#these nights of laying in bed crying | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

3knecrotic · 1 year

Text

Sometimes I don't think she cares, but it's also my Fault so I'm left so conflicted

..

#dk speaks #vent #thc rambles #im so tired of having these nights..#these nights of laying in bed crying #spiraling into a panic and hazed mind that makes me think about how our relationship will never work #it doesn't feel sustainable at its current state #and im sure itll change but also #ugh its been so many months and i feel helplessly stuck #some days its cute. shes ever changing and my understanding of her grows more complex with every interaction #but #sometimes it just feels like #i don't #know #her enough #which is So Shit to say because i want to be her Fucking Husband #idk #im just so stationary and she's so... head first not caring whether she has a helmet or not #and our relationship in and of itself feels #so weirdly balanced sometimes #most of the time its fine but #some nights when i think a little too hard about #it #kinda hurts #for some reason #i dont know #im just so tired

1 note · View note

yourgfdgirlfriend · 1 year

Text

last night a guy actually put his hand on my shoulder blade (i was wearing a suit) and told me ‘petite’ in an acknowledging, slightly praising voice, looking at me expectantly, as if I was now supposed to swoon over this outstanding ‘compliment’. i raised a single eyebrow. he then told me I shouldn’t be ‘so cold’. i turned to my friend and told her what he said and she said ‘he did not’ and I said ‘he did’ and he still could not fathom all night why I wasn’t interested

#kink parties are strange sometimes #i mean they are fun #but you meet strange people #and i tend to make female friends i flirt with all night instead of meeting even a potential sub #not that that surprises me #the men i’m interested in don’t go to parties like that #they lay in bed humping a pillow and daydream about a dom kidnapping them in between bouts of crying because they’re lonely #prey animals don’t go to the hunting ground #the cute soft crybabies i want are way to shy to go anywhere near those parties

108 notes · View notes

sodaf · 2 months

Text

being mentally ill is so cool

#i cried the entire night because i felt unloved and abandoned while literally sleeping in the same room as two of my friends #who i have been hanging out with for the last 3 days #and i am full aware i am being looked after and cared about but currently i want to do nothing other than lay in bed and think about kms #and scratched the shit out of my neck somehow #it feels like a personal slight agaknst me whenever i dont get the right kind of attention and like everything is #sending me into a more depressed mood #and i dont want to bring anything up bc i dont want to kill the vibe so im trying to bottle it up but i know once i get home #i am gping to have a massive meltdown #and im thinking about how to prevent myself from launching myself from one end of the spectrum of 'best friends' to #'i never want to fucking hear about them again'#through no fault of theor own but holy shit im lkke going through it #i want to be held and cry and be told no im not an unlovable freak whos only at best second place or worse to everyone and everything else #bc currently sure feeling like absolute shit that is making me genuinely suicidal idk how to stress how fucking much i hate myself rn #sorry for posting it here i dont want them to see it if i put it somewhere else 👍

5 notes · View notes

heartual · 28 days

Text

#🍄.txt #putting away clothes feeling overheated and dizzy and getting overstimulated bc everything makes me feel sick and crying about it for 5 mins #i feel really normal about things and react appropriately #so maybe heartburn and chest pain flare ups all day yesterday did a lil number on me #decided not to shower before coming up to bed because i was exhausted and didn’t feel like coming out of the shower dizzy #and feeling even more overstimulated because i feel so dirty because i showered the night before and not in the morning #and remembering i have to go out and see family later that i don’t think i can get out of because my cousin has the guiltripper gene #and liked using it against me so i’ll probably never hear the end of it #i love being overstimulated like actually the only thing that’ll fix me is killing myself #laying in bed feeling paralyzed and dirty because my hair and my face feel oily ok #hair on my pillow i need to wash. ok #i feel really normal about this #not at all like i can’t remember the last time i took my anxiety medication this past week

3 notes · View notes

whentherewerebicycles · 1 year

Text

#I keep making this post and deleting it #and both are cathartic: writing it out over and over. and making it not exist again. over and over #and both feel awful. both feel awful. both feel awful #it’s not over till it’s over #but I think it’s over #i sobbed for three hours but it’s amazing how much your body can just #keep crying #it finds the reserves somewhere #I think on Saturday I will have to leave the wedding and drive an hour to get more bloodwork done #and then I guess an ultrasound #and then if I haven’t miscarried I guess they’ll have to make me #and then I guess I can’t try again for a while if it’s a certain drug #and then I guess it’ll never happen for me never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never #no. but maybe. but that’s what it feels like right now #idk. or maybe a miracle will happen #I lay awake in bed last night thinking #maybe this is the last time I get to be pregnant for sure #me and my baby the size of a sesame seed #who now it seems like maybe never existed #in any size or shape at all

24 notes · View notes

its-simply-rose · 11 months

Text

.

#I was laying in bed last night #thinking about what was going on a year ago #and I almost started crying when I realized #that I am in a much happier place #yes. work still sucks #but I come home and I’m /happy/#because I’ve found new outlets 🍃#because I’ve found someone that puts up with me every day (7 months yesterday ❤️)#because I’ve started to put my mental health first #what I’ve learned though?#things do get better. eventually. but they do 💜#y’all can ignore this #rant over #I’ll go back to creeping tumblr #enjoy y’all’s rest of the week and happy Friday Eve

18 notes · View notes

bo0zey · 2 years

Text

anyone else ever get in those silly goofy moods where u just hate urself sooo much that u instantly feel physically almost violently ill just thinking abt urself and also even tho u worked a 12hr shift w no breaks or water running off of the 2 cups of coffee u had for breakfast 20 hours ago, the thought of eating instantly sends bouts of nausea coursing thru ur soul while churning in ur stomach bc ur brain hates u so much that its convinced ur body that u don’t deserve sustenance or anything else that’s life sustaining or promotes ur physical well being because u subconsciously convinced urself that ur such a shit excuse for a human being that u neither deserve nor have any right to anything regarding maslow’s hierarchy of needs bc u r such an awful thing u deserve to be neglected n treated like the nonliving object ur own brain sees ur living body as or am i just mentally ill lol

#laying in bed everytime i think abt myself i feel literally nauseated n like it’s so weird #this feeling comes in waves intermittently just even .01 sec of ‘hm i’m hungry’ FFFFFNOPE HRRGRHFFF VOMITTY #i want to curl up in a ball and die forever i don’t care about me i don’t want to take care of me anymore i’m not even good at it #whyyyyyyyy did i stop taking my meddsssssss i guarantee y’all this is why i’m being such a crybaby on the dash lmaoooo #i have a headache i’m def dehydrated from crying n sniveling n barely drinking any water today while sweating like a mf at work #imma go to bed 🛌 if i don’t wake up i will be soooo pleasantly surprised y’all have no idea FINGERS CROSSED🤞#real talk tho can someone tell me why my body is literally reacting this way for like no real reason #like am i truly that disgusted with myself i make myself nauseous just thinking abt me #ok yeah the answer is yes lol BUT LIKE WHY THATS SUCH A DRAMATIC BODILY RESPONSE TO MY BRAINS DUMBASS THOUGHTS???#ik the body and mind have a super powerful link n the brain influences the body like crazy but like #why this why does my brain literally want me to berate and degrade myself and isolate me and make me cry alone n starve me that’s so mean #i’m not starving btw i’m literally always eating just these past 2 days i’ve been such a fuckup my body won’t let me do anything #i had a chocolate poptart for dinner last night (thurs) n threw myself to bed #i hope i don’t end up hurting myself that would be so lame #i literally don’t have time for that like i am Not doing wound care duty off the clock for my damn self lol #also don’t want to take care of myself so i wouldn’t bandage myself up properly sooo yeah i’m not gonna do anything actually #cleaning ur wounds r super important ok yall ur literally playing god if u don’t do good aftercare snfjfbdj #i can’t believe i’m in this nasty ugly depressive episode i hate this so much i don’t have time for this i hate this cycle #i hate being bipolar 2 n my moods n meds have been so fkcdd up lately that i don’t even have the rlly fun hypomanic episodes anymore #i’ve just been constantly having mixed episodes im unbearable to be around im so sorry for everyone that’s ever spoken to me im insufferable #ok that’s enough im done being dramatic lmao #im gonna give myself a bolus PRN dose of clonnie then i’m going tf to bed #ramblings #shut up cianna

24 notes · View notes

wrecking · 6 months

Text

being tormented by the fact my dissociative disorder actually made me dissociate. and so much that i genuinely have lost a couple hours to a switch now. like obsessed w it it's killing me

#d #like last night i remember playing minecraft. laying in bed crying for 1 second. and then watching castlevania. that's it.#p

2 notes · View notes

imtalkin · 7 months

Text

Did the little “yuh” in bye make anyone else cry?

#lol it’s such a silly thing to get emotional over #but I was laying in bed listening to it last night and I had to pause it because I was crying too much LOL #bye #ariana grande #eternal sunshine #yuh

2 notes · View notes

the-kipsabian · 1 year

Text

me right now after reading chapter four

#laying in my bed kicking my feetsies crying screaming #i have a lot to say. i'll be sharing a bit later after im done cleaning and i can form comprehensive thoughts again #just ough. my heart #im in so much love yall dont understand #night is an absolute mess on main

7 notes · View notes

joyridingmp3 · 10 months

Text

actions speak louder than words. goodnight everyone ❤️

#I'm not tired in the least but I've gotta be up early for this school visit #and I'm kinda anxious again by in a good way #so I'll probably lay in bed and stare at the ceiling with my heart pounding out of my chest #the same way i did saturday night just gone #except tonight i won't cry myself to sleep #because I've set boundaries now #mine #i can do whatever i want forever and ever and I've given up caring about anyone else's reaction to that #goodnight ok

4 notes · View notes

peppermintbutch · 1 year

Text

Anton compilation

#i miss him so much going through old photos on my laptop and like every second photo i took was an anton photo #there were so many little things about him that will never be there again. But I'm so happy i got to see them even the disgusting ones.#he would lay on my feet when i was cutting vegetables. he would flatten his ears as a way of saying hi.#he would do his best impression of a human hello when encountering people on his walks. he loved to eat carrots #and whenever he got one he'd run off to his bed with it and the crunching would be so loud.#he could notice when people were angry or sad and he'd try to comfort me and lick my face when i was crying.#we'd throw sticks for him into wheat fields and he'd lose them in there and prance like a deer only his ears sticking out.#he smelled really awful most of the time. he loved to eat shit and dead animals.#he was really scared of sheep and skylarks and our neighbors cat #he loved swimming and when he first learned how he splashed around so much like a little fountain.#he liked to sleep with his head on my shoes. at night i would hear the tap of his little feet #and then a thump when he'd lay down against my parents bedroom door and then a really loud sigh.#he once got on the table and ate the bolognaise when my mom was picking me up from school but he left a plateful for me #he made genuinely the strangest noises I've ever heard a dog produce.#after i moved out he was always so happy when i came to visit. he loved people #when he was younger there were a few trigger words that made him so excited he'd run up the stairs and howl. one of them was my sisters nam #as he got older he became more of a baby and so cuddly and calm.#i'm really sad that i didn't get to say goodbye to him or be there when he died but i hope he knew how much i love him

2 notes · View notes

anxsity · 2 years

Text

reaching for my phone like oh no! i almost went to bed without listening to the new fob song. surely this is what i need right now. (<- naive bastard)

#fob #i KNEW it would sound like their older sound but i was NOT ready #the intro ended and tears immediately came to my eyes #it feels like a hug. like going home. im sooooooo normal right now!#god. 13 year old me 🤝 me rn: laying in bed at night in the dark listening to fob #the more things change the more they stay the same eh?#its so- its fine! its fine! why am i crying #fall out boy #paramore and fob both giving me fucking compounding brain damage in 2023

9 notes · View notes

hexellent · 1 year

Text

Me? Shoving my tendencies to take everything presented at me at face value onto knux? Perhaps.

#don't yell at me i'll cry {ooc}#so-and-so has been going by [specific pronouns] since I met them? obviously that’s just how that is #no questions asked #it took so many nights laying in bed upset that I couldn’t be androgynous to realize oh fuck I may not be cis

2 notes · View notes

fenfoxs · 1 year

Note

roy scheider breasts? boobies roy? roy scheider tits big?

hes got big tits tand thats a fact. so proud of him the hrt is working

#foxbox #neexed this anon #im crying rn i had a bad night #this mad eme laugh #i judt got home like 10 minutes ago #laying in bed tho im gonna sleep soon

3 notes · View notes

hairringtonsteve · 1 year

Text

im so tired of reparenting myself this isn't even my job why couldn't my parents have done their job the first time around

#personal #currently laying in bed crying while i have 27 more papers to grade #my neighbors downstairs got into a fight last night and boy howdy did it slam me into a trauma response #the good ol' days

3 notes · View notes