Tumgik
#and our relationship in and of itself feels
neyafromfrance95 · 3 days
Text
some people fundamentally misunderstand the appeal of the soulmate enemies trope in a fantasy genre.
what is so alluring about sauron x galadriel dynamic is the whole notion that sauron is making up delusions about merging souls with galadriel so that they can be joined at the hip while galadriel is making up fantasies about slaying him like a dragon. that sauron is an irredeemable evil, the darkness incarnate itself, yet galadriel is the only being he loves bc he covets her like morgoth coveted silmarils (which is so mythology-core) and bc she is his inverted mirror. that galadriel can't stop fighting sauron, is consumed by her fight against him, so it becomes an intrinsic part of her very being to the point where she even takes nenya, the symbol of her fight and connection to sauron, with her to valinor. that he makes her thirsty for power and she makes him obsessed to posses her. that no matter how many times galadriel has humiliated sauron (who is infamously prideful) by rejecting him, he still gropes ever to see her.
and we must view their story from the fictional lens, not our real life perspective! these characters and their feelings are not human, and the dynamic that is created by her devotion to the fight against him and his selfish worship of her is explainable only when we accept that the nature of their relationship is metaphysical and psychosexual and metaphorical in essence!
169 notes · View notes
soscarlett1twas · 2 days
Text
Been thinking about Andrew and Luca.
There’s something so special to me about these two men — outwardly, very different people, but they’re just so alike internally: both having a pretty isolated upbringing with little to no friends, then being thrust into college life and discovering love… and that’s where we see a rift. The outcome of that relationship diverts the course of their emotional journeys. That is, until they meet eachother.
Luca found success where Andrew did not. Luca’s college relationship landed him a fiancé, while Andrew’s was the first in a long chain of loneliness. Isaac left him, then his brother did, and all Andrew had was the choice to either drown in his feelings, or drown in work. He chose work. And that pivoted them to meet, as without Andrew’s drive, he never would have become the young professor Luca TA’d for. He built himself wax wings to soar; but we all know the end of that myth.
Luca, meanwhile, was with the love of his life. Someone who supported him relentlessly for simply being him. It’s pretty clear they have a set-in-stone happily ever after, for as much as even I don’t believe in them. But what’s interesting about this is that Luca is the abandoner. He left his family back in the US. He is happy without them, but he is also not the person who stayed. And we know he was going to — he admits to having planned returning to the States after uni. But he didn’t, because he found love. Love he figured was worth (physically) leaving his family and life for.
Sound familiar? Takes a similar bent to a certain twin’s, doesn’t it.
So it’s those choices which force them to meet. Andrew’s delve into work and Luca’s “running away.” Luca is initially terrified of Andrew while Andrew just sees Luca as his new TA. Both completely fair POVs.
That works for like a week, then Andrew and Darling’s scandal breaks. (An affair which I will say only happened because of Andrew’s crippling loneliness. Andrew wouldn’t have broken his morals so deeply if it weren’t for that fact he literally had nobody else, so desperate for some form of love that he turned to a damn student.) Darling, in the heat of their argument, pins some blame on Luca, accusing Andrew of having a fling with Luca. It’s ludicrous, and I doubt even Darling actually believed that, but it strikes a nerve with Andrew.
Something similar happens with Luca and Babe later. While it’s not as severe an accusation, Babe is jealous of the blooming friendship between our dear Marston and Pearce. Luca assures them that there is nothing going on because literally nothing is, except for the fact that both of their listeners have only observed these two lacking in something, which can be described in a lump sum as friendship.
It’s a rare moment of almost… misunderstanding? For the listeners? Luca and Andrew are both made better by their listeners. ‘Better’ in little, esoteric ways — parallel to the nature of love itself, because is love if not for the little things? — but better nonetheless. So I think to see that little spark of fulfillment in your partner fueled by another person was a moment of yes, misunderstanding.
Because they do begin to fulfill eachother.
Luca calls Andrew more of a ‘big brother’ than anything else. Andrew is the family Luca left behind. And Luca is Andrew’s friend, a role once taken by the people who left him, and it is not a job that can be taken up by a partner — romantic and platonic love are not the same, after all.
This all comes to a head when Andrew and Luca have their talk. The details are a little obscure, but from what I’ve picked up, it seems they spoke about engagement. Luca’s proposal to Babe, specifically.
This is the climax of two things: first, the building of a friendship between two people who spent their lives pretty devoid of that and two, their crossroads. Luca wants to have his family again, only this time, with the person he loves more than anything. Andrew is going steady with Darling and is in the position to have a heart-to-heart with someone who is coming to him as a friend, as a brother, even if Luca never fully expressed that to Andrew.
And it works out. Even if hidden in the vibrant hues of an Icarian crash and burn from Andrew (him losing his job), there are still strokes of bliss. Babe says yes. Luca and Andrew’s friendship grows. Darling and Andrew living peacefully, above all else, together.
Luca and Andrew aren’t even amazing friends, but still, they’re parallels and foils all at once.
They are eachothers closure and openings to a new life. They are brief moments, those passing friends who you see only so often, but still the shifting in a current. Because you don’t need some big, romantic love affair to be changed — you don’t even need a really good friend, you just need a friend.
Somebody.
And I think that’s neat.
73 notes · View notes
pamwritessometimes · 3 days
Text
Fridays are for beer and heartbreak
Beau Arlen x Reader
Tumblr media
A/N: It's just a little something I came up with the other day. If I'm being honest, I've never seen Big Sky, but I'm a simp for a man in cowboy boots, so... enjoy. 🤍
Warnings: none? oh, maybe that English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry for any mistakes.
Tumblr media
It wasn’t necessarily a bad day. For what it's worth, it was a relatively nice, sunny day in Montana terms. Sure, my boyfriend declared the final break-up of our relationship, but to be frank, I was utterly unfazed by his antics; we’ve been in an on-again-off-again relationship for a year now. Not that it was serious in the first place. At least, not for him. And, if I’m honest with myself, maybe not for me either. So yeah, it was a relatively okay day.
Still, there’s something about hearing the finality in someone’s voice, even when it’s a toxic someone, that leaves you feeling a little hollow. The break-up itself wasn’t anything spectacular—just another drawn-out argument that ended with him muttering some lame excuse before walking out. It had happened so many times before that I almost laughed when he slammed the door.
I was free. Really free. But that didn’t stop the ache sitting heavy in my chest.
I pushed through the rest of my day, the usual routine of prepping for the evening rush at the bar. A glance in the mirror told me I looked the part—western boots, worn-in jeans, a dark brown suede jacket I loved more than I probably should, and my hair pulled back just enough to stay out of my face but still look effortless. I should have felt like myself. I was supposed to be this confident, tough woman who didn’t need anyone to mess with her head, but tonight… I just didn’t have the energy to be that.
The bar was packed for a Friday night, as it usually was by this time of the evening. The usual crowd was in full swing, with the sound of old country and blues tunes playing from the jukebox and the steady clink of bottles being set on tables. It was one of those oldie bars that still had that charming and rustic atmosphere, like time stilled between its four walls. That night I stayed behind the counter more than I usually did, letting the other servers handle most of the tables. I wasn’t in the mood to make small talk or listen to the same old stories I’d heard a thousand times. I didn't have the energy for that either.
Then, Beau walked in. Right on schedule.
He had this easy confidence about him, something I noticed the first time he came in months ago. It was in the way he held himself, like he could command a room without trying, but somehow never made a big deal about it. Tall, broad shoulders, dark hair that always looked like he just ran a hand through it after a long shift. And those eyes—green, like the pines up in the mountains after the rain.
He always came in around this time on Fridays, right after his shift ended. Sheriff of Helena by day, patron at my bar by night. There was something comforting about the routine of it. Maybe because he was the closest thing I had to a friend here, even though we were more like two people who enjoyed each other’s company but kept everything else at arm’s length. Still, there was always something unspoken between us—something that hung in the air when he sat down at the bar, a tension I couldn’t quite name. Beau slid onto the barstool closest to me, the one he always sat at, and gave me a smile that eased the ache I’d been feeling all day.
“Evening” he said in that slow, easy drawl of his, laying his hat on the counter. “How’s it going, darling?”
I forced a smile, pulling a cold beer from behind the bar and sliding it across to him without asking. He always ordered the same thing, and I always had it ready for him. “Same as always” I replied, but even I could hear the flatness in my voice. His eyes narrowed a little as he studied me, and I could feel his gaze linger on my slight frown. He had a way of seeing through me, like he could tell when something was off even before I said anything. 
“You sure about that?” His voice was quiet, not pushing, just waiting for me to let him in. It was the way he asked, like he already knew the answer but was giving me a chance to speak first.
I glanced away, grabbing a towel and pretending to wipe down the already squeaky clean counter. “I’m fine. Just… had one of those days.”
Beau took a long sip of his beer, but he didn’t take his eyes off me. “Doesn’t seem like nothing.”
I let out a breath and leaned on the bar, dropping the towel and meeting his gaze. “He broke up with me. For real this time.” I hadn’t planned on saying it, but the words came out before I could stop them.
He raised an eyebrow, but there wasn’t a hint of surprise in his face. “You mean, finally?”
I couldn’t help but laugh, a short, sharp sound that felt good coming out. “Yeah, I guess you could say that.”
Beau didn’t say anything right away. He just sat there, watching me with those damn eyes that made it hard to keep things light. There was something deeper there tonight, something that had always simmered between us but felt more dangerous now, like we were toeing a line neither of us had been willing to cross before. 
“You good with that?” His voice was softer now, the edges gentler, and it felt like a real question, not just small talk.
“Honestly? I’m better off. I know that. But… it still stings, you know?”
Beau nodded, and something flickered in his expression, something almost protective. His gaze softened matching his voice. “You deserve so much better than what he was giving you, darling.”
His words hung in the air between us, heavy with underlying meanings. I knew what he meant. I knew he wasn’t just talking about my ex, and that’s when the tension snapped into something sharper, something deeper. I felt it in the way he was looking at me now, not as the bartender he chatted with every Friday, but as someone he cared about. But could that be the truth?
Maybe I wasn’t just his bartender either. Maybe we’d been dancing around this for too long. I leaned in slightly, not even realizing I was doing it until I saw his gaze drop to my lips. The bar around us seemed to fade, the noise, the people...none of it mattered in that moment. It was just me and Beau and the weight of everything unsaid between us thick and obvious in the air. 
“You gonna be alright?” he asked finally, and I couldn't help but notice how his voice became an octave lower... intimate in a way that sent a shiver down my spine.
“I think so” I whispered.
But my heart was pounding, not from the breakup, but from the way he was looking at me. Like maybe, just maybe, he’d been waiting for this moment as long as I had.
It wasn’t necessarily a bad day.
Tumblr media
Thanks for reading! Have a nice day, loves. 🤍
25 notes · View notes
jamethinks · 3 days
Text
One thing I find very ironic about Spyxfamily is the way the Desmonds are portrayed. I understand that according to the narrative, they (namely Donovan) are the antagonists of the story, but I do find it quite tepid that so many character analysis is bonded by this very dichotomy style approach to understanding the characters (if that makes any sense).
I'm having a hard time approaching my point so bare with me if it starts to get confusing or disjointed.
I always see people talking about how the Forgers (aka the fake family) are able to have a happy relationship and a genuine bond while the Desmonds (aka the real family) are distant and uncaring of one another. There's a lot of emphasis on the parallels between Damian and Anya and how the presence of their fathers impact their lives. Most of the discussion is centered around shaming Donovan for not being more involved in Damian's life but not a lot of people are acknowledging why.
The whole reason for the fake family as part of Twilight's mission is because Donovan is a closed off skeptic who avoids unnecessary social interaction. This mission is supposedly the easiest way to get to him. As the story goes on, we gain a better understanding of just how shut off Donovan is and how much he actually isolated himself, even from his own family.
But the thing is, his actions are justified. The mere existence of Operation Strix validates his fears and anxieties. The fact that Twilight a spy is trying to expoilt the relationship he has with his children in order to get closer to him is the very reason he avoids them so much. It's people like Twilight that make him such a skeptical person.
Again, people praise Twilight for being a good dad, except he isn't really a good dad. It's all a facade. He's so dedicated to his goal as a spy for the West that he's willing to fake an entire family just to find out what Donovan is planning. Everything Donovan hates and resents is embodied in Twilight.
In the end, Twilight is just as harmful to Anya as Donovan is to Damian. He grabbed a random child from an orphanage and is using her for his own personal gain with limited regard for her well-being. We are not even sure what he plans on doing with her when the mission is over. Anya is obviously able to manipulate the situation to her own advantage, but that's only because she's a telepath. Any other kid would just be playing along, assume they just got themselves a new family overnight. We do see him grow and deepen his bond with Anya, in some cases threatening the mission for her benefit, but that was never a guarantee.
In a very frustrating way, Twilight is also contributing to Damian's strained relationship with his father and family. While Donovan obviously doesn't know what Twilight is doing, he's still aware that there are people out there who might. So, he continues to be guarded and make unreasonable demands of his children. He makes Damian feel he has to earn his place in his father's life because people like Twilight push Donovan to limit the number of people that are allowed in his life. I'm not saying it's Twilight specifically who's at fault, but people like him who are very much trying to force their way into his circle.
And I'm not saying of this yo defend Donovan or put down Twilight but I would like for less black and white thinking when talking about a Manga that hinges itself on nuance and the complexity of post war society. I find it a bit tired to keep categorizing characters as good or bad because it really hinders any conversation about them.
Idk I just feel there's a lot of moral ambiguity in sxf that really is intended to make us question our own moral code so it's weird seeing people ignore the actual harm Twilight and Yor cause just to reinforce their own limited moral values.
I don't think this makes much sense honestly.
36 notes · View notes
my-mt-heart · 2 days
Text
Putting the "ew" in EW
There are a lot of things wrong with the article, but let's start with the glaringly obvious...
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Instead of letting Daryl's and Carol's connection speak for itself and letting fans get excited to see the connection as they've understood it for over a decade, Dalton Ross tries to project his own POV onto us, overemphasizing a platonic friendship as if it's the only right answer and ignoring the core of Caryl's fanbase, who are well within reason to want payoff to a romantic love story between Caryl that was earned time and time again in the flagship show. If his goal was to define the relationship for us once and for all, he completely fails. All he's really doing is exposing himself as yet another deeply insecure and toxic middle-aged white man who can't fathom a middle-aged woman with gray hair as a romantic partner for the middle-aged male protagonist. It's ignorant at best and at worst, it's aiding an effort to hurt Melissa's viewership (worth noting that Dalton Ross is one of Gimple's connections). But sadly, his spin is not even the worst problem...
Tumblr media
This has to be one of the most ridiculous exchanges between a showrunner and a lead actor that I've ever read, but to cut to the chase, if the former is so disconnected from Daryl that he doesn't know the first thing about how this character forms attachments with others or why it takes him so long and what that says about his relationship with Carol, he shouldn't be the showrunner. That's been clear since S1 and in every interview he does, so at this point, AMC is shooting themselves in the foot the longer they keep him on or even just let him open his mouth.
In case I haven't made myself perfectly clear a million times, I am here for the Daryl I connected with when he became the most loyal and loving man to Carol and his family in the flagship show. I am here for The Book of Carol because I want to watch Carol rise above her trauma as she's risen above so many challenges in her life and I want to watch her finally claim a love she didn't think she was worthy of before, which is true love/romantic love/soulmate love with Daryl (look, I can overemphasize too). I want to watch Melissa McBride, who has also had to rise above so many challenges as a woman in the industry, give one powerful performance after another after another. I want her to get all the praise from fans and critics that she deserves and I want her to have more creative control since she's the one who really knows how to do Carol's story justice. Imagine if all we had to analyze was her own words...
Tumblr media Tumblr media
I am so fucking tired of other EPs trying to turn the beautiful things she has to say and the beautiful things she brings to her show into a footnote because they always have to be so overt in their misogyny, ageism, arrogance, and stupidity first. I am fucking tired of feeling unwelcome to a show being marketed as #TWDCARYL when I am both a Carol and a Daryl fan who also ships them together. The perpetual mess doesn't speak to Melissa's value or to her fans' priorities. I will continue to direct my blame at the other EPs, and I need AMC to start doing the same. Stop giving David Zabel, Greg Nicotero, and Scott Gimple a platform. Stop giving into their need to promote themselves. Stop losing viewers over them. Let's get a showrunner who understands Carol's and Daryl's characters as well as their relationship, and here's a new idea, let's get journalists/reviewers who don't try to shove their own insecurities down our throats to cover the aspects of the show that we actually connect with. Believe it or not, those of us who are loudly complaining do want to be here.
23 notes · View notes
into-deepspace · 2 days
Note
Hello! Hope you're having a great day!
May I request for Rafayel's reaction when MC comes out as non-binary? It's something that's never left my head since I started playing lnds. I can't help but worry if it'd change things for him even though I know it won't (insecurity did a number on me🥹). What if MC wanted to present themes as masc/femme? How would he react?
Sorry if this is too long and complicated and I understand if you don't want to write for this but if you do write it it'd mean the world to me. Thank you for reading this ask🌸🌸
aaa of course!!! dw it wasn't long or complicated at all! i had a lot of fun writing this, and i rlly hope i did rafayel justice here <33 i feel like it ended awkwardly but ah what can u do. anywayyyy:
as you are
rafayel/mc • nonbinary mc • 1.6k • ao3 link requests open, reblogs appreciated! mild hurt/comfort || coming out || tooth-rotting fluff || established relationship
MC stares at themselves in the mirror fixing their hair nervously. In twenty minutes, they’re meeting Rafayel at a cafe, one of their favourites. They’d made the plans several days ago, and have been nervously thinking through every possibility ever since. After all, coming out, no matter who it’s to, is nerve wracking.
“I need to talk to you,” they’d sent him, late in the evening when both of them really should have been asleep. Despite the late hour, typing bubbles immediately popped up from Rafayel’s end. He sends a sticker of a distressed yellow bird, then a message.
Rafayel, 11:48 PM are u breaking up with me :(
A bit frantic, MC typed back a quick response. Of course Rafayel, ever dramatic, would assume the worst.
MC, 11:48 PM No omg?
Rafayel, 11:48 PM DUN SCARE ME LIKE THAT THEN???? Those are FIGHTING WORDS. fighting words i tell u!!
MC sighed, but couldn't help but laugh a bit. It was never a dull moment with him around, one of the things they have always loved about him. They explained that no, they're not breaking up with him, but they did have something a little more serious they needed to talk with him about.
Rafayel, 12:03 AM okayyyy spill the beans cutie wait no serious I Am Prepared To Listen To Your Words. Please Begin.
MC, 12:04 AM Actually, i wanted to talk in person Can we meet @ our usual cafe on saturday
They waited nervously for Rafayel's response, picking at a stray thread in their blanket. But as usual, they had nothing to worry about
Rafayel, 12:05 AM ofc ofc ill buy u a tea and a cake and we can talk <3
They couldn't help but smile at their phone. He was always so sweet, so ready to adjust and accommodate. They just hope he’ll be the same way about this new revelation.
Now, MC has been going by their chosen name for a long while, so long that most people don’t even know the name they were given at birth. They’ve always presented a little more [femme/masc] than their peers, and Rafayel didn’t seem to mind any of that. If anything, he encouraged it, saying that the way they expressed themselves was art in it of itself. But would this, their coming out, be a piece of the puzzle that he wasn’t okay with?
MC sighs, smoothing their clothes one last time and telling themselves that they really do need to get going. Sitting here and stewing in their anxieties isn’t going to make anything better. They grab their bike helmet and make their way down to the street, setting off.
An uneventful drive later, they arrive at the cafe and park, fixing their hair in their phone camera after they take their helmet off. It seems Rafayel hasn’t arrived yet, which means they can go in and order for themselves. Usually, they’re fine with Rafayel paying for their treats, but what if he’s upset this time? What if he realizes he’s spent money on someone he can’t accept.
Just as they’re pulling their card from their wallet to pay for their drink and pastry, an arm wraps around their waist and lips press against their cheek, startling them.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Rafayel says, tone light and joking as he slips their wallet from their hands, tucking it back into their pocket. Ignoring their protests, he turns to the person at the register. “Add a vanilla iced coffee to that please, with… hm, six sugars.” MC can only watch as his drink is added to the total and he slots his card into the reader, looking pleased with himself.
Rafayel takes their hand and walks them over to a table by the window, pulling out their chair for them with a dramatic flourish. Normally, MC would laugh at his antics, but they’re too nervous right now to manage anything more than a tight smile. Rafayel, of course, notices right away.
“What’s wrong, cutie?” he asks, taking their hands as he kneels in front of their chair. MC takes a shaky breath, trying to school their expression into something at least neutral.
“I’m okay,” they say. “I promise.” For a moment, Rafayel tilts his head and searches their face. Then, with a sigh, he stands, pressing a kiss to their knuckles as he does.
“Okay,” he smiles. “We’ll talk once you’ve got something tasty to keep you company, okay?” This prompts a smile, a little more real this time, from MC.
“Okay,” they whisper.
Ever the gentleman, Rafayel goes to retrieve their order, tasting his own drink before adding two more pumps of sugary syrup to it and sprinkling cinnamon across the top. He comes back to their table, setting MC’s portion in front of them. They taste their own drink and nod in satisfaction, cutting a piece of their pastry to place into their mouth.
“Do you want some?” they ask, offering a forkful to Rafayel. With an easy smile, he waves away their question.
“Nah,” he says. “This here is sweet enough.” He shakes his drink, the ice in it rattling as specks of cinnamon swirl around. MC nods, taking the bite for themselves.
They let themselves savor the moment for a bit before speaking. After all, they don’t know if this is something they’ll ever have again. They make their way about halfway through the pastry before they take another long sip of their drink and fold their hands in their lap.
“I have something I need to tell you,” they say, before they can lose their resolve. “...Please don’t be upset with me.” Rafayel smiles, reaching across the table with his palm up, gesturing for their hand. MC obliges, tangling their fingers together, and Rafayel squeezes reassuringly.
“I won’t be,” he promises. “You can tell me anything. I swear.”
MC takes a deep breath. They appreciate that he’s putting his usual jokes and quips aside, sensing the nervous gravity of the moment, but it almost makes them even more anxious. Biting their lip, MC decides it’s better to rip the metaphorical band-aid off in one go.
“I’m nonbinary,” they say simply. “And I’m sorry I’ve been keeping this from you.”
Rafayel blinks for a moment, silent. MC feels their eyes sting.
“What?”
“Uh.” Out of all the scenarios they’d mentally prepared for, this wasn’t one of them. “You know,” they begin, “like, I’m not a guy, but I’m also not a girl. It’s-”
“No, I know what nonbinary means, silly,” Rafayel grins. “Why would you ever think I’d be upset at you over this?” MC feels the sting in their eyes become welling moisture, and Rafayel scrambles to drag his chair around to their side of the table and pull them into a tight embrace.
“I thought you were gonna tell me that you were moving away, or that you lost your job or something!” he says, rocking them back and forth, gently, slowly. With a shaky breath, MC tucks their face into Rafayel’s shoulder, smiling to themselves. But he’s not done, continuing as he pulls them tighter.
“And if you come to me tomorrow and say you feel some other way, or that you want to change your name or buy new clothes or change your hair, that’s okay! MC, I love you no matter what. I promise, something like this is never ever going to come between me and you.” They’re full on sobbing now, the relief that comes with acceptance and the lovely promises spilling from Rafayel’s lips making all sorts of emotions surge in their chest.
Rafayel pulls back, cupping their face with one hand and wiping their tears away with the other. He smiles, a radiant and loving thing, and MC can’t help but give a breathy, relieved laugh as he leans in to place light little kisses along their cheeks.
“I don’t know why I was so nervous,” MC admits. “You never did anything to make me worried about this.” Rafayel shrugs.
“It’s a big thing to tell someone,” he says. “I’m proud of you. I know this took a lot.”
“It really did,” MC acknowledges. Rafayel ruffles their hair affectionately before scooting his chair back over to his side, keeping one of MC’s hands in his own.
“Okay, okay,” he says, buzzing with energy now that the serious moment is waning. “Finish your pastry and then we can go shopping.” MC blinks, surprised.
“We weren’t planning on going-”
“Uh-uh!” Rafayel cuts in, waving a hand in their face and startling a laugh from them. “Shhhh, we’re going shopping. You wanna go buy pretty things with me soooo bad. You would never think of saying no to this lovely face of mine.”
“Oh, my god,” MC laughs, nearly dropping their fork. “You’re so dramatic.” In response, Rafayel gives a pleased smile and makes a motion as if flicking hair behind his shoulder. MC shakes their head good naturedly, taking another bite of their pastry.
They do, in fact, end up out in the shops, and Rayafel buys them a jacket they’ve been eyeing for a long while. The two of them swing their intertwined hands between them as they walk, enjoying each others’ presence. It’s late in the evening by the time they decide to part ways, and even then, Rafayel convinces MC to sleep over at his house.
A couple hours later, laying in bed, MC watches Rafayel’s sleeping face with a soft smile. They never thought they’d be lucky enough for a relationship like this.
18 notes · View notes
3knecrotic · 1 year
Text
Sometimes I don't think she cares, but it's also my Fault so I'm left so conflicted
..
1 note · View note
fictionadventurer · 7 months
Text
The worst part about reading in a genre where you have low expectations (in this case, Christian historical fiction) is that when a book impresses you, you have no idea if it's actually good or if you're just overly impressed because it was a fraction of a degree better than the usual garbage.
#basically lately anytime i read a christian fiction book that isn't romance-based i find myself surprised by the quality#i do think that some christian publishers are getting better#and trying to tell stories that dig deeper into real faith and messy issues#instead of making only vapid squeaky clean prayer-filled tropefests#but i'm not sure *how much* better#because anything above the low bar feels like great literature#the most recent is 'in a far-off land' by stephanie landsem#and let me tell you setting the prodigal son in 1930s hollywood is a genius concept#i have some issues with the history and the mystery#but the characters!#it has been a long time since i cried this hard over a book#several chapters of solid waterworks#(and i also have the issue of figuring out if it's actually that moving or if i'm just hormonal/sleep-deprived)#i keep thinking about this book but also i worry about recommending because what if it's actually terrible by normal book standards?#(also the author DOES NOT understand the seal of confession and i was SHOCKED to find that she's actually catholic)#but also looking at the reviews makes it clear that if most of christian fiction is vapid garbage it's these reviewers' fault#here you have something that's digging into sin and darkness and justice and mercy and these people are just#'how can it call itself christian fiction if it only mentions god at the end?'#are we reading the same book this WHOLE THING is about god! and humanity and our fallen nature and how this breaks relationships!#your pearl-clutching anytime someone tries to get even a tiny bit realistic is destroying this genre#i'm gonna run out of tags so i'll stop now
58 notes · View notes
mhaynoot · 1 year
Text
JANG HAYOUNG AND HER RELATIONSHIP WITH KDJ / DKOS IS A REFLECTION OF KDJ’S OWN RELATIONSHIP WITH YJH INCLUDING THE IDEALISATION OF THE PROTAGONIST IN THE STORY AND LEARNING TO LOVE BOTH THE STORY AND THE ONE YOU GOT TO KNOW AND IN THIS ESSAY I WILL-
83 notes · View notes
altschmerzes · 9 months
Text
it's just that sometimes you're so... impossibly happy and full of so much incredible joy that you gotta post about it on the internet otherwise you may get on the roof with a bullhorn yknow.
31 notes · View notes
neyafromfrance95 · 22 hours
Text
as much as i want galadriel to stay with sauron, willingly or unwillingly, i do have reasons to believe that they won't go there, after all. let's talk about it so that we don't come out of s2 finale too bitter.
other than them saying that sau/gal dynamic is going to be central throughout all seasons, what gives me hope is that they have said sauron "groping" for galadriel was an inspiration for s/g relationship in the show (and i think of the story itself). it means that the creators are aware of the same thing we know - in order for trop to make sense in regards to lotr, sauron has to still covet galadriel at the end of s5, and galadriel still has to struggle with his temptations. so their push and pull has to continue till the end.
now, i think unlike the lorebros, the show isn't in a hurry to introduce celeborn (and if he is introduced, he is gonna be like molly from hannibal, lol) and a lot of timelines are going to change for convenience so that 8ep format is more or less neat for the gen audiences. i think this is an opportunity for them to re-establish the mind-palace. still not sure if they are intending to, but how else is sau going to grope to see gal's mind if they aren't in a close proximity? and also, how else is galadriel going to struggle with the darkness (bc again, even without succumbing, it wouldn't make sense narratively for her struggle to end yet)? how else is she going to become a powerful elf-witch and what of the dark!galadriel from the 3rd age? even more importantly, while she isn't even close to admitting to her greatest desires rn, she does in the 3rd age. so we need this development.
ofc sauron "stealing" galadriel like morgoth stole silmarils would create a perfect parallel, and give the writers an opportunity to explore a very interesting circumstance, to actually bring galadriel as close to the darkness as possible without making her fall into it. but i doubt the execs would allow that to unfold so literally. the star wars and marvel formula is still policing our mainstream media, after all.
doesn't mean that the finale is going to be bad for us shippers. it might be confirmed more clearly (for those who need it) that sauron indeed loves galadriel, and that galadriel has feelings for him too. i personally love the whole one-sided pursuit of marriage + one-sided hunt for slaying slow burn of an unresolved tension, it's the most lover/enemies dynamic of them all, after all! makes haladriel into a fantasy au hannigram, haha.
36 notes · View notes
magentagalaxies · 4 months
Text
vent incoming:
got my grades back for my courses last semester and most of it was to be expected, mostly A's, maybe an A-, etc. but i honestly can't get over the fact that my independent study (the buddy cole documentary) was for some reason given a B. like sure getting a B isn't bad per se, I usually get at least one B every semester and i honestly don't really care about what my exact gpa is as long as i can graduate, but come on. this school put me through months of psychological torment over this project and didn't even have the nerve to give me a B+??? i'm still coping with the self-doubt they forced on me and this bullshit is not helping!!
#honestly it's kind of hilarious ngl. especially bc i also got my documentary work counted as an independent study the previous semester#and the previous semester even tho i barely worked on the doc itself#(mostly just planning and putting together the crowdfunding which was still a lot of work but like compare it to the past few months)#they were willing to give me an A (my school doesn't do A+ so this is the highest mark possible)#vs this semester. like i'll admit my final assignment was late and could have been more polished#but i was literally on tour in documentary-mode 24/7 for several weeks. i filmed an entire comedy special! i put together a live interview!#not to mention having to fucking negotiate with my own college censoring the footage they'd promised me of an event i put together#and play nice with a professor who literally outed me on twitter in an attempt to cancel one of my best friends#at this point the ''B'' feels more like a petty grudge than anything else#like ok we can't get away with *actually* fucking over jessamine's grades bc clearly ze did do the work. but let's just give zir a B#like i will admit the audio quality in my final isn't great. and i could have used more polished footage in some sections#but counterpoint: 100+ students were arrested at a protest while i was editing and i was having a mental breakdown#the fact that i finished *anything* is goddamn impressive especially after they essentially conditioned me to hate myself any time i was#working on a project i loved!!!#due to the aforementioned student arrests my college did put out an option where we could change any letter grade this semester to pass/fai#so anything passing wouldn't impact our gpa if we didn't want it to. so i could just change the B to a ''pass''#but really what's the point. ''B'' is still a good grade and my GPA is fine (3.65 on a 4.0 grading scale. 2.0 is required to graduate)#it just sucks that after what i went through last semester i feel like nobody takes it seriously#i was reminiscing earlier about how it's honestly kind of funny how after that professor outed me on twitter#i was at the hotel with scott like an hour later sobbing and having an existential crisis about my relationship to gender#and scott was so supportive but also awkwardly being like#''i know i should offer the crying child a tissue but where the fuck are the tissues in this room what do i do''#and he just handed me a full-on towel instead like oh my god he was trying his best but also so clearly out of his depth#but of course i then had to remember how when i told that story to a different professor to be like ''this is how much scott cares about me#this guy called me fucking UNPROFESSIONAL for crying in front of the subject of my documentary?????????#like yeah maybe so but how DARE you call me unprofessional when a different professor tweeted my full name and gender without my consent#in an attempt to fucking cancel one of my friends for ''misgendering'' me for using pronouns i'm fine with him using!!!#i don't think i'm ever going to be able to forgive my college and i don't know how i'll be able to get through one more semester#that experience genuinely changed things about my psychology that i'm not proud of and i need to work through#so if i have to miss a goddamn kids in the hall event because i have class this november i am going to set something on fire
9 notes · View notes
featherymainffins · 5 months
Text
Now this might be because I have issues but is it just me or does Slay The Princess feel like an allegory for a relationship?
#like i dont even mean the actual textual stuff like the two gods loving each other i mean like#while the narrator himself does say that he is not the protagonist at all the voices do in fact count him as one of them and#both the narrator and the voices are described as shattered glass pieces on the floor#and im saying that just to contextualise what im about to say because i feel like the narrator is an echo of someone who was in#a relationship with another person and is trying to 'slay' the memory of this person and defeat death not only literally but#on a metaphorical level (as in the death of a relationship). if you do slay her you destroy her memory and in that way you do not know her#at all nor do you care to#and the routes would be the perspectives held by different parts of you. shes literally a being that changes based on who perceives her#but metaphorically thats just how people work isnt it? relationships are complicated and there is a part of you who sees someone as a razor#and there is a part of you who sees them as a damsel and another who sees them as a god etc etc#its like youre a person who is trying to make sense of the situation and; which is why the construct of the princess is made up of#several vessels called perspectives. you understand the whole of what you think only when you take apart all your perspectives;#and theres a you who isnt you anymore who doesnt want to do this. hes telling you to just destroy it. it was wholly wretched and wholly bad#and it changed which is a crime in itself. theres an echo of you. and theres you; built by this echo because thats how the self works#we are each our own god and we build ourselves. the different voices are like different parts of you#much like the vessels are the equivalent of the voices. theyre the finite confined perspectives; aspects of a whole person#and slaying her in this context would obviously mean literally just destroying the memory and deciding that change and all it brings#is an awful thing. though im not yet sure what the difference between leaving with the whole and between separating yourself#and leaving with just an aspect would be.#thats probably like the only thing thats kinda ruining this interpretation lol#oh and obviously a lot of the routes have like very strong relationship symbolism. specifically a lot of them feel like#scenes from a relationship that is falling apart. for example in the adversary and then the fury when you run away the dialogue#basically mimics a partner running away from a conflict and the other one destroying themselves because of it#witch and the thorn are both heavily Esop-coded and the text itself says that its about two people hurting each other even though they love#each other but both are afraid of the other one and of being vulnerable. thorn is about finding forgiveness in one another#and deciding to be better and love each other despite the hurt youve caused each other due to your problems#etc etc#like am i insane am i mental am i projecting?
7 notes · View notes
turtlemagnum · 3 months
Text
when i was younger and hung out around my uncle a lot more than i do now, i remember whenever he referred to things regarding his native heritage, he always just called it "indian". called himself an indian, called the words he taught us indian, so on. since i was a little kid who didn't know any better, i didn't know that "indian" in the context of indigenous americans was a very broad, frankly bastardized term to paint a vast variety of cultures spanning two whole damn continents with one brush. it only occurred to me as i got much older than i was at the time that there'd be more than one "indian" language, and up until now since i had no idea what tribe(s) he even is i couldn't even begin to know where to look unless i found a download of every goddamn interlingual dictionary available and painstakingly checked every godddamn one for what their word for "thunder" is
the word he taught us meant thunder was hiloha. i didn't even know how to spell it until now, because he only ever said it aloud. literally just a few minutes ago, i decided to ask my grandma (his sister) if we knew what tribe(s) he belonged to. and apparently he's a mix of choctaw and makah. which gave me a lead, which led to me finding a dictionary on libgen, which led to me word searching "thunder" in the choctaw to english dictionary. it's the only word i remember him teaching us, and i'm unsure if he ever tried teaching us others. but it was his dogs name, and he was a damn good boy, so i remembered it clear as day. though, they normally shortened it to "hilo".
so, i guess what came out of this is that i now know a bit more about my uncle's heritage, and where to look for more research. so, if you're gonna have a takeaway from this, i'd appreciate it if you remembered the word "hiloha". it means thunder. and aside from being the name of a very good boy who deserves to be remembered, i think it's even more important to remember the histories, cultures, and of course the languages of all the indigenous folks who came before us and did their damndest to preserve their cultures in spite of it all.
#honestly a bit unsure if he was just simplifying it all down for us little idiot kids or not#regardless i think it's an important memory to keep alive#writing this up got me thinking about my time spent over at his place when i was real young. we spent a thanksgiving or two over there#both him and his wife were alcoholics at the time. she probably still is but she's been out of their lives for a while#i remember huddling in the corner with my cousin and my mom while they both fought. i distinctly remember her slapping him over the head#with a TV remote. not a very happy thanksgiving that one#it occurred to me while remembering this that there's definitely some kind of bitter irony to a white woman abusing a native man and his so#on thanksgiving. not even mentioning just a (mostly) native family having a bad thanksgiving in general. a bitter memory all around#god she was a cunt. talked shit about welfare queens and people on food stamps while me and my mom bought her food with our food stamps#claimed to be a vegetarian because how much she loved animals but still regularly ate bacon#i definitely don't remember my uncle being perfect in that relationship but i also definitely remember her being far worse#i'm almost certain it was mutual abuse but there's definitely a reason why my uncle's still in my cousin's life and mother isn't#aside from the fact that she did in fact abandon them and start a new family#as far as i know my uncle's recovered from his alcoholism and she hasn't. which itself wouldn't be a sin if she wasn't also naturally just#nasty piece of vaguely human looking garbage even without the alcohol#the way i understand it alcohol usually doesn't change who a person is at their core. it just amplifies who they already are#my grandpa's a very loving man and while i've never seen him get outright drunk i'm told he's very sweet and cuddly#saying this feels like a bit of a blanket statement but i definitely feel like for the most part if someone is an abusive piece of shit#while drunk they're also a lot more likely to be an abusive piece of shit sober#i've heard that some people are sweet and kind sober and turn nasty when drunk. i've never seen that firsthand but i'm sure it's entirely#possible. i can't speak whether it actually reveals who they really are or what. i'm not a psychologist#im rambling. oh well!#i'm glad that my cousin and uncle seem to be in a better place now. got their shit together#that's what matters
4 notes · View notes
Text
"if you think that kryptos was from flatland and you believe bill genuinely cared about him, meaning he had some fort of actual human connection to another flatlander, why did bill still end up destroying the place? wouldn't kryptos trying to stop him have either made him reconsider his actions, or made him get rid of kryptos entirely?" well you see when bill was burning flatland, kryptos was whooping and hollering and breaking out the champagne
#imo on paper bill and kryptos have the healthiest relationship bill has ever had-- hell off paper too#BUT it's really just because kryptos has like nearly alway agreed with bill's decision making except for small bickery things#that really don't matter#YEAH kryptos has some weird bad upsetting feelings about the second dimension being destroyed but it's very much a#'oh wait the catharsis is wearing off' thing#while it was happening? the minute he realized what was going on he was all for it#bill isn't even inhernetly trying to manipulate andy this is truly just their Dynamic. which is unhealthy in itself but! not intentionally#andy is so lost in the 'bill is the best person i know and he's always right' sauce that he genuinely doesn't want ot argue with bill#he just assumes bill is correct and right and any weird feelings he ever has are just flukes#meanwhile bill just would not know how to react if andy suddenly started disagreeing with him on anything serious#like??? this is andy. andy's smart he knows what's up why is he suddenly being Stupid#he would not handle it well but also he'll never have to because they're so weirdly codependent at this point that this is just the Dynamic#and it's not flat out abusive like every other dynamic in bill's life but man. Man.#'i was eight years old before anyone was ever really nice to me and actually wanted to be my friend and now eons later we're#just enmeshed but we do genuinely care about each other and it's the closest thing to healthy that we know so we don't think we have to#change anything about our dynamic'
11 notes · View notes
angorwhosebabyisthis · 7 months
Text
realized ricky is not only canonically polyam, but rep for polyam survivors who are abused for being poly, and i am having a lot of feelings about that which i plan to write up a post about but also wow in hindsight it put some shit from an abusive ex-friend into perspective.
#whosebaby talks#SDMItag#abuse cw#polyphobia cw#there is just. still a lot that i am unpacking about how deeply abusive her muses were in ~healthy relationships~ with mine#which was really fucked up to put me through by itself but was also *deeply* telling about our friendship in general#a major aspect being how she constantly went back and forth between being very clear that she was repulsed and disgusted by my queerness#and pretending she never said that; while playing olympic-level gymnastics for any possible bullshit alternate explanation she could find#and i'm just like. in hindsight it has become deeply cathartic to write/engage with stories where the polyphobic abuser#is openly and intentionally and maliciously abusive; and framed as such#after the relentless gaslighting and queerphobia of ~healthy OTP relationship~ where a poly muse i had put a lot of myself into#brought up the subject of whether his partner would be alright with him pursuing a relationship over feelings he was Just Starting to Have#and wanted to get ahead of things and ask the moment it became relevant; specifically because he knew the partner had jealousy issues#and the poly person Absolutely Fucking Daring to Have Even the Beginnings of a Crush at All Without His Permission#sent the partner into a massive wailing nauseous spiraling self-harming world-ending inconsolable breakdown#and going practically catatonic with jealousy and ~pain and betrayal~#and the ~healthy resolution~ was the poly muse apologizing profusely for it; comforting him; and promising it would never ever happen again#'he has BPD and jealousy issues and it hurts him sooooo so bad 🥺' i hope otto cheats on him with ten people and then dumps his ass#BPD doesn't make you abusive or polyphobic even if you're mono#and it's so fucking gross that her non-BPD-having ass used pwBPD as an excuse for passionately hating poly people#but yeah there was just. so so much more horrible shit along those lines just In General with those characters alone#and it was constantly dressed up in a veneer of ~healthy relationships uwu~ and in hindsight that's another reason#i have such an extremely strong reaction to 'no see this dynamic is good and home-grown organic wholesome and healthy uwu'#'[most abusive/bigoted/etc shit you have ever seen in your life]'#and why it is honestly such a fucking relief to be able to engage with a dynamic where the abuse is mask-off and openly Intended to Harm#just call me a slur and get it over with etc#anyway it's just. a Lot.#that person was a fucking nightmare and writing with them was a fucking nightmare#last i heard they were part of that fandom's resident anti crowd and mocking/harassing disabled people for dietary limitations lol#and i'm glad they're out of my life and that apparently i've got enough distance from them to be comfortable processing it through fiction
2 notes · View notes