#they are hiring right now… like NO WAIT

[cottonlemonade]

Atsumu’s New Girlfriend

word count: 656 || avg. reading time: 2 mins.

pairing: post-time skip!Atsumu x chubby!Reader (feat. MSBY)

genre: fluff, crack, established relationship

warnings: spoilers

synopsis: Atsumu’s team doubts your existence

It wasn’t news to anyone that Atsumu came to work with a superior smirk and a not-so-humble brag on his lips but recently it seemed to have increased exponentially. Without much, or really any, resistance, he happily told his teammates that he went and got himself a girlfriend and would not stop talking about how great you were. From all the stories his friends had heard by now you were stunning, smart, beautiful, kind, gorgeous, got along great with his mom, and laughed at all his jokes. That alone gave them all reason to believe that you were entirely made up.

But one day they went to talk with their PR manager, going over contracts for a new brand deal and as they waited for the elevator Atsumu suddenly pointed to a framed newspaper article and called, “Hey! That’s my girlfriend!”

Curious despite their better judgment, the team crowded around the article and studied the group photo at the top. Sakusa didn’t waste any time and pointed to a trash can that was somewhat off in the background. “That one?”

He easily dodged the slap on the shoulder that would have earned him.

Atsumu grumbled something under his breath and then put his finger to the glass again, pointing to a young woman on the left, dressed in an immaculately tailored pantsuit that sat perfectly on your curves, a confident smile on your face. Underneath the picture, it listed the names and professions of the five people.

“Lawyer?!”, the others called in unison.

With the smuggest grin anyone had ever worn, Atsumu crossed his arms and nodded.

“Do you know what a lawyer is?”, Sakusa asked with a brow raised in doubt, “Can you even spell it?”

“Hey!”

“Just because you hired her and see her regularly, doesn’t make her your girlfriend.”, Meian added carefully.

“I didn’t hire her. I just talked to her.”,

Sakusa didn’t buy it. “You talked to her? With words? And she liked you?”

“Uh huh, just talked to her like normal.” The setter shrugged.

“Yeah, but you opening your mouth is usually where it ends.”, Bokuto said sheepishly.

“Maybe she isn’t normal either.”, Sakusa muttered.

“I’m gonna prove it to ya!”, Atsumu called, a very prominent blush on his face, “She is at my place right now waiting for me. Let’s all go there!”

“Honey, I’m hooome!”, Atsumu called as soon as he pushed open the front door. He immediately regretted it because he had never done that before but when there was no reply, Hinata, Bokuto, and Sakusa looked at him with pity. The rest of the team, not wanting to add to his probable humiliation, decided to leave it to his friends to tease him.

“She must be in the kitchen and can’t hear. She likes to listen to music.”, Atsumu explained as he kicked off his shoes, in a tone that sounded as if listening to music while cooking was somehow the quirkiest thing ever.

And truly, now that he said it, faint music was heard, coming from a room at the far end of the entryway. Atsumu half jogged, half slid with his socks on the wooden floor, and opened the door in question. The others followed.

There you were, in an untucked blouse over pinstripe dress pants with a makeshift apron - a dish towel tucked into the collar - offering a (loud and) highly emotional rendition of the Spirit soundtrack as you stirred something that smelled absolutely heavenly on the stove. The three guests let out a long “Ohhhhh” in understanding, then continued to watch for a few stunned moments, before Atsumu broke from the group.

“Hey babe.”, he purred and shuffled over to hug and kiss you Hello.

You wiped the tears the song had brought to your eyes away and looked past him to his friends, not a singular ounce of embarrassment on your face, you said, “I definitely didn’t make enough for all y’all.”

art: @_hermoon on Twitter

a/n: Just something silly. Also, Spirit is a phenomenal movie and never fails to make me cry!

brainstorm powered by @haikyu-mp4

[draw-ren-draw]

Avantris Comic Scripts #3 Often when I get ideas for comics, I break my panels into scripts first. These are less prose-y than fics but still contain dialogue and basic interactions. This is a jokey followup from the concept of my last one, be sure you're up to ep:56 to avoid spoilers!

Shaky Origins (spoilers up to ep: 56!) [A snippet exploring how Torbek may have met Carnival Lecroux based on my favorite theory: that The Duke/Gorebek is the original inhabitant of their shared body and it is Torbek who came second. A lot can happen to an cursed amnesiac. Especially around Carnival LeCroux.] * * * * *

It's a pleasant sunny day near Carnival LeCroux where a Bugbear stumbles out of the brush, blood on his hands, matted fur, drink on his lips and not a single thought in his head. In his claws he tightly grips a piece of torn parchment with chunks of it missing. He squints at it, willing the foreign characters to make sense. He can't remember a thing! Where is he? How did he get here? Who... is he?? He feels like he should be able to read this but the letters don't quite look right. They dance in front of his eyes as he desperately tries to pick out any of them. He points at each in turn, sounding them out. They almost seem to say something like… "Torr... Bek?" He murmurs it again and stares deeply at the writing. Parchment taking up all of his focus, he wanders forward into the carnival proper.

???" You there? You one of mine?"

The bugbear holds the paper, paralyzed as he tries to form one coherent thought, but all that comes out is the last thing he read. "T-T-orbek…?"

Kremy grimaces, smelling the boozy breathe on the bugbear, almost regretting his choice to interact with them at all. Kremy: "Ooh, you reek. You must be one of mine. Listen, what did you say, 'Torbek?' That your name? Whatever, look Turkbek just go use those long arms of yours and get those patrons down." With a wave of his staff, he gestures to the oval-shaped legally distinct 'herris' wheel that has clearly broken down full of riders. Kremy: "Drink break is over." Utterly stunned and still unable to get a grip on reality, the bugbear can do nothing but follow the alligator ushering him toward the broken down ride.

It doesn't take the bugbear long to fulfill the order and he tries again to collect himself as he stands amid the bustling carnival, confused once more. A Tabaxi comes jogging up Frost: "You, you're.. Torbek, was it?" The Tabaxi squints at something he has written on papers.

"Torbek.." the bugbear shakes, wide eyed, trying to cling to the one rational thought he can. So much is happening--!! Frost: "..Right, listen, Kremy just needs you to fill out these forms, I don't care if you don't have a resume, but all the new hires need to." Frost shoves the papers into his hands, continuing to hurry to the next pressing task in his clearly full day. He points one last time before he departs. Frost "Come turn them in later-!"

Hand now full of employment pages, 'Torbek' stumbles, starting to wander again. Who are all these people?? This paper says his name is Torbek, so is that his-- He walks past a goblin, who is manning a small stall. Gricko: "Oh hey! Kremy Finally hired another goblinoid! That's nice, always been waiting for that. Anyway it's me lunch break, gotta get a goblin surf n' turf if you know what I mean, ohhh I'll catch ya later!" He laughs, clapping Torbek on the back and shooting finger guns Gricko: "Thanks buddy!" Left alone at the stall, the bugbear sits down, ignoring everything but the papers in front of him. Undeterred his customers just help themselves to his game. He checks the paper again. It has Torbek on it. Is that his name? It must be, everyone else seems convinced of it! He takes a deep breathe, confirming it for himself with a nod. "…Torbek i-is. Torbek." ???: "Torbek huh? I've heard of weirder" He looks across his stall to see a tent of clowns, Chuckles shoots the bugbear a knowing look and gestures at the state of him. Chuckles: "More like 'Torn-bek', in more ways than one! Ah-hoho-hah! HEHhhheh... workshop it…" The Clown mumbles, stopping to write something down. Gideon enters from the right, we hear him before we even see him "Man, I hate walking past the clowns." Gideon: "Hey turkey or whatever!" The Bugbear jerks in place. "Come on, Kremy needs ya." With a groan, 'Torbek' follows obediently. It seems his day is not going to get any easier... * * The camera pans out * * From afar, a figure watches the once proud and ruthless Duke of Iron and Glass meandering around some shitty carnival like an absolute fool. Something had gone very wrong, or very, very right.

Bonus joke panel of Gid and Krem 'ironically' shacked up, chilling after hours: Kremy: I don't know how you pick em gid but at least you got a new hire this time. Gideon: [Internally] Huh did he? He must have, he was just that awesome.

[cartoon-skeleton]

Hometown library blease hire me when I graduate. I’m your guy. I bromise

[mallevsmaleficarum]

alright, since all important faculty members are evil, maybe augefort is the bbeg for senior year

[softquietsteadylove]

It’s time to read more about tomb raider! Let them meet again after the almost drowning incident and let there be teamwork fighting against a group of treasure hunters! :D

"Will you stop?!"

Thena - surprisingly - stopped squirming behind his back against her own binds. Her chair stopped rattling against the floor as she stilled. She huffed. "I'm sorry, were you trying to get some sleep?"

He joined her in her frustration. "I just mean conserve your energy. We don't even know how long we've been down here, let alone how much longer we have ahead."

She went quiet, and he was quite sure he was more uncomfortable with it than she was. Thena spoke two languages: yelling, and sass. He was unfamiliar with any quieter sides of hers.

"I'm sorry."

The simple words gave him chills. He whipped his head around but all it did was hurt his neck, and he couldn't even get a glimpse of her anyway. "What?"

"They followed us all the way out here and I had no idea."

"I didn't either," he interjected.

"I was the one who came up with the plans. The next time they come down here, I'll tell them I can guide them, but only if they release you." Now she was really talking crazy.

"What the hell are you talking about?" he grumbled, now starting the game of fruitlessly tugging at his binds again. "You think I'm going anywhere without you?"

"We may not be afforded another option," she bit back, also turning her head. He could feel her ponytail against the back of his neck. "If at least one of us makes it out, there's a chance of escape."

"There's no way you believe that if you cooperate they won't hurt you," he snorted.

"I didn't say I believed that."

He jerked his shoulders, attempting to get a look at her again. The backs of their chairs clanged together, although they were still technically bolted to the floor. What little movement they did get on them was from the general state of the ship's disrepair. "Don't be stupid, Thena."

She didn't even have a scathing retort about him assuming such a thing about her Ladyship.

"Once they come back, we'll reason our way through this." Sure, he didn't totally believe what he was saying either. But it was a better solution than Thena giving herself up as a bargaining chip for his life. "All they want is the bounty, right? Your plans were solid, and I doubt any of them can dive for as long as you can. We'll-"

"Gil."

She was right, there were few options they had which might lead to their escape. They knew the risks, running in the circles they did. There was always a risk.

"You have connections on the mainland," she continued to talk him through things like she was coaching him. "Tell them that they can collect your bounty if they return with you."

Rather then killing them both and leaving them somewhere.

"And what about you?" he just barely dared to ask.

She took a damn long time to answer, twisting his gut all the way around itself. "Karun and Druig always know the risks of our field. They have instructions should I fail to return one day."

Gil scoffed loudly, rolled his eyes, shook his head--all of it. Anything to convey to her just how ridiculous this was. "I am not going to just leave you here, let alone with those-"

"Gil-"

"They slapped you, Thena," he reiterated, since that didn't seem to matter to her as much as it did to him. "They backhanded you across the face. I'm not exactly counting on them to uphold a gentlemanly agreement."

He leaned forward, pulling at the legs of the chair, still bolted to the floor by a couple of rattling brackets.

"It wasn't how I saw our collaborative efforts ending," she tried putting on a lighter tone, as if that would distract him from the gravity of all this. "But I must admit, we make a good team, Gilgamesh."

He huffed, leaning as forward as he could, "don't 'Gilgamesh' me."

"Could we not spend what might be our last time together arguing?"

He paused in his efforts, partly to catch his breath, and partly to twist his neck again. "I thought you loved arguing."

"I love anything at which I can win."

Well, there was the Thena he knew and tolerated.

Her tone changed again, and he felt her hands move from being tightly balled up fists. Her fingers fluttered around, as if searching for his. "But arguing with you was always a byproduct of the job. Your company from the same side is far preferable."

If he didn't know better, he could think she was admitting to some fondness for him. But he did know better, and beyond that, this was not going to be the pre-burial-at-sea confession she thought it was.

"Who said you could talk?!"

The door slammed against the back wall. All the hinges in this place were falling apart. The men filtered into the room, fully armed and just as dark in expression as when they had found them.

Thena glared at them of course. "You didn't gag us. I don't see how you expected us to remain silent."

"Silence might do you some good." The same one who had struck her before raised his hand again, just barely in Gil's periphery.

He jerked in his chair, "don't touch her!"

They all laughed at his noble effort to protect her. The hand changed from an open palm to grasp her chin instead. She jerked back like a caged animal, but he grabbed harder. "Is she your pretty little treasure?"

Thena practically growled at them even with her cheeks smushed.

"That's all you want, right--the artifact we got sent here to find?" he clarified, doing everything but snapping his neck right off his shoulders to try and see what they were doing. "I'll take you, but only if she's unharmed."

"Relax, big guy," another one instructed, even slapping the grabby one's hand away from Thena's face. "The bounty from the artifact is only half of it. There's also the matter of you two."

Thena must have made a face, because they glared at her again. "We have no insurance policies on us, if that's what you're after."

"Not at all, girlie," he chuckled at her. "The museum will pay his ransom, surely. And as for you...you're sitting on an old family estate, aren't you? That will do nicely."

Gil was desperately trying to think of something but if anything, Thena relaxed. He kept his mouth shut though; they hadn't mentioned Druig or Karun, which meant they didn't know about them. They hadn't done reconnaissance on them or anything, they just happened to be their lucky catch of the day.

"You're right, you will guide us to the artifact." The men began gravitating towards the door again, one with his hand already on it. "And when we have it in our possession, then you'll make the ransom call for us."

The grabby one rattled the handle in his grasp. "We might have to rough her up some, just to make it believable."

Gil launched forward. The chair came clean off the floor as he cried out in his rage. He hunched forward, swinging the legs around as a line of defense. He turned, charging at their captors.

His shoulder jabbed into the most dominant one, crushing him against the handle of the door and doing some good damage to his back. He slumped down. He turned as fast as he could, using the legs of the chair to do some damage to the other two.

The grabby one grunted as he got hit in the gut. Gil positioned himself better, throwing himself back and ramming the legs into his shoulders. He screamed at the top of his lungs but Gil did little more than grimace. "Relax, it's not like I stabbed you."

He tried to get a sound out, but the wind had been knocked out of him. Gil looked down at him, holding out at a hand as if to plead for something. Unfortunately for him, that was the hand he'd used to slap Thena, and Gil wasn't feeling particularly forgiving.

Thena winced as he rammed the chair leg into his open mouth. "I never took you for the sadistic type."

But he didn't have a witty retort for her. He knelt down, feeling around the mess of bodies for a knife. "I'm tired of him yapping."

Thena sighed as stood again. "I suppose it's a better option for us. We still don't know how many of them are out there."

"Let's not be tied up when we find out," he groused. He walked back around her. "Got it?"

She did have it, grasping the knife firmly, passed from his hands to hers behind their backs. "You seem confident I won't slice anything essential"

"Like you say, we may not have a better option," he conceded. He strained the ropes tired around him, pulling as Thena attempted to pressure the blade against them. It wasn't a great angle, or a serrated blade. But he continued to pull as she worked, eventually pulling them apart before she could slice through the middle.

The knife clattered to the floor between them.

"Okay," he sighed as he finally pulled his arms around to his front again. They hurt, and usually it would be more ideal to move them slowly. But he swung them around, desperately needing their full range of motion sooner than later. "I've got you."

He worked at Thena's ropes more gently. They were tied tight, but he could see the red irritation in her pale skin more. "Do you know how far out we were when they found us?"

Her ropes snapped apart, and he immediately grasped her shoulders, rolling them forward for her slowly and gently.

"Well, someone was hogging the radar," he commented, and was rewarded with her turning in the seat, skipping over examining her wrists in favor of glaring at him. He grinned, "but I know the jetski you used to get to the boat is still being towed. If we can get to a railing, we can definitely swim under the ship and get to it in time to get outta here."

It wasn't his most risk-free plan, but they both knew the risks--had just gone over them, in fact.

Thena nodded, rubbing her wrists but wearing the usually determined expression he had come to expect. "Lead the way, then."

He planned on it, and not out of some need to protect her or anything. It just made good sense.

They hugged the walls all the way up. He really didn't know how many of them were on board, but he dreaded to think about the possibilities considering the expected crew for any boat this size. He looked over his shoulder and nodded his head.

Thena showed her understanding; they weren't far now.

He held out his hand. She gave him a look but he shook it at her. He wasn't going to let them get separated again. Begrudgingly, she slipped her hand into his. It was cold.

Gil looked both ways before dashing across the deck and to the railing. No life boats, of fucking course. He climbed over the railing while Thena crouched between the top and middle bar. He looked at her. "Ready?"

She didn't reply, but she let her hand give his a squeeze.

"Don't let go." He didn't know why he said it. There was no need, but he held her hand, getting ready to free dive into the water and potentially be chased down like wild animals.

"I won't." That was much more assuring than anything she could have said about them making it. She looked ahead, resuming her usual role of being the one to pull him along.

And despite their rivalry, he would follow her anywhere.

[carcarrot]

well that was a shortlived good feeling about my job

[vaguely-concerned]

I haven't decided what faction I want my character to be from in veilguard yet, I Need More Information before I can definitively make a call. but I must admit the siren song of rocking fifth house style disturbingly no-nonsense chill in the face of horror swag with the mourn watch is very loud and potent. speakers to the dead (and the dead are savage) vibes are so strong and so tempting

[wwillywonka]

.

[sailor-aviator]

.

[ofmd-alsaurus]

.

[rupertholmes]

resisting the urge to buy weights rn. i need to go bear mode.

[pallases]

submitted my first app 😖

[princessmyriad]

Hate the concept of "business days" for online services. What the fuck do you mean my payment will be processed in 3-5 business days its a fucking program that does it?? The bot needs weekends too now?? Fuck off

[m-e-w-666]

got so pissed at work it overrided my depression and went straight to spite murder stab kill kill die mode. like i’m so fucking mad but at least i’m not big sad anymore. a win is a win

[modernmutiny]

Days like this remind me of that one saying: you're not paranoid if you're right

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

wait, Derin how did your leaving make the hospital shut down?

I used to work as a live-in nanny for a pediatrician.

Now, the thing about hospitals in my country is that they are massively understaffed and massively underfunded. This is especially true outside the major cities. The staff are worked to the bone and receive little to no help in things like finding accommodation or childcare, making working in rural areas a very uninviting prospect; staff come out here, get lumped with the work of three people (because there's nobody else to do it), burn out under the workload and leave, meaning that those remaining have even more work because that person is gone. It's unsustainable and the medical staff are doing their best to sustain it, because people die if they don't, so to the higher-ups it looks like everything's getting done and therefore everything is fine.

My friend (and boss) worked one week on, one week off, swapping out with another pediatrician. This was necessary because it would not be physically possible for one person to handle the workload for longer periods of time. The one single pediatrician had to hold up the entire pediatrics ward, which was not only the only public hospital pediatrics ward in our town, but also the one that served all the towns around us for a few hours' drive in all directions. I regularly saw her go to work sick, aching, tired, or with a debilitating 'I can barely make words or see' level migraine, because if she took a day off, twenty children didn't get healthcare that day, and some of these kids' appointments were scheduled weeks in advance. She'd work long hours in the day and then be called in a couple of times overnight for an hour or two at a time (she was on-call at night too, because somebody had to be), and then go in the next day. Sometimes she would be forced to take a day off because she physically could not stay awake for longer than a few minutes at a time, meaning she couldn't drive to work.

Cue my niece's second birthday coming up in Melbourne. I'd been working for her for about 3 years, and she (and the hospital) had plenty of advance warning that I (and therefore she) needed one (1) Friday off. That's fine, we'll find someone to work that Friday, the hospital said. Right up until the last week where they're like "oh, we can't find a replacement; you can come in, can't you?"

No, she tells them; I don't have anyone to watch my kid that day.

Oh, surely you can hire a babysitter for this one day, they say. Think of the children! We really really need you to work that day. I know we said it'd be fine but we need you now, there's no one else to do it.

There are no other babysitters, she told them. Unless you can find one?

That's not our responsibility, they said.

But I'm not changing my plans, she's got plans by now as well, the hospital knew about this one day weeks in advance, and with absolutely no reserve staff they're forced to reschedule all pediatrics appointments for that Friday. Not a huge deal, it happens on the 'physically too overworked to get out of bed' days too. I go to Melbourne, she goes back to her home in Adelaide for her recovery week, all should be on track.

My niece gives me Covid.

This was way back in the first wave of the pandemic, and there were no Covid vaccines yet. The rules were isolate, mask up, hope. I had Covid in the house, and it would've been madness for my friend and her toddler to come back into the Covid house instead of staying in Adelaide. There was absolutely no way that a pediatrician could live with someone in quarantine due to Covid and go to work in the hospital with sick children every day. And no support existed for finding another babysitter, or temporary accommodation, so the hospital was down a pediatrician.

The other pediatrician wasn't available to do a three-week stint. They were also trapped in Adelaide on their well-earned week off.

Meaning that the only major pediatrics ward within a several-hour radius had no pediatricians. They had to shut down and send all urgent cases to Adelaide for the week. To the complete absence of surprise of any of the doctors or nurses; of course this would happen, this was bound to happen, it presumably keeps happening. But probably to the surprise of the higher-ups. After all, the hospital was doing fine, right? Of course all the staff were complaining of overwork and a lack of resources in every meeting, but they could always be fobbed off with the promise of more help sometime in the future; the work was mostly getting done, so the issue couldn't be too urgent.

It's not like some nanny who doesn't even work for the hospital could go out of town for a weekend for the first time in three years, and get the only public pediatrics ward in the area shut down for a week.