#they blotted out everything else in the story so I dont have to think about anything else thank you Ougi finally I’m free

[hellsvestibule]

There are monogatari characters who are hard hitting and make me cry and are my favs because they earned it by having a good character and in some capacity Ougi is this but in many capacities, it’s just cuz Oshino Ougi is Oshino Ougi

[despairofthefuture]

She may be looking for Sonia Nevermind, the Ultimate Princess, or Gundham Tanaka, the Ultimate Breeder. They're both into dark occult stuff. They're also in the same class as Chiaki and Ryota. I think they're pretty close friends, so if you find one you'll probably find the other not far off.

"Princess!?" Hiro repeats, his eyes widening. "There's a princess at this school!?"

"As amazingly cool as that is-" Leon says, trying to bring them back on topic. "-this Gundham dude....Why would a...breeder know about occult bullshit?"

"The same reason a princess would?" Hiro mutters under his breath.

Chihiro furrows his brow in thought, the small boy looking very worried. "W-well, Mukuro did say it had nothing to do with his talent." He reminds them. "So perhaps it's a hobby of his?"

"Well, regardless, this is all we have to go on, and you guys havent been wrong yet!" Leon says determinedly, flashing the spirits a grin. "Since Mukuro specifically said 'he', we should check up on this Gundham weirdo first. So hurry the hell up, Hiro! Look up this Gundham guy!"

The clairvoyant nods and does as he was told, looking up a picture of Gundham Tanaka. When he finds one he stares at it in surprise. "This...this guy works with animals?" He asks, stunned.

Leon looks over his friend's shoulder and raises a brow. "Damn. Yeah, he looks more like an Ultimate Clairvoyant than you do! He obviously seems to be embracing the occult for a start!"

This earns the ghost a glare, but Hiro quickly shakes his head and returns his phone to his pocket. "Well, whatever. We know what he looks like, so let's go to his dorm."

As he begins making his way there, Chihiro frowns. "You know, the fact that Mukuro knows about this Gundham means she and Junko must have been studying him, or at the very least his class." He points out. "Which would make sense considering how much of her plan revolves around 77-B." His face saddens. "Poor guys. It's bad enough Junko put us, her classmates and friends through something like a killing game, but to basically torture a whole other class?"

"Its sick." Leon agrees, his eyes narrowed angrily. "She's sick."

Hiro simply nods in response, a frown on his face as he walks. Suddenly, he freezes in place. "Wait, what about Hajime?!" He asks. "I was supposed to meet up with him and-"

"That can wait a minute!" Leon interrupts him. "If we dont hurry and stop Mukuro, who the hell knows what could happen!"

Hiro nods in understanding, breaking out into a sprint towards the dorms, causing a brown haired boy in a Reserve Course uniform to look up and give him an annoyed look as he passed.

~~~

Hiro was thankfully able to find Gundham's room with relative ease. As he stands in front of the Ultimate Breeder's door, he hesitates.

"Dude, what's the hold up?" Leon asks impatiently.

Hiro frowns and begins picking at his skin. "Its just...the energy surrounding this room...its...really heavy and...dark..." He mutters.

Leon groans and rolls his eyes. "Oh for the love of-Hurry the hell up!" He snaps.

Hiro sighs and nods, reaching a hand up and knocking on the door.

A quiet exchange of voices could be heard along with some shuffling until the door is opened.

"Who dares disturb the Overlord of-"

The boy behind the door stops when he sees Hiro. The two lock eyes, and a wave of energy courses through the clairvoyant.

The extravagantly dressed man before Hiro stares at him for a moment more before he smirks. "Heh. I had thought the dark lady and myself were the only ones dabbling in the forbidden arts, but I can sense they run through your veins as well."

Hiro blinks in surprise at the guy's strange speech patterns. "Uh...i-if by 'forbidden arts' you mean fortune telling, then yeah!" Hiro finally responds, forcing a smile onto his face. "My names Yasuhiro Hagakure. I'm the Ultimate Clairvoyant!"

The other man lets out an impressed hum. "Clairvoncy, hm? Then have your visions sent you to my side for the aid of my dark powers?!" He suddenly poses in a strange way, and Hiro blinks in confusion.

"Uh...y-yeah. More or less. Youre... Gundham Tanaka, right?" He asks, scratching his head as he begins to regret coming here.

Gundham's smirk widens as he nods. "My reputation of course precedes me. Indeed, that is my name! GUNDHAM TANAKA!" The...eccentric fellow bellows out his name, cause Chihiro to flinch slightly.

Leon rolls his eyes. "Dear Lord this guy is gonna be annoying." He mutters.

Hiro gives a subtle nod in agreement before forcing the smile onto his face again. "Well, great! Do you, uh, mind if I come in, Gundham?'

Gundham shakes his head and steps to the side. "But of course not! A fellow user of the dark arts is always welcome in my abode!" He declares. "Although my Third Eye has failed me, for I did not forsee your visit." The breeder suddenly blushes, catching Hiro even more off guard as the man attempts to hide the flush by raising his scarf over his face. "I currently have...company over. The dark princess, Sonia Nevermind. But do not fear! I am training her to be my apprentice, so you need not hold your tongue with anything you must tell me!" He declares with finality as he turns with a flourish and walks into his room.

Hiro stands still for a moment longer, sharing an unsure look with Leon and Chihiro, before following the breeder into his room and closing the door behind him.

The dark atmosphere Hiro had felt from outside the door was tripled the moment he took a step inside, and he shivered. Gundham's room was dark, light blotting curtains hung at the windows that allowed the only light inside the room to be the many lit candles that were scattered around. There was a bookcase against one of the walls, and on it several heavy looking leather cased books.

"Well I guess we found the right guy." Leon mutters.

Hiro nods in agreement as he continues scanning the environment. His gaze stops at something that seemed out of place. A brightly colored hamster cage where four happy looking hamster were currently rested inside.

"Well, he is the Ultimate Breeder." Hiro thinks to himself. "I guess it would be more weird if there wasnt anything animal related here."

"Oh, Gundham! You have company!" A sweet, feminine voice speaks up, causing Yasuhiro to turn his head in its direction. He couldnt help but stare. There was a beautiful blonde girl, sat upon Gundham's bed.

"Indeed I do, dark mistress." Gundham confirms, coming to a stop in front of the hamster cage. He opens the lid and places some treats inside, the four critters skittering over to them and eating them hungrily. "He says his name is Yasuhiro." A grin spreads on his face as he turns from his four pets. "He is also a user of the arts."

The girl, who Hiro assumes to be Sonia Nevermind, gasps and clasps her hands together excitedly. "Really?!" She exclaims happily. "There is another one at the school?!"

"It indeed seems that way, Sonia." The breeder confirms, his gaze going to Hiro. "He says he is a clairvoyant, and that he received a vision that called him to me."

Sonia gasps and looks to Hiro as well. "Is that so? Then please! I insist you inform us of the details of your vision at once!"

For some reason Hiro felt extremely compelled to bow towards the upperclasswoman and the need to hurry with the explanation. He blinks and clears his throat, attempting to calm his nerves. "R-right. Well, it's a long...and, well, pretty unbelievable story if I'm being honest." He sighs before continuing. "But I swear to you, Buddha, Gandhi, Mother Earth or whatever deity you believe in its true.

It started when my classmate Junko Enoshima came to me, asking me to read her future...."

~~~

"...and then Mukuro mentioned someone else with knowledge of...occult stuff." Hiro finishes explaining, holding back the urge to explain his distaste for the occult. "And the spirits mentioned it could be one of you two." He looks between Sonia and Gundham, both of which look extremely surprised. "And since Mukuro said 'he' we went to your room first." He chuckles and rubs the back of his neck. "So...yeah. We wanted to make sure Mukuro's ghost...future ghost...didnt come here and find something she could use."

Gundham stares at the clairvoyant for a while, seemingly at a loss for words. Finally he clears his throat. "Well...that certainly is...quite the ordeal." The breeder recovers quickly, a grin forming on his face as he poses. "However you are in luck! I am quite skilled in this department, and while I cannot see your apparitions-" He walks over to his bookshelf and shifts through the many books before letting out a soft 'ah ha!' and pulling out a rather large one. He flips through it before placing his finger on a page. He then begins muttering something, which causes Hiro to frown and shift uncomfortably.

Gundham's eyes close, and a soft wind suddenly blows through the room, despite there being no open window. When he opens his eyes, he meets Hiro's eyes. They then shift over to Leon and Chihiro, his grin turning to a smirk.

"Ah ha! Hello there, fiends!" He looks over to see the shimmering outlines of the unknown spirits. "And to you as well."

Hiro's eyes widen in surprise. "You...you can see them?!"

"Of course!" Gundham boasts, slamming the book shut with one hand. "Did you believe these tombs were for show?!"

Hiro holds his tongue.

"Now I can be of more help to you and your miss-" He stops, his gaze slowly moving over to his bookshelf. He narrows his eyes. "....I assume this is the fiendish ghoul you mentioned."

Hiro blinks before following his gaze. His eyes widen further. There, looking through the books, was Mukuro's ghost.

Gundham Tanaka can now hear you! He is open for questions!

A/N: I hope things arent getting too crazy lol. I promise everything has a purpose! Supernatural stuff is canon in Danganronpa, and its especially important in this AU, so please bare with me lmao

[m-authuan]

10172017

had really horrible period cramps today. i was basically fading i n and out during chinese class and my teacher was so worried she asked me to leave class and get some rest. on the way home i couldn’t stand because if i did my cramps would be worse so i was mostly keeling over on the sidewalk waiting for the bus, for the walk light. it was so bad lol. i held a hot water bottle and slept till 12:30. then i went to kurama for lunch.

on the way out i talked to my mom about being a lesbian which didn’t go well, she started saying things about how being gay won’t ever be accepted because how abnormal it is, and i told her it wasn’t any gay couple’s fault, it’s the fault of society. i didn’t raise my voice to argue but at some point i started crying. she yelled at me for crying over something so stupid and silly as she called it and hung up, saying she was tired of talking to me about this and she hated how i always cried. i think i started crying because it was like she was saying i was abnormal but i don’t really think that’s it. i was crying because she always will think of gay people as an other and she will always just deny the fact that i am what i am, i love who i love. she will just blot that part of me out of her mind and pretend i’m normal.

i’m just writing this down so that i can understand why i cried. i think i know deep in my heart, neither my parents will really ever accept that i’m gay, will always hope that i was straight and normal. they will always wish that. it hurts to think about because all i ever really want is their approval of anything that i did. it’s kind of horrible that they conditioned me to do that. almost everything i do, i do for them. i put myself second.

i hate how they always jump around the fact that i might not be straight, the way they always wanted me to be. kieran told me her father was always proud of her, and her sexuality never changed that. i’m so jealous.

and my mom hanging p on me, that hurt too. because she knows i have no one to talk about this with. i love jasmine but i can’t just spill on her every time i have a minor issue. i can’t spill wanting to die to her. partly because i don’t want her to hate me, and i dont want to lose her as my best friend. i don’t want to do this to any friend i have. i like rachel but i notice she’s better at telling me her problems rather than listening to any one else’s, i cant’ tell linh because she will be unsure of what to really do with me. she will probably treat me as an other too.

i’m so lonely, and i’m so tired. i really wish i were dead almost all the time. it’s been getting worse now. the only thing i find that i love to do is sleep because at least my dreams aren’t in this reality. at least the bad dreams feel like they’re a part of a story.

i love my mother. she is so good at so many things. but the one thing she is incredibly skilled at, more than cooking or sewing or picking good movies to watch or giving me advice, is picking the exact most hurtful words in the whole world and making you feel terrible, worse than terrible. sometimes i think she can be just like my father.

i wish that this life were a dream and that i am actually dead. there is so little i look forward to in my life. so little to be excited about. the loneliness is so painful. maybe i am a lesbian because i think that i have more faith in a woman taking away this loneliness than i do a man. and other things too; i can’t trust men, i am not sexually attracted to men,, but there’s a small part of me that thinks maybe a woman could make my life better. maybe i could make that woman’s life better. but what if neither of these things happen? what if love is just empty no matter who i end up with? what if love doesn’t save me? what will?