#they dont need to have a wife in the attic tho.

[bestiarum]

WHEN will someone offer me their hand, heart, and all their earthly possessions......

[wednesdaytonight]

last sleep, the one i just had, i dreamt i was like living at my grandparents on my dad's side house like they had left it to me? or were away? it had the vibe of like when they said they were going to let me stay there to live/work and like let others move into the other rooms while i collect rent money situation that never panned out for various reasons mostly because theyre like awful people gfgdfg but i guess that spared me from playing proxy landlord tho i dont think gathering money in a building you live in is Quiet the same thing when you would gladly do the chores for people who have to leave the house! but i digress that sort of situation was happening, i had a crush on one of the people there but he was really like ugh youre annoying fuck off type of guy and then there was like, a cult living in the basement (something id dreamt about prior but last time i just found like spooky documents, killed my wife and set fire to the house, which had burnt down in the real world prior to my gparents buying and refurbishing it) and they had summoned like a Demon and stuff was going All Tits Up

i had to save people because they werent taking stuff seriously really there was one part where like idk if it was a human or if it was it was someone super brainwashed convinced another in the group to kill herself so i turn the corner into one of the narrow hallways and there are two people hanging there and i had to be like okay she has a skill i need for demon ritual stuff and pulled her off the noose just in time time the other woman still smiling was dying besides us, there were a bunch of these little death scenes all together and finally i was sealing the door but instead of the basement one it was like the one to the scary set of stairs between the upstairs living unit and the down stairs one (it was like split into two living quarters, the basement and attic space could have been converted too but again they spent their lives doing a bunch of sht to annoy people instead of tending to their house dsfghj)

finishing the task everyone was watching tv like, completely uninterested but me and my crush had become a couple during the hardships, the trails, and then in the dream, i had a dream, where my seals broke and the door opened up and the thing was trying to talk to me but even now i cant really remember what it was it was like threatening stuff like through two layers of dreams like the amount of being acknowledged and then in the dream, i woke up and it had All been a double dream itself, no one else was there but me and this guy, who in the walking world i was like ugh this fuccccking guy if i didnt need money for bills, but i felt really scared and really alarmingly drawn to him and was like hey im scared i had a nightmare can i rest with you and he was all like : / yeah sure whatever <-secretly some sort of evil wizard who had planned all that and was planning more

[tosomeonecherished]

the ‘intruder’ - a kim jongin bulletpoint scenario

okay so you’re currently doing the dishes beCAUSE YOU’RE A GOOD WIFE ™

gently might I add to keep anything from making loud noises because ya husbando had a long day and finally got his needed rest time (not beauty sleep because if that man got any more beautiful i would kamikaze myself)

despite your efforts one of the dishes makes a very loud squeak because you’re a clumsy ass

you felt bad because jongin and the boys had been working very hard to prepare for the new comeback

finally finishing all the dishes you tiptoe to your shared bedroom because you’re a fucking ninja

crawling under the cottten sheets jongin stirs a little in his sleep, turning over and encasing you in his muscular succulent arms

“sowwy if i woke you up bb”

“don’t fret, i was already awake and waiting for you bb”

“that’s very sweet bb but you shouldn’t have done that bb”

“it’s too late, just go to sleep bb”

ANYWAYS

you placed your head right where his heart was the melodic beat slowly lulling you into slumber when you realize

oh shit

i forgot to lock the door

you begin to slowly slither yourself out of jongin’s grasp like a SNAKE ™ (*cough* *cough* I’m talking about phi phi o’hara on rupauls drag race *cough* *cough* wot)

despite your groWN UP age the darks always kinda spooked you and everything downstairs looked very eerie and dark

taking a deep breath, trying to clear your head of thoughts of the spooky things

you got to mario jump over your couch but you catch you foot on the corner almost falling flat on yOUR FACE

you got laugh when you see a shadow move past your window

OH HELL TO THE NAH

you best be bookin your ass out that house and into the po po station

moving to crawl over to the opposite side of the couch to hide your body from view

your mental breakdown ensues

“it’s happening. this is it. imma die. what aboUT MY FISH!???!?!??!???”

but then your mind reaches the conclusion that it could just be a teenager returning home past curfew deciding to take a short cut through your yard

ya that’s right (y/n) you’re an adult person you got this that’s not real

you force yourself to stand up and walk over to the door to check the lock

when bitch…beFORE YOU COULD EVEN LAND A FINGER ON THE DOOR KNOB IT BEGINS TO TURN

slapping both hands over your mouth to prevent yourself from screaming the door knob kept turning but ceased to open

oh thank fuck

you locked the door

you then sonic back to your room to wake jongin beCAUSE YOU NEED HIS MUSCLES

“JONGIN!!?!? WAKE UPPPPP!????”

(you whisper yell because what if the hooligans trying to get into your house hear)

“wot, honey?”

“someone’s trying to get into the house?”

and that’s all it took to get jongin awake because he’s a good husbando and will protect you at all costs IM SOFT

he reached under his pillow and pull out this large ass box cutter hoW THE HELL

“stay here. i’ll go check it out.”

“no way josé. you might need my help.” (“whO TF IS JOSÉ” sorry wrong time for vine references)

“(Y/N), i dont want you to get hurt”

“and I dont want you to get hurt either. what if you get injured and I wasnt even there to help you out. i wouldnt be able to function properly for a while knowing i didnt do anything to help.”

jongin shut his mouth although groves you a pleading look further expressing his want to keep you there

“fine, but you stay behind me at all time. got it?”

“aye aye captain”

walking out of the bedroom the silence of the house gave you goosebumps and the strange shadows the moon was actin down surely wasnt helping

even jongin’s present didnt full put you to ease

once you guys finally reach the kitchen without any sign of the intrueder, the only sound was you and jongin’s heavy breathing and the very quiet hum of the dryer

the dryer stopped shortly after playing a tune that could only resemble the tune of an ice cream truck

usually you found it very uwu worthy but now it was just plain spoopy

*CUE OBNOXIOUS CRASH SOUND*

you and jongin both jump like 87 feet off the ground (it’s like mario and luigi up in this beach)

jongin quickly calms himself down and runs over to the kitchen window while you’re still having a tiny brain aneurism

“i think i see some movement, i’m gonna go check it out.”

“no no no no no no no no no nO NO. that’s how people always die in He movies. hey Susan you wanna check out the growling that came from the empty attic. NO FUCKING THANK YOU BARB. you is not going outside to check what kinda heathen did that.”

jongin walked towards you his thumb slowly grazing your lower lip cupping your cheek

“you are absolutely stunning.”

“NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO MAKE ME ALL MUSHY AND GUSHY JONGIN DEAR THANK YOU VERY MUCH THO FAM.”

don’t worry baby girl. you’ll be fine as long as you stay in the house. when i go outside i want you to lock the door behind me. okay? don’t worry everything’s going to be fine.”

before you could get a word in he slips out the door

“JONGIN? JONGIN?”

but alas he was already out of earshot, although reluctantly you did as he told

you slowly walk back towards the kitchen opening the fridge pulling out a bottle of wine taking a huge swig because it haS BEEN A LONG (ass ride) DAY

it was comepletey silent for what seemed like an hour when in reality it was probably only five minutes

you mind begins to run and the more worried you got the darker the scenarios seemed to unfold, you felt the waterworks coming

interrupting your thoughts a loud squeaking noise ran through the house bouncing off the walls

it sounded like an old door opening on its worn, rusty hinges

you quickly recognized it as the old back door youve been trying to get jongin to fix for the past 5 months

but just because the person got the screen door open doesn’t mean they’ll get the actual door open…unless you forgot to lock it..

you made your way over to the kitchen drawer pulling out this LARGE ASS BUTCHER KNIFE (we going dexter in this beach)

the sound of the second door shutting rang out throughout the room, however had tried to get in succeeded

you heard movement from outside the window spotting jongin so that means the intruder had gotten inside

wishing you could scream for help although you didnt want to give up your hiding spot ducking underneath your counter top

the should of foootsteps only became louder as they got closer to the kitchen… damn if this person didnt kill you a heart attack surely would

you were surprised when he walked right past you to the other side of the kitchen his back facing you

this was you chance

as stealthily as possible you crept towards him ready to strike liKE A SNAKE ™

unfortunately the floor freaked and the intruder spun around to face you, you acted on impulse running toward the person

he quickly flickers on the kitchen lights and grabbed you arm wielding the knife causing you to drop it

“whoa whoa whoA CALM DOWN”

you heart screamed when you realized who it was

“what. the. fuck.?”

“whew you almost gave me a heart attack i thought you were going to kill me.”

“GIVE YOU A HEART ATTACK WHAT THE HELL CHANYEOL I ALMOST COLLAPSED ON THE GROUND AND HAD A SEIZURE FORM BEING SO SCARED AND YOU TALKING TO ME ABOUT ALMOST HAVING A HEART ATTACK I THINK THE FUCK NOT YOU TRICK ASS BITCH.”

“gave you a heart attack? i thought you were a murderer?”

you what someone come through the back door and its a very angry jongin carrying a very spooked baekhyun

“baek?! you were in on this too?”

“no kinda…chanyeol made me.”

your eyes closed as you exhale loudly, picking up the knife you dropped, before heading over to the kitchen cannot to pull out some Advil for you forming headache

“why are you guys here,” asked jongin dropping baekhyun to the floor

“chanyeol wanted to get you back for putting hot sauce in his coffee this morning” baekhyun blurted obviously afraid of jongin’s wrath

jongin chuckled slightly before shutting up completely at your glare

after downing the pill you turn back to the two boys asking,

“can you two assholes please just go home now?”

“yep.”

“now i know not to ask baekhyun for help on a prank ever again”

“JUST GO!!!”

he quickly followed baekhyun out the door leaving just you and jongin

you walked over to jongin as he wrapped him arms around your waist resting your head on his chest, “you better think of a real good way to get them back” “don’t worry im cooking up something real good”

[secretary--hamilton]

My Hamilton canon/memories

(I’m Alexander, saying it so the post makes more sense)

TW: storms/water, a couple mentions of getting drunk (nothing bad, all very pure), war, getting shot, guns, adoption/orphan, someone stabbing themselves, suicide, death

BODY MEMS

- I had slight freckles

- I had a little bit of a stutter

- brown hair

- bright blue/green eyes

- big forehead, receding hairline

- my lips got chapped a lot fuc k cold wea t h e r (plus I licked them a lot too but shh I’m blaming cold weather)

- I was around 5'6 to 5'7 and was about 125 pounds? But I had a lil bit of stomach and thigh chub. I was so tiny compared to everybody else (George is a. Giant)

- for the time I had my hair up in a ponytail, I used like a string thing? I remember the strings dangling down, throwback to 1700s when circle elastic hairties weren’t a thing so I used ribbons/string

PERSONAL/THINGS I DID MEMS

- I was afraid of storms/raging water because it reminded me of the hurricane/the storms I witnessed while on the ship to the colonies

- when I went off to war, I used Eliza's blue ribbon to tie up my hair

- I was always writing and I always had a notebook with me

- the booklet I had that had all my lists and writing on it was pieces of parchment with 3 holes in the side, with strings through the holes

- i loved (more like.. needed to) keep lists on things and be organized, I had a list of all the people I had to write letters to, etc. I had lists about everything. People’s birthdates, their names, so I would never forget them

- if I ever lost a certain piece of paper with like all the lists and information on it I would freak out

- I had extreme anxiety, my mind was constantly racing and it felt like I could focus on 20 different things at once, which kind of helped me write so much and finish so many essays.

-my canon was definitely NOT modern- we didn't have electricity or pens or technology- just pure 1700s things

EARLY LIFE MEMS

- i have a memory of walking along the beach in the carribean on an extremely rainy day, I was looking at towards a ship on the water when the water started rushing towards me and I heard thunder and that's when I realized it wasn't just a normal storm

- I vividly remember walking up the board to the ship i immigrated on, and what it smelled like (really just sea water and old wood) , carrying my small belongings which were just a few books, and a pen and paper

- I got set up in this little cot in the ship that had a hard mattress on the floor, a small chair in the corner, and a lantern

OOF okay so,, this memory is of when I was still in the Caribbean, shortly after my mom died. Me and my brother were put in custody of my older cousin(?), and he killed himself by stabbing himself with a kitchen knife. I was the first one to notice him, the layout of the house was that the bedrooms were upstairs and the kitchen and living room were downstairs. On the right side of the house upstairs, was my cousins (peter) bedroom, and me and my brother (James) were sharing this open room on the left side of the upstairs with mattresses on the floor for us, a window on the wall/roof (it was like a slanted roof, like an attic) So from left to right, our open room (like no door, just a space), a tiny hallway that lead to the stairs, and then peters room. ANYWay but I remember I just finished reading and I was going to talk to peter about something, so I opened his door and I just see blood **everywhere** So I run downstairs and outside into the streets asking for help. I was only 13 when this happened

- I was born in 1757, and the hurricane happened in 1774

WASHINGTON MEMS

- I loved George Washington so much, he was such a good friend/boss- I’m forever grateful to him for giving me the chance to rise up

-I also liked organizing things a lot, I once organized gwash's entire office and he walked in and was like "what the fuck"

- George was brushing my hair and putting it up in a ponytail for me- this was in the tent during the war, before we went off to battle. He did it another time in his office before a cabinet meeting

- me and wash always helped calm eachother down- if either of us were having anxiety, just the others presence would help

- I loved George in a way that's hard to describe- he was like a father to me, he was there for me and protected me and helped me feel less lost

- the only people I would really listen to were George and Eliza- if those two looked at me and said "Alex, it's not worth it" I would stop in an instant, because I trusted them

- I have a memory of the war, and it was raining and slippery and I was climbing up rocky hills following george lead the command, and I was behind him and we were all heading to our next spot

GENERAL REV SQUAD MEMS

- I once got so drunk with the rev boys that I kissed them all on the cheeks while drunkenly singing

- I was the shortest of the group, Mulligan was the tallest, Lafayette was the second tallest, and laurens was a little closer to my height but still taller

- whenever we went out to drink, I always got the drunkest since I was the shortest- and plus I couldn't handle my alcohol at all. They always took care of me when I was super drunk, I would lean on their shoulders, they would tuck me in with blankets, etc.

MULLIGAN MEMS

- Mulligan was super good with his alcohol, it's probably because he was so big and tough, he only got a little bit loopy but was still fine

- my Mulligan had vitiligo

- one time Mulligan had to carry me home because I was so drunk

LAURENS MEMS

- my Laurens was definitely asexual

- the two people I had weird crushes on were Laurens, and Jefferson- they weren't full on 100% crushes (probably due to the fact that I was confused about them) but they were more "holy fuck these guys are hot and great", I don't know if anybody could notice, even though I acted a bit more lovey towards laurens

- he was always so giggly and happy god I love him his smile could light up the room ngl, and his laugh was so,, good

- his freckles got /a lot/ more prominent if he was out in the sun all day, freckle boy

- he loved space so much, he was always out watching the stars and learning about them- he had this book about astronomy that was p cool

LAFAYETTE MEMS

- when laf immigrated to the colonies, he snuck on the ship as a pregnant woman so he wouldn't get stopped by anyone

- when he came to the colonies he spoke like only a few words of English, when he met me I helped him translate! I was fluent in French so it helped

- he had a birthmark/mole on his cheek near his eye- it was just a small dot

BURR MEMS

- my burr got shot in the leg during the war, and he had a bit of a limp the rest of his life. I remember when he got shot, I was near by so I had to help carry him to a medical tent and then go back to fighting

KING GEORGE MEMS

-i called king George king douche, and he called me a lapdog since I followed Gwash around a lot

- I once called KG just "George" and he was all sassy like "that's KING George to you"

- one time KG talked to the rev boys and I like got all angry and protective, he talked to Lafayette and I was behind Laf trying to but into the conversation to call George out- it was during the war so we were on a field in our war outfits

- his eyes were bluey-purple

JEFFERSON MEMS

- I hated Jefferson but I also had a weird hate crush on him,, I didn't tell anyone tho, let's just say I wanted to beat up the man but also fuc the man. The crush died down after a while though

- my Jefferson would always say lewd jokes to me and humiliate me just to see a reaction, because I was a flustered boy,, one time I got so flustered that I just, LEFT the room, and Jefferson was like “WHY DONT YOU SLAM MY BEDROOM DOOR LIKE THAT” upon me storming out

- during one of the cabinet battles jefferson was sassy clapping at me, he,, sassy clapped a lot

- when jeff was like “daddys calling” I got so angry but also flustered so I stormed out, funnily enough I stormed out to follow george. I fuckin loved George and followed him everywhere

- I once got a 🅱️oner because of some lewd joke Jefferson said oof

- after the second cabinet meeting, we got into a fight. Jefferson wanted us to defend France so I snapped back and interrupted him with “You cant sacrifice our country because you're scared Lafayette’s going to die like your wife.” and Jefferson got livid and yelled back “I am NOT going to be intimidated by you and your washed up bullshit” or something along those lines

RENOYLDS AFFAIR MEMS

- oof I remember yelling in marias face when James sent the letter

- after Eliza found out about the affair, she forced me to stay in my office for 6 months. I only left for food and a short aimless walk I think. My office was in a different building

- the renoylds affair definitely happened. God it was such a bad/weird time, i was so exaushted and sleep deprived and getting constant headaches but I needed to stay awake and work, I heard a knock at my office door so I opened it and it was Maria, it was raining outside so her hair was all wet so I let her in, after her sharing her story I gave her some money and walked her back to her place, but she insisted on staying. I believed her, but once James sent the letter I accused her of being a con artist, and I still don't know the truth of what's what.

- I have a reallyyyy clear memory of me rambling on about how I need to get work done and how my wife needs me and all this stuff and then Maria whispered in my ear "shhhh, you don't need to worry about all that, no one will know" before we got. Down And Dirty TM. And usually I would deny stuff like that but I was so tired

- I have aNOTHer rly clear memory of me kneeling down to Maria and straight up screaming at her "HOW COULD I DO THIS, I AM HELPLESS" or something like that

FAMILY MEMS

- my friends took care of my kids for me while I was busy working, mostly Laurens because I was the closest to him! Philip loved Laurens so much it was adorable

- Burr was really good at math and often taught Philip math

- I always got in arguments with a lot of people, but I'm glad I had people like Eliza to calm me down, I remember she said "Alexander, it's not worth it" and I chilled out instantly

- I married Eliza right after the war ended

- All of our children were adopted except for Angie, Alex Jr., and Eliza

- I think my Philip had a slight tooth gap and rly curly hair, and either a slight lisp or a slight stutter

- I would brush philip's hair and put it up, or braid it. He would sit in between my legs when I was sitting on a chair and brush through his wet hair- Philip was my ultimate pride and joy

- dinner time was my favourite time of day, it was always so warm and happy- Eliza would make us dinner and I would come down from working and eat with Eliza and our children

- I have a memory of me, Eliza, and young/toddler Philip having a picnic in a field with daisies all around us, and we were making daisy chains and eating food and it was rly rly nice and sunny and warm yet slightly breezy and it smelled like jasmine

- I remember the first time Eliza found out about my fear of storms, we were having dinner and i heard thunder and I just like. Froze. And she tried talking to me and I was just like "I need to go" but she calmed me down, asked me to sit down at the table, and got me to explain to her eventually, this was before Philip, so it was just us.

- but once we got Philip, and he was maybe 3 or 4, it was another stormy day and I froze again and Philip said "what's wrong papa?" And I bent down to his level and reassured him that I was okay, after that he sat on my lap and distracted me from the storm outside, I was really focused on this one curl in his hair that was out of place lol

- before Philip, Eliza kept having miscarriages, so we decided to adopt Philip. Our first successful pregnancy was Angie, I was SO protective over Eliza when she was pregnant, if she got up in the middle of the night I would ask her if she needed anything, and when she was walking I would walk behind her with my hands on her hips incase she fell bc she was waddling

- Angie had slight autism all her life, and when Philip died she just lost it and went insane. She was delusional and never grew up a day past 17. she would constantly ask if Philip was coming home and was living in a world as if Philip was still alive, she constantly lived in a world between 7 years old and 17 years old, even when she physically grew older. I would walk with her and play with her, and when i was with her i started to go into her world of Philip still being here. We took care of her. One day, someone suggested we put her in a hospital, and i slammed my fork into my food and quietly but surely said “i will NOT lock my daughter away.”, and the room fell silent. Later on, Eliza and I were walking near the ocean, and she brought up the topic again. I said “They locked away my mother. She nearly starved to death and i will not let my daughter go through that” and Eliza reassured me- “Hon.. your mother was jailed for adultery, not mental wellness. Im not in any way saying we should put our daughter somewhere, all i am suggesting is that she be checked out by a doctor.”

- I remember a few of Angie’s breakdowns. She would pull her hair out and slam her head against walls

-Once Eliza got too old to take care of her (late 70/80′s′s), She put her in a hospital where she stayed for her entire life. she was cared for extremely well there.

DEATH/LATER LIFE MEMS

- I have this like,,, really weird memory of Eliza saying “when you have a problem you come home, you don’t go off and make matters worse on your own” to me a couple different times, one was when Lauren’s shot Charles Lee and I got sent home, another one was when I got into a fight with burr after he ran for senate. The reason why it’s a weird memory is because those are in the heights lyrics???

- I remember the day before I got shot, I stayed up all night writing my goodbye letter to Eliza, there was crumpled papers all over my desk since I kept rewriting them until I was satisfied

- the morning of the duel, it was extremely quiet, like I was literally in a ghost town. Same at the dueling grounds, nobody wanted to talk. I remember I was freaking out trying to focus on one thing but my brain kept going to everything I've ever done in my life, kind of like a life flashed before my eyes kind of moment. I thought of Eliza, and how upset she would be. I thought of Philip, and what was going through his head when he died and how I wish I could apologize to him. Burr's gaze felt like literal knives, so I couldn't bare to look at him. Once I shot up, my mind suddenly calmed and I had this strange factor of "this is my legacy". On the way back across the Hudson I just wanted to keep talking but my doctor said to relax. My Burr tried to run over to talk to me after he shot me, but he wasn't allowed to. He also tried to come to my funeral but wasn't allowed either, he might have watched from afar. but he visited my grave a few times

[ko-neko-san]

so i(24) have two younger siblings. my brother(20) is married(21), and my sister(18) just started college. now I have long since accepted that I'm a third parent before I'm a sibling, and at least around my parents thats easy to deal with. for some reason tho, around the other three that hurts?

like okay. the number of times that I get called or texted (by brother and sil) to ask abt what my sister wants, or thinks of something or other, or needs for something is astronomical, and the number of times they ask abt what i want or need is few and far between.

logically, rationally, I know it is incredibly rude and insensitive and petty for me to have expected the two of them(my sibs) to have hit 18 and immediately gone "oh shit, thats right, shes our sister too" and just not fair. its also not fair of me to assume that his wife would immediately do the same, having only been part of the family two years now.

but a lot of me just fucking hurts. I feel like the least loved in a set. like you know the bears that people get two of, to show the wear after a childhood? I feel like the clean bear that's been forgotten in the attic. like not to brag but I never got picked last for shit, and now that I am as an adult it fucking sucks.

but I also feel like nothing is going to change even if I try ya know? I've been a functioning adult, acting as stand in parent since I was 12, and the kind of distance you put as the person in charge if shit goes down doesn't just get better over coffee.

and like my sister and I have bonded over shit but I recently noticed a pattern that idk is on purpose or even real. but she was into kpop a few years, got me into it, and now(2 years later) we don't do a whole lot together with it. she got me back into anime[kinda] with fairy tail and aot, and now(1 year later) she doesn't watch any. she's recently gotten me into minecraft shit, and im waiting to see if that stops too.

my brother and i..we were closer in high school. we're close enough in age that his freshmen year was my senior, so I drove him to and from and we had the bus when I didnt, but we had rotc and the same teachers after the other, and then we moved after I graduated and we didn't have anything in common except soccer, and then i got a job and even that went away. I just dont have anything in common with him anymore, and I dont think that'll change.

I have, quite literally, next to nothing in common with his wife. I love her, I think she's great for him and a wonderful person, i just..dont have anything to talk about or do with her. tbh that sucks on another level.

I've said some of this to my mom. she likes to pull the whole "no they don't dislike you, no they don't see you that way, communication is a two way street" and like yeah, you're right, it is a two way street, but if i reach out and get no response every time, why am I still reaching out? if they didn't dislike me, they'd talk to me, if they didn't see me as the other sibling, they'd talk to me.

I know my sister has had complaints abt them not talking to her, but I also know she gets responses almost every time she says something to them.

what set this whole thing off was sil texting me to ask what mine and my sisters birthstones are. part of me is irritated bc like you could've googled, you could've text mom, hell you couldve sent it in a group chat with the two of us. part of me is still hurt bc again, second thought👋

I just. I'm hurt, and a little angry, and a lot of both.