#they may or may not be based on my butch and i just a tad.......

[lottielottieda]

butchfemme teddies! 🤍🧸💌

[oraclemilf]

ok but i'm loving your takes on the female characters - like it's very disconcerting to watch this show with a lot of girls and then have almost none of them be actual friends, and when they interact they're either fighting or it's about a boy. a lot of them r reduced to stereotypes too like with sam and her "i'm not like other girls" spiel and paulina's... entire thing lol. i'd say at least valerie is well rounded but she never rly interacts with the other girls positively :/

“and like it's an older show where those kinds of messages were everywhere in kids media especially but it still sucks lol at least we can take what we like from fanon and totally change it into our own because butch really did them dirty” 2/2  

Yeah exactly. Not to be feminist on main but holy fuck do the girls in DP have issues. Like I get the whole argument that “it's an early 2000s show what can you do” and “all of the characters were shittily written” but the reason most of the female characters are bad in DP is specifically because they were written through a misogynistic lens. Like the show presents itself as having strong female characters but really all they do to break the gender binary is being able to fight. (I will give them points for letting the girls get kicked and punched the same as the men but that is the ONLY praise they are getting out of me.)

To expand on the “takes” in my previous ask: 

 -Dora, Ember, Desiree, Kitty, and Spectra all had boy/appearance-based backstories. Like seriously, the only female ghost I can think of whose backstory wasn’t entirely based on a man was Pandora and she appears in literally one episode for literally half the episode. (Also if you look at the myth of Pandora it's literally about a woman created by the gods to be the downfall of man so she doesn’t get any feminism points either.) Like listen. I’m not arguing that all the female ghosts should be totally retconned so they never interact with men at all. In fact, I think Kitty,though she has a heteronormative ultimate power, Dora, and Desiree’s backstories work really well for their characters. But Ember and Spectra? Why should Ember die because “she was so sad she was stood up she slept through a house fire” wtf?That literally doesn’t really work with her musician motif at all? How would that even work? Bitch did you have no alarms? Nobody was screaming or anything? Like its so astronomically stupid.  @grimgrinningghoul​ has some cool ideas for alternate Spectra motivations in this post so I really won’t get into that here but women being only motivated by their appearance is such a stale take. 

-Maddie legit says "behind every genius woman is a genius man" This is self explanatory really. Like come on girl seriously. But yeah, to elaborate on Maddie they could have had a great strong mother figure. I mean she was a scientist and a black belt for crying out loud! Then they kind of back track because you can’t make women too self-sufficient and have her practice traditional housewife roles, always take a back seat to Jack (even though she’s usually in the right) and have her put up with Vlad’s creepy advances far too much. Not ALL of these things are bad mind you and I probably wouldn’t mind her character too much besides for this one line but looking at it from a broader perspective it doesn’t really come together to make the best picture you know? Also, her sister Alicia - who was probably the most gender-non-conforming character in the show, is treated like she’s a joke or trashy by the narrative. (Don’t even get me started on the constant body-shaming either)

Paulina, Sam, Valerie, Jazz and Dani’s arcs all center around another male character (Danny) Ok this one is a tad more controversial because like yes, I understand Danny is the main character. It makes sense that most character growth is facilitated through him. Hell, even really progressive shows like Steven Universe filter character growth through the main male character. However, there are a couple key distinctions I’d like to point out. For example, Steven Universe has a Third-person limited omniscient POV. meaning all actions in SU are filtered directly through Steven’s perspective. This isn’t the case Danny Phantom, which has a Third-person objective POV, meaning that the story can follow many characters separate from each other, not just Danny. Also the female characters in Steven Universe are already 3 dimensional fully established characters without Steven and it’s even touched on in universe that the characters learn and grow without Steven’s help. This isn’t the case in DP. Paulina's main narrative shift is from being crazy about boys in general to being a devoted fan of Phantom. Sam’s whole arc is about getting together with Danny. Jazz’s arc is about learning how to best support Danny in ghost hunting. Val and Dani were probably two of the better female characters - despite still having Danny-centric arcs. Unfortunately, not only were their plans for character development cut short but any girl-power lines they may have had (something about there being no weak girls idk I’m too lazy to find it) feels fake and pander-y because of all the previous bad examples. 

TL;DR I know it's easy to be like “who cares we don’t even respect canon anyway” but I think when source material perpetrates bad messages it’s important to view the content you are working with through a critical lens so you don’t maintain harmful ideas within your own work.

((sorry I hijacked your ask to get on a soap box but I had THOUGHTS about this topic))

[latinalesbi]

when you look at the pictures from Turks and now watch the episode Teri and Stef seem sad?!!

Oh yeah, that was what I was saying to people. Like, Stef just seems off in this entire thing. I know that part of it is that she’s “changed” which so far seems to mean that she’s a meek former butch who shuts her mouth, instead of speaking. The other part is this sadness that Teri has probably about the personal betrayal and the end of her work with Sherri as her wife. It’s palpable.

Anonymous said:                                                                      Whatever the outcome of the finale just sad they felt the need to put Brallie front and center. They could’ve used that as a hook for their new show to garner viewers. Still holding out a glimmer of hope tomorrow’s episode will do ALL the cast notably Stef and Lena justice and a satisfying ending though I’m really not sure that’s going to happen. 😢   

I am going to tell you what is going to happen. Lots of flashbacks. Lots of Brallie flashbacks, surely. But in terms of Stef and Lena, all the scenes at the resort, we have seen in one way or another. Run to the beach, take off clothes, cut. Return to scene later, get caught by in-laws, run back hiding. So sad. Conversation about kids and future later. The wedding or whatever and reception. Back at home, they agree to sell the house, they go to the backyard, reminisce about Frankie, and then all the events that they’ve had in their backyard, including their 2 weddings and even Callie’s birthday. Then a scene outside the house. End of show.

Anonymous said:                                                                      Why does the fosters insist on bringing brallie back I honestly couldn’t care less. Eliza seems good just her parents are… ugh. And the lack of Stef and Lena screentime in these last few eps? I wish the finale was based more on family but hey just my opinion       

I think that’s why this sucks. If he loves her, then marry her, stop looking for excuses not to. It’s either cold feet or he doesn’t love her. Oh I can’t even talk about the lack of air time for them. It’s really the final insult. I am done. The ones with the least time should be calliana.

Anonymous said:                                                                      My frustration with Brallie is people’s explanations as to why it’s okay. ‘Oh but they didn’t grow up together’ that is such a slap in the face for people who have been adopted later in life, essentially they don’t really count in families. I get people love the idea of the two of them being together but honestly just think about real situations and if it did happen what this show would be projecting. The show was based around 2 lesbian moms bringing up a blended family, thats its true legacy.    

Oh yeah, trust me, if I am lucky I will have adopted my girls by year’s end. I don’t want anyone in my family messing with them. If my wife’s nephew hit on one of my girls, I would disown them. This new article, they really miss the point, the show’s legacy is the two moms. They hate admitting it though. Do you know how many people will remember the shit they talk about? No one. Jude and Connor are about it.

Anonymous said:                                                                      Teri and Sherri in the spinoff? Really? I guess now would be the time for contracts etc. Surely the producers would let us know. It may take some of the heat off them. Personally I hope the two of them would tell them to stick it as I don’t want either of them to aid those that essentially dumped them but that’s just me being a tad bitter 😜             

Joanna is pulling shit out of her ass. I don’t think they’ve agreed to anything. They just want to be able to tell you, oh we tried. It just wasn’t possible. We really waned them though. There’s no reason for them to come back. I hope they don’t but I don’t blame them if they do, especially if they want to work together.

  Anonymous said:                                                                      The Fosters was unique for me in that it transcended demographics, the audience was so wide it was a beautiful thing. Steadily it has been dumbed down to being another teen drama. The social impact side had merits but disjointed the family so much it became a detriment for me. The last 3 eps should’ve been a beautiful send off instead they are baiting fans, rehashing old stories for shock value. The beauty of The Fosters early seasons was its simplicity; family came first, not anymore sadly. 

Yeah the last episodes should have been a gift. Instead, it’s a slap. The family is the last thing they care about.

Anonymous said:                                                                      I don’t think Stef and Lena will get to adopt Corey. Which is dumb like why bring him in at the last second just have him ripped away from them? I hate the writers of this show more than I’ve hated any writers ever.            

Yeah, I don’t think so either. A lot of things in that story are hitting close to home to me. I wish they had covered more of that in terms of the foster care system and the frustrations on both sides. I don’t know what the point is, but everything with stef and lena has been half assed for a long time.   

Anonymous said:                                                                      It’s really sad that we might have to ignore the canon of these last 3 episodes. They could have done a really good job wrapping this show up but they stopped caring about Stef and Lena a long time ago, had to bring back the grossest ship ever, and make sure everyone knows that Callie and Mariana have a new show coming. It’s all disgusting and horrible and I will never forgive the writers for they’ve done to this show.

Yeah, I am prepared to ignore most of it. I like corey so I could see myself writing some of that particularly because I know how emotionally hard it is to go through a contested foster/adoption situation. Luckily in my situation, mom never worked her plan. Using Brallie to pimp the side show, not shocking. They will use anything. All they care about is how many people post in the hash tags. They have no concern about the content.

Anonymous said:                                                                      the episode last night was a joke right?                 

It was a nightmare. I wish not to repeat it.

Anonymous said:                                                                      Having withdrawal symptoms at the lack of Sherri tweeting, lol. Hope she’s on it tomo.             

You’ll get your wish, she’s tweeting tonight. I know she’s doing it for the fans, not to promote.

Anonymous said:                                                                      I hope Teri won‘t attend the viewing party tomorrow either.  I actually hoped that Sherri & Teri would at least watch together but since Sherri is on vacation it won‘t happen :( but I hope Sherri will post some photos/videos on IG or twitter of her and Teri             

I hope Sherri is still in Mexico.

[simptasia]

Kateclaire and the science squad?

AHH bless you, my faves!! thank you very much!!

kate/claire

when or if I started shipping it:

i honestly don’t remember but i do know that kate/claire didn’t come into my mind during my first watch of the show, it was an afterwards thing. or perhaps… season 6? season 6 made kate/claire shippers of us all, really

my thoughts:

restless, passionate…

my thoughts are, best ship, end game. i genuinely believe they ended up together after the finale (it’s canon they at least LIVE together, raising a son)

i think they love each other, and that people can have multiple soulmates damn it (i don’t care if thats not how it hurts, multiple soulmates!!!). to me, kate really comes across as bi (and i think evie was doing that on purpose, but thats just a theory) and like, claire is bi-who-thought-she-was-straight

Straight Until Kate…. fucking poetry

they’re honestly like, my (non-canon) OTP. and what with LOST lacking lgbta+ diversity, the show would’ve been much stronger if they made ‘em canon bi

buuuut whatever i guess…. we got a lotta handholding. and also the last third of kate’s character arc is dedicated to her (and one could argue, claire was a part of kate’s arc all along) and, i say this all the time but, CLAIRE IS THE REASON KATE WENT BACK TO THAT FUCKING HELL ISLAND. she found the idea of going back to be disgusting and horrible but gosh damn it, claire needed to be rescued. nobody else was gonna do it, apparently. also i’m pretty sure nobody knew is claire was alive or not at this point but kate went back anyways

the completion of kate’s character arc (not running away, accepting responsibility, opening up to the idea of family) is because of claire & aaron!!

also it’s ironic how i imagine claire doesn’t know she’s bi considering she’s the one making the moves. (that starsign scene, the hand holding…)

kate/claire = proactive sunshine femme astrology bi + tomboy hiking butch i’ve never had a job and relationships scare me but i love everyone bi

What makes me happy about them:

that it would take very little adjustment to make them canon

that kate looks 40% butcher anytime she’s near claire (and the inverse, claire looking 40% more femme. she practically glows)

the height difference

kate is so so protective over claire (kate being protective over other women is legit one of my fave things about kate)

a few days into the crash, the first time claire has ever interacted with kate and she correctly guesses that she’s a gemini and that she’s “restless” and “passionate”. A. great observation skills and B. THATS GAY!!!!

THEY’RE LEGIT CANON GONNA RAISE A SON TOGETHER (two sons, if you include my david austen theory)

that they triggered each other’s memories in limbo. that is genuinely one of the best writing decisions ever, like it’s impressive. whoever decided that they would remember together (instead of the expected jack/kate, and charlie/claire - which happens later because MULTIPLE SOULMATES) is a fucking genius. as a writer, audience member and a sapphic, i fucking applaud you

oh and that their connecting scene was the birth of aaron. such an important event to both of them. and it’s kinda foreshadowing at how they’re gonna be mums together

What makes me sad about them:

not canon [sad horn noises]

other than that, very lovely

things done in art/fic that annoys me:

there’s not an abundance of this sorta thing…?

things I look for in art/fic:

FOR IT TO EXIST

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

jack for kate, charlie for claire. of course

My happily ever after for them:

living together, married, raising two boys, honorary aunties to ji yeon, clementine, charlie (hume), dani, izzie & lara. (some of those are OCs!)

claire is an artist for a living (i thinking an illustrator) and i can’t imagine what job kate would or could get. as i’ve said she’s never had a job before… what would she do? gasp… is SHE the housewife? that’s kinda cute. there’s pictures of charlie and jack on the wall, and they are honoured as aaron & david’s fathers and as heroes

kate knows what it’s like to be in a family that doesn’t involve pain and abuse, claire eventually feels safe as the nightmares become less and less. they both have absolute trust in each other which is quite a feat for those two

[happy sigh]

what is their favorite non-sexual activity?

claire likes to paint and draw. kate isn’t much of an artist but claire is encouraging (imagine kate getting blushy over claire’s praise)

listening/singing to music together

claire encourages kate to take up yoga. it’s relaxing. takes a bit to get used to it tho because kate is restless (more of a rock climbing kinda gal)

yeah basically i imagine they do a lot of exercise-y things together

i was gonna say camping too but claire probably never wants to see trees and tents ever again… so avoid that

~

daniel/charlotte/miles

when or if I started shipping it

the earliest sci team shippy post i made, that i could find, is like from 2013. so maybe during my first watch? or shortly after. somewhere there

my thoughts:

okay so i’ve thought about this and i’ve realised that sci trio shipping is beloved as a concept, especially by me. whilst in canon, this supposed team doesn’t do a lot of teaming. basically my imagination has built them up to be more than what they actually are. and not just in a romantic way. they’re more friends in my head than in the actual show. it’s a tad disappointing actually. see, in the show the science team (the whole thing) is barely a thing. they drop out the sky, the show tries to convince they’re untrustworthy, and then sorta forgets they’re meant to be like colleagues and friends? or at least doesn’t pay attention to that

(miles is given no reactions to char and dan’s deaths. which is FUCKED. i blame writing and direction because no fucking way is this ken leung’s fault. i also blame time constraints which is the biggest reason for lack of sci team stuff)

the dynamic most focused on is dan and charlotte (ah, love..). so throwing miles in there is wishful thinking (i love miles) on my part. because interactions between dan/miles and miles/char in canon? little and none, in that order

but the IDEA is nice

i’m in love with IDEA of these things:

two nerds and a “jeez these nerds” guy (like he isn’t a ghostbusters fan)

a polite timid nerd, a loud passionate nerd and a snarky sardonic cynic

two sciences and a magic

miles being annoyed by, slightly jealous of and wanting in on dan/char

sweet dan in love with people with “bad attitudes” (his words. translation: okay i love you but you’re being bitchy right now and it’s not helping)

char getting the best of both worlds, in my opinion (sugar and salt)

children of the island OT3

being smooshed between people whom look like rebecca mader and ken leung is honestly the best situation you can be in. godspeed dan

and basically i use their personalities (or exaggerated versions of such. espech with charlotte) to project this relationship upon them

TL;DR: barely any sci team interactions in canon, but i adore the ship anyways

What makes me happy about them:

oh shit i make that list up there too early

in general, it feels good? and like theres a lot i can do with it. like i’ve said, i love the concept of their dynamic. like, putting these personalities together is fun!

also

miles uses his powers and dan is immediately on board which means either miles told him on the boat or dan just takes miles at his word without hesitation. both are very plausible and also great

oh and my gosh, my fave thing? these people had possibly months on a boat together off screen. we didn’t get like, any sci team content on screen but thank you for that fanfic/imagination fuel, writers

none of them moved on in the finale which gives me a place to ship them… so basically they’re only shippable outside of the island… huh

char and miles were friends in limbo (thank heavens for small miracles) and thats a great concept. and it also means with char meeting dan in the finale, the TRIANGLE IS COMPLETE. THEY MAY NOW JOIN

that thing dan does where he touches/pets everybody near him? yeah, does that with miles, which isn’t remarkable. miles, like char, doesn’t seem to mind or flinch. which is interesting cuz you’d think miles would react to that. true none of the characters react to dan’s petting (???how) but idc

dan rans to char, pets her hair, face and arms and asks if she’s alright. miles, who is standing near by, says “i’m okay, too”. that sounds like something i would write for them but that actually happened in the show

i like the idea that dan/char (and later sawyer/juliet) make miles reluctantly realise he does want love in his life, which leads to miles/richard one day. this has nothing to do with anything in the show. legit all of that sentence is based on headcanons. and thats a summary of shipping dan/char/miles

uhm… they’re fucking pretty

i’ve slowly made them more and more kinky over time. that makes me happy. it’s also funny

the fact that dan is the tallest of the three and he’s 5 foot 9

i’m certain they’ve all dealt with ableism in their lives. i just like things in common, espech angst things

everything. everything makes me happy about them. even the sad stuff

What makes me sad about them:

tho again, i wish the show remembered these people are friends

on that note, two of miles friend’s died. the show didn’t show him caring but i of course imagine he did. miles has walls but he’s not a cunt

all of ‘em had a fucked up thing happen with a parent (wait no, that’s not an OT3 thing, that’s just a lost is like that thing. anyways, sad)

i have this headcanon that miles is cynical about love (and relationships and romance) cuz like, due to his powers, he grew up with this fucked up perception of death. and throughout he’s seen people absolutely devastated about losing a loved one. this includes dan losing char, sawyer losing jules, and miles himself losing his mum. basically love hurts and he’s decided that pain isn’t worth the temporary amount of happiness. i imagine miles’ bad attitude towards life is caused by this way of thinking. we’re all gonna die, so why bother? only possessions stay so $$$$

….and there’s my miles meta, wow

things done in art/fic that annoys me:

now, sci team content is like, none but i’ve noticed a trend among fandom… their personalities being flanderized a tad too much. and yeah i do that too but i mean

dan being innocent, naive and humourless. we have no reason to assume the first two and fuck no he is humourless. dan has funny lines, he’s just subtle. innocent and naive? maybe kinda. i personally portray dan as innocent and naive in COMPARISON to char & miles (and most other characters). like, the vanilla to their kinky. but again, just by comparison. he’s not totally oblivious. plus he’s a quick learner and can pick up context. i know this all comes from him being so nonthreatening (also it’s a symptom of woobifying. and is also very mildly ableist in this context)

char being a constantly angry shrill bitch. i’m most annoyed by this one. i have some words about this. yes, a couple of times char got angry/bitchy. and it stuck out to people because she’s a woman. as somebody who has analysed like, every moment she’s been on screen, lemme tell you: she is not constantly angry. in fact, when i needed a cap of her looking angry for an art thing, IT WAS GENUINELY HARD TO FIND ONE. char is also very nice to the survivors until they start being mean to her. also she got shot in the chest, i’d be annoyed too. but the most part, char is actually rather pleasant. she’s just… loud. and has a bit of temper. but most of her screentime is with dan, so for the most part she’s soft and sweet with him. because love. i’m annoyed by all this because to this day, within fandom, char is remembered as the angry bitch who died of nosebleeds. fuck y’all, she’s a passionate, polyglottal, determined nerd with a shorter than average fuse and whom loves daniel faraday and chocolate. i know she didn’t get a lot as a character but being remembered for a trait that doesn’t even describe her doesn’t help. like, yeah, my section of the fandom has her be a chocolate obsessed mega trekkie who’s super kinky. is it self-indulgent? fuck yeah (and im proud) but it’s better than seeing her as a constant bitch because she got justifiably angry a few times

ahem anyways

miles as a constant deadpan snarker. okay i see where this comes from, my brain does it too, but miles is not daria. he has tones and inflections. when he isn’t resting grump face, he’s quite emotive. also he has feelings. inside he is very sad. also he cares about his friends. basically he’s not always deadpan. most importantly, miles is an asshole. yes. but he’s not an ASSHOLE. you get me? like, he’s a snarky dick to people but he’s not actually genuinely a bad mean person. this is kinda the point of his character. like his snark is a defense mechanism for his issues. miles would never be an actual (and ableist) cunt to say, hurley or dan. he just has issues connecting with people due to his powers and internal conflict

basically: 

dan isn’t a delicate perfect flower of innocence, char isn’t angry all of the time and being a bitch isn’t her entire character, and miles is actually (eventually) a good person who cares and emotes. i’ve seen ken’s face do things, ya know

things I look for in art/fic:

any art and fic of them existing would be nice (points at my icon)

and in fic, as with anything, i’d like it to be in character. and like, boat times, limbo times, it’s all good. have it anyways. also i’ve found like zero fic

there used to be loads of lost fics, but most of ‘em were purged in 2010

[the saddest violin]

• Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

miles/richard is another pairing i love, and thats how i imagine miles lives his life

• My happily ever after for them:

they all live together in limbo land, in dan’s penthouse. basically 80% of my sci team imagination center (the part of my brain specifically dedicated to the science team) is spent in that house. a great dymantic and lots of sex ensues

also piano. also rats. also char has a cat named jean-luc. it hates miles

fuck, i just realised between dan being a musician/sort of scientist, char being an anthropologist and miles being a detective, that penthouse is gonna be FULL of stacks of paper laying around… the sci team personally killed the rainforest

• what is their favorite non-sexual activity?

PLAY US A SONG YOU’RE THE PIANO MAN

watching tv together

i’ve pictured ‘em doing most domestic activities… right now i keep imagining them eating breakfast together in their underwear

showers

dan likes to draw on his lover’s bodies (music notes, equations, cute little pics of rats. miles says dan’d make a decent tattoo artist)

and holy shit get dan and char going, they can talk for hours. and miles can just sorta follow it (and throw in quips) but he loves ‘em anyways

[adrenalineguide]

Palisade and Venue: Hyundai’s got you covered no matter what size you need

Text and Photos By Michael Hozjan

You’ve got to hand it to Hyundai, just months after launching their largest SUV to date, the three–row Palisade, they bring us their smallest, the Venue. Both of which I’m sure will be a hit with many a household. 

Hyundai Palisade: Getting it right the first time

The Palisade shares the same platform with its corporate cousin, Kia’s Telluride. With giddy up coming from the same transversely mounted 3.8L, 291-hp V6 producing 262 lb-ft of torque mated to an eight-speed automatic transmission riding on the same suspension and brakes. See Kia Telluride: More Bang for the Buck further down this page.

Prices for the Palisade start at $38,826.20 for the front-wheel-drive Essential trim and climb to just over 51 grand for the top of the line Ultimate trim. In between you’ve got the $45,699 all-wheel-drive Preferred (Hyundai needs to get more creative with their trim names) and the $50,399 Luxury, which as the name implies gets leather seating, a 10.25” touch screen and surround view and blind spot monitor.

Even the base Palisade gets you heated seats, heated steering wheel and reclining second row seats – competition take note. As well you get trailer sway control, vehicle stability management. Hyundai’s HTRAC all-wheel-drive system, along with multi terrain control modes is a $2,000 option on the Essential if you don’t want or need to step up to the Preferred which adds 20” wheels, auto-leveling rear suspension, three-zone climate control and the usual safety features; blind spot collision avoidance, rear cross traffic collision avoidance and safe exit assist. As mentioned earlier the Luxury will get you into cowhide seating, a 10.25” touch screen and surround view monitor.

My tester, the top tier Ultimate trim featured Nappa leather, heads-up display, a good looking 12.3”digital cluster (not available on the Kia) that spanned half the dash and didn’t look like an after thought add on, a chrome grill and fancier 20” wheels set the Ultimate apart from the lesser models.

On The Road

I can’t really pin point what it was but my ride in the Palisade was a lot more enjoyable than in the Kia. The Hyundai is a lot easier to toss into a corner, the electrically assisted steering feels precise and light, but dial in Sport mode, and it becomes better weighted, making twisties that much more fun. For a bulky vehicle, body roll is well controlled and in par or superior to others in the segment. Yet for all the sportiness that the large Palisade offers it still provided a comfortable ride when the local dirt roads turned into washboards.

The V6 is vibration free delivering smooth power throughout the rev range and though I did find it a tad louder than the Kia when I shut off the sat radio, the greenhouse is still very quite when compared to lesser seven and eight seaters. Push the go pedal up past the five grand mark and the V6 becomes a different animal growling through the gears as the torque kicks in and revs grow.

Towing capacity is 5000 pounds when properly equipped.

The Greenhouse

All too many SUVs are plagued with bland, hard plastic interiors. Happily the Palisade is not one of them. The airy cabin is comes dressed in a faux-suede headliner and premium leather with quilted door panels that give it a touch of luxury.

Seven USB ports should keep everyone happy.

 My seven passenger Ultimate came with ventilated second row seats, in car intercom so you can talk to third row occupants without raising your voice.

There’s 86 cu.ft. of cargo room behind the front seats. With four passengers and the third row folded you still get 46 cubes. Add more passengers into the third row and the volume shrinks to a modest 18 cubic feet, three less than the Kia because the Hyundai has power folding seats. There’s an additional cubbyhole underneath the load floor. I liked the floating center console that offered additional stowage underneath. Perfect for keeping your camera nearby when the seats are full.

Cargo volume behind the front seats is 86 cubic feet, which fit 33 carry-on suitcases in our testing. With the second row in the upright position and the third row folded, there is 46 cubic feet. Store the third row and the volume shrinks to a modest 18 cubes. Underneath the load floor, there is plenty of room to store muddy or wet items. The cubbies in the doors are tight, but there is reasonable storage within and below the floating-bridge center console.

Conclusion

You can’t review the Palisade without comparing it to the Telluride and the two are so closely matched that the final choice will more often than not be down to personal tastes on styling.  The Kia has a classic front end that would be right at home when stepping out to the opera, but the Hyundai’s shark mouthed front end gives the truck a more aggressive appearance. The rear end however is a different story, at least in my eyes.  I found the Kia’s butt busy and the Palisade cleanly executed. Both incidentally have real twin exhaust tips unlike some fakes you’ll find elsewhere.

At test’s end I found the Palisade hard to surrender. It was there in an impromptu stop to pick up an end table and coffee table for a project, and during a particularly foggy day I appreciated the seating height and large glass to see out.  Oh and for those who think that seven and eight seat SUVs suck a lot of gas, think again. During my weeklong test it only drank 9.5L/100kms of the good stuff.

Price as tested: $56,923*

*Includes Delivery and Destination Fees

Hyundai Venue: GREAT things come in small packages 

There’s been a slew of cutesy subcompact crossovers flooding the market and going after consumer dollars over the last couple of years.  Thankfully Hyundai’s latest creation, the Venue, breaks tradition. Yes it’s targeted at Millennials – what vehicle isn’t these days?  But unlike other crossovers the Venue is more butch looking than cutesy and it’s also only available in front wheel drive.

I got lucky and procured mine during a snowstorm, as evidenced by the opening photo, and it never stopped snowing during the entire week.  The Venue proved, or rather reminded me of several things, you don’t need all-wheel or four-wheel-drive to get around in the snow and you don’t need gobs of horsepower.  How did we all survive back in the day when 4x4s were for the military and your local service station plow? What the Venue did have was a set if fabulous winter tires to help it, but more on that later.

The Venue represents Hyundai’s fifth vehicle in the lucrative SUV/crossover market. It joins the Kona, Tucson, Santa Fe and Palisade making the Hyundai showroom a one stop shopping experience for all your crossover needs. At 4,040mm (159 inches) long, the Venue is shorter than its closest competitors, by 255mm (10 inches) against the pricier Nissan Kicks and 125 mm (4.95 inches) shorter than corporate sibling the Kona.

There’s a bit of give and take here, what you gain in parking space and around town maneuverability you loose in trunk space. If there is a downside to the Venue, it’s just that, the lack of cargo room behind the rears seats, a mere 18.7 cubic feet. Good news is that with the rear bench folded almost flat, it expands to 31.9 cubic feet is nearly the same as the Nissan. Unlike the Kicks, the design does allow for taller items, so again some give and take.

Egress and ingress are excellent. At six feet, I never felt crammed, even with my winter layers on. The front buckets are soft and comfortable but the rear bench is on the tight side for someone with my stature. Still I’ve seen worse. 

Unlike its swooped back competition, the boxy design gives great forward, lateral and rear visibility. Though the thick C-pillars do slightly hamper parallel parking. Yes I still look out the back and don’t use the cameras most of the time.

Four trim levels make up the Venue line up with prices staring at $17,099 for the six-speed manual tranny equipped Essential. The CVT automatic is a $1,300 option.  Entry level once meant you got a steering wheel, seats and an engine. Not any more, even the Essential comes with Bluetooth connectivity, 8” touch screen, HD/AM/FM/MP3 audio system, remote keyless entry, heated front seats, heated power side mirrors and front and rear skid plates.

The grab handle in the rear hatch ( above) may not seem like a big deal but when pricier trucks have you grasping at the outside of salt laden hatches it makes all the difference.

The Preferred adds blind spot collision and rears cross traffic warning along with lane change warning. The Trend includes a power sunroof, 17” alloys and cloth seating, drive mode selector, rear view camera, downhill brake control, remote start, heated steering wheel, LED headlights with cornering lighting My tester, the Ultimate added more driving aides, nav with MapCare support, 4-wheel disc brakes and a chrome grille.

SE Manual: $17,099

Preferred:   $21,499

Trend:         $22,599

Ultimate:     $24,899

I’m going to use the Venue’s formula and make my assessment this short and sweet and in plain simple terms. I love this thing. It does everything it’s supposed to do, take you from point A to point B comfortably, with as little effort as possible without emptying your wallet. Critics will balk at the plastic interior trim. What do you expect for under twenty grand? Hell there’s acres of plastic trim on vehicles costing two and three times as much.

 There’s a good balance between ride and handling and driving on country roads with multiple successive bumps, it feels planted and not at all jittery and for a vehicle with its dimensions, it doesn’t exhibit an overabundance of body roll either.

 The normally aspirated double overhead cam 1.6L inline four pumps out 121 horses and 113 lb.-ft. of torque. Simply put that is all you will need. Whether passing semis on the highway, plowing through half a foot of snow while climbing several grades I never felt under powered.  

Oh and did I say how easy the controls are to use! Thank you Hyundai.

I could easily see the Venue in my driveway if it had just a tad more cargo room for my business and farm needs. Sadly you can’t mix and match options these days the way you used to. My perfect Venue would have the 6-speed manual transmission with the heated steering wheel from the Trend and the Ultimate’s four-wheel disc brakes.

I suspect for most buyers there’s more than enough room behind the second row for your groceries and I know that the Venue will appeal not only to Millennial hipsters but also to older drivers who want a no nonsense vehicle that’s easy to drive, get in and out of and easy on the pocket book.

Winter tires:

As mentioned earlier, my snowy week with the Venue’s couldn’t have been as enjoyable were it not for the Pirelli Cinturato Winter tires. As you can imagine I come across a multitude of tire brands and models on all types of vehicles and with prices to match. Having a pricey tire no matter what the brand doesn’t assure you great performance. A tire that is good in the snow might fail miserably on ice and the other way around. Likewise in slushy conditions, dry roads and mix and match. Tire size is also a big factor with most cars/trucks wearing the wrong size winter boots.

 One of the most difficult areas to get even braking is on hard packed snow, you know the kind that’s still snow before it turns to ice. The Pirelli proved itself in uphill acceleration and downhill braking. I also had the chance to do a panic stop with my passenger tire on ice and the driver’s side on dry pavement, again, flawless. Climbing my driveway with six inches of snow, no sweat. The Cinturato proved itself time and time again to be worthy winter ally. You will want to equip your Venue with these tires.