#they needed a villain for lotr so sauron said oh well

[katcirce]

Yet another day being sad Sauron didnt turn back into Mairon

[saurons-pr-department]

My Top 5 Mairon Moments

For the purposes of this list I’m only including individual scenes as opposed to entire events/schemes. These are in no particular order, I just listed as they popped into my head.  Quotes are taken from the Silmarillion and LotR.

- Laughing his ass off before Númenor sinks with him on it And Sauron, sitting in his black seat in the midst of the Temple, had laughed when he heard the trumpets of Ar-Pharazôn sounding for battle; and again he had laughed when he heard the thunder of the storm; and a third time, even as he laughed at his own thought, thinking what he would do now in the world, being rid of the Edain for ever, he was taken in the midst of his mirth, and his seat and his temple fell into the abyss.  I genuinely find this image hilarious. Like, he’s just sitting there, on his own, in the middle of the temple, thinking “Those idiots! I’m finally free of them! Think of all the shit I can get up to now!” and he’s just giggling away to himself like a giddy school child, completely ignoring the storm brewing outside (in fact, he laughs at it??) and then he just gets wiped out! Like, by the sounds of it, he literally only noticed that something was up when he finally was slapped in the face by a wave. All that plotting and it backfires so spectacularly. I’d say that smug grin was wiped off his face pretty quickly.

- Sees Lúthien, first thing he thinks is of Melkor and what he can get out of him The fame of the beauty of Lúthien and the wonder of her song had long gone forth from Doriath; and he thought to make her captive and hand her over to the power of Morgoth, for his reward would be great. I just love that, normally, when people see Lúthien they fall for her, or they get caught up in her beauty. Our buddy Mairon, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to personally register her beauty, it’s just a thing he’s heard about and, though I’m not even really sure why, I am greatly amused that the first thing he thinks of instead is getting something nice off of Melkor. It might be because he’s normally quite a distant character but I just think the “Oooo, I could get a head pat out of this!” reaction is funny. (Also in terms of head canon and shipping I always look at this scene and think that this Maia really couldn’t be any more gay and in love with his boss if he tried XD) 

- Revealing that he tricked that guy into thinking his wife was alive Then Sauron laughed; and he mocked Gorlim, and revealed to him that he had seen only a phantom devised by wizardry to entrap him; for Eilinel was dead. “Nonetheless I will grant thy prayer,” said Sauron; “and thou shalt go to Eilinel, and be set free of my service.” Then he put him cruelly to death. Look, I am a sucker for scenes where characters pull an Obi Wan ‘Well, I was telling the truth, from a certain point of view’. This moment really shows us how tricky he is, how he likes to get into people’s heads and mess with them and what kinds of things he uses his mastery of illusions for. The fact that he laughs tells us that he takes pleasure in doing these kinds of things. He’s not just doing whatever he thinks will allow him to achieve his goal most efficiently, he gets a kick out of doing things this way. You just know he was a smug git when he was like ‘don’t worry, you’ll get what you were promised’. It’s a classic villain move and I love it.

- Thinking he was the greatest wolf prophesied to kill Huan Now Sauron knew well, as did all in that land, the fate that was decreed for the hound of Valinor, and it came into his thought that he himself would accomplish it. Honestly, do I really need to explain this one? The sheer arrogance! He literally stood there and thought ‘it might be me!’ I love this fool.

- Speaking to Pippin via Palantír “So you have come back? Why have you neglected to report for so long?” I did not answer. He said “Who are you?” [...] “A hobbit” Then suddenly he seemed to see me, and he laughed at me. [...] he said “Wait a moment! We shall meet again soon. Tell Saruman that this dainty is not for him. I will send for it at once. Do you understand? Say just that!” First of all, I deeply enjoy the fact that Pippin of all people got to have a video chat with the man himself. Secondly, I can’t help but picture him do a little double take when he realises that he’s not talking to Saruman ‘Oh so you’ve come back. Wait. Who are you?’ Thirdly, he gets so excited when he thinks his ring is in Isengard. Look at those exclamation marks! He’s all giddy again. Poor guy... Maybe he should stop getting excited... Fourthly, his use of the word ‘dainty’ amuses me. I don’t know, the phrasing of the sentence just strikes me as odd. I think I just like that, in this conversation, he doesn’t sound as high and mighty as he does the few other times we actually get to see him speak. He’s just leaving a very excited voicemail.

[juiceboxman]

So I took Siobhan’s advice and listened to the BBC’s radio adaptation of the Lord of the Rings from the 80′s

It’s pretty good, you can listen to it here https://soundcloud.com/inkmore/sets/lord-of-the-rings-radio 

I had some issues with it but I liked it for the most part. I’m not a massive LoTR fan, only watched the films so I don’t know much, but here are the thoughts I had.

I once heard someone describe Hobbits and the Shire as “drama free people” after listening to this series, that’s obviously not the case. Hobbits seem to live for the drama, always talking shit behind one anothers back. I think Tolkien was trying to satirise rural or village life in England and I think he did a good job depicting how petty people can be.

Sam is a working class hero and Frodo doesn’t deserve him.

I understand how people can like Sam/Frodo because there is massive gay vibes coming off them. Personally I interpreted it to be unrequited and an example of some class division, with Sam being working class and Frodo being middle class. The amount of dedication and support Sam shows Frodo I don’t think Frodo would show back if the roles were reversed. I feel like its a very one sided relationship with Sam putting in way more effort than Frodo.

Bilbo’s whole thing seems to be that he went on a gap year once that turned out quite bad and now he kinda lives like a hermit.

I don’t know how reliable to the books the Radio series is, but I feel like the movies do more justice to stuff. Like in the Radio drama Gandalf makes his first appearance by just coming through the door and Bilbo is like “ah, Gandalf” and...that’s it. Movie version was better in my opinion.

I think the radio drama does a lot better to explain what the ring of power does than the movies. I always got confused by what the ring does, like in the movies all it seems to do is turn people invisible and make them into heroin addicts. With the radio I kinda understand more about it. Like the ring’s power kinda depends on the wearer, like a Hobbit could simply use it for invisibility and expanding their life force but a King could use it to control the minds of an entire enemy army and a Wizard could do even more. But it’s still vague and I presume Tolkien intended it to be, like it’s just a representation of the concept of power and this world’s equivalent of a deal with the devil. Power or wishes may be commanded but they will ultimately corrupt you.

Time in the books seem wild. Like at one point Gandalf says that Bilbo has gone off and he himself will start researching the ring and then twelve years go by and Frodo has just been fucking about, forgot that the ring even existed and Gandalf comes back and is like “oh yeah, ring is bad”

Also, Frodo is 50 when he leaves the shire???? Jesus 

Also, were the Nazgul just running about for 12 years looking for the ring? Like at one point the Nazgul knocked on some Hobbit’s door asking about Frodo and the Hobbit told him to go fuck himself and slammed a door- to a NAZGUL

Aragon’s voice in this radio drama is...way off. Like it sounds like Greg Davies. You don’t really have the soft voice of Viggo Mortinstein but the gruff righteous voice of the Principal from the Inbetweeners 

Elrond denying Aragon to marry his daughter until he becomes king of Gondor is like a stern dad refusing you to date his daughter until you get a real job.

Also Aragon gets the reforged sword, like, immediately when they leave Riverdale. Which is a bit weird to me.

It makes sense why Frodo is trusted with the ring. A king couldn’t be trusted because he’d use it for conquest. A Wizard could overthrow Sauron but in doing so would become just as bad so you’re back to square one. With a Hobbit, there is no desire for conquest or any wish for power outside of simply having the ring. Even when Golum had it all he used it for was to hunt fish and extend his life cycle. I’m curious of whether if Sam had carried the ring all the way to Mordor if he could will himself to destroy it or would he have failed like Frodo. 

Gimly and Legolas’ friendship is so cute. Like they start off disliking eachother but bond over their prowess in combat and plan out a gap year after the whole fellowship where they see the sights of middle earth. So wholesome

I don’t understand why they didn’t just kill Golum. Like I know he was important to find the way to Mordor and was ultimately necessary to destroy the ring after Frodo failed, but like the idea of “don’t kill him because of pity and he also probably has a part to play” is bullshit to me. Like he’s so gross and troublesome. It’s the same excuse Jedi have with “oh you can’t kill a Sith Lord because striking them down means you need to embrace the dark side” bitch Luke Skywalker round house kicked a guy into a Sarlack Pick- whaddya mean he can’t kill this wrinkly ass Emperor??? Ethical mental gymnastics are mind blowing.

For me the moment that made me really dig the series was when the Fellowship disbanded. Like shit hit the fan and everyone’s forced to do their own shit, really engaging storytelling.

The series is quite short when you consider all the battles are short cutted. Like in the radio drama you’ll hear a series of grunts for 30 seconds and then a song about how bad that battle was. I guess it would take a lot to depict a battle purely by means of audio.

Seriously the series is quite short, like it’s 13 hour long episodes and by episode five I’m like “oh shit we’re starting the second book already? Damn” It felt half the time there was so much stuff cut out I don’t know why

I think the radio drama is best suited for people who have either watched the movies or read the books. Like I don’t think it’s well suited for people who haven’t seen LoTR content before. Like the scene with the Balrog there is no description of what it looks like.

Also, Gandalf fought the Balrog from the deepest dungeons to the tip of the mountain? Damn, Gandalf’s leg day must be intense

I love the introduction of Treebeard and the Ents. Like you get this horrific imagery with warring Orcs and other evil creatures and then turn a hard 180 to these hilarious tree people. I guess that’s why the LoTR is so great. Because you do get those hard, gruesome battles but you also get these lovely peaceful wholesome scenes.

Quick question, how do you meet a guy called Saruman and then be surprised that he’s the bad guy? It’s the same deal with Victor VonDoom.

Also, did Tolkien have to have all the big villains names sound so similar?

Man, Tolkien loves having people end up together. With the Horse Princess who got friendzoned by Aragorn meeting up with that guy from Gondor. You love to see it

So like, was the King of Nazgul just talking shit or can he not be killed by a man? Like could anyone kill him by stabbing him the face or did the Horse Princess just find a loophole?

At one point this woman kinda makes fun of this flower called Kings Seed or some shit and Aragon basically calls her a THOT 

Kinda sad the series didn’t have more dragons. Like I would have liked to see a huge black dragon at the final battle at Mordor. But that’s just me, I love me some dragons

Also, the final battle at the gates of Mordor is so endearing. Like they don’t even know if Frodo and Sam are still alive but they go to war anyway because they believe they are and in doing so keep the eye of Sauron off of them. It’s really heart warming

The radio’s version of the destruction of the ring is kinda anticlimactic. Like I said it’s better with the dialogue than it is at the representation of physical actions like combat. Like if you didn’t know what happened at the end of the lord of the rings and you were listening to this you would have no idea that Golum fell into the lava with the ring 

I love the owner of the Prancing Pony’s reaction to Aragon becoming King of Gondor. It’s like “hey, remember that guy you saw shit in the woods that one time? Yeah he’s the President”

Also Sam’s Pony lives at the end of it. Love to see it. I feel like Tolkien read his first draft to his kids and they were like “what happened to Sam’s pony?” and he was like “uh, yeah, the pony....the pony lived! yes! the pony found its way back to town” you can tell this story is vibing on a different level than GoT or ACOC

Hobbits returning to the Shire fucking shit up like level 16 PCs returning to the town they started the campaign in

Also, all the Hobbits in the shire have no idea what the fuck went down? Like I understand they live in the middle or nowhere but that’s astounding 

It’s so funny what ends up happening to Saruman. Like he goes from being the second in command of the Dark Lord to being a shitty local businessman in a Village in Yorkshire

I can see how people can really get into the LotR. Like a world like GoT is just fucked beyond compare and any happy ending will be bittersweet at most. But here you have an ending where the characters leave the world better than when they found it

Frodo asking Sam to live with him was him totally trying to get with Sam, right? And Sam was like “oh that’s nice Frodo, but I have gf” and Frodo’s like “oh that’s alright, she can move in too!” it’s like watching a man back step his request for love by inviting a family into his home. You missed your shot Frodo! You had a whole year with Sam and you blew it!

Sam ultimately moving on from Frodo with his thicc Hobbit gf is the character development we deserved

That said, in the movies Sam getting a gf was a thing at the end of the third movie- like he’d been so shy before hand but after almost dying he’s like “fuck it, might as well give my shot” but here in radio drama he...had a gf all along? Like we only hear about her in the final episode and he’s like “oh yeah, my gf ain’t too happy. I left her for a year to fuck about with you so now I need to marry her. Woops” very startling

Also love how Tolkien represented PTSD with Frodo. I don’t think works of Fantasy like this before Tolkien really did this stuff justice. That said the ending is a bit weird. Like I understand that the “Undying Lands” are supposed to reflect Tolkien’s belief in Catholicism, Eternal Life and Heaven. But it’s really hard to not interpret the ending as Frodo as struggling to deal with his PTSD so he commits suicide. Because the Undying Lands is a place that Sam cannot follow. It’s heart breaking but that’s the vibe I got off the ending.

So yeah, there’s my thoughts. It’s pretty good but I’d only recommend the series to anyone who’s either seen the movies or read the books. If this was your first introduction to LOTR I don’t know if that would be any good. 

Also, while we’re here I recommend Escape from the Bloodkeep from Dimension 20. It’s  DnD actual play series that is a slight parody of LOTR. It’s really good.

[kurtty-drabbles]

Lovecraft/LOTR AU (Final)

N/A: Something short, if we´re lucky, to move the plot...I guess.

@djinmer4 @dannybagpipesarecalling @bamfoftheundead @everykurt

Where the Ents leave are considered their own sanctuary- the dwarves can´t reach this location and couldn´t chope them for precious wood- and is a place where Zaorva likes to stay as her hair is nice foliage for the ents. It is a place where few can access and Sauron loves to be one of the few to be here.

By technically speaking, maybe Gandalf and Galadriel could come here- and there´s a bit of envy here as Gandalf could enter in this garden any time he desires and Sauron does not like this- but so far only Sauron is here surrounder by Ents(not the best company here) and Zaorva enjoying the nice weather(something she crafts this by her own hands- her own tentacles- and smiles at her own recreation.

Sauron knows about the sins of pride and gluttony and thinks he´s above them. And is not aware of Freudian Slips as his eyes burning with passion or hate -it was one thing or another as his eyes are never devoid of emotion- direct to Zaorva as is time to make this question.

Zaorva knows and is not impressed as her hair continues in the Ents, but, she changed her mask waiting for his question. Zaorva has little patience and this is the trick to make the question even faster (ironically, Sauron has lots of patience and can´t understand why his mother haven´t)

"Sauron, ask away" I´m waiting is implied and the Maia only sighs as he asked what´s on his mind.

"Why are you and Melkor together?" is a question laced of curiosity and envy. Why someone like his mother managed to attract the attention of someone like Melkor?

"No, is that you want to ask me. Don´t make me repeat" she warned him and Sauron tries again.

"Can he loves me?" he confessed boldly and looks proudly of this and even gaze at his mother -who is looking at him, in a way too unfamiliar to Sauron- and finally she replies.

"No" is such a final answer as is short and Sauron won´t accept it. He rose from the garden only now noticing the dogs surrounding the garden and asks again.

"Why not?" his question is filled with anger. "Because he only loves you? Is your beauty that enticing for him...or you think I´m that insignificant?" and waits for the answer.

"He´s the void, Sauron, he won´t love anything that´s beneath him. And you, as much you pride yourself as being stronger ...cunning and resourceful is beneath an Outer God" she explains not losing her temper. Yet.

"That won´t do!" and is pacing back and forth. "If it was Gandalf..." he trails off sneering.

"Gandalf is not perverse as you" and Zaorva wonders what this says about her. She loves IT very much, but, can this love perverse her or the fact she´s an Outer God makes her immune.

"Well, dear mother...if I´m that perverse..."

"If you leave this garden you´ll only know pain and suffering and all my dogs will hunt you and hurt you. If you leave now, you no longer will be treated as my child and will face the consequences for your own stupid actions" she warned letting her tentacles appear on the surface of her garden. Sauron won´t lie (he couldn´t but here is impossible) the sight is terrifying.

"If I have him..." and he leaves the garden marching to where IT is located. Zaorva shakes her head and looks at her dogs. "You know what to do..."

"Oh, I raised a fool" is what she said feeling slightly betrayed and ashamed.

_________________________________________________________________________________________

LK is more than amused to see Sauron battered up by Zaorva´s dogs -semi Gods here and extremely powerful-and is even more so as Sauron is offering his services. To be honest, LK never planned to corrupt let alone seduce Sauron...but, if the maia went to his path on his own free will.

Zaorva is all about free will. It is her weakness and biggest strength. Thought LK amused.

"Melkor. I want to join your cause" and LK laughs as the torture for Sauron won´t be over until LK says so.

"All in the name of love? Very well, impressed me, young maia. Show me you´re cable of surviving here and help my cause..and I may let you stay" and he flashes a smile. It oozes power and Sauron is even more intoxicated and obsessed.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Pheonix, here know as Varda, is less than pleased to know Sauron has corrupted some of her creations along with Zaorva´s to join the cause of IT and decides to do something.

"Sauron won´t live to see his big prize" Varda promises now feeling personally attacked as her favorite creations betrayed her like that. And LK would laugh if Sauron could see what is coming to him.

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Sauron was not killed-not saved by his mother who rejected him as he rejected her- but because his punishment needs to be special, no, in fact, it wasn´t special and it was easily forgotten with time. Sauron was sentenced to remain in the void forever.

Power and love don´t mix well enough if is in relation to an Outer God and he learns this lesson too late.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

"So...that makes me the remaining villain of the story?" LK asked now amused.

"Oh no, it will have others. Are you jealous?" Zaorva asked checky.

"Not really, more fun to see them crumble"

"And more fun to see them raise"

[tolkientolkientolkien]

Silmarillion Pre-Reread Review and Comments

So! This is my third and last for the moment. The Silmarillion! I have not read this book in its entirety for over a year and a half, which is quite sad, so I am posting my thoughts on it, then rereading, then updating (via a reply) my thoughts to reflect newer views. Should be interesting!

General Impressions of this Book When I first read this book I read it for more information on Tolkien’s villains and their backstories (because, as you can probably tell if you read my other thoughts, I really really like them). Specifically on The Nazgûl of all people. Yeah. They show up like once in the last 50 pages of the book… poor planning on my part. Anyways, the second time I read the Silmarillion through I was there more for the heroes, parallels, irony, and Melkor. Make sense? Probably not, but ONWARD

Characters:

Well, there are a lot. I’m just going to list the first amazing and meh characters that come to mind, as well as a catergory of “I wish I knew more about this character” because there are so many and I missed a few.

Amazing: Melkor/Morgoth - I’m getting the villains over with at the top of the list because, to be honest, they’re probably pretty predictable. I am fond of Melkor’s character because he is a spoiled five-year-old disaster child with like 3 friends. Oh, and the ultimate evil. Honestly, villains and their motivations interest me. How does one claim the moral high-ground while entirely subverting it? How does one keep it while literally destroying someone’s life and sanity? It interests me. Of course, I don’t necessarily approve of his actions, but that goes without saying. Sauron - As I said, pretty predictable. Now. Just a clarifier - I… don’t ship. Like at all. And it’s nothing to do with the characters, it’s just that my silly brain has a low tolerance for non-platonic relationships. So I personally can’t ship angbang (although I will occasionally read fanfictions because decent characterization of my favorite characters is at times worth it). With that in mind, Sauron (for me currently and with the qualifier of my somewhat clouded memory) shines best in the role of a servant of a higher power. His intelligence and skill at manipulation are most terrifying when he can play the real power/mastermind as off at a distance. He’s a genius at intricate plans, designs, and the actual process of winning, but grand visions of the universe are, in my current view, something he is more comfortable borrowing from others. OOH SAURON’S RAP BATTLE WITH WHO WAS THAT FINROD HE WAS COOL TOO THERE ARE TOO MANY NAMES THAT START WITH F okay I need to stop sorry that one was long Fingolfin - Fingolfin, like Faramir, is a cinnamon roll who did not deserve any of the things. I have several siblings, so sibling relationships and problems amuse me greatly. Fingolfin is noble and that perfect younger sibling who never gets in trouble for anything and-… ugh-… the description of his going to fight Morgoth is just SO SAD HELP *sobs* Fëanor - Fëanor is 150% an awful person… but I relate to him soooo much. His inability to take criticism, skill at accidentally blowing things out of proportion, and #sibling problems make it so that I love this character… but hate his life choices so very much like DUDE Y ARE U LIKE THIS??? I too feel that I may accidentally start wwiii by ranting too much so LET’S BURN SOME BOATS YAY er no Maedhros (and Maglor) Adding to the list of cinnamon rolls who do not deserve the things, these poor characters and their terrible oath are so very sad. Maedhros is one of my very favorite characters because he tried so very hard and yet failed and it just kills me (and him too oh wait). Okay. He was my favorite long before that but I like being poetic WHICH LEADS ME TO MAGLOR who is also awesome, but I don’t really have time to describe it other than that he was the only smart person in this entire story who just chucked the cursed thing into the ocean. A+ Glorfindel - I mean, I missed him in my LOTR thoughts, so I’d better put him in here. Glorfindel is awesome. So very awesome. I mean, you can’t get much cooler than falling off a cliff, killing a balrog, to save a whole lot of people. Luthien - Luthien was my Halloween costume when I was 15. No one had the slightest clue who she was and I was very sad. Do I even need to explain this? Luthien literally talked (well, sang) two valar and one of the creepiest maia I know of (well, that one was the dog) half to death in order to her achieve her goals. I don’t know how you can get much more awesome than that. Tar-Míriel - TAR-MÍRIEL WAS A PERFECT CINNAMON ROLL WHO DID NOT DESERVE THE THINGS OKAY *sobs*

Meh: Turin - turin u are a drama queen but i guess i sort of like u anyways so i dunno Maeglin - again, I have nothing against people who like this character, I just personally don’t care especially much for him. certain of the sons of Fëanor who shall remain unnamed because I cannot remember their names - I mean, you were cursed, but still??? Ar-Pharazôn - Dude, I don’t care if your name looks cool or you attacked Valainor, I hate you from the depths of my soul. (annatar was cool though, yay sauron AND MELKOR REFERENCES I IS HAPPY)