#they r very cool but imo they are not like. Towns

[doctormage]

im sure someone has already made this poll before but replaying totk has me thinking abt how much i love all the towns/villages/etc in this iteration of hyrule :^) so whatever

if you have a different fav in botw and totk (e.g., you liked kakariko best in botw but then liked totk's hateno better than totk's kakariko) just follow your heart idk <3

[javier-penas-wifexx420]

Fictional men Lana album assignments

Ok so I’m always thinking about this, my fave fictional men are literally so lana coded and I have decided to assign them her albums hehe

Javier Peña- Honeymoon

First up we have my husband, Javi. Javi is 100% Honeymoon like COME ON. He’s so Salvatore coded. Honeymoon is all about romanticism but the darkness within it. And Javi is so cunty in his little tight pants like he’s so honeymoon. Also the lyrics of 24 align with him so well it drives me insane.

“Catch me if you can working on my tan, Salvatore. Dying by the hand of a foreign man happily.” Salvatore

“If you lie down with dogs then you’ll get fleas. Be careful of the company you keep” 24

“We both know the history of violence that surrounds you. But I’m not scared, there’s nothing to lose now that I’ve found you” Honeymoon

“It’s no wonder every man in town has neither fought nor found you” Honeymoon

“When I’m down on my knees you’re how I pray” Religion

“I was so wrong not to doubt your Medellín, tangerine dreams” Salvatore

Joel Miller- Norman Fucking Rockwell

Next we got Joel HEHEHEHEHE JOEL omg ok so this one is a no brainer: Joel is Norman Fucking Rockwell. Like come on how is he not. Like so many of the songs remind me so much of him. I could write a whole ass essay on this one. The whole Joe(L) part of How to Disappear like AHHH R U SERIOUS?? Also happiness is a butterfly and hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have- but I have it. HOPE IS A DANGEROUS THING FOR A MAN LIKE JOEL TO HAVE BRO. I feel like the aesthetic of NFR isn’t very frilly either, she’s in her wetsuit at the beach, in her lil shorts yknow? And I feel like that fits with Joel. Also the color green is very prominent in that album and I rlly associate that color with Joel. I feel like NFR can reflect the relationship Joel would have with a love interest but also the relationship he has with Ellie, like if you take her lyrics out of context I feel like it could relate to the relationship he has with her bc she really healed him and changed him and like broke down his walls which imo is all that NFR is about.

Anyway here’s some lyrics that I associate with him:

“You’re just a man, it’s just what you do. Your head in your hands while you color me in blue.” Norman Fucking Rockwell

“Maybe I can save you from your sin.” mariners apartment complex

“All the pills that you take, violet blue green red to keep me at arms length won’t work” cinnamon girl

“Joe(l) met me down at the training yard, cuts on his face cause he fought to hard. I know he’s in over his head, but I love that man like nobody can, he moves mountains and pounds them to ground again.” How to disappear

“If he’s a serial killer then what’s the worst that can happen to a girl who’s already hurt?” Happiness is a butterfly

“You don’t ever have to be stronger than you really are when you’re lying in my arms.” California.

-This is so him he j needs to be held. The fact that he was the little spoon w Tess :’(

NFR is just so Joel don’t even argue with me.

Negan Smith- Ultraviolence

Next we have Negan and I feel like the choice is pretty obvious. Ultraviolence is probably Lana’s darkest album and it fits him so fucking well. He literally wears a fucking leather jacket like that is Ultraviolence in and of itself. He’s also just a violent person and violence is how he deals with things. I can really see the relationship between him and a female oc being like ultraviolence: really toxic but she can’t get enough. So many lyrics for him. So many

“He hurt me and it felt like true love” Ultraviolence

“I can see my baby swingin’, his parliament’s on fire and his hands are up” West Coast

“When he calls he calls for me and not for you” Shades of Cool

“You’re fucking crazy” Cruel World

“Lay me down tonight, I’m your favorite girl.” Fucked My Way Up to the Top

“You didn’t warn me at the time, but you were worth it anyway” Guns and Roses

“You’re my cult leader, I’ll love you forever, I’ll love you forever” Ultraviolence

“If you send for me you know I’ll come and if you call for me you know I’ll run” Old Money

“Get a little bit of bourbon in ya, go a little bit suburban and go crazy” Cruel World (when he went to Alexandria, got drunk, played pool and murdered a dude)

“But I can’t fix him, can’t make him better” Shades of Cool

“Loving you is really hard” Ultraviolence

“I wait for you babe that’s all I do babe you don’t come through babe it’s just what you do” Pretty when you cry

HE DONT GIVE A FUCK ABT U BITCH CAUSE UR PRETTY WHEN YOU CRY

Tommy Shelby- Born to Die

At first I was vibing with Tommy being Ultraviolence but he’s more Born to Die. His whole outlook on life is very consistent with born to die- when lana said I wish I was dead already. Tommy feels like he’s already dead after surviving the war. He’s Born to Die because although he’s dangerous and a lil toxic he can be very loving and he’s always so gentle with his ladies. And when he falls he falls hard (i.e. Grace) also Off the the Races?? That’s literally Tommy bro

Lyrics:

“My old man is a bad man but I can’t deny the way he holds my hand and he grabs me he has me by my heart” Off to the Races

“Come take a walk on the wild side let me fuck you hard in the pouring rain. You like your girls insane” Born to Die

“I’m in his favorite sundress watching me get undressed” Video Games

“No one even knows how hard life was I don’t even talk about it now because I finally found you” Radio

“He headed out on Sunday, said he’d come on Monday. I stayed up waiting anticipating and pacing but he was chasing papers. Caught up in the game it was the last I heard” Blue Jeans

“I don’t know how you get over, get over someone as dangerous tainted and flawed as you” Million Dollar Man

FINALLY

Pedro Pascal- Did you know that there’s a tunnel under ocean boulevard

Ik I said fictional men but Pedro is the source of my comfort in this cruel world and I had to include him. I feel like Pedro is this album because it’s Lana’s most personal album. In the other albums on this post she’s kind of creating these stories but with tunnel it’s very personal and real. Since Pedro is an actual real person I feel like this is an appropriate choice since he has a lot of depth just like tunnel. Also Pedro really cares about family- his relationship with his sister, and has suffered loss to suicide just like Lana has. And tunnel explores themes of family, loss, healing and trying and struggling to find love. Like bro Pedro is Sweet. He’s sweet and he’s Sweet. Yknow?

Idk abt lyrics bc idrk what he’d resonate with but here’s the songs i associate with him:

The Grants, Did you know that there’s a tunnel under ocean boulevard, Sweet, Kintsugi, Paris Texas, Fishtail, Let the Light in, Taco Truck x vb

Ok that’s all thanks for listening🖤🖤

[clunelover]

Okay wow, My Dark Vanessa is so intense, and I’m glad it was recommended to me. It is definitely a darker (ha) version of some stuff I was working through in some recent writing. (Oh and I did finally get to where you find out that the title comes from Pale Fire - so maybe a lot of people know that, but I haven’t read that and did not know).

I had a teacher in high school who I had a mega crush on. He was younger and very funny and IMO hot. I was on the rowing team, and I knew he was a rower too. It’s a small community, so I heard from other team members that he used to be a coach for my team, IIRC when he was just getting out of college. He got together with a girl on the team. It was a whole big thing, he got fired and everyone was very upset, except for the girl’s parents who didn’t think it was that big a deal (I’m thinking like, 17 and 22. That realm). I don’t have much opinion on that. I know they’re married and have kids. I see him around town sometimes. He brings one of his kids to watch roller derby and my sister does that.

I was very dorky and weird in hs. I had this misguided notion that since this teacher had hooked up with a younger girl at one point (btw I did know he was still with her, maybe engaged, at this time), that maybe I had a chance with him. I stalked him and found all kinds of reasons to hang out late after class and was overall very cringey.

I found out he lived right by school so I would also stop by his house, often with my high school BFF who also had a crush on him, albeit less intense I think. He one time did invite us in, and showed us the “all your base are belong to us” video on YouTube.

At some point, I said something mean to him in class and then we had a 1:1 meeting to discuss it and he said I had hurt his feelings - somehow then we ended up discussing the fact that my dad was in the hospital with some then-mysterious issue that was causing his respiratory system to shut down…I was all messed up from it and acting out. I think the teacher also had something going on with his dad, maybe he had recently died. He quoted some Dar Williams lyrics to me? (More cringe - although I did, and still do, love her, it’s just not a normal thing for a teacher to do!) This made me feel like we were bonding and had some kind of connection.

I definitely don’t think he was ever attracted to me, and nothing happened. However, with the benefit of age I’m now like “wtf was he doing having us come in to his house, and having that emo talk with me?” It definitely did not help matters re: my crush. I remember being on winter break and visiting family in Washington not long after, and just feeling this LONGING for him. I was miserable. Ugh.

Anyway. As to my story - I did this cool writing exercise that was called “shape shifting the autobiographical.” It was a multi step thing where you start with an anecdote about something interesting that happened to you. I picked a time when bff and I got pirate costumes and drove to his house and talked to him like pirates (yes…) and it was very dumb but also very funny to us and fun to reminisce about. We got the idea because the pirates of the carribean movie had just come out, and the ad campaign included these banner ads online that just said “PIRATES!” And we thought that was so weird and funny.

For the next step of the exercise, you retell it from a different POV. I picked his wife. Then you change the time period, so I moved it to present day. Then you write it in a whole other style, like a letter or something - I chose a r/AITA post in which she wonders whether she’s the asshole for being upset with how her husband is handling these students with a crush - with lots of edits and updates as the stalking and her distress escalate (at this point, it veered into fiction, I think she was maybe annoyed by us but not distressed, and I wrote the stalking much worse than in real life). Then you change the genre so I tried to make it more like horror.

Anyway, I think I was trying to get at this idea of a woman who got together with her husband in a dubious age gap/power differential situation, but doesn’t think much about it, until she sees him maybe almost crossing lines with girls who are the same age as she was when it happened, and she sees how much they are just children, and she was a child too, and that realization is the horror in the story. I doubt the real life wife actually feels that way (I mean, I’d have no idea obv), but it was an interesting idea to play with. I also really liked the AITA form cause so many of those letters take the tone of “my male partner is basically a monster…is it possible that it is in fact my fault?” and that’s a fun thing to play with too.

I’m realizing now that I didn’t quite get deep enough into that theme (ahem, why that editor I sent it to said it seemed surface level). And it’s kind of a bummer* but also good to see it done much better (and pushed much further/an actual Wrong relationship is part of it) in this book.

*bummer as in, it always kind of sucks to read something you wish you could write. But is also inspiring and interesting.

[windose20s]

OH THOSE R SUPER COOL TALENTS [also sorry i did not see ur answer earlier tumblr hates me <//3] thank u random generator ig jwbdhehhdhd

i think the makoto route for sayaka cld work nd be pretty interesting imo ! i was nvr rlly a fan of the lucky student concept but yeah :o

also makoto being shsl heir is so funny to me [ALSO also im excited for sakura hehehhe]

YEAYEA!! also its ok :D

yeah!!! i’m thinking she has generally good luck all the time but nothing big (acing a test she didn’t study for, finding lost items not too long after losing them, etc) but every once in a while (every few months, probably) something bigger happens that’s bad luck (losing her house key while her dad is out of town, getting punished for stuff she didn’t do in school, etc).

its basically the only way i can find the luck concept…..interesting? because komaeda’s luck cycle may be extreme but it’s really simple either way and makoto has just super bad luck and it just so happens to work in his favor occasionally.

ALSO yeah heir makoto is so funny. i feel like he just lived his Average Life bc even though his family’s rich they didn’t let the kids know and lived normally and just went “lol btw you’re the heir to like, a bunch of money” and he’s like “HUH?!?!?!?” (i’d have to make out a way to make him worthy of him being shsl heir and not just. a heir that just so happened to be picked up)

also yeah sakura’s so !!!!! im very scared of drawing her bc i suck at drawing muscles so she’ll probably not get an art until MUCH later than her backstory post unfortunately <\3 but fashionista sakura is so ggougkugvghkkvssxgjvihsdcv /pos

[komikoniimasu]

Pokemon SC/VI thought vomit.

So i’ve been picking up my Omega ruby re-play because i’ve had the itch for a non switch era pokemon game ya? I plan on going through my copy of Scarlet after going through a few other non-switch games or even pre sc/vi switch games to really solidify my thoughts on the direction of modern pokemon mainline titles but even just a little bit of ORAS has me really noticing just how different the  ✨ p r e s e n t a t i o n ✨ is between gens. In going from crafted routes, to semi-crafted routes with a small scale open area to open world we’ve lost a *lot* of the charm areas in the game have had, imo. One of my largest complaints with sc/vi [aside from how god awful it runs] is just how forgettable pretty much every area in the game is, if we’re talking purely about the landscape itself and not anything it ties to. while it’s partially the curse of being an open world experience [can’t have everything being distinct and cool™] sc/vi has a telling lack of pretty much *anything* worth talking about landscape wise. Don’t get me wrong, some of the towns and cities are genuinely pretty neat [i’m a big fan of Montenevera and Levincia] but all of the in-between in either incredibly forgetful and lacking in any meaningful directive landmarks or is cool but really poorly executed on [looking at you north province area 2] also as an aside the naming convention for zones in this game sucks ass. genuinely. the map and it’s labeled landmarks do nothing to actually give you a grasp of where you are related to the compass [which doesn’t matter with the level of map magnification you get when you’re actually able to read those names / without a compass on said-map to orient yourself appropriately with that context] there’s also the comparative issue of landscapes[and imo pretty much anything] in sc/vi just lacks any sort of aesthetic polish. The game absolutely has a visual vibe it’s going for, and has taken a [in my opinion, backwards] step towards a slightly more ‘realistic’ rendering engine to varying degrees on different things. Ultimately i feel as though much of the environments, trainer and pokemon models lack visual cohesion and the game suffers for it. This leads to most of the landscapes, at least to me, making everything *in* them feel out of place. meanwhile i’m replaying ORAS and the only thing that immediately jumps out at me is the very obvious 5-foot-away skybox that’s being used to depict a scenic mountain range over on the northern bit of route 103 [yknow, the one where you fight your rival for the first time] and while jarring when you notice it, isn’t detractive from the overall look of the game. on the contrary, i actually think this trick is really cool, even if very noticeable and shows a level of problem solving care in ‘’how do we get this game to look like it’s source material, while also innovating on it’’, due to the camera angle change. There’s just a ton of things I find lacking in sc/vi’s environmental design, both functionally and aesthetically, that are really only problems in part *because* of the open world design. [legends arceus also does not escape from this issue, but is more excusable due to the whole *point* of the game being it taking place in a time where the landscape is in some of its most natural state and also because it lands on its feet with it’s visual style] it’s rough because sc/vi is simultaneously one of my favorite pokemon experiences, while ALSO being one of the most flawed. I do genuinely hope that in the next game, they are able to take whatever they have [hopefully] learned from working on SC/VI and use it to make a more cohesive experience in the next game. [but also this is game freak we’re talking about so let’s not get our hopes up]

Ironically, Hassel’s class on the ten wonders of paldea kinda sums up some of my thoughts on sc/vi pretty well

[catt-crossing]

Hey so uhm as somebody that couldn't finish rf4s cause it got too hard for me after a certain point even though i was making new gear and upgrading it and everything, will rf5 be the same or will I be able to see it through to completion do you think?

I've been hyped for it since it got announced and then every new thing i learned about it made me more excited for it but at the same time I've been kind of hesitant to buy it. But seeing your posts make me really want to try it. Sorry to ramble in your inbox about it though

I'm sorry you weren't able to finish rf4! I'll be honest, I finished the main game, but didn't finish the third arc because that was hard imo (which is not something you even have to do to enjoy the game or anything, it's more of a bonus). So I'm not sure where you got in the game, but there is a game difficulty changer in both games! I think I played on easy on rf4, and with rf5 I've been playing on normal. I will say I personally haven't had a tough time fighting monsters or bosses in rf5. And I don't think it's been too different with the fighting. I recommend just taking your time to grind and even bring townspeople with you! I will say, I feel like the townspeople are better fighters in this game. HOWEVER, I have only been bringing the same three people with me purely because we work so well and they're like my three fave characters(Ryker, Martin, and Cecil). But they fight really really well. So I haven't tried out the other townspeople. And Rune Factory 5 introduced a cool dash button, the R button, that let's you move around quickly a few steps(but you can press it repeatedly). That's helpful if you get stuck or surrounded by an enemy. Rune Factory 5 also introduced a new feature, where you "renovate" the different shops around town. It costs money and some lumber and stone. But by "renovating", which is just basically you expanding their inventory, you can get new stuff! Like at the blacksmith, they'll have new weapons and armour. It's different compared to the previous games where shops would increase their inventory either through storyline progression or doing specific requests. I didn't realise I could renovate until after like fighting a few bosses and getting into the storyline, so I was using basic equipment and not having much of a problem fighting! So I'd like to say you should be able to complete it, but then ;w; I am not you......so I can't say for sure, but....probably??? I haven't beaten the game, I think I'm still a ways away, I've only just gotten to like the beginning of summer. At the very least, if you were able to beat the main game of rf4, then you should be able to beat rf5. I suppose I could've simply just said that from the start ;w; I'd recommend maybe checking out any videos if there are any of people playing the game, but there is the risk of spoilers. I hope this was helpful and if not, I'm sorry! <3

[atopearth]

Ar Tonelico: Melody of Elemia Part 1 - Aurica & Misha (Phase 1)

PHASE 1

Okay, I am beyond excited. I honestly never thought I'd be able to play my favourite PS2 games ever again after I moved houses, because I can't for the life of me find my old PS2 that could play copied games, all the wires and some of the games, and I can't buy these games anymore either, so I was literally so sad and nearly cried when I first realised this. But then I realised that we could get PS emulators now and play the games!! Honestly so thankful and happy right now because omg it's so beautiful to know I can finally properly finish these games again!! Anyway, I still remember Shurelia and Lyner very well, I loved how cool Shurelia was, whereas I can't remember much about Lyner so he's probably the average protagonist that gets all the girls lmao. I'm not sure if I'll bother playing each Reyvateil "route" but I do know who I picked as a kid so I'm definitely going to pick her again. It's kinda funny, I wonder if this is when my bro and I decided to each choose our favourites and play through them so we could both see the different stories haha. I just remember he liked the shy brown hair Reyvateil and I loved the blue hair childhood friend, I can't remember their names anymore but I still love them hahaha. And if I remember correctly, Shurelia should have a short story/route, but I remember diving into her cosmosphere was weird because she's kinda like the old type of Reyvateil haha, so I was sad about that but it doesn't matter, it's Shurelia, everyone loves her!

On to the story itself! Lyner is pretty childish but he's a typical teenager protagonist so I'll just ignore it lol. On another note, dang, the art and character design and everything still looks good to this day imo. It's sad that Shurelia and Ayatane had to stay behind to fend off viruses that I can't really kill off until Lyner goes and gets the Hymn Crystal Purger, but I guess they can't really allow these viruses to run around into town, so as long as they stay in the Tower where I assume Shurelia has tried to seal them for many years, it should hopefully be fine~ Poor Lyner got his airship broken the moment he left though, but I guess that's how journeys begin haha. Lmao at Aurica (that's the name of the brown hair girl!!) healing Lyner with her Reyvateil magic/song and then running off when he wakes up, she's so cute lol. Kinda sad to see Reyvateil treated so badly by organisations like Tenba, like wow, the abuse is rampant. The village is pretty unreasonable to make Lyner kill their monsters to get his airship back but I guess that's just how desperate they are? Still don't like them. LMAO when Lyner went to learn grathmelding, the grandpa joked around saying Lyner's reward for learning it was his granddaughter hahaha.

Well, I guess it's good to help the village, because now they're willing to take care of the broken airship until Lyner finds someone who can fix it. Anyway, did Jack like Misha or something? I can't remember🤔 Lmao, Jack is so slack to Aurica, like yeah she's gloomy but I can empathise with her😭 Okay, I gotta agree with Jack though, Claire is definitely much hotter than Aurica, just the fact that she runs a bar by herself and tries her best to be strong and independent already makes me like her lol. On the other hand, why is Misha with Tenba, was she being manipulated or controlled or something? Anyway, the moment I saw Misha, I fell in love with her again, like wow, her design is so beautiful and unique, I could never pick someone else over her. I feel so sorry for her that Lyner can't remember her though, because I'm pretty sure she really likes him🥺 I can't remember the story but I guess we'll know when we can dive into her. Lyner is rash, super reckless and honest to a fault, but that honesty is a good thing I guess haha. The fact that he can't take people in Tenba badmouthing Reyvateil like they're tools that can be scrapped when they don't seem to be crafting good magic would make anyone mad, but Lyner refuses to sit by and listen to that, which is pretty admirable of him tbh.

With the way people react to others going into the Dive shop in the middle of the day with a Reyvateil, you'd be thinking they were doing something R rated lol, but they're just getting to know each other so it's kinda weird to have that kind of stigma, I mean I'm pretty sure going at night is weirder?! Anyway, I have to agree with Misha, Firefly Alley is a scary place, just thinking about being near all those propellers and falling down is crazyyy. It's kinda funny, but I remember Spica (Misha's friend that sells good stuff) but I don't remember the chainsaw girl lmao, I feel like she looks familiar but that's all hahah. It's so hilarious but brave of Misha to tell Lyner to dive into her so they can craft magic to break the wall and leave to go to Nemo without Bourd and them on their tail. Considering how bold she is, it's crazy that it's her first time, but since diving is such a personal thing, I honestly doubt Misha would let anyone aside from Lyner dive into her. I gotta agree with Hama (Misha's cosmosphere mind guardian) slapping Lyner for saying he's only in there because Misha told him to dive in, like excuse you Lyner?! You do realise the one that's being invaded and the one that has to feel vulnerable and everything is Misha right?! Have some tact lol! But I guess Lyner is slow, so it was normal of him to not have realised that it was a bigger deal than he thought, especially since Misha seemed so nonchalant about it. Misha's Level 1 Cosmosphere is so nostalgic though, I remember it so well, because I think it was a really nice contrast to see the brave and cool Misha in real life compared to the vulnerable one in the cosmosphere who is scared of revealing her true self to Lyner. It was nice to see him encourage her and to tell her that he wants to know her better, I mean it's sad that he can't remember her but you can't help things you can't remember I guess...

Krusche and Misha arguing all the time is pretty cute lol, I think it was even better when they worked together to open a door and made bets the whole time making them shout each other food if they got things wrong haha. Misha really is such a great girl to be so scared of heights but try her best to save Aurica. As usual though, Lyner is pretty crazy to jump and save Aurica when she was falling, like dang, they're lucky Krusche was nearby to catch them with her airship. Anyway, lmao at Aurica's naming sense and that fireball she made😂 I feel like Lyner is way more encouraging towards Aurica than he was with Misha before though, I guess it helps when it's obvious that she's troubled, whereas Misha being capable made him slow to realise a lot of things? Awww, Aurica cares so much about Lyner. She crafted blue magic in the real world because she wanted to protect him so much🥺 He's honestly really reckless though, he really could have died with the Hymn Crystal Purger, he's lucky Jack saved him. Honestly though, the more I play this, the more I feel like Lyner's type is Aurica and I'm so sadddd😭 I mean, I like Aurica too because she's so cute, but Misha😭😭

Lmao at how much it would cost Krusche to fix Lyner's airship, back to trying to climbing the tower back to Platina instead~ Well, I didn't expect Claire to really sing a song, her voice was beautiful! I'm glad she's out of Tenba and doing what she wants now, I feel sorry for any Reyvateil stuck in Tenba. Honestly, considering how self-sacrificing Misha was before for Aurica, I would have expected Lyner to care a little more of the possibility that Misha might be hurt or dead from one of the Hexagonal plates falling off and landing in Tenba where Bourd and them were having a meeting. I'm starting to think he really doesn't deserve Misha lolll. Anyway, the virus/Reyvateil Mir sounds familiar, was she one the girls in the next game? A Reyvateil utopia sounds about right if she was also once oppressed by people like Tenba. I honestly can't remember much about Ayatane but I do feel like I remember he disliked Lyner for being the one that protected Shurelia when he feels that he's so much more capable which is understandable considering he seems to be obsessed with her too. Well, the President of Tenba looks very...wow haha. Ooh I remember Misha looking super great as her real age, but she's great the way she is. Anyway, considering that Tenba experiments on Reyvateil, I hope Radolf talks about this with the church, but I guess I'm not sure if the church even has the power to destroy them even if they were so inhumane. Well, dang, Demon Aurica looks like a spider devil or something lol. I'm not surprised there's a part of Aurica that hates Claire though, it's understandable because she feels so inadequate compared to her. It's interesting to read the other bits in the cosmosphere that aren't as important, because omg, Aurica actually really liked this Knight guy before and she got rejected so terribly, that's sad.. I love Aurica's images of Radolf and Krusche, they're so silly🤣 Misha as a student body president is cute lol, and Shurelia(?) is there too?? Lol. Anyway, I like the cat on top of a vacuum, it's so cute. Lmao, okay wasting 900DP to find out that Aurica is a cat fanatic is hilarious, the idea of her rolling around with cats when no one is looking is so funny😂

I'm so glad climbing the Tower led to saving Misha, her breaking down and crying was so heartbreaking, she's really suffered😭 On the other hand, lmao at these residents up here cooking chicken, I just stole all their food✌️Lol at the trial though, it's literally just to test your strength! I'm sure Jack and them could do it too. Anyway, I never realised the Tower was called the Tower of Ar Tonelico, and oh wow, it's pretty cool that in between the Lower World and the Upper World is the Frozen Eye that separates the two so they're actually not physically attached. Oh wow, so Misha being the Star Singer meant she was the one singing her Chronicle Key song to keep all the viruses out, but because her song was stolen and she can't sing it anymore, the viruses are now attacking Platina. How sad though? She has to sing for eternity to keep world peace but what about her? Ooh, Jack left the Teru Tribe because they were too fixated on rules even when they were on the brink of destruction huh? I guess it's understandable why he would be annoyed, he's seeing so many people close to him die and he can't even use the technology that could possibly save them because of some covenant with Elemia. On the other hand, nice to know that Krusche wants to go to the Upper World because her ex-boyfriend Luke went there and never came back. Tbh, the Luke part sounds familiar but I don't remember anything else about this story. And I see, Jack is close to Misha because he used to protect her until he left.. She must have been so lonely after that. Anyway, I don't know why it didn't click to me that people are named after musical instruments here, like Flute and Harmonica lol, not sure what Tastiella is lol.

Time to do Misha's cosmosphere before going up! Adult Misha is beautiful~ lmao at the chunk of ice being an ice fairy😂 LOL at Aurica in the Don Leon costume😂😂😂 I'm kinda glad we did Misha's cosmosphere now though, because I would be so confused why her world is like this if I didn't know she has the responsibility to sing for eternity to keep the world peaceful. Especially now that she can wander around to find her song, I'm sure she's even more reluctant to go back to singing all by herself to save people she doesn't even know, and she's been doing this her whole life. I'm dying at the "flower" you can water with the China dress Misha that turns into a freaking tree hahahahah. I'm not sure about an abundance of love being able to grow a little flower into a gigantic tree😂 But I guess it exactly shows how little exposure Misha has of the real world, since even the stuff in her cosmosphere is really a lot of stuff she read in books. Honestly, I got mad at Lyner when he shouted at Misha to like do her job as the song fairy to save this Krusche, Misha was right that he doesn't understand her feelings at all. She's been stuck in one place for so long and has finally been given medicine that could turn her into a human, of course she would hesitate. I don't really blame Lyner though, since he doesn't really know about her life and her past at all. Shinobi Misha is so hot, I love the costume! It's so heartwrenching to hear how understanding Misha is to say she's willing on giving up on this chance (that she doesn't know if she'll ever get again) so that she can save Krusche because she understands that as long as she's alive, there's still a chance for her to find another way to be free, but if Krusche dies, she'll never have a second chance for her life. HAHAHA, I was thinking if those things in Misha's hair were drums, and thanks to Hama's confirmation, yes they are! But just like Hama's bells, they're just decorations, so don't beat those drums she says lmaooo. 

Lolll at Shurelia being Misha's mum telling her to grow up. So, the reason Misha hates growing up is because when she was young, she was still "free" and got to be in Platina playing with Lyner and stuff, but once she grew up, she was forced to sing and sing, so now she hates the idea of being "grown up" and having to live with this responsibility for the rest of her life, since at least if she's a kid, she can rebel and be a bit more selfish... I always find it hilarious how every Shurelia character in the cosmospheres have to ask Lyner out 😂😂 I guess it's because Shurelia is connected to all the Reyvateils? So even if Shurelia herself doesn't realise it, she really does like Lyner enough that it leaks into all her "characters"? It's terrible to think about how strict Lyner's dad was on Misha when she was in Platina if it's still haunting her here. Aww for Aurica's cosmosphere, Don Leon was a gift from Claire to Aurica before she left the village, she told Aurica to treat it as if it was her so that she wouldn't be lonely. It's cute how Don Leon really stayed so important to her that it's even her Mind Guardian now.

I'm glad Misha put Lyner in his place and told him it's too late to say he doesn't want to involve everyone, but I guess it's understandable since they could die or never be able to come back to the Lower World, but even still, Misha is right, they should be the ones to make that decision and not him. Anyway, in terms of the story, I feel like Lyner would choose Aurica to download the Hymn Crystal into to fight the viruses but I'm biased towards Misha so~ The viruses invading Misha's cosmosphere must have been pretty scary tbh like omggg, that's terrifying, especially since she got sealed in a crystal and everything was a wasteland. It was nice that after choosing Misha for this, it seems like Lyner has finally shown concern and worry over Misha lolll. Well, Platina is saved and now there's potential for more interaction between the Upper and Lower Worlds so I guess that will be nice. And that's the end of Phase 1!

Overall, I've been really enjoying my time with Ar Tonelico again. Tbh, now that I'm playing it again, it really does run like a visual novel with RPG elements hahaha. The battle system gets pretty repetitive and boring though, I'm glad it's not hard, but it can get tiring when there's a lot of random battles, I had to escape a few times because I was just so bored of it lmao. Otherwise, I definitely like Aurica much more than when I was a kid lol! She's actually really adorable and kind, lacking confidence at times, but with Lyner, I think she's definitely found a lot more confidence in herself and her abilities, and we should really be thankful to Lyner for that hahah. I love her weird naming sense and how she's so obstinate about silly things. As for Misha, I still really love her too. I like how she's so honest and true to herself, and I think I like her dynamic with Krusche and them more than Aurica is with them, but I really like how vocal Misha is about stuff like telling Lyner what she thinks and stuff like that. Shurelia is as cool as I used to think she was haha. I think I'll go with Aurica's route first though, just because I've never played it😆

[skinks]

hi!!! what are your favourite movies? like actually good ones but also any trashy comfort movies? is IT (2017) one of them?

Hello!! IT (2017) IS ABSOLUTELY ONE OF THEM oh man, thank you for this, I love talking about movies!!!! This is possibly the most difficult question you could have asked me. Apologies for how absolutely off the rails this got, I just... love movies so much lmao

I’ve said this before, but opening night of IT ch1 was the best cinema experience I’ve ever had, I’m so glad I got to see it with a fully packed audience who were all laughing and screaming together the whole way through. I’m a huge fan of... everything ch1 was doing, the 80s nostalgia, the summer-coming-of-age themes, the solid ghost train funhouse JOY of the Pennywise performance and scares, the washed-out cinematography, the tiny background details to make everything that much more eerie, the kids’ ACTING?!

Like, a lot of the time I find child actors can be really awkward and stilted to watch, but I remember leaving the cinema really impressed by JDG and Sophia Lillis in particular. I liked that they were all allowed to be little shitheads with potty mouths, it felt like a callback to 80s movies like The Lost Boys or Stand By Me. The whole thing worked to make me really care about what happened to the kids (even if I do still have issues with how they handled Mike. I understand even ch1 had limitations with juggling so many characters, but still). I saw it another 2 times in the cinema and have rewatched it at least, I dunno, 7-10 more times since then?

Add to all of that the retroactive CANON R+E baby pining subplot? I just love it, as if that wasn’t obvious by now given my Whole Blog. It’s a really special movie to me!

Anyway!! Ok, the main handful of movies I rewatch all the fucking time are:

Back to the Future, The Lost Boys, Pride and Prejudice (2005), Jaws, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Breakfast Club, Ocean’s 11, POTC 1, The Dark Knight, Inception, Die Hard, LOTR trilogy, Snatch, The Nice Guys, Logan Lucky, Mad Max Fury Road, Clueless, 10 Things I Hate About You, Billy Elliot, Dirty Dancing, Tomb Raider (2018)...

Those are the easily consumable ones that I’ve seen so many times I don’t really have to concentrate or think about them, but I really love them and unfortunately often KEEP rewatching them instead of new stuff. It would take too long to go into why I love all these movies so much because I could write the same amount as I already did for ITCH1, and everyone already knows why those movies are good, so, lol.

I think I’m gonna have to subdivide and categorise this whole post because there are too many separate criteria for... goOD MOVIES, AUUHH 😩

Okay so first off, HORROR MOVIES? I’m especially in love with Re-Animator (1985) and its sequel Bride of Re-Animator, they’re such good examples of camp and batshit 80s practical effects, and also EXTREMELY funny. I’m actually just gonna post my list of my fave horror movies that I do actually keep on my phone at all times lmao. These are in no particular order:

Wholeheartedly recommend every one of these. I’ve never been so scared in my life as I was watching Hereditary in the cinema, hoo boy. Mother! by Aronofsky is one of the strangest experiences I’ve ever had (and I actually saw it on the same day I saw IT ch1 for the first time!! That was a fun day)

Psycho (1960) and The Fly from 1986 should also be on there but I couldn’t fit them in the screenshot.

I’m a HUGE fan of a ton of martial arts movies too, like Kung Fu Hustle, Shaolin Soccer, Ip Man, The Raid movies, John Wick 3 is my fave of the trilogy, Drive from 1997 with Mark Dacascos is incredible, SPL 2, Ong-Bak, Operation Condor, Project A, Iron Monkey, and Zatoichi (2003) are some favourites.

My favourite Tarantino is Reservoir Dogs, fave Coen brothers are Raising Arizona, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs and O Brother Where Art Thou. Love some old-timey colour correction and weird offbeat dialogue. I also love Goodfellas!!! And Donnie Brasco! And The Firm, I’m so easy for any good crime/law/gangster/heist procedural like that, especially if they’re from the 80s or 90s in a super dated way.

Fave Disney movie is Tarzan, favourite Ghibli movies are Spirited Away and Lupin III. I remember watching Spirited Away during a thunderstorm one time and it being.... god! Transcendent! Favourite Pixar movie is The Incredibles (the first one. ALSO the documentary “The Pixar Story” is great and well worth a watch, it’s very comforting for some reason) and my favourite Dreamworks movies are HTTYD1 and Spirit: Stallion of the Cimmaron.

I tend to watch more anime movies than tv shows, so stuff like Akira, The Girl Who Leapt Through Time, Summer Wars, Journey to Agartha, and my ultimate fave anime is Sword of the Stranger (2008). The climactic fight in that movie is fucking stunning and should be counted in “bests fights” lists right alongside anything live action

Also if we’re talking animated movies another hearty favourite is Rango, and a Belgian stop-motion (which at one time I considered my favourite movie ever) called Panique Au Village (2009) which is one of the funniest movies ever made imo.

As for TRASHY movies, I’m not sure if that’s the right word for how I feel about these ones but.. dumb/silly/slightly guilty pleasure movies? Ones that I feel need some kind of justification lmfao

Troy - something u must know about me is that I’m a giant slut for the Assassin’s Creed franchise, so if a movie smashes historical and mythological nonsense together with fun costumes and sword fights, I’m gonna enjoy myself. Even if they should have made Achilles and Patroclus gay. Other movies in this vein are King Arthur: Legend of the Sword, and Immortals (2011)

Gods of Egypt - I know all the reasons this movie is whitewashed bullshit. But it was already bullshit with giant Anubis mecha and giant snakes and bad acting and ridiculous CGI and frankly I had a blast at the cinema (my friend who I forced to come with me did not have a blast. Sorry H***)

Avatar - yes, the one with the big blue people. This movie gets a lot of flack nowadays but I really do enjoy it just for the spectacle. The full CGI world technology was so new at the time and I love to wallow in the visuals and daydream about riding a cool dragon around in the jungle

George of the Jungle - I’ll defend this movie to the death ok this movie shaped me as a person, it is fucking hilarious and Brendan Fraser is the himbo to end all himbos. It’s perfect. The song Dela is perfect. I still want to write a reddie AU about it. It’s one of the best movies ever made and I’m not being ironic

Set It Up - I KNOW this is a dumb Netflix original romcom but consider this; it was funny and the leads had great chemistry. I got butterflies. I once watched it and then literally immediately set it back to the start so I could watch it again

The Brady Bunch Movie - when people talk about great satires or parodies you will see them bring up the same movies over and over again, Blazing Saddles, This Is Spinal Tap etc, but they never talk about The Brady Bunch Movie from 1995 for some reason, which they should. It is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen and every time i watch it somehow it gets funnier

Some more general favourites that I do still love but don’t rewatch as often, and don’t wanna go into more detail about are:

Moon (2009), Crna Mačka Beli Mačor, The Sixth Sense, Parasite, The Handmaiden, Tremors, Wet Hot American Summer, Tucker and Dale vs Evil, What We Do In The Shadows, Hunt For the Wilderpeople, The Secret of My Success (I love kitschy 80s movies, is that obvious by now), The Green Mile, When Harry Met Sally, Rear Window, The Odd Couple, Breaking Away, Pan’s Labyrinth, To Kill A Mockingbird, The Eagle, Gladiator, The Artist, The Extraordinary Adventures of Adèle Blanc-Sec, Call Me By Your Name, Master and Commander, Pacific Rim, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Legend (1985), Emma. (2020), Flash Gordon, Trolljegeren, Hross í Oss, Beverly Hills Cop, Coming to America, WarGames, District 9, Ajeossi (2010), Tracks (2013), Sightseers, Mud (2012), Pitch Black, Four Lions, Shaun of the Dead, Starship Troopers, The Truman Show, Withnail & I....... Jesus Christ ok I need to stop

NOTABLE EXTREME FAVOURITES that I didn’t include in the regular rewatch list because they’re too heavy/not as well known/require more attention.:

Thin Red Line (1998), Badlands (1973) both dir. Terrence Malick

Malick’s brand of dreamy impressionistic filmmaking is something I find really appealing, both of these movies are gorgeous and unusual and poignant and, in the case of Thin Red Line at least, have a lot of things to say about a lot of rough subjects. I don’t totally understand all those things sometimes, but a theme with a lot of my favourite movies is that I’ll be more likely to love something long-term if it raises unanswered questions, or is surreal/esoteric etc. Plus the cinematography is incredible, and I wish there was a way to get Jim Caviezel’s narration from The Thin Red Line as an audiobook because it’s very poetic and soothing.

Let the Bullets Fly (2010) dir. Jiang Wen

This movie is WILD, it’s so much fun. It’s sprawling and intricate and epic and smart and really fucking funny, it! Has! Everything! A gang of very tolerant outlaws!! Jiang Wen’s beautiful broad chest!!! Chow Yun Fat absolutely DECIMATING the scenery, and the two of them outsmarting each other in order to gain control of a small Chinese town!!! Plus it’s long, but it packs so much nonsense and intrigue that it goes by really fast. Wow what a flick

A Field in England (2013) dir. Ben Wheatley

I know I included this in my horror list but aaaaahhh ahhhh Wheatley is one of my favourite directors (he also made Sightseers, and is directing the Tomb Raider sequel which makes me absolutely rabid.) This is a surreal black-and-white psychological horror black comedy set in the English Civil War about some deserters who may or may not meet the Devil in a field. People eat mushrooms. It’s bonkers. I love being blasted in the face with imagery that I don’t understand

Mandy (2018) dir. Panos Cosmatos

Speaking of being blasted in the face!!!!! This movie... I saw it in the cinema and I can’t even begin to explain the experience, but I’ll try. My favourite review site described it like this:

“...somewhere between a prog album cover come to life and a metal album cover come to life, and subscribes to both genre's artistic tendency towards maximalism: what it ends up being is basically naught else but two glorious hours of being pounded by bold colors...”

So, prog and metal are my two favourite genres of music. This movie opens with the quote “When I die, bury me deep, lay two speakers at my feet, put some headphones on my head and rock and roll me when I'm dead.” and then a King Crimson song, it is SURREAL to the nth degree, it’s violent and bizarre and Nic Cage forges a giant silver axe to destroy demonic bikers and there is a CHAINSAW DUEL. A galaxy swirls above a quarry. Multiple animated horror nightmare sequences. At one point a man says “you exude a cosmic darkness” and releases a live tiger. At another point Cage says, in a digitally deepened voice, “The psychotic drowns where the mystic swims. You’re drowning. I’m swimming.” and I haven’t stopped thinking about it for two years

Paper Moon (1973) dir. Peter Bogdanovich

Really fantastic movie set in the Great Depression (and also in black & white) about a conman and a little kid who may or may not be his daughter, running cons across the Midwest. It’s beautifully shot, so sharp and sweet and the progression of their dynamic is really well done because they’re played by an IRL father and daughter. Tatum O’Neal was NINE YEARS OLD and she’s so amazing in this movie she’s actually the youngest person to win a competitive category Oscar. I keep trying to get people to watch this fbdjfjdbf it’s wonderful

Alpha (2018) dir. Albert Hughes

THIS MOVIE IS A VICTIM OF BAD MARKETING ok, the trailers made it look like some twee crappy sentimental Boy And His Dog Adventure, plus it had voiceovers in American-accented english? That’s a total disservice to one of the coolest things about this film; the fact that they got a linguist to construct an entirely original Neolithic language that all the characters speak for the entire runtime. And yes, it is eventually a Boy And His Wolf adventure, but it’s COOL and fairly brutal, and it has some really incredible cinematography. The landscapes are so strange and barren and alien, you really get the sense that this is an ancient world we no longer have any connection to. And it’s also about like, the birth of dog & human companionship sooo it’s perfect.

Free Solo (2018) dir. Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi, Jimmy Chin

The Free Climbing Documentary. I loved climbing as a kid, I love outdoor sports, and I love movies that elicit a physical reaction in me, whether that’s horny, scared, real laughter, overwhelming shivers, or in the case of Free Solo - HORRIBLE SWEATING TENSION. Like, I knew about Alex Honnold beforehand because of this adventure film festival I go to every year and I followed him on IG so obviously I knew he lived, but the actual climb itself was torture. My hands sweat every time I see it!! It’s incredible, such a cool look into generally what the human body can do, and more specifically, why Honnold’s psychology and life means he’s so well suited to free soloing. It’s such an exercise in getting to know an individual and get invested in them, before they attempt something very potentially fatal.

Brokeback Mountain (2005) dir. Ang Lee

I can’t even talk about this. When I was around 13 I snuck downstairs to watch this on TV at 11pm in secret, and my life was forever changed. I wouldn’t be who I am if I hadn’t seen Brokeback at the age I did. I seriously can’t talk about this or I’ll write an even longer essay than this already is

God’s Own Country (2017) dir. Francis Lee

The antidote to Brokeback Mountain, I’m so glad I managed to see this one in the cinema too. It makes me cry every time, as someone who’s spent years working on a cold British farm with sheep it was very realistic, which is expected since Lee grew up on a farm in Yorkshire. I love that this movie isn’t really about being closeted, but about being so emotionally repressed and self-loathing that the main character finds it so hard to accept love. Or that he deserves to be loved. The cinnamontographies.... lordt... but also the intimacy and sex scenes are fucking searing wow who hasn’t seen this movie by now. 10 stars. 20 stars!!!

Tomboy (2011) dir. Céline Sciamma

I saw this years ago but I’ve never forgotten it, it cut so deep. It’s from the director of Portrait of a Lady on Fire and it’s about a gnc kid struggling with gender and misogyny and homophobia in a really raw, scrappy way, it reminded me very much of my own... childhood... ahh the central performance is amazing for such a young age. I haven’t seen Portrait yet but I feel like if you went nuts for that, you should definitely check this out, it’s lovely.

Donnie Darko (2001) dir. Richard Kelly

EVERY TIME I WATCH THIS MOVIE I UNDERSTAND LESS AND LESS and that’s what I love so much about it. I love surreal movies, I love time-fuckery and stuff about altered perception etc etc and Donnie Darko scratches all my itches. I wish I could find a way to figure out an IT AU for it, because I know it would work! Somehow! Plus it’s got the subdued 80s nostalgia and I found it at an age when I was really starting to explore movies and music and the soundtrack FUCKS.

Offside (2006) dir. Jafar Panahi

I wish more people knew about this!!! It’s an Iranian film about a disparate group of women and girls who are football fans and want to watch Iran’s qualifying match for the World Cup, but women aren’t allowed into the stadium, so they all get thrown into the Stadium Jail together? They don’t know each other beforehand, but it’s about their changing relationships with each other and the guards and just, their defiance alongside hearing the match from the outside and WOW it’s so lively. Great dialogue and very funny, and such a different kind of story from anything you usually see from Hollywood.

The Fall (2006) dir. Tarsem Singh

This movie... I guess it’s the ideal. This is the platonic ideal of a film for me, it has fantasy, magical realism, glorious visuals, amazing score and costumes and production design and a really interesting, heartbreaking relationship at the core of it. I don’t know why so many of my favourite films feature incredibly raw performances by child actors but this is another one, Catinca Untaru barely knew any English and improvised so much because of that, and it’s fascinating to watch! Also the dynamic with Lee Pace is one of my favourites, where a kid forms a friendship with a guardian figure who isn’t their parent, but the guardian grows to really care for them by the end. It’s like Paper Moon in that sense. What is there to even say about this movie, it’s pure magic joy tempered and countered by genuine gutwrenching emotional conflict in the real world, it’s also ABOUT old moviemaking, in a way, and it’s stunning to look at!

Mad Max Fury Road (2015) dir. George Miller

I know I included this in my “most rewatched” section but it deserves its own thing. We all know why this movie is fucking incredible. I remember clutching my armrests in the cinema and feeling like my skeleton was being blasted back into the seat behind me and tbh that is the high I’m constantly chasing when I go to see any movie. What a fucking gift this film is

Théo et Hugo dans le Même Bateau (2016) dir. Olivier Ducastel, Jacques Martineau

I only found this movie last year and it became an instant favourite. Initially I was just curious because I’d never seen a movie with unsimulated sex before, but it’s so much more than the 18 minute gay sex club orgy it opens with. No, not more than, AS WELL AS. The orgy is important because this movie is so candid and frank about sex and HIV treatment in the modern day, it was eye-opening. Another thing that really got me is that I’d never seen a real-time film before. It’s literally an hour and a half in the lives of these two men, their intense connection and conversation and conflict in the middle of the night in Paris, with some really nice night photography and just!!! Wow!!! AMAZING CHEMISTRY between the actors. This is such a gem if you’re comfortable with explicit sexual content.

Ok. This is already over 3k but film is obviously one of my ridiculous passions and I can and do talk about it for hours. I’ve been reading magazines about it for years, listening to podcasts and reading review blogs and recently, watching video essays on YouTube because the whole process is so interesting to me and I want to learn more!!

Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about the concept of valuing form over narrative. The idea that story can often come second to the deeper physical experience and emotional reaction that’s created by using ALL the elements of filmmaking and not just The Story, y’know? Whether that’s editing, shot composition, colour, the sound mix, the actors, how it should all be used to heighten the emotional state the script wants you to feel. And so, I think for a few years now this approach has been influencing the types of films I really, really love.

I think I love surreality and mind-bending magical realism in films specifically because the filmmakers have to use all those different tools to convey things that can be way too metaphysical for just... a script? I’m always chasing that physical response; if a movie can make me stop thinking “I wonder what it was like to set up that shot” and instead overwhelm that suspension of disbelief, if I can be terrified or woozy or crying for whatever reason, that’s what I’m looking for. That’s why I watch so many fuckin movies, and why I’ll always remember nights like seeing IT (2017) for giving me another favourite.

Thank you again for this question, I didn’t mean to go so overboard. Also there’s no way to do a readmore on tumblr mobile so apologies to anyone’s dashboard 😬

[carpsurprise]

this isn’t really a request but if you want to do it anyway I think it’s fun:^) so we know sunshine boy sam is one of your favorites but can you rate the bachelors and bachelorettes together from most to least favorite and why?

thank u for sending this in!! its always refreshing to do non-imagine/writing stuff for da ol’ noggin!! dlkskd but truly thank u and im gonna put this under a cut and not tag it bc i can foresee there being some issues with this list <3 i do love all of these characters in their own way ofc

1. sam: like u said a given :^) i think sam is dumb and a lot of fun!! i love super happy/caring guys bc i am super bad w/ second guessing myself so!! a guy thats really straight forward and shows how they feel when they feel it is my dream! also the pop punk aesthetic <3 i like that he’s the direct opposite of me!! why would i want to date a dark/brooding guy when im already like that?? i want someone super happy thats gonna radiate that!!

2. haley: haley’s an angel late game! and she’s pretty! im pretty mean myself so i was never driven away from her but was more like damn we’d be powerful together and then she ended up doing a 180 personality wise and i love her even more!! shes so sweet and so helpful during marriage too love her

3. emily: ok emily is like a dream best friend for me!! i love how creative she is and we have a lot of similar interests. she seems like a good mix of the mom girl at a club taking care of all the drunk girls, the girl that u can easily go up to and talk to if u need a partner in class, and the cool older sister. love love love her

4. harvey: sweetheart... angel man. so shy and sweet!! i dont like mean men so him being outright kind and such a good guy is so heartwarming for me!! i feel like he would be respectful at all times and is not a man i’d need to worry about *intentionally* wronging me with intent to hurt <3 

5. elliott: i did theatre in high school and am a creative writing minor. i more wish i was him bc if i could live by the sea and write all day... yes. and speak like someone that would’ve gotten beaten up by a shakespeare character? yes. once again, a man that wouldn’t be mean to me & would make me feel safe

6. maru: also someone i would love as a friend! she’s so kind and always so welcoming my social anxiety would be nonexistent around her <3 i know she’d tell someone my order was wrong for me despite her also being nonconfrontational. seems like a sleepover queen and someone i could go to for anything without being judged love her to death 

7. penny: i also do love penny!! i think she’s def one of the better people in the game what with her aspirations and motivations but!! we r both too shy but i do love reading so i think we would get along there!! she’s v sweet but also her trope is not my fave!! i see a lot of similarities within us 

8. abigail: i do like abigail but i do not see the hype imo. she’s def got more character to her than some of the other women (once again, mr. ape) but she’s just not my type of girl !! i think we’re.... too alike probably. same thing w/ my thing w/ himboish guys.. i try not to surround myself w/ ppl that remind me of myself very often. still lov her tho i promise

9. leah: i feel like leah couldve had more potential in game imo, i dont really think there’s that much to her (thanks mr. ape) but i KNOW she’d beat someone up for me and i love that for both of us. she seems sooo chill and nonjudgemental. she’d buy me food if i couldn’t pay for it at the time </3 i do love her a lot

10. alex: oh boy hot stupid boy but misogynistic comments. granted! high hearts he’s much better but its the getting past that. i like his character at high hearts (also its just funny to headcanon him reacting to other characters) but.. alex i lov u but jesus christ. wouldn’t feel safe around him early game but later on i kno he’d beat up another guy for me <3

11. sebastian: him pushing the farmer (me) away at any chance is a huge turn off for meeeee and i just dont like!! men that are rude. obvi higher hearts hes not anymore but if not for completion sake i wouldnt have gotten to know him. i dont really like edgy guys bc i feel like there’d be more gaslighting and instability. also pelican town only has room for one goth seb stay in the basement </3 sdlkslkd

12. shane: once again mean if i wanted a man to be mean to me i’d walk outside my house. i don’t even reallyyy like his high hearts character (esp w his drinking after marriage) i just lkdlsdk drinking is a big turn off for me (family issues) and i understand why he’s like this i just. it doesn’t excuse it. i’m not his mother i refuse to cater to him bc of his issues. we all have issues.. u cant just treat people bad bc of them!! 

[dodgergilmore]

1: Also I would VERY MUCH love to hear more of your thoughts on season 3. It always annoys me to NO END how people who hate them think that fans love them for their season 3 relationship despite the fact that other fans have mentioned numerous times that it's not because they thought their relationship was perfect, but that they didn't get a real chance where both of them were at a better place in their life.

Continued: It's very obvious in the season that their relationship actually DOES work in the sense that they get along when there's no outside pressures in the form of Lorelai/Dean, that they actually like spending time with each other and do dates, but the issue is that we never got enough of that, only the big arguments were placed in the forefront which imo is unfair because it further gives people 'proof' that Dean saying that Jess treats her 'like trash' is true, when in fact it's very much not (also it's just obvious shipper bias how many people, particularly r*gans love focusing on the negative aspects of Lit but just sweep aside all the issues Logan has in seasons 5/6, hell even in season 7 with how he proposed to Rory and then immediately ended their long term relationship when she couldn't say yes to him). It's also more than justified for fans to be intrigued of the possibility of older Lit when both Jess and Rory have their own lives that are more separate from the influence of Stars Hollow/Jess's turbulent past, because not only is Jess more mature, more open and just more stable and sure of himself, Rory now has to make decisions for herself and not based off of what Lorelai or anyone else says for her to do. And, although I'm in the minority with this opinion, even though Rory's writing in AYITL was awful in terms of fleshing out how and just why she is at this state, without allowing people to be more sympathetic, I'm not gonna suddenly go against her being with Jess simply because people think he 'pined' for her all these years when it's clear that he's not holding his life back for her, but merely in his own way, will always love her. And what I mentioned about her and Jess finally having a relationship that isn't influenced by anyone outside of it still stands for this, especially when Rory's gotta put her life back together now and Jess would imo offer support, the same way she tried to do it when he was younger and unsure of his capabilities. But yeah even discrediting AYITL, an adult relationship between them would truly be a positive thing

Okay I’ve had my morning coffee so I am ready + this is definitely going to warrant a read more!

Exactly!! I have never seen anyone claim their season 3 relationship was great. We don’t get to see them just be happy and hanging out together – even though we’re explicitly told they’re together often – unless it’s to set up conflict and I think a big part of that comes from the fact that Milo was already being written out of the show before the characters even got together.

They’ve always liked just spending time together and I love how that ends up being a constant thread throughout their relationship, be it in a romantic context or not, with season 4 being an obvious exception but at that point they were still confronting the completely unresolved ending to their relationship. But anyway, getting back to season 3...

Let me just repeat myself here: Dean cast a looming shadow over the entirety of the Rory and Jess relationship in season 3. That’s not to say that they would have been together forever if Dean hadn’t been there because I think it was inevitable for their paths to diverge (and eventually come back together!) – of course it would have been nice for them to grow together but in terms of canon, I actually like that they got to experience life independent of each other. However, Dean’s presence definitely exacerbated the issues in the Rory and Jess relationship. (I don’t mean to frame this in a way that everything wrong with Rory and Jess’ relationship has to do with Dean, I’m just examining the ways in which his role in the narrative had an influence on their relationship)

The Dean/Rory/Jess love triangle had been building up for almost a year by the time we get to 3x07 so we as viewers are ready for it to culminate in a big, dramatic, exciting way and it certainly delivers in that regard because it made for good television but it’s a shaky starting point for Rory and Jess. Before Rory even has time to cry to her mother, or even just tell her mother about the breakup with Dean, she’s already swept up in a new relationship. For that reason, an interesting “what-if” to consider is what if Dean had ended the relationship once he realised she liked Jess in 2x18? But that doesn’t happen, so from this point on Rory slowly becomes aware of her growing feelings for Jess while still being in a relationship with Dean and she feels guilty, obviously! Once she’s with Jess, she feels like she has to make things right with Dean. On top of that, Rory was always being told by the town and her mother about how Dean was the perfect boyfriend and, oh, she was so lucky to have him as her first boyfriend! Regardless of how false that whole narrative rings to me as a viewer, this puts Rory in a position where she is always comparing Jess to Dean; by Rory’s own admission in 3x09 she says she feels like the town is watching them and she’s right, they are watching! There is this pressure put on her to have her life perfectly together, which is an impossible and even damaging standard to be placing onto any teenager. At this point, Lorelai is still heavily involved in Rory’s romantic life but because Lorelai plays friend more often than mother, she has always made her stance on Jess very clear and consequently, Rory doesn’t feel she can talk openly to her mother when she has issues with Jess and this is unfamiliar territory for Rory. In the first episode with Rory and Jess together, Lorelai is already saying things like, “But I never expected you to be with Dean forever, just like I don’t expect you to be with Jess forever.” As much as she says she’s supportive, Rory never actually feels her support. For these reasons, we don’t get to see much of Rory addressing or confronting her relationship with Jess throughout season 4 – we see her play it cool or “stoic” with Lorelai and the townies but we see it’s an act to some extent when talking with Lane in 4x22 or with Jess – “I have actually thought about this moment. A lot.” that whole speech she gives feels like it’s been something she’s been holding onto for a while and never been able to vocalise. Back to season 3: Rory feels she has to hide things from Jess like she did with Dean because she was always trying to avoid a fight with him (which is.....☹️), failing to realise that Jess is not Dean, and thus begins the miscommunication problems throughout their relationship. All of this to say... Rory has no other point of reference for relationships, so I understand where she is coming from during season 3!

Now for Jess we go back to the 3x07 for a moment: obviously this is all open to interpretation but he looks very surprised and also somewhat guilty during the very public Dean and Rory breakup, which I take to mean... he never wanted it to happen, nor expected it to happen, like this. Jess is very aware of how the town and everyone in it views him in comparison to Dean; there’s an insecurity there for Jess “She picked you.” / “God knows why.” because she never actually did choose him and he doesn’t particularly like himself very much at this point. Which brings me to the point that Jess was simply not in a place to be in a relationship – his communication issues were there before he ever got into a relationship with Rory because it’s easier to not deal with things and allow people to have a low opinion of you so that you don’t disappoint them. He really thought the dinner with Emily would be a one and done thing, which highlights both his inexperience with relationships but also his misconception that this relationship could be just him and Rory, see also: “I don't wanna talk to anybody else. I don't like anybody else.” As much as he may love Rory and Luke, they can’t be Jess’ sole support system and he has a lot of personal growing to do. If we are to assume Jimmy was always going to show up in late season 3, I think that’s something that Jess was always going to want to see through. He definitely makes efforts to do better, particularly after 3x15 (there is no way he or Luke didn’t hear that voicemail...) is when we actually see them at their most chill as they’re having movie nights, they’re talking about Rory’s future at Yale, Lane is supportive, Jess is ready to go to prom without complaints, etc. He went after Rory once she leaves the bedroom in 3x19 but the moment he sees Dean, he gives up and we’re back to the looming shadow that is Dean. Without that shadow, I think they could have at least ended things on better terms.

Rory saying, “I don’t want to deal with this.” after seeing Jess in his car in 4x12 really is a good summation of their romantic relationship lmao 🙃

That proposal really was so.........yikes!!

Yeah, I have never gotten the impression that Jess has been pining after Rory all these years. I remember coming onto the internet after watching AYITL and being so confused by how heated people were with regard to that parting look in Fall. From everything we saw – which was very little, admittedly – Jess seems very content with his life and in a place of stability, continuing to mature and better himself since the last time we saw him. For what it’s worth, my interpretation of The Window Look(tm) is that Jess meant it when he told Luke that he was over Rory, and it’s not something he had been consciously thinking about until he went to the window and was like, “Hm..........” and the fact that they hadn’t seen each other in so many years before Summer is actually kind of... reassuring to me? I guess in my mind, once they become consistent figures in each other’s lives then it becomes more difficult to understand why they aren’t together because it would progress into more. “What’s it been, four years?” / “Maybe more?” does not have to set their futures in stone, leaving no room for development.

I’ve probably said it before but the whole story of first, it was Rory offering Jess support when he was sorting himself out and lacking the stability for a relationship; then it’s Jess offering Rory support when she is sorting out her life and lacking stability is just a very compelling story for me! The parallels! The star-crossed aspect of it all! I would like to see it dot gif

[evilrobotsimp]

Weird Shit in the Castle Freak remake that I want to rant about

Spoilers in case anyone cares. also I talk about some r*pe scenes

There’s just a guy named ‘Professor’? It’s his nickname but everyone calls him that and never his actual name and sometimes they call him The Professor which is actually kind of cool imo this isn’t a big complaint

So the male lead is driving high and drunk and gets in the crash that blinds his girlfriend but she still stays with him? Idk

Oh and also the woman who lived in the castle before killed herself by whipping her own back??

Some weird guy is pretending to be the real estate agent or whatever but he’s actually the guy who freed the castle freak

The blind womans (I’m sorry I don’t remember any names) boyfriend buys drugs and his dealer wants to shoot up heroine in the castle by himself? so he does and then the freak kills him by stabbing him with multiple needles including in the eyes??

The blind woman is having visions and dreams of the previous owner who’s her mother who set her up for adoption but one of the visions is of her masturbating and whenever she has a vision her body kinda moves with whoever she’s seeing? So she’s like masturbating while having a dream of her mother mastrubating?? I hope I misinterpreted that scene somehow

The blind girl finds the necronomican in a closet

The couples friends come over to the castle to party and do drugs while The Professor and the blind woman read the necronomican and explore the castle

The male lead and his friends go into town and get told that the castle is evil and it’s all very cliche

The male lead is sick of his blind girlfriend so he gets super drunk and a girl in the friend group takes advantage of him and it’s very gross and she blindfolds and handcuffs him and while he’s blindfolded the freak kills her and r*pes the guy and he doesn’t notice that the girl was murdered and that the person riding him is the freak? and his friends find him alone covered in blood and tied up

It turns out the blind girl and the freak are twin sisters

So their mother was a victim of a cult and she was r*ped by a weird tentacle thing coming out of a guy’s stomach and she was forced to give birth to the main character and the castle freak

It’s all very gross and there’s so much unneeded r*pe.

And the blind woman’s boyfriend tries murdering the freak after she literally killed all his friends and his gf runs out to yell at him that she’s her sister and he can’t kill her so he tries to kill her?? Because her family is full of freaks?

Also there was a part where the Professor runs into the freak and fuckinh like guts or some shit straight up fucking fall out of her genitals and wrap around his neck and he like sees the other dimension or something

Uh I think the boyfriend dies? I don’t remember

The ritual is complete because the sisters reunited

And the sky turns into bisexual lighting and it honestly looked cool it’s the only part I liked

Cthulhu or something is coming? Idk

I think the freaks genital guts fell out again

And the blind girl gives birth to like a tiny lovecraft monster

Then there’s the Herbert west tie in which like?? Huh??

The Lovecraft Cinematic Universe is here folks

[tootyfrootycasbooty]

how do u think u are inspired by punk subculture and others like ska and alternatives... like i find it very cool and see u talk in ur blog, wanted to know more... do u have any recomendations? like films, books... anyway thanks have a nice day u r lovely!!

WOW big question with a big answer under the cut. lovely lovely elizabeth just did an interview w me for Berlin Art Link and i discuss punk & subculture & fandom in the context of my art practice and dissertation there!

 my dad brought me up on the music very young, little babby me in the car singing along to the clash and the specials....it’s always just been a part of how i see myself, and i struggled w it a lot more when i was younger, it didn’t exactly mesh with being a black preteen/teen in one of the Whitest parts of the country. i think it will always be an influence i carry with me thru fashion and music tastes, and it’s been really nice in the last 2 years to kind of rediscover that part of myself bc i stopped acknowledging it for a big long time. 

i am the most annoying defender of ska because The Internet has reduced this entire genre down to like...shitty third and fourth wave american ska which is ???? not even something i’ve ever really associated as ska, it’s so far removed. ska is a jamaican genre and it’s the precursor to rocksteady and reggae, and there’s a really interesting relationship between different subcultures in postwar britain who kind of transcend anti-black racism of the time to find common ground in black-british culture. a lot of that comes from ska - punk and skinhead culture have both been hugely whitewashed or misremembered by their more commercialised/infamous versions in the media, despite there being so much variance & nuance at the time, and when both were early in their incarnations they centred around ska and reggae. read: don letts, beautiful dreadhead brother/dj to the punks. my white dad introduced me to reggae bc he was punk, while my jamaican mum could not give a shit about it!! anyway i know more about 2-tone/second wave ska than the first bc i was obsessed w Ghost Town by the specials as a kid, and while writing my dissertation i realised how fantastic it is that was i was drawn to a genre that specifically marries black and white culture in britain through music, very audibly and visually too, and it’s just....overtly political while being outrageously fun....it’s very honest and timeless and now more than ever, it feels relevant. imo, ska was often hopeful/joyful (even if the lyrics weren’t necessarily) while punk was nihilistic. i think it’s also worth saying that british and american punk have very different histories and offshoots, even tho they happened at the same time and had many crossovers.

my recommendations, whew ok!

books: black by design - pauline black (AMAZING biography by singer of the selector, mixed race and adopted, i gasped so many times bc so many parts of this book reflected my exact feelings of discovering my own blackness, even tho our child & adolescent years were like...4-5 decades apart); lipstick kisses - greil marcus (very dense but mostly very interesting, altho it does go wildly off topic sometimes. comparing 20th century social history to medieval religious history etc. it’s wild. if u want an academic read about this is IT, the way he links the letterist & situationist international to punk is just *chefs kiss*....also in general v good commentary on how mass homogenous culture combined w a loss of true freedom via capitalism, eventually creates civil unrest like may 68 and punk.) and england’s dreaming - jon savage (the go-to history of punk, basically starting with malcolm mcclaren’s childhood and how his art school background combined w may 68 led to him & vivienne very consciously creating a stylised movement, but it rly covers a lot more than that)

more academic texts on punk: subculture, the meaning of style - dick hebdige (aka the very same bastard of I Love Dick); punk rock, so what - ed. roger sabin (this is a fantastic collection of essays on dif topics that u may not ever consider in relation to punk, but the ones on race, women, and commodity are fab...so good for solidifying the concept that punk existed beyond the sex pistols and was much more interesting than them too); i havent actually read any ska specific academic texts but i wld be interested to! also dayglo! the poly styrene story for my fave black punk leading lady

films & tv: this is england (of course...how i could i not...i implore u to watch the film and then each series bc the journey is spectacular & effortlessly shows how transient and changeable these subcultures could be as music and fashion and social circumstances change); farming by adewale akinnuoye-agbaje (big trigger warning for violent racism & internalised racism, so harrowing & worthwhile tho, i dont think it deserved the shoddy reviews it got...it rly undid me); dance craze by joe massot (2-tone documentary); sex & drugs & rock n roll (ian dury is great is often left out of punk conversations but he’s a big part of my childhood and stiff records was v influential to punk & post-punk)

just general good films abt subculture: northern soul (ive been going to northern soul nights since moving to london and the history is so interesting and i wish i could go back in time and BOOGIE my god it seems incredible....also see fiorucci made me hardcore, a video art piece by mark leckey); 24 hour party people; quadrophenia; the football factory (fun fact, my dad became a punk bc he didnt like football & was tired of being beaten up by footie fans lmao); velvet goldmine.

[jq37]

The Report Card -- Fantasy High Sophomore Year Ep 1

Sophomores and Spring Break 

Note: Hey guys! I decided to try something a little bit different and slightly more structured than my usual recaps for FH: Sophomore Year. I’m hoping this will be a little easier for me and a more useful tool for keeping up to date since there will be a lot more eps to keep track of and they’ll be easier to miss. Lemme know what you think and if you want raw, unfiltered opinions on anything specific, feel free to send me an ask. I’m always down to go off about literally whatever. 

We’re back, baby! It is Sophomore Year at Aguefort and the gang is on Spring Break. A lot is going down so lemme break it down. The Bad Kids, having defeated Kalvaxus last year, are all entitled to a share of his hoard and all the red tape is finally cleared so they all get 20k gold each (which is an insane amount of money converted to USD if you use the WOTC conversion rate of a gold coin being around $145 (circa 2006 when they answered the question)--which would be close to $330 with inflation). Jawbone and Sandra-Lynn are moving in after less than a year into a profoundly haunted house and it’s kind of a Full House situation because Adaine, Fig, Kristen, and Tracker all officially live there (plus it seems that Zayn has also anchored himself to Adaine’s tower--btw, Adaine took the tower that the haunted house obviously has) and you know all the other Bad Kids are gonna be there on the regular. 

More importantly, Aguefort gives the gang their big project for the year--finding the crown of the Nightmare King which was stolen at the end of last season--which is worth 60% of their grade (Adaine does a full Hermione at this information). Each of the gang has info about the NK but the trail has mostly gone cold. Luckily, Fabian just got a hot tip about where Falinel is keeping Aelwyn and she seems like a pretty good lead to start with since she was super tied up in the bad side of all the messiness of last year. Adaine is displeased to say the least. 

Going off to find the crown is super exciting story-wise for two reasons. First of all, it means the gang gets to hire, well, hirelings to help them and temporarily join the party! They ping basically every cool NPC they can think of (except for Tracker for some reason which is BONKERS because (1) she probably would have done it for free and cutting her in would still be keeping the money in the family, (2) she’s dope as hell, (3) she’s a cleric and the party can always use more healers, (4) she’s a werewolf so presumably she has skills that would help in the woods, and (5) they’re t r a c k i n g down a crown and the girl’s name is literally T R A C K E R, but I will not backseat D&D) and eventually end up with Ragh (who has been without an adventuring party all year, poor guy), Sandra-Lynn (swayed by a nat 20 rolled by Fig), Cathilda (!?) ,and, for some reason, Gilear (which Fabian is happy about, mainly for the opportunity to maybe bump him off on the way). Second of all, if you recall, Elmville is a pretty modern town but the rest of the continent is less fantasy high, more high fantasy. Horses and lanterns and all that pseudo-medieval goodness. They are gonna stick out like a sore thumb. I am very here for it. 

Everyone goes home to rest up but, after some ominous dreams, only four of them wake up. Riz and Fig are left asleep and then Brennan mic drops and ends the episode which is a power move and I am extremely upset about it but also, respect. Right for the jugular immediately. I heard Murph and Emily are on tour in the UK next week which probably has something to do with this but, in the moment, I did not know that and I really felt the hammer drop in my heart. It was wild. Cannot wait to see where we go from here. Plus, who doesn’t love watching characters freak out because their friends are in danger?

Random Thoughts

I have no idea what the title of this episode is or if it’ll even have one and not a number but I gave it a placeholder one for now. I also don’t have access to the stream yet so I didn’t get to include some info I wanted to (like a record of nat 20s, and nat 1s so I can track their stats for the school year) and I probably missed some stuff because my brain can only hold so much info guys. I’m not Brennan. 

I mentioned this yesterday during the stream, but there will never be anything better than the pure D&D joy of everyone, in character, talking over each other to clown on each other. They get the friend-group banter that’s a hair breadth’s away from bullying so true to life and it’s so fun to watch. On the flip side, the opening scene with everyone introducing themselves and affirmatively claiming each other as their best friends was also peak D&D. Found family= best trope. 

Fig and Adaine burn spell-slots at basically the same time to try and beat each other to the best room in the (Scooby-Doo ass) house--which is exactly the kind of thing that would happen in this world. It’s such an intuitive setting. I love it so much. (BTW, Fig ends up staying in the false space under the revolving grand piano because, of course).

Fabian and Gorgug went to recruit Ragh, who assumed they were propositioning him for a three-way. In his defense, they did do it in a super proposition-y way and they were in the middle of the LGBTQ student union.

Also, Gorgug gives Ragh an inspiring speech about thinking you’re your own dad which makes him burst into tears. 

Speaking of, Jawbone offhandedly says he’s poly but, like, based on some of the stuff he’s said, I feel like that’s not really a reveal. He also gets along well with Gorthalax and would be down w/ a three-way if Sandra-Lynn wanted to which, again, totally checks out. 

Arthur Aguefort uses Chronomancy to rewind time and catch a snide comment Adaine made under her breath, which is exactly the kind of frivolous use of God-like power I’d expect from him.  

I really love Adaine’s energy coming into this season. She’s in therapy. She’s in a good home environment. She’s comfortable enough with her friend group to do stuff like prank Fig (love that they’re gonna be living together now). And she’s good friends with Zayn now which I want to see more of based on their one interaction in this ep which was very cute. I am already on record as saying I would be down with her getting a ghost boyfriend--I mean, for the aesthetic alone--but I’d be happy with just more friendship. 

Fabian is also hilarious this season because you can tell he’s gone a bit soft from having friends and leaning into that (the friendship necklace with Riz) but also he’s fully aware that it’s happening so he’s, like, ping-ponging back and forth like, “These are my friends,” and, “What am I saying? I used to be cool,” and it’s very funny. Very happy the Aelwyn storyline is happening right out of the gate, both because I think Aelwyn is a very interesting character with a lot of potential for nuance but also because Fabian reacting to her and Adaine reacting to Fabian reacting to her is always gold. 

Prompted by an offhand conversation from Fig about rock and roll, Brennan--earning another feather for his Cap of God Tier DMing--goes on an impromptu five minute long improved diatribe about a bard who played such a good concert that it instantly impregnated everyone in attendance (dudes too) who gave birth to kids with sick rocker hair and denim jackets and ascended to Rock Heaven on their 18th Birthday. You truly have to watch it to believe it. At a certain point I thought he was gonna drop it but that was the moment he doubled down and kept going. Amazing. 

Watching Murph, in real time, make up a girl/boy/whateverfriend in Fantasy Canada was a gift. 

I don’t have access to the stream yet but best quote of the night that I can remember is Kristen choosing her room: This is triggering and I’ll take it. (Her line about her lesbian starter kit and the one about wanting a horse were also bangers). 

The group talks about what they’re going to do for transportation outside of Elmsville since they don’t really use cars out there and they somehow get from “disguise Fig’s tour bus” to “commission Aguefort to create a brand new animal that can hold six people plus hirelings, one of which is Fabian who is also riding his motorbike”.

I love that Sandra-Lynn’s Mom Powers work on Tracker. 

Basrar doesn’t accept the invitation to come with on the quest, but he does give Kristen a bag of infinite ice cream sandwiches, which is basically just as good, IMO. 

Oh Gilear. The man is sleeping in the Seacaster garage, being bullied by skater kids, and now he’s stuck on this quest with his ex and Fabian who actively wants him dead.  

Speaking of, I’m psyched to see more of Sandra-Lynn. She was kind of a sleeper badass at the end of last season. 

Ragh is keeping secrets which I hope the cast doesn’t forget because it could be nothing serious (like the high school drama happening with Skrank and the 7 maidens--maybe he’s just crushing on Gorgug who did full kiss him during Promocalypse) or it could be Serious Business that will blow up if the don’t stay on top of it. We’ll see. 

Oh, almost forgot. Adaine wants an emotional support frog. Every time I think I can’t love her more.   

Detention

Fig for Not Respecting Personal Boundaries

Fig goes full Emily right out the gate and, after finding out that Skrank (nerdy bird dude who apparently can get it) was not only dating Ostentasia (rich, popular dwarf) but also dumped her in pursuit of Danielle Barkstock (one of Ostentasia’s party members, the scandal), disguises herself as him with Danielle to figure out what’s going on. And, wouldn't you know it, when she gives herself away, Danielle immediately is shocked and appalled, as you would be, obviously. We also learn that she’s still catfishing Dr. Asha which is, how you say, for sure a crime. Fig, please, I’m begging you. Cease. 

Honor Roll

Fig, Riz, and Adaine for Researching the Nightmare King

Fig made both lists, look at that. Wasn’t my plan for this to be a three-way tie (also didn’t expect to use the word “three-way” this many times in this writeup) but I think their contributions were pretty much equally valuable. Rainsolo on the Discord wrote up this summary of the lore dump Brennan gave them.

[sigmaleph]

Book recs masterpost

y’all really came through here, thanks! Here’s a collected version, I will continue to update it if recs keep coming. Format will be a little inconsistent but I will try to keep books by the same author together and give the summary if it exists and who provided the rec.

Under a cut cause it gets long:

Gene Wolfe:

The Fifth Head of Cerberus

Three interconnected novellas about life on an authoritarian twin planet system where humans have apparently wiped out the natives. Superbly well written and thoughtful imo

rec by @femmenietzsche

Book of the New Sun 

rec by @napoleonchingon

Octavia Butler:

Dawn, rec by @empresszo, @typicalacademic

Parable of the Sower, rec by @st-just

Kindred, rec by @squareallworthy

Angelica Gorodischer:

Kalpa Imperial

epic fantasy in the style of conan the barbarian, we see the stories of an old empire in some nondescript country, a nondescript amount of millenia ago. small vignettes of different time periods within the country. very light in fantasy, basically an entire book of nothing but lore for a D&D campaign

Trafalgar

comedy sci fi. the life stories of a sales man, a guy who goes door to door selling whatever he can, except IN SPACE. all the stories are framed as him in his little bar in rosario with his friends or drinking mate, telling his latests adventures through space.

La saga de los confines by  Liliana Bodoc

lord of the rings except instead of taking inspiration from nordic folk tales is based on the american conquest. see fantasy races and cultures based on the native american population from south america. lots of poetry, lots of cool classic fantasy with a fresh new flavor

(Already read)

la batalla del calentamiento by marcelo figueras

the fantasy here is very understated to the point of it being magical realism but still my top three favourite book of all time. it starts with a man who suffers gigantism receiving a message from heaven delivered by a wolf speaking in latin. the most colorful and endearing little town with the most wacky of habitants open their arms to the guy who is desperatly in search of redemption

homestuck (by Andrew Hussie)

there is really nothing i can say about this that you havent already heard, so im not even going to bother. just give the first arc (which is about a hundred pages long) a change and see where it goes from there

All of the above suggestions by @fipindustries

Ada Palmer. Terra Ignota series (starts with Too Like the Lightning) (seconded by @youzicha)

(read the first one, have the second one but haven’t read it yet)

Jo Walton, Thessaly series (starts with The Just City)

Yoon Ha Lee, Machinaries of Empire series (starts with Ninefox Gambit) (seconded by @terminallyuninspired)

Ann Leckie:

Imperial Radch series (Starts with Ancillary Justice) (seconded by @youzicha and @squareallworthy)

Raven Tower

N. K. Jemisin:

Broken Earth trilogy (starts with The Fifth Season) (seconded by @typicalacademic)

Dreamblood duology (starts with The Killing Moon)

Seth Dickinson, Masquerade series (starts with The Traitor Baru Cormorant)

(Good rec, already read the first one)

Jeff Vandermeer, Southern Reach series (starts with Annihilation)

Victor LaValle, The Ballad of Black Tom

Tamsyn Muir, Gideon the Ninth

Arkady Martine, A Memory Called Empire

M. R. Carey, The Girl With All The Gifts

All of the above by @st-just

Le guin:

The Dispossessed, rec by @st-just, @youzicha

The Left Hand of Darkness, rec by @youzicha and @typicalacademic

both also seconded by @squareallworthy

(I love Le Guin, read both of these)

Zelazny: Lord of Light, rec by @st-just

Charles Stross:

Missile Gap.

A Colder War.

Peter Watts, Blindsight

Bruce Sterling, Heavy Weather. (I assume. There are multiple books named such)

All of the above by @youzicha

Fonda Lee, Jade City

Richard K. Morgan, Altered Carbon

Shining Path, more thorough rec here.

all by @typicalacademic

Lois McMaster Bujold:

the Vorkosigan Saga

(rec by @omnidistance, seconded by @squareallworthy. Already read all of them, excellent choice)

The Curse of Chalion, rec by @theorem-sorry

Greg Egan:

Permutation City

Orthogonal

above two and “anything else” by him, rec by @saelf

Diaspora, rec by @squareallworthy

The Clockwork Rocket

Physicist discovers relativity in a Riemannian (as opposed to Minkovskian) universe. Also the world is ending.

rec by @jackhkeynes

Chesterton, The Man Who Was Thursday

Dick, The Man in the High Castle

Gaiman, American Gods

Gibson, Count Zero

Heinlein, The Moon is a Harsh Mistress.

Liu, The Three Body Problem

Mitchell, Cloud Atlas

Niffenegger, The Time Traveler’s Wife

Niven and Pournelle, Footfall

North, The First Fifteen Lives of Harry August

Powers, The Anubis Gates

Wilson, Spin.

All of the above by @squareallworthy

Pratchett, Discworld books (going postal, thud!, unseen academicals, or the wee free men recommended by @acertainaccountofevents, Wyrd Sisters rec’d by @squareallworthy)

Neal Stephenson, Cryptonomicon & D.O.D.O.

Ted Chiang, Story of Your Life and anything else by him

To Say Nothing of the Dog by Connie Willis (also suggesting this review)

 C.J. Cherryh – The Faded Sun Trilogy.

Honestly not sure there’s anything groundbreaking or unique about it but a solid scifi tale with aliens and politics and it really fleshed out and made me empathize with all the opposing and strikingly different factions.

Taiyao Fujii – Orbital Cloud

A space-related technothriller, quite fun! If you liked the first 2/3rds of Seveneves you’ll probably like this.

Gwynneth Jones – Life.

Story of a woman trying to be the best biologist she can despite a lot of setbacks, bascially. Barely counts as science fiction, really, but I just really like Anna and Spence as characters and their relationship. This a very feminist book, at times quite preachy–but personally it came across as characters being preachy not the author, and therefore much less annoying, but ymmv.

Katherine Addison – The Goblin Emperor.

Fantasy high politics but nice? Like also pretty level headed but not grimdark like fantasy high politics usually is. Also love the worldbuilding, the linguistics, and my precious cinnamon role Maia who deserves good things.

The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet

River of Teeth by Sarah Gailey

the most tumblr print book I have ever read. TBH the cover blurb is better than the book but it’s a quick read and enjoyable.

Paolo Bacigalupi - The Windup Girl.

Ian MacDonald – The Dervish House.

The twenty-minutes-into-the-future setting has aged weirdly since it was written back when Turkey was trying to join the EU, but I reread it recently and the plot and characters are still compelling.

All of the above by @businesstiramisu

"James S. A. Corey", The Expanse series (rec by @justjohn-jj)

Mariam Petrosyan’s The Grey House

kids and minders in a boarding school for the disabled, their relationships and their setting. Mostly a coming-of-age thing but with a lot of weirdness and some fantastic elements. Extremely readable

Arkady and Boris Strugatsky:

Hard to be a God

Inhabited Island

Roadside Picnic

Stanisław Lem:

Fiasco

Cyberiad

Karim Berrouka’s Fées, Weed & Guillotines

what it says on the tin. Pretty fun. I would suspect his other fantasy mystery novel comedies are good too.

The Invisible Planets anthology

extremely hit or miss, but definitely has its hits.

Bernard Weber’s Les Fourmis

All of the above by @napoleonchingon

The Murderbot Diaries - Martha Wells

Sarcastic cyborg tries to avoid humans and watch entertainment media all day and perpetually ends up saving some. With all the snark.

rec by @rhetoricandlogic

The First Fifteen Lives of Harry August, Claire North

Guy is born in 1910s, dies at 80 or so… and is born again in the 1910s, and so on. Also the world is ending.

The End and Afterwards, Andy Cooke

A probe to Alpha Centauri, an idealist Nigerian biotechnician, a humdrum English family – and then the world ends.

Against Peace and Freedom, Mark Rosenfelder

50th century interstellar humanity is mostly doing okay. But socionomics doesn’t cover crises, such as the dictatorship that’s taken over Okura, or the unscrupulous tycoon who’s plotting something over on New Bharat. For that we have Diplomatic Agents. Like you.

all of the above by @jackhkeynes

Meta-recommendations:

worldswithoutend.com, their list of lists, and in particular, defining science fiction books of the 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s.

@squareallworthy

Jo Walton’s Revisiting the Hugos series. (by @businesstiramisu)

[whetstonefires]

"the top three of its forty floors are filled with brass telescopes of every size, pointing in every possible direction, including several that do not exist within the normal three dimensions of space." thats SUCH a cool image / "If any harvest will come." ooh i wonder whats going on / "The roofs are of red tile, the stucco of the houses painted in shades of blue. It stands empty, but has not had time to fall into disrepair." the little bits of detail getting added to the picture im LOVE (1/?)

I’m gonna do these all as one post but broken up for ease of reference, I think.

Thank you! 🥰 Deciding the theme for the Tower and giving it that visual anchor really helped to pull things together. If you consider the whole setup, it seems unlikely the Tower was originally built as an observatory, since those tend to benefit from height (especially if you’re looking around you rather than up, but for the up ones also) and the builders could easily have put it on top of a mountain or at least some hills, but instead put it by the river. It’s above sea level, and it’s away from light pollution, but there were better locations. Nearby.

So either it wasn’t an observatory, and it’s been refitted as one, or they had so many observatories they didn’t care about locating them optimally, there was some other factor making having the tower there important even if it was suboptimal in terms of observation capacity. Or, potentially, it’s been moved since it was built!

:} Yay thank for being interested by the foreshadowing. I tried to put just enough in without actively overshadowing the actual place-setting-up and making the reader impatient with the description. 

"If you look through an enchanted telescope you may see trees without needles fail halfway up the nearest of the great peaks, and even these fail before the top, though there is a span of nearly barren stone past that line, before the snow begins." you: mentions different plants living in different climates me: :0 / there's so much good description!! its all so pretty!! (2/?)

sflka;l;jlk i mean yeah, that’s pretty straightforward isn’t it. But! It establishes How Much Mountain it is visually rather than by saying ‘it was a big fucking mountain’ or ‘it was tall enough for the thinness of atmosphere near the top to create a small tundra region.’

o(*￣▽￣*)ブ

<3 Thank you! I kinda cut loose lmao.

"blocks veined with every color, pale blues and purples, reds and greens and golden-duns all mottling toward white and grey and black" god i want to live there so badly!! this tower is meeting all my standards!! cool pretty magic tower with rad telescopes!!! / "make a remark no one present understands about a Doctor named Seuss. His guide, the dousing tracker Amnaphi, will assume this person to be a famous astronomer from his homeland." im love!! misunderstandings about references!! (?/?)

💗💖✨ Yay! That’s an important feeling to create in fantasy, imo. The wanting. 

I really enjoyed playing with the standard forms for ‘thing made of marble’ here, because all these marbles really exist, but in spite of the existence of the word ‘marbled’ our narrative uses of it tend to be tied up with Neoclassical aesthetics. So very white and smooth, yeah?

Also idk if it’s obvious to the reader but this Tower is to some degree in dialogue with Orthanc, which made a great impression on my mind as a child as the iconic wizardly tower, and while I don’t disagree with any of Tolkien’s use of symbolism for the purposes he was deploying it, there’s so much potential in Isengard as a setting that LotR had no space to explore, even if Tolkien would have noticed those angles at all.

Like...the parkland around the Tower is shown being despoiled for the orcish war machine and then reconquered by the forest, but of course it wasn’t forest to begin with. What was it for before Saruman lost his shit? Ordered gardens, for peaceful contemplation? Who dedicated the space that way? Who maintained it? 

Did Saruman employ a gardener? Did he design his own gardens, or did they come with the keep, which we’re informed was built not by him but by the Numenoreans? 

(“I liked white better” is still one of the greatest lines in a fantasy novel, Tolkien does not get enough credit for his contextually hilarious one-liners that rely on pointed code-switching, but Saruman’s evil rainbow oil-slick robes also sounded really baller and it’s kind of a shame they were not attempted for the movie lol.)

The fact that this is a world designed around a kid getting portal-fantasied into it and staying for 30 years really gives me some options which are fun to deploy but also like. Risky lmao. Because it encourages the reader to surface from the setting-logic and apply their own perspective, which can really break up the magic.

Being able to zoom out on the Tower after all that detail and be like ‘it’s awesome but also it looks like something Doctor Seuss would draw’ was fun though.

"Within the even hexagon of its outer wall, the Tower encloses a great parkland, enough that if it was all put under cultivation it could easily feed as many people as could live in the Tower itself." the tower has PLANTS i love it so much / "Ten Years’ Winter" god PLEASE tell me this is going to get into the agriculture and society stuff game of thrones didn't about long winters that would be SO cool / "Watchers of the Stars" AND they have a cool name holy shit (?/?)

Plants are important! As is food supply. As everyone who’s been reading this blog for a while already knows I think lol.

I mean, it’s not about that, really? The Ten Years’ Winter is a historical event--the most recent meteor impact severe enough to have global climate fallout. The dust it kicked up took a while to settle, and the famines were pretty severe.

But the cultural consequences of something that happened a hundred and fifty years ago exist, and are important, including the relationship between governance and disaster preparedness, which varies a lot regionally as you may imagine. 

Astronomy has a long history as a wizardly sort of activity in the real world, both because it’s had continual overlap with astrology and just because the process has always been mystical and abstruse. In this setting, with a history of both devastating meteor impacts and being invaded from the Moon, but also actual magic, it’s got more obvious practical importance. Although since neither of these are remotely everyday occurrences, the average person on the street might not agree lol.

So it’s on the one hand a purely descriptive title, and on the other hand a serious boast, suggesting as it does that they are primarily responsible for Watching The Sky For Stuff. While also having broader philosophical implications and just sounding nice lol. 

You gotta have good marketing if you want to persist as a wizardly order, because if talented students aren’t motivated to come to you how will you gain new members? Natural replacement is not an ideal strategy to say the least. That’s how you turn into a cult instead of an intellectual powerhouse.

"The northern third of the Tower’s park contains neatly regimented orchards, apples, pears, plums, and a few rows of carefully tended peaches and apricots, all clipped flat against low brick walls angled south and slightly west." hhh t r e e s / "wizards, while enthusiastic about innovation in the abstract, hate change." me too, wizards. me too / "The Tower grounds are filled with refugees." ooh now we get to why everything was empty earlier (?/?)

Trees! Which are also food!

And technology lol. Greenhouses built against fruit walls with good insulation are so much more sensible than ones heated from inside. Obviously as a passive solar-powered technology these only work when the sun is available and not, for example, cut off by a giant dust cloud. 

These people are fairly acutely aware of their dependence on the sun and it figures prominently in a majority of their religions and their magical theory, even more than in ours.

There seems to be a mild consensus that the wizards are relatable. In truth: we are all wizards. :D

Yup! At long last lol.

"This division corresponds imperfectly to the usual split of the town by the course of the Meroda." because people!! take comfort!! in what normalcy they can find!! / "Makeshift pallets line the spaces between every fruit wall—the injured are being laid out here, now that the Tower is full, to get the benefit at night of the warmth meant to mature fruit." the awesome magic tower people trying to do everything they can for the injured who come to them for help in case i thought i couldn't be (?)

more in love / "Half of them are making ready to turn south along the Meroda." oh nooooo / "but the Moon People are the successors of the ancient magics, and just because they could not break the walls the last time they came, according to legend, does not mean they have not worked out a method now." im so worried for the people oh no (?)

Yeah! It really seemed natural. But of course they also aren’t recreating it obsessively; lots of people are grouping up with relatives who normally live across the river, or with people in the same line of work on the river, because people also adapt to circumstances.

No institution is ever perfect, of course, but I’m glad the Watchers have come across this way so far. They’re broadly well-intentioned and mostly well-organized.

And they were not ready for this.

A significant fraction of the reason for the order of the Watchers to exist at all, particularly in this observatory with its great eye fixed ever on the face of the green moon, is to be able to warn the world if this ever happens again. But the Moon People knew they were being watched, this time, and they kept all the build-up to mobilization that might have given them away on the far side of the moon until the last minute.

What the Magister is doing, as I hope was made clear or at least successfully indicated--I wish your commentary on the ending had come through!--is summoning what turns out to be an actual child from another world to do hero stuff.

Even if he’d gotten an adult that would be kidnapping someone to help with your problems, a routine element of the portal fantasy whose ethics have been addressed in a variety of ways, most famously ‘is Lion Jesus and always right.’ 

The reason they need a hero from another world is that the Moon People build a lot of their wards and their offensive and disabling magical attacks around a targeting system based on what planet people are from, because even though they’re originally from the same stock--they’re the descendants of ancient moon colonists who evacuated ahead of a major meteor impact somewhere approaching four thousand years ago--on a magical level having been born and raised on the planet or the moon makes a pretty huge difference. 

So no one can get into the place their magic space elevator is anchored and fuck it up so they can’t keep bringing troops and supply in and loot out. Their single supply line is their only strategic weakness, and they’ve taken appropriate precautions.

Getting someone in from a third location is the best idea anyone’s been able to come up with in the very limited time available. Since no one can figure out how to turn one of the Moon People against the cause they came here for, on short notice, when they aren’t even stopping to talk to anyone so far. Like, that’s clearly not going to happen.

Heron Yl Fanult isn’t unaware that it’s ethically questionable, but he’s doing it anyway.

So I’m glad the ominous imminent oncoming of the Moon People can really be felt, because that atmosphere is fairly essential context for the decisionmaking going on at the top of the Tower.

"Young wizards sit in their bunks, six each to rooms that were previously individual, and hold lighting cupped dancing in their palms." a quick break from being worried to point out that this is rad as hell / "some with their heads decorously covered..." cultural differences!! especially with regional purposes like the Hedro!! 

Thank you! 😆💖 I thought so too lol. 

It also establishes the parameters of the magic system a little more. Throwing lightning bolts is pretty iconicly high-powered, right? And here it’s what most of the student wizards are practicing in anticipation of a battle, because most of them aren’t specced into combat and this is actually one of the easier lethal spells to master, especially if you have an academic background.

‘Electrocute’ isn’t a very flexible spell and it’s easy to lose control of, but it’s actually easier than, say, ‘set on fire to a significant degree in a non-electrical manner’ because concentrating a lot of heat in a certain location takes a lot more brute force than encouraging ionization. 

You can pull most of the actual destructive force for the palm lightning spell out of the physical air and/or earth if you grasp the principles, which is much easier than channeling a comparable amount of magic directly because it doesn’t have to go through you. 

The limiting factors on magic in this setting are how much power you can tap into and how much of it you can actually use without hurting or killing yourself. It’s not usually a lot, though the amount can be increased by things like choosing your workspace, prepping your workspace, and a whole lot of practice and meditation and things like that.

Magical traditions that get bundled under the heading of wizardry tend to focus on force multiplication, obtaining enough contextual understanding of a subject to make whatever power is applied go further. This means a lot of studying theory and using magic to make observations (such as the existence of microorganisms and their connection to disease) and often results in making clever devices based on what you’ve learned that may not actually wind up being magical at all. 

Which is why the solar greenhouse proposal is considered ‘more wizardly’ than the fruit walls, which are wizardly in the first place even though the technology is pretty widespread at this point--it’s carried the principle of minimizing the energy you have to invest to get the result you want to the logical conclusion, where you don’t have to do any magic at all, you just set up the situation and get out of the way and the sun will do the work for you.

Other schools of magic, particularly religious ones, are more likely to emphasize just getting better at handling energy for yourself, which tends to yield a lot more in the way of immediate practical dividends and in a lot of quarters wizards who don’t do something obviously practical like physic or smithcraft with their theoretical background are considered crackpots or dilettantes 

An impression helped along by the fact that being taken on as a student of wizardry at a basic level tends to focus more on your reading comprehension than your ability to actually do any magic, so in places where religious and wizardly institutions coexist the most talented students have a tendency to gravitate toward the religious life. This is particularly marked in areas religiously dominated by the Compact of the Golden Circle, wherein full ordination is contingent on being able to pull off certain fairly hefty rituals, so if you aren’t physically or mentally up to that kind of magical heavy lifting your religious career will stall out in one of the lay fraternities. In some of the cities on Sutouchel, the landmass to the southeast where the Compact is based, a slang term for wizard is ‘sanctum washout.’

But of course force multiplication is something that can scale up pretty far, and studying theory doesn’t stop you from also putting work into your practical skills, and not having talent isn’t the only reason someone would choose not to seek out a clerical career, if it’s even an option. Religion along the Meroda is pretty localized; communities tend to have local deities who correspond to a natural feature like the nearest mountain or the river or something, and if that deity rates a fulltime shrine the keeper also tends to be the major local medical provider, and since the wizards got settled in at the Tower it’s become pretty popular for shrinekeeping families to send their kids there for a year or two to get some educational polish in addition to what their parent already emphasized.

So depending on where you live and what your personal experience has been you’re going to have very different ideas about what wizards are good for.

Hrm. I’ve gone on a tangent. But that wound up taking so long you came back! :D I love it when being turtle works out in my favor.

Or was this actually the meta I was supposed to be doing in the first place? Aaaaa who knows.

im fairly confident you said eight asks survived so this is number nine? anyways onwards! "The hale survivors of the First Battle of the Second Descent sit waiting in their leathers, jack-chains and helmets laughably inadequate armor against the coming danger, and yet the best hope now just as they were on Carun Tol once the wizard fell" i have a lot of emotions about how their best bet is also a terrible bet but its all they have (9/?)

Yes 8. 

Woo, thank you! ^^ & I love that you described it that way because that also describes the ‘summon alien’ spell Yl Fanult is casting and echoing the same emotional theme throughout the scene was very much the goal here.

"Threads have escaped from the braids pinned across the top of her skull: she has not had the chance to take them down for two days." god just the continuation of how desperate everything is / "He leans forward to peer through the narrow glass that has been turned on its articulated base to face the middle of the room, and relaxes very slightly. At least there has been no catastrophic alteration there, either." what does that one do id assume theres no approching army in the middle of the room -

:D Yeah, the fact that one of the chief medics available is already overworked to the point of neglecting nonessential personal hygiene and the enemy isn’t even here yet I hoped would resonate.

Well, remember how some of the telescopes at the beginning point in directions not included in the normal three dimensions of space? :}

- "trained as it long has been upon the face of the moon" also forgot to mention their enemies being from the moon is Rad As Hell / "He snaps his fingers for a spark that falls into the deep circular groove full of distilled spirits, and steps through that as well. He is not burned." ooooh whats he doing / "At his feet lie a glittering piece of gold ore, a moonstone, and a carefully sanded round of pumice." i see the connection to the moonstone bc moon army but i wonder about the others -

Thank you! It took a fair amount of poking before I decided it was a solid approach; it provides just enough physical alienation that there’s no direct cultural relationship and you can have that ‘everyone in the entire world Disliked That’ vibe, without needing to create any complicated magical and cultural explanation for such a long run of isolationism. They were out of contact because they were On The Moon.

Also I really get a kick out of putting space invaders in a fantasy setting in a way that stops just short of turning into sci-fi.

I’m glad the ritual lead-up is exciting! Even if the foreshadowing wasn’t as obvious as I thought it was lol. That’s fixable. 

Gold is for the sun, moonstone is yeah for the moon lol (although in other circumstances people also use jade, because it’s been a long time since the moon was uniformly silver on account of it having been terraformed a few thousand years ago) and pumice is for the world--it’s a stone full of air that floats on water, so it’s popular as an anchoring device for rituals that call on all three local celestial bodies.

"He cannot take much time. He has only until the ring of fire dies." whats he doingggggg / anyways i love this so much!! the descriptions are gorgeous and im so invested in all of everything!! i hope you write more im so curious about it all!! 

XD Ok I covered this already, I would have saved it for down here or Been Mysterious if tumblr hadn’t eaten the last few asks the first time lol. Thank you so much again! For encouragement! Before and now! I’ll try! To keep it going!

Here’s hoping this successfully posts, tumblr just kicked me onto New Dashboard again and disabled the turn-it-off button, so now my alternate posting strategy is borked up too. 🤞😅😘

[rockettransman]

MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT ROCKETMAN

I HAVE SO MANY! HERE WE GO!

prelude: i went into this movie pretty jaded and not thinking i was gonna like it. in my head, i got john lennon and elton john confused. i was thinking it was about john lennon. “oh god, they made a movie about that prick?” further, i was already dreading it because they play EJ’s hits on the radio at work all the time, and frankly i was fucking sick of tiny dancer and im still standing. when i watched the trailer i was like “aw geez, elton john sings these? damn, i was hoping i could tolerate him at all.” so. not many high hopes for this movie.

that was until i was on a six hour flight from boston to portland, oregon, and i was delirious with pain and boredom. i was sat in the middle of a father and daughter, and so i really didn’t wanna pull out my laptop and get in their space. reading the subtitles from the office off the airplane tv made me sick. the lights were off and it was 2 am, so no reading. i. was. BORED. and then, i saw someone watching something in the row in front of me. where i was sitting i got a whole view of their screen. oh, they were watching that elton john movie. they didn’t have subtitles on, so i could only take from visual and context clues what was happening. it looked flashy, and oh-- that man just stared lovingly, tenderly into another man’s eyes. oh shit. oh yeah. elton is gay. 

now i’m hooked. if i’m anything, i’m a trans man in a desperate search for a complex queer romance movie. i wanted something that would pull on my heartstrings, that would wreck me emotionally with a high reward. suddenly elton is staring at himself in full garb, putting on and taking off his glasses. smiling then frowning. glasses on. smile. glasses off. scowl. oh he’s in distress. oh, is he snorting coke? okay, cool, tight.

from here on out, i watch the movie with (no audio) the predisposition that elton is in severe distress, dealing with drugs and self-sabotage all because his feelings and attraction towards men are confusing and frustrating and he doesn’t know how to cope with them. is he in denial? does he hate himself for it? does he try to make himself attracted to women? obviously, i was incorrect. elton was pretty secure in the fact that he was gay in his personal life. 

i think about rocketman for days until my flight back to sarasota. i decide to watch rocketman on the plane back instead of renting it. but for some reason, my goblin brain told me to rent it, and i did. but i ended up just watching it on the plane anyway.

i was disappointed. really, kinda bummed about it. every article and review said it was R for a reason. there was plenty sexual content and drugs to do elton’s real life comparison justice. in the movie i watched, i saw none of it. there was some drinking of alcohol, he took pills, it was implied he snorted coke. i saw no kissing, no intimacy, not even a tender hand on a cheek or embrace between elton and another man. this movie was praised for being so groundbreaking! for representing so much of what elton’s life was really like, with drugs and sex and all that. and now that i thought about it, i heard not one curse word. “bloody” was tossed around a lot, but that is used as an inflection. and during the pool scene before he throws himself in, when he meets john at the deck, he spits something about “his secretary shagging him in front of the pool boys.” that had me in utter confusion. there... was no one there with john? he was just sitting there? must’ve been something i missed.

SO IT TURNS OUT THE AIRPLANE’S VERSION OF THE MOVIE WAS HEAVILY CENSORED. i watched the real thing when i got home yesterday and was FLOORED by the differences in the same movie i had just watched. in the scene where elton remarks he’d like to change his name, they completely edited out the character behind him peeing into a glass bottle. they also cut out the scene where elton is staring at the performer, being yelled at to close the door, and the kiss where he’s pinned against the wall. holy fuck. i realized when i saw that, i had missed something MAJOR. this meant i was missing some MORE major explicit, probably important-to-the-plot-and-character-development stuff. oh, now i was excited. 

(we could talk all day about the fact that a single kiss between two men was cut because it was deemed “too explicit”, and in a movie about elton john being the ultimate irony)

the sex scene AND take me to the pilot were completely missing in the airplane version. i had no idea this song existed! oh my god, it was a banger! i cried tears of happiness during the song. holy shit. the tense energy between he and john, standing there silhouetted by the window, and then all of a sudden they’re all over each other, fingers tangled in hair, moaning into each other’s mouths, squirming, trying to get as close to each other as possible. this is what i wanted. this is what i was looking for. not because i was looking for something “hot” or “dirty.”’ i wanted an intense sex scene because then i knew it was real. i wanted the desperation, the nerves, the tender way they cradled each other, and how they went to town on each other. it was elton’s first time being intimate with a man, and it was such a nerve-wracking, intense, lustful, desperate moment. taron and richard absolutely nailed it. The swaying and the leaning into each other, the grabbing and nuzzling and all of a sudden they’re all over each other... it honest to god moved me. not to sound too “grew-up-baptist”, but sex, especially the first time you have it is so special and intimate and personal and important (imo). i know all the times i’ve had sex, it was a very, very special moment to me, and i wholly and completely trusted my partner then. i was so happy elton could find security and love and a heckin good time in bed with another man. it must’ve felt so freeing.

This was between two men! In the smack dab of the AIDS crisis in like 1975 or some shit! If being queer is this fucking tough in 2019, imagine what it was like in 1975!! MILLIONS of people were left to die by eat-shit Raegan who say by and said “aw that’s cute.” MILLIONS of people died for loving who they love!! That’s fucked man!! Seeing a triumphant moment like this in the middle of what was happening and what it could mean for Elton and his career just rly got me ya know

my entire perspective of the movie changed from then on. i was excited to see what else i had missed. in fact, some of the songs weren’t bad. maybe i’d like some of elton’s stuff after all?

i missed the scene in the closet. on the airplane, he followed john into the closet and shut the door. the scene cut. but in the real version, suddenly john pinned him against the wall, mirroring the scene of the first kiss i missed, and elton lamely stutters he wants dinner with him, not a sexual act john was certainly looking for, and in the next moment he was hungrily snapping at his finger. i missed exactly how much coke elton snorted. i missed entire scenes and nuances that provided so much to the story. man, i was angry i missed all this. i was cheated.

when i finished the real version, my perspective on the movie, and elton, and his music, had spun an entire 180. i dug it. i listened to rocket man on repeat during the entirety of my forty minute run. i fell asleep listening to the soundtrack. i woke up today listening to it, and have been through the whole day. i have not been able to get this movie off my mind. im watching it for the third time right now.

WELCOME TO THE THIRD POINT OF THIS POST!

if you made it this far, thank you. what i wrote feels so important to me. someone needed to hear it. I WANNA TALK ABOUT THE ENTIRE ROCKETMAN SCENE. I have PTSD with psychotic features. This means that under the right triggers, i hallucinate, visually or auditorily (is that a word), things that aren’t there. sometimes they’re scary, connected to my past trauma, but sometimes, they’re hazy outlines of good people who i think i know. i also deal with all the lovely things that come along with ptsd, including dissociation. pretty much any and everything can trigger me in a specific way. the pool scene was incredibly difficult to watch. seeing a little boy playing piano underwater, him sinking and hovering and singing along, and people slowly descending, dancing in the water until they retrieve him. the vision snaps apart and holy fuck elton is in trouble. (as an aside, that’s one of my favorite affects of film: the protag is under the influence of something, whether it be a hallucination, drugs, in a deep fantasy, or just otherwise a storytelling device, and he is in imminent danger. the audience is aware he is in imminent danger. the protag, however, is cool and chillin and hanging out, not aware or bothered, and maybe this is where a major character arc beat hits. in an instant, they’re pulled out of it, and we--the audience and the characters--are hit with how dire the circumstances really are.)

Suicide is a super sensitive subject to me. when he mumbled “i’m going to fucking kill myself” and plunged into the depths, my throat constricted. it was a difficult few minutes, but i held my breath, gritted my teeth, and paced myself through it. despite the sheer terror and panic that was racing through my brain, the entirety of it was so beautiful. the bright blues, whites, and blacks of the pool lighting and bubbles decorating him, the flow of his--forgive him, i don’t know if there’s a cultural name--outer garment, how curious and confused he looked as he watched his younger self do something he did now, and the people twirling through the water, reaching out, and eventually snatching him up until we’re suddenly in the present--dude, the cinematography of the entire first verse is so, so breathtaking. the scene in the ambulance and getting his stomach pumped was a bit too graphic for me (i could feel a flashback/hallucination creeping on; sometimes i can’t tell them apart.) but it was all done so smoothly. when they lifted him up, spun him around, undressed and dressed him all in one fluid motion, i lost my fuckin mind. i rewound it several times to just watch that sequence. the pain, reluctance, and exhaustion in his face right before he was handed his bat and exuberantly entered the stage was so intense it was palpable. my heart ached for him deeply. it’s allll about putting on a mask of being truly happy and well, when just before that, he had tried to fucking kill himself. how fucking heavy is that shit?

the downward spiral kept me on the edge of my seat. honky cat was funky as hell, and i loved the little tiny moments and gestures towards each other. maybe john and elton truly cared for each other for mere heartbeats before it all went south. he was hurting so bad and ruining everything and in such denial i wanted to throttle him by the shoulders to scream “LOOK WHAT YOU’RE DOING! YOU BIG FUCKING IDIOT!” he was constantly suffering, doing more coke and drugs than i thought a person could keep in his system. the suicide attempt, the fantastic Dodgers show, the night and day between his outward appearance and his actions, all of it was so gripping. the group therapy medium through which the story was told was insanely cool, too. i thought at first it was a bit cheesy, but it worked. i loved that he confronted everyone who had hurt him, and who he had hurt, and reconciled. i loved that as the major plot beats went on, his clothes eventually toned down in loudness, mirroring how the story was going along in real time. he went from having an explosive outburst, to levelly confronting his parents, and firmly insisting they not treat him like that anymore. they didn’t have the right. we could see how he’d grown through several different literary elements. the fact that it was laid out so plainly really helped me, someone who is dumb as fuck and constantly misses nuances like that.

it’s so disheartening to see elton’s first love was someone who was aggressive, non-interested, and who refused to listen to him.

(im at the pinball wizard scene, and holy shit this tune fucks)

at the end of the day, when i had thought the movie fell through so many expectations, i watched the real, authentic version and was so, so happy with how it turned out. it was much more honest than what i had thought it was. when the credits rolled, and it said he and his husband David Furnish had been happily married for 25 years, the tears really started coming. Elton did it. He survived through all the shit he put his body through, all the heartache and loneliness and terrible isolation and suffering, and he won. He got what he always wanted. A man who loved him deeply, purely, passionately, and properly. 

i haven’t shut up about elton john for days. i’m kinda baffled how something gripped me so intensely, when i had written it off as stupid just a day before this. thank you for reading. i’m sure i forgot a lot of things i wanted to express, but hopefully i got something across. let me know if you read this, please. if you made it all the way down here, i owe you like $5. drop me your venmo.

thank you for reading. this movie touched me in a way i didn’t think was possible. thank god for elton john. thank god for his perseverance. thank god for his story, giving me and millions of others hope that happiness will come. recovery is possible. healing is possible. you just need to reach out first. thank you and goodnight.