#they talk so weirdly on text pls T-T

[definitelynotnia]

why do dads text you like you're their coworker- my dad texted me on whatsapp to inform me he has emailed me

father in christ you could directly just text? this email could have been a dm

[ak8shi]

FWB HQ Boys: In which you beat the player at his own game!

warnings: Time skip spoilers, mentions of sex(all characters are 18+), alcohol, stupid people in love

a/n: ahh I’m sorry I’ve been a little MIA!!! But I’m back with this pls enjoy ! I think the fandom really make germaphobia his only personality trait sometimes which makes me sad because I think he’s actually a quirky/classy dude and very functional in social situations,, I hate to say it but ya’ll would get played by him… sorry.

━Sakusa Kiyoomi

Some of you may be like ???? Omi fucks around ?? how ?? BUT he definitely does in his own way

He probably doesn’t do much in high school to be honest, he’s mostly focused on improving as a volleyball player and achieving his goals

Once he reaches pro level though,,, it’s a different story lmfao

I can see him being picky as hell about his hookups, but just because he’s a bit of a germaphobe doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel attraction or doesn’t have needs…

….He’s so hot too… girl

His hook-ups are always taken seriously though… like he’s the type that feels like he has a professional image to upkeep, so he always arranges things beforehand; he’s definitely not messy about it and sets clear boundaries

I think what makes him kind of a player is how standoffish he can be…and he doesn’t really give anyone a chance because he doesn’t think they what it takes to deal with his lifestyle lmao

He’s just like, its easier to call the uber right after, get into the shower, and wait until he can hear the front door of his apartment shut I’m screamingg

Sakusa also isn’t one to kiss and tell, even with the boys… he doesn’t think its tasteful and would rather not have Atsumu up his ass about his flings

ANYWAYS,, let’s get into this, so you know Atsumu through mutual friends and met during college, and the two of you just instantly clicked since you also were a part of the same sports medicine program as him

Atsumu signed with MSBY and you were so happy for him, but you were bummed because you were busy with PT graduate school and couldn’t really attend any of his games

A year passed and you found yourself texting Tsumu to see if he could meet up and grab coffee since you were on winter break!!

You: hey I’m back in town wanna grab coffee sometime?

Him: who is this

You: I see you haven’t changed ❤️

LMFAO, so you catch up with Atsumu and he talks about his new career and his teammates, he seems so happy :(( we love to see that!!

He invites you to MSBY’s game the following weekend, and you’re pumped to go!! Tsumu got you great seats, and he meets you before warmups to make sure you’re okay finding your way around

Atsumu: don’t take yer eyes off me <3

You:

He’s so…

You’re enjoying the match and you even go to grab Onigiri from Osamu’s stand, but you can’t seem to look away from number 15 on Atsumu’s team

He’s .., scrumptious to say the least 🥴

Like he’s so composed and calculated on the court, and you find it so funny how he rolls his eyes whenever Tsumu says something to him and how Tsumu gets so heated about it 💀

The match ends and you go down to meet Atsumu near the lockers, showing the security your family/friend pass 😌

You walk through the halls trying to locate the setter, but you can’t seem to figure out where he is

The only person in the hall is the tall, dark haired man that caught your eye earlier; he is already walking towards the exit with a mask covering his face, his duffel bag slung over his shoulder, sweats embroidered with “Sakusa” adorning his body we’re all looking..... respectfully

He’s truly so intimidating but you’re like….highkey lost… so you don’t really have another option

You catch up with him, poking his shoulder gently; he turns around and his attention on you is almost STARTLING.. like his eyes are SO dark

Him: can I help you

You: sir… if you don’t rail me, I’m gonna have to intervene‼️😈😹

After getting over your initial shock, you hear multiple footsteps rumbling down the hallway towards the both of you

Sakusa lets out an annoyed sigh, muttering about how he has to go, but before he can escape you hear Atsumu’s loud voice LMFAO

“OMIIII, where are you goin’? Its team karaoke night remember?”

Tsumu sees you and slings an arm around your shoulders, “Oh-? So I see you’ve met our outside hitter Omi?”

You glance over at Sakusa, his expressionless eyes glued to your face, then slowly trailing down to analyze the way Atsumu casually has you tucked under his arm

Atsumu nudges him, and he grumbles that he’ll meet them after changing at home before walking off in the direction of the private parking garage

You meet the rest of the MSBY boys in the uber, and find them super friendly and welcoming; Bokuto and Hinata buy the first round of drinks at the karaoke bar, but you only have one because you have work to finish the next day WE STAN

Atsumu already has a pink glow setting into his cheeks when you see the boys turn their attention to Sakusa walking through the front door, looking as handsome as ever in his dress pants and fitted white t shirt

They all shout out incoherent hello’s, and he takes the only open seat next to you with a glass of gin and tonic in his hand he smells so good god

You’re unsure what comes over you, but you find yourself turning towards him, and you just start asking him about himself and his career, and surprisingly he’s very polite and much more animated than you previously thought

His voice is like…so alluring and he never looks away from you when you talk, its like he’s absorbing every word

Meanwhile, Atsumu is stumbling over the stage with Bokuto belting Love by Keisha Cole LMFAOO😭

Tsumu kind of ‘warned’ you in the car ride over that Sakusa was a germaphobe, but you know that Atsumu tends to invade people’s personal space sometimes and it probably wasn’t as dramatic as he made it out to be

However, you weren’t expecting the outside hitter to lean over from his seat after checking the time on his phone, whispering in your ear, asking you if you wanted to meet him at his place later than night WHEW

Girl I would be sweating… and you say yes ofc because who’s going to pass up this type of opportunity-

He gives you a charming smile and is like,, okay cool, I’ll see you later then 😊 I’m dead

Ya’ll exchange phone numbers and he’s like if you need any help with my idiot teammates let me know before he takes off

You don’t tell Tsumu about your little… entanglement plans dsnjaknda but honestly he wouldn’t even remember based on the way he’s slumped against you in the uber he owes you big time

You get home after dropping off Tsumu at Osamu’s, and operation dick appointment with the professional volleyball player is put into action 😈

He sends an uber over to get you ladies do not settle for less please, and you’re BIG nervous but in a good way as in you know this dick is about to be bomb af

SO you’re standing in front of his apartment door, and when he opens it, he’s still in the clothes he wore to the bar and its like 1 am he’s so powerful

Um I feel like he would get straight to it honestly, probably starts with a little convo on the couch and then…

YOU WEREN’T AWARE HE WAS SO DIRTY,,, it was SO good too like after getting home that night you’re going through a crisis… like you had so much chemistry together for having just met, and you wonder if he feels the same way🥺

You caught yourself in sleepless states some nights, kept awake by the thoughts of the way his hands felt against your skin, the way his five o’clock shadow gently rubbed against your face when you kissed, and how he would hold you(only after a thorough shower together of course)

As it happens more and more, he lets you into his life little by little, and you notice and remember small facts about him and he often remembers a lot of the things you tell him about you, its really enjoyable for both of you

Its weirdly domestic to a point but that’s why its so good for both of you???it adds a bit of spice ??

Sakusa: can you come over tonight

You: sorry the retainer is in already <3 no dick sucking for me tonight <3

Him: I bought pastries from that cafe you like

You: say less✈️ I’m coming💃

AND he HAS jokes okay, like he’s funny as hell and very witty when his true self comes out; but he’s also a HUGE tease and he’ll say something completely straight-faced that someone else might take offense to like “you look ugly,” but you just know he’s kidding from being around him long enough and from seeing the little glint in his dark eyes

It becomes a routine thing while you’re home honestly, and you try your best to hide it from Atsumu because you just KNOW you would never hear the end of it; for all he knows, you met him that one time at the bar and that was that

Everything is going smoothly until you slip up at one of their games

You were sitting in the waiting area with the team (mostly talking to Atsumu), when he just says something that makes your short circuit

Atsumu: what kind of animal do ya think omi would be? An octopus maybe?

You: yeah I mean with those flexible wrists it makes sense

Atsumu: what the fawk🤠

He’s like… how do you even know about his flexible wrists IT TOOK ME 6 MONTHS TO GET TO THAT STAGE WITH HIM-

Oops, lmfao so you kind of tell him about everything and he’s literally shocked for you, mostly because he doesn’t want you to get hurt :(

Atsumu: So I see he’s just sleeping with ANYONE anyone

LMAO noo he definitely thinks you’re too good for him and he kind of lectures you, telling you that he had a hunch that he messes around with girls like that, but also you’re an adult and you can take care of yourself, and it isn’t like it’s a serious thing!!

Meanwhile, Omi is like going through a bit of a crisis all alone because everything around him reminds him of you or something you said when you were together

He got with people who were compatible sexually often, but he never had the urge to have them stay over after the deed; he usually immediately called them an uber and wouldn’t speak to them again

He found himself thinking about seeing you in the stands at his games, wishing you were there to cheer for him only, and he adored the way you respected his boundaries unlike many of his hookups

Atsumu probably notices something is off with him at practice

Atsumu: hey…if ya ever want to talk about somethin’-

Sakusa: no

Girl… he doesn’t disclose any of this to anyone

Its nearing the end of your break, and you head over to sakusa’s for probably the last time before you go back to school

You’re kind of at the point where you don’t think anything will happen and you know you shouldn’t get your hopes up, and it goes how it usually goes? Except he kind of hugs you goodbye and your heart goes: 🦋🦋🦋

You go back to school, occasionally texting Tsumu about your graduate program, and before you know it, like 5 months pass by and you’re back for summer!

Tsumu texts you and is like… sorry but I’m forcing you to be my plus-one tonight for this dinner thing I have to go to

So you dress up and he comes to pick you up, and you’re really not sure why you were surprised to see Kiyoomi sitting at the table when you arrive you give Atsumu a nice smack on the back of the head for not warning you

You sit down at the table after greeting everyone, trying your best to not act awkward when you shoot sakusa a small smile that he returns politely (but you don’t see it because of his mask)

Atsumu sits weirdly close to you the entire dinner with his arm around the back of your chair, and he’s just acting strange in general??? Like he’s bragging about your degree program and about your accomplishments, you just know he’s trying something funny; but you don’t really say anything because you don’t want to disrespect him in front of the team’s staff as a guest

You almost choke on your wine and you catch on when Bokuto starts making comments after Atsumu says something,

Atsumu: …so yeah, pretty much she should be our next president in my humble opinion

Bokuto: 🙈WOAH. WHAT?😍 HOW COULD SHE GET ANY BETTER⁉️🙄 OR HOTTER⁉️💪🏼💋

You, sitting there: 🧍‍♀️

He’s so bad at acting I’m crying..,, it becomes so obvious that they’re trying to make Kiyoomi jealous

(the boys plotted beforehand, trying to get Omi to ask you out officially; after you left, he literally would never shut up about you whenever Atsumu mentioned you, and it was just obvious he was in his feels when it came to you)

Atsumu: she’s studying at a café tonight for finals

Sakusa: Yeah so I’m glad you brought it up, because I’ve been thinking about it for days. Fine I guess I’ll say it. Her favorite coffee blend is French roast and she only likes a dash of sugar with a lot of cream, but it has to be hazelnut creamer or else she doesn’t like any-

Everyone in the gym: 🗿

LMAO ANYWAYS ITS LOWKEY WORKING you look over at him and his face is like stone.. girl..

The dinner is almost over and Atsumu gets up to go to the restroom with a wink I hate him, and you get up to catch a breath of fresh air outside

You sit on a bench for a minute, calming yourself down after the eventful dinner, but then you see the door to the restaurant swing open, Sakusa looking around the corner before spotting you

Your heart pounds in your chest as he walks over and asks if he can join you, inspecting the bench before sitting down, pulling his mask down as well

He eases into a conversation by just asking you how you’re doing, basic stuff, but then in the middle of you going off on a tangent about your stupid professor, he stops you

“I missed you.”

He crosses his legs, not looking at you as he takes your hand, intertwines it with his, and places it in his lap

You gaze at him, taken back at his confession, noticing the slight pinkness tinging his pale cheeks

You say you missed him too, and then he’s asking you if you would like to go on an actual date with him

You: wait are you asking me out officially?

Him: Yes. No I’m not. Yes I am❤️

SKSLD Please he’s awkward help him a little, you agree and then you hear a tap on the window behind you, you turn around to see Tsumu, Bokuto and Adriah behind you with big grins on their faces LMFAO 🤡

Kiyoomi rolls his eyes, but you don’t miss the small upturn of the corners of his lips as he hears Bokuto happily scream through the glass

[sophiewritesworld]

Don’t mess with her boyfriend | Montgomery de la Cruz

Requested by anon (a while ago) : You & your blog are both amazing I have so much love❤️ could u pretty pls do a Monty x reader, her ex comes back to Liberty and approaches her trying to get back together totally ignoring Monty’s presence, obviously Monty gets annoyed and tells him to get lost, her ex starts dissing Monty.. let’s just say she’s a feisty one and nobody messes with her baby EVER, so she starts defending him and maybe even throws in a slap lol but that’s your call to make.. xx

Word count : 1.1k words.

 As you walked inside the crowded hall of Liberty, you felt some students weirdly stare at you but you just ignored it and walked over to your locker to get your books out for the day. You had a lot to do this week including convincing your parents to let you go to Jessica’s party on Friday. You were so deep in your thoughts until somebody pulled you out of them.  “Hey babygirl” You smiled and leaned back until your back gently collided with your boyfriend’s chest as he wrapped his arms around your waist. “I missed you.” He whispered to your ear before kissing your cheek. You turned around, grabbing the front of his shirt to steady yourself and kissed him, soft and slow. 

“De la Cruz, (Y/L/N), lay it off!” Kevin Porter shouted from across the hall, dragging the attention of most students around on you. Nothing unusual. 

“I missed you too.” You whispered against his lips before moving away to close your locker. By the time you turned around, your eyes landed on somebody who shouldn’t have been in Liberty. “You have to be kidding me…” 

“And that’s what I wanted to tell you.” Montgomery sighed. 

Your mood went from extremely happy, even though nobody is extremely happy on a Monday morning, to extremely angry within the matter of seconds. Standing a few feet away from you, with the rest of the jocks, was your ex boyfriend, the person you hated the most on earth, Noah. 

Jessica introduced you to Noah at a party over the summer before sophomore year. It didn’t take long before you started dating. You spent the whole summer together. And you did that terrible mistake of trusting him and giving yourself to him. You were in love. Or so you thought. By the end of summer, Noah moved across the country with his parents. A decision he knew about for months but never told you about. You got the news on the first day of school when Zach and Justin asked you about how you were going to manage a long distance relationship. It didn’t hit you right away. It hit you when you saw a new guy on the field with Noah’s number. It hit you when you texted him and he simply told you that he didn’t think it was that big of a deal to tell you. It hit you when everybody at school was talking about you. You went through the first half of sophomore year secluding yourself in the Library, studying and keeping yourself from seeing anybody. You were ashamed of how naive you were to trust Noah like that.

One day, while you were busy finishing your Spanish paper, Montgomery pulled the chair next to yours and loudly crashed on it. “Shhhhh!” Someone angrily looked at him.

“The fuck you want nerd?”

He was about to stand up and fight that innocent soul for hushing him that way when you grabbed him hand to stop him. “Don’t.” And he didn’t. He just glared at the young boy and looked at you. You didn’t even stop what you were doing. “What are you doing here? I’ve never seen set a foot in here before.”

“Wanted the test the ambiance.”

You chuckled shaking your head. “What do you think about it so far?”

“Sucks.”

“And how about you tell me the real reason why you’re here?”

“I got an essay to finish.”

“Liar.”

“I am worried about you.” Your head shot up in surprise. His signature smirk was replaced by a rather concernes expression. “You never leave this place unless you go home or to class.” At least in the school library nobody judged you, too busy studying. 

“I wanna pass. Is there a problem with this?”

“You’re a straight A student, you don’t need to put efforts to get the highest grades.”

“Maybe I do now.”

“Liar.” 

“Get out if you have so much to tell each other. People are trying to study here.” Another student loudly whispered to you.   

And you got out. You didn’t need people to notice you there. Montgomery followed you until you suddenly stopped and turned around to face him. “I am fine Monty.”

“Are you gonna keep lying to my face like that all day?”

“People keep talking about me, Monty. I hear them.” You sighed. “All the time and trust me, they’re not gonna drop the hottest tea in town so easily.”

“Let’s give them another one.”

“What?” The bell started ringing right at that moment and students were rushing out of class, filling the once empty hall you were standing in. At that exact moment, when some of them spotted you probably for the first time in days -or weeks-, Montgomery did something unexpected. He quickly closed the distance between you and pressed his lips to yours in a gentle and slow kiss. It took you one second to realize Montgomery was kissing you and another second to realize you were kissing him back. That was it. That was right. And that was nearly two years ago.

“What the fuck is he doing here?” You asked your boyfriend without looking away from Noah’s tall figure that could be spotted from miles away. Your blood was boiling inside of you.

Before Montgomery could say anything to try and calm you down, Noah saw you and walked over to you. “Hey baby, missed me?” His hand went to touch your cheek but you stepped back avoiding it. “Come on, I know you did.”

“How about you leave my girlfriend alone Carter?” Montgomery came to stand between the two of you. 

“You replaced me with this poor latinx (Y/N/N)? You know you can do better.” He was completely ignoring Montgomery’s words and pushed him to the side to get closer to you. “We can start over beautiful.”

“Fuck off, Carter.” A crowd was slowly forming aroun the three of you and the boys came right away to hold Montgomery back. But he wasn’t the one who needed to be held back. 

Noah looked at Montgomery who was trying to free himself from Jeff’s hold and chuckled. ’“Look at this attack dog, he can’t do anything but get into fights. What kind of future do you think he can give you?” 

No one had the time to make a move that your knee collided with his crotch and as he bent down in pain, your forehead violently collided with his nose, making him fall in pain, blood flooding out of his nose. “Wanna say that again asshole?”

Next thing you knew, you were sitting in front of the honor board under the very disappointed gaze of Mr Porter. You didn’t speak, holding the icepack the school nurse gave you against your forehead on which a bump and a bruise were forming while Noah was sitting on the chair next to yours, blood still dripping out of his nose and on his white t-shirt. It didn’t take long for the honor board to come to the conclusion that you were the one to be blamed for everything and got you suspended for two days. 

[princessjungeun]

Sunshine on A Cloudy Day: Sana x Reader

tw// chronic illness, hospitals, needles, mention of cancer

it’s a high school au btw

this is based on my personal experience. pls be respectful as it wasn’t easy for me to write this :)

Your alarm played through your room, waking you up immediately. You pressed snooze at least seven times before actually getting up and dressing yourself for the long day that was to come.

You pulled on your favorite t shirt and pajama pants before tugging on a sweatshirt. You checked the time before packing your bag, making sure to add your laptop and phone along with their chargers, snacks, socks, favorite stuffed animal, and a few extra school assignments.

By the time you made it downstairs your mom was already waiting for you. Quickly she handed you an apple and muffin to eat on the car ride.

“Okay sweetie I have a meeting this morning from 8 until 11. I’ll bring you lunch, just text or call and tell me what you want.” Your mother spoke not taking her eyes off the road as she drove.

Your mom pulled out her wallet and handed you two familiar cards, telling you to tuck them away until someone inside asked for them.

“Alright sweet girl I’ll be back soon, if they have any issues call me and I can sort it out.” Your mom kissed your forehead before letting you out the car, watching you walk inside before driving away.

Your feet felt heavy as the familiar smell of saline and disinfectant filled your nose. You grabbed a disposable mask off the lobby desk and put it on.

As you started to walk towards the elevator a woman called after you “maam!”

You turned around and pulled down the mask “don’t worry I’m still a minor. I’m going to the 4th floor.”

The woman nodded and gave you a thumbs up with a smile before turning back to check in adults.

It was still early so not many people were in the hallways, except the emergency wing. It is always packed no matter what.

You made your way to the fourth floor hoping if you wakes slower you just wouldn’t have to go. But that wasn’t how it worked and you knew it.

When you entered the waiting room you found a seat by the window. The dull grey sky offered no source of light, leaving you to rely on the fluorescent ceiling panels for brightness.

“Miss Y/LN?” The woman at the desk called your name, waving you over.

“Good morning sweetie haven’t seen you for a few weeks now.” She smiled as she spoke her tone was calming but also happy.

She asked “you got the insurance card for me?” You nodded and handed her one of the cards waiting for her to tell you how much you owed for today’s visit.

“And you have a $30 copay today, would you like to take care of that now?” You nodded and handed her the second card your mom gave you earlier. She finished checking you in “alright they’ll call you back in a bit.”

You sat down and pulled out your phone knowing that your girlfriend was actually awake now.

Y/N: hey

Sana 💞: good morning jagi

Sana 💞: you have an appointment today right?

Y/N 💘: yeah...kinda just wanna go back home

Sana 💞: it’s okay i’ll come over after school and make it better

Y/N 💘: you don’t have to i’ll be fine, this isn’t new

Sana💞: no girlfriend obligations

Sana 💞: i’m coming and you can’t stop me

Y/N 💘: okay fine

Y/N 💘: i’ll text you later, they’re calling me back now

•

•

•

It didn’t take long for your nurse to call you back and get you situated in a treatment room. There was only one other patient along with you. It was a little girl no more than 3 years old. You didn’t know exactly what she was getting but your heart broke at the thought considering what department you were in, Cancer and Blood Disorders.

It took 3 hours for your IV bag to get delivered to your floor so you turned on the tv hoping something good was on. You settled on Moana, the only thing that wasn’t the news.

“Alright love we just got your bag, you know the drill, vitals every ten minutes for the first 30 then i’ll come every hour. We should have you out in 5 hours if everything goes well okay?” Your favorite nurse Haseul explained to you quickly what was going to happen.

You found yourself in this same spot with her every couple weeks so she knew how you liked things to go.

“So how’ve you been missy? How’s Sana?” She poked your side getting you to smile for the first time today.

You told her “she’s really good...I haven’t seen her in three weeks though. She got sick for two and she had finals this week, but today is her last one.”

Haseul checked “so you didn’t see her when she was sick right? You know you can’t be around that with your anemia.”

You nodded softly remembering why you were even in the hospital in the first place. What was once a slight iron deficiency quickly turned into a chronic anemia that couldn’t be healed with oral supplements. Doctors had no other option than to put you on infusion treatments which sucked.

Although people were definitely going through worse, especially in this department, that didn’t take away from what you dealt with. The constant fatigue, dizziness, falling asleep in class, hair loss, being malnourished, all of it a constant reminder that you weren’t like most.

“Y/N!” Haseul snapped her fingers in front of your face.

You blinked rapidly “sorry what?”

Haseul responded “it’s okay I just needed to make sure you didn’t pass out on me. I need to put on your heart monitor.” She placed the stickers on your chest before grabbing the IV kit she placed on your lap earlier.

“Alright in your hand or arm today?” Haseul knows you prefer the arm but she always asks in case you change your mind.

You simply pointed to your arm before extending it so she could access your vein. Finding your vein was no problem, as you still had a raised bump from the last time you got treatment.

“Okay...and one two- there you go.” Haseul secured the IV with a Tergaderm, which was weirdly enough your favorite part of this whole process.

She left you and cane back every ten minutes to check your vitals before disappearing to help another patient for a bit.

You ended up spending the first two hours dozing in and out of sleep, waiting for your mother to call you. Eventually you did in fact wake up, and to the smell of your favorite food.

Your mother sat in a chair next to you on her phone talking to who you assume is a coworker. Quickly she hung up the phone so she could talk to you instead.

“Hey hows it going so far?” She asked with slight concern.

You told her “ fine just sleeping to pass time that’s all.”

She smiled before handing you a bag of food hoping it’d bring some form of joy to your day.

•

•

•

You both ended up enjoying an early lunch together but unfortunately she had to leave the hospital for an emergency meeting. It wasn’t unusual for this to happen so you were used to it, she’d simply be back at the end of your appointment.

Your phone buzzed next to you, pulling your attention away from your mother’s absence.

Sana💞: how are you doing so far?

Y/N💘: it’s good. I’m watching Aladdin now :)

Sana💞: i wanna be there with you rn instead of in math class

Y/N💘: your day is almost over then you can see me

Y/N💘: think of it that way

Sana💞: yeah but i still wish i was with you

Y/N💘: soon

Sana💞: ok fine. i have to go i love you

Y/N💘: i love you too babe

Around the third hour you became irritable and ended up walking the hallways with Haseul. She was honestly the only thing that made you feel normal in this place.

When the two of you got back you were tired and worn out from the walk. It didn’t seem like a long distance to most but you definitely were feeling it.

You found your spot back in the treatment room, sitting in your chair and reclining it back. Just as you were going to close your eyes Haseul called your name.

“Y/N. You’ve got a visitor would you like her to come back?” Haseul didn’t bother to open the curtain to tell you who it was so being the curious girl you were, you allowed it.

Sana walked in with a smile on her face, it was like your sunshine on a cloudy day. It was clear she had just finished school as she was still in her uniform, and she was wearing her backpack.

“Ho- Sana? Why? How did you even get in here?” You asked her through a laugh.

Sana responded “nobody stopped me downstairs and I know you’re on this floor. The lady at the desk outside was very nice too!”

You immediately sat up, not realizing that was a bad idea given your position. Closing your eyes tight you tapped your finger on the arm rest of your chair, waiting for the dizziness to stop.

When you opened your eyes you saw Sana in front of you, a frown on her face. It broke her heart to see you, her girlfriend, in this state. You always tried to make it seem like you weren’t sick but it was very obvious that you still were no matter how much you pretended otherwise.

She placed a blanket over you before running her thumb along your face and softly saying “my baby girl...”

You smiled at her knowing it might possibly make her less sad but it didn’t do much.

She could tell you were tired so she told you “it’s fine just sleep.”

By the time you woke up it was time for you to leave. Haseul had flushed your IV and took your vitals for the last time while you were asleep.

Your mother was downstairs in the parking garage waiting for you and Sana so you could go home.

It was clear by the look on your face that you felt nauseous, a common side effect of your treatment, from the second you stood up.

Sana gathered your things and help you put on your sweatshirt and bag before you two headed downstairs.

You interlocked you’re hand with hers as you felt dizzier with every step you took. She could tell you were having a hard time but she knows how much you try to hide it. When you both made it to the car you fell asleep almost instantly.

Sana helped you to your room, quickly helping you to bed before stealing some of your clothes to wear for herself.

You sleepily held out your arms for her, a soft whimper leaving your lips. She crawled under the covers and you immediately clung to her. You were shivering as if you were standing in snow with only a bathing suit on. Your hands and fingers started turning blue, indicating you body temperature was dropping, a side effect of treatments.

Sana pulled you closer and kissed the top of your head as your fingers curled around her shirt, holding her close.

It only took ten seconds before you started sobbing into her chest. As much as you wanted to pretend you were fine and not in pain, you couldn’t hide it anymore. Breaking down in her arms you sobbed until you fell asleep. She felt terrible knowing there was nothing she could do to fix it, but she knew that you appreciated her being there for you.

You only slept for an hour before you woke up in a cold sweat. Your t shirt clung to your back as you kicked off your blankets seeking some sort of way to cool yourself down. That did little to nothing so you scrambled to the bathroom hoping cold water would do the trick.

Sana knew this was yet another side effect of your treatment, a high fever. Your cheeks burned red as you splashed your face with water in the sink. Much to your relief it worked and you were finally able to get back in bed with her.

Your girlfriend held you in her arms tight as if she never wanted to let go.

“Thank you...” You softly spoke as she drew small circles along the small of your back.

“For what?” She asked curiously.

You mumbled “everything...just everything you do for me.”

She giggled softly “you know i’d do anything for you baby.”

Mumbling softly you told her “i love you.”

She responded quickly “i love you too.”

Letting your eyes close you further melted into her embrace as she tightened her arms around you. In the back of your mind you were reminded why you always said i love you before you fell asleep. Besides the fact that you did in fact love her, but if you happened not to wake up tomorrow, the last thing she heard from you was those three words.

Nevertheless you hoped and prayed you’d wake up in the morning to see her smiling face.

[izukult]

This is such a cute idea! I’m addicted to making weirdly specific Spotify playlists so this is perfect. I have an ✨eclectic✨ music taste but my favorites are usually bedroom pop (mxmtoon, chloe moriondo, khai dreams, etc), romantic classical (think Debussy and Revel), and indie (although I like some Megan Thee Stallion, AC/DC, Nirvana, etc when I’m hyping myself up). As far as my personality goes, I’m pretty insightful and like to support people whenever I can, even if I don’t know them well. I can be a little chaotic sometimes, but I like to think it’s a chaotic good. I love tea, blankets, philosophy, deep conversations, the outdoors, and writing. I’m also an INFP and a Taurus :)

Sorry if that was too much, thank you so much! Take care of yourself and stay well

- Elle ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

( @snoozless ) you don’t understand how bad i want to be your friend. 😐😐 ok so you kind of get bonus 😀 but it rly might not be bonus because akfjakdkw. so, i gave you matsukawa!! but he’s not always like revered about so if u want a character lmk!! i am. in love w him tho. you’re so sweet you would balance him out and yall would be equally chaotic together.

he would have philosophical questions w u!! he might just be a little blunt & might accidentally cut the convo short, but he would listen to everything you said.

he’s used to a wide variety of music bc i’m convinced the seijoh playlists are absolutely fucking cracked like so loud. so he really could sit there and listen to anything. and i mean ANYTHING. like if you wanted to put on christian rock he’d awkwardly try to tap his foot on beat for you.

but, that doesn’t mean he’s gonna geek over you i feel like he’d be pretty private about the relationship. he’s not like secretive but he’s not gonna post you every two seconds yknow? he wouldnt put prom photos, but if yall went to look at the stars or go on a little hike he’d take a pic and youre wearing baggy sweats and one of his shirts and your hair isnt brushed for shit and it’s way too dark to properly make your face out and he’d put that shit on his main absolutely 😒

this man would be the kind of mf to look up his “crush’s” zodiac just for shits & giggles, so if he randomly knows a taurus fact, don’t question it<3 (he looked up your compatibility and he will take that to the grave)

issei is an infp idc. so yall got that in common.

he’s genuinely so pretty.

bc i took so long, i’m going to put descriptions for all the songs i love you thanks for requesting sorry for taking forever i’ll link the playlist and list the songs<3

1. silly girl- chloe moriondo

okay while this song is actually kinda sad, i think tHIS is pretty cute. issei comes off as this intimidating guy, and the more you get to know him the more you forget ab this idea of him you had or whatever? like the lyrics “i made him perfect, cause i wanted him to be” are really prominent in the point i’m tryna make because like even tho the lyric is obviously sad bitch shit, music is up for interpretation and this is like “hello ok he actually a real mf and shiiit maybe he cool😁✊”

2. nice boys- TEMPOREX

kinda sad. i don’t care how unemotional he might act, everyone has shit that brings them down. PLUS HES A PISCES THERES NO WAY HES NOT SAD SOMETIMES. this song just really taps into insecurities for him, and the song just gets under his skin in like a very therapeutic way. also “because he’s a pisces” some of his emotions are super intense so the “because he cares too much” line hits him fuckin hard

3. IV. sweatpants- childish gambino

this is some shit he listens to more with his team, absolutely. no doubt they blare this shit during weekly practice. but, he really really likes the song. so, when you’re hanging out and he has the aux? it’s one of the first ones he puts on. you two jam to it together. he’ll come up w dumb little dances to fit with certain lyrics (stole some of them from oikawa and hanamaki, but he won’t tell you)

4. you get me so high- the neighbourhood

okay unfortunately i must say him and hanamaki get fuckin faded in empty fields at two am all trashy like. but they make it look good idc. and if you smoke, cool, if you don’t he does not care. he always associated getting high with,,, getting high and everytime he listened to this song it just was one of his getting blazed jams, but now he’s got like a different kinda “euphoric” feel with loving you? like i said this bitch is a pisces even if he doesn’t overwhelm you with affection, he thinks ab you 24/7

5. 80’s makeout session- dacelynn

thIS SONG IS SO CUTE. but it’s p self explanatory. in love and also spare a kiss pls

6. can i call you tonight- dayglow

i feel like actually coming to terms with genuine feelings for someone would be kind of weird for issei. like no offense, but he sees it as kind of a pain in the ass. i genuinely think he would be someone to put his all into work or a task in front of him. he’s super intuitive, and constantly uses it to be better. whether it’s in volleyball or like cremating ppl i guess (HE WORKS INA FUNERAL HOME POST TIME SKIP IF U DIDNT KNOW). and it’s the same in relationships, but it’s also harder because he can’t have this complete clear head because you make his brain go kinda fuzzy. so, this song is like his little way of expressing that even tho he was like ‘internally conflicted’ this mf chose to go for it and that’s how much u mean to him

7. clair de lune, L. 32- claude debussy

i’m gonna be fucking honest with you. even though he’ll listen to anything, i really don’t think this man is looking up ‘classical romance study tunes’ playlists in his free time. he definitely enjoys the music, but that’s only if someone points it out to him. and he’s listened to you talk about it before, and watched you as you heard the piano and gauged your reactions and thought u were pretty cute he’s not gonna lie😼. so he definitely just looked up classical romance and picked the first recommended song and added it on there. he’ll dance w you a lil bit, but it wouldn’t be that quiet, intimate slow dancing in the dark you think would come w this song. itd just be a little sway as he hugs you from behind while you get water, or he twirls you once randomly with a laugh UGH I LOVE HIM

8. like real people do- hozier

ok. this one was fun for me. idc. double meaning lol. so this song is literally about two dead bodies in a bog and ,,, and he works in a funeral home PLS LMAOFJAJDJA I THINK THATS SO FUCKING FUNNY AND SO DOES HE. but also this song literally is my idea of love. this is my idea of love. and yall listen to it, with your stupid little death joke, but he looks at you and he’s just like ‘oh’. yknow? YKNOW?

9. BS- still woozy

like i said, i think he puts a lot into work. and he literally plays for a powerhouse school there’s no way he doesn’t practice a lot. so that means there’s a lot of time where he’s physically not there and definitely can’t text, because he’s trying to improve. and while he wouldn’t stop volleyball for someone else, he understands that you are like super amazing for being so Cool with him not being the most available. the song just reminds him of how compassionate you are and also he does miss u when he’s at practice YKNOW?

10. i <3 u- boy pablo

this one made me so fucking soft ew. ok. this song reminds him of you so so much. he’s totally okay being vulnerable with you? and even though he has pretty heightened emotions, he’s never felt like so strongly for smth other than like ??? volleyball and caring ab his siblings (BUT HE FEELS DIFFERENT FOR U THAN HE DOES FOR A VOLLEYBALL AND HIS SIBLINGS PLEASE😁). HE LUVVVVV YOU

11. heart-shaped box- nirvana

so many reasons. for one, simply fucking JAM. yall would scream this on a drive. if you ever got drunk together, this would be the first song you play. also, little lyrics remind you of each other. (the pisces lyric in the first and third verse, and even tho the flowers aren’t being used in a sweet sense in the song he does remember talking ab flowers w u, and now any flower is mentioned and he’s like “ah yes. my girlfriend.”)

12. pluto projector- rex orange county

FUCK. FUCK THIS SONG. GOD. NO. LIKE HE REALIZES HE’S IN LOVE WITH YOU WITH THIS SONG. HE T E L L S YOU HE’S IN LOVE WITH YOU WITH THIS SONG. the first time, he just sends you the name of it like ‘pluto projector <3’ and you listen and it’s so sweet and ur like ayo turn this shit up. and he adds it to your playlist, which definitely gets a smile from you. and then one night like two weeks later youre just laying together, and he’s running his fingers through his hair and he pulls away for a second to grab his phone and he turns the song on and you just listen to it in silence and it’s so fucking intimate. and he’s just like “i don’t think i’ve ever related to a song more” and you think he’s making a joke so you tell him to shut up (also jokingly) and he just laughs and it’s dark in his room and he’s playing with your hair again and he just goes “god, if you’re telling me to shut up over that i don’t even want to imagine how you’re gonna react when i tell you i love you” and it’s right around 3:10 in the song i’m literally so gone for him. bye you cry and try to hide it but he can tell HES PERCEPTIVE

13. i wanna be yours- arctic monkeys

okay for one, it’s a good song. it’s a song he absolutely let’s play in the background, just to cover the static lol. but also? ALSO? THE TITLE APPLIES TO YOU THE FUCK? it’s as if,,, he’s whipped,,

14. supermassive black hole- muse

hanamaki prolly showed him this song, and it’s one of his vibe songs. he will do falsetto while singing it if he’s in a really good mood and it just makes everyone laugh, including himself. it actually kind of grosses him out, because this song used to literally just be a song he would aimlessly go hard to but NOW his little bitch ass is like “you set my soul alight”? i guess i relate and “oh baby, i’m a fool for you” well, surely i’m not a fool but yea i get you muse sing it. it’s so gross. at this point he wants one thing that doesn’t make him think of you, just to prove that he’s not that gone, but he struggling

15. desperado- rhianna

i’m sorry to say it but this song makes him feel like a bad bitch LMAOOOOO. like if he’s ever getting pregame jitters or anything, he will just play this song. whether it’s on the speaker or in his headphones, he puts this shit on full volume and gets a lil too cocky LOL. this is also on the main seijoh playlist no doubt. he wants to share his bad bitch song w you, so you can aLSO feel like a bad bitch?? dUH

IM SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT BABES! IF YOU WANT ANY OF THE SONGS CHANGED (or even the character) LMK!! UR AMAZING ur so sweet it makes me ill

[haikyuu-imagines-and-others]

Hi! I'd like to request a Tendou scenario! Could you write one where he just started college and already isolates himself again bc he doesn't want people to look down on/weirdly at him etc. And then there's this girl that always takes the seat next to him, and at one point he's like "Are you doing that on purpose?", thus they start talking and become friends & in the end eat lunch together and she compliments his hair, and idk just lots of fluff and love for Tendou pls

TT~TT My baby… I love him so very much!!!! But a hard same on isolation after separation! Hard Same. Anyway! I know I got this request forever ago, and I’m sorry for the wait, but thank you very much for your patience and your request! :D - Admin Satori

Tendou Satori:

It wasn’t all that hard, honestly. To pull away from everything he’d known and loved. A new world of education - new people coming in and out of the large buildings - not enough time in the day to learn every students name - not enough time in the day to go throughout the dorm to meet every student that attended the university.

What was the point? Day one and already he was a pariah for his looks.

Not that he’d dressed weird or anything. It was cold, he’d had on a black sweater and some maroon pants. Some all black sneakers, and yeah, his socks were funny colors, but his pants were long enough to hide them; They were his special secret sunshine. He’d had his backpack on his shoulder, and was minding his own business.

Yet, somehow, for some reason, he was already targeted.

Now he sat outside the building his class was currently held in. Tendou looked down at his slightly bloodied hands - his blood, from a split lip and bloody nose. Though both were already dried and healing, he couldn’t help but rub the remnants between his fingers - feeling the stickiness of his own failure to fit in. It wasn’t his fault. He hadn’t done anything. Some young men, probably juniors or seniors, had seen him, seen his eccentric hair, and figured he was trying to make a statement for their prideful school.

And they just couldn’t stand the thought of someone looking different.

Tendou sniffled as he wiped at his nose with his sleeve, glad the material was black, but knowing he’d have to do laundry when he got back to his dorm. Maybe he could get an apartment off campus. Further away from the prying eyes he felt on him when he’d enter the dorm building, or any building for that matter.

He hadn’t cried though. Not a single tear. He was used to the bullying. He was used to being pushed around and taunted. For being too tall, for being too thin, for having insanely red hair, for his freckles, for his weird wide eyes…. There wasn’t a single part of him that hadn’t been made fun of.

A shadow fell over him, and he pulled his knees closer to his chest, “If you’re back to hurt me again… I’m sad to say I’m all out of blood in my lip and nose… Come back tomorrow when supplies are replenished.”

“Are you alright?”

His red eyes looked up at the soft voice that responded. It wasn’t the masculine taunts he’d heard earlier - it was soft and gentle, filled with concern and confusion. And when his eyes met yours, yours widened before you were dropping to your knees beside him, your hands reaching up hesitantly to his face. He flinched away from your touch, used to harmful hands, but your fingertips brushed his swollen split lip and for a split second he could feel your tender touch. You meant no harm whatsoever to him.

Fight or Flight, Tendou flinched once more from your touch, leaning away from you, “I’m fine.” He muttered, standing up quickly and dusting off his pants before he was shuffling away from you. He hurt everywhere, and he wanted to rest a bit, but you’d be there to try to help him if he did. Help or hurt - he honestly didn’t know the difference anymore.

“W-Wait!” You called after him, but he only continued to walk, his long legs leaving you in the dust.

Tendou pushed through hordes of people, ducking into his dorm building and rushing to his dorm before locking the door behind him. Peeking through the peephole, he knew you hadn’t followed him this far. Maybe he’d lost you in the crowds. Maybe you’d gotten tired of chasing him. Maybe you didn’t have access to his dorm building, which was a high possibility since he’d never seen you before. Nonetheless, you were off his trail.

Sighing, he entered his bathroom to see the real damage done. And it wasn’t horrible. A little swollen and dirtied, a little runny nose, but tear free eyes. Not a single sign of red eye in sight. He tried for a smile, though his reflections reaction only seemed to mock his attempt, making his cheeks drop their facade. He switched on the hot water, ignoring the burn of his hands as he leaned down to wash his face.

He scrubbed at it. Roughly. Hard enough to remove any kind of inkling of himself. But when he dried off and looked in the mirror once more, all he saw was…. himself. His face littered with his fingernail marks, his scrubbing making his face as red as his hair. “Ugly….” He muttered before tossing the towel away from him and exiting the bathroom.

Walking into class a week later, you were relieved to see a familiar head of red hair, and quickly made your way to sit next to him. He didn’t notice you at first, or at least you didn’t think he did, his forehead pressed into the open text book with his eyes closed. But he had. And he reactively leaned away from you in the next second, moving a seat over and putting his backpack between the two of you.

His actions were like a slap to your face. You don’t know why it effected you so much. Maybe because you’d seen how helpless he was, how alone he’d been… Maybe it was an insult - someone so bullied now distancing himself from someone trying to help. But instead of taking offense, or trying to reason his actions, you simply gave him a tender smile before focusing your attention on class.

But Tendou couldn’t focus. What did your sitting next to him mean? Why had you even bothered to seek him out when he was only going to run away again? Why was he running away, or at least so sure of his future actions? Because living looking the way he did meant danger… Danger meant he needed to run away to keep his life.

He glanced over at you during the middle of the lecture; discreetly, so you wouldn’t be able to notice - what were you even trying to do?

Your eyes suddenly met his, making his entire body freeze in shock. Never had anyone noticed his staring. And yet, here you were… Meeting his stare with a secret smile on your lips. Though you didn’t just meet his eyes, yours traveled from his to his eccentric hair, to the healing split lip, to the bruises on his arms and wear and tear on his hands on the desk before you were smiling fondly at the graphic t-shirt he’d pulled on that morning.

“‘My brain has too many tabs open’…..” You nodded slowly, your voice barely above a whisper while the professor droned on and on about whatever todays subject was. Tendou watched you cautiously as you tapped your temple with a tender smile, “I still can’t find which one of mine is playing that music….”

The corner of his mouth twitched. He was suppressing a smile, or at least a smirk.

“It’s the last one…” His voice was barely above a whisper, much quieter than yours, much quieter than he was used to talking in back in high school. Whether it was to avoid detection from the professor or to continue to hide his true self from your prying eyes… he wasn’t sure.

You pouted and shook your head, “Wait, don’t close it yet. I like this song.” The pout you’d held quickly turning into a small smile, tilting your head side to side to imitate a song being played in your head. Tendou’s eyes glanced over to the professor still talking about whatever the hell this class was about before meeting your amused, sparkling eyes once more. “Wanna hear it?”

He hesitated, swallowing the building anxiety in his throat. What were you even doing talking to him? Didn’t you think he was weird? Didn’t you think he was pathetic? He sure did. But you seemed to be earnest in your question, genuine in offering for him to hear the fake song in your head. “I… Don’t think I can? It’s in your head…”

But your smile widened, somehow retaining its secretive nature as you lifted your finger to your lips, a signal for him to keep your secret. His red eyes didn’t move from your lips as your finger raised to your hair, his eyes only following your movement when your lips parted to show your pearly whites in a proud smile. Blinking, he stared at your hand as you lifted your hair from your neck, brushing it behind your shoulder and tucking a few strands behind your ear.

“Earbuds….” Tendou huffed out in amusement, turning his head down with a suppressed smile and shaking his head, “What a poser.”

Now your mouth opened into a small ‘o’ in your shock, though you could feel there was no malice in his words. He was teasing you. “Oh, I see… too good for my ninja tactics.” You sent him a playful wink, huffing out your hidden laughter when he squinted at you in joking insult.

Tendou let your teasing drop. Let the whole joke drop. His eyes focused back on the professor, learning the topic was about something he’d learned in high school - it was just a review of a class for today, it seemed. So why was he here then? Why hadn’t he seen the first slide, known he knew all about it, and headed back to his room?

Why had he stayed?

“So can I hear the song then or are you going to leave me hanging?”

His question surprised him, not having made any decision to continue to talk with you or even mention your offer to listen to your music before…. And yet… his mouth had worked ahead of his brain, ahead of his logic, and asked for your interest. A nervous swallow of his anxiety didn’t escape your shocked, widened eyes, but when his red eyes met yours you’d had your time to process his request.

It didn’t even seem like you were fazed on his end. One second he was asking the question, and the next he was watching you grab at the hanging earbud and offering it to him. How were you okay with this? Sharing something you liked with someone who no one liked? But your smile was so welcoming. It was so warm. It felt as if you’d pulled him under an awning in the coldest of storms.

Long fingers brushed against yours as he took the earbud from you, and a thrill rushed down your spine from the contact. Did it bother you, he wondered? Did you find him gross and were wising you’d never noticed him a week ago? But your smile only seemed to brighten, only seemed to wrap him in a secure blanket, only seemed to dry him off from the storm of loneliness he’d found himself in not too long ago.

Ducking his head, he leaned closer to you - you were much shorter than he was, not to mention his backpack was still sitting between the two of you. You met him halfway and leaned closer to him, tilting your head so he had more of the cord to stretch in case he grew uncomfortable with your proximity.

But he wasn’t. He stared down at his lap as he put the earbud in his ear, his lips growing thin on his face as he held back a laugh - though you wished he hadn’t kept it to himself. You were sure his amusement was something to marvel at. You wanted to see his full smile.

“I can’t believe you listen to this…” He muttered with a smirk, “Really? In the middle of class, you’re jamming out to Disney?” Turning his head the slightest, he didn’t seemed surprised you were so close to him, his hooded red eyes seeming to glow in the dim room. A shiver rushed down your spine at his proximity, finding his appearance, his voice, his smile, his teasing…. Everything about him you found… Interesting… You wanted to learn more about him.

You wanted to protect him.

Slowly, your hand raised from the table, your fingers lightly tracing his healing split lip, your eyebrows furrowed. He didn’t flinch away this time, finding your touch soothing. Only a week. He’d only known you this entire class - had only started talking to you today, had first seen you a week ago…. And already he felt comfortable.

Why?

Maybe because you hadn’t immediately tried to hurt him the first time you’d seen him? Maybe because you seemed to have the same sense of humor he did? Maybe because you seemed to genuinely worry about his health with how tenderly your fingers seemed to touch his healing wound.

“Are you alright?” Was he? He didn’t know, really. He’d never really bothered to check if he was okay.

This was getting out of hand, he realized. Way too close. Way too comfortable. Way too fast.

Inhaling suddenly he pulled away from you completely, the earbud being pulled from his ear as he moved to sit upright in his seat. All feeling of warmth removed completely from his being as he moved away - but it was the only way he could preserve himself. The only way he could keep himself safe from your possibly harmful motives. What if you were just tricking him? What if you were in on a joke with some of his attackers? This couldn’t possibly be real. There was no way he could be interested in someone so quick after meeting them.

You frowned as you felt the wall to his core being thrown down in front of you. You were being shut off completely from him so quickly, you felt… betrayed. In the oddest sense, you felt as if you’d been cheated of a chance to know him. To help him.

But if he wanted to pull away… who were you to stop him? A complete stranger who just so happened to make him find amusement in your silliness? Who just so happened to see the aftermath of his bullied problem?

A forlorn sigh left you as you sat there, a seat apart from him. Your shoulders fell with the disappointment souring your tastebuds.

Then he was standing up and leaving without a word, roughly grabbing his backpack and striding out of the lecture hall without a single backwards glance.

You pushed him way too far…. Way too fast… You barely knew the guy.. Barely even spoke with him… And now you were wishing he was closer? That he wasn’t so scared? Because you knew he was scared. The moment you’d seen him sitting outside the building, hidden amongst the shrubbery, nursing his wounds on his own… You knew he was scared - deep down, quivering with fear with his new surroundings.

The sudden sound of slapping hands on the table top drew the professors attention to you, an excitement in his heart at someone taking interest in his course this early in the morning - but he was only met with your back as you rushed out of the lecture hall. You practically marched out of the hall, your backpack slung over your shoulder, the straps of which digging into your hand at the awkward distribution of weight.

But the bite of the material didn’t bother you when it was pitted against the thought of this young man being one more second without help or without a friend.

You practically slammed the cafe doors open as you pushed through - catching a few students and faculty off guard - what were you so riled up about? Why did you look pissed?

Red hair, downturned head, phone in hand, frowning lips…. You spotted your target and made a straight line to him - setting your backpack down next to his on the table, all but throwing yourself into the cafe chair across from him. His red eyes barely flickered up to meet yours, a sardonic smirk curling his lips - not the smile you longed to see.

“What do you want? Stalker.”

Name calling wouldn’t do anything to deter you, though. But the murmur of his quip had your heart rate slowing - your blood cooling in your veins…. Why had you been so uppity about getting to him? So dramatic for what? To what end did your stomping, marching, and slamming antics get you?

When you didn’t immediately answer, he glanced up at you, his red eyes peering under his brow, peaking through the red of his eyelashes. You seemed lost in thought, as if you were surprised with your own actions. He wasn’t. He’d figured you were the type to be passionate about setting things right, and he’d guess as soon as you’d seen him a week ago that he’d become that thing to be set right.

He gave you your time though. Tendout was patient as he continued to scroll through his social media - seeing his friends pages, seeing Ushijima’s serious updates, seeing Semi’s begrudgingly happy smile, Reon’s new friends….. Everyone around him seemed to be moving on just fine…

It just went to show him that things never change. People never change. Their attitudes and two faces… They never change.

Your hand was suddenly in his field of vision, making his eyes go from his screen straight up to your eyes. There was a warmth there he’d seen a week ago, the warmth he’d seen in the lecture hall - would you change, too? Switch so suddenly? Tell him one day, you were a safe harbor, only to then switch and use all his secrets and trust against him? Join the group you seemed to want to protect him from?

Was he overthinking?

“That’s a really low-five… I don’t know if I can make it in time.” Dumb, really dumb, dumb joke - self hatred spiking just the slightest.

But you smiled, wiggling your fingers as you waited, “Go on…. Give me a low-five…” You knew it was silly - not what you were going for. You’d reached out your hand to get his attention, but when he’d teased you about it instead… You figured you could play his game of loner-sarcasm for as long as he wanted to play.

Tendou gave you a suspicious look, keeping eye contact with you directly as his removed his hand from holding his phone - hovering it about a foot above your open palm….

He brought down his hand suddenly, but you were much quicker - pulling your own hand back so fast, the movement was a blur - though he’d been close to giving you that low-five… He could feel the warmth of your hand just barely pass by his palm before he was met with the cool sting of slapping the plastic table.

You snickered, “Too Slow.” Your smile was playful, making your eyes sparkle. Then your hand was back out on the table, palm up once more, fingers wiggling teasingly, “Try again.”

“You’re just going to take your hand away again… I don’t want to break the table.”

Now you snorted in amusement, “Alright, Hulk….” Tendou’s smile loosened its sarcasm though what it lost, it gained in truth. An almost real smile. “I promise I won’t make you slap the table…. I don’t think the table has a spanking kink…” Your cheeks warmed at the mention of something so dirty with a guy you just barely met - but his responding smile had your lips pulling in the same motion.

An odd girl…. I like her…

“As far as you know.” He muttered offhandedly, though the smile on his lips reflected his enjoyment of the moment with you. You seemed to hit his funny bone just right, even if you’d been embarrassed about your comment - he seemed to appreciate you being genuine with him in what came to your mind.

This time, when he brought his hand down onto yours for a low-five, your fingers quickly wrapped around his hand, resting on the back of it - palm to palm, you held his hand….. and he seemed to hold yours just as comfortably.

“My name is _______ _______…..”

“Tendou Satori.”

[cloverwould-blog]

ALL THE TEXT MEMES PLS AND THNX

☮ for an apologetic text

unsent → v: I went to a coffee shop today and the local news station was on and they were covering a man who lost his legs in Iraq

unsent → v:  and they mentioned his family and his dreams but they didn’t mention the iraqi children he killed in cold blood or the dictatorship we propped up because we couldn’t fucking handle non-white people having independence

unsent → v:  I don’t believe in karma because if I did it sure as fuck would’ve caught up to me by now, but it got me wondering

unsent → v:  I don’t think I ever told you why I  

unsent → v: I mean what I

sent→ v: hi. this is clover.

sent→ v: you left your bag at my place a few months ago. I’ll drop by and leave it on the front step.

sent→ v:  you won’t even have to see me. 

⊙ for a reaction to your muse’s nudes text

sent→ v:  i’m assuming this was meant for leo

unsent→ v: you didn’t delete my number?

unsent→ v:  you have great tits. am I allowed to say that?

sent→ v: calm down, princess. the file’s deleted off my phone.

sent→ v:  your kinky side remains a secret 

❋ for a hopeful text

unsent→ v: mona told me what you did.

unsent→ v: I didn’t know you still cared enough about me to defend my name like that.

unsent→ v: people don’t normally correct people calling their enemies whores

sent→ v: can we talk?

☯ for an adoring text

sent→ vera bo-bera:  god you’re so fucking beautiful

sent→ vera bo-bera:  that prom dress? that hair? damnnnnnn girl can i get yo numba

sent→ vera bo-bera: this leo guy better treat you right, is all i’m saying

ღ for a friend-crush text

sent→ vera bo-bera: I have the best best friend in the entire fucking world

sent→ vera bo-bera: i can’t believe you  just showed up in homeroom like that with chocolate like it was the most normal thing in the world

sent→ vera bo-bera: what did i do to deserve you

❤ for an affectionate text

sent→ vera bo-bera:  of course I want to hang out with you

sent→ vera bo-bera: does mona have to come tho?

sent→ vera bo-bera: because spending time, just us…that hasn’t happened in a while

sent→ vera bo-bera: I miss you vera

✂ for a worried text about the receiver

sent→ v:  hey. totally not my place, but I heard what happened with jac

unsent→ v:  are you okay? leo’s not answering his phone

unsent→ v: please tell me you’re okay.

sent→ v: he was always a prick but this is ridiculous even for him

unsent→ v: please respond i need to know you’re okay

unsent→ v:  I don’t know what I’ll do if you aren’t okay

☺ for a complimentary text

sent→ v: I know we’re not talking right now, 

unsent→ v: I don’t understand why you’re being so bitchy

sent→ v:  but Palloma told me about your psych lab and…it’s impressive

sent→ v:  really. I’m not just saying that. I’m proud of you, V.

❂ for a text about another character: leo

sent→ vera bo-bera: no, of course i don’t mind. don’t be stupid.

sent→ vera bo-bera:  literally go the fuck ahead. i broke up with him. i d o   n o t  care.

unsent→ vera bo-bera: you were fucking each other behind my back anyways

unsent→ vera bo-bera: i saw what you sent him, but he never did.

sent→ vera bo-bera: get married and have ten kids. your prerogative.

✳ for a holiday text

sent→ v: happy valentine’s day

unsent→ v: do you and leo have any plans? 

unsent→ v: who am i kidding. of course you do. you’re probably going out for a sickeningly sweet date, complete with roses

unsent→ v:  you’ll get back around 9 and have quite missionary sex before one of you falls asleep

unsent→ v: do either of you ever miss me at all?

unsent→ v:  I don’t blame you.

sent→ v: sorry. wrong contact.

♆ for a sext

sent→ v: [ image downloading … ]

sent→ v: there’s more where that came from.

sent→ v: i’ll be in the belle revue. room 205. you know where to be.

☼ for a joking text

sent→ vera bo-bera: [ image downloading … ]

sent→ vera bo-bera: this is literally you whenever anyone mentions leo babe

sent→ vera bo-bera:  when do i get to meet him? i’m intrigued

↔ for a bitching text

sent→ vera bo-bera: ugh. men are the worst.

sent→ vera bo-bera: like don’t get me wrong, leo’s a sweetheart, but he’s so fucking stupid

sent→ vera bo-bera: and he’s weirdly possessive sometimes and i want to smack him

sent→ vera bo-bera:  wait, didn’t you two go to prom together in high school? why am i telling you all this? you already know

♣ for a gossipy text

sent→ v:  I have my sources.

sent→ v:  not important. I know what happened, end of story.

sent→ v:  nina and marcus? absolutely happening. nina and logan? also happening.

sent→ v:  have fun being a homecwrecker, sweetie.

$ for a lying text

sent→ vera bo-bera: what? no. he didn’t mention anything about that

sent→ vera bo-bera: he probably just deleted the file

sent→ vera bo-bera:  you know leo. always the gentleman.

☆ for a longing text

unsent→ v: are you awake? it’s late and i’m thinking of you again

unsent→ v: do you remember that time we snuck peach schnapps from my mom’s cabinet and got tipsy watching gilmore girls?

unsent→ v: it was your first time drinking and you kept on giggling and it was the cutest fucking thing i’d ever seen

unsent→ v: I miss that. i miss us. i miss you.

sent→ v: I saw you last night at ceberus.

sent→ v: I didn’t think that was your scene.

♬ for a fangirl/boy gushing text

sent→ vera bo-bera: ur literally the prettiest person i’ve ever scene and sometimes i just get really sad looking at you because holy shit you’re gorgeous and smart and wow 

sent→ vera bo-bera: why is leo dating me when you’re right there i mean is he blind

sent→ vera bo-bera: you’re amazingg and i’m just me lmao

[ ... ]

sent→ vera bo-bera: in case it wasn’t obvious i got really fucking smashed last night

sent→ vera bo-bera: ignore basically all of that mess, thanks

★ for a dumb meme or inside joke text

sent→ vera bo-bera: [ image downloading ... ]

sent→ vera bo-bera: sorry, what? did you just say you haven’t seen america’s next top model?

sent→ vera bo-bera:  well, clearly we have to remedy that shit. my place in 20, got it?

♘ for a questioning text

sent→ v: what did i ever do to make you hate me so much?

sent→ v: i was on your side. i was always on your fucking side.

sent→ v: i hurt for you. who else can say that? leo? please. 

sent→ v:  you and me, babe. always has been, always will be

[ ... ]

sent→ v: a wild night at cebrerus and i send four texts that i don’t even remember typing

sent→ v: sorry.

♬ for a music rec or lyric text

sent→ vera bo-bera: lorde’s new album’s got me feeling some kinda way

sent→ vera bo-bera: tell me you’ve at least heard of it

sent→ vera bo-bera: you’re weirdly amish about pop culture sometimes

sent→ vera bo-bera: i’m sending you the file and if you don’t listen to it i swear to god

sent→ vera bo-bera: jk jk but honestly listen to it or this friendship is over

☽ for a sleepy text

sent→ vera bo-bera: noooo mama bear i gotta stay awake a little longer

sent→ vera bo-bera: tickets come out at 3 am and it’s 1:45 now i’m almost there

sent→ vera bo-bera: [ audio file of a very exhausted and off-key clover singing ‘we are the champions’ ]

☢ for a snarky text

sent→ v: you want a to-go box? it might come in handy, since you’re screwing my leftovers.

[elysianjeonghan]

Summer Jobs Series (svt) - hairdresser!joshua

(reposting because something went wrong) hellooooo! I feel really really bad for not updating in a while. I was to update a long time ago but I hadn’t been feeling up to it. I would want to finish this series before I go back to school (in two weeks!!) so here I am :) I hope my writing isn’t that rusty whoops!!!

you really loved the new city you had moved to

it was so pretty and you would love to explore your neighborhood before you started your new year of college here!!!

except ,,, it was literally burning everyday

IT WAS SO HOT like looking outside made you start to sweat

the only time you would be ok with going out is after the sunsets cause the heat was actually tolerable

and the city lights were nice at night but you would like to stay out for longer

so one day you were like !! I had enough !! so you decided that you wanted to cut your hair pretty short so that you could lose the weight of your hair and maybe finally go outside in the sun and not die

and why not just dye your hair too, so you’re gonna have it balayage into a dusty rose

so you waited to till the sun set to go find a new hair salon

you walked around until you found one that you thought would be nice

it was a bit small but looked very minimalistic (how aesthetically pleasing

you went in and went to the front desk, where a nice lady smiled at you

you asked if you were able to dye and cut your hair today even if you didn’t have an appointment but she graciously said of course!!!

so she lead to to one of the chairs and went to get a hair dresser for you

you were on your phone, getting your reference photos for your hair ready, till you heard someone clear their throat

you could have gasped from seeing him, thank god you saved yourself from embarrassing yourself

what a beautiful boy wow

he had such an elegant aura around him, yet he looked so simply pretty

he looked like he was around your age, he wore a long sleeve white button up shirt with some black pants with one of those hairdressing tool belts

he looked a bit shy but nevertheless had this bright smile that blew you away

“hi!! my name’s joshua!! um,,, i heard you wanted to have a dye and cut? would you mind tell me how you would want to do it?”

you nervously said of course!!! my name is y/n btw!! and then you frantically tried to get the reference photo

and when you got them you were going to hand it to him but he,,,leaned down,,,and peered at it from your shoulders

you were so stiff as he looked at your phone ,,, he was too close ,,,

but you couldn’t help appreciate how good he smelled and how pretty he looked in the mirror in front of you

after assessing the photos joshua was like ok!!! lets get to work!!! and rolled his sleeves up which looked so good you could die

he was the sweetest person ever

even if it was a bit awkward at first, he made the conversation really smooth

you found out that he in fact was your age, he worked at the salon since he was 16 since his family ran the salon

when you guys found out that you were both going to the same college, he was !!! so happy!!

“I can’t believe we’re going to the same college!!! that’s gonna be so fun!!”

you guys found out you had a class together and joshua got !!! even more !! hyped !!! which was honestly so adorable

you guys easily talked about anything and everything, but there were times where he was concentrating so there was a comfortable silence

you didn’t really mind cause you were able to admire him through the mirror

he once had eye contact with you and you both were a blushing mess

you were honestly having such a good time talking to him that you didn’t notice how late it was getting

you only realized when the lady at the front desk told joshua to lock up the place after you guys were done that it was already 9 pm ,,, you’ve been here for like 3 hours?? you didn’t even realize??

you were profusely apologizing to joshua for coming so late and for choosing to get a look that took so long

he was like ?? are you kidding ?? its 100000% fine this is fun for me too

cue fluttering heart

you were like !!!! i need to make it up to you !!! so you decided you’ll order pizza for you guys

you ordered the pizza even though joshua kept saying that it was fine

when the pizza came your hair was cut but not finished and your hair was dyed and washed but wasn’t dried

even if you weren’t done you guys took a break from all the hair stuff cause it was getting TOO MUCH

you guys joked around and ate the pizza happily

you found out that you both liked the same music after he put on breathless by corrine bailey rae

“hey!!! I love this song!!!”

“y/n, you are officially the best person ever” 

you guys were jamming out and you saw that this sweet, elegant, gentlemanly boy ,,, is such a dork and you loved it

he got really into the song and even danced weirdly which made you both burst out laughing

after an hour of just silliness you guys finally went back to the hair

joshua wanted to surprise you when you saw the hair at the end so he covered up the mirror

he delicately and precisely cut hair, blow dried it and finally curled it

when he was finished you were just really giddy and excited

joshua was about to take the towel off the mirror to let you see your hair when he looked a bit anxious

“y/n ,,, it was my first time dying hair like this ,,, so I am so so so so sorry if I somehow messed it up or if it doesn’t live up to your expectations”

the already disappointed look on his face broke your heart ,,, what a sweet guy

you assured him that you were so sure you were gonna love it and you were 100000% positive it came out great

he looked unsure but gave you an adorable half smile and was like ok,,,if you’re sure

then he pulled off the towel from the mirror

oh

my

god

you knew that hair shouldn’t define how pretty you were or anything, but you truly thought that this was the best you’ve looked. EVER.

the length complimented the color of the hair and your bone structure so much, the dye came out even prettier than you imagined, and your hair was curled perfectly

and it was all because of joshua

you were so happy with the cut you jumped out of the chair and hugged joshua while you kept squealing about loving it so much

while you repeatedly thanked him joshua was. so. overwhelmed.

he was so shocked he was pretty sure his heart skipped a beat

seeing how happy you looked with something he did, all that hours of work was so worth it

he was so glad you liked it his already big smile got even bigger

you were so happy, you didn’t mind helping him clean up and close the salon

joshua insisted on walking you home since it was almost midnight and he wouldn’t want anything to happen to you

so while you were walking home you were rambling about how happy you were with your hair and how you could finally go out and explore the city

when you got to your apartment complex you were saying your goodbyes and you were walking away,,, but then you felt someone holding your hand

joshua shyly offered ,,, if you were free tomorrow ,,, maybe he could show you around the city ,,, if you needed

and your face must have turned beet red and you don’t know where your courage came from ,, but you asked if it was as a date

and now it was joshua's turn to blush but you did hear him softly say yes

you were so happy you just squeezed his hand and said you'd love to

his ears tinged red and he looked so happy it squeezed your heart

you guys exchanged phone numbers and set the time he would come by again tomorrow

and before you went to sleep, you got a text from joshua

“I don't think I can sleep, I can't wait to see you tomorrow ;)”

you guys texted until the wee hours of the day until you both fell asleep

but lord knows you both fell asleep smiling

AHHHHH personally this is one of my favorites already whoops. Do I have something for guys and hair or something (this plus seungcheol in my first au whoops). PLS APPRECIATE MY RESEARCH I DID FOR MS CORRINE BAILEY RAE (jk i already knew joshua liked her and i liked that song) but go listen to the song it kinda?? relates to the au?? ANYWAYS, I'm really sorry this took such a long time to upload!!! I'll try to be a lot more consistent for the next two weeks, but I’ll probably only write maybe one au a week when school starts :( But thank you so much to those who like and support my writing <3

(disclaimer I’ll check for mistakes later so sorry for those!)

[votingdog]

i wanted to do a thing

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? i would, yeah 2. You talked to an ex today, correct? i have, like three of them lmao? 3. Have you taken someones virginity? i have not 4. Is trust a big issue for you? definitely  5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? i did!! it was really nice aaa 6. What are you excited for? hanging out with my friends? always? im lonely 7. What happened tonight? nothing really? ive been on tumblr mostly 8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? nah bitch me too just pls be careful 9. Is confidence cute? so cute!! but so is being shy?? everything is cute everyone is cute love me 10. What is the last beverage you had? tea 11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? three, id say 12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? all my jeans are skinny jeans 13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? saturdays are for the boys 14. What are you going to spend money on next? probably a charger tbh 15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? am not. relationships are scary and i need to figure shit out before i can be in another one 16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? it wouldnt surprise me  17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? noah and xavier 18. The last time you felt broken? eeeeeeeeeeeee  19. Have you had sex today? nope 20. Are you starting to realize anything? im cute and worthy of love okay 21. Are you in a good mood? yeah i mean? yeah. weirdly. 22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? maybe 23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? what dad lmao 24. What do you want right this second? cuddles 25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? “were they cute? tell me about itt” im very poly y’all 26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? yee 27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? probably not, then again it isnt hard to make me laugh 28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? honestly probably noah being a goof 29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? y e s 30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? not everyone, but most people do 31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? absolutely not!! i love him sm  32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? i express it like,,,,,all the time so i really hope so? 33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? i only drink the clear ones? like sprite and ginger ale are my shit. everything is is,,,not 34. Listening to? jezebel by iron & wine 35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? not usually. i mostly use pen bc i clearly never make mistakes 36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? i mean, im 99% sure he’s at his house but idk he could be in a graveyard for all i know 37. Do you believe in love at first sight? nah. curiosity and crushing(ish) at first sight, yes, but love takes a bit 38. Who did you last call? xavier. i usually do to sleep 39. Who was the last person you danced with? my ex. we didnt get to go to prom together and he was sad he didnt get to dance with me, so we danced in my bedroom  40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? because he’s a huge cutie!!! 41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? i dont remember?? pls give me a cupcake?? 42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? noo. i dont see my mom much rip 43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? always??? i embarrass myself in front of everyone?? 44. Do you tan in the nude? i dont tan? not purposely at least. i just go outside sometimes and i guess i tan easily bc my tan line is r e a l 45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? of course nott i wanna kiss him like all the time 46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? maybe? i dont remember. i usually do tho 47. Who was the last person to call you? xavier 48. Do you sing in the shower? if no one’s around 49. Do you dance in the car? ive done the macarena in the car 50. Ever used a bow and arrow? yee 51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? school pictures? other than that when i was like real little bc my family was that suburban white family who got them every year (at walmart) 52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? duh but i love them so much 53. Is Christmas stressful? y e s 54. Ever eat a pierogi? pardon? 55. Favorite type of fruit pie? i? uh? apple? 56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? oh jeez that’s a heavy question. sky diver, wizard, vet, and a teacher 57. Do you believe in ghosts? yes theyre real and one sucked my dick behind an arby’s 58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? a lot actually 59. Take a vitamin daily? my unhealthy ass? i laugh 60. Wear slippers? no, usually jsut socks 61. Wear a bath robe? no, im usually just in a towel after the shower for like 20 minutes while i dissociate 62. What do you wear to bed? t-shirt and underwear unless im alone and then just underwear 63. First concert? black veil brides, falling in reverse, and set it off 64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? targett 65. Nike or Adidas? shrugs. i wear off brand vans every day 66. Cheetos Or Fritos? cheetos! 67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? peanuts 68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? mary’s song, dear john, and december. i unironically love her old stuff 69. Ever take dance lessons? i did ballet and tap c: 70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? shrugs. whatever they wanna do i support 71. Can you curl your tongue? yee 72. Ever won a spelling bee? i got fifth place one year and third another 73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? last night 74. What is your favorite book? the trylle series 75. Do you study better with or without music? with 76. Regularly burn incense? ive never done it on my own accord actually 77. Ever been in love? oh have i 78. Who would you like to see in concert? um? iron & wine? idk im listening to him now and i lov 79. What was the last concert you saw? ,,,,,,,,,,refer to number 63 80. Hot tea or cold tea? cold! 81. Tea or coffee? teaa 82. Favorite type of cookie? peanut butter ^^ 83. Can you swim well? i mean, i guess? i dont much idk 84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? yee 85. Are you patient? mostly, unless im like breaking down and/or splitting. then i freak 86. DJ or band, at a wedding? shrugs 87. Ever won a contest? i dont believe? i got second in one once for a collage i made of photographs when i was in kindergarten  88. Ever have plastic surgery? nah 89. Which are better black or green olives? green!! 90. Opinions on sex before marriage? i personally dont care. it’s important to some people and not to others. just respect each other yo 91. Best room for a fireplace? anywhere im around. i lov 92. Do you want to get married? aaaaaaa gotta find someone who would actually marry me first bitch wtf 

[keeganbee]

OH BOY QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS FROM ME

tagged by @sapphicattack​!! here we go there are so many omg

LAST

1) Drink: water. it’s usually water. god I drink so much water

2) Phone call: volunteer coordinator for the animal shelter. we play a lot of phone tag what with my night shifts

3) Text message: to my mum, told her I’m not sure who she is bc I hadn’t seen her in several days

4) Song listened to: Hurts by MIKA

5) Time you cried: yesterday, violently while/after watching Logan 

HAVE YOU EVER

6) Dated somebody twice: ugh yes

7) Been cheated on: UGH YES :/

8) Kissed someone and regretted it: UGHHH YES

9) Lost someone special: hhhyeah

10) Been depressed: mmboy going on seven years now. much much much better right now than I was before though.

11) Gotten drunk and puked: once. that was enough

THREE FAVOURITE COLOURS

12) indigo

13) blue-green

14) brick red

IN THE LAST YEAR YOU HAVE YOU

15) Made new friends: yeah! on tumblr and at work.

16) Fallen out of love: nope not this past year

17) Laughed until you cried: laughed until I gagged

18) Found out someone was gossiping about you: yep

19) Met someone who changed your life: noooot recently

20) Found out who your true friends are: actually yes

21) Kissed someone on your Facebook list: this is a weird question. why is facebook a quantifier

HOW MANY/MUCH

22) Facebook friends: 130 and I talk to like, 8 of them

23) Pets: YEAH Caoimhe and Lady and Lilly and Bonnie

24) Want to change your name: sometimes, mostly bc I’m sick of hearing it yelled so much

WHAT

25) Did I get for my birthday: a new keyboard/mouse and some money and a good bottle of wine <3 

26) Time I woke up: 1:30 pm. I’m on night shifts. I’m not just lazy. I’m on night shifts AND I’m lazy

27) Were you doing at midnight: Watching playing fo4 and trying not to freeze to death in my basement

28) Can’t you wait for: M A S S E F F E C T

29) Was the last time you saw your mom: like 3 hours ago. living in the same house and we didn’t see each other for almost a week lol

30) Was something you wish you could change about your life: lol, I honestly can’t begin here bc it will make me too sad

31) Are you listening to right now: >__> an asmr playlist

32) Gets on your nerves: intolerance, mansplaining, people who refuse to acknowledge that I’m doing the best I can

33) Talked to a person named Tom: this question - “WHAT talked to a person named Tom” but uh, yeah, my father

34) Is your most visited website: I hate this site and yet

35) Elementary school/primary school: tiny public school in NW Ontario

36) High School: shitty big high school in central Ontario

37) College: durham. dropped out bc ~*depression*~

38) Hair colour: brown 

39) Long/short hair: short, just about at my collarbone now

40) Crush: usually, yes

41) Do you like about yourself: I’m really good with dogs, they usually like me immediately. also I sing nicely sometimes

42) Piercings: earlobes. actually. earlobe. my right one healed over, as I discovered 2 weeks ago when I tried to put earrings in for the first time in like a year

43) Blood type: ?????????????????? I honestly don’t know

44) Nickname: Lina/Pleany

45) Relationship status: a what

46) Zodiac: pisces

47) Pronouns: she/her

48) Favourite show: uuuhhhhhhhhh. uh. I have watched... shows... before....yes

49) Tattoos: one of these days. I’m so poor and I need so many necessities right now lol

50) Left or right handed: right 

FIRST

51) Surgery: not that I can recall

52) Piercings: ears

53) Best friend: a girl named kaitlyn in elementary school. we haven’t talked in 11 years but I have her on fb

54) Sport: soccer (man I wish I’d kept it up)

55) Vacation: england? too young to remember. first and last time at 2 years old

56) Pair of shoes: wtf how would I know that

RIGHT NOW

57) Eating: a tasteless sludgey protein bar from costco. I am desperate

58) Drinking: water!!!!! always water. (sometimes orange juice. even more rarely, alcohol)

59) I am about to: look at apartment listings :/

60) Listening to: more... asmr....

61) Waiting for: movie night at friend’s on saturday. gotta get thru long shift tomorrow first ;(

62) Want to see: my frands

63) Want to get married: that’s a big ol’ <vague wiggling hand gesture>

64) Career: customer service :[

WHICH IS BETTER

65) Hugs/kisses: Yes

66) Lips/eyes: y e s 

67) Taller/shorter: taller, I’m already so short, pls be taller than me

68) Younger/older: older. trial and error on this one. weird how much a difference 2 years can make.

69) Romantic/spontaneous: spontaneous, romance makes me nervous and flighty in practice. I love it in theory tho.

70) Nice arms/nice stomach: damn nice arms are nice, y’know

71) Sensitive/loud: sensitive. I have enough loud around me most times

72) Hookup/relationship: eeehhhhhh

73) Troublemaker/hesitant: troublemaker so I have someone to balance out my 100% anxiety personality

HAVE YOU EVER

74) Kissed a stranger: hhhhhh yep

75) Drank hard liquor: yee

76) Lost glasses/contact lenses: can’t lose what you don’t own~~

77) Turned someone down: /high school flashbacks YES

78) Canoodling on a first date: define “date”

79) Broken someone’s heart: weirdly, yes

80) Had your own heart broken: weirdly, definitely yes, but by a platonic relationship, not a romantic one

81) Been arrested: no!! there’s still time though.

82) Cried when someone died: I... don’t really ever stop

83) Fallen for a friend: lbr who hasn’t (not counting aros/aces I guess)

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

84) Yourself: like 5% of the time

85) Miracles: heck no

86) Santa Claus: no, bc he stopped delivering the good shit years ago

87) Kisses on a first date: probably not

88) Angels: no

89) Love at first sight: definitely not

OTHER

90) Best friend’s name: CAOIMHE

91) Eye colour: hazel /cue kelly clarkson

92) Favourite movie: yes I have one of those

I wanna tag people but... I don’t want to annoy anyone......... if you read this and you wanna do it, do it and tag me so I can read all about you

[joeydabomb21-blog]

Day 1

Kinda been too sad recently. Not sure if it’s because I miss my family, my ex girl friend, or school has just been kicking my ass too much. Not sure at all. But I’ve been sad for a few weeks now, and this girl I’m seeing is catching on. Not too sure how to handle that shit. Like we’re just dating and she’s on my ass about not texting her frequently....fuck off pls I’m going through something and don’t feel like talking like I normally do. 

I should never have ended things with my ex. I was going through a similar depressive state when I ended it with her, and I haven’t stopped thinking about her since. I don’t think there’s been a day that’s gone by that I haven’t thought of you. I’ve dated trying to find you in other people, but it’s never enough. Weirdly, you weren’t even enough when we tried being friends again. Both of us outgrew each other I think when we tried reconnecting, but I’m still looking for the “us” that I abandoned. Holy fuck you were in my life for 7 years for crying out loud. I miss you everyday, the general emotional warmth and comfort you brought into my life, the constant encouragement, the growth we both underwent. God I miss you. I didn’t deserve you ultimately, though.

Guys, this girl was amazing. She was smart, ambitious, funny even, encouraging, loving, gorgeous--loyal. She was all these things but I for some dumb ass fucking reason did not trust her when she would go out once every other month. Like this girl would never cheat in any universe. I know this for a fact. But I did not treat her with the trust she deserved. I  w a s  t o x i c. That’s the shit that sucks about this too. Like we don’t ever realize we’re the toxic ones until all the dust has settled and we’ve had time to reflect. We don’t realize it when it matters the most. If you are dating anyone, I really hope he isn’t who I was to you. I hope he isn’t some little bitch like I was. god knows you deserve that. 

Bro, my dumbass would even spell out all the reasons why I was bad for her, and she’d turn around and ask “why can’t you be that guy?” and my dumbass would be like “idk”.Well not really, I did try to change for her. 

A little over half a year after our relationship ended, I went on somewhat of a dating spree (5 girls in one year is a dating spree to me.) I purposely dated girls that went out frequently--girls the old me would not have trusted in a billion years. I trusted them though. and when they played me, I learned not to take it to heart. This was somewhat of a penance for me, I think. So I guess you can say that I’ve been training, prepping my emotional side for the day to give trust to someone who deserves it. 

I feel so alone right now. Not sure what is stagnant about my life. Just kinda hit a plateau tho. The last time I had been sad was January of this year, (I was seeking counseling from October 2017-January 2018 which helped tremendously.) I think I might be homesick??? Looking back at it, I felt this way march 2017, and summer 2017 (led to my break up with my ex). Throughout these times, I was away from my family for an extended time. (saw them about 2x in half a year.) Maybe I’m experiencing something similar right now (I’ve seen them 2x in a year, actually). Fuck, living 7 hours from them blows. 

I was looking back at my messages with my ex, and I saw some from March 2017 talking about how I didn’t know what was going on, I just knew I was sad and needed her. I remember driving down to san antonio to visit her, and crying so much. I actually called my mom before I left I think and told her how I felt sick and needed to see someone. Something was wrong with my head. That was the first time I acknowledged my psychological distress. I told two people and you were one of them Zeila. I went home that weekend and felt better with you and my family. The feeling returned late july and early august. Something was off even with my family. I wasn’t myself. We got back home from florida and I called you up and ended things because you mentioned how I didn’t even make time to text you anymore. Idk why I get so triggered about shit like that, even to this day. Like fuck I don’t think its wrong for me to take time off every once in a while to just have the day to myself. Either way, i regret that day. 

I wouldn’t say it physically pains me, but my heart definietly feels something when I look back on that day.