#also i hadnt really checked the text so he called me up to tell me that he has whatsapped me to inform me that he has mailed me

[definitelynotnia]

why do dads text you like you're their coworker- my dad texted me on whatsapp to inform me he has emailed me

father in christ you could directly just text? this email could have been a dm

[joostsblog]

heyy i was wondering if you could write an angst to comfort joost fic where the reader is just like exhausted from everything and goes nonverbal bc theyre so tired and just frustrated and exhausted and joost gets worried when he hadnt heard from them in awhile so he goes to their house they break down in tears and he just comforts them?

Thanks for the request, I saw the opportunity to combine this request with another, I hope you don't mind! Here's the other request:

I hope the description of living with chronic pain is somewhat accurate 🫶🫶

cold tea ~ Joost Klein one shot

My masterlist here ✨💌

Pairing: Joost Klein x reader (with chronic pain)

Description: During a particular bad episode of chronic pain, Joost is worried about you and checks up on you as he hadn't heard from you in a while.

Word Count: 0.7k

A/N: Again, I hope the both of you don't mind that I combined these requests💌 requests still open although I can't promise too many as I'll be on vacation the next two weeks ☀️ if you liked it, you can show your support by leaving a reblog 🫶

Warnings: not proofread

You were curled up in bed, cuddling your teddy bear, eyes tightly shut as you tried everything in you to forget about the pain throughout your body. This week had been a series of really bad days for your chronic pain, barely getting any sleep at night and not being able to turn up to work. Your body was so tired you knew the only thing it wanted to do right now was just to fall asleep but the pain within it made it impossible. On top of that, you felt guilty for ignoring your boyfriend Joost. There were dozens of worried unanswered texts from him on your phone accompanied by ignored phone calls. But for the past few days, the pain and the mental load that came along with it was so bad that you couldn't muster up much strength to text him back.

You had only started dating a few weeks ago which meant that Joost didn't know much about your issues with chronic pain. You were worried that Joost would think that you were purposefully ignoring him because you wanted to break things off him with - which couldn't be further from the truth. You were head over heels for the sweet boy. You wanted to spend every waking moment with him, curled up in his arms, laughing and giggling with him.

He's probably angry with me for not answering, you thought to yourself.

The shrill sound of the doorbell shattered through your head. You sighed as you knew you had to get up. You had ordered some takeout since you didn't feel like cooking but you knew you had to feed your body. With a wince, you slowly sat up straight and made your way to the door. Your heart might as well have briefly stopped beating as you saw Joost stand outside your door.

"(Y/N)?" Joost asked timidly, a concerned look on his face. "Is everything alright?"

You wanted to speak but couldn't bring your mouth to form any words. Too exhausted but also too embarrassed to speak. Instead, your throat just felt dry and you could feel tears welling up in your eyes.

"Oh, (Y/N)," Joost whispered with a frown as he saw your tears. "Do you- can I-," you could tell that Joost didn't quite know what to do. So you just opened the door wider indicating for him to come in. "Can I hug you?" Joost asked softly as he stepped into your flat and you nodded. Joost very softly wrapped his arms around your body, very careful not to hurt you in any way. "Is it the pain?" he asked and you nodded against his chest. "Let me take care of you," Joost whispered against your hair as he pressed a soft kiss against your head. He led you back to your bedroom and softly tucked you in under the covers. "Be right back."

A few minutes later he appeared again with a cup of tea which he placed on the nightstand and got in bed next to you. Joost opened his arms and you nodded and he scooted closer to you and wrapped his arms around you carefully. For the first time in days, you could feel your body slowly relaxing. Joost started humming a soft melody and you could feel the exhaustion taking over your body slowly lulling you to sleep.

~

When you awoke, your head rested on Joost's lap, his hand softly caressing your head. He was reading an article on his phone and your heart fluttered as you caught a glimpse of the title: How to support a loved one with chronic pain.

Joost could feel you shift so he set down his phone and checked on you.

"Oh, you're awake," he smiled. "Your food came," he updated you. "And your tea went cold."

"Ice tea," you mumbled with a weak smile and Joost's eyes went wide with joy at finally hearing your voice again. Your body still felt sore but you were thankful that you were able to get at least a little bit of sleep.

"You're hungry?" Joost asked and you nodded. "I'll be right back," he said and got up before leaning down to you again to press a gentle kiss on your forehead. You smiled.

Your worries about Joost not being understanding or not having patience were completely forgotten. Instead, you felt cared for and loved by him. You smiled at him as he entered the room with the Thai curry you had ordered.

"Thank you," you said, your voice still slightly straining. "I love you."

Joost smiled fondly at you before he pressed another kiss to your head.

"I love you too, liefde."

[ifimdreaming]

i don’t deserve you

//

Luke Hughes x Reader

authors note: i wrote this super quick and also on my phone so idk the word count or if this even makes sense because it is unedited lmaooo but I hope you enjoy it!

-

You had just hopped out of the shower and were putting on uour leggings and one of lukes hoodies to wear for the day.

You hadnt really been wearing anything besides for lukes hoodies when you have a day at home since you two started dating so honestly it was nothing new.

Going back to your room after cleaning up the rest of your stuff in the bathroom, you remembered you forgot to text Luke back last night. he always gets on you about that but you always forget how worried he gets when you don’t reply to his calls or texts.

And when you head to look at your phone that’s plugged into the charger on your bedside table, you see many missed notifications from your worried boyfriend.

(4 missed called from: Lukey @ 10:37am)

Lukey: hey you said you’d call me at 10?

Lukey: call me back pls

it was now nearing 12:00pm and you knew he would be more than a little bit pissed off that you weren’t answering him.

and you felt terrible about forgetting so you unplug your phone and called him back right away, sat on your bed with a towel around yojr hair as the phone rings in suspense.

“baby? ...let me guess? you forgot to check your phone again?..” he quickly says as you are getting more comfortable on the bed, relieved he had answered your call.

You just hum in response as he pours out his concern to you, knowing that all he’s saying is true.

“i’m so so sorry. i completely forgot. i know you’re looking out for me but i fell asleep without texting and i literally just got out of the shower.” You say and hear him sigh at your words.

“Luke i promise i’ll try to keep my phone close by cuz i know you worry...but i’m fine i promise” you say apologetically .

“i didn’t get murdered or anything..” you add jokingly but quickly follow up with an “i’m kidding...” before luke gets a chance to be a smart ass and tell you not to joke about that.

You laugh a little hearing him sigh with an unamused tone in his voice.

“anyway, how are you?” You ask trying to move on from the subject knowing he is already annoyed about you not answering his calls.

“i really miss you...” he sighs out and you hear the little bit of sadness in his voice and instantly feel exactly how he’s feeling.

“i miss you more bubs...trust me time will fly by way faster than you know it…we’ll see each other soon..i promise.” You reassure him, not trying to sound too cheesy but also trying to lift his spirits somewhat.

it’s been over 2 months since you’ve seen each other last. School has picked up and made it impossible to be able to visit him in jersey, even just for a weekend.

You were starting to forget a time where it actually was easy to see each other.

And you were getting so used to late night phone calls to one another, and luke sending you random long ass text messages about how much he misses you at random hours of the night. and you being so fed up with everything that you cave and just call him even when you know he’s busy or at practice, because you miss hearing his voice so much.

“it’s just been so long since i’ve seen your face. ugh i hate this shit so much. i’m just... so fucking over it.” Luke continues pouring out and his words are laced with a bit of anger, causing his voice to have a scratchy and dark quality.

he’s clearly getting more and more frustrated about the current situation the longer it goes on and you know he’s getting irritated with only being able to talk on the phone and over facetime. we both are.

“Luke i understand... i miss you and i love you so much. And look, i know you’re upset but there’s really not much we can do about it right now is there?” You say before luke interrupts you with a loud sigh.

“hey what can i do though? huh? ...how can i help you feel better?” You ask with as much reassurance in your voice as possible, trying hard to keep your voice high and uplifting even though youre feeling just as down and unhappy as he is right now.

he doesn’t answer and you are sat in silence for too long to still be expecting him to answer your question.

“what’s on your mind? Will u just talk to me?” You ask innocently.

“ugh. fuck! i don’t know! nothing i guess.” Luke sighs out, raising his voice and catching you off guard.

“i’m just trying to help … can you calm down a little..” you say quietly because you know he was probably wound up about a lot of stuff on his mind and you can tell that he is putting his anger in the wrong places.

“you don’t need to tell me to calm down...there’s nothing you can do ok? it’s fucking awful. i hate this...fuck..” he spits out at me. “can we just talk about something else?” he asks with his voice still raised.

“look, im not trying to force you to talk to me if you don’t want to but you called me and clearly something is on your mind..whether it’s the fact that we can’t be together right now or something else but you can’t just get angry with me for no reason.” You say sternly and hear him about to say something more but you interrupt him “just please lower your voice...” you add.

“i’m not getting angry. i’m just really fucking annoyed and you’re not helping” he says exasperatedly and you are taken by surprise with his words and a little pissed off that he’s taking out whatever he is angry about at you.

You stay silent on the other end of the phone as his words instantly put tears into yohr eyes and you don’t say anything because he is being so unnecessarily rude to you.

“i’m sorry, i’m just having a really fucking bad day...” he adds and you hold your breath trying to not make your shaky breathing noticeable as he keep talking.

You begin to feel the tears slowly start to stream down your face but you quickly blink them away knowing he’s only mad about the situation and not worth yours tears. but his words made you feel so so hurt.

there’s silence between the both of you for a few seconds as you try to get yourself together and acknowledge that he hurt you.

“Ok. Im not gonna sit here and listen to you complain about something that i literally cannot fix or change right now. i’m sorry you’re feeling upset and angry with what’s going on but you can’t just call me and take all your fucking anger out on me. it’s just not fair. i really miss you too ok? ...i’m sorry we can’t be together right now but i can’t do anything to help if you’re not going to tell me what’s actually wrong...just...call me back when you calm down a little” you say trying your hardest to not raise your voice and lash out exactly like he just did to you.

he’s quiet on the other side of the phone and you hear him about to reply as you hang up the phone before he has the chance to respond, knowing you are probably not going to like or want to hear what he has to say to you at this moment anyway.

this isn’t the first conversation that’s went like this recently. this past week luke has been getting more and more pissed off and angry rather than just upset about you not being able to see each other right now and it’s not doing you any good.

Youve been trying your hardest to just hear him out and be there for him but today’s conversation was different, usually you share a mutual sadness about not being able to see each other and talk about all the things you miss and then it cheers you both up hearing all the fun things you can do together once exams and the hockey season ends.

but today luke wouldn’t even tell you what was bothering him without getting mad and it didn’t help that he was putting his anger towards you.

Feeling really frustrated about that conversation, you plug your phone back into the charger and start to feel a slight sinking in your stomach.

You hated the fact that you just hung up on him and didn’t resolve your discussion. And you knkw it was his fault for getting angry at you but can’t help but feel a little guilty for just hanging up the phone without saying goodbye.

to get your mind off of it for a while you start tidying up your room and play some music to drown out the silence.

Now it’s almost nearing 2pm and luke hasn’t called back or even texted and it’s been almost an hour.

You begin to get more and more pissed off that he hasn’t said anything and consider just sending him a text but you remember the things he said to you . so you ignore the feeling and continue waiting for him to call you back.

-

After deciding to lay down and read a book to distract yourself, you accidentally fell asleep for a few hours. Waking up to see that it’s around 6pm...you definitely slept longer than you should have.

Surprisingly, you see that luke tried calling back and left a few texts as well.

Lukey: hi

Lukey: i’m really sorry about earlier

Lukey: can you call me back please? i need to apologize...i didn’t mean to get upset at you. i know none of this is your fault

Lukey: please call me back

You decide not to answer him right away and start making yourself some mac and cheese and sitting at the dining room table waiting as you wait for the water to boil.

You were beginning to get so impatient. Impatient with everything, but especially with luke. You wanted him to call you again. Do something, say something. Try harder.

Your thoughts were spiraling and you knew calling him back was really the only way to stop them.

After finishing making and eating your dinner you sit down at the couch to finally call luke back. at this point your stupid argument definitely didn’t feel worth all this and you felt a little guilty for ignoring him all day long.

You ultimately decide to facetime him so you can see his face and he answers you on the second ring.

immediately you see him laying down in his bed wearing no shirt and his wet hair hanging down his face on one side and his face slightly smushed against his pillow.

he smiles at you knowingly and waits for you to say something so that he knows if i’m still angry at him or not.

“why are you staring at me?” You blush a little, ignoring your anger for a moment. he just smiles back at you with his pretty little face and completely ignores the question.

Luke sees you awkward laugh a little feeling a bit insecure with the way he’s staring at you, but he continues. and he laughs lightly as he sits up and turns the light on so that you can see him better.

“i’m really really sorry baby...” he starts “i’m sorry for getting upset at you. I shouldn’t have done that. i was just so fed up and tired of not being able to see you and i let my feelings get the best of me, i also was just having a really shitty day. Practice fucking sucked today and you already know how shitty our game has been lately.” He says with honest sincerity and regret in his voice.

“i took my anger out at you which i should not have done...and im really not trying to make any excuses because I know i hurt you. And i promise i won’t get mad at you about this ever again, especially since you did absolutely nothing wrong...” he spills out apologetically.

You say nothing at first and just wait for him to continue his apology. making it clear to him that he was completely out of hand and you are not gonna put up with his bitchy attitude. And he continues,

“... to be honest i’ve been feeling like you don’t miss me as much as i miss you which sounds stupid but i just got so angry because i didn’t understand. When you forget to call or text i just…i take it hard..” he says trailing off at the end.

“what? luke i’ve been trying so hard to keep it together for you because i know how upset this makes you. trust me when i tell you i miss you more than anything...i suck at remembering things like texting goodnight and stuff because I’ve just been so exhausted with work and school. You’re on my mind all the time and i promise you that i will try harder to not forget those things.” you quickly reply, making sure he understands just how much you mean it.

“i love you so much.” You add and smile at him as uou see his small smile on your phone screen.

“i love you too baby. i’m so sorry for getting mad..” he says quietly and puts his head down a little.

“it’s ok...i understand your frustration.” You add with a little laugh letting him know you’re over it.

“i saw your instagram story..” you change the subject and he smiles at you with his face getting a bit red.

“You posted us?” You say knowingly as he smirks at you and runs his hands through his hair.

Luke had posted a slightly blurry photo of the two of you on the boat last summer saying he misses both the summer and you. It made you melt to see him gush about you, especially because he was typically such a private person.

“You are so cute..” you say honestly. and youstart to laugh a little remembering that night on the boat together and how it was the night luke asked you to be his girlfriend.

Luke wasnt always the most romantic person but he put so much thought into that night, his words, every little thing he planned he put so much care into and it was such a beautiful moment.

You would never forget it.

“im glad you saw it. i wanted to show you how much you mean to me..and how sorry i was.” he chuckles and it makes you softly laugh, knowing the world would have no idea that post was technically an apology to you.

“will you stay on FaceTime with me tonight? i miss falling asleep with you…” you ask politely and luke nods his head and smiles at you.

“of course...” he replies.

“i’m glad you’re not mad at me anymore baby” He says quietly.

“I could never stay mad at you..” you say knowing how true of a statement it honestly was.

“...and I don’t deserve you” luke says almost in a whisper, seemingly more to himself as opposed to you

-

-

[unofficialadamtaurus]

i woke up from my deep new years slumber this morning and checked ao3 for anything to feed me. what i was met with was a full course meal in the form of wilt & scatter updating. i was jolly beyond words. if i hadnt just woke up i would have jumped around my room and danced. happy new year

I LOVE EVERYTHING THIS CHAPTER IMPLIES ABOUT ADAMS CHARACTER!!!!!! HE TOO IS DEFECTING, BUT NOT OUT OF A "CHANGE OF HEART" LIKE BLAKE, BUT BY STAYING TRUE TO HIS ORIGINAL MOTIVE OF PROTECTING THE FAUNUS!!!!!!!!!! tell me if im wrong but IM PRETTY SURE ADAM'S HELPING RUBY BUST THESE OPERATIONS CUS THEYRE ONLY GOING TO JAIL... im sure jail is easy for someone like adam to break out of, he can lead a charge to save some imprisoned faunus. i feel like its one of those situations where theyre better off in jail for now, because its either jail or......... Ms. C the LandLord. worst landlord EVER . IF IM WRONG THEN IM SPEAKING OUT OF MY ASS, BUT GOD I LOVE IT!!!!!! adam queuing ruby in on the smuggling... theyve become a well oiled machine if theyve done this like 5 times by now. not to mention i love the suspicion there is on ruby now. how does she know this? weiss is right, how do you get Sources (tm) as a first year from beacon that grew up on an island as what i can only assume is a farmhand outside of huntress training (i mean seriously!!! thats a farm!!! im sure they have livestock just over the fence that yang and ruby took care of!)

love blake here. she feels very volume 1 in the best way possible. shes abrasive in her own cool way and very passionate. her blowing the team off out of anger is so good. i want a scene where both blake and ruby see adam and recognize him and blake turns around and strangles ruby while demanding answers of "HOW DO YOU KNOW HIM??? HOW??? HUH???" . hell, if ruby is communicating with adam through texts and calls, im sure blake may want to follow ruby when she dips off to take An Important Phone Call from her Friend From Signal. or however they do it. SUSPICIOUS BLAKE FOR THE WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

a small tidbit but i love the idea that ruby smells very obviously like roses, especially to faunus who have better senses of smell than humans. i always imagined adam taking notice and being like "get a new shampoo or something that one smells really strong" and rubys like "i use a 3 in 1 theres no scent" . the scent thing is an interesting way to .. kind of nerf her? shes very good at espionage due to her semblance, it almost looks like teleportation with how quick she can move, so having her opponents be able to smell her is really interesting.

also.. glad the dust robberies are leading up to something... it feels like it at least... cussssss............ mountain glen is looking like the next smuggling spot, considering all the supplies that make it out of vale are heading there. and im sure, maybe, in this AU, mountain glen could quickly snowball into ruining something else . a uh. certain festival. yknow. ohgohgohgohgohgoghoghorrrrrr

Replying late (happy new year!) but hell yeah you got Adam's motivation exactly right!! Some people were struggling with it lol. I'm guessing they don't know me / haven't read my other stuff so they're thinking it's the usual "Adam's a shady one-dimensional bad guy" beat.

Mountain Glenn is hmmm let's say...important. In the grand scheme of this fic. And Adam & Ruby's relationship.

[unlikelyempathpruneauthor]

Tour without You

Summary: fans saw the video of cal singing ghost of you and people think you two broke up.

a/n: SO YALL KNOW WHICH VIDEO I'M TALKING ABOUT RIGHT? Idk if he was actually crying, but a part of me tells me he was, but idk who knows, but i hope he was okay and is doing okay now.

You were currently home watching duke at yours and cal’s place. You couldn't go on tour with cal because of work, so being alone was a norm you had grown into. Whenever you didn't go on tour you and cal would spend time calling one another whenever a show was over, so he could see you and if you needed to comfort him for anything. He hated when he had to leave you alone, but you would reassure him you had someone that was a part of him. Duke would usually stay with the dog sitter, but when you stayed back home you watched duke. You two would have some quality time together as usual so the small pup can use his energy throughout the day.

For Cal though today, just wasn't his day. Their bus tour had taken a re-route, they got to the venue late, he couldn't focus during rehearsal since it was cut short, from them arriving late. Usually when stress came he was able to handle it well, but you usually were there to comfort him right there and then, which also added to his stress as well, not being able to be with you in moments like these. Fans in the audience and online had seen his expression and worried for him, especially when singing Ghost of you. He hated that his stress would reflect how he acts during shows, but today was really bad for him. Cal doesn't really notice when fans are recording, but a video had gone viral during the concert within minutes and fans skepulating about you and cal. You had no idea of this hence you not being near your phone all day and having a nice day out with duke. Your phone had been blasting all night and once you got home with duke you checked it once seeing all the notifications on all of your socials.You were slightly confused as to why there were so many so you checked it out.

@5SOSUPDATES: is it possible cal and y/n broke up? Could be because they haven been posting with one another. Also today’s performance he seemed sad, especially during Ghost of you.

“What the hell?” you said as the puppy barked at you as you continued to look for something that gave you some sort of idea that was going on. Then MTV also made a topic off of it.

SPECULATING BREAK UP RUMOURS: POPSTAR CALUM HOOD AND GIRLFRIEND Y/N L/N POSSIBLY BROKE UP BEFORE A SHOW DURING TOUR

You were quick to find the resources they were using to claim these speculations and there was a video of cal singing ghost of you, at first it was all good, he was singing good, you saw no sad emotions, but when it got to him harmonizing, with the ghost of you, that's when his expression changed. At first you thought that it was just the way he was singing. But you looked over and yeah you were convinced he was crying.

You tried to first go over anything you might have said to make him upset, but there was nothing, you texted when you could and he seemed fine the night before, so you didn't know what was wrong. Unless he lied to you, which he would do when he was away from you. He didn't want to bother you, but you always told him to talk to you when he was feeling down and not himself. You were always going to be there to talk to him always. Just then you got a call from mali, you were quick to answer as she probably has seen these as well.

“Mali, hey.” you said as she spoke, “hey super weried, but have you been on your socials and possibly MTV?” she asked as you sighed, “yes i have.” you said as she contuned, “okay, is it ture?? Did you two break up? Omg did cal do something because i swear-” she said as you giggled and cut her off, “no we didn't, well at least i think so, but uh, no i called him before this show and he seemed fine, but you know how he is, he doesn't tell the full truth until you get it out of him.” you said as she hummed, “thats true, well are you talking to him tonight?” she asked as you hummed back, “yeah i should be getting a call in about an hour, i dont think he has checked his phone yet, so i'll call you first thing alright?” you said as she hummed and you two said your goodbyes. As your phone was still blowing up, more and more rumours were being made, but you didn't expect to be getting attacked.

5SOSWILDFLOWER: Yall, there are some photos of y/n with another guy before cal had gone to tour, guess cal has a reason.

|

Caly/n_stan: i don't think she would cheat though, they've been together for years.

|

Lukehemmingsstan: i mean yeah but people change especially when dating a celeb, and it wouldn't be the first time a 5sos member would be cheated on.

|

@mikeycliff5sos: i mean you can tell she was just in it for the money and the fame, she never spoke about her job.

You were at first confused as to what pictures you were talking about, but then you clearly remember you were with the dog sitter, who happens to be a guy. He was one of Cal's best friends and he always took care of duke when you were away. You were there before cal had gone to tour, to tell him personally that you were staying with duke, since you knew him and it would be nice to catch up on duke’s behavior. Of course the fans didn't know that, but that didn't mean they should attack you. You were kinda stressed about this situation, especially with the things being said, fans even started to question your real intentions with cal and wondered if you were just after cal for his money and fame questioning your line of work as well, which wasnt public because you line of work was importnatn, you were a visual editor at entertainment company and well you kept it private and you didn't want any problems.

On cal’s side of things, he hadnt checked his phone at all wanting to handle one side of stress at a time. After teh show he realxed before calling you, making sure he looked good and fine. But once he lifted his phone he had seen so many notifications, at first he thought it was about the show from tonight but when he clicked he saw everything that was being said about you and him that you two had broken up and the means things being said about you. He was quick to call you as you answered quickly hoping he was okay.

“Hey” you both said quite rapidly, “sorry you go first.” cal said as you sighed and spoke, “are you okay? But i want to know the full truth cal, you know you can talk to me.” you said as he rubebd his head and wished he had spoken to you before anything, he knew if he talked to you hten these rumours wouldnt be made. “Fuck love, im sorry, we had to reroute the show for tonight we got there late, and rehearsal was rushed and, today i didn't do my best to hide my stressed emotions, i tried, but i couldnt, all i wnated to do was talk to you before the show, but i wasnt able to,” he said as his voice was cracking and you felt bad for him, you knew he handled stress well, but you knew today was one of those days, “bub its okay, just talk to me about this kind of stress to help you when you can, no matter what time it may be. I know im not htere, but remeber im a phone call away, always. No matter waht okay, you call me when youre feeling like this.” you said as he smiled a little missing you so much more than he should be able to.

“Youre too good for me you know that? Im sorry for waht the fans are saying, i'll straighten it out babe, they shouldnt be saying this stuff about you,” he said as you giggled, “its fine, it hurt at first, but i mean this all happend beucase i was out with dukes dogsitter,” you said as he laughed a little, “gosh the fans are really out of hand, i love you so much, youre there for me more than many times i could even count, you know youre it for me,” he said as you blushed hearing his words, he would tell you this all the time. It was true, you were it for him and he was it for you. “And youre it for me too, and i'll happily be there for you, always you know that.” you said as he smiled and jsut couldnt wait to get home to you. After talking for about 2 hours, you said your goodbyes and you had gone with the rest of your day as cal had straighten out with the fans about his citation.

He posted a picture on his story of you and captioned it:

To clear out the rumours from today, me and y/n are happily together. y/n has not and has never cheated on me, for those who know she is everything to me and i will do anything to not lose her. There is no anger towards this situation jsut please, be careful with what you say on the interent, even if y/n and i dont post about us everyday its not htat wer are not together, we like to live in the present with one another since i go away for tour. Usually shes here with me, but sadly she isnt. So again please just be aware with what you are posting, we are human and things that were said towards her will hurt anyone.

[fluffi]

AN INTERVIEW WITH EXES :: HEESEUNG

heeseung x gn!reader. angst, exes-to-friends!au. 1021 words. toxic relationship warning. credit to @by-moonflower​.

the first installment of this untimed and unplanned series. be sure to check out @/by-moonflower’s skz and svt versions!

[how did you meet?]

heeseung: well, it was fate, i guess.

you: not really, now that this fever dream is over.

heeseung: if you could just put your petty feelings aside for a moment then we could do this freaking interview.

you: i didnt know i was going to have to do this with you. i wouldnt have shown up if i knew it was going to be between us.

heeseung:

[cut]

you: you were running out of your training building...

heeseung: and you were walking with your iced coffee. you know what happens next.

you: you didnt look at where you were going and bumped into me and my untouched ice coffee! i hadnt even taken a sip.

heeseung: it spilled all over my shirt. i was about to apologize but you and your courteous self decided to help me clean up and one impromptu date led to another one. before i knew it, you would wait for me outside the building every friday evening to hang out.

you: i wasted time out of my only free day to go shopping for new clothes with you, and then i wasted that same free day every evening to spend time with you, only for it to result in...nothing.

heeseung: you didnt waste your time back then.

you: maybe i didn’t last time, but now i have. i wasted months of time and money that i put into this failed relationship.

heeseung: im sorry

you: why are you only saying it now?

[why did you break up?]

you: i dont want to talk about it.

heeseung: i..was stupid back then.

you: i think its good that youre admitting that now. a few years later.

heeseung:

[cut]

heeseung: i was having a long day. i returned home to see you there, and i was happy, but-

you: theres always a but.

heeseung:

heeseung: i got scolded horribly that day, nothing was just going the way i wanted it to. and then i came back to see you so cheerful. you were excited and kept on clinging onto me. i dont know...i- i lashed out.

you: lashed out is an understatement. maybe i shouldnt have been excited to see you return that day. if i were sad, would we still be together right now?

heeseung: no. i hate to say it...we were, perhaps, never fated to work out.

you:

you: i need a moment.

[cut]

you: he lashed out at me and told me that i was annoying, unbearable, and so clingy. he described me as a leech. then, he-

heeseung: dont say it. please, dont.

you: ...he told me that we should’ve never been together. apparently i was the only thing keeping him from success back then.

you: i hope you’ve succeeded now. i hope youre happy without me. thats what you were looking for. happiness. i couldnt provide that for you.

heeseung: i dont know what was wrong with me. i ended up calling you, texting you, knocked on your door every night, expecting a response, even though i knew that i wasnt deserving of one.

you: ...and you didnt get it. i moved out on my own, made new friends. i lived my life the way i truly wanted to live it. i wasnt just your “leech” anymore, i was my own new person.

heeseung: im happy that youre free now. i truly am. i was toxic back then, wasnt i?

you: i didnt see it back then, but as time went on, i figured that we were both toxic, each in our own different way.

heeseung: i thought it was just me? i seriously dont think you did anything wrong.

you: maybe you were blinded by your major mistake that led to our downfall. perhaps, i really was too clingy.

heeseung:

heeseung: oh.

[when were you happiest together?]

heeseung: this is easy. the start of the relationship. puppy love does weird things to your heart.

you: honestly, i think everything flowed better when we werent seeing each other as much. i couldnt cling onto you, and you couldnt yell at me for clinging onto you.

heeseung: thats also true. everytime we stayed together for more than twenty-four hours, we ended up fighting. then it led to ignoring each other, then you wailing at three in the morning, then me consoling you and apologizing, and repeat.

you: you really didnt have to expose me like that.

heeseung: your wailing was kind of cute, not going to lie.

you:

[cut]

you: we really did better when we were busy doing our own things.

heeseung: the weekly meetups were enough for us. perhaps...more than enough. it felt like our dates were my hiatus from the real world.

you: yeah, to sum it up, our relationship was a fever dream, an escape from our real lives.

heeseung:

heeseung: yeah, you were my source of joy, until i felt like you overstepped your boundaries.

you: and you were my source of freedom, until you blocked me out from your life.

you:

you: are we finally agreeing on something?

[what was unique about your relationship?]

heeseung: so many things!

you: mmhm. our route of communication was nothing like what our friends had.

heeseung: everyone around us were always texting their significant others, telling them that they missed them, kisses through facetime, cheesy things that we never felt comfortable doing.

you: we were different. the only times we’d meet seemed to either be utopia or dystopia. there was no in between.

heeseung: i think we just didn’t match. maybe we weren’t like our friends because...we couldn’t be, maybe we didnt see each other in the same tunnel of affection.

[would you try again?]

you: from what we’ve said earlier...

heeseung: no.

you: oh, good! i thought you were going to say something else.

heeseung: i think it is obvious that we were never meant to be together. even our first encounter was a disaster.

you: wow, you really have to put it that way, dont you?

heeseung: i was just stating the truth! besides, we could always try again...platonically?

you:

you: i’d like that. i really would.

2021 © fluffi

[brelione]

Not as Terrible (Rafe Cameron X Routledge!Reader)

Warnings:Not proof read, swearing

Being John.B’s older sister was definitely and adventure.You were only older by a year but that one year age gap did a lot for you.Whether it was arguments or discussions on who would do a dangerous task you could always pull the older sibling card.

Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didnt but it was always worth a shot.But then again being the older sibling and John.B’s only family meant that you had other responsibilities,including messing up anyone that messed with him.

Rafe kissed you gently, a grin on his face. “I love you.”He grinned,hands in your hoodie pocket. “I know.I gotta go soon,JB’s gonna get made at me.”His face fell,pouting. “He shouldnt be your responsibility.”He grumbled,holding you tight.

You simply shrugged, not wanting to go through your life story and how it was now your job to take care of him.He could never understand the situation, he didnt really give a damn about Sarah.He also had a father, a shitty one for sure but he still had a father at least.He couldnt understand being a pogue either.

You guys were completely different in pretty much every way imaginable but ‘opposites attract’ or whatever bullshit. “I know….I’ll see you tomorrow though, right?”You asked,sitting up.He nodded,pulling you into another quick kiss before kissing your forehead lightly.

 “Dont forget to hate me.”You reminded him,opening his window and sliding down the fire escape,feeling his eyes on you as you hopped the fence.He sighed, becoming tired of the little game you guys had to play.

Because Rafe was the direct enemy of your brother and his friends that meant that you were supposed to avoid him entirely.It was just the rules of life.But that being said if you ever came across one of your brothers enemies you had to mess with them.

That included messing with Rafe,randomly showing up and flicking the back of his head,disappearing before he knew it was you.It started as you being an annoying presence to ruin his day,spitting gum onto his windshield or placing fake tickets on his car.

But slowly you started falling in love with him because of course you did.It was fucked up but you couldnt stop it, him eventually falling for you too.Thats when this little game began, sneaking out of your house and over to Rafe’s to cuddle and watch movies together,coming home late at night when John.B and his friends were having a fire.

JJ would pull you onto his lap, asking where you had been.He had a thing for you, claiming that it would be fine if the two of you guys got together because you were only eight months older than him so it wasnt that strange.

The age gap itself wasnt strange, it was the fact that he was your brother’s best friend for the last eight years that made things strange.You were fine with sitting in his lap while he whispered jokes into your ear in attempts to get you to laugh.

Of course it felt a little wrong because you were dating Rafe but you couldnt exactly tell him that without John.B finding out too, instead just letting JJ mess around with you because you knew nothing was going to come from it.

The next day you were decided to go with them to the beach, regretting it when you saw Rafe with Topper and Kelce, sitting in beach chairs with beer bottles in their hands.You saw JJ’s jaw clench, John.B rolling his eyes.

 “Why are they here?This isnt fair.”You brother grumbled, Pope nodding in agreement.The five of you decided to sit in the sand for a while,JJ’s hand on your knee almost like he was trying to protect you from Rafe’s eyes.If only he knew.Rafe kept looking over to you, a blush on his cheeks as he did so.

Eventually they left, leaving you and your brothers friends alone on the beach. “You know, I think im just gonna head back home.I have a headache.”You told them, making your way up the sandy hills before they could question it.As you began your walk down one of the dirt streets to get back to the house a bike pulled up next to you, your boyfriend being the one riding it.

 “Hey pretty girl.”You could practically hear the smile through his helmet.You sighed, stopping your walk to stare at him as he took off his helmet,leaning down to give you a quick kiss. “You coming to my house tonight?”He asked, twisting the fabric of your tshirt.

You shrugged, not sure what your brother was going to be doing. “I dont know if I can, John.B and the others might want me to go get groceries with them or something.”You replied,feeling his grip on you tighten,humming. “I havent messed with them in a while.”He muttered, glad when you smiled. 

“Thats good, I would have beat your ass if you did.”You teased with a roll of your eyes. He chuckled,kissing your forehead. “I would've liked it though.”He admitted.You laughed,smacking his arm lightly. “Shut up.”You grumbled, unaware of JJ watching you guys. 

“Is he bothering you?”JJ asked, coming out from his hiding spot in the trees.Your eyes widened, your stomach tightening.Shit. “Uh...no, everythings fine, JJ.Just go back to the beach.”You told him,hoping you didnt sound too suspicious.His blue eyes fell to your hand, the one that was holding Rafe’s.Fuck. 

“Is something going on that I should know about?”He asked,glaring at Rafe like he was trying to make his head blow up. “No, just go back to the beach.”You told him, a sort of assertive tone to your voice that was reserved for John.B when he wanted to do something dangerous.JJ’s eyebrows furrowed, not used to you speaking to him like this.

He nodded,walking away, sending you a look of disappointment before disappearing into the trees, most likely about to tell John.B what he had just seen.Rafe noticed how uneasy you were,hugging you. “Hey, dont stress about it.He’s got nothing on you, whats he gonna do?Complain that we were having a conversation?”He asked, not really helping.

“So I just saw (Y/N) talking to Rafe.”JJ grabbed a beer from the cooler, all eyes falling on him. “Cameron?”John.B asked, not really believing that you’d ever talk to such a vile human being.JJ nodded,sipping the alcoholic drink.

 “They were all over eachother, it was weird.”He grumbled, a slight jealousy in his voice.Kiara raised her eyebrows, a little mad about the situation. “What do you mean they were all over eachother?”She asked, looking over to Pope.

 “I mean they were holding hands and shit,giggling and he was like,I dont know.Its weird.”He tried his best to explain,realising it didnt sound as serious as it was. “(Y/N) doesnt giggle...she just...she just stares at people.Are you sure it was Rafe?”Pope asked.This was out of character for you.You had joined their conversations before, all of you talking shit about the Cameron family.

You had called Rafe a “Cruel, disgusting bitch.” it didnt make sense that you’d willingly talk to him.Meanwhile you were on the back of Rafe’s bike,arms wrapped around him tight as he pulled into his driveway, trying to figure out the best way to sneak you inside.

You ended up being hidden by him as you guys shuffled up the stairs, nearly getting caught by Ward.Luckily he was too busy on a call, not paying attention at all as Rafe pushed you inside his room, locking the door with a sigh. “What do you wanna watch?”He asked,falling on the bed next to you, grabbing the tv remote.

You shrugged,wrapping an arm around him with your head against his chest. “Doesnt matter.”You replied, watching as he picked a random horror movie,knowing that hed probably end up squealing and holding onto you.Your phone dinged, vibrating against your thigh.

You sighed,picking it up to check what someone could want or why they were trying to talk to you.It was a text from Kie, asking why the hell you were at Rafe Cameron’s house.There was no way in hell she actually knew that, she was probably just guessing.You sat up,taking Rafe with you, his chin on your shoulder and a frown on his face.

You:????

Kie:Your snap map is on.What are you doing with Rafe?

You:Im not with Rafe

Kie:Seriously like are you ok

You:Im fine lol

Kie:But why are you with Rafe?

You sighed,turning to look at the kook king. “What should I tell her?”You asked, unsure what to do.If you told her that you in Rafe were dating then she would obviously tell John.B and that meant that you would be in deep shit and would never hear the end of it.He sighed,kissing your shoulder lightly.

 “I dunno, baby.Tell her whatever you feel comfortable telling her.”That wasnt really helpful.You couldnt exactly lie to her.There was no other reason that you’d be at the Cameron’s mansion if it werent for Rafe.You hated Sarah because Kiara hated Sarah so you couldnt exactly use that excuse either.You were anxious the whole time you typed, praying that she wouldnt tell the others.

You:Can you keep a secret?

Kie:Yeah

You:What would you do if I told you I was dating Rafe?

Kie:You dumb idiot

Kie:Rafe??Really?Out of all people?

Kie:Hoe you could do better

Kie:So like youre cool with him hitting JJ and Pope?

Kie:Shit you need to tell JJ

You sighed,biting the inside of your cheek. “Why do you need to tell JJ?”Rafe asked,curious.You groaned,leaning against him. “He’s got a thing for me.”You explained, hoping you hadnt made him feel insecure.

You:He’s nice to me,ok?Plus he hasnt beat anyone in months and im happy and I just need you to not say anything

You waited for an answer, only seeing a ‘read’ receipt. “Shit.”You sighed, realizing that you had probably made the wrong decision by telling her about your relationship. “What?”He asked, not understanding exactly what had happened. 

“Watch her tell everyone.”You tossed your phone down onto the blanket, laying on top of your boyfriend. “It wouldnt be so bad,would it?”He asked, knowing that you were probably embarrassed to be with him. “I just...you know how they feel about you.”you reminded him, hearing him sigh. 

“I know.”He replied as he rubbed small circles along your stomach. “Im trying to change though.”He muttered, pressing a kiss to your neck.You nodded, understanding. “I know you are but they dont.”You grumbled,your leg resting at his hip as he continued leaving kisses down your neck.

You didnt leave until four in the morning, staying up with him the whole night.Ward and Rose had gone out on a date, leaving the two of you with his house to yourselves.You sat on the kitchen counter,your legs around his waist as you shared a pint of icecream.

 “This is the expensive kind.”You noticed,coming across brownie chunks and bits of chocolate truffle.He smiled, nodding. “Yep, its just kook life I guess.”He replied, not really caring. “This shit is like...ten dollars a pint.”He only laughed, not understanding how you hadnt grown up with the same things he had.

He just couldnt wrap his head around the fact that not everyone was like him.You couldnt exactly blame him, he had been isolated most of his childhood and if he wasnt by himself he was surrounded by kooks. 

“You can go to the grocery store with me next week if you want.We can get all the expensive icecream you want...maybe we can get some for John.B too, you know, to win him over.”He explained his idea.You shrugged, not sure how to feel. 

“You dont even do your own grocery shopping, remember?”You asked, seeing him roll his eyes. “I’ll go grocery shopping for you, baby.We can get cookie dough and mix it into brownie batter.”He continued,scooping another spoonful of icecream.You bit the inside of your cheek, thinking about it.It sounded fun but most grocery stores wouldnt be open at the times you were with Rafe.

“I gotta go, i’ll see you tomorrow though.”You promised,kissing him quickly.He backed away to let you slide off the counter, putting your phone in your pocket. He tugged at your t shirt, bringing you close to him so he could place a kiss on your lips, enjoying the feeling that he knew he wouldnt feel for a day at least.

He knew that the second you left his happiness would leave with you, making his mood a bit dull as he hugged you.“Do you want icecream to go?”He offered.You were quick to shake your head, leaving quick so you could get home.He pouted, wishing you two could be together more often.

You tip toed into the house,turning on your bedroom light only to see The Pogues all sitting in there, staring at the door. “Rafe Cameron?”John.B asked, sitting up on your bed.You sighed, sitting down. 

“Really,Kie?”You asked, looking over to the brunette. “JJ took my phone!”She exclaimed, making your eyes travel to JJ. “Are you serious?”You asked the blonde, noticing him pouting. 

“I thought he should know.”He muttered.Pope just seemed mad. “How long has this been going on?”Your brother asked, glaring at you. “Im not doing this right now.”You shook your head, going to leave the room when he grabbed your wrist.

 “(Y/N).What would dad think?”He asked.You scoffed, unable to believe that he went there. “Dad would want me to be happy, unlike you.He hasnt bothered you guys in months!Cant you see that he’s changed?”You asked,all of them avoiding eye contact.

 “No!People like Rafe Cameron cant change, (Y/N)!Do you think he actually likes you?”John.B asked, regretting it the second it left his lips. “Oh, fuck you!”You exclaimed, leaving the room and slamming the door behind you. 

“What the hell, John.B?”Kiara shouted, angry with her friend. “I didnt mean it like that!Lets give her a minute to cool off.”John.B grumbled, feeling JJ and Pope glaring at him.

 “What the fuck is wrong with you?”Pope asked, just as angry as JJ.John.B just sat, listening to their cursing and anger. “I didnt mean it!”John.B shouted eventually, tired of their yelling.JJ shook his head, going to find you.

You werent in the bathroom or living room, leading him to think that maybe you had left until he looked out the kitchen window.He saw you in the hammock, leaving the house with a slam of the screen door and going to lay down next to you. 

“What do you want?”You asked, not looking at the blonde. “Does he really make you happy?”JJ asked,waiting patiently for your answer.You nodded, turning to look at him. “Very much, yeah.”You answered,seeing a grin on his face. 

“So then why does it matter what we think?I mean, im definitely the better choice here but if he makes you happy then go for it.”He chuckled, looking over to the house. “John.B is mad.”You muttered, wrapping your arms around JJ’s torso as the sun began to come up.

 “He’s always mad, doesnt matter.If he can hook up with girls all the time I dont see why you cant have a healthy, loving relationship.It seems dumb to me.”He shrugged.You laughed quietly, not understanding when JJ became a life coach. 

“Yeah, I agree.I just dont want him to be mad at me, you know?Its not like if he’s mad at you, you can just leave the house but I cant.Im stuck with that bitch all the time.”You ranted, earning a small laugh from him. 

“Yeah, true.I think you should just live your life how you want to live it.If you want to be with Rafe then be with Rafe.Personally im not a fan of him but that doesnt mean I can just control your relationships.I mean, youre right.He hasnt really bothered us in months and I havent seen him around The Cut looking for trouble so maybe he has changed.As long as its healthy and everything is consensual.Everything is consensual,right?”He asked, looking down at you.

You hadnt really seen this side of JJ before, usually only seeing his flirty and joking side. “Of course.”You replied, flicking his stomach. “Right, so thats good.If John.B’s mad then that sucks but there’s nothing you can do about it.”He sighed, staring up at the sky through the tree branches. 

“Are you mad?”You asked, curious for his answer.He bit his lip, thinking about it. “No, not really.I just cant believe you like him of all people.”He chuckled, feeling you flick his head. “I didnt like him at first, it kinda just happened.”You replied.JJ nodded, not saying anything else.

You fell asleep in the hammock next to JJ,waking up at noon.There was a note on the kitchen table saying that they had all decided to go out on the boat for the day and that there was pepsi and yogurt in the fridge.You could tell by the handwriting that Pope had written it, everyone else had probably forgot about you.

At eight the next night things werent as tense as they had been before.John.B had even driven you to Rafe’s house, ranting about safe sex and telling you to give Rafe a slice of ‘humble pie’.You rolled your eyes,getting out of the van and telling him to fuck off before walking up to Rafe’s front door, knocking lightly.

He told you that you didnt have to climb through his window anymore.Since you had to tell the pogues about your relationship he had decided to tell his family about it as well which meant he didnt have to hide you anymore.

John.B watched from the van as Rafe embraced you in a hug, smile on his face as he kissed your forehead.He had never seen Rafe look like that, the only smile he’d ever seen on Rafe Cameron was the kind that belonged to an angry sociopath.

But now he kind of just looked like a squishy, smiling gremlin.You and Rafe stood in the doorway for a moment, talking about how things had gone with John.B.Rafe had noticed the van sitll in the driveway, sending a quick and awkward brave towards your brother.A grin came across John.B’s face as he backed out of the driveway.Maybe you dating the Kook King wasnt as terrible as he thought.

@sexytholland​ @28cnn​  @popcrone818​ @fttayla​ @cherryobx​ @n1ghtsh4d3-67​ @drewstarkeyobx​ @poguestyleskye​ @judayyyw​ @jjtheangel​ @jj-iz-bae​

@sunwardsss @meaganjm​  @sarcasticsagittarius1998​ @natalie-kate-98​ @nxsmss​ @broken-jj​ @joshy-obx​ @prejudic3​ @outerbongs​  @copper-boom​  @httpstarkey​ @teenwaywardasgardian @drewswannabegirl​  @simonsbluee   @jiaraendgame  @khiaraaa-in-spacee​  @on-socks-off​  @abbiesthings​ @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless

[wkemeup]

Hi kas, i hate to ask but i need advice and when i browse your page your advice always seems so amazing! Sorry in advance if this is long, i noticed that your advice is usually much better when there are more explanations in the asks because you dont have to guess abt much. Also sorry if it seems not important but its eating away at me.

So, I'm an 18 turning 19 year old female with major attachment issues.

I spent a lot of this summer around my university campus and during the last 2-3 weeksof break, i noticed this boy i hadnt recognized was starting to be around a lot too.

Flash forward to when school starts, I've both befriended this man - let's call him Joe - and gotten his number. We've talked occasionally, not too much and we' ve called only twice. The first was to help Joe run lines for the drama club he's in and the second was supposed to be just to chat, one on one, but he ended up adding a few other people I've seen around school before that I suppose he's met.

Now the other night I was having a breakdown, and with my strong attatchment and trust in him (for no reason, might i add) I sent him something asking for advice. It wasn't a big deal or very dramatic, I'd simply asked Joe how to tell a friend that you're not as good as they think you are and how to keep a friend that moved somewhere that you can't visit. I also admitted worrying that he hated me, feeling that I'd messed up somehow.

He actually had some great advice for me and confirmed that he didn't hate me, but also putting in that our relationship will most likely end soon because we don't know each other very well, we won't be able to meet up often (his father is a professor and he was only visiting to see family), and he doesn't see a point in keeping up a relationship with someone he doesn't know all that well and won't really have to oppurtunity too.

I thanked Joe for the advice and then asked him if there is anyway i can change his mind about ending our relationship so soon, promising that I'll open up the more time we spend together and that calling is always an option I'm up for.

He said yes, but he wasn't sure because it's his first year of university and he might be busy. He then offered to chat the next day, since it's right before school starts and he'll have time.

So we scheduled a call and I was happy. Except today when I called and texted him to ask if he was ready or needed to reschedule, he ignored me. When I checked back a little while later, I see that he read my messages around an hour after I sent them, but no reply.

Now I'm tempted to ask him if he's sure he's okay with continuing this relationship, because I'm scared he said yes only to spare my feelings. But then why would he have offered to call the next day if he didn't really want to be friends any more? And his reply seemed so genuine, with that enthusiasm and happiness that was so Joe.

I'm at a loss of what to do and my therapist is busy for the next few weeks. Should I send it? Just ignore him until he does anything to reach out? Or give up hope altogether?

As for why he agreed to still be friends and talk the next day, but ignored you... we can't read minds so we can't know for sure exactly what is going through his head. I will say that you're both young and it's possible he just doesn't have the maturity or communication skills to be able to say that he's not interested in moving forward. He could also have been busy? But the fact that he clearly read the messages and chose not to respond, could also mean that he's ghosting you. Which is a shitty thing to do, but it happens to the best of us. It says more about him than it does about you.

I'm sorry this happened, because it's obviously upsetting for you. But as you said, you have an attachment and trust in him ("for no reason"), so maybe this isn't about Joe himself at all. And rather, just about validation and friendship at baseline. We can't control how other people react or what they do or say. We can only control our own reactions.

He knows where you stand on this. That you want to remain friends/continue the relationship. The ball is in his court and whether he chooses to reach back out or not is on him. Again - it's not a reflection of you. Sometimes people come and go from our lives and there's no fault or blame.

Try using soothing self talk, breathing skills, or whatever skills you usually talk about with your therapist. Remind yourself that you can't control his behaviors or what he wants, and that you are a perfectly whole and valid person whether he reaches back out or not.

Hope that helps!

[my-robot-heart]

Okay, so I've been thinking about the 6A – aka Red is in prison and nearly gets executed – for reasons unknown even to myself lately, and then that prompt list you've reblogged caught my eye, so here goes the prompt:

After he's saved from being executed in the last minute and released from prison, Red feels a little overwhelmed because of the enormity and finality of what nearly happened, because of how he was ready to die but then he didn't and he really should be happy about it and he is but he's also not and all of these realizations and confusing emotions are almost too much for him to handle. So Red does what he always does when he's experiencing emotional distress – he shuts everyone out and spends his time trying – and, truth to be told, failing – to drink his shock away.

Liz, actually being a good psychologist they called her in the early seasons, understands what’s going on with Red and feels both guilt and a strong urge to help him – though she's not sure how – so, when he goes radio silent, the mix of said guilt, worry and a feeling she named only once – when Red was about to die – and has been scared to address ever since pushes her to seek him out – with Dembe's help, of course, who understands that his friend won't be able to go through the emotional storm he's experiencing alone and come out whole and well and as good as new on the other side but also knows that if anyone can help him now, it's Liz, despite it being her fault that Red ended up in this state in the first place – and that's where the prompt "you don’t have to go through this by yourself." comes into play.

I saved this ask for last because I wanted to think about it a bit and let it marinate if you will, Anon 💛

So the Red goes radio silent and drinks his shock away part is actually a really similar vibe to this prompt that I answered, and in case you haven't read it you might enjoy it. In that case though I didn't bring the events of season 6A into it for... reasons lol. But now that I've read your version of events I see where you're going with this and I like it.

So let's see where this one takes us-

"I love you- that's... what I wanted to tell you."

Reddington sat, alone in his apartment, holding- it must have been his fifth? sixth? drink. Elizabeth had said that. She'd said those words to him. And then- well, and then he'd found out that it was her who had gotten him arrested and put in jail in the first place. And on death row. And strapped to the table, moments away from lethal injection.

When he had found that out, he had been... shocked. Because, though he had suspected exactly that, he had also simultaneously wished so hard that it weren't true. He had wanted to believe Dembe so badly when his friend had told him it hadn't been her. That it had been someone else.

She had told him she loved him, and so he had desperately wanted to believe that it was true.

And then, when she had told him everything, about her involvement, about Jennifer- he had, at first, not allowed himself to get upset. He had blocked all of that out, and held on to that single thread of hope: that she had loved him.

But slowly, everything that had happened over the past several months had eaten away at him, had created a hole inside of him that he hadn't had the energy to fight. He had allowed the hole to consume him, because wasn't that easier than the alternative? Hours at home by himself turned into days. He hadnt accepted a phone call in weeks. His whiskey collection was running low. And he- he was not succeeding.

Try as he might to block out his pain, his confusion over what had happened, he found himself reliving those pivotal moments, over and over, in his mind- until he wasn't certain whether he was remembering, or reinventing, what had happened.

Surely she had said she loved him. That had happened... hadn't it?

He took a considering sip of his drink, allowing the warmth to temporarily distract him from the emptiness inside.

When Dembe came into the room he barely even looked up to greet his friend.

"Raymond." Dembe's voice was kind, but firm. It had been too long since he'd spoken to someone.

Red met his gaze, wondering if Dembe might be able to confirm if that had actually happened. If Lizzie had said she loved him.

"Raymond. I am worried about you. You won't speak to me. You need to speak to... someone. I- have asked Elizabeth to come over. She is here now."

And Dembe stepped out of the way, to reveal that Lizzie was standing there behind him. At first, Red thought he must have been dreaming. But the ache inside his chest told him otherwise. In dreams, the ache was still there, but it wasn't like this.

"Hi Red."

He took a breath. Dembe looked at Lizzie for confirmation, and she nodded. He left the room, and then it was just the two of them. Red and Lizzie. As it had been so many many times before.

She was standing in the doorway, not moving. He hadn't responded, he realized, because sometimes in dreams she was able to simply hear his thoughts.

But he wasn't dreaming, he reminded himself. He had to say something.

"Elizabeth," he said, and he marveled at the way his voice sounded, not having spoken for some time.

"Can I sit down?" She asked, and he nodded. She hesitated before taking a seat beside him. He hadn't expected that, and he took another quick drink to fortify himself.

She watched him do this, and then when he had replaced the now empty glass on the table, she let her hand gently rest atop his leg. The gesture was familiar, but he hadn't realized how much he'd missed it. The two of them stared wordlessly at her hand for a moment.

"You haven't answered my calls," she said then, not accusingly, just matter-of-factly. "Or my texts."

He didn't quite remember when he'd stopped checking his phone, but he knew there had been at least twenty calls, and that was a couple of days ago. How many more times had she tried? He wondered.

"I'm sorry," he said, eyes still on her hand.

"I've been worried about you," she said. "We all have. Dembe asked me to come over, Red, but I tried- I came over before, too. He wasn't here and... you didn't answer the door."

Red vaguely remembered that- but, hadn't that been a dream? It was all so confusing.

He sighed, and Lizzie's hand squeezed his leg gently.

"You don't have to go through this by yourself," she said. "You have... friends who love you, you know."

"Dembe," he said, guessing that that was who she had meant.

"Yes, Dembe,” she said, hesitating, "... And, and others. Me, for example."

He looked at her then, meeting her eyes with a questioning gaze.

"You?"

She nodded quickly, looking slightly pained. She knew what her role had been in all of this, and was still feeling the guilt that went along with that.

"Do you?" He continued, curiously, "Love me, I mean? I can't remember if that was... if you actually..." he trailed off helplessly. Maybe this was a dream. He certainly wouldn't have asked her that point blank in real life now, would he?

"Oh, Red," she said, equally helplessly. He heard her as if from a distance. "Of course I love you. I told you that once before, remember?"

He considered this. He did think he remembered. It was just- so hard to understand why...

"I... was prepared to die," he said, suddenly. "It all meant nothing if you- if you..."

Peripherally he was aware that her hand had moved from his leg and was coming up to gently cup the side of his face. He closed his eyes. Definitely a dream, then.

With eyes closed, he felt her breath on his cheek, so soft. A wonderful dream. He would be happy to stay in this dream, he thought.

Dream Lizzie then let her lips find his- gently, gently. His breath escaped with a sigh. His eyes remained closed.

Tenderly she continued to trace a path with her lips along his jawline.

"I'm here," she whispered, reading his thoughts again, just as she'd done in his dreams before. "This is real. I love you."

After a long moment, he opened his eyes. His gaze was met with hers, then, and oh- maybe it was real. He had never quite managed to conjure up an image that was this... magical. Even in the sweetest of dreams.

She looked at him, eyes full of the love she hadn't been able to express, and he saw her. Placing a kiss on her forehead, on her temple, he tried to make sure she understood. "I love you too, Lizzie. I always have."

[neverdoingmuch]

I’m here for the ‘swords not as pets’ agenda. Swords as cars: solid, get you from place to place, potentially dangerous, customizable, something people name. Wwx losing his license taking the fall for a mistake jc made (idk, dui maybe?) and just choosing to mod the hell out of a self-balancing scooter or segway or something so it goes dangerously fast. Alternatively: spending 3 months inventing the first functional actual levitating hoverboard, with an insane top speed. 3 months in the (1/2)

sawdfert this is delightful!! i saw segway and i immediately started wheezing,, there was no time for laughing i went straight to the wheezing. i think it would make more sense if wwx lost his car and got a motorcycle? like hoverboards and segways are cool but motorcycles have that big reputation of being dangerous and there’s the whole ‘rebellious teen gets a motorcycle and becomes a delinquent’ thing? like motorcycles are fast and if you crash it’s so much worse than if you were in a car and there’s no airbags or anything. but also?? wwx rocking up to school on a segway while playing his flute like the shittiest entrance ever? iconic. but let’s stick with chenqing as a motorcycle/scooter (motorcycle-esque scooter not the ones that try and take out your ankles).

okay so all the major sects are super rich so in a modern au it would make sense for all the sect heirs to get cars. i’m not saying that jc and wwx complain about jzx being stuck-up bc he was given a porsche for his birthday even though they were also given cars for their birthdays,,, but i am. at first it would have been this major point of contention between yzy and jfm bc wwx isn’t even their son so why is he getting a car too but wwx is like ah it’s so i can drive jc and jyl to school! you wouldn’t want their cars being left outside the school all day would you? someone in my maths class had their car get keyed and it was super expensive to fix,, and yzy is like yes wwx may have a car only to protect my children from parking hassles,, also wwx must pay for his own parking. so wwx and jc both get given cars for their bdays.

now wwx gets bored easily,, so you could translate him being a cultivation genius to him being really good at driving. im talking that jc is still getting the hang of switching gears and wwx is out there casually drifting around corners. (this does mean he has to get new tyres really frequently but he’s friends with wen ning, whose family runs the mechanics that wwx likes to go to so he just helps around the shop for a bit and gets a discount (yes its the family discount)). anyway wwx really enjoys driving, also! he just rocks up to wen ning’s place one day and is like dude, i wanna pimp my ride, wanna help and wen ning is like heck yeah. so wwx pays for some upgrades with his own money and he spends hours doing some custom work to make it look cool,,

it’s all going well until wwx and jc go to wen chao’s party one night and jc gets absolutely sloshed,,, like completely hammered. wwx had walked in, grabbed a cup of lemonade or something and was gonna hang with his friends but lwj was there for some reason so he spent the entire night talking to him in the back garden. which means that when jc wanted to leave he saw wwx hanging out with lwj and went ew gross and just decided to drive home himself. he crashes and when wwx comes home the next day jc gets super pissed at him bc he was meant to be the designated driver and if he hadnt been screwing around with lwj jc wouldnt have tried to drive home and now his parents will be super pissed and wwx is like woah chill my grandmother is a mechanic and she can fix this up just give me a couple of days. 

so wwx goes to baoshan sanren mechanics (which is just the back entrance to the wen sibling’s mechanics) and spends the next three days getting rid of all of his customisations and mods so his car looks exactly like jc’s. does he cry when he has to spend like five mins spraying the inside of the car with axe body spray to get the jc stench going on? maybe a little. but he does it and returns the car to jc! and jc is like oh wow my car is fixed, your grandma is a miracle worker and wwx is like haha yeah (:

anyway wwx mysteriously and suddenly discovers a passion for public transport,, it’s a good way to stay humble jiang cheng, he says, also i used all my petrol money buying porn from nhs or whatever. anyway wwx is doing the whole pt to school thing but then one afternoon wen chao and wzh find him and idk maybe the party got too rowdy so the cops came and wc got in trouble with his dad? he assumes wwx called the cops on him so he shoves wwx into his car and drives him out to the middle of no where and dumps him in the burial mounds scrap metal recycling place or whatever. 

the train line isn’t running that day and there’s no phone service either so wwx is stuck there overnight. he gets super bored. so what does he do? he finds an abandoned scooter and starts scavenging for parts. he’s not expecting it to actually work but by the time the sun rises he’s found some actually decent parts and he thinks that he could get it working. tbh he kinda forgets to go back home and just walks into town to buy some food and then goes back and continues fiddling with the scooter. he doesnt live there for the three months but the people in yiling just accept that this random teenager has all but moved into their scrap heap and adopt him anyway. so he goes and visits the burial mounds every day after school so none of his friends or family really see him anymore. 

until! one day he rocks up to school on his scooter. scooters,, are kinda like sad pathetic motorcycles,, but wwx mods his scooter with like a powerful engine and new steering and everything so people see it and go oh! a motorcycle! even though it’s not actually (can you do that with a scooter? idk but suspend your disbelief pls). so lwj is like hnnngg wwx in a leather jacket on a motorcycle but also wei ying, stop riding a motorcycle, *enter statistics about motorcycle crashes here* and wwx is like no! you cant take chenqing away from me. and jc is pissed bc they were meant to be brothers and have matching cars and be able to work on them and give them cool paint jobs together! but now wwx has this bike which has been modded to hell and back and refuses to drive his car bc it’s not as cool as his bike. so we get to have the whole ‘everyone thinks wwx is doing something dumb and dangerous’ bc he has a motorcycle and why isnt he just driving his car anymore? but we also get to keep some of the nuance of the demonic cultivation bc yeah it’s more dangerous than driving in a car but wwx doesnt have a car anymore and scooters are a loottt safer than motorcycles (if my two seconds of research is correct).

so! wwx won’t abandon chenqing and he did most of his work using scrap parts so he goes back to the wens and is like wen ning my best bro check her out and he’s like oooooooh and they start modding chenqing together. wen qing doesnt know why wwx is constantly over at their shop all the time but jc keeps arguing with wwx and wwx grows more distant with his family and friends bc he’s making ~bad decisions~ and a motorcycle is a gateway to idk teen delinquent shenanigans like smoking and doing graffiti so he’s kinda ousted from respectable rich people society and wen qing is like i have two (2) brothers now and they’re adorable not that i’ll ever tell them that. and wwx modding chenqing got him a reputation in yiling like everyone saw him walk in one day and then drive out with this sexy sexy bike so people start coming to him for mods and stuff and wwx earns the title yiling patriarch and wen ning, his trusted best friend and helper, gets called the ghost general bc idk he helps a lot but the customers never meet him. so they become some dynamic duo for car and bike mods!

anyway,, yzy delivers him an ultimatum one day: the car or the bike (or more accurately: the family or the bike) but wwx can’t drive the car anymore so he just gets quietly disowned and drops out of school. (we’ll save jzxuan the suffering in this au he can keep his car). he goes to the wens and theyre like hey whats up? wait no you cant live in a scrap heap,, not even if you buy a tent,,, just live with us please. and then wwx gets adopted by the wens and idk i want them to have a happy ending so wwx and wn go off and do some actual mechanic and modding training with some expert (sqdcfgt imagine if it was the real baoshan sanren who just happened to be in the market for some apprentices and saw wwx and wn’s work and was like them and then later realised it was her grandson). so they get their apprenticeship and they disappear off somewhere for a year or two - when wwx had been disowned he’d deleted everyone’s contacts and was like if they text me i’ll add them back but im not gonna have a contact list cemetery. (no one contacts him). 

eventually the 13 years pass and wwx has been helping the wens raise their little nephew a-yuan who is showing a real aptitude for being a mechanic even though he’s just a kid and just generally enjoying the quiet life of being a mechanic while doing fun mods and lil baby projects. then one day lwj’s car breaks down while he’s driving through the area and he calls up the local mechanic and guess who rocks up? it’s wwx. and then we get to have them dance around each other and wwx being like lwj doesnt trust me, he’s just sitting here and watching me work all day ): and lwj is like dont let him go dont let him go dont let him go,, and eventually they get their romance but this is way too long already so im im gonna end this here

i didnt mean to make this an entire au but i adored your idea so much anon so i kinda had to!!

[world-of-aus]

I’ll be there for you - Part 2

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 4,780

Warnings: mentions of abortion (extremely brief), a pinch of angst, a pinch of fluff

Author’s Note: Second chapter, there will be one final one after this, its currently being written and edited, so i hope to have it out soon! I hope you all enjoy part two and part one will be linked below if you have not caught up yet! 

SERIES MASTERLIST

Bucky grinned at you no longer hesitant In grabbing a hold of your outstretched hand, the two of you walking towards the waiting nurse

“Good morning, follow me this way!” She chirped happily.

Much like at the clinic it went the same, after taking your vitals she turned to you, “I’ll need you to undress from your bottom half, and put this over yourself, the doctor will be in shortly.”

You stared after her eyes wide as you took in what she had requested of you. “Uh,” you began turning your head slightly towards Bucky. He was grinning at you deviously, a twinkle in his eye, “it’s not like I haven’t seen it before.”

Your mouth fell open at his statement, “you haven’t seen it before.” You hissed.

He held his hands up in mock surrender, “alright alright grouchy, you could have just told me you wanted me to see it.” He teased throwing you a wink.

You gasped reaching out to smack his arm slightly earning you a chuckle, “James Buchanan Barnes, you cut that out right now,” you grunted, “turn around I don’t need you seeing my lady bits, not like this.” You murmured without thinking.

He smirked up at you, “oh, so you would like me to see eventually?” he questioned in a teasing tone.

“I - I- would you shut up and turn around so I can undress!” you hissed your cheeks flaring in embarrassment.

He let out a low chuckle but stood anyway turning his back to you. You made quick working of kicking off your shoes pulling down your jeans and panties covering yourself with the paper like fabric over your bottom half. You got back onto the exam table making sure you were fully covered before giving Bucky the okay to turn around. He was turning to face you just as the doctor was knocking at the door, her head peering in, she smiled at the two of your brightly, “Good morning you two, hello y/n,” she greeted, “how are you feeling?" she questioned.

“Honestly, a little exposed,” you murmured, which earned a laugh from her and Bucky.

“Well we wouldn’t want that,” she joked back, “Well lets go ahead and check on the baby, since your last period was april 10, you should be around 9 weeks but after this sonogram we’ll able to tell you how far along you actually are, as well as your due date” she stated.

You nodded your head as she moved around the room gathering the things she needed as well as moving a monitor closer to your bedside table, “Uh dad,” she said looking at Bucky, “you can move by the mom’s bedside, so you can have a better look at the baby, and not so much of well you know.”

You were absolutely mortified, not because the doctor had called Bucky the dad but because she was referring to your lady bits!

Bucky let out a low chuckle as he moved around to your side his chair scraping against the tile.

“Alright y/n since you’re still too early to detect with our regular sonogram wand, we’re going to do it through our transvaginal ultrasound wand, you may feel some pressure but I promise that’s totally normal,” the doctor walked you through the entire thing, showing you the wand she was planning to use.

“Alright you two, you ready to see baby?” she questioned cheerfully. You and Bucky both reached for each other, your hand gripping his tightly in yours, you chewed on your lower lip as she began to insert the wand.

The screen went from a black grey screen to exactly the same image, but now there was a bean shaped sack with a - “is that a tadpole?” Bucky spoke up.

The doctor laughed, “No, sorry to disappoint dad, but that there is your baby your looking at,” your eyes began to glisten as you looked over at the screen, “Alright let’s see if we can hear a heartbeat,” she murmured as she toggled around with the computer. You watched as she enhanced the screen, suddenly a soft rapid whooshing filled the room. The first tear fell from your eyes, “Is that – is that really their heartbeat?” you sniffled looking at the screen through blurred eyes.

The doctor looked over to you giving you a warm smile as she passed you a tissue, “Sure is momma, and from the looks of it you are about 9 weeks like predicted, so your due date will be January 20, granted everything goes well in the course of the next months, and nothing changes.”

The doctor resumed to a regular screen, printing a screen image for you of your first ultrasound, you grabbed it from her hand looking over the image, “Here’s one for dad to,” she said handing you another image. You went to go correct her but Bucky was cutting you off as he rushed out a quick “thanks” snatching the picture from your hands.

After you had finished with your sonogram you and the doctor talked back and fourth about any concerns you had, you even occasionally found yourself wanting to turn to Bucky to ask if he had any questions, but then the cold reality of this not being his child and the reality of your actual situation would hit you and you would have to bite your tongue.

“Well if you have no further questions ill go ahead and let you get changed, and once your finished up in here you can get dressed and make your way to the front to schedule your next appointment.” She smiled.

You and Bucky both thanked her watching as she exited the room, he handed you over you clothes turning away from you so that you could change, you could feel a shift in energy between the two of you, but you weren’t sure what could have caused it.

After setting up your next appointment you and Bucky exited the office he was busy typing away on his phone with one hand the sonogram gripped tightly in his other.

You stood by his side patiently waiting for him to finish up so that you could thank him for being here at the appointment with you and maybe throw in an apology for the doctors continuous slip up of calling him dad which you never corrected.

After a minute he was pocketing his phone glancing up at you the tiniest hint of a smile on his lips, “so you want to get breakfast?” He questioned throwing you for a loop.

You gaped at him, “Buck you’re supposed to head back to the tower after this.”

He grinned, “texted the team I wouldn’t be returning after all, have some more important things to be tending to.” He winked

You rolled your eyes slightly at the wink, a grin forming on your lips, “Bucky,” you sighed, “you need to stop coping out of important things with the team for me, they’re going to get suspicious.”

He swung his arm around you pulling you in closer, “they’re already suspicious, but they’re not going to suspect a thing, don’t worry doll.” He assured.

You went to question his “they’re already suspicious” statement but he was already whisking you away to the parking lot not giving you time for an argument.

Your pregnancy was passing you by in a nauseatingly grumpy haze, you were three months in and already tired. Your coworkers had been constantly questioning your crabbiness, but you had always been able to pass it off as stress from a new assignment, or just stress of life in general and they were quick to except your answer as you were still not showing yet. Bucky had been an absolute angel through your morning sickness and well the whole newness that came with being pregnant, it seemed he was always there to lend you a helping hand when necessary, truly the man would never back down, not even when you were snapping at him, oh no, that only caused him to dote on you harder, leaving you to moan and groan under your breath.

Canceling plans had become part of Bucky’s routine and just like he had promised those 3 months ago that the team would not become suspicious of him always bailing they indeed had. It had been another of those nights where he had bailed on the team again. They had been trying to get Bucky out and on a date for the past month, but Bucky was insistent that he wasn’t interested, well that hadnt worked out the least in his favor. You and Bucky had been relaxing on the couch watching a series on Netflix, when a persistent pounding sounded at your door. Bucky glanced over at you, then back over to the door, “were you expecting someone?” he questioned. You shook your head, Bucky sighed as he pushed himself off the couch making his way to the door. He was barely unlocking the door before it was swinging open, Sam barging in, Steve and Natasha trailing behind him.

“alright tinman, enough is enough, you’ve been bailing on us for too long now, you’re going out with us whether you want to or not!” Sam stated as he entered your home.

“Yeah Barnes, I’m sorry to say, but I agree with Sam on this one,” Natasha spoke up from the trio.

Bucky turned to Steve baffled, “Sorry bud, but I'm going to also have to agree on this one, we barely see you,” he said, “no offense to you y/n” he added acknowledging your presence on the couch.

“So go get changed and meet us out here, were going out and your coming with us, we’re going to get you a girl.” Sam announced, the words made your heart into the depths of your stomach.

“Sam come on man, me and y/n are watching a show, I can’t just bail on her.” Bucky spoke up.

“Look man of course you can, I’m sure y/n wouldn’t mind, you’re probably driving her crazy forcing her to spend this much time with you.” Steve added, “isn’t that right y/n?” he questioned looking at you.

You tried your hardest not to look like a deer in headlights, “Uh,” your eyes bounced around the room, “Uh, yeah no, that’s fine, he can go out with you,” you murmured, not bearing to meet anybody’s eyes without giving away your emotions.

“See!” Sam exclaimed swinging his arm out in your direction, “she said it’s cool, besides that’s why Nat tagged along, she’s going to keep your girl company, while we’re out.”

“Wouldn’t say I'm his girl, if the reason you’re taking him out is to find him a girl,” you muttered with an eye roll.

No more words were shared between the four of you as Sam and Steve pushed Bucky to his room, Natasha making her way over to you. Joining you on the couch a comfortable silence washed over the two of you for a short second before she was turning in her seat towards you. At first she didn’t say anything just watching you, her hands wandering your form, you swallowed feeling tense at her gaze.

“Your almost 4 months aren’t you, why aren’t you showing yet?” she questioned.

Your head snapped in her direction eyes going wide, “Excuse me?” you choked out. How did she know, nobody knew, how the hell did she find out?

“Come now y/n I'm actually hurt you think I wouldn’t find out.” she grinned her eyes burning into yours.

“How did you – how did you find out?” you murmured voice dropping to a whisper.

“Barnes may be able to resist the other two, but twist his arm a little and he squirms.” She shrugs.

Your mouth dropped open Natasha taking notice, “don’t worry he didn’t tell me much,” she tried to reassure, “but he had been so distant from the group, and so,” she tapped her finger to her chin as if in thought, “so happy, the other two were oblivious to it but he was practically glowing, it was just unlike the Bucky I had seen.”

You were unsure how to react much less what to say, you weren’t expecting this to happen, much less explain the situation. Had Bucky explained the entire situation, did he explain the agreement he had offered?

“You don’t have to tell me what happened, Barnes said it was an emotional subject,” she sighed, “ I’m sorry I spilled it like this on you, but I almost thought Barnes was bluffing about it, I’m sorry.” She whispered her hand coming to grip yours.

You gripped hers in yours, “it’s okay, I was expecting this to happen even if he had told me otherwise,” you said softly, “ I was also planning on eventually telling everyone as there’s only so much I can do/wear to hide the ever growing bump.” You whispered a small smile gracing your lips as you removed your hands from hers to smooth out your shirt over the small rounded bump.

Natashas eyes widened slightly glossy, “oh my god,” she whispered her hands coming out to lay over it, “that is the most precious thing I have ever seen.” She whispered glancing back at you.

You and Natasha heard the boys footsteps returning, their bellowing laughter filling the hall. Natasha pulled her hand away, you pulled at your shirt just as the boys came in.

“Everything alright?” Bucky questioned looking between you and Natasha suspiciously.

You nodded your head stiffly, “everything’s fine, you all should get out of here.” Natasha spoke up.

“Don’t have to tell us twice,” Sam cheered gripping Bucky’s shoulders tightly as he led him out of the house not letting Bucky give you or Natasha a second glance.

With the boys out of the house you and Natasha took some time to talk about your situation. You explained everything to her, from your drunken night, to finding out you were pregnant, to how Bucky had promised to be there for you through this, she even grilled you enough to the point that she had you spilling your feelings for the man.

“ты должен сказать ему, дорогаяq” she replied her hand falling on your shoulder.

“I don’t know Nat, just because he’s opting to be there for me doesn’t mean he’ll hold true to his word, and it definitely doesn’t mean he has feelings, he’s my best friend that’s all this is.”

She raised a brow at you shaking her head slightly, “типичный,” she sighed, “trust me y/n he’s not doing these for any of the reason’s you’re thinking, he really does care for you, and its definitely in more than a friendly way.”

You wanted to argue with the redhead but you knew it would’nt get you anywhere, much like Bucky she was strong willed and hardheaded and once set on something there was no changing her mind.

The two of you continued to enjoy your night, the hours ticking by as you and natasha watched films and talked about your plans for your pregnancy.

“You’re looking pretty tired y/n, i think i should head out and let you get some rest,” she murmured a small yawn passing by her lips. You looked at the clock on the stand next to you it was nearing 12 in the morning, and still no sign or word from the boys.

“Do you have a ride though?” you questioned, “ the boy’s arent even back yet, and i havent recieved any word from them.”

“Yeah i brought one of Tony’s cars with me, followed the boys here,” she said as she stood stretching out, “as for the boys,” she looked away as if contemplating the next words from her mouth.

“As for the boys?” you questioned

“Sam texted me to let you know not to wait up, they all found a lucky lady for the night.” she murmured.

Though your heart had cracked in two falling into the depths of your stomach, you would not let it show through on your face. Natasha had seen through you as she leaned towards you her hand falling softly to your shoulder, “I’m sorry y/n i had told Sam it wouldn’t be a good idea, but you know how Sam can be.”

You shook her concern off, “it’s fine Nat, it’s not like Bucky and i were a thing, he’s allowed to do whatever he pleases.” you weren’t sure who you were trying to convince more, yourself or her. Besides it was true, you had no right to feel any sort of way, you and Bucky weren’t a couple and the baby growing inside of you wasn’t his. Bucky was free to do his own thing, and you needed to remind yourself that no matter how bad you wished the circumstances were different. After seeing Natasha our and with wanting nothing else more than the comfort of your own bed you decided to call it a night.

You groaned, pushing the blankets off of you aggressively you sat up half asleep in bed stomach rumbling, mumbling profanities under your breath you let your feet touch the ground You glanced at the clock that said it was three fifteen in the morning another groan left your lips “Jesus Christ,” you muttered getting out of bed. You stomped over to the door pulling it open roughly, letting it swing against the wall, not caring that it made a thud that echoed throughout the eerily quiet house. You definitely didn’t care about the noise you were making, you were upset to have been forced awake by your hungered thoughts, that had your stomach growling this late like a creature of the night.

Opening the fridge you looked around before you reached in pulling out a carton of eggs. Setting them over by the stove you began going through his cabinets looking for a pan, once again not caring that you were slamming things around and being way too loud for three in the morning. Finally finding a pan you pulled at it only to realize it was caught on another pan, in a fit of frustration caused by your hunger you yanked at it causing more pans to fly from the cabinet as well. You groaned your head flying back, setting the pan you were going to use on the counter before bending down, which was getting harder as the days went on, you picked up all the other ones that littered the floor, shoving them back in the cabinet before slamming it shut, you knew the next time that cabinet was opened it would be raining pans.

You grabbed the closest bowl, grabbing a handful of eggs before you began to crack each one into your container.

“Y/n?” Bucky questioned, you jumped where you stood your hand coming up to rest on your wildly beating heart. You glanced up at him to see him shirtless wearing just a pair of pajama bottoms. His hair was a ruffled mess and he was rubbing his eye, staring at you. “What are you doing doll?”

You glared at him. “What does it look like I’m doing, I’m making eggs Einstein.” You said as you poured your battered liquid egg onto the waiting pan, reaching for a spoon so you could stir it.

“At three in the morning?” he questioned squinting at the clock on the microwave.

You shrugged “I was hungry, tried to fight it off as much as I could but I couldn’t.” You muttered.

“You couldn’t wait till morning, I was trying to get some sleep doll,” he said rubbing at his eyes, your face morphed into a glare.

“Oh, I’m sorry, was I making too much noise for you? Did my noise interrupt your sleeping?” You grumbled swirling your eggs around angrily.

He raised a brow at you, “what?” He questioned taken aback by your tone, “is something going on?” He questioned

“I’m pregnant Barnes!” You hissed shutting off the stove. “I can’t control when I’m hungry, much less control anything else going on in my life, and honestly you should be a little more understanding!”

He looked at you face blank, “anything else you’d like to complain about?

You knew it had come out as a rhetorical question but due to the events of the night, you decided to just go at it.

“Actually you know what, yes, I have a bone to pick with you,” you started pointing an accusatory fork at him, “next time you plan on staying out late I’d appreciate if y’all didn’t keep me in the dark about it, I deserve to know things too and not have to find out you’re going to be “hooking up” with someone from her, we’re roommates Barnes I need to be alerted if you’re bringing a girl from the bar home.” You grunted shoveling a forkful of eggs into your mouth

His eyes twinkled, “anything else doll?” He mocked drawling out the word doll.

“Yes,” you muttered, “ I’m up at three in the morning eating god damned eggs when I should be sleeping like a normal person,” you started, “I’m fat, my work clothes and regular clothes are shrinking by the day and does that stop me from eating these eggs?” You scowled shoveling more in your mouth, bucky looked at you to continue, “it doesn’t,” you answer, “I also spend half my work day in the restroom because I have to pee every ten minutes, and you want to know another thing, you are allowed to go out and do whatever or whoever you want because this isn’t your responsibility, we’re just best friends who are roommates and I shouldn’t care that you’re out picking up women but it does.” You huffed, “ I’m tired of being pregnant, my emotions are all over the place and I can’t even control them, what the heck am I going to do for the next five months?” You groaned looking down at your now empty plate.

Bucky chuckled softly, “feel better?” He questioned moving around the island to step closer to you, you glanced up at him through your lashes a warm hue covering your cheeks when you saw his naked torso.

“Just a little,” you admitted lamely. You sucked in a breath holding it and letting it fill your lungs before it was escaping quickly through your nose. You filled looked over to him, “ I’m sorry Buck, I’m just so goddamn frustrated, I’m so tired, I just want this bean out already,” You sighed.

He gave you a warm smile, “I figured as much, that’s why I let you continue.” A smirk graced his lips as he caught your eyes slipping across his chest, “anything I can do to help relieve your stress?” He questioned lips pulled into a teasing smirk.

Your cheeks turned red at his teasing, your eyes turning away from his as you bit down on your lip. It took you a second before your could look at him again, this isn’t the first time he had made a teasing statement like this, your friendship had been built on the teasing moments,  but this was the first time that his eyes trailed your body the way they were. His eyes trailed your body taking in his shirt your wore, the one that wasn’t quite long enough to fall mid thigh on you with your bump, you knew if you moved even slightly he would get a view of your ass clad in your lace panties.

You didn’t say anything as the two of you stood there, a cloud of tension had settled over you so thick you probably could have seared it with a knife. This had never happened before, this was new territory for the both of you, but then you thought back to your conversation with Natasha and how you should tell him how you felt. While you weren’t sure you could do that just yet, you decided that you couldn’t take it anymore. You were hormonal and to be blunt a little horny, okay very horny. You leaned back against the island hoisting yourself up to perch yourself on the cool granite. Your eyes watched for Bucky’s reaction, you needed to know you weren’t reading into this, you needed to know this wasn’t one sided. Bucky’s eyes followed your movements, his eyes darkening slightly as he drank in your form. He walked closer to you closing the gap, his eyes locked with yours. He stopped In front of you, his eyes dropping to trail your legs, the fabric of his shirt doing nothing to conceal you, his eyes trailed up till they were locking with yours once more.

You continued to test the waters, pushing the boundaries a little farther as you pushed your legs apart, your feet swinging up to wrap around his waist to pull him closer. You slid forward on the counter, his body meet yours closing the distance. His hands creeped up to your hips gripping them, your hands reached out, fingers dancing along the smoothness of his chest trailing up where they locked behind his neck pulling him down to you. You faces were inches apart his warm ragged breath fanning across your face. His tongue peeked out wetting his lips, your body shivered craving his touch.

“Bucky” you breathed out his names ghosting across his lips, beckoning him to close the distance.

A small smirk kissed the side of his lips, as he leaned down his lips connecting with yours. The moment your lips touched you swore it was like a swarm of butterflies had been released in your stomach. You could feel the passion, the want, and was that love?

His hands fell from your hips fingers tracing lines along the skin of your thighs driving you absolutely insane. You pulled away from his lips your head thrown back as breathy moan fell from your lips. Bucky’s lips trailed down your jaw making their way across your neck seeking out that spot just underneath your ear.

“Buck” you moaned.

He pulled back slightly his lust filled eyes looking up at you,

“I want you, I want you so bad.” You breathed out staring into his ocean blue eyes.

His eyes softened and you knew that in that moment he understood your words. You knew he understood that you wanted him more than just in this moment.

You wanted him.

“You have me sweetheart,” he whispered into your lips as he connected them once again. You smiled into the kiss, feeling him do the same and for a second the focus shifted.

You were no longer just kissing in a lustful rage but instead the moment had slowed as you savored the feeling of his body against your own. With each kiss placed on your lips it brought on a whole new feeling of want and you knew that this would change things between the two of you. You knew that after this night there would be no going back. You were giving yourself over to him and he was taking it, showing you just how much you meant to him.

He wanted you.

His hands traveled back up your legs, brushing past you hips and coming to a stop at the small of your back. He pushed you forward gently hoisting you up in his arms, lifting you off the counter. He carried you effortlessly to his bedroom, setting you down on his plush bed. He tugged at your shirt, pulling it up and over your head smirking when he noticed you weren’t wearing a bra. His lips found yours again, your fingers running along his chest as he hovered above you you came to a stop just above the waistband of his pants.

He pulled away from you, a whimper falling from your lips at the loss of contact. He hovered over you, his hands on either side of your head holding him above you.

His eyes softened, “I need you to know this changes everything for me doll, I want to be there for you in more ways than one.”

“I know Buck,” you smiled a single hand coming up to cup his cheek.

“I’m not going anywhere sweetheart, I want this with you, I want to be there for you, I want to do this with you.” He whispered as he leaned back down closing the distance between your lips once more. You pulled him closer to you, letting the feelings you had grown for him over the past months make themselves known as you gave yourself to him for the first time.

Part 3 FIN

Taglist: @minillamakeup-blog​

[iamtheempress]

Cold Blooded

A Dragon Ball Horror Fic {Part 10}

☆☆☆

 Carlie had soon returned to her bedroom and locked it tight. She pulled her cell phone from her purse and tried to call Bulma.

“PLease.. Please answer…” brrrrrr brrrrrr “Please im fucking begging you please… Please Bulma you always answer me….” Bulmas voice pipes up loud and clear and she almost sighs.. Until she finds out its her voicemail.. Fuck…

‘Vegeta..’

She thinks, starting to text Vegeta. She knew that the time chamber works differently inside then out and minutes are ground down to basically days.. It couldnt hurt to try. Her messages always reached him perfectly, Time Chamber or other regions of space for some reason…

“Babe. I need you to come home right now.”

“Im freaking out and i think you were right” 

“Somethings really fucked up with Frieza”

“Well...What else was new.”

“He like. Grabbed me with his tail and told me that hes going to protect me.”

“He knew about what happened the other day.”

“Everything!”

“He started telling me that id be better in his hands and i feel like i need to burn my fucking skin off”

“I know its different in the time chamber but please please come and help me…”

“Babe. I know your getting these there all going through…”

“Please. Vegeta. Get Goku to instant transmission to me or something!” 

Message not sent.

She felt a sense of absolute loneliness. 

A sinking feeling in her stomach Like shes on deathrow, minutes away from lethal injection. 

SHe felt an overwhelming urge to throw herself from the window of capsule corp. Only to escape. She knew something was wrong. She should have listened to Vegeta from the get go, the second she met Frieza amicably. “Im so stupid.. Stupid stupid stupid!” She smacked herself repeatedly in the forehead. “Im sorry Vegeta… Im so..-”

She was cut off by the tell tale sign of the power being shut down. The loud hum of the power turning off. Entrenching her in darkness.

 All of Capsule Corps lights and window shutters closed slowly. Sealing her away behind Glass and thick metal. No escape. No sense of safety. Alone. But not entirely.

Carlie got up and cracked open the door to her bedroom.  Peering down the hallway vacant and void of life. Only the sound of her panicked heart pounding in her ears. She made haste to the hallway to reach her lab. Theres an emergency exit there. Behind the INcinerator. She can make it. 

Her thoughts are halted. A bright red light blinks in the vacant corridor, followed by his voice over the intercoms. Like some cruel and ever present god.

“Oh my dear sweet beautiful Carlie… such a kind and gentle soul... a genius like you is once in a life time and id love to make you mine... You wouldnt happen to be running from me are you?” Her eyes snapped to a camera in that hallway aimed at her. A succulent look of dread dripping from her wide doe eyes. “you cannot run from me you little vixen.. you will be mine one way or another.." she sprinted down the hall eyes glimmering with tears. His malicious laughter playing over the intercoms. Loudly.

Just not even several minutes ago she thought of that laughter as charming. Maybe friendly. Now its nothing but sinister and cold.

She swears shes being followed. Frieza follows behind her slowly, the pads of her feet frantically hitting the floor.

 "Caaaarlie.. come now.. your only making this much more harder on yourself.. give in and come with me.. youll enjoy being an empress.. youll also enjoy seeing this your simian mate being crushed by my hand, ill make it quick to not sully those beautiful eyes." He muses as he held his hands firm behind his back, sauntering to the frightened woman. "I also do think youll like this form ive taken.."

She turned her head back while pulling the sliding door open with all her strength to see Frieza approaching her in a slow pace. Step. By step. By step. She realized his form was different he was bulkier and a different color by the light of the red flashing alert lights.. its almost a copperish sheen.. his eyes are more pronounced and staring her down.. she can see his bright red pupils from down the fucking hall and it was just as terrifying as his smile.. his sick, twisted smile.

"Running wont get you anywhere.. you will not be abused so horribly by my hand, you will live in the lap of luxury as my pet. My bride. My empress. Empress of the Universe sounds like it would fit you perfectly… What has your ape given you? Bruises.. broken bones. Heartache.. pain. Saiyans only bring pain and care only to fight someone stronger then themselves, Carlie, i should know... I have put an end to not only the doctor who defiled you but several others in your name.."

He froze in the hallway, eyes unblinking. Alpha predator in the wake of the most decadent prey he set his eyes upon. "Your vegeta cannot save you from me.. you will be MINE OHOHOHOHOOO!!!" He threw his head back cackling loudly, loud enough to where it burned into her eardrums and petrified her to her core.

She slammed the hatch behind her and pressed a button to seal the outside world out. Fuck. She needs to get out. Now.

She quickly rushed down the stairs and into the lab only to hear the hatch creak open as the gilded monster pried it open from its locked state.

Mangling metal loudly. 

She needs to think FAST to get anything done. To hopefully keep the emperor at bay. She pulls out her phone and sends Vegeta 2 more texts.

“Please….”

“Vegeta. Babe im so fucking scared….” 

Message sent.

Tears dripped on her phones screen and all the messages sent at once. Its only a matter of time.

Carlie doesnt have much of that left to spare.

Meanwhile in the Time Chamber~

5 months is the equivalent to what Vegeta and Goku have endured. The first bunch of messages Carlie sent were about 2 monthd before hand. He hadnt known. He never checked. He didnt think anything of it. 

Vegeta exits the shower room, fully dressed again and in base form. He was pried from his thoughts when he hears a ping.

Then another.

"Tsk.." he huffs.. 'Must be Carlie' though it is a day in the outside world. Vegeta had gone months without her. He hated how much he missed her. The comfort of mundane everyday conversations. 

He grabbed his phone.

Turned it on, and went ghost white. A cry for help.  

"KAKAROT." He shouted, leaving the room to run straight into Goku. 

"Vegeta?? Whats the problem??" "No time to ask get me to Carlie NOW" He demands grabbing Gokus shoulder, Gokus hand goes to his forehead and….

"KAKAROT now is not the time to joke around get me to-" Gokus face was blanched.

"I cant get a pulse of energy off her…"

☆☆☆

@dragonblobz @lilfriezatyrant @gallickingun @kamehamethot @gonuclear @memevember @msgreenverse @lizardhipsdontlie @thotful-writing @supremeleadershitlord 

[freshstartbaby]

Un

🎧 Body - Syd

I watched my house, cardbord on the ground, like me, leg crossed. White walls, a little smell of vinegar. Thats what I used to finally clean up everything.

Why do I feel like shit ? I mean one part of me cant wait to be in my new place. But the other ? I really feel like I kind of failed here. I got a job, two to be exact, I can provide for myself. I got few friends and thats it. I was wondering if my mum will ever know if I left the town. Maaaan I got to stop overthinking.

It was 8pm and I was waiting for Theo's call. Thanks to god he told me he will help me wih the moving. His help was so precious. Like always. My phone rang with « Theo 🤍 » on my screen . I picked up

« Sup mister T » I said softly « Hi Rob, you good ? » he answered « I am actually, and you ? » « Good. So you really goin to leave me, you know you can still change your mind » « No way, but you know you will still be in my mind » « And in your heart. Who do you think you are ? » he started to joke « Man where are you ? » I said rolling my eyes with a smile on face « There is a litlle bit of traffic. I be there in 10 minutes. But I think the man who will help us is already there. I fowarded him your number. Did he call ? »

I checked my phone, no missed call

« Nah he didn't » « Ok, get ready I be there soon » « Thank tou Theo » « Everything for you » he hang up

I shook my head slowley left to right. He was so kind to me. He can't be real. Me and Theo knew ourself since 8 years now. He was there to help and provide when no one could. He always was very protective and he is actually the one who gave me my first job: dancer in a club. It wasn't my goal job but I could dance and it will help me paying my bills. Few years later he also refered me in company to work as a personnal assistant. I managed myself to then become a communication assistant. When you look clother, without him, I probably will end up as a cracked or worse.

When we met I was 16 and he was 22. It was a very protective relationship. But the older we get, the akward it became. I mean physically he turned to a man as i turned to a young women. And even if he always shows me mad respect, the way he was watching and talking to me changed. Not in a bad way, but I could feel there was more. I aint gon lie, he is good looking, got money and got pure heart. But i couldnt wiling to lost him if we turned into a relationship. He was one of few people around me. Aint ready to loose one of them.

When I told him that I decided to move in LA, maaaan, he wasn't down for it. But as always, he helped me. He got fews relations so we find a cute flat quickly than I thought. The place was smooth and warm. We flew to LA to visit it, and i actually loved it. So now here I am waiting for a friend of his to move my stuff to LA. Let me get it straight. I aint no baby. I can take care of myself. But when it comes to Theo, he always wants to help. And I aint gonna lie, it feel good to be take care of.

The ring belled, I stood up to open the door. He looked at me, I looked at him.

« Can I help you ? » rising an eyebrow acting like I didn't know him « Stop playing » he said moving in my place « Hi » I said to the man following Theo « Robyn this is Eric, Eric this The New York leaver »

I rolled my eyes and shook my head slowly. Eric and Theo helped me to put my stuff in the truck. It was quickly made thanks to them. Also even if I hadnt much things I droped a lot. Eric told me that they will arrive the next monday in my new place. I thanked him as he left when I felt someone behind me. I turned around found Theo on his phone.

« First of all you didn't say hi »

I pulled him softly in a hug. His hands wrapped my shoulder as he kissed my cheek softly

« Then tell me where do I drop you ? » he said « Alex's place » « Lets go »

He put my suitcase in his trunck and we headed to Alexendra's place. I sold my car few weeks before so he proposed me to drop me where I needed yesterday.

Alexandra is one of my best friend. She's like a sister to be honest. We know each other for like forever and she always be down for me. Im stayin at her place tonight so I can catch my flight tommorow.

The road was silent but confortable. Theo and I like to be quiet sometines. We're the type of people who arent afraid of silence. As we arrived to Alexendra's place we stayed a little in the car.

« You need help with the suit case ? » « Na Im good, but thank you. Thank you for everything. It means a lot» I look at him « Stop saying this like its a goodbye » « Im not » « You better »

We pulled into a thight hug «You know I'm always be around and if you need to come back my door is open» « I hope it will be fine dont say that »

He look at me kiss my cheek and said

« Take care » « You too Theo »

I got off the car, took my suitcase and watched him leave. As we disapear on the corner I called Alex.

« Yes baby » « Im here, remind me your code » « You still dont remember it, you do it on purpose » « Guuuurl what is it ?» « 7110 » « Thank youuuuuu »

I taped the code and got to her place

« Sup baby » « Wassup baby, how you doin ?» « Good and you ? » « Everything is alright, I mean my best friend is leaving in an another town but Im good » « Guuuurl, it is for the better » « I know that, Im just getting emotional » « Dont do that » « Im trying, I swear ! How did you came ? You took a uber ? » « Nah, Theo droped me »

She set down on her large cozy couch eying me with a small smile

« What ? » I asked « Noooothing ! » she tapped the place next to her so I can take place « You just goin to sit down and tell me what's popin between you and this white daddy, finally» she said swith a smirk « Nothing is popin, I already told you that » i said sitting next to her « But you got to admit he is good lookin » « I never said he isnt » « Maybe a little bit skinny but he is still handsome » « He is. » « So he never try to own that » she said pointing at myself « And dont try to tell me no, I saw him plenty time trying to get you. » « Alex, it is not goin to hape- « «  Whyyyyyyyy » « Because I dont want to » I said laughin « GURL IS YOU GAY ?» « Oh my god. Alexendra. » «  No because if you are it is ok. But you need to tell me, so I can introduce him to friend of mine. Its such a waste » « Whatever » I said looking at her smiling

This girl is so crazy. Full of good vibe. Always pushing me to my best. She is fam yall. Our phones started buzzing at the same time. It was a whatsap phone call from our conversation « Mexico 🥵 ».

With some friends we decided to go on a trip to Mexico. For the big part, I knew them from school or club. As we grew older all of us took different ways but still got mad love for eachother. This week trip was the way to link up. I didnt knew some people like David, Florian and Veronica but everything went well during the organisation so I wasnt « afraid » that they were annoying.

The trip is next Monday so we schedule this video chat to make a last check. With all the stuff with my moving I almost forget about this call. Alex and I were together so I decided not to answer from my phone and step clother to her so we can both be on her screen

« Hi » « Wassup beauties » Alexander says

We all said hi to each other and waited to see if someone was missing.

« Who is missing » I asked « Flo is not here » Betty said « Damn this sleeping guy, let me text him » Alexander answered

As he decided to text him, a new window poped in our screen revealing a big white man shirtless, it seems like he was in his bed.

« My bad, sorry for my lateness, wassup guys » he said in a low voice

I looked at the screen, then at Alex, then the screen again and falled into the catch moving my hand to show to Alex that this man was foooine

We giggle few seconds before getting back to our serious faces.

« Florian that is it ? » Alex asked « Yup » « Time is money you owe us all a drink when we get to the mexico » « Maaaan dont play me like that, I was taking a nap, gym killed me today» he said

Of course he was goin to the gym, look at this chest. I tried to fix my self when we all talked for like an hour about last informations, who will arrive when, who shares room, what type of activites we wanted to do. I cant wait for this trip to be honest. I dont travel that much. I could release the stress from my moving, my new job and the new town I will be living in.

« Rob you still in New York ?» Michael asked « Yeees, my fligt is tomorrow » « Where you goin ? » Betty asked « Moving to LA » I said softly « LA GANG MY MAN ! » Florian shouted « Thats great, really big move » Alexander said « Finger crossed » Veronica « Dont worry, as wherever it will be ok if you work hard enough » Florian said « Oh dont worry she is a hard worker » Alex said miming a blow job

I snaped her head as everyone shared an hard laugh. Few minutes later we hang up. I went to the bathroom, washed myself, my tooth and changed myself in something more confortable. I went back to the living room and find Alexandra on the phone. By the way she was smiling and laughing I could tell it was Alexander. Yeah. This gurl find a boyfriend with the same name. That's kind of cute but it's also so corny. She hanged up, stood uo and went to the kitchen

« Sooooo » « What do you want again ? » i said a smirk in my face « I was wondering » she looked at me with a vicious smile « What is it Alex ? » « Are you down for some dick in Mexico » « You are something else you know that » « Im just asking ! There will be latino guys, foreigner and gurl this man Florian, he is free like the wind » «How do you know that ? » « I asked Alexander » « Mmmmh » « Mmmmh ? Gurl when is the lastime you had a man making you feel right ? I aint talking about relationship because that is another level and I know you trying to put yourself first since...» « Yea no. I'm not ready but let me think » « The fact that you have to think is not ok, you know that if the sexual frustration is not evacueted it can damaged you » « I got toys dont worry » I said putting my finger in a peace sign while im leaving the kitchen

I went to her guest bedroom, sitted on the bed and put my durag on. After sliding under the sheets I did my breath exercise so I could fall asleep faster but I couldn't. It was these exercises or sleeping pills. But I try to use them less and less since few month. They knocked me hard to hard man. After 30 minutes of try, I took my phone and opened Instagram. I scrolled my screen without being focused at all, laugh at fews memes and double tap some post. I tought about what Alex told me. It's true. It been a while since I havent give a man his chance. It didn't went well the last time. Ok here we go overthinking. I shook my hand thinking of how dumb I was when I tought about Florian. He was fine its true but you know men are trash. At least men I have a crush on 😭. I tapped « florian » in the research bar to see if I could find him. I didn't. Im defenatly not a FBI member. I will ask to Alex tomorrow, or not, it's not a good idea.

——-

I was hugging Alexandra thighly at the airport. The voice called the passagers of my flight to get ready.

« I'm goin to miss you crazy ass » I whispered « I'm goin to miss you more Robyn, but stop being weak before I start crying » « Come on aint nobody goin to cry » I push her shoulder « we're tough girls remember ? » « Yea but I wrote you a letter » she gave me a letter as I look at her ready to make fun of her « You wrote me a letter, you must be in love with me » « Of course I am, yo you're my friend soulmate » « Ok you gon make me cry now » « Go get your flight »

I tried to open the letter when she took my hand

« The fuck is you doin, you have to read it in your flight, or when you arrive to your new place but not now » « Okaaaaaaay mrs emotional »

I kissed her cheek and grabed my suit case before leaving

« See you in Tulum baby ! »

I put a peace sign above my head a went take my flight.

As I settled in my seat, I leaned my head back to the couch. Here we go baby. You can do this. You got this. It's goin to be fine. I was motivated myself when my phone buzzed. I watched my phone screen and see that Theo sent me a vocal. I put my AirPods on tap on my screen to listen his whatsap vocal message.

James. Theo James. : « You're in the plane ? »

I send him a quick answer

Robyn ✨: Yup 🛫

James. Theo James. : Ok

I watched the screen as I saw « James. Theo James is writing » when a big as message droped. Oh my god. He is goin to make me cry. Or worse. I rubbed my forehead before start reading.

James. Theo James. :

« Robyn. My baby. I know your flight is getting ready to take off. So I'm writing this to you so you can be ready for this new page.

Im goin to tell you this, and ear me out when I say: You got this.

You're smart, kind, open minded,fierce, talented, reliable, honest and a fighter. I know life ain't did good to you lately, and it's destroying me to see you leave but baby it's a fresh start. Leave all the madness, the pain and the self doubt where you at because LA is goin to be fire baby. No more drama, no more pathetic boyfriend, no more struggling. Put yourself above everything, because you deserve it. Keep your mental healthy. Communicate more, talk free and never be afraid to make people to ear your voice.

As I always say to you, even if the blood don't link us, you mean the world to me. Whenever you need anything blow my phone. I will always have an eye on you even if I know you are and you are becoming a boss a bitch woman every single day.

I know you are goin to kill it.

Text me when you arrive to your new home

I will come visit you in few months

Theo 🤍 »

I closed my eyes, bitted my lips and hold my phone on my chest. Don't cry, don't cr- too late. Tears were all over my face as I try to mute myself. Even I tried to hide it, I was feeling shitty. And those words just gave me the feeling of being discovered. I don't know how it was possible. Even if Theo and I were closed I have difficulties to talk out when I'm not feeling myself. And with this message I knew that all this time he knew how I felt but give me my space.

LA be good to me please.

—-

🎧 1 pound - Brymo

The sunlight woke me this morning. I really need to buy curtains. I mean in the rest of the place it's not that important, but wake this way is so uncomfortable. I like the darkness in my bedroom you know ? And all this light, god chill out 🤣

I stood up and head ou to the bathroom and then to the kitchen. I watched the board where I wrote my to do list yesterday night. Yeaaaa i'm trying to be more disciplined woman. I mean organized but sometimes I get too lazy. Like if I invented the word lazy myself.

End the bathroom Shopping at the supermarket Look for a car End the suitcase Work out (you can do this)

I laugh at myself knowing that I will probably not doing the last one. I washed my dishes and turn on the speaker to get in a better mood. I clean a little some stuff since there was still some cardboard here and there. I find myself dancing in front the big mirror in one of the corridor when my phone rang. I didn't know the number so I turned of the music and clear my throat.

« Robyn Matthew, how can I help you » « Hi Robyn this is William. I am with Olivia, you're on speaker. How are you ? » « Hello Robyn »

Ow my new bosses.

« Oh hello to both of you, I'm great thank you to ask. How about you two ? » « We're good ourself thank you. Have you settled yet ? » « Mmh there is still few unopened cardboards but I'm good » « Good to ear that » « You will love LA » Olivia said « I hope so, how can I help you ? » « Well Robyn we were wondering, sorry to ask again but weren't you supposed to start today ?»

My eyes grew wide as my eyebrow start dancing. I wasn't supposed to start today hell no

« I don't think so, I mean I asked to the RH department to postponed my arrival since I have a trip planned » « Oh my baaaaaaaaaad » Olivia shooted « What is it » he asked to Olivia I think « I totally forgot to tell you, Cindy told me few weeks ago but it disappeared from my mind »

My heart stoped racing fast when I told them

« You scared me ! » « I'm so sorry Robyn, William I'm sorry too » « Oh it's ok, you owe us a coffe when she arrives » « Deal » she said laughing « You better note that, or you will forget it too » « Very funny » « Anyway sorry to have bothered you Robyn » William said « It's fine » « Where are you going ? » Olivia asked « Sorry ? » « You said you are goin on a trip, where is it ? »

I twisted my face. How is that suppposed to concern them ? Robyn stay open, be nice, they're just trying to be nice.

« Tulum » « Oh Mexico, well lucky you » « Oh my god, I wish I could have holidays to a place like this » « Anyway Robyn, enjoy you're trip and come back to us resourced. You can't wait to work with you » « Thank you, see you soon » « Bye »

I hang up, a weird feeling in my guts. I mean they were nice. But I'm not really use to have this kind of conversation with my bosses. I tought that they were a good duo both of them. I find myself a little anxious about having two bosses but it's goin to be fine.

Im goin to tell you this, and ear me out when I say: You got this.

I got this. I wanted to turn back on the music. So I scrolled my screen when I saw an Instagram notification.

@bignasty wants to follow you

My face twisted again. Big nasty ? What the hell is that. I'm sure this is a porn count, or a pervet who will try to slide in my Dm. So many weird people on social medias. Thanks god the private button exists so I can control borders 😂 I clicked on it when I saw his face.

Wow.

I took few step back to my couch as my hand was on my chest. Jesus Christ. I found myself put my hand on my mouth so I don't scream and laugh akwardly. God. It was Florian. I mean I think. No no no it was him. How can you forget a face like this. I hold my breath as scrolled down his feed. This man was... l have no word. I rubbed my eyes trying to get back to earth, with a big dumb smile on my face when my phone rang

Xandra 💍 is calling

I picked up and put her on the speaker. I said hi to her in a low voice, I was feeling like I'm out of breath

« GUUUUUUUURL » she screamed « Wassup » « Did Florian asked you on Ig ? » « He did. » « GIRRRL DID YOU SAW THESE PICTURES ?!!!! » « Alexandra, i was checking him when you called » « GURRRRRRL IF YOU DONT EAT HIM ON THIS TRIP I'M KILLING YOU »

I start rubbing my eye again. He was something else. God. Why do I feel this. Then I found myself playing with my finger, where my engagement ring used to be.

It gave me a quick reminder.

« Ok he is super hot, but don't count on me for that » « You're such a child when you act like that. You know what, I'm sure you pantie is already soaking looking at his pic, so just wait. When he is goin in front of you there will be no « don't count on me for that » » « shut up » « Have you end your suite case ? » « Not yet, I think it will be handle this evening» « Ok look listen to me wisely. I don't know what you choose but switch it all up with sexiest stuff » « I'm tired of you »

We stayed on the phone for like an hour. You know how it is when besties are on the phone. All the day she kept teasing me with Florian but I didn't give attention. But I wanted to make her laugh a little so I teased her with a screen and a meme

She hit me back with a message 

« gurl this is too much, you really goin to miss this chance »

What chance ? He just followed me on Instagram. I didn't even accept him yet. He must have a girlfriend, or be a fuck boy. Maybe is he gay. Ok Robyn overthinking AGAIN. It's goin to be cute holidays. I don't want to mess this up.

—— 3836 words

Wassup guys ?

How do you feel about this beginning ?

Is everything understable ? I'm French so you know you girl is struggling a little 🙈

Do not hesitate to give me feedbacks, react, and all that stuff

Next step, Tulum baby 🥵

Take care

NEXT PART

[chappedandfadedvds]

Nov 25th, Wednesday 17:57

Jens had made it back into his room just on time after having picked up Lotte from school. Lucas already sat at his opened laptop on the desk, ready to hear whatever it is Senne so desperately wanted to tell them. The mysterious text he had sent earlier today didn’t really hinted at anything. Jens wasn’t even sure if it was positive or negative news. He could just hope for something good. More bad things in his life were the last thing he needed.

The chat was already busy, only Jana and Luca, obviously, missing.

„Bon soir.“ Jens greeted everyone, while stepping into frame behind Lucas, sitting down on the corner of his bed. He recieved warm welcomes from everyone in return, his boyfriend included, who turned his head around to blow him a little kiss. Jens winking back at him, before shifting his attention back towards the screen.

„So we are waiting on the girls, I guess?“

„Yup.“ Yasmina replied, looking very busy reading a book, as she sat in a very comfortable looking arm chair, sipping on some tea and not paying that much attention to the chat.

„Hola, my beautiful european friends. We had five positive corona cases in our class today, so everyone got send back home to get tested. And now I don’t have to use my shitty phone and instead can marvel at your pretty faces on my pc. Wohoo!“ This girl was something else. Jens thought, smirking at the newest addition to their little meeting. Jana, despite everything she had just told them, smiled into her camera, sipping on some to-go coffee cup, while combing through her hair with a brush, she had pulled from somewhere. This was exactly why Jens had fallen in love with her in the first place. Before the jealousy and his lies.

Apparently, Jana wasn’t done yet.

„So emergency, huh? Who is pregnant?“ Her eyes darting over her screen. „Zoë?“ A bit further to the left. „Or no, not Amber again.“

„Again??“

Aaron was white as a ghost, his soul had left his body. Jens definitely could understand the reaction right now. Apparently the topic of pregnancy had been an issue before, and Jens wasn’t really sure if he wanted to know exactly why.

„I’m not prgenant and never was. Also this was before you.“ Amber replied sitting next to Aaron and pecking a kiss on his cheek. It definitely helped the poor boy to find back to himself, visibly relieved. Yet surprisingly Senne seemed to have frozen in his place. The older boy must have made some sort of connection that wasn’t comprehensible, at least not to Jens. Senne caught himself though rather quick.

„No one is pregnant.“ Zoë said towards the camera, so that everyone could be assured of it, while Jana simply shrugged, rather unaffected.

Lucas turned around, very much puzzled as well, but all Jens could do for the poor boy was to tell him he should ask the girls instead. He wasn’t any wiser himself. Fortunately Luca was joining them not much later, ending the whole conversation. Thank god!

„I was afraid you’d start without me.“ She declared first thing, looking not like she had hurried at all to be with them at six. Not that anyone was really late. Still, the word emergency meeting did made it feel like it was something important. Something they should be on time for.

„Good, so I’ll make it quick and get to the point.“ Senne took over the lead, sitting between Zoë and Milan, who both obviously knew what was up, grinning suspiciously. „And no worries, it is not something bad. It is also no baby. I should have worded it differently in chat, but I need an answer from you guys til seven, so roughly in an hour. I kinda had to make sure you all show up. Especially because of my two usual suspects here always being late.“

„What’s that supposed to mean?“ Moyo said defensive, obviously having been on time today. Though that he felt the need to ask, was very telling. Mainly Moyo admitted himself that he was one of the two implied, Luca clearly being the second person.

Senne went on without acknowledging the boy, as everyone listened intently in anticipation.

„Jana? You are here over the christmas holidays, right? Given your mom needs to be back for work?“

„Eh yes.“ Jana replied, suddenly looking much more interested in where this woud lead too.

„Perfect.“ Senne declared, clapping his hands. „Because my grandparents called me this morning, with an offer. You probably know that I don’t talk to my parents. But I do still with my grandparents, and usually they spent one or two month in winter in switzerland. Now they decided not to go this year, as they are part of the risk group. They asked instead me, if I wanted to go for a week or so over christmas.“

Jens was confused. Were they supposed to congratulate him on having a rich family? 

He was too quick in his judement though, when Senne hadnt finished his little speech yet and continued.

„The house has six rooms, four double rooms and two rooms fitting three people each. Which means all of us could spend the christmas holidays in the swiss alps in an alipne cottage. Guys, I mean, come on!“

Chaos was immediately ensuing over chat, everybody basically talking at the same time. Everyone excited, everyone asking a million questions. Jens included, who for a moment forgot that he had more important responsibilities at home to take care of foremost. He remembered quick enough to shut up and swallow down his growing dissapointment.

„Hey!“ Milan yelled, shutting everyone else up too, making them stare at their screens again.

„There you go.“ The eldest amoung them said smirking towards Senne next to him, giving back the spotlight.

„So I know, that you all have to ask your parents first. And that you have to see if you can make time for it. We also don’t know what the regulations are gonna be in a month. I know. I know. I just need to let my grandparents know if we are interested, everything else we can plan over the next couple of weeks. Otherwise they’ll ask family friends. Somebody has to go to check on the cabin anyway. What do you all say?“

Jens didn’t even had to do anything, as the main response was an affirmative yes.

Lucas looked back at him, trying for a smile, while extanding his hand for Jens to take. He didn’t really care if someone had the chat on a big enough screen to actually see them holding hands.

Jens was sad. He wanted to go as well. Fuck.

Couldn’t be helped though, thus he collected himself and smiled back at Lucas first before he watched his friends overwhelm poor Senne with every question possible. From when, to how they would get there. If he had pictures he may be able to show them. The important stuff.

That was basically the whole of the meeting that was left til they all bid goodbye at seven for Senne to call his grandparents. Which was fitting well, as Jens had to prepare dinner anyway.

__ __ __

tagged: @odi-et-amo85, @tayspots

hei!

so I’m baking a cake and preparing dinner for my better half’s birthday. I haven’t read this clip over before posting, so I hope it makes any sense and that it isn’t too convoluted. Sorry! also hope that this will make up for their missed fall break. We have them spending christams together. I love that. Hopefully you all as well. have a great day and thanks for reading! ❤️

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Rose Coloured Glasses - Part 7

A/N- Thank you to all of you that are showing this Fic love! It means the world to me! ILY 💕

**From here on out expect spoilers from Defending Jacob**

I found it hard to sleep last night, my mind just wouldn't switch off. The thought that there was someone out there that killed a kid..... was this the start of something bigger or just someone with a grudge against Ben Rifkin?

God i wish Frank was here... i really didn't want to be home alone right now. But I hadn't heard from him since i said that i couldn't make drinks, i had sent a few texts but got no reply to any of them. Then my mind would wander to Andy, wondering how he was coping with everything, id seen a different side to him yesterday, a vulnerable side.

I gave up trying to sleep around 5am, had a shower and dressed for work. I decided to stop at the coffee shop on the way to the office today, so left a little earlier than usual. As i was walking towards the coffee shop i saw Frank walk out with his arm around a little blonde's waist nuzzling her neck and smiling, that same panty dropping smile he gave me. After the initial shock i shook my head and scoffed.... how could i have been so stupid to think he meant the shit he said?? Andy was right, Frank was a fuckboy.

When Frank looked up and saw me he looked a bit like a deer in the headlights.

"Morning" i said as i casually as i carried on walking into the coffee shop. It was far too early to deal with shit like that.

I ordered my coffee and something for Andy then grabbed a couple Cinnamon Rolls. As i waited for my coffee's i was approached by Neal Logiudice, he worked for the DA, Andy's protege from what i heard, i hadnt really had much dealings with him to be honest.

"Hi" he said "your Y/N right? Andy's new assistant?"

"Thats right"

"Im Neal Logiudice, i work at the DA's office"

"Yeah i've seen you around" i nodded.

"Its awful about that kid isnt it?"

"The worst, i cant even imagine what his parents must be going through"

"Me either. Im actually surprised Andy isn't doing more you know?"

"No, i dont know!..... what more do you want him to do?? Andy has done everything he can in this case...."

"You see i dont think he has, i think his too close to this one to see clearly"

"Well your wrong Neal, Andy is doing everything he possibly can..... dont try and use this tragedy to further your own position!" I snapped feeling my blood boil at his shitty accusations.

"Two coffee's for Y/N" was called and i turned to go grab them without another word to Neal.

When i got to work i headed straight to Andy's office to give him his coffee and pastry.

"Knock, knock" i said with a smile holding up the coffee's, Andy was sat at his desk looking over a file.

"Hey, come on in" he leant back in the chair and gave me a smile.

"I brought you the good coffee and a Cinnamon Roll" i placed them on his desk in front of him and sat in the chair opposite.

"You angel!"

"I was up early so i had time to stop" i shrugged taking a sip of my drink.

"You okay?"

"Im fine, just..... it doesn't matter" i scoffed shaking my head as i thought about seeing Frank with the blonde and the weird encounter with Neal.

"You know you can talk to me"

"Yeah i know" i nodded quickly "just been a weird morning...."

"Already? Damn that doesn't sound good" he smiled pulling out the cinnamon roll and taking a bite.

"Actually, there is something i feel like i should mention, it just seemed odd....."

"Okay...."

"When i was getting the coffee Neal came over to me"

"Logiudice?"

"Yeah..... he started saying how he thinks you should be doing more on the case, that your too close to see clearly"

"Thats bullshit! I barely even know the Rifkins!" Andy said shocked at what i was telling him.

"I know that, i told him you were doing everything you could. I also may have told him not to use this tragedy to further his own career before walking out" i admitted nervously "i'm sorry.... i just got so pissed when he started talking about you like that"

"Why are you sorry? I would've said a lot worse than that"

"It was unprofessional of me...."

"Neal was the unprofessional one, I wouldn't worry too much about him"

"Okay, i just thought id give you a heads up.... i dont know if his planning to try and get you pushed from the case"

"Probably, sounds like something he would do, his a little shit".

"Creep more like. Anyway, you all set for the interviews at the school? You need me to do anything?"

"We're all good, i'm meeting Duffy at the school at 9 and we'll probably be there all day.... if you can just keep on top of things here for now and i'll call if i need anything?"

"Sounds good"

A knock on the door made us both turn in our seats to see who it was.

"Andy, Lynne's asking to see you" Lynne's assistant Abby said quickly before rushing off on her way.

"Great, i better go. I'll catch up with you later, thanks for breakfast" he winked on his way out.

It was about 20 minutes later when Andy came marching out of Lynnes office, he stopped at my desk when he reached me.

"You were right about Neal, little prick!"

"Oh god, what happened?"

"He went to Lynne and offered to take over the case, he apparently has concerns about the appearance of conflict! which Lynne agree's with!" Andy was trying to keep calm but i could tell how much this was pissing him off.

"He says i'm dragging my feet with the case..... i cant help it if its going slow! We have no evidence except for a partial print!" He sat on the edge of my desk and rubbed his hands over his face "im not just going to indict someone just to make it look good"

"Of course not!"

"He wanted to know why we hadn't already started to talk to the kids at the school.... half the parents there are lawyers, he knows that. We had to do things right.... every single detail had to be negotiated before we could even attempt to talk to the kids"

"So are they taking you off the case??"

"Not yet, Lynne accepted my argument for staying on. For now anyway."

"Thank god!"

"I gotta go meet Duffy....." he sighed as he checked his watch.

"Okay, good luck, i hope you find something that helps. Call me if you need anything?"

"Sure" he nodded giving me a tight lipped smile "thanks for the heads up about Neal"

"Of course, we've gotta stick together right?"

"Right" he smiled giving my hand a quick squeeze, a minute later he was pulling on his coat and heading to the elevators.

Frank: Hey, can we talk?

Y/N: Im working

Frank: Y/N please?

Y/N: I dont have time right now! Haven't you heard whats going on??

Frank: U mean the kid in the woods?

Y/N: Yeah! things are crazy here.

Frank: I bet. Maybe i can come by tonight? I can explain....

Y/N: There's no point, its obvious what was going on. It was all just casual fun with us anyway right? we weren't exclusive or anything.

Y/N: I think its best we don't see each other for a while

Frank: seriously??

Y/N: I gotta get back to work. Take care Frank.

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit

Rose Coloured Glasses taglist: @readermia @princess-evans-addict @jennmurawski13 @matsumama @ex-bloodjunkie @kaithezaftig

[drkcnry67]

title:  Please Don’t Make Me Do This

kink square filled: Knife Play

dark square filled: Knife Play

Heaven & Hell square filled: Demon!Dean

ship: Demon!Dean x reader

rating: 14+

tags: major character death, forced knife play, 

summery (if applicable): its a surprise….

word count (if applicable):

created for @spnkinkbingo @spndarkbingo @heavenandhellbingo 

also this is for a request brought in by @hawaiianohana15 

A/N: please dont shoot me, but cas doesnt actually stay in heaven for what goes down in this story. im sorry for what im gonna put everyone through. i know for me ive put off writing about this particular thing cause it still gives me nightmares. 

tag: @sweetness47 @alexis-m-kruger​

this was possibly the hardest event of your entire life, the hardest day of your life. the day you witnessed the love of your life get murdered on the eve after your engagement. 

you hadnt the heart to send every single person you had invited a letter saying the wedding was cancelled, hell you didnt have the heart o do anything except sit in your old room and listen to all of Dean’s favorites on repeat. 

after about 4 hours Sam had gotten very very concerned, so he made you some coffee and made you up a plate of food and brought it into your room. the sight he saw when he walked inside was something that made him place the food and drink on your dresser and come engulf you in a huge hug. 

course Dean and Sam wanted to take down Metatron, but of course that didnt go as well as expected for it was then that Metatron stabbed Dean. long story short told to you personally through Sam’s sobs… 

Dean had gotten hold of the first blade again after being bruised and beaten badly in a mortal kombat fight type deal with Metatron.

Metatron stabbing Dean through the heart with an angel blade just as Sam came round the corner and Dean of course turned around. 

Sam helped Dean off the ground and tried to make it out of the warehouse but Dean coughed, said he was proud of them and then breathed his last.

Sam had called out for Cas in a loud scream of pain. about 5 minutes later Cas appeared and became terribly horrified at the sight before him. 

Cas: “what happened?”

Sam: “Metatron killed him, we have to get home.. back to the bunker, to YN she needs to know but no one else can… can you get us and the impala back in one shot or is it needed in 2 trips…”

Cas: “it can be done in 1 shot but how will you tell YN… wont she be crushed?”

that was when Cas realized that Sam was gonna tell you after they got back to the bunker… sam was gonna tell you what happened, tell you that Dean died like  hero… that he went down fighting and that his last thoughts werent of her but he knew he loved you.

Cas: “look Sam i know that YN and Dean were a thing but there is something i have to tell you… about their relationship… but she doesnt know, neither of them did… you can’t tell her…”

Sam now intrigued finds the strength to look away from his brothers corpse. Cas took a deep breath watching as Sam now sat looking at him.

Sam: “cant tell her what?”

Cas: “she and Dean fullfilled the prophecy that Heaven spoke over them, they conceived a child a week before the death of a winchester at the hands of Metatron.”

Sam: “YN’s pregnant?”

Cas: “yes, but there is nothing else that can be done here, lets take this show back to the bunker and see if there is anything that can be done about Dean… ill take us all straight to his room, then ill stay here while you go talk to YN before she finds out on her own about Dean…”

Cas teleports Dean and Sam plus himself back to Deans room in the bunker. you were in the library researching a way to get rid of Metatron that would actually be most effective. you didnt hear the boys talking in Deans room. however you only had this feeling like something wasn’t right. 

it stayed with you heavily as you sat there pouring through the books and every page seemed to make time go by alot slower than it actually was… it wasnt until you flipped the page again that you heard your name being called. this made your head snap up…

you went around the corner and Saw Sam walking towards you… 

Sam: “hey squirt!”

You looked around and didnt see Dean, didnt see your man. you turned your gaze back to Sam who walked closer to you…

YN: “where’s Dean?”

Sam: “YN he was hurt badly… there was an accident, it was a bad one… before i let you see him you need to know he might not come back from this one alive… or if alive he wont be himself… the first blade really did a number on him. but his last concious thoughts were of you… YN he wasnt breathing when Cas got to us… Cas is with him now trying to figure this out, but so far no luck…”

YN: “i have to see his body…”

Sam stepped immediately in front of you stopping your entry to the hallway.

YN: “get out of my way Sam… i have to see his body…”

Sam: “no cause if you go in there your not gonna be able to unsee that…”

YN: “there has to be something we can do…”

Sam: “we will find a way but for now lets leave him alone…”

you went back too the library and cracked a bottle of whiskey… Sam stood around the corner for a few minutes and watched you slowly crumble apart… 

Sam went back to talk to Cas…

Cas: “ive healed his major wounds and slowed the death process… how did she take it…”

Sam: “she has started to drink the whiskey… i dont think she will come back from this…”

Cas: “well lets go make sure she isnt gonna do something stupid…”

Sam & Cas take one more glance at Dean’s body before heading out to the library to find you on the phone just kinda out of their hearing patterns.. it was only but a while later that Crowley texted you that he was outside the bunker…

you went to the door and let him inside… you walked down the stairs with Crowley at your tail… both Sam and Cas stood taking defensive position…

Sam: “Squirt what is he doing here?”

You finished walking down the stairs before you answered…

YN: “he is here to help me save Dean… he says he can save him… ergo that is whats going to happen…”

Cas: “dont do this, we cant trust him…”

Crowley: “look ok i have a soft spot for YN and Dean they have become my new favorite couple… but when word got out downstairs about Metatron having killed Dean. i knew it would be only a matter of time before i got a call from YN, but i also knew i might or might not be able to help.. YN show me where the body is… then ill need a while alone with it… for the way this should go may or may not come with alot of side effects…”

you led Crowley to Dean’s room, opening the door this was your first glance at Deans body… this was the only time other than not but 6 years before when you had lost Dean… to your dismay this time looked much much worse.

YN: “crowley do what you have to… just make sure he comes back to me in one piece…”

Crowley: “ill do my best and let me be the first to say congratulatons!”

you left the room wondering what the hell he meant, but still made your way back to the library… you sat on the couch and waited, waited patiently…

—————————

Crowley stands beside Dean placing the first blade in Dean’s right hand and placing both on his chest. 

Crowley: “listen to me Dean Winchester, what you’re feeling right now, it’s not death. It’s life, a new kind of life. Open your eyes, Dean. See what I see. Feel what I feel. And by the way your going to be a father, now lets go take a howl at the moon.”

—————————-

something stirred, you felt it, you felt the house shake, the entire bunker shook with a violent power… it wasnt but a few moments later that the power went out in the entire bunker… no sound could be heard but something inside you stirred, something felt new, arisen if you would… 

YN: “Sam, Cas are you guys okay?”

Sam and Cas are at your sides immediately! 

Cas: “i dont know but i cant leave my power isnt working…”

Sam: “YN you looked a little stunned a few moments ago… what did you feel?”

You didnt know how to answer that, it was a very strange feeling but being bonded with Dean made things easier. during hunts and stake outs… but now it felt like something went horribly wrong… crowley did however say that there may be side effects… 

YN: “i think whatever Crowley did worked but i dont feel normal Dean i feel a much darker force… if that is why the power went out then we need to lock this place down… now and we need to prepare for the worst… lock it down nothing gets in and nothing gets out…”

you, Sam and Cas all armed yourselves, going down the halls till the tri-fork in the hall… each of you took a hall… Cas came across nothing he stayed near the armory for a few minutes to make sure Dean wouldnt be able to easily access it if he came that way… Sam made it down his hall way to the garage, but obviously with the security locked down and the power outage the garage wouldnt be a good escape route… 

you went down the bedroom hallway, the emergency red lights going down the hallway made it to your room, checked it once and cleared it of being offended… then sam’s room along with Cas’ room…. 

the room at the end of the hall, the one room where you didnt think anything was wrong… the one room where the closer you got the more anger and pain you felt… before you could fully encrouch on the room, the door flung off its hinges… you ducked into the darkened bathroom… 

Demon!Dean: “Sammy, YN, Castiel! where is everyone to greet the brother who has come back from the dead? YN baby come give daddy a kiss…”

Dean now walking towards the bathroom slowly, now sniffs the air… he suddenly becomes ravenous for the being who holds the smell of pumpkin pie. the closer he got to the bathroom, the stronger the smell got. 

Demon!Dean: “come on out Baby.. i dont want to hurt you, but i will if i have to… come on out baby… dont you want to celebrate with me about our child… oh yes i know all about that… you can thank Crowley for that… now im gonna count to 3 if you dont show yourself by the time i get to 3, im gonna hurt you baby, i dont want to but i will…1…”

you didnt know what to do, so you stood there behind the door and didnt realize that you were starting to sweat badly your gun was slipping… before you could even react your gun fell to the ground…

Demon!Dean: “ah so you want to have a bit of bathroom fun hmm… well daddy brought a fun little tool… now lets play…”

with that Demon!Dean stalked into the bathroom forcefully pulling the door shut as he now stood there with you in the creepy red lighting, he stood there with his pocket knife. 

YN: “please dont do this, you dont want to hurt me i know you dont… for the sake of our child… please… i didnt know about my being pregnant D… im just finding out about this… look ok it tore me up to see your body like that, so i called Crowley… i knew when the power went out that you had come back… but i didnt expec…”

before you could say another word, his hand covered your mouth… he gently yet firmly ran the knife over your skin, he pressed down in certain tender spots, like your forearms, your thighs, your chest, as well as your cheeks. before stopping at your neck to lean in to sniff your aroma.. 

Demon!Dean: “you know babe, i never pictured myself as a father… i just realized i never told you what i did in Hell the first time i died… i tortured people, i tortured souls… these people didnt deserve it, but i didnt care, i liked it… now i think i’ll torture you similar to them…”

at that moment with lightning speed he ran the knife through all your clothes till you were standing in your Bra and panties. this made you shiver since it wasnt the man you fell in love with standing before you doing this to you. 

at that moment you felt the knife he was holding go into your skin on your thigh, you buckled at the pain, yet Demon!Dean just laughed with amusement. he ran his hands over your body, feeling you tense and un-tense beneath his touch. 

Demon!Dean: “i still have enough sense to know not to fuck a pregnant woman… but that doesnt mean i cant make you bleed…”

before he could finish cutting you in a few more places, the sound of your name came ringing through the halls. 

Sam: “cas do you see that?”

Cas looks straight ahead at the door on the floor…

Cas: “does that mean he is back?”

Sam: “yes but he doesnt have the strength normally to kick in these door which are reinforced with iron… he would have to…”

thats when it hit Sam like a sack of bricks… the shocked look on his face now said everything he connected the dots and soon realized that whereever Dean was you would be too…

Sam: “Dean or whatever you call yourself.. show yourself now…”

then he turned to Cas and in a low whisper adressed him.

Sam: “ok Cas go down the hall and hide around the corner as soon as he shows himself ill keep his gaze fixed on me, use your teleportation to get directly behind him… go…”

Cas ran to where Sam said but heard the same not so distant voice Sam soon did…

Demon!Dean: “ill be out in a second brother, im just taking a leak… then ill come out and talk…”

Demon!Dean finished making you bleed some more watching your body slide down the wall, weak from blood loss as he opened the bathroom door and exited…

Demon!Dean: “hey Sammy… come give your big brother a hug…”

Sam started to slowly back up seeing the blood covering Dean’s hands and clothes… 

Sam: “where’s YN?”

Demon!Dean: “i wouldnt know your the first one ive seen…”

Sam: “then whose blood are you covered in?”

Demon!Dean: “i found a family of rats and slaughtered them… why do you look so scared bro?”

Sam: “thats not rats blood is it?”

Demon!Dean could only bring off a dark smile… as he followed Sam down the hall and away from the bathroom… Cas took his opportunity to come out from around the corner and go towards the bathroom… where he found you… he took off his trench coat and laid it over you…

Cas: “what did he do to you?”

YN: “he called it knifeplay… i have no idea why he did this but he needs something… he needs a good angelic exorcism…”

Cas: “what do you have in mind?”

you explained to Cas that first you needed to get into some clean clothes of some kind and clean up some of this blood… Cas went to your room and grabbed one of your satin gowns… 

Cas came back seeing you limping… he helped steady you while you got dressed… then he took your arm with his hand… he smiled lightly and dove deep into steadying you before helping you into the direction that he watched Demon!Dean & Sam go in… 

he made sure you were alright before he took off to get into his position… slowly but steadily you made your way down the hall… to the sound of running footsteps and the sound of something breaking…

Demon!Dean: “Sam come on lets not play these games… why do you hide from your older brother…”

you steadied yourself and held the colt up high…

YN: “Demonic force that resides within Dean Winchester… i address the entity within thee… please dont make me do this…”

Demon!Dean turns to face you slowly after stopping in his tracks…

Demon!Dean: “YN baby i see you have managed to get up off the floor and clean yourself up… darling you really should be more careful with that, since when did i give you permission to touch that gun…”

YN: “you didnt i took it from your hiding place when i got up off the floor… you need to make sure that you pick better hiding spots…”

Demon!Dean: “and you need to make sure not to snoop…”

YN: “dont make me do this…”

you stayed tall and strong keeping the Colt trained on Dean…

Demon!Dean: “now now babe put the gun down… put it down or take your shot…”

you started to slowly put the gun down but then he charged towards you, Cas came out behind Dean and wrapped his arms around him from behind… 

you took your shot, you shot Dean while he was in the arms of Cas, you watched between Cas’ angelic grace and the bullet from the colt the demonic energy that was within Dean now blinked away… now within the eyes of the man before you, blinked between the demonic force within and the Dean you fell in love with.

Cas: “ready YN im gonna keep holding onto him while you enact the final part of your plan… anytime now…”

that was your cue, you tossed the colt in the air running towards the man who stole your heart a thousand times over… you kissed him, he didnt react right away it was about 5 minutes into the kiss that he started to kiss you back…

thats when Cas let go, it made you feel normal to be back in Dean’s embrace… once the kiss broke you took him over to the security station you had set up and showed him all of what happened… 

Dean: “i know that i wasn’t myself but i hurt you, i hurt the one person who means the world to me… i’m so sorry YN… you don’t deserve a guy like me… i’m a worthless piece of shit… to top it all off, we are expecting a baby… we are expecting i don’t know if i’m ready to be a father…”

YN: “i know your gonna do wonderful as a father, and i also know that when i saw you basically dead, it tore me apart, i dipped so far into the whiskey that i almost blacked out, if the power hadnt gone out, i wouldn’t be awake right now…”

Cas and Sam come back into the room making sure that it was safe first… then Sam took it upon himself to hand Dean his jacket, to which made you look with confusion but you didnt make anything of it.

Sam: “good luck buddy…”

you grab 3 glasses & the whiskey, while the charade continues… but wasnt expecting what happened next…

Dean: “dont touch your glass of whiskey yet…. YN there is something i wish to discuss with you first…”

You stared at Dean curiousity swimming in your mind… Dean took a small swig of his whiskey before he continued to speak…

Dean: “YN in all my years together never have i ever been so amazed by anyone. you’re strong, brave, talented, one of the best with a machete ive ever seen, i never would have seen myself being with someone who is as lovely and smart as you… YN i know we have just been through hell and back and both need a really good shower, but will you do me the incredible honor of marrying me and making me the luckiest man alive…”

YN: “yes yes yes…”

thats when Dean opened the ring box out of his jacket and slid the expensive but not expensive ring on your finger… the toasting lasted for 30 minutes before the cuts on your body cloted, and the blood on Dean crusted, but it was about time when you spoke again…

YN: “Dean no offense but you need a shower…”

Dean: “funny darling i could say the exact same thing about you….”