#theyve been on my mind all day.
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prosenna (my brain repeats as i stare at my unfinished school work)
#the brain rot.#guys.#its bad.#theyve been on my mind all day.#abt to open ao3.#f1#formula 1#alain prost#ayrton senna#prosenna
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SILLIEST SHIP 🩵💜
#theyre so qpr#theyve been on my mind all day RAHHH#Also sorry i vanished for a while-#my laptop broke so ive been condemned to drawing on mobile 💔💔#kinda fun tho#inanimate insanity#osc art#ii fanart#ii mepad#ii toilet#ii toipad#my art
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Taking a break from Twili worldbuilding sheets (I just finished page 4 earlier today) and decided to draw some gay dragons. So here’s a snippet!
My wargod au, Ballad has a dragon form. I’ve been contemplating a dragon form for a while and decided visually it would look really nice so why not xD
#dragon#loz au#Fierce Deity#Wargod Ballad (Kheprriverse)#Ko’jin (Kheprriverse)#Moon Serpent (Kheprriverse)#Baljin#Kheprriverse#kheprriart#ough i love drawing dragons#i dreamt about them last night so theyve just been on my mind all day#decided to take a break from twili stuff to indulge on some doodles#also sorry for not posting at my usual time. ive been so damn focused lately#tempted to clean this up and color it properly tbh
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i just. hit s+ rank in splatoon and i never honestly thought this would happen?? am i cool now.. do i get to be a part of the s4? do i get to be watered down to my running joke all the time?
#the last part is a joke but i do not see a whole lot of recognition of the s4 being. the s4#like yeah they were cool formidable foes in the s1 era and skull even beat goggles despite his plot armor#but now theyre just#there??#dont get me wrong i love their existence but#it feels like theyve been watered down at least a bit#skull is always just getting lost and army is almost always either the manual guy or the curry guy#thats. thats it thats their bits#skull also has the sweets thing#rider is sometimes a considerable foe too but at the same time the s4 doesnt usually consist of him so im not sure how much to count him#that being said it is a kids manga so i dont really expect it to lean too far into the formidable foes thing#even the xblood werent that scary in the long run and ended up goofy despite being who they were#i also get it in terms of fandom#i understand the appeal of something like aloha being cutesy dumb pink guy (who maaaaaaybe commited some crimes and it shows)#i also definitely understand the appeal of army having a thing for curry as well as the manuals#the manuals can be an endearing thing to write about trust me#but i also wouldnt mind seeing more things that center around the likes of the s4 and the xblood and even the best8 being the absolute best#of the best during their prime#reminder that s+ was the highest rank around when the s4 were introduced. same with the xblood#they were the strongest players and id like to see things that center around that#id like to imagine that moving on to the square and splatsville that the s4 would have had a chance to move uo and get into xbattles#i think of all of them skull and army would have the highest chances of actually making it to xrank and being successful#but honestly if mask and aloha could probably make it pretty well too if they got off their asses#and i think rider would excel as well being rider#he has his own kind of near plot armour i think#so do most of the big teams in my opinion#theyre the sort of doomed by the plot that forces them to battle goggles at some point lmao#maybe i could use this in a fic or au one day#maybe someone already has...#(please send to me if you know of any creators who have played around with these vague ideas of strength i wanna see em)
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Would love to tell this job to go fuck itself in favour of being a park ranger but unfortunately every national park that has given me an offer is somewhere where the cost of living is so egregious that the salary doesn't even begin to cover it. Maybe I should try for park warden instead
#the thing is i dont mind this jobs duties at all#i could do it all day#its all the management and work culture bs that makes it borderline unlivable#if all i did all day was screen passengers and x ray bags it would be nothing to me#i can deal with karens i used to work retail#its all the power tripping and collective punishment and treating us like children who cant be trusted to use the washroom without asking#like 3rd graders. and then making us clock in for it to time how long it takes us to piss and come back#while at the same time saying they trust us to find bombs. like which is it. you cant have it both ways#and then everyone i work with are fucking vultures#who bully anyone different than them and act like theyre better than everyone else because theyve been here 2 months longer#literally i spend like 10% of my mental energy actually doing my job and the other 90% trying to avoid getting yelled at#often in front of everybody else passengers and coworkers#work tales
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i'm going on a trip to europe tmrw until the 31st so get ready for a bunch of airport/europe/tour/beach/whatever international bullshit i experience during the trip because i MUST relate everything i do to the murder time trio or can i even call myself a fan. the tricule hc tag is going to be FLOODED over these next few days (and i also have unironically like 45 drafts ready for the posting if i run out of ideas (UNLIKELY) so yeah. this blog is GETTING SPAMMED!!!!!!)
anyways i'm packing now :3 i took a day off today because i just seriously spent all of monday and tuesday horror analyzing th moment i wake up at 9 and go to sleep at 1. and then i spent the entirety of wednesday yesterday dust translating (and i have more of calvateyla's ao3 fics to translate too) so i'll probably be working on both of those (AND HOPEFULLY MY SUMMER HOMEWORK BECAUSE I DIDN'T DO IT YET) until i return. in which idk ill explode or something maybe i'll make a new project or pick up a wip or something (stares with my big pink orange green sparkly luminous iridescent eyes at swapinverse. or my other mtt ideas that DEFINITELY should be made into art or writing or something instead of text form but i'm really lazy so)
#tricule rant#UGGHHH today has been an MTT DAY for me#theyve been on my mind all day. this is the most i've posted in a while#i usually try to hold myself back from posting because like. what if its annoying someone to have random un-mtt related posts on their page#but like also i need to save my ideas for future days incase i cant come up with an idea for the next day#scarcity mentality but with fucking murder time trio headcanons and rants#AND ALSO if i don't post the next day then how will i satisfy myself and my fans??? the world is at a loss if i keep my mtt ideas to myself#because then that means therell be less mtt content in the world and then that means a sad world and then the utmv explodes#and then ink is sad because i didn't create and shared my creations and told everyone my ideas and#i love ink sans being a little creator motivator type of guy. he genuinely pushes me to create#because wdym someone made a character to motivate you to create THATS SUCH A COOL CONCEPT!!!!!!!!!#anyways mtt at the airport being drafted once i'm at the airport at probably 3 in the fucking morning or something#mtt on a road trip coming soon. mtt at the beach PART 2 coming soon. mtt at tourist attractions coming soon. mtt eating food coming soon to#EVERYTHING MTT RELATED IS COMING SOON. im cursed with mtt brainrot help#if i were another person and i found my blog i would be like OMG this person's awesome because they post all the content i like and are coo#and then id b like this person is amazing and they dont know it but theyre now my favorite online figure#thank you alternate me i do really appreciate it#youre welcome blog poster me keep posting mtt content it keeps me alive like the sun and a tree
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i bet you could make like a chart of which content creators know each other and what sorta friend groups/circles they're part of and it would just be a HUGE web with a LOT of overlap between groups and it'd be SO messy with just the sheer amount of friendships between creators
#like it's honestly so baffling to me#like i know and am acquainted with fyrus and hackerling through failboat and now theyre appearing in vinesauce highlights??#and apparently boat is friends with vinny who's friends with jerma who sorta has his own friend circle#and also through rubberross boat's interacted with very famous animators on youtube like jaiden and the odd1sout#and who knows what famous creators THEYVE probably interacted with (idk i dont watch them)#oh and also boat's friends with slimecicle who also has connections to the sorta like dream smp group i think(?) who again. pretty famous#and to think that being a mod for one streamer makes me sort of a part of this whole gigantic web of creators#who i could very well become acquainted with someday one way or another. WILD to me#like especially if i decide to start streaming later on which ive been considering#it's just. mind boggling putting it into perspective#(would be really fun if when i run a show one day i could get famous content creators to do voice cameos. imagine)#(or even to just straight up voice a recurring character. i do already have smth in mind there hehe)#<- all of this has been a peek into my deranged mind. i know i sound crazy i agree
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DID YOU SEE THE KVTHM DIALOGUE LEAKS…
ANON I HAVE AND I HAVENT BEEN OKAY SINCE. THIS IS EVERYTHING HAIKAVEH NATION HAS BEEN WAITING FOR. EVERYTHING IS ALIGNING. AND I DEFINITELY HAVE THOUGHTS. I THINK I SHALL WAIT UNTIL THE STORY QUEST COMES OUT SO EVERYTHING IS DEFINITIVE BUT KNOW I'M NOT OKAY!! I HOPE WE'RE ALL HOLDING UP <3333
#yeah theyve been on my mind all day#if anyone wants to talk about the leaks btw feel free to yell at me in my inbox or in dms <3333#cyno story quest leaks
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I dont need these things but i wanna get those like finger pulse oxygen readers and the like blood pressure wrist cuffs. I dont need them i go to dr appts all the time and ive never had issues but like all of a sudden i feel like i really need them and i need to know these stats daily
#we technically have a blood pressure cuff my mom wanted one and then we kept it around before we knew i had sezuires cause we#were worried cause id just have episodes and nearly black out so my dad had me check it a lot#but its the arm one and i dont know how to use it#also ive been like worried a lot lately abt getting seziures which idk why cause theyve been very controlled for like year n half 2yrs now#so theres no reason i should be concerned but i am and i think taking my vitals everyday would make me feel much better#cause like nevermind the fact i havent had a deep breath in like 5 years and im constantly lifting like many many pounds of stuff#all at once all day long and like getting a workout essentially my slightly elevated heart rate means im just gonna like#drop to the floor n black out or like explode or something like theres no reason i need to be taking my pulse like 10 times a day#but it makes me feel better and i will give into that#much like spraying my house with lysol constantly or having to do my door lock routine like 3 times a night it makes me feel better#and i will totally give into that#like thats relatively normal i feel like#i wore a watch for like 2 months straight cause in my mind that was the only thing preventing nuclear war and like i dont wear watches#like that but alas i had to cause im built different (incorrectly) and it was my job to prevent nuclear war#wow im so normal about everything
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all my old fav youtubers coming back this fall has gotten me into a mood where I've been diving back into old bands I used to listen to religiously. and i gotta say ... they all still slap
#[static]#not that i ever stopped listening to them much but ive been playing the entire album instead of just listening to favorites#so many memories tied to certain albums fkjghdf#i dont miss being a teen/in my early 20s at all life was so much harder and confusing and it was the height of my worst mental health years#but the world did feel simpler#the punk and emo scene fucked HARD in the early 2000s and 2010s#i hope we see a revival (and i feel like ive been seeing some new artists that hit that nostalgia in the right way)#i have been genuinely feeling Older recently and not in a bad way. its just funny to be in an age bracket that is a minority where i work#ppl are either way to old to know what im talking about or where literal babies when i was in school#i had to explain what camp was at work the other day and also they had no idea what rocky horror picture show was and me and the -#other gay millennial at work were losing our minds that people in their 20s hadnt heard of rocky horror#politely losing our minds of course like ... who cares if people dont know or do the things we did as young queers but also it -#- definitely made us feel older!#theyve also been playing a station that has all the music from my middle school and high school years ....#you know you're getting old when theres now a store radio station for it LOL they never play anything current
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When I wake up? Thinking about The Doctor loving Yasmin
In the middle of the day? Talking about The Doctor loving Yasmin
When I lay down for bed? Dreaming about The Doctor loving Yasmin
#sadness cant get me when I have ''i with this could go on forever''#ppl would care more if it was david but she was gonna meet a regen id want it be ncuti#if nobody got me ik jodie and mandips insane facial journeys do o7#like ofc i wanted a kiss who didnt but the love was real and was there#she loved yaz sm it scared her ill shout it from the mountains#if rtd isnt a coward hed let tennant/gatwa be sad about yasmin if not outright let her meet one#anyway theyre important to me theyve been on my mind all day today#char.txt#doctor who
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mm...
#i think maybe i should take a break from tumblr...#idk... i feel like im becoming a little bit too obsessive#like with everything... with everyones image of me and with everyone and with .... idk im starting to ...#im starting to obsess over every little interaction with everyone i desire to be closer to#and thats... not healthy... ive spend so much time recently worried about if the people i want to be friends with even really like me#and i know they do theyve said as much but ... even with that im still feeling left out and i dont want to feel like that#not that i AM being left out but my brain making me feel as if i am ... and im not sure how to change it other than maybe taking a step bac#im sorry if theres anyone ive made uncomfortable with my interactions#i tend to be very.... forward once someone is nice to me and i dont realize im being too annoying or overbearing so im really sorry if ive#done that to you im really really sorry#so if you dont see me around for a few days this might be why#im still... not sure if ill fully leave but....#idk if you read this and i HAVENT been overbearing and annoying id really like some reassurance that i havent been ... because somtimes...#its hard to hear all the genuine nice voices over my own mind telling me no one wants me around#sorry if u read this tho....#spice.txt#spice.vent#i guess its a vent??? tagging in case....
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hey folks, just wanted to let you know that i'll be taking a break from tumblr for a little while (see previous post for explanation). i've realised that all this drama is really getting to me, and so i think i should keep my distance for now to protect my mental health, until things have calmed down and/or i'm in a better headspace to deal with it. i'll definitely be back though! i love my weird little corner of the internet too much to abandon it permanently. thank you to everyone who reacted to my vent post, it made me feel a lot less alone <3
#atm there are so many different opinions floating around that i find it very difficult to make up my mind about the article#i still think that at least some of the points are valid but it may not be as simple as people (myself included) have made it out to be#harlan guthrie of malevolent made a post about it that imo offers a really interesting alternative perspective#so i'd encourage people to check that out if theyve read the article so they can get a more balanced view#but i'll try not to draw any conclusions until we have more evidence#but i think its important to remember that boycotting rq network shows because of this will only harm the creators#and even for tma i personally dont believe that rq deserves sole (or even most of the) credit#for turning it into something that resonated with so many people#many of those who worked on tma arent rq execs or even all that involved with rq outside of tma (including jonny himself ofc)#so i think itd be a real shame if rq's (alleged) shady business practices ruined tma for people to whom it really meant something#my excitement about tmp has certainly been... dampened but i'll still try to approach it with an open mind#as long as jonny is working on it (and seems genuinely excited about it) i'm cautiously optimistic that it won't be a bad story#but i'm rambling again so tldr: shit is complicated#i really need to pick up my meds today because this is not a great time to be going through antidepressant withdrawal#todays a bad pain day so i'm not thrilled about leaving the house but whatever#anyway bye for now! see y'all (hopefully) soon :)
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yeah sure ill post this doodle here too
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wow i did not think it would be this quick
#mine#i was blocked NSMDMDMA#i mean it hurt but idc#like at this point i just want to be okay#i want you to be ok too bro#im so mad im extremely upset that u put me and the others through all the bs#but i also hope this is gonna be eye opening for you#god knows how much you need a reality check#i do hope one day we can try again#but its your fight. you will need to prove to me you can change and that you did change. i need to see the results#and the apology ofc - for the breaches of privacy and the lying and the manipulation and all that rot#cuz it fucked me up so bad#mind you i dont trust anyone now#like i trust one person and thats my best friend of years#bc theyve been here with me through thick and thin#thats it.#idk if i can ever trusr anyone again#but i finally know now i wasnt insane!!#all this time i thought i was going nuts cuz surely that wasn't normal??? IT WASNT! I WASNT GOING NUTS!#god#therapy is gonna be fun#screaming into the void
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#so wild to me that my redneck psilocybin therapy is actually working lmfao#like despite it all my mental health is insanely better and im not taking literally any psych meds. just a gram of psilocybin every#3/4 weeks in a relaxing/positive setting and a bit of mindfulness#my general constant anxiety and depression has decreased in severity by leaps and bounds- and while my cptsd/trauma responses are still#really hard on me- theyve also improved a bit. i feel like i mentally recover from them faster. i might be debilitated by a really bad#flashback/trauma response for like a day instead of a week or more#i generally feel more idk. productive? like. okay abt an hour ago i took abt 1 g of shrooms and i managed to like. do basic hygiene and#clean my apartment a bit and do some dishes. obv my perception of things is a little wonky bc. yknow. shrooms#but all in all i just feel better. like a weight is off my shoulders and i can actually be a little productive and kind to myself.#obviously anyone who tries to medicate w psilocybin without guidance from a doctor should be so careful. before i started i was#playing hell bc of the insane amt of mental illness- particularly psychosis- that runs on both sides of my family. i could have easily been#predisposed to some kinda mental breakdown/psychotic episode thatd be induced by psilocybin. you have to be careful.#but this was kindof a last ditch effort anyways lmfao- i took the risk knowing i might fuck myself up.#but!!!! it has helped me so much. just 3 months and i dont wanna kill myself anymore- after 15+ years of being actively suicidal
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