#thinking that i might not make much tma art next year and this might be my last for a while

[samwise1548]

Based off of a personal experience I had earlier last week. Sometimes I forget Christian holidays exist despite them being treated as the most important thing ever by the majority here. And I think Jon would do the same thing (I'm projecting).

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[ID: A Magnus Archives comic featuring Timothy Stoker, Sasha James, and Jonathan Sims.

Tim is a light brown skinned, Puerto Rican man with bleached bangs, short brown hair and a mustache. He's wearing a light blue Hawaiian shirt with sharks on it that are each wearing a red Santa hat that matches the one on his own head. He's also wearing a green boa with bells around his neck.

Sasha is an black British woman with dreadlocks that are all bleached at the ends and yellow glasses. She's wearing antlers on her head, and a white and red knit sweater.

Jon is a brown man with short black and grey hair and rectangular glasses and a mustache. He's wearing a two piece navy blue suit, over a white shirt and black tie. He's holding a brown satchel.

Panel one) Tim and Sasha are waving goodbye to Jon as they leave. Tim says "'night, Jon. Happy holidays!" Sasha says "Don't stay too late. And have a happy holiday!" Jon, off to the side is in the middle of equipping his satchel.

Panel two) A close up of Jon and he finishes putting the satchels strap over his shoulder. He watches his colleagues leave off screen. There is a visual sound effect of the door closing.

Panel three) Jon let's go of his satchel and thinks to himself with a slightly confused and awkward ecpression, "Wait... What holiday is it this time?"

\End ID]

[ollieofthebeholder]

to find promise of peace (and the solace of rest): a TMA fanfic

Read from the beginning on Tumblr || AO3 || My Website A/N: There's a soundtrack to this chapter if you want to listen.

Chapter 95: June 2004

The applause is meant to sound sweeter to her ears. She’s meant to be proud, to be sitting straight and tall with a barely concealed smile—or maybe not concealed at all—and relishing the audience’s delight and enthusiasm. That’s the way this works, after all; it’s the greatest triumph imaginable, the climax of the story in a lot of ways, or at least of this part of the story, and she’s meant to feel that this is in a way her triumph too.

But it doesn’t, and she’s not, and the only thing Liliana feels is annoyance.

She masks it with a polite, empty smile and the least sarcastic clapping she can manage, and at least the cane gives her a plausible excuse for not joining in the standing ovation. Mentally, she pats herself on the back for the foresight to have brought it along, although she couldn’t exactly have done otherwise, not when she’d tried to use her health and fatigue as an excuse not to come at all. But Roger hadn’t insisted on much in the five years they’d been married, and while she could have convinced him otherwise, it would be…inconvenient if he remembered he really wanted her to come.

She should have put a stop to this years ago, she thinks as the lauding goes on around her. Moved into school districts that were cutting the arts rather than encouraging them, pushed him towards athletics, something. Maybe taught him at home like Mary did Gerard, or asked to have them taught together. At the very least, she should have paid better attention when Roger and Melanie tried to tell her what she missed. She’s always just assumed it’s a class like any other, something Martin gets middling grades in and skates by on by stammering and smiling awkwardly and trying really hard so people excuse things (she’s done her best to curtail that, to keep him from attracting too much attention from the Web, but it’s useful in a pinch so she lets some of it slide). When he said he was auditioning for…whichever program, something up in Edinburgh of all places…she assumed he would fail, badly, and it would be that much easier to convince him to stop wasting his time on schooling and go into helping with the books and…other things full time.

She didn’t know he was decent. More than decent. From the cheers of the crowd and the way the director spoke, he’s good.

Two solos. Two! Three if you count his director encouraging him to come out and perform his “audition piece” as an encore. Liliana isn’t sure if the program he somehow managed to get into is actually that impressive or if boys from this school don’t generally continue studying music when they get to their A-levels, but she’s definitely not going to be able to talk Martin into turning this down no matter how hard she tries.

Damn the luck. They were counting on him.

The murmur of the crowd starts up and people begin to move. Roger drops back into his seat next to her, beaming. “Wasn’t that a wonderful performance?”

“That’s the best one ever,” Melanie says enthusiastically from his other side.

Roger laughs. “You say that every time.”

“It’s always true.”

Roger pats Liliana’s hand. “Aren’t you glad you didn’t miss this one?”

Liliana returns his smile and squeezes his hand, and doesn’t answer. Roger is a good man. A good provider. She made a good choice when she picked him out of the group at the SPARK meeting, and his naivety is usually an asset. Once in a while, though, it’s just the teensiest bit irritating.

Melanie gives her a sharp look, just for a second—she always understands when Liliana is neither pleased with nor impressed by Martin—but Roger, sunshine incarnate, merely looks around the crowd. “It’s a shame Mary and Gerard couldn’t make it back in time for this.”

“Someone might have recorded it,” Melanie says. “I know it’s not the same, but at least G—they can hear it.”

Liliana suppresses the urge to roll her eyes, but Melanie’s right; Mary wouldn’t enjoy this any more than Liliana did. Too many people, too much noise, and nothing inspiring whatsoever about the music, plus she would only be sitting there getting progressively more irritated that Martin clearly wouldn’t be going into the business.

Unless something happens to his voice. Surely there’s something in one of Mary’s books…but that will take time and care. She’ll have to wait until Mary gets back, probably in early September, and discuss it more fully with her.

“Want me to go find Martin?” Melanie offers. “Then we can go get dinner or something.”

“Thank you, Melanie, but I will go get him,” Liliana tells her. “You go with your father to fetch the car, and we��ll meet you out front—will that be acceptable?”

A sudden look of confusion flits across Roger’s face. “Did we—we didn’t drive here. We…walked?”

Liliana’s smile is a bit more genuine as she pats Roger’s hand. She’s been noticing these little lapses in memory, and while she’s not above using them to her advantage when necessary, she is actually sympathetic to his struggles. “We did, dear, but I’m not going to be able to walk much longer, so why don’t you two go to the house and bring the car back, and then we can decide where we’d like to go out to eat? It’s a special occasion, after all.”

“Oh!” Roger looks relieved. “Of course, that’s a wonderful idea. You and Martin will be all right until we get back?”

Liliana laughs lightly. Roger probably can’t tell it’s forced. “I probably won’t even be able to get to him for all the well-wishers until you get back. Off you go, then.”

She waits until Melanie and Roger are out of sight before she stands up so that neither of them notice she doesn’t need the cane to do so, or to shuffle out of the row.

It’s not that she isn’t sick…well, diseased is probably a better word; corrupted fits best, really, but she shies away from using that word more than she has to. But she has good days and bad days, and while she admittedly has more bad days than good when Mary isn’t around to help with wards and rituals, this isn’t one of them. Or hasn’t been so far. She can feel her efforts beginning to fail, and she wasn’t exactly lying when she said she won’t be able to walk much longer. Still, she’s certainly not I’m afraid I’m not up to it tonight sick, and Roger and Melanie don’t need to know that.

She ignores the odd voice that seems to both whisper and shout in the back of her mind insisting that they do, actually, and begins making her way through the thinning crowd. For the first and only time, she wishes she had come to more of these concerts, not to hear Martin’s performances but so that people might recognize her as Martin’s mother. They look nothing alike—Martin looks more and more like his father every day, while she takes after her paternal grandmother, or so her father always insisted, you remind me of Mamusia—and of course she looks nothing like her stepdaughter. Roger doesn’t always make it to the concerts either, between his work and looking after her on her bad days, and without him or Melanie in tow, she’s…invisible.

She dislikes it. She dislikes it immensely. If she has to be here, she ought to be feted and lauded too, the mother of the evening’s star.

Then again, none of the people she passes seem to be talking about Martin specifically, so maybe he’s not as big a deal as the director wants people to think.

She finally finds Martin in a quiet alcove off to one side, his eyes bright and his smile somehow both shy and proud as he speaks to a woman almost as tall as he is, whipcord thin and very elegantly dressed, apricot-colored hair styled in a manner common to women who came of age in the 1960s and 1970s. She’s very nondescript, really, not particularly distinguishable from any other elderly woman in the crowd. Still, while Liliana can’t see her face, she immediately loathes her and wants her to be somewhere else.

Martin spots her over the woman’s shoulder, and surprise and delight flit across his face; he stayed after school to help get the auditorium ready, so this is the first time he’s seen her all day. “Mum! I didn’t know you were going to be coming…uh, ma’am, this is my mother, Liliana King. Mum, this is Mrs. Smith, she’s the one who told me about the program at Edinburgh.”

The woman turns around. Her lips tighten, very briefly; Liliana manages to keep a semblance of a pleasant smile on her own face. “Charmed. Martin, you should have told me you had solos.”

Why, so you could have made a better excuse? a bitter voice hisses in the back of her mind. She ignores it, mostly because it’s right, but it doesn’t need to be so judgmental about it.

“Oh, I…” Martin rubs the back of his neck, which, like his face, is slowly turning pink. “I, um, I didn’t want you to feel bad if you couldn’t make it.”

“Knowing that would have made no difference in my guilt levels,” Liliana says with perfect accuracy. She makes a quick, subtle gesture to ward off evil, possession, and the annoying little whisper that is calling her several rude names and adds, “Do you need to help with the cleanup, or put your music away? You’d best go do that. Then find out if Roger and Melanie are back with the car, there’s a good boy. I’ll wait for you here.”

“Of course, Mum.” Martin hesitates. “Do you want me to—there, um, the school office has wheelchairs you can borrow sometimes, for emergencies. Do you want me to see if there’s one available?”

“After you’ve finished the cleanup.” Liliana hates the idea, actually, but she has to admit she’s not going to make it to the front door under her own steam at this point, and being pushed in a hospital chair that probably has three flat tires and cracked vinyl that will pinch her in awkward places is going to be less of a humiliation than being carried in the arms of her fifteen-year-old son. “Go on, now. I’ll be fine until you get back.”

“Congratulations again, Martin.” The voice is low and slightly gravelly but very, very precise. Martin flushes a deeper shade of pink, mumbles his thanks, and escapes, leaving the two of them alone, Liliana leaning on her cane and the other woman with a chartreuse program in one hand and a tape recorder in the other.

“I told you to leave me alone,” Liliana says flatly.

Gertrude Robinson—excuse her, Mrs. Smith—raises one perfectly groomed eyebrow. “I was planning on it. You approached me. Besides, I assumed if you weren’t at his winter concert, you would hardly be bothered to attend this one.”

It would be a cheap shot if it wasn’t the absolute truth, but Liliana decides to be offended anyway. “You thought I would miss my own son’s last performance?”

“It won’t be his last by any means,” Gertrude says pointedly. She removes the smoked glasses, revealing her eyes—were they always that intensely green?—that are the only thing recognizable on her heavily made-up face. “His last in London, perhaps. If he has any sense, he’ll stay away.”

Because she cannot cross her arms petulantly over her chest, and for that reason only, Liliana regrets bringing her cane. “And what is that supposed to mean?”

“I don’t think I need to tell you that, Liliana.” Gertrude’s eyes sharpen as she studies her. “You’re friends with Mary Keay—”

“That’s none of your business,” Liliana interrupts.

“I disagree, but nevertheless, that is hardly the point. You work at Pinhole Books. You know what is out there. Don’t lie to me. I tell you, I Know.” Gertrude purses her lips briefly. “You’re too close to Them.”

“That is also none of your business.”

This time, Gertrude ignores her. “Martin is a child. He is too young to decide to be bound to the Fourteen, and you have no right to make those promises for him until he’s able to make the decision—isn’t that why you refused to have him baptized despite your mother-in-law’s insistence?”

Anger flares in Liliana’s chest. “Have you been stalking me?”

“Keeping an eye on you,” Gertrude says frostily. “I have obeyed your expressly stated wishes and left you alone, but that does not mean I was prepared to leave you to face the Fourteen unguarded.”

“I’m not,” Liliana boasts. “I know what I’m doing.”

“Do you?” Static crackles on the air, and Liliana’s bones ache. She grips the head of the cane and presses her lips together as the feeling accelerates from gradual to rapid.

She’s come to think of it as the Hollowing. The sensation that her stomach has been removed with an ice cream scoop, that her bones have melted into paper straws, that her head could float away. Usually it’s the stomach first, then the skeletal system, and she can usually stop it before it goes to her head, but the effort of not answering the compulsion forces the marrow from her bones and leaves her weak and light. Martin had damn well better hurry up with the chair.

Gertrude looks suddenly contrite. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, then opens them and looks at her seriously. “Liliana. I am addressing you on a professional level, not a personal one. The path you are on is dangerous, and it will not lead you where you want. Step off it while you still can.”

Liliana almost wants to laugh and point out that she can barely walk, but she doesn’t. “I will take that under advisement, Archivist.”

Gertrude scans her face. “And if I said it was also on a personal level?”

Liliana smiles sweetly. “Then I would tell you where you can shove it, Mother.”

“Yes.” Gertrude sighs. “I rather thought that might be your response. Well. I can’t say I haven’t tried.”

“Oh, yes, you’ve tried so hard,” Liliana says sarcastically.

“What do you want from me, Liliana?” Gertrude demands. “You asked to be left alone. I complied. You cannot say now that I was never there for you if—”

“You weren’t there for me before I told you to leave me alone,” Liliana snaps. “You turned up in my life on my eleventh birthday, calling me daughter, telling me—”

“I would have told you why I left, if you had given me the option,” Gertrude says, and it’s obvious they’re related; if they have nothing else in common, their tones of voice are identical. “Telling you now would do no good, but whether you believe it or not, I have always tried to protect you. And if you will not accept it, then I will transfer that to my grandson.”

Liliana narrows her eyes. “You told him that, did you?”

“I have not,” Gertrude says, surprising her. “For the same reason I left you with your father. It’s safer for you both if no one knows of our…connection. There are people—things—that would try to use you against me.”

“Unsuccessfully, I’m sure.”

Gertrude lets out a soft bark of laughter with no humor in it. “It seems we have more in common than you like to believe, don’t we?”

“And what is that supposed to mean, exactly?”

“It means that if the furtherance of your goals comes at the cost of someone you care about—or claim to care about, at any rate—you won’t hesitate to make that sacrifice. If you can call it that, since a sacrifice does imply that the loss means something to you. I don’t believe for a second you think of Martin as anything other than a possession.”

“He’s talented,” Liliana shoots back. “If you’ve truly been watching us all this time, you know that. He has a gift for this kind of work.” She sneers. “What kind of mother would I be if I let him squander it on music?”

“The kind of mother who recognizes that he has other talents as well, and is choosing for himself which ones he wants to nurture. Which, as I understand it, is considered ‘a good parent’. Alastair understood that, which was why he took the raising of you. I don’t know that I could have made the right calls about your life back then, even if I had believed the things I fought—fight—against would have let either of you live if they had known that you were precious to me.” Gertrude straightens and slides the smoked glasses back onto her face. “Remember what I have said, Liliana. And if you know what’s best, let Martin go. I do love you, despite what you believe, but I will not hesitate to retaliate if you prevent him from choosing his own destiny.” With that, she strides out of the room, leaving Liliana shaking and seething.

Martin returns a minute later without a chair, apologetic and worried. He wisely doesn’t comment on Gertrude’s absence, instead offering Liliana his arm. At least he doesn’t offer to carry her. She concentrates on putting one foot in front of the other, on making it out of the school without passing out, and on making it through dinner without it being obvious that she is both hurting and angry. Martin notices, of course, and is full of contrition for having made her suffer just to see him perform.

Liliana surprises herself by telling him that it isn’t his fault at all.

Later that night, lying in bed beside her husband and in too much pain to sleep, she stares at the ceiling and broods. There are several ways she could prevent Martin from leaving without actually preventing him. Perhaps if she tells him about the talisman, tells him that she sacrificed her own strength for him and that it’s been extracting payment one drop of blood at a time—probably not the truth but one of the best explanations she can come up with—he might stay of his own free will. That she manipulated him is immaterial. Or maybe it won’t be and Gertrude will come after her. Mary laughs at her, but Liliana knows her well enough to know it’s a front, and that she’s actually deeply afraid of her.

Maybe what she should start with is getting rid of Gertrude Robinson. Then she can focus on keeping Martin close, and then she can get well, and finally have everything she’s always wanted.

She considers summoning Kieran to ask his opinion—and then doing the opposite of what he suggests—but decides against it. Not tonight, not with everyone sleeping. Perhaps Monday when Roger goes to work and Melanie and Martin have school. For tonight, she’ll have to be alone with her thoughts.

She could have worse company.

[insert-neologism]

INTRO Post YEAHG (ppl wanted this). this is LONG but there's a shorter version now!! exciting.

g e n e r a l stuff ig

(i have never made one so idk what to put here (it's way longer than i thigght though. sorry) but if u have any questions u can ask me everything! fr)

the names that i primarily go by here r mito n tomas (bc theyre the ones in my bio thing) but I have like a lot of names (bascially every word I like. more or less) so I guess u can just call me whatever??

I love music and I listen to almost EVERYTHING so it's hard to pin down a few artists. the ones i think r most underrated are flower face and aliceband though (if u ask i WILL make u a playlist. if u send me more music i will be happy). Idk i play guitar and I want to play drums which is hard bc I dont have any. also want to learn piano like this year

other than that i write pretty much (sb beta my stuff pls) oh and I have synesthesia which is fun Uhhh i love (over)interpreting things so there's a lot of that here and I csnt spell!! but I think thats obvious.

Im queer like in general

Im posting abt a lot of stuff, main interests (rn) are: tma/tmagp, starkid/sap, and yellowjackets. and discworld. we <3 discworld (sb ask me what my fav book is)

asks/dms r always open!! I love talking.

NOTE i wont be there as much the next 5 weeks, i think but u can still talk to me (pls do) ill just answer like a bit later

beneath that thing r my tags n projects it's rather long though i think. n this is long enough alr

t a g s

mitos incredible life - basically all of my original posts. whys it called that and not smth like 'my posts'? i dont fucking remember and id rlly like to know that too but im not gonna change it now. anyways it's everything from poetry stuff to edits to complaining etc

mine art tag - stuff i make, mostly edits and sometimes writing

spine - writing stuff im basically just putting somewhere when im on tumblr anyways and dont want to open the notes app. those are real life first drafts and not good

there r more i think but ig youll get them

p r o j e c t s

basically if ive planned smth for more than 1 day it's a project to me. If youre reading this I probably got multiple going on rn

the ones that are finished always have a like wrap post thingy

tag: tomas pulls thru

then I have a current wip status post which you can find here. like bascially what's finished alr and what's not n other stuff. (probably gonna forget this exists though so. might not be accurate I just love unnecessary complicated things).

tag: current wip status (if u dont wanna click the link or smth idek)

andd the post where the finished project r listed is heree

tag: project overview

IDK WHAT ELSE TO PUT HERE it will probably be updated. very sure but not the next few weeks bc as ive said i will be gone.

[radiosandrecordings]

I wrote a big long post, and I’m not quite sure what my point is and also it’s 2am so by the end it’s pretty much nonsensical but I just wanted to get some feelings out in words, it’s more of a For Me thing really but idk, someone else might feel similar so: 

Been thinking about Stuff recently and as I am want to do with every thought that rattles through my hollow little head, I’ve tried sifting it through a jmart lens. This originally came from a discussion I was having yesterday about how the fan base has changed a lot since jmart became canon, especially in terms of new people listening. But it was more in the context of it... I think there’s a tendency when people listen, specifically ones who came because they’ve seen fan art or they heard ‘omg canon gays!’ (It’s really becoming the new Night Vale and I have Thoughts on that but that’s for a separate post) to listen through the show as a means to get to them being ‘a canon couple’. 

And I suppose there’s a route I could go down here where I talk about how that’s kinda derisive to the show to treat this whole complex story as only a vehicle to get you to the concept of boys kissing, but to me it’s more like... I mean ‘fandoms’ as they are now, really do have a tendency to put an emphasis on romance as the main thing to be focused on, even in media where it isn’t found, that’s old hat. But I Don’t Like That. I mean, obviously I love romance stuff, I read as many fluffy jmart fics with 0 bearing on canon as the next person, I’ve been writing those since season 3 when we had no idea this was coming, when it was still ‘the dinghy’ to a lot of people.

But the whole kind of overview of it is reductive not just to the show but to other forms of relationships I think? Again this isn’t TMA exclusive, this is a common thing, I’m just filtering through one specific thing here. One of my favourite quotes from Jonny was from the S4 Q&A, when he was explaining why Daisy and Basira aren’t a romantic couple, which is a whole OTHER thing and people’s ignoring of his whole logic for that has made me kind of prickly against the ship now, but that’s another topic. Anyway, he says “So, with each relationship within the series there is a specific thing that I’m trying to explore. A specific dynamic that I feel is- is the core of the relationship in something that I am really interested in exploring.” And I adore seeing TMA through this lens. With each character Jon meets, trying to figure out what it is that their specific dynamic with him is supposed to convey. How the whole show is about how people interact with each other and that’s why to me when you boil Jon down to his only relationship being his romantic one is just feels off. 

Like I adore jmart, I truly do, and I get why they’re the most common. Romance is easy and fun to write about, and they’re the two main characters, they’re the ones we lock onto because we spend so much time with them. But if you sat me down and told me to make a list of my favourite dynamics in TMA, personally I would have them ranked third. I would rather talk about Jon and Georgie all day firstly, and then after that Jon and Gerry. Maybe there’s not as much to say for those two dynamics as their is for jmart due to the sheer amount of jmart interaction and content we have in canon, but I think the dynamics that are being explored there are more appealing to me personally to look at. 

Another thing is this notion that relationships only really start when they’re agreed upon to be a reciprocated romantic partnership, and I think that’s something often missed when people rush forward to get to S5 and see them act all coupley. This idea that their interactions only matter if they’re in service to a ship. I don’t think people ignore them interacting before that, but more that people have a tendency to hone in on the parts they think they can point at and go ‘See, see, that’s where he has a crush on him!’. As if their dynamic wasn’t interesting in itself before it became romantic, and only holds worth once they have feelings for each other in a romantic manner rather than simply caring about each other, or even how they might not care at the start. Like, if you are friends with someone for five years, and then get a crush on them for one year, and then start dating, you have had a relationship with this person for six years but the one year of your feelings being romantic doesn’t change the five years to be un-platonic, you were just friends then even if feelings came later. 

Side note -  Obviously the romance gives it obvious appeal and reason for acclaim because if you come to TMA from out of an audio drama sphere, you are likely starving for healthy gay content and so of course you want to focus on that bit of rep. But there’s better media for that, audio is full of it, just because TMA is the popular show doesn’t mean it’s what you’re looking for if you genuinely don’t like horror or the story it’s telling and are only there for the romance. You can shop around a bit until you find the story you want, I promise you it’s out there if you go looking.

Back from the side note - I think what I mean to say is. This is probably me venting my frustration at allonormativity a little in pushing romance as The Superior Dynamic and all other relationships a character has as side notes. Though obviously there’s the caveat that Martin is Jon’s most important relationship to him, hell he called him his reason! But maybe I’m just a little frustrated at their romance being treated as a crux of the show instead of one important thread in a whole woven tapestry of themes and relationships. Again this isn’t dunking on anyone for making fluffy content because I will be sitting here gobbling that up, it’s just more of a... Vent at the way relationships are viewed in general? A bit of a “Funny, you criticise the prioritising of romantic relationships over all other kinds but yet you partake in the writing of non-relevant fluff fics!” I know, but there’s absolutely a place for them because they’re Good I think I just feel like they shouldn’t be the overwhelm if that makes sense? Even some of the stuff I’ve said here now that I look back doesn’t even really apply to jmart specifically so it’s more just. throwing my thoughts at a wall and using jmart to understand some of it I guess. 

[jarchmarto]

Some Thoughts™️ I’ve been kicking around in my head for a while... (sorry if it’s not coherent)

I’ve been on Tumblr for a while now. I’ve seen the rise and fall of many fandoms. Been a part of those rises and falls, even. And, from what I’ve seen, it’s always the same - some piece of content gets wildly popular for a few years, people (whether they consume that content or not) get annoyed, and then that content becomes - drumroll please - cringy!

And I really hope that doesn’t happen with TMA.

I’m already seeing signs of it starting - small ones, but they’re there nonetheless. The joke about “everyone became a TMA blog overnight.” The fact that TMA is trending every time a new episode comes out. People making jokes about “I’m not in the TMA fandom, but I hope they’re doing alright.”

I’ve seen this before - SuperWhoLock, Homestuck, Undertale, Steven Universe - and I’ll see it again. And sure, there are valid reasons that people don’t like content. If you’re scrolling through your dash and all you see are posts from something you have not consumed or have no desire to, it can be annoying! Sometimes content is problematic and people are too swept up in the hype/too ignorant to recognize that! Sometimes the people who like the content are just so awful/annoying/whatever that the content becomes tarnished because of its fanbase.

But please, if this does happen with TMA, don’t be so quick to “cancel” it or whatever. Remember why you love it so much - the characters, the relationships, the story, the writing. It’s probably inspired you to make art! Or to write fanfic! Or to theorize about what’s gonna happen next! Or maybe you want to create the next most amazing audio drama!

Personally, I love TMA so much because as a writer myself, I am so thrilled to hear such a well-crafted story being presented to us. THIS ENTIRE GODDAMN SHOW WAS PLANNED OUT BEFORE JONNY WROTE IT. That shit takes COMMITMENT! It takes TIME! And it’s SO CREATIVE AND FRESH in a sea of underwhelming content! (Particularly the bad rep the horror genre has, from its treatment of women, POC, and LGBT+ characters to even just those shitty horror movies you watch only to make fun of). I never thought I would like horror, and now it’s one of my favorite genres to write in, all because of TMA.

And I also know that, even though Jonny and Alex have been warning us that this show will not have a happy ending, some people are clinging onto that hope. Trust me, I want to, too. But no matter how it ends up, some people are going to be upset, and that could very well contribute to TMA becoming “cringe.” They might say it’s “Bury Your Gays” if any of the LGBT+ characters end up dying (or something similar to death... again, personally, I think death is too... simple of an ending, for lack of a better word). Depending on what kinds of trauma the characters go through, some people might say that the way the story ends up erases that trauma. I’m sure there are other potential arguments that could come up, but those are the ones I’m thinking of off the top of my head because I know those are common things that people look out for because unfortunately, they are all too common. But, like I said earlier, Jonny has had this all planned out. He’s an EXCELLENT storyteller, and I’m sure he knows enough about the fanbase to know what would be satisfying for us. I know that not everyone will be happy with how it turns out, but look at what we have so far. We have PLENTY of canon LGBT+ characters, so even if some of them end up dying, that’s not Bury Your Gays. We’ve seen how different kinds of trauma have been handled, both for better AND for worse, and the times characters have handled their traumas poorly have been written that way intentionally to show that’s not how trauma should be handled. We have had consistent characterization and development of all of the core characters from the time they’ve been introduced, so no matter what ends up happening, I have faith that it won’t be for shock value - it’ll be the completion of those characters’ arcs and what they’ve been hurtling toward since the very first episode.

TL;DR, as we approach the end of TMA (the end of wildly popular pieces of content usually being when they start to be “assigned cringe by tumblr”), PLEASE remember why you love this show and how it’s helped you emotionally and artistically. It’s genuinely one of the most well-crafted pieces of media out there today, and I would be devestated if people start to hate on it as it draws to a close.

Also, this isn’t a call for people to debate with me. I’ve tried to be as uncontroversial as I could, but I know tumblr. I know if this post is seen by a lot of people, someone’s gonna get pissed over it. I’m not making this post to spark some controversy. If you want to reblog, please do, but if you don’t have anything beneficial to add, I will not interact.

[hartsgold]

𝐀𝐮𝐝𝐢𝐨. 𝐕𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐥𝐨. 𝐎𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐫.

𝚖𝚢 𝚗𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚌𝚕𝚊𝚞𝚍𝚎 𝚟𝚘𝚗 𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚐𝚊𝚗. 𝚒 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚒𝚛𝚘𝚜 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚝𝚞𝚝𝚎, 𝚏𝚘𝚍𝚕𝚊𝚗, 𝚊𝚗 𝚘𝚛𝚐𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚣𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚍𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚊𝚌𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚌 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚌𝚑 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚎𝚜𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚌 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚛𝚖𝚊𝚕. 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚝𝚞𝚝𝚎, 𝚛𝚑𝚎𝚊, 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚎𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚘𝚢𝚎𝚍 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚊𝚛𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚜𝚝, 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚙𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚢.

i’ve been working as a researcher at the institute for four years now, and am familiar with most of our significant contracts and projects. most reach dead ends, predictably enough, as incidents of the supernatural, such as they are - and i always emphasize there are very few genuine cases - tend to resist easy conclusions. when an investigation has gone as far as it can, it is transferred to the archives.

now, the institute was founded in 1818, which means that the archive contains almost 200 years of case files at this point. combine that with the fact that most of the institute prefers the ivory tower of pure academia to the complicated work of dealing with statements or recent experiences and you have the recipe for an impeccably organized library and an absolute mess of an archive. this isn’t necessarily a problem - modern filing and indexing systems are a real wonder, and all it would need is a half-decent archivist to keep it in order. my predecessor was apparently not that archivist.

from where I am sitting, i can see thousands of files. many spread loosely around the place, others crushed into unmarked boxes. a few have dates on them or helpful labels such as 86-91 G/H. not only that, but most of these appear to be handwritten or produced on a typewriter with no accompanying digital or audio versions of any sort. in fact, i believe the first computer to ever enter this room is the laptop that i brought in today. more importantly, it seems as though little of the actual investigations have been stored in the archives, so the only thing in most of the files are the statements themselves.

it is going to take me a long, long time to organize this mess. i’ve managed to secure the services of several researchers to assist me. I plan to digitize the files as much as possible and record audio versions, though some will have to be on tape recorder, as my attempts to get them on my laptop have met with… significant audio distortions.

that’s probably enough time spent making my excuses for the state of this place, and i suppose we have to begin somewhere.

𝚊𝚞𝚍𝚒𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚢 𝚌𝚕𝚊𝚞𝚍𝚎 𝚟𝚘𝚗 𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚐𝚊𝚗, 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚊𝚛𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚟𝚒𝚜𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚒𝚛𝚘𝚜 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚝𝚞𝚝𝚎, 𝚏𝚘𝚍𝚕𝚊𝚗.

𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙩𝙨: photography / texture art / tma s01e01 blurb & transcription. 

Hello! If you’re reading this, welcome to the hell that is The Seiros Archives. I’m hoping to make this as comprehensive a series translation as possible without integrating too many spoilers/telling the stories of characters that aren’t mine (save Sothis and Rhea, who seemed lore-mandatory additions). For example, I don’t have a character to fulfill [Gertrude/the past Archivist’s] position, simply because I can’t think of one and would prefer not to kill anyone off that might want to use this as an AU base. (Feel free to, btw! Just let me know/tag me in your verse thoughts, I’m so excited to read ‘em!) 

Spoilers below. Additionally: please peruse the Wiki pages with caution. There’s a trigger list for TMA episodes/general content warnings located here. 

Essentially: 

The Seiros Archives is an institution that’s existed for two centuries, currently under the jurisdiction of one Rhea, who claims to have come into control of it within the last decade or so. Obviously, this is not true. Rhea’s been alive since the founding of this institute, as she had it built order to resurrect Sothis/The Beginning/The Beholding, [her mother]. 

Sothis is both a God and not. In TMA, Gods are also known as ‘The Entities’, or The Fears. They are described, on the wiki, as such: 

The Entities are various aspects of an amorphous force of fear that exists next to reality. Their influence upon reality manifests as supernatural happenings - all supernatural phenomena in the world are simply extensions of them. These phenomena can take various forms such as people, animals, monsters, books, objects, or places.These entities do not simply feed off of our fear, rather they are our fears made manifest. “These things... these forces, they are our fear. Deep fears. Primordial. Always looking for ways to grow and spread.” Not all their actions inspire fear, they are simply a part of the process, a means to an end. (cont. This link includes a list of the Fears and should be read with caution, as there is some horror imagery, etc.)

In this verse, I’m going to conflate Sothis with The Eye, or The Ceaseless Watcher. She is an Entity of Fear manifested specifically as “being watched, exposed, followed, of having secrets known, but also the drive to know and understand, even if your discoveries might destroy you. Fear that you’re suffering for the sake of something watching.” I think her relationship with being able to control the flow of time and know results of the past and future translate well here. It’s terrifying to consider someone who Knows what might happen in the far future can directly alter it as well. 

Let’s say that Sothis’ “death” in this verse was a failed “Ritual” of The Eye. Centuries ago, Rhea attempted to bring her mother’s Entity to full power above all the others. 

Rituals are ceremonies held in order to empower The Entities. “Most entities have their own ‘ritual’, a symbolic act that, if completed, will allow the entity to merge with reality, changing the fabric of the world as it exert its will and nature upon reality. These rituals have the potential to bring other closely-tied entities along with it. It requires centuries for each Entity to build up the power needed for its ritual, and if it is stopped, it cannot try again until it rebuilds that power base. No ritual has ever succeeded” (x). 

When Rhea’s Ritual for The Eye was thwarted, the Entity lost a great sum of its garnered power. I imagine she was an Avatar of the fear, and her connection with her mother was severed to an extent. As a result, she began to construct the Seiros Institute as a means of rebuilding power for the sake of The Eye. 

Avatars are essentially vessels for spreading the influence of The Entities. “Some humans can become attached to an Entity and become empowered by it, gaining supernatural abilities related to their patron, but losing some or all of their humanity in the process. Most people fall to the powers through love or fear, though it can happen for other reasons such as debt. Avatars and agents of a power retain their agency but can become physically dependent on it, suffering withdrawal effects, including death, if they go too long without feeding the entity that empowers them” (x). 

People influenced by, or who encounter Avatars are often Marked by them, and other Entities alongside their Avatars can sense this fact.

In building The Seiros Institute, Rhea hopes to give Sothis enough power through a ritual to “merge with reality”/live again/to be able to communicate with her once more. 

The former hired Archivist stopped countless Rituals of The Entities, and was eventually killed as a result of attempting to quell Rhea’s efforts.

There are tunnels underneath the institute in canon, which I’m going to say is the equivalent of the Holy Tomb. 

Characters, once employed by The Institute, are unable to quit/be fired. Literally. This is a canon mechanic, where they can’t even say the words. 

TL;DR: This is set in a modern Fódlan. I imagine it as something of a large city interconnected with several other neighboring states, such as Almyra, Brigid, Dagda, etc. 

Are there tense relations between these places? Of course! Is The Empire probably allied with a different Entity and is aggravated that Rhea is doing what she’s doing? Very likely! Are Those Who Slither In The Dark likely allied with one as well, or are experimenting on people in the attempt to complete a Ritual? Why Not! 

The Entities create very viciously real manifestations of their respective fears, so people have supernatural encounters of all kinds. Vampires––weird lore, but yes. People being replaced by doppelgängers––Oh, Yeah. Circus people who steal voice boxes and dance around with mannequin limbs? Uh huh. Worms? Don’t forget the worms. As weird as you can think of it! 

So this modern Fódlan is rife with the eccentric and the supernatural. At the moment, The Seiros Institute is simply an academic place set on recording and understanding those supernatural occurrences! 

I’m setting Khalid as the current archivist because he seems the appropriate “linchpin” figure that Jon is in the main series, having been marked by several Entities. As the most knowledge and balance-hungry of the Three Lords, he fits the part. Obviously there’s something to be said of Byleth’s potential role as an Archivist, but the Archivist does a lot of talking, much like Khalid. He also interacts with everyone giving statements to the Archive, and I think Khalid’s canonical tendency to disarm others in exchange for secrets and stories is par for this course. 

Nonetheless, if you do want to use this AU as a base for your Byleth or any other character, please don’t feel restricted by anything! 

Whether your characters are employed by the Archive, is an Avatar for a Fear, or is simply terrified by whatever the fuck is going on here, please feel free to get in on this! Write it with me! Ask me any questions you might have and I’ll do my best to spoil myself on this wonderful podcast further so I can answer you to the best of my ability! [I’m about 75 episodes in right now, but am content to spoil myself, truly...] So please hit me up anytime. I’m really excited about this and would love to plot things out with you! 

[teruthecreator]

smile for me characters put with the tma entities i think fit their character the most (even tho i’ve never listened to a second of tma and got all of my current knowledge from my girlfriend, who also got me into sfm)

I’m mostly gonna be focusing on the adults and important charas because the idea of labeling any child as The Slaughter or The End feels vastly Yikes to me

also spoiler warning for tma (if i manage to include any) and just a general trigger warning for talk about all sorts of fears (fear of the dark, spiders, body horror, etc.) if tma-talk has ever made you feel uncomfortable (as it has me, and is completely valid) then just breeze on past this post, folks. 

dr. habit: The Spiral FOR SURE!!!!! i know with all the teeth-pulling and body horror-type stuff he’d be more fitting for the flesh but just Think About It. the way he acts?? the way he depicts himself in the art all across the Habitat?? how he is specifically pumping gas into the air that like alters your mind and blurs your vision?? the psa’s?? i know he never talks about doors, but it just feels very michael spiral to me!!! or is it called the distortion??? idk but he’s spiralin! (also i’d say his proportions already feel spiral-esque so you might as well lean into the madness babey!!) 

kamal: THE LONELYYYYYY. this guy SAD. he literally sits in a locked rooftop balcony space for like 75% of the game. and the first sprite you see of him is just him curled up on the bench. that’s lonely vibes right there, no doubt! also, i’ve seen people draw like, concepts for his collage head (since you can’t get him in the collage ending) and they’ve drawn it as a cloud. clouds??? all that fog, vape-juice in the lonely??? it fits!! 

flower kid: honestly, because their character is left so purposely-blank, it’s kinda hard to say. but for most like, ambiguous main charas i’d say their vibe leans closest to The Eye. not because flower kid in any way seems to have a desire to know all, but as the vessel for the player there is a sort of push to know everything. also, flower kid just ends up getting everyone’s traumatic backstories/personal problems anyway?? which if they were aligned with the eye, that’s like...what it’s all about! 

wallus: The Stranger. i can’t really justify this one other than he just stays in the wall the entire time without ever bothering to know who’s speaking to him through the hole, and idk that feels...stranger to me. i just realized how hard this list is going to be. 

parsley: The Flesh. idk i just think about, like, the meat aspect of it??? and the fact that parsley never gets a real meal and will eat just about anything??? that’s all i can say

trencil: The Vast is, like, the closest i feel like i can get to “the fear that your daughter doesn’t love you and will never love you because you’re a centuries-old vampire and she’s a 13-year-old girl”. like the sort of insignificance to that is vast-like 

jimothan: The Hunt. i think about jimothan becoming a big dog and i think “yes, this feels right”. this is my only explanation. 

tiff: The Web. i’m saying this because her quest seems entirely based around getting herself out of manipulation (not that a contract is manipulating, it’s just the closest connection i can make with my brain running at low-battery), and also because i think the spider aesthetic would like Hella Nice with her style and sprite. i would like one cool singing spider lady, please! 

borbra: The Buried. maybe this isn’t a grouping of her, more-so of her bird that literally burrows into the ground the second you get near it and was the bane of my existence for over twenty-five minutes when i played through the game myself. that irritating need to claw my skin off when i was trying to catch that bird is the exact feeling i’d have if i was trapped in a small space, and i’m saying borbra did that to me. 

lulia: The Lonely, of course! without a doubt! look at how sad her sprite is! and how often she bemoans being alone! need i say more! this is correct! yes! it is! 

jerafina: The Vast??? maybe??? she seems like she’s too busy being out for a good time to be worried about her place on the planet, but idk i feel like she’s hiding something under that carefree facade and my gut is saying It’s This

questionette: The Spiral. i do not understand her and i don’t think she wants me to. you get it, spiral lady. 

marv: The Dark. water can get deep and dark, and he seems to not mind that one bit! also you need to get the security cam to be dark in order to get his fish, which feels pretty much like an admittance to this entity! 

mirphy: The Eye, only because i feel like as a photographer she’s gonna see All anyway, so might as well give the entity some extra knowing-snacks, yknow??? 

dallas: The Vast. his mid-game struggle with trying to find a muse and find someone who would enjoy his work sounds like an attempt to try and ground himself in reality, and that dissociation goes right to The Vast, my guy!!! yell heah!!

randy: The Corruption only because i feel like the pickle-scent gives me the same visceral reaction that i would if a bug was crawling on my skin, and he definitely doesn’t mind that at all if he doesn’t mind be permanently soaked in pickle juice. you do you, my man, but that’s why you’re gettin corrupted

gillis: i wanna sort of play off his toughness and say the slaughter, but it doesn’t feel right for the wholeness of his character, so i’m gonna go with The Dark. this one i can’t articulate why, but it just feels better than the slaughter so i’m going to go with it. 

this was very hard given i have only about a month and a half’s worth of knowledge of either of these franchises, and i’ve been staring at the tma entity wiki for the past 45 minutes. so please smash like, hit subscribe, comment with your favs, and i’ll see y’all next week