#this ep took it to a whole other level

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

Favorite Buddie Moments Per Episode: 7x4 Buck, Bothered and Bewildered (Part 1)

[spacedlexi]

i just think a "friended/romanced + saved + trust aj" violet does such a good job rounding out the plot and characters of S4 and i dont say that lightly

she walls people off out of fear just like S3 clem did and learned to grow out of through the compassion of others. feeling like she could have done more to save minnie being what initially makes her step up to lead, but her accepting her love for clem (and clem choosing to save her) is what leads to her Truly accepting the school and everyone inside it as her Home and gives her something to fight for ("i tried my damnedest not to care about either of you. and i still couldnt tell you why." "i know where youre coming from. after losing so many people, sometimes its easier to keep everyone at arms length." "and then you wonder why you fight so hard to stay alive. i dont wonder anymore."). this being the reasoning behind violets detachment from the school, as well as a negative home life impacting her idea of what a home even was. but together they turn ericson from a prison into the home theyve BOTH been looking for, renaming it together, and envisioning it for the future together. the two of them understand each other deeply, from what theyve lost to how its affected them and the poor ways theyve decided to react to it. but through their support of the other, they BOTH get to evolve into more relaxed and confident versions of themselves, who know Exactly what theyre fighting for

her troubled relationship with brody and getting to learn more about what happened with the twins/violets reaction to it and how she ultimately blames herself/brodys guilt about her part in it and how she misses violet. getting the chance to mend that relationship before its too late. the 3 of them becoming closer because of it. and getting to develop clems friendship with brody leads to a more impactful moment later in the basement

her relationship with tenn reflecting clems relationship with aj, in the way they both made the decision to look after their respective boys after their primary guardians died (ajs parents, tenns sisters). both of them can understand the responsibilities they have taken upon themselves, and how hard it can be to do right. the 4 of them become a tight knit group quickly. especially in EP2 as vi supports clem while tenn supports aj through the marlon fiasco

her confused relationship with minerva introducing interesting conflict both within her relationship with clem (who has her own personal conflict with minerva, which vi still ties into through her relationship with both minnie and tenn) and the over arching plot, which has themes of learning when to let someone go because they are no longer who they once were (clem and lilly "we were family once", mitch about ms martin "you get all caught up in who people used to be, and you cant deal with whats in front of you", violet about minnie "the real minnie? shes been gone this whole time and i have to stop mourning her")

having a saved violet on the boat expanding the conversation with minerva about her motivations with the delta. violet apologizing for never looking for her, minnie saying she knows she would have but that its too late now, so sure this is just the way things have to be. getting to hear minnie say "you can be rewarded, just like i am", giving us insight into her character. and clem getting the last word before she rams the door down, her and violet fighting minnie Together. and violet saves clems life, making the Choice to shoot minerva, which in and of itself is a huge moment for violets character in regards to her relationship with both minnie And clem

and aj shooting tenn on the bridge brings things full circle, by putting violet in the same position louis was in EP2, where aj has killed the most important person to her, in an effort to save her life, and now she must reckon with those feelings the same way louis had to about marlon. not so easy now is it violet? ("so youre mad, but sad" "can i be that for a while?" "yeah, its ok")

just... ough... violets whole character just fits into Everything so well, but in a way that elevates the characters and plots around her, while also developing her into her own

[muirneach]

well i dont see mash as a timeloop because it fundamentally just. is not one. BUT also i think the whole ‘theres 11 seasons and only 3 years of war’ thing is stupid as hell. one season does not necessarily one year. some episodes take place over a few hours, usually they take place over a few days, one episode takes place over a year, sometimes they skip some time in an episode. its never ending and repetitive in the sense that they do the same thing every day but time also does pass. also it’s never ending in the sense that they will never truly leave because it will impact the rest of their lives profoundly (which i think is more interesting to explore anyways). anyways even if every mash episode was one day that would only be 251 days which isnt even a whole year. so that line of reasoning is sooo annoying. people complain about the 11 seasons thing too much. like did you want them to hit s3 and throw up their hands and be like well i guess we wont do that anymore! no its a great show and people wanted more seasons obviously

[nozunhinged]

My Top 5 BL Kisses of Jan (& Feb) 24 + why

Okay, okayyyyy I'm doing this, no backing out. I offically accept that analyzing kisses takes up so much of my brainspace that I can write about it — so here it goes. I'M NOT HIDING ANYMORE BUT OWNING UP TO IT! (lol, chill)

Last year I complained that I didn't get a single perfect kiss since I started watching BL TV shows (until PhayaTharn turned up) and now we're not even a quarter into the new year and I already got FIVE I'm absolutely in AWE about!! FIVE!!

I don't know if it's the actors, directors or coaches who upped their game (probably all of them) but hot damn, all of these are beautiful.

And don't ask me why I'm into kiss-acting so much I have no fucking clue, my first guess is that it's an artform in itself to make this amazing, wonderful, intimate form of touching look as beautiful as it feels — bc let's be honest here, irl kissing rarely looks pretty no matter how great it is! So I think it's just dope when you can see this beauty translated on screen.

So I guess this is peak romance genre for me and with that being said, enough talking, lets get to the kissykissies!

5. TenPrem - Cooking Crush EP. 11

I have to be honest with you, I was a bit confused by the kissing in this show. The tippytoe kiss was cute as heck but we all saw how Off AND Gun awkwardly blinked because they probably had to stay like that for a looooong time. It took the whole magic out of the whole first-kiss-moment. Same with the forced in, reshot makeout-scenes. But the kiss in the kitchen? Looks like they FINALLY got to show what they got.

Ten gently pulling Prem closer, them smoothly moving against each other, Ten closing in even more, the slightly open-mouthed kiss with their lips perfectly caressing each other, Ten with a bit more force, Prem with a bit more heat resulting in the perfect mix...Loved it, mwah.

4. PromNont - Playboyy EP. 12

They are my one Playboyy-couple where I'm like "if they don't end up married and running Playboyy together, starting the revolution of well-payed, insured and safe sex workers I'm gonna riot" even though I know this show will not end nicely for ANYONE.

Anyways, this kiss. Holy smokes they had so many good scenes but this one took the cake. Not just the sheer length of it (but still with perfect timing and breaks).

The slightest suck on Nonts upper lip, Prem literally making Nont sway, Nonts hidden desperation for Prom surfacing from his lips, them slowly but surely turning up the heat and last but not least, Prom grabbing Nonts face just to lean against him...UGH THEM!

(I made those)

3. Myungha & Yeowoon - Love for Love's Sake EP 8

I know I'm not alone in how this show swept me off my feet and hit me right in the feels. But I've gotta say, this kiss hit completely different. Again they kissed for so long but not a single moment felt wasted. It felt like their whole story put in a single kiss. And — I mean that in the most loving and positive way possible — they kissed so amazingly gay. Do you know what I mean?!

There's just this level of love, care and happiness that only queer couples can convey. Sprinkled with a hint of tongue (I saw that Yeowoon 👀) — they absolutely nailed it.

2. AlanJeff - Pit Babe EP. 11

The kiss that made me consider doing this post in the first place. I saw them and shouted THIS IS PERFECT just to realize that I did this a few weeks ago already and it made me spiral a little. In the best way possible because I felt truly blessed once again to have discovered the genre of BL in their golden era!

Because this right here is how you nail an open mouthed kiss my friends. Take notes BL producers. Put this in your textbooks! They both go at the same rythm (slow, careful but so, so loving JUST LIKE THEIR RELATIONSHIP UGH) and same level of touch so their lips caress each other perfectly. Furthermore, Alan knows exactly how to meet Jeff which is also a PERFECT EXTENSION OF HIS CHARACTER! Alan leads, Jeff follows but they meet perfectly and equally. TEN OUT OF TEN NO NOTES!

1. PhayaTharn - The Sign EP. 9

I don't understand the meaning of the "Roman Empire"-thing but I think if I say they are mine, I am correct because they will be the end of me and that's what that means right? I may be biased AF but objectively speaking, this is just an insanely well acted-out scene, PERIOD! And we all know it's thanks to Billybabes out-of-this-world-chemistry!

Phayas desperation translated into this gorgeous lip-clash, so much yearning but softness at the same time but what really got to me was how Tharn immediately melted after their lips touched, how he immediately opened up to him and got completely overwhelmed by Phayas feelings. Chapeau to Babe for showing so much range in a single second. My favorite kiss of the whole series ❤️

I also just realized all these kisses have one thing in common....hands on faces lol.

Well that was fun peeps, thanks if you made it until the end!

[seventh-fantasy]

top 5 dihua moments

HELLO ohhh goddd if i really really really have to pick... I'LL TRY (in tears)

in chronological order of the episodes:

(1) “你这个人最大的弱点就是喜欢当英雄。一个剑客不该有弱点。” your greatest weakness is that you like being a hero. a swordsman should be without weaknesses. (ep 1)

i'm as in love with the entire donghai scene as much as the next person but this dialogue is particularly special to me. so it was the first one i pinned down for this list. no hesitation. :)

it's a cornerstone of dihua's relationship; the thesis of lxy/llh's and their joint narrative. it prompts the deconstruction of the staple wuxia ideas of 侠 xia and heroism - which is what i really love lhl for. and dfs being the one to deliver this incredibly crucial and significant line is 10/10. he knew lxy even better than lxy did. he is the bearer and catalyst of lhl's story, lxy/llh's story.

"your greatest weakness is that you like being a hero. a swordsman should be without weaknesses." so what does it even mean to be a hero. is it more important to be a hero than being human. and i will become human. i am human and always have been. and i have weaknesses - i cannot win against fate, i am dying. but what ever is even wrong with being weak? being human is to have weaknesses. so i guess it's no wonder for the narrative to come in a full circle with dfs coming in possession of a weakness and be trapped in it. no longer the killer of di fortress. he's just a human being.

and llh bringing this up again in ep 11 feels to me that he had been carrying these words with him over the past 10 years. bicha and the battle have transformed him physically. but i like to think that dfs's words had an important role to play in an even deeper level of change.

all it took was this one scene to sell to me that this would probably be the kind of narrative i love.

(2) reunion in the woods (ep 8)

it's just so fucking good like literally every dihua scene. who doesn't love a good post-divorce first meeting scene. there's just a lot to chew on. most of all, llh just had to keep reminding dfs how well he knew dfs. we know the moon has always been this bright, alright. AND they were threatening each other. very sexy of them.

(3) whatever the heck was going between them in cailianzhuang arc (ep 11)

truly nothing brings out old married couple + parents vibes better than an inquisitive boy accusing you two of being up to something secretive behind his back. both their guilty expressions. :3 also dfs being the first person huahua goes to when he doesn't want to be alone. huahua being exceptionally chatty around dfs and dfs has no problem entertaining him. :3 they're totally on the same wavelength without having to say anything to each other and this arc brings it out so well.

(4) 腊月二十七 donghai anniversary wedding night (ep 38)

this is the last one i came up for the list after fighting a whole war in my mind over which 5 of the 100000 beloved scenes to pick. hate being predictable but. you just HAVE to give it to it. how do you NOT pick this for a top 5. all the 10 million other top 5 dihua scenes just had to make space for the anniversary scene. :'(

if i had to be even more specific, i think the scene of them in bed most likely takes the cake for me. llh literally saved dfs's life and helped him to become the stronger person he has always wanted to be. and perhaps no other moment exhibits the complementary yin and yang nature of their powers/energies in a more illustrative and palpable way. undershirts in bed just hits different from being fully clothed and one person literally having to keep the other person alive by touch...and this time it's llh for dfs despite the whole time it's dfs who was dedicated to keep llh alive. they have no lack of scenes that exhibit how in sync they are intellectually, and this is peak physical intimacy and tenderness, added with a brush with death/mortality yeah...

(5) llh/lxy's farewell to dfs (ep 40)

playing cheat here by combining two different moments :) but they are essentially connected. llh/lxy had to leave. and since it really had to be that way, i'm glad dfs was on his mind until the very end. what more can one ask for. there is really nothing more dear and tender in the world to be thought of

-

tl;dr: /blows kisses to every dihua moment

[jinnie-ret]

ep.5: the honeymoons

ratings: fluff, some angst

warnings: none

running time: 1.6k words

summary: we see the first batch of couples go on their honeymoons. is love still in the air?

SKZ MAFS EPISODE LIST

MAIN MASTERLIST

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chan and rori

location: budapest

"I've always wanted to travel," Rori grinned, feeling peaceful as she gazed across the city, night lights twinkling and night life buzzing.

"You've not been around Europe before? I thought most brits would end up going around Europe because it's so convenient," Chan hummed in thought, his head resting on her shoulder as he hugged her from behind, arms wrapped around Rori's waist.

The two of them had grown close very quickly, already having taken things to the next level. Rori trusted him, and him, her.

"Well, South Korea was a chance I took and I love it. But when I had Oliver, it kind of threw a spanner in the works, so I didn't get the chance to," Rori stroked Chan's hands that involuntarily hugged her tighter as he laughed.

"A good spanner though!" Chan giggled, making the silly comment as he remembered the cute kid that had definitely surprised him on his wedding day, but made him that more excited for their new adventure together.

The day had ended perfectly, after going around and seeing the sights, Hero's Square and Fisherman's Bastion, and now taking in the beautiful city. Of course, there were drunk people in their twenties stumbling down the street together, shouting the words to a song Rori was sure she would have recognised if it had been sung soberly. A piece of her wished maybe she could have had more time in those years, to be recklessx to have fun. She was worried she'd never have that feeling again. But Chan have that to her, he made her feel alive.

"I can't believe how lucky I've gotten, Chan is just so... he gives me butterflies. I can't remember the last time I felt that way," Rori tucked some of her ginger hair behind her ear.

jeongin and dallas

location: mt. fuji

Jeongin and Dallas had finally made it to Mountain Fuji, sharing stories to each other about things they had achieved in their lives and what they wanted to do in the future. Sweetly they had held each other's hands the whole journey there, that small sense of affection and comfort whilst getting to know each other bringing them closer together already. And even as they exited the car together, they never let go of each other, until Dallas was so excited at the gorgeous colours of the flower festival in the clearing of the mountain.

"Ahhh! It's gorgeous! Wow, I just wish we had this back home! This is stunning I can't cope!" Dallas squealed, leaning over the fence and trying to comprehend all the glorious hues of purple, lavender, lilac and magenta intertwining into something she thought she could only dream of.

"You're really excited aren't you?" Jeongin laughed fondly, his wife, yes, he couldn't believe it, his wife, making him happy, her excitement spreading so easily.

"Duh! This is likely my dream, my life," Dallas grinned in astonishment, dropping his hand to run forwards along other paths to take in the sights even more.

They had a great day, and of course got some cute photos with each other, marking the day an amazing one. It was certainly one of the best days of Dallas' life, and Jeongin enjoyed himself too, content in wandering around and taking in nature. Amongst the other things they had done during their honeymoon, this certainly topped it, so it was a shame the day came to a close with a slightly bitter feeling.

"You're so cute, Dallas," Jeongin chuckled from his spot in bed, stretched with his arm around her, cosily nestled in his arms.

"Me? Nah... I think you were the one who's head was in the clouds, wearing that grin all day. That smile will be the death of me, Yang Jeongin," Dallas exclaimed, hand lightly smacking his stomach to emphasise her point.

"If my head was in the clouds then yours was all over the place, haha, you were like an excited child, you remind of the kids I teach," Jeongin chuckled once more, hand going to stroke her hair out of her face but Dallas had already sat up.

"I'm going to make us some tea," Dallas kept a smile on her face and went into the kitchen, Jeongin being none the wiser about how his words had affected her.

"I don't get why he had to say that last bit... like I get it, I can be quite energetic, like I give a lot of energy into the things I love. But I've been told before that I remind people of a child and it feels sort of... patronising? I don't know... it just felt- it didn't feel nice. He's my husband, I shouldn't feel this way..." Dallas rambled as she explained to the camera away from Jeongin, reflecting on the day they had had.

Hopefully they'd be able to squash this in the future.

jisung and valentina

location: new york

"We had such a good day yesterday and now he's all closed off, he won't come out of bed. I thought we'd be doing more with our honeymoon, but, I guess not?" Valentina sighed as she spoke to the camera.

Jisung felt overwhelmed to say the least. He was tired from the flight to New York, but tried his best to keep his energy up during their first day going sightseeing. And everything seemed fine to Valentina. Oh, Valentina. Jisung really was trying his best, he suddenly felt this big responsibility. He had never been in a relationship before, and now he was someone's husband. He had a wife. He knew what he was getting into but he still likes having time to himself, and that was why he was relaxing in bed, scrolling through his phone, having down time like he normally would. But Valentina was there, trying to encourage him to go somewhere with her and do something.

"Ji, you wanna go out for dinner at least?" Valentina sighed, leaning against the kitchen counter in their hotel suite.

"I feel bad. I feel like I'm letting her down already. She's so amazing and, I feel worried that I'm not going to be the man she really needs," Jisung stammered, having his own moment to talk on his own.

But, he took a step and agreed in having dinner. They went to a luxurious restaurant, a top rated one that served mouthwatering gourmet burgers.

"Now this, I can get into this," Valentina let out a breath in delight. Not only was the burger looking delicious, but it gave a break from the sudden awkward small talk that her and Jisung had been contending with.

"I'm sorry," Jisung suddenly said, after swallowing down a mouthful of his burger. Miraculously, they had ordered the same thing, having similar tastes in their preferred cuisine and flavours.

"Hmm?" Valentina delicately wiped her mouth before speaking, "what for?" She had an inkling, but she wanted to hear from him first.

"I know you wanted more, I just, I'm quite a homebody? And I'm really trying to get used to this lifestyle, this..."

"Married life?"

"Not even that, just being able to spend time with someone constantly," Jisung glanced away, taking a sip of his cocktail.

"I'll be real with you, I was sort of upset at first, but I didn't know that about you yet. I didn't know you needed that space to yourself so, it's ok. We'll work through it together, ok?" Valentina reassured him once again, pushing away the thoughts she had before, and putting herself in his shoes.

She was a party animal at heart. She just had to bring out that more confident and energetic side to her husband, and she was willing to do that.

hyunjin and sienna

location: rome

"This all feels like a dream," Sienna marveled at the sights of Rome, swinging her arm with Hyunjin's as they wandered around the city.

"It's not a dream, baby, it's real," Hyunjin earnestly reminded her, pulling her in a different direction as they wandered around some markets, looking for a bite to eat.

"I never thought I'd get to live this," Sienna added on, still in denial.

"Well stop thinking that, ok? Seriously, I'm going to make sure you're happy every day," Hyunjin stopped in his tracks, gazing into her eyes before kissing her on the forehead.

Soon they found somewhere to eat, a quiet restaurant being decided when they couldn't pick from the market.

"Let's get spaghetti and meatballs," Hyunjin smirked, kicking Sienna's foot lightly underneath the table.

"Why so sly about food?" Sienna rose an eyebrow, her accent coming through stronger as she stared at her husband in confusion.

"No reason, just taking inspiration from a certain film..." Hyunjin nodded smugly to himself as he ordered them their food.

And once it arrived, it all clicked.

"Why only one plate... Hyunjin..." Sienna facepalmed, Hyunjin instantly bursting into giggles.

"Have you realised, baby?" Hyunjin cooed as he leant forward.

"We are not lady and the tramping this lunch," Sienna folded her arms, but she too started laughing as she couldn't resist his loving expression.

They exited the restaurant, a blush on Sienna's face after Hyunjin whispered something in her ear.

"He's so romantic. And I'm not used to that. I love it. Just maybe not the sharing food part. I need my own food," Sienna deadpanned into the camera, before huffing out a laugh.

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[spicyvampire]

Okay so after the whole Sakuna/Wansarut and Phaya/Tharn "characters description" fighter (protector)/healer+protector(mediator) post, now imma talk about about our resident Snake (PhD), Doctor Chalothorn being a fighter and well how do you convince a fighter to not fight?

I've already made a whole gifset about this but I needed to put the stuff into words cuz u just can't say everything in a gifset so this post is gonna be about a few things, first of all, the way Charlothorn's goals shifted in the last 2 episodes, from wanting to kill Phaya so he can have Tharn, to wanting to save Tharn and Phaya's end not really mattering anymore, and second of all Tharn's role in this shift and where have we saw something similar to this shift before aka Wansarut and Sakuna and how Wansarut even did that

Same disclaimer as the last one applies : pulling this out of my ass from watching the show, these are raw out-of-order thoughts, ill try my best to separate but like the last post because I'm going to have to go back and forth between Wansarut (love of my life, talking about Wansarut has to be my favorite activity rn), Sakuna, Tharn (smooching him smooching him), Phaya and Chalothorn this might get hard to follow but hey that's what it's like inside my brain so welcome to the mess

Putting it under keep reading

So like I said in the last post, Chalothorn is a fighter, like you can't get more fighter than this, the man is literally the prince/ruler of Nagas and he is right in the middle of the battle field anytime there is a fight to be had, and like I said in Sakuna's part of the post he is a level that can probably can only be rivaled by Sakuna's brother, you can't be a higher level of Naga fighter from what I understand, so like how do you fight this man if you are Wansarut and Sakuna? (ep. 8)

Keep in mind that : the answer is that they never were supposed to fight Chalothorn

SCENARIO 1 : Chalothorn wins

This is what we've seen in the show, Sakuna/Wansarut/Phaya/Tharn would never win against him in a fight because they just aren't strong enough to began with, Sakuna and his Garuda were not Chalothorn's level when he was alive, Wansarut is a healer/protector not a fighter, Phaya can only do ✨Sparkles✨ of Garuda powers as of rn and while Tharn can do some powerful protecting he is of the gang the person who is the less in contact with his past and magical self (other than for protecting Phaya magic, we have not even seen his Naga in this lifetime) and also his past self wasn't even a fighter, so it makes sense that Chalothorn just keep killing them and every single one of their reincarnations, he kills them so much that it was destroying his own soul (ep. 8) because surprise he is getting affected by the little cyclic karma thingy they got going on too, this isn't just about Wansarut/Sakuna and PhayaTharn, Chalothorn is trapped in this shit too

Clearly fighting is not the answer, because even if you win, which Chalothorn has been doing a lot of, you still lose, Chalothorn is losing control of his Naga form, not only does it destroy his soul (ep. 8) but he might just not be able to turn into his human form anymore aka would be forced to be a Naga forever (ep. 9)

Another lost of this is that he keeps losing Wansarut and having to wait for the cycle to start again so he would get another chance, like the level of psychological damage getting done to him because he kills the one he loves and he is always left behind alone to wait is enough to drive anybody insane (ep. 11)

And I think that's one of the reasons why it took him so long to understand that he should let Wansarut/Tharn go, because when you do something so despicable and keep doing it over and over again you have to justifies your bad actions to yourself so you don't break and the more you justifies them the harder it becomes to see clearly through them, so you just keep doing it, like Chalothorn probably hates himself more than he even hates Phaya or love Tharn at this point because he keeps killing reincarnations of Wansarut, like this is his reaction to killing Wansarut the first time, falling to his knees screaming and everything (ep. 8), the cognitive dissonance in that man's brain must be insane

SCENARIO 2 : Phaya wins

Now let's imagine for a second there that they did win, Phaya succeeded in killing Charlothorn, and then what? Isn't Charlothorn just gonna reincarnate and come back for them again? Like yes it might take some times but it will happen, and then Phaya and Tharn would be the one destroying their souls and making their karma worst, that's just not a solution

Also we saw with Narong's case part of the show that "victim turned attacker" is not the answer (anyways that's what the show says), when Tharn and Phaya are talking to the abbot at the end of episode 5 the abbot keep repeating that over and over again killing is not the answer

When Phaya Says "Those victims are left with no choice but to fight back in order to survive. They have to kill." The abbot answers "The basic code of moral conducts for human beings like us is the 5 precepts. One should be abstained from killing other living beings. These precepts can bring peace and happiness to your family and the society. Undertaking the 5 precepts will benefit not only yourself but also the people around you." Basically straight up telling them that [not killing] is the only answer that will bring peace to everyone

Also so many parallels can be made between Narong and Chalothorn (which is probably why it was easy for Chalothorn to possess Narong to attack Phaya but let's not get into that), because like isn't this Chalothorn? (ep. 5)

His mind is so clouded by anger and wanting to kill Phaya and getting Tharn that he is obsessed with it, he literally do not see anything else, specially if Phaya is in the room and/or mentioned, like I said a bit higher in this post, he hates Phaya, but he probably hates himself too, and so much hate and anger just blinds people

Also sidenote that I'm not really gonna dive into : How do you think Tharn would feel about Phaya killing Chalothorn, knowing what u know about him? like Tharn loves Chalothorn as a friend, and that's even if Chalothorn is responsible for all the bad things in his life (ep. 12)

Tharn may be looking at Chalothorn saying this but he said "Please stop killing each other." he could not be more clearly talking to both of them, he doesn't want Chalothorn to kill Phaya but he also doesn't want Phaya to kill Chalothorn

SCENARIO 3 : Tharn Wins

Now lemme say this, you can literally never convince a fighter by fighting him, like if you've ever had a fight/argument with someone you know that you cannot reach a compromise in the heat of the fight when everyone is angry and losing the control of their emotions, it just doesn't work, but what does work in the context of the show?

Wansarut and Sakuna

And now I'm back to Wansarut (<3<3<3<3<3<3) and Sakuna because well Wansarut did change a fighter's mind before already, this is part of Wansarut's power that's why I also describe Wansarut as a mediator, and what did Wansarut do exactly?

Well Wansarut healed Sakuna, even if he is from the enemy side, and took care of him and acted in a way that was protective of him, even if again Sakuna is an enemy of Wansarut's people (literally brother of the Garuda king) because that Wansarut's character, Wansarut is a healer/a protect/a mediator that's how Wansarut fights (ep. 8)

Then Wansarut tough Sakuna about Naga culture (Naga offering and breathing fire to pay respect to Buddha, on the 15th nigh of the 11th waxing moon)

And while being in love with each other did facilitate this change of view in Sakuna (which would later turn him a bit into a protector of Wansarut), you really do not need to be for this to work, like the best way to change people views on some things truly is just to expose them to the thing from the POV of the people living it, when nobody is in any immediate danger

And that is exactly how Tharn succeeded in convincing Chalothorn that the love between Phaya and him is good, by being there for Chalothorn and taking care of him, and being patient, until Chalothorn was ready to let him go on his own, not in the heat of of fight when everyone is angry and putting the blame on each other, which was again so healer/ protector/mediator of him like I talked about in my other post

Tharn and Chalothorn : the final

So with Wansarut and Sakuna we saw how Tharn could change Chalothorn's mind and what really does work, now imma dive into the last 2 episodes of this show aka the shift in Chalothorn

So in episode 6, Chalothorn says this

And at that time I think those words were true cuz that's literally what he has been doing isn't it? Like everytime he lost, both Wansarut and Sakuna's reincarnations died, so he was "okay" with killing Wansarut, as long as it meant that Sakuna was also dead and they weren't together (crazy way to fight cognitive dissonance if you ask me) but then something changed around episode 11 because Chalothorn started saving Tharn even if Phaya was still alive? (Ep. 11) (ep.12)

The importance of Chalothorn saving Tharn those 2 times, is that 1) now Tharn knows what the fuck is going on and 2) (like I said in the other post) Tharn end up understanding that Chalothorn can be talked too and reasoned with (the abbot would call it enlightenment), because in that 2nd saving he told Chalothorn to not kill Montee, and Chalothorn listened

Sidenote : Wansarut also did tell Chalothorn to not kill Sakuna and Chalothorn did listen that time too, like Wansarut has a BIG influence on this man (wish we saw their relationship before the mess), the only reason why the fight did continue was because Sakuna did not let Wansarut go

Why did he listen then? because he loves Wansarut, it really is as simple as that, and that's why he also listened to Tharn with Montee, because our chronically involuntary celibate man is head over dick for Tharn (valid and relatable)

So remember when I was talking about cognitive dissonance and stuff, well by ep 12, Chalothorn cannot justifies killing Tharn anymore, he is tired, he is turning into a Naga, and he cannot stand seeing another reincarnation of Wansarut die again, but most importantly he cannot stand to see Tharn die by his own hands

It's easy to concentrate on Phaya's distress in this scene but Chalothorn is in as much distress as Phaya, you can hear Chalothorn's voice break when Tharn is dying in both Phaya and his arms after asking them to stop killing each other, they are both screaming Tharn's name, and this time Chalothorn just listen because this is too much, his hatred for Phaya is just not important anymore, killing Phaya is just not as important anymore because anyways Tharn did choose him didn't he? isn't that what he wanted? even if Tharn clearly is in love with Phaya, Tharn did choose to come with him, so in a way none of this shit even fucking matters anymore

So for the 3rd time, he saves Tharn, this time by literally giving Tharn his soul so he would live (wish we saw him breaking down over Tharn dying in his arms in the Naga caves until he ended up giving Tharn his soul tbh), Chalothorn chooses to save a life instead of ending one and thus ending the curse on his part

[7nessasaryevils]

Things that made me scream during ep 5 of Wandee Goodday

- Dee can remember every single person's birthday but he hadn't memorized Yak's yet

- Yak pouting when he realized Dee didn't know his birthday

- YAK COUNTING THE FUCKING SECOND OF HOW LONG HE AND DEE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER (read: TOGETHER, not fucking/ FWB)

- that whole fucking interaction with Cher and Yei (yes babes! Complain that you haven't gotten fucked for a while you deserve to be dicked down!)

- Kao being the King he is and offering valuable suggestions for Dee and Yak on how to improve their lives (and sex lives) using his furry accessories ♥️

- Dee offering good fashion advice... sir thank you for your service in getting Yak out of those (delectable) elephant pants - but... Taem is probably better at putting him in clothes that work

- grammammamamamamamana I love her and she is now the communal granmama

- DICK PLUSH TOY (seriously where can I get one??)

- granmama knows

- STEPPING OVER THE LINE!!! THE GASP I GUSPED (also wandee my precious my baby protect your heart please yak is gonna be a little stupid I know it)

- brb screaming crying throwing up because NEITHER of them can sleep without holding each other

- the pouting, cuddling, "need you to recharge me" YORYAK!! GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR PERT ASS YOU DUMB JOCK! This is boyfriend level behaviour!

- Dee's smile as he curls into Yak 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

- the only time I screamed in rage: how dare you ask Dee if Taem would like while you hold motherfucking Wandee in your arm- I'm going to snap a boxer's neck (what did I say about yak doing something stupid?!)

- FUCKING WHEEZING GRANMAMA YOU ABSOLUTE QUEEN

- ... he took Yak to see his parents... I'm fine gwenchana gwenchana

- SJAXHWKZNKSJXNWKSW YORYAK YOU BUFFOON- don't you want to introduce your BOYFRIEND to your parents?! someone hold me back before I smack this idiot

- Cher doing the sneaky sneak and failing 🤣 also Yei not taking Cher with him because he knows his boyfie doesn't like the macho assholes 🥹♥️

- Yak dressing the way Dee told him to... fucking hell

- yak showing up to help his boyfriend thanks I wanna throw up

- Dr. Wandee using his and Yoryak's furry sex personas to help tell children a story was not on my 2024 bingo card 👀

- yak wanting to celebrate with Dee rather than his friends... this idiot

- I CAN EAT YOU WITHOUT WAITING- YORYAK PLEASE

- domestic food fight my beloved (also yak refusing to let Dee do anything cooking wise because he doesn't want to poison Granmama 🤣)

- I do so love an aptly placed song that perfectly explains the conflict of our main characters ♥️♥️

- sir. Yoryak. For someone who claims they like Taem, you sure do lean in to kiss Dee a lot 👀👀👀

- THAT CAPTION... gonna go yeet myself off their building thanks

-... couple toothbrushes... COUPLE TOOTHBRUSHES

- wandeeyoryak vs. Yoryakwandee... help me

This show is everything to me right now and I will hold onto it with my dying breath

[hoonphobe]

there’s so many points i need to make abt aot, eremika, and eremin omfg. i’m just gonna bullet point it.

the last two eps are probably the most in depth mikasa’s character has ever been. i’ve always disliked that her whole personality was pretty much being devoted to eren and that she’d only ever be seen as her own person in very small increments. like even when eren wasn’t present. her character had so much potential and it was kind of wasted. she deserved so much better like how is the fmc one of the least developed women in aot

i was never the biggest fan of eremika because imo they lacked a lot of vital chemistry needed for a relationship especially on eren’s side. eren cares for mikasa deeply but i could never see it being romantic. i feel like every “advancement” eren’s made towards mikasa some other outside force caused that. like armin having to tell eren that mikasa deserves better because she’s liked him for so long and he never returned those feelings idk it feels so forced

eren’s relationship with armin is MUCH deeper than the one he shares with mikasa and it’s shown in both the anime and the manga. him and armin have always connected on a deeper level because they share all their burdens, the same dreams, they completely understand eo better than anyone else. if eren ended up with anyone it should’ve been with armin.

i think eremika had potential. if eren had a deeper connection with mikasa like he did with armin it’d make sense why they’d end up together. i’m aware that everyone has different relationships with others and love presents itself in different ways, but eren has always been someone that wears his heart on his sleeve so i find it hard to believe that he’s never express himself to mikasa once even if it’s not directly. i feel like since mikasa loved eren so much they used that to imply that eren loved her the same way which is very cheap and lazy imo.

i feel like there was sm eremin erasure after eren’s death like they had a whole conversation abt how they’ll always be together even after death and yet the only person we see reunite with eren is mikasa. i have no problem with eremika reuniting at all, it makes sense since armin was the last of the trio to die, but not even showing them all reuniting is so sick

i understand the sweetness behind mikasa being the one to help eren forget abt the stress he has, but i think it’s more powerful that armin has always been someone to not help him forget but to support him through every hardship he encounters. aot is a series abt how eren took extremely drastic measures to achieve freedom for his friends and his people, he literally committed genocide, he needs someone blunt to tell him that the decision he made was utterly stupid, that although he did it for a greater cause he still did an act that’s truly unforgivable. armin was the only one who could truly resonate with eren in that aspect, the only one who could “forgive” him because eren did it all so that armin could achieve his dream after his had already shattered.

i understand that eren confessing that he didn’t want mikasa to end up with anyone else was meant to be used as a double kill if he likes mikasa and that he’s very vulnerable, but i just feel like it was very forced. armin using it to get eren to let out his true emotions made no sense to me like armin has never used mikasa to stir eren so i find it crazy that he’s use it the final time he’d ever speak to him

and yeah those are most of my opinions, you don’t have to agree with them or are they supposed to be taken as a fact because they’re not!

[bengiyo]

She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat 2 Eps 9-12 Stray Thoughts

Last time, Nomoto and her new online friend had a watch party and discussed the nature of asexuality and homosexuality coexisting, and Nomoto shared about being in love with Kasuga; I'm a big fan of Yako. The ladies managed to connect more with Nagumo, and we learned she has an eating disorder where she can't eat in front of strangers. However, she did make donuts with them and took some home. Kasuga also managed to sever ties with her father after thinking about it and talking with other women. She asked if Nomoto would support her, and of course she did. I will never stop thinking about the Chosen Family scene.

Episode 9

Yes, Yako, coach her. We cannot let them exit this season without talking through their feelings for each other.

I have never identified with a character more than Yako. I would also enjoy my food and wine while watching my friend sweat over the crush.

Yako backstory! It really is hard in your teens when you are deeply out of alignment with other queers about sex.

The power went out and Kasuga immediately went to check on Nomoto. You love to see it.

NOMOTO IS WEARING ONE OF KASUGA'S SWEATERS, AND KASUGA JUST PULLED LINT FROM HER HAIR. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

Thank you, Nagumo! It would be awkward as hell to sit in this zone of lesbian love and not know what stage we were on!

We have verbal confirmation that Kasuga likes Nomoto! Nagumo, you are our champion! You have to get these two to the next level!!

Currently dwelling on Kasuga not lying when asked directly about her feelings. There's a difference between being out and letting people in, and I like that Kasuga told her truth to Nagumo.

Episode 10

Their project manager is at least being upfront with them that they're being asked to rebuild the entire app.

Sorry, Kasuga, but it's not often we escape compulsory heterosexuality and still have a positive interaction in a sales environment like this.

Nagumo, I love you. You have finally given us a reason to have Kasuga voice her thoughts aloud.

This show really said plainly that the presumption of heteronormativity hurts and upsets people who don't fit that mold.

I really love this show detailing how harrowing pining is when you don't know if the other person is queer and the relationship you've built means so much to you.

Episode 11

Episode 21, you aired on Valentine's Day. Please don't let me down.

This former Valentine's Day and White Day gifting tradition sounds tedious as hell.

I didn't expect Kasuga's family troubles to end with that one phone call, and here goes the aunt downplaying Kasuga's feelings and bulldozing over her expressed boundaries.

Okay, Mikami! Way to come through for my girls!!

I wanna have hotpot so bad right now.

I'm so nervous about these chocolates!!

Damn, this cake looks good. I like putting the whipped cream on the side.

Kasuga picked out different chocolates! I'm so proud of her!

Now, Kasuga, why would you go and crush me like that on Valentine's Day? I know why you need to move, but goddamn.

Episode 12

Invoices for raising her? Vile.

Queers apologizing for being selfish when they confess will never not make me cry.

I'm sorry I got a bit testy at the dramatic cliffhanger, Kasuga. You came through for me exactly the way I hoped. Y'all should definitely find a bigger place together and stay in touch with Nagumo.

"I am very delighted and also taken aback." She's like me and I love her.

Aww that was so beautiful, and she's still crying.

I'm so glad she told Sayama immediately. We stay winning.

Man, I just watched I Only Want to See You, and I'm feeling the same difficulty in the transition from friendship to romance in the relationship.

Yes, ladies, thank you for talking through telling others and reaffirming that this is definitely a romance. Let's make sure no one, especially the audience, misunderstands.

I love how Nomoto bursts into tears when she swoons.

Oh snap the whole squad is going to meet Yako next week!!!

We did it, y'all! We got to see them confess their feelings and start dating. I'm so looking forward to seeing their relationship grow and mature, and I'm actually looking forward to the move and the attendant drama that brings. I hope Nagumo doesn't end up thinking that asking about their relationship somehow cost her the relationship she's been building with them. This was an excellent week of episodes.

Big thanks to @furritsubs for making this possible.

[morkofday]

i find it so ironic how after becoming blind or, simply, disabled, day also turns invisible. suddenly, he's just not there, like it's not he who cannot see but he who cannot be seen.

ppl don't really talk to him, don't address him, barely give him any choices of his own. they talk over him and past him and around him, about him, surely, but not to him. it's like he's not there. he's this huge responsibility, but he's no longer a person. he's left to places like a dog or an object to wait for others to do all the things for him, and then he's just expected to agree with their plans. the same plans that still affect him and his life and future.

no wonder he's so angry and fed up with everybody. he wants to speak for himself. he wants to be heard and seen again. he used to enjoy having eyes on him – as a national athlete, there obviously were many (admiring, evaluating, assessing) eyes on him, and he liked the spotlight. he's obviously very proud of his own accomplishments and it must be frustrating to be suddenly reduced into nothing. like what he did never mattered. like who he is never mattered.

he is just this now. his blindness. someone who can be overlooked bc he cannot see it anyway. he's not far from being dead, as he puts it himself.

-

meanwhile, mork experiences the brutality of being abandoned over and over again. that's his wound. when his sister leaves, the pain gets the loudest, but even outside of that, he's hearing the same thing over and over again.

from what we got to know, no one ever really learned why exactly rung decided to kill herself. i assume it was the guilt over feeling like she failed mork, like she brought him more peril than was worth living for (debt?). she obviously wanted mork to have a good future, but i guess none of her actions ever translated to mork in that way.

to him, rung left after deciding that mork just wasn't worth it. she took "the easy way out" after realizing that fighting beside mork and tolerating his behavior just weren't worth the effort. mork really wasn't making the best choices, but i don't think he was ever "beyond saving". mork just thinks this is how it all went.

and then he keeps hearing the same thing from others:

after being in jail, his friends abandon him even if he took part in that fight for them. he wasn't enough for them to stick around (not that they were actually that good company, but he knew them, spent time with them, relied on them on some level)

porjai broke up with him bc mork was prioritizing his friends over his girlfriend. which porjai points out humorously, as is part of their friendship as exes, but which lands as a stab anyway. "you weren't enough as you are," it says. "you should've done better to not have me leave you."

no one wants mork to work for them bc all they can see is his past mistakes and not him trying to presently correct them. his skills aren't enough to overshadow what he did. him trying to be better cannot erase those mistakes he already made. "you should've been better to begin with," it says. "there's nothing you can do to change that now."

-

ppl keep turning their backs on mork, leaving him behind, labeling him unworthy or simply not good enough. even day's family does this, looking at him once and going, "you obviously do not belong here."

day disagrees. on some level at least, he disagrees. bc mork actually sees him. after all this time, someone actually sees him again.

meanwhile, well. we had that whole montage at the end of the episode to tell us how badly mork wishes to believe that someone is finally giving him a chance to prove he isn't a lost cause, that he is worth something.

-

my expectations for the second ep are that these two are going to learn just how bad it actually feels when someone is able to see you and how hard you will have to work to prove yourself to those who barely wish to listen.

[dangermousie]

Farscape rewatch 2x04: Crackers Don’t Matter

One of my favorite eps and the most quoted one in the Mousie household.

You know what I am struck by, this time? How crazily Farscape works. I am faced with the next to last scenes of this ep: John with green face-make-up, shiny cover, attacking a bug-looking alien with a sword as it gibbers, screaming 'humans are superior' and marvelling at the fact that somehow, it all works. How crazy is it? It works, works brilliantly. Farscape took some odd risks, some strange choices, but IMO, they almost always worked out.

 And the way the humor (and this episode is bona fide hilarious) can coexist with cruelty and darkness because the ways the Moyans turn on each other is just vicious and what makes it horrible is that it’s their darkest ids, worst selves exposed - so it is them, even if the worst version of them.

And they have to live with it, with all the stuff they said and did, no easy solutions...

This is long and cap-heavy so behind read more...

I am also struck by how tight the writing is. It's obviously an organic show: it didn't have every plot detail worked out years in advance. But when things come up, they get so incorporated for later, they get brought up again, it all just fits. Just think of the little throw-away comment by Maldis in S1 that John lost his virginity to Karen Shaw, and how it comes to play in Kansas in S4. Why am I thinking of this for this ep? It's the fact that here is Harvey (his very first appearance), telling John that revenge is a dish best served cold, his whole attitude, his whole statement is so in line with the whole late S3 ep 'Revenging Angel' which echoes it so well. In RA Harvey fails to understand what makes John tick, what makes him stay alive: he is limited by his creator Scorpius. He fails to realize that what keeps John alive is hope and that for John, Aeryn is hope. (That is why chip!John in Scorpy's head in Incubator is so intractable, so final: he is post-loss-of-Aeryn, he really has nothing). What Scorpy fails in (and by extension Harvey) is to understand John on a very basic level: they don't really fit, like two odd pieces of a puzzle. Grayza of course makes the same mistake on Arnessk. It's going to sound corny, but Scorpy fails to understand goodness (not surprising considering his upbringing) while John has one-up on his opponent because he understands evil, because his face has been rubbed into it until it's raw.

I kept thinking, why is John the least affected by Traltixx in this ep? I am sure the eyesight has something to do with it (I love how Farscape turns on its head the old trope of humans being saviors because they are better. Crichton is 'better' because he is handicapped, because he doesn't see so well). But I think there are other issues here: for one thing, Crichton is a researcher, someone who must be analytical by nature. More importantly, he is attuned to oddness not just because of his post-Scorpy paranoia but because he is a stranger in a strange land, sensitized. And the thing is, just as with the chip later - knowing something is off is different from being able to put breaks on it. He periodically, alone among the rest of them, realizes something is wrong with his behavior but he is unable to truly stop it - the ugliness and the violence just come pouring out; the only concession to control is that he doesn’t kill anyone. The crew is horrifically ugly to each other in this one, but the ep is also mind-blowingly hilarious. Not like Out of their Minds, which is just plain funny. This one is funny with a hell of a sting. Some pretty bad things are said. I am struck not even as much by the Aeryn-John showdown (they know each other the best, so they really know where to hurt. Though I am still wondering how you can be both frigid and a skank :)) but I think it's because Aeryn and John cause each other such universes of pain, exactly when they are not trying to, but only trying to protect themselves or even do what is best for the other, that this is small fry. What is a little exchange of gunfire and a hit at Aeryn's being a traitor or John not measuring up to his father in comparison with Die Me Dichotomy or the coin toss or so much of late S3 or S4? Still, ouch ouch ouch.

What I am really struck by are other interactions: D'Argo with Rygel, flopping the little guy around like...well, a puppet, force-feeding him crackers. It's ugly. We haven't seen D'Argo attack a helpless being since DNA Mad Scientist, and we've forgotten, and it hurts. Though it does show a difference: here it's Traltixx doing an equivalent of drugging him. The inner savage is much further from the surface. The crew from early S1 would have succumbed to Traltixx in ten minutes flat.

 And keeping with the fact that actions always have consequences, there is no magic forgiveness at the end (though also like Farscape, there is hope of one later.)

And Crichton with Chiana. It's an unnerving scene, horrible to watch, precisely because normally John is so protective of her, because for Chiana, John is in many ways her safe harbor, her surrogate big brother, someone who she would always feel safe in the area of sex with (i.e. he won't, with her). But he turns that protection on its head, something ugly (though luckily, a bunch of the horrible stuff comes from Harvey, not John, so she doesn't hear it). 

 Yikes.

Pretty telling tho that even messed with by Traltixx, any sexual threat is not from John but is suggestion of the chip, which is doing whatever to get Crichton to kill his shipmates so he’d be easier to capture. John himself is horrifyingly cruel but does not see Chiana this way at all.

The idea he ends up liking is tying her up next to the rest of them so he could try to talk without everyone shooting each other, not anything else and thank GOD.

This is such a reversal of his attitude in Taking the Stone so I think it's interesting that the attitudes in here and TtS are juxtaposed (in TtS Crichton is losing it a bit, slowly, but it makes him more protective, not less. That is the natural 'insane' Crichton, not the one where someone took over and brought out the darkest id; when he is himself, however utterly mad and irrational, he is never wantonly cruel to his loved ones.) And then of course, later, when he is back to sanity and tries to apologize, she blows it off, acts impressed. Chiana is queen of repression in some ways, however open she is in others.

 You know, there is another reason why Crichton was the one to pull it together. (And no, I am not just referring to stubborness). He already has that edge of insanity to him and it's growing slowly larger. So has he figured out how to cope under weirdness while maintaining some control? He's had to persevere through some horrid stuff and had his head messed up with, so he can temporarily put aside distractions. But the thing is - this is only the start of Scorpius messing with his head. He can fight it on the margins for now (Harvey the Chip clearly wants him to kill everyone so he can be captured easier) but he can fight it even under the stress but we all know how it ends...

Oh yes!

He tries to tell Aeryn about seeing Scorpius but she’s also affected by the light and pays no attention and even John himself assumes it was some of the stuff Traltixx did (and I believe when they first had Scorpy show it was supposed to be a one off, not a chip) and oh boy, the misery that is going to eventually follow.

(the little correction she makes, heeeee...)

Oh boy, and eventually he will make you do that and this will be one of the worst moments of your life.

The thing is - having your mind hijacked is horrible but long before that happens to any significant degree, the layers of horror of it all are there because it’s not just John thinking he’s losing his mind and having his mind sorted through and controlled; it’s the fact that he now lives with the constant presence of his chief torturer in his head - it’s a somewhat literal metaphor for aftereffects of torture yes but also there is the sheer body horror of it which is incredible.

Yikes...

Side note - the ugliness with John and D’Argo bothers me least because they are evenly matched but also it’s pure physical violence, no emotional cruelty involved. 

Also, cool bit of foreshadowing, Chiana aligning with D'Argo here but also, the way Aeryn and John still want to jump each other in this little scene tho they were shooting at each other and have not too much rationality. Heh.

God, those two must have some truly spectacular sex once they finally get to it.

Oh, and the sheer unhinged anything goes vibe of this is so perfect. I don’t know how they manage.

And of course Zhaan just spending the whole episode orgasming and show making no bones about it - I love how just genuinely out there the show was.

Just wild...

Crichton barreling through insanity to save the day but everyone emerging a little or a lot worse for wear is a lot of the modus operandi of this show and this episode really distills it down so concisely in the most gloriously insane way.

[halliescomut]

Kiseki Ep 9

So I don't have proof, but Ai Di was planning to leave. He used the 'orders' from Boss man as an excuse, but I think even if he hadn't seen that text he would have just up and disappeared. I think he took that conversation with Zong Yi in ep 7 to heart and thought that it would be possible for him to leave and not see Chen Yi, and that if he was gone long enough his feelings would die.

I do want to know what Chen Yi is thinking though. Because after we pop back to the present and he brings Ai Di home...it feels like he's trying to get Ai Di to admit he has feelings for him and that's why he took advantage. And if he gets that confession it means that he can confess too, because I think he remembers that night and has now had his feelings for Ai Di change, or perhaps they've simply become clearer. For all the brother stuff, Chen Yi not wanting to see Ai Di being potentially romantically involved with anyone feels a lot to me like jealousy more than a brotherly interest in keeping your freshly 18 'brother' from sowing his oats. I don't know. I do 1000% think that despite all of the depression drinking and Chen Yi still answering to Bossman, I don't think he has the same level of adoration anymore. I think Bossman using Zong Yi and then sending Ai Di into the prison AND promising Ai Di that he could be free of the gang broke ALL of that.

The Ai Di stuff didn't make me cry, but it was so close. Because that 'love scene'...that was clearly Ai Di knowing he was making a choice he wouldn't be able to come back from and thinking that even if all he has is a memory that will be enough.

And Zong Yi... that's what made me cry. Seeing him reunited with his family, but it's never going to go back to how it was even though his dad is okay and now they have each other. It was so sweet and so sad. Like, the poor sister blaming herself, and dad blaming himself, and Zong Yi blaming himself, it's so fucking sad.

The Jhe Ruei stuff was rough to see. Knowing what we do about how Jhe Ruei came to the Fan family and what he gave up, and the lengths he was going to hide his true self, and failing in some aspects. Seeing the 'Old man' (who I don't know if he's Jhe Ruei's father or grandfather tbh) talk about how they can't trust him fully because he's different after suffering MASSIVE BRAIN TRAUMA AND LOSING HIS MEMORY made me want to knock some sense into him. Like how the fuck????

But also what was the point of the Fan family wanting to take Zong Yi out when he was already in jail?? Like what was the purpose...is he just an old-fashioned homophobe, or is he worried Jhe Ruei will remember and leave the family for Zong Yi? Because, dude you barely want him there, so what do you really care?? And it can't really be about 'appearances' when he's an illegitimate heir and isn't going to be given any sort of position of power. I really don't know what's going through the old man's head.

I'm confused, I'm worried, I'm a little sad. So I guess we'll see what happens next week.

Also if you weren't aware there is a 'bonus episode' like episode 8.5 that's up. I watched it on bili, but it gives a bit more insight into the whole Teng and Dragon Gang debacle. It's not really SUPER necessary to follow the general story, but it does give more info. But if you watch MODC, then you may have a bit of a PTSD reaction to watching it...as a warning.

[devisrina]

moment that doesn't get talked about enough is when Carmy was telling Marcus about the chef that worked really hard to get the perfect gelatin texture and it took him a long time to get it right, and Syd comes in with the "veal fat" solution. And Carmy just stares in disbelief "finally there's someone on my level" 👁️👄👁️

You're right anon! He never stops being impressed by her.

The whole conversation has layers.

A theory that one of the chef's kiss shippers compiled was that Carmy was the chef who spent hours perfecting the recipe. Honestly, I think this is meant to be canon.

The show likes to plant seeds in more of a showing-than-telling format when referring to Carmy's expertise as a chef. They did this when Luca was talking about him in s2 ep 4. How Carmy was this chef that he was in cahoots with because he could never compete with him.

Carmy is a serious perfectionist. And if you analyse the way that JAW acts in the Gelée scene specifically, the way that Carmy is very in his head when he's explaining to Marcus the steps to make it correctly, it's like he is reliving the way he prepared it.

And if we piece together what he told Sydney about earning/retaining a star, the probability of Carmy spending hours on end trying to perfect the plum dish is way more probable.

And the other part of the theory was that Sydney knew about the veal fat since she knew Carmy, she had a track record of a lot of talented chefs in the industry. I think the way that she specifically paused as he was telling the story before she leaned up to get something is more evidence of this theory. I think she knew the solution on her own though, but she heard that Carmy made the plum dish and she wanted to figure out the solution to it too. There was speculation that it was that specific dish that was the best meal she ever had, I'm not sure of that though, but it's not entirely out of the question.

It's also really sweet how he uplifts her while she answered. She was confident when she first answered, but she kind of choked up a bit when Carmy was looking at her, it kind of made her step back in explaining. But when he softly reassures her by saying, "No that's right." Kind of gives her that moment to feel pride for it, it's really sweet. Carmy can and will overcome the toxic work environment that he was accustomed to back in NYC, but he really needs to start taking the right support.

[a-sky-of-diamonds]

Disjointed but detailed notes about the new lore on Martyn’s stream

I took a lot of notes while watching the VOD of Martyn’s lore stream, and thought I’d share them if anyone’s interested? They may not entirely make sense in the order they’re in, they were mainly for me to keep track of everything, but why not share it

Notes under the cut because it’s long:

General:

Watchers pay a particular interest in him because

This is why why Pearl asked Martyn if he had Tilly, etc. Martyn showing Pearl Tilly’s ashes really hurt and made Pearl go on a downward slope, and in recognition of that it was the first time the Listeners were able to step in and do a temporary swap, to lighten the load on Pearl’s soul by having Lizzie be the embodiment of it. This is because Lizzie wasn’t there for the whole of Double Life (Watchers didn’t need her ready after Last Life), but had enough left “in the tank” to sub in for an episode.

Google Docs on this: “It was more taxing than usual. Sure, Pearl is a top tier player andr reaches the end consistently, but the trauma she experienced was a new level of [bleeped]. It explains why she’s been somewhat uncharacteristic this season, reeling on the loss of Tilly, begging for her back, and then lashing out when she can’t return to those times.”

The second one is now canon.

Originally: returning the memories of war had happened in Cleo and Pearl’s absence was mutually beneficent to both groups, so Cleo and Pearl were none the wiser as they think they lived it, they were given all the emotions and memories to their vessels.

NOTE: this was changed after Martyn is informed Cleo refers to it as an “amnesia cold”, this is what was imprinted into their minds. They have flickers of memories.

It’s advantageous to the Listeners because that puts less strain on their souls than “I completely blacked out last week what happened”.

However, maybe at some point, one of these players would be able to leave and become a Listener/Watcher (the Watchers were able to convert Grian, after all). It would be very difficult for them to, though –it was easy for Grian because it was his and the Watchers’ intent, the Watchers pulled him out for themselves, etc. However, these players are under such scrutiny and under such close watch from the Watchers, it’s very hard for the Listeners to make a dent.

Martyn’s not sure whether he wants to further Grian’s capabilities much.

Evo:

Watchers were entities that were originally meant to represent the viewers, as a vehicle  to have the viewer’s thoughts able to be brought into the world, as well as as a vehicle for him to leave the series.

When he left, the CCs wanted to explore other places, so brought in the Listeners as a rival entity to the Watchers. They tried to help the players flee the Watcher’s grasp and were unsuccessful. As a punishment for fleeing, the Watchers put the Evo players into these death games. The characters who aren’t in the Life series are canonically in different death games with different creators.

It’s not just Evo cast members because the Watchers have dominion over all Minecraft realms and existences and can pull people in from different servers into the death games.

But the Watchers are particularly angry at the Evo crew for trying to flee.

One of the first things the Listeners said to Martyn and Jimmy: “there are some who watch, we are those who listen, and we do not agree, with their most recent decision” – so seems like listeners always 

Ep 4:

Slight shift in comfort for c!martyn this season because men’s not there (unguided hand as an acknowledgement), ren is always close to c!martyn

“Forever moulding in the sands” – idea that everything was going to be washed up onto the shore and would just be rotting on the beach, again also idea that Scott would be killed

“Fleeting gill” – fleeting connection to Scott, not SUPER super deep

Ep 7:

“Echoes ring for brief exchange”: First part means that with the listeners you hear an echo – echo is a temporary ripple/thing (as in the sub)

“Disruptions by the ones estranged”: a recognition that the Listeners are of the same race/type of existence as the Watchers.

Ep 8 (before death):

Note: cc!Martyn wishes he’d slightly distorted the voice at the end to make it sound more like the voice to draw attention to this.

He’d also have loved to have random voice clips of important moments for character Martyn throughout the entirety of the life series “eg “my lord!”, different betrayals, different moments that made up c!martyn’s journey so far) interspersed throughout the final countdown, but didn’t have the time.

He wanted to do the countdown in the order that people died, with others joining in as they died, but was unable to get recorded voice lines from everyone. It was also a bit empty with just Jimmy, even if he’d included the voice as well. And again, he was pressed for time.

He initially had the Watcher’s voice as the most prominent one, but ended up pulling different people’s voices to become the central channel.

After death:

Their colour isn’t purple (they’re pure bright light), but they’re sort of tainted purple because the games and void are the Watcher’s domain. The void makes everything purple.

One on hand (repaired): limited life

One on heart: double life (closest to heart, tied to someone else’s heart)

One out of frame but same size, somewhere beneath clothing on his shoulder blades at the back: last life

One on cheek: 3rd life, cc!Martyn likes the idea of it being there because that was a tear shed when Ren fell, that was the moment that sort of broke c!martyn and made him more selfish in future series (ouch).

Character Martyn:

He doesn’t know all this is going on. He’s completely unconscious in the void when the Listeners do stuff, and in the world there’s no point in which e knows c!Grian is a Watcher who’s inserted himself into the game. The only time c!Martyn was a glimpse at the truth was at the end of Last Life, when they dropped the veil and spoke to him, but couldn’t comprehend it.

Despite fragment protection, there won’t be much change in how c!Martyn’s games will go. The beings are very very old and powerful, and we as the audience doesn’t know if there have been a bunch of different life series and games that have happened in between of each of the shown Life series. They could have run 3rd Life a number of times, could have run Last Life a number of times, etc, without our knowledge.

Listeners probably won’t be able to communicate with Martyn next season.

Other characters/characters in general:

They still hate Scott, despite him obeying the Boogeyman in session 1, partly because he still holds onto his principles and is still honourable and trusting of others, and doesn’t hold contempt even prior to Watchers feeding on emotions – he’s always happy for others to take the win, etc. They don’t get many negative emotions from Scott, which frustrates them from.

Theory that Grian and Jimmy were pushed off by the Watchers isn’t canon to Martyn’s POV, but still can be in fanon of course.

Any players that haven’t returned yet are absent because they’ve gone through too much trauma and haven’t recovered yet. If they go back in too fragmented and broken, they’d stand to ruin the game – they’d be sort of ‘deranged’, but not the way the Watchers could feed on – they’d be cowering in the corner as easy kills, and it’s not what the Watchers are trying to do – they want people to be calm and calculated and lie and betray, they like feeding on more complex human emotions than just emptiness.

Other notes:

Clips/visuals in the countdown (they were reversed btw):

Lim life 5 (martyn landed on glass), dl 4, ll 9, 3l 8. There are frames of the Red Winter moment too

He wanted to choose episodes of prominence, didn’t think about clips too much (they were randomised?).

Song at the end is a custom song made by sparkles

We’ll be delving into lore late this year! There’s a comic cc!Martyn wants to make about it, and also more he wants to do with Chapter 3.

He’s currently in Chapter 3 of the lore (“Into the Datastream”), which is part Vtuber part Life Series. 

Chapter 4, which we’re not in yet, is called “Fragment Wars” – fragments are still more layered than they appear, but we somewhat have an idea of what they are now.

Chapter 2 was just called “Life” – beginning of Death Games. Chapter 1 was called “Memory Lane” (Evo – trip down Minecraft lane memory versions), using Evo as a launch part to begin Martyn’s story.

There’s a transition he wants to do from Chapter 4 into Chapter 5, there’s a certain something he wants to do (which has something to do with the Vtuber lore, because cc!Martyn said he wishes the Vtuber stuff took off more than it did).

Vtuber lore: Chapter 1 has no interfacing with VTuber stuff, it’s not intertwined with Evo. Chapters 2 and 3 are a weird blend with some sort of transition points with Vtuber stuff between them, and 4 and beyond are properly intertwined.

He didn’t lost fragments in Rats.

Martyn currently has around 12 A4 pages of lore and story, which is all a very condensed version of the events, so there’s a LOT to come!

[sobeksewerrat]

Mini-Drew-Analysis for His Birthday!!

Since yesterday was my lovely Drewy-bear's birthday, I decided to write a bullshit little blurb talking about how I interpret his character, and how much (I think) people misinterpret his aggression during the drakeup.

I won't include anything about the music club, since it has been a while since I rewatched the series as a whole and memories of them interacting with Drew are kinda rusty and that deserves its own essay.

Like the Milly/Ep.3 post, I *might* briefly mention a lot of my own trauma or experiences and compare them to Drew's behaviours, so apologies in advance if that bothers you.

Now, firstly, I would like to establish his major relationships in the show since most of his characterization comes from said relationships.

ZOEY:

Droey is arguably Drew's second-most-important relationship, despite the lack of screentime (which I am really salty about).

Now, whilst I love the aroace and gay Drew headacanons, I think we can all agree that he did love Zoey to some extent. The photo in Zoey's room and the fact that he is willing to fulfil her ever wish are proof enough in my eyes.

Drew's love-language is gift-giving (same, Drew, same). It was been confirmed that his parents get him everything they want since HIS FIRST APPEARANCE.

"Well, they bought it for me last night!"

I'm mostly theorising here, but going off of this alone: Drew's parents have been (and still are) very absent in his life.

They couldn't give him enough attention nor affection when he was a kid so they just opted to shove lavish gifts and money in his face to show him their [persumed] love for him.

So, Drew grew up with the virtue that love is mainly expressed through money and expensive gifts ingrained into his head since he was a young child.

He only buys gifts for people he deeply loves and cares about, it's not just a way of flexing or getting people to like him (more on that in the Jake part).

Drew loved Zoey, from the bottom of his heart, so he bought her everything she asked for and took her on dates to the mall regularly to show her how deep his affection for her is.

That's why he was so concerned and "suspicious" when she stopped asking for so many gifts.

He wasn't worried that she was "cheating", he was worried that she didn't loved him anymore, that she was going to leave him.

Moreover, Drew is a very distrustful person by nature, and those he trusts, he trusts deeply.

Those are the only people he allows himself to be emotional around or express his interests and hobbies to, but even then he still has an invisible wall surrounding him.

He lets them be close enough to understand him on a surface level, but not close enough to see his true colours and vulnerabilities (same, Drew, same ×2. Also, Milly parallel!!).

Zoey was naturally one of those few people he trusted, and she broke that trust.

That's why he was so hurt after Zoey left him. He trusted her, he was willing to go to the ends of the earth for her, he loved her.

But she cheated on him. She took advantage of him. She broke his trust.

And even without all of the above, anybody would get scarred and hurt by their partner cheating on them, manipulating them, and using them for money (trust me, I am speaking from personal experience here).

Well, Zoey betrayed him...at least his other friends are still-

HENRIAM:

WRONG. THEY HURT HIM TOO.

Let me elaborate.

We don't get enough screentime to see Drenriam interact so I can't write about them separately (FUXK YOU JAKE AND THE NUSIC FREKA DFOR HOGFINF ALL THE SCREENTOME).

But, we know Drew cares about them. And they know it too.

"Come on, you know you love us" (Henry, Ep5)

And Drew doesn't respond. He just blushes, rolls his eyes and stays silent, which I think is confirmation enough.

"buT hE iS mEAn tO tHeM!1!1" I hear a Drew-anti cry from afar while clutching their limited-edition Jailey keychains.

My guy, my gal, my enby pal, do you even HAVE friends?!?

You're only nice for the first month or so and THAT'S IT, you've gone past the expiry date of nice and become mean and brutally insult each other lightheartedly and call each other "Freak" affectionately. Sometimes it takes even less than that.

Again, they were two of the only few people he trusted.

And they also broke that trust by hiding Zoey's cheating from him. They even think about her gold-digging as JOKE (flashback to ep2 opening scene).

"They were blackmailed!!"

I don't even think I have the patience to elaborate on why that is a stupid fucking excuse. Zoey had no dirt on Jake, no?

They could have told him to tell Drew, or they could have just told him but tell him not to tell Zoey they were the ones who told on her or whatever.

I think the only reason Drew stuck with them during the finale was because he was truly alone. He had nobody else, so he stuck with the last shred of his life before Jake left, even if he hated them now (still can't wait for the Drake-up 2.0, where Drew breaks off his friendship with Henriam and falls into deep, deep depression<44).

(WAIT FUCK THEN DRIAM WONT BE CANON SH-)

Lia(and why Dria /p will never happen imo):

Yeah no it won't happen. Lia distanced herself from Zoey,and she will definitely start hanging out with Jake and the others and completely ditch the Dromies.

Yknow just completely cut off Drew from any form of emotional support system let him SUFFER

JAKE:

Oh the dreaded part-

Here we go ig.

Jake sucks. He was a horrible friend. That is the thesis, that is the topic sentence, that is what I will start with.

Let me just document every major shitty thing Jake did that I can remember atm.

1. He blackmailed Zoey and hid the fact that she was cheating on Drew from him, which breaks his trust (I elaborated on this more in my ep.3 analysis!!)

2. He lied to Drew about being grounded to ditch him for club practice, I am not even gonna try to explain why that is super shitty anybody with 2 braincells and 2 milligrams of basic human decency (which Jake apparently lacks) should be able to realize this on their own. Especially since Drew clearly has trust and attachment issues (his clearly possessive nature of Jake, being that he is one of the closest people to home). Actually, he also lied to him at the end of ep1 wtmf

3. Trying to give his laptop away to Sean. It isn't even about how rude it is to give away an expensive gift, it is about how oblivious Jake is to Drew's feelings. He doesn't even CARE about what Drew feels at all.

Drew feels like Jake is his closest friend, like he's the only person who truly understands him, when this shows that it is quite the opposite in fact.

Jake doesn't understand that it is more than just an expensive gift given by a spoiled kid with too much money to spend. It is a symbol of how much Drew loves him (platonically or otherwise). All of the gifts he buys for him are.

Drew is emotionally-constipated. We (sadly) don't get to see how they met exactly (only one picture to elude to it). But, I think I have an idea.

Drew sees Jake, a loner who's bullied by everyone and sitting all alone. He feels bad and wants to talk to him. He doesn't know how to approach him, so he tries the only way he knows.

All of his other friends and classmates would always seem impressed and fawn over him whenever his parents would buy him something new, so maybe it would work this time?

So he approaches Jake, and offers to let him play with his new switch, because that is the only possible way (in his head) to talk to him.

It is not like Jake doesn't value Drew, but this shows how little he actually knows; that him trying to fit in has caused him to completely misunderstand Drew. Idk man I don't really like Jake so I don't like analysing him please any jake kinnie try to explain.

Now, Jake has been spending a lot of time with the music club, and that has been triggering Drew's attachment issues. What was so great about those freaks anyway??

That whole scene in ep.9 was just his attachment and validation issues on full display, an essay on jagged--dust-jacket-analysis explains way better than I ever could, so check it out!!

When Jake yells at him and leaves in ep.10 and implies that there is something Zoey is hiding it...it breaks him, for all the reasons I stated before.

After Henriam explain everything, it just confuses and hurts him more.

But why would Jake hide this from him? Wasn't he his best friend? Why is he apologising to those freaks, but not him?!

It must be that Hailey girl, she is the one fucking with his head.

He'll confront her. He'll expose her for the fraud she is, and then Jake wi-

(Look please bear with me on this part ik the drake up is a meme now but please let us try to treat it seriously for once)

"Back off, Drew"

Jake chose the freaks. Jake is defending them.

"The club is what I care about- MY FRIENDS!"

His friends?? What was he??

This...this was all for Daisy wasn't it?

What passion was he talking about?!

He never told them anything!!

Why would he hide Zoey's cheating from him!?

Wasn't he his best friend?!

Was he lying to them this whole time..?

"You're right. Drew, Henry, Liam, I'm sorry,"

He is sorry. Drew didn't bother listening to the rest. It was basically confirming what he'd already concluded.

Jake lied to him.

They all did.

"I'm sorry"

Those words were meaningless.

Sorry, sorry, sorry, that's what they all said!

Accepting this apology would make him seem weak.

Allowing Jake to abandon him would make him weak.

Breaking down crying would make him weak.

Apologising, when he'd done absolutely nothing wrong in his own eyes, would make him weak.

And if there is one thing Drew hated more than anything else, it is appearing weak.

Appearing vulnerable, letting people take advantage of him like all of his friends and his girlfriend did.

"I'm done with you,"

Drew walked away without making eye contact with anybody. He didn't even look to see if Henry and Liam were following him, and he frankly didn't care.

They were all assholes anyways.

They all used him.

Nobody mattered to him anymore. He was fine before meeting them, he'd definitely be fine without them, right?

Drew was leaving them all behind, he'd cut them out.

He would be better off without them.

Conclusion/Closing Thoughts:

I must admit, this did turn fanfic-y midway and it is not the most well-put together, I was really rushing to finish this.

A lot of what I am describing here is my subjective opinion and what I percieve ad Drew's P.O.V, not the objective facts.

Another confession I must make is that most of what is here is just me projecting a few months of therapy sessions onto Drew. My therapist dissected a lot of internal issues with me naturally, and they served to help me understand myself better and realize how much of my own issues applied on Drew aswell.

As I progress with my therapy and learn more about my own baggage, I might be able to remove the biased lens that I am seeing Drew through and might write a more well-constructed and objective analysis of him in the near future.

For now, however, this is all I have. Hope you liked it!! Happy late-birthday to Drewy Bear, and have a great day/night everybody!!!