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h0neypjm · 3 years

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Confident 02 | jjk

↳ Summary: After giving Jungkook the best suck of his life he’s left wondering if what you said was true. Was it really your first time? ‘Cause Jungkook thinks you might’ve lied.

↳ Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

↳ Genre: Smut, fluff, angst, college au, fuckboy! jk, our fav cheeky virgin reader!

↳ Rating: 18+

↳ Word count: 8.8k

↳ Warnings: swearing, mentions of past toxic relationship, mentions of being pressured into sex, mentions of body image, mentions of stds, Jungkook being very confused, no smut in this part

↳ a/n: here it is !!! thank you for all the love for the first part, i hope you enjoy this part ! please feel free to leave any feedback <3

↳ Series: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04

Previously...

“She said it's her first time.” He pauses, looking up at his friends' concerned faces. “I think she might’ve lied.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

Jungkook groans, cradling his head before banging it on the table. The utensils on the table rattle and clang, bringing unwanted attention to his mini breakdown. Taehyung is quick to place his hand under Jungkook's forehead just as he goes in for another blow. “Ok, Jungkook- Jungkook!” Jimin giggles beside him. “Fucking stop, people are staring.”

Jungkook pauses and subtly peeks out of his long bangs, checking to see that Taehyung’s words were indeed true. He breathes out and sits up in his chair, fixing his shirt to play off that he wasn’t just having a mental meltdown.

Jimin rolls his eyes, “soooo are you gonna talk now, cause’ I have a horrible headache and you’re really not helping.”

Jungkook nods opening his mouth to speak. “Alright so uh, I met a girl last night and-”

“I thought you went home?” Taehyung shoves Jimin’s shoulder and Jungkook glares, “yeah, well that clearly didn’t happen.” He rubs his temples, “could you do me a favour and let me speak first, and then you can ask the questions. Ok?”

The two boys nod, settling into their seats as Jungkook delves back into his story.

“Alright so anyways, I saw this girl and like, I haven’t ever seen her before? She was literally perfect”. He exhales looking at nothing at particular as he continues. “Gorgeous face, prettiest lips and oh! speaking of her lips, God the way she sucked-”

Despite what Jungkook said earlier, Taehyung feels the need to intervene. “Ok as much as I love a good suck myself, I need you to stop here, we don’t need the graphics.” Jimin nods in agreement even though it’s clear he’s not paying an ounce of attention. Jungkook smirks at the memory, but it soon drops as he remembers one tiny detail. He places his hands on the table, total seriousness etched onto his face. “But here’s the kicker, she said it was her first time.”

Confusion.

“So did you or did you not take her virginity?”Jungkook crosses his arms. “No, after that she just up and left.” “Wait, fuck”, Jungkook suddenly realises, “I didn’t even make her cum”, he groans and Taehyung bursts into laughter. This finally garners Jimin’s attention, his dazed eyes squinting. “Who’s the girl?” Jungkook sighs, “if you were listening before you would’ve heard me say that I don’t know her.” Jimin leans forward,“well can you at least describe her? I pretty much know everyone who attended the party”

Jungkook doesn’t have to think that hard. “She was wearing this plaid skirt and like a white top-” Jimin’s eyes widen, “Holy shit, Y/N?! Man, Jin’s gonna kill you.” This makes Jungkook pause, thoughts running back to the text he had received from Jin. “Wait, they’re not a thing are they?” Jimin chokes, “God no, they’ve been family friends since like forever, Jin’s practically her protective older brother.”

That explained his text earlier. Jungkook furrows his brows, more questions beginning to arise and spill out of his mouth. “How come I’ve never met her and if she’s a virgin, then how- how did-”, Taehyung cuts in, “dude she’s done other things before.” More confusion. “And how would you know that?” Taehyung smirks, shrugging as he gets up out of his chair. “I'm gonna get a drink, Jimin, you want anything?” God, his head is spinning. “Sure, you know my usual.”

It was the way Taehyung spoke too casually, like your lifestyle choices were common knowledge. How the fuck hasn’t he met you, yet his friends seem to be well acquainted with your existence? “What the fuck was that look?” He focuses on Taehyung from where he orders his drinks. “Did you see it Jimin? Kinda sus.”

Jimin remains nonchalant, blowing a strand of hair out of his sight before answering one of Jungkook’s urgent queries. “Jin never introduced you to her because well…” He looks Jungkook up and down with an unimpressed look. “You would get your grimy hands on her immediately. And Then after that, It’s like she never existed ” Jungkook opens his mouth, rebuttal on the tip of his tongue. “Don’t argue with me boy, the second you met her, you already wanted her on your dick, did you not?”

Jungkook is shocked to say the least, jaw hanging open as Taehyung makes his way back to the table, drinks in hand. “Oh God, what did you tell him?” Jungkook slams his fist on the table, yet again grabbing the attention of people around them. “That is not true! I have standards, and what about you two. You guys are just as bad.” He points accusingly at the bruises peeking out of Taehyung’s loose shirt, “Look at Tae! Those hickies are probably a combination of the three girls he fucked last week!”

Jimin doesn’t want to get kicked out of the cafe, so he attempts to calm down a soon to be raging Jungkook. “Look, to put it nicely, you’re a heartbreaker, you lead girls on whereas Tae and I actually tell people we’re not interested in anything more than a hookup.”

Jungkook seems to understand where he’s coming from. He can admit, he does have quite the reputation if the amount of times he’s been slapped in the face says anything. But now, with this newfound information, he can also admit that you’ve certainly intrigued him, that was for sure.

Jungkook wants to see you again.

Not for a rump in the sheets, but rather a friendly conversation.

It was just his luck that he had heard through the grapevine that you had been invited to one of Jin’s small pool party get togethers. If Jungkook was being honest, he’s quite excited to be within your vicinity again but he knows he needs to keep his cool. Especially after the series of death threats and slaps on the neck from Jin. He shudders at the memory.

And so, Jungkook prepares himself more than he usually does. He wants to do it right this time. No flirty teasing, just friendly innocent conversation. He makes sure to carefully pick out the right swim shorts that display the thickness of his thighs. Not for any sexual gain, more so to show off the hours spent at the gym in hopes that maybe he can get you to become more interested in him as he is to you. He sounds desperate, and he’s sure you’re not that materialistic, but he has this nagging want to impress you somehow. He huffs and does a few pushups, for extra measure of course.

He’s not sure as to why his brain decided to make him act this way. You’re more or less a stranger to him. However, when Jungkook begins his short journey to Jin’s house he really lets himself think, which usually isn't a good idea.

Jungkook doesn’t know you, but you’ve definitely left an imprint in his mind which makes you all the more fascinating. It’s news to him that you seem to be very close to his small circle of friends which is probably thanks to your deeply rooted friendship with Jin. That new piece of information had been bugging him since the day he met up with Taehyung and Jimin. Surely his reputation couldn’t be the only reason why you’ve never met him. Right?

Parking his car in Jin’s enormous driveway, he makes his way up to the grand front door. Sometimes he wishes he could live a life like Jin. He grew up being fed with a silver spoon his whole life. Having everything paid for instead of rolling in the miseries of college student debt.

Once Jungkook makes his way into the large house, he sets down the drinks he had brought onto the kitchen counter and watches his best friends goof around and enjoy the summer sun with a warm grin. He chuckles quietly when Jin pushes Jimin and his perfectly styled hair into the pool. Jimin screams a slur of curses while Jin quickly runs beside a sleeping Yoongi for protection.

Slipping out of his loose oversized shirt, Jungkook scans the entirety of Jin’s backyard, looking for the face that has been haunting him since that fateful night. She’s not here. He reexamines the pool seeing nothing but the chaotic mess of his favourite people, and he sighs. Just as he prepares to step out into the blazing sun, the sound of his stomach growling stops him in his tracks.

Thinking about you made him nervous. So nervous that his stomach couldn’t bear the thought of breakfast. However, after the realisation that you hadn’t arrived just yet, makes him do a full one eighty, long strides taking him to Jin’s expensive fridge.

His head is already deep into the fridge when he hears the sound of the sliding door opening, revealing a dripping Jin with a small scowl on his face. It seems Jimin finally got his revenge. “I’m starving you got any leftovers?” Jungkook queries, his head popping out from the cool air of the fridge.

Jin grabs a fresh towel and whacks it against Jungkook’s naked back. “What’s the point of even asking when you’re already going through my damn fridge!” Jungkook flashes Jin an innocent grin and glows when he discovers a small bowl of Chinese takeout.

It very quickly dawns on Jungkook that in order to enjoy a nice warm meal, he would need to heat it up. His stomach all but roars, not used to the lack of food in its system and Jungkook wants to cry. He wants to cry and it's not from the angry hunger pains, but rather something extremely laughable. He has to use a fucking microwave.

You’re running late, there’s sweat running down your brow and you feel like your arms will fall off any second. The weight of snacks and alcohol you had brought making you stagger as you finally enter Jin’s enormous home.

The one and only thing that’s on your mind is the refreshing feeling of slipping into Jin’s pool while sipping on an iced beverage. This motivates you enough to put all the strength left in your exhausted being to speedily walk into the kitchen and throw everything onto the counter.

“AHH FUCK!” You flinch at the sudden scream, hugging your body protectively. Jungkook slowly pops out from behind the other side of the counter, his doe eyes big and wide. “You fucking scared me Jesus!” He exclaims, running a hand through sweaty bangs.

The air had escaped your lungs long before you could utter your next sentence as the sight before you has you freezing. There he was, Jeon Jungkook in all his glory. Tanned skin and taut muscle sculpted by the Gods. You didn’t mean to stare, but how could you not! Your eyes had a mind of their own. He’s glorious, every single part of him, and you’re not even afraid to admit it. Your eyes are quick to eat him up, tracing the art staining the whole of his right arm and you wonder what every swirl of ink means to him.

Jungkook coughs awkwardly, going in to scratch at his neck. You imagined he would tease you about your obvious ogling, but it never came. Strange. “Why were you hiding?” You ask, dropping your gaze from his body in order to arrange the snacks into neat piles, using it as an excuse to slowly step closer to him. “Oh! Uh-”, he scratches his head, looking down at his feet before jumping five feet into the air, a startled gasp leaving his lips when the timer of the microwave goes off.

You burst into laughter and Jungkook flushes in embarrassment. Jin had told you about Jungkook’s embarrassing fear of microwaves but you never thought you would see it first hand. You hold in the laughs that tickle your throat and try to settle him down by lightly touching his shoulder. He flinches at your touch.

“Are you okay?” You’re really close to him now. Your chest is practically pressed up against his and Jungkook gulps. How was it possible that you could look even more stunning than the last time he saw you? Your cheeks are glowing from the soft golden rays of the afternoon sun and the way you look up at him, your soft smile curling makes his head spin.

“Yeah, I’m good”, he breaks eye contact in embarrassment. “Sorry, just uh, microwaves are scary you know?” You giggle up at him. Is this really Jungkook? The Jungkook you’ve seen flaunting a new girl every week just to abruptly break her heart when he can’t promise anything more than sex?

You’re not complaining, he’s quite adorable like this.

You’re not too sure why his personality has the sudden switch up. It could possibly be the fact that he’s with his closest friends and doesn’t feel the need to put up his playboy persona. Although, the way he blushes when he looks at you plays a different story. Do you make him nervous? Surely not, if the memories of that heated night are anything to go by.

“So uh, are you gonna head into the pool?” His empty stomach is long forgotten as he gestures to the large backyard, you nod up at him excitedly. It’s then Jin decides to bust back into the kitchen, a stern gaze set on his face. “Y/N, can I speak with you for a minute?” Jungkook cautiously takes a step away from you, your bodies no longer close to each other and you notice this with a small frown.

“Yeah, sure”, you relent walking over to Jin who places a protective arm around your shoulders. Unknowingly to you, Jin traps Jungkook down with a hard stare and signals Jungkook to go outside, to which he accepts with a nod.

“I know what you’re gonna say, and no I do not see him like that”, you cross your arms defensively. Jin sighs, “I just don’t wanna see you get hurt again.” He places his hands on your shoulders, full lecture mode on. “Let’s face it, you’re a hopeless romantic, I can’t trust that you won’t do something stupid, but you and Jungkook… You’re both important friends of mine and-”

You’ve heard his overprotective brotherly speech plenty of times, “I know, and I’m so thankful that you’re looking out for me. I just don’t see the harm in befriending him, you’ve never let me speak to him before.” Jin releases his hold on your shoulders to fix the mess of his wet hair, “and there's a reason for that.”

Why was he so damn hard-headed. Jin loves Jungkook like he loves his family. It just didn't make any sense to you that Jin could approve of their friendship but when it comes to you, he completely shields you away from any interactions with the so called playboy.

“When are you going to stop protecting me from boys?” Jin senses your frustration immediately. “I may be younger than you, but I’m also an adult just like you. An adult that can make her own choices.” You exhale slowly, “You’ve let me befriend your whole group and they’ve been nothing but wonderful to me, I don’t see the wrong in getting to know Jungkook.”

Jin lets his guard down. You do have a point, maybe he was being a little too overprotective. He gives you a soft smile, you look away.

“You’re right, I am in no position to dictate your decisions and who you choose to hang around with, it was wrong of me to treat you like that. Jin looks out into the pool, watching Jungkook tackle Taehyung. “I’m sorry I was a bit too harsh, Jungkook’s a good kid, he just got into the wrong crowd at first. Although, you gotta promise to tell me if he hurts you, cause he knows I’ll beat his ass.”

You laugh accepting his apology, “are you sure about that? He’s a literal muscle pig.” You both begin to make your way outside and Jin shoves you slightly, “hey! You know I’m right.” Jin shakes his head and brings you into a comforting hug. “Yeah, yeah whatever.” He rolls his eyes, you beam up at him and together you walk out into the warm sunlight.

It hadn’t even been a second since you stepped outside, and already Yoongi’s long term girlfriend, Jieun is squealing your way. “Y/N! I’m so happy you're finally here, the amount of testosterone out here was starting to make me feel faint.” You giggle at her exasperated tone, pulling her into a tight hug.

Nonchalantly you peel off your flowy sundress, it’s stickiness from your sweat making you cringe. “I missed you last week, why didn’t you come to class?” Jiuen pouts, “I'm sorry bub, I somehow caught a cold, but I trust you have some notes for me.”

The way Jieun flutters her lashes at you innocently forces a roll from your eyes. Slathering sunscreen onto your arms, you reprimand her, “I swear you’re only using me for my notes, you literally never listen in class! Can you get my back please?”

She hums while you turn around, her small hands kneading sunscreen from your shoulder bones to the small dip in your back. Jieun continues to blabber on about the joys of life, not even checking if you’re listening to a single word she says. Instead your eyes are zeroed in on a certain someone.

Your staring is blatantly obvious but you don’t care. It’s only when Taehyung spots your burning gaze with a small smirk does he signal Jungkook to turn around to meet your flirty grin.

Holy shit

The sun does a real great job of highlighting the gorgeous curves of your body adorned in quite possibly the smallest baby blue bikini he’s seen on a woman. Your breasts practically spill out of the tiny triangle cups and the pretty colour compliments your skin beautifully.

Whilst Jungkook can admit you have one of the hottest bodies he’s seen in a while, his eyes surprisingly don't linger on your delicious curves for too long. Instead, he finds himself utterly enamoured by the way your eyes crinkle slightly when you smile prettily at him, your cheeks glowing with it.

It suddenly dawns on him that you are the first girl that has truly enchanted him, and no, your ridiculously gorgeous body had little to do with it.

Jungkook does not mind this change one bit.

So, instead of staring at you like a gaping goldfish, he matches your flirtatious body language with a boyish grin and a small wave. His previous nerves dissipating only to be replaced by confidence and polished charm. He doesn’t want to scare you off with his sudden look of epiphany just yet, but the new unfamiliar feeling you give him is surely doing exactly that.

“My, my, Yoongi wasn’t lying.” Jieun stifles a giggle when she notices how Jungkook’s attention has steered towards you and only you. You’re quick to turn around, brows furrowed. “What are you on about?”

“Oh you know… You and Jungkook”

You grimace, tired of the repeated topic of conversation. “Just because I sucked his dick once does not mean we're a thing”

“Oh really? He’s asked me an awful lot of questions about you I was beginning to think otherwise”

“Wait, really?”

Jieun has the widest cheshire grin plastered on her face, it's starting to look quite unsettling.

“Really.”

You’re thoroughly shocked to say the least. You thought your fast, fleeting blowjob, sort of, was nothing special. A usual escapade to get his daily fill. Ordinary. Unmemorable.

However, it seems to be quite the opposite.

Jieun grabs your hand and swings it back and forth, exactly like a mother would do, although she’s merely two years older than you. “I know Jin’s been up your ass about Jungkook and frankly I don’t blame him he’s still a little shit from time to time but, he’s actually quite fun to be around and honestly I think his playboy tendencies seemed to dial down a bit since he met us.” The two of you giggle quietly amongst each other, quick feet making your way closer to the pool to avoid the scorching pavement.

Your toes are the first to dip into the pool and you practically moan at the cold water melting away the blistering haze that sticks onto your skin. The water is icy at your waist and you love it. “So my advice would be not to worry about him, instead it's his little army of plastic bimbos that you should watch out for.”

“Ahh, internalised misogyny. We love to see it.”

Jieun acknowledges you with a hum as the two of you float around the calming abyss. She then swims closer to you, nodding her head into the direction of a lonely Jungkook, who lazily stares at your alluring form. “I think your loverboy over there wants to talk to you.”

Jieun swims away before you can protest, leaving you to face the handsome man before you. His eyes are round and docile, yet his stare is tantalising, it pulls you in as if he’s slowly reeling you in with a rope.

The water delicately ripples around your body when you approach him and you internally sigh in awe at the striking features of his stunning face. You want to use this opportunity to finally get to know him, and perhaps form a new friendship.

You take note of the lack of Jin’s hawk-like eyes or for better the lack of any eyes on the two of you. You’re alone, huddled into one of the far corners of the pool, your conversation private, just for two pairs of ears.

You open your mouth to speak, “So-”

“I-”

An uncomfortable silence stills the air and you both halt your words to giggle quietly amongst yourselves. God, this is awkward.

“You go first”, You offer, tucking a wet strand of hair behind your ear. Jungkook follows the subtle movement of your fingers before taking a deep breath.

“I feel like we should discuss the elephant in the room”

You're stunned. “Huh?”

“You know… That Friday night?”

Of course you knew what he was referring too, yet you wondered why as you honestly didn’t think that night had much impact on the man.

With a raised brow you ask, “What about it?”

“I’ve just had a lot of... thoughts”

You scratch your head feeling puzzled. You’re sure Jungkook has had better blowjobs in his lifetime. Hell, Jungkook did most of the work that night. “Do you usually discuss the past hookups you have, or am I just lucky today?”

You’re teasing him, nevertheless Jungkook tilts his head back towards the sky. All he wants is clarification, only this conversation is heading down an awkward path, so he decides to spit out what’s been bothering him for the past few days.

“Okay listen, I know this is odd to say, but ever since that night, It’s like I can’t get you out of my head.”

Your ego inflates at his statement and you smirk. You knew you could suck dick well, but according to Jungkook you seem to have quite the talent.

You smile proudly, “damn, look at me go, I can’t believe I have the campus playboy wrapped around my finger.”

Jungkook scoffs, both in annoyance and embarrassment because shit, he could have worded that differently, now he sounds like the clingy girls he fucks.

“Yeah, yeah let’s not pretend like I was the only one enjoying myself here. Weren’t you the one practically begging to be touched?”

You’re amused. “Weren’t you the one who couldn’t make me cum. Yet came from their own handjob?”

Jungkook tongues his cheek and looks away. The way you speak so casually intimidates him. No girl has ever spoken to him this way, in fact, Jungkook’s the one who usually likes to tease. He can slowly feel the creeping heat alighting his cheeks and God does he hope you don’t notice.

You patiently wait for Jungkook’s reply, a sly grin adorned on your pretty face. However, Jungkook doesn’t say anything, rather he frowns and immaturely splashes water at your face.

“Jungkook!” You sputter, wiping at your face to rid of the chlorine in your eyes. “What the fuck was that for?”

He shrugs, “sorry my hand must’ve slipped”

You don’t take that for an answer, your petty nature crawling out as you splash him back harder than he had done. “Hand slipped, my ass.”

You cross your arms smugly, a small laugh blossoming out of your mouth when Jungkook cutely rubs at his eyes.

It’s after a minute when you realise Jungkook hasn’t stopped furiously rubbing his eyes. The circular motions of his hand move so intensely that it begins to look painful and irritating. “Fuck, it stings”, he exclaims in agony.

Shit, you inwardly curse, gently touching his wrist, concern lacing your features because you didn’t think getting chlorinated water in one's eye would sting that much. You analyse his facial expressions closely and you wince at the redness surrounding his eyes from his harsh rubbing.

On the contrary, Jungkook knows exactly what he’s doing. He’s competitive and won’t back down from a fight, even if it’s just fun banter, so he continues his little scheme just for the fun of it and hides his small grin under his large hands.

You’re now slightly panicked, “fuck, Jungkook I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hit the water that hard I-”

Jungkook cracks.

Ever so slowly, he peeps his eyes out at you and watches with a mischievous smirk as your face morphs from alarmed to annoyed in less than a millisecond.

You tighten your grip on his wrist and attempt to slap his hard chest with your free hand, however Jungkook’s reflexes are fast and he grasps your hand tightly, a teasing glint in his eye.

“You little shit-”

All of a sudden a loud holler is heard from the front door, rousing a relaxed Jin out of his chair as he sprints while simultaneously yelling at the ruckus being made. It’s then a stampede of both familiar and unfamiliar faces come crashing in. Some jump straight into the pool to cool off from the blazing sun while others rush to the table of assorted alcohol, desperate to get an ounce of it in their system.

Word seemed to go around about Jin’s supposed small get-together unbelievably fast, causing the once tranquil Kim Seokjin into a raging volcano.

You’re pressed right up against Jungkook’s solid chest and he surprisingly pays you no mind, even though your perky tits are deliciously pushed up perfectly against his body. Jungkook’s eyes are not settled on them, rather he pays close attention to the amount of people dangerously plunging into the pool at a fast rate.

Jungkook protectively hugs your shoulders to shield you from the rowdy party goers who definitely do not understand the definition of personal space. Your heart swells when he then delicately places your head in the crook of his neck and wraps an arm around your fairly exposed body, essentially guarding you from frantic wet limbs and ignorant individuals.

You feel comfortable and safe, so comfortable that you wouldn’t mind staying like this for a while if it weren’t for the throng of college students delving into the cooling water.

Jin’s house begins to fill with unexpected guests very quickly and you wonder how Jin is handling the situation. You suppose not very well when you see him whipping people with towels, red ears making an appearance and his booming voice following him.

Jungkook wants to get out and he’s sure you feel the same way which is why he smoothly slots his hand into your own, long fingers wrapping around your hand to carefully pull you through the growing crowd of people in the pool.

Whilst pushing past a variety of college students you are met with many stares, even worse, numerous envious eyes and whispers of possible gossip. You try your best to avoid their gazes, the hard stares reminding you of the last time Jungkook held your hand to push through groups of people.

Water drips down the curves of your body and lands in little pools around you when you step out of the pool. At this point you’ve garnered even more turning heads that examine every inch of your skin closely. Their stares itch your skin and you feel akin to an animal kept in a zoo enclosure, curious eyes breaking down your confidence, you want to hide.

You usually like to pride yourself on your confidence because you know you’re hot and you know your worth. It had taken many failed relationships to build up your self love and nourish the scars and memories of questioning if you’re good enough.

You fight on and squeeze Jungkook’s hand, mostly for some sort of reassurance. It shocks you when he astonishingly squeezes back and softly rubs his thumb over the back of your hand. It’s almost as if he knows how you’re feeling.

You glance up at him shyly. Jungkook keeps his eyes straight ahead. He smiles a different kind of smile than the one he had directed to you a few hours ago. His lips are in a permanent smug smirk. His usual playboy smile. He flashes it at everyone as if he’s asking for their approval and even goes in to high-five a few people who are unrecognisable to you. You soon realise that this is what Jungkook thrives on. People, validation and his notorious reputation he’s created for himself.

Jungkook lights up at the presence of crowds, flirty smiles and people calling his name, whereas you want to crawl into your skin and run away because from the perspective of outsiders it looks like you’re just another one of Jungkook’s flings that will soon be forgotten by next week.

Well, you hope you won’t turn out to be one of them.

At last you find yourself away from the heart of the party, your dress in hand but your body still wet nonetheless. Jungkook is in the same state as yourself, droplets of water dribbling from his dark hair and onto the timber flooring. He leans into your ear, “I’ll go get us some towels, stay here.”

He’s gone before you can reply, making small conversation when he passes by various people, his boisterous laugh echoing down the halls.

You’re alone now, and defenceless at that. There’s not many people you know here, besides the few odd people you share a class with and some sleazy frat boys that hold a similar reputation to Jungkook. You want to find Jieun so you can hug her or maybe ask her if she can take you home, but she is nowhere to be found.

Fuck, You remember leaving your bag on the kitchen table, unsupervised with many personal belongings stowed away inside. Using your dress to cover the most of your exposed skin like a blanket, you stride over to the kitchen and sigh in relief when you find your bag untouched and in perfect condition.

Snatching up your bag, you grab your phone and immediately text Jieun to find out where the fuck she’s hiding, but there’s a part of you that knows she’s probably fucking Yoongi somewhere. Traitor.

Jungkook finds you to be in a completely different part of the house than where he asked you, one towel wrapped around his neck and the other draped over his arm. You haven’t noticed him yet, your frantic fingers texting a treacherous Jieun, “princess, didn’t I tell you to stay put?”

You’re startled. Switching your phone off you stick your arm out, waiting for Jungkook to pass you the towel but he doesn't. Jungkook gently pushes your shoulders so that you turn away from him and carefully wraps the towel around your body like a cape. You hold the edges of the fabric to help him hug the towel around yourself, keeping it tighter to your body.

Your voice is quiet, “thank you.”

Jungkook leans down to meet your face, “What was that?”

Even though Jungkook had been in the pool longer than you, his cologne still sticks to his skin and you kind of want to breathe more of it in, but that would be weird.

“Oh, I said thank you.”

You’re close to him again, although this time he towers over you with a look almost identical to a predator meeting its prey.

Jungkook’s eyes flirt around your face and descend. He shamelessly drinks up the swell of your breasts and whatever skin is visible amidst the fluffy towel around you. It’s strange. You had noticed Jungkook doing the exact same thing when you were alone with him. The difference though was that his looks were cursory as if he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. Now, It's like a new persona had taken over him and he was ready to pounce at any sign of a green light.

He’s stuck in a trance, fuckboy tinted glasses fogging his vision.

You force out a giggle and playfully shove his shoulder, “my eyes are up here, you know.”

His reply comes lighting fast, he’s definitely been in this position before. “I know, just admiring them.”

Jungkook wants to hit himself the second his reply spewed out of his mouth. He desperately wants to reassure your unimpressed (though also very cute) face, because goddammit he wanted to be respectful. Jungkook knows he has a tendency to slip into a new personality when the right amount of people hyped him. Call it being two faced, he knows it's one of his fatal flaws.

“I'm sorry.”

He says it genuinely.

Jungkook only just got to properly meet you, he doesn’t want to give you the wrong impression! He can admit, your first ever official meeting (moreso hookup) wasn’t ideal, yet the way Jin dragged him through the mud undoubtedly made him understand that you weren’t the type of woman that should ever undergo the treatment he puts his hookups through. Scratch that, any woman shouldn’t be treated the way Jungkook treats them.

You're now fully covered under the towel, not a sliver of skin on display. You don’t know if his apology was genuine. “It’s ok I guess, I expected nothing less from you anyways.”

“Right.” He’s messed up.

You clear your throat, “I’m gonna go get changed, maybe look for Jieun unless-”

Jungkook finishes your sentence, “-she’s fucking Yoongi.”

You exhale, “yeah.”

“Jeon Jungkook!”

The voice makes you halt at its familiar tone. Jungkook doesn’t notice your growing panic as he too freezes in his spot.

No, it can’t be.

The world plays in slow motion when he walks into your line of vision. His assertive stride, smug smile and sharp eyes.

Jeong Suho.

His name explodes inside of you like a blistering fire yet your heart feels ice cold. He is the very man you have spent weeks trying to avoid and even more trying to get out of your head.

The world plays at a normal speed when he approaches Jungkook. Their facial expressions are the same, the way they greet each other is the same. They’re practically the same breed of fuckboy, born from the same mother.

“Been awhile since I’ve seen you around.”

Jeong Suho was a person that Jungkook didn’t really mind, In fact there was a point in Jungkook’s life where he would’ve considered Suho to be one of his closest friends. They were two peas in a pod freshmen year of college. Never giving a fuck about their education and always present for any opportunity to get completely wasted with as many girls they could possibly seduce. Nowadays, Jungkook would rather keep his distance from him.

On the contrary, you were one of the many girls that had fallen deeply for Suho’s alluring charm. You fell so hard, you thought that maybe just maybe there was a possibility that you could secure a future with him. Obviously that was not the case.

You thank your lucky stars that Jungkook was there to distract Suho while you make your haste escape. All you need to do now is somehow locate an unoccupied bathroom, preferably without having to walk in on someone getting it on, and then you could get the hell out of there.

You must admit, you look quite ridiculous right now. Navy blue towel wrapped tightly around your body, your small head peeking through. You could probably pass as some form of E.T cosplay right now. You don’t care if you look rude, pushing and shoving whoever stands in your way. You only have one goal and you’re so so close to succeeding-

“Wait, Y/N! Is that you?”

Fuck.

Do you run? Maybe duck behind some poor innocent student looking for a good time? You huff, you're already sticking out like a sore thumb, there’s no use in trying to hide when the enemy has already spotted you. Even worse Jungkook motions you over with a wide gleaming smile. If only he knew how much you’re dreading this interaction.

Grudgingly, you walk over, looking like an irritated gremlin with your towel still firmly secured around you. Jungkook makes matters worse by pushing the towel off your head, releasing your scruffy ball of hair. You grimace.

“I didn’t know you knew Y/N?”

Suho sends a smirk your way. You however, glower.

“Yeah we go way back, don’t we baby?”

You force a tight lipped smile, howbeit you look as if you have a mild case of constipation.

“Sure.” It comes out rough through gritted teeth.

Suho notes your frustration, a sly grin carving onto his punchable face. He turns towards Jungkook, seemingly blocking you from their conversation, yet you know Suho wants you to hear what he has to say.

“You know it’s a shame. Y/N’s gorgeous, ten outta ten body, knows how to put it to good use, however she never let me fuck her. Don’t you think that’s weird?”

Jungkook stays silent for a minute, eyeing your shaking fists and angry eyebrows. Jungkook may be dumb, but he sure knows how to read a room, thus leading him to the conclusion that your relationship with Suho isn’t something you’re very fond of and that he should probably get you out of here.

“Uhhh no, that’s not weird at all actually. What I think is weird is the fact that you think you have this sick claim on every girl you’ve defiled and even worse, you’ve always had this strange need to chase after every virgin you see like some perverted cherry picker. Yeah, that’s weird.”

Suho laughs right in his face, spit grossly tickling his skin. “That’s rich coming from you Jeon, weren't you quite the cherry picker in your freshman days, no?”

Jungkook doesn’t know what he expected from this conversation. It definitely wasn’t this.

It's obvious that Jungkook isn’t a saint, he really fucking far from it. Although, one thing's for sure, it’s his absolute hatred for the way his brain was wired in his freshman year of college. Yes, Jungkook still remains as one of the standing campus fuckboys but he’s gained a few more brain cells since then.

Jungkook opens his mouth to retort, only to be met with Suho’s back as he turns his attention towards you.

“Y/N, darling if I were you i’d make a run for it, ya know keep your chastity intact or whatever.” His smile is saccharine sweet, though his words are sickly sour.

The months of pent up anger stored within your being bubbles and overflows like a bad science experiment. You’ve quickly decided that now’s that time to expose the shitty excuse of a man, and quite frankly you don’t care that you have an audience. Actually, an audience would make this all the better.

Your finger is strong, pointing accusingly at his broad chest. “You know what you stupid motherfucker? Don’t waltz in here with that dumb smile of yours when you know you have some disgusting cheesy infection growing down there.”

Suho’s eyes widen slightly. It was no secret he was a walking STD, just about infecting every girl that was naive enough to sit on his dick.

Everyone at the party has definitely stopped to listen to what you have to say. You even spot Jin from the corner of your eye sending you a proud smile. “And while we're on the topic of cheese, Learn how to wash your fucking dick!”

You don’t let him have a moment to speak, grabbing Jungkook’s hand and pulling him out of the house.

A few people applaud, some girls praise you on your way out. You give them no mind, you’ve had enough for tonight.

Jungkook starts his car, no questions asked. It’s obvious to him that there’s bad blood between you and Suho. What you don’t know is that Jungkook can also relate.

Technically there was no bad blood between them, moreso the hurtful memories and manipulation Suho put him through. To put it simply, Suho was probably the worst influence Jungkook could ever have as a vunerable freshman.

The crunch of gravel and soft melodies that spill out of Jungkook’s radio converse with eachother and fill the defeaning silence that sits between you and Jungkook.

Jungkook doesn’t even know where he’s going, he just drives.

Every so often he checks up on you from the corner of his eye. Your knees stick tightly together and point away from him. Your fingers curl and uncurl, leaving cresent moons in your skin. And to finish it off, your face remains still, hostility completely washing over your features. If Jungkook didn’t know any better he would think you’d jump out of his car and make a run for it at the chance of him stopping the car.

It’s seven sniffles later when Jungkook decides he knows where he should take you.

The night sky is clear and the stars burn brightly to accompany the full round moon. It’s the perfect setting for release and maybe a screaming session if you’re up for it.

Jungkook makes a stop behind a forest of tall trees and a dirt path. You sit up immediately.

“Where are we?” Your eyes are rimmed with tears, “I want to go home.”

Jungkook shuts the engine off, “you never told me where you live.”

“Well you never asked!”

Maybe you shouldn’t have yelled because from the looks of it, Jungkook just wants to help you out and clearly you’re not being the friendliest right now.

You curl back into yourself, “sorry”, another sniffle.

Jungkook brings your fists into his hands and warmly opens them up. You refuse to look at him, it doesn’t deter Jungkook one bit.

Tenderly he brings a finger under your chin, gradually bringing your eyes up to his. Jungkook takes his time with you, careful to not set you off until you’re face to face with his warm eyes.

“I brought you here because it’s apparent we both need let out some pent up steam.” He drags his fingers delicately across the curve of your chin and back into his lap. His touch is fleeting, you miss it already. “I just thought you may want to vent or just shout out into the void, it’s up to you.” You nod, fully trusting Jungkook’s intentions. “And at any time you feel like going home just say the word and I’ll take you there, okay?”

Your heart swells in adoration at his caring nature, though you can’t help but wonder how he can have such a sudden change in personality depending on where he is and who he’s with. It’s unnerving.

Jungkook clicks his seatbelt off and heads out the car, “put your dress back on princess, I’ll be out here waiting for you.” You mutter your confirmation and do as he asks.

The cool summer air kisses your skin and runs through your hair as you step out of the car. Jungkook is already by your side dressed in an oversize hoodie with another in his hand as well as a fuzzy blanket.

Jungkook steps closer to you, holding the hem of his hoodie to slip over your body. Without a second thought you raise your hands causing Jungkook to chuckle at how cute you look dwarfed in his clothes.

The same cologne you smelled on his skin earlier lingers on every fibre of fabric around you. His scent is everywhere, swirling around your head, instantly calming down your anxieties. You smile at him, “Lead the way Jungkook.”

Jungkook leads you up a small hill and you notice the trees opening up to display a lush field of grass. However, the sight before you leaves you in absolute wonder. You stand completely still and take it all in.

The night sky is dark but the city below illuminates is beautifully. Your gaze bounces over all the buildings, skyscrapers and their dazzling bright lights. It’s peaceful up here, you decide as you take a glimpse of the hundreds of tall structures looking so tiny, so ant-like.

Jungkook is settled behind you, his legs comfortably folded underneath himself. He remembers what it was like the first time he saw the view, which is why he doesn’t blame your stunned silence and glazed eyes.

“How did you find this place?”

You find your way towards Jungkook and plant yourself right beside him. “I don’t know, I was just driving aimlessly one night and found it, It’s nice right.”

You hum, “it’s beautiful.”

Jungkook murmurs in agreement as you lie down on the woolly blanket beneath you. The stars twinkle and glimmer amongst the deep blue sky, creating a serene experience. You shut your eyes.

“I hate him.”

Jungkook looks down at you, you don’t see him though. “Suho?”

“Yeah”, you exhale deeply, “I can’t believe I had to see him again.”

Although Jungkook knows you can’t see him, he swivels his body around to face you properly. “Did you guys date or something?”

You scoff, “pffft you know Suho doesn’t date anyone.” You open your eyes, meeting a pair of round docile ones. You continue, “Suho was the first guy who every gave me an ounce of attention. Before him guys never looked my way. Jungkook remains silent, letting you pour out what’s on your mind.

“Suho had me fooled, I thought I was special to him, thought he saw something in me that was different from the others. Turns out that was his game after all”

You speak so animatedly, your hands wave around in the air, your eyebrows scrunch when the memories come back to you. “It’s stupid really, how I used to gush to him about finding the one person in the universe that was created just for me. I guess he used this as my weak point.”

Inhale, exhale.

“He made me believe he was that special person for me, used it as an excuse to pressure me into sex.” A tear rolls down the side of your face, falling perfectly in a straight line. “I almost gave in, but something just felt so wrong. Every time I said no he would call me terrible names, tell me that no one would want me if I never gave them what they wanted. And I believed him.”

Another tear escapes your wet orbs, Jungkook is there to wipe it this time.

“I broke it off after I found out he fucked my roommate and gave her some disease.” You chuckle, “I guess I’m lucky I never let him fuck me huh?”

Jungkook’s heart breaks at your saddened eyes and the way Suho treated you, he sweeps a stray hair out of you face. “I think you dodged a bullet there princess, what he did to you was pure evil, no one, and especially you don’t deserve that”

You sit up, wiping remaining tears and thanking him as you go, “It’s your turn now.” You pat his thigh, “tell me why Suho got you so riled up tonight.”

Jungkook shuffles in his spot, “It’s actually kind of similar to you.”

You gasp sarcastically, “no way he pressured you into sex too?”

He laughs, eyes squeezing shut, “No, no, nothing like that.”

You lean closer to Jungkook, giving him the same attention he had given you. “My father left when my mother found out she was pregnant with me, so growing up I had no male figure present in my life. My mother stopped at nothing to give me that to the point that almost every week I’d wake up and see a new man drinking out of my favourite mug. I didn’t mind it because I was only a child and some part of me always hoped they would stay, but they never did.”

“My mom was a hopeless romantic. She held so much sentimental and idealistic views on love that it stuck to me. She always told me that there was someone special out there just for me.” You smile at the similar belief, Jungkook sighs.

“Cut to college, Suho was the first friend I made. I had no experience with girls whatsoever, and I still held on to my mother’s faith. Whenever I talked to Suho about it he would always shut me down or make fun of me.”

“He told me that all my feelings are bullshit, and that I only felt that way because I’ve never hooked up with anyone before. Next thing I knew we were going to parties every week getting absolutely shitfaced and fucking every girl I laid eyes on.”

You nod, listening intently. “And tonight, he hit a nerve. What he said made me realise that I’m just as bad as him. He moulded me into this person and now I have a reputation.”

Jungkook’s eyes drop, “he broke my concept of love before I even got to experience it.”

You never knew Jungkook was in a place like this. You always thought he was like Suho, built to break hearts and show no emotion when it came to love. Jungkook was nothing like that. His heart was truly big, desperately longing for someone.

Placing your hand on top of his own you comfort him as best as you can, “oh, Jungkook, trust me when I tell you this, the love in your heart is not broken. Think about it, most people you’ve met have been through college right?” He nods, “there are so many other people out there that you’ve never met, soon you’ll be able to find that someone and learn how to love. I know you present yourself as this emotionless playboy, but once you let that part of you go it’ll feel so freeing.”

Jungkook stares deeply into your eyes, he’s so thankful that he decided to bring you here, he can’t contain his happiness.

“Can I like, hug you?” Jungkook asks shyly. You smile, and it’s so big and bright Jungkook might as well be staring at the sun. Before he knows it, you’re tackling him into the most wholesome hug he’s ever had. You’re warm and you smell like vanilla, It feels like home.

“Get up”, he says abruptly, extending his arm to pull up your confused self.

“What-”, Jungkook cuts you off, “have you ever just let yourself scream?”

Jungkook has intertwined your hands together, and your heart pounds at the realisation of how well they fit together. “Well, no but I assume that’s what we’re about to do right now.”

He pulls you closer to the edge of the small hill, the view of the city sparkles right in front of you. “On the count of three, one- two- three!”

You scream, you let it all out and God does it feel refreshing.

The two of you sound utterly insane, but none you give a single fuck. You scream until your lungs burn and your throat itches you to stop.

The volume of both of your voices ring out into the night sky only for the moon, stars and yourselves. The night is still young but Jungkook wouldn’t have it any other way.

With you he lets go of everything, all the past mistakes, all the hurt because at this moment he feels like he could fly, soar into the clouds.

He feels infinite.

Taglist <3

@zibermuda @uskookie @jeonscandies @melaninkpops @apollukee @hollowtree10 @liliskies @madygswich @pjmochii @eggbutnotyolk @gyukult @yukiehyukie @purplepearl07 (couldn’t tag) @tae165 @youurkryptonite @94ser0da @french-myfries @zippytheshark37 (couldn’t tag) @we8joon @tearvantae @emrysts @inspinkyring

#ficswithluv #h0neypjm #mine #jungkook #Jungkook Fanfiction #jungkook smut #bts #bts fanfiction #jungkook x reader #bts x reader #jimin #taehyung #hoseok #seokjin #yoongi #namjoon

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moonlit-imagines · 4 years

Text

Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s stepkid

Tony Stark x Potts!child!reader

warnings: alcohol mention

a/n: i rushed these so bad i just wanted to post dhhshsnsna

prompt: y/n is pepper’s kiddo!

it was just you and your mom for a long time

pepper and y/n potts

she couldn’t keep up with you sometimes, too busy dealing with the manchild that was mister anthony edward stark

speaking of—

“uh, who’s this?” -tony, pointing at you

“mr. stark, i am so sorry, the school closed because some kid set fire to the science lab and i didn’t have time to find a sitter—”

“no, it’s fine, no need to apologize. hey, kid, you wanna sit in the boss’s chair? i’ll let you run the company for the day!” *cue you nodding* “sweet, would you mind that, ms. potts?”

“oh? no, not at all” *mouthing* “thank you”

“so, uh, what’s your name? no, don’t tell me: ketchup.”

*giggling* “y/n”

“no way! that was my second guess!”

tony wasn’t used to being around kids

he had no idea that he was actually kind of good around them

despite a few minor hiccups

“you sit in my chair and im gonna spin you around, sound like fun?”

he spun you around WAY too fast and you were diiiiizzy, also you fell off the chair

“don’t tell your mom that we did that. she may be my assistant, but she scares the shit out of me. also, don’t say ‘shit’”

dude he just thought you were a cool kid!!!

“hey, you know, ms. potts, you dont really need to hire a babysitter anymore. y/n’s doing just fine hanging out here”

“how am i not surprised you befriended an actual child?”

she still took him up on his offer, you seemed pretty happy

when your mom worked late, you passed out in tonys office

tony and you had your own little secrets (like falling off the spinning chair), tony showed you around stark tower, and you practically lived there

“i got you a happy meal from mcdonalds!” -tony every day after your school

in all honesty, you weren’t the “popular” kid at school...not even close

but tony made up for it

“y/n! i found this old racecar toy in a box of old stuff, you wanna hold onto it for me?”

you kind of grew up in stark tower tbh? it was pretty cool

and as you grew up, you started to notice more

“mr. tony, do you have a crush on my mom?”

“do i what? no, no, i do—who the hell am i kidding? you caught me”

“called it!”

after that you did everything to try and get them together

when your mom was talking to tony, you would stand behind her and wiggle your eyebrows and just taunt tony endlessly

no! tony cannot remember your mom’s birthday for the life of him! you are his calendar now

“dude, why dont you just ask JARVIS to remind you?”

“i may be a genius, but that doesn’t mean i have common sense”

“wise words, sir” -JARVIS

when tony disappeared for 3 months you were so sad???? like you were not okay at all

and when he came back, he literally exited the plane saying “WHERE’S ‘T-POTT??’”

(your wonderful nickname. ‘t’ for ‘tony jr.’ and ‘pott’ for ‘potts’)

“my mom missed you”

“oh, i bet she did”

“you turned my child into you, tony. i will never forgive you for this”

“well, at least y/n was here to fill in for me, huh?”

tony wanted to show you the arc reactor but he was actually afraid of scarring you lmfaoooo

but he did let you in on the iron man secret (he knew you wouldn’t snitch)

and just to make sure:

“if you dont tell anyone, i’ll buy you a car when you turn 16”

“man, that’s like, forever away”

“good, maybe you’ll forget by then”

ur mom kinda maybe sorta found out abt iron man :/ she told you that tony was a bad influence

“mom! no, tony’s cool! he’s like a superhero”

“no, sweetie, he’s a rich guy with issues. we’re leaving”

that didn’t last long

not long at all

and soon they FINALLY got together

“jeez, i thought you two would never stop pining after each other”

“couldnt have done it without my wingman” -tony *fistbump*

“as thanks can i have my own iron man suit?”

“yes.” *pepper glaring at him* “no.”

sooner or later your mom and you moved into tony’s house and you got a really big room!!!!

it was completely decked out

king sized bed, flatscreen tv, mini-fridge, microwave, computer, your own bathroom with a smaller tv, a poster of tony??? (you vandalized it and put it in his workshop), and more!!!

okay you were spoiled

“do you like it here? are you sure i made the right choice?” -pepper

“are you kidding, mom? this is awesome! plus, you’re happy, i’m happy, tony’s happy, i think JARVIS is even happy!”

“i am, mx. potts. simply ecstatic” -JARVIS

pepper was really happy!! it was a pretty cool family

you started giving your school tony’s number if you ever got in trouble, you knew he’d cover for you

“mr. potts, is it?”

“sure”

“your child, y/n, punched another student in the face today. we’re very disappointed in their behavior”

“why’d they punch the kid?”

“well, the other student punched y/n first”

“HAH! thank you for wasting my time. send y/n back to class and call me back if something important comes up”

he literally gave you a high five when you got home

“i gave him a black eye!”

“i couldn’t be more proud. i mean, i dont condone violence, but self defense is a whole other story”

a little help in the workshop, tony asks you to hold the flashlight

“why don’t you get one of your robots to hold this for you?”

“are you kidding me, you’re complaining? we’re having stepdad/stepkid bonding time! and dum-e can’t do anything right, i dont trust him”

youve had a few theme park trips as a family ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

also tony has 100% told you to wait in the car and then left you alone for 2+ hours

“i’m not like a regular dad, im a step-dad. want some beer? you can have a little sip. i’d rather you do it in the house”

your mother actually does love how he actually cares about you!

“y/n is 12% my responsibility” -tony

“tony, you are impossible” -pepper

no avengering for you! pepper said no!!!!!!

disappointed but not surprised

iron man 3: y/n potts is put through the wringer

Text Message to Mr. Tony: bro you better come get your girl, me and happy are watching this other guy flirting with her. he’s showing her pics of his ‘big brain’

Mr. Tony: HE WHAT

Text Message to Mr. Tony: Tony he looks creepy i don’t want him to be my new stepdad do something!!!

anyways ur house kinda blew up and ur mom and you kinda got kidnapped and u were right abt that guy being creepy and thankfully no experiments were done on you but like your mom kinda almost died and her and tony were fine!!! all good in the end

you met mr. col. james rhodes that day

“aw, you’re the kid ive heard so much about” -rhodey

“you mean the coolest kid in the world?check.”

“you cant tell me you aren’t tony’s biological child, good god”

you got to meet the avengers later on too! (you’d already met natasha tho, only briefly)

“i know it can be a little overwhelming, right? meeting all these heros, legends even—” -rhodey

“oh, my god, is that thor? thor!!” -you, leaving rhodey in the dust

literally why does pepper trust you around tony something always goes wrong there were literally robots attacking, you were only at avengers tower bc your mom was busy with the company and she thought you’d be safe with the avengers. the AVENGERS.

“please dont tell your mom that i created a bad robot that tried to kill us. the robot will be the least of our problems” -tony

he made happy pick you up and you had to miss out on FUN and it sucked a lot

“it’s okay, y/n! i’m fun, too!” -happy

then your mom and tony took a break and your life got mega-boring for a while, but they weren’t separated for that long. you try not to think about it. it was brutal

Mr. Tony: Does she miss me?

New Message to Mr. Tony: I think so. Either that or she’s crying and drinking wine in the dark for no reason.

Mr. Tony: Damn it, now I feel bad. I miss her a lot. Oh, also, the Avengers say ‘hi,’ I’m in Germany with some bad news, I’ll explain later if you don’t see it on TV first, and I found you the perfect friend! His name is Peter and I think you’d like the school he goes to, it’s in Midtown. Smart kid school.

New Message to Mr. Tony: I’ll look into it, thanks. Also, I don’t like how those all connect. Please update me asap

watching the news to see several avengers arrested, cap on the run, and more!

“maybe it was good i didn’t fall in with the avengers”

tony and pepper finally got back together and you actually transferred to midtown high! peter and his friend group accepted you quickly, it was great. you and flash unfortunately had the most in common

you’d literally text happy right next to peter and he’d immediately reply to you. it hurt peter’s feelings

Momma: Sweetie! I’m working in the office late, leftovers are in the fridge, hope you have a wonderful day at school! 💕

👉👈the vulture tried to kill you for being tony’s stepkid, tony made peter promise to protect you

“y/n, you gotta stay out of harm’s way. mr. stark gave me an actual mission and it’s terrifying, i have to make sure you stay safe”

legit why the fuck was this old man tryna kill you bro grow up

anyyyywayssss your mom and tony got engaged!!

“wow, i thought the day would never come!!” -you

ppl told you tony isnt your stepdad bc ur mom and him werent married but who tf asked

why is the earth always in fucking danger

you and peter were just vibing on the field trip bus and all the sudden: space donut

“go! i’ll cover for you...FRIDAY, call tony”

“...hi there, little one”

“what the fuck”

“oh, so you see the aliens, too? well, at least im not crazy”

tony stark has left the atmosphere

you and your mom were kinda......not chillin tho

she and you didn’t sleep for a few nights, then ppl just straight up disappeared

plot twist: you survived the snap and your family was lucky to be alive, you even got a little sister who became a big handful!

only bad thing was all your friends dusted and you were pretty lonely

but watching morgan grow up kept you busy

“ahhh, shes so big!”

happy times in bad times

bad times!!!!! bc after five years thanos came back as thanos from like ten years ago. outdated thanos. obsolete thanos.

but you made your first and only appearance in the suit tony actually designed for you many years ago

you should have just stayed home tho bc that fight didnt pass the vibe check

“please dont tell me he...no, no, no, no, no”

you and your mom latched onto each other in tears, tony was one of the best people in your life, he made you and your mom two of the happiest people on earth

best stepdad a kid could ever ask for

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiantfavs // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @ofthedewthesunlight //

842 notes · View notes

real-fanta-sea · 3 years

Text

Prompt for the kiss no. 71

Prompt: "Not to be cringe or anything, but I really like the idea of the kiss 71 (height difference kisses where one person has to bend down, and the other is on their tippy-toes)...where Trevor is his true height. i.e. Ogg's height and Michael has to stand on his tiptoes to snog him."

I'm sorry, anon, but I saved the post as a draft and it just vanished into thin connection. So, I have to answer this way.

This work is more of a spur of the moment thing, but I kinda like the way it turned out, being it just my emotions spilt onto paper. If you'd like, you can read it on AO3 here, or under read more. I hope you'll like it as much as I enjoyed writing it! :)

tw: kissing, child abuse memories

It's been three weeks already.

An unhealthy greenish glow of flickering light tubes and the icy breath of an industrial refrigerator made him shiver as Michael, gliding on the orbit touching stars in his mind, put yet another box of ready-made microwave hamburgers into his shopping cart. If he were not a regular in this particular shop, he would have got lost. It resembled an anthill with seemingly infinite shelves and aisles, bursting with the merchandise, even though the depressed lights covered everything in the same shade of decay green. The same life outlook was shared with most of the shadows roaming around whose name tags qualified them as proud employees of Flormart.

It's been three weeks, and he still stuck around, hanging on his every word.

Michael pushed his cart further from frozen goods, and the pictures swirling and smearing all around transitioned from photoshopped vegetables to flashy fireworks of chips and other guilty pleasures he planned on indulging in later on. Some people would find the height of the shelves menacing, but to Michael, it was just a memory that pulled him from the orbit back to earth and placed him in the middle of a football pitch. The smell of sweat building up underneath his helmet. The crunch of the crisp lawn under his feet. The spotlight following him whenever he scored. Cheering faceless crowds in time with busty faceless girls' pompoms. But most of all, he felt happy again - needed, cherished, innocent, and with a bright future awaiting his embrace. But then, just as he crossed from the snacks aisle to the alcohol quarter, the football stadium lights flickered and turned bright red. All the faceless girls turned around, their mouths gaping as if someone dislocated their jaws, and the cheering turned into a hellish cry of pain. Where their eyes were supposed to be, he saw a flair, screwing itself deeper into their skull, and a stream of scarlet goo drip down on their immaculate white dresses.

It's been three weeks, and somehow, his puppy-like behaviour didn't irk him yet. Quite the opposite if he were honest with himself - he felt strangely peaceful in his company.

Michael gulped in a desperate attempt to wash down the horror that invited itself under cover of a happy memory. Shaking his head only did so much and dispersed the spectators and cheerleaders alike, in the same way shaking a snowy paperweight would. Michael's chest constricted as he felt unable to breathe in properly, people splatting and exploding upon impact all around him in his mind. Suddenly, he felt a pull under both of his shoulders and found himself flying towards the pitch-black sky, where instead of one moon, two shone down on him. As he flew closer, they shrunk into two amber irises - and Michael immediately knew who pulled him out of the memory. As he crashed into a mass of pink candy cotton clouds, his vision blurred just to clear up when he felt a solid surface under his feet and someones hot hands in his. Somehow, he found himself looking at the tips of abused old pair of sneakers he was wearing, the same pair Michael knew he wore that faithful day at the airstrip. A moment later, a couple of dark blue, equally run-down ones stepped into his field of vision. He slowly let his sight slide up on crumpled jeans, the hem of a military jacket, a pair of dog tags hanging around a slender neck, a sharp jaw, a pair of full dark lips and finally, to the pair of amber eyes, eyes that radiated worry, care and, at the same time, something he could only read as love and utmost devotion.

It's been three weeks since the incident, and anytime he woke up from a nightmare that played in his mind over and over again, he was there to soothe him; he was there waiting for Michael's tears to dampen his naked shoulder. He didn't bitch about it and didn't tell a soul in the morning.

Michael let out a shaky breath. Stopping his feet from casually continuing in their stroll proved harder than he thought, and he leaned on the shopping cart handle, running fingers through his hair. He couldn't decide what mortified him more - the creativity his brain proved to possess when playing out the horrible things he has witnessed in just a few years of his fresh adulthood, or the way it put his acquaintance on some fucking pedestal and presented him as the alpha and omega of his thoughts and desires.

"Hey Michael, are you ok?"

Speaking of the devil... "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I just.." Michael breathed in again and turned towards the source of the voice, trying to display a small smile by twitching his tired lips "I need a smoke, that's all."

It's been three weeks, and he got that tingling feeling in his guts already. He could barely tolerate touch or prolonged eye contact without getting goosebumps and that ticklish feeling solidifying and slicing right into his groin. Michael wanted to believe it was just his weird head showing gratitude for saving his ass, but anytime he found himself in the company of that amber-eyed twink, the longing grew worse.

"Hey, how about a bottle of something to wash the cig down?" said the guy and his oversized jeans jacket hanging from his shoulders cringed into weird shapes as he took one of his hands out of his pocket and pointed his thumb towards the shelves. He looked so adorably dishevelled in all jeans, and with his silky hair framing his hopeful face, Michael couldn't have said no to anything he would suggest. Instead of mustering the strength to say no, Michael threw another smile towards his companion and turned his back to him to choose the dream crusher he wanted to numb them with before they went to bed.

To someone who grew up in a functional family, all the labels and bottle shapes would seem the same. To Michael, however, to choose the right brand and size meant the same as selecting the bananas or avocados of the proper ripeness would for them. It was a work of art; he learned so much in the ten years of living with his stepfather. While scrutinizing the shelves, index finger and thumb scrubbing on the sides of his chin absent-mindedly, he remembered how they would come to the similar shop together, he and his mother's second husband, and how he slipped behind the shelves. At the same time, Frank chatted with the clerk, and he stuffed his lunch box with a large flat bottle of Chief's Heritage Fire Water whiskey. He had to carefully close it to avoid disturbing the aluminium foil that served as a guard from the primitive electronic protection device they had to pass through on their way out. Michael would then tuck his stepfather's sleeve, babble some cute nonsense to get candy from the unsuspicious clerk, and after they paid for the two packs of cigarettes and a beer, they would leave. Frank would let him chug on whiskey then, and if he were in an exceptionally good mood, he would let him sleep through the night without beating the shit out of him.

Finally, spotting the whiskey he knew so well on one of the top shelves, Michael attempted to grasp it but only managed to graze his fingertips against the bottom of one of the bottles that rocked gently upon touch but otherwise didn't move an inch. "Fuck", he uttered under his breath, cracked his neck and stretched onto the tips of his toes, steadying himself by holding onto one of the lower shelves. But, again, he could only touch the bottle but not get a good hold of it. He even contemplated climbing the shelves to get it, as if the shame of his disappointing height haven't already painted his cheeks bright red and didn't make him want to leave the shop right away. Just as he braced himself for the climb, eyes fixed on that damn bottle, a gentle touch of someone's hand squeezing his shoulder made him turn around. It was Trevor's hand, and even though Michael still had to look up to meet his eyes, the small sympathetic smile put him in ease in a blink of an eye.

"Chief's, huh? Good choice, Mike!" the praise in his voice made Michael shiver, and he desperately tried to ignore the warmth he was receiving through the palm still steady on his shoulder and which upset his heart into beating twice as fast as ever before. "My old man used to drink this. It tastes like cat piss but knocks you out good for the buck." Trevor's grin felt like a warm touch sunrise after countless years of freezing darkness. Michael couldn't help but soak in the warmth, allowing himself to lose himself in the feeling completely. "Let me get it for you, eh?" he heard Trevor say from somewhere near, and before he could object, most of the light was obstructed by a jeans-clad chest.

It was then when Michael closed his eyes and tried to get hold of the situation. Trevor, the guy he only knew for three weeks, pushing Michael's back onto the shelves as he leaned for the bottle but also pushing his chest almost to Michael's. If it weren't for a couple of inches of hot air and fabric between them, their bodies would brush against each other. Michael could only gulp when he opened his eyes again, and his mind provided him with the maddening picture of Trevor's naked lean chest, peppered with dark brown hair as if puberty marked its way down towards his groin with it. Michael's head was spinning when he looked up to see Trevor still busy fetching the bottle. Michael's racing imagination saw him grabbing the guy's head, crashing lips with his and dissolving into what he thought would be the best kiss he would ever receive. Michael gulped again. He had to have him.

He was anxious about the way it was too easy to raise both his hands and grab fists full of other man's jacket as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Michael didn't fight it when he felt his muscles pull on the fabric and only turned his gaze up to where he expected Trevor's eyes to look once he would feel the movement of his clothes. Michael didn't have to wait for it at all, actually; the puzzled expression was already waiting for him to drink it up. However, he couldn't maintain the contact for too long as his eyes focused on something completely different; the dark lips, deliciously parted in the unspoken question. The distance between his own and them unnerved him, and in the sparking silence, Michael again propped himself onto the tips of his toes, pressed harder on the fabric to steady himself and, closing eyes, pressed his lips to Trevor's.

For a delicious moment, the world fell apart as if some invisible force made the dimensions crash down. The trembling soft firmness against his lips sent shivers down his spine with each cautious move. Whenever Michael recalled the moment years later, he could always sense the faint smell of cigarettes, petrol and sun mixing between their bodies and the way the ground shook and cried under his feet when he felt Trevor's palms slide down his sides and pull him closer, effectively sweeping him off his feet.

Trevor seemed to be relishing at the moment as much as Michael was, but when he felt solid ground under his feet again, and the pair of arms letting go of him, Michael reluctantly broke the kiss with a coquettish wet pop and tried to catch his lost breath. Then, leaning against the shelves again, he only dared to peek up when his cheeks stopped burning from what felt like a mixture of acid and a marathon run. Trevor's face might as well have been a mirror, for he looked down on Michael with eyes wide, face red and lips wet and trembling as if he didn't get a grasp of reality yet. Michael couldn't help but let the anxiety scream right to his face in the voice of his stepfather - and there were thousands of things he might have ruined then and there, just because he didn't fight his stupid queer side, because he let himself kiss another man, because by the twisted chain of mistakes he fell from what could have been a good life to longing after a rabid smuggler in the middle of a liquor aisle.

Just as he was about to duck under Trevor's arm and run away from the voice and feelings of shame it brought about, he was stopped by a gentle, almost shy touch of a hot palm on his cheek. The slender fingers brushed against his face in such a delicate way Michael's heart skipped a beat, and closing his eyes, he leaned into the touch, seeking the soothing silence it brought with the warmth. The hand fit his cheek like a glove, Michael mused as he relaxed into slow movements of fingertips on his temples. Right there, at that moment, everything felt so right, so natural. Why has he deprived himself of the delicious heat for three weeks when somewhere deep inside, where the beating of his heart always gave away the truth, he knew he needed it from the start - well, Michael didn't know. Instead, he slid his arms around Trevor's waist and buried his face into his chest.

"Michael?"

The vibrating echo of his name, spoken in such a husky yet caring way, made Michael squeeze his arms around Trevor even tighter. He sought the last bits and pieces of it before he dared to speak up himself, afraid of spoiling the delicious contentment of the moment.

"Let's get out of here."

A gentle kiss on top of his head and long arms lacing his shoulders later, Michael found himself too far from Trevor for comfort. But even with the newly gained distance between them, a quick glance sideways has provided him with a sight of a beaming smile and a fire deep inside Trevor's eyes that made his own lips twitch into a happy upwards bow. As they rolled into the checkout, Michael has noticed the world has changed as well. The depressing shade of green has somehow transitioned into a welcoming warm white; the shadows that they passed by on their way in suddenly bloomed into happy faces. The various packings of goods exploded in all the colours of the rainbow. As Michael and Trevor emerged into the darkness of the parking lot, ready to relive their revelation in thousands of ways, Michael has felt at peace with himself for the first time in forever. The days of the inner night were over.

#michael de santa #trevor philips #trikey #kissing prompts #gta v fic #real_fanta_sea.txt

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jaceyneedsabetterusername · 4 years

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Jack’s Friends

Pairing: Chris Motionless x Mom!Reader

Warnings: None

Summary: Y/N has a daughter from a previous relationship that is her world and she’s always kept her away from her boyfriends in the past but when things start getting serious with Chris, she decides to introduce the two of them.

A/N: GUYS I SAW MIW IN CONCERT A FEW DAYS AGO AND THERE ARE SO MANY THOUGHTS (most of them not very PG) RUNNING THROUGH MY MIND ABOUT THESE INHUMANLY ATTRACTIVE MEN SO LOOK OUT CAUSE THERE’S SOME MORE MIW STUFF COMING SOON

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This was a big day. Today was the day that you were going to introduce Chris to your daughter for the first time. You’d been very candid with him about the fact that you had a kid from the beginning of your relationship, knowing that if that wasn’t something he could handle, he needed to leave then and there. It had happened before with other men in the past (including her father). It was a tale as old as time: boy meets girl, girl falls in love with boy and thinks he loves her back, girl finds out she’s pregnant, boy runs away with his drug dealer that he’d been having an affair with for months. Classic.

Chris was surprisingly okay with the fact that you had a child though. You were terrified to tell him because it had been a long time since you felt about anyone the way you did about Chris and you didn’t want to lose him. With his career and everything, he didn’t exactly strike you as the ready to be a father type (not that that’s exactly what you expected of him but you were thinking long term and, if you stayed together long term, the fact of the matter was that he would be a father figure).

This was the first time that you’d ever let her meet a boyfriend of yours. She wasn’t even born yet when her father walked out but the last thing you wanted to subject her to was an onslaught of men that may or may not stick around. She didn’t deserve that.

Chris knew how important this was to you as well. He knew how badly that asshole had hurt you in the past and, quite frankly, he couldn’t figure out how anyone could leave you like that.

Chris had surprised himself when he’d told you that he was alright with you having a daughter. Kids had never really been something that he ever saw as apart of his plan but after dating you for several months, he knew that you were special, that you were different. After thinking it over for a day or two, he’d decided that he would be willing to still go on with your relationship, even with a child involved.

That didn’t stop him from being absolutely terrified when he walked up to your front door though. He paused for a moment, taking a deep breath to calm himself down. Calm down, she’s literally three.

But that’s just it. This wasn’t just any three year old. This was your three year old. The three year old of the woman that he was falling harder for than he ever expected to.

Finally, he rapped his knuckles on the door. He waited, hands in his pockets for you to answer the door but instead of the door opening, he heard you yell from inside, “Wait! Stop! Let Mommy open the door!” Something fell with a thud and you let out a disgruntled sigh. There was hysterical baby laughter and Chris had a feeling it was you that fell. The handle to the door jiggled with little skill and, again, your voice called after the infant, “I said stop! You can’t open the door when you don’t know who it is!”

Chris tried to stifle his laughter when the door swung open to reveal you with your hair messy from falling inside trying to beat your kid to the front door. “Hi!” You greeted with a wide smile.

“You okay?” He asked with a chuckle, reaching forward to fix a stray hair that had flipped over your part.

You rolled your eyes, hands on your hips, “I’m fine. I just need somebody to listen better. She’s started trying to answer the door and my phone when it rings.” You shot a glare at your daughter who had an innocent smile on her face. “Oh, speaking of which,” You walked into your living room and motioned for Chris to follow. You walked over and picked up your small daughter, “This is Y/D/N. Y/D/N, this is Mommy’s friend Chris.”

“Hi!” Chris greeted with a smile.

Your daughter flinched away with a shy smile, burying her face into your chest. She was looking at Chris and all of his tattoos, as well as his drawn on eyebrows. You could tell she was trying to figure out who this strange dude in her home was.

“Sorry, she’s always like this with new people.” You set her down and let her go run off to play with some of her toys. “Dinner’s almost ready if you’re hungry.”

Chris’s hands returned to his pockets as he nodded awkwardly, “Oh, um sure. I wasn’t expecting for you to make dinner.”

“Well, I just figured that it was around that time of night and I had to feed Y/D/N anyways. Does pasta sound okay? I made fettuccine alfredo. There’s salad and stuff too.”

“Yeah, that sounds great. Thank you.” He smiled. You craned your neck back to make sure that Y/D/N was out of the room and when you knew that she was, you reached forward and gripped Chris by the collar of his shirt, pulling his lips to yours in a quick peck.

“Thank you for coming over tonight. You know, I swear she really is like this with almost everyone. It’s not just you.” You reassured with a laugh.

He shrugged, “She’s freaking adorable. She must get it from her mom.”

You blushed a deep red. His compliments never ceased to make you feel giddy, even after these last five months.

The night went on and you found yourselves sitting in the living room on the couch. You leaned back against Chris’s body, his long arms wrapped around your shoulders. Your daughter laid in your lap as you all watched the Nightmare Before Christmas, one of your daughter’s favorite movies and thankfully, one of yours and Chris’s too.

You gently played with her hair while rubbing Chris’s thigh in absentminded circles with the other.

Just as Jack Skellington made it to Christmas Land, your daughter twisted in your lap and leaned back on her knees, “Momma, popcorn please?” She widened her eyes and blinked dramatically in an attempt to mimic the begging puppy dog eyes she’d seen in a cartoon once.

“You know what? Popcorn does sound pretty good. I’ll go make some real quick.” You announced, standing up from your place on the couch.

“Do you want me to pause the movie?” Chris asked, sitting up straighter until you put your hand up.

“Oh no! I’ve seen it dozens of times. You guys enjoy. I’ll be right back.” You disappeared into the kitchen and put a package of popcorn in the microwave. While it popped, you thought back to Chris who’s obvious nervousness about meeting Y/D/N had faded away so quickly. They seemed so comfortable with each other now. Some part of your brain that housed your fantasies could almost say you felt like a family with an actual father in the picture.

The beeping of the microwave drew back your attention to the popcorn and you poured that bag into a bowl, adding another bag just for good measure (you could never really have too much popcorn, right?).

You went to make your way back to the living room when you stopped in your tracks, admiring the scene taking place from afar. Your daughter was sitting on Chris’s lap as if they’d known each other forever, pointing at the colorful marks all over his skin. “What’s this?” She asked, grabbing his hands and trying to read the letters on his knuckles, “L-O-S-...” She struggled to find the name for the next letter.

“T,” Chris helped, “See,it keeps going onto my other hand too. It says Lost Boys.”

Your daughter looked confused, “Lost Boys? Why are they lost?”

Chris laughed an adorable laugh that dang near could have gotten you pregnant again just from hearing it, “It’s a movie actually. It’s all about vampires.” He feigned a spooky voice and reached forward to tickle her.

A high pitched laughter filled the room, “Like the vampires in Halloween Town!” She exclaimed excitedly.

“Yeah, I guess! I also have some ghosts over here and jack-o-lanterns.” He pointed to other parts on his arms and neck.

Your daughter looked at him with adoration, “Wow, you have all of Jack’s friends!” Then she gasped, “Are you one of Jack’s friends!?”

A look flashed in Chris’s eyes that was soft and happy. It’s not that he was usually a dark angry person all the time anyways but seeing him your daughter was different. You couldn’t believe how well they were getting along. Not that you were worried about Chris but after everything with her biological father, you couldn’t say that you weren’t exactly scared of introducing men to her. “Y’know, I wish I was one of Jack’s friends! Living in Halloween Town would be so cool. It would be Halloween all the time!”

“We could have Halloween candy all the time!”

That was your que to step in before he got her too much more riled up, “Okay, okay, scoot over! Mommy wants her friend back!” You laughed, setting the popcorn on the table and reaching down to readjust you and your daughter.

Before you could grab her though, she clung to Chris’s neck, “No! He’s my friend now!”

Chris’s eyes got wide at the sudden embrace but he grabbed her in a hug nonetheless, “Yeah, sorry Mommy, we’re friends now.” He mimicked, holding onto her tightly, big smiles on both of their faces.

You feigned offense, “Y’know what?” Without warning, you reached down and scooped her up, spinning her around to sit on your lap while you resumed your position of leaning against Chris’s chest, “Haha, got you!” You held her tightly with one hand while you grabbed the popcorn with the other to distract her with.

“Ladies, there’s enough of me to go around!” Chris joked, his arm snaking back over your shoulders. Giving him an exasperated look, you reached into the popcorn bowl and threw a few pieces at your boyfriend.

Soon the three of you were settled into each other’s arms again and you were all happily watching Lock, Shock, and Barrel kidnap Santa. Beneath you, you felt Chris shift and hand rubbed small circles on your shoulder. Y/D/N was asleep on your lap and for once you felt like maybe you could let a man back into your life like this.

For the first time in forever, things felt right. Chris looked comfortable around you. The real you with toys scattered around your house and hair a mess from chasing your three year old. He seemed comfortable around your daughter, the light of your life and the one thing that mattered most to you.

Looking up at him, his strong, handsome face outlined with tattoos and dyed black hair, you thought that maybe you might even be able to say that you loved him. You knew you felt it but it was hard to admit, hard to tell him and let him in like that. But now that he met Y/D/N and things went well, maybe, just maybe, things would work out this time.

#chris motionless #chris motionless imagine #chris motionless x reade #chris motionless fluff #miw #motionless in white #miw imagines #miw drabble #miw fanfic #motionless in white fanfic #motionless in white imagines

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starfairyqueen · 3 years

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Speaking of my mom, its odd, last year she was talking about how Yule (Christmas) had to he canceled because she couldn't risk catching covid from having a bunch of people over. She usually throws what she calls, munchie parties, and everyone comes over and hangs out and eats and stuff. She said the magic was gone there. She doesn't see, she IS the magic. She's the first sign of spring, and purple flowers, and spring faries, and sunlight through the trees. She could make a train wreck look like a ballet. She has this wonderful talent of spinning shit into gold. She could make the worst situations good. We lived through a lot of rough shit, but she was always there trying to make it better and it amazes me cause I dont know where she got it from, her parents weren't affectionate at all. Her father was so abusive he was the cause of my grandmother's brain hemorrhage that killed her from bashing her head in all the time. My grandmother was kind but very proper so affection just wasn't really one of those things she gave easily. I'm sure she loved my mom, but in many ways, lacked the ability to show it. My mom was basically a doll. Dressed up, trained and made to act right and sent to boarding school. By 10 she had a mental break down from all the abuse, she said she used to run in the snow barefoot in NH with her mom in her nightgown cause her dad would get drunk and shoot a gun at them. And I grew up to watch my mom get beat too but she was smart enough to get out eventually. I've also landed myself in abusive relationships but also got out but it scares me for my daughters. Hopefully the cycle doesn't repeat itself. But through everything we lived through, she'd make cake with broken fingers and black eyes and act like she was ok the whole time, she never let it show that she hurt because she was always trying to be strong for us. She'd make dinner every night almost. I literally ate mc Donald's like 10 times my entire childhood cause mom made sure we ate real food. She taught me to read, to speak, to cook and clean, to stand up for myself, to fear no one. Her infamous words "pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keeo going" I really don't know how she did the things she did. She had me at 38. I'm 31 and if I had a kid now it would be very very hard, let alone at 38. Jesus. I couldn't have even blamed her if she didn't keep me. I dont think I could at that age. She's what kept all of us together. Without her, ill probably never speak to most of my siblings again but most of us, with the exception of one, our oldest brother, he's a sociopath and would microwave his own baby let alone ever loving his mother. I swear that man is not my moms child. Switched at birth of something. None of us are perfect but nobody else acts like the career con he is, but the rest of us all have a common love for my mom so we at least come together enough to be civil to make her happy. But without her, there is no common ground really. I never knew my father, he died when I was 12. Three months before I was able to find him. Thats my luck lol. So mom has been my mom and my dad. Besides my kids, she's all I really have for family. I feel like I will feel so alone without her. Sorry. Just a lot on my mind and nowhere to put it. My fiancee lost his mom a year ago so I don't even want to talk to him about it because I know it'll just remind him of his mom and make him sad too. I'd get therapy but there's nothing anyone can do or say to make it better, when the time comes, it's just gonna hurt and that's really all there is to it and I'm gonna have to let myself be sad for a while. Somehow, I know I'll go on, but right now I feel like I wouldn't be surprised at all if everything just dissolved and the sun stopped shining and nothing existed without her. I'll be amazed when the sun rises again because I don't know how anything could exist without her, she's always been here. At least in my existence. I don't know one without her but it scares the shit out of me. I'm 800 miles away and I don't even like not being able to see her often. 😪

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ficdirectory · 7 years

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Blink (An AU Fosters family fic) Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

“Mariana, no. He is out of control,” Mom hisses.

Mom’s the out of control one, but Mariana doesn’t say as much. “Seriously,” she says instead. “I know what to do. You’re not helping.”

She turns pleading eyes to Mama, because Jesus is still screaming, not even aware that she’s here and she’ll help. She can’t reassure him until all the hyper energy gets out of here.

“Let’s let them be,” Mama nods. “Mariana, you call for us if you need us.”

“Yeah,” she says, as they clear out. But she’s not focused on them. She’s focused on Jesus. Brandon finally gets himself out from behind Jesus and runs back upstairs like he’s on fire.

She waits until everyone’s gone and it’s quiet except for Jesus, and then she crouches in front of him, talking to him in a tone that’s firm and in control. He does best if he feels like he can trust whoever’s around to be calm but confident enough that he can trust them to keep him safe.

“Jesus, it’s Mariana. I’m your backup, right? Always.” She comes as close as she dares without actually touching him. She needs him to register she’s actually there before she intervenes. When his yelling tapers off, she knows it’s getting in that she’s there. He’s still slamming himself into the wall, but the panic’s not at such a high point now.

“I’m here to help,” she continues, keeping her voice low and calm. She offers a hand, and he stares at it. Wary. “Can you take my hand? So I can help you?”

His eyes flicker to hers. His fingers flex, and then he grasps her hand hard. She offers the other and he takes that, too.

“Okay. I’ve got you. Stand up?” she prompts, careful to make it a question, not a command.

It takes him several seconds to actually do it. His body seems sluggish, like he’s been in the same position forever. The minute he’s up, though, she leads him to the middle of the room, and sits. He mirrors her, sitting down cross-legged, too. Their knees would be touching if they were the same size. They’re still holding hands.

“Look at my eyes, and breathe slow. Match my breathing. Like this,” she takes an exaggerated slow breath and lets it out.

Jesus does, too, a few seconds later. They do this until they’re in sync with each other. Until he seems more focused. More here.

She doesn’t talk. When he tries, she can see him tense up, the rocking gets more intense, so she cues him to breathe instead. It takes a long time for him to be able to talk at all. But Mariana’s patient. Knows he needs to know that she has time for him. That she can’t be in a rush. The point of this whole thing, she’s pretty sure, is that there’s been too much frantic energy, and not enough clear communication and calm energy.

“Are you okay?” she asks gently.

He nods. Shrugs. Finally, shakes his head no. The rocking looks exhausting, but he’s obviously not in control of it, or it’s serving some other purpose for him.

“He was behind me…” Jesus whispers, his eyes dark. Worried.

“Brandon was behind you, yeah,” Mari confirms.

“I didn’t say yes…”

Mariana takes a slow deep breath, so her own anger doesn’t show. She gets that they were just trying to help, but something like that makes things so much worse for him. Why didn’t Moms get her in the first place? She’s always there when Jesus is panicky. They know what each other needs. He knows what she needs, too. Has helped her before.

“Then he shouldn’t have done that,” she says firmly.

“They asked me about it freshman year - about him being there instead of Mom - but the way they said it it was like they already decided...so what was I supposed to say?” he asks softly.

Tears shine in his eyes and make a lump rise in Mariana’s own throat. She swallows them back, but he’s already seen them, and the rocking gets intense again. Almost frantic.

“Hey. I’m okay. Do me a favor and look at our knees. Are they touching?”

“I can’t stop,” he says, begging.

“You’re okay. I’ve got you. Look at our knees.”

He does.

“Are they touching?”

“No.”

“Okay. What about our hands? Can you tell me if they’re touching?”

“Yeah…” he manages, sniffing once. “It’s my fault. This whole thing. They hate me. I know better. I did it when I know better.”

In seconds, he’s looking distant again and she squeezes his hands hard. “Stay with me, okay? This is not your fault. Whatever happened. Can I ask you something?” she asks and waits for him to nod. “Did you eat dinner tonight?”

When he doesn’t respond, she moves to his side. Asks him to stand up with her. She holds onto him, and they walk together to the fridge. The whole time, Mariana narrates what she’s doing. Why. Who the food’s for. While they wait for the microwave to beep, she catches a flash of something like agony in his eyes.

“I’m going to make sure you can eat, okay?”

He swallows. Nods. She keeps a good grip on him. Makes sure they’re standing in the middle of the room, still. Not by any walls or surfaces. He’s still rocking on his feet, back and forth. She sways with him. Maybe it will help.

It was easy enough for Moms to overlook, considering they were losing their minds about Jesus being gone. Mari, herself, had experienced a wall of numbness and shock she hadn’t known was still in her. This time, there had been tears. Because this time she knew just how long it could be before she saw him again.

But growing up how she and Jesus had, Mariana knew food would always be an issue. It was for her, in subtler ways. In the way her own heartbeat sped up yesterday at the sight of the empty cupboards and fridge. In the desperation she felt when she let them know there was no food here.

For her, Mom going grocery shopping had been enough to kill the feeling, but Jesus has years more experience with food issues than she does. He needs to eat. On time. Every day. Or he spins out of control.

When the microwave beeps, she walks him out to the living room with the plate. If he’s on the couch, the rocking won’t hurt anything.

Jesus wraps his arms around his stomach, still rocking. His eyes are focused on the plate full of chicken, potatoes and peas, but he doesn’t make a move for it.

So she does.

Mariana takes the plate and scoops a bite of mashed potatoes for him. Holds it out. It takes a while for him to take it, because she’s not about to force him to eat. He has to feel okay opening his mouth on his own. And if she’s patient enough, he can get there.

She keeps up a steady rhythm, and they’re making progress. Mariana’s eyes wander to behind Jesus where Mama is walking soundlessly into the living room, where she leaves Jesus’s blanket on the coffee table, next to his bottle of super-intense anxiety meds, for when he has panic attacks and can’t get control of himself.

She makes eye contact with him. Sees the way he shakes his head at the pills.

“I won’t make you take it. You calmed down by yourself, right?”

“Yeah,” he manages between bites. His voice is hoarse.

He finishes, and she checks in with him again. “Can I put your blanket around you?”

“I just wanna hold it.”

Mariana nods, giving it to him to hold onto.

“Can you keep holding me?” he asks.

“I can,” Mariana nods. “You know it’s not your fault?”

He shakes his head. “I don’t feel anything.” (Jesus sounds numb, how she felt earlier tonight, when she thought he might be missing again.)

“It’s a scary feeling, but I’m here. No matter what, I’m here.”

“Nothing makes sense.”

She’s quiet, just holding him tighter. She keeps Moms back. Keeps it really low-key for the rest of the night. Even though Frankie should be in bed, she insists she wants to see Jesus.

“You okay to see Frankie for a bit?” Mariana checks. “You don’t have to if you’re not ready. Or if you don’t feel safe.”

“No, I want to,” he says.

Frankie scoots down all the stairs on her butt. She needs to see her best buddy, Jesus.

She walks very quiet to the living room where Jesus is on the couch. She just needs to see him. She doesn’t know why. Her brain is just telling her it needs to see him really bad.

Stopping in front of him, Frankie just looks, no touching. (‘Specially no touching without asking.)

“Hey,” Jesus says, like his voice is broken.

“Hey,” she says back.

He uncrunches his yellow blanket from his hands and puts it spread-out on his lap. Then pats it. Nods his head at her.

“Cuddle?” she whispers, not moving.

“Yeah. Cuddle. Come here, buddy,” Jesus says.

So Frankie climbs up and she’s stuck not turned around, so they’re staring at each other, but not rude. She wraps her arms around his neck, and her body shakes. She doesn’t know why. Just, maybe Jesus got tooken to another bad guy’s house and Frankie could never see him again.

“I heared you screaming that word back up. No bad guys can get you. I’m your super strong forceshield. No bad things get in when I hold onto you like this, huh?” she whispers in his ear.

Frankie’s voice is shaking but she makes it talk. Needs her buddy to know that she’ll protect him from all the bad things, bad guys, bad everything.

Mariana’s there, and holding onto Jesus, too. So they’re all stuck together.

“Thank you, buddy. That helps,” Jesus says. He wraps her in his yellow blanket and holds onto her and she feels like the most amazing. She never got to be inside of the yellow blanket before.

She lays her head down and listens to his heart go inside his chest. That means he’s all alive and okay. “These stairs got big railings for giants. And really slippery steps.”

“When you go down them...” Jesus tells her quiet and slow. “Or up them... And if no one’s there with you, you yell for me. I’ll come and help you. Don’t worry about indoor voice. You make sure I hear you, so I know you need help.”

“Then what?” she asks, almost-sleeping-but-not.

“Then, I’ll help you. I’ll help you walk safely.”

“That’s how come you yelled, right? So Mari heared and came and helped you.”

“Yeah. That’s right,” he nods, patting her on the back the best way she likes. It makes her go right to sleep.

Jesus holds Frankie for a long time. It’s calming, because kinda like Pearl, he feels like Frankie understands him. And she’s tiny, but she’s big enough that she grounds him. For a while, every time Mariana tried to take her and lay her down upstairs, she’d make this crying noise, and he’d say to leave her.

“Do you need to talk to Moms tonight?” Mariana asks, finally giving up on him putting Frankie down for the time being. She’s holding on tight to his collar, even in sleep.

“They hate me,” he says, sure of it. “They blamed me. Said I knew better. Like I did it on purpose.”

“So, you do need to talk to them? But not if they’re freaked out,” she says at the same time as Jesus adds, “But not if they’re freaked out.”

She grins. So does he. “Twins,” they chorus.

“I asked them to do Porch Time. You know, like calm down. Let’s talk about this and be really calm and clear about what you mean, but Mom said no.”

“Yeah, I hope her and Mama are doing some breathing and grounding…” Mariana comments sarcastically. “I’ll stay, if you wanna talk to them together. You guys shouldn’t go to bed with things this messy between you.”

“Callie,” she calls, seeing their sister in the kitchen after a late-night snack.

“Yeah?”

“Come sit with Jesus a second? I’m gonna put Frankie to bed and get Moms.”

“Sure. Here. Catch.”

Jesus has his hands up before he even knows what he’s catching. He snags the single, wrapped piece of cheese. Callie sits beside him with her own.

Frankie keeps clinging on him like a vine and whining when Mariana tries to take her out of Jesus’s arms.

“It’s okay, buddy. I’m here. I’m gonna be here tomorrow. We’ll hang out and play. I promise.”

But the only way she’s calm and doesn’t totally wake up freaked out is if they leave the blanket around her.

“It’s fine,” he says.

“I’ll find Night-Night when we go upstairs and bring yours back,” Mariana says.

Callie sits beside him on the couch. Her cheese is already gone. Slowly, he opens his. Nibbles a corner. Then puts the whole rest of it in his mouth and swallows, barely chewing.

“Guess what?” she asks conspiratorially.

He inclines his head her way.

“I failed at Candy Land. Frankie beat me. Like, she literally won the whole game.”

“Nice,” he says, smiling a little.

“Missed you tonight,” she says lightly. “Were you okay?”

“Yeah...I uh...met the neighbor…” he shares.

“Grandpa has a neighbor?”

“Yeah. Let me use the computer to talk to Dr. H.”

“That’s awesome,” Callie says, impressed. “So, Moms don’t want you over there or what?”

“We...uh...didn’t get that far,” he admits.

Mariana walks back in with Moms, and Callie gets up and leaves them alone to talk. Sitting back down on the couch, Mariana gives Jesus his blanket back, as promised.

Moms sit in chairs across the room, quiet. Mom’s eyes look red. Mama looks so tired.

Jesus reaches for Mariana’s arms and puts them around himself. He feels better this way. He’s about to speak up, but at the last second, it’s like the words are all jammed inside. Just like that, he’s restless again.

“Sit up. Tall,” Mariana whispers. “You’ve got this. I’m here.”

Jesus tries. It helps. A little. But he still can’t talk. ‘Cause if he tries he’s afraid he’s just gonna lose it and either self-destruct or cry. He’s not ready for them to see him with his guard down again. Not this soon.

He nods at Mariana.

“Jesus needs you to know that he’s worried that you guys blame him for what happened. He thinks you hate him.”

“Why isn’t he telling us himself?” Mom asks.

An undercurrent of something zips through Jesus’s body making him shudder.

“Because we can both tell you’re angry right now, and I’m pretty sure he’s using all his energy to stay in control. He doesn’t have anymore to use to make sure he advocates for himself in the right way, because there is no right way.”

Jesus’s eyes widen. Wow. Mariana really does have his back.

“He tried to talk to you guys about what he needed, and you shut him down,” Mariana says evenly. “So now you’re getting it from me.”

“Tell them how you feel,” Jesus sees Mama whisper to Mom. They’re like two islands, both hurting and needing somebody else to help them to make things right.

“I’m not angry…” Mom manages. Her voice sounds strained. Strange. “I’m scared.”

“Why?” Jesus asks.

“Because I thought we’d lost you again…and I was the last person to see you. If something had happened to you, I’d have blamed myself. I do blame myself.” She clears her throat. “It’s hard for me to talk about that, so instead, I blamed you. And I am so sorry. I don’t hate you. It’s just the opposite. I love you so much I can’t bear the thought of losing you.”

“But you didn’t listen to what I needed. And you thought I was faking or something when I was really needing help,” he says, feeling goosebumps rise on his arms. Hadn’t he just said the same thing to Pearl?

“That was poorly handled by me.” Mom admits. “I should have stepped away and taken a break if I wasn’t going to help the situation.”

“You made it worse. So much worse by what you said…” he says, not able to look her in the eye. “You said something that...it’s my worst fear, okay?”

“Okay. Mama explained. I have a lot I need to work on. And I think that for the time being...until I can be calmer for you...I need to take a step back and let Mama help you.”

“Are you mad?”

“Not at all. But I am feeling a little raw. And when that happens, I can say things I don’t mean and do more harm than good. Since I don’t want to hurt you with what I’m saying, I’m going to take a step back. Is that clear?” she asks.

Jesus nods, cautious. “Can I say what I heard?”

“Please,” Mama encourages.

“So, you can’t help if I’m overwhelmed...because you’re overwhelmed...and you might say stuff that hurts my feelings, you’re gonna keep your distance and let Mama help?”

“Yes, that’s right. It doesn’t mean I don’t love you, Jesus. It means I do. Very much.”

He stands and walks over to her. Nods for her to stand, too. “Hug?” he asks.

She puts her arms around him.

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes.

“I’m sorry, too, my baby. Is your head okay?”

“Yeah. I think…” he ventures.

“Okay.”

She’s waiting for something, he can tell. He looks at her, questions in his eyes.

“I do not blame you. This was not your fault. I just need you to tell me when your plans change. And I would very much like to know where you were. When you’re ready to share.”

“I got stuck. Couldn’t move. Outside. And someone came and helped me.”

“Okay. I’m very glad to know that someone helped you, Jesus. But we need to know where you are.”

“Yeah.”

“So you need to tell us, yes?”

He nods.

“Okay. Is there anything else you need to tell us?” Mom asks.

There is so much, but there isn’t time for it all. So he thrusts his hand out for Mom to read.

“Water? Right, they made you get rid of your water at the airport. We can help with that.”

They give him several bottles, and he keeps them all next to him. They say good night, and once everyone is in bed, Jesus checks the locks and the windows. Then he brings his backpack and his blanket and his sweatshirt under the table. His three waters.

He takes all the blankets from the living room and makes his tent again so no one looking in the giant window can see him sleeping there.

Then he curls up and tries to sleep.

But his head hurts. And his heart hurts. And there is still so much wrong.

He thinks about Pearl next door. Does she ever feel like this?

Maybe if Jesus can ever go back and talk to her, he’ll ask her. He tries to think about the safest thing from today. Grace, Pearl’s dog, fills his mind.

He falls asleep picturing her face.

#fic: blink #fosters fic

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