#this fandom by design is meant to have arguing and debating and it does lead to good things

[kiqilinn]

milgram?

MILGRAM GOD. MILGRAMMMMM

[wonholes]

All In For You | Chapter Four

Summary: The story, written in third-person, follows main character Shin Hoseok during a difficult time in his life. Struggling to stay alive, Hoseok lives his life from day-to-day, an outcast with a broken past and juvenile record. Basically living on the streets, his only true comfort comes from his friends who treat him as their leader. When his past comes back to haunt him in ways he can’t fully comprehend, only his closest friend has the capability to pull him back into reality.

Fandom: Monsta X

Pairing: Wonho/Minhyuk (Wonhyuk, Leatherpaws), M/M

Rating: Mature (Explicit content may be added later)

Genre: Realistic Fiction, Drama, Romance

Characters: Wonho, Minhyuk, Shownu, Kihyun, Jooheon, Hyungwon, Changkyun

Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, eventual explicit content

Exclaimer: Any writing submitted by myself does not reflect the real members of Monsta X or Starship Entertainment. Any dialog or actions written in this piece is based solely on fiction and does not infer that the members would act this way. This was created purposely for fan entertainment and is not factual.

I would like to personally thank @wonholypeach for being my beta reader for this fic and for designing the header image. She was basically my co-author in many ways, for not only helping me edit but for taking the time out of her day to create the header and for letting me go over ideas with her. We both spent several days working on this to make sure that everything was perfect, so speaking for the both of us, we hope that you enjoy it.

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Five | Chapter Six

Chapter Four

No one attempted to follow him. Hoseok wasn’t sure how long he’d been walking. It could have been minutes or several hours; he’d lost track of time as he trudged further and further away from his friends and the thug that he’d nearly beaten to death.

He couldn’t go back to his apartment. That would be the first place they’d look to find him. He couldn’t go see his mother either--he hadn’t a steady income in quite some time and had nothing to give back to her if she offered to take him in for the time being. Impulse caused him to venture to the only place he ever seemed to gain any sort of self-control and peace of mind; the gym.

Picking the lock on the back door, Hoseok entered without much difficulty and made his way inside. It was well past midnight and no one was working, but he kept his guard up just in case, practically tip-toeing through the facility. When he finally found what he was looking for he removed his shirt and jacket and wrapped his hands in bandages that he knew were stored away. After the bandages were fastened he approached a punching bag that was secured from the ceiling and began hitting it, letting out all of the fury that was still trapped inside of him from earlier. He sent several jabs and blows in different directions, timing each punch perfectly so that the bag held no resistance. When he wasn’t hitting it with his fists he was sending several strikes with his feet and knees, punching and kicking until he was bathed in sweat. In his last rush of adrenaline he shouted and smacked the punching bag, hurting his fist in the process but he didn’t register any pain. He leaned onto it, trying hard to hold back any tears--too tired from having cried so much the day before.

“You’ll only hurt yourself if you keep at it like that,” Shownu said.

Hoseok turned to the voice, seeing his eldest friend standing in the far corner of the room. Shownu approached him, watching Hoseok from the other side of the punching bag.

“I don’t care,” Hoseok replied, looking away.

Shownu shook his head. “Let me see your hand.”

“It’s nothing,” Hoseok replied, moving away. He had in fact injured his hand in the process, blood seeping through the bandages on his knuckles.

“Minhyuk’s okay. We took him to a hospital,�� Shownu stated. “He’s worried about you.”

“He shouldn’t be,” Hoseok replied, almost wanting to chuckle.

“We’re all worried about you,” Shownu remarked.

“I could’ve killed him, Shownu. I nearly killed a man,” Hoseok said. “I’ve had a rough life, I get that. I’ve been through Hell and back. I’ve knocked so many men unconscious in the ring that I’ve lost count, but never in my life has anything like that ever happened.”

“You were protecting your friend.”

“It wasn’t that,” Hoseok replied, his voice trembling. “I don’t know what it was.”

Shownu placed a hand on Hoseok’s shoulder, getting the other’s attention. “I’ve seen you fight and that’s what it was. It was self defense.”

Hoseok was shaking his head, still not convinced. “I don’t know. I don’t know anymore.”

Shownu embraced him before Hoseok could argue, holding onto him and patting his back. It wasn’t like how Minhyuk hugged him; Shownu was much larger, with broad shoulders and arms that seemed like they could squeeze the life out of him if he wanted to. Although he meant well it didn’t seem to ease any of Hoseok’s distress, but he mumbled a thank you nonetheless.

“They should be releasing Minhyuk tonight.  Thankfully he didn’t get any serious injuries,” Shownu said, letting go of Hoseok.

“What about the others?”

“Jooheon and Changkyun are with him. Kihyun and Hyungwon are back at your apartment.”

Hoseok sighed deeply and ran a hand through his hair. “Why are they there?”

“I told you; they’re worried about you,” Shownu replied.

“How can they be worried after what I did? They should be afraid,” Hoseok retorted, removing the bandages from his hands. He inspected the cuts that now adorned his right fist, using the bandages to wipe any blood away.

Shownu laughed lightly. “No one is afraid of you. They care about you is all.”

Hoseok shook his head, not understanding any of it. He couldn’t comprehend why anyone would still want to be associated with him after what he did. He didn’t live an easy life and they understood that. He had to fight to stay alive, just as Shownu was doing now, and he’d had some alarming encounters with criminals before. But he’d never sink so low as to kill someone, even if his own life was on the line. In that moment in the alley he hadn’t been concerned about his own well being--the thug could have easily concealed a weapon in his clothing and used it long before Hoseok attacked. It was seeing Minhyuk in such a horrid state that triggered something within him--watching as he lay almost motionless on the ground and afraid that he’d been dead. He hadn’t been thinking when he attacked the man; something almost feral had consumed him.

Hoseok shook the thought away, not wanting to work himself into such an emotional state again. “How did you find me here?”

“I followed you,” Shownu replied, smiling lightly. “C’mon, we should get going.”

“Shownu, I’m not going with you,” Hoseok replied, pulling his shirt back on over his head.

“No one’s mad at you, they’re just worried about you,” Shownu said. “You’re our leader and they look up to you. How do you think it’s going to make them feel if you don’t show up?”

“I don’t know why you all call me that,” Hoseok replied, putting his jacket on. “I’m no leader and this isn’t some kind of gang.”

“You already know why we do,” Shownu remarked.

“Maybe you should lead them then,” Hoseok retorted.

Shownu gripped Hoseok by the shoulders, looking directly into his eyes. “Stop this already. Take a few deep breaths and let’s get out of here.”

Hoseok couldn’t escape Shownu’s grasp even if he wanted to, so he didn’t try to fight. Instead he let out a sigh, rubbing the back of his neck while he thought it over. “Alright, fine.”

With a pleased smile on his face, Shownu released him and clapped him on the back. Reluctantly, Hoseok followed his hyung, taking deep breaths as he’d suggested as they made their way back to his apartment.

When they returned Kihyun and Hyungwon were settled on the couch, chatting over a video playing on Kihyun’s cellphone. After Hoseok entered they immediately quieted and watched them, obviously unsure what to say or do. Shownu had bought a six pack while they were out and opened a beer, making himself comfortable on the couch beside them.

“How’s Minhyuk?” Hoseok asked.

“He’s fine, I just talked to him,” Kihyun replied. “They should be coming back soon.”

Hoseok nodded but didn’t reply.

“How are you feeling?” Hyungwon asked.

“I don’t know,” Hoseok replied.

Hoseok helped himself to one of the beers, sitting on the floor opposite of them. He popped the cap and took a long swig, debating on how to approach the current situation. Thinking over what had happened, he wondered if Hyungwon was okay, as Minhyuk had said that he’d been the one they targeted. “Minhyuk told me that they went after you, Hyungwon. Are you alright?” he asked.

“Shownu chased them off before they could do anything,” Hyungwon replied. “But I didn’t know that one of them stayed behind. I followed Shownu and we were a block away when it happened. I--” Hyungwon’s voice broke off and he looked away from the others, trying to compose himself.

Shownu rubbed Hyungwon’s shoulder, trying to comfort him. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“Of course it was. It was the same kid who attacked me at university,” Hyungwon replied.

“No, it wasn’t,” Hoseok attested. “It wasn’t anyone’s fault.”

Hyungwon didn’t argue, staying silent. The room was quiet; the only audible sounds coming from cars passing by outside and a door opening on the bottom floor of the building.

“Sounds like they’re here,” Kihyun announced, getting up and going to the door.

Jooheon and Changkyun entered followed by Minhyuk who was now able to stand on his own. Despite this, Changkyun kept a close eye on him, a hand gently pressed against his back as they made their way inside the apartment. Shownu got up from the couch to make room for Minhyuk, going to help him but Minhyuk refused any assistance.

“I’m fine, hyung,” Minhyuk attested, carefully sitting down. “It’s really not that bad.”

Hoseok was now standing, still situated on the far side of the room. His eyes had widened after seeing Minhyuk, who now had stitches and a bandage applied on the side of his upper left cheek. He wanted nothing more than to approach him and make sure that he was okay, but his feet were firmly glued to the floor, too nervous to move.

It was Kihyun who sat down beside Minhyuk and inspected his bandages, asking him several times if he was okay. Minhyuk smiled softly, assuring his friend that everything was alright.

“They gave me painkillers, I’ll be fine,” Minhyuk said, pulling a pill bottle out from his pocket and shaking it. “Plus, Hyungwon looks a lot worse.”

“Thanks, hyung,” Hyungwon replied, laughing lightly.

Hoseok was watching him, subconsciously biting on his bottom lip. Minhyuk finally looked over in his direction and made eye contact with him, and it took all of Hoseok’s resolve not to run away.

“Minhyuk, I’m sorry,” was all that came out from between Hoseok’s lips, his voice wavering. “If only I’d been there--”

“Hyung, it’s not your fault,” Minhyuk interjected. “Stop blaming yourself for everything. There was no way we could’ve known what was going to happen.”

“That’s not the point!” Hoseok replied, his voice rising.

The apartment had become incredibly quiet. Shownu kept a watchful eye on Hoseok but didn’t approach him. Jooheon and Changkyun looked at each other and Kihyun let out a deep sigh.

“Hyung, then what is the point?” Kihyun asked.

“Don’t push him,” Jooheon mumbled a reply, almost in warning.

“What?” Kihyun added, his voice now raised. “Even if Hoseok hadn’t been there you know we would’ve done something. We wouldn’t just stand idly. That’s not who we are.”

“If Hoseok hadn’t done it you know I would’ve,” Changkyun replied.

“Enough! We’re not criminals! We’re not thugs and we’re certainly not killers,” Hoseok exclaimed, the room quieting again. “What I did wasn’t okay. I don’t think that I can ever look at myself the same way again. Just because I did it does not give any of you the excuse to do so.”

Hoseok’s hands were balled into fists, his face flush with anger and an affluence of other turbulent emotions. He took a few deep breaths, calming himself before continuing. “If you want to live like that then fine, I don’t care, but you’ll have to leave then.”

“We’re not leaving you, hyung,” Minhyuk replied.

“No one is leaving,” Shownu asserted.

Everyone looked around the room at each other, seeming to be in agreement. Hoseok closed his eyes and rubbed his temples, questioning so many things but voicing none. Sighing, he finished the rest of his beer before saying, “I need to think,” and made his way to the bedroom.