#this is a joke i think i would start crying if they talked like that

[missmarveledsblog]

FLUMPY part 11 ( jake seresin x reader)

summary : with roo , nat and jake gone the remainder of the dagger squad take it as their mission to make sure that the pregnant girlfriend and their friend is taken care of while she is racing to tell her dad before someone else is going to let it slip , dealing with life without jake being by her side isn't as fun and she is counting down the days til he and her favorite people return .

warning: other than my spelling and grammatical error this is a mostly fluffy goofy chapter with the mentions of pregnancy and all the good stuff that comes with it . the men of the dagger squad being big brother goals ,some mentions of an encounter with a shitty human who tries to hurt a dog.

(previous part)

She sat sitting in the car not actually knowing what it was that had her crying . was it the hormones , the fact jake was gone for three months or fact he didn’t dump her there and then . she didn’t know how long it was she was there but the crowds were long gone some even stopped to see was she ok that was til she heard a tapping on her window only to see bob standing there holding container in one hand and smile on his face . 

“ hey what you doing here” she sniffled trying not to look like an absolute mess .

“ nat sent me told me you needed this and probably a hug” he stood shyly only for her to start crying even more. “ shit you want me to bring you good duck park rooster and hangman said that cheers you up” he offered quickly only for her to cry harder. 

“ they know me to well” she sobbed as he pulled her into a hug  knowing or thinking he knew why she was crying . 

“ we can just go home or hard deck i’ll even do a shot with you” he smiled. 

“ i’ll go the hard deck but i can’t drink “ she winced.  “ kinda erm pregnant which with how loud jake yelled it  well i need to see my dad quickly “ knowing some of the men where actually worse with the how lose their lips could be . sure national  and classified secret hold til the grave but moment it came to things of normal like well they turned into a sewing circle. 

“ congratulations really” he smiled widely . 

“ ugh your so cute” she sniffled wiping her nose .  

“ come on leave you care we can come back for it later or i’ll leave mine either way your in no shape to drive”  bob help her out of the car she instantly notice how his touch got softer almost like any pressure would break her making her roll her eyes but hug the WSO  hard . 

The moment she walked into the hard deck all eyes were on her , giving bob a nod she headed over to her dad who sat talking away to penny til his eyes landed on her . 

“ well didn’t think i would see you in this place for nine months” he crossed his arms . 

“ worse then high schoolers” she turned to the officers standing around promptly turning their attention to anything else under her heated gaze .  “ i was going to tell you properly but jake well yelled so loud honestly  surprise you didn’t hear him from your place” she joked smiling awkwardly. 

“ pay up “ penny smirked. 

“ can you two stop betting on my life please it’s a bit odd but also go penny” she rolled her eyes hugging her dad. 

“  i would of rather heard it from you but the free drinks helped “ he chuckled. 

“ hey i want free stuff not alcohol if wanna be generous nacho’s would be awesome” she yelled out . 

“ so i guess jake happy” penny laughed hugging her. 

“ yeah i was so nervous then the whole dock found out got lots of hugs from strangers” she nodded . 

“ well heres a free cola on me  and looks like the guys are waiting for you” penny smiled nodding her head over to the little small group of the dagger squad. 

“ we come over tomorrow anyways go kiddo enjoy” pete kissed her head. 

“ yeah coyote looks more lost without jake than i do “ she teased making  her way through the crowd nodding at the congratulation til she got to the usual spot only for javy to lift her off the ground with a hug  almost spilling her drink but like a knight in shining armour bob took it from her hand put on table . 

“ our baby is having a baby “ he cheered . 

“ excuse me “ she laughed , 

“Oh we decided a while back you were our little sister so not up to you “ fanboy shrugged. 

“ i’ve no say in this?” she asked . 

“ nah .. plus one of us already called mav dad before” payback snickered. 

“ that was once and it was slip of the tongue” bob grumbled. 

“ we even cleared it with rooster” coyote winked  as she hugged the others . 

“ well i’m glad you got his approval “ she rolled her eyes taking her seat. 

“ so as your new found big brothers and future uncle to the baby seresin / mitchell that is growing inside of that tummy of your we are here at your beck and call so even if heartburn or some shit  in the middle of night you gotta call us “ payback informed her honestly it felt like she was being scolded like a naughty child. 

“ even if it’s for ice cream” fanboy added only for penny to bring over a container filled with nacho in front of her. 

“ courtesy of yale” she snorted. 

“Hey thank yale” she yelled mouth watering at the food before her only for more food items to be brought throughout her time in the hard deck that night some by the people that got them or to the point penny sent the delivery man or woman directly to y/n . each time she yell out the thanks to the name on the receipt . 

By the time she and bob got his car and she head home she’d enough  containers to feed  her for the week or least first couple of days .

Jake honestly was  up and down from one moments of being happy then being scared shitless within the space of few hours he was going through a series of emotions.  It  honestly  gave nat and bradley whiplash trying to keep up with him .  one hand he was so excited for  the chapter of his life , he was older almost into his forties so the fact he was going to start a family well it was everything . then it was fact he was actually going to be a father what if he was shit at it or his kid resented him for being in the navy or  what if something left him inured or worse kill in action . then he was afraid of not being there for his girl the fact she was going through three months alone without  him  being at her side. What if something happened and he couldn’t be there for her . now he was sat with phoenix and rooster since honestly the two need to get him to chill out or else get him sedated . 

“She not going to be alone the guys will be there and her dad” nat said softer than the usual tone she would take with hangman of all people. “ plus you and bradshaws got like weird spidey sense sort of thing with her so if you even for a second felt something was off you would … we all would honestly swim back to san diego” .  

“ she is right we knew she was off after that sea food platter and when she gets her period which now isn’t a problem because she can’t have either of those while pregnant” rooster smirked .  

“ he’s got a point” nat laughed, 

“ i’m going to miss three month of her pregnancy of my first child “ he finally said  looking down to his hands . 

“ barely anything happens in first three months” nat tried to play it off. 

“ scan says she 10 weeks so she be what six months when i get back”  he scoffed . 

“ well once your there for the birth meeting your first child , thats the main show my friend plus way you two go at it you’’ll get to experience it again” roo wince considering he caught them in considerably a few compromising times . 

“ honestly i’m surprised she wasn’t pregnant sooner” nat nodded along . 

“ yeah not helping , i just wished it was different i mean what if something was to happen to me “ he asked the two . 

“ i think coyote called dibs on y/ns” rooster said easily. 

“ so did bob” nat nodded along .

“ again not helping” he deadpanned. “ i don’t want my kid to grow up or my girl to be heartbroken trying to explaining   why daddy ain’t around i mean it hard thing to go through” . 

“ here as the only orphan of the group yes it hard  but i turned out fine my mom made life the best even if she was dealing with a broken heart , plus trauma make you funnier why you think me and pretty girl are so hilarious “ bradley winked. 

“ she does say she half way to being batman only Mav in her way” nat chuckled. 

“ look bagman sadly your a good guy and well we do unpredictable shit but your are going to be one of those fuckers that dies like ripe old age shitting in his diaper” bradley patted his back . 

“ i say this with love but don’t comfort people outside of our group but also thanks it weirdly helped “ jake said slightly surprise how it help just now he was counting down the moment he would get to see her . 

Waking up to a half empty bed was something she was never going to get over it . it had  been two weeks since they were gone and still felt like it was going to be forever before they got home . like it was perfect time every symptom decided to come at once leaving her napping during her lunch break or her head in the toilet . since word spread quickly of her pregnancy everyone was almost babying her making her want to honest bite them or something . admiral simpson also got a recruit one who was studying engineering to “Intern for her” which was his way making sure she wasn’t doing anything too strenuous but did mean she had to guide the dude through literally everything.  Luke wasn’t a bad kid and well poor fucker got confused more times then he should of plus calling him kid was a bit much given he was only a couple years closer . she notice kyle and coyote instantly being there too if she so much as looked at something they deemed too heavy. But true to their words one night she rang them crying because well she felt lonely and they all came and watched movie even camped out in the living room like it was a sleep over . whenever she mention of craving something well they would come back later with said thing .  bob even  got her new overalls when the little bump that started to protrude  out took her til she went home to realise what he done  , it wasn’t big by any means but still clothes where starting to get a bit tight . even mama seresin and jakes sisters sent some maternity clothes  down for her to wear and she had to give it to them they found cool stuff . she never wore the pj’s though because at night she would take one of jakes T-shirts wear them to bed was closest thing to having him there .  even during the week the guys including the newbie kyle brought her to the good duck part even making friends with the senior citizens that were there .  she was never so lucky in life as she was now to have the friends she did   when it came down to it moving to san diego and starting fresh was the best thing she ever done. 

Walking with the guys , shopping for stuff to send the guys that weren’t there care package she needed to rest when they spot some sport store honestly she zoned out half way telling them she wanted to rest on bed to knock themselves out . 

“ stupid mutt” was all she heard pulling her attention to a man yelling down at a terrified dog .  instantly she was protective mode hauling her ass off the bench no longer tired .  “ waste of money stupid thing” he spat going to kick the already shivering and cowering dog. 

“ hey asshole” she snapped pushing him away . 

“ mind your business lady nothing to do with you” he growled. 

“ i’m making it my business what fuck is wrong with you kicking a defenseless dog” she spat not noticing that fanboy was already rounding them up the moment he spot her walking off from the bench. 

“ again none of your fucking business chubs now fuck off what i do with my dog is my business”. 

“ and i told you dickless .. can i call you that because you’d have to be a dickless asshole to hurt an animal what pisses me off is if this little guy defended himself he would be branded a monster ,  don’t mind the dickless man you poor little baby “ she cooed down at the dog instantly cowering behind her. “ what if i hit you huh cut you down to size and chubs really dude you look more pregnant that i do “ she scoffed. 

“ listen lady keep you mouth shut or i’ll… “  he started. 

“ or you what , i hope you aint talking to our sister like that pal” coyote stood making himself bigger as the rest followed. 

“ because she can’t hit you in her condition “ fanboy added. 

“ but we can” bob spoke completely different honestly she was a little impressed . 

“ what like i’m afraid of you” the man said yet his face gave it away instantly. 

“ you should be “ payback stood in front of her. 

“ you know what you care so much about the bag of flea take it ain’t worth it” the man rushed off as they walked him til he drove off only to hear her giggling and laughing . 

“ he likes me” she beamed up at them . 

“ please let us be there when you tell jake” fanboy snorted.

“ he’ll get over it , day got better free dog and awesome cool bodyguards … sorry brothers now lets go get this little peanut some new things “ she smiled happily. 

 “ she’s gonna be the death of us “ kyle sighed and they all agreed. 

“ it doesn’t actually have flea’s right we took my car here” bob gulped.

Lucky for bob peanut did not in fact have  fleas but he was skin and bone . peanut was only seven months old pitbull and nothing to him  , she brought him everywhere even to the hard deck letting sit with her and the guys although he was nervous at first when it got busy but soon got use to it even  only place she couldn’t bring him was work and  so she brought him to a doggy day care one of the officers recommended one night at hard deck . two weeks was all it took for the pooch to get use to the new dynamic given it was probably the most attention he’s gotten in his life . now she was sitting on her sofa patiently ( for her ) for jake to call he let her know he had a slot for facetime coming up and she was looking forward to it  almost counting the seconds til she could  finally see him . 

“ now we gotta do this smart ok” she said to the dog currently sitting at her feet only for the phone to ring out and her to rush at it almost dropping it  as she hit the answer button . 

“ hey baby” god even his voice made her insides melt. 

“ jake i missed you so much “ she almost cried she was so happy to finally see and hear him . 

“ i missed you too hows baby” he asked nervously. 

“Growing and currently kicking my ass i mean of course they would given they’re half you , look ” she giggled holding the sonograms up . “ i sent some in care package so you’ll get to see it for yourself  i asked them kept gender surprise til your home so we will get to see it together “ she cooed. 

“ darling …. Tell me something and tell me truth” he asked his eyes coming closer. 

“ anything ask away “ she smiled sweetly. 

“ why is there a dog sitting beside you “ he asked wondering if weeks at sea was making him see things only for her to see peanut was in fact sitting beside her . 

“ well long story short , we were shopping for the care packages and well the guys went to soon store while i wanted to chill out on bench this douche was kicking him and then he called me chubby like dude looked like he was carrying quads anyways after fat shaming and threats boom free dog isn’t he a cutie” she cooed. 

“ darling don’t those eat babies” he whispered . 

“ oh my god your like the shelters … jake seresin are you dog racist” she gasped .

“ dog racist?”. 

“ these dogs are sweethearts it media and dumb ass idiots that make them like monster but peanut is a sweetheart better then the chihuahua in his daycare i think that dog hates me” she winced.

“ dog daycare darling how long is he there?” he chuckled.

“ oh like two weeks , we watch golden girls with miss wilson too  she knitted him a  little cardigan he’s still skinny as hell but he’s coming along greatly” she smiled softly kissing the dogs head. 

“Well i guess i can’t wait to meet him and tell rooster we have a dog now,” he chuckled 

The two chatted trying to fit in everything in the limited amount of time before he had to say goodbye only now peanut was added in to which confused the hell why the phone was talking to him but still wagged his little tail . when the call did end he got up in her lap and licked away the tears that fell down her cheek. 

“thank fuck you're here” she smiled sadly hugging him closely to her.  Only two more months to go before jake was home . 

taglist : @harrysgothicbitch @djs8891 @darksparklesficrecs @emma8895eb5eb @sarah-bear706318

[scuderiamint]

race day thoughts from Singapore !! aka danny ric truly the dotd + main character max verstappen

nothing to really say about the win, considering this is exactly what lando should be doing with the rocket, miserable time for me as a max fan but we move ig

almost got a grand slam but my man, my hero, my petty bitch boy's bestie Daniel Ricciardo decided to not only ruin his slam but also lessen the damage that max took from this weekend, muahhhhh (i have never really liked you king but this deserved a standing ovation)

max verstappen pulling that rb20 into the front row and then defending that spot from a lewis with soft tires was Beautiful, an incredible result

speaking of max, the fact that he only lost like 10 points to lando over the double header is Insane, considering this was the worst track combination for red bull lmao this is truly what i call damage limitations

i was quite surprised by what mclaren (🤮) did with oscar, no clue what that pit strat was, cuz that man could have very easily been p2 but he didnt manage to close up the gap to max at all at the end so idk man

the mercs were kinda underwhelming, i thought lewis would be an insane threat to max but he fell off quite quickly and then george was busy fighting his car and defending from oscar so also idk man

oh ferrari, my sweet sweet summer children, why have you decided to go back to your roots and completely fuck yourselves 😭 no clue what went on there

also carlos needs to stop picking fights with rookies dude, colapinto having the balls to pull off an incredible start is exactly what he needs to do considering he doesnt have seat next year anyways

also carlos has zero room to talk about someone potentially causing a collision when he has crashed 2 race weekends in a row from his own dumb mistakes

charles jumping from p9 to like p5? i think? was quite impressive considering we had zero safely cars

speaking of that

WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY SAFELY CARS

SINGAPORE IS NOTORIOUS FOR THE AMOUNT OF SAFETY CARS, AND THE FIA TAKE AWAY THE ONE PART OF THE TRACK THAT USUALLY CAUSES THEM AND RUINS MY FUN ????

bro we have gone like 8 races with zero safety cars, what the fuck is going on 😭😭

kmag promised me that he would "fuck shit up" and all he gave me was a botched attempt at a fastest lap 😔 all men do is Lie

also i didnt think this needed to be said but because zak is crying in the media, danny ric was not the only one trying to get fastest lap lmao i cant believe we are back at the 'rbr have 4 drivers on the grid :((((" debate again lmao

the way some people talk about rb, it sounds like h*rner has direct radio comms to yuki and daniel and can just order them to do shit lmao

also welcome liam lawson to rb 🫡

Honorable mentions list:

max verstappen my sweet petty bitch i adore you, this man got community service for saying "fuck" and made it everyone elses problem lmao

the other drivers cracking jokes about it and defending max makes me so fuckin happy dude, i love seeing the drivers united like this

we saw it after the media shitstorm after the austria weekend and now here ❤️

max conducting special press cons cuz the media isnt at fault here and they shouldnt be punished for something the fia did makes me smile, cuz this is max being a mature but still petty bitch and i love him for it

the "theres something with my voice" comment was so funny pls

but also his comments after the race about how f1 is turning the environment unpleasant makes me miserable dude

max already fuckin hates the circus around the sport and now this weird need to clean and polish the sport even more is annoying as fuck

kinda ironic that they want to promote the sport in america more and then pull shit like this lmao

[nemnomzz]

Mcsm would've been better if the characters talked like those kid shows that keep making stupid puns.

Like where's Jesse saying "Oh no! This is a craft-astrophe!" at the begining and "Mine-tastic work everybody!" at the end of every episode.

[gladiatorcunt]

han solo wants what atton rand has

[boxwinebaddie]

Have the CD guys ever read fanfic about themselves?

OH MY GODDSKLHDHLS

YES!!! yES, THEY HAVE!!!

THEY'VE READ TOO MUCH, TBH.

no, because back in the good ole days when the boys were still The Boys and darling scotty had not made his evil fuckboy transformation into Thot, they did a very silly segment on MTV that was sponsored by red bull, who, in my fake ncuniverse, collabed with grey goose,

and released these very crazy 4loko-esqe red/gray alcoholic energy drinks that the CD boys were taste-testing ( yes, they were Gone ) while they dramatically read and re-enacted the most vile, viral sex scenes written about them in aO3 fanfictions. it was...So Good.

( boxwinebaddie DEF made the cut, jsyk. xx )

but anyways, for con-sext, The Boys took turns reading...

kenny carried the whole thing on their back tbh ( all while wearing the skeleken facemask, might i add, which required them to suck their drink through a swirly straw...a lot of sucking jokes were made...smh )

scott, i think, had to pause every five seconds to laugh and when he wasn't, his med-student brain was looking too far into the logistics of all the sex positions and the motivations behind them...love him.

jimmy's performance was phenomenal, obviously, ( comedic legend ) but all the stuttering and slurring required subtitles, i fear. whaaack.

but, uh...speaking of Reading...and being Whack.

i just want to start out by saying...

Ravenstan...I Love You.

God Bless You, Baby.

you really....tried your Very Best.

however...

...that man CANNOT read.

HEEEELPSSK

OOOOOOOOOF. IT WAS /SO/ FUNNY, YOU GUYS.

i need a ten minute super-cut of raven of crimson dawn trying to read because it is SOOOO Unserious. his dyslexia is soooo bad. RIP </3

however, i must say that i admire the confidence in which he very loudly and proudly read out words, smiled very cutely at the camera,

and pRONOUNCED THEM DEAD FUCKING WRONG.

it was god tier comedy, i am not even joking, the boys regularly skipped turns so stan had to read more often...it was that funny, fml.

he would try to read something, sound it out, squint, tilt his head to the right like a small, confused dog and go:

"'his...Personal dick?' but that...doesn't even make SENSE??? pero like, Clearly it's Jimmy's Personal Dick and not someone elses?? so i don't know why xXdrummers-bang-harder-69Xx even Wrote that." :/

please note: scott and jimmy LITERALLY ABOUT TO START CRYING whilst kenny takes a v large slurp of their drink, also trying v hard not to cry like "rae, baby, i'm gonna hold your hand while i say this..."

*literally holds stan's hand.*

"it's not Personally...

...it's *Pulsating*.

'His /PULSATING/ Dick.'"

which i think they figured would’ve cleared that up, but, not enough, i guess bc ravenstan, squinting Again, said

"the stuff.....in orange juice?"

HEEEEELPPPPPP

NOOOOO SKLHSDSKD bABY THAT IS /PULP/.

ft. jimmy shouting "AYOOOOOO! can we get some fanfictions with smaller w-w-words in them? because raven can't r-r-read."

BRUUUUUUUUUUUUTAL!!! BOOOO!!! LAME!!! CORNY!!!

Justice For My Sexy Dyslexy KING!!!! >:O

listen!!! he is Very Nice and Very Pretty, therefore, he does not NEED to know how to Read, okay?!!! he has Other People to read for him, namely, his super smart mega fine Law Student Boyfriend who rEADS TO HIM EVERY NIGHT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!! he Won!!!

he did also say 'okay, FUCK YOU GUYS!' and scott legitimately waved the list and (th)said "i think you actually do that in thith next one."

WHICH????? the only thing funnier than stan trying to read on camera, is when they have to read any fic where ravenstan whips out...

…hIS THICK MASSIVE TEN INCH SCHLONG.

when i tell you they were SCREAMING!!!! ohMyGOD.

that was sO FKN FUNNY to them, they were like OH MY GOD, RAVEN PUT THAT THING AWAAAAAAAY!!! ITS TOO LARGE WERE SCARED SKDJSLD dead, actually sooo dead...like their audience did not understand the context of that, but it was SOOOO unserious.

i swear the cd boys fave inside joke is to make an insane amount of out of pocket raven dick jokes in interviews, like i shit you not, they’re like "hi, sorry we're late! raven turned around too fast coming out of the shower, accidentally slapped us in the face with his HUGE DICK and knocked us out cold." SKHDD it happens so often ppl are literally Frothing At The Mouth trying to SEE IT.

smmHHHH.

like, besties...

I'm Gonna Hold Your Hand While I Say This.

HKDSKDSKDKHSDhLKSHDLDSK

Live, Laugh, Love My Boys. <3

-uncle nina, proud mother of four

( or, uh, Three ig )

[constantvariations]

So damn funny to me how the dc comics' Taurudonna is completely inversed to the show

Show!Adam: my darling, I only ever wanted you by my side as we watch the world burn together

Show!Blake: we live here, you idiot

Meanwhile...

Comic!Blake: I'm not afraid of you (romantic)

Comic!Adam: cool. Didn't ask

[callmehere-iwillappear]

leo voice YES it's in poor taste. but have you considered. it's REALLY FUNNY

[l48yr1nth]

i get dangerously close to posting super ugly close up photos of my face sometimes. its a normal joke in my friends group chats and stuff so i literally see nothing wrong with it until i remember i have more than like 15 followers and none of them know what i look like

[saturnsfather]

yknow. if i had a nickel for every time i had a huge crush on someone, never did anything about it, then reconnected with them several years later only to be told that they Also Had Feelings For Me or Currently Have Feelings For Me, except because of the time distance or other factors i/we cant/wont do anything about it and then i pretty much never see them again, id have two nickels. which isnt a lot, but it sure did happen twice.

[funkylittlebats]

.

[vcrnons]

Yo fr fr those things are exactly why I stay away from twt fandom, twt is already the trash bin of humanity but it also applies to fandoms imo 💀 Also went back on Insta recently and tbh sometimes it's not much better... like... I'm so sorry those people count as fans

like. okay. im sure they mean well, you know? im sure this is either very well intentioned, or a lt worst, it’s a bad attempt at a clout chase. and as someone vernon biased of course i want to see him getting good opportunities and being recognised for more things. but when every single argument in your big mistreatment thread can be disputed by ‘hey, maybe he didn’t/doesn’t want to’ or ‘he was fucking busy?’ ………

there are leaves on trees out there, man. grass on the ground. birds, and shit. getting outside is good for the soul n maybe some people need to give it a try

[notagaybastard]

I think I am finally In love

[fingertipsmp3]

I’m not sure if the seasonal depression is hitting especially hard this year or if I’m just grieving for Mabel or if I’m finally going irreparably insane or if life/people is being unfair towards me or all of the above

[delicatetaysversion]

it should be studied the way i immediately start crying after masturbating like girl where is the serotonin i was promised

[viosjaan]

.

[the-acid-pear]

I uh. Oh sorry I almost forgot what I was gonna post anyway I finally got my prex card so I'm gonna be opening my foot pic exclusive only fans, ok?