#this is a series of smol things i drew as i rest or wait for my queue in ffxiv to pop

[zixinyu]

Trips around Skyrim Doodle 01

“Are we lost?”

“Probably.”

[dogmomwrites]

Find the Words!

This one's actually from this month! 😂 Thanks for the tag, @k--havok! I'll be passing it along with soft tags to @writingpotato07, @mercurialsmile, @theglitchywriterboi, and @smol-feralgremlin, as well as an open tag for anyone else who wants to join!

Your words will be cliff, forward, friend, fail, and blush. If you can't find one, leave a fun fact about your WIP, OCs, or writing process!

My words were face, music, hurt, very, and enough. These excerpts were taken from book 4 of my Castle series, which I hope will start cooperating soon

Face Aero’s voice came from behind them as the rest of the group followed their assigned leaders. “If I die here because of you two, I will not be happy about it.”

“You could come back as a ghost,” Nuka said, then suddenly turned to walk backwards, his face excited. “We could all come back as ghosts! And we’d haunt these dragons for killing us!”

“Do not try to get us killed,” Aero protested.

Music While it was still in the air, they could see the gold dragon’s wings were connected to its body all the way down to the base of its tail, and in place of horns and spikes along its jaws, there were two wide plates of covered bone that spread out from either side of its face and curved at each sharp tip to resemble the blades of a double-sided battleaxe.

It was easily the most eye-catching of the dragons, its shining scales almost blinding in the sunlight, its expansive wings rippling like waves in an ocean of molten gold. It landed with less of a bone-jarring shudder as its companion, aureate claws digging into the dirt but without throwing any like the red dragon had.

It looked down at the humans and let out a puff of smoke. The valley had grown quiet enough that they could hear the click of tiny scales when it blinked. “Well,” it said in an unexpectedly musical voice. There was clear amusement in its tone as well.  “This is a bit awkward for you to explain, Risskora-aiyin.”

The smaller red dragon let out a growl.

Hurt “Caleb.” Neal tried to school his voice into a more patient and reasonable tone. “I can see how much pain you’re in. If you try to go through with this, you’re going to hurt yourself. You’ll rip your stitches. You’ll start bleeding again. If there are no doctors around to sew you back together, you’ll set all your healing back to square one—or worse. There’s nothing in here to fix anything you do to yourself.”

“Are you done?”

He huffed. “Yeah, I guess.”

“Good. Now can you shut up and let me work?”

Very“Are they related to Hank Whitethorn?”

“One of Captain Nightwish’s soldiers?” he asked in surprise. Before Raavi had a chance to respond, he said, “No, no, hold on. I said I’d let you wait. So I’ll wait. I’m not even going to ask about the bandages on your arm. Nope. I’m just going to wait. And not ask. Even though I’m very curious and very concerned—as any dutiful, loving father would be—I’m not going to ask. I’m simply going to wait. Yes. With great patience.”

“I got bit by a dragon,” Raavi said.

A stunned silence. Then, “What?”

Enough To his credit, Russav didn’t flinch despite not having prepared himself. He covered up that he hadn’t expected Pipkin, and replaced the startled expression with a more casual and friendly one. “Comfortable?” he asked.

“Well enough,” Pipkin said after taking a short moment to settle down on his perch. His long purple tail hung down over Russav’s shoulder and halfway down his back. “Although I wouldn’t be adverse to a little seat being attached. It could easily be harnessed to your shoulders.”

That made him pause mid-step, and he looked to see Pipkin was staring straight ahead. “Are you wanting to saddle me?”

Without turning to him, Pipkin drew his lip up in a human grin.

Russav looked past him to Raavi, who was fighting his own grin. He couldn’t decide if they’d planned the joke or not. “We’ll consider it,” he said, then continued down the hall.

The last thing the council heard before the door closed was Russav Fangsong making horse noises as he walked away with his son.

[marshmallow-fireside-keith]

Pregnant Keith Fic Catalogue

(Mobile Edition)

About this list:

This list is meant to be an exhaustive, one-stop-shop for those looking for pregnant Keith (in the Sheith pairing, for now. I am open to other pairings if people would like this) fics. This is NOT a recc list. This is a catalogue. The works on this list are not sorted by taste, nor user, nor bias. Like a library catalogue, every fic (that I have been made aware of/ found) that contains the premise ‘pregnant Keith’ in some fashion is included. This list took hours sorting through multiple tags, so that you, the reader do not have to. If a fic is missing, please let me know, as this is meant to be an updated post. The ONLY reason it would be missing would be me not finding it, messing up, or not knowing about it. Any and all fics are welcome here, as long as they meet the basic content requirement of pregnant Keith.

If you see your fic on here and want it taken down, or edited, please also let me know!

Thank you all! Let me know if you’d like an Omega Keith version of this. That will take considerably longer, but if y’all want it, I’m happy to put it together.

Current as of: July 9, 2018

Omega-Zero by PackThePack @packthepack

It’s not easy, feeling like a stranger on your own body. It is confusing and throat-tying. It makes you want to crawl out of your skin, while wanting to crawl inside as much as possible. Small enough so you would almost disappear. It is hazy and cold, and it is shallow. The feeling of being left alone with yourself without a way to escape was no tender company. But right now it was the only company Keith had.

The Moon Hangs Low by newtype @?

While traveling with the Blade of Marmora recovering Zarkon's former territory, Keith reaches the cusp of Galran maturity as soon-to-be fertile omega. Concerned for his well-being, Ulaz sends Shiro with Keith to an isolated sanctuary bathhouse to observe his heats. Accepting the offer, the two finally find themselves with the privacy they've been long waiting for.

Skip the Pleasentries by FullmetalReborn @omggiogiothings​

Staring at the cow on the other end of the pregnancy test, giving him a creepy smile with white luscious hair, (Pidge had some damn weird tastes but the saint actually went to purchase them for him so he couldn't complain) makes him want to strangle past him. Pidge sat down by his starfished body and looked at the stick (‘I peed on it. Please don't put it so close to your face.’) “Looks like you have a little gremlin.”

Within These Final Hours by orphan_account

Okay so, I've been writing this for the past three weeks and now that it's done I can finally start posting and writing my OTHER Voltron fic. As someone who has watched the old Voltron series, I was both excited and slightly unnerved when I heard the show was being remade. Remakes tend to be pretty awful... But thankfully, this one is pretty damn awesome. The second season is making me nervous though...Swear if anything happens to Shiro, I'm gonna lose it.

Anyway, I'll post chapters twice a week, on Wednesdays and Saturdays. Pretty standard Omega!Verse fic, as well as some Galra!Kieth stuff... But yeah, I can't promise any specific time, probably going to be around noon usually - Chicago time zone -, but I just finished proofreading chapter one - with some slight revision - and I decided to post it now. But here, take this sin, there will be smut in later chapters. This entire fic will be completely posted by the 20th.

I should have the next one finished and I can start posting a new fic. I hope you guys enjoy, constructive criticism is welcomed but please be kind with your words. I tend to react badly to cruel words.

I am also in dire need of a beta! If anyone is interested, please contact me at BaoziiBoi@gmail.com

Thanks everyone, I'm excited to finally start sharing my works. Remember, I am but a smol 16 year old, so my writing style is sill in development. I am by no means a professional and I do not intend on chasing a profession in this field. This is for fun and I would like to keep it that way.

Bearing by Jibbly @jibblyuniverse

Maybe the pressure of being leader of Voltron is getting to him.

All of these thoughts are in the back of his mind, when Kolivan calls for help.

His resources are thinning out, and he asks for a lion. Keith offers himself instead. Much to the surprise of the team. Shiro standing in the center of the control deck with a look of disappointment in his eyes.

Kolivan hesitates, before agreeing to letting Keith come to train at the Blade of Mamora.

Day Eleven: Peridot by bandgeek1stbassclarinet

Peridots are traditionally given to celebrate 16 years of marriage.

He can't bake, but he'd be a hell of a dad. by Golden_Asp @?

Keith and Shiro have been trying for a baby since returning to Earth. Maybe this heat will be the one that it finally happens.

ABO AU, post saving the universe.

Lonely Star by keithyourpal @keithyourpal

Takashi's death brings Ryou and Keith together, and in the following year they help each other make peace and rebuild their lives--until Keith goes missing.

Two Plus Twins by NoNotThat

Prequel to Twins Plus One!

Shiro and Keith are going to be parents and Shiro has to deal with mood swings first hand.

Akira by Tay (erentitanjaeger) @?

Shiro returns home to his mate and one-day old child.

Cursed by Al_D_Baran @?  

Keith investigates to find the Beast that terrorises his husband's lordship.

Miracles and Blessings by Gootbuttheichou@?

My Sheithlentines gift for Pinfuyu/XuanPinku!

If the Silence Takes You by keithyourpal@keithyourpal

Sven recovers after helping Team Voltron secure the trans-reality comet. Desperate to get back into the line of duty, his recklessness leads to his capture by the Alteans.

You Fight with a Galra Soldier by laterie @babe-in-red

Keith is not able to fight, but Shiro certainly is.

The Reasons I Scream at Night by ThirteenSocks @safeautistickeith

Shiro is a veteran returning from a year in captivity and trying to piece his life back together. Keith is an immigrant from the stars. They meet at the café Keith works at. But no sooner have they fallen in love does Shiro accidentally get Keith pregnant.

Between Shiro dealing with his PTSD and Keith with his adjusting to the new culture, the two find they must lean on each other to navigate having a baby on the way.

But life is never so simple, as their pasts come back to haunt them, and the war everyone thought was over was only just beginning.

Arc: Sine: Chapter 1-29 Complete

Arc: Cosine: Chapter 31-?

Reasons .5 by ThirteenSocks @safeautistickeith

Shiro curved his left palm around the jut of a hip. His thumb nearly reaches halfway across the small back, the rest of his fingers getting brushed a heavy cock that bounces with his thrusts. He took another risk that ”mentally present” him would soon enough chastise himself for. He threaded metals fingers through the base of Keith’s thick, silky braid, and jerked back. Keith cried out again. Using the new leverage, Shiro drew him back like a bow; hauling his hips upwards as far as they would go, and creating the dip in his back by the grip on his hair.

Strip Me of Shame by laterie @babe-in-red

"Don't do this to me."

Keith’s anger launched a disaster. His need to find the answers is rising to the point, where Shiro is losing his control over the Red Paladin and their lives. A whole new universe is opening for Keith. Will he find his real home?

Aurulent by drrkrbbt @?

An "accident" in the middle of the night turns a lot more interesting than Keith had expected.

The Long Way Back by fio @?

As a gladiator, and now Champion, Shiro has given up hope of ever returning to Earth. But when his captors deliver his 'prize'—an omega, a descendant of both Galran and Altean blood used by the Galra to breed with the strongest aliens they capture—he's offered a chance to escape.

There's just one catch: Shiro has to get him pregnant to do it.

Happy Accidents by ShirosRedKnight (SweetFanfics) @shirosredknight

Keith’s never understood the term ‘happy accident’. It’s too much of an oxymoron because how can an accident be happy? It just didn’t seem possible.

But that was before now.

Weekend at Pidge’s by chocolatemoosey @chocolatemoosey​

Keith took Shiro gently by the jaw and pulled him into a kiss, “She’s fine. Hunk and Lance are there with her – between the three of them, I think things are gonna be okay.”

Meanwhile, at the other paladins' house: “THINGS ARE DEFINITELY NOT OKAY."

Pidge, Lance, and Hunk have offered to watch Keith and Shiro's toddler for a night while the couple celebrates their anniversary. Add a hostage situation to the mix and things go about as well as expected.

Inherit the Stars by Masrrkan @souais

It's time that Keith moved on with life, one that was full of happiness, his husband, and his son.

(Fic was originally posted before s5. So no Lotor or Matt. This is canon divergent past s4 and doesn't fully mesh with the current story in the show.)

A Single Step by bouquetofwhoopsiedaisies @bouquetofwhoopsiedaises

After the war with the Galra Empire finished, Keith and Shiro settled down on a nice planet together and started a small, happy family. Then, their daughter was kidnapped, and they spent years searching for her. When they find her, she is scared and volatile, a feral creature that needs to be taught how to trust again. Luckily, her dads are ready to help her every step of the way, even if those steps are slow to come. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Gredelin by AccordionOwl @accordionowl

A story about how Shiro and Keith deepening their relationship and Keith realizing something about his galra heritage as things starts to happen to his body.

The Beast That Eats Its Tail by kittypox @kittypox

Retiring from the coalition is easier said than done, even in Keith's condition. Even with his mighty alpha mate protecting him, he somehow still manages to get caught in the midst of the coalition's war with the rebel group, The Hand of Krell. Time is not on the coalition's side as they struggle to squash the power vacuum and discover how the paladins are linked to the mysterious beast the rebels worship. Keith does not know what this 'Beast That eats It Tail' is and why the rebels are so keen on feeding him to it, but he does not intend on finding out.

Leaving It All Behind bykittypox @kittypox

There are reasons to turn from war. Settled in his stomach, Keith finds his one reason to not only turn from the war effort, but to abandon Voltron and his mate.

[imagine-loki]

A Day In The Life

TITLE: A Day In The Life CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 1: Caller ID AUTHOR: MaliceManaged ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine finding Loki’s phone and seeing that your name in his contacts is “smol mortal”. RATING: T NOTES/WARNINGS: This will be a series based on different prompts, with maybe one chapter per prompt unless my mind decides otherwise. Updated whenever. XD

___________________

    “Isabel; I require a favour,” Loki called without bothering with a greeting as he walked into the lounge to find precisely the Avenger he was looking for.

    The woman in question - a tan-skinned, voluptuous female with long wavy black hair currently tied into a messy bun high on her head, and almond-shaped eyes of a blue so light they were practically white as a result of her icy powers - was sitting curled up on one of the couches wearing an oversized black t-shirt that read ‘Don’t Blink’ in large white letters over cut-off jean shorts, holding a tablet in her hand and occasionally poking at it with her other hand.

    “Depends on how illegal it is and whether or not I get to keep my clothes on,” Isabel replied distractedly without looking up from the screen.

    Loki rolled his eyes. “It was one time, woman,” He began then smirked, “Let it go.”

    Isabel lifted her hand from the tablet to flip him the bird, earning a laugh. She was never going to forgive Clint (or Disney) for that one. “What do you want, Loki?”

    “I want many things, dear,” Loki replied amusedly, “I need you to call my phone.”

    “Why?” Isabel drawled, still not looking up.

    “I can’t find it,” Loki replied. Isabel looked up at him with a raised eyebrow to find a slightly embarrassed expression. “I… may have been a little drunk last night,” He admitted somewhat sheepishly.

    Isabel let out an amused snort. “More likely, it’s a wonder how you found your bed,” She teased.

    “You assume it was my bed I found,” Loki retorted, the embarrassment vanishing in favour of a smirk.

    “Con tan buena madre…” Isabel snorted, earning a wide grin she shook her head at. “And what do I get in return?”

    “My undying gratitude,” Loki replied importantly, waiting for her reaction.

    He didn’t have to wait long. “Ha! Fuck, no,” Isabel retorted, “I want something useful, pana.”

    “What’s more useful than the gratitude of a god?” Loki scoffed with mock indignation.

    “Tampons?” Isabel suggested.

    Loki opened his mouth to reply then paused for a moment. “I see your point,” He conceded, “Very well; what do you want in return?”

    Isabel thought for a moment then shrugged. “Favour for a favour? The usual rules?”

    “Done,” Loki replied with a nod.

    “Well, alright then,” Isabel said then set her tablet aside and unfolded herself from the couch.

    She picked her phone up from the coffee table in front of her and looked through her contacts, letting out a quiet snort at the picture of a very unamused Loki covered in bright orange paint that she’d set for his ID before dialling. Once it connected, she nodded to him then they waited for a moment. Hearing nothing in the room (not that either thought they would, but you never know), they went throughout the rest of the rooms on that floor. When that proved fruitless, they split up to search the tower; Loki went one floor down and Isabel to the one above, intending to work their way through the rest as they finished.

  ******

      Half an hour later, they had turned the search into a sort of competition to see who could find the phone first. Isabel wasn’t quite sure how that happened, but it was hardly surprising that it did; whenever she and Loki were left to their own devices for extended periods of time, they tended to end up with either a competition or a dare, followed by their one phone call to either Steve or Thor (or the pizza place that one time). At this point, they knew the guys at the precinct by name and wished their kids happy birthdays.

    Isabel poked her head into one of the labs and listened, getting a few odd looks from the people working inside, then moved on to the next room and so on. Finally, she faintly heard the chorus of The Romanovs’ ‘King’ further down the hall and she laughed quietly to herself. Of course that was her ringtone. Say what you would about the man; Loki certainly was one to pay attention to detail. Using her powers to create trails of ice on the floor, mainly to piss Tony off, Isabel slid the rest of the way until she reached the door the music was coming from.

    Isabel spared a thought to wonder why the hell Loki left his phone in one of the storage rooms then walked inside. The call went to voicemail before she could see where the phone was so she dialled again, finding it behind a shelf, which only raised more questions. She was about to hang up and go look for Loki, when she noticed the caller ID and stopped, looking again to see if she was mistaken.

   But, no; there it was in bold letters, above the picture of her in a burgundy cocktail dress, holding an open bottle of champagne and blowing a kiss to the camera that he’d taken on New Year’s Eve:

Smol Mortal

    Isabel stared at the screen until the call went to voicemail, wondering how she was going to retaliate. She knew she was short, barely reaching five-foot-two, something Loki immensely enjoyed using against her despite the danger it posed to his well-being. But she drew the line at ‘cute’. She was not cute, dammit! With that in mind, she left a message and went off to find Loki. And possibly murder him; she hadn’t decided yet.

  ******

      Loki had just stepped out of the elevator where the lounge was, figuring Isabel had found his phone as it had to be in one of the floors she took, when he was pelted with dozens of snowballs, one of which felt much more solid than the others. Isabel, of course, had fled the moment she’d launched her attack, not that that would stop him from getting her back.

    He always did enjoy a good hunt, after all.

   He looked down and noticed something that looked suspiciously rectangular under the snow; bending over, he picked up his phone, unwrapping it from the plastic Isabel had put it in so as to not ruin it. Loki unlocked the phone to find the ridiculous number of missed calls that their search resulted in as well as one voicemail. He dialled, figuring the message was Isabel’s explanation for the snowballs.

    “I knew giving you unsupervised access to the internet was a bad idea,” Isabel’s voice said, not sounding particularly amused, “You are such an asshole.”

    Loki chuckled to himself and, drying himself from the melting snow with a careless wave of his hand, walked down the hall to look for Isabel. He found her in the kitchen raiding the fridge for a snack. Sparing a moment to… admire the view; he walked up behind her as she straightened back up, a container of what remained of the cookies she had made several days prior in her hands, and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, earning a surprised gasp as she froze. Literally.

    “Cabrón; get off me!” Isabel cried as she tried to wriggle out of his grasp. ‘Tried’ being the operative word.

    “You’re the one who wanted me to stop calling you ‘Íss’,” Loki said matter-of-factly, not letting go even as the chill of her skin started turning his arms blue.

    Isabel paused, momentarily wondering what that had to do with anything until she remembered her message. “So you go with that?” She asked incredulously.

    “It seemed fitting,” Loki replied with a shrug.

    “Asshole,” Isabel retorted, smiling despite herself.

_________________

AN:

“Con tan buena madre…” = from the saying “Con tan buena madre, y tan hijo de puta que eres”, which means ‘With such a good mother, and you’re such a son of a bitch’ “pana” = 'pal’ “Cabrón” = depending on the context, it’s either an insult or something akin to 'dude’ “Íss” = Old Norse for 'ice’

[putterpie]

okay, so like... Pesci is the youngest member and no one believed in his ability to take people down, partially because he didn't believe in himself. he knew this was the case (and this is before prosciutto took a liking to him), he would be rebellious in his own smol ways. like questioning risotto's orders, or rather simply thinking about it and just choking up terribly (the crew just thought he might be sick) or being pouty. no one really minded.

so one-day babey boi decides to be disrespectful to the gang hideout and eats a banana and just sort of leaves the peel on the kitchen floor.

an ordinary day in la squadra. banana peel on the floor. Pesci has no kills under his belt and the way the gang treats him it doesn't seem like they'll let him take a job anytime soon. which means he does get paid...

AND THEN THE TIG'OL BIDDIED BOI HIMSELF STROLLS IN THE KITCHEN

long story short, risotto slips on the banana. due to the force of gravity combined with the massive weight of his own body and ends up knocked out in the middle of the kitchen floor. it was a huge thud I'm sure the people in the next building could feel. and the first one on the scene is the culprit himself.

at first, he was confused as all the rest of la Squadra at the sound, but now he was just confused why risotto was on the floor. but risotto was an intimidating man, even in what seemed to be his slumber...

"H-hey, Nero? You... you okay down there?"

no answer. so no danger? as he took a wary step forward he felt something slick slide under his sole and drew his foot back quickly. and there it was, the murder weapon. still not sure what happened he slowly picked up the banana, carefully eyeing his boss for any movement, and threw it away. I mean, what was even that point of throwing that thing, it was so stupid. and just as he started to walk away the series of events dawned on him.

Pesci killed risotto.

but, I mean, come on. was it really murder? has Pesci really killed anyone? maybe risotto wanted to die. maybe he did it on purpose. such a melancholy guy, right? but he knew better. _everyone knew better_

"I can't let them find out..."

boi's gotta think. "Is he dead? Did I kill my own leader? Heh... I guess he wasn't that strong anyways then but... that makes a traitor... THAT MEANS THE REST OF LA SQUADRA IS COMING AFTER ME! Oh... W-what do I do? I... I..."

breathing heavily and taking a good long look at the scene. "I mean... he slipped on the banana. heh, and that evidence is already gone." a few more moments of silence.

"PESCI! answer your superiors. what was that?" prosciutto has come to investigate the noise but there was no Pesci to be found. really? it sounded like he had done something stupid and... I don't know, leveled a- he... he leveled their leader? no, he couldn't... have?

prosciutto was stunned, for sure and he knelt down to his iron giant and put a hand over his chest. his heart was still beating but what had happened. he won't wake up.

_Enter Hospital_

it had been two days and during risotto's absence, things ran mostly the same under prosciutto except instead of being player two on missions and hardly getting an action, Pesci just didn't get action at all. he didn't go on any missions. not as the second wheel, not as the third wheel.

prosciutto still wanted so badly to believe that there's no way his boss could have been taken down by a mammoni(?) like him. he's still wet behind the ears, he doesn't know his own potential, assuming he has any. just what happened?

when risotto was awake and ready to take visitors, he seemed calm. just like his normal self. he sat up, reclined in his hospital bed awaiting the arrival of crew and one by one, they slowly, remorsefully entered the room. each of them thinking what happened to their boss? how could they let such a threat go unnoticed?

"how's your head?" prosciutto was the first to speak, a cool, calm, _thin_ tone layered over his worry.

"i'm alright," risotto answered, unemotive as ever

"nero we... we couldn't find any clues on who did this to you." "we're... sorry," gelato and sorbet whimpered out.

"that's fine. i know who did it. In fact, they're in this room"

shock filled the room. eyes were wide, glances were being thrown around. all around. all around were... enemies. pesci stared into the void and the void, risotto, stared back. everyone had been to busy throwing accusatory looks and conspiring to notice.

pesci was in a room full of assassins. murderers. and the one person they had any true loyalty to was put in danger by his own carelessness.

"I...," he started. "I... did it..." he whispered.

"I DID IT!" he repeated, screaming and falling to his knees, head to the floor. "I'M SORRY, IT WAS ONLY AN ACCIDENT, I DIDN'T MEAN TO JUST THROW IT THERE, I DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD DO ANYTHING I-"

pesci continued to wail and beg his way out of this mess. the surrounding members weren't having it, however. they were leering, creeping in from all angles. thinking of how they can all punish the traitor leaving him just alive enough that everyone can have their fun. and just as formaggio grabbed him and lifted the fineapple to his toes by his collar

"Enough."

it was the low, ominous voice of their leader. calling them off? but why? this new guy is a traitor.

"Pesci," risotto reached out his hand, "come to me."

and like that the members of la squadra parted to give pesci space. it was quiet and the walk over to risotto's side seemed to take forever. pesci, though he wasn't instructed to, took nero's hand in his own

and for a while, time seemed to stop.

the gang was dumbfounded, eyes locked on pesci and still surrounding the small area upon the tile they were really to kill him just moments earlier.

then there was a deep sound. a deep rattling of sorts. seeming to be creeping it's way up a bottomless bit. it was slow rolling and ominous at first but as it grew in volume, risotto began to... smile? this man could smile? and you wouldn't believe what happened next. he laughed.

he was... laughing

"pesci," he wheezed out the boy's name, seemingly on a verge of losing his shit, "welcome to la squadra." and with that he pulled in pesci for a big ol hug.

this... this couldn't be right. this had to be a dream. a cruel ideal vision shown to pesci to let his senses escape from the torture. surely la squadra has killed him already and this was a ruse. a sick joke the devil would show him, his last happy thought played out before his soul rotted in hell.

i mean, iss really not that deep but like... yeah. this was real.

"b-boss...?" prosciutto questioned, approaching aggressively and standing in close quarters with pesci.

"i believe our newest member has earned his place today." risotto sat back up and rolled his shoulders back before reclining back into his bed, his face back to it's regular stoic expression.

"risotto. nero. what are you talking about? he tried to KILL YOU." prosciutto was beginning to question the mental fortitude of his leader. had that much damage really been done?

"but had he killed me...," he paused a smirk appeared and then was gone as quickly as it came. "it would have been the perfect crime. i'm proud of him, prosciutto. we all should be."

nero had performed a slow clap and the rest shuffled their feet nervously.

"tell them your story, pesci. this time they will listen."

the first time pesci's name had been called in a while. and the first time he realized that he didn't die. that he was still alive and this wasn't a dream. he had been commended by his leader after nearly killing him.

he turned around, prosciutto too close for comfort and glaring. at least for a moment. he huffed and moved, leaning against the nearest wall with his arms folded and waiting to hear what had really went down.

pesci told his story...

formaggio: yo nero, you're a dumbass ghiacco: if you wanted to die that badly, could have just made ice. no need for littering. illuso: hey, nero. /snatches the glasses of ghiacco/ ghiacco: hey! what the fuck?! illuso: i think you need these

illuso tossed the glasses onto risotto's lap and for a moment, everything seemed normal. not passione gang normal but just normal. a dude slipped on a banana just like in the cartoons and he's in the hospital. formaggio was leading the crowd with his standup routine of topical dark jokes and the whole room was absorbed in the moment. it was just guys bein dudes. what could be better?

and then i got lazy

anyways, after nero's discharge they all began to respect pesci at last. after all, no one had been able to best risotto before. he was a natural and the person who hated him the most at first soon became his aniki and sought to help him reach his full potential

the end