#this is absolutely devastating if u know me u know i hate having feelings for anybody

[willgrahamsipodnano]

day ?????????? of having a work crush and i’m dyin in my bones

[dragon-queen21]

hello!!!! its been so long i apologize so ☹️ ive been fighting demons and going through story book worthy horrors, but its all okay!!!!

but for 📷 anons surprising comeback,

hear me out, its one piece time woah, little ace with the whitebeards. that kid would totally hid his regression for as long as he could, especially during the time before ace joined the crew. only to be found out either via a meltdown, or very shortly after he officially joined due to a slip up.

real nap time kid. a nap time is always inevitable with ace, whether it be because his narcolepsy or marco trying to push one because ace is getting wayy to fussy for this busy crew.

i also have the headcanon that his devil fruit is just out of control this boy is setting everything on fire, unlucky for the crew because, yknow, they live on a wooden ship.

i feel like hes has a pretty large range of ages he can regress too but normally stays pretty small. 1-3 maybe? definitely kinda kid to insist he can do everything by himself but then melts and gives up the moment hes shown some positive affection. give him a pacifier when its clear he wants one? so over for him. one of the chefs giving him a spill proof cup? knockout. pick him up when hes too small to properly walk himself? hes ran out of lives.

ouh the imagery of someone like marco or thatch holding a very very sleepy ace and ace having his fingers in his mouth and just the other person taking them out of his mouth and replacing them with a pacifier and everyones like woah! howd u do that without him having a tantrum and the person holding him is just like oh im just that good ig IM CRYING INYO MY PILLOW hes actually just a baby i cant even handle it

THE CREW CALLING BABY ACE LITTLE FLAME EVERY BODY SHUT UP AND LET ME COOK

i feel like ace id definitely a fussy baby though especially when he regresses older, ace has a lot of childhood trauma its bound to reflect in his behavior while regressed☹️☹️

okay im done brfore i make this longer than it already is, i hope you enjoy!! ive missed doin this so much omg☹️

📷

I was actually just thinking of you recently! It’s nice to hear from you. Though it’s not so nice to hear that you have been going through such a hard time. As someone who just got over a very hard couple of months I understand completely. Sending you a hug and I will pray in the name of Jesus for your strength and peace. If you ever want to reach out and dm me to vent or talk you can. No pressure of course <3

~~~

Okay one piece time hehe :3

~My vote is 100% for being found out due to a meltdown. Mostly because I like angst hehe >:3

“You need a nap!” “I do not.” “Well just come lay down for a moment. If you don’t fall asleep then you can get back up… Ace?” (Ace meanwhile already asleep)

“because, yknow, they live on a wooden ship.”

<- Pfft okay that made me laugh

~It’s like letting a child play with matches only you can’t take them away.

~Coping mechanism for Ace/ anxiety inducing for everyone else on board

~Oh no but why did I just think of the saddest thing ever is getting really frustrated and one of his stuffed animals or toys catches on fire. He would be devastated and probably hate himself for a long while.

“insist he can do everything by himself but then melts and gives up the moment hes shown some positive affection”

<- Awww that’s so cute!!

~Grumpiest affection starved baby. Insisting that he’s a lot older than he really is and it only takes a time bit of patience and coddling to get him to regress super small.

Marco: Yup I’m just the best caregiver ever isn’t that right bud? Ace meanwhile: (sleepy baby babbles)

~Sometimes he’s super small and he just cries and no one know how to comfort him because nothing seems to be wrong he’s just fussy and flinches away from people and overall is just miserable

Read these first while regressed and this absolutely made little me giddy. Thank you for sharing beloved I’ve missed getting to read all your thoughts <3

[fernandezology]

checkmate, i couldn't lose - christian pulisic

pairing: christian pulisic x reader

author’s note: based on interview christian gave in 2021,let me know if you liked this<3

word count: 700 words

from feeling you are on top of the world to watching your loved one in the coffin,life sure is unpredictable.

it was hard to comprehend why was this happening to christian,but there was nothing either of you could’ve done to bring his grandfather back to life. it all happened so quickly,he never had a chance to say goodbye to him.

to make timing even worser,it was a week before he planned to introduce you to him. it was about time because his grandfather wanted to meet who is that girl that got him utterly infatuated. not to mention he was the first one to hear all about you. it was not a secret that christian trusted his judgment very much.

even though unfortunately he never got to meet you,he was absolutely sure that you were “the one” for christian. the way his eyes light up everytime he would even think about you,the way he could not help to smile when he was taking about you… all the signs were there.

and yet there was not a single sign that was the last time he will ever see him alive and play chess with him. you immediately knew something terribly wrong happened when u saw a tear falling from his left eye after answering his sister’s call. quiet “what’s wrong” escaped from your lips as you sat down on floor next to him.

he still couldn’t process these news and it felt like time has stopped. all he could do at that moment melt down into your embrace.

it took him a while to realize that opening up is never not something to be ashamed of. he thought he was too tough to need help and didn’t wanted to be a bother to you with his rants.

eventually, you assured him when it’s all on him,it can feel like a lot. that’s not how it should be and it won’t be as long as he has you by his side. this was the first time he broke down in tears in front of you even though he showed vulnerability before,it was nothing like this.

it felt like hours passed before he managed to say devastating news out loud. this meant your trip to his family is gonna happen sooner than you planned. too bad it was under these unfortunate circumstances.

one of the reasons he didn’t really open to anyone because he couldn’t stand “i totally understand how you feel” sentence. already prone to over-analyzing everything,this just made him feel like nobody is actually listening. somehow you knew he hated hearing that and you never used it. even when you didn’t feel whatever was bothering him on your own skin,you did understand it.

however,this time you understand from your own experience. you were very close with your grandparents as a kid. they taught you pretty much there is to learn. reading,tying your shoelaces,writing,manners…and when both of them passed away in a short period of time,it felt unreal.

him and his grandfather had their thing and it was playing chess. after the funeral,christian wanted to see his room one last time. you wanted to give him privacy to do it but he wanted you to come with him. he took your hand and gently pulled you to him. when you entered room,his look was immediately on chess board next to vinyl recorder and you started to put pieces together.

“wait,that’s why you have tattoo of chess piece?”

“one of reasons,yeah. he taught me how to play when i was younger,but i am nowhere near level.”

“i didn’t even know you knew how to play it.”

“i guess i never mentioned it,but me and kante sometimes play it on plane. we always have good battles but it’s hard to beat him.”

“i’m here if you wanna feel like beth from queen’s gambit. absolutely clueless about how any of this is working.”

“hm,i think out of all people you would understand it. “

“why?”

“he used to say that life is like chess because it consists of very limited number of moves. you need to make good use of them and create your own opportunities-just like i did with you.”

“well whatever you did is definitely working on me.”

“checkmate,i couldn’t lose.”

[the-kr8tor]

IM SO SORRY FOR NO DAILY HOBIE HC YESTERDAY MY INTERNET CRASHED FOR HOURS- ANYWAYS HERE WE GO Daily Hobie HC! More general Hobie hcs but angsty>:) (I have so much more muaha) - Hates the silent treatment. He would rather try to talk things out rather than be ignored, as it brings him back to when he was a kid. Nobody ever listened to him and often ignored him, being the most 'useless' sibling of nine. Hobie would rather you treat him like absolute shit during a fight than ignore him. Yell, insult, physical pain, was better than the silent treatment for him. - Personally, I think that Hobie had a small lotus tattoo on the back of his left shoulder, a hidden semi-colon in the front petal. Being how his childhood was, and the traumatic imagery of the riots, blood, gore, guts.. It takes a toll, especially during teenage years. Hobie almost even felt disappointed that the radioactive spider didn't kill him. He deserved it after all, didn't he? - Knows all of his siblings birthday by heart. Every time their birthdays roll around, he'll wear/do something that he remembered they liked doing as tribute. Hobie doesn't know how many are alive, or dead, but he hopes they're doing well either way. - Very desensitized to his own sorrow and grief. He grew up too fast, and suppressed it to the point where it takes him a lot to shed tears now or feel grief. It's usually just numbness. Hobie learning to get his inner child back was a slow process for sure. - For a period of time before the Spider Society and everything, Hobie truly believed he was destined to be alone. That everyone leaves in the end, and he was cursed as someone who would live, breathe, and die alone. - On top of that, his nightmares feel like constant taunts, replaying gruesome memories just to poke fun at him. Like he wasn't a good person. Like Hobie deserved to not feel any sort of warmth. That the Earth was cold, heartless and cruel. - As a teenger, Hobie distanced himself from his family as they disappeared one by one to somewhere where he didn't know. He knew where his mother went, and was devastated by her deaf. She didn't have any more love for her children, but she kept a roof over his head and took care of him, even if it was a little bit. - Hobie hates drinking, especially alone. He hates being reminded of his mothers death, like he's slowly following in her footsteps. He'll die in the same, cruel death like she did, found at the end of the glass bottle that's lifted up to his lips, the liquid burning on the way down his throat. -🐦‍⬛

That's alright!! I'm glad you're back!

Daily Hobie HC!!!

Uh oh

Sameee I hate the silent treatment too :'(

NO HE DID NOT DESERVE IT 😤😤☹️

Awww I remember everyone's bday too but not a lot of them remember mine 😞 (now u made me sad 🐦‍⬛ anon ☹️)

*Holds Hobie's hand* Let's heal our inner child together

BROOOO THIS GOT ME ULTRA SAD 😭 Y U HURT ME LOVELY? IS IT BC OF OPIN?!

Nuh uh not on my watch!

[awweshuuks]

EXPLAINING MY KNY OUTSIDERS AU BC SOMEONE EXPLAINED THERES AND I JUST REALLY LIKE MINE.

Yay :3

so basically it doesn’t really follow the exact plot of actual demon slayer but it’s okay I think 😞

Scout(from the series) and Ponyboy have the the tanjiro and nezuko type relationship and mark(that was then this is now) and curly are ponyboys two best friends :3 Bryon ofc is marks best friend but u get it.

Basically when pony,Soda, and Darry were younger, about 4 year before their cannon age, they ofc were very poor and in order to get money, Darry trained and trained and became a demon slayer after passing final selection, becoming a Hashira after 5 months bc of killing a lower moon, though he “lost”his best friend (Paul) because of this. Tho Soda became a demon slayer 2-3 years after leaving his home to train with Darry. Both leaving their home and only being able to speak to pony through letters. Though most were between ponyboy and Soda but Darry always sent letters when he wasnt busy with whatever hashiras were doing, as well as sending much money.

Fast forward a year after Soda leaving, pony became very close friends with a girl named scout, and when she slept over one night in their home in the mountains, he left to the village at night and stayed out longer by accident and when he came back he found his parents and scout covered in blood. And in a panic feeling for pulses and found one in scout. Then trying to run to the village and the getting his scar on his head from scout hitting him into the tree to defend HIM when (you’ll never guess) DALLY came to kill her cause Yk demon stuff. Then the whole thing happens that happens with tanjiro and giyuu with them and instead of sending pony going to a separate trainer he gets sent to Soda and Darry. With scout ofc. And that’s kinda how the whole thing starts.

The Hashira in this are

Darry

Dally

Two bit

Tim

Sylvia

Johnny

Buck

Billie (oc 🧍 to be cringe is to be free trust)

Steve and Soda are both not yet Hashira, tho they are close!

Curly and Angela are also not yet Hashira level. And Tim REFUSES to let them be his tsugukos (basically refusing to be their mentor) .

tho sandy and evie are also techinically slayers, they refuse to go out and fight bc of fear, so they work as nurses, along with Cathy, and m&m helps around. My oc Marilyn is the head nurse there :3 my other OC Diane helps around with the cooking and whatnot since she’s the most experienced.

When Darry and Soda found out about their parents death they were absolutely devastated, even more so when they realize they couldn’t hold a funeral bc Hashira can’t exactly take a day off, esp multiple since it’s about a 4 day walk from where they are to where they live. Bc of this pony and Soda (and scout) lived in Darry’s home. Soda already lived there but whatever.

While pony lives there that’s where he meets mark, Bryon, and curly and became close friends with mark and curly, Bryon wasn’t his biggest fan but didn’t hate him 🙏 mark and Bryon going to final selection with pony.

IF U WANT ANYMORE ABOUT THIS PLEASE LET ME KNOW (prolly not buts it’s otay) AND SORRY IF ANYTHING IS CONFUSING ITS LATE

[dudeyuri]

ah the feel-good, snoozefest, milquetoast ending i feared and expected.... in both its highest points and its lowest points ONLY FRIENDS was a case against fixed pairings

i skipped forward all of the topmew scenes in this one again, so this episode was probably a cool 30 mins for me. i’m preaching to the choir i know but they were SUCH a glaring weak point in this show. to the point of unwatchability. they did top so dirty, man. you can’t root for a character who’s just so…cardboard. you can’t even love to hate him. did he have a meaningful conversation with anyone other than mew in the entirety of the series? top was underdeveloped, mew was kind of a drag (revenge era notwithstanding). the tension there was just not giving.

a lot of their post-ep2 relationship development was to build up to mew’s devastation, and to wink-nudge at the audience. any topmew tension before the reveal came from us knowing what top and boston did, while an oblivious mew just thought top was checking all his boxes. removed from the context of the secret, they just went on a series of boring dates, lol. and then we were back at square one with top trying to prove himself to mew--this time without the tension of the big secret. naturally it fell so flat. and goddamn did they give these two a whole lot of screentime. who enjoyed this? did force//book fans even enjoy this? (unless any of their scenes in the last two episodes were somehow good because. lol. i did not watch them)

nick going back on his “i love you the way you are, you don’t have to change” in the eleventh hour SUCKED majorly. seeing boston grovel SUCKED even more like REAL BAD. one big happy friend group, right where they started, sucked. and boston being left alone in the end like that was not fun for me

he was rebuffed during the new years kiss. he was allowed no rebuttal after nick insisted that he would be happier alone, when boston had just said he can have feelings for nick and simultaneously want to sleep with others. yeah his communication skills left something to be desired, but you really could make the case that this is because the boundaries he DOES set are constantly crossed by others--so why should he bother even setting them? idk his ending did feel kinda punitive, i agree with a lot of what i’ve seen, but it also felt just unresolved. what was the point of his last fling with nick?

idk they should have let bostonnick be “nasty” (big quote unquote here) together. boston is still endlessly interesting to me i will probably have more today on this. forever my favorite only friend, forever that girl

at least we have sandray. the bi4bi sandray mutual crush on keira knightly was the episode highlight for me because yeahhhh, same (episode highlight, aside from the almost-threesome in the pool. and sand owning his status as DOG. and first kissing force). as @jolselin said. time and again firstkhao really outsold. the only friends tagline: firstkhao outsold. forget everything i said about fixed pairings

and the mix cameo…i should’ve dropped my “here’s how mix in only friends can still win” post yesterday. know i screamed. and boeing, gone as suddenly as he arrived, was a lot of fun. it’s greedy but i would’ve appreciated just an inkling of what his deal was. and i also wish this show leaned into its absurdity a little more. 

okay a harsh review and thumbs down for the last episode. but if there’s a second season or spin-off I will ABSOLUTELY watch. this shit was so hysterical and fun and wild and sexy. this was my best friend’s first BL and we basically spent a full hour every saturday cry-laugh-yelling “what the fuck” at the screen. from the baffling music cues to the ubiquitous bubblegum pink lip tints, and with the exception of topmew, it was such a blast. thank u jojo et al

[shipcestuous]

CAN I WEEP IN YOUR INBOX ABOUT HOTD 2X4 SPOILERS

I’m devastated. So many r cheering Aemond on for burning Aegon but not I.

Aegon’s whole life was destined for nothing but absolute pain.

Alicent attempted to brainwash Aegon into hating Rhaenyra for taking his birthright she herself brainwashed into it by Otto- CURSE U OTTO forced a crown on his head even though he begged an Aemond in pursuit of him to let him run away Was wed to his “weird” sister who he loves? but is not in love with they then had CHILDREN, children who he tried to show love in the way that his father never showed him& in thanks for all that love he showed he lost one to a BEHEADING.

No one takes him seriously, no one loves him except for sunfyre UGH WHICH MAKES IT ALL THAT MUCH SADDER I CAN NOT or shows him any love- even though he desperately craves it& asks for it

&now even (“To be loved or feared?” , “I need to be both.  My mother and grandsire mind me like some helpless duckling.” , “Oh, well, you’re the king.  Who gives a shit what they say?” , “My brother, at least, knows his place.  He’s as loyal as a hound.  I can set him and his dragon on my foes at will.”)AEMOND has betrayed him. 

Horribly scarred from this, he will be.  emotionally…physically +… based on the books it gets much worse for him from here 

So heartbroken.  I don’t think I understood how gigantic of an Aegond shipper I was till this moment.

It’ll be great for Aegond fanfic in terms of angst &as a viewer I am intrigued to see what Aemond will do with his newfound power

..but all the ships in Team Green other than helaemond who may thrive with Aemond in the power position r being held together by very thin string.

Meanwhile Team Black ships are doing… pretty alright I thought youngRhaenyra would be a 1 episode phantom but I think she’s going to be haunting Daemon the whole season which is cool, I like that despite their distance she is always firm in his mind so that at least makes me happy but still MY WEEPING MAY NEVER CEASE!

what r your thoughts about the season so far, I’m assuming your opinions are much different than my own :P but I like hearing your point of view

--

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Anon! 

I have such a weird relationship with House of the Dragon. I have all of these ships, but I know everything is going to hell. Relationships will only become more strained, and presumably almost everyone of note dies within the scope of the story. So instead of enjoying it, except for a scene here and there, I mostly just watch it with dread. 

Tom Glynn-Carney is doing such a fantastic job as Aegon. Everyone is always praising him in the YouTube reviews I watch, because he is doing such a great job of humanizing Aegon, when he might otherwise have been a Joffrey-like character, someone you can’t stand or even love to hate. But I think it’s also in the writing in season 2 in a way that it wasn’t as much in season 1. Those moments with his son, and his grief, and I really feel for him in his moments of insecurity, too. I like him, and care about him, a lot more than I did in season 1. 

I definitely didn’t rejoice when he got burned, and I never like to see siblings not caring whether their siblings live or die.

It does hurt, knowing how betrayed he’ll feel by Aemond, the one he trusted as loyal, the one he invited onto the council because of his loyalty. 

Admittedly, Aemond/Alicent and Aemond/Helaena are some of my top ships for this show, so I am excited about what this change will bring in terms of interactions between them. We’ve had to wait half a season for even a crumb.

I do like that even though Daemon and Rhaenyra are apart, we continue to have Daemon/Rhaenyra scenes. 

[tyanis]

I know I don’t really interact with this blog a whole lot, but thank you for doing the polls that you do. It’s one of the few community spaces here that truly feels like something EVERYBODY can join in on- you’ve fostered an extremely loving and safe space for a lot of people to be silly and enjoy resident evil and get excited when their faves win and subsequently devastated when they loose BCNEHENDJSMSK genuinely i Hope your mental health and the rest of your year in general gets infinitely better, and just once again, thank you for making these pills. A H U N D R E D is a MASSIVE achievement and you should be proud of yourself!!!!

I really truley appreciate your words and I'm so glad people felt safe here and it made me so happy to see the community being so civil with one another in this space. I've been in the Resident Evil fandom since the late 90s and have seen this fandom at its absolute worst. Even now, there are people that do some pretty horrific shit to others in the community... all because they prefer a different ship or character or whatever. It's all such a waste. Real life is already full of unrelenting pain, people should be allowed to just... enjoy the things that make them happy.

It's so much more rewarding to focus on creating something you love than tearing down what you hate. I wish more of you felt safe in community spaces and I wish I had the ability to keep this going forever. Everyone should be allowed to be silly and enjoy themselves openly without worrying about terrible repercussions from others. There's always going to be petty fandom drama, I know that, but we as a community really need to reign that shit it as it is stupidly out of hand.

Sometimes people just like different things. Not the end of the damn world. Ignore it, move on, create something for what YOU like.

I know this might have turned into a disjointed rant and I apologize for that... it's just been on my mind a lot lately.

Again thank you for the kind words, I really needed it today. I know I probably sound bitter right now, and I am, but knowing that people appreciate my silly polls... it helps.

[welcome-to-oslov]

I love how lively your Tumblr is lately! Ugh Vera: now there's a character u love to hate 😂 (And yes she totally fucking wanted his baby! Ugh)

She makes me embarrassed for myself haha. I have absolutely been in that situation where you have SUCH a crush and you're SO attracted that it feels IMPOSSIBLE the other person doesn't also feel the spark you KNOW is between you.

And then in Tilrey's head: "um no, I don't." 😂😭

Like, yeah, we had a couple good convos, we had a couple reasonably fun-ish times together, but listen, I have a lot going on and no I don't feel drawn to you nor close to you. 😬

Devastating! Ha. Cause when you're in Vera's frame of mind/crush obsession it truly is SO hard to accept the other person isn't feeling what, to you, is so clearly between you. (Still, don't 'accidentally' have their damn baby! Ha)

Haha, I think a lot of us have been in that embarrassing situation! Especially in our teens and twenties. Poor Vera does take a long time to grow out of it, but at least she eventually finds someone who likes her back, even if he happens to be from Thurskein and look conveniently a lot like Tilrey. :) She'll probably pine for Tilrey just a bit till the day she dies, though.

[inkykeiji]

I don't want think about Jouno, being that. Nor do I want to think about Chuuya being undead. Which means dead too, right? My heart is in pieces.

Little guy just demanded that I stopped watching latest episode, because he wanted to watch too. I teased him that would still watch the last few without him. You should have seen his face. It was so adorable.

Oh, he and I talked about Chuuya being cured of his vampirism (don't know of that's possible, now that I think of it), how pissed he's going to be. And how devastating duo Dazai and Chuuya would be then. What do you think? -🦒

bsd spoilers!!

i'm not sure undead = fully dead!!! chuuya's case is different from aku's and jouno's because he wasn't killed before he was bitten; he was fully alive. but i totally feel u!!! all my faves are dying :// jouno makes me fuCKING FERAL THOUGH oh my good god i swear to the lord i become so fucking primitive every time i see him i can't even explain it!!! i love him!!!!!!!!

AWWWWW HEHE that's sooooo cute omg <3 i think it's really sweet that you guys watch anime together and have something you can share and enjoy together like that!!

oooh okay! so take this with a grain of salt but in bram stoker's novel dracula, there technically is a character that gets cured of her vampirism, so i wouldn't be surprised if there is somehow a way in bsd to cure those bitten before they died as well. i think all hope is lost for aku and jouno tho, which really kills me to say because they're two of my absolute favourites :(((

chuuya is definitely going to be beyond livid if he does come back from being a vampire HAHAHA aaah i have no idea how he'd feel to learn of what he was forced to do to dazai, but i'd put money on him being upset that it happened. truthfully, i don't think chuuya actually wants to kill dazai despite how much i do think he genuinely dislikes him (hates him but respects him, essentially), but i could see him framing it as being ‘upset’ that he didn't get to kill dazai of his own accord, in his own way and by his own choice.

if dazai isn't actually dead, i could see him holding this above chuuya's head in his trademark silly sarcastic condescending way without actually harbouring any hard feelings toward chuuya for what happened, since it was technically fyodor who did this.

[red-dyed-sarumane]

u know what im giving everyone homework. u have to perceive my blorbos from my songs now. no none of these have any other info outside of their respective songs. (some of them have other art tho!! sena yuta drew the unplanned apoptosis chara & kugutsu ashura chara a second time for example)

this is. in my opinion. the best song ever. i love screaming for 6 minutes straight & i love that the story telling is built into the instrumental as well as just. everythingn else god i love kyuuyaku hankagai so much

this is my wife my fave chara ever. (rn). this song is so dynamic and pretty it gives me so many emotions

this song HATES translators. u cant be super direct with it or it makes no sense bc its just words. the ending takes me out every single time tho i cannot overstate how much the end lyrics mean to me

she is soooooo funny to me. shes the only chara with teal eyelashes and she acts so petty(?) immature. i love her. song sounds like chaos. as it should.

okay this ones not aru sekai but its my layout rn. this one also sucks for translators bc its like 95% word play. the text in the bg is a silly little halloween theme story that is arguably less scary than the aru sekai series songs

welcome to the first song they uploaded. its 11 minutes long and it absolutely cannot be any shorter for thematic reasons. it holds so much info on the series while also somehow being completely incomprehensible without other songs for context. none of us have any idea what the greek(?) letters/phrases mean beyond i can hear that toroid & function is in there if u have any clue i am literally begging u to tell me. this is long but its like the easiest song in the world to listen to i promise they have amazing composition in it it works

this song gave me a crisis for like a solid month its so GOOD but the concept of having everything that makes u who u are torn away from u by force is downright devastating of a concept. somehow i think this is the most direct song in the series so far

me with my shuuenpro brain like haha what if they make the shuu song "shuuen" and then losing my mind when it actually happened. the distance in this song is absurd. i lost the link but hiiragima posted a vid about a super long journey like this outside of this series it still blows my mind

ill leave u with canon bc i always pretend its not one of my fave songs & then it makes me feel like crying. the "'no one's going to become a sacrifice' i clung to such ideals" gets to me okay

[missegyptiana]

You are allowed to feel things. Having big, dramatic, irrational feelings is a part of being a human. It’s proof that you care and shows your heart. I was extremely upset when she played dbatc and there are several more songs that I’ll be equally as devastated over. I’m so sorry no one is treating today as seriously as they should. Your feelings are absolutely valid.

i’m anxiety levels were already super high today and that just tipped me off the edge. all these messages and comments and dms is just what i needed today. i just wish the anon talked to me and understood what was happening with me before sending hate. and actually got to know what’s been going on before assuming anything. i just need to not post too much abt my thoughts anymore cause anons go too far and cause me more pain than i’ve already been feeling. the song just means the world to me and calms me down and brings me to another place that’s not here. and i would do anything to hear it live honestly. but ty again for being so kind and sending this. u took the time out of your day to do that and that’s the sweetest thing someone could do for me. I just use this app as a way to express my feelings, because I have no friends IRL, and no one who is willing to talk to me about my feelings, cause all my friends use me so I feel trapped where I am, and this is my only safe space, or at least it used to be. And if I don’t express my feelings on here it bottles up and it just isn’t fun. 

[letters-i-threw-in-the-fire]

Im so done with my life that i have decided to open tumblr so i might as well let you know my thoughts, opinions and viwes you didn't ask for.

Here we go

I've started watching the good doctor (I'm on 1.13) and it's quite terrible autism rep from what I've read. I feel like the show would be geart if mc wasn't autistic (lot of plotlines and eps would be lost but it'd be great). I kinda hate Shaun Murphy (MC) and so I just watch it for everyone else. Everyone else is so AMAZING ahhhhh like -:

Shaun (1 resident) - hate they guy quite annoying but cute sometimes

Claire Browne (2 resident) - she's fine ig - tbh i find her boring but not exactly - she's meh, average, mid

Jared Kalu (3 resident) - I liked him but after the thing he pulled in 1.12 to get his job back is dumb - hot af, love british accent

Dr. Arron Glassman (Hospital President) - father figure to shaun, took him in & all- he nice - worried abt shaun a lil too much

Dr Marcus Andrews (Head of surgery?) - against shaun and glassman - wants to be persident - becomes better as show goes on - cool wife (love that he's married didn't expect it)

Dr. Neil Melendez (Attending) - he hot - Absolutely in love with fiancé - so hot it's insane - wants kids - did i mention hes hot and I'm completely gone for him

Jessica Preston (legal head?) - fiancé of Melendez - only fought w/ him in 1st few eps - made me belive she hated him - she's madly in love with him - relationship gets better - they're so in love - what she pulled in 1.12 made me think she's insane

NOW HERE’S THE KICKER. WHAT I REALLY WANT TO RANT ABOUT

Spoilers for the show

Jessica dosent want kids so this lady breaks up with the guy she's insanely in love w/ who loves her just as much cuz she thinks he'll regret being with her w/o kids.

The break up scene is the saddest ever

i made some deductions after the first few eps, most were right (incase ur wondering, ps. I dont think u were) and i knew they'd break up but that's cuz they fought a lot, i didn't know they were madly in love. Next thing I knew Melendez was gonna end up w/ Claire, his resident. I hate this pairing, idk why but i do.

ergo, this insane women has completely devestaed me for the rest of my life

TLDR ; neil Melendez is hot, Jessica Preston is insane and that evil woman has completely devastated me and she should not be allowed

[discountdyke]

so the thing is that after thanksgiving I realized I seriously can't go back to my parents without addressing all of the abuse. I figured this would happen at some point, but I didn't realize it would be so soon. wrote out some very long letters to both parents, both revealing and acknowledging secrets about the abuse and looking for a way forward. put the letters in the mail tuesday evening and I've heard nothing about it from my parents so far.

somehow, I felt okay with all of this, and I still sort of do. I thought I would break down and seriously lose function but i just...haven't. I definitely feel depressed, but I don't feel like the whole world is crashing down. I feel like I can survive this without completely losing control, and that feels so wrong? shouldn't I be sobbing all day? that's how I was living in their house. and I have been grieving so much the past year or so for the childhood and parents I deserved but never had.

but what seriously sucks is that I'm basically unemployed bc I have a church gig that's about 4 hours a week. which is like, cool I'm getting some money, but it's not keep my occupied for part of the day. I need to get back into a practice routine which I honestly haven't really had for the past 3 years.

I'm sick of going thru the motions of trying to distract myself. I'm tired of trying to mark things off the list when I still feel so numb and tired. I dont want to think about how things will get better, I just want to sit in my pain. but if I don't check off enough things then I feel horrible about myself and my life. I define so much of myself on productivity so not having a job at all makes that kinda difficult when I'm depressed.

and just when I was getting my footing with all of this, new horrific memories popped up. they just absolutely can't be real, and yet I know in my heart they must be. that's part of this process. that's what happens when u were forced to split into pieces as a toddler. but why now? why is there more? how can there be anything more devastating than what I learned last year? and if that can be true, what else will I find? when will I actually be done with this?

and of course I feel ashamed bc I feel like my flashbacks aren't real (they are) and I feel like I can't grieve my parents when they're alive and my gfs dad just died (even though there is no monopoly on grief) and I feel incredibly guilty for "being mean" to my parents (who inflicted horrific trauma) and for making my gf worry (bc she cares about me). I hate that so much of my brain operates on shame. feels like I can't do anything now without being ashamed of myself somehow.

and I never liked christmas but this really is a bad time of year to confront your parents about 20 years of abuse bc everyone else is spending time with their families. thank fucking god I start the conversion process in few months and also that elise and I got to spend hannukah together so we had a holiday in that way. I just wish the entire world wasn't crashing around me while I lay depressed and dissociated from it all in bed.

[aannonn]

[tbhk/jshk] chapter 106!

I already have read chapter 106 yesterday, but since it was already almost midnight in my country, I couldn't do this analysis lol

Ok.. Chapter 106.... God. This chapter was... something lmao

First, let's start with the cover.... Because it's so awesome!

Tsukasa-kun make his entrance after stealing his brother's girl! How shameful...

But- Wait. This isn't the full art, is it?

Now that's the full art! It looks even more good than before! Idk exactly much about art, but I really love the colors palette Aida choose here. It just fits the background, the characters and the aura here!

"A voice beckons from the darkness

But whatever you do, you mustn't respond."

I wonder what could that mean... Hm.. After reading that phrase again, I suddenly remembered what happened in chapter 101;

"A voice beckons from the darkness

But whatever you do, you mustn't respond."

Maybe I am just overreacting and this could mean something else, but it is really suspicious that we still don't know who talked to Nene at that scene, and then there is this phrase a few chapters later, telling the exact same things that just happened in chapter 101.

I'm surprised there aren't many people talking about this, I've only seen a few people talking and theorizing about this hand and who it should belong to.

Some said it's Sakura, others said it's Future/Older Nene, some others said that it's a completely new/different character...

Honestly, seeing how the chapters are going right now and what arc we're in at the moment, I feel like this person could be either someone from the past or someone from the future.

I thought about this person being Sakura from the past, or someone who knew Sakura, and that person might be trying to tell Nene what happened to Sakura in the past. (It's already been confirmed that she is/was a supernatural, so maybe this person is trying to tell Nene about how Sakura died? Maybe something that is related to the festival..)

Idk, just a thought! xd

Back to chapter 106...

Guys.. No bullying. >;(

Poor Hanako-kun... He's being bullied by the cool kids...

(Once again, I love the color palettes!)

Hanako-kun... Is this the same character that fought a decades-old mermaid in chapter 1...?

Is he really that devasted..?

I mean, I supposed it's understandable. After reading this analysis, I think I gained more understanding of why Hanako seems so devastated that he doesn't even try to fight his way out of the restraints that Teru placed on him. Lil' man got ignored by his brother and got his gf stolen, all at the exact same time... Without having the chance to do something about it.

I think he's still trying to process what just happened-

Poor Hanako-kun, not only that his gf got stolen and that his brother ignored his existence completely, but he also had to be dragged around by the 2 people who absolutely hates his guts...

Didn't thought we would see Nene's perspective in this chapter (More like Hanako's or Akane and Teru's perspective), but I am not complaining! Reading the chapter from Nene's perspective satisfied my curiosity that chapter 105 has had put me in.

Well, that's big... Be careful not to get lost, Nene!

Honestly, this place gives me a sense of running through time, which really might just be the clocks, but it's really nice.

Tsukasa was really this impatient to destroy the yorishiro...? Tsukasa-kun, if u really just wanted to destroy the yorishiro and kidnapped Nene-chan for it, why did u kiss her in the first place...?

Hm... I know some people are saying Tsukasa kissed Nene just because he wanted to see Hanako's reaction, but...

Those panels makes me think otherwise, actually.

Why did he look so happy? In a way, it really felt like he was just teasing his brother by kissing Nene, but on the other hand, it really felt like he had been waiting for a while now to kiss her.

The way he shouted "I kissed her!" didn't really seem like he was just provoking a reaction out of Hanako. Especially if we look at the beginning of the manga, a few chapters later, where he seemed very curious if kisses taste like lemon.

I am not saying that Tsukasa likes Nene the same way Hanako likes Nene, I'm just saying that there may be another reason about why Tsukasa kissed Nene.

Maybe that's why he kissed her, to maybe both provoke a reaction out of Hanako, and to see if kisses taste like lemon.

If he actually does have feelings for Nene though, even if it's just a silly lil' crush, that may be another reason on why he kissed her. There are some hints that Tsukasa may have a tiny lil' crush on Nene, but we can't really assume anything.

He completely ignored Amane's existence in this panel too, so I doubt that provoking a reaction out of Amane was the only reason. But eh- Just a thought lol

Anyways! Back to chapter 106!

Why does Tsukasa and Hanako legit looks like Teru... lmao

I will always love Nene's imagination. Always thinking about romantic scenarios, even if it's not the great time for it.

Ok can we talk about how both Hanako and Tsukasa being taller than Nene it's so weird to see since we know she's canonically taller than both of them I think she still prefers taller boys... But Hanako is an exception to that, of course.

Confirmed, once again, that Hanako-kun is the one she loves! Not even his twin can surpass the love she feels for Hanako-kun!

Nene and Tsukasa being besties! Even if it's just in Nene's imagination...

They have such an really interesting dynamic. I wish we could actually see them being besties lol

.......................................I have my doubts. But, hey! You got this, Nene-chan!

I feel bad for laughing when we saw Tsukasa being that close to Nene's face with a tiny smile on his face lmao...

Poor Nene, she's traumatized- I mean, of course she is! She got kissed without consent, then right away kidnapped!

Pretty sure the panel where she got startled was supposed to be a lil' comical scene, but I cannot help but think she's actually traumatized by that, or atleast afraid to be kissed without consent again.

Istg, her trauma is so overlooked in this fandom...

Trying to act cool in front of her brother-in-law, that's Nene-chan for you!

Idk why but I love when Aida draws Nene into a 'ghost' shape lol its cute

There is always a 'but.' in this kind of situation....

Like someone else said, playing tag with Tsukasa must be terrifying... Especially if u know what's going to happen if he tags you...

And basically after that panel, it's just them 'playing' tag xD

It's adorable tbh, if u put away the context of it, that is.

A compilation of my favorite tag moments because yes;

In this compilation, we have;

Tsukasa being clumsy as ever, just like how he was when he was 4. Nene running away from Tsukasa in a incredible panik. Tsukasa playing with Nene.

My favorite moment is this part;

Seeing as how Tsukasa seems to be doing nothing right after Nene told him to stay away from her, maybe he's finally feeling the feeling of rejection..? lol

Or maybe he knew what would happened the moment Nene stepped into that building(?), so he has been waiting for whatever happens to happen.

Just a maybe.

Amazing compilation!

Alright, now back to chapter 106's real plot...

A big owl....

In Japan, by contrast, the owl enjoys a highly venerated status as a symbol of wisdom and fortune. The Japanese name for the bird, fukurō, has an auspicious ring, carrying the homophonic meaning of “without hardship”—the negative prefix fu (不) attached to kurō (苦労)—as well as containing the word fuku (福), or good luck. - Google.

Not exactly sure what could that mean, but apparently that big Owl that appears here can turn people into how they were in the past/can go back in time, just like Kako!

Nene seems to still have her memories intact, despite her returning to her middle school age. Which is quite a contrast compared to how her and the other students' memories were erased as soon as Kako went back in time. Maybe time has to be stopped so she has no memory of what happened before she went back in time…? (In this case, her body went back in time.)

Oh well-

Tsukasa-kun to the rescue! Maybe he was waiting for it to happen, after all. Or maybe he really was feeling rejected back there. Or maybe both.

Either way, congrats Tsukasa-kun! You saved Nene from being turned into a newborn!

:O

Mini-Nene makes her entrance! She looks so huggable honestly-

Now they are matching! In the same universe! That's warmly adorable. And somewhat comforting too, tbh lol

After this chapter... We haven't got the answers we wanted. But atleast we might know Nene's past more clearly now? I mean, she is one of the only characters that we still doesn't know the past of... And she's the main character...

I'll be honest; I was more interested in Sakura, Natsuhiko, and the Yugi Twins' past. But getting the hint that we may finally get to see Nene's past it's cool too! I'm not really sure if we will actually get to see her past on the next chapters, but still find it cool that we may be closer to finally getting to know her past more. To know what other things could she be interested in than only spooky things and have someone love her for who she is.

Welp, I guess that's it for this post lol it's getting pretty long right now...

Bye! ~ Have a good day/afternoon/night, you all!

[sungbeam]

You just tell her the truth, beamie. Time is not wasted unless you assume it so. Being lost is normal, and the fear is terrifying… but it is the truth and if your mother doesn’t understand (though by the sounds of it she won’t)… then it’s up to you to make sense of it.

I remember when I was in high school as a technical theatre student for my vocation. I made excuses when I first decided to go rather than pursue my passion. But I was just lost, and I felt a similar shame.

When my mom saw me finally apply for graphic design in college, I could tell she knew I had found my way. And even though I found it, I still had to gather my bearings and course correct after 4 years of doing tech work rather than performing like I knew I secretly desired. You may feel pathetic now, but I promise that what you feel is not how I see you and it’s probably how your mom sees you too.

The shit is gonna find it’s place and make sense in your life if you let it. Please don’t let these feelings take away the joy you have, because I can see it in the way you write that you love this. Most people who take breaks from tumblr don’t come back. But you did and I can’t tell you how relieved and happy I was that you did, because I saw it as a sign that you didn’t want to give up.

I have no idea if anything I said was a comfort or helped but I just had to say it. It hurts my heart to see y’all struggle, and I hope the ask comes out as something I wrote with positive intent.

- 🃏

sorry i had to take a break to cry again lol that sounds terrible but it's a hard 180 from last quarter when i couldn't cry at all, and it feels good and awful at the same time

as for everything u said, i do appreciate it a lot. im not good at responding to people trying to comfort me—its just something i've been so alienated from for a lot of my developing years, but i just want u to know that i've read over ur message at least three times and it makes me emotional and that's a good thing. ig i'm just used to feeling invisible so the fact that ur glad to see me coming back gives me some reprieve so thank u, truly

ik she would understand, or at least try to,, i called her last week absolutely demolished and in tears and finally told her how overwhelmed i felt and that it's led to me absolutely hating myself,, god, i could feel her devastation and helplessness thru the phone. now she asks after each phone call if i want to tell her anything, and idk how to articulate ... everything

anyways, sorry for the dumping, but i appreciate u thank u