#this is almost exactly the same way i started writing caleb in the first place

[cagedchoice]

so i may or may not have set up a sideblog (@cutlier) for c/frankie at 2am on this wednesday morning bc i have lost control of my life

[carnationcreation]

Can you do Luke Patterson fanfic where the reader is Alex sister and is in the band who’s been in love with Luke all this time but he never noticed her. And ever since they met Julie she has seen them together has gotten jealous.So she hatches up one finally plan to make him jealous to get him to see her . And Luke realized he had been in love with her and confess to her . Sorry if it’s too much this is my first time asking for a request 🥺

TITLE: Unrequited (Luke Patterson x reader)

✌🏻Masterlist Taglist, Requests, and Works in progress!

Requested: Yes!

Prompt/summary:  Reader does one final attempt at getting Luke to notice her.

Word Count: 1,615

Authors note: appear I just write a lot of angst. Again Where’s my Love by SYML is the vibe lol

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The day we woke up on the floor of the garage in the year 2020 was the worst day of my life.

Or that’s what I decided at least.

Apparently we had spent the past 25 years in a dark room, with Alex crying for most of that time. The girl who found us, Julie, quickly became our only tie to the real world. We could only be seen playing if she was playing with us. We soon found out that we had unfinished business that we needed to attend to before we could properly cross over to the other side. We figured it was simple. Play the Orpheum and we were done. But getting to the Orpheum was going to be a lot harder than we thought.

Slowly we had started to build up a following on a thing called ‘YouTube’ where people share videos, I never thought such a wide library of videos could exist for free every single day. Practices became a daily thing, though I didn’t know if it was a good thing or a bad thing. 

I really shouldn’t be jealous. Luke has chemistry with everyone he sings with. Alex would kill me if he found out that after all these years I was still crushing on his best friend. I couldn’t help the feeling in my throat when I saw Julie and Luke singing together though... the feeling like I couldn’t breathe. Like all the air was being sucked out of me while I tried to keep the feeling of anger from bubbling over.

Why can’t he look at me like that?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I never meant to get him jealous, because I always thought making crushes jealous was unhealthy and only ever worked in the movies. But as soon as I started only talking with Reggie and Alex at practice Luke started to notice how I didn’t go out of my way to talk to him like I used to.

As time went on I started only singing with Reggie on stage for the harmonies. Every time I would look over afterwards I would see Luke staring at me with an almost blank expression.

The next few days were miserable for me.

My only desire then was to go up to him and tell him why I had been avoiding him. That I had seen every glance, smirk, smile, and laugh he and Julie had shared and say it was breaking my heart in two. I just had to watch in silence. The fear of causing drama within the band had taken precedent over my unrequited love. 

I never meant for it to be taken this far. After Caleb branded us I truly began to wonder if my place in the band really meant anything to anyone. My feelings poured out over a page as I explained everything to them in a letter. A stupid letter that I didn’t know if I actually was going to deliver or not. 

My worst fears soon became a reality after I saw their interaction outside of Luke’s house on his birthday.

Tears fell out of my eyes as I slipped the letter into his songwriting notebook and poofed out of the garage. I knew they would find it. I knew my brother would know the first place to look for me, so I avoided it.

I stood in the alleyway behind the Orpheum, tears falling down my face as I held onto my brother’s sweatshirt he had given me a few days prior. Hopefully I could still keep it.

“Are you ready?”

I turned around and saw Caleb standing in all his elaborate glory, “I guess so.”

He smirked, “Why so hesitant little dove?”

“Um,” I mumbled, a shiver went down my spine at his awkward nickname, “I’m just going to miss them.”

“Miss them? You’re going to miss them? Oh (Y/n), they haven’t even noticed you were gone. You’ve got nothing to lose.”

Tears began to form in my eyes. Breathing became hard as I realized I had been sitting here for hours, and no one came yet.

“Poor (Y/n), in love with a boy who doesn’t even notice her. A brother who was rejected by even his parents, and a best friend who doesn’t even notice her feelings. You can leave all that behind, just shake my hand.”

I stood there, debating on if I really wanted to give it all up. Did I really get a choice in this? I slowly lifted my hand, still hesitating.

“(Y/n), look around. They haven’t even come for you yet, and I’m sure that rat Willie already told them what you were doing. They just don’t care-”

“That’s not true!”

I turned around and saw my band running towards me.

“(Y/n) don’t listen to him? He’s manipulating you,” Alex said.

Tears fell down my face as Caleb grabbed my shoulder, “You’re too late. (Y/n) just look at them. They didn’t even notice as you drifted further and further away.”

My eyes flickered up, Luke locked eyes with me. Tears were forming in his eyes, “(Y/n) please don’t do this.”

I looked back down at the ground.

Julie spoke up, “(Y/n), you really don’t realize how much you contribute to this band. We all care about you so much.”

“I doubt she wants to hear from you,” Caleb scoffed, “Seeing as you stole the one thing she most wanted away.”

The boys looked at each other confused but the look on Julie’s face told me that she knew exactly what Caleb meant.

“(Y/n) I promise you, Luke and I are just best friends. I’m so sorry you felt like you weren’t important to us anymore,” Julie said.

Luke looked up at me but I tried not to meet his gaze.

“(Y/n),” Alex said, “You’re my sister. I can’t lose you too. Please.”

Tears ran freely down my face as I pulled myself away from Caleb. Luke ran forward and caught me as I began to fall.

Caleb let out a frustrated yell and disappeared. I didn’t even bother to look up as I sobbed into my hands.

“I’m so sorry,” Luke whispered to me. Alex pulled everyone into a group hug.

“Guys I’m so sorry,” I sobbed.

“This isn’t your fault,” Reggie said.

I brought my hands down to wrap around Luke’s shoulders, “I just didn’t feel good enough. I wanted to know if you guys really cared. I’m so sorry I should have said something.”

“We’re just happy we got here in time,” Alex said, he ran a hand through my hair, “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

My tears came to a slow stop, and eventually we began to walk home.

“Guys, I’m taking (Y/n) somewhere. We’ll catch up.”

The guys waved as Luke grabbed my hand and pulled me in a different direction. It soon became clear where he was taking me. 

“Do you remember this place?” he asked.

“Barely,” I said. I looked around the park I had always gone to, it had changed so much since 1995, “They tore the gazebo down.”

He looked over to where the rickety white structure used to be, a bathroom area was there now.

“I remember, you used to always go there after there was a fight at your house.”

I nodded, “Quiet, secluded, free to go to. Can’t tell you how many songs I wrote here.”

He pulled me over to sit on the benches near the playground. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he said. 

I looked up at the clouds, trying to get the answer straight in my head, “I just… I had seen how you looked at her. I wanted you to look at me like that. Once I started to pull away, no one seemed to notice. Caleb offered me his help, he said I’d be famous…”

“What made you hesitate?”

“I realized… I didn’t want a million admirerors, I just wanted one. Nothing could compare to that.”

I jumped as he reached over to grab my hand, bringing it over to sit in his lap as he covered it in both of his, “I want to be that person.”

“You always were.”

He smiled. He brought my hand up and placed a kiss gently on my knuckles. In a quick moment of bravery I leaned over and kissed his cheek quickly.

He placed both his hands on my cheeks before pulling me into a real kiss. The boy I thought I had lost was kissing me. The kiss I had always dreamed of but thought I could never have. 

We both pulled away breathing heavily. I looked up and giggled at his swollen lips and tousled hair knowing I probably looked the same. 

“I’m sorry it’s taken so long for me to say this. I love you (Y/n). I’ve loved you since the day I met you, I loved you after we died, and I loved you every moment till now. I guess the only reason why I didn’t do anything is I was so scared of you not liking me back, or how your brother would react.”

I sighed as he rubbed his thumb across my cheek, “How do you think he’ll react?”

“He told me while we were looking for you I should’ve asked you out weeks ago. He knows,” He laughed.

The sun had started to set, the light illuminated him making him look ethereal. I pulled him into another quick kiss, “I wish I had done this sooner.”

“What? The kiss or trying to sell your soul to a dead magician?”

I laughed, “Either.”

He smiled and wrapped his arm around me, “Don’t do the second one again anytime soon.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[glitter-garbage]

12. — thread

Shadowgast, ~1600 words, gen, red thread of destiny, soulmate au (spoilers for the eiselcross arc)

Sent by @quinn-of-aebradore 💜 ...ps: this is not edited at all (one word writing prompts: send me one and a pairing if you like. I might fill them some day!) ---

When Bren learned he had magic, he also learned that he could see things that not everyone did. It wasn’t natural, he had to focus, and later on, he even found out there was an actual spell for it. Still, on more than one occasion growing up, Bren would see the delicate red threads that connected people around him.

“Those mean whoever is connected to you is your soulmate,” his mother explained, “Can you see mine?”

And, sure enough, his mother had a little thread connecting her ankle to Leofric’s. He longed for his own thread to appear, though his mother explained that not everyone had one.

Bren didn’t have to worry, though. He was only fifteen when not one, but two threads connected his ankle to his best friends of all people. By that time, he had already been whisked away to the Academy along with them and the experiences they shared, the successes, the pain, the power, all of that just cemented their connection in his mind.

Until he broke, that is.

After the fire came the Sanatorium, and for eleven years Bren, now Caleb, did not think about that again. Only when he got out did he notice that his ankle was free. Nothing connected him to anyone anymore. It was okay, he was a garbage person. He didn’t deserve love like that anyway.

---

Nott had a red thread. It vanished out to the horizon, and Caleb never saw the thread move in a way that indicated that her soulmate was closer. He wondered if she knew, for a while. Then, he learned the truth. Veth’s soulmate, her husband, kidnapped, imprisoned. He was happy she had met him though, and confident they'd free him. She deserved happiness, he would help her in any way he could.

Two couples in his little group had threads connecting them to each other from the start. Fate worked in mysterious ways, Caleb thought. Beau and Yasha did not seem that close, though Beau’s attraction was obvious, and cringe-worthy at times, but Caleb was sure things would go well for them in the future. Jester and Fjord’s thread almost made his heart break- he had allowed himself to get way too attached to the two, but neither of them were for him, obviously. Destiny had other plans.

Molly did not have any threads, like him. After learning about his past, Caleb wondered if he had gone through something similar to Caleb, the snapping of a thread after a traumatic event. He allowed himself to grow closer to the tiefling tentatively, allowed feelings to bloom slowly. Molly was warm to him, and he thought perhaps it was another form of destiny that would tie them together.

That had been a mistake.

The last one to join their family was Caduceus. He had no thread too, and Caleb had no curiosity about it anymore. His interest in destiny had all but faded.

He loved his friends. He had friends. That was enough, for someone like him.

---

“The Luxon is the basis of how we've been able to free ourselves from the binds of the lineage the Betrayer Gods left for us and to carve our own fates, choose our own paths and sidestep these destinies placed upon us nonchalantly by gods that use us as playthings.”

The Shadowhand was interesting. Dangerous, powerful, enticing. Caleb considered what he said about freedom from destiny, the ability to find your own way. He had certainly strayed from his path, but perhaps that was not the worst thing.

Essek Thelyss, too, had no thread attached to him.

Perhaps because Caleb was no longer obsessing over what destiny had in store for him, perhaps because he was beginning to accept that his own imperfect path was better than the one that had been set for him, Caleb felt empathy towards the drow even after he had betrayed them.

They were so much alike, and Caleb kept his heart more closely guarded now. He did not feel his heart breaking when they learned of Essek's schemes, and that too helped. In any case, he did not see Essek again for a long time. Did not think much about him. There was too much on his plate for that.

---

Astrid smiled at him from across a dinner table and his stomach dropped. Caleb felt the wheels of time turning, felt again like Bren, determined and ambitious and blind to the truth. Eadwulf looked at him with a raised chin, a smirk on his face. He too remained handsome, impossibly so.

When they walked out of Ikithon’s tower, Caleb could make out the thin red thread that still connected their ankles. He thought he was stronger, that perhaps he was ready for this.

“Race you to the top,” said Astrid with a childish smile, before turning back to the tower.

It hurt. He could feel the emptiness of what could have been, what would never be again in a way he hadn’t felt in a long time.

---

Imagine his surprise when arriving at the Vurmas outpost in Eiselcross, the powerful figure of the Shadowhand could not meet his eyes. Imagine his surprise, when he saw his eyes lighting up when they chose him instead of his old teacher to go down into the ruins. Imagine his surprise when he saw Essek battling, using gravity itself as a weapon, and felt only fondness and admiration for the man. When he showed off his tower and saw the same in the drow’s eyes. And attraction, of course. That went without saying.

It all came to a head when, together, they worked to cast a spell that would shorten time itself and give the Nein their much-needed rest.

Thought it might have felt like seconds to their friends, Caleb watched for long moments, holding magic in his palms to assist, as Essek opened a gash through the fabric of space and time. Real fabric, made of threads of all colors that together seemed to make up what he saw as the world around him. Time seemed to stop around them as Essek carefully worked around the fibers.

“This… Have you been able to see this the whole time?” he asked.

Essek’s jaw was clenched and there was sweat running down his forehead, but he nodded, “Not really. It takes a lot of effort to see this. A lot of energy.”

Caleb hesitated but gave in once Essek’s questioning gaze found his for a moment, “I have always seen the red threads. I- I had my own, for a while.”

“Annoying little things,” muttered the drow, focusing again at the slow-going task of weaving time with his bare hands, “There was a time when I hated them more than anything.”

“You used to have yours, too?”

“Hm? No,” said the drow distractedly, “I hated them because I had none, and I thought I should. The Dynasty looks like a tangled web if you watch for them since so many entanglements are made complicated by consecution. But I never had one, and even though I looked for… someone that could perhaps make it appear, it never did.”

He moved his wrist to the side, and the universe seemed to shift with it. Caleb felt a little dizzy.

“But I had never heard of someone who lost theirs. I thought they were supposed to be, ah, perfect,” Essek smirked, “Unless you did what we are doing right now to yours. That is, changing it fundamentally. Somehow, I do not think that is what happened.”

“Nein,” Caleb chuckled wryly and then held himself straighter, keeping the spell steady as Essek continued his labor. “I… strayed from the path, I think. I did something that was not meant to be.”

Essek looked at him like he was the most fascinating thing he had ever seen, even though the elf himself had the building blocks of reality in his hands at the moment. Caleb flushed.

“I think Caduceus would say that you did exactly what you had to do.”

“Maybe so. But isn’t it hard to know that others will have this… this gift, this sure thing while we will not?”

Essek looped a bright white strand against a colorful, prismatic one while he hummed, thinking.

“I felt the same way for decades. But whatever we will have or not, in that sense, will be of our own making. And isn’t that a gift on its own?”

---

The moonlight shone down on the beach, turning the sea a glittering mass of waves. Other than the full moon, magical globes and luminescent beetles illuminated the space around them. Their friends gathered around smiling tearfully in perfect dissonance. Caleb himself felt his heart beating so fast he thought it might leave his ribcage and seek quietude somewhere far away from his anxiety-ridden body. He stood beside Caduceus, who hummed a sweet song under his breath as they waited.

Finally, the glittering door at the end of the path opened, and Essek slipped out, bare feet delicately touching the sand. Jester came from behind him, and once their arms were locked, they walked on slowly, passing their friends and family on the way to Caleb and Caduceus.

He looked stunning in delicate iridescent robes, and Caleb tried to swallow down his anxiety. Violet eyes framed by silver lines, mouth poised in a gentle smile, cheeks flushed, Essek walked slowly until he was face to face with his intended.

Essek reached for his hand, and they stood silently, gazes locked while Caduceus conducted the ceremony. When it was time, Caleb drew a small spool of red thread from his pocket. Gently, he took Essek’s hand in his and tied a knot around his little finger. He offered the spool, and Essek repeated the gesture, biting his lips nervously. Caduceus cut the remaining thread, leaving their hands connected.

“You are now joined together, not by destiny, but by your own choice. I think that’s very nice,” Caduceus smiled placidly until Veth cleared her throat, “Oh yeah. You guys can kiss now.”

Caleb smiled at the phrasing. He lifted his hand, pulling Essek’s forward until the drow was close enough for him to count his freckles. Their hands tingled as he came impossibly closer. Essek’s mouth was warm against his.

For the first time in Caleb's life, he felt destiny favored him.

---

[saphirered]

I’m in love with your writing and binged your entire page one night lol

Could I request a story with Caleb where the M9 find a wounded reader on the run from people who want to use her for her very powerful magical abilities. She doesn’t trust Caleb at first because he’s a wizard and just as she opens up to him and starts to develop feelings discovers he has been studying her powers - thought with no bad intentions. Some good old angsty enemies to lovers type of beat. Preferably with a good ending but do what you wish ;))

Apparently I'm giving you more stuff to binge as this is looking more and more like a several parter 😅. Prepare for loads of angst and conflict and some good hurt/comfort to come but for now, here comes part 1! 😘

Nobody pays attention to a vagrant dressed in rags, looking about a week past their last proper bath begging on the side of the road for money or standing by a shop, mouth watering at the food. Nobody pays attention to what they don’t want to see in their pristine cities. Not unless they want to chase you away because you’re in their way or you’re tarnishing their image. Speaking about image, sometimes some rich folk will take pity upon you, casting a coin your way to make themselves look good and generous in the eyes of others.

That’s exactly what you became when you needed to disappear. You needed to become unseen, unnoticed and a shadow among a crowd. You succeed casting away all remainders of your previous life because in the end, your life is worth more to you than your earthly possessions. Survival above all. You’ll live this way until you can get somewhere where no one will question you, or where you’ll be under the protection of others, far away where your enemies cannot reach you. Maybe Vasselheim is a good place to go? They’re not fond of the arcane magics. Sure you’ll have to give up using some of your own gifts but it’s worth being able to live your life freely.

You’re still a ways away from Vasselheim and you don’t have the funds to get there yet. Even if you make it to a port, stowing away on a ship is fine but you can’t trust them to not throw you overboard or leave you stranded at the nearest island to save provisions. And that’s if they don’t hand you over to any authorities and risk you getting back to square one. You’ll have to wander around Wildemount until you’re able to book passage or find somewhere to lay low, forever on the move. It’s not the worst and you get used to it pretty quickly.

Weren’t you lucky when you saw the recent champions of the Victory Pit were strolling around town flaunting their winnings. You need food. You need warm clothes. And most of all, you could do with some extra change in your pocket. You wouldn’t be stupid enough to steal all of it of course. Just enough to get by and they wouldn’t notice. So you trail them, sticking to the shadows. They don’t seem to notice you.

Then you struck. You got the coin pouch from the ostentatious one. It was child’s play really. He didn’t even notice you lifting the pouch from his belt when you brushed against his shoulder muttering an apology. You were already amidst the crowd when you heard the tiefling exclaim his coin pouch was gone and he put two and two together quickly, the charlatan he is so before you knew it they were on the lookout for someone fitting your description. You had to move quick, buy your necessities and get out of the market. You know just the place to hide out; the Evening Nip. Nobody asks questions there.

Once you found yourself safely sipping on the shitty ale served at the Evening Nip you didn’t expect the colourful group of strangers to stroll in. It was already too late when you spotted them and you had no where to go. Still your quickly gathered up the coin back into the ornate velvet pouch and put it in your own pocket hidden beneath the layers of your clothes putting your hands behind your back as you tried to make a break for the exit. They did not let you pass, a relatively buff looking woman gripping the handle of her sword stepping in front of you while another one, though shorter blocked your escape by interposing her staff.

“No funny business, friend. You have something that belongs to my companion here, and he wants it back.” The half-orc speaks as you grit your teeth. You’d really hoped to avoid this but you weren’t stupid enough to bring out the big artillery… yet… so you lift your hands in surrender and allow them to lead you over to one of the tables taking a seat of your own accord while you’re flanked by the buff woman on one side, the purple tiefling on the other and the rest of them takes up seating of their own around the table keeping an eye on you.

“Now, we can do this the easy way or the hard way…” The half-orc leads as the tiefling next to you holds out his hand brushing his other over your shoulder in a soft push, mimicking what you had done when you pickpocketed him. Are they mocking you? Bastards.

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about, friend.” You speak innocently. You know they won’t buy it anyway, their minds already made up, but it gives you just a second more to get a grasp on all of them. You’re already plotting your escape, despite the odds being turned against you. You have to try.

“Oh, I think you do, and we simply want a conversation. You wouldn’t want to tarnish this new friendship now would you?” The tiefling grins as you look at him. You can feel the strings of enchantment pricking into your mind but you know how this works. You’ll just have to play along. You smile, like being faced with an old friend, just as the spell would have you have, letting your defensive mannerism fade.

“You’re quite right. It’s no way to treat new friends. Let’s not get off on the wrong foot.” You glance between all of them and you feel a pair of blue eyes stare into you, right through you. There’s just something about him that doesn’t add up and you’re almost afraid he knows you’re not under the tiefling’s spell after all but you do whatever you can to not show that on your face and play along.

“Should we get some drinks to commemorate new friends?” You suggest about to get up but the woman in blue’s staff moves across the table right onto your shoulder urging you to stay in place. You don’t look fazed and merely amused with this action as if it is a harmless joke and not a threat. The tiefling moves the staff from your shoulder as you turn your attention back to him as he smiles.

“I think that’s an absolutely wonderful idea. Drinks on me.” He stands with you and begins leading you over to the bar. Clive takes the order and begins pouring the ale as requested while the tiefling keeps conversation with you, completely oblivious and detached from his friends. You play along and when you reach to the coin pouch, you pull out the coins owed to the barkeep. The tiefling smiles and you can see from your peripheral the red head notices too. Both confirm you have the coin pouch. So once you pay you reach for your pocket grasping for a short iron rod placing it in your hand, whispering words under your breath as the tiefling talks to the barkeep, your hands begin to move according to the familiar motions and before the redhead can warn his lavender companion, the tiefling is frozen in place unable to move and you’re making a break for the door.

Spells fly left and right and you dodge a few, take the damage from others as the fighters dependant on close range rush for you. A crossbow bolt hits your thigh and a large cat’s claw appears in front of you. You try to dodge it reaching for you but it catches you and holds you in place despite your struggling to get free. They circle you, bind your hands, take back the coin pouch and your own limited belongings from you as you fight back trying to keep them away from you but you’re just alone and they are the many.

You feel helpless and desperate. That’s when you make eye contact with the blue eyed wizard. There’s a look of recognition in his eyes. Not for who you are directly, but the way you’re acting and lashing out, like some caged animal wishing desperately to be free, like a creature on the run, like you’re two sides of the same coin. His eyes reveal to you pain and suffering and pity but you don’t need his pity. You don’t need anyone’s pity.

“Why did you steal that coin?” The wizard asks as you glare at him from your seated position on the ground.

“Why does anybody steal anything? I’m hungry. I’m cold and I’m broke as hell.” You spit none too kindly.

“Then get a job. Make some money. Or at least learn to be a good thief.” The rude woman snorts. You roll your eyes. Typical. You know plenty of people like her, maybe you even used to be like her but not anymore. You grew out of that the hard way. She will too, in time.

“None of you noticed until you went to pay for something.” You grin and the woman is about to lunge for you at your provocation. So easy to piss that one off. Funny, actually.

“I don’t think she can just get a job. Not a regular one anyway.” The wizard observes as he stares into you. “You don’t have anywhere to go, do you?” Your silence, biting your lip says enough. You don’t have anywhere to go. Once you did but that’s gone. Torn away from you.

“How about this? You spent a good deal of my friend’s coin but we’ll give you the opportunity to make it back as a repayment. Stick around for a little bit and go our separate ways when the debt is repaid?” There’s some protests but the half-orc quiets them down when the wizard speaks up in your favour. He doesn’t trust you, not after the stunts you just pulled, especially not when the look on your face mirrors his own so closely but perhaps it’s something within him that calls to him to make right a wrong, or prevent another soul to be lost to the troubles he’s faced.

With these idiots bound to make a scene they’ll call attention to themselves and by default that means away from you. This might work in your favour. They’re adventurers and given that they seem somewhat familiar with the Evening Nip, you can only assume they’re not exactly always on the right side of the law. You’re not judging but that gives you some safety and assurance should things go south or you need a quick way out. And if things really do turn in your favour, they’ll be your cover to places and funds to get you far far away from this hell hole.

“Looks like you got yourselves a new companion then, friends.” You don’t smile, only displaying an expression so neutral that makes the wizard think for a second he might have made a mistake but for now you have mutual interests and if there’s anything he can count on, it’s the reliability of a common goal, and a lot to lose should you get outed.

So next you know, you’re somewhat absorbed into their little group, learning their names and where they’re from, chatting happily but you can’t help but notice that yours and Caleb’s stories are similar in some ways, mostly the lack of detail. You’ve been raised within the Empire, but found yourself on a less fortunate path fending for yourself. The only difference between you and him is that he found Nott on his path while you had remained alone. The group didn’t seem to mind your lack of details, going with the excuse you’re not about to bare your life story to the people you only just met and you’re lucky. You hadn’t told anyone what happened since you’ve been on the run and you don’t plan on doing so anytime soon, especially not to people who haven’t earned your trust yet.

Of course you’ve been roomed with Caleb and Nott, finding yourself in one of the most expensive inns in the city, paid for by the group. Unlike Nott, who goes through your stuff when she thinks you’re not looking, Caleb is the perfect roommate. He doesn’t cross any boundaries, ask too many questions or has any annoying habits. He just reclines on his bed, going through his spellbook, transcribing new spells to add to his own collection. Every time he does you get extremely uneasy and snappy and do whatever you can to not be in the same space as the wizard. It doesn’t do your roommate relationship any good and may leave you at odds at times. Caleb may not understand why but it’s not his place to ask questions, nor does he think you’ll actually answer them. Instead you make up excuses, helping Beau with training, letting Jester braid your hair, keeping Fjord company while Molly claims their room for one of his escapades, getting some booze for Nott, or when Yasha is there, watch the storms with the woman, anything to get you out of that shared room with the wizard.

————

Rain hits the window of your room in the Pillow Trove as the redheaded wizard strolls in throwing his backpack on his bed and sitting down with a deep sigh. You look up over the edge of the book you’re reading seeing the wizard soaked through the bone wringing out his hair best he can. With a wave of your hand and words uttered under your breath you grin as the water evaporates from Caleb’s form, leaving his hair slightly more curly and frizzy, and his clothes warm and comfy. He gives you a look as you continue reading as if you’re completely unaware of anything going on in the room, completely absorbed into your book. Ignoring Caleb.

“I didn’t take you for the type that reads smutty romance novels.” He comments and gestures towards Courting of the Crick. You finally look at Caleb as if he only just gained your attention, as if you’re only just aware of his presence in the room. Both of you know better but this is how it is.

“You wouldn’t. But according to Jester you enjoy them very much.” You grin, having gotten to hear all about their little trip to the Chastity’s Nook. Caleb gives you a disapproving look as he begins to unpack his things, taking out the fresh ink and paper, setting out his spellbook and you mark your page, putting the book on your side table as you quickly get up and go for the door.

“Where are you off to all of the sudden?” Caleb asks as you grit your teeth. Can he not just leave you alone? Does he really trust you so little you’re not allowed to leave of your own accord?

“I’m going to see Jester and Beau in their room. Now I will bid you good day unless you think I need an escort for the room two doors down.” You snap. Okay, that may have been unnecessary. You could have at least been neutral. Too late for that now. Caleb waves his and as if dismissing you. Act like a child, get treated like a child. So you leave the room letting the door fall closed a little harder than you normally would in protest and make your way over towards Beau and Jester’s room.

Jester, happily lets you in and while Beau has definitely warmed up to you, things are still rocky. She wouldn’t go as far as calling you a friend, but more that one neighbourhood kid her parents tried to get her to play with despite the two of you never really having been friends at all. At least you can bond over your slightly criminal tendencies. It’s Jester who’s completely accepted you as one of her own, questioning you about anything and everything, preaching to you about the Traveler, gushing about her romance novels, specifically Oskar, which you’re pretty sure is actually reflecting her major crush on Fjord but let the girl dream. Who knows what will come of it?

[justaweirddruid]

Fjorester Week - DAY 5: WATER

This is my first time writing a fic, but I had this idea a while ago and when the fjorester week themes were annouced I thought it’d be great with the theme for today so I had to try writing it. 

So here it goes

The Blooming Grove

“You can hold my hand now”, Jester says with a big smile, looking at Fjord.  “I’m holding your hand! I’m checking you out”, he smiles back at her.  

“I’m checking you out”.  

They start walking back to Caduceus family’s house, holding hands, laughing and making small  talk, until Jester stops suddenly and looks at him, wide eyed.  

“I almost forgot! I wanna show you something!” 

“What?” 

“Here!”, Jester says and starts pulling him in another direction, further away from the house.  “Caduceus showed me this earlier and I thought you would like it”.  

Fjord follows with a confused look and thinks about asking for more questions, but who is he kidding? She can take him anywhere and he would follow her without thinking twice. Jester takes a small path, hidden between the trees, using one hand to move the foliage away  from her face while the other is busy pulling Fjord behind her. The way her tails is wiggling from  side to side shows her excitement and only makes the half orc even more curious to where she’s  taking him.  

After another minute or two, she stops and turns back to him.  

“Look!” 

She steps forward, still pulling Fjord by the hand, and he sees what she’s talking about. They’re  in a clearing surrounded by the dense vegetation of the Grove, flowers of a multitude of colors,  vines, green bushes and small trees. In the middle of the clearing, there is a small lake of clear  water reflecting the moonlight, with a spring that flows down into smaller shallow pools below.  It’s one of the most beautiful places he’s ever seen.  

“Isn’t it great?”.  

“It really is, Jester”.  

“Caduceus showed me these hot springs earlier and said he’ll bring everyone here tomorrow,  but I thought we could check it out before. You know, just the two of us”.  Fjord notices how she looked away during that last part and he can swear he sees her blushing  a little, just a slightly darker shade of blue in her cheeks.  

“That was a wonderful idea”. Still holding hands, he walks with her towards the bigger pool, “It’s  been a while since we’ve had a quiet time for ourselves. Not since… not since that night in  Caleb’s tower”.  

It’s his turn to look away now. He shouldn’t be this nervous when talking about the night they  had their first kiss, he knows this. Jester has shown nothing but affection towards him since that  night and every time Fjord remembers how happy and giddy she looked after the kiss, he can’t  help but feel his heart growing in his chest. However, there’s still a tiny voice inside his head  trying to convince him it will all be over soon, no matter how hard he tries to shut it down.  

“You wanna sit by the water?” Fjord asks.  

“Sure!” Jester notices how quickly he changed the subject but doesn’t say anything. They’re  finally alone now, they can take their time.  

She takes off her shoes and stockings, and sits with herlegs inside the pool. The water is so warm  and it feels so good that it makes her relax almost instantly.  

“Hurry up, Fjord! It’s sooo good” Jester sighs happily and wiggles her toes, watching them move  underneath the clear water. 

“I’m ready! I’m ready!”.  

He wasn’t.  

Still rolling up his pants, Fjord trips and almost falls down in the water, which prompts the  loudest laugh from Jester.  

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it”, she says, still laughing and not looking sorry at all.  Part of him hates how often he makes a fool of himself in front of the woman he adores, but an  even bigger part would happily make it all over again just to see that smile. The smile he loves  so much.  

He smiles back at her and laughs too, he can’t help it, Jester has this effect on him. It’s impossible  to be anything but happy when she’s around.  

They’re both with their feet in the water now. The grove is quiet around them, only the sound  of the spring flowing to the other pools and an owl hooting in the distance.  “What were you talking about before? About that night in the tower?” Jester tries to be as  nonchalant as possible, as if that night isn’t what she wanted to talk about in the first place and  the reason she was looking for more alone time with Fjord.  

“I- I just said… Umm” he almost chokes on his words and Jester laughs again. “I was just saying  that we haven’t had any alone time, just the two of us, since that night. Since…” “Since you asked to kiss me?”  

“…Yes” he’s blushing now, he can feel it.  

Fjord takes all the courage he can gather and looks back at her. Jester’s still smiling, looking up  at him. She takes his hand again and holds it in her lap.  

The way she looks at him… it takes his breath away, it always does. Her eyes are sparkling and the moonlight reflecting on her blue skin almost makes her glow. Only now, he realizes she got  a little closer, so close he can count all the freckles on her nose and cheeks. Gods, he wants to  kiss her again.  

“I- I’ve been thinking about that night, you know” Jester says.  

“You… you have?” 

“Yeah. A lot” she looks nervous now, drawing circles in his hand with her thumb. “I was a little  surprised when you did that, I- I didn’t really know what to say”.  

Fjord’s heart starts racing and he thinks for a moment that he made a terrible mistake and she  doesn’t feel the same way. But then he notices how she’s still smiling at him and holding his  hand even tighter.  

“I care a lot about you too, Fjord” she continues. “More than I ever thought it was possible to  care about anyone”.  

“You do?”  

His heart is beating so fast he’s afraid it might jump out of his chest. Can she hear how loud is it  beating? He think she might, he definitely can.  

“I always did, Fjord. I didn’t understand what I was feeling before and there was some stuff I had  to figure out by myself, but yeah. I’m sorry it took me so long so realize it”.  “No no, don’t apologize! Please”, he’s fully facing her now, getting even closer. “We both had a  lot to deal with and I also had to take time to understand what I was feeling. In case you haven’t  noticed, I have no idea what I’m doing”.  

Jester laughs again and gives him a little bump with her shoulder.  

“No, Fjord, you know what you’re doing”.  

“I truly don’t” he laughs too. 

Fjord looks at the clearing and at the water. There’s still so much he wants to say, so much he  wants her to know, and he can tell she wants to say more too. But that’s okay for now, they still  have time.  

Suddenly, an idea comes to his mind.  

“What are you doing?” Jester asks.  

“Wait, you’ll see”.  

He raises his hand towards the water and she can hear him muttering the words for a spell. The  tiefling looks at the pool again, trying to understand what he’s doing but nothing happens.  Then she sees it.  

It starts as a faint light coming from the bottom of the small lake, slowly spreading throughout  the water. Jester lets out a small cry and covers her mouth when she realizes what it is, looking  at Fjord with a surprised smile.  

“A jellyfish bloom!” 

“Yeah. Not a real one, though. It’s just an illusion” Fjord answers.  

The entire pool is now filled with hundreds of colorful jellyfish. Every shade of blue, purple, green  and pink, swimming in all directions.  

Jester is beaming, her face reflecting all the colors of the jellyfish as she watches them. She puts  her hand inside the water and one of the creatures passes through it, revealing the illusion for a  moment.  

“Jester… why are you looking at me like this?”  

She has her trickster face on now, the one he also knows very well.  

“You knowww, Fjord” she says. “The last time we saw a jellyfish bloom, you talked about how  you can’t go in the water with them because they sting”.  

“Yes...” he can see where this is going.  

“Wellll, these are illusions, so…” Jester raises her eyebrows, the question she didn’t even need  to ask up in the air.  

“I don’t know what you mean, Jester” he pretends, faking a look of confusion.  “Yes you do!”.  

Jester starts poking at him, also pretending to be mad which is exactly what he wanted. Using  her moment of distraction, he puts one hand underneath her legs and the other on her back and  lifts her up. The half orc knows very well he’s not the strongest one of the two, but getting her  off guard was enough to give him the edge.  

“Fjoooord” Jester yells as he throws her in the water.  

She reappears a few seconds later, the jellyfish swimming around her.  

“I can’t believe you did that” she looks at him, narrowing her eyes. She’s trying to look mad but  her smile is betraying her.  

“I’m sorry, Jester, I couldn’t help it” he repeats what she’s said to him earlier. “Do you want  some company?” 

Fjord offers his hand to her and it takes her less than a second to pull him inside the pool with  her, taking him by surprise at how fast she was.  

The water feels even hotter, but still very pleasant. They both swim to the middle of the lake  and watch the jellyfish surround them, touching them without having to fear their sting.  “You wanna see how it looks under the water?” Fjord asks.  

“Let’s do it”.  

“Wait” he stops her before she goes. “Let me help us a little more”. 

She hears him casting another spell and feels the familiar sensation, they can breathe  underwater now.  

Smiling, Jester gives him a wink and dives under the water. Fjord quickly following her.  The jellyfish bloom looks even more beautiful than on the surface, their glow illuminating the  entire pool.  

Fjord was so taken back by the view that he lost track of the direction Jester went, not able to  see her through all the jellyfish. He looks around for a few seconds, trying to decide where to  go, when she suddenly reappears in front of him. He thought the illusion looked beautiful but  Jester looks absolutely breathtaking surrounded by the colors and the glow of the bloom. She  can probably see what he’s thinking in his face because she blushes a little and looks away, not  being able to hide her smile.  

He takes her hand and they swim together, admiring the effects of the spell and looking at the  natural beauty of the lake. After a few minutes, Jester holds him back by the hand and stops  swimming.  

“Everything okay?” his voice comes out a little distorted from the water.  ”Yes. I- I was just thinking about something”.  

“What?”  

Jester doesn’t answer.  

Instead, she swims until they’re facing each other. She puts her hands on his shoulder and stares  into his eyes for a few seconds. Getting even closer, inch by inch, slowly, so he has enough time  to stop her if he wants to.  

If only she knew how much he’s been waiting for this moment, how much he wanted to be this  close to her again… 

He puts his hands on her waist, pulling her closer. He doesn’t want to wait anymore. She brushes  her lips to his, gently. Fjord can hear his ears ringing now and his heart is beating faster than  ever. He puts one hand behind her head and presses his lips into hers a little harder, and it’s like  something clicked inside of her. Jester puts both hands around him and fully kisses him, parting  her lips. 

They kiss while the jellyfish swim around them. They can feel a very faint warm sensation  whenever one of the illusions passes through them, but both have so many different thoughts  racing through their minds right now that they barely notice.  

After a while, they separate their lips, still holding each other close. Fjord closes his eyes and  rests his head on hers. It’s still so surreal to think he gets to do that, he gets to kiss her and be  with her and tell her how much she means to him. It’s almost overwhelming.  Jester gives him another quick kiss, takes him by the hand one more time and starts swimming  back to the surface. They get out of the water and sit by the edge again, a little closer now.  “Good thing it’s not cold here” he says, trying to break the silence.  

“Yeah” Jester rests her head on his shoulder, still holding his hand. “You know, kissing  underwater is pretty fun too”.  

“It is” Fjord laughs. “Although I think being able to breath under the water makes it way easier”.  “Good thing you always have this spell prepared, then” she says and gives him a wink.  “Anytime you want, Jester”.  

They still have a couple more minutes of the illusion, so they snuggle quietly, looking at the  jellyfish.  

“This place is amazing, isn’t it?” he asks. 

“Yeah. It’s beautiful” Jester answers back, smiling. She’s not looking at the lake, though, she’s  watching Fjord as he runs his fingers through the water, seeing how calm and happy he looks  now. 

He doesn’t notice. 

[jtsfavslut]

Falling [G.D]

Description: Just when Y/N thought she was over Grayson, he pops back into her life, making her wonder if you could fall for the same person twice. Inspired by ‘Falling’ - Harry Styles. 

Warnings: None, Just sad stuff lmao!!!

Word Count: 4K+

Also a special thanks to cole [ @blazedgraysons​] for keeping up with my annoying ass questions while I wrote this, and for helping me and giving me advice I love you <333

   Her small feet carried her body down the familiar street, cars zooming past her as her body softly bumped into the others around her. The loud sounds from the environment being blocked away by the soft, yet loud music that was coming out of an old pair of Airpods she had gotten for Christmas back in High School.

This was Y/N's daily routine. Get up early in the morning, do her business in the bathroom, get dressed, and walk over to her favorite cafe. The Beachwood cafe had become Y/N's second home ever since she moved to L.A, spending most of her time there, before and after class.

A smile lit up her face as the familiar blue door came into her view, a content sigh falling past her lips as she got closer to the door.

The strong smell of coffee hit her nostrils as she walked inside, music being paused as she walked fully inside, giving her attention to the cashier that greeted her every morning, "Hi Y/N, your stuff is on your table," she smiled up at Y/N before pointing towards her usual table.

It was the one by the window in the corner of the shop, the bright yellow and blue floor illuminated her small journey to the table, where her coffee and breakfast sandwich happily waited for her to approach. She sat down, hand reaching into her Yellow Kanken backpack, another Christmas gift from high school that she dearly took care of, she pulled out a brown journal and a pen.

A journal filled with memories and random thoughts that popped in her head. Y/N thought writing things down was good for the mind and body. She believed that writing things down would help you keep your thoughts safely, and lock memories into place without overworking your mind. A pen that has been through many journeys on the same yet different page.

All pages were the same until the pen went over it, recording things until the end of time. They were all the same until she wrote down her thoughts for the day.

Her small hand gripped onto the pen as she wrote down her thoughts from the previous night, coffee cup in the other hand as she slowly sipped the liquid.

Last night I thought of him again, just until I drifted off. I don't know why. It hasn't happened in months. Nothing bad, just a memoir of all of our memories together. Like the time we broke into the school's pool one night. Where he pushed me in with all my clothes on, then he jumped in and we made out by the stairs. Funny how we never got caught since cameras were around us. Or when we had our senior trips to the mountains in Colorado, and how he kept sneaking into the girls' room just to be with me. We were lucky we didn't get caught again. I tried to not keep thinking about him. I know it's time to finally drop it and move on, but how? How do I erase all those memories from my brain? How am I supposed to just drop it and move along? Just how? I don't need or want to know why just how.

She softly slammed the notebook closed, right before she could feel a slight burning in her eyes and a rock starting to form in her throat. The subject of her and a past lover that she was still holding onto, still being a deep wound to her.

She thought about and remembered Grayson every day. After all, he was her everything during her entire High School life, and he still was…...sort of.  Grayson and Y/N started dating in the 9th grade, right about in the middle of the year. He asked her out behind the school's bleachers during lunchtime, a mixture of flowers from his mom's garden that she shyly accepted from him after she said yes. That was followed by their date to the movie theater, where he held her close to him every time she faked being a little scared, not that he could tell, and three dates after he officially asked her out where she said yes again, and that was followed by an accidental kiss, he was leaning towards her cheek when she accidentally moved her head to the side, causing his lips to land on hers. Neither of them complained, just smiled at each other and carried on.

They went on for 6 years, all of high school and two college years, where he decided to break it off because of distance. He went off on how being across the country from one another was hard, and the fact that the time difference from New York to California was 3 and 4. She didn't complain. Didn't give a reason as to why not, even if she had trillions of them. She didn't try to change his mind. She simply said okay, and wished him the best. She still loved him though.

The words that her grandpa had spoken replayed in her brain every time she questioned why she still thought about him; "You never stop loving anyone sugar, you just kinda love someone stronger. If you stop loving them, then you never loved them to begin with" She thought about that, and that made her feel better. Maybe there was someone out there who she would love more than she loved Grayson.

With a quiet sigh, she put her journal away, switching it with a book she picked up at the library a few days prior, yet read a million times.

To Kill A Mockingbird is a book she read many times in school, mostly everyone has. It's the one book from school she actually enjoyed, so she picked it up from the book shop down the street from her apartment before work one day, and didn't get to read it until now.

She opened the book with a small smile, the sensation of the book against her finger bringing nothing but happiness to her, and took her mind off whatever was bothering her. She lost herself in the book, almost done with half of the book before her alarm rang, signaling it was time for work. She left a 20 on the table after putting all her stuff away in her backpack and walking out of the shop and towards her job which was a paid internship at a local hospital downtown, all she did was watch and help out with minor cases like cuts, sprains, X Ray's and the occasional stuff like questioning. She entered the hospital, sanitizing herself and changing into her uniform, walking over to her area, that being the Pediatrics Emergency room where her boss, mentor, whatever you might want to call him, Dr. Reyez, and the rest of the team were waiting for her.

"Morning everyone," she chirped at the tired yet awake health care workers, who all had smiles on their faces. "Morning Y/N, you're going to be practicing by yourself today, can you handle it?" Dr. Reyez asked her, which she just nodded her head with a smile. There wasn't a single ounce of doubt in her brain.

"I'm pretty sure yes! And I can just reach out to you guys if anything, right?"

"Yeah, just page us if anything. Your first patient should be here soon, just go wait by the desk," Reyez instructed her and that's exactly what she did. She sat on the desk for over 20 minutes until someone came in with a toddler covered in rashes.

"Hi baby, I just need to ask you and mommy a few questions, yeah?" She sweetly and patiently asked the 5 year old as his mom was filling out some papers, to which he just nodded his head.

"Okay, Xavion, did you eat something new today? Maybe something you've never eaten?" She asked and both the mom and son nodded their heads.

"Do you think he was allergic to something?" The mom asked, causing Y/N to shrug.

"Well, it depends. We need to get an allergy test for him. It doesn't hurt or anything, we just scratch and pour a drop of the allergen over it and see how they react. Mom, do you happen to remember what he ate today for the first time?" She replied by recording some notes down on her clipboard before telling a nurse to get an Allergy Antibody Test ready.

"He ate everything that he usually does except for some broccoli I gave him," the mom replied and Y/N nodded her head before writing it down on her clipboard and walking them to the testing room.

Once the results came back around half an hour later, Xavion was, in fact, allergic to broccoli, and other things that Y/N had to explain to the mother. She got about 15 minutes of break time before Reyez called her another minor emergency.

"It's an 11 year old, possible breakage or sprain to the leg, you can handle this one right?" He asked and she nodded her head, "Good, they're in room 217, good luck," he added before sending her off to the room.

She quickly made her way over to it, grabbing her clipboard on the way, "Hi, I'm Dr.Y/LN, I'm going to be taking care of you guys today! May I have the child's name and date of birth please?" She nicely asked as she walked inside the room, quickly walking over to the desk area that was in the corner and placing her stuff down.

"Uhhh, Caleb Dolan, August 17, 2008," a deep voice that she could recognize from anywhere spoke as she turned around. Her heart dropped at the sight of Grayson in front of her. She tried to reassemble herself, after all, she couldn't make any mistakes right now, Reyez was trusting her and she couldn't afford to mess the opportunity up.

"Caleb, August 17, 2008," she mumbled as she wrote it down on her piece of paper, "Caleb, do you mind telling me what happened, babe?" She asked with a smile on her face. Her smile turned into a small frown as she looked up at the boy who happened to be in pain.

"Me and uncle Gray were practicing for the soccer game that's next and I fell on the mud and hit my leg really hard," he explained as she walked towards him nodding her head.

"On a scale of 1 to 10, One being okay while 10 being the worst, how would you rate the pain?" She asked, walking over to the walk to grab a pair of gloves, putting them on, and walking back towards him.

"Uhh a seven," he replied and she nodded her head.

"Okay Caleb, just know this might hurt a little okay? It's just protocol to check if it's dislocated, broken, or sprained okay?" She asked and he nodded his head, a few tears falling down his face from fear. Grayson quickly leaned down to wipe off his face whispering a quiet 'you'll be okay' as Caleb grabbed his hand.

"Can you try and move your ankle for me? Just try and move it," she explained and he muttered at quiet yes before moving his foot in a slow circle, she nodded her head before placing both hands over his ankle checking for any bumps, which there were none to find, "Luckily for you Caleb, it's just sprained! There are no bumps meaning it's not dislocated, and you can move it meaning it's not fractured! Just to make sure, we're going to need an X Ray' just to make sure there are no hidden surprises yeah? Dr. Lindsey will do those with you, and I'll be right here when you come back," she smiled up at the boy before Dr. Lindey moved him to a wheelchair and took him to the X Ray room, leaving Y/N and Grayson alone in painful silence.

"So this is what you do? This is where you work?" Grayson was the first to speak after a couple of quiet seconds,

She cleared her throat and nodded her head, placing her hands inside her white jacket, "Yeah. It's a paid internship so it's basically a job, what about you? What are you doing here?" She asked to make direct eye contact with him.

"Moved here after me and E graduated, looking for some roles and an agent," he spoke, his voice not as deep yet shakier than when he first spoke.

"Any luck with that?"

"Yeah. We've landed a few small roles here and there," he answered and she just nodded her head.

"That's good! I'm glad everything's working out for you," She gave him a genuine smile before continuing to fill out Caleb's paperwork.

"Listen, I know it's been 2 years but-," Grayson began to speak before Y/N cut him off. "-Grayson just don't. I'm at work right now, and it's enough seeing you after 2 years, but I don't really need this right now. I'm sorry," She apologized before leaving the room to get some papers before walking back in, thankfully Caleb was already in the room when she walked in.

"I'm going to wrap your ankle up with this and then you're good to go, buddy. Make sure you don't apply pressure on it for two weeks. And carefully when you're playing any sport, I don't want you back here," she said while wrapping his ankle up carefully. She gave Grayson the discharge papers, their hands touching each other for a split second before she pulled away waving them off before walking to where her team was.

"That guy was looking at you intensely," Reyez pointed out, earning a glare from her.

"Don't even start," she rolled her eyes before taking a sip from her water bottle that was on her desk.

"Wait is that the?" Jacob, one of the nurses, asked and she nodded her head.

"Yeah, that's him," she sighed, shaking her head.

"Holly shit Y/N, I knew you said he was hot, but girl? That man is hotter than-,"

"Mackenzie, don't you dare," Y/N joked towards her other co-worker, "God why do you do this to me? I was almost over him and then you put him on my path again? The universe hates me,"

"I'd go for it again if I were you," Mackenzie encouraged earning a glare from her.

"Alright, leave her alone before she starts to crumble, Mackenzie go fill out reports, Y/N go take a breather," Reyez ordered them around and they all nodded their heads, going on their way to do what they were told.

. . .

Soft snores began to quietly run past her lips as she drifted off to sleep, all before a feeling of suddenly falling down an empty whole woke her up. She shook her head letting out a quiet 'fuck' before turning to look towards the clocks on her nightstand, 3:30 AM being brightly displayed on it. Y/N let out a loud sigh, knowing she wouldn't be going back to sleep anytime soon.

Her mind suddenly clouded with knotted thoughts and notions, too many of them just to focus on a single one. She pushed her body up, just enough for her to reach over and grab the small yellow backpack that she lazily threw on the floor, pulling her journal and pen out before throwing it back on the floor.

She clicked the pen and opened the journal, blank pages waiting to be filled up, her hand delicately moved along the paper as she scribbled letters and words on the empty pages, thoughts clearing out of her head, one by one.

I saw him today. He looked different. He's grown. After it all, it has been two years. His voice is deeper too. He wanted to talk, but I said no. Maybe if I did, I would fall for him again, or something. I'm doing just fine, so why did he have to move here. Anyway, Reyez finally allowed me to take care of patients by myself today. It was fun, I liked it, I guess. Luckily I'm free tomorrow because I can't sleep at all now. Maybe it's the repeating thoughts of him running through my mind, or just simply the lack of melatonin in my body right now. I'll probably go to the park tomorrow, stop at the cafe first then make my way there, but anyway, I'm going to try and sleep now.

It was a quick entry, nothing special, just her major thoughts being written down, just enough for her to feel better. She got up from the bed walking over to the kitchen grabbing a water bottle before leaning against the counter and sipping it. She crossed her bare legs over each other, looking out of the big window in her living room. Her favorite part about the apartment? It was the window that looked down on bright LA city. Y/N could sit there for hours and not notice the time pass by, she knows this because it happened before. She left the kitchen and walked towards the window, propping her body down on the small couch she had in front of the window. She laid her head on her hand, watching the few cars that sped down the street, the small yet bright red lights disappearing into the distance as her eyes followed them until they could.

Her eyes softly closed as she laid down on the couch, drifting off into another universe. The next morning she woke up at around 8 AM, doing her daily routine, except she stopped at the Cafe, picked her things up, and made her way to the park. It was an old park, there was an old playground that seemed like it hadn't been used in years. She sat down on an old bench drinking her coffee as she watched the scenery.

She didn't take her notebook out, her mind not having any thoughts, or at least no thoughts relevant enough for her to write down. She just took her time to take her surroundings in. She admired how the wind moved the trees, yet they were so strong they didn't crack. The way the birds lifted off whatever surface they were, and drifted off into the sky. She admired the rare butterflies that randomly appeared just to disappear once again. She simply admired the earth, something that she didn't do quite often; Always being too deep in her thoughts to actually study the things around her.

"They're beautiful aren't they?" Grayson's voice spoke out of nowhere, making Y/N do a slight jump in her seat as her heart raced.

She brought her hand up to her chest, a sigh falling past her lips as she glared at Grayson who was chuckling, "You fucking scared me,"

"Sorry," he sighed, sitting down next to her.

They both let out sighs. Both knowing that there was no escaping the conversation that was about to happen, a conversation that was long due.

"You could, hmm, you could go first," she spoke after a few moments of silence, throat dried making her clear it in the middle of some of her words.

"I'm sorry about yesterday. You were working, and Ummm, it wasn't the right place or time to talk about things. I'm also sorry because I never gave you an explanation as to why we should've broken up. After all, you didn't ask anyway," He softly spoke. He thought every word through, studied each meaning before letting them run past his lips.

"I didn't ask because it's what you wanted. Your decision was clearly made. I mean, I don't think breaking up with someone is a spontaneous thought is it? Your decision was made, and if you felt like I was holding you back, then I had to let you go, if I loved you, then I think I did the right thing." Her words were careful too. And quiet, so quiet feeling that if she spoke too loud the things around her would break.

"I didn't want to break up. I felt like it was the right thing to do, you know? We were always so busy, and we made time for each other, but it was exhausting. And when you were out with friends, I felt like I was annoying you or something," he sighed and she shook her head, the thought of her ever getting annoyed at Grayson's presence being absurd.

"Oh God absolutely not," she chuckled, "I thought I was annoying you. Like I wondered if you talked about me, or not. I wanted to know if I annoyed you because I felt like I did,"

It was true. In her journal, multiple pages were filled out with her question herself on whether Grayson talked about her or not. Even after the breakup, she wondered if he'll ever need her. Most pages were about him, all of her thoughts revolved around him, always.

"I did. All the time, to the point where I said your name subconsciously," he smiled, remembering the conversations he had with his friends about her, and how great she was.

"I did too, well not say but write," she sighed, leaning her back on the bench.

"You wrote about me?"

"Grayson you know I did, that's a dumb question," She shook her head, taking a sip of the coffee that was somehow still warm.

"Do you still write about me?" He asked and she stayed quiet, not knowing whether she should answer truthfully or not.

"Honestly speaking, I do. I write about everything that comes to mind, so sometimes? Yeah," she sighed, knowing that it would be easier if they just told the truth.

Maybe this was the closure that they both needed, yet never got. Maybe this was going to help her fully move on from him, and have thoughts that don't include her.

Or maybe not. Maybe this would help them reconnect. Y/N left it all up to the universe. She was a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and that you can't change your future since it's already written about. When she got home after a couple of hours she took a shower, lit on her favorite candles, and did the expected. She took out her notebook and wrote.

We spoke today. He told me the reason why we broke up. It wasn't an intentional meeting though, I was just admiring nature. I was looking at the butterflies I think. He randomly spoke. And I know it was long due and needed so I just told him to say it. It's better to just get it over with than to just keep pushing it back, I think. He told me why he wanted to break up, which right now, sounds like a valid reason. I just wonder why he didn't just say it back then. It would've saved me a lot of nights, don't you think? He now knows I write about him, and where I go to write about him. Maybe I shouldn't go there anymore. It sounds out of this world I know. But maybe, just maybe, I should just close that chapter in my life.

There are just too many memories of him at Beachwood. That's where he surprised me the first time he came to visit. And it's where I write about him the most. I could find another cafe near here, there's plenty.

I just wonder if we're ever going to see each other again. If I'll ever fall for him again, if that is even possible. Because I don't think you could fall for the same person twice, right?

That was the last page in her journal. All the pages filled with her delicate letters, her writing being eternal. Filled with on-going words until the end, where an unanswered question laid. The weight that was once on her shoulders began to fade, and for once in her life, the thought of her future no longer made her afraid.

 This is the first time I’m proud of a something I wrote, so if this flops, I will deactivate! Just kidding, sort of. Anyways, yeah, I feel like my writing has improved, and as always, if you have any tips, and/or constructive critism, please, please, please drop them in my inbox, and don’t worry, I won’t say your hurting my feelings lmfao!! 

Tag List:   @guiltydols @evergreendolan @ydolanssss @rhyrhy462 @resilientdolan @simplyxdolxstyles @simplyxdolxstyles​ {If you wanna be added to my Tag List, just let me know :) lol}

[troped-fanfic-challenge]

JATP ROUND TWO FICS!

We received seventeen (17!!!!!) Fics for the Second Round of the JATP TROPED Event! These fics were fluff-filled and super fun, and we loved to see how you all challenged yourselves with the theme, tropes, and pairings!

Please try to read as many fics as you can! Take some notes, leave some kudos/comments for the authors, and help us vote on the winners!

Voting will be open until May 14th at 11:59pm EST! Vote here:

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/BZ3W5FT

Please rank ALL the fics in each question based on the USE of each trope, the theme, the fics overall, and the two bonus polls (best setting + most unique pairing)! Your #1 spot should be the best answer and your last spot the least likely answer for the question. The Best Overall Poll will determine who will be writing in the Final Round! We ask that you please rank EVERY fic, so we can avoid technical difficulties! A reminder that you must include a Tumblr or AO3 username/URL, and you may only vote once, we will NOT count multiple votes by the same person.

————

Okay, Campers, Rise and Shine! (Rated T) [Julie x Luke]

Summary: When Reggie launches a particularly ill-advised prank war at HGC Ranch, Luke's fully prepared to take it in stride.

When the days start looping, though, he begins to suspect that this might all be a little bit above his head.

In other words, he's at least 78% sure that the time loop isn't a direct result of Reggie's pranks.

Maybe 77%.

Oh, well.

At least he's not in it alone.

(The Groundhog Day meets Gravity Falls meets Summer Camp meets The Author's Own Distaste For Prank Wars AU that no one asked for. Ever. At all.)

Starting To Forget (Just What Summer Ever Meant To You) (Not Rated) [Flynn x Carrie]

Summary: Last summer didn't end on a positive note for Carrie Wilson - she and her girlfriend broke up on the last night of camp, and she's been miserable since. But it seems that the universe is intent on having her fix that this summer. Even if that means she has to live through the same day over and over and over again until she does.

Creative B.S. Was No More, Was No Less (Look Around, You're Gonna Miss What You Found) (Rated T) [Alex x Luke, Flynn x Reggie]

Summary: The midnight men move again

Don't know when

Best friends forever

In trouble again

Here's to you, here's to me

Over the rafters and we're free

--- Over the Rafters, Rick Schiffman

***

Alex and Luke go undercover on a mission to a summer camp in order to find a talisman that could endanger the camp and all the kids. While there, they bond with the kids and make peace with the fact that they broke up.

While Alex and Luke are away, Flynn accidentally fucks with time.

bitch but like romantically (Rated T) [Flynn x Carrie]

Summary: The dining hall’s exactly the same as it has been for two mornings now, and Flynn doesn’t hesitate to poke Willie twice on the nose and whisper “pancake” on her way past their seat.

His eyes widen and he whips his head around to follow them, excitement glimmering in their eyes.

“Really?” they blurt. Flynn rolls her eyes and nods.

~

or: flynn gets stuck in a time loop. {for troped jatp round 2}

down by the bay (Rated T) [Alex x Willie]

Summary: Over time, Camp Phantom has simply become known as a selective summer camp: one that took only the kids that Caleb saw promise in. And Caleb wasn’t exactly lying. He really did take only the ones he saw promise in, he simply looked for different traits than others might.

For example, say, hypothetically, a boy who could see the future. Or, hypothetically, a girl who could interact with ghosts. Or, hypothetically, a boy who could summon objects to him with a simple thought. Or, and this is completely hypothetical mind you, a boy who could manipulate time.

Those might be some traits that Caleb saw promise in. Just, like, as examples.

Time will tell (But only if you do it right) (Rated T) [Flynn x Carrie]

Summary: Carrie had been acting a little off for a week or so, but Flynn was pretty much known for seeing something in nothing, and that was probably what they were doing then. If something was going on, Carrie would tell her eventually.

OR

Who knew all it took was a little bit of miscommunication to mess up time itself?

and so it begins (Rated T) [Bobby x Reggie]

Summary: It’s the first day of their second week at Camp Carolling (they’re spending an entire month, and they’re getting paid to be there!) when Reggie gets a little lost in the woods. During this misadventure into the woods, he finds an egg shaped rock, an inhabited cabin that may or may not be riddled with signs, and something that might be magic. He probably doesn't get paid enough to discover magic.

or, when they were thirteen years old, four boys met at camp carolling and eventually became a band that almost became something legendary. now, all four boys are coming back as counselors, three boys in one band and one boy in his own solo act.

so begins the reunion, though it doesn't go how any of them imagine.

Porcupine Day (Rated T) [Bobby x Ray x Rose]

Summary: It’s been fifteen years since Trevor broke up with Ray and Rose and they’re... not fine, but managing. But when Trevor to adds insult to injury and buys the camp across the lake from the one they once owned together, the two camps become locked in a bitter rivalry. With neither side willing to set aside their pride and work out their issues, the universe decides to settle their fates itself.

Day After Day (After Day After Day) (Rated T) [Alex x Willie]

Summary: When Alex met Willie just after their senior year of high school, they spent a wonderful three months dating before their relationship ended in a blaze of glory. Now, four years later, they meet again as counselors at a summer camp. The only problem? Alex keeps reliving their first day together. The day that Luke had declared "Prank Day."

This is not how Alex pictured his summer going.

clocks move faster (it's all we're after) (Rated G) [Julie x Luke]

Summary: Julie likes it when her friends are happy, so when she realizes she's stuck in a time loop, she uses her knowledge to make sure everything works out for everyone... except she conveniently forgets to factor herself (and Luke) into the mix.

Touch of Magic (Not Rated) [Alex x Luke]

Summary: When everything stands in Luke and Alex’s way of getting to be with the people they love, they have to repeat the day over and over until they can get the happily ever after that they want.

The play's the thing (that goes wrong) (Rated T) [Alex x Willie]

Summary: Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day to day for Macbeth, but not so for Alex and the production of Hamlet that he is directing and starring in. And while he's stuck repeating the day of the performance over and over, mishaps of all kinds befall the cast.

anything, anything (for another run with you) (Rated T) [Alex x Willie]

Summary: The moment Alex steps foot in Camp Greenwood, he knows that this summer is a bad idea.

He knows it as soon as he sees tan skin, long hair, and a tie-dyed crop top at the check-in table.

Willie.

-

the camp counselor/exes/prank war/time loop fic of your dreams (unless you read all of the other troped round 2 fics lmao)

there’s a glorious sunrise, dappled with the flickers of light (Rated T) [Julie x Luke]

Summary: What comes next happens in slow motion. Luke’s foot catches on the last rung of the ladder. Julie watches as he stumbles a step forward, barely catching himself before falling on his face. The ladder clatters to the floor below. The trapdoor, no longer propped open by it, falls closed with a loud thunk, the lock clicking into place. They’re stuck.

“Luke!” she exclaims loudly. “Look what you did!” Julie drops to her knees in front of the trap door, desperately trying to fit her fingers between the wood and the stone to pry it open again. Of course it doesn’t work.

“What?” he snaps back. “I wouldn’t be up here in the first place if it weren’t for you trying to fuck us over.”

or: ex-best friends Luke and Julie, working as camp counselors at rivaling camps, find themselves stuck in a time loop

the daughter of apollo (Rated T) [Julie x Luke]

Summary: (the JATP x Camp Half Blood AU that nobody asked for)

maybe the world isn't ending (maybe it's been postponed) (Rated G) [Julie x Luke]

Summary: Alex runs his fingers through Willie’s hair. “I think it’s best to just leave them to their own prank war at this point. Let’s not forget that time Julie put hot sauce in the coffee pot and my mouth was on fire for an entire hour.”

“You’re exaggerating, Alex-”

“I most certainly am not,” Alex cuts Reggie off.

“Or how about the time Luke tried to put glitter in Julie’s bed,” Carrie joins in, “but got my bed instead? I can appreciate some glitter, but even I know when enough is enough.”

“Suffice it to say,” Willie finishes after they’ve passed around a dozen or so more memories of pranks from the summer, “we’re all done being your collateral damage. Whatever Julie has planned for you tomorrow, Luke, you’re on your own.”

-

It's the last day of camp and Julie has one more prank planned for Luke. He just doesn't know what it is.

Here We Go Again (Rated T) [Julie x Luke]

Summary: Julie blinked as she stared at the place Euterpe had disappeared. What did that even mean? What journey? Old places and lost faces? What was she talking about? But before she could dwell on the questions swirling around in her mind, the sky full of stars began to move, shifting in place and descending until they were all around her. Julie felt her feet leave the ground as she rose up and up. One star in particular was burning brighter than the others, growing bigger in front of her.

It grew and grew, until the light was blinding and Julie had to throw a hand up against the harsh light. She closed her eyes as the light surrounded her and then she was falling. Falling down, down, down.

[tonightthestarsalign]

love you to the moon and to saturn

This started out as a kid!fic because of @thedeathdeelers talking about a juke baby in this post. It did not end up there. It’s much more of a character study I think. In fact this is roughly 2k and 1.5k happen before Julie ever gets pregnant. Idk what to tell you. 

I might try this again sometime and actually write something about the kid, for tonight though, this is all I have. 

That electricity he felt the first time he played the guitar is back, but stronger than ever. He can feel it pulsing under his skin when he looks at Julie. She turns to smile at him and he feels like floating. He just might have been wrong about what being in love feels like.

or: the three times Luke fell in love. 

Luke finds the love of his life at age 11. His parents buy him a guitar for music classes in school and there’s no looking back. He learns the chords the instructor teaches him with the kind of determination and focus that his parents have never seen on him. The boy that can never focus on anything for more than ten minutes suddenly spends hours sitting in a corner and trying again, and again, and again until he can place his fingers exactly the way he should, switching between the chords faster and faster.

The day he finally plays the first melody is burned into his memory for the rest of his life. The feeling of pure joy cursing through his veins is something unlike anything he ever experienced. There’s always the feeling of electricity under his skin, but with his hands on the guitar, it rushes into his heart and makes him feel alive in a way nothing has ever done before. 

He goes home that day, his fingers bleeding from the strings, and tells his mother he found the love of his life. Emily yells at him until her voice gives out. It’s their first fight of many. 

He dies only six short years later and in his final moments he’s glad to have found love, even with how short his life was, because how could something ever surpass the feeling he got when he had his guitar and a song? 

His stomach is cramping, tears are rolling down his cheeks and he is happy he’d gotten to experience the thrill of being on stage, the feeling of people singing his lyrics back to him. How could something have ever made him feel more?

He gets a second shot at life, or at least something close to it, when they tumble from the black room into their studio. Technically the studio is the same, the changes are slight, but noticeable. The plants all over the space, the chairs on the ceiling, their instruments missing and the cute girl register in his mind, but he doesn’t really care. He is back here by some magic and he is going to use his chance. When Julie tells them that it hasn’t been an hour but 25 years, he does falter for a moment. Why would the universe not only give them a second chance, but why 25 years later? 

Not soon after he finds out they can still play and people can hear it and all the questions go out the window. What does it matter why he is here? What does it matter if he isn’t actually alive, when he can still do the thing he loves most?

The next morning he hears Julie sing and something in the back of his mind tells him that he was wrong. Maybe he wasn’t actually in love with music. Julie sings and his heart that has been silent ever since the black room, throbs once in his chest.

In the following days they spend an intimate moment in the kitchen, sing together on stage and write songs together and that little voice in the back of his mind gets louder and louder. It gets to the point where he can barely ignore it anymore. 

She tells them how important the school dance is and Luke in all his rage and thirst for revenge ruins it. They go  to Caleb’s club and miss her dance. He looks at Julie’s disappointed face when they finally make it to the school and the pain in his chest comes close to the night he died. He feels like the worst person in the universe.

Somehow, she forgives them. He’s not sure he deserves it. But he is slowly but surely realizing Julie Molina is a better person than him and so of course she forgives him for hurting her. 

It’s when they are at Eats&Beats and they sing about knowing they can make it and closing their eyes when his heart throbs once more. Julie’s voice rings through the room and the words echo in his head. He looks at this girl that he’s only known for a couple days really, and he realizes that that little voice might have a point. 

That electricity he felt the first time he played the guitar is back, but stronger than ever. He can feel it pulsing under his skin when he looks at Julie. She turns to smile at him and he feels like floating. He just might have been wrong about what being in love feels like. 

Even though she has forgiven him, his little stunt with Caleb almost costs him dearly. The jolts keep getting worse and when he finally tells her about what’s happening, she looks at him with wide, sad eyes and it breaks his heart. He swears to himself that we will do everything in his power to make sure she nevers looks at him like that again. 

They try to save themselves by performing at the Orpheum and it’s a n incredible rush to stand there on stage, to do what he never got to do while alive but the second they take their bow, he realizes that it didn’t work. 

Julie finds them later that night, on the ground of the garage where they poofed to because they have nowhere else to go. She begs them to take Caleb up on his offer and on her face is that same look that he never wanted to see again. He pushes up on his feet and walks up to her and tells her that no music is worth making without her. 

And really, while once upon a time he thought music was the love of his life, he now looks at this fiery, beautiful girl and knows, that while he no longer may be technically alive, he is much more in love with her than he ever was with music. 

But then again, it is hard to say where music ends and Julie begins. 

Julie throws herself at him and he doesn’t even think about it as his arms come up and catch her. It’s a couple moments before he notices that they’re touching. She pulls back a little, and it’s like a magnetic force that makes him follow her. If he could, he’d never let her go again.

It’s only later that night, that he realizes his heart is beating again. 

He gets an actual second chance at life because the person he loves more than anything pulled him back from the death. 

She kisses him the next night, on her porch underneath the starlight. It’s still fascinating to him that they can touch, so when she steps closer and takes his hand, his breath catches. She tugs softly on his hand, until he stumbles a step forward, right into her space. There’s only inches between them, and she has to tip her head back a little to look into his eyes. He never realized how much shorter she is.

She looks up at him with those wide brown eyes and smiles. 

“I’m going to kiss you now.” She whispers softly and all Luke can do is nod. Julie pushes up on her tiptoes and then their lips are touching. 

It’s not Luke’s first kiss, not by far. But it feels like it’s the first one that matters.

The sky is full of stars, but the brightest one is right here in his arms.

Afterwards everything happens so quickly that even looking back it feels like only moments passed. 

Ray gets them set up with passports and social security numbers so they can go back to school. Andi Park calls again and they end up with a contract and a label. ‘Stand Tall’ gets released as a single and hits no. 2 on the Billboard Hot 100. Half a year later, in the middle of Luke’s senior year they drop their first album. They spend the summer touring. Several more tours and albums follow and by the time they’re hit their early twenties all of them are set for life. 

Julie and him get married one autumn afternoon. The ground is dappled in flickers of light from the sun passing through the colorful leaves. Julie is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. The simple white dress looks ethereal against her skin. Her curls tumble down her shoulders and Luke can’t believe she chose him. 

He stumbles through his vows, cries at Julie’s and slides the ring on her finger with a ridiculous smile on his face. Alex, Reggie, Carlos and Flynn whoop when they kiss at the end of the ceremony. Ray is smiling, his cheeks wet from tears. It’s everything. 

They buy a house a couple weeks later. It’s close to the shore, with a nice backyard for the puppy they adopt. Biscuit is a golden retriever and when she looks up at Luke in the shelter from where she’s hiding underneath a blanket, he knows he’s taking her home with them.

They get two rocking chairs for the porch where they spend their evenings with Luke’s acoustic and their shared songwriting notebook.  

Julie tells him she is pregnant two years later. Luke cries. 

Elena Rose is born in the middle of the night a couple days before christmas. Luke looks at the little bundle on Julie’s chest and forgets to breathe. His heart thumbs in his chest. His wife’s hair is pulled back in a messy bun and she is obviously exhausted. She looks the most beautiful he has ever seen her.

Slowly he steps closer. Elena is sleeping, her little fingers flexing against Julie’s skin. Her face is a little scrunched up and there’s a tiny tuft of dark hair on her head. He looks down at this living being he created and feels like his heart might burst. She is barely a person and still he loves her. He loves her so much it could span eternities and galaxies, life and death.

“She’s gorgeous.” He mutters. 

“I know.” Julie smiles. “Come here.” She pats the bed beside her and Luke is all too willing to slide in next to her. 

“I can’t believe we made her.” He says. 

“You want to take her?” Julie asks.”I’m going to be falling asleep pretty soon.” She doesn’t even wait for his answer, instantly passing over the little body. He doesn’t even get the chance to hesitate before she’s in his arms. Julie drops her head on his shoulder as he settles Elena on his chest. 

His daughter opens her eyes and looks up at him with wide blue eyes. His heart swells in his chest.

They get to take her home two days later and Luke puts her down in her crib. She’s wiggling a little, her hands and feet moving in her sleep. 

He leans against the door frame to his daughters room and watches her sleep, still unable to believe that he brought this life into the world. There’s a melody in his head and he’s itching to write it down, but can’t bring himself to look away from her for even a minute.

Julie steps up next to him, leaning against his side. 

“I never thought I could love anything more than you.” He admits quietly.”But she’s…”

Julie smiles. “I know what you mean.” 

He presses a kiss to his wife’s temple. “Sometimes I can’t believe how I got so lucky. I died in 95 and here I am, 35 years later with more than I could have ever wished for.”

“The universe has been kind to us.” Julie agrees quietly.

And as he stands there, with his wife in his arms and his daughter asleep in her bed, he sends a thank you to whoever might be listening. 

[k-and-the-arts]

Lover - Willex

Pairing: Alex Mercer/Willie Word Count: 2412 Based on Taylor Swift’s song “Lover.” Read on AO3

We could leave the Christmas lights up 'til January

And this is our place, we make the rules

And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you dear

Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years?

 It all happened so fast. One minute, Alex was walking down Sunset Boulevard, clearing his head, and the next minute he was getting run over by a gorgeous boy on a skateboard. He wanted to be mad, he really did, but when the boy started talking, all anger dissolved. The skater was charming and dorky and was able to convince Alex to follow him after exchanging only a few words. 

Willie guided Alex to his favorite spot on Sunset Boulevard -- a simple bench that was “the best place to people-watch” as the skater had said. People in weird furry costumes and outfits of dead celebrities walked by, but Alex only had eyes for Willie. The brunette talked about everything that popped into his head, and none of it seemed to have a coherent flow. He mentioned his favorite places to skate, random facts about the ocean, and weird ways different famous people died. The blonde talked about his friends, the band, and the one time they ate street dogs that were so bad, they had food poisoning for three days.

“Reggie was convinced we were going to die,” Alex had told Willie, causing the other boy to burst into a fit of giggles that sounded like music to Alex’s ears. 

The drummer didn’t say much after that; he was content with listening to Willie’s voice and all of the stories that fell from his lips. He loved watching the way Willie’s eyes sparkled when something he was talking about reminded him of another topic, and it amazed Alex that the boy knew so much about everything.  

There was a lull in the conversation as the sun started to set, painting the sky in beautiful shades of purples and pinks and oranges. Willie was watching the sky but Alex was watching Willie. There was a dazzling glow around the boy that made him look ethereal. A small gust of wind blew through the street, causing Willie’s long hair to float gracefully around him. Alex’s breath caught in his throat and he tried to take it all in. He wanted to replay this moment in his mind over and over again for as long as he could remember it. 

There was suddenly a small, sharp pain in his chest; a sign of his anxiety taking over. He tried to push it down, push it away. His instincts told him to run, this is happening too fast, but his heart told him to keep his feet planted firmly to the ground. He had never felt so smitten about someone so quickly before and it was the most exciting yet terrifying thing he had ever felt. 

Even though they had been talking for only a few hours, Alex felt like he had known the skater his entire life. It felt like they were childhood friends, talking about everything and nothing at the same time. But Alex knew there was still so much to learn, and his heart ached for so much more. 

As the sky grew dark, Willie’s gaze floated back to him. Alex quickly looked away, focusing his attention on the fairylights on building awnings and edging that had created an intimate glow around them. If Willie had caught him staring, he didn’t say anything, and Alex appreciated that. 

“I love leaving the Christmas lights up until January,” Willie said suddenly, causing Alex’s eyes to snap back to the boy that was beautifully sculpted under the soft light.

“Hmm?” Alex hummed, hoping Willie would continue.

Willie gestured to the fairylights above them. “I didn’t get to experience a lot of proper Christmases growing up,” Willie said quietly, as if talking too loudly would shatter the tension that had grown around them. “I want to experience Christmas for as long as possible. So I try to leave the lights and decorations up for as long as Caleb will let me, which is usually in January.” 

The question was on the tip of Alex’s tongue -- Who’s this mysterious Caleb? 

But he stayed silent, nodding to acknowledge Willie’s words. He knew Willie would tell him if he asked, but he needed something to look forward to when they talked again. If they talked again.

Willie opened his mouth to speak again but the sound of smooth jazz interrupted him. The brunette pulled his phone out of his pocket and sighed. He ignored the call but stood up from the bench, slipping the phone back into his pocket and placing the helmet back on his head. 

“It was really nice to meet you, but unfortunately I have to go. I’ll catch ya later, Hotdog,” Willie smirked, letting his board drop to the ground.

 Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close forever and ever?

And ah, take me out, and take me home

You're my, my, my, my

Lover

  Alex wanted to run after him, wanted to follow him home. He immediately missed Willie’s warmth and light and yearned to be by his side again. He rewatched the entire afternoon in his mind like a movie, and by the time he made it back to the studio, his cheeks hurt from smiling so much. Julie and Flynn begged him to tell them everything, while Luke, Reggie, and Bobby teased him mercilessly. But he didn’t tell him any details and ignored the overdramatic swooning and kissy faces, refusing to let them ruin one of the best days of his life.

 We could let our friends crash in the living room

This is our place, we make the call

And I'm highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you

I've loved you three summers now, honey, but I want 'em all

 The next three years were the most difficult and exhilarating years in Alex’s life. While his relationship with Willie grew wonderfully, along with the band’s success, his relationship with his parents fell apart. As soon as he graduated, he packed his bags and found the cheapest apartment he could. He took the first job that would hire him and tried to support himself as best he could. The Molinas offered to take him in but he didn’t want to burden them. The band suffered as they tried to find a way to rehearse around everyone’s work schedule. Alex could feel his life crumbling around him and he found it harder and harder to wake up every day.

But then there was Willie. He was the light in the darkness and the glue that kept him together. 

And when Willie suggested they move in together, Alex felt his heart stop. 

“I’ve been wanting to move out for awhile now and I already found a place that I can afford and it’s decent and I know this is like, a crazy huge step but --”

“Yes.”

The word flew from his lips before he allowed his brain to catch up, over think, and lose his nerve. The large smile that grew on Willie’s face was all the confirmation he needed that he made the right decision. 

Willie convinced Alex to quit his shitty job and convinced Caleb to let the band play at the Hollywood Ghost Club whenever they weren’t playing at other gigs. They were finally living the dream. Rehearsing and writing during the day and playing to large crowds almost every night. 

After their sets at the club, they would just linger around the building, mingling and making connections with the Hollywood elite that could afford to be there. Alex would watch Willie work, flitting from table to table and chatting up anyone who would look in his direction. It was amazing to watch him go from a dorky skater boy that couldn’t even finish a complete story without switching to a new topic, to a super charming and eloquent figure that never failed to convince a guest to give a very generous donation to the club. 

Alex was also pretty sure that half of the crowd was just as besotted with Willie as he was. But he knew he didn’t have to be jealous of anyone in the room. He knew he had Willie’s entire heart, just as Willie had his. And at the end of the night, he would be the one that would be holding Willie’s hand, and kissing Willie’s lips, and laying next to him in bed.

And if their friends got a little too drunk to drive home, he would be the one to help Willie carry them back to their apartment. He would be the one helping Willie rearrange the living room so that their friends had a place to sleep. He would be the one thanking him for being the best boyfriend anyone could ever ask for. 

 Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close forever and ever?

And ah, take me out, and take me home (forever and ever)

You're my, my, my, my

Lover

 Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand?

With every guitar string scar on my hand

I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover

My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue

All's well that ends well to end up with you

Swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover

And you'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me

And at every table, I'll save you a seat, lover

  That same night, Alex was lying against Willie on the couch, playing with the skater’s rough, yet surprisingly soft fingers. Their friends were asleep, sprawled out everywhere on the living room floor, and Alex wished he could just freeze time and just stay in this moment forever. He was surrounded by his love and support and he couldn’t imagine anything better than this. Not until Willie whispered those words.

“Have you ever thought about marriage?” 

Alex sucked in a breath and his fingers were still against Willie’s. Had Alex thought about marriage? 

All the time.

Ever since they moved in together two years prior. But he always thought that it was too big of a thought; too obsessive. He didn’t want to scare Willie by moving too fast, even if they were just flashing ideas in his mind. He didn’t want Willie to leave him because he was too dependent, too attached to their relationship, too--

Alex realized how silent he had been and tried to scrounge up words so that Willie didn’t think he was freaked out, even if he kinda was.

But Willie didn’t seem to be bothered by Alex’s silence. Because Willie knew Alex so well. He knew exactly how Alex would react if he were to ask that kind of question. Willie continued, “I’ve thought about it a lot, recently. I’ve thought about us and this thing we’re doing. I don’t know all the details or anything, but I do know one thing for sure,” Willie paused and Alex looked up at him, waiting for the deep sentiment the boy was about to share. “Luke would definitely be the flower girl.”

This threw Alex into a fit of giggles and Willie’s smile was radiant. “I think Ruby would fight Luke for that position,” Alex said through his laughter.

At the mention of his sister, he sobered up. He had no doubt Ruby would absolutely want to be a part of his wedding; she would probably want to plan everything herself. He just hoped his parents would want to be there as well. Even if they didn’t agree with it, he’d hope they would at least care enough to see him happy. Thinking about how he would tell his parents and how they would react, his thoughts started to spiral once again.

It was as if Willie could sense his anxiety rising. He laced his fingers with Alex’s and squeezed reassuringly. 

Alex could feel Willie’s chest rumble as he spoke again. “We’re not gonna have a traditional wedding though. Those are too boring. Maybe we’ll do something crazy like have all the girls be groomsman and all the guys be bridesmaids. Or however it’ll work for us.” Alex didn’t really know either, but nodded in agreement. “And no traditional vows. We gotta get creative. Like, I dunno.  ‘I, Wilhelm Covington the Third,’”

“Willie, your first name isn’t Wilhem and you’re definitely not a ‘third,’” Alex chuckled, grinning up at his boyfriend.

“Shush, that’s what makes it creative. Now where was I? Oh yeah,

‘I, Wilhelm Covington the Third, with all the skateboard scars on my hand, take this magnetic force of a man,’” Willie paused, and Alex could practically see the smoke coming out of his ears as he tried to think of something funny. When that famous smirk crossed his features, Alex was ready to cringe. “‘I take this magnetic force of a man, Hotdog, to be my husband. Through cracked helmets and bad street dogs, and even when we’re ghosts.’”

Alex rolled his eyes but his smile only grew wider. He decided to play along, “and I promise to be super over-dramatic and constantly swooning over you.” 

“And you’ll save all your worst jokes for me. I want your lamest and dirtiest and cringiest jokes,” Willie added.

Alex nodded in agreement, trying to think of other funny vows. But the more he thought about it, the more everything was sinking in. Willie continued to ramble about silly vows and untraditional wedding things they could do. But all Alex could think about was the fact that Willie wanted to marry him. 

Willie wanted to marry him. 

He wanted to be Alex’s husband. He wanted to be Alex’s forever. No matter what life threw their way, Willie wanted to be by Alex’s side. He wanted to go everywhere and do everything with Alex. Through sickness, health, and everything in between. 

Alex looked back up at Willie and pushed himself up to interrupt his boyfriend with a gentle kiss to the lips. 

“Yes,” Alex whispered, his heart pounding and anxiety -- no, excitement -- filling his chest.

“Yes?”

“Yes, I’ll marry you.”

 Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close forever and ever?

And ah, take me out, and take me home (forever and ever)

You're my, my, my, my

Oh, you're my, my, my, my

Darling, you're my, my, my, my

Lover

[funsizearsonist]

Bleeding Ink (Luke angst)

Summary: Luke’s songwriting takes a hit when he gets hurt. He thought emotions made a song better, but he got the proportions wrong. or “Maybe have a little song with those feelings”

Category: Angst 

Fandom: Julie and the Phantoms

Paring: N/A

Word Count: 1,559

Warnings/Includes: Like 1 swear, some mentions of an argument, and some descriptions of ~sadness~

A/N:  I hope you like this! I'm still very new at writing fanfiction so as always, constructive criticism and any feedback in general are much appreciated!! Hope you like it!! 

Mandatory Thanking of the Betas: Thank u for supporting me on this @theolivekiddo!! I probably wouldn’t have posted it if not for you because I have no confidence and I thought it was ~bad~ :P I’m still not so sure it’s good but u convinced me to post it so that’s something I guess

AO3 link here

Please don’t repost my work without my permission, in part or whole. My work can also be found on AO3 under the same username. Thank you!

Jatp taglist: @n0wornever, @calamitykaty, @unsaidmegan, @morganayennefertyrell, @link-102, @crybabyddl, @willex-owns-my-heart (I’m hoping it’s ok to tag y’all bc u said in a post here that you’d like to be added to taglists but I can take you off anytime, just send me an ask :))

Taglist for everything <3: @theolivekiddo

Bleeding Ink

Luke wouldn’t ever admit it to anyone, but he’s not quite the carefree troublemaker people think. The band knew, of course. He never had to tell them, they just knew. Probably because they were his family, they knew pretty much everything about each other. And now Julie knows, too. That’s about everyone he can come up with, besides Willie and maybe Flynn, that he actually knows now, so it looks like his secret is safe. The issue is the carefree part. Because Luke may be a hell of a troublemaker but he cares a lot.

He cares about his family, even through their ups and downs. He cares about his friends, his band; they’re pretty much a family to him too. And he cares, so so much, about music. Music has been there his whole life. Mostly rock, his favorite, but he can appreciate pretty much any kind of music. He’s listened to music throughout his whole life. It made him feel better when he was sad, widened his grins when he was happy, and kept all the in-betweens interesting. 

He only loved music more when he started writing it. Luke started writing music late in middle school, but he would probably kill you if you knew. He always thought it was good he started early to get it all out of the way. It wasn’t really music yet, just putting down words without having anything to say. He still thinks they were less of lyrics and more like pages of word vomit. The old notebooks from that first year or so are probably still lying around somewhere, but Luke would rather look forward than back at all of that. He puts meaning into his music now, and Luke thinks it’s only ever gotten better, especially working with Julie. Except for a short period in the middle where it definitely got worse. 

The thing is, Luke puts emotion into every one of his songs. He thinks you can’t have truly good music without putting at least a little bit of heart in it; and Luke cares so much about all of his music he can’t honestly help it. Writing music has helped him understand his feelings, and it’s his biggest way of expressing them. Usually though, he doesn’t really need music as an outlet or anything. He loves playing the songs he’s worked on, all the emotions that go with them. The electric energy in Now or Never, the reassurance and connection in Bright, the determination and fearlessness in Stand Tall, all of his songs had pieces of himself in them. But he writes them because he wants to, not because he needs to get anything out. Most of the time, at least.

There was only really one instance in Luke’s life where that wasn’t the case. Where he was so overwhelmed with emotion that he had to get it out onto a page before he could move on. Dying and coming back as ghosts, making friends with the girl who brought you back and being able to play music again, only to find your only surviving bandmate stole your old songs, and the whole Caleb thing probably should have done it. The thing is, Luke (and Alex and Reggie) got put through that rollercoaster so fast that he could barely make out emotions from the jumbled blur, much less put them into music. Before he could even say “What the hell is going on here?!” Luke was writing new songs. For their new band with Julie, no less. And he had pretty much gotten past all that drama already, somehow. It probably had something to do with Julie. After all, “No music is worth making, Julie, if we’re not making it with you.”

The time that really got to Luke, was actually part of how he ended up playing up music anyhow. It all started when his mother got him a guitar for his birthday, happy to support his interest in music. Perhaps she didn’t understand quite how deep the interest ran, because she might never have gotten it if she had. He was immediately captivated by it, and within a week Luke had the basics pretty much down already. It didn’t take him long to get even better, and to decide to form a band with some friends. He went home that night, blood pumping fast with excitement, and told his mom the news. It didn’t go over quite as well as he thought.

His mother had already become a bit apprehensive about how much Luke had come to like the guitar, but she had decided not to say anything as she thought it was just a harmless hobby. But then Luke came home and told her he was in a band, and all the fears rushed to surface and spilled over. She never should have had that much of a reaction or been so harsh, but it was all because she cares about Luke. She is his mother after all. And he had already been falling a bit behind on schoolwork, spending all his free time working out new songs with his guitar. That would only get worse if he joined a band, not even considering his future and the bandmates he wanted to play with, and where they wanted to play music, and all sorts of other concerns that came out when Luke told her about the new band.

It really hit Luke hard that his mother was instantly full of criticisms. Couldn’t she just be happy for him? He came home all excited and she instantly twisted it into hurt and anger, which turned their discussion into more of a fight, or at least certainly didn’t help matters. He’s not quite sure anymore exactly what was said that night, but he got the memo- “You can’t ditch everything for a band when you live in this household” - so he lashed back with some venom of his own, and left. It didn’t even take a whole night for him to regret it. 

Biking away with basically only his guitar, the thing that mattered most to him but his mother hated most. Luke only took a good few minutes of furious pedaling to realize that he had no idea where he was going, and he was exhausted. All the fight drained out of him, all the adrenaline faded away, he was just hurt. No more energy to be angry, all the white noise of yelling in the argument cleared from his head, and he couldn’t believe his mother said all that to him. He was so excited to come home and tell his family about his new band, just earlier that evening. It already seemed like so long ago. He felt a little bad about the things he said back to his mom already too, but it was still very clear to him that they were in retaliation. If his mother hadn’t exploded at him for chasing his passion, it never would have happened. He ends up deciding to crash at the Molina’s place. After all Rose did say they could use the garage whenever they wanted. Luke was already almost drowning in this dread about everything that happened, and he was still too tired to really realize it. He just decided to knock out.

It hit him full force in the morning. Luke woke up in an unfamiliar room, confused for about half a second, before getting hit by a tidal wave of “oh, shit.” 

Fighting with his family is what really managed to upset him. Nothing in Luke’s life had ever hit him that hard before. That’s when his songwriting really hit a low point for a bit. He wrote Unsaid Emily once he had gotten himself together as a way to  conclude his feelings on the matter, and a way to say “I’m sorry” to his mom without actually saying it right to her. He wrote the song to summarize everything he had to say about what happened, but he tried to leave most of the emotion out of it. He learned his lesson about not putting his feelings about it all into song.

In the few weeks before that, his writing was closer to the state they were in middle school. Except this time instead of having nothing to say, he had too much he needed to get out, and he didn’t know how to make it into proper lyrics. He poured too much emotion into them. Instead of being a wave of energy over a crowd, they’d be more like a tsunami, too overpowering. Luke was just writing them for himself at that point, even the band wouldn’t see those songs, much less a stage. 

The one thing he could come up with to say on it, looking back, is that’s the thing about being hurt. You have too much to hold inside of you so you bleed your soul out onto paper in ink, but instead of making it beautiful, it just makes the pages dark. All the feelings are just as ugly when you put them down on paper, and once they’re no longer caught in your chest, you don’t want to have anything to do with them. But their ink still stains your hands, and you know they may be gone but you can never forget them. 

End A/N:  I wrote this all at like 3 AM so I wasn't really focused on the quality of the writing and more so the narrative, hope u don't mind that. It doesn't really?? Have a point?? I don't think I was going somewhere with it I just wanted to express my thought on how Luke would be doing. Let me know what you thought! If this wasn't written in the dead of night how could it have been better? What parts did you like about it? If you don’t want to give feedback, that’s fine. Just please reblog or maybe comment if you enjoyed it, don’t just leave a like. Thanks for reading!

[tangledstarlight]

work in progress wednesday 

hello hi! okay so i’m working on a few different things right now because i have no self control but i’d thought i’d show you the rough outline i have worked out for my reincarnation au since i just gotta super excited about the idea of it again. and also part of this juke fake dating au i have because i feel like if i post it somewhere it might make me actually finish it

reincarnation au

i work in a really annoying way in which i have to physically write stuff out first, so i’ve basically got all this on flashcards with extra information/plot details about each decade/century. and also a flashcard for each of the main characters, colour coded, with things that stay the same in each life, and points that tie them all together (i’m literally so close to ordering red string and creating a crime scene murder board for organisation hfj). 

i’m sticking with the greek gods vibe, mostly because i love a bit of greek mythology, which means rose is Hestia because the home, hearth & family vibes are strong in the molina household if you ask me. i havent settled on a god for caleb yet but i’m leaning towards one who deals with chaos? it’s still a little up in the air.

i’m still trying to figure out what’s going to happen between 300bc and the 1300′s because there’s gotta be at least one life in there somewhere yknow?

i have to say i’m most excited about writing the willie interlude chapter and boys as cowboys, they just feel like they’re gonna be fun. 

juke fake dating au

i really like what i have, and i love a fake dating au but i just...idk the motivation to actually finish it seems to have vanished and that makes me sad

“So. I’ve got a... proposition for you. Or a request I guess. A deal? An idea of mutual beneficial rewards?” Julie frowned, head tilted to the side as she thought about it. During all her rehearsing of this moment she had completely forgotten to think about how to actually approach the topic. 

Now she was just sounding crazy if the raised eyebrows Luke was shooting her way were any indication. 

“I’m listening. Unless you’re about to ask me to help you commit some kind of crime, then we might have to do this somewhere a little less,” he twirled a finger in the air and leaned in a little closer, lowering his voice to a whisper “public. Don’t wanna get caught.” 

He said it all with such an easy smile, calming her racing nerves without even realising that’s what he was doing. Or maybe he did know. Everyone always joked about how Luke was constantly wrapped up in his music, he didn’t notice much going on around him, but he could be surprisingly in tune with his friends' emotions when he wanted to be. Which is part of the reason why Julie was doing this, she reminded herself. There was a reason it was Luke she was asking. 

“I think we should fake date.”

The words hung in the air between them. And, now they were out in the open, Julie realised just how mad the whole idea sounded. The sight of Luke’s smile freezing, eyebrows rising higher as his eyes grew wider (a look that, under other circumstances would have made her laugh) had Julie rushing to get out her explanation before he could completely say no. She had put a lot of thought into this! 

“No, no, listen! I know it sounds weird and silly and completely crazy. But it makes sense! Dad and Carlos have been worrying and Tia is convinced I’ve sworn off relationships because I’m scared of getting hurt because of mom and what happened with Nick and Flynn is constantly trying to set me up on dates. Even though I’ve told them all I’m perfectly fine! There’s nothing wrong with being single and alone, and it’s not even like I’m alone-alone. I have friends. I’m not some kind of crazy recluse.” Julie felt herself spiralling into a rant and had to take a deep breath to pull herself back. Luke still hadn’t moved since she’d started speaking, though she could swear his lips twitched in an almost smile. 

“And! You’re always saying how your mom drives you mad about how you’ve never brought someone home to meet them. And Alex and Reggie are always teasing you about not being able to keep a date because you’re always scaring people away with your crazy intense music obsession and how you’re going to be forever alone surrounded by guitars instead of cats.” Reggie had gone into scary details about how he thought Luke’s life was going to play out, it was both terrifying and hilarious. 

“If we pretend to date for a few weeks it will get them all off our backs, we wouldn’t even have to change all that much about what we do now. Maybe just, dinner or something, hold hands. You already spend all your time here anyway. And then in a month or something we can have an amicable break up. Everyone wins.” She ended her speech a little out of breath, having rushed through all her thoughts. Luke is still looking at her, his eyes still wide and his smile frozen in place. But he was still sitting at the counter, which Julie was going to take as a good sign. 

“So? What do you think?” She chewed on her lip, casting her eyes down and trying - and failing - to not fidget with her fingers. Luke still hadn’t responded, hadn’t moved. Oh god, he thought it was a terrible plan didn’t he? 

Now he was never going to want to hang out with her again, he’d avoid coming to the cafe and stop inviting her to their gigs and she’d be down to only Flynn as a friend and she really would be a recluse. 

Was there a limit on how many cats you could adopt at once? She didn’t think her apartment building even allowed cats. Great, now she was going to have to move as well!

“Hey,” Luke’s voice was gentle as it pulled her out of her spiraling thoughts, and he must have been trying to get her attention for a while, she thinks, because one of his hands is reaching out to settle on top of hers that had started tapping insistently on the counter top. Julie hadn’t even realised she was doing that. 

“You put a lot of thought into this whole, fake dating thing, huh?” He says the words ‘fake dating’ carefully, slowly, like he’s worried about something. But Julie doesn’t know what. She nods her head though, blowing out a breath and raising her eyes again until they land on Luke’s own. 

“Even made a powerpoint. There were pictures and graphs.” 

Luke laughed at that and Julie felt all the sudden tension leave her shoulders. She’s reminded, again, that this is Luke and there is a reason why she’s asking him to part-take in her crazy plan. 

“I mean-” He pauses, tilting his head a little to the side, his eyes unfocused as he seems to think something over. Julie waits, forces her hand, that is still underneath his, to be still lest she seem impatient for his answer. Which she is, but Luke doesn’t need to know that. It feels like an eternity has passed before he’s blinking, eyes focusing on hers and a wide grin breaking across his face. Julie can’t help but smile back reflectively. 

“I guess it wouldn’t really change all that much about our lives, huh? We’d just get to hang out more. And it would be nice for my parents and the guys to get off my back about never going out on dates.”

It takes Juile a moment to realise what exactly Luke is saying. 

“Wait, you mean you’ll do it?” She had hoped he would agree, but actually hearing him say it is a whole other thing. 

“Yeah, of course I’ll do it. And hey, it could be kinda fun!” There’s an infectious excitement in Luke’s voice and Julie grins, impulsively turns her hand over on the counter top so she can link their fingers together and squeeze his hand.

[unicyclehippo]

You ever think about how Caduceus is probably gonna outlive and bury all the nein.

there is a garden far to the north of the empire ringed by three stone-and-iron-and-thorn walls. the gateways stand open and from deep within the garden there is the ever present bloom of flowers. it is hot here. it has been snowing for weeks but the garden air is humid and sweat immediately begins to prickle beneath cloth, beneath armour. buzzing insects drone on about insect business, the wind talks through the leaves and the grass. when the trees of the garden give way, the complex opens into hillocks and divots where swamps have crept in and claimed a place. ponds of murky water skinned over by immense lily-pads. croaking frogs hold parliament at their edges.

though it takes a while for a humanoid voice to come through, there is one here.

he is seated on a log beside a rather complex looking set-up—a crackling fire beneath it and boasting a squat little teapot above. a curtain of pink hair falls to one side of his head, laced back by a simple braid embedded with flowers. the braid must have been done for him for the firbolg is very old; his eyes, when he blinks them curiously toward the singing birds above, are clouded over with age and his fingers shake as he reaches for the pot to pour another cup.

his name is caduceus clay and he tells this easily to the young adventurer who steps into the garden. they have done their research, what they could, and they know who is buried here.

‘their graves,’ he repeats when the adventurer asks to see them. ‘you want to see them?’

‘yes, please.’

he scratches at the long goatee that curls down from his chin. ‘for a monk of the cobalt soul, i suppose i could do that.’ his laughter is rich and warm, surprised out of him when the monk blinks. ‘you did a very good job hiding it,’ he nods. ‘never was sure why you all like to do that, but you do.’ he shrugs. heaves up onto his feet. towering at a full seven feet, perhaps taller, there is a moment when he is silhouetted by the cloud-dimmed sun and shadows fall across an angular face and he is not jovial or warm but imposing indeed. and then the moment passes and he gestures toward the pot steeping above his contraption. ‘tea? this is from the—‘ nostrils flare in his broad nose. ‘eresovon family.’

‘ah. thank you, yes.’

the grin he gives them is not comforting, but it is amused. ‘dead people tea,’ he says.

the monk shivers, very aware that for a moment they were surrounded. not by ghosts, not exactly.

‘well alright then, follow me.’

//

‘you’ve read all about them, i suppose.’

the monk—a half-elf who introduces themself as archivist kosh—nods eagerly. ‘yessir! everything that is available from the archives regarding their travels after the alliance and as much as i could gather from before their emergence as heroes. there is very little indeed from before the slaying of the laughing hand,’

‘ah, yeah. him. he was not very nice,’ caduceus nods.

kosh pales, seeming to remember that this man indeed was a part of this same group they have studied for so long. ‘right. no. servant of the crawling king. not nice. i shall...make a note, shall i?’

‘seemed pretty obvious to me but sure, yeah.’

caduceus doesn’t lead them far before they reach a well. he stands hunched beside it and doesn’t speak. kosh blinks. searches for a sign of what they are doing here. they shift their weight from their heels to the balls of their toes, bounce a few times to bleed off the restless energy.

‘this is where we put fjord. he made it himself.’ caduceus steps around, waving kosh to follow, and shows them the sword embedded into the stone.

embedded isn’t the right word. the stone has grown around it—creeping vines of granite holding the sword to the side of the well. kosh reaches out before pulling their hand back.

‘go ahead,’ the gardener rumbles. ‘everyone always wants to tug on it.’ he waits a moment, head tilted to the side, and then laughs quietly.

kosh wonders if they should write in their report that the gardener has a rather juvenile sense of humour. it is something they can decide on later; first, they want to try and pull the sword from the stone, as it were.

the handle is terribly cold, at first, enough to make them want to snatch their hand away. they don’t. instead, they hold tighter and lift and to their great surprise, the sword grates against stone for a moment before sticking again.

‘hmm,’ the gardener says. ‘interesting.’

‘is it?’

‘possibly. not sure.’

‘oh.’

//

fjord spent many years building wells, caduceus tells them as they wander the garden. partly because of his connection to water, definitely, but there was something comforting to building that he always enjoyed. maybe the fact that he would have people join him and learn how to do it themselves, how to make the repairs, how to drop a new well if this one ran dry. he liked people. was always good at taking a piece of them with him, in a voice or a gesture or a story. rather poetic then that so many people got to keep something of him.

miss jester lavorre, the sapphire, kosh has written in their notes. not far from fjord, there is a peculiar archway that always seems to be facing kosh no matter where they walk, overrun by tiny blue flowers that smell sugar-sweet, and the path—a short path, only a few feet long—is a shifting, shining mosaic of blue and green, pink and gold. she made it herself. started the day fjord passed. caduceus stares down at the path for a long, long time. breaks out of his quiet only when kosh’s curiousity lures them closer to the arch.

‘i don’t know where that will take you,’ he warns. ‘maybe to the other side.’

‘of...life?’

‘of the arch.’

‘oh.’

‘or death. or the fey. or the centre of a volcano.’ he shrugs. ‘who knows? nott is over here.’

veth brenatto is buried beneath wildflowers. hers is a simple grave, with a maker not unlike many kosh has walked past before. the flowers are simple too, common as weeds. caduceus offers no explanation, simply pats the headstone and moves along.

not far from her grave is another patch of flowers grown over a simple grave. vibrant orange blooms and—catnip? kosh stares in confusion and a faint sense of indignation wells up in their chest as they read the name etched without design or flair into the headstone. caleb widoghast. and, below it, bren aldric ermendrud.

‘he—the archmage of the mederi council—he should have a mausoleum! a place of connection! something that shows the esteem the empire—the world—has for him! this is not fit for the archeart’s chosen!’

‘not fit?’ again, kosh sees the shadows grow, though the sun is shining brightly. the birdsong seems to fade as kosh is aware of the thudding pulse in their ears. ‘the grave is not for you. the grave is for the dead and for those who loved them. what better grave is there for him than to be buried beside the person he loved best? to be a simple man, buried simply, and to grow beautiful flowers? come,’ he says and his hand settles on kosh’s shoulder. it is impossible to disobey and kosh walks from the grave.

if they are worried for a moment that caduceus will send them away, they need not be for only a moment passes and, like the passage of a breeze that dips and turns where it wishes, the cold anger of the firbolg shifts and is gone.

‘yasha is over there,’ he says, and points. near to the wall of the garden, there is a series of trees. at first, kosh cannot determine which of them the gardener is pointing toward, and then they see it. ‘part of her wanted to be buried with her wife, so she was. part of her wanted to be buried with us, so she was.’ he leads the monk up to a tree with dark red wood and dripping with red leaves.

‘a vermaloc tree. i didn’t think they grew—‘ kosh stops themself, flushing.

‘almost anything planted in her garden will grow,’ caduceus tells them, ignoring their embarrassment. ‘some take a little easier. it was worth tending to,’ he says much more quietly, and pats the red bark again.

he turns then, those clouded eyes focusing none-the-less with intent upon the monk. he says nothing.

kosh feels their stomach twist. that restless energy, mostly assuaged by their walk, returns. they bounce up onto their toes, unable to hide it.

a smile breaks across the gardener’s face. ‘i thought so. save the best for last.’

‘they’re all vitally important to our research,’ kosh recites.

caduceus nods. ‘and to you?’

they can feel their ears twitch. ‘she’s a hero. she’s a legend. she’s—all my life, i read about her and then when i joined the archive i tried to find out more but there’s even less in the archives! did she burn all the information about herself? was she just that good at going unnoticed? is it true that she could run so fast you couldn’t see her move, she was just there?’

the smile grows.

caduceus nods his head, toward the next tree. ‘that’s hers.’

it’s a strange tree. like and unlike many kosh has seen before. the bark shifts from smooth to rough in patches and pathways. the colours are dappled in browns, all healthy, and there is a peculiar energy that surrounds it that kosh can’t quite identify other than the urge to climb it, an urge they’re quite familiar with, is almost impossible to ignore.

‘does she have a headstone?’

‘do you think she does?’ caduceus asks.

kosh hesitates. then, they nod. ‘she could’ve gotten rid of every trace of herself but she didn’t. it was like a scavenger hunt to find the information.’

‘then i suppose if she does have one, you would have to look for it.’

it takes some days of talking with caduceus and walking the garden themself before kosh notices the branches of the oak and the vermaloc have twined together, high above. a blue ribbon tied where the two meet.

[mollymauk-teafleak]

whose brow is laid in thorn (chapter six)

Seems I can’t write a penultimate chapter in any widomauk fic were Caleb doesn’t end the chapter passed out

Huge thanks to my wonderful beta readers @minky-for-short and @spiky-lesbian!

I got out to bed to go post this guys, please reblog and leave a comment on Ao3

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Mollymauk realises he might get the love of his life back and lose him in the same day

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There had never been much of the king in the crown prince.

The two of them could not have appeared more different, in the obvious places like race and age, personality and attitude, the decisions they made and the way they talked, moved and dressed. And then there were the myriad subtle differences that only someone with a close vantage point would see, the way their minds worked behind their eyes, the things that drove them, what they wanted and what they were willing to do to get it. The two men could not have been more different.

But right now, facing his anger, Caleb could see Babenon Dosal behind his friend’s red eyes. He saw a king.

He wasn’t surprised Mollymauk had chosen anger, it was the easier emotion to grapple with after reading the letter and realising what Caleb had done. When he’d commanded their friends to leave, his voice quiet and clipped and full of rage about to slip it’s leash, Caleb had been impassive, accepting, simply giving their dismayed, stunned glances a gentle nod of acknowledgement. He simply folded his hands behind his back and faced the fury of a man who had been brought up being told he was the rightful ruler of everything he could see past the horizon.

The letter from Lorenzo was crushed in his grip as he growled, “How dare you. How fucking dare you, Caleb. Are you aware of what you’ve just done?”

“Forging the prince’s signature on the letter I wrote to Lorenzo proposing single combat,” Caleb intoned, expressionlessly, listing his crimes like they were a shopping list he was being sent to market with, “Deliberately circumventing the prince’s wishes. Negotiating with a hostile party without the crown’s leave. Risking everything, our land and our people. High treason, all in all. Execution would be the penalty in any court.”

“And for what?” Molly spat, shaking, his tear streaked cheeks dark purple with anger, “What, Caleb?”

“To keep you safe,” emotion slipped into Caleb’s voice, as much as he tried to keep it at bay, “To save your life.”

He watched Molly choke on that, the letter slipping through his grasp as it slackened. Caleb made a mental note with the part of his brain not consumed by grief to pick it up later. It was all they had of Lorenzo’s oath not to take the city if Caleb should fail.

“I couldn’t watch you die, Mollymauk,” he continued, swallowing hard, “I couldn’t. It wasn’t fair of you to ask that of me. Go with me or go after me but gods, please don’t make me live in a world that doesn’t have you in it.”

“So now I have to watch you die instead?” his voice broke on that word, as if his throat couldn’t bear to say it and smashed it to splintered pieces.

“Well,” Caleb gave a bleak, brittle smile, “You won’t be far behind me if I do.”

“Fuck you,” Molly spat but it was more of a sob now, “Fuck you, Caleb Widogast.”

“He spoke to me,” Caleb sighed, knowing it would be best to get this out of the way too, “He...he entered my mind and spoke to me. Ikithon.” The urge to call him master was easy to shake off when he had his heart aching towards Molly.

“What?” Molly looked up from where he’d gripped his hair in anguish, face slack in horror, “Gods, that's the worst kind of banned magic. He could be executed for using that.”

“I don’t think he plans on being beholden to your father’s judgement for much longer,” Caleb shrugged, “He told me to defect. To betray you and go over to Lorenzo. I don’t know if he actually thought it would work, Lorenzo would have just run me through as soon as he saw me or hanged me for a traitor. Ikithon likely wouldn’t have cared either way.”

“He…” Molly stared at Caleb, “He gave you a direct order. He broke into your mind and told you to do this thing and you just...didn’t?”

“No. I didn’t. I did the exact opposite actually.” Again, a bleak, crooked smile, he couldn’t help it.

Pride edged into Molly’s expression for a moment before anguish flooded his expression again, “But this is just it, isn’t it? Don’t you see, Caleb, this is why I wanted to do this, this is why I’m so fucking mad at you. That vile creature has already hurt you so much, he’s already tortured you and took everything from you and all because of me! I just wanted one godsdamned time where I could help you instead of cause you more hurt, where I could actually save you like I’ve wanted to since I first met you. But every time, every fucking time, I just make it worse and I cause you more pain. How can I ask you to love me after all of this, after he hurt you for doing exactly that, after he took it away from you.”

“No. He didn’t,” Caleb whispered, “He didn’t take that away from me. I thought he had but...no.”

Molly froze and the whole world seemed to hold its breath, this awful, terrible night finally stopped and allowed them a moment.  

“Caleb…” Molly breathed, his anger gone, his face soft and hopeful and so, so scared.

“So ask me again,” tears were thick in his throat but he got the words out clear and true, “Please, Mollymauk. Ask me one more time.”

He didn’t hesitate, “Love me? Love me the way I love you?”

“Yes,” Caleb didn’t lower his voice, he didn’t pull back from it, he didn’t care who heard, “I love you, Mollymauk. Whether we die tomorrow or we live for another hundred years, I will love you for every single second we have.”

He waited. A heartbeat passed. Two. Three.

And his mind stayed silent, clear and completely his own.

They surged together, meeting in the middle, the years and the distance shrinking down to nothing between them as their bodies collided and moulded to each other the way they always had done. Caleb had grown taller, so much so that Molly had to tilt his head up to kiss him, his jaw was rough with stubble that hadn’t been there before, his prince’s hands were rough and calloused when they wound around his shoulders. They were not the teenagers they had been, loving recklessly and wildly, fates throwing them together and saying here, here is the person you were meant for.

They were not the same. Now they were older, they’d both suffered and struggled and been broken many times. Instead they were choosing to love each other, in defiance of everything that said they couldn’t, accepting it along with all of its risks and all of the pain it would cause them.

And it was just as sweet.

Each man meant to pull away at some point but somehow, they kept finding themselves pulled under, a world where their lips weren’t pressed together just seeming completely unacceptable. And when Caleb’s felt Molly’s split tongue stroke against his own, he shivered and leaned into that as well, pressing on deeper and deeper until they both realised in the same moment that soon, there wouldn’t be any turning back.

“Do you…” Molly drew back first, panting raggedly and having to make a few attempts at actually speaking, “Do you want to? I mean...I’d be perfectly content with this, this is bliss but…”

“I want to,” Caleb said firmly, sure of the words as he said them though never doubting that Molly would let him pull back from that ledge if he chose to, “I can’t think of a better way to spend the last night I might have on this plane.”

“Don’t,” Molly breathed, leaning in until their lips were almost touching again, “None of that. This night is everything. And I’m not letting anyone take it away from us this time.”

Finding that more than agreeable, Caleb sank willingly into kissing Mollymauk, though this time there was more purpose to it, it felt like climbing towards some end, swimming towards some shore. After a while, he felt his dear prince’s hands slip from where they held the back of his head, moving to push Caleb’s heavy black overcoat off his shoulders. In between kisses, he let himself be undressed, the uniform of those people he’d never wanted to be and hadn’t ever been able to truly claim him, pulled away by his lover’s hands until he stood there as nothing but himself.

When he stood bare before him, every inch of his scarred body open to the cold night and Mollymauk’s gaze, a mean, cold part of Caleb looked for disappointment in his expression. Of course there was none, just the face a man might wear when he saw home at the end of a long, bitter journey. The cruel teeth of the whip, the scars on his arms where the crystals had been embedded, the pale white bands around his arms where manacles had chafed him, Molly saw every inch of it and did not pity him or look away in shame. He understood him.

Caleb was granted the same privilege to Mollymauk, pulling away his dust stained tunic and leggings, hard worn from the road and so different from what he would choose to wear. What was underneath was less surprising, he’d seen more of Molly’s skin than Molly ever had of his, but knowing it was his to kiss and touch and love made all the difference. He was scarred too, the thin, feathery nicks from his swords and the neat, surgical scars on his chest where his body had been brought in line with his heart. And all of the ink too, in it’s startling colour, the fantastical forests that carpeted one arm, the serpent that wound around the other, the eyes and the glorious peacock that sheltered his heart the way Molly’s own brightness and frippery had kept him safe.

It was familiar but no less beautiful for that.

Caleb could have gazed at him until the sun came up, never laid a finger on his skin and been content, but they didn’t have long.

Molly drew him over to the camp bed he’d been tossing and turning on since they started out, letting Caleb press him back against it with more kisses, ones that spread across his chest and neck and jawline, falling faster and more hurried like rain moving from drizzle to showers. Molly made the sweetest noises, chest rising and falling more rapidly under his lips, prompting him to suck some marks into his soft purple skin. He gave very little thought to his own body, lost on the midst of it all, until Molly’s hand reached down between his legs and brushed his growing erection lightly, making him jump like he’d been given an electric shock.

“Sorry,” Molly giggled breathlessly, grinning like the man he was rather than the prince he’d been playing, “Um...I want you in me.”

“Yes?” Caleb murmured, coming close again. He crouched over Molly, knees bracketing his hips, hands bracing himself against the edge of the cot, quickly getting drunk on the tousled view it gave him of his lover.

Mollymauk nodded, hand still down between Caleb’s thighs, stroking lightly, “It’s what I want. Please.”

“I am ever yours to command,” Caleb grinned crookedly, making sure Molly was laughing when he moved to kiss him again and parted his legs with his own.

Their last time had been fumbling, uncertain, hurried. The two of them had both had a flagon of wine between them and felt invincible, Molly’s birthday party coming to them muffled through the floor beneath them, the strings singing like the desire in their blood.

It wasn’t too different this time, they were still uncertain and groping at each other, Caleb dropping the vial of oil Molly handed him from his pack, Molly jerking so hard when Caleb thumbed his sweet spot that he accidentally kicked him in the stomach, letting need drive their bodies. It was strange how feeling young and invincible invoked the exact same feelings as knowing you had so little time left.

Moving into Mollymauk knocked the breath from Caleb, he had to take a moment and rest his forehead on his lover’s and inhale deeply, steadying and centring before he could move on. But Molly’s hands were on his shoulders, his groans and soft cries filled the space between them, his legs locked around his hips as they rocked in time with the creaking of the bed beneath them. All of it was an anchor, a map, showing him where to go, certainty finally when he’d been lost for so long.

Caleb couldn’t last long, not with ten years of waiting and wanting, he tried to stammer it out to Mollymauk who only reached up and cupped his face with a gentle hand, nodding softly. There wasn’t a wrong way to do this. When he came, it was a white hot flash behind his eyes, every muscle tight and tense and shaking. He heard his name fall from Molly’s lips as he followed close behind, his nails digging into his shoulder.

Afterwards it was the same delicate, tenuous silence that came after a deep sigh, one that seemed to ring out longer than it should. Neither of them wanted to move away, like the perfect moment of happiness they’d found would tear off into nothing if they looked at it too closely. It was impossible to not think of this point the first time they’d made love, here where everything had fallen apart, when they’d believed in what they felt for each other and had been proven so bitterly wrong. When the door had thrown open and the real world had come pouring in.

Eventually, it was Caleb who had the bravery to speak first, surprising even himself.

“I won’t lose, Molly,” he murmured, voice ragged around the edges, “I won’t. Not for you.”

He nodded, tears sparking in the corners of his eyes, “Of course. I know you won’t, Caleb.”

He could see it in his prince’s eyes, he was thinking of the moment when Lorenzo’s arm had slipped that extra inch, the one he hadn’t wanted to allow him. He was thinking of the power that had sizzled off that grey skin, ready to rage up and match his own. But he said nothing and Caleb loved him for that. That and many reasons.

But that would come in the morning.  Here and now, Caleb was happy for the first time in so long and he was going to enjoy every single moment.

Mollymauk was loath to let Caleb sleep but the reality of what was going to happen in the morning was a bitter taste in his mouth growing by the minute. He couldn’t let him face that battlefield without a wink of sleep, no matter how much Caleb had insisted in the past that Volstruker didn’t need it.

But his love wasn’t Volstruker any more. And so Molly would let him sleep a few hours, however much it ached.

He lay there in the quiet, the forest sounds muffled through the canvas of the tent, ignoring the rustling of the leaves and far off calls of the birds so Caleb’s heartbeat under his ear would be the only sound in the world. Strong and sure and constant, like it would go on and on forever. As vital and necessary as the motion of the tides or the thrum of magic through the threads of the universe.

If he thought of it like that, it was easier to believe that today would not be the last day it beat.

Mollymauk found the fear for himself evaporated entirely, what burned in the back of his mind and brought tears to his eyes so easily was only the thought of losing Caleb, the minutes and hours he might have to spend on this planet without him. From this side of the glass, he did hate himself a little for putting Caleb in this position, for doing the same to his friends, for being so quick to sacrifice himself, however right it had seemed at the time.

Pain and fear for your own self was nothing compared to the idea of losing someone you loved.

And he did love Caleb. And Caleb loved him. They’d said it so many times during the night, like they were trying to make up for a decade of separation, trying to fill the holes left by so many times they’d wanted to say it but couldn’t. And each time, it grew no less sweet to hear those words, to love and be loved by the man he’d wanted his whole life.

Molly turned and pressed a soft kiss to his lover’s skin, just over his heartbeat, gentle enough that it wouldn’t wake him. All the years he’d feigned confidence, now he actually felt it in all it’s iron hard certainty as he told any gods that might be listening you will not take him from me. Not now.

It was rather kingly of him, actually, to think he could command the gods.

But it gave Molly what he needed to rise from their little bed and face the greying light in the tent, the dawn approaching faster than he wanted it to. He moved around in the milky darkness, fumbling without any servant or attendant to guide him, opening chests and pulling out clothes, rescuing his boots from a far corner of the tent. Molly knew he had to dress while he still had the strength, not knowing what the fear and grief would do moment to moment.

He chose no chainmail, no padded gambeson. He wouldn’t need to armour himself today and he had no desire to play any role. He would face this day as himself, dressed in simple leggings and a purple surcoat he favoured, rich with embroidery.

“Would you like me to sneak out now? Or are we going to face the smug grins of our friends?”

Molly jumped just as he was doing the last button, turning and seeing Caleb stretched out contentedly under the thin blanket they’d pulled over themselves when they’d both been too exhausted to continue. He was smiling, resting up on one elbow, looking so wonderfully tousled and ruffled, hair in disarray and mouth shaped bruises blooming on his shoulders, that Molly would have given anything for just another half hour alone with him.

“You’re going nowhere,” he whispered back, closing the distance between them and going to his knees so he could kiss those lips and feel all the nicks and swells in them from everything they’d done together.

“How long do we have?” Caleb eventually murmured, when they paused for air.

“An hour, I’d say,” Molly sighed and suddenly, saying it out loud and realising what a small amount of time that was, such a cruel and meagre slice to be given, his throat closed up and tears flooded his eyes.

Caleb groaned softly and kissed his forehead, bringing one hand to stroke back his purple curls and wind through the hairs at the nape of his neck, fixing in them and saying firmly, “It will be alright, Mollymauk. I promise.”

“That’s not something you can promise,” he gasped, breath coming in a shudder, wanting to be brave for him, wanting to believe for him, but unable.

“No,” Caleb admitted, his other hand moving to gently wipe away the tears that had spilled down Molly’s cheek, “But I have been trained for this. And for the first time, I actually believe in my own strength.”

“Yes?” Molly whispered, wanting to cling to every scrap of hope, not caring how much it hurt.

“Yes,” Caleb smiled crookedly and, for as much as he hated the gathering light, Mollymauk was glad he could see it, “Because this time I have something to fight for.”

No one had called for any trumpet blast or signal to raise the camp but he found most of the company were already up and moving, apparently having as much appetite for sleep as Molly had. Fires were going, heating up rations no one felt like eating and the usual coarse conversation of soldiers on campaign, the teasing and calling out to each other across the tents, had found no purchase that morning. Even though they weren’t facing battle today, even with just two lives hanging in the balance, everyone seemed to be grieving already.

Until Molly and Caleb spilled out of the command tent, hand in hand, an unmistakable rumpled quality to Caleb’s uniform and the obvious bruises from fingers and teeth peering out from under shirt cuffs and collars, blundering right into the circle of their friends around the cookfire.

There was a moment of silence as four sets of eyes regarded them without much surprise.

“Well,” Beau shrugged, “Better late that fucking never, I guess.”

And with that the lot of them were laughing helplessly, the wild, reckless laughter of teenagers with a slightly manic edge to it, drawing confused and alarmed eyes from all around the camp. It made little sense but Molly did feel like he could breathe a little easier once it had passed.

He pressed food on Caleb who tried to refuse it but quickly realised his lover wasn’t going to be put off and gave in. Molly watched him closely, sitting on the ground right beside him and never letting their fingers untangle, but there was no fear or worry in his face. He seemed to be his usual self, almost the Caleb he remembered from his childhood and teenage years, dryly funny and contentedly quiet.

Mollymauk couldn’t tell if it was just Caleb was that confident or he was enjoying himself while he could.

The moment couldn’t be put off forever. Again, Molly had to appear strong and sure, for his friends and for his soldiers, swinging up confidently onto his horse to lead them back to yesterday’s clearing as if nothing was wrong. It felt less like lying, as he saw the younger ones in the company visibly relax after he joked with them and chatted amicably with them, making his usual rides up and down the column until they arrived. It felt more like just being a leader.

Like protecting the people who looked to him for guidance and would call him king.

It wasn’t a long ride and they heard the commotion before they got there, the sound of raised voices and clamour of the enormous Jagenoth army, already there and raising enough of a racket to make the ground shake under the hooves of Molly’s horse as he rode back to the head of the column, just in time to see them unfurl out over the rise of the hill. Just like yesterday, they boiled down below them like a mass of black insects, the sharp teeth of their weapons edged in fire as the sun broke the horizon just to the side of them and flooded the bowl of the valley with gold.

The lone figure standing ahead of them, the hulking mass armoured all in black iron but for the horns that thrust up from it’s brow, a glaive taller than Mollymauk plunged into the ground beside him, must have looked up at just the right moment. It raised a fist high as if in salute and, behind it, the soldiers fell silent in a moment and snapped to attention with a reverberating clash of metal.

Molly’s fingers grew tight around his reins but, beside him, Caleb simply smiled.

“Real strength doesn’t need to announce itself,” he intoned, clearly quoting something before chucking, “A lot of what they taught me at the academy was bullshit but that certainly rings true at least. He couldn’t look more like he’s trying to compensate for something. Rather funny, actually.”

“If you say so,” Molly muttered, unable to take his eyes from the blade.

He saw very little to find amusing.

“Good morning,” Lorenzo hailed them cheerily, his voice deeper and rougher in his true form and through the enormous helm obscuring his face.

Molly gave him no reply but a cold, hard stare, walking his entire troupe up this time, this would require as many witnesses as possible to ensure Lorenzo kept faith and, more than that, he wanted Caleb to see just how many people were behind him.

Already a ground had been cleared for combat, ringed in stones by some of the Jagenoths. Clearly wanting to be prepared, a headsman’s block had also been erected on their side of the ground, freshly cut from some felled tree, green wood ready to drink Molly’s life blood in front of his own people. Beau spat on it as they reared up, her eyes glaring acid across the field at Lorenzo.

“Dressed to die,” Lorenzo said, satisfied, obsidian eyes glinting out at Molly from within his helm, “Mighty considerate of you, boy.”

“I could say the same of you,” Molly answered, dropping any hint of courtly manners, “I can see the joint gaps in that armour from here.”

“Don’t matter when you’ve got a reach like this,” he snarled, gripping the handle of his enormous blade and yanking it from the earth, leaving a deep gash in the ground, “Shall we begin? It’s a long road back to Shady Creek Run and your pretty head won’t keep forever. Let me put this mouthy little pup down and do what I came here to do.”

Caleb simply nodded, moving his coat to the side to draw his blade. The same nicked, worn blade he’d been fighting with all his life. That, his magic and the poniards in his boots against all of the strength and brutality on display before them.

Perhaps irritated by Caleb’s refusal to rise to his taunts, Lorenzo continued hollering across the circle, “I was expecting you last night, pup, by what your master told me. I was looking forward to snicking the smile off your face when you slunk up looking for a place in my army. Just that, mind. The rest of you I’d leave to your black booted brothers and sisters.”

Caleb didn’t so much as glance at him, accepting his fingerless leather gloves from Beau and calmly slipping them on as if he had all the time in the world. Molly remembered the day Caleb had finally admitted at fifteen years old that Beau was right and wearing them did make his grip better. He even took the time to clasp his friend’s shoulder and smile reassuringly, then moving to give Fjord the same then Caduceus then Yasha, every one of them embracing him tightly.

“Clearly you were otherwise occupied!” Lorenzo called, though the anger was bubbling more clearly under his voice now, his composure slipping, “I’d heard you were acting the whore for the boy prince over there. I knew they trained you well at the Soltryce but not in those particular arts. Ever dutiful when commanded, eh?”

Molly was a muscle jump in Caleb’s jaw at that but he smoothed it out within a second. Now they were nose to nose and everything fell away that wasn’t Caleb’s face, his steady hands, his gentle, comforting smile. He had the privilege of tying back his rust red hair in a leather band, making sure every strand was clear of his face.

Once it was done, Caleb turned and sank down on one knee, holding his blade up. Trapped by convention and appearances, Molly was left to press a kiss to the cold metal rather than his lover’s lips, trying to say everything he felt with his eyes.

“Please come back to me,” he whispered when their faces were at their closest, “Or wait for me at hell’s gate.”

Caleb smiled up at him, eyes like still pools, “As you command.”

Seeing the two of them at opposite ends of the killing field, it was like a bad joke. Lorenzo, in his full, unrestrained oni form, wrapped in thick iron and the barbed chains of his profession as torturer and slaver, hulking so large the shadow he cast stretched off him like a giant beast, climbing up the hills around them to impossible heights. And Caleb, wearing no armour but the leather bands on his arms, thin sword in his hand, face perfectly still. Half Lorenzo’s height, a quarter of his weight, a bare fraction of his reach, dwarfed by his strength. It was like watching a child face down a dragon in some fairytale.

And Molly had learned long ago that life was no storybook. If it was, Caleb would never have been taken from him, they would have lived happily ever after. And he wouldn’t be about to watch him die.

It was his task to begin the fight, they were waiting for his command. He swallowed hard and opened his mouth, the urge to desperately beg for Caleb to come back, to stop all of this, to take it all back, was overwhelming but he managed to rasp out the right words instead, the words that would end his lover’s life.

“At arms...and begin.”

Lorenzo lurched forward with a roar, all the momentum of a charging bull barrelling towards Caleb and hefting the glaive forward.

And Caleb did not move.

Everything seemed to slow, seconds dripped by like a dying rainstorm, the scream to move, bloody move caught in Molly’s throat as the blade completed its easy, unstoppable arc through the air…

And whistled through nothing.

Lorenzo had to stagger to stop himself, overtopping with the speed he’d built up and falling to one knee. Caleb, the real Caleb, not the shadow of himself he’d left standing in his enemy’s path, lanced a quick but deep cut along the back of Lorenzo’s neck, through the joint where his helmet met the shoulder plates. It might have been enough, it should have been enough, but some dark magic reared up from the armour itself, some misshapen haze in the air that lashed out at Caleb and forced him to dance back so it only just caught him lightly across the chest and left a burn mark on the front of his coat. The smell of singed leather and shield spells filled the dawn air.

“You think you’re the only one with magic, pup?” Lorenzo snarled, furious, “Try this then.”

An ozone smell popped and crackled and where Lorenzo had stood one instant, the next was nothing but thin air. Molly moaned softly in despair as he saw Caleb’s brow crease in a frown. With a flick of his wrist, the blade of the sword he carried alighted with dark flame and he held it out warily, staying on the balls of his feet as he waited for a strike he couldn’t see coming.

There were a few agonising moments of silence, tension building like a budding blister, until it was finally broken when a guttural laugh echoed out from nowhere and everywhere all at once and some force knocked Caleb backwards, sweeping his feet out from under him. Mercifully he managed to keep hold of his blade and had something to throw up to meet the invisible thing that clashed against his sword. Almost immediately, Caleb was sweating, trembling with the effort of keeping back what could only be the wicked edge of the glaive, now slightly, eerily, visible as fire leapt from the sword to flicker across it. How his thin arms were matching Lorezo’s whole weight, Molly couldn’t say, until he saw the veins on Caleb’s only just visible wrist and neck turning black with magic.

Volstrucker magic.

A fresh fear bit into Molly’s already battered chest. How much of his old training could Caleb rely on without slipping back into the darkness that had claimed so much of his mind?

The tension snapped when Caleb’s flame finally edged down the handle of the invisible glaive enough to highlight the shape of the fingers that held it. Even lobstered gauntlets would greedily drink the heat of any fire and after a few seconds of contact, Lorenzo wrenched away with a roar of pain and anger, the invisibility spell flickering out. Caleb didn’t waste a second of his freedom, leaping to his feet and driving a hard flurry of attacks at any fissure in the armour, the ones he’d been carefully mapping out and memorising since he laid eyes on Lorenzo.

But he could only attack as long as the glaive was down, once it was wrenched back up, it’s reach and thickness covered Lorenzo too well. Then all Caleb could do was put as much distance between him and his opponent as possible, his speed the only weapon he had that could possibly contest Lorenzo’s. He led him in a chase around the ring, dodging his swings and ducking the clumsy grabs he made, clearly hoping to see him tire.

But Lorenzo only seemed to grow more furious. He lunged with more anger, he pelted Caleb with taunts and curses when he couldn’t reach him with his blade, foam began to build in the slats of his helm. He began using spells, forcing Caleb to counter with magic of his own, summoning beams of light to cut through spheres of darkness that shrouded him, blasting fire from his palms to meet a cone of icy blizzard that lanced at him.

There was a terrifying moment when the pungent lavender smell of a sleep spell wrapped around Caleb and his eyelids began to droop, costing him the speed he relied on, bringing him to his knees and finally holding him in one place. Lorenzo rushed to press the advantage, swinging his blade with sickening abandon. It was only at the very last moment that Caleb managed to throw off the compulsion, eyes snapping wide and a powerful burst of fire throwing Lorenzo off of him, sending him flying back a good few feet.

A cheer of relief went up from Molly’s troupe, one he tried to echo but all he could see was the blood washing down Caleb’s arm from his shoulder where the edge of the blade had managed to make a savage cut and leave it hanging limp, the stark blackness of his veins against his chalky skin, the way his chest was heaving and the edges of his hair were smoking softly.

“His spells,” he moaned faintly, stomach churning, “If he can’t use his arms, he can’t summon his spells.”

Beside him, Yasha put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently. Molly knew it was half to comfort him and half to hold him back.

Now that both men had drawn blood, the battle turned savage, both actively trying to take the life of the other. Cuts came harder and heavier, the magic burned with a ferocity that scorched the faces of those around the outside. Time seemed to lose all meaning, marked only by the wounds both fighters gained in quicker and quicker succession. Every time Caleb was struck, Molly felt it ache on his own flesh.

By the time the sun had reached a fair height in the sky, blood was oozing steadily from every gap Lorenzo had in his armour. The vast plates of his chest rose and fell with more force and his rough breathing could be heard echoing inside the helm. He was finally beginning to tire.

But it came far too late for Caleb. He was wounded in far more places, gashes on his arms, bruises covering his skin from where he’d been thrown or charged, the entire bottom half of his coat burned away in one of his own fire spells, frost burns on one side of his face. And his arm, that very first cut, hanging limp and useless, not enough energy in it to even rise. Even as he stood there, he visibly swayed, his eyes dulled with pain.

Lorenzo gave a deep, satisfied laugh, “You look ready to end this, my boy. Learned a harsh lesson, eh, about how well a wretch like you can stand against someone like me.”

Caleb growled something indistinct, something that came out as a choking rasp and came up with a spatter of blood from his mouth. He grit his teeth, sword still crackling with fire in his hand and struck out at Lorenzo with what had to be the last of his strength. Without so much as breaking a sweat, the enormous oni reached out and simply caught the wizard’s hand, holding it in a grip like iron and wrenching him up off the ground by it.

Caleb cried out in pain and Molly screamed but it only made Lorenzo’s grin wider. Moving as easily as if he were swatting a fly, he seized Caleb’s waist in his other gigantic hand and pulled. The snap of Caleb’s arm breaking echoed through the valley.

Cackling as if it was the funniest thing he’d seen in some time, Lorenzo simply let him drop to the ground, bloodied and beaten and now with two useless arms, one sliced and one broken. He lay limply in the dirt, chest barely moving, blood and tears and soil streaked on his face.

“A pretty trick, that,” Lorenzo was now admiring the flaming sword with vague amusement, “Might have turned the tide, if you had any clue how to use it.”

He broke the blade over one ironclad knee with ease, letting the two pieces gutter out before dropping them to the grass beside their equally burned out owner.

“No!” Molly was still screaming, now he’d started and shattered his composure he couldn’t stop, writhing in Yasha’s grip as he fought to reach Caleb, “No, no, please don’t!”

Lorenzo spared him a smug, satisfied grin, “Oh your turn will come, boy. But don’t think you’ll die easy as your little pup did.”

On the glass by his feet, Caleb struggled to rise. His eyes looked out at Molly through his matted hair, come loose from the tie he’d so carefully and lovingly put there for him. His lips were moving but it was impossible to tell what he was saying.

“You can have me, you can have anything, just please, please don’t hurt him!” Molly sobbed wildly.

“Ah now,” Lorenzo tilted his head in mockingly gentle admonishment, “That wasn’t our deal, was it, boy? Old Lorenzo’s good as his words these days. But don’t worry now, I’ll make sure you get a real good view…”

He reached down and plucked Caleb up by the scruff of his coat, dangling him there like a helpless kitten before setting him down on his knees, facing Mollymauk. In the other hand, the glaive swung up to press it’s cruel point to Caleb’s back, ready to be driven forwards, knowing exactly where to place it so when he pushed, it would pierce right through his heart.

“Oh I’ve been waiting for this,” he crooned, flexing the muscles of his arm ready to put all of his weight behind it.

“Caleb!” Molly screamed, tears burning his eyes and making the battlefield swim before him.

“All that training,” Lorenzo laughed, “All that magic and you still couldn’t best me, Volstruker!”

Molly’s eyes burned but he still caught it. The brief movement, the flexing of an arm that was cut, yes, but not as badly as Caleb had pretended. He saw it slip down, turned away from Lorenzo so he would be none the wiser, moving quick and clean with precise motions to take the dagger out of his boot.

Molly looked into Caleb’s eyes and saw them clear and bright.

Lorenzo’s surprise was so complete that the glaive’s blade turned easily, Caleb needed only to bat it to the side. With all of the strength left in his body, he sprang and neatly drove the dagger’s point right through the eye slot of the slaver’s helm. Eye, blood and brain parted almost politely for it.

There was a beat of silence as the Jagenoth’s about to erupt in cheers, as Molly’s forces gripped by horror tried to understand what they’d just seen. As Lorenzo himself stood frozen in shock at his own death until his body’s knees folded in on themselves and he slumped, lifeless, with a rather anticlimactic thud.

And in the middle of it all, as blood ran down his wrist, Caleb grinned.

“I am not Volstruker.”

Everything was swimming and the ground wouldn’t stay still underneath him. Something was roaring around him though perhaps it was the wind.

Every other part of his mind blurred and smudged, Caleb stared at the sky and distractedly calculated how long a person could survive losing blood at the rate it was pulsing out of his shoulder, taking into account the weakness from magical usage, the adrenaline, his height and weight, adding it all up with a blissful kind of detachment and realising the price was growing too high to pay.

I did it, he thought, without really understanding who or what he was talking about, he’s safe.

Knowing that, letting go right now wouldn’t be so bad.

The world suddenly found one direction to go in and it was downwards, his knees buckling and eyes rolling back in his head, darkness swallowing him whole.

Though Caleb could have sworn, before he ceased to think anything at all, that at the very last moment, someone caught him.

[fairmoephelia]

Can I Try Again, Try Again?

here’s my fic for the first day of beauyasha week!! the prompt was first kiss and i decided to write a 5 + 1 fic of the 5 times beau and yasha almost kissed and the 1 time they actually did

fic below the cut!

I.

 The Mighty Nein had been together as a semi-cohesive group for a few weeks by the time Yasha returned from whatever mystery calling had caused her disappearance. Mollymauk had assured them it was nothing to worry about but otherwise didn’t provide much information, dodging the few questions about where she might have gone and what she might be doing.

Despite her return, Yasha had mostly kept to herself, wandering off to pick flowers, or was glued to Molly’s side, hiding herself in the shadow of the tiefling’s dramatic antics until it came time for battle. This made it frustratingly difficult for Beau to get a good conversation out of her.

She wanted to get to know her, Yasha was interesting and mysterious, not to mention extremely hot and Beau was never one to shy away from her curiosity into any of those things.

The group had decided to stop for the day, camping along the side of the road. They were close to the next town they planned to stop at, but not close enough to justify continuing their journey through the night. Jester and Fjord were sat on the back of the cart, Molly on the ground in front of them shuffling his cards and laughing as Jester poked at some of the scars Fjord had gained from their recent battles although his injuries, as well as Beau’s, were becoming less frequent now that Yasha had returned. She soaked up most of the damage that had previously been aimed at the two of them. Nott and Caleb had receded into themselves, hiding away with only each other and Frumpkin for company, it didn’t seem to bother them so Beau figured it was no big deal though she still didn’t exactly trust them.

Their current behavior was common and neither of them had spoken more than a few sentences to Beau, though she supposed her own abrasive nature was also partially to blame for that. Whatever. 

From her position a few feet away from the others, leaning against the side of the cart, Beau switched her attention to Yasha. She was sitting with her back against a large tree, running her fingers along the pages of her book she kept to press flowers. Beau was surprised she hadn’t gotten a paper cut. She probably had callouses. Great, that just made her even more attractive. Beau fought to hype herself up mentally. She could do this, she fought vicious gnolls two days ago, she could start a conversation with this gorgeous woman. “Hey, Yasha,” she started, approaching the other woman.

Then, Yasha peered up at her with those two-toned eyes and whatever confidence Beau had managed to scrounge up immediately dissipated. “Uh,” she said eloquently, “do you wanna spar or something? It’s been awhile since I’ve had some good practice and you’re really strong. I mean, you said so yourself,”

“Alright,” Yasha said simply, as if Beau hadn’t just tripped all over herself trying to ask her to do something as innocuous as spar.

“Cool, cool,” said Beau, trying to give off an aura of nonchalance, “let’s find somewhere more open.”

It didn’t take them long to find a clearing in the woods, only a minute or two away from the cart and the camp. Beau began to stretch, watching Yasha do the same but trying not to let her eyes linger too long. Even though, damn.

“We’re doing this, um, hand to hand, I assume?” Said Yasha.

“If that’s alright with you?” Beau hadn’t brought her staff and Yasha’s greatsword was back at the camp as well.

“Sure,” Yasha rolled her shoulders, “do you have any tips for me? This does seem to be your comfort zone.”

Beau settled across from Yasha, weight having shifted to the balls of her feet, and gave a playful smirk. “I don’t know,” she said mischievously, “I think I need to see what you’ve got before I can give any advice.” She cocked an eyebrow, making it clear the match had begun but waiting for Yasha to make the first move. Not in whatever way that could be taken as courteous during a sparring match, but in the way she normally did with heavy hitters. Evasion was one of her best moves and whatever attacks she landed on Yasha undoubtedly wouldn’t do as much damage as they did to most enemies they faced.

Yasha took the hint, immediately rushing forward, forcing Beau backwards. Movement limited, Beau ducked under her arms, Yasha’s first strike glancing off her shoulder instead of hitting her in the chest like the other woman had intended. Beau rotated, turning at the same time as Yasha, who struck out again, this time meeting her mark on Beau’s lower chest. It was enough for her to give a slight grunt, puffing the air that had been forced out of her chest.

She threw several punches in quick succession, striking Yasha’s torso. Yasha waited for a break in her onslaught, not terribly affected just as Beau predicted, throwing another punch that Beau’s forearm came up just in time to block. And okay, that one would definitely bruise, Yasha hit hard, even when she wasn’t actually trying to hurt Beau.

Backing up ever so slightly, Beau aimed another punch but this time Yasha was able to grab her fist, stopping the hit in its tracks. Beau twisted, using the momentum to swing a kick into the other woman’s side, hearing her breath catch slightly.

Yasha switched her grip from Beau’s fist to the leg now resting just above her hip and pushed.

Beau hit the grass under her with a thud as she lost her balance, an aching pulse spreading through her back. She didn’t have time to focus on that though as Yasha was quickly on top of her.

Cool, cool, she totally wasn’t blushing.

She rolled to avoid another punch from Yasha, taking the next moment Yasha pulled her arm back to wriggle out from underneath her, somehow managing to desperately reverse their positions. Now straddling Yasha, she sat breathlessly as she peered down at the other woman. Her hair was splayed out around her like a halo, the pale ends reflecting the day’s last bits of light.

Yasha didn’t move, apparently deciding it was a good time to end the match despite having more than enough strength to throw Beau off if she wanted. Beau couldn’t decide if she was disappointed by that or not. Yasha reached up a hand from her position underneath Beau, placing it on Beau’s waist. Beau felt a warm breath of magic spread from where Yasha touched her to the rest of her body, the ache fading from bruises before they could even form.

“Thanks,” she said. She bit her lip between her teeth and half-cocked her head, asking permission. Yasha looked away from her with a laugh before looking back, smiling softly. Beau didn’t wait any longer, leaning down to press her lips to Yasha’s—

“Beau! Yasha!” Jester’s voice rang from the trees just before the clearing.

Beau scrambled, removing herself from the other woman’s lap and getting to her feet. She held out a hand to help Yasha up, which she took despite definitely not needing it. Beau knew she’d barely caused Yasha any discomfort.

They shared one last look that Yasha broke with flushed cheeks before following Jester’s rambling voice back to the camp.

II.

A slight wind moved through the street where Yasha and Beau found themselves standing guard. Nott was attempting to break into the home of a city official a few blocks away. Caleb and Jester were with her, armed with spells if she needed assistance, while Molly and Fjord had taken the other street leading up to the estate.

Before the group had separated, Molly had nudged Yasha and warned against her and Beau getting too “distracted” while trying to keep watch, his smirk making his meaning quite clear. In response, Beau had rather elegantly flipped him off and Yasha flushed, muttering placations towards the two.

The air nipped slightly at Yasha’s exposed arms but she could only assume it was worse for Beau, who didn’t even have the protection of the fur that Yasha wore. She considered offering her shawl to the other woman but was hesitant to break the silence surrounding them and protecting them from any awkward conversation. Neither of them were Jester, who slipped easily into any social situation. Their conversations often ended in one of them excusing themselves or being interrupted in an awkward position by one of their party members. That, Yasha wouldn’t let herself think about any longer.

None of this was to say Yasha didn’t enjoy spending time with Beau. In fact, she quite liked it but starting a conversation had its challenges.

As if somehow reading Yasha’s mind, Beau suddenly spoke up, “Sorry if what Molly said made you uncomfortable.”

“Oh, um, it’s fine, Molly doesn’t make me uncomfortable. He likes to think he’s funny. He didn’t make you uncomfortable, did he?” She knew Molly and Beau had named themselves unofficial rivals since the group formed, but Yasha doubted he actually wanted to upset the monk and would keep away from certain topics of teasing if Yasha asked him to.

“Nah, I don’t care what he says. It’s weird you two are so close,”

“How so?”

“You’re just so you, and he’s just so…Molly.” Yasha furrowed her brow and Beau continued, “Not that I’m insulting your friendship, you guys are clearly close— shit.”

Yasha felt a little bad laughing at Beau’s frustration but it did seem to ease it slightly, “ I understand, we are quite…different,”

Beau nodded and they fell back into another silence, more comfortable this time, though Yasha realized they had carefully skirted the subject of what Molly had actually said and why it would make them uncomfortable. That was fine with her, thoughts and memories of Zuala already haunted her during the time she spent with Beau and that was hardly something she needed to discuss with Beau herself. She wondered why Beau thought Molly’s comment would make her uncomfortable? Perhaps she simply thought Yasha wasn’t interested in her. She tried to remind herself that was for the best, though the ache in her chest seemed to argue otherwise. She pushed those down forcibly, opting instead to scan the street of houses, only slightly less grandiose than the one Nott was currently breaking into. Her ears perked up as she heard the falling of heavy boots approaching them, a crownsguard.

She grabbed Beau’s wrist and pulled her with her as she ducked into the nearest alleyway. The momentum of the decision had placed Beau practically on top of her but she didn’t dare move as the guard’s steps grew closer.

Beau looked startled but seemed to have also grasped the situation as she didn’t move or question Yasha. They both held their breaths as the guard passed by, waiting a few extra moments to be safe before calming. “Sorry about that,” Yasha said.

“We’re doing a lot of apologizing tonight, huh?” She was still close, close enough that Yasha could feel her breath as she spoke, hot in comparison to the night air. “I don’t mind it,”

“Really,” said Yasha, more statement than question. She placed her hand along Beau’s jawline, drawing her in with surprisingly delicate fingers for someone so often focused on brute strength.

Beau went easily with the suggestion, letting Yasha pull her closer before suddenly jolting away from her. “Shit, they need our help.”

It took Yasha a moment to even remember the mission at hand, Nott and the others inside the building. Jester must have sent a message requesting backup.

“We can— later?” Asked Beau.

Yasha didn’t answer, already having taken off in the direction of the others. So much for letting Beau believe she wasn’t interested in her.

III.

It was late, or rather early, during Beau’s watch. She almost always chose the last watch when she got the chance. Despite her complaining when woken up by the others, she was an early-riser. It was a habit drilled into her by the strict regimen of the Cobalt Soul, though that was also where her offense to being suddenly woken up had come from.

The sun was beginning to rise over the edge of the horizon, painting the sky a watercolor mix of blue and purple. It reminded her of one of Yasha’s eyes, the ethereal violet that made her distinctly unique-looking. Ever since they met, Beau had found herself fixated on Yasha’s eyes, seeking them out almost as often as her muscles.

She peaked over at Yasha, the other woman having taken watch with her for the night. She was watching the sunrise as well, pale, calloused hands carding through the grass at her side.

“It’s like your eyes,” Beau said, biting her tongue in surprise at the comment slipping through her traitorous lips.

Beautiful green-blue and violet were on full display as Yasha’s eyes widened, “The sunrise?” She asked.

“Yeah, it’s like—“ Beau paused, feeling embarrassment heat up in her cheeks. “The purple, it reminds me of the sunrise. It’s nice, I like your eyes.”

Yasha’s gaze dropped to the ground, as though she suddenly found the grass her fingers were knotted in very interesting. “I remember,” she said, “you called them, two bio— what was it?”

“Two diverse biomes, don’t remind me.” She groaned, “It was not my proudest moment,”

Yasha laughed, it was a quiet, low sound that Beau had to strain a little to hear. Yasha didn’t laugh often, but when she did Beau always found herself fascinated by such a delicate sound coming from someone as fierce as her. That was the duality of her, like her eyes, the violence she produced on the battlefield gave way to moments of reprieve, flower picking and quiet laughter. “I thought it was sweet,” she said sincerely.

“Sweet?” Now it was Beau’s turn to laugh. Sweet was not something ever used to describe her outside of the context of scathing sarcasm.

Yasha’s eyes met her own and she felt like the wind had been knocked out of her, “Yeah,” she said, “sweet.”

Beau’s gaze trailed from Yasha’s eyes down to her lips, the navy tattoo standing out against her pale skin. She thought about how easy it would be to surge forward and kiss Yasha, hold her jaw in her hands and move her lips against her own.

“We should wake up the others,” Yasha said, in the span of their conversation the sun had reached about midway into the sky, the group had a long day of travel ahead of them. She wondered if Yasha had noticed her staring.

“Yeah, probably,”

IV.

Yasha prayed to the Stormlord, to Ioun, to any god she could offer herself up to that would put a stop to this. Her body ascended the stairs towards Beau, her heavy, controlled steps echoing along the stone. She could see Beau fighting the Laughing Hand, fist sinking into the now-softened flesh, the Hand giving a pained chuckle. Yasha had never heard it do anything else.

Not her, not her, please not her.

Her begging of her body to disobey Obann’s orders, absent since the attack on the Cobalt Soul that crushed her hope of rescue or forgiveness, renewed itself with the force of a fire that had never really gone out. She was ashamed to think that she had almost welcomed the empty embrace of resignation. Beau turned as she approached, her expression near-unreadable but Yasha could see the pain in her eyes, “Long time no see,”

Yasha’s arms ached as they raised the Skingorger and slashed across Beau’s torso before the monk had the time to react, a spray of blood hitting the ground beside her like raindrops as she fell. She was fully at Yasha’s mercy.

Someone help her.

The Skingorger raised once more before slamming down with full force, sinking into Beau’s chest with the wet slice of flesh. Yasha felt as if she had stabbed her own heart. She imagined the gore pouring out of her chest instead of Beauregard’s, she would have prefered that. The sword didn’t stop there, it pushed deeper, another layer of muscle giving under the attack.

Stop, stop, stop!

Images flashed unbidden behind Yasha’s eyes, past mixing with present in bloody reds and violent purples. Beau, gasping in agony under Yasha’s sword, blood gurgling in her throat. Zuala, body behind as she ran like a coward.

Her fault.

Her arms yanked the sword from Beau’s stomach, the monk’s mouth forming a silent scream, gagging on blood as it painted her front.

Yasha turned away from the painful scene, Beau-Zuala-Beau’s broken body behind her as her attention switched to Fjord. The Skingorger raised to attack at the same time Fjord’s hand raised, an inky tendril shooting out to wrap itself around Yasha’s waist. “Tell me you can hear me,” he said, a mix between desperate and coldly resigned.

She wished she could.

The tendril bit into her with crushing pressure, her own blood used to feed Fjord’s life force. She wondered if he could see the relief through her tear-filled eyes. The tendril retreated, but she could feel the darkness still running through her, cold as Fjord’s glare as it sucked through her veins. The fight continued for Yasha in a blur of blood and pain and guilt, until—

She didn’t even see Caduceus cast the spell, only felt the seal on her neck burning in holy light until it was almost unbearable. Finally, it shattered with relief she hadn’t thought possible. She fell to her knees and screamed as thunder roared, the Stormlord’s cry of fury mixing with her own primal scream. Lightning struck through the stained-glass windows, pieces of red, orange, and yellow shattering across the cathedral floor, the Mighty Nein flinching to avoid it. The sudden brightness of the strike burned the image of the room into her mind, Caduceus next to her, Beau on the ground feet away from her, still down but thankfully stable.

At Pumat’s urging, the group fled, Caleb and Caduceus barricading the door behind them with a mix of furniture and spellwork. Sheepishly, Yasha approached Beau and placed her hand against her stomach, fingers feeling cold as magical warmth left them to staunch the blood flow from the still considerable wound. They were close, probably too close considering what Yasha has just done. An irrational, impulsive part of Yasha’s mind that rarely saw the light of day except during battle wanted to close the distance between them and kiss Beau. She didn’t want to lose the chance again. Not the way she nearly had, but it wasn’t the right time or place. She had no way of knowing Beau liked her that way anymore, if she would even forgive her for what she’d done. Yasha couldn’t blame her if she didn’t.

“It’s good to have you back, actually back,” Beau’s hand moved momentarily from her stomach, twitching like she wanted to reach out but stopped herself.

Yasha pulled away from her, “I’m very sorry,” she said sincerely, her voice muffled with tears finally allowed to shed of their own volition. “I did not know what I was doing.”

“We know,” said Beau. Yasha was comforted by her steadiness, how sure she sounded.

“Please forgive me. I don’t know how I can make you trust me again, I don’t even trust myself.” That was the truth, how could she know she wouldn’t be forced to harm them again? How could she be there to protect them when the real danger was her?

Beau gave her a sad, but closed-off look and Jester wrapped her arms around her waist. Something between an ugly laugh and a sob bubbled at the back of her throat, but she held it down. She was finally back with her tribe, she could figure out the rest later.

V.

The group was huddled in the living area of the Xhorhaus, Caduceus serving late-night tea to Jester and Nott (who didn’t accept the it in favor of her flask), curled together on one of the couches with Beau below them, laying back against Jester’s legs. She followed Nott’s lead, taking a sip from her own drink. Plenty of alcohol had been passed out to the rest of the group as well, only Jester and Caduceus abstaining as usual. Yasha’s fingers curled around the neck of her bottle. They were gathered at Jester’s insistence, the tiefling saying they were going to have a game night.

“So, Jessie? What kind of games are you thinking?” Asked Fjord, he was sitting on the floor, next to Yasha but not too close. She knew he still didn’t trust her, saw the suspicious looks he cast when he thought she wasn’t looking or even when he knew she was. She couldn’t blame him though, not after what she had nearly done to him.

“Well,” Jester began excitedly, putting her tea to the side to hug a throw pillow against her chest, “ I was thinking we could play truth or dare. But, I’m going to cast Zone of Truth on everyone so we can’t lie!”

Yasha took a swig of her drink, savoring the slight burn as it went down her throat to distract her from the suggestion. She didn’t like being influenced by magic, never had before and certainly didn’t now. She would never distrust Jester, but she couldn’t help the way the idea sat with her, like an uncomfortable pit in her stomach.

“Jester, are you sure that is necessary?” Asked Caleb, practical as always. Yasha wondered if his concerns were close to her own, as the only other member of the group who had been forced to attack their friends before the fight with Obann.

“It’s not necessary,” Jester pouted, mimicking Caleb’s accent on the third word, “but it makes it more fun!”

“Yeah, it’ll be fun. Come on,” said Beau, clearly a little tipsy already.

The group fell into agreement, those with complaints apparently deciding their trust of the group outweighed their hesitation. Jester went first, turning the dreaded question on Fjord, who chose truth and had to regal his first kiss for the group. It was, as it turned out, a girl from the orphanage he grew up in. The game continued from there, jumping from person to person until Nott decided it was Yasha’s turn. Like Fjord, Caleb, and Caduceus before her, she chose truth.

Nott hiccuped, “Who did you miss the most while you were gone?”

While she was gone, that seemed a merciful way to phrase it, especially from a drunken Nott. “Well, I—“ Yasha felt the tingle of magic up her spine, reminding her to move carefully around the Zone of Truth’s power. “I missed all of you quite a lot.”

“We know that, silly!” Said Jester. “We just wanna know about who you missed extra…” she drew out the last syllable of the word, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

Yasha maintained firm eye contact with her lap, hoping the flush she gained when she drank hadn’t become any more pronounced. “Beau, I suppose.”

Jester awed, and Yasha saw Beau shift across from her. She dared to look up and met Beau’s wide eyes expression. “I, um, missed talking and sparring with you.” She said hurriedly, thinking immediately back to the first time they sparred together. From the way she gnawed at her lip, Beau was doing the same, Yasha didn’t know if that had been her intention or not.

Beau took a quick shot of her drink and the moment was broken, the game continued.

After Caleb being forced to message Essek with an excerpt from Tusk Love, Beau nearly hitting Nott with a throwing star, and Caduceus sharing stories of pranking his siblings, the game found its way back to Yasha. This time she was at Jester’s mercy.

“I dare you to kiss Beau!” She declared, the mischievous grin on her face letting Yasha know she had planned it, most likely from Yasha’s fist answer. Yasha was sure her face was entirely red now, even as she expertly avoided Beau’s gaze.

“Come on,” she heard Beau say, “I know we’re messing around but Yasha doesn’t have to kiss me if she doesn’t want to.” She sounded painfully casual but there was something sad about her tone, disappointed that Yasha didn’t want to kiss her. Gods, if only she knew how much she wanted to. She bit her lip to keep from imagining tangling her hands in Beau’s hair, feeling the warmth of her mouth against her own.

Mercifully, Caleb spoke up, suggesting they all head to bed as it was late. The lack of sunlight in Rosohna meant that the group often trusted Caleb for exact times. Yasha pushed herself to her feet, legs slightly numb from all the time spent sitting, and made her way towards the stairs. Only stopped by Jester hurrying after her, “I’m sorry, Yasha. I didn’t mean to make you embarrassed.” She said, “I thought it would be fun and you would feel included.”

Despite her near painful embarrassment, Yasha appreciated how wholeheartedly Jester had accepted her back into the group, not giving her any suspicious glances or tiptoeing around her some of the others had taken to. Not that Yasha could complain, their hesitancy was well deserved. “It’s alright, Jester. I guess your dare was just a little too…spot on?” She said.

Jester gasped slightly, immediately quieting herself but unable to hide her excitement. “Do you like Beau?” She asked, words coming out in a jumble just as Beau approached behind her, and if her gaze locked on Yasha was anything to go by, she had heard the question.

For a moment, she let the question stand. Was she wondering herself? Or did she already know the answer? Conscience seemed to catch up with her as she placed a hand on Jester’s shoulder. “Race you to our room,” she said, quickly dodging around the tiefling and running up the stairs.

“Hey! I’m coming!”

Yasha watched them, slowly following after them and retreating to her own room. Gods, she was a coward.

+ I

Beau was restless that night, she couldn’t stop thinking about Jester’s question and Yasha’s lack of an answer. She wished she could just know how Yasha felt about her. Despite how close the group had become, Yasha still kept to herself a lot of the time, and her reaction to being dared to kiss Beau hadn’t helped when it came to figuring out her feelings. Beau rolled over on her stomach, squishing her face against her pillow and groaning before pushing herself out of bed with the intention of getting a snack or maybe more to drink.

She crept quietly out of her and Jester’s shared room, careful not to wake the tiefling. Once outside, she was greeted by a shadowy figure, she pulled back her arm to deliver a stunning strike before a soft voice asked, “Beau?”

“Yasha?” She said incredulously, “Having trouble sleeping?” 

Yasha’s two-toned eyes squinted slightly in the darkness to look at her, though Beau knew she could still see better than her. “A little. Did I scare you?”

“Nah,” Beau said confidently, “anything I can do to help?”

She heard Yasha’s voice form the beginning of what was no doubt a ‘no, it’s alright’ but she stopped. “…do you think you could, maybe, read this?” She asked shyly, holding out a book Beau couldn’t see the cover of in the dark. “I was going outside to read it, but if you could…” she trailed off.

“Read?” Beau was unable to keep the questioning tone out of her voice, out of everything she hadn’t expected reading to be Yasha’s first request.

“Yes, um, I think I told you I like…”

“Right, you like my voice?” Beau asked, hoping Yasha didn’t catch the slight hitch in her question.

“It’s nice,” Yasha admitted.

“Never had anyone say that before you.” Caleb has told her she was a good reader, once. Although, considering it was after she read smut aloud to the group and it sounded like the type praise one of her tutors would give, it was probably a joke and that was different for so many reasons anyway. Yasha complimented her then too. She had seemed interested throughout the entire story, probably paying the most attention other than Jester who was acting as Beau’s reading partner and liked that stuff anyway. Beau couldn’t help but wonder if Yasha has been imagining what Beau would actually sound like in a situation like that.

Not that mattered, because she was sure this book wouldn’t contain anything so salacious. “I can read to you, do you still wanna go outside or..?”

Yasha shook her head, “No, my room is alright,” she said, opening the door to her room and sitting on the bed, making room for Beau next to her on the pillow. Beau sat down next to her and took the book from her hand, opening to the first page and starting. It was all practical fighting knowledge, the kind of painfully boring basics that reminded Beau of the books found in her room at the Cobalt Soul that she never would’ve read if it had been up to her. She wondered where Yasha had gotten it.

It didn’t take long for Beau to glance over and find Yasha asleep, breath steady and face relaxed. Beau cherished the sight, she looked angelic, pale skin practically glowing in the darkness of the flower-covered room. A part of Beau wanted to stay with her, but Yasha deserved her privacy. She probably wasn’t expecting to wake up to Beau still in her bed. Beau leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss to Yasha’s forehead before moving to leave for her and Jester’s room again, stopped by a hand suddenly securing her wrist. Yasha was looking up at her with tired but aware eyes, apparently not as asleep as Beau had originally thought. She didn’t speak, moving her hand from Beau’s wrist up to cup the side of her face and pull her down, lips meeting her own.

Beau had always thought the descriptions of kissing in Jester’s romance books were flowery nonsense. Even with Tori, there had been no sparks, no fireworks, her body wasn’t set aflame by her touch. She just liked her a lot.

With Yasha, it was different. It wasn’t fireworks or sparks either, it was gentle. But, she felt like the world around her had disappeared entirely. She couldn’t feel the bed sheets beneath her knees or the slight sweat on the back of her neck from being so close to another person, all she could feel was Yasha. Yasha’s hand against her cheek, Yasha’s lips on her own, gently moving. It wasn’t demanding, it wasn’t even passionate in Beau’s traditional sense of the word. It was soft and sweet and everything that Yasha made Beau feel that she had never felt before.

It felt simultaneously like forever and a few moments until they separated, Beau guessed that was her logical mind warring with what she wanted. Which was to go back to kissing Yasha. “Yasha, I—“ her voice was a rough whisper.

Yasha smiled, ever so softly, “I’ve wanted to do that so many times,”

“Like during truth or dare?” Beau asked.

“Yeah, like then.”

“Me too.”

[zambie-trashart]

I Can't Help It pt 1

Phanfics Masterlist

This is a Julie and the Phantoms fic. I love Alex and I think he and Carrie would get along well. He looked like he had fun dancing with her so now he’s joining her maybe even permanently. Welp have fun reading. (I accidentally deleted this entire thing the first time I started writing it.)

Please ask for tags in this part of the pic so I know who I’ve tagged and who I haven’t tagged.

Summary: Alex is worried, he’s worried for the future, his past, Willie, the band. He’s so worried that when he goes out to find himself and starts missing practice, he gets kicked from the band. It’s not like they had been friends for years and Alex doesn’t have a place to stay, except that’s exactly what it looks like. Alex goes to stay with a friend and may even end up making a new friend. (post season one the boys can be seen when they want to)

                                                         ...

Alex was late, again. It wasn’t his fault, he was having fun in his newly visible body. He was having a new kind of fun in the LA scene, one that his friends couldn’t really give him and that was why he was having this conversation right now with two of his oldest friends and one new friend that he thought loved him.

“Alex, you’re kidding right, this is the sixth time you’ve been late for practice,” Luke said getting in his face.

“I get it but maybe we shouldn’t be having so many practices cause maybe it’s taking a lot out of some of us,” Alex said curling in on himself.

“Oh, it’s been hard on you? Reggie can’t see his parents and he has nowhere to go. Some of us aren’t lucky Alex, maybe we should find a new drummer,” Luke said. Julie and Reggie looked up in shock. Alex felt tears prick at the edge of his eyes no matter how much he insisted that he wasn’t an emotional person, he was the most sensitive out of the group.

“Maybe you should.” Alex just poofed out of the room and Luke stared at where he used to be before sinking to the ground on his knees not crying but mourning the loss of his friend. Reggie reached out to touch his shoulder but he got up and stormed out of the room.

Julie looked around her feeling tears come to her eyes and flow over. “Alex never had the most freedom, his parents were crazy religious and that showed when he came out to them a few days before we played the Orpheum. They almost didn’t let him go but he snuck out and they figured that they couldn’t stop him.” Reggie stopped to breathe. “Alex was always shy, reserved but Luke brought out, what does Flynn like to call it? His inner queen? Yeah, but the point is he broke out of his shell and now that he;s no longer in the band, he’s going to feel like letting that out somewhere. I just hope it’s not with Caleb. Alex never told Luke that he’s been looking for Willie while testing out the new limitations of his body. He’s worried about him and he has the right to be. I hope he doesn’t do something he regrets.” Reggie looked down.

“He’ll come back to us eventually, I know it,” Julie said sitting down next to Reggie who smiled up at her. They both reminded themselves to make Luke pay later.

Alex sat on a leather couch in a big house, Bobby’s house watching Carrie rehearse with her dancers. She never yelled at them despite her rough exterior.

“It would be so much cooler if we had a guy in the group,” Kayla said sighing.

“Let’s run it again, it has to be perfect,” Carrie said helping her friends stand again to practice one more time. Alex bounced slightly wanting to join this time and standing behind Carrie. She walked forward and Alex followed and snaked left swerving her right leg slightly bouncing to the music and Alex did the opposite going down further than her. He copied all her moves keeping up adding his own flair when he could before crashing back on her couch.

“Man it would be so fun to dance with them all the time,” Alex said watching as the girls clapped excitedly for themselves. Alex poofed up to the rooftop looking over the city. He wanted to hear distant wheels of a skateboard and rest his head on a strong shoulder attached to a head that wasn’t afraid of getting him out of his comfort zone. That guy would have said go for it. Dance with the girls cause you can do anything you put your mind to Hotdog. Alex wiped a tear from his eye looking back out at the city one more time. He didn’t know where to go so he stayed on the roof laying back looking at the stars.

Carrie woke up in the morning and found a body of a boy outside her house. He couldn’t have been much younger than her. She called out to her dad who ran outside and carried the boy in placing him on the couch before taking a closer look at him.

“Alex?” Trevor asked and he told Carrie to get dressed for school. Alex groaned going to sit up but hitting Trevor in the head with his own.

“Bobby?” Alex asked holding his head which now hurt just a bit from slamming it into Bobby’s head. Carrie walked down the stairs and out to her car giving the boy on her couch one last worried glance.

“Have a nice day at school sweetheart,” Trevor said and Alex tried his best not to laugh.

“Tell me how he turns out ok?” Carrie asked and her father gave a nod as she walked out.

“She seems nice,” Alex said and Bobby gave him a stern look. “You know I’m gay,” Alex gave him a look back.

“Just tell me why you’re here,” Bobby said.

“I have nowhere to go, Luke kicked me out of the band, I can’t go back to Caleb cause he’ll just use me to get the others, I can’t find Willie so I came to you cause you’re still my friend even if we all died,” Alex said and he started to feel tears roll down his face again.

“Luke is an asshole, you can stay here as long as you want, Carrie has always wanted a brother,” Bobby said ruffling Alex’s hair smiling a little.

“Really?” Alex asked and Bobby nodded gesturing for him to follow upstairs. There was a spare room it was a nice rose color with a king bed and clothes that wouldn’t fit Alex but they could fix that later. Alex hugged Bobby as tight as he could and Bobby just hugged him back feeling tears well in his eyes at the sight of at least one of his friends coming to see him.

Julie walked into school and saw that Carrie looked a little out of it. She wasn’t terrorizing Flynn and Julie like she normally was.

“She seems a little more like an airhead than usual,” Flynn said laughing and Carrie heard and just stomped off.

“There’s something up with her,” Julie said and Luke poofed in with Reggie not that far behind. “Did you find him?” Julie said looking at Flynn so she wasn’t called crazy… again.

“We can’t find Alex anywhere, it’s like he’s gone. We haven’t checked Caleb’s and we don’t know where Willie would be but at this point we have to assume the worst and just say he’s with Caleb working for him for eternity to get away from us.

Carrie had snuck around back to listen to Julie’s one-sided conversation.

“Poor Alex, this is all your fault Luke, you have to keep looking for him,” Julie said getting pissed.

“We’ve searched everywhere even clubs that he would be too young to get into anyway.” Luke and Reggie just poofed away when she directed an anger flued gaze at them.

“Wait, Alex is missing, what are you going to do without a drummer?” Flynn asked.

“I don’t know but I’m worried about him, Luke blew up at him yesterday cause Alex misses his boyfriend who is missing by the way,” Julie said and Flynn just slammed her head into a wall. The two made it through classes with the boys in the back watching them begging for forgiveness silently. They truly had no idea that Alex was having the time of his life or well afterlife at least.

Bobby took Alex through stores and even though Alex said he didn’t need anything, he told him that unless he wanted Carrie to take him shopping he better at least pick out a few shirts and pants. Pink shirts, white ripped jeans, pink Adidas sneakers, and caps were brought into the house and Carrie arrived home at the same time.

“Carrie, meet Alex, Alex this is Carrie.” The two shook hands and Alex just looked nervously at the ground after letting go of her hand. “Alex, do you mind going upstairs and putting this stuff away while I talk to Carrie for a bit?” Bobby asked and Alex nodded, getting that he needed to talk to his daughter about this huge change.

“What’s going on dad?” Carried asked hoping that Alex was going to stay with them.

“Alex ran away from home, his parents don’t approve of some of his choices in who he gets involved with romantically. His father is an old friend of mine but obviously we share a few differences in our view on the way the world works.” Carrie looked at her father in shock, he had never shown that much compassion for someone other than Julie and Rosa when she was alive.

“Can I go see him?” Carrie asked not even waiting for permission running up the stairs.

“Yeah just be nice!” Trevor yelled after his daughter knowing how easily frightened Alex could be.

Carrie stood outside Alex’s room and looked through the door hearing a song on and saw the boy dancing, he was good. Carrie watched as he struck a pose before clapping walking in as he adjusted himself shying away.

“No, that was good, you have a few technique flaws but we can work those out if you want to join my group. It might help you come out of your shell a little more than you are now,” Carrie said walking over to the boy who was sitting on the edge of the bed head in his hands.

“Are you sure you want me?” Alex asked looking up at her from the bed.

“Positive, now let’s get you ready for practice.” Carrie pulled him up and he laughed a little relieved. Carrie was so nice to him and he knew why, she had a little Bobby in her and that part of her was shining through with him just like it did with Bobby. He never got mad about Alex liking guys it just meant more girls for Bobby. She was just like him and at that point Alex only cared that he didn’t mess up the choreography.

He stood in the living room in front of four girls his hand glued to Carrie’s. He gulped and the girls just ran up to him hugging him jumping a little.

“Let’s fix everything.” Alex had no idea how much those words meant to him on a deeper level.

“Yeah.”

[nicknellie]

For sure, as I (believe) mentioned before music is Luke’s way of showing that he cares (Julie with bright ect) so it would make the most sense for him to be the only one who sings it to Alex.

Oh no, I was thinking that however I’m just now picturing it in my head like the last verse is just Luke because the other boys are crying so hard and Luke is as well but he needs to finish the song because Alex has to know.

Precisely, although the band wouldn’t be the same without one of them (they literally changed band names when they added Julie) it’s hard for any of them to think that they matter as much as they do.

Yes, I think that as well although Luke never intends for it to happen he is usually either the reason why fight starts are involved in them. Mostly due to the fact that as you said he is headstrong, and while I do think that he open minded sometimes with his opinions it takes longer for him to consider the other side (Him telling Julie that she needs to get back into the music program ect).

Although with Willie for Alex we see him sometimes being able to stand up for himself I feel like when it comes to his bandmates he sometimes may not have that back bone mostly because in the back of his head he’s afraid that they will kick him out. (Not that they really did anything that Alex needs to call them out for however just in general)

Depending on which fic you’re talking about I might have read it as well, but I’ve seen theories/stories about that as well.

Honestly I keep thinking that the boys met each other rather young however I completely agree, for a few years Bobby just didn’t have a lot of friends

Sadness, I’ve also saw a comment somewhere in which someone mentioned that for the boys stuff to be in the garage it was Bobby who probably put it there and that’s upsetting. (Poor Bobby)

Just randomly he sees one of Alex’s jigsaws and their random hobbies and he burst into more tears (could possibly be were he thinks that using the songs would be a good thing)

I can just see Reggie trying to lure Alex into a wild goose case just because he’s trying to get him confused (Alex is more so concerned but just moves on) Yes, that exactly how Bobby and Luke react. Also they can’t really lie to Alex so they won’t make eye contact with him, which is how Alex is able to tell that Bobby isn’t truthful.

Exactly, that’s what I was thinking as well! Bobby looks calm however he’s able to deck someone if needed, honestly after a while people just know not to mess with him however Luke still comes as a surprise because he acts like a puppy.

Wait yes!! Reggie learned art from his grandad (also partly where his love of country music comes from but none of the boys know why he started writing country music) (Luke always tries to get him to stop writing them however whenever Reggie is feeling sad they tend to play his grandads favorite country song which is the only one that Luke will accept)

Wait yes!! I was thinking the exact same thing, I could just see him taking a picture and then painting it. Reggie just makes paintings of all of them but as Luke is the most photogenic a majority of them is of him.

Yes, comfort music and poetry (also comfort baking especially for Reggie because Alex can’t say no to Reggie even though he once requested a Han Solo cake)

Precisely! For a bit of time the boys would be concerned just because they associated Alex baking with him being stressed (even if Alex says it’s nothing if they wake up and the garage smells like someone has been baking they know). I actually remember reading this fic that basically had Alex make cookies and then give them to a random stranger (Willie) and your idea kind of reminded me of that. But yes, and Alex is such a god baker that although the boys need him to go to sleep immediately they don’t protest to the immense amount of baked goods.

Completely, Reggie doesn’t seem tired however he is so active that the boys just know. (Possibly could’ve been when he thought that fixing his amp in the rain was a good idea).

Oh wait yes, and there’s no in between either just those two and Alex is always prepared.

If Trevor and Mitch were close then it definitely would’ve been easier for Trevor to help him make the charity. (It took Emily and Mitch a bit of time to recognize where they knew Trevor from because unlike the boys they weren’t able to pinpoint him immediately)

They definitely saw the boys as their sons, (depending on the time line) when Alex ran away he went to them first and Emily was one of the first adults (soon after Bobby) who Alex came out to.

Honestly I was thinking that for a bit of time Trevor wouldn’t announce who he was however I think your theory makes a lot more sense and I prefer it. Also I do feel like they could’ve been neglectful but Sunset Curve found a family within each other so it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been that they didn’t have the best parents.

It’s the only logical explanation that she’s Julie’s mom and if she isn’t then there has to be a reason for her character outside of a worker you know. (I’ve seen some theories where they say that Caleb is behind their murder so if that’s the direction that they take and if she’s supposed to be like a spy for his club I will rage)

Yes, basically everyone thanks Rose because she is amazing.

Honestly I have quite a bit that I expect from season two but I just really hope that they touch upon those story lines also developed and spend more time on their characters (Flynn and Willie deserved better). I’d love flashbacks like that as well, and going along with your theory kind of like in unsaid Emily as the song is continuing and all the sudden we get like a flashback scene (how they did it) that’s what they should do, if the boys sit down and tell Julie about their past.

He is such a family man, honestly if anything I just don’t really feel like they developed Trevor enough to tell what he is like as a parent however I just don’t see him as someone who doesn’t care because he had quite a few examples of not so great parents growing up, (not being supportive, neglectful, not accepting their kid and fighting in front of them jus to name a few) that he never wanted to be like them.

So I’ve been thinking about this for a bit so I’ll bring it out now, in stand tall when Carrie makes a comment before the show we see his face kind of scrunch up and I feel like season two could have a scene where he talks to her about her behavior and could possibly be how they do her redemption arc (?). Because he loves her so much, and although he may not be the best at showing it (now that he lost the boys it’s been hard for him to get close to people even his own daughter due to the fact that he’s afraid of losing them)

Exactly, it feels like they don’t care about the fact that they died. For some people it does take longer to react to things end it could just be that they’re still processing it however we get no insight to the fact that they’re even mildly thinking about it. I do think part of it is that although even has changed they still have each other and therefore they can try to get through everything that they possibly could.

Alex is such a sweetheart, and that’s exactly what he would do because he genuinely enjoyed helping people also the fact that Bobby means so much to him just made him feel like he was on cloud nine.

That’s exactly the song, The boys are so concerned and Alex and Luke at one point turns to Julie and is like that’s why I didn’t want him to know about Jar-Jar, I can’t believe he’s done this again (occasionally Reggie brings out heavy metal and no one knows why)

(So I’ve never seen Star Wars either, honestly I just said that character because he is adorable)

Julie is just concerned about them in general however during this moment she’s just so confused (I feel like Carlos is a huge Star Wars fan, part of why Reggie likes him so much so due to that fact she’s also a fan) however they spend the next 20 ish minutes talking about how much the franchise has changed ect.

It would totally be their thing, and although Alex isn’t into photography as much as Reggie is, they both just love the experience and spending time together. Also they loved having Luke and Bobby there as well, surprisingly Bobby knows a lot about photography as well or at least the developing stages so if the boys are there then Reggie and Bobby usually take over doing the developing and Luke and Alex just watch.

Yes, this is how Reggie gets into lots of scrapbooking conversations (also randomly gets stickers from people) for the fact that he’s so well known for how much he loves scrapbooking.

That’s exactly how the shoot for the deme photo went. One of the photos has Reggie out of place and the boys in movement and since Reggie thought it was the last one he almost burst out into tears (they quickly discovered that there was another picture which became the cover).

Yes, Reggie just keeps giving Julie scrapbooks of Luke. (Reggie is the embarrassing mom friend that would pull out baby pictures just to spite someone)

Instagram account- yes, and his followers are sometimes confused as to how he could possibly get those pictures without being seen but they just accept it as Reggie being Reggie. For sure, Flynn and Reggie would be the best friendship duo and the photos are insane. (Luke is photogenic but Flynn is a whole level because she will gladly do a 2 hour photo shoot)

Luke would definitely let Reggie have the wrappers, and that’s precisely what Alex‘s reaction would be.

That’s what I was thinking as well, he’s just so shaky and the writing is so blurry to him because he has so many tears in his eyes and eventually he just can’t look at it anymore (that’s why the photos are not in the scrapbook but just placed inside because although he knew how much it would mean to Reggie, Bobby didn’t have the strength to make a new page)

Yes Luke would definitely wrap the gifts in tinfoil (‘I have more class than that Luke’ ‘Reggie, you wrap your gifts with newspaper’)

Everyone just takes Alex’s hoodies, even Julie.

You described that beautifully that is exactly what their relationship is.

The hoodies are essential during movie nights because Luke and Reggie have enough room to pull the hoodies over their face so they don’t have to see what’s on screen. Over time Alex isn’t scared by them however (despite seeing the film like four times) Luke let out a gigantic scream once at a film and it terrified Alex. Ah I love that you included Willie (who is the king of stealing hoodies much to Alex’s sadness) and that is exactly what would happen.

Yes, and Alex takes his job as a choreographer very seriously (honestly it’s just for entertainment because Alex is very amused) The picture that Owen posted somewhere buried in the scrapbooks there is a similar one of sunset curve in similar costumes that Luke has tried to get Reggie to burn. Also although Luke is not interested he is the best dancer and it’s very normal thing to walk into the garage and see them waltzing with each other.

I love the way that you said this and I completely agree, it’s one way that Alex and Julie bond (also she finds that picture of Luke and Alex waltzing and she forces him to teach her how to waltz)

Honestly at one point I was going to say I love how all of this started because of a jigsaw.

I’m sorry this took me so long to get to but as I predicted I’ve been writing my response for a whole hour and I’m hoping it’s worth it 😂 oh god I loved literally all of this, more under keep reading :)))

Ok so originally I started bullet pointing everything and I planned to put it all into a big thing like I did before, then I accidentally started putting more detail into the bullet points and just stuck with it 😂 the first few aren’t as detailed but it gets better the longer it goes on. That’s also why they’re all numbered lmao

1. Luke’s voice breaking as he holds the last note at the end of the song and him desperately trying to make it all the way without crying so Alex can see how much he cares

2. All of them knowing they’re like family but also constantly feeling like they’re stepping on eggshells because they’re so used to making mistakes within their own homes that they think it’ll be just as easy with all their friends

3. Interesting that you mentioned the music program - implies he always thinks that his ideas aren’t necessarily the best but they’re for the best and he struggled to change his mind to see other sides of the argument which is where the fighting started

4. Alex was usually the mediator because whenever there was a problem he would lay the facts out in his mind and sort through all outcomes to the best possible solution that would hopefully please everyone - generally everyone agreed after Alex intervened and it was rare he was involved in arguments himself

5. Totally right about Alex not standing up for himself (see “And you can’t make us either! ...Sir” to Caleb) and that’s why he was hardly ever involved; when he did argue he could actually get kind of nasty which made him feel awful

6. Yeah same I think he just seemed like a bit of a loner and let’s be real kind of intimidating despite his chill personality and the guys were the first to break down his walls

7. I’ve seen stuff like that - like it was probably him who had to identify the bodies and take their stuff back and that’s a horrible weight for a 17-y-o to bare and it makes me wonder how people can dislike Bobby based on actions and choices he made when he was grieving for his family

8. Omg he goes through each of their bags after he’s taken them back to the studio that night (not Luke’s bc Mitch and Emily have it) and he finds the tiny easy jigsaw Alex uses before shows and a half completed crossword book in Reggie’s stuff

9. Also!! Reggie does sudokus too! I kept forgetting what they were called and wanting to add them in, but sudokus!! He loves them

10. Yes lmao Reggie starts off with a really confusing lie that makes Alex asks more questions - it once ended up with the completely false story that Reggie was planning to climb Mount Everest and they weren’t telling Alex because he was afraid of heights

11. I love thinking that the boys just can’t lie to each other because we see in the show they can’t lie (high-pitched ummmm and “we were looking for the kitchen...?”) so tiny things like that are perfect I’m so in agreement

12. Exactly yes!!!! Luke is friends with everyone he speaks to until they say something that rubs him the wrong way and he just kind of explodes (unless it’s someone he’s close to)

13. YES OMG I didn’t even think of that being where Reggie’s love of country music came from but YES omg totally

14. Because I love Johnny Cash I’m claiming Reggie’s favourite country song as Ring of Fire because it’s quite upbeat and I can see him and his grandad jamming out to it in the old days - other favourites were I Walk The Line and A Boy Named Sue

15. I feel like Reggie’s art style would swing between very realistic like when he paints the boys and also kind of similar to Booboo Stewart’s art

16. Alex tried his hardest to deliver with the Han Solo cake and it definitely could have turned out worse! Reggie helped decorate because he couldn’t wait until it was finished to see the result

17. Yes omg like the boys trying to say like “you good buddy?” through huge mouthfuls of cake and the whole effect of concern being lost - Alex eventually starts baking even when he’s fine so it’s harder to tell when he’s stressed, but baking always cheers him up so they don’t mind

18. That fic sounds really sweet omg 🥺

19. Absolutely omg! It’s like the middle of the night, full-on storm outside, and Reggie just thinks “oh yeah I gotta fix my amp, no time like the present” and it didn’t go well obviously

20. Yes and now you’ve said that I kinda feel like Emily was the second person he told who took it well? Like Bobby was first, then his parents reacted badly, and then he went to Luke’s house - Emily asked if he wanted to see Luke but he kind of broke down and asked if he could talk to her instead

21. He told her everything and she was incredibly supportive - because for a while Alex wanted to keep things on the down-low Luke didn’t even know he stayed at his house that night

22. Yeah I just need more found-family 90s Sunset Curve moments along with the found-family present day Julie and the Phantoms moments 🥺

23. idk if you saw but the book confirmed that Rose is her mother!!!! It’s officially canon!!! So no worries about her being a spy for Caleb, I think Rose is way too nice for that (oops sorry if you’re avoiding book spoilers 😬)

24. Omg louder for the people in the back Flynn and Willie deserved better!!! They deserved so much more screen time, Flynn deserves her own storyline (personally I’m rooting for her to be the first to reconnect with Carrie and I’m a hardcore Flarrie shipper so that would be cool, but I’d settle for them just being friends again) and I’d love to see Willie dealing with the emotional baggage and realisations that come after Caleb’s stamp gets lifted

25. Exactly!! This!! He loves his family so much, probably blames himself a little for the boys’ death (for not going with them, even though there was nothing he could have done, or for encouraging them to go) and he doesn’t want to lose his family!

26. Omg I’ve never considered that but I love it! I want more Trevor and Carrie moments in general and him showing some good parenting by helping her be better would be totally perfect yesssss

27. Yeah I get that, like the main thing is that they have each other and as long as they have that they’ll be fine - although like you said because it takes some people longer to process it I’d love to see either Luke or Reggie start thinking about it when they realise that Julie and the others are growing up but they’ll be 17 forever

28. Ajakkffjsl YES Reggie just randomly writing heavy metal songs, either about something he hates or just. Totally for no reason other than he likes the freedom of screaming (but he doesn’t like listening to it as he doesn’t like shouting)

29. That’s Gizmo??? Omg yes oh my Lord idk what that thing is but I would die for it and so would Reggie

30. Carlos and Reggie having lightsaber fights. That’s it. All Carlos can see is a floating lightsaber but they both have the time of their lives/afterlives

31. Omg what if Bobby learnt about the developing thing bc as we’ve established Reggie is not that careful but Bobby is very gentle and it’s something you need to be gentle for so he learns it just to help Reggie

32. For most famous bands or whatever they get asked for autographs or whatever but not Reggie - he gets given stickers and people ask to take photos, then make him keep the photos and ask them to put them in his scrapbook; even though Sunset Curve were still relatively small he had a whole album dedicated to photos with fans

33. Lmao yeah they just couldn’t time it right and thankfully got the photo on the very last try - Reggie literally cried with happiness

34. Yes!! This!! Oh my god!! Whenever Luke is being particularly annoying Reggie just calls Julie over and sits her down with a photo album - the best ones are the photos of Luke stuck in weird places (idk I feel like he’d do stupid things and get stuck a lot. He once got his head stuck in a train door and instead of helping the boys just laughed at him. That happened to me one time which is why I thought of it)

35. Hell yeah Reggie’s photography account blows up, especially when Flynn starts managing it. And those two hour shoots are almost always her idea - she’ll just show up at the studio with a bunch of outfits and shout to the air “Reggie get your camera ready!”

36. Omg don’t do that to meeeee 😭 he couldn’t make himself flip through the pages and stick the photos in because he didn’t want to relive all the memories that had suddenly turned painful 😭 so he just carefully slips the photos inside and never looks at them again

37. Julie in Alex’s hoodie is possibly the greatest mental image I’ve ever had - he can’t find it, and usually it’s Luke or Reggie, and nowadays Willie tends to take it too, so Alex marches into the studio and asks which one of them has it, at which point he sees Julie huddled up in it for warmth and he just melts because she’s freaking adorable and he can’t believe how lucky he is to have her as a best friend

38. Lmaooo Reggie and Luke hiding under the hoodies is PERFECT and yes Luke is such a scaredy-cat no matter how tough he tries to act

39. Alex looks forwards to their dance sessions every time lmao and YES he got them all matching costumes and Luke despises the photos

40. Sunset Curve (and later Julie and the Phantoms) dancing with each other was not something I knew I needed in my life but I’m so glad you said it because YES

41. Kinda considering buying a custom JatP jigsaw from somewhere because now I feel like I deserve one