#this is finding a guy in my town on tinder

[cheesiedomino]

Second Chances ꙳ ੭ * ‧

synopsis: your old situationship from many years ago just moved back in town and of course, he has to text you. but it’s not just any normal text — he’s asking you out on a proper date this time. will you give a second chance to Cupid? or will you be left here feeling stupid?

genre: lee minho x fem!reader | exes (??) to lovers wc: 4.6k tags/warnings: fluff, some light angst, slightly suggestive but nothing srs, mild cursing, kissing, small mentions of crying T-T

now playing 🎧: from the start by laufey

[this is part of my valentine’s series where i write a short story for each member surrounding themes of love, newfound romance, relationship hardships & more.]

“Why don’t you give Tinder a try already? I’m sick of hearing you nagging all day about being lonely!” Areum abruptly suggests mid-convo , resting her palm on the side of her face.

As you both casually wait for the food to arrive, you end up on the dreadful topic of dating again. You got into a real heated discussion with her, sitting in a booth at this new restaurant one of your coworker’s recommended. It wasn’t super well known but they wouldn’t stop raving about how delicious their breadsticks were. The place wasn’t too jam packed but definitely had a decent amount of people. What you weren’t anticipating on was seeing dozens of couples here, it kind of threw your whole vibe off since it only reminded you of your current sad relationship status. Maybe you were putting far too much thought into it but everything seemed so highly unfair. Glaring in envy while they all happily rub in your face that they’ve found their forever companion.

Life really can be cruel at times.

“You can’t be for real right now..” you instantly side eye your friend from across the table. Feeling personally triggered whenever she mentions online dating. You refuse to try it, never wanting to partake in such a vain concept where you swipe left and right based solely on looks. “That’s not the same as real romance. I want to meet someone naturally, wanna tell my kids when they grow up how I met their dreamy, hunk of a father in aisle 39 at Whole Foods.”

One could say it’s almost pathetic in a way— this burning desire you harbor within, longing for a pure, quaint, and beautiful love. Constantly catching yourself daydreaming about finding your life partner, the person you’re going to marry and possibly create an eternal family with. That day has yet to come unfortunately, but you still hold onto the thought of you someday meeting the one.

You thought you found them before, but thou shalt not speak thy names out into existence.

“Well, good luck finding ‘real romance’ in the big age of 2024-” Areum snorts in amusement, taking a pause to sip on her mango strawberry lemonade. “I need whatever drugs you’re on that’s making you this delulu so I can fantasize about my knight and shining armor that’s never coming!”

God you hate that word. Delulu. Why are you suddenly “delusional” for wanting a picture perfect romance? It doesn’t need to be perfect per se, but you want to feel adored, swept off your feet and embraced like the true queen you are. Was that too much to ask? Considering the current state of dating in this day and age, it might just be.

“I mean, let’s face it girl. You literally don’t know the first thing about love ___, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows like in the K-dramas y’know! Haven’t you only had like one boyfriend in high school? You barely even dated that guy for a month-”

“That’s because he dumped me to go move to LA and become a dumb YouTuber!” You snapped back, cutting her off to get all the facts straight.

It was hard not to grimace while thinking of such old memories. Dating a Minecraft streamer definitely had to be one of the most embarrassingly cringe choices you’ve ever made.

“Whatever that’s beside the point. What I’m trying to get at here is you don’t have the best track record when it comes to men. Remember that other guy you were seeing before we graduated? I thought y’all would’ve dated for sure but he turned out to be a dickhole just like the rest of ‘em…” Areum shakes her head in disbelief, recalling all those times you’d call in a frenzied panic about things not working out.

“What was his name again? Min… Minwoo? No, that’s not it.. it was definitely Min something.” She attempts on remembering but keeps drawing a blank.

“Minho.” You answer almost instantaneously. His name still rolled off the tongue smooth as velvet.

It felt weird though. Saying it out loud after so many years of blocking it from your immediate vocabulary. A name you thought would never escape your lips again.

“Damn, you really still think about him don’t you?” She dares to ask, knowing how difficult it is for you to even talk about this anymore.

You only respond by nodding slowly, unable to bring yourself to look at her. It was far too intense; bearing the emotions of hurt and guilt from a past fling that meant more to you but nothing to the other. That’s how most of your tragic stories end— always too overly into them while they barely reciprocate any of that energy towards you. The thing is, you thought Minho actually liked you, even so far as wanting to date in the near future. Considering he brought you over his parent’s house (to hook up of course), and though you didn’t meet them you still think that meant something. Most men don’t just bring any woman they’re seeing to their parent’s place without somewhat thinking a potential relationship could happen down the line.

“So that’s why you should download Tinder and start swipin’ on some other cuties! It’ll at least distract you for a bit and get your mind off that asswipe,” Areum pitches her idea once more, “there’s plenty other fish in the sea ___. Not everyone online is some crazy serial killer, plus you clearly don’t seem to be having much luck out in the real world.”

You wanted to jump up from the table and erase that smirk from her face but instead you roll your eyes at that last remark. “I don’t need those shitty dating apps. I’m very capable of finding someone in real life for your information!” You quickly retort as a means to defend yourself. Even though she did have a point, her delivery could’ve been a little bit nicer.

It’s not easy being a hopeless romantic, you can’t help but yearn for that special someone to enter your life and change it for the better. You won’t feel wholly satisfied nor complete until you do. The sad reality of the matter was that you are still painfully single. No one’s interesting enough to cease your attention, let alone go on any actual dates. Areum’s had enough of your bitching and whining though, there’s only so many rants and tirades she can keep listening to about your vicious hatred for men before she loses it completely. Your nonexistent love life has become more of a nuisance as that time of year approaches— Valentine’s Day. A god forsaken holiday you’ve always loathed with a passion. Wanting nothing more than to be one of those girls on the receiving end getting flowers and chocolates. A day full of the utmost joy and pleasant surprises from your loving significant other.

Must be nice..

Speaking of surprises.. The buzzing in your ear echoes from your phone pinging loudly, indefinitely startling you. Grabbing it to check the sudden notification, your eyes go absurdly wide at the contact name displayed on your screen. Blinking numerous times from shock, you stare at your phone in incredulity; making sure your eyes weren’t playing tricks on you.

Lee Minho. The Lee Minho?

What kind of sorcery is being conjured where the instant you bring him up, he somehow texts you after all these years of not speaking? This coincidence was more than unsettling to you. A part of your inner thoughts still believes this is all some elaborate joke being played on you, waiting for a cameraman to pop out of some curtain to announce you’ve just been pranked. But nothing happens, life proceeds as normal. Now you’re left with the most puzzling notification you might’ve ever received.

It was your last year of college and the pressure of your academics along with appeasing your family was getting to you immensely. You needed an escape from all of it, desperately. Which you found through none other than Lee Minho, the boy who worked as a barista at Cozmo’s; this coffee shop you used to frequent a lot. It was a cute, small family-owned establishment and they made the best matcha lattes— in your humble opinion. You’d pick one up almost every day along with a slice of freshly baked cinnamon bread. It started off as only playful banter with him in the beginning, then it lead to more as time went on. One day, as you reached out to pay he blocked your hand from moving any closer, letting you freely walk away without spending a dime. This soon became a regular occurrence, as you’d start seeing Minho outside of work, getting to know more and more about him. You remember so desperately wanting to date back then, pitying your past self for thinking there was even a chance.

‘Maybe he’s just texted the wrong person’ you psyche yourself into thinking, but when you unlock your phone to finally read the message — an uncomfortable lump forms in the pit of your throat.

Minho 🐈:

Hey is this still ___’s number?

You honestly don’t know why you still have his number saved, let alone allowing a whole emoji to be next to it. Though it never was like you to delete anything, no matter how painful it may have been. More lingering questions makes you want to seek out the possible solutions. Why would he text you of all people ? None of this adds up in your mind realistically. Furrowing your brows in concentration, you think of what to say as you draft out a response.

Yes… who’s this?

After a tedious struggle of typing out multiple paragraphs and immediately deleting them, you went over your words a few more times before sending a final reply. It would’ve been strange had you knew exactly who he was off the bat, that’ll just be dead giveaway you still had his contact info saved this whole time. But with that logic, doesn’t that make Minho just as odd for still keeping your number after all this time has passed?

Your phone dings again.

Minho 🐈:

Srsly -_-

Did you really delete my number??

Bet he didn’t see that one coming. He probably thought the moment he texts you, you were gonna kiss up to him like you’ve always done in the past. Mentally giggling to yourself at the image of him getting flustered by you not knowing who he was at first. Feels good to know you knocked his confidence down a peg.

Lol, chillax.. I know it’s you Minho :P

Not even a minute later, a flood of incoming messages appear. Biting your lip out of nervousness, your heart couldn’t stop beating so fast— anxiously checking your phone as the atmosphere around you suddenly gets stuffier.

Minho 🐈:

Better be lucky I didn’t block you after that ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

Guess who’s back in the city btw. Did ya miss me? ;)

No need to answer that, I already know you did. You should stop by at Cozmo’s again sometime!

Also what’re you up to this week? I need you to clear out all your plans because I’m taking you out on a date.

You always knew Minho was the bold type but this was on another level. The sheer audacity he has to even ask something like this after not reaching out for almost 3 years was more than ballsy on his part. It felt like a surge of butterflies erupting in your stomach, getting lightheaded as you think about seeing him again. He really had an effect on you like no other.

Glancing up from your screen to finally pay attention to Areum again, you assure her everything’s going to be just fine. “Looks like I won’t be needing to download Tinder after all.”

Later on that day you ended up going to Cozmo’s and meeting up with Minho. It never really took much convincing from him to get you to budge, though it was a hell of a lot worse back then. You used to blindly follow along with anything he said just to seek his approval, hoping that eventually he’ll see you as the girl he wants to settle down with. Alas, nothing ever blossomed into something more, and you knew deep down that this was headed nowhere— but that still didn’t stop you from fantasizing about a future with him. Getting lost into deep thought, head heavy in the clouds as you imagine the idea of Minho confessing his undying love for you. You’ll be so caught off guard as he gets down on one knee, looking at you with the entire solar system in eyes while he proposes in the most charming way. It really is pitiful how much you still daydream about a guy who wasn’t your boyfriend but would constantly act like he was, then up and leaves without mentioning a single word about it.

You convinced yourself he ran off with someone else to have a better life with, even hearing through town gossip that he’s moved to South Korea to pursue becoming an idol. Whatever the case may be it still weighed heavily on your mind that he never bothered to tell you anything, even a simple ‘goodbye’ would’ve sufficed the empty hole in your heart. The main reason you agreed on meeting up with Minho was to finally ask, why? Why did he pretend to like you? Why did he act like your boyfriend when he never had intentions on seriously dating? Why was he so good at making you fall so hard for him..?

“You look great.” You subconsciously blurt out, affixed in a daze as you stare in awe at the man in front of you.

It’s been a while since you came here— never able to fully bring yourself to try and go back. Though you knew this place first, and they really did have the best Mactha lattes in the universe. It reminded you too much of him and you sadly had to let it go.

You weren’t proud of it but you did go home quickly to change clothes and redo your makeup. Usually you wouldn’t care but this was the only guy you’ve been consistently crushing on for years, you had to feel good inside and out. Minho was just as gorgeous as you remembered, if not he looked even more ethereal — which seemed impossible in itself already. He’s grown up so beautifully, his facial features became more sharp, especially his jawline which looks so defined and sculpted by the Gods.

Minho lightly chuckles at your timidness, some things just never change. “You look way better.” His lips drew into a faint smirk as he admires your presence.

He meant every word of what he said, you looked really good, and it was making him even more frustrated that so much time has passed. Regretting the way he handled things so many years ago, wishing he could take it all back and do everything differently. Seeing you again made it easier for Minho to suppress the guilt he’s borne for so long. This moment feels like a second chance to make amends for his past mistakes.

You couldn’t help but blush when you hear his compliment, feeling your ears grow hot as you look at the ground. There was a silent pause between you that lasted for what seemed like ages. Weirdly enough the conversation flowed well after he finally broke the awkwardness, the chemistry was overall still there and were able to pick up right where it left off.

“I’m so glad you came ___, I’ve been dying to see you since I got here. I’m surprised you even still responded to my lame ass.”

Minho’s light confession puzzles you. If he really was dying to see you, why’d he wait so long to get in contact with you? To be fair, you don’t know the exact time he came back.

“Oh, is that so? When’d you come back? Also show me pics of Korea, I’ve always wanted to know what it’s like there.” You fondly inquire, leaning against the side of the wall as he’s still behind the counter. He mentioned to you he’s only working part time because his parents would rather mooch off their son for free labor than to hire and pay a new employee.

“Yesterday,” he quickly states before taking out his phone to scroll through his gallery, “guess my sister must’ve told you I went there huh?”

You shook your head, “Nah, I haven’t talked to Elle in a while. She’s tried hitting me up a few times though.. but I found out through Areum ‘cause she was seeing Hoseok back then.”

They were definitely “seeing” each other alright, but mostly in the bedroom. Areum didn’t want anything exclusive with Hoseok and neither did he, it was the perfect friends with benefits situation. Minho and Hoseok were good friends who’ve known each other for a while, so naturally he’d tell Areum everything and overshare at some point.

“Agh, there’s a customer gotta take this. One sec, sorry!” He briefly apologizes before bringing his attention to the new person heading inside. You nod, signaling he’s good to go. “I’ll be waiting over there,” you point to a small wooden table with 2 chairs in a corner.

Once Minho comes back you notice he’s no longer wearing his purple work apron; back in his regular attire now and sporting an oversized dark grey hoodie that was three times too big. He was holding a large cup with green liquid and a paper bag in his hand, that’s when it clicks for you— he still remembers your favorite meal.

He’s grinning the whole time he’s handing you the matcha latte and cinnamon pastry, smiling from ear to ear like a kid on Christmas Day. This was the most you’ve seen him be so enthusiastic about something, even back when you were “with” him you can’t recall him beaming with such energy like this.

“Awh, thank you. I haven’t had either one of these in years!” You wanted to give him the biggest hug but you refrained from doing so, feeling as though it may be too early for that.

“Of course dear, anything for you.”

Why does everything he says have to make you melt from the inside out? It’s not fair! >:(

Glancing down at your yummy beverage, you see a message written on the side of the glass with bold permanent sharpie. Tilting your head to read it, the words are bit jumbled together but you get the gist. You’re almost left speechless after it reads: ‘___, Will you be my valentine?’

Your most dreaded and least favorite holiday is here, yippee! But, there’s a twist on this year’s turn of events; you actually have someone to celebrate this wretched tradition with. You should be excited but all you’re feeling is the sudden urge to vomit as you were nervous out of your mind. This was kind of weird to you, going on a date with your ex boyfriend who was never even your real boyfriend. Looking back on it now you shouldn’t have tolerated a relationship dynamic like that, Minho was clearly taking advantage of your passiveness by not explicitly saying what he wanted. On the contrary, you had no one to blame but yourself, you never spoke up or criticized anything even if it didn’t coincide with your personal morals.

The fact he never took you on an actual date until now speaks volumes, you obviously didn’t have enough self worth back to demand better treatment. It took you years of figuring out what a real, healthy relationship is supposed to be like through trials of therapy and that was an emotional rollercoaster in itself. All your uncertainties soon faded away once you became more secure and knew exactly what you wanted for yourself. It took every ounce of patience and acceptance to unlearn all your bad coping mechanisms and other toxic behaviors that were only stunting your inner growth. You’re happy to be in a position now where you’re able to express wholeheartedly what you deserve, it’s the best feeling ever to feel like you’re in control of your own life.

You spent almost 3 hours getting ready and your bedroom now looked like a war zone. The outfit you chose was super girly, a frilly white dress with pink platform heels— Minho’s going to drool in amazement when he sees you. When you sent Areum photos of you before heading out, she responds right way with a series of hearts and other sweet comments— hyping you up to no end like the best friend she is. She’s also able to help pull you out of your doubtful headspace, when you felt unsure if you could really go through with this she quickly psyched you out of it. Reminding you exactly who you are and why you are the prize, not him. ‘He should be the one who’s nervous, not the other way around’ you assure yourself over and over as a mini ego boost.

His jaw dropped when he spotted you walking up to his car, infatuated by how pretty and perfect you looked in every way possible. It angers him so much to know he took all this for granted, he didn’t appreciate all of you the way he should’ve but now he gets another chance to redo everything and right his wrongs. It’s a lot of pressure but he bravely accepts it, he could never mess up another opportunity like this again. The car ride was fairly silent in the beginning, you were vibing in peace as the only thing you could hear was Minho’s soft indie playlist as background music.

You ultimately chose to be the one to speak first, breaking the ice with a simple inquiry about the date. “So where are we going?” Looking out at the scenery from the window, all you is trees and more trees. If it’s something to do with nature you surely don’t want any parts of it, you’ve never been too fond of the wilderness.

“It’s a surprise, I can’t tell you.” He keeps a tight seal on today’s destination without dropping a single hint, forcing you to go completely blind into this. As he goes back to focus on the road, you sigh anxiously after hearing him refuse to disclose anything.

Did he seriously forget what kind of person you are? Anyone who’s close to you at all knows you’ve never been into those types of things. Ever.

“You know I hate surprises Minho,” you remind him, attempting to pry for more information. Even shooting him a doe eyed look along with poking out your bottom lip, but he doesn’t falter.

He simply nods, “I know but you’ll like this one, just have a little bit of faith me.” Flashing an innocent smile at you, he seems to be overly confident in whatever his plan consists of.

After almost half an hour passes the car finally comes to a stop, you scan the area and instantly notice a sense of familiarity among the place. Across from you was an ice cream parlor you thought didn’t exist anymore. But there it is, still standing with dozens of customers waiting in line. The small shop was famously known for its fish-shaped ice cream cones, you’ve always wanted to visit the place and try it when you were a little from seeing it on TV all the time. When you told Minho about it, you said how your parents would say it was too far but it actually closed down and they didn’t know how to tell you. From time to time you’d still think about that place, but you would’ve never thought they relocated. Being here with Minho brings an indescribable amount of happiness to your spirit.

“I mentioned this place like one time in passing, how’d you even remember?” You wonder in amazement, after all these years he still remembers something as minuscule as this.

“It may not have seemed like it but I paid attention to every little detail you told me ___, all it. Of course I know you don’t like surprises but how else would I have been able to take you here?” He sweetly expresses to you, not wanting to hold back anymore.

You wanted to cry right here, right now. All your emotions came crashing down at once and it’s hard to keep them concealed. A lot has changed within these years, things feel so different with him now, especially with how much he’s matured. You notice how he doesn’t act like the typical fuckboy in his early 20’s anymore, he’s much more interested in getting to know only person — that being you.

“I’ve rehearsed this in my head like a million times and I don’t think I’ll ever say it the right way I want but it’s time I start being as transparent as possible with you…” Minho takes a deep breath before continuing, “I’ve always liked you ___, from the start actually,” he keeps going, “I was just scared, of what I don’t know.. Commitment maybe?”

Slightly looking in another direction, your vision faintly blurs from tears welling up, “I- I honestly don’t know what to say..”

“Then don’t say anything at all, I don’t need you to. I may not know the first thing about how to love someone, but I want to learn all of it with you.” He feels all the remorse of leaving you alone for all these years, unable to process the pain you must’ve endured at him not getting into contact with you. “I’m so sorry ___. For everything, I’m going to make it all better I promise.”

Your eyes subconsciously flutter shut when he comes in contact with you. Connecting in perfect symmetry with your lips to sync together in motion. His gentle hands cupped your face delicately; his touch was so warm and inviting. Your fingers were deeply tangled in his brunette locks, relishing every minute as he tilts his head to capture more of you. He genuinely couldn’t believe he went this long without kissing these luscious lips again. His tongue grazed the bottom of your lip to subtly ask for entry and you comply. Dopamine floods both your senses like a series of fireworks going off, feeling intoxicated by each other’s taste. It was probably that vanilla bean chapstick you always wore— an old favorite of his and is still your go-to flavor of choice. He wanted to savor you in this moment for as long as he could, cherish the fact he has you in his hold again.

“Want to know something funny?” He asks out of nowhere, still smirking from that heated kiss that just happened seconds ago.

“Hm?”

“You’re the reason I ended up coming back here.” Minho states bluntly, no hesitation detected in his voice whatsoever.

You struggle to comprehend anything, overwhelmed by all his sudden confessions. “What do you mean?”

“I mean I never want to leave your side ever again ___. I’m staying here with you, I already made the biggest mistake of losing you once I can’t let the same thing happen twice.” He spoke tenderly from the bottom of his heart, it felt so genuine you couldn’t not believe him.

Going back to rewind time isn’t possible, but “do-over’s” are, and sometimes we’re able to get those second chances to make things right when we get them wrong the first time.

[End <3].

[reiderwriter]

Margaritas and Mistakes

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female Reader

Genre: Fluff, suggestive, smut coming in the next part (it's already written it just felt best to post them separately lmao).

Warnings: Suggestive language, dirty talk, some heavy petting and mention of sexual arousal. 18+ MINORS DNI

Summary: On a group night out, you get a little more drunk than you want to, and when Spencer shows up looking like the love of your life and not just your coworker, you realise that the margarita’s are having more of an effect than they should be.

A/N: Welcome back, it's my week off currently so I've been writing a copious amount of smut, so please enjoy this 3.6k word build up to more smut coming soon. Requests are still open, and you can find my masterlist here!

PART TWO!

You truly made all of your worst decisions when under the influence of alcohol. You blamed it on the fact that you really didn’t get the chance to go out all that often now that you were a full time member of the BAU Team. But the job was sometimes rewarding, and considering you’d been working on consultations all week and not a full time case, you were really looking forward to stretching your legs this friday night and getting some much needed relaxation in before you had to stare evil in the eye one more time.

“Girls’ Night Out! No male detectives, partners, Special Supervisory Agents, Unit Chiefs, OR Doctors!” Penelope cheered as you arrived at her apartment that night prior to your eventful outing.

“God I needed this,” Emily sighed, taking a sip of her drink. “I can’t remember the last time I got to kick back with a glass of chardonnay.”

“You sent me a picture of your drink two days ago, and it didn’t exactly look like water,” JJ laughed.

“Ah you see, my dear JJ, that wasn’t kicking back. That was therapy.”

“Honestly, though, it’s going to be good to get out of the house. I swear, the only places I’ve been for the last month have been my apartment and work,” you sigh, downing the last of the drink Penelope had handed you on the way in.

“What happened to that guy you were seeing, Y/N? Was he that bad?”

“Don’t even mention it. He took me back to his place and he didn’t even have a mattress on the floor, wanted us to do it on his couch,” you groan. “The couch that was also housing all of his laundry. And I’m not positive it was even clean laundry.”

You really had been having the absolute worst luck with men recently; other than your aforementioned tinder date, the only men who had shown any interest in you being serial killers who wanted to murder you and married cops looking to fool around with an FBI agent. Not the most auspicious of dating pools.

“Okay, operation get Y/N laid is a go. Ladies, your jobs tonight, should you choose to accept it, is to become the best wing-women this town has ever seen!” Penelope joked, and you found yourself giggling at just the idea, thankful that they were taking the time to try to cheer you up.

“Oh I’m all in. I’m warning you now, Y/N, my wing-woman success rate is pretty high. I’ve helped multiple couples achieve not only orgasm, but also marriage and kids.” Emily boasted.

“Emily, next time you might want to think about the wording of that one,” JJ laughed. “But I’m in too, you could use a little unwinding.”

“Not you too, JJ. You were supposed to be our voice of reason tonight.” You giggle into your cup, feeling the effect of your starter alcohol already.

“Nope. We’re having no responsible adults in our midst tonight. That’s why I’ve already arranged for our favourite Doctor to come and pick us up when the last of us falls tonight. He’s at a screening of some Indie Russian flick until 2am which is probably about perfect for our plans.”

This is the first you’ve heard of Penelope’s plans, but you’re not against it. With a solid escape route, you can let loose as much as you want tonight and know that all of your friends are fully able to have as much fun as possible tonight.

“Well, that’s the plan for us, sweetcheeks. Maybe you’ll get lucky.” Penelope winked at you with a nefariously innocent look on her face. And suddenly you weren’t quite as sure you trusted her…

–X–

After your first margarita at the bar you were still feeling fine. Sure, you were talking a lot louder than you usually did, and if you saw yourself in the mirror you’d probably start giggling instantly at the stupid, semi-permanent grin on your face, but you were feeling so relaxed that it was of no consequence.

You’d moved swiftly from Penelope’s apartment to the nearest downtown bar. It looked pretty seedy to you, and the lighting was so low you could barely make out the faces of your friends in their seats at the same table as you, but you were sure some of that was just the alcohol blurring your vision.

Your hearing though was still in top shape, which was why when Penelope asked her next question, you almost spit the drink out of your mouth, rushing to laugh.

“Okay, fuck, marry, kill, Hotch, Morgan, Reid.” She giggled as she posed the question to her teammates.

“Oh come on now, that’s not fair.” Emily laughed at the question posed.

“You’re right, I don’t know a woman alive that doesn’t want a ride on my chocolate thunder.” Penelope let out a faux dreamy sigh and took another swig of her drink.

“And marrying Reid just seems wrong. He’s like our brother at this point.” JJ points out, just shuddering at the thought.

“So we’re all in agreement? Fuck Morgan, marry Hotch and lovingly bury Reid six foot under?” Emily laughs and the other two nod.

“Nope,” is all you manage to get out before going for another large gulp of your drink.

“Well, well, well, Y/N what would you be doing differently?” Emily snaps her head around to look at you, eager for the juicy details.

“None of you are curious what the doctor is packing?” You reply, almost innocently, unaware of the many plots culminating in the minds of your friends at that very second.

“Not at all. “Nope.” “That’s pretty gross, actually.” They all seem to reply at once, but Penelope pushes another drink into your hand as soon as you’re done and gets ready to launch a counter-attack.

“Are you curious about it?” She leaves it at that, and if you weren’t so drunk, you’d have seen them all lean into you, desperate for your answer and ready to hang off of your every word. "Do you think about you and him… You know?"

“Every night,” you sigh dreamily. And you’re telling the truth. In the recent months, you’d found yourself waking up a little hot and bothered after some rather steamy midnight encounters with the Good Doctor. You’d become close to him over the few months you’d worked with him as a member of the team, but it wasn’t like you’d had a crush on him or anything. It was more like your body had an unconscious appreciation of his body. Or at least for certain parts of his body.

“His fingers are really nice, you know. And they’re big, too. Just makes a girl curious, s’all.” You down the proffered drink, hiding your remaining shame behind the glass.

“No, no, no babycakes, we’re gonna need more details than that if you’re gonna claim that you want to fuck Reid more than Morgan.” Penelope insisted, more forceful now than before.

“And what exactly does every night mean, Y/N? Something you should be telling us?” JJ wiggled her eyebrows at you and you lost it for a few seconds having a giggling fit.

“Okay, okay, it’s just… You’ve seen how he looks, right? And there was that one case three weeks back. He confronted that accomplice, and when he was about to bolt he slammed him against the wall and held him there like he’d barely broken a sweat. And you know how it is, we see Morgan kicking down doors on the daily, so I thought I wouldn’t be that interested in feats of physical strength, but my only thought in that moment was that I’d rather like him to slam…me…against that …wall.” You slowed down your speech at the end, looking up to see what looked to you like the grinning faces of three wolves staring down at their prey.

“And now I need another drink, anyone up for another round?” You squeaked out, changing the topic before any of the others could make their own comments.

–X–

Your second round of margarita’s was probably where things went irreversibly wrong for you. You’d returned to the table with two rounds of shots for all, having queued up four songs on the ancient jukebox you’d seen in the corner, hoping to entice the girls away from conversation, and it had worked.

After you’d bought the first two rounds, JJ had bought you another, and then Emily had splurged on another three, and then Garcia had rounded the hour out with one more shot, this time with sparklers attached.

So by the time you got back to your table and took a much needed swig of a drink that didn’t have to go down all at once, you were feeling well past drunk, to say the least.

But with the free-flowing alcohol came the lack of inhibition, so you really didn’t care. True to their word, the girls had been doing their best to convince you to dance with some of the guys in the bar since you’d gotten up, but truthfully none of them had enticed you.

But now, the night was running out, and the alcohol had you a bit hot and bothered, so when you felt a nice, hard body press up gently against yours, you decided to take advantage of the situation. Without looking back, you wrapped your hand around the one of his that had grazed your hips and held in there, moving your hips back and forth and beginning to grind back into your mystery man.

He was a little bit still at first, but eventually began making some slow movements along with you, and you could see the others cheering for you from a distance, Emily especially whooping from her perch at the bar.

You felt the voice lean down to your ear after a minute or so, and you tilted your neck up to hear the tall man a little better.

“What are you doing, Y/N?” He whispered against your skin, still letting him guide you through the music. Had you been sober, you’d have realised the voice was more than familiar, especially since he’d said your name, but you were not, and so you did not.

“Well, if you’re lucky, tonight I’ll be doing you?” you giggled back, looking up at the man quickly. But with the hazy lights of the bar and the copious amount of alcohol you’ve ingested, you don’t catch a good enough glimpse of the man to realise he’s your coworker.

“I think you’ve had enough to drink,” he says, when you start to pull him towards the bar, his grip on your hips tightening, accidentally pressing you back into what you expect to be his semi-erect cock, straining against your clothing.

“Oh, what, wanna take me home right now? That’s okay with me, mister.” You giggle, grinding back into him more intentionally this time. You grip his hand and try to force it up to touch more of you, utterly carefree about throwing yourself on what you presume to be a stranger in the middle of a bar.

Before you manage to, however, he lets out a frustrated groan and turns you around by your hips, forcing you to look him in the eye for a little bit longer, and all of your senses finally start working once again.

“Yes, Y/N, we’re going now. Penelope called me 15 minutes ago and said you were ready for that ride home and I can see now that she was right,” Reid leant down so you could hear him enough, but your brain was short circuiting.

You’d been grinding on your coworker. The one that had been the cause of so much of your sexual frustration for the past god knows how long. Spencer was right in front of you, and he hadn’t loosened his grip on you that much. Spencer was right in front of you and his erection was poking into you.

Really, your following actions shouldn’t be held against you in the slightest given the situation.

“Are you going to take me home, Doctor? Lay me down in bed and get me nice and comfortable?” you giggled up at the man, now enjoying the way your insinuations were making him blush.

“Y/N, you’re not being fair. We need to get the others and go,” he shot back, irritation dripping from his tone.

“Oh I’m sorry, am I being a bad girl?”

“You’re certainly being very difficult- what are you doing?” He jolted as you moved your hands to his fair, beginning to play with the curls at the nape of his neck.

“It’s softer than I imagined it would be,” you giggled again, pressing yourself forward to press a kiss against his neck.

“Okay, we need to get you home,” he panicked, grabbing both of your hands, pressing them against your sides, spinning you around and walking you back towards the other girls.

“Hello Spencer~” the girls all giggled as you approached. You struggled against his grip a little, but he kept you firmly in place, man-handling you slightly, and you practically melted into his touch.

“Who let Y/N drink this much? Don’t answer that, you’ve all been drinking the same amount, right?” He left out a frustrated breath, and ran one hand through his hair. You attempted to move again, but he’d practically pinned you to the table. Your hips were pressed into the edge of it, his hips pressed against you, forcing you up against the table in a way that should have been uncomfortable. His other hand was resting near your discarded glass, caging you in almost entirely.

“Cars out front, lets go,” he said, his jaw twitching with anger now.

“No need, lover boy, taxis are coming to pick myself, Penelope and JJ up as we speak,” Emily slurred the words, but got the idea across well enough. “You’ll just be needing to take this little kitten home and you’re done for the night.”

They were all giggling now, as you let out a childlike yay, your excitement evident on your face.

“We’ll wait and see you all off together at least, so outside now. She needs some fresh air or something,” he was practically talking to a wall at that point, but after a few repetitions, the women acquiesced and moved outside.

“Ooh, that’s my taxi, gotta go,” Garcia practically runs from you the moment you step outside, and you wave at her whilst wrapped around one of Reid’s arms, stumbling with each step.

“Use protection my sweet babies,” she shouts as she slams the car door just as her car drives away, leaving a spluttering Spencer unable to respond that he’s not touching you tonight while you’re in this state.

The taxis for Emily and JJ arrive swiftly as well, and the two soon depart with similar messages and soon you find yourself alone with Spencer once again.

“So, your place or mine,” you smirk, looking up at him and batting your eyelashes in the sweetest way you can manage.

“You’re drunk, Y/N, you don’t know what you’re saying.”

“Drunk I may be, Doctor, but I absolutely know what I’m saying. I’m saying I want you to shove me against a wall and finger fuck me until I don’t know how to walk anymore.”

“Goddamnit, Y/N, someone’s gonna hear you.”

“Oh you want me to be quiet? If you take my panties off and push them into my mouth maybe you could shut me up for a few minutes.”

“Get in the car, now.” You stick your tongue out at him, but hop into the passenger seat. He slams the door in your face and takes a few deep breaths before moving around and getting in himself.

–X–

Despite having the window open the entire car journey, hoping that the fresh air will do you some good, you’re still on top form when Spencer pulls up to your apartment.

“I didn’t even give you my address,” you pouted, as you tried, unsuccessfully, to remove your seatbelt.

“I memorised your file, now let’s get you into bed,” he unclasps it for you, and you use the close proximity to drop a kiss on his cheek.

“Only if you get into bed with me, hot stuff,” you wink at him and make for the door. “You know, you’re going to remember everything I said in the morning, right?” You asked him.

“Unfortunately, yes,” he muttered under his breath as he caught you just as you were about to teeter into the hedge on the shared green space. You wrapped your arms around his neck for the second time that night and stopped him in his tracks. Looking deep into his eyes, you took one of your hands and traced it gently over the side of his face and down his neck, your eyes following your fingers. He gulped involuntarily when you hit his adams apple, and you snapped your eyes back to him.

“Chances are that I’m probably not going to remember any of this, right?” You smiled up at him.

“Alcohol induced memory blackouts tend to occur in binge-drinkers whose alcohol levels have hit at least 0.16%, and further studies show that 50% of adults will experience some kind of alcohol-related memory loss in their lives, so yes, I’d say you’re probably not going to remember any of this.” He shot back, almost entirely still in anticipation of your next move.

“Good, then I might as well enjoy the moment while it lasts right.” As soon as the words were out of your mouth, your lips crashed into his, and after a beat, his reciprocated, moving over yours just as hungrily. He moved now, walking you back to your door, lips still locked in a ferocious battle for dominance, until he pinched your arm slightly. You gasped a little, ready to pull back and complain about the pain, but suddenly his tongue was in your mouth and you were back at it all over again. He tapped your legs, signalling that he wanted you to jump into his arms, and you did, wrapping your legs around his centre tightly as he finished making his way to your apartment door.

Pulling away for the briefest of moments, he pulled your keys from your back pocket, and made quick work of your door.

“Bedroom, now Spencer, please I need you,” you whimpered in his arms, pressing kisses against his jaw and neck. Unfortunately, he had other ideas.

“No. We are going to the bathroom, where you’re going to wash your makeup off, brush your teeth and change your clothes, and then you are going to get in bed and sleep.” He unceremoniously dropped you at the door of your bathroom, and you slid to the ground.

Pouting up at him, you felt the tears well in your eyes.

“No! I don’t want to go to bed yet,” you sounded like a petulant child and Spencer cursed a little under his breath when he looked down at you.

“Y/N listen to me very clearly, you’re not thinking straight. You’re way past the legal limit, you can’t consent to any of this and I’m not going to sleep with you and then have you forget it in twelve hours.” His tone was harsh, but you listened to him.

Picking yourself up off the floor, you followed his instructions and got yourself ready for bed.

“Okay, I’m all done now, Doctor,” you grumbled once you were done. You half expected him to have left you there, choosing to retreat whilst you cleaned yourself up, knowing that he’d already done what was asked of him by getting you home. But he was still there perched on your bed, and you made one last attempt to get what you wanted.

As he made his way to stand up, you used the last of your strength to push him back down again and climbed into his lap. This time though, you made no attempt to take anything further, just wrapping your arms and legs around him and burrowing into his shoulder. You had to admit, you were getting particularly sleepy now.

You let out a small yawn and burrowed further into his neck just as he opened his mouth.

“Y/N, please, what are you doing?” He sounded tired now, but didn’t attempt to push you off again.

“You said I was probably not going to remember this in the morning. That’s not going to fly with me. So you’re gonna sleep here with me and tell me everything I forgot in the morning.” You informed him.

He scoffed at you, but you could hear the smile in his voice when he replied.

“So you want me to just sleep here next to you? No pushing you against a wall? No panties in your mouth?”

“Nope. Like you said, ‘s getting pretty late and it’s been a long week, so it's probably for the best if we…” You tried to finish but your tongue was so heavy in your mouth that you just couldn’t use it anymore. You felt the warm rumble of his answering laugh of disbelief as he manoeuvred the two of you under the covers, taking the time to kick off his shoes and remove his coat and shirt.

“Sleep well, Y/N, because when you wake up I’m going to make you feel all of the torment you’ve put me through tonight tenfold.”

And he held you there against his chest as both of you fell deeper and deeper into your slumber.

PART TWO

[atimeofyourlife]

We've met before, it's different now

written for @steddieholidaydrabbles prompt: modern au | rated: t | wc: 995 | cw: mentions/ fear of transphobia | tags: modern au, tinder au, trans steve harrington, transfem steve harrington, trans eddie munson, transmasc eddie munson, pre steddie, first date, t4t steddie Steph is back in Hawkins for the first time since coming out as trans. Robin convinces her to get back on tinder, where she finds Eddie. He's familiar for some reason, but she can't place why

Steph couldn't place how she felt as she laid on Robin's bedroom floor. It was her first time back in Hawkins since coming out. Since her parents had kicked her out, saying that they would never see her as their daughter, she would have to accept her place as their son, the sole Harrington heir. She'd left with Robin for Chicago, where she could reinvent herself. Become the woman she knew she was. But they were back in Hawkins for Christmas, and Joyce and Hopper's wedding, which was happening early in the new year.

Really, she didn't know how to be Steph in Hawkins. Anyone who was unaware of her transition didn't seem to recognize her, even people she'd been friends with in a different time. She'd been right behind Nicole, a girl she'd once dated, in the grocery store. And Nicole turned and looked her straight in the eye and asked if she was new in town. Mark Lewinsky approached her in the parking lot and offered to take her on a date. And every time someone looked at her, she wanted to make herself smaller. To hide away and put on a mask the way she had in order to survive high school.

Now, she was unsure if she wanted to do anything with her time, or to just hide in Robin's room when she wasn't needed elsewhere.

"Come on. I've updated your Tinder profile with new pics and everything. Even if we just sit here and swipe through everyone. But you never know, you might get something out of it." Robin said, dropping onto the floor next to Steph. 

"Fine." Steph rolled her eyes and held her hand out for her phone. She flicked through the photos Robin had chosen. A lot of her favorites, including a thirst trap from the boudoir photo session Robin had gifted her for her birthday, nothing too risque, everything was covered in a bodysuit, but it was a photo that made her feel confident and sexy every time she looked at it. "Okay, lets do it."

The first few were various guys she knew from school, a couple of girls mixed in too. She swiped left on all of them, not that interested. The first one that made her stop wasn't one she was interested in dating. But she was shocked to see Carol Perkins pop up with her interests set to men and women.

"There is no way Carol fucking Perkins is interested in girls." Robin said from where she was looking over Steph's shoulder as she flicked through the photos.

"Tommy's in most of the pictures. I bet they're looking for a third." Steph said, swiping left. "But they know that no self-respecting woman would get into that mess if they knew Tommy was involved, so Carol it is."

"You told me that you had a threesome with them?" Robin asked.

"Yeah, but that was before I knew I was a woman, and at the time I had very little self-respect." Steph replied, and continued swiping.

Robin had got bored of watching Steph swiping through Tinder, so had moved back to her bed to text Vickie. Steph stayed on Tinder, yet to swipe right on anyone, but then one guy caught her eye. A guy with long curly hair, named Eddie. He seemed vaguely familiar, but she couldn't place him. His bio said that he was in a band and played dnd. There was something about him that made her swipe right. She didn't think anything would come from it, and tried not to think on it.

A few hours later, she checked her phone to see a notification from Tinder of there being a match, and Eddie had sent her a message.

Hi. I don't really know what I'm doing with this. I'm back in town for the holidays, and my friends said I should make a profile to try and meet someone. But you are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on.

Steph giggled and blushed at the message. It took her a while to figure out how to respond.

I'm back in town for the holidays as well. My best friend updated my profile for me and said I should start looking even if I swiped left on everyone. You seem pretty cute, and I would love to hear more about this band you play in?

Steph felt that she and Eddie really hit it off, messaging each other for a while everyday. They talked about almost everything, and were even planning a date at Benny's. But Steph couldn't help feeling nervous. What if Eddie couldn't accept her being trans? What if everything went wrong and she got hurt, or outed, or worse?

She decided on a basic outfit, a comfy sweater over jeans. Feeling that anything fancier would make her overdressed for a date at a diner.  She still felt nervous, but she was sharing her location with Robin so someone would know if anything went sour.

On the date with Eddie, everything felt so real. Time seemed to fly by, and they were talking for hours. She found out that he was also living in Chicago, so they could continue to see each other.

"I graduated from Hawkins High three years ago. I hated everyday that I was stuck there " Eddie said.

"You graduated a year after me, but your profile said you're a year older than me?" Steph asked, frowning. She still couldn't place him.

"I uh. I got held back a couple times. Shit happened. It was a hard time for me."

"I feel like I should know you, but I don't remember you from school."

"The thing is, I've not always been Eddie." He said, looking nervous. "I had a different name, and I looked a lot different too."

It took a moment for Steph to realize what he was implying. "That's okay. I get it, because I've not always been Steph."

[heeseungwifey]

Does Layla need a mom?

pairing: jake x y/n

warning: contains smut!

It’s a chilly night so I’ve decided to go for some thighs with my mini skirt. I wish I could just ignore the cold for my Tinder date tonight but I should put my health first. I’m meeting a new guy called Jake, by his profile I know he’s 21, has gorgeous lips and a dog. That’s all I’m looking for in a man these days, someone I can have fun with. 

I order an Uber and go down the stairs, already kinda late for the reservation at the fancy Italian restaurant where we’re having our date. He made the reservation a week ago, he swears it’s the best food I’ll try in town. I get in the Uber and send him a message.

“Sorry, I'll be a few minutes late, traffic!” I sent it as the Uber driver was waiting on a red light. 

“No worries, I’m already here. I hope you do show up and not leave me stranded haha” Jake sends a smiley emoji and I get he’s nervous about this date too. We’ve been talking for a few weeks, friendly but also quite flirty, some texts getting borderline sexting. I’ve been trying not to overthink about how this night could end, but the thought of getting into this man’s bed has kept me zoning out since he asked me out. 

“Here it is lady, have a good night!” I get out of the car and thank the Uber driver, getting into the restaurant as fast as I can so I don’t ruin my hair in the rain. when I walk in, I scan the room to look for Jake, quickly spotting him at the end of the restaurant. He’s wearing a leather jacket, his hair pushed back and a neck chain, looking so good I almost got embarrassed to approach him. It would have been too late to escape since he already saw me, getting up and shaking his hand in the air so I could see him. 

“Hello! Wow you look gorgeous y/n” Jake kisses me on the cheek and I get to smell his perfume, manly and sexy. I sit down and take a sweet time to appreciate how he looks, admire his tan skin, his big nose, his beautiful smile and his hands, wishing that those would be touching me in a couple of hours. He’s doing the same as me, scanning me from head to toe with a sultry stare.

“You look really good too Jake, I’m kind of surprised you’re just not wearing basketball shorts or a striped shirt” I joke since in all his pictures on Instagram he’s wearing one of these two clothing pieces, even both of the same time sometimes. He looks ridiculously gorgeous tonight. 

“Well I have to show off for tonight, need to make a good impression”

“Sure you are”

Dinner was fantastic, everything was delicious and we talked all the time we were sitting there as if we had known each other since forever. Jake had come with his car so he offered to take me home. I felt uncomfortable asking to go to his house even though I really wanted to, so I made an excuse to be with him for a little bit more. 

“I know a cool bar right around here, would you like to go? Let’s not end the date just yet” I looked up on Google Maps a bar next to his house just to hang out there for a bit, have a drink and see where the night took us. The next thing I know is that each of us has drunk at least 3 cocktails and it’s almost 2 a.m.

“My house is quite close to this bar, if you want to crash, I know I said I would take you home but I don’t think I can drive right now, a uber right now is gonna be impossible to find” Jake has his arm around my shoulders, his hair messy and he had to take his jacket off because of how hot he was. His house is a 15-minute walk away, which helps us get refreshed as we get to his door. 

“Here we are, welcome to my house!” Jake opens the door and a modern and minimalist decor fills my sight. it’s obvious it’s a single man’s house by the posters and figurines he has but it’s done with good taste, giving a personal touch.

“Omg is this Layla? you’re so pretty and fluffy!” Jake’s dog approaches me right as I walk in, excitedly shaking her tail and giving little jumps. He has previously talked about her dog at the restaurant, showing me pictures of her as a puppy and all. 

“She seems to like you, I don’t often see her this excited” Jake closes the door and takes his jacket off, hanging it on the entrance coat rack. He gets behind me and grabs my bag and my coat, hanging it as well. 

“It’s kinda crazy that I’m staying at your house, I don’t know what you’re gonna think of me” I say as a joke but deep down I do want to give him a good impression and as much as I would love to rip his clothes off right now, 

“It's kind of stupid If I thought anything bad about you y/n. I hope you know I’m very excited that you’re here right now. Just knowing we get to be a few more minutes together is already giving me a rush”

I look at him and he’s standing there, looking so handsome in this light, the air feeling heavy. I move to the sofa, sitting there first as he follows me around inside his own house. He turns on the TV and we’re sitting there like dummies, watching whatever is on. I am nervous, the expectation growing more and more each second. 

“what the hell are we doing?” Jake says as he’s getting closer to me, facing me as I’m resting my back on the couch. When he’s just inches away from my lips, Layla jumps on the sofa, right in between us. 

“Layla! you scared me, fuck” Jake moves to the other side of the sofa, being attacked by Layla’s kisses. I laugh from the other side, the view so endearing I almost forgot he’s just a Tinder date and this will end soon.

“Do you want me to lend you some clothes to sleep in? A T-shirt and some shorts perhaps?” Jake is standing right in front of me, waiting for my answer, looking for an excuse to get out of Layla’s insistence. 

“yes, thank you! where’s the bathroom by the way? I need to take my make-up off” I get up fast as he walks to his bedroom to pick up the clothes. 

“It’s here, hold on… let me give you the clothes so you can change. I also have make-up remover in the cabinet” Jake rumbles around his closet and comes back with a white t-shirt with a logo on it and some Nike shorts, handing them to me. 

When I finished changing and getting my make-up off I glanced at myself in the mirror. I look so bare in this look, just how I would look at the solitude of my own house. It’s kinda crazy that this is how I choose to show myself in front of my date, who I have known for just a few hours. I guess Jake has something that just makes me blindly trust him. 

As I’m coming out of the bathroom I hear the TV, the volume turned down so it’s low. When I walk into the living room, Jake is lying on the couch with a tight t-shirt and grey sweatpants. Layla lies right next to him, looking adorable with her fluffy fur. He looks a bit sleepy but as I walk into his sight, he opens his eyes and gets up. 

“Do you want to watch a movie or something? I don’t sleep too much so I always stay up late watching TV. Right now there’s this 50’s romantic movie, I don’t know if you would like it” Jake looks at me as I’m standing there, his eyes trying not to look at my nipples, visible through the t-shirt he gave me. I’m also quite careful not to get caught looking at his bulge, way too noticeable in those sweats.

“I don’t care really, it’s just background noise to me” I say as I’m sitting next to him, he grabs my hands and pulls me in between his legs. His big hands hold mine as he looks at me in the eyes, the TV light illuminating his face in a beautiful blue. He looks mesmerizing, so much so that I can’t hold myself any longer and I kiss him. His sweet, plump lips capture mine with the same intensity as mine, gasping for air every time we separate. 

Jake grabs the back of my thighs and sits me on his lap, his hands groping my ass and massaging it. I feel an overwhelming heat on my cheeks, all the pent-up neediness flowing out from us. He wanted this as much as I did. It’s surreal a man like this would want me so bad. 

“Baby, let’s go to the bedroom” Jake says in between kisses as he picks me up from his lap and takes me to his bedroom. I’m not thinking about anything else right now but his lips, his hands and the burning pain I’m feeling in my groin, growing worse each second I feel no relief. 

When we get to the bedroom, Jake throws me onto the bed, closing the door behind him. The bedroom is nicely decorated, filled with blue and wood. Seeing the details of how he chooses to decorate his house gives me more knowledge about him, filling in the gaps of the missing info I have about him. As I’m laying there, he moves swiftly to the side of the bed, where he turns on a bedside lamp. Lights on tonight I guess. 

“Tell me what you like baby, I’m all ears” Jake is standing right at the feet of the bed, in front of me lying in his bed. Many dirty thoughts go through my head, and I could ask for many favours. I don’t have words to describe how bothered I am by his presence, getting hornier with every second he spends waiting for me to voice my desires. 

“take your t-shirt off, slowly. And then take mine” I ask, not much but just enough for now. Jake doesn’t say a word, he just follows. Grabs the hem of his t-shirt and peels it off, showing his defined abs and honey skin. His hair is messy now and his eyes are fixed on the t-shirt he lent me, planning on taking it off as soon as possible. From where he stands he grabs my ankles and pulls me to the edge of the bed, my feet touching the floor and sitting there like a doll. His hands are placed on my waist under the t-shirt, caressing my body as he pushes it up, arms up and for a second I get struck when I get to see his face again, both of us semi-naked and getting more and more desperate for what’s about to happen. 

“Tell me, princess, what else do you want me to do?” Jake is almost touching my lips with his, the kiss from before hitting my mind and leaving me desperate for another one. I pull him by his neck onto my lips, clashing hard as we lay on the bed, him on top of me. As we are kissing, his hand snakes up to the pants that I’m wearing, pulling them slowly, leaving me completely naked. I waste no time and do the same to him, unsuccessfully though. He stops me and breaks the kiss, taking them off himself. My sight is indescribable, his naked body bathed by the warm light of the lamp and desire burning in his eyes. 

My hands travel from his shoulders to his hip bone, feeling the softness of his skin and his body heat. I touch his member, now hard and red, and Jake hisses at the feeling. I give it slow strokes, enjoying how his eyebrows stitch up and his mouth can only moan and whimper just cause of my touch. As I start going faster, he falls on his back on the bed, giving me full access to now suck him off. I get on top of him and slowly start with my tongue, tiny licks to the top and getting my saliva all around it. When it’s covered I put it all in my mouth, bottom it thanks to Jake pushing my head all the way down. He’s grabbing the back of my head, trying to regain some control over the situation but he’s very obviously gone. When he starts whining and whimpering I know he’s right there, going faster. He tries to stop me but fails miserably, cumming all in my mouth and face. 

“wow, you’re going strong y/n, I don’t know if I can keep up with you” he lays there breathing heavily as I’m cleaning my face, his sight lost on the ceiling. “Well the ball’s on your court now, how are you gonna pay me for the best blowjob you’ve received in your entire life?” I say cockily as I get close to his face. His eyes look at me, foggy and lost in lust and suddenly I see a spark in them, knowing instantly he has gotten an idea on how he’s gonna pay me. 

“Sit on my face, you’ve won it” Jake grabs my leg and gets it on the other side of his body, now I’m straddling his ribcage. His hands push me by my hips closer to his head, my hands grabbing the headboard so I don’t fall. I can feel Jake’s warm breath on my pussy, his plump lips just inches away from my heat. I feel his wet tongue first, circling around my clit and giving kitten licks as I’m desperately trying to not sit down on his head and choke him. When he starts using his tongue, lapping my folds with hunger I can’t control my sounds any longer and start moaning like I’m possessed. His lips feeling so good and skillfully mixing his mouth with two fingers I come fast on his face, losing all my strength and falling back onto the bed with his head still between my legs. A few minutes pass and I feel Jake getting up and moving my body by my ankles, placing me in the middle of the bed. 

“Did that feel good baby? I’ve never seen anyone react like that… it was so hot I also came with you, twice tonight already. And I haven’t even been inside you yet” Jake’s hair looks messy and sexy, especially knowing it’s because of our recent activities. His lips are even plumper if possible and a layer of sweat covers his chest and abs. I sit up and touch his body instinctively, caressing his hip bone and looking at him in the eyes. 

“Bend over baby” his strong arms flip me over, getting me on all fours. His eyes went straight to my drenched and pulsating pussy, placing himself right on my entrance. “Mhmm, it felt so good Jake…fuck I can’t take it any longer, please… just fuck me already”

He moves slowly, for a second unsure if he should be doing this, but when he stretches me so good that I moan loudly, his movements go crazy, railing me like an animal, his hair all stuck to his forehead and his eyes shut, trying to keep up with the pace. He bites his fist but is to no avail as moans just escape from his mouth, his movements going erratic and losing focus. I feel the bed move like it’s gonna break, my moans have become screams at this point and I’m lost in the feeling, my hair all over my face and sweat sticking the sheets onto my body. 

“Jake, Jake, I’m going to… I can’t hold it anymore… I’m gonna…” can’t even say a whole sentence, the feeling not letting me think properly as all I feel like the heat in my tummy is gonna explode at any second. 

“Do it, c’mon baby, I want to see you come on my dick, let it go…” Jake takes one of his hands to my clit, massaging it and making me come in seconds. I lose sight for a second, everything is blurry as I hear Jake moan loudly, coming inside me and falling on top of me. His head on my chest, I hug his head as we both recover our breaths, the moment feeling so intimate I can’t stop myself from giving him a kiss on the forehead.

I’m pretty sure we fell asleep like that for like fifteen minutes, hugging each other as all we had was each other’s body heat to keep warm. I wake up by the sound of scratching on the bedroom door, obviously being Leyla waiting for his owner to give her food. Jake gets up from top of me and walks to the door, closing it behind him as soon as Leyla starts jumping excitedly. I’m left there quite sad, missing how close we were just a few seconds ago. 

“Hey, sorry, I forgot to put water in Leyla’s bowl before and she was quite thirsty. But hey, I just turned the water on, do you want to take a bath? It’s probably hot by now” Jake is sitting on the border of the bed, caressing my tummy as I’m still too tired to get up. I look at him and feel a sense of dreadness, I don’t wanna lose whatever we have right now between each other. Leaving his house today could mean this is over, that we’re just a one-night stand for each other and that’s it.

I take his hand and he lifts me up from the bed, lending me a bathrobe so I don’t get cold on the way to the bathroom. when we get there, there’s a few candles lighten up and the whole room smells like lavender, calming and cozy. 

“Get in the bathtub, I’ll prepare some towels for when we get out” I step inside the bathtub, the warm water soothing my body from the intense workout. Jake gets into the bathtub and we’re sitting there looking at each other, just like we were at the restaurant earlier. I almost feel like crying, so I close my eyes and push my head back to rest on the wall.

“Are you good? you look super tired” Jake asks, but I don’t feel like answering right now or my voice will break. So he sits there, reaching for my hand and worried I’m actually in pain. But the pain it’s not physical, and I wish he had just let me go to my house by taxi today. I feel like shit right now, enjoying the last minutes of the most beautiful date I’ve ever been on. 

“Did I do something wrong? Are you hurt anywhere?” His tone was serious and worried, his eyes fixated on my face. I open my eyes and it’s obvious that I’m on the verge of tears, my eyes watery and red. 

“It’s okay, I’m just a bit tired, today has been a long day for me” 

“I don’t believe you, I don’t think that’s what’s happening. You looked so happy a few minutes ago coming on my dick, and now you’re tired? Do you think I’m gonna believe that? Please tell me what’s going on”

Jake sounds mad at me, scared that now everything’s done I’m acting so cold towards him. I can’t tell him the truth, it is so embarrassing and delusional that I might scare him off. 

“It’s okay Jake, I just need to go home and sleep a little bit. I had fun don’t be mistaken, but I think is time I go back to my bed and keep on going with my life” I come off as a bitch, looking for a way out of this conversation that was gonna end by me ridiculizing myself in front of the hottest man I know. If I give him the idea that I’m always up for something casual I might get to see him again. 

“I don’t know what the fuck has happened for you to say this, but if you want to sleep here I have no issue with it if that’s what you’re worried about. I thought we had a great time tonight, maybe I’ve been a bit rough or you didn’t feel comfortable with me… I don’t know if you’re under the impression that I have used you to have sex but you couldn’t be more mistaken”

There’s an uncomfortable silence, the only sounds being the distant sound of the TV in the living room and Leyla walking around the house outside the bathroom door. I look at him and his eyes are lost, a hundred thoughts going through his head, trying to find where it went wrong tonight.

“It’s not that I didn’t like it, I actually hadn’t had this much fun in a long time. I guess I’m a bit sensitive since it was a bit too… intimate. Like, this is just a hookup, I shouldn’t be feeling this way about what we have done but… I wish It had meant more for the both of us”

“Listen y/n, it’s been a long time since I’ve gone on a date. I was very excited to go with you tonight since I thought we had great chemistry on our back-and-forth texts. I do feel different about you than I have felt about any other woman I have talked to on that damn app…”

I look at him and his arms are resting on each side of the bathtub, his skin glistening and a perfect view of his chest. It makes me crave for a hug in the comfort of his embrace. 

“I like you more than I thought I would so early into knowing each other. I have enjoyed this night with you so much that’s gonna screw me up forever, being honest” I confess, my head turned to the wall so I don’t see his reaction to such a statement. 

I don’t have to look at him, his arms grabbing mine and getting me closer to him. His lips on mine, so fierce and hungry, I’ve lost control of the situation and now I’m just being french kissed as water splashes everywhere, my legs on each side of his lap.

“Me too…  I felt like a dumbass, being so intense… I don’t wanna let you go, ever” his kisses move to my neck and chest, and my hands can’t do much but hold his hair on my fist as I try not to moan too loudly at 4 a.m.

The next morning I lay there, on his bed. The sheets are everywhere, victims of our last night endeavours. A subtle smell of coffee and toasted bread comes into the bedroom, getting me up instantly and wandering to the kitchen. 

There he is, early morning with wet hair from the shower and a clean black t-shirt and grey sweatpants. Layla runs around the kitchen, excited about her breakfast just as I am. When I walk into his vision, Jake looks at me with the brightest smile and comes to hug me, kissing my head and caressing my back. 

“Good morning baby, did you rest well?” his warmth irradiating through his t-shirt and feeling incredibly comforting.

“Yeah I did, I haven’t slept this well in a long time” I snuggle on his chest, his arms reaching for the frypan and moving it aside, so the scrambled eggs don’t burn. 

When we’re done with the breakfast, a long silence between us arises. It’s comfortable but at the same time, it scares me that it'll make us talk about our feelings. Thankfully Layla jumps on my lap, wanting to play with me. If this ends I’m also gonna miss her and I just met her. 

“Damn, Layla has never acted like this with anyone before, it’s crazy… She likes you a lot. It's just like she has accepted you’re her mom or something haha” Jake says, fascinated by how his dog is acting towards a total stranger to her, like she has known me since forever.  

“So… does Layla need a mom?”

“Yeah, her dad needs a mom too” Jake looks at me and we start laughing, filling the house with the sound of our laughter, the smell of toast and a happy Layla, who gets to have a mom from that day on.

[wanders-in-wonderland]

First Date

The first thought I had when I saw him was that he looked even better than his profile. We’d matched on Tinder, and after a few days of messaging back and forth, we’d agreed to have a first date. He’d suggested a new restaurant in our area and he was even sweet enough to drive all the way across town to my apartment to pick me up.

Dinner was lovely, the food and drinks amazing and the conversation even better. He was charming and funny and I don’t remember when I’d been so at ease on a first date.

After dinner, he drove me back to my apartment and we sat in his car, still talking and laughing nonstop. I turn to him and shyly ask if he’d want to come up to my apartment for some coffee or dessert. I’m usually not one to invite guys over at night but everything about him has been so perfect and I’m reluctant to let this night end. He smiles and agrees, and we head in up to my apartment.

We’re laughing as we get to my door and I unlock it to let us in. “I’m sorry, it’s a bit of a mess, I wasn’t expecting to bring someone over so I didn’t have a chance to tidy up,” I say, looking around my space before looking up at him.

He smiles at me, but suddenly his expression changes to something sinister. Before I can process the change, he grabs me by the throat and slams me against the door I’d just shut and locked. I cry out, mostly from shock than pain, but his hand cracks across my face, the slap stunning me.

“Shut the fuck up, slut. I’ve been so patient with you all night, listening to your stupid little stories and laughing with you about your dumb little life when all I want is for you to shut up.” He snarls into my ear and I whimper in response, “I don’t understand, please stop! I’m sorry, I thought we were having a good time!”

“Oh this is about to be a good time,” he laughs darkly as he uses his body to pin mine even harder against the door. I let out a soft sob, feeling the hard outline of his cock press against my stomach. I push against him desperately and he hardly moves. In one swift movement, he grabs both my wrists in one hand and pins them above my head, leaving my body stretched out and exposed.

“Please stop, I’m sorry, we never have the see each other again!” I beg him, wanting him to just let me go and leave. His grip on my wrist tightens and his other hand comes up to cup my tits. “Oh no, I’m sure we’ll be seeing lots more of each other,” he says, the dark promise sending shivers down my spine.

His fingers brush over my nipple, the feeling making me gasp even though it’s over my clothes and bra. I wince a little, remembering how I’d even put on a sexy, lacy matching set in preparation for the date. He lets his hand trail downwards, and he slides it under my dress, gripping my thigh.

“Keep your legs apart for me or I’m going to be much meaner to you, slut.” His hand comes to cup my pussy and I whine softly, shaking my head desperately. He lets out a dark chuckle when he realizes that I’m drenched and my panties are soaked.

“Little slut, look at how your dripping for me. It looks like the idea of getting violated on your first date is exciting your cunt.” He doesn’t give me a chance to respond, not that I have anything to say to that. His fingers deftly slide under my panties and part my folds as one finger pushes into my pussy, my wetness offering him no resistance whatsoever. I gasp and let out a broken moan as the feeling overwhelms me.

His finger starts to move as a second one finds my clit and begins a relentless assault on my throbbing button. I can’t help but groan as the pleasure builds and I can feel my hips thrusting upwards, chasing the pleasure he’s forcing onto me. I want to hate it but it feels so good and I can feel myself being pushed toward an orgasm. He knows it too.

"Good little slut, I know how much you like this. Look at you, you're about to cum all over my fingers after just telling me how you didn't want any of this." He works his fingers faster, adding another inside of me as he curls upwards to rub my g-spot, making my knees buckle as my moans become even louder. I shouldn't want this, I shouldn't be moaning loud enough for my neighbors to hear, and I definitely shouldn't be able to cum right now.

"Come on, cum for me, slut. Cum for your rapist," he growls into my ear and I explode. I arch my back and wail as my orgasm rushes over me, my pussy clenching around his fingers and my clit pulsing in time to my heartbeat. He works me through my orgasm as my body goes limp against the wall.

He finally pulls his hand away and I watch through half-lidded eyes as he brings his hand up to his mouth and licks his fingers. I watch him pull off his belt and unbuckle his pants. "Get on your knees, slut," he says, pulling me harshly towards the floor. I sniff back tears as I lower myself down, feeling the hardwood of my entry way dig into my knees. He grabs my face, "Open that slutty little mouth."

I do as he says and he smiles. I watch as he reaches into his pants and pulls out his long, hard cock. I whimper softly, unconsciously rubbing my thighs together and feeling saliva collect in my mouth. His cock is gorgeously thick, veined, long, and so hard. I can't imagine how he'll fit fully into my mouth but before I can think about it too much, he slips the head of it between my lips.

"If you even think about using your teeth, I will choke the life out of you," he says as he thrusts deep into my mouth. He isn't slow or nice or gentle. His cock hits the back of my throat and tears well up in my eyes as I gag around him. He doesn't care as he sets a punishing pace, thrusting into my mouth while I can barely breathe. He groans above me, "Fuck, your little mouth is much better on my cock that it is spouting your stupid stories."

I choke around his cock, feeling it enter deeper into my throat. Eventually, I find a rhythm, bobbing my head in time with his thrusts and drawing in gasps of air in between each one. I can feel my pussy clenching emptily and my clit throbbing. His cock feels so good in my mouth, and I can't help but wonder how fast he could make me cum with it in my cunt.

I hear his groans change in pitch, and I know he's close. My previous rhythm is lost when his hips speed up and he grabs a fistful of my hair in one hand. He thrusts his cock deeper into my throat and he cums. My throat works to swallow all of his cum as I feel his hips stop moving. His cock is still hard as he pulls away, a string of my spit clinging on as he backs away from me slightly.

"Fuck, you're a perfect little cocksucker." He leans against my apartment door briefly as I sit back on my heels, giving my knees a break and looking up at him. "Please, just leave, you got what you wanted," I beg, still clinging on to unfounded hope and whatever dignity I had left. He laughs, "Oh no, little slut, I'm not even close to getting what I want, and we are far from done. By the time I finish, you won't want me to leave."

"Turn around and get on your hands and knees," he says, pushing off the door and coming to kneel next to me. I feel my heart drop, knowing that he's going to fuck my cunt next and there's nothing I can do to stop him. He grabs my hair, and shoves my head down, "I said on your hands and knees, you slut."

I whine at the pain in my scalp and my arms come to catch myself before I fall face-first into the floor. He's behind me now and I crane my neck, trying to keep him in my eyeline. I feel him flip the skirt of my dress up, revealing my damp panties that he yanks down to my knees. Suddenly, I feel his hand come crashing down on my ass, pain shooting through me as he spanks me hard. I cry out and he spanks me a second time, just as hard.

"Little sluts that get wet and cum for their rapists deserve to be treated like this," he says and I feel my face flush with humiliation. He spanks me several more times, each time forcing a sob from my lips. Then, I feel him press against me and I feel the tip of his cock nudge my pussy lips.

"Wait no! Please stop!" I wail desperately, my begging ending in a scream as he ignores me and slams deep into my cunt. I feel my pussy flutter around his cock, my wetness making his violation of my body seamless and effortless. His cock feels so good inside of me, his thickness splitting me open in the best way, and I feel the head of his cock push up against my g-spot, making me see stars. This time, he's nice enough to give me a moment to adjust before he starts.

His starts thrusting deep and fast, not letting me do anything except feel. I can hear the wanton sounds coming from my mouth and the lewd sound of my pussy clenching around his cock. I'm too far gone to care about anything other than the pleasure that is radiating from my core. One of his hands is on my hip, holding me still and the other one wraps around my hair, pulling my head up to make my back arch. I'm moaning, whimpering, and screaming out in pleasure and I can feel my orgasm rapidly approaching.

"That's it, slut. You're taking my cock so fucking well. I'm going to make you cream all over my cock, cum on your rapists cock, you dirty little slut." He growls into my ear as his hand leaves my hip to travel down to pluck at my clit. I scream louder in response as the combined pleasure peaks in an all-consuming orgasm. My cunt is clenching hard on his cock and I hear him groan deeply in response.

I'm still cumming when I hear him curse behind me, "I'm going to cum in your cunt, take your rapist's cum, you fucking slut." I feel his thrusts stutter and his hot cum floods my pussy. My cunt is still fluttering around him and I'm delirious with pleasure and exhaustion as I feel him pull out of me, leaving me empty and wanting. He lays me down gently on the floor and lies down next to me, draping an arm over my waist as he props his head up on one arm. I blink up at him blearily and smile a little.

He grins and leans in for a soft kiss. "So, when's our second date?"

I smile and press myself against him, "How about you stay the night and we figure that out tomorrow morning?"

--

Idea Credit to @thighsquivering

[wannabehockeygf]

calgary - matthew tkachuk

part of the think later fic series

“I’m drunk, oh wow,

All my habits came back around.”

***

this has two parts!

part 2

***

request: “could you do calgary with matty tkachuk?? maybe something fluffy, and him being overprotective?”

summary: an attempt to relive your highschool glory days turns into a night of drunken confessions.

word count: 7k

pairing: matthew tkachuk x fem!reader

warnings: alcohol, unnamed pills

notes:

- ty for requesting! fun to write! keep ‘em coming <3

- ^ you guys already knew your girl had to go all out for her hometown, because calgary natives fuck it up the best!

- the plot is basically the lyrics of the song

- some friends to lovers because it makes me feel so lonely and I have to make y’all suffer too

- not super proof read

***

At some point in every Calgary native’s life, those wild, reckless nights of stumbling down Stephen Avenue after too many shots morph into something that feels suspiciously like maturity—like finding yourself sipping ritzy, overpriced cocktails on Seventeenth at six-something pm, wondering when your life turned into a scene from a yuppie rom-com.

The moment you realized this was your new reality, you spiraled. The “Oh my god, I’m so old, I can’t have fun anymore” pit of despair opened up beneath you, and you were falling fast. You had your shit together—no, scratch that, you have your shit together. You’re a bona fide adult. But still, you can’t help but yearn for the glory days of sneaking into clubs with a fake ID at fifteen, batting your lashes at some guy named Jason in a cowboy hat just to get him to buy you a drink.

But then, just as you’re about to spiral further, you remember tonight’s mission. Matthew, one of your closest friends, is back in town. The guy is practically a legend in your life—a hockey player sent off to South Florida but always makes his way back to Calgary for Stampede. You met him in the most random way—some Tinder date with a different Flames prospect gone awry. Who could have guessed that a failed date would lead to one of the most solid friendships of your life?

Matthew is that rare breed of guy—fun, charming, and completely non-threatening in the “someone’s gonna catch feelings” department. At least, that’s what you’ve always told yourself. But let’s be honest, there’s something about him that’s always felt…different. You’ve sworn up and down that, it’s not you, that you’re just friends, but there’s always that little nagging thought in the back of your mind. Could there be more? Should there be more?

Nah, you shake it off. Tonight isn’t about overthinking. Tonight is about channeling your inner fifteen-year-old, if only for a few hours. You’re on a mission to relive the glory days, and Matthew—well, he’s the perfect partner in crime.

The pulsating bass of the club thunders through your veins, the kind of beat that makes your heart race and your feet move, even if you didn’t want them to. But you do. Oh, do you ever. You’re dancing like you’re possessed, limbs flailing in a way that’s somewhere between “I just got electrocuted” and “I’ve been training for this moment my entire life.” You’re definitely more of a mosh pit person than a rhythmic dancer, but tonight, it’s all about the vibe, not the technique.

The lights are flashing wildly, casting everyone in an array of colors—red, blue, green, pink. It feels like you’re inside a kaleidoscope, everything spinning and twirling and making your head buzz in the most exhilarating way. The crowd is a sweaty mess of bodies, a hotbed of random hookups and questionable dance moves, but you’re right there in the middle of it, soaking it all in like the club’s ambiance is your life source.

“Another one?” someone yells over the music, thrusting a shot glass in your face. You don’t even see who it is, but hey, free alcohol is free alcohol. You down it in one go, the burn of the tequila (or is it vodka? Who even knows at this point) sliding down your throat and settling warmly in your belly.

You’re officially shitfaced. You can’t even remember how many shots you’ve had, but counting stopped being a priority after the third one. Or maybe it was the fourth. Whatever. You’re having fun—so much fun that you’ve completely lost track of time. How long have you been here? Is it still tonight? Did you miss Matthew’s arrival?

No, you tell yourself. There’s no way you could miss him. Matthew Tkachuk is not the kind of person who goes unnoticed, even in a crowded club like this. He’s the kind of guy who walks into a room and makes heads turn, who laughs so loudly you can hear him over any DJ set. You’d know if he was here.

Still, a small part of your brain—a part that isn’t totally soaked in alcohol—reminds you of tonight’s mission. You try to channel your inner teenager, that reckless, carefree girl who did whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted. And right now, what you want is to dance. And maybe make out with someone. Or eat a greasy cheeseburger. The list is long, okay?

It’s in this haze of euphoria that you notice him—a man with a slicked-back ponytail that’s trying too hard to be edgy but just comes off as greasy. He slides up next to you, his cologne almost as overpowering as his confidence. You give him a half-hearted smile, not really paying attention, too busy reveling in your own carefree abandon.

“Hey,” he shouts over the music, leaning in too close, his breath warm against your ear. “You want something to really get the night going?”

You blink, trying to focus on his words through the fog of alcohol. His hand is outstretched, palm up, and there, sitting innocuously in the center, are two little pills. Your mind stumbles, trying to catch up with the situation. Pills? Like, drugs? The room seems to tilt slightly, the strobe lights throwing everything into sharp, disorienting relief.

The room seems to spin faster as you stare down at the tiny pills in the man's hand. They look so innocent, like candy, but you know better. Your brain, soaked in alcohol and barely clinging to reality, tries to do the math. Pills equal bad. Very bad. But you're also floating on a cloud of recklessness, and there's a small voice in your head whispering that maybe, just maybe, these little white ovals could make the night even crazier.

You can't quite decide if that's what you want or if you're just drunk enough to think it's what you want. Your vision blurs, the man’s face morphing into a smudge of colors and cologne. He leans in closer, his greasy ponytail brushing your cheek like a wet mop. “Come on,” he urges, his voice slicing through the booming bass, “just one, for old time’s sake.”

Old times? You’re pretty sure you’ve never seen this guy in your life. But then again, you’re also pretty sure you saw a unicorn prancing through the dance floor five minutes ago, so who knows what’s real at this point?

Just as you're about to reach for the pills—because why not?—you feel a hand grip your arm, firm and unmistakable. You whirl around, nearly losing your balance, and there he is: Matthew Tkachuk, your knight in a tight-fitting black tee that clings to his shoulders like a second skin. Even in your drunken haze, you can tell he’s pissed. Like, really pissed.

You’d seen him mad before, like that time when someone cut him off on the Deerfoot trail and he laid on the horn for so long that you thought it would get stuck that way—or, that one time when a ref made a call that had him throwing his helmet at the glass, shattering it. This feels so different, especially since he just got here.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Matthew’s voice is like a thunderclap over the music, his eyes narrowing at the greasy-haired guy who suddenly looks a lot less confident. There’s something about Matthew when he’s angry—a fierce, protective energy that’s as magnetic as it is intimidating. He’s not the tallest guy in the room, but he doesn’t need to be. He’s Matthew Tkachuk, for god’s sake.

You blink, trying to process the scene. This isn’t the carefree, dancing-like-you’re-on-fire vibe you were going for. This is… something else entirely. The man with the pills tries to pull a sneer, but it’s more of a grimace. “Hey, man, just offering her a good time,” he slurs, attempting to puff up his chest in a way that’s more pathetic than threatening.

Matthew’s grip on your arm tightens, and you can feel the tension radiating off him like a furnace. “Yeah, well, she’s not interested,” he snaps, stepping between you and the guy, effectively cutting off your view of the man’s greasy face.

And for a moment, you’re glad. You’re glad Matthew’s here, glad he’s taking charge, glad he’s keeping you from making a possibly life-altering mistake. But then, that little rebellious streak in you flares up. Who is he to tell you what to do? You’re a grown-ass woman, a bona fide adult, remember? You don’t need a babysitter.

You yank your arm out of Matthew’s grasp, wobbling slightly as you do so. “I can handle myself,” you mutter, more to yourself than to him. It sounds stronger in your head, but the words come out slurred and weak. Matthew’s eyes flicker with something—concern, frustration, maybe a mix of both.

“Yeah, it sure looks like it,” he says dryly, and even in your intoxicated state, you can catch the sarcasm. You want to snap back, say something witty and sharp, but your brain is moving in slow motion, and the words get tangled in your throat.

The greasy-haired guy takes a step back, clearly not wanting to get into it with Matthew. “Whatever, man. Just trying to help,” he says, holding up his hands in mock surrender. “Who even are you, anyway?”

Matthew steps forward, blocking your view of Ponytail Guy entirely. The energy in the air shifts from fun and carefree to something sharp and heavy. The club’s lights seem harsher now, flashing in sync with the tension bubbling between them. Matthew is all broad shoulders and clenched fists, the muscles in his neck taut like he’s seconds away from doing something reckless.

And as for you? You’re swaying slightly, blinking like you’re trying to remember where you are—or maybe why you’re here in the first place. The tequila haze is doing you no favors, and all you can focus on is how intensely Matthew is glaring at Ponytail Guy. It’s like watching a lion size up a gazelle, except you’re the one caught in the crossfire.

“Who am I?” Matthew’s voice drops, low and dangerous, a tone you’ve only ever heard him use when talking about losing a game he should’ve won. “I’m the guy who’s about to ruin your night if you don’t get the hell away from her.”

Oh, god. Oh, no. You can already feel this heading toward disaster, but your reaction time is slower than usual. The alcohol has turned your brain into mush, and you’re having a hard time deciding whether you’re more turned on by Matthew’s sudden intensity or mortified by the scene unfolding in front of you.

Ponytail Guy, to his credit (or lack thereof), doesn’t back down. “Relax, man,” he sneers, taking a step forward like he’s trying to prove something. “She’s not your property.”

It’s a bold move, considering the sheer size difference between him and Matthew. And judging by the dark look in Matthew’s eyes, you’re not sure this is going to end well for Mr. Ponytail.

You should probably intervene. You should definitely say something, do something to diffuse the tension before Matthew decks this guy in the middle of the club. But you’re still trying to figure out why the room keeps spinning, and why your feet feel like they’re glued to the floor.

“I’m not anyone’s property,” you slur, finally finding your voice. It’s not as commanding as you intended—it’s more of a drunken mumble, but hey, you’re trying. Matthew glances back at you, his expression softening for a split second before snapping back to hardened fury as he turns toward the guy again.

The guy doesn’t seem to take the hint. “She said she can handle herself,” he repeats, puffing out his chest like some budget version of an alpha male. “Why don’t you back off?”

There’s a pause, and for a split second, you think maybe—just maybe—Matthew’s going to back down, let it go, and this whole thing will blow over without anyone throwing hands.

But then, Matthew steps forward, closing the gap between him and the guy with a terrifying calm. “Listen carefully,” he says, his voice so low you can barely hear it over the pulsing music. “If you don’t walk away in the next five seconds, I’m going to make sure you regret ever coming here.”

Okay. Yep. This is escalating.

Your drunken mind is slow to react, but you know one thing for sure—this is not going to end well if it keeps going. You need to say something, anything to stop this from turning into a full-blown fight in the middle of the club.

“Matty, come on,” you say, stumbling a little as you step forward, reaching out to grab his arm. Your fingers barely graze his sleeve before you lose your balance and fall right into him. Smooth. So smooth. “Let’s just—let’s just go get a drink or… or something.”

Matthew catches you with ease, his hand steady on your waist as he looks down at you. “You’re drunk,” he mutters, his voice softer now. “You don’t need more drinks.”

You blink up at him, trying to focus on his face, but everything’s a little fuzzy. He’s so close—close enough that you can smell his cologne, a mix of something woodsy and clean, like he just stepped out of a forest after a fresh rain. God, why does he always smell so good?

“I’m not that drunk,” you protest weakly, even though you totally are. The tequila haze is thick, clouding your judgment, and you’re still thinking about those little pills in Ponytail Guy’s hand. It would be so easy to take one. Just one. You’d feel amazing, right? Invincible, even.

But Matthew’s grip tightens slightly on your waist, grounding you. “Let’s get out of here,” he says firmly, his eyes flicking back toward Ponytail Guy, who’s still lingering like a bad smell. “Before I do something stupid.”

Ponytail Guy seems to get the message this time. He mutters something under his breath—something about how you’re not worth the trouble—and slinks off into the crowd, disappearing in a sea of bodies and strobe lights.

You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. The room still feels like it’s spinning, and your head is buzzing, but you’re suddenly grateful that Matthew’s here. Even if he’s being overprotective, even if you’re still mad that he’s acting like your personal bodyguard.

Matthew keeps his arm around your waist as he leads you out of the club, guiding you through the sweaty, writhing crowd. The cool night air hits you like a splash of cold water when you step outside, and you sway slightly, your legs feeling like jelly beneath you. The bass from the club still thrums in your chest, an echo of the chaos inside, but out here, the world feels quieter, slower.

“Okay, you’re definitely done for the night,” Matthew mutters, more to himself than to you, as he helps you toward a bench near the entrance. You plop down, the wooden slats cool against the backs of your legs. Your head tilts back, and you look up at the sky, where the city lights drown out most of the stars. The world is spinning, a slow, lazy carousel, and you close your eyes, trying to steady yourself.

Matthew kneels in front of you, his hands firm on your knees as he tries to get your attention. “Hey,” he says softly, and even in your drunken haze, you can feel the concern radiating off him. “You okay?”

You open your eyes and blink down at him, the edges of his face blurring slightly as you struggle to focus. He looks so serious, so worried, and it tugs at something deep inside you. You don’t want him to worry. Matthew’s supposed to be your fun, carefree partner in crime, not your babysitter.

“I’m fine,” you slur, trying to wave him off, but your hand misses the mark and flops uselessly against his shoulder. “Just… spinning. Everything’s spinning.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” he replies dryly, his brow furrowing as he studies you. “Let’s get you home.”

Home. The word sounds nice, comforting, but also distant. Like it’s miles away instead of just a short walk. You lean forward, resting your forehead against Matthew’s chest, and he stiffens for a moment before wrapping his arms around you, holding you steady.

His heartbeat is strong and steady against your ear, a comforting rhythm that contrasts with the chaotic whirl in your head. He smells so good, like fresh pine and clean linen, and you take a deep breath, trying to anchor yourself to him, to the solidness of his presence.

“You’re so nice, Matty,” you mumble into his chest, your voice muffled by his shirt. “Like, really nice. And hot. Why are you so hot?”

You feel his chest rumble with a quiet laugh, but there’s a tension in the way he holds you, like he’s trying to keep his composure. “You’re drunk,” he says gently, one hand coming up to stroke your hair. “Let’s focus on getting you home, okay?”

You tilt your head up to look at him, your eyes wide and earnest. “No, seriously. You’re like… you’re like a hot lumberjack or something. All rugged and… and strong.”

Matthew’s lips twitch into a smile, but his eyes are still filled with that soft concern. “I think you’re mixing me up with someone else. I’m not that rugged.”

“You are,” you insist, your fingers fumbling to grip his shirt. The fabric is soft under your fingertips, and you run your hand down his chest, feeling the firm muscle beneath. “You’re… you’re like… if a grizzly bear was also a teddy bear.”

He chuckles, shaking his head slightly. “That makes no sense.”

“It does,” you argue, though your voice is thick and sluggish. “’Cause you’re big and strong, but also… also soft and warm. Like, I just wanna hug you forever.”

You press yourself closer to him, your face nuzzling into the crook of his neck. His skin is warm, and you can feel the faint prickle of stubble against your cheek. It sends a shiver down your spine, and you sigh contentedly, your body relaxing into him.

“Come on,” Matthew says, his voice a little strained now as he tries to coax you to your feet. “Let’s get you home.”

But you don’t want to move. You’re too comfortable here, wrapped up in his scent, his warmth. It’s like being swaddled in a blanket made of pure safety and affection. Why would you want to leave that?

“Nooo,” you whine, your arms tightening around his neck. “Wanna stay here. With you.”

Matthew sighs, though there’s a hint of a smile in his voice. “You can stay with me, but let’s at least get you up.”

He stands, pulling you up with him, and you stagger slightly, your legs unsteady. He keeps a firm grip on you, one arm around your waist as he starts guiding you down the street. The city is a blur of neon lights and passing cars, and you lean heavily into him, your head lolling against his shoulder.

“Okay, but do you know how hot you are?” you ask, your voice soft and dreamy. “Like, I’m pretty sure you’re the hottest guy in Calgary. And Miami, or… wherever it is you’re playing now.”

“You’re definitely drunk,” he says, though there’s a faint blush creeping up his neck. “And talking nonsense.”

“I’m not,” you insist, pouting up at him. “You’re so sexy. And nice. And I bet you’re really good at kissing.”

Matthew clears his throat, his grip on your waist tightening slightly. “Let’s not talk about that right now.”

“Why not?” you press, your eyes half-lidded as you gaze up at him. “’Cause I bet you’re amazing at it. Like… like you know exactly what to do with your hands and your tongue and…” Your voice trails off into a giggle as you try to imagine it, but your thoughts are too jumbled to form a clear picture.

Matthew doesn’t respond, his jaw clenched as he focuses on getting you down the street. You don’t notice the tension in his shoulders, too lost in your drunken haze to pick up on the way he’s fighting to keep his composure. All you can think about is how close he is, how solid and warm he feels next to you.

Matthew unlocks the door to your apartment with one hand, the other still holding you steady against his side. The hallway is dim, the faint hum of the city outside seeping through the walls, and the familiar smell of your home—clean linen and a hint of vanilla—greets you as you step inside. But you’re too lost in the comforting haze of alcohol and the warmth of Matthew’s body to notice much else.

“You’re amazing, you know that?” you mumble, your words slurring together as you nuzzle closer to his neck. “Like, really amazing. And hot. So, so fucking hot.”

He chuckles softly, the sound vibrating against your cheek as he guides you through the living room and toward your bedroom. “Yeah, you’ve mentioned that a few times,” he says, but there’s a tightness in his voice, like he’s trying to keep his emotions in check.

Your head spins as you lean heavily into him, your body swaying with the remnants of the alcohol coursing through your system. The room seems to tilt slightly, and you cling to Matthew, your fingers clutching the fabric of his shirt as if it’s the only thing keeping you upright.

He helps you sit on the edge of your bed, kneeling down in front of you as he starts to untie the laces of your shoes. The motion is gentle, almost tender, and you watch him through half-lidded eyes, your vision blurry and unfocused. But even in your drunken haze, you can see the concentration on his face, the way his brows knit together as he works to loosen the knots.

“You’re… you’re the best, Matty,” you mumble, your voice thick with affection. Your words come out slurred, but the sentiment behind them is clear. “So good to me. Always so good.”

Matthew lets out a soft chuckle, but there’s something strained in the sound, like he’s trying to hold back a flood of emotions. “Just trying to make sure you don’t sleep in your shoes,” he says, his voice low and calm as he pulls off your first sneaker, setting it aside before moving on to the next.

Your head lolls to the side as you watch him, your gaze tracing the lines of his face, the curve of his jaw, the way his lashes cast delicate shadows on his cheeks. He’s so close, so solid and warm, and you feel an overwhelming surge of affection well up inside you. It’s like a tidal wave, crashing over you and drowning out everything else.

“You’re too good to me,” you murmur, your fingers trailing down the side of his face, clumsily brushing against the stubble on his cheek. The texture sends a shiver through you, a spark of electricity that ignites something deep in your chest. “I don’t deserve you, Matty.”

Matthew’s hands still for a moment, the laces of your shoe halfway undone. He looks up at you, his expression soft but serious, and there’s something in his eyes that makes your heart squeeze. “You deserve the world,” he says quietly, his voice almost a whisper, as if he’s afraid of saying it too loud. “And more.”

Your chest tightens at his words, the sincerity in his voice cutting through the fog in your mind. It’s like he’s seeing right through you, straight to the core of who you are, and it’s both exhilarating and terrifying. You’re not used to being seen like this, not used to someone looking at you with such raw, unfiltered care.

He keeps moving, finishing with your shoes and gently lifting your legs onto the bed, his touch careful and precise. He doesn’t respond to your words, but there’s a tenderness in his actions that speaks louder than any reply. He’s taking care of you, making sure you’re comfortable, and that’s all you can ask for right now.

“Let’s get you ready for bed,” he says softly, his voice soothing as he reaches for the hem of your shirt. “You’ll feel better in the morning, I promise.”

You let him lift the fabric over your head, your arms limp and uncooperative, but he’s patient, guiding you through the motions with practiced ease. You’re left in your underwear, feeling oddly vulnerable but also safe in his presence. There’s no judgment in his eyes, no discomfort—just pure, unadulterated care.

He’s trying to focus, to keep things as platonic as possible, but your touch, your words—they’re making it difficult. His hands tremble slightly as he reaches for your pajamas, and you can’t help but notice the way his breath hitches when your fingers brush against his.

“Matty, you’re so warm,” you mumble, your voice thick and slurred. You cling to his arm, burying your face in the crook of his elbow. “And soft. Like… like a big, comfy pillow.”

His chuckle is soft, but there’s an edge to it, like he’s trying to keep himself from reacting too much. “That’s a new one,” he says, his voice a little strained as he helps you into your pajamas. “Never been compared to a pillow before.”

You giggle, your fingers fumbling with the hem of his shirt as you try to pull him closer. “But you are! So warm and nice. And you smell so good…”

He’s trying so hard to keep things light, but your words are cutting through his defenses, making him acutely aware of every little touch, every breath you take. He knows you’re drunk, knows you won’t remember half of this in the morning, but that doesn’t stop the way his heart clenches in his chest at your every compliment.

“Let’s get you into bed, okay?” he says softly, brushing your hair back from your face with gentle fingers. “You need to sleep this off.”

But you’re not ready to sleep, not yet. There’s too much you want to say, too much you’ve been keeping bottled up. The alcohol has loosened your tongue, and you find yourself blurting out things you’d never have the courage to say otherwise.

“I love this shirt,” you mumble, nuzzling into the fabric as he helps you pull it over your head. “Smells like you. No matter how much I wash it, always smells like you…”

He freezes, his hands stilling on your shoulders as your words sink in. “What do you mean?” he asks, his voice barely above a whisper.

You blink up at him, your vision blurry but your heart full of unspoken emotions. “It’s yours,” you admit, your words tumbling out in a rush. “I took it before you moved away. Couldn’t… couldn’t stand the thought of not having you with me, so I… I took it.”

The room feels like it’s holding its breath, the air thick with the weight of your confession. Matthew’s grip on your shoulders tightens slightly, his eyes searching yours for any sign that you’re joking, but all he sees is the raw honesty in your gaze.

“Yeah, it is,” he says, his voice rough. “I thought I lost it.”

His hands tighten on your shoulders, a grounding touch as he steadies himself. He can’t dwell on that now, not with you looking at him like that—soft, bleary-eyed, and so heartbreakingly vulnerable.

“Come on,” he murmurs, his voice low and soothing as he helps you finish pulling the shirt over your head. “Let’s get you cleaned up.” Your arms flop uselessly as he tugs the shirt down, your drunken limbs not cooperating, but Matthew’s hands are steady, guiding you with a gentleness that makes your heart swell.

“Matty…” you mumble, your voice trailing off as he helps you stand, one arm wrapped securely around your waist. The world tilts slightly, and you grip his shirt, your fingers curling into the soft fabric as you try to steady yourself.

“I’ve got you,” he reassures, his voice a steady murmur against your ear. He’s so close, so solid, and you can feel the warmth radiating off him in waves, soothing the edges of your spinning thoughts.

He leads you to the bathroom, each step slow and careful as he supports your weight. The cool tiles under your bare feet send a shiver up your spine, and you lean more heavily into him, your head lolling against his shoulder. His scent wraps around you like a blanket, and you close your eyes, savoring the comfort of his presence.

Matthew lifts you up onto the counter with ease, standing between your legs. His fingers brush your cheek, tilting your face up so you can meet his gaze, and even through the fog in your mind, you can see the worry etched in the lines of his face.

“I’m just going to help you clean up, okay?” he says softly, his thumb stroking your cheek in a soothing rhythm. “Then you can get some sleep.”

You nod, the motion making your head spin, but you don’t care. All you want is to be close to him, to feel his hands on you, gentle and caring. You let your eyes flutter closed as he reaches for a makeup wipe, the cool cloth sliding over your skin as he carefully removes the remnants of the night. “God, why do you even wear all this gunk anyway?” he mutters, more to himself than anything.

Matthew’s fingers move with such tenderness, tracing over your skin with the makeup wipe, and you can’t help but giggle softly as the cool cloth sweeps across your cheek. The sensation is oddly comforting, like he’s erasing more than just makeup—he’s wiping away the stress, the insecurities, the fear that’s been knotted in your chest for far too long.

You blink up at him, watching through half-lidded eyes as his brows furrow in concentration. His touch is so delicate, so reverent, like you’re something fragile that he needs to take care of. The thought makes warmth bloom in your chest, spreading through your veins until it tingles in your fingertips. You can’t resist reaching out, your hand finding his on your face, and you let your thumb rub along the edge of his wrist. The soft, steady thrum of his pulse under your fingertips makes you sigh, content and drowsy.

"You're so... nice," you slur, even though you’ve said it about a million times tonight. "Like, really nice. And strong. And... you smell good."

Matthew doesn’t say anything, just hums softly in acknowledgment as he moves on to brushing your teeth. He grabs your toothbrush, carefully squeezing the toothpaste onto it like he’s done this a thousand times before. The bristles hit your teeth, and you wrinkle your nose, the minty taste sharp against your tongue. You attempt to brush, but your hand is wobbly, barely cooperating, and soon enough, Matthew’s hand covers yours, guiding the motion in slow, methodical circles.

You close your eyes, letting him take over, and your mind drifts again, this time to all the little things you’ve never said, all the feelings you’ve buried because they’re too big, too scary to voice. But now, with him here, being so sweet and careful, the words come tumbling out before you can stop them.

“I think about you all the time, you know,” you confess, your voice muffled by the toothbrush still in your mouth. “Like, all the time. It’s... it’s stupid. But I do.”

He pauses, his hand stilling for just a moment, and you blink up at him, your gaze fuzzy but earnest. His eyes meet yours, and even through the haze of alcohol, you can see the way his expression softens, something tender and raw flickering across his face.

“I know,” he says quietly, his voice thick with something you can’t quite place. “I think about you too.”

The admission settles over you like a warm blanket, comforting and soft, and you can’t help the dopey smile that stretches across your face. “Good,” you mumble, your words slurring together as the toothbrush is finally taken from your mouth. “’Cause I’m crazy about you, Matty. Like, really crazy. Like... I wanna marry you, crazy.”

Matthew’s breath catches in his throat as your words hang in the air, the room suddenly feeling too small, too warm, like the very walls are leaning in to listen. “I wanna marry you, crazy,” you’ve just said, and the words are like a punch to his gut—equal parts exhilarating and terrifying.

He forces himself to focus, to stay grounded in the moment, because you’re here, drunk and vulnerable, and he can’t afford to lose his head, even if his heart is racing like it’s trying to break free from his chest.

You’re still smiling up at him, your eyes droopy but sparkling with the kind of affection that only comes when the alcohol strips away every last ounce of inhibition. He can’t help but smile back, his heart squeezing at how utterly adorable you look, all soft and pliant, just a little messy around the edges.

“Marry me, huh?” he teases, trying to keep his voice light as he puts away the toothbrush and reaches for the hairbrush. “Didn’t know you were planning on proposing tonight.”

You giggle, a sound so sweet it sends a shiver down his spine. “Mmmm, maybe…” you mumble, swaying slightly as you lean forward, your hands finding purchase on his chest. Your fingers curl into the fabric of his shirt, and you let out a contented sigh. “You’d say yes, right? You… you love me, right?”

The question is so simple, so innocent, and yet it carries the weight of a thousand unspoken truths. Matthew swallows hard, his throat suddenly dry, and he’s thankful you’re too drunk to notice the way his hands tremble slightly as he starts to brush your hair.

He feels like his heart might burst from the sheer force of how much he adores you, and he has to blink back the sudden sting of tears that threaten to well up. You’re so open, so honest in this state, and it’s both a blessing and a curse. He doesn’t deserve this—doesn’t deserve you—but God, he wants you so badly it hurts.

The brush catches on a small tangle, and you whimper, the sound so pitiful that it pulls him out of his thoughts. “Sorry, sorry,” he murmurs, quickly working the knot out with his fingers before continuing. He can feel you relaxing more and more with each stroke, your body leaning into his as if you’re trying to meld into him.

You’re so beautiful to him, even like this—especially like this. Hair tousled, cheeks flushed, eyes glassy from the alcohol. You’re vulnerable, open in a way that makes Matthew’s throat tighten. He’s never seen you like this, not really, and he’s terrified that if he blinks, you’ll disappear, or worse, that this version of you will be gone by morning.

He’s trying so hard to keep things platonic, to not let his feelings slip through, but every brush of your fingers against his skin, every slurred word of affection, makes it harder to keep the walls up.

His thumb brushes against your cheek again, and he can’t help but smile at the way you nuzzle into his hand, like a cat seeking warmth. “You’re gonna feel so embarrassed in the morning,” he murmurs, voice low and fond. “But you’re lucky I’m such a good friend, huh?”

You pout, your bottom lip jutting out in a way that makes his chest tighten. “I’m not embarrassed,” you say, words slurred but insistent. “I’m just being honest. You’re amazing, Matty. The best friend ever.”

He chuckles, a soft sound that rumbles in his chest, and he can’t help but shake his head. “Yeah, well, I try,” he says lightly, though his heart is heavy. “Let’s get you to bed, alright?”

You whine, a soft sound that tugs at his heartstrings. “Don’t wanna sleep yet,” you mumble, your hands fisting in his shirt. “Wanna stay with you. Wanna… talk.”

Matthew sighs, but it’s more fond exasperation than anything else. “You can talk to me all you want tomorrow,” he says gently. “Right now, you need to rest.”

But you’re not having it. Your grip on his shirt tightens, and you look up at him with those big, glassy eyes that make his resolve waver. “Please, Matty,” you whisper, voice so soft and pleading it makes his heart clench painfully. “Just… stay with me a little longer. Please?”

And damn it, how can he say no to that? How can he say no to you, when you’re looking at him like that, like he’s the only thing keeping you grounded in the spinning world around you?

“Alright,” he relents, his voice barely above a whisper. “Just for a little bit, okay? Then you really need to sleep.”

You nod eagerly, a bright smile spreading across your face, and he can’t help but mirror it, his own smile soft and adoring. He guides you back to the bed, helping you sit down gently, and you tug him down beside you, your hands still clutching his shirt like a lifeline.

You can feel the world spinning in slow, lazy circles as you nuzzle into Matthew’s shoulder, your hands weaving through his messy curls. They’re soft and unruly, just like you imagined. You’ve always wanted to do this, to run your fingers through his hair and tell him he looks like some sort of Disney prince that got lost on his way to a ball.

“I love your hair,” you mumble into his shoulder, your words slurring slightly as the alcohol works its magic. “’S..so fluffy, like a… like a golden retriever.”

Matthew laughs, the sound vibrating against your cheek where it rests on his shoulder, and you smile, feeling a warmth spread through your chest at the sound. You’ve always loved his laugh—how it’s deep and rich, like dark chocolate, and makes your heart do weird, fluttery things that you’re definitely not thinking about right now. Nope, not at all.

“You’re crazy,” he says, but there’s no bite to his words. If anything, he sounds amused, fond even, like he’s secretly enjoying this, watching you unravel and spill your guts like you’re auditioning for some tragic role in a romance movie.

You let out a contented sigh, your fingers still tangled in his hair as you turn your head slightly to look up at him. He’s so close, his face just inches from yours, and you can see every detail—the flecks of gold in his blue eyes, the way his lips quirk up at the corners, and that stupid little dimple that only shows up when he’s genuinely smiling. It’s not fair how pretty he is. It’s not fair that he gets to be your best friend and also make your heart do that weird, fluttery thing you’re definitely not thinking about.

“Why are you so pretty?” you ask, your voice barely above a whisper. “It’s not fair. You should be illegal.”

Matthew’s eyes widen slightly, and you can see the faintest hint of pink creeping up his neck. “Pretty?” he repeats, his voice a little strained, like he’s not sure if you’re serious or just really, really drunk. “I don’t think anyone’s ever called me pretty before.”

“Well, they should,” you insist, your fingers curling tighter in his hair as if to emphasize your point. “You’re like… like a prince or something. A really hot prince who’s also really nice and sweet and—”

Matthew clears his throat, his face turning a deeper shade of red, and you giggle, the sound light and airy. You don’t know why he’s so embarrassed. It’s not like you’re saying anything that isn’t true. He is pretty. And nice. And sweet. And also really, really hot, which you’re definitely not thinking about right now. Nope, not at all.

“Okay, okay,” he says, cutting you off before you can go on another drunken tangent. “I think that’s enough compliments for one night.”

You pout, your bottom lip jutting out in a way that you know drives him crazy because he’s always telling you to stop doing it. “But I’m not done,” you protest, your voice whiny and petulant. “You’re… you’re the best, Matty. The best friend ever. And I just… I just love you so much.”

The words are out before you can stop them, and you immediately feel a flush creeping up your cheeks, hot and mortifying. Did you really just say that? Did you really just blurt out your deepest, darkest secret like it’s no big deal? God, you’re an idiot. A drunk, stupid idiot who can’t keep her mouth shut.

Matthew is silent, his gaze soft as he watches you, and you can feel your heart racing in your chest, the thump-thump-thump almost deafening in the quiet room. You want to crawl under a rock and die, or maybe just pass out and pretend this never happened. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.

But before you can make your escape, Matthew reaches up, his hand gently cupping your cheek as he tilts your head up to look at him. His thumb brushes against your skin, soft and warm, and you shiver at the touch, your breath catching in your throat.

“I love you too,” he says quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. “You know that, right? You’re my best friend, and I… I care about you a lot.”

You blink up at him, your vision swimming slightly as you try to process his words. He loves you. He cares about you. But… does he love you like you love him? Does he feel that weird, fluttery thing in his chest when you’re around, or is that just a you problem?

Before you can ask, Matthew is guiding you back down onto the bed, his touch gentle as he tucks you in, pulling the covers up around your shoulders. You’re too tired to protest, your eyelids suddenly feeling heavy, and you let out a soft sigh, your head sinking into the pillow.

“Sleep, okay?” Matthew murmurs, his hand brushing a stray piece of hair out of your face. “We can talk more in the morning.”

You want to argue, to tell him that you’re not done, that there’s so much more you need to say, but your body has other plans, and before you know it, you’re drifting off, the sound of Matthew’s steady breathing lulling you to sleep.

As you drift off, you can feel his hand resting on your head, his thumb brushing softly against your temple. The last thing you hear before sleep pulls you under is his voice, quiet and filled with something you can’t quite place.

“You’re gonna be the death of me, crazy girl,” he whispers, and then everything fades into darkness, his touch the only thing anchoring you to the world.

[jilyawards]

The Jily Fandom Rec List 2024 is a compilation of Jily stories our readers want to keep an eye on for this year's awards.

JULY

Genius (completed, 4.3k) by @petalsthefish. Rated M.

After Lily breaks her iPhone, she finds herself at the Genius Bar on Valentines Day, and an old flame is there to help her in all things technology and romance.

That Summer (WIP, 13.3k as of 31 July 2024) by @thecasualauthor. Rated T.

In which James and Lily spend the summer in a house by the sea. (and fall in love in the process)

to dream the impossible dream (completed, <1k) by @emeralddoeadeer. Rated T.

From Tumblr prompt asks: “I called you at 2am because I need you.”

Only Nineteen (completed, 2.2k) by @petalsthefish. Rated M.

Lily and James discuss what to do about Lily’s unplanned pregnancy during a forced holiday up north after a mission went wrong. My prompt for the May jilychallenge was “Skinny Dipping” and I decided to make it skinny dipping but with angst because I needed a good cry

The Bath of a Lifetime (completed, <1k) by @chierafied. Rated M.

James wanted a stiff drink, a hot bath and to lounge on the couch by the fireplace. The drink seemed unlikely. The couch was a possibility. But he’d definitely be getting that bath.

star light, star bright (completed, 9k) by @gigglesandfreckles-hp. Rated G.

It's seventh year, somehow, that clinches the case, claiming the grand prize in the annals of Lily Evans's misfortunes. Because, as it turns out, harbouring feelings for James Potter while also navigating the precarious terrain of friendship with him is a fate crueller than death. [or: James keeps accidentally touching Lily and she's about to lose her mind]

December's Valentine (WIP, 16.2k as of 31 July 2024) by @stonecoldhedwig. Rated E.

Sometimes, a one-night-stand with a guy off Tinder is just that: a one-night-stand. No lasting feelings, no strings attached. It's the kind of thing that's easy to get your head around when you're trying to get your heart around the end of a relationship. Sometimes, it's not that simple. Sometimes, you're a journalist, and you get assigned to write a piece on an up-and-coming restaurateur, who just might be that one-night-stand from Tinder that you can't stop thinking about. And sometimes, to make matters worse, the two of you get snowed in... **** Or: Lily shags James, and thinks she'll never see him again. Right? Wrong.

The Smallest Men Who Ever Lived. (completed, 7.3k) by ninazenikcult. Not rated.

The time has come for Lily to leave Cokeworth, and with it, two of the smallest men who ever lived; her father and Severus Snape. But leaving the town where she has been trapped for years and exchanging it for an idyllic new life with James proves more difficult than first thought.

My Life's Blood (completed, 18.2k) by @ohmygodshesinsane. Rated E.

James Potter, Duke of Peverell, lingers on the outer edges of the Prince Regent Regulus's court, steadfastly plotting his overthrow. When the Prince Regent's new bride, the lovely Lily of Innsbruck, arrives, a formal introduction leads to James's realisation that the folk tales are true -- and that if he fails to contrive a way to stay at the princess-to-be's side, their lives will be forfeit.

Check out the previous months' recs too: January, February, March || April || May || June

[hauntedhowlett-writes]

✧*̥˚ my muses, acquired like bruises *̥˚✧

a collection of my fics inspired by taylor swift songs/lyrics, in honor of the release of THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT

JOEL MILLER

cruel summer | au | explicit | chapters: 6/6

Joel takes a contracting job renovating a master bedroom and bathroom while the homeowners are away for the summer on a cruise. He wasn’t expecting their twenty-three year old daughter and the thoughts he’d have about her.

↳AO3 | Tumblr: chapter 1 | chapter 2 | chapter 3 | chapter 4 | chapter 5 | chapter 6

crimson red paint on my lips | post-outbreak | explicit | connected work

Joel Miller is an asshole. You should have known better than to show up at his door with your lips painted red. Connected to me and the devil and marked me like a bloodstain

↳AO3 | Tumblr

marked me like a bloodstain | post-outbreak | explicit | connected work

You save Joel’s life when the two of you are attacked on a smuggling run. He has an interesting way of saying thank you. Connected to crimson red paint on my lips and me and the devil

↳Tumblr

karma is my boyfriend’s dad | au | explicit | connected work

Your boyfriend, Sean Miller, is an asshole. The one redeeming thing about him? His dad, Joel Miller. And he's just invited you along on the family vacation to Panama City Beach, Florida.

↳Tumblr

in a feud with her neighbor | au | explicit | connected work

Five times you think Joel Miller is the worst neighbor ever, and the one time he isn’t.

↳Tumblr

bonus scenes: in a feud with her neighbor | au | PG-13 | connected work

Fluffy bonus scenes for "in a feud with her neighbor" as suggested by anon!

↳Tumblr

toyin’ with them older guys | au | explicit | one-shot

Joel Miller is the grumpy bartender and owner of your favorite bar near campus, where you attend trivia every Tuesday night. Thinking there’s no way Joel could return your feelings, your friend suggests trying out Tinder. But when you bring them to the bar for a date, they keep leaving mid date with no explanation. Maybe there’s something Joel isn’t telling you after all.

↳AO3 | Tumblr

help me hold onto you | post-outbreak | explicit | one-shot

Joel always tries his best to keep his mind from wandering to its darkest corners, but occasionally, the frayed threads holding him together with sloppy stitches start to unravel. Sometimes you need to give him something to hold onto.

↳AO3 | Tumblr

seven | post-outbreak | explicit | one-shot

Joel Miller has spent twenty years pushing the grief and guilt surrounding the death of his daughter, Sarah, to the darkest recesses of his brain in favor of survival. Living a more quiet life in Jackson means the ghosts of his past have returned to haunt him. He finds his solace in you, the town librarian.

↳Tumblr

the last great american dynasty | au | explicit | one-shot

Joel Miller has loved the historic Victorian home in his neighborhood since the first time he laid eyes on it. When the elderly owner passes, he thinks he might get his chance to finally buy it and fix it up. He doesn’t expect to find you, the granddaughter of the previous owner and trustee of her estate, standing in the way of his dream.

↳Tumblr | AO3

TOMMY MILLER

wrong place, right time | pre-outbreak | explicit | one-shot

What if Joel didn’t answer Tommy’s call from jail? And what if the waitress he’d been defending that night bailed him out instead?

↳Tumblr

JAVIER PEÑA

i can see you (javier peña's version) | au | explicit | one-shot

When Javier Peña takes credit for your lead, you take revenge. Good thing you know Javier can't resist a girl in red lipstick.

↳Tumblr

FRANKIE MORALES

my tears and my beers and my candles | au | explicit | one-shot

It’s been a bad week and you just need to have a good cry. You didn’t expect Frankie Morales, best friend and unrequited crush, to crash your pity party. He’s got some interesting ways of making you feel better. Maybe it’s not so unrequited after all.

↳AO3 | Tumblr

invisible string | au | explicit | one-shot

After fifteen years, the invisible string that ties you to Frankie Morales pulls you back together

↳Tumblr

MIGUEL O'HARA

i can see you (miguel o'hara's version) | au | explicit | one-shot

As Dr. Miguel O’Hara’s graduate teaching and research assistant, you’ve spent years pushing down the inappropriate thoughts you’ve had about the brilliant, gorgeous man. But what happens when a late night at the lab and a scientific breakthrough leads to a breakthrough of a different kind?

↳Tumblr

EDDIE MUNSON

the mark you saw on my collarbone | vampire au | explicit | connected work

A snippet of life with your human and your monster. A oneshot in the bat out of hell series

↳AO3

[cas-skz]

HOOKED

Han Jisung x Fem!reader

You spend the night after what was supposed to be a casual tinder hookup with your high school crush.

18+plz&thnx!!! MDNI!!

Warnings: smut. unprotected sex. 69. creampie. cursing.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!

Writers note: Yeees hello. This is more brain rot that has been sitting for a few months. I didn’t like it and now I kinda do so I said fuck it. Hope you like!

cas xx

“How is it, that you’ve slept with a bunch of guys, but you don’t know how to ride dick?” Your sister teased, sitting on your bed as you dug through your closet in attempt to find something cute to wear. “Drunken one night stands in collage didn’t give me a chance” You sassed, throwing one of her shirts you had stolen in her direction.

Once you found a cute lacey top, you quickly pulled an oversized hoddie on before plopping next to your sister on the bed. "You're like a kinder surprise." She poked, grabbing the laptop and continuing her creeping on the boy you had been chatting with on Tinder, your highschool crush, Han. "What the fuck does that mean?" You question. "Boring on the outside but a surprise when you unwrap it." You couldn't help but scoff at her lame joke.

Your sister let you have the car for the night, joking she had put a tracker on it and would know if you got kidnapped. She was dramatic like that, but meant well. When you arrived at Han's house, you sent a quick 'here' text to her before hoping out and slowly walking to the front of the car, sending Han the same text. He was quick to open the door, greeting you with a hug before leading you down stairs. "Parents are out of town, but this is my little cave. Other than food, I live down here."

You had settled in rather quickly, sharing a joint with Han as you reconnected about what has been going on in your life since graduation. It wasn't long before you settled into the couch and started a movie, enough space to fit another person. You excused yourself to the bathroom, quickly texting your sister. Your chats with Han had been innocent until a few nights ago, during a game of 20 questions, you asked if he ever had a girl ride him, something that had been stuck in your mind after a specific porno had been your go to rub-bud.

Your sister replied right away, telling you to take the lead. After a quick pee, you slid from your sweater, adjusting the lace along your breasts and messing your hair a bit before returning to the couch.

“Did I miss anything good?” You question, plopping yourself directly next to Han, running your hand through your hair as you tilted your head towards him. Han struggled to find his words for a few seconds, his eyes wide and scanning your body before returning to your face. “I like your shirt. It’s a nice shirt.” He finally got out, his cheeks flushed red as he stumbled over his words.

A few moments passed, your eyes flashing from the screen to Han's hands, biting your lip as you noticed the veins that ran along his arms. Your pointer finger slowly traced along his hand and wrist, goosebumps rising under your touch. Han's hand moved onto your thigh, gripping gently as his eyes stayed mostly on the tv.

You continued to move your finger across his skin, tracing his veins, gently scratching the inside of his wrist. It wasn't very hard to notice the erection growing inside Han's sweat pants.

His hand inched up your thigh, easily spreading them slightly as his fingers found your clit and started to move slowly. The smallest moan escaped your lips, your nails digging into him slightly at the feeling of his touch.

Han moved slightly to readjust himself, a small smirk pulling at his lips as you copied, moving yourself to a more comfortable position. You leaned into Han, allowing his arm to cover yours, giving him better access to you. His fingers started movement again, slowly pleasing you over the thin fabric of your leggings.

Your hand made an attempt to slip into his pants, but was quickly cut off. "Not yet." He smirked, his fingers picking up speed.

Han’s fingers continue to move in a rhythmic motion over your leggings, soft moans leaving your lips every now and then. You couldn’t hold back when a small shutter shot through your body, allowing his name to quietly escape your mouth.

It must have struck a cord as he turned his attention away from the movie. Han’s body shifted with yours, allowing him to hover over you, his fingers still working slowly at your clit while the other roamed your body. You pulled him into you, your lips meeting with his, sharing gentle kisses while your clothes started to hit the floor.

You intensified the kiss, gently biting his lip as your hand reached down to pump his length, a beautiful thick mass curved to perfection. Han smirked proudly as you praise his cock, his fingers worked towards your entrance, teasing at first before slipping two fingers inside, his hand matching paces with your strokes.

A quiet whimper escaped your lips as his tongue slid in your mouth, fighting with yours for control. Warmth left your core as his hand wrapped around your neck, his body rolling into yours. “I want you to sit on my face.” He hissed against your lips, reversing positions so you were on top.

His hand slapped down on your ass before pulling your core towards his face, his tongue working swiftly at your clit. “Fuck Han..” you moaned quietly, your nails digging into his tights as you reach down to take his cock in your mouth.

His tongue easily worked between your folds, swirling circles and sucking at your clit. Your mouth worked on his cock but you couldn’t hold back a wave of small whines as he plunged two fingers in your hole, adding to the already incredible sensation you were feeling.

“Fuck..holy fuck I’m gonna cum.” His hand slapped down on your ass again, his movements hitting key points perfectly. You felt your peak hit, a cluster of moans and curses escaping as your body shook with pleasure.

Rotating, you pressed your lips into Han's, tongue pushing inside to tango with his. Your hips lowered, pussy sitting on his length as you grinded slowly against him, his cock sliding easily with help of your slick.

His hand slapped down on your ass again, a little harder this time. A small whine escaped your lips as your cheek started to tingle from his slaps, his hands guiding your hips as you slid along his shaft. "Cum for me again." He ordered, his hand wrapping into your hair as he moved his lips to your neck, biting and sucking at your skin.

Your nails dug into his chest as your clit twitched against him, your body starting to shake as your peak approached. Han pulled you into him, hand slapping down on your ass again as you started to cum again.

"Let me ride your cock." You say into his ear, teeth nipping at the lobe. He scooted up a bit, pulling you with him as his mouth found your breasts and you positioned yourself, teasing your entrance with his thick cock head before slowly pushing it in.

“So fucking tight." Han smirked, his eyes watching you try to take his mass, barely able to fit him in. Your hips bobbed slowly as your walls started to stretch, finally taking his full length. You whined quietly, moving yourself up and down, trying to find a comfortable pace. Your mind flashed back to the video you enjoyed and you tried to copy the motions.

Straightening yourself up, you took his full length as deep as it could go, moving back up slowly and repeating the action. You played with your breasts as you found the right pace bouncing happily.

It wasn’t long before you rolled into your third orgasm, bottoming out on Han as your legs shook violently. His hand reached up to your neck, pulling you towards him as he crashed him lips into yours, his hips thrusting hard into you. “You’re so fucking hot.” He mumbled against your lips.

The fourth orgasms came as a surprise when his thrusting turned hard and fast, skin slapping together and turning red from impact. You hid your face in his neck, muffling your screams against his skin.

His pace finally slowed and his arms swiftly flipped you and positioned you on all fours on the couch, where you slumped against the back for support. You felt fuzzy and so satisfied, you just let Han have his way with you. Dick drunk and shaking with pleasure.

He teased your entrance with the tip of his cock before slowly pushing inside, his hand slapping down and grabbing your ass as he thrusted slowly, trying his best to keep himself composed as the new position drove him crazy.

“You gonna cum for me again princess?” His words sent a shiver up your spine, no one ever gave you a pet name. You bit your lip and nodded, looking back at him as he watched himself move in and out of your tight hole.

It didn’t take long before you felt yourself peaking again, your hands grabbing the fabric of the couch as you rode out your orgasm. Han quickly pulled out, “Good girl.”

He moved himself to the floor, pulling you down onto his lap, lips finding yours immediately as you pushed his cock back inside you. Your swollen pussy hugging his length.

Your lips worked perfectly with his, soft tender kisses as you hips slowly milling with his, small bounces being added here and there. You finally managed to open your eyes, lust filled and sparkling as you look down at Han, your hands training his chest muscles down to his abs.

“I want you to cum for me.” You told him, your words making his cock twitch slightly. You smirked, leaning down so your lips were close to his ear, “Cum in my fucking pussy.” You whisper in a moan, his hand slapping down on your ass as his other reached for your neck, pulling you forward so he could look at you.

Your eyes were rolled back slightly, mouth partially open, small beads of sweat starting to pool at your hairline. Pure bliss taking over your body as you rutted against him, your combined fluids the only sound other than the moans you both shared. His cock started to twitch again, firming even more as his seed started to shoot. “Fuck…fucking cum—I’m fucking cumming.” He hissed, his hand on your ass guiding your hips quickly, allowing him to empty every bit deep inside you.

Your final orgasm rolled out with his and you swore it was from how hot he looked when he finished. His hips jerked into you a few times, before settling and you straddled his waist for a moment before sliding off, cum flowing from your pussy onto his stomach and waist. A small laugh escaped his lips, breaths calming as he looked at you, hands running over your body. “Holy shit” He moaned

You weakly laid against his body, aftershocks shooting throughout yours. You spent a while in the same position, chatting and giggling about common interests before getting up to shower.

You texted your sister that you were staying the night and threw your phone to the side, joining Han in his bed as he turned a movie on and cuddled close to you before falling asleep just before you did.

The next morning you woke up alone and groaned while stretching. You grabbed one of Han’s shirts and followed the music coming from the upstairs kitchen.

“I hope you like blueberry pancakes.” He said as you walked in the kitchen, stopping in his tracks when he saw you. “You look so beautiful.”

You blushed a deep red as you made your way over to him, quickly kissing his cheek before ripping a piece of pancake and eating it. You hopped on the counter, poking his nose. “Thank you handsome. I might steal this, it’s comfy.” You smiled

“Does that mean every time you come here, you’re gonna steal my clothes?” He laughed, going over to you and rubbing his nose against yours before deeply kissing you.

You draped your arms over his shoulders, playing with the hair on the back of his head as you returned the kiss. “I just might.” You giggled against his lips.

[herbgroom]

stupid AUs I came up with

everything is a convoluted romcom plot

cw for burakhovsky

- everything starts with isidor thinking, hey my son is in that special age where he's supposed to get married and give me grandkids

- oh right he likes boys

- well I still want him settled down

- so isidor starts flipping through science and medicine magazines, treating them like a tinder gallery basically, looking for palpable bachelors

- he finds one, he looks a bit quirky with his funny coat and his obsession with death, but hey, no one is perfect

- he starts corresponding with this guy, pretending he's oh so interested in his Grand Thanatology Project

- The Plan Begins

- he offhandendly mentions that he knows an immortal dude, who so happens to live in his town, how convenient!

- in the meantime he sends a letter to artemy telling him that he needs to come back Right Fucking Now

- isidor goes to his most trusted collaborator, mark immortell, a big fan of big and convoluted things

- he tells him that they need to stage a huge catastrophic event so those two idiots are brought together by the nefarious circumstances and fall in love or something

- mark is Ecstatic

- he rounds up every woman, man and child in town

- the townsfolk are also fans of big scale performances (it's a town of theatre kids, basically)

- only the children need a bit of convincing, but he bribes them with a sack of nuts

- grief and his gang of bandits are really an unhinged group of improv actors

- clara also is a super enthusiastic theatre person who's a bit too into method acting

- so the two Victims arrive in town, and the play begins

- everyone has roles to play, georgiy for example, has to pretend he has an identical twin who was murdered just before the arrival of this so called bachelor of medicine, oh no! what a tragic coincidence!

- isidor also "disappears," but he's really helping mark from the backstage

- some guys are actually instructed to rough up artemy a little, for "realism's sake" (mark's words) but they leave fake weapons around for the healers to find and "use" (each person in town carries a patch of fake blood so the two feel good about killing them)

- time for the Big Plot Event

- mark and isidor instruct the people to pump up dust and ashes up their chimneys to simulate the plague, put red paint on the buildings, so on

- some people have to play the role of the infected, hey not everyone can have the big roles

- through the placebo effect and gaslighting, the Victims really believe there's a Plague Going On

- and lo and behold they meet

- oh daniil is dropping the two hands line

- oh he's already in love

- hm

- what now

- "the show must go on!" mark cries, he's not stepping down from the biggest and most beautiful project he's ever put on stage

- so they double down on the plague thing

- mark even calls over aglaya, an ex understudy of his, who then also calls block, who used to be in a production of Six Characters In Search Of An Author with her back in the capital. they pretend to be the big baddies from the government or something

- the twelfth day comes to an end and the Victims both think they've got a solution to the plague

- they're invited to the cathedral

- surprise!! it's a wedding!!

- daniil strangles isidor

- the end

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Won’t Give Up

Prequel to Stress Relief, Right Through Me, Waiting, and Honey I’m Home

Warnings: nothing too concerning, intimidation, dark intensions.

Summary: We go back to the beginning.

Even though it’s a drabble, I do appreciate any comments and feedback you have. Thanks for reading!

👗👗👗

Your phone vibes. The third time from that number. You sigh and flip up the lock screen as you step onto the platform and look up at the sign for your ETA. Your Tinder date wants a reply and you don’t want to give it to him. Not then, you’re too tired from work.

Your train pulls up and you shuffle in with the rest of the passengers. You find a seat along the side and tap on the screen with your thumbs, typing and deleting several messages before you get the words right.

‘Hey. Busy day at work, sorry for the late response. I had a great time but I just don’t think we want the same things. Friends?’

You hit send and pull your purse from against your hip into your lap, resting your hands on top. You think of the night before. Most of your online dates took you to a bar but not Clark. A nice restaurant. Fancy. It should have been the first hint at his very traditional outlook. One the subject of kids came up, you knew it wasn’t going to work.

Your phone buzzes and your stomach flips. He was nice. Maybe too nice. And cute. But you just didn’t want that white picket fence. You liked being able to drive out of town on a spontaneous weekend away or go shopping at the new local shop. You just wanted someone to join in the excitement. It definitely isn’t him.

‘That’s too bad. I really like you. Sure you don’t want to give me a second chance?’ The response is calm and cool. Nothing like the guys who immediately hurl the most juvenile insults back at you. Still, he can be decent and still not your type.

‘Sorry, Clark. I thought my profile made it clear what I’m looking for. I would hate to give you false hope.’

You’re happy with your decision. You lower your phone again and exhale, looking around the car as it draws up to a stop and lets on more bodies. You yawn and lean back, the lights on the other side of the window flickering in your peripherals.

You jolt as the train takes off and lean into the motion. At your stop, your phone still hasn’t vibed again. That’s that. He’s probably disappointed. You don’t expect an answer. You both just need to keep swiping.

You get off and cross the platform. You feel your phone, a different kind of buzz, a notification. You have a message on Tinder. It’s Clark. Weird. You open it up but the chat shows only an error: This user is no longer available. Either he’s blocked you or deleted. Likely the former.

You shrug and continue on to your building as the street lights glow in the grim urban night. You unlock the grate front door and let yourself past the inner barrier. Both clang behind you heavily. You climb the stairs as you scroll through your feed, not paying attention to the path ahead.

Inside your apartment, everything is as you left it. You open a can of cat food, expecting Mona to come out for her nightly feeding. When she doesn’t, you leave the tin on the counter and go to look under the couch for her.

You search under the table and the chair too, then go into the bedroom. The curtains ripple with the breeze flowing in through the open windows. What the hell? You never leave the open. Did Mona get out? Did she fall?

You rush to the pane and stop short as suddenly a shadow looms over you, a figure floating in the air, a cape flapping behind the surreal form as two red eyes glow in the night. You gape up at him as he slowly hovers towards you.

“You don’t know what you want,” Clark’s voice sends a tremor through you, “but I’m right here, honey. I’m exactly what you need.”

[reorientation]

I'm the lesbian who can't stop returning to rubbing myself to your blog from a few days ago. My gf is going out of town for a week and being all alone like that is making me all kinds of manic. There are so many things i could do with her gone that you've planted in my head as ideas. I don't want to cheat on her, i really don't, but just the knowledge that I could...

like i could dress up in my shortest skirt and no panties and go to a hotel bar and hope an old buisness man picks me up. he'd take my virginity and he could even leave me with his baby to take care of

or i could go on tinder and find some guy looking for a one night stand and tell him not only can he fuck me raw but that i want him to take me like that. and in the bed i share with her too.

but i don't want to cheat! it's all just mixed up in my head and i don't know what to think.

(Previously)

That I planted in your head, sweetheart? I don't think I've ever written about those particular scenarios. I didn't even encourage you to cheat on your girlfriend; I just told you that you won't be able to fight the urge to spread your legs for a man and conceive from it.

The fact that as soon as she left town, you came back to me with a list of ways you could be pregnant before she's back in your bed, and told me it's because of me that you're thinking like this... You're already looking for reasons it wouldn't be your fault, aren't you?

Well, bad news, sweetie: it's your fevered little imagination that concocts those ideas, and your faithless pussy that gets wet to them. The idea that getting pregnant could be as easy as downloading an app, sending a few messages, and unlocking the door - the image of you getting fucked raw by a man you'll never see again, and then just lying there leaking your new baby daddy's cum on your girlfriend's side of the bed - well, that particular elaboration is mine, but you're the one who brought it up.

Still, you don't really want to cheat on her, do you? Then you'd better find some kind of pressure relief. Maybe making yourself come a few times with a dildo - spreading your legs and fucking yourself to the thought, but not really doing it, not really feeling a man's bare cock push into you and knowing you might grow a baby for him.

Just some innocent fantasies. That should be all you need. Right?

[deaddie-munson]

Video Killed The Radio Star

Joseph Quinn x Reader

18+ (Minors DNI or I’ll hex you and that’s a promise)

Angst, slow burn, strangers to lovers, femme AFAB reader, eventual smut, mentions of drug use (Weed, Nicotine, alcohol.), Mentions of past abuse, reader is a radio host, reader is from Canada, use of Y/N, more to be added as things progress.

AN- Hi! This is the first fan fiction I’ve written since middle school. you can let me know if you want to be on a tag list. I work full-time and have adult responsibilities so I will try to write chapters when I can, but there will likely be some inconsistent posting. Just trying fic writing again to get my creative juices flowing. 

Chapter 1 “You’re Hired”

---

“Come on Y/N, you need to get back out there eventually.” Alex said, snatching your phone out of your hand and holding it away from you.

“No, Alex, I do not need to get back out there,” you said making air quotes. You tried to grab the phone back, but you couldn’t reach it as she held it over the aisle of the bus.  

“I’m downloading tinder and making you an account.” Alex said turning the phone towards you to use your face ID. “You need to find at least a fling while you’re on this trip. All the guys would melt at your voice in an instant, I know it.”  

You sighed and held your head in your hands. You weren’t ready to move on yet, thoughts of your ex still swirling around in your brain. He dumped you 7 months ago, but that was the kicker. He. Dumped. You. You were still very much in love when it happened. No, he wasn’t anywhere near perfect. He was a little controlling at times, but you loved him. He had you hook, line, and sinker. Then, out of seemingly nowhere, he kicked you out of your shared apartment, and you were forced to sleep on Alex’s couch. It was older than you with springs poking your back the moment you shifted your weight even the slightest.  

“I think I should, I don’t know, get settled, and maybe get my own apartment before I jump into that, Alex. Seriously, I don’t want a relationship right now, and I don’t do hookups.” You gave her a cold stare as she was going through your camera roll, trying to find the best photos to put on your profile.  

“Y/N, holy shit you look smoking hot in this.” Alex stared at the photo in question. It was a photo from Halloween, Your Playboy bunny costume leaving little to the imagination. It was 3 weeks after your breakup, and after not being allowed to show your body off for 3 years you decided to say fuck it. You thought taking a guy home would help soothe the pain you felt in the pit of your stomach, but after 3 minutes of grunting while you lay underneath, stiff as a board, it was safe to say hookups were not your cup of tea after that.  

“I don’t want people to get the wrong idea about me. I’m not looking to hook up with people, Alex. That night made me realize that.” You sighed as you stared out the window, the streets of London bustling as you rode from the hotel to your job interview.  

“Well this could be a fresh start for you, Y/N. No one here has a clue who you are. Maybe all these British men are sex gods or something. Everyone knows everyone in our town, this place is worlds different. A lot easier to avoid the ones that finish in 2 minutes.” Alex laughed at herself, thinking she was a comedian as you keep a close eye on the bus stops.  

“We’re here, Alex. Now give me my damn phone.” You said, snatching it out of her hands. She turned to you with puppy dog eyes. You rolled your eyes and stuck your tongue out at her as you pushed her to get up and off the bus.  

“I still can’t believe you got a job interview in London, and they were so insistent on meeting you in person that they let you take me.” Alex raved as you walked the last few blocks to your destination.  

“I know, it was a little strange. I thought they would just do everything online since I certainly didn’t have the money to fly here myself,” you slow your pace, taking in the city surrounding you. You sigh and look at your best friend. “I just needed any excuse to get out of that town. It was too much pain for me to stay. I’m just glad the station let me take the remote gear so I can still do my show. ‘Y/N live from The Big Smoke.’”

“If you get this gig that means you are moving to another continent, and I’m never going to see you again.” Alex pouts.

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic. You’ll be taking plenty of vacations here to see me. Not like you need to pay for a hotel, you can sleep on whatever shitty couch I grab off the side of the road,” you laugh.  

“Okay, rude,” Alex retorts. “I just mean I'll miss you, Y/N. I won’t know who to do tequila shots at the bar with anymore.”

“I’m sure lots of guys will want to do shots with you. Maybe other stuff too...” You chuckle to yourself as you see the building come into view. “I think this is it. Looks pretty swanky.”  

You press the buzzer and an older lady answers. “104.5 The Surge, how can I help you?”

“Um, Yeah, Hi. My name is Y/N Y/L/N, I’m here for my interview with George Thomas for the Program Director Position.” You feel your heart pick up speed and your hands are suddenly clammy.

“Don’t be nervous, Y/N. They will love you, I promise.” Alex whispers. She could see your body tense, clenching your jaw and grinding your teeth together as the lady on the intercom responds.

“Oh yes dear, we were expecting you. I’ll buzz you in.” The door unlocks and you hold the door open for Alex to step through. Giving her a wide-eyed expression so she knew how much you were panicking.  

“Just breathe. You’ll be fine,” Alex said as you step into the lobby. The walls were a rusty orange, autographed records and photos covering the walls. A locked trophy case filled with awards catching your attention as you stepped towards it.

“Is that a grammy? Wow, I wonder how they got their hands on that?” You looked in awe at all the awards and slowly walked to the desk where the lady from the intercom sat, Typing away while humming the song faintly playing in the background.

“Y/N, it’s nice to finally put a face to the name! George has not stopped talking about you since your first interview.” She beamed up at you.

“Really? Oh, well, I guess I’m glad I left a good impression.” You played with a hangnail on the side of your thumb, focusing on anything but the fact you were about have a job interview for the opportunity of a lifetime.  

“George will just be a few minutes, because one of his meetings is running a little late. If you want to take a seat over there by the fireplace He will be out soon and come to get you. If you need anything in the meantime, my name is Cynthia.” She gestured to the opposite side of the lobby where there were a group of green leather couches, looking pristine and comfortable.

“This sure beats your couch, huh Alex.” You plop down on the couch with a thud, feeling the plush memory foam of the cushion allowing you to sink into it.  

“Well you won’t have to sleep on any couches if you get this job.” Alex quips back.  

A familiar voice comes into ear shot. Very low and gravely with a very posh accent. “Well, I’m glad you could stop by to interview for the podcast before you fly out. We really appreciate your time,”

Another voice, that sounds much younger responds, a pretty accent on him that made his words sound like silk. “It’s really not a problem, I always remember where I started, George.” He sounds... Familiar. No one else was ever in your online interviews, so you can’t pinpoint who the voice belongs too.

The older man you recognize swoops around the corner and sees you and he stops in his tracks. “Y/N! I’m glad you made it! I’ll be with you in just a minute.”

“Absolutely Sir, take your time.” You said, a little more chipper than you wanted it to come out.  

“Oh, call me George,” he says as he continues towards the door. The man behind him follows around the corner and you recognize him immediately. You look over at Alex and her jaw could have been on the floor.

---

On the plane ride from YHZ to LCY the two of you decided to watch the new season of Stranger Things since it just came out and you needed something that would last you at least a good chunk of the ride. You downloaded them on Netflix the night before you left and started watching together on your iPad while it was propped up on the tiny tray table. You were watching together in silence until you saw a new character being introduced.

“Ooo... A new person? I’m interested.” Alex says as she leans in a little closer to the screen. When the face from behind the magazine appears, she backs away from the screen and slumps back in her seat turning to face you. “Damn I was hoping for another Steve Harrington to thirst over, what do you think Y/N-”

You were staring at the screen. Mouth agape, eyes fixed on the man on the screen in front of you.

“Y/N. Really? Joe Keery exists and THIS is who you see and immediately have the hots for?” Alex teased.

“I do not!” You hit her with your elbow and paused the show.

“I never knew you were into freaks, Y/N.” Alex laughs pretending to wipe drool from your mouth with her sleeve.

“Wait was I seriously drooling?” You grab your phone to look at yourself in your camera.

“HA! Gotcha! You do have the hots for him.” Alex laughed, trying to contain herself so she doesn’t annoy everyone on the plane.

“I need to find out who his actor is as soon as we land,” you said.  

---

You sat there in shock, and looked at Alex who was still sitting beside you. Eyes wide and mouth wide open. You elbow her and she comes back to reality, smoothing her hair and adjusting her posture so she looked as pretty and feminine as possible.  

“Y/N, this is Joseph Quinn. I don’t know if you’re a Stranger Things fan but he has just had his big break as their new addition to the main cast,” George said. Gesturing to Joseph. He was blushing at his introduction, not being used to celebrity status yet.  

You get up from your seat on the couch and start panicking immediately. You weren't mentally prepared for this interview, let alone meeting the man who somehow awakened something in you hadn’t felt in 3 years. “Yeah um hi, it’s nice to meet you Joseph. I’m Y/N Y/L/N since I guess we’re on full name basis here.”

He chuckles at your introduction. Oh my god he thinks I’m funny. “Oh, just call me Joe. It’s lovely to meet you Y/N, and this is?” He said gesturing to the girl beside you. Once again, she is stiff as a board with her mouth wide open in shock.

“Well, this is Alex. She is a big Stranger Things fan so I think she might be a little star struck right now,” you giggle as she comes to from hearing her name. She gets up and rushes over eagerly, taking Joe’s hand in a firm (and probably a little too enthusiastic) handshake.

“I can already tell you're not from here, so what brings you to The Surge? New project you’re chatting with George about?” He said taking in your features as he talks. Your head looks at the ground while you laugh, but you can still feel his big brown eyes on you. You felt a little weak in the knees.

“Y/N is here from a small town in eastern Canada, and she is actually interviewing to take over my position. I’m moving into a less hands on roll I can do from home as I ease myself into retirement,” he said. “I can’t wait to be able to travel with Rhonda and do the things we’ve talked about before we get too old.”

“Well that’s lovely, George. You deserve it. Good luck with the interview, Y/N. I may be seeing a lot more of you.” Joe said giving you a smile and reaching out his hand to shake yours. You were now acutely aware your hands are very clammy. You quickly rubbed your hand on your pant leg and he cupped your hand in between both of his, feeling something light in your hand as you closed it into a fist, and stuffed it in your pocket to look at later.  

“C-can I get a photo if you don’t mind?” Alex said, holding her phone out to you.

“Uh, sure absolutely,” Joe said, wrapping an arm around Alex as you back up and snap a photo of them.  

“One of those should work,” You said to Alex as she steals her phone out of your hand and Looks through the photos.

“Y/N. You better get this job. I want to walk in here to see Joe Keery walking out next.” She whispered in your ear as she walked back to the couches in the lobby.  

Joe looked at you and gave you a quick wink and cheeky smile as he headed out the door. George a few steps ahead to open it for him “Don’t be a stranger, Joe.” He said as Joe steps out the door.

“I’ll let you know when I’m back in London!” He calls back, walking to the car waiting for him.  

“Alright, Y/N, let’s get this party started shall we? Follow me.” George leads the way to a conference room with a large circular table with 15 chairs around it.  

“This is a lot bigger then the board room at my home station,” you said scanning your eyes at all the art and memorabilia that covered the walls, the newest one sitting on top of the table. A framed Hellfire club shirt with Joe’s signature.

“That’s an original from the show,” he brags. “Joe interned here as a kid before he started acting. I always knew he was going to go somewhere. So this is a big deal for us here, but enough about Joe. This is about you. How was your flight?”

“No delays, surprisingly,” you said. Feeling some of the nerves start to dissipate as you sit on opposite sides of the large table.  

“Well, I must say, it’s a first for us to be flying someone out for an interview, but with the rave references you got and how much you’ve accomplished in your short career, I can’t help but think you’d be a perfect fit to bring a breath of fresh air back into this station.” George said.

“Wow, well it’s a passion so I try to give my all in everything I do. When you love what you do, you never work a day in your life, right?” You ask.

“Absolutely, and I know I said this was an interview, but I actually just wanted to offer you the job in person,” he explained. “I think you can do a lot of good for this station, and nobody else seems to love the job as much as you do. What do you think about that?”

“A-absolutely I accept. Thank you so much, I will not let you down,” you stutter. Your hands shaking as you reach over the table to shake his hand.  

“Now, we will pay for your trip home and back to grab your things, but we have a fully furnished flat ready for you to move into,” he explained. “Joe’s new building had an opening and he just bought all  new furniture so he gave his old stuff to us to put in there for you.”

“Joe, as in the Joe I just met?” you asked.  

“Yeah, he just messaged me saying you can pop by before 5 o’clock tonight and he will give you the grand tour. Apparently, it’s pretty nice. Don’t worry about the first month's rent either, we will cover that for you, and it’s well within your budget,” he said, handing you a keycard. “This is for the station door. Welcome to the team, Y/N.”

“This is a dream come true, truly. Thank you for this opportunity, I am so excited to start,” you said.

“Well, I think you have a friend in the lobby waiting to hear the good news!” George holds the door open for you and you step out, walking down the hall to see Alex in the lobby. She looked at you with a hopeful gaze and you slowly revealed the key card from behind your back. She immediately jumped out of her seat and hugged you, picking you up and spinning you around.

“My best friend is a radio star!” She squealed.

“Yeah right,” you rolled your eyes when she put you down. “We will see about that.”

“It was a pleasure to meet you, Y/N. You as well, Alex. I’ll walk you out,” George said. Gesturing for the door.  

You dug in your pocket and felt what Joe put in your hand earlier. You pulled it out and noticed it was a gum wrapper. Confused, you unravel it to see a note written in red pen.

My number is on the back. Call me and I’ll show you the best place for a celebratory drink. Congratulations.

[bromcommie]

I don’t know how I’m meant to choose from such an enticing list of WIPs, “but we kick each other into gear (and off buildings)” is calling my name! Please tell me more!

Hi hi, thank you for dropping in! <3

Okay, so this is the first fic I ever started writing way back during quarantine as a sort of Endgame fix-it, and it's pretty much been dormant for years now because real life got in the way before I could develop all that much connecting plot. Funnily enough, I did also start with Sam refusing the shield (albeit under slightly different circumstances and with Steve not having committed complete character suicide), but for the most part it's just disconnected episodes of Sam and Bucky work-roadtripping around Europe and Asia, slowly figuring each other out and processing their own respective issues and grief + a healthy helping of random local color, OCs, and humor thrown in on the side.

Looking back on it there's so much I'd want to rework there but it's still dear to my heart, so I might eventually go back to it - especially because TFATWS left a lot to be desired, imho, and I'm still mad about it.

One of the more crack-adjacent partial episodes under the cut if you're interested:

More and more, he unexpectedly finds himself having to explain to people that hanging around the guy is not a very dangerous affair these days, strictly speaking, unless you count the occasional collateral damage to Sam’s nerves. It's all a bit unsettling, trying to justify a former international terrorist in the eyes of others like he’s a particularly snappy pitbull with a history of dogfighting: Yeah, he did almost throw that fan to the ground the other day, but they snuck up on us. No, he doesn’t like crowds, but a family get together is okay and he’s surprisingly good with kids. No, no, he doesn’t do that anymore, we’re trying to get him accustomed to more well-adjusted activities, like going for runs and sleeping more than 45 minutes a time. Yes, he’s actually a sweetheart, looking for his forever home. Sam briefly entertains the idea of putting that last one on Bucky’s Tinder profile while he’s sleeping. To be fair, he wouldn’t necessarily call whatever relationship they’ve managed to develop smooth sailing, either, or particularly sanity affirming. But neither is being constantly on the move chasing an unsubstantial lead and yet here they both are, essentially backpacking their asses all around Europe like the world’s most traumatized spring breakers. Here they fucking are. "Where are we, again?" Sam says, squinting down at his phone where the maps app is once again blanking out to a dull grey grid as if to personally spite him. "Poland," Bucky deadpans from the driver's seat but his expression's distracted, fingers tapping out an offbeat pattern on the wheel that clashes with the folky tune crackling in over the faint radio signal. "Hilarious. I meant which town are we about to pass through, I wanna try to look up a place to buy a charger for this thing," he says, sighing when his phone takes that as a blessing and finally gives out with a sad chirp. He casts a look out the window, the rows and rows of tall pine trees blurring together into near-impenetrable greens and maroons as the sun goes down. He hopes they find a place to crash soon — he's about ready to pass out himself, and his back is way past the days it could withstand sleeping in the car. Next to him, Bucky's very quiet save for the soft tap-tap-tap of his hands against the leather. "Barnes." "Hm?" "You have no clue where we are, do you." "No, of course I do. It's, uh." He shrugs, forcibly casual. Sam's going to strangle him. "It's a Polish, y'know. Municipality." "Can you just—" "Old. Probably been invaded a couple of times." "Bucky."

"Lotsa consonants in the name." "You said you knew this area," Sam accuses. "That you've been here recently." "I do," he insists, glaring through the windshield at the idyllic scenery like it spat at him and called his mother something untoward. "I did, at least, but then they had to go and change all the fucking signs, and the roads don't look the same, and the trees are all—" he waves a hand vaguely instead of finishing, like that's supposed to be sufficient explanation or at all helpful to Sam's growling stomach and their equally dead, equally useless phones. "Oh, it's the trees' fault? The trees are different from when you—" He cuts off, a niggling gear turning loud and loose somewhere in the back of his brain all of a sudden. The compounded sleep deprivation's really not helping in giving it a name and a meaning, scattering his thoughts in ten different directions. Something he read once, about trumpets, or— no, the archangel. Why that? They passed a church about an hour ago, but he hasn't been in so long his poppy's probably turning over in his grave, and anyway what does that have to do with— He blinks once, twice. Bucky resettles in the driver's seat, shifty-eyed as anything. The gear rattles, and turns, and turns, and then clicks. Not church. Not trumpets. Junior year of high school, AP History. His presentation on Gabriel Jones, PFC, and his role in running comms with local resistance members during an action, which got him a grudging pat on the back from the brass and shrapnel permanently lodged in the upper thigh. He managed to get himself and two members of his team, including his CO who got shot in the neck, out of the line of fire long enough to get medical treatment. He saved Captain America's life. It was an act of bravery, Sam'd told the class as his teacher nodded along gravely. It was a miracle any of them survived. They were down on supplies, and in the middle of the woods. In fucking Poland. "Oh, you didn't. Tell me you didn't." "What?" Bucky says, a little too defensive, in Sam's opinion, for someone who managed to get them lost in the Polish countryside by virtue of sheer hubris alone. "Tell me you didn't think you could navigate us through Poland," Sam says, slowly so it really sinks in, "with a bunch of jumbled memories of some damn woods from ninteen-forty-fucking-four."

And then in the next scene they talk about parental death, so. *massive shrugging emoji* Consistent tone, who?

[wannashiver]

tell us the dirtiest fantasy you've had recently.

recently? hmmmmm.....

I got one! okay so you asked for dirty, this isn't my fault, I can't help it. please do not judge me (but also kinda do lmao)

so a little while ago my brother and I went out on the town for a night - it was an overdue birthday present for me, so he spoilt me rotten; paying for everything and trying really hard for me to have a good night. it's not often I get to go out! he was really sweet and we had fun and got good and drunk

we're fairly close, for siblings, and we tell each other everything... consequently, we know each other's kinks (remarkably similar lol) and he knows that it's been quite a dry spell for me, so he offered to get on my tinder and find me someone to hookup with while we were at a club - and we weren't particularly quiet about it either. a couple of guys at the table next to us overheard what we were talking about and it all got pretty flirty but nothing ultimately happened, thems the breaks, what can you do ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

but what if it didn't though? what if they asked my brother about it rather than asking me, what if he explained all the kinks I like, what if he told them I liked it rough, I wanted them to choke me, I wanted to be held down and fucked hard while his friend took my mouth, what if they used me and left me on the floor while my brother waited outside confident that he'd done the right thing and I was having a good time while they pounded me, slapped me, choked me out until they were happy?

what if they paid him to do it?

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Monthly Follower Recs

Monthly follower recommendations for the month of May 2023

a game of chance (ao3) - danhoweiis

Summary: Phil worked at Chance and Counters, a board game cafe in North East London. One definite perk of the last few weeks had been the guy who Phil was now delivering a coffee too. Phil had been smitten from the second he stepped through the door which was something he now wished he hadn’t told his friend and manger Nate, so he could have saved himself being teased every time Cute Dan (as Phil had affectionately called him after overhearing someone say his name) came in

Broken Like You (ao3) - TearDrop1234

Summary: Dan and Phil meet at a theater in a nowhere town. Their friendship is instant, but the rest not so much.

not trying to hide it (ao3) - dvp_95

Summary: Phil's parents want him to get a flatmate. Bryony wants to get her newly-evicted mate off her couch. It’s not quite luck or fate, but Phil is thankful anyway.

Of Old Memories And Future Moments - irphanfic

Summary: ''Rummage inside Phil's bedside drawer‘‘ it said. Oh no. What would have happened if Dan had found something more interesting than a lip-balm inside Phil’s bedside drawer?

Swipe Right (ao3) - howellesterfics

Summary: Dan is tired of matching with sexually confused frat boys on Tinder. When he swipes right on Phil, he hopes that this time around things will be different, and well - they certainly are.

The Problem With Travelling During The Holidays (ao3) - Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan)

Summary: Dan is in a tricky situation, running to catch his connecting flight with no other than his annoying enemy right on his heels. If he could just get on the plane and be away from Lester that would save Christmas.

Luckily for Dan, things don't tend to go his way.

This is my Boyfriend (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: My parents are extremely homophobic and they're visiting, so can you pretend to be my boyfriend as an extra "fuck you"?

things we leave unspoken (ao3) - zvyozdochka (paperdaisies)

Summary: There were things Dan never expected Phil to find, and likewise, Phil never did tell Dan about the ring in his closet. After they collapsed in 2012, that wasn't exactly an option. But 2017 was a fresh start in so many ways- why not for them as well?

this is the place (where i don't feel lost) (ao3) - commonemergency

Summary: He loved it here. He loved being with Phil and his family. He loved not being on the internet or thinking about what people are saying online, he loved the walks and the talks and the freeness that being here brought. Or Dan spends Christmas and New Years Eve with the Lesters.

Undisclosed Desires (ao3) - outphan

Summary: Daniel Howell is UK's most popular musician. He loves his music, the world he's a part of. But Dan Howell doesn't. Then the director of his new music video quits and soon a storm begins that cannot be stopped.

We balance each other out on the seesaw of life (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Phil had dragged Dan to Isle of Man after his return home from tour. The sea air would do him good (even if it gave him hobbit hair) and he could be surrounded by Phil's family (who were his family too). He hadn’t actively planned to drag him onto a seesaw on a playground but it turned out to be a precious moment all the same.

with the lights out (ao3) - irrationalqueer

Summary: Dan’s been purposely brazen and provocative since basically the beginning, comfortable in the knowledge that his body and his whispered words can make Phil hot, keep him interested. But Phil’s been kind and sweet and thoughtful and when he flirts it just feels like honesty.

you can see it with the lights out (ao3) - calvinahobbes

Summary: Somehow it’s taken Dan until he got to Japan, but here it’s caught up with him, hit him like a freight train. Phil keeps laughing at him, showing him pictures on his phone of Dan’s face softened by it, posture loosened by it.