#this is inspired by conversations ive had with my bf

[tastefulstars]

"What's your plan for today?" Eddie asks in-between mouthfuls of cereal.

You hum and shrug.

"Not a whole lot, to be honest. Gonna do a tidy of the kitchen and then I've got a couple of readings to do for collage, but that's about it."

Eddie smiles at you while you talk, face soft and loving.

"Sounds perfect, baby. Can't be working too hard, that's my job."

You laugh quietly, moving closer and leaning against him. His arms wrap around you and his chin presses against the top of your head.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were trying to make me your kept housewife."

You feel his laughter from deep in his chest, he squeezes you.

"Maybe I am, baby. Maybe I am."

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

hi ella!! u dont have to answer this if u dont want to but lately ive been thinking about my gender and stuff and i just wanted to hear from someone who might have gone thru the same thing

sorry if this was messy im not very good at this

hey babe!! welcome on this journey! you left it all very open, i'm assuming bc you don't know where to start, which is very relatable (especially in the beginning) so i'll just tell you where it started for me and how i went from there?

somewhere at the end of 2020 something was wrong and i didn't know what. i felt uncomfortable in my body - even more than usual - and my clothes, everything. the heightened sense of discomfort was caused by being in lockdown and having a lot of time on my own, and especially not enough distractions yk. conversations with people about pronouns and gender made me upset, like i was defending myself. i had no idea where it was all coming from, tbh, until i pressed myself to fill in my own pronouns in the bios of my socials. and i couldn't. bc she/her felt wrong, like i was lying, while she/they or anything they felt right but really scary bc it was so new. and i have imposter syndrome so at first i was like 'am i even allowed?' and the answer is ofc yes. the pronoun that you think suits you is yours to claim.

this was also the time when i started listening to fine line (the song) like it was my only comfort, even though i had no idea why yet. tumblr mps brought me onto the journey of seeing harry's work and entire being through a gender lens, and things started clicking into place. it made way more sense to me to see h like that, and that helped me look at myself that way too. work backwards and view my childhood and all the blatant signs that i have always been like this, but just got lost here and there. it granted this insane new kindness to my old selves bc i was extending the same to harry. his fight to be creatively free and outrageously queer, extravagant, camp inspired me to finally break down those barriers in my mind of i can't wear that or that makes me look too much like that. i felt like an enormous weight fell off my shoulders, bc staying in that non-binary zone, and allowing myself to stay there, made me realise that everyone can do whatever they fucking want. i can identify as nb and go out looking like a character from clueless. the next day i might feel like looking like their skater bf and then i'll fucking do that! after years and years of being upset that i didn't look either feminine or masculine enough and trying to force myself to be one or the other, i finally started listening to my instincts and followed that fluidity.

if you're now struggling with allowing your transness, or just not yet comfortable with the idea, let the ambiguity wash over you and be very very very patient with yourself. that was the first step in allowing me to grow, so forgive your mistakes and be kind to yourself when you don't know the answer.

i hope this helps a little in your journey, and you're always welcome to come talk about it more! i love talking about it, as you can tell, bc it's very gender-affirming. (so you coming to talk about it for yourself is an amazing step!! proud of you!!)

[khodorkovskaya]

~*moscow review*~

i went to moscow for a week. here’s how it went.

i was v sad on the way there bc just before my flight i had a weird conversation with my bf (see previous posts lol) and i didn’t text him for a couple of days after that. but as soon as i reunited with my cousin i felt so so much better! but i still had weird thoughts about food, and since my cousin has an ed it was a bit uhhh weird idk a better word. but anyway being sad on the metro is a mood. ✌

i went to patriot park with my russian student. and omg you guys the cathedral on the photo is fucked up. as soon as i went in i wanted to cry, the vibes were so off. ive never felt this way at a church before. like i usually feel at home or, at worse, nothing (like at cathedral of christ the saviour lmao). but there i felt so fucking uncomfortable it was the worst. like the energy was so bad. and then i learnt that the cathedral is made from nazi weapons. the bad vibes make so much sense lol. anyway i still decided to pray even tho idk if it was legit bc a cathedral made out of nazi weapons doesn’t sound like the most effective place of worship. but i asked god to forgive my bf and help him. and also to forgive my little sister’s parents and make her healthy. and the usual stuff. 

i saw my grandma twice and we looked at all photos and stuff. and i found letters from my parents. i’ll translate one for you guys, it’s so heartbreaking. but it inspired me to love my boyfriend and accept him for everything that he does. 

my last night there we went to my favourite karaoke bar and it was a blast.

overall grade is 9/10! one point off bc i was sad. but everything else was great!

[murcuryretro]

3:09 a.m (est) 7-8-20

So JUST now, I was watching a T.V show called “Toys that made us” which actually inspired me to never stop dreaming. Althought the sales of toys have dramaticllly declined,the passion and creativity behind these toys is what makes them LEGENDARY. There are toys that will be forever KNOWN. Imagine creating something that never dies , making history as well. Amazing, truly inspiring. Now with that being said, decided to write down some of my thoughts before going to bed. Before logging in, the wifi randomly had cut off, cutting off the show I had been watching, and decided it was a sign to get on the laptop instead. I get on it, but to my “surprise” NO WIFI. I then ask my bf whos been sitting on the couch playing with his new switch for a few hours, pretty much since I got home from work Ive seen him sitting there and still is, IF he can please check the router. Anything the requires some brain power , is too much for him!!! I over loooked it for so many years, now its starting to bite me in the ass. He then gets up to check the wires, and ask if I had pay. I said no but its not due yet. Also even if it was overdue they dont CUT everything off until way after. ANYWHO, I use my hotspot so that I can check, and its not due until the 15th, SO AGAIN, i ask him to check the wires, because there were clear instructions on the screen about what might be wrong and it wasnt the WIFI it was the router itself. So we had internet , just wasn’t properly transmitted. So after asking him to check the router, he quickly starts complaining about the mess the last cable guy made, complaining how he cant turn it on and, giving me an attitude and a tone because he just can’t, doing the bare min, literally TOUCHED 1 wire and gave up, saying he feels better if someone else disconnects the wire to check, as he goes back on the couch, THEN complains how we HAVE To call them and give them a piece of our mind since we are paying customers. Funny thing is , when we says “we”, he means ME. He would never actually get on the phone and explain to a company his fustrations. It would be me, while hes most likely sitting on the couch playing video games or REALLY mad sitting on the couch not playing video games, because of the wifi. What bothers me most is the lack of responsiblity he takes on. Also like he wants to avoid all grown men responsiblities, its become the biggest turn-off and been thinking of ways to have real conversation with him without him getting butt hurt because he is very sensitive, also he plays victim and I cant let him do that. He is not a victim at all , in anyway, but the second i confront him about something he is trying to avoid, he plays victim. Im so tired of being the one that has to constantly asses every situation were ever in. Hes the man for goodness sake. In reality he’s a beta and I’m in alpha. which makes this kinda hard. Previous relationship , we were both alphas and as much as we did bump heads, we also agreed on a lot and learned things together as the are new to us. Other times, we both take the lead in situations and it was like working with 2 heads rather than 1. Now it feels like just 1 head with 2 people. And like they always say, 2 heads are BETTER than 1. I just feel so lost, because I’m so use to have a Man that can handle business without me, who uses their OWN judgement, I don’t even want to talk down on him, but as time goes on and were not doing anything for ourselves,I start to feel this hole, void, in my heart, something is missing, something is wrong. Why is he such a good person with a great heart but lacks what makes a person resilent. For years he has lied to everyone about having his license. Why ? Im not sure, not that I lived with him for a over a year, I know why, hes scared of real life responsiblities that he would have to handle himself because no one else will. No health insurance, even tho its free now in days, because thats just another responiblity he does not want or care to have, Even for his own health. UNLESS I push him, which I have brought up so many times, but I can not do it for him.Then his license, I have asked him to get it and he said okay, never did, asked him again, said he will do it, does it and forgets the date, then he says he will make a new date, havent heard anything about. I dont know how much more I need to annoy him about ?! Since I’ve met him  Im the ONLY driver, driving us everywhere. Any place, its me. Since 2016, its 2020. Not sure whats stopping him, He also brags a lot about the money he makes and he saves it, buys some toys for himself, and takes me out on dinner dates. Which I apprecaite so much of course, but I wish he would do more for himself. Hes just so scared of life I believe, I could be wrong, but thats all he seems to prove since Ive met him! Very sensitive and he likes attention. NEVER noticed that until a FEW people brought that up and I do see that very clearly now. Its hard to have a partner who only values what he says and disregard me. I can let him talk and I go along with it, he on the other hand, cant wait for me to stop talking and he never gives any kinda feedback because he wasnt really listening. Im getting pretty tired of it. Im starting to think I may have made the wrong decision. Whenever something is wrong its like I need to be the leader of the problem and fix it myself, and I think he thinks I like the idea of being the head bitch in charge but in reality its exhausting and just one sided. I have never seen him actually take control of a critical situation without my help. I always end up being the one to finalize everything, as if he HAS to go thru me. Which I do appreciate but it just also feels like he does it to hand me down the rest of the solution. Like NO! Once in a while would be nice if he did things that turn out fine, all alone. NEVER happens. I know of everything and mostly fix it myself.Even THINGS, Hes not hands on so things that would need a quick fix, something my dad would fix easily, john would have a total meltdown and give up fast as fuck. I thought having a person this gentel would be good for my soul but I think its the opposite. Since the day that we rekindle our friendship 2 years ago,I started using hard drugs, LITERALLY the day after we hung out at a show we were both at. I havent been okay since dec 2018 and i though dating him would make me feel better and help fix that void in me, so far, nothing.... I can see I’m stringing this relationship along and Im not sure if I should continue.I have very high hopes with living an amazing life with him, I always saw it in him , that WE would be perfect for each other. I think I based a book by its cover and the first two pages and ran with it. Without reading the whole book, and its not turning out so much as what I thought we would be. He quickly became like a grandpa once we started to date, and then telling me he didnt like when i went out, it was just so shocking considering that we , him, I and all my friends would go all the time, he loved he things I loved to do too, so wtf ?! He almost changed into a person I didnt want to date, the second we started to date. So confusing and almost decieved. Almost he faked how chill he was to get closer to me, It wasnt until a year ish later that I realized , I have been seeing only 1 side of him, the side he wanted me to see, and I loved it, and then the real him I didnt Know and frankly Im not sure if I really like. He loves me so fucking much, but I dont feel fulfilled. Something feels very off, I am missing something and I truly dont know what it is. I hope that we can help each other grow whether alone or together, I just want to know what I wanna do with my life and I need more motivation than what Im getting right now. I feel like im slowing my life down and going no where. I dont like it and I dont want this going on any longer.I NEED to find my way!!!! I hope hes there either as my bf or my friend and we work things out. wish me luck in whatever  I choose to do. THNXX  

[matronaa]

Jungkook “fuckboy?” drabble

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Word count: 1,637

Genre: Fluff/mentions of smut?

Okay look its about 1 in the morning while im writing this and i just got done literally scrolling thru @jungshookz  e n t i r e page and honestly ive been delusionally laughing over her stories for like an hour and a half like the tattooartist!jungkook fic legit killed me i love it  and i’m probably going to force my friend to check her out because legit i love it so much and she seems like such a funny person and if she sees this 1) ily and ur writing and i wanna be friends but idk how to start a conversation because im a awKwARd bEan and 2) im sorry for probably spamming ur notifications with likes okay i couldnt help it so now im inspired for the first time in a while to write but im way to loopy to put together an actual fic so enjoy this ig

Okay i should stop rambling (okay just note that im so sleep deprived that i had to google ‘words for excessive talking’ to remember the word rambling because im an idiot and i cant think and ooo its 1:11 am rn make a wish b*tches)

Okay im sorry ill begin~

A/n all of this is completely unedited and if bad grammar annoys you srry not srry

Lets talk about what fuckboy!jungkook is oki

I feel like in reality there are just a bunch of rumors about him but hes so smol and hes the quiet type so he doesnt have the energy to dismiss them

Like im sorry soft jungkook is way to good in my mind rn okay #cuddles4days im not in the mood for him to strangle me with his amazing biceps

Anyway

you never rlly met him in the 4 years of going to the same highschool as him (since you’re in those smart people classes like humanities) until senior year

You and him had the same AP Lit. class lmao english class is  l i t

Which surprised you bc of the rumors like i thought he was a badboy ?? arent those normally idiots ??

Nah my bby is a smart nugget, he just likes to look hella bf 25/8

First day of school cliche where you show up late to class and have to sit next to him because i  d i e  for those plots okay

But you dont know thats him because you’ve never seen him, so you’re confused on why most of the girls keep glaring at you

But soon enough you catch on and you’re like fml

And then the professor is like “where you are sitting is your assigned seating for the rest of the year” and you’re like f m L

He ends up introducing himself to you because i mean like table buddies

But hes really nervous because hes a cute little bean and you’re hella cute cuz lets be honest ur probably wearing like basic black leggings and a hoodie with your hood over your head to hide the bed hair you didnt feel like brushing that morning

Oh, just me? Okay…

He likes ur name because it rolls off the tongue and he thinks it suits you even tho he doesnt know you

Yet ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

You dont really think hes a fuckboy because he seems so nice and he has the cutest lil bunny smile sEE

That is until after school u end up getting to ur locker late because u left something in one of your classes

And u see him pinning a girl against the lockers down the hall

And ur like well shit nvm

And u quickly get ur shit and go because das  a w k w a r d

But then he sees u run off and hes like awh crap i dun fucked up

A few weeks go by and u notice he barely really comes to class so u usually sit alone

On days he does come his chair seems extra close to yours and he’s basically smothering you

But u dont mind because he smells nice

And on the days he does come you get kinda excited because

1) you get a partner who doesnt expect you to do all of the work

2) this boy cute when he gets all intelligent

Ur  like “yes pls continue speaking about the essay we are writing that i have no idea is on because i kept getting lost in the sound of ur voice”

He notices when u zone out because you start staring at his lips when hes talking and he thinks its the cutest thing

One day u get assigned a week long project and ur close enough friends with jungkook to basically scold and force him to come to class all week

But only if he can force u to come to his house to work on it after school

Which you’re low key nervous of because ur going to a ‘fuckboy’s house’ by yourself

And u dont wanna do the dirty because ur a pure child haha not for long

But you agree anyway

And honestly even after the project is done (which you got an A on) you continue going over to his house because his bed is comfortable and he always has snacks

And his mom loves you

Like legit on days you dont go the next day you do she’s like “wheRE WERE YOU”

When the semester is over the professor lets you pick seats but you both enjoy each other’s company so you stay seated together.

finally ur at his house one day and ur just laying on his bed scrolling thru insta and he’s sitting on his bean bag in the corner on his phone and u look up at him and realise

Shit

You like him

Like a lot

And u mentally face palm because this was not supposed to happen

But it happened and you’re too far down the hole to climb out

Sometimes u end up napping at his house after school because his bed is more comfortable than yours and one friday night u wake up in his arms

And its like the best feeling ever

Its so warm and hes so cuddly hes like latched onto you

You stay under the warm blankets before you question when he even got in bed since he was playing video games before you fell asleep

And then his phone lights up and ofc you check it for him bc ur a nosey bitch

But not before you observed how adorable he was while he was sleeping

Nope not creepy at all

its his friend tae texting him (you didn’t really know his friends since you had different friend groups)

You check it and its smth like “stop staring at y/n while shes sleeping and reply u creep”

And you’re like w a t

So you scroll up and see that while u were sleeping jungkook went on a full rant on how cute u are and how whipped he is

And ur like holy fadoodles dis boy likes me

And so u decided to text tae like “this is y/n, does he actually like me”

Which turns into you both having a convo on how thirsty jungkook is until he wakes up

Hes like wtf r u doing and he snatches the phone and reads through your messages with tae while u like sit up to stare at him

And he’s still half asleep so it takes him to realise whats going on

“Omfg y/n i can explain-”

He starts rambling about how long he had been crushing on u and that he didn’t want to tell you because you seemed uninterested so he kept it a secret and never told anyone

And honestly he was freaking out because the onE tiMe he tells anyone that he likes you, you find out

But while he’s rambling you’re coming up with an excuse to text your mom that you’re spending the night at his house, so you just say he’s not feeling well and his parents are gone for the weekend.

Lmao she doesnt care she’s just like “lmao ik ur lying but have fun dont get pregnant”

Or Maybe thats just my mom idk

You have to shut him up by snatching his phone out of his hands and kissing him

When you pull away you’re just like “you talk too much lmao”

You explain to him that you like him too and u just get under the covers again and snuggle up next to him, and he wraps his arms around you

And you stay like that for a while before hes like “its late you should get home”

And you tell him you’re staying the night whether he likes it or not

And he is so down for that

But then you end up just spending the weekend there because why not his parents love you

And every night is just filled with cuddling, watching netflix, making out, late night snacks, etc.

Saturday night he gets a lil touchy and soon enough ur like straddling him and grinding your hips against his

But then he’s like “Ive never done this before” and you c o m b u s t

Ur like aren’t you like the school fuckboy how have you not done this

And he tells you its all just rumors and hes too lazy to set the record straight

And you basically decide to take things slow that night since it was you’re first time too and honestly it was so cute

It wasn’t really steamy rough sex it was more soft fluffy love making that is filled with giggling and exploring and appreciating each other

That was definitely the night you fell in love with him

Which is big because you thought love was gross

The next day you’re cuddling and he’s like “you know ur my gf now”

And ur like duh

You start going on cute dates after that like going to cafes or amusement parks

He loved taking you to the beach during the summer because u looked gr8 in a bikini

You found out you were going to the same college with was fantastic, so you decided to rent an apartment together nearby the campus instead of living in a dorm.

Which normally you’d be against because moving in together so quickly ?? but you felt different like this relationship was going to last

UNTIL HE CHEATED

Lmao jk gotcha bitch

My baby is too pure and innocent to cheat

Well innocent until you both get into bed and then oh lord it gets steamy

He wants to experiment with like e v e r y t h i n g and honestly you were down

But ofc you set some boundaries.

There were lines he couldn’t cross

I mean sometimes he tried but you shut that down real quick

Overall your relationship was perfect and you couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend

I mean he brought you pizza rolls and dr pepper to ‘study dates’ how could you not love him.

Oml it took me over an hour to write this its like 2:30 am why am i awake anyway imma go to bed now, idk ur name jungshookz but pls write more fanfics i need more to read late at night okay gnite

[chickenkooks]

asdfghjkl ignore everyone who’s on ur ass about updating tra!! you take ur time — take as long as u nEED it’s ur fic & u should write it when inspiration strikes & when u have the tIME. u have a life & responsibilities & a sweet bf to attend to & thaTS FINEE. ppl get dat thru their heads! it’s no fun being pressured to write, & it’s especially no fun releasing a piece of work ur not even happy about sO TAKE ALL THE TIME U NEED SWEETIE DONT FEEL PRESSURED AND DONT RUSH 1/2

— (2/2) THE CREATIVE PROCESS !!! WE’LL BE PATIENTLY FOR CHP 5 & IT DONT MATTER IF IT TAKES A YEAR — AS LONG AS UR HAPPY WITH THE OUTCOME THATS ALL THAT MATTERS! 💫💓⭐️💞🌟 hope ur having an aMAZING day

BTW (forgot to add this in w/ my last ask) bUT UR THE QUEEN OF CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT like idk wtf is going on in the preview bUT DAMN DO U KNOW HOW TO GET THINGS TO MOVE FROM “i hate ur fucking ass” to “i caRE ABOUT U OKAY?!” and the dialogue asdfghjkl it was amazing & it felt ?? so ?? real?? i had to take my time reading it word by word to just digest the whole thig bCZU WOW ur dialogues r just so powerful?? and beautiful?? and ily :’) 🌸⭐️💓🌟💞💫🌼

I LOVE YOUUUUUU thank you so much i really appreciate the time u took to send me this!!!!!! its kind of. daunting just to think about how little progress ive made in such little time so when people remind me its been a while im just like. i know. how do i NOT know. its irrelevent to remind me because i beat myself up over it every day. but i cant drastically change my life to pump out a 30k chapter (that i do for free and for my own enjoyment). so messages i appreciate is ones that tell me they dont mind the wait but that theyre EXCITED for the new chapter. maybe something like “i really like tra and im SO excited for blah blah blah. what do you think jungkook would do if BLAH BLAH BLAH” like??? hearing what people think is gonna happen and answering questions just renews my excitement for the series and gets me thinking about things that i didnt even think about. SO IF U WANT SOMETHING TO HAPPEN IN TRA JUST NAME IT AND ILL LET YOU KNOW IF THATS SOMETHING IVE CONSIDERED

but really thank you so, so much. IM IN AWE EVERY TIME PEOPLE TELL ME THEY ENJOY THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT BECAUSE THATS SO NICE omg i know ive been wondering if this is too much but. its not like jungkook is lying. he woud have no reason to lie to the oc because shes already giving him what he wants. jungkook has a soul and a heart (hint hint hint but he has a HEART OF GOLD ACTUALLY its just hard to get to it) and the conversation they had just shows how much he cares. i think he sees the oc now as a bruised puppy and an actual human being with feelings he still finds her annoying as shit. he will always find her annoying as shit. but they’re a lot more alike than they think and i think jungkook is starting to realize that (another hint hint hint but the oc is much slower to realize things than jungkook LMAO) ILY TOO

[choco-chip-cookie]

SugarDaddy!Cal Pt.2

Okay for starters…I made Y/BF/N Jamie because I’m typing this on my phone and typing Y/BF/N is annoying lmaoo sorry. And the anon who originally requested this has asked me to focus this mainly on black girls/POC, so I’m extra hyped.

Also I honestly think I might make this a series? The beautiful and most talented Gabby (@lukeysgirl) kinda inspired me to, but I didn’t have a prompt. Might also steal her idea of a new chapter every 100 notes…what do you guys think?

One/ Two/ Three/ Four/Five/Six/Seven/Eight/ Nine/Ten/Eleven/Twelve/Thirteen/Fourteen/Fifteen Sixteen/ Seventeen/ Eighteen/ Nineteen/Twenty{END}

You checked over your outfit once more in the full body mirror before walking carefully down the stairs. You’ve had more than one encounter attempting to run down the stairs before someone reached your house and it always ended badly.

“You look so pretty!” Jamie grinned as she turned around on the couch to see you.

“All I did was my hair and makeup, Jamie. I have on shorts and a shirt.”

“Can’t ever take a compliment.” She rolled her eyes playfully.“ What time is Calum coming?”

You checked the time on your phone before answering,“Any minute now.”

“You’re excited, aren’t you? I mean there’s a hot, young Australian who wants to be your sugar daddy. How much better can life get?”

“I don’t know. I’m not a sexual person, Jamie, how am I just going to be there at his every beckoning call?”

“You’ll do it, trust me.” She laughed, her smile widening when she heard someone knock on the door.

Jamie hopped up and raced to the door, her eyes widening for a second at being so close to one of her idols. You shook your head at the girl, collecting your belongings and walking over to the door to stand behind her.

“H-hi.”

“Hey.” He smiled,“uh, is Y/N here?”

“Yeah, she’s right here.” Jamie reached back to grab your arm and you smiled nervously.

“Hey.”

“Hey, princess.” He gave you a once over, a slight smirk on his face.“ You ready?”

“Yeah.” You nodded, stepping out of the house and saying goodbye to your friend.

Calum opened the passenger’s door for you and you quickly climbed in, strapping yourself in. He jogged around the front of the car and got in himself, starting the car and driving off.

“Your legs look amazing.” He practically moaned and you felt your face heat up.

“Thank you.”

“You’re a shy one, huh?"he questioned as he stopped at a red light, looking towards you for the few moments he could.

"More like awkward.” You laughed lightly.“ Plus I’ve never been in a predicament where I had a sugar daddy either so..”

“So you are agreeing, then?” Calum smiled and you nodded your head slightly.

“Yeah…just need to set some ground rules.”

“Fuck, this is going to be so much fun.” Calum mumbled under his breath.

You could tell he was beyond excited, his smile as big as a kid’s on Christmas Day. You on the other hand wasn’t as excited as Calum. You really didn’t understand how it worked at all, and it didn’t help that he was basically somewhat a stranger. You were more nervous than anything.

“Yesterday you told me you don’t really like fancy restaurants.” He began and you looked over at him.“So, I figured you’d like a pizza parlor because who doesn’t like pizza?”

“Crazy people don’t like pizza.”

“Exactly.”

It only took a few minutes longer before he pulled up at the pizza parlor. He had told you all about how he and his band mates usually come around here often since it’s secluded and they have the best pizza in town. After the waiter had set you at your table and took your drink order, Calum had asked you to tell him more about yourself. You told him the typical stuff: where you’re from, your hobbies, favorite foods and colors. He never interrupted and seemed as if he found you truly intriguing.

“Are you two ready to order?” The older blonde smiled at the couple and Calum nodded.

“The usual for me, Kelly.”

“Extra cheese or hold off this time?” She questioned.

“Eh, extra cheese wouldn’t hurt.” He shrugged.

She then turned to you with a kind smile.“ As for you, sugarpop?”

Calum snorted at the nickname, finding it ironic to your current situation. As you explained what you wanted on your pizza, Calum scrunched his nose up in disgust.

“Did you say pineapples?”

“Of course.” You smiled.“ What is pizza without pineapples?”

“That’s disgusting.”

“Oh my God.” You shook your head.“ I don’t think this deal is going to work out.”

Calum laughed at this, taking a sip of his drink before speaking again.“ Ive never tried it, but I’m pretty positive it’s awful.”

“Well, I’m just going to have to change your mind.” You smiled and he bit his lip as the two of you stared at each other.

“I can’t wait to get you alone.”

“About that…” you began, reaching up to twirl a coily strand of hair nervously.“ H-How does this work? Like what do I have to do?”

“Oh, uh…I guess as long as you make me happy and do me favors, you can ask for whatever you want.”

“So, if I wanted a Gucci purse I’d have to have sex with you for it?”

“It doesn’t have to be just sex.” He shrugged.“ You could always suc-”

“Refill?” Kelly questioned and Calum tried to hold in his laughter at the expression on your face.

You nodded your head as she poured the drink into the cup and walked away. Calum yelped when you kicked him under the table, not being able hold it in any longer.

“It’s not funny!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want anyone to know about this.” You demanded.“ I don’t want to be in the media or known as your hoe.”

“Already ahead of you on that one." 

"And…” you trailed as you thought of the rest of your demands before you fully accepted.“ I’m not into kinky stuff, so don’t try to over do it. I’ve only had sex a couple of times since I’ve graduated.”

“How old are you again?”

“Nineteen, sophomore in college.”

“Okay, that’s cool.”

You saw Calum’s face light up and the smell of freshly baked pizza filled your nose. You were practically drooling by the time Kelly sat your small dish pizza in front of you and the two of you stopped your conversation to dig in.

“Holy shit, it’s so good.” You moaned as you chewed the pizza, nearly coughing when you heard Calum’s comment.

“You’ll be moaning that a lot more soon.”

He couldn’t help but to laugh at your embarrassed expression, finding your innocence to the situation beyond amusing. You were just glad that due to your melanin skin, your face never flushed red and further embarrassed you.

“I’m starting to think you like seeing me flustered, Hood.”

“It’s quite amusing.” He shrugged.

“Here, you have to try this!” You held a piece of your pizza up and he shook his head.

“No thanks.”

“Come on, Calum, it’s amazing.” You stood to move over to his side of the booth, the slice of pizza still in your clutch.“Take a bite.”

“There’s too many pineapples on that slice. What if I don’t like it.” He tried to reason, but you weren’t having it.

“Taste it.”

“No.”

“Please.” You begged, giving him what used to be your famous puppy pout. You haven’t pulled that one in a while.

“If I taste it, can I get my first favor tonight?”

“Uh…” you looked at the ground.

You have to start sometime soon anyway. You spoke to yourself before nodding your head in agreement.

“Fine.” He gave in, taking a bite of the pizza.

You watched his expression intensely as he chewed the pizza, trying to analyze how he was feeling. After he swallowed, he only stared back at you before leaning in and taking another bite.

“You like it!” You cheered in triumph and he rolled his eyes, playfully, pulling the slice from your grasp.”I told you it was amazing.”

“Shut up.”

You and Calum both finished the personal pans of pizza, laughing throughout the whole conversation the two of you had. Once again Calum helped you into the car before driving you back to your home.

“What type of music do you like?”

“I’m more of a RnB type of girl. Yanno, like Chris Brown, Kehlani, Rihanna.” You list a couple of your favorite artist.

“You listen to any of our music?”

“Honestly, no. The only time I do is whenever my best friend blasts it in the car, but it pretty catchy.” You admitted.“ Maybe we can sit and listen to it together sometime.”

“Sounds pretty cool.” He agreed.“Well, here’s your stop.”

Calum parked his car in front of your apartment complex and you unbuckled your seat belt.

“Quick question.”

“Yes?”

“Do you consider me tying you up or blindfolding you too kinky?” He asked you with a serious face and you blinked a couple of times, deciding on your answer.

“I don’t think there’s nothing wrong with being tied up.” You finally said, giving him a flirty smile and he grinned.

Calum, for the fourth time tonight, jogged around the car and opened the door for you. After you stood up and gathered your belongings, you were startled when Calum pushed you up against the now closed car door. He was so close that you could smell the minty gum he was chewing and the smell of his cologne. Somewhere mixed in was the hint of coconut and you quickly realized that you’d fall in love with the strange mixture.

“Calum..?”

“You promised me a favor, remember?”

Then his lips connected with yours. The kiss was simple, no tongue was even involved at first, but when you pulled back and saw the fire in Calum’s  eyes, you knew you needed more. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him in for another kiss, his tongue darting inside of your mouth the second he got a chance. As your tongues clashed together, mixing the taste of mint and the sweet tea you had brought to go, neither of you could get enough. Calum’s hand trailed down your body, rubbing the sides of your thighs and trailing back up to rest on your plump but, lightly massaging the supple skin there.

“Y/N?” Your neighbor, Connor, and his boyfriend,Felix, stopped with their mouth agape as they saw the position you were in.You pulled back quickly and waved awkwardly at the two, tugging at your clothes.

“Hey, you guys. What’s up?”

“Girl, you’re so coming over for drinks tonight.” Felix winked and the couple began to walk to their apartment.

You sighed and looked back at Calum, wanting nothing more than to have his lips against yours once more. He smirked and licked his now swollen lips, eyeing you like you were the last meal on earth.

“What?” You laughed lightly at the look, pushing your curly strands away from your face.

“I can see you’re not all that shy. You just need the right person to bring the freak out of you.”

“And I’m guessing you think you’re the right person?” You teased and he pulled you close to him once again, but this time his hand snaked down in between your legs.

Praise the lord for shorts. You thought, glad that he didn’t have easy access to your most private part.

“I know I’m that person.” He spoke lowly, his voice raspier than what it was not too long ago. He ghosted his lips down the base of your throat, planting a soft kiss to your collarbone. “And you secretly know it too.”

“Calum, my friends are staring at us through their window.” You almost whispered, not trusting your voice if it were any louder.

Calum chuckled lowly pulling away from you and looking behind him to see that indeed, the two guys were not so secretly peering at you through the window with no shame at all.

“See you tomorrow?”

“Uh, sure. I guess so.”

“Think I want to take you to the park on the other side of town. It’s gotta nice view.”

“Yeah, that sounds good.” You agreed.

Calum pressed a kiss to your lips and lightly sucked on your bottom one before going to get into his car. You waved timidly, getting a wink in return before he pulled off, leaving you to recollect your thoughts.

“Who the hell is that, Y/N?!” Connor yelled from his window and you threw your hands up in the air, exasperated.

“What the hell, Connor?!”

“Hurry your pretty little ass up here, Felix is making martinis!”

You simply rolled your eyes, laughing at the situation you were in and making your way up to their apartment. Maybe having a sugar daddy wouldn’t be such a bad idea at all.

[gendryw4ters-blog]

19, 20, and 21 for the fic asks!!

aaah thank you so much for the ask sierra omg!! i hope youre having a great day!!

19: Stephen King once said that his muse is a man who lives in the basement. Do you have a muse?okay…. not to be…. That Person…. but it’s literally my bf. there are so many fics that i’ve written that contain conversations that we’ve had before in person ourselves, and like cause im someone who often writes from their own experience and this is also the best love ive ever experienced (like! romantically i mean since friend love!! rocks!! i love my friends), so yeah there are often definitely elements of the bf in the more romantic type stuff i write. that’s a muse right? someone who inspires stuff?? oh god i feel like ive wrongly defined muse and my whole life is collapsing around me  

OH another muse i have (if we’re running on what i think a muse is)! is Tommy Shelby from Peaky Blinders, though this is more for non-fanworks (ironically). whenever i had to do character pieces for creative writing class i would literally always write Tommy and just change the names. he’s my number one son. i can guarantee if you ever read some of my original stuff he’d be there, lingering. i love him.

20: Describe your perfect writing conditions.there’s music playing. that’s literally it. there are other factors too but they’re so varied and wild that it’d be pointless listing any of them beyond the fact that there’s music playing ahah, like- it could be 2am and i could be blasting ABBA and i could polish off a 4k word fic, or it could be a rainy day and i could be listening to alvvays and starting off a sweet little drabble. all i need!! is music!

also! i already answered 21 here!! 

thanks again for the ask awh!!

[uknown-author]

1:Full name on your I.D? Me: Ayanda wakwa Ngema :). 2:Ever been caught having sex? Me: Not yet but I wish somebody does, maan I have the hottest sex I swear 3:Three things I always have with me? Me: Phone, eucalyptus oil and a book that usually takes me 6 months to read 4:First thing I do when I get up is... Me: Snooze the alarm, cuddle for the last time with my King then check the time.  5:On a Friday night I'd rather be... Me: Eating good food and wine, great conversation and mellow music on the background with my King 6:My last words will be... Me: “I am convinced, rebirths feel like this’’ 7:My favorite thing is... Me: Reading and mind stimulating convos. 8:Ideal age I'd like to be married by is.... Me: 22...haha 9:Ever slept with your best friend's bf/gf? Me: no. 10:Last book you read... Me: Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, great read. 11:That movie or TV show that taught you how to kiss. Me: urhm...honestly it wasn't a tv show or movie that taught me how to kiss....it was this mirror i had stashed all the time inside my school bag. 12:Right now I'd rather be... Me: On a roadtrip to an unknown destination with my King. 13:That car you'd rob a bank for. Me: ha! 14:If you won the lotto what would you do with the money? Me: Buy a house in the woods, get me a nice old school beetle, buy mother her dream home and fund my current projects. 15:Place with great food in your opinion? Me: Eish, i will answer this properly the day Ive traveled most countries on this Earth. 16:Black or Red lingerie? Me: both. black for causal days...and that red number when im feeling sunsual for my king. 17:Phone Model. Me: The berry 18. Are you happy with what you're currently doing? me:No, If it were by me I would be drafting my resignation letter, go home and spend my days loving, taking good care of my King, traveling, writing, eating different dishes from all over, shopping, gardening, designing and taking good care of my ‘fro. 19:Would you stay with your bf/gf if he or she was paralyzed from the waist down? Me: yes.               20:Would you be satisfied with all you have achieved if you died today? Me: ha....kind of 21:Favorite drink... Me: Dry red wine or natural sweet red wine. 22:Places you'd love to visit before you died. Me: every place that exists on planet Earth. 23:Why are you single/in a relationship? Me: Because a man is not an island. 24:That tweep you have a crush on? Me: urhm...... 25:Every dated outside your race? Me: no 26:Your fashion inspiration? Me: my moods. 27:How many languages can you speak? Me: 2 :) 28:tweeps I'd love to invite for lunch. Me: none 29:Artist you'd sell you soul to see live in S.A me: Erykah Badu