a few years ago, in university first year, a very close friend doodled these little cute cartoon cats on my copy of hamlet we'd studied for class, in the blank pages at the back of the book. one cat was drawn holding yorick's skull and crying. another was stabbing a small feline polonius hiding behind the curtain. i got him to draw these for me because he was bored one evening, and he was always drawing on any spare paper he could find. (it turns out he even signed the cat cartoons, at the bottom of the page. i didn't realize that until tonight.)
that friend no longer talks to me, or any of the classmates we were all friends with that year. he cut ties with us at the end of the course— stopped reaching out, deleted all of his social media. the next time any of us saw him on campus the following year, he would try to walk away as fast as possible, or pretend he didn't know who we were. none of us ever found out what happened to him, for him to block us all out.
some of us from the class we were in together saw a fantastic live production of hamlet, a couple weeks ago, to commemorate the text we'd studied during that course. he wasn't there, obviously, but i still have my copy of hamlet, with his cat doodles in it. i can't get rid of it, and i won't. because everything else i have left of that friend is discord chatlogs that'll be gone one day, and so this is the only tangible, physical proof i have left that he existed. that we were friends.
i don't know where i'm going with this. i miss you some days still, friend. i hope you're still out there drawing your little cartoon cats.
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Had to write a three-page screenplay script for a "Discovery" for class. Didn't have any further instructions. It's super off-the-cuff, but I wanted to share it. Happy pride <3
INT. COLLEGE DORM - NIGHT.
A college student sits at his desk, sketching. It's a one room apartment, and his roommate is sound asleep. He's sketching in the light of a single lamp, being quiet. The student, GABE (male, 19) is drawing a cartoon version of himself. He's studying outfits from a fashion catalogue, drawing himself in different ones. He bites the tip of his pencil, not feeling the piece he's working on. He rolls his chair back, reeling away from the desk. Gabe puts his hands in his hair, leaning back and looking at the ceiling. He lets out a long exhale. It's late.
After a moment, he rolls back to the desk. Tapping the pencil to his head, he flips through the pages. It's an unremarkable task, stopping on a random page. Oh, the women's fashion section. It has simple, practical outfits for girls, including a jean skirt. Gabe peers at it. Fuck it, it's late. He erases the pants of one of his drawings and pencils in a skirt instead.
He pauses.
He stares at it.
Something here is weird.
He goes to erase it, but once he does, he just draws it in again. This time with more care. More detail. He stares at it again.
Tears well up in his eyes.
GABE
(whispering)
…what the fuck?
Gabe, confused, touches his hand to his eye. He looks at the tear on his finger. Huh? He stares at the drawing again. He looks back at his roommate, sound asleep. He's having some sort of moment, but he has to be quiet. He frantically looks back at his sketchbook.
GABE
(whispering)
Uh…
A beat.
Gabe starts drawing himself again. In the women's fashion this time. It's like a whole different world. He's drawing like crazy. It's all flowing out of him. He draws another.
And another. Slowly, details start to adjust in his art.
Longer hair. Longer eyelashes. Daintier poses. More smiles.
He's got tears running down his face, but he's not wearing any emotion. He's not sure what to think.
CUT TO
An indeterminate amount of time later. Gabe stares at his notebook. It's full. It's lots of drawings of him.
As…well, he guesses as a girl. But he's not one. He flips through the book again, then turns towards the dark window his desk resides next to. He looks at himself. Patchy facial hair and a shaggy haircut.
CUT TO
INT. DORM HALLWAY - NIGHT
Gabe rushes down the hallway, looking frantic. He's carrying a bag.
INT. DORM BATHROOM - NIGHT
It's quiet inside the bathroom. No one else occupies the space. It's just him and his reflection. His reflection? Maybe their reflection. Her reflection? No, that's not right. Is it right? Gabe stares at himself intently. The whirring of a trimmer cuts through the silence. He brings it up to his facial hair, shearing away a week's worth of fuzz.
He looks at himself like it's not him in the mirror. He holds a hand up to his face, feeling it.
It's not enough. Not yet. He has to know.
He gets out his phone and starts typing.
HOW TO SHAVE FACIAL HAIR OFHG
He frantically types, misspelling. He backspaces like his life depends on it.
HOW TO SHAVE FACIAL HAIR OFF ALL
THE WAY
He quickly scans an article and then gets to work, pulling some miscellaneous bathroom supplies out of his bag. Shaving cream. A razor. Gifts for cleaning up at college. He wets his face. Applies the shaving cream. Does careful strokes down his cheeks and neck. Slowly, someone reveals themselves.
They lean down, splashing themselves with water. They look up, and it's a different person. She's completely shaved her facial hair off. Gabe hasn't seen herself like this since she was in freshman year of high school, before facial hair was even an option. She reaches up and touches her face, smooth to the touch. She stares, enamored. A moment. She grabs a towel and dries her face off, and then looks again. She's so…different. But that's her! That's Gabe! Is it Gabe? She doesn't know anymore. A close up to her eyes. Her nose. Her lips. Her neck. It's all so new. She starts laughing. She laughs, and tears well up in her eyes a little. She laughs some more. In moments, she's full on crying tears of joy. She doesn't know why. But she is! That's her!
CUT TO
INT. SECONDHAND - DAY
Gabe is at a clothing rack, searching for something. She looks around, a little embarrassed. She browses for a moment before finding what she wants. She passes by some more racks carefully, trying not to be too obvious. She slips into the changing room, then locks the door.
GABE
…okay.
Gabe unbuckles her belt. In a moment, she's wearing black leggings. She hikes them up, then unclips a gaudy skirt from the clothes-hanger. She stares at it, a little scared of it and what it represents. She bites her lip. She stretches it out and then steps in. She looks up at the mirror.
Oh shit, that's her! That's her!
Gabe is wearing a long, patterned skirt and a tee-shirt. The colors don't match at all, and the patterns don't either.
She looks a bit like a yard sale of a person. But it's her!
She spins around, watching the fabric flow out from her hips in a whirlwind of stripes and insignia. She laughs again.
This is her! This is her!
This is her!
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