#this is just a really long look into how I treat people when I'm infatuated and how it. fuckin sucks.

[p1utofairy]

PAC: “one hit of your love addicted me. now i’m strung out on you, darlin’, can’t you see?” 🕊️🕰️✨📨

• what will your first love be like?

disclaimer ✩: take what resonates, leave what doesn't. i wanted to try something new by including edits but ofc tumblr is annoying and doesn’t let you post more than 1 video ugh. hope you all enjoy this though! love you much.

PILE ONE.

hey pile 1 🎀 right off the bat i gotta say…your person could possibly give anakin skywalker vibes visually lolololol very tall, handsome and broody. i'm also thinking of jon snow from ‘game of thrones’ hmmm i think this just ties into the fact that your person is in their bag a good 85% of the time! they analyze and process their thoughts & emotions a lot, and this won’t change especially when it comes to their love and devotion for you. they are very intense and purposeful when it comes to love — there’s no faking it or forcing it. they say what they mean, and mean what they say. they hold themselves to a very high standard so i think they’ll be in their head a lot when it comes down to approaching you/courting you. they want to make sure that they’re doing and saying the right things…they want to make sure that you’re comfortable. they will prioritize you and take the time out to really get to know you! they don’t want to do the whole cliché “wyd” texts or just take you out to the movies. no, they want to be able to take you to places you’ve never been before & treat you to beautiful experiences that will stay with you forever. that’s how highly they think of you, pile 1! they think you deserve the best of the best and they will do everything in their power to give you just that. this person has been through a lot in their life and they’ve felt so alone and misunderstood. 9x out of 10 if they just got out of a relationship, their ex didn’t understand them or couldn’t match them emotionally. your person is big on “everything happens for a reason” so when you come into their life they’re going to feel so much joy and relief, it’s like you’re their saving grace. it’s that energy of — where have you been all my life? that scene of anakin and padmé in ‘star wars: attack of the clones’ on the balcony is coming to mind…the longing in their eyes before they share their first kiss. a lot of people may talk about y'alls relationship/how y'all got together. it's nothing scandalous…i just see people being infatuated? i’m picking up a lot of outside influences/opinions so just be careful of that…don't have too many people in your business cause i’m picking up that some of these people don’t have the best intentions and are secretly jealous. it’s giving very much “fan behavior” hm they might keep tabs or ask lots of questions about you and your person’s relationship…it’s weird. i think for some of you, you’ve been single for a long time, so it’s going to be a shock to a lot of people when you pop out with this person. once your person comes into your life you may start to notice multiple people show romantic interest in you and you’ll be like??? where tf were y’all at when i was single for ____ years?! LMFAOOOOO that’s hilarious but back to your first love, it’ll be beautifully intense. i see you giggling a lot, staring at your person with big starry eyes and a lot of physical touch between you two. it may not even be in a flashy way? i can just see you coming up behind them and placing a hand on their back to make your presence known…i see a lot of moments of them holding you in their arms and resting their forehead against yours — they’re looking at you with so much intensity…deep concentration and passion etched across their face and you just break out into this bright smile and they just melt. you look so innocent compared to them like there’s this light in your eyes that’s left their own a long time ago, but they feel so safe…so free to be themselves when they’re with you. you’re their heart, pile 1. i’m hearing that scene from ‘the bear’ when carmy tells sydney “i couldn’t do it without you. i wouldn’t even want to do it without you…” AWWWWEEEEEE.

via tnqkins on tiktok

other channeled messages:

who's that girl? by eve, shravana moon/rising, doe eyes, baby pink, curly hair, strong arms, yin & yang energy, younger/age difference, vishaka scorpio moon, hypnotic gaze, 10:10, mirroring each other, distinct cologne

PILE TWO.

heyyy pile 2! you will NOT expect to fall in love with this person wow, your feelings for them will actually catch you off guard. this person is not your usual type and that's what's so intriguing about them…you’ll never know what to expect with them; they’ll keep you on your toes. i think that you keep repeating cycles or keep going back to someone who is no good for you, but once you meet this person there’s no going back. you’ll gravitate towards them like a month drawn to a flame lol you can’t fight these feelings even if you wanted to. you might meet this person through a mutual friend or meet them in a group setting, i see other people around you both as you talk and get to know each other. there’s so much warmth that this person radiates…they feel like home to you. a hug from them could fix your bad day, a kiss from them could make your heart skip a beat 🥹 and their smile?! to see them smile at you will give you an instant serotonin boost. this relationship feels divine…it feels fated. it’s giving “right person at the right time” like everything leading up to this connection will make so much sense once you’re actually together. some of you that chose this pile are quick to self-sabotage or cut off a relationship before you can get too emotionally invested. you’ve built these walls up because you’ve been through a lot of shit and you don’t want the extra baggage a relationship can sometimes bring, but it’s gonna be different with this person. you’re going to be so open to receiving their love and reciprocating it, there’s going to be such a healthy balance between you two. i’m hearing that this person is going to be a wish fulfillment, pile 2. this might be a long distance relationship at first — you might have to travel to see each other or you both will like to travel to different places together. they will value you so much! they will wine and dine you, surprise you with your favorite things and make sure you always have whatever your heart desires. they love you and they will have no problem showing that.

other channeled messages:

short king, sagittarius, bisexual, when harry met sally, opposites attract, capricorn man, matcha latte, boyfriend by big time rush, saturn dominant, west virgina, virgo/6H placements, ruby, freckles

PILE THREE.

pile 333 🦢 whoa i'm already picking up that this is a love that only grows stronger and better with time; it ages like fine wine. WOW WOW WOW. i'm ngl i feel like this person is your divine counterpart…when i say you two are a match made in heaven — i mean it. you complete each other in ways that other people will never truly understand. there’s this unspoken love and desire between you two initially; i see you both stealing a lot of glances at each other, waiting for the other to cave in and say something…anything. you both want to close that space between you but don’t know exactly how to. i don’t think either of you has ever felt this way before about anybody 😮‍💨 this love is strong AF. it’s never a dull moment between you two, there’s always that underlying passion and spark ready to consume you both. i’m picking up that either your ex or their ex is going to be very envious of this relationship. they almost feel blindsided in a sense…they thought you were going to come back to them and give them another chance, so it's going to make them feel some type of way when they see that you’ve moved on. please be cautious of this ex pile 3…they don’t have good intentions at all and i pick up an obsessive vibe from them. we are blocking that all the way out 🧿 anyways! your person’s love language is more than likely quality time…they loveeeeeee spending time with you and stepping out of their comfort zone to try things that you like. there’s a solid friendship at the root of this connection pile 3…like not only is this person your lover, but they’re also your best friend wrapped into one. you will give them the key to your heart and vice versa. any other options or third party situations will be cut off/left behind because all you both can see is each other! nothing and no one can tear this relationship down because it’s built on such a strong foundation, you can see yourself with this person years down the line from now and they feel the exact same way. you’re home to them. i know this is your first love pile 3 but i wouldn’t be surprised if they popped the question 💍 — i'm just sayinnnnnnnnnn!

other channeled messages:

feel it by jacquees ft. lloyd & rich homie quan, la perla lingerie, just left a toxic relationship, rock the boat by aaliyah, air sign placements, 26, 111, lemon drop, leo, jaded by drake

[ghostgirl101]

Legit ANYTHING Corey related- im head over hEELS for that man rn

Im also a sucker for fluff ;)

Dating Corey Cunningham Would Be Like This:

A/N: Might as well start with the dating hcs 🙃 requests are open if you want more for this guy. Please keep in mind that I'm not comfortable writing smut yet though; I've noted that on my inbox page and pinned post, but I've been getting quite a few smutty asks 😅

🔪• Corey's been through a lot, and to find a person willing to give him a chance and treat him like a person who matters... I absolutely believe he'd turn into a soft yandere. He's head over heels in love, protective to the point of killing anyone who tries to hurt you or take you away from him, and obsessively infatuated. He lives for you, and he'd die for you, period.

🔪• You probably meet him when he's being pushed around by a group of bullies somewhere in Haddonfield, and manage to get them off his back for a while, with a string of hateful comments. The boy's stunned that someone's standing up for him, and when you help him get his glasses back on after they were slapped off his face, he's stunned all over again. It takes Corey a good minute to stop stuttering and staring at you with wide, dopey eyes and form an actual sentence to introduce himself.

🔪• When you take him back to yours to patch him up, you can't help but notice his breath hitch at your soft touches, such a contrast from the rough shoves and harsh words he gets day after day outside. Heart eyes to the extreme as you concentrate on stopping any blood, and apologise when it stings. Corey barely notices it, and when you pull away as you finish, he chases your hand for a second before he blinks back into reality, heat rushing to his cheeks as he looks down at his feet and thanks you.

🔪• He has no idea why you're so nice to him, but from that day on, he's hooked. You're gonna start seeing him randomly pop up wherever you are, and at first, you assume it's because Corey wants to have you around so it discourages people from picking on him. Nope. He wouldn't mind if he was kicked around, if you could lean in close and clean him up so caringly again. He's fallen hard and very quickly, especially when you reassure him that you know he didn't kill that boy on purpose. You believe him? He almost cries, and looks up at you in wonder, with a hopeful "really?"

🔪• Corey Cunningham has found someone that sees him as a person instead of a monster, and he adores that the person is you. It doesn't take him long to ask him out; it is hard for him to get the courage to, since he's worried that he might be going too fast and certainly aiming too high with you. Saying yes to him will just fully unleash Corey being the clingiest, doting, protective boyfriend you'll ever know. He won't let you go now that he's found you. If he can't have you, no one can.

🔪• He's pretty goofy with how he acts and what he says, but you've told him it's cute, so he won't try to change. Being with you, he wants to keep you happy all the time, and keeps you to himself as much as possible, just in case you start listening to what others have got to say about him. Whatever you tell him though, he'll try to remember as much as possible, so he can how he's been listening by bringing it up again or giving you a little gift related to it.

🔪• To be honest, Corey's a really sweet, doting lover, and he looks at you like you're an angel whenever you're close together, or just working around the house. He'll follow you around like a lost puppy, and has puppy eyes to match, constantly clinging to you and wanting to help with whatever he can. It could get a little annoying if you don't want a shadow around you all the time, but he wants you as happy as possible, so if you tell him your boundaries, he'll eagerly follow them.

🔪• Corey's obsessiveness grows the closer you get, to the point where he goes as far as to kill for you. After he runs into Michael Myers, he takes both of your hands and looks you straight in the eyes excitedly as he tells you that he's not afraid of people anymore, and that he loves that you're always there to protect him. But now, he wants to be the one to protect you. He loves you to death, and he wants to prove it. It's up to you to decide whether or not to let him deal with anyone that upsets you with his violent methods, but he can and will if you say the word.

🔪• If you happen to meet Michael Myers, he won't kill you, but he won't be all soft with you either. His idea of being nice is not killing you, and that's that. Gradually, gradually, he'll decide to protect you, even opting to lurk around in the shadows and check on you and Corey every now and then, like a twisted kind of father figure or friend. So, if you're ever in trouble, you've got Haddonfield's boogeymen behind you when you need them.

🔪• It's scary to see the level of protectiveness and unhidden anger in Corey's eyes when someone's rude to you in front of him, a dark glare in his usually kind eyes. Suddenly, they've gone missing, or they've died in suspicious circumstances, Corey not paying any attention to the news report as he hugs you from where you're curled up on his lap with a small frown on your face. If you ask him for the truth, if he did it for you, he'll shrug and nod, "Well... yeah, I- I did it for you. I love you..." and that's all the explanation there really is.

🔪• He likes taking you for rides on his motorcycle in the evening, just to feel your arms embrace him tightly and a proud grin on his face when he knows you're enjoying it. Corey tries carrying you back upstairs afterwards, which ends up with you both collapsing in a heap on the bed, and him engulfing you with a tight hug with kisses planted on every inch of skin he can find.

🔪• Speaking of affection, Corey can be pretty smothering with it. He's shy and awkward at first, but after hugging you for the first time, and having your first kiss, he can't get enough of your attention and affection. He'll drink it up with a lovesick smile and lean into all of your touches. He can show how needy he is by whining in protest whenever you break a kiss for air, and latches back on in a second.

🔪• The pet names he gives you can be the basic 'baby' and 'sweetheart,' but Corey calls you stronger, more meaningful names at intimate moments too. 'Angel' is a very common one that he coos when he wakes you up gently in the mornings, burying his face in your neck, or whenever you're cleaning him up after a fight or a kill.

🔪• The times when he's most vulnerable, when you've got him wrapped around your finger playing with his curls, he'll whisper to you how all of him belongs to you, that he'll do anything for you, die for you. He's being absolutely honest, and it's nice to hear, but sometimes, when your eyes meet his desperate, loving gaze, you have to tell him that you don't want him to do anything too extreme for you, that you love him just the way he is.

🔪• You can never just kiss Corey briefly before you leave the house to work or anything. He'll draw out any affection you give him for as long as he can, so it's a hard task to prise his hands off your waist with a promise that you'll be done with work soon. It often ends up with him trailing after you, holding your hand tightly and stroking the back of it absentmindedly with his thumb.

🔪• Being in a relationship with Corey Cunningham is full of loving attention, obsessively so, and to know that he'd go as far to basically go on a killing spree for you is nice in a weird kind of way? There's no hope of getting out of it though, because he's happily devoted to you now, and that's just the way he likes it. God forbid anyone who tries messing with it.

[eldritch-spouse]

https://www.tumblr.com/eldritch-spouse/749681172914782208/i-want-to-know-how-many-monsters-spend-their?source=share

Imagine Santi's perfect match is that poor bastrad's friend.

The monster is just ranting about getting their heart broken by Santi and is mad at both Santi and their friend. Their mad at their friend because they did the one thing she told them not to do, never fall in love with a thot and their mad at Santi because he could've just been profesional and let them down gently instead of absolutely oblitirating their existence over text (lmao Gallon).

So one day she sees Santi working so obviously she goes over there to confornt him, "I know your buisness doesn't include any emontional factors but you don't have to be such a cold blooded bitch when you rejected my friend. You could've just said no like-" and she goes on a yap session about why she think what he did was wrong.

I think Santi would be overjoyed but also annoyed, like yay my match, but also why is she on my buisness, did my old client send her?

["How DARE you not date my pathetic wet cat friend??!??"]

While Santi would usually be pretty direct in these cases, telling you that his policy and limits are very clear, and that you need a day in his shoes (or lack thereof) to understand what it's like to deal with people who just can't buzz off or think that they're now entitled to his time and affection-

He's not even annoyed.

All the calmness in the world seems to be channeled by the incubus while you point your finger so hard at him you're almost touching him. Not very bright of you, a lesser demon might have snapped it. Santi insists that the two of you sit down to talk over this.

Then come the excuses. See, he has to be mean. When someone gets as in love as your poor (idotic) friend, a simple "I'm not available for a relationship" won't work effectively and neither will a "Piss off", the demon has to hurt them deliberately so that the rose-colored lenses shatter. Would you really prefer it if Santi had gently turned your friend down, only for said friend to keep trying over and over, getting their self-esteem destroyed in the long process? He was quick and merciful, if you think about it.

Ir's definitely very bizarre that he keeps looking so lovingly at you during this conversation. It might even make you guess that's why people keep falling in love with him, because he makes those swoons and sighs and casts infatuated eyes at his clients. But no, in this instance, they are as sincere as it gets. And Santi will try to hurry this conversation along so he can convince you to have him for the night. To see for yourself that there's no reason for someone minimally intelligent to fall in love from his services.

Though, naturally, the challenge is only a ruse, and Santi will treat you in a way that'll keep you addicted to him, coming back over and over, so that he has time to form a bond, to explain the concepts of matching to you. This will be more complicated than usual, he acknowledges it, but like Hell he's giving up.

[asiandra-dash]

Hi i saw u wanna rewrite akikasa hcs PLEASE WRITE ME SOME I BEG /nf /lh

HJKJSKDKHS AKIKASA anyways I was referring to a short story I wrote a while ago but THIS!!! IS (I think) MY FIRST AKIKASA RELATED ASK!!!! I MUST WRITE!!!!!! All I have to do is figure out which thoughts are based on canon and which ones are AUs-

I took 18 days to finally post this because I kept getting ideas and had to force myself to stop because this is way too long 888 words man this ain't fanfiction also if this is illegible I'm sorry none of my headcanon posts will ever be organized no beta or read more we die like my grades after my orchestra field trip

Starting with basic shit Akito is SO so in denial about his feelings and when he's finally fed up with it he chucks it down to infatuation (It is not)

And Tsukasa is an oblivious idiot to everything even though he has a stupid crush on this ginger he just refuses to say anything because he still thinks Akito despises his guts

My guy every little bit of physical contact you make with carrot head makes him look like color hex #ff0000 RGB 255, 0, 0 how do you not notice this

Tsukasa fell first, and they both fell harder >:)

You know Tsukasa'a 1* card where Akito saved the poor man from a spider or something that's when it happened Tsukasa didn't know at first cause like haha who the hell falls in love with someone over something so small I barely even know the guy

If Akito confessed first, after a long moment of awkward silence and Akito wishing the floor would eat him alive, Tsukasa is suddenly hugging him and crying (That's a yes btw)

If Tsukasa confessed first, it would take a bit (probably a few days or weeks) but eventually Akito with the support of everyone finally accepts his feelings for Tsukasa (He didn't tell anyone about the confession btw it was probably Akiyama or one of Tsukasa's friends that told everyone also the threat of Rui was probably another reason he couldn't deny lmao)

Every date, and I mean EVERY SINGLE DATE, Tsukasa will always bring or buy some cheesecakes or pancakes for Akito

And if he doesn't the next time he brings lunch for Akito he'll bring him more cheesecake than he usually does to make up for it

When Tsukasa found out Akito's favorite flowers were sunflowers, he sometimes brings one for him too :D

Tsukasa probably got a pair of sunflower clip-on earrings too (Or whatever they're called)

Tsukasa loves to tackle hug Akito and it never fails to make the ginger laugh <3

Tsukasa borrows Akito's jackets a lot (At least twice a week).

Akito complains about it but let's be honest he loves it when he gets it back and all he smells on it is Tsukasa's scent

Tsukasa loves giving gifts to Akito even if there's no special occasion, usually some type of jewelry like earrings and the next day Akito's most likely wearing it

Obviously, they invite each other to their shows, and sometimes their other bandmates too

During WxS shows Akito's supportive and is internally loud but during VBS concerts Tsukasa is HOLLERING Akito's name and singing along if he knows the lyrics it's embarrassing but if you look closely enough you can tell it hypes up Akito a little more and he tries even harder (An has taken note of this and teases him nonstop about it)

Neither of them are a huge fan of PDA but if you stare long enough you'll probably miss a sneaky little kiss when you blink

That or if Tsukasa's in a really good mood he'll practically cling to Akito (Which is like 50% of the time tbh)

That one post I made on my side blog is real and so is the first tag

Yes Ena and Saki are supportive but holy shit Akito wants to fucking strangle Ena whenever she brings it up (This applies to An too)

Tsukasa helps Akito be more open with his feelings and Akito helps Tsukasa deal with negativity better

Around people, Akito still treats Tsukasa how he would (if Tsukasa isn't being clingy) but once they're alone Akito acts like he's touch starved and refuses to leave Tsukasa alone

Akito sometimes helps Tsukasa with practicing for his shows. He's obviously not as good but he's trying and Tsukasa appreciates his efforts

Tell Akito to say wonderhoy and he'll look at you like you're fucking insane but have Tsukasa tell him and he'll say it as unenthusiastically as he can manage

And then Tsukasa will look at him all :((( and Akito does it with more energy and "jesus fucking christ the things I do to make Tsukasa happy" (It's just a wonderhoy idk why you're so pissed /hj)

I do not understand Japanese and I am not caught up on that one event story with furry Akito so correct me if I'm wrong (about the italicized part) but before Akito gets over his fear of dogs Tsukasa always made sure they would steer clear of them and if one suddenly appeared this blond pink theatre kid is going to protect his pathetic fucking boyfriend with his life

Rui: Is that a hickey? | Tsukasa: No! It’s just a mosquito bite. | Akito, walking into the room: Hey, guys. | Rui: Hi, mosquito.

Whenever one of them stays up really late when staying over. the other tries to convince them to go to bed and cuddle/snuggle with them and it works.

Tsukasa practically begs meanwhile, if possible, Akito hugs Tsukasa from behind and basically just collapses onto him half asleep mumbling into his ear (Can you tell I'm tired it's 1 AM and I got 3 hours of sleep yesterday I'm running off of a power nap rn)

Obviously, Tsukasa can't do anything with Akito like that so he basically carries Akito to the room of whoever they're staying at

Akikasa supremacy WHO'S WITH ME AKIKASA!!!!!!! (I'm dying on a hill please)

Divider / Reply Icon made by me! ( 1 | 2 )

[live-laugh-lenney]

he said recently in a side channel video that he had a cat ,,,, opinions on mini arthurtv cat meeting reader for the first time ⁉️

also i want to be a reoccurring anon i feel like i should have like a signature of an emoji

yes, yes to being a reoccurring anon! i've never had one before... do you want the honour of choosing the emoji yourself or shall i pick it?

it's a childhood pet.

a little kitten, from a rescue animal shelter on the island of jersey, that they had gotten because his younger sisters were always asking for a pet to have at home. a little kitten that he was never fussed about but grew to absolutely adore when she would trot into his room and take refuge on the end of his bed. a little kitten that was so loved and well-looked after with toys and treats.

so when arthur brought yn to jersey for the first time, to properly and formerly meet his family for the first time, the cat had been included in those introductions.

she's greeted by his younger sisters as they rush forward to greet her with a hug and a hello, the smell of a delicious roast in the oven that his step-dad was keeping an eye on, and the tightest hug from his mum as they finally met in person as opposed to facetime calls and pictures that were sent in their family group chat. accepting the offer of a cup of tea, a couple of biscuits, and answering his step-dad's question on if she wanted sprouts with her dinner or not.

"beware, there's probably a tiny predator on my bed."

yn stares at him in confusion as she follows him up the stairs, their luggage for the week ahead held tightly in his hands as he led her to where his childhood bedroom used to be. still holding a sense of his teenage years but with a slightly more adult-ish look to it... with a lot of neutral colours going on, plenty of family photos hung on the walls yet his sea-lion teddy bear sitting in between his two pillows at the head of the bed.

"this is the family cat," arthur smiles at the cat curled up on his duvet, snoozing away and blissfully unaware of the chaos that had only just happened upon her arrival, "she's pretty used to people, you know, in a house that has homed a lot of kids."

she giggles softly and crouches down at the end of his bed, resting her elbows on the edge of the bed as she dug her fingers gently into the tabby fur of the cat that was happily purring.

"she's so sweet."

"always seemed to have a soft spot for me," he sets their suitcases on the floor beneath his window and settles himself down on his bed, "i don't know why."

"she's not an idiot," yn grins cheekily at him and his cheeks flush a pink colour, "she knows a handsome man when she sees one."

she joins him on the bed, laying flat next to him and staring at the ceiling above her, taking in everything that was happening around her. how she was in the childhood bedroom of the man she's recently come to have an infatuation with, getting to know him on a much more deeper and personal level, maturing their relationship by going one step further and meeting his family. comforting, swallowed by the love his family had for each other, a homely feel to where she was spending the next week with him.

"i'm glad you decided to come with me," he says softly, turning his head and looking at her, "really glad."

"i'm glad you asked me to come with you," she responds and rolls onto her side, poking his shoulder with her fingertip, "next is my lot. are you ready for that?"

"from all the stories i've heard, i'm quite excited," he laughs and she situates herself comfortably against his body, head resting on his chest and a leg thrown over his, "the hour flight really takes it out of me, you know?"

she nods and yawns, as if on cue, and he snickers softly.

and it's not long before his cat joins them, except she chooses to lay against yn instead of arthur, and he finds it the sweetest thing. how she lays her head on yn's hand, stretched out and tucked ever so comfortably in the curve of her body, eyes closed in content and the purrs filling the room.

"she likes you."

"i take that as a win," yn grins tiredly, "i think i could cope with your family not liking me. i can win them over easy. but your cat? oh god."

"you're just too loveable," he says, "she knows a pretty girl when she sees one." xx

[spicysix]

🔀 stargyle (if you’re still accepting these <3)

yes i am! thank you for sending ♡ i got Butter by BTS

ooohoho so i'm thinking spicy six get-together and they're all a few (a lot) drinks in and so they start talking about their love sex lives and steve's bragging on and on about how he's the best flirt, that people fall to his feet all the time and robin and eddie are begrudgingly agreeing because they go clubbing together and steve always has a line of people wanting him and he never leaves alone. steve's like "yeah i treat them right y'know can't help it i just got it" with the most ridiculously smug smile. jonathan looks at nancy who just shrugs and robin points it out that steve was able to make nancy 'cool head' wheeler fall for his harrington charm so there's no arguing there. and jonathan's like, ok nancy's a big one but it's not possible that you are able to just make everyone melt and steve's like "bet" so jonathan looks at argyle who's on the armchair just smoking his joint and watching the whole banter with a soft smile. argyle's the chilliest dude there is. he doesn't yearn. he doesn't pine. things like that are simple for him, jonathan's seen him getting it time and time again and he might get a little nervous sometimes but he goes straight for the prize and his sincerity always makes him more attractive to people (cue to argyle's soft smile turning into a funny smirk and his eyebrow rising as jonathan is so very adamant in defending his chilliness... no one else notices, but eddie thinks that's Suspicious). so anyway jonathan dares steve to make argyle lose his shit with the harrington charm, is so sure steve can't do it and steve's like "you're gonna eat your words byers"

long story short steve spends the next two weeks wooing argyle in every way he can, brings the harrington charm to a top level, stuff no one's seen before, the best dates he can come up with and. it really is kind of hard, he hates to admit it. but argyle is always so casual about stuff. he nevers turns steve down and he compliments his efforts but it's really so different than the infatuated responses steve's used to

so the next biweekly spicy six get-together comes around and jonathan asks steve for his results and steve's shoulders drop and he looks down ready to be humiliated when he feels argyle's arms on his shoulder and wow he never noticed how good the guy smells, and is he playing with steve's ear and are those goosebumps steve's feeling? argyle looks jonathan straight in the eyes and is like "my man here won the bet, he's deliciously charming" and steve's never been more confused because he really didn't think it was working, and is argyle lying for him? "are you lying for him?" robin asks because let's be honest she knows everything that happened because steve told her, the boy's ego is crushed. argyle shrugs without taking his arm off of steve's shoulders "nah man i really can look chill from the outside but i was mentally like twirling my hair n shit" he giggles, GIGGLES. steve's going feral. then he turns to steve and jesus christ his face is so close and he looks so pretty "guess i should have my turn to woo you now huh stevie-boy?" with a shit eating grin and steve is fucking red everywhere and eddie is cackling in the background and jonathan and nancy share a funny look as if that has been the plan all along...

send me a 🔀 and a pairing, and i’ll shuffle my playlist and make an au based on the first song that comes up

[oh-katsuki]

okay I just read your stsg fic and right after the tendou fic and for some reason my brain started combining the two and I started thinking stsg + stepcest + older brothers best friend and idk....I'm into it I think

hmmNMJFDNAGFJKRNGVJKREN oh ill THROW UP THAT'S SO FNRIJEAGVNREJGNRJBVNREJLKN SEXXYYY HFNREJKANVGJREHKABV sorry if this makes so sense im like drooling and hollering at the screen and everything

cw: fem!reader, use of she/her pronouns, stepcest (but gojo lowkey is imagining it's incest sorry), i say SISTER CUNT!, vaginal fingering, threesome, suguru is basically a spectator but he loves it, everyone is so strange and disgusting ill moan

ugh satoru as the overly clingy big brother type. the kind that makes the people around him mildly uncomfortable because he absolutely has a sister complex. he's even gone so far as to share an apartment with you while you're in university, makes the financial burden a little easier.

he's like.... infatuated. he thinks that you're fucking precious and so damn pretty it makes him sick. satoru just can't get over how obsessed with you he is. to him, you're the perfect little sister.

the age gap isn't all that big. four years, give or take a few, but satoru still treats you like you'll break. he likes to spoil you. likes to buy you things and feed you and make you feel pretty.

thing is though, he also obsesses over who you date. satoru likes to know who you're seeing, when you're seeing them, and how far you're going with them. of course, you'd never tell him if you were fucking someone or not, so he's left to assume. satoru's gotta fill in the gaps. he knows you're having sex though. there's really no way he couldn't, what with the way you stay out at night.

and suguru... suguru is satoru's best friend from college. a bit of a brute, with a silver tongue and a borderline twisted sense of humor, the two of them are like peas in a pod.

of course, suguru knows you. satoru's pretty little sister who is either an idiot or willfully ignorant to her brother's overt sexual obsession with her. it's a little funny to suguru actually, just how fucked up satoru is over you. of course, he probably would be too if he lived in the place you showered in. that would send any guy in his right might a little fucking bonkers and satoru has never been all too deep on the sane end of things.

course, things change a little when suguru starts letting satoru talk about you. he listens while satoru goes on about the guy you're seeing, the person you fucked this weekend, how pretty you looked this morning when you woke up. you know, the weird and obsessive shit satoru is pretty much known for when it comes to you.

things just sort of... happen from there out. they watch you when you're in the room, touch you softly while you're sitting on the couch with them, till eventually, they've got you spread open across their laps with satoru's fingers in your pussy and suguru coaxing you both through it.

suguru watches over your shoulder from where satoru is crouched between your legs, slowly sliding his fingers in and out of you. it's the gentlest of touches, just to make you feel good. satoru wants to make you feel good so badly.

he just wants to see you fall apart, to melt at his fingertips. so he curls his fingers slowly while his best friend watches with a chin resting on your shoulder. suguru's got you from under your thighs, holding them up and spread so that satoru can get a proper angle on your tight sister cunt.

and you, pretty you, are caught in the middle. satoru mumbles into your thigh that it's okay, that you're allowed to feel good with them, that he's going to take care of his little sister (and he doesn't bother to add the 'step' before it). suguru, who you've always been intimidated by, speaks directly into your ear, asking if you plan on cumming for satoru any time soon, to which satoru remarks that you can take as long as you want.

big brother's gonna make you feel good, okay? he says.

it's so fucking disgusting that you think you might cum on the spot.

[alovelyburn]

I’m surprised that you mentioned people interpreted Casca’s “I wanna be with him as best I can, I wanna be the sword at his hip to help him achieve his dream” as non-romantic.

I mean, to me at least, that piece of dialogue, with Casca looking like she’s blushing at the thought of Griffith, seemed blatantly romantic. Yeah, she says that it was a smokescreen of her real want to be Griffith’s lover, but I thought it was pretty obvious she was infatuated with Griffith and that wanting to be his sword carried implication of being a romantic partner rather than just really useful swordswoman.

I mean, fucking hell, how do you look at this panel and think “Yeah, she just wants to be useful to the one who saved her, no romantic intentions included.”

I'm not sure whether you're talking about the people who think Casca was never in love with Griffith or the ones who thought she had a motivation other than wanting to be with Griffith (not totally the same thing), so I'm going to address both. Ahem!

For the first one, I'd say it's less that people don't realize the romantic implications of Casca's behavior here than that they think she's wrong about it. From what I've seen the general line from people who don't believe Casca was in love with Griffith is something like, "Casca idolized and idealized Griffith and mistook her admiration for love, and only realized that she wasn't really in love with him when she fell in love with Guts and saw what real love is like."

The thing is I do understand where they're coming from on that because of the vague way she talks about it in the meadow scene, but at the same time it doesn't make any sense. Because while Casca may idolize Griffith she idealized him less than anyone else in the Hawks, and also because in context there's no way for "I lied about what I said in the cave" to mean anything other than that she was (at one point, at least) in love with him, since her statement is basically "I lied when I said I wanted to be his sword. I'm not stupid, I knew he was going to marry the princess so i thought if I couldn't be a woman to him then maybe a sword, as long as I was something indispensable." The only real question is whether, or when, she stopped being in love with him and the answer is never, because she still was right up until the Eclipse. It just became more complicated because of Guts and because of Griffith's situation.

But yeah, I mean I do think it's obvious that she's in love with him no matter how she says it. Hell, even Guts picks it up, and he's clueless about emotions 90% of the time.

Anyway that belief, IMO is just shipper purism. It's a Berserk take on "I thought I knew love, but I never knew love until I met you" soulmatery. You get it in every fandom, and sometimes even in creators especially in spheres like western comics where the fans grow up and write their fanfic into the published stories. For some reason shippers often have a hard time with the idea that people in their pairing ever loved someone other than the other person in their pairing, idk.

Now for the latter, I think they do tend to realize that she was in love with him, it's just that they were hoping that wasn't her only motivation. Because if you like her in theory - the idea of her or I guess the idea of what she could hypothetically have become, then you're going to be hoping that she had more substance to her motives than that. And then she didn't, so its like, "oh."

...

The thing is, I think she's meant to have somewhat substantial motives, like I don't think Miura sat there like how do I make a woman who is just completely defined by her romantic feelings for two men. He talked at some length about not wanting to treat female characters disrespectfully and not wanting to make ladies who were designed to be convenient for men, and how he always hoped that women would like them. He also sought outside help from Mori in designing them since he didn't really know any women. And because he wrote that period of Berserk kind of like a shojo, I can understand why he would think being motivated by romance isn't weird - and honestly if we're keeping it 100, Guts is motivated by Griffith a lot of the time, too.

I think what really makes it go down poorly with Casca is just how visible the strings are. Because with Guts, his character is so substantial and has so much going on that his being pulled around by his heart where Griffith and Casca are concerned is just like a ripple in a great lake. Griffith's not dissimilar - so much of his character is driven by his feelings for Guts, but he also has other things going on, most notably his ambitions. Even the later-series heroine, Farnese, has a crush on Guts but she's also studying witchcraft and she has her own individual relationships with Schierke, Casca and Serpico. She had a whole arc about leaving the church and another about leaving her family. etc. etc.

But with Casca, there's really nothing going on with her other than her feelings for Griffith and Guts, and her life being stressful because of her feelings for Griffith and Guts, so she comes off as a bit flimsy.

[cf56]

My thoughts on episode 10

SPOILERS for season 3, episode 10 of the Animaniacs reboot

So that's great. I took two hours to write this entire review, and then with one press of control + Z, it was completely gone. Great site Tumblr. Really works as intended.

I was in a better mood, but having to rewrite this ENTIRE thing sucks so badly. I try to give my genuine thoughts as I go, and it's impossible to replicate that on the second try. I want to scream. Why can't this week just go right?

So now you're getting a negative opening for what was a super positive review. I seriously want to punch a wall. A website meant for long posts doesn't have an editor designed for them. That's just great.

I can't rewrite that whole thing. Just have a collection of screenshots and some jumbled thoughts.

I'm sorry for Pinky and the Brain fans that their final showing was so short. I didn't like Brain talking about the "endlessly repetitive formulaic rebooted franchise that relies on just a handful of tired characters." You can say it's the writers taking a shot at themselves, but it really isn't. It's not their show. They didn't create the characters. Combined with the ending, it just feels a little disrespectful to the people who put their heart and soul into creating this show in the first place, and to the fans who genuinely love these characters.

Look at them being silly!

I can't gush enough about the song. Such cute animation, such powerful music!

I teared up while listening to it this time. I'll probably do the same on every future watch.

I liked that Wakko was right about everything and had the idea that saved the day. The Warners literally saved the world and they'll still be treated like garbage by everyone around them.

The Joe segment was funny, especially the zoom out at the end. I liked hearing "Waltzing Matilda" in the background.

Dot was so cute wanting to go on the teacups, just being infatuated with the idea of spinning around in a little teacup!

This segment is the epitome of "this is my life now."

Poor Wakko has the worst luck. The SAME CLOWN just happened to be at this carnival? At least we know he got down from Mars.

I thought it was weird to have two cataclysmic endings for the reboot six minutes apart from each other. Although they say this sketch was written for season 1, I find it really hard to believe that this wasn't originally meant to end the season/reboot, especially with Dot's quip at the end. I'm not sure I would want this to be the ending, though. It would have sucked if the Warners were the ones who explicitly ended their universe and killed everyone inside. That would have proven everyone right about their destructive nature all along.

I thought this was a refreshing segment. Slappy sounded and looked great. Like I expected, it was short and there was no Skippy, but I'm happy it exists. I was surprised and happy to see that they got Sherri Stoner to return for work on the reboot.

I liked how Everyday Safety was just a never-ending cascade of total nonsense.

The Council is not pleased.

I thought Wakko's bottle song was catchy. I liked that it actually sounded like Wakko blowing. I wonder if they got Jess to do that for real in the studio?

And the ending. I wrote four paragraphs about it, and it sucks so bad because I thought I made my points quite well. Let me try again.

I understand the metaphor with the abrupt and sudden ending. I know the asteroid is meant to represent Hulu. I just don't think they should have pushed their bitter disappointment with the show ending directly onto us. They should have thought it through a lot better.

If they were going to go doom and gloom, which they shouldn't have, they should've at least given the ending some emotional weight. How am I supposed to feel anything when the characters themselves don't show any reaction to their unexpected, oncoming violent deaths? I'm not saying it should have been super depressing with crying and begging. They just should have given a genuine reaction instead of doing business as usual. The closest set of siblings in the world is about to go out in a fiery blaze, and they're not even touching each other. They're just standing near each other awkwardly. Have them embrace and accept their death with a positive remark about how it was all worth it. That would at least give some closure.

What they should have done, if I could rewrite it from scratch, is give us a satisfying, happy ending. Show the Warners finally earning their freedom from the tower after 90 years. Maybe have them gaze at the sunset together, mirroring how the sun rose at the very beginning of the reboot. Even if they didn't have time to animate new scenery for something like that, anything would have been better for this. This ending just feels empty. It lacks any emotion besides pure shock and it feels like an F you to everyone who cares about the show. The creators might have intended that F you to feel like it was coming from Hulu, but Hulu didn't write this scene. The reboot writers did, and they had the power to leave us with something better. This could be the last Animaniacs we ever see.

I'm at least happy they attempted an ending. The original didn't have one at all. It just sucks that Animaniacs had to end unexpectedly and unsatisfyingly both times it's been suddenly cancelled. The reboot was supposed to fix that.

This was perhaps the most entertaining episode of the season for me. It has one of the greatest Animaniacs songs ever, maybe the best song of the season, I'm still not sure. I still love The Island of Dr. Warneau a lot, so I'm giving this episode a solid second place in my final ranking for the season.

Episode 6

Episode 10

Episode 3

Episode 9

Episode 7

Episode 4

Episode 2

Episode 1

Episode 5

Episode 8

That means that the majority of episodes this season are episodes I would consider really good. The top 4 are all episodes I would consider really great. I'll give my thoughts on the season as a whole in my collective season 3 review, but I'll need a few more days before I start writing that. I need some time to collect myself and reflect.

I'm sorry for how this review turned out. The first version felt a lot more positive, because in this attempt I just wanted to express my more well-developed thoughts, which happened to be criticisms. I liked this episode a lot. I just so desperately wish I hadn't lost that first version. It only adds to the most heavily conflicting mix of emotions I've ever felt in one week. I was feeling good, and now I'm knocked down again. I'm sorry to be the one putting so much negativity into the fandom. I want this to be a positive place for all. If I wasn't able to express my emotions here, though, I wouldn't be able to deal with them at all. So thanks to those that have been listening.

I encourage you to add to the discussion of this episode if you want. If you're from the future, please don't say anything about any of the episodes that come after this ;)

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[sucker-for-yanderes]

Holy Smokes

Yan!Delson Rowe x F!Reader

Bad karma Delson who's absolutely infatuated with the unfortunate reader. Reader is represented as a girl so mlw relationship. TW minor ish angst and dubcon kiss. "I will have you." Implied reader death so not rlly a happy ending sorry :p I'm feeling angsty

For context: This version of Delson is near the end of the story where he has smoke powers, neon powers, and video powers.

Your heart heavy with sadness and angst seeing the path Delson went down after he got his powers. Perhaps he wasn't changed, maybe he was always like this.

Maybe he was always so obsessed with you that he would watch you change in your window next door.

Maybe you hadn't noticed how he always got so jealous that he would grind his teeth and get so standoff-ish with any guy that dared approach you. You thought he was just being protective in an older brother sort of way. After all, you guys basically grew up together. You hadn't known anyone when the tribe took you and your parents in after your father turned out to be a conduit. Banished by everyone except the Akomish. Everyone here treated your family like people instead of spawns of the devil. For one, there was a fear that you had inherited your father's terrifying shadow powers. But that wasn't true, you were just a normal, powerless girl. You were angry at the world for painting these world-changing powers as a bad thing. Time after time you would beg your father to show you his powers, and without fail he would impress you everytime. You were so damn proud of your father, it made you sick to your stomach that society-the whole world- would abandon him and conduits alike. Delson understood you long before he had the powers. It seems like he was the first person to understand you as you were. And that's what made this... situation... so hard.

To leave him behind in your past as you planned to abandon his mission to catch Augustine in pursuit of her affliction. Closing your eyes as you turned your back, you felt a warm hand on yours. A silence followed but you knew who was there." I'm leaving, Delson." You sighed, not bothering to turn to meet his eyes. Those eyes that you hated to love.

" Look at me."

A pang in your heart as he spoke those words, knowing it wouldn't be long before you caved. It isn't fair. His grip desperately tightened so hard on your hand as you attempted to take another step forward and away from him, you winced." Delso-" He didn't give you time to finish as he turned you around to pin you to the cold brick wall. His intense gaze desperately looking for you in your eyes, the eyes that refused to give into him, that refused to give into your heart.

" Please..."

With the painfully long silence, it was clear he wasn't going to yield. With tear filled eyes, you finally give him what he wants. He doesn't smirk like he usually would. He's serious about you. You wanted to scream and cry and push him away right now because looking into his eyes reminded you of all the painful memories leading up to this moment.

When you overheard Fetch talking to him about hooking up and what you've heard about him from the media and people. The killings, the murders, hurting innocent people, hurting anyone who spoke out about his evil doings. The silencing. Delson knew he wouldn't be able to hide the truth from you forever.

The truth is, he didn't exactly have a plan as to what he would do when you found out about what he had been up to. Because everything he's doing really is for the tribe. If he could get you to understand that, then that would be ideal. But not good enough. He has to have you. When the smoke man heard those words come out of your mouth that's when he started panicking. He can't let you go. Not now. Not ever.

" Why? Why are you doing all of this?"

Tears escape your eyes and cascade down your warm cheeks. You can barely see the man in front of you.

"Doing what, exactly?"

The way he had said it wasn't in a 'playing dumb' type of way. You knew he wanted to hear you say it." Tell me. Tell me how bad and scary I am. I'm doing what I have to for the tribe." He defends.

" Taking the lives of innocent people? That's how you're going to save the tribe? Because the tribe is terrified of you, Delson. I'm terrified of you." You gripe. Delson leans in closer towards you, placing a finger under your chin.

" I scare you?"

He asks softly with genuine concern, but at the same time he really feels kind of nice about it. It's nice that he can manipulate you with fear at the very least.

" Do you even care? Because I thought you were all about Fetch now. You're perfect for each other at this point-"

Delson lets you go no further and smashes his lips into yours. You hate it. You hate that this is the way you're kissing him right now. The only time you want to kiss him is when you are happy, or literally in any other mood right now. You push him and bang your fists on his chest. He moves your hands away and above your head against the brick wall behind you. When Delson pulls away to admire your face, he can't help but feel sad too.

" I didn't want it to be like this either. But I wasn't going to be accepted either way. This was always going to be how it is. It is the only way, (Name)."

He studies your face in the purple lighting from the neon signs from the alleyway you two are in. It's just after sunset and the night has just begun." And for the record, Fetch wishes. There's someone else I'm sort of into..." Of course, he's suddenly back to his playful self. He's not the one who can be serious for too long. It's one of the things you liked about him." How can I trust you anymore? I feel sad that I ever did..." You cry out even more.

" Because you love me. That's why you'll trust me." With one last, surprisingly gentle, kiss to your forehead, he walks away. Leaving you. But you don't feel sad that he's leaving. You're sad because you know you'll always be connected to him. You're in love with him and it's terrible. He vanishes with the fading neon images of him left behind in his trail. You can't help but follow. More tears escape your eyes as you see the neon-scribed image left on the building in front of you.

"I love you."

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Delson has always loved you. Down to every minute detail. Not just your looks, he really saw you. The way you spoke, how your humor and his matched perfectly, the way he could be himself around you because you allowed him to be, and how you could allow yourself to be vulnerable to strangers because you believed in people and that no one is inherently evil. The best way to describe your guys' bond was like a lock and key.

The last trait is something Delson is almost envious of. But because of the way people have been treating him because of his newfound power, he can't say he would ever allow himself to believe in people ever again besides you and the tribe.

And that's another reason why he must protect you.

You're too trusting, too easy of a target. And from what Delson's seen, the world is way too dangerous with the threat of dealers, gangs, and the corruptness of the city overall. He's not entirely sure how he could ever make you understand since you and him are different. You're normal, and he's not. That's the way society made it.

When he got his powers he was so happy, but the more he's used it it seems the more it's put a divide between you and him. And he hates that. He hates it more than anything in the world. Delson wants to be with you always.

His playful crush for you when he was just a boy had turned into something deeper as he matured into a man and as you matured into a woman. He knew that no one could ever understand you like he could, if only you understood that. If only he could make you understand that.

Would kidnapping you be going too far? No, no, that would just make you resent him forever. You've got your parents to go back home to after all. If he could just try to convince you, then he won't have to resort to plan B.

A part of him knows that deep down behind your stubborn act, is the love for him that you're ashamed of. Your heart seems to be locked in a cage that he knows he rightfully should have the key to, but you've hid it from him. He knows he has that power over you. Because whenever he's hurt, you're the first person running to him with tears in your eyes and ready to help him and save him, despite being powerless. It was comical.

You protect him? Ha, please. It's unheard of for a mere human to go out of their way to help the big scary bio-terrorist.

And he loved your devotion to him. If he could convince you to keep devoting yourself to him.

Delson was hurt by the fact that you would even think he would go and hook up with Fetch. It's always you that's on his mind, he doesn't see Fetch as anything rather than something he can use as an ally to help get his lick back at Augustine and her pathetic excuse for an army. Maybe he'll have to deal with Fetch. Her way of hitting on him, especially in front of you, was something he had always disliked. Hated, even. Because he could see the look on your face, the tears that you would try to quickly hide. He punches himself for even letting it go that far, to make you jealous. Although, it's nice to know you want him.

But right now, he's about to lose you. And he won't let that happen. Absolutely not.

Think, Delson, think.

If he can just get Fetch out of the picture, keep a low profile (because ever since he started killing the DUP officers and the protesters, he knows he cannot be redeemed), and heal everyone back home then that's when he can earn you back.

But what Delson doesn't know is that karma will catch up to him. What he has taken from others, it will surely be taken from him.

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A/N: Guys I rlly recommend playing this game (available on playstation and pc I think) or you can watch the gameplays. Pewdiepie's gameplay of this was hilarious but yeah please give it a try! It was ahead of its time but it barely gets the recognition it deserves and hopefully I can change that.

[theoncomingdoo-dah]

Episode 1.5 World War 3

just suffered through Deadname of The Doctor with my partner so I'm treating myself with some GOOD nuwho

terrible effects? yes. terrible writing? absolutely fucking NOT

God the old intro is so good. I mean the series 7 one is alright but I miss the old one

I MISS NINE SO MUCH he's so sassy and goofy

"That's never gonna work, is it?" "No." *dashes off* Iconic.

Nine always looks so giddy when he's got guns pointed at him. Its too much.

"...don't stand them against the lift!" 😄

Sir if you don't stop smiling like that I'm kissing you on the mouth

oh god the elevator exchange is so awkward xD

Nine coming in clutch with a fucking fire extinguisher (not a gun!)

Also introductions between him and Harriet. Very polite!

And it just keeps getting better! They like each other. ^^

The banter between Harriet, Rose and Nine is amazing.

Nine going from cocky to "Ah." Will get me everytime. Kin.

The fart jokes. Who's idea was it. I need to know.

I really like the exchanges between Mickey and Jackie. It comes off very organic, and like they've known each other for awhile.

The thing that the Doctor sometimes does with names and the dead. Asking peoples names. Giving them honor in someway. I miss that.

IM NOT TALKING ABOUT THE DOCTORS NAME. FUCK THAT.

Rose joking about the compression field and Harriet calling her out on it is a small moment but an important one. Rose has become accustomed to death, enough that it doesn't bother her as much.

"You're a very violent young woman."

NINE GIVING ACTUAL COMPLIMENTS TO HARRIET. ITS SO GOOD

"Is she alright though? Don't put her on, just tell me." Oh god that is ME WITH MY MOM.

Rose's smile when Nine has to ask Mickey The Idiot for help. 🙂

"Mickey you were born in the dark." SIR CHILL

I noticed in the whole "is my daughter safe?" exchange, Rose isn't really given the ability to voice how she feels. Her mom talks over her, even when she says that she fine. Maybe it's because she's young, I don't know.

"ITS THE SLICKEEN" JACKIE I LOVE YOU

I love the "narrows it down" scene.

RAXACORICOFALLAPATORIUS!

"You kiss this man?" STOP IT

Nine gagging at the taste of the alcohol is such a small moment but I adore it

I find it interesting that the Slitheen actually care about each other. Maybe because they're mentally connected?

Nine is fucking pissed.

Nines face when Rose tells him "Do it." Before he's even explained the plan. Like 'you trust me that much?' Breaks my heart, honest.

"I could save the world but lose you." DONT TOUCH ME.

I love how it was Rose's idea to hide in the cupboard!

"I'm not infatuated!" Okay Rose. 😏

Jackie inviting the Doctor for dinner and him declining. Awe. Won't be that way for too long.

"My mother's cooking." "Good. Put her on a slow heat and let her simmer." PLEASE.

Oh he's trying so hard to be suave and cool. Like "pssh, you don't have to come if you don't want. I'll just have cool adventures without you." But it's more like "Please come. Please. 🥺"

I feel sorry for Jackie. She can't do anything to stop her daughter, her only daughter, from leaving. No matter how badly she wants her to stay.

"There's a scientific explanation for that. YOURE THICK."

NINE ACTUALLY OFFERING TO TAKE MICKEY WITH THEM BECAUSE HE CARES. 🥺🥺🥺

"You're stuck with me. Ahaa."

the fact that Jackie actually counts the 10 seconds...my heart...

Conclusion:

This two parter is still amazing. And the way it actually deals with the consequences of Rose leaving her old life behind is great.

[vxvidlandmine]

I have been having a weird couple of days.

I passed both of the exams of this semester, which leaves me with a whole month to catch up with stuff I already studied.

In the middle of December I decided to connect more with people I know. I have been going out with a friend of mine in the last few weeks. Every two or three days we went for walks since we live close to some wheat fields. We also went to the supermarket twice and it was the most fun I have had in a while. I knew she was a fun person to be around but after coming home I have found myself wanting to go out more and more every time. Now that the new semester hasn't started yet, I want to spend a lot of time with her, which is problem.

I have a weird love-hate relationship with this girl. We have known each other since we were children, but we got somewhat close at 13-14. I fell for her really hard. She was cute and gave me attention, and I was lonely. Every evening we would hop on Skype and just talk until one of us was too tired to stay awake. In high we were in the same class, and whenever I was too exhausted to listen to the teacher I'd just lie down and I'd gaze at her figure for wayy too long. A couple of times she caught me and the reaction she had made me realize that a) that might have been creepy b) she probably wasn't into me in a romantic way.

But I decided to ignore it, and study the situation just like a regular weirdo would do. I started noticing all these little cues that in retrospect are really easy to catch, but not so much when you desperately want your crush to like you back. I was just a friend to her, a close one, the one you go to when you want to share an embarassing story and laugh about it. If no one was around, we'd talk there was no problem. The moment someone else appeared, she'd just brush me off.

I noticed how she looked at other people, guys she'd have flings with in my class, and how she looked at me. With me, her eyes were serious and seemed darker than they actually were. One time I happened to glance at her right after someone told a joke. It was like her pupils were replaced by stars, and her smile was genuine. I was really sad that day, and slowly I started losing interest. Nothing much changed immediately in how I felt, but she noticed I was nervous around her and started being much less kind. It got to the point where if I looked at her for more than was socially acceptable, she'd get visibly angry and would start shouting "Stop looking at me!" and giggle like an evil witch. In my defense, I was really stupid.

We slowly stopped talking everyday, and we would go out together with our group of friends much and much less over time.

At 16 I was over her, she treated me badly and I didn't even got to confess my feelings for her. After seeing how shallow and insensitive she could get I lost every bit of "love" or infatuation left.

After high school, we went to study in the same city. With no one else from our hometown but us, we reconnected a bit. She changed, I changed, and now we get along better than we used to.

Or so I think. I'm not an idiot, I'd never make the same mistake twice. I don't have a crush on her. Yet despite all of this, I find myself wanting to spend more and more time with her. Last time we met she told me of a serious problem she's been dealing with. When I went home, in-between study sessions (and after I was done) I started coming up with way to help her. What she told me "hits close to home" as I dealt with something similar in the past, maybe that's why I'm so hung on it but again, why am i fixating on in? Why do I want to help her? She's my friend of course, and I like helping people.

Anyway. A few closing remarks.

We could hove gone out today but she said she didn't have enough time to get everything done. Another friend of mine hit me up and asked me something exams-related. Another friend of mine texted me out of the blue, although I planned on texting him after exam session ended. Yet after 5pm a void started materializing inside me and I got nothing else done. This is why I'm writing right now, I need to get this off my chest. Maybe it's because I'm turning 21 soon and whenever my birthday arrives I always realize how much I have missed on and how many more things I'll miss because im a lonely idiot.

I'll probably make another wall of texts with all the thoughts related to my birthday.

Bye bye surrogate of intimacy.

[catharsisbykiki]

I will most likely never send this to you

Dear Hannah,

I will most likely never send this to you, because you deserve better than to be bothered by a girl you knew over a decade ago. A girl who was connected to the person who traumatised you the most- or at least I hope no one else has taken that spot.

I hope you’re doing well. I used to check your social media often, but I feel I need to stop being so obsessed with people from the past, so I haven’t for a little while.

I wonder if you looked me up after it all. I doubt it, but who knows.

I saw David recently, in the city centre. What would you have done if you saw him? Have you ever seen him since? I went up to him and spoke to him. I’m inclined to say you would have done the opposite. Maybe because you’re smarter than me. Or maybe we just respond differently to trauma. I don’t know. My guess is that you’re more boundaried than me, which I suppose is smarter really.

I was awful to you back then. I know I’ve said it before. And deep down I know you wouldn’t hold a grudge for it. I was so young- we both were. I think for a time I thought I was victim #1 because I was the younger of us, but to be honest I think you had it worse- I wish it wasn’t true. Though I suppose the only reason he wasn’t aggressive with me is because the emotional manipulation worked so well on me and I was so willing to gratify him. David has admitted he was shittier to you, too (we emailed back and forth after I saw him, but have stopped now) though understandably that’s probably no consolation. It’s interesting because even as recently as a few years ago I probably would have been offended by that admission from him. It would have made me feel less important, as self-absorbed as admitting that makes me feel. But I no longer feel the need to have been the special one. We were both special in spite of how he treated us. We were (and are I’m sure!) vibrant, beautiful, full of life young women. And smart, too- we just ignored our intuition when it came to him. This song lyric would have been so relevant at the time: “You like a certain type of woman who’s smart but neglects intuition. When you’re insecure, could be me, could be her- you just run to whoever is winning”.

Speaking of songs, Olivia Rodrigo’s ‘Lacy’ reminds me so much of how I felt about you back then. I don’t know whether that’s flattering or creepy. But sometimes I wondered whether I was in love with David or you lmao. I was just so incredibly jealous of you, almost to the point of infatuation. I thought you were just gorgeous (and still do, just in a less creepy, obsessive way!), that I wanted to be you. Maybe a lot of that is because I thought David might love me more lol. But also because I thought you were just so cool and effortless. Any spiteful behaviour on my part truly was just 100% jealousy. I feel embarrassed by it now, and so regretful that I didn’t listen to you when you told me how awful he was. But I was just so infatuated with him- so groomed. I know you understand because you were, too.

I don’t think he loved either of us though, as I’m sure you can agree. He loved how we made him feel. I don’t think he was capable of love at the time; he was far too selfish. Maybe he appreciated different parts of us, but I don’t think either of us was the winner. We both lost by having known him.

I was going to say you’re the one person who had a very similar experience with the same toxic person, but I'm inclined to believe he hurt other girls in the same way, unfortunately. But you’re the one person I know of, the one person I’ve spoken to. And so I just wonder about you, and how you feel about it all now. I wonder if it fucked you up the same way it did me. I hope it didn’t fuck you up at all, but I know you said it had in the past. And how couldn't it have? I hope at least that you have been able to heal the vast majority of any wounds caused by him. I thought I had for a very long time, but perhaps I just repressed it. I think a lot of my previous mental health struggles lead back to him in a way that wasn’t immediately obvious.

I thought I was so cool and resilient ten years ago. But a decade on, I find myself obsessively thinking about him. I’m somewhat embarrassed to admit that but I try to be compassionate to myself. I think it’s a trauma bond, albeit a very outdated washed up one. Do you feel it, too? Or did you at any point?

I can forgive what he did to me, but I hate so much what he did to you. I hope your current partner is kind and wholesome and loving in the way that you always deserved.

But I feel empathy for David, too. I don’t know if that’s insulting to you, but I can’t help how I feel. To not feel empathy for him would go against my personality. Hurt people hurt people, right? He still shouldn’t have done any of it and it will never be right. Two things can be true at once: I have compassion for him and I hate what he did. From our email exchange, I do get the sense he’s changed. Which I’m happy about, for both his sake and for the sake of any woman (hopefully of an appropriate age!) he interacts with. And I guess for us too, because it feels like some kind of indirect justice. But maybe he hasn’t changed. I can still believe though, if it makes me feel better. It’s up to me; that’s my power. And even if he hasn’t changed, he will never be in a position to hurt me again.

I will forever be reprocessing what happened, I think. I don’t know if you feel the same. Maybe if I ever have a teenage child, it will truly sink in. Another lyric that comes to mind: “if my child needed protection from a fucker like that man, I’d sooner gut him ‘cos nothing cuts like a mother”.

To end this rambling that has no use beyond catharsis, I wish you all the very best in life, Hannah. He did such a good job of turning us against each other, and I hate that. I hate how selfish I was back then, but I was a teenager after all. Funny to think I believed I was mature for my age. I'm so grateful for the kindness you showed to me; at some points you felt like an older, wiser sister. Even if I no longer look for you online, I will always be rooting from you from afar.

And though I'm hesitant to reach out, I would always be glad to hear from you.

Lots of love,

K x

[pesterloglog]

Dirk Strider, Jane Crocker

Act 6, page 5797

TT: Jane, you know,

TT: We probably should have talked about this Jake stuff a long time ago.

GG: Tell me about it.

TT: I don't know if I was kidding myself all those years that there was a conflict of interest between us, or what.

GG: Same.

TT: Maybe I was just pretending your feelings for him weren't a factor because my pursuit of him was already overcomplicated enough.

TT: Or maybe it was more like I was aware of them, but on some level decided they shouldn't matter, because I felt like you had a natural advantage over me.

TT: Cause you know. You're like.

TT: Not a dude.

GG: But I always felt you had the advantage over me too!

GG: Because you're... YOU.

GG: You make things happen, and I don't.

TT: Yeah well. Turns out maybe that's not such a good quality if you wanna make a relationship last longer than three seconds. At least not in my case.

TT: I know I ripped into him pretty hard when I had the clown hair and the little soda can on my head.

TT: But the truth is I was pretty goddamn overbearing.

TT: Sometimes I look back on stuff and think I might have essentially bullied him into a relationship with me.

TT: Actually, it's more complicated than that. Parts of me were operating independently from myself.

TT: So it's like I was bullying myself into bullying him into liking me. If that makes sense.

GG: It doesn't really. But that's fine. :B

TT: Anyway, my insanity scared him right the fuck off. There were times when I basically treated him like shit without even realizing it, and I regret it.

TT: I should probably tell him that, but given how I just called him an asshole while wearing orange suspenders, I'm probably the last person he wants to hear from now.

GG: Clearly we both used some poor judgment.

GG: Looking back, it seems crazy to me that we both jeopardized our friendship over a mutual infatuation with, let's face it, one spectacularly goofy kid.

TT: Can we both at least agree we may have overrated the allure of Jake English?

GG: YES.

TT: Maybe if we could have talked to each other about him it would have helped. Like talked about why we felt that way about him.

TT: At least maybe it would have helped us knock English down from the ludicrous pedestal we put him on.

GG: Yeah. That might have saved us a lot of grief.

GG: It's not like I hate him now, even though that's probably what he thinks. He's still my friend.

GG: But the extent to which I centered my whole life around a childish fantasy about him is just painfully embarrassing in hindsight.

GG: I wonder if I'll ever be able to look at him again without feeling miserable about myself?

TT: So does that mean we're both totally over him now? I can't really tell.

GG: Me neither. :\

TT: I guess the real problem is our clique was too small.

TT: Poor Jake was the only viable romantic target. I mean, considering our respective orientations.

TT: Maybe we just never knew enough people?

GG: Perhaps.

GG: Or maybe we just don't need anybody.

GG: As anything other than friends, I mean.

TT: In the interest of appeasing the bitterness gods, let's go with the latter.

[echoesagain]

#6

No random thought this time, sorry to disappoint! Obviously we can still treat this like a little sit down and time to calm down, a cup of tea and biscuit. Jaffa cake by preference, or anything without milk in (dairy allergy you see). Sit down next to the fire, grab a good book and cast the occasional melancholy glance out the window at the rain soaked valley as the gentle tones of some ballad wash over you. Maybe Coldplay's A Rush of Blood to the Head or Radiohead's Hail to the Thief? They're the albums that spring to mind when I think of nice mellow albums that take me back to when I was young, times were simpler, I still had a Beano subscription and lego was always strewn across the floor. Anyway, I hope that gets you into a nice, calm, nostalgic mood. Ready for my life update?

So, there are three people who are interested in me and one who I'm interested in. And the one is not part of the three to make things extra complicated. Let's dive into the three first of all: firstly we have a guy I met at uni whom shares a few mutual friends from back home- small world or what? He's very cute, I've been over to his place a few times, made out, hand stuff but we agreed no relationship. Until a couple of nights ago when he told me how he really feels. So much for a casual relationship of pure fun.

Next we have a girl who claims to have "fallen in love" with me. She's from back home and we dated for a weeks before I went to uni, we thought we could handle long distance. I ended up making out with quite a few people and I broke it off. I come back from uni for a new year's party, end up making out with her for a few hours, confusing us both and now she's pining after me again. Fuck. And I have no idea how I feel about her, she thinks along the same wavelength as me, it's scary but so nice since she actually gets me like no one else (except maybe my brother).

Last of the three we have another girl from back home who confessed she has a crush on me. I guess I just can't help being so irresistible. Just joking, I probably would've made a move if I didn't think that she was gay (she just gave off those vibes, oops).

So there we have the complex situation that is my love life right now and I really can't be dealing with it right now. I have no idea what the fuck I'm looking for/ meant to be doing, let alone having to deal with someone else's emotions. Sorry but I'm not getting into the girl who I'm currently infatuated interested in. Wayyyy too many emotions there and no one wants to have to try and wade through all the waffle and pining and post-teen angst that is my feelings for her (if you really do, send me £10, I'll be happy to explain :) (what can I say, I'd do pretty much anything for £10, I'm a student, there's no shame left))

Longer post than usual, hope someone reads it so I'm not just writing into an abyss. Gonna try some new tags, let's see what happens

[manythoughtmanyprayers]

i am too thoughtful and too horny to make sense, but i can only blame it on you.

for years i never felt good enough for others, i never felt pretty, or hot, or sexy. ever. maybe because no one ever looked at me, spared me a glance even. that and nobody ever taught me how to look at myself and love what i see. i never felt comfortable in my skin and body to get close to other people, to let others touch me, or even for me to touch myself. i always felt unworthy, unlovable, untouchable. 'nobody's gonna love your scars, your acne, your body hair, your body shape, your lack of that skinny shape' i would think. and forever i had that mindset blocking myself from getting closer to people, specially those who i liked.

i have been touching myself for 10 years, everytime a different feeling, for different reasons. what i see, what i think, what i do. but it always felt like it wasn't good, or healthy, or enough. it made me feel like i was never enough.

i never let a boy touch me in any sexual or romantic way. got my first kiss at 19 when i was tipsy from a guy i never saw again because he felt sorry for me (i was too attached to a boy i had likes for 3 years at that time and never had kissed anyone because of that). got my first sexual experiences with a guy at 20 because i thought it was the right thing to do since we were 'dating'. did i like him enough to do so? not really. did i trust him? a little, i guess (enough to let it happen). did i feel good? i would have to give a negative answer. i did feel like a trashcan for cum however. 3 nights with him and gave him 5 or 6 bj because he was in the mood. and i just went with it. i only allowed him to touch me bellow my belly in that last night. i would rather not repeat it.

'maybe i'm asexual' i thought, that would be the most reasonable reason behind the fact that i had never enjoyed myself with other boys, right? right. however, asexuality is a spectrum, and i don't fall into the category of 'not feeling pleasure' at all. it's more of a..... i don't feel pleasure without an emotional connection, trust, and self-esteem.

which is where you enter the chat.

for years i never felt hot, i never felt pretty. the healing and changing process started not too long ago, almost 2 years, and it was slow, very slow, with ups and downs. i felt prettier and sexier with time. but still felt unseen by others. until you came into my life.

it took me some time to accept the fact that someone else other than me and my friends (close friends, who i trust my life with) saw me, looked at me and thought 'i would fuck the shit out of her and treat her like my most precious treasure'. or maybe i had already accepted it but never realised it. because otherwise, why would i feel so comfortable with kissing you first on our officially first time meeting? why would i feel comfortable enough to spend the night at yours after only a week, specially given how that night turned out? why would i go back, this time to just be with you? why would i have a night such like our last? why would i feel how i feel right now (oh so horny yet so infatuated)?

i came to the conclusion that i had already accepted the fact that someone else sees me like i do when my self-esteem is high, that someone wants me for my body and my soul, not just one of them, a long time ago. and i know that because i have never wished to be fucked so bad in my life like right now. i know that because i have had mental tedtalks with myself about taking the next step with you, preparing myself and my body just in case i do give in completely and give you my body to touch and love and use.

younger me would only see unworthy written all over her unlovable body. present me sees worthy written all over my acceptable body. because you made me change, you healed me somehow, so much in such a short period of time. and for once in my life, i want to let go and dive in, i am letting go and trying to dive in, because i believe you will catch me and accept me, with all the fears that are still scaring my body and mind.