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#this is making me feel legitimately insane im going to really need you guys to start reading books before we get a full on Herder fandom
bigothteddies · 2 months
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I think that part of what like. kills me about the whole media literacy and critical thinking aspect of enjoying media these days is that people refuse to like. contextualize that
A. Bad media can still hold significant meaning to people
B. Media made for a demographic you aren’t apart of is not inherently bad media
C. Media made for and consumed by the opposite demographic is not inherently shallow or flawed nor is it above criticism for its media tropes either.
#unimportant thoughts#i dont feel like dropping specifics in post but like. people online drive me legitimately insane#good example is Ready Player One. its an okay book but people LOVE to hate on it for being a shallow nostalgia grab for old male demographic#and like. yeah. but also comsider that it Was written earnestly by a man in that demographic? and that people enjoyed it???#and maybe im soft hearted but my Dad was a nerd in the 80’s so both of us reading that book and comparing our experiences with it and#learning about his childhood from him. it was awesome yk??? was the book groudbreaking or particularly moving? no#are there a lot of fair criticisms you can make about the book regarding its poorly written female characters and painfully male tone#throughout? absolutely. its not the most vile piece of media its barely mediocre and its not the best thing since sliced bread either#and it kills me because instead of being able to have conversations like thay#people just attack and attack and attack and ATTACK#I don’t know i think the rise of this booktook wattpad level romance smut is another big part of this#are those books incredible? no. definitely not. are they decent? yeah theyre fine enough#are their characters shallow; do they follow tropes; are the characters clearly romanticized objects for us to googoo eye over? yeah#so fucking what??? they arent winning pulitzer prizes theyre just popular online and easily accesible#people love consumbable media thats not an inherently bad thing#and i think its hypocritical for people to defend one and attack the other or even to attack both#media doesnt exist to be appropriately Deep and Meaningful before people are allowed to consume and enjoy it#like. i think theres a LOT of levels of undestanding compassion and respect that people need to reach before these conversations are worth#anything. because right now it really feels like girls and boys arguing back and forth on the playground over whos show is better#anyways. i could go on but i wont.#bottom line i suggest you take a deep look at how ‘realistic’ and ‘meaningful’ the media you enjoy actually fucking is before you start#critizing other media for being too shallow or unrealistic depictions of something#hate to break it to you guys but 90% of fictional characters are fictional and dont act like people irl ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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cruelsister-moved2 · 1 year
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you guys..... this is a new lowww 😭
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ham1lton · 4 months
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sebcedes challengers would actually change my brain chemistry! like ... its just so perfect? and with how much lore sewis and brocedes (and honestly nico and seb too) has plus the insanity that is the plot of challengers, yeah one writer IS NAWT enough. also those edits? how dare you? I AM CRYING. but i hope you're doing okay and well with your exams (surviving i hope!), f1 has been a treat to follow this week like who knew oscar piastri would be adopted by charles and it actually be legitimized! also lewis being a wh*re (affectionate) again, ugh he slays so hard and never misses! ALSO NICO IN THE PADDOCK THE WAY I SCREAMED IT WAS EMBARRASSING— nico apologist
i think it’s so big brained bc so many diff authors have different approaches to it? i saw someone make seb as tashi, nico as art and lewis as patrick but i was going for lewis as tashi, nico as patrick and seb as art. tbh i would read it in any way because the three of them are so fascinating to me in fanon (and canon as well!). also there are so many incredible authors who i think could do an insane job at it. i would love love love to read it.
exams r killing me!! but my family came up to visit me today which was rlly sweet! and expensive 😭 but i really needed to see them i think.
also the EDITS!!!!!! U CAN HAVE MY MERCEDES…. THATS ALL I GOT IN MY NAME….. BUT JESUS CHRIST DONT BREAK MY HEART….. i literally was going insane over that one edit for ages. i messaged vic the edit like ‘HELLO??????? IM GOING CRAZY :)’. guys do not follow me on tiktok i will spam u with brocedes edits.
the whole oscar/charles thing was cute!! wish me luck guys 🫡 i’m gonna ask if he needs a broke student for a daughter. whenever i see nico, i feel like i’ve seen my long lost husband who has disappeared at sea, presumably lost. i love him.
also guys i love lewis. he can do no wrong in my eyes. even when he does, i close them xxxx
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blueskittlesart · 2 years
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Ah yes, the okumura palace arc. Aka, the worst part of every p5 playthrough. The palace is horrible, the story part during this arc is shit (seriously, why does Morgana feel affected by Ryuji's insults NOW when during LITERALLY the entire rest of the game he doesn't give a shit?). And the Boss fight is both timed AND has waves for you to fight through.
At least you get Angy Floof during this part of the game, so it has A good thing to it.
i have such mixed feelings about this palace in general because i think it definitely has its moments. the dungeon itself is fairly well-designed in terms of layout and puzzles and haru's little moment with her persona was seriously great (im obsessed with her) but christ alive. i was on a solid zero-deaths streak before this fucking palace destroyed it. i have legitimately replayed okumura's stupid ass boss battle about 20 times at this point because i cant for the life of me make it past the final wave of monsters even with multiple characters using multi-enemy skills, targeting weaknesses, stat boosts, literally every strategy i could think of is not enough. like at this point i think my only option is to reset and spend like. hours grinding xp in mementos or something so i can get a big enough xp gap to cancel out the insane difficulty spike here. i couldnt even figure out what was going on at first because the game doesnt actually tell you you only have 3 turns to beat each wave it just keeps resetting the damn enemies for no fucking reason
gameplay aside i do think you're right about the story not being. super strong lmao. morgana's departure did feel very forced. i also can't quite tell rn if the player is SUPPOSED to have reservations about targeting okumura without a lot of actual evidence of wrongdoing and this is the beginning of a spiral for the phantom thieves or if the writers just got lazy and decided they didn't need to explain why the theives decided to attack this guy beyond "he has a palace so he is bad." obv they get a reason in the form of haru later on but like. going into this they didn't have much solid evidence on okumura. they were really just going off super vague rumors and people yelling at them about it online. since the game is so focused on the morality of your actions this concerns me, UNLESS it is intentionally the beginning of a spiral in which the thieves start caring more about public opinion than actually helping people. that would be the good outcome here otherwise it was just bad writing. im never going to figure it out though because i am never going to get past this FUCKING BATTLE
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m1ckeyb3rry · 2 months
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No because I thought his LN was on crack or something especially when he had like his osha awakening moment like they fully wrote out all the details of him posing with the galaxy in the background surrounded by all the planets and the literal LETTERS floating above his head like???? Yeah I mean if I were an Aryu stan I would’ve taken more time to read but I also couldn’t get past the fact that he was so appalled by his lack of musical talent that he fr was sick in bed for three days BRO it was so goofy it kinda makes me wonder what he would’ve been like if he hadn’t been bullied though :(
I- THERES NO WAY??? THE GRIND IS TOO INTENSE OMG???? Glad you’re alive now though oh god allergies really suck
And no seriously like people think that writing is the only thing you’ll have going on like sorry bro your fav writes have lives?? Also considering the length of your fics generally you’d think they’d realize that it’s kinda insane for you to update so quickly??? And I’m ngl I was really impressed that you were churning out so many pieces in such a short period of time especially since they were all at the very least 6k or something like….
IM SO EXCITED ugh baby Karasu truly is too cute the epinagi panels make me wanna just squish his cheeks!!! But I have full faith in you your different fic verses always keep it unique even if some things might be similar (like fwtkac and freaky Friday) like I remember you saying they had some similar aspects too but they didn’t feel repetitive in the slightest so!!
Vibe checking is so real like I’m not about to make people think that I’m like THOSE anime enjoyers yk….its okay we’ve got you o7 bllk chatter sessions ftw>>>
Freak loser Rin confirmed guys….yeah I did feel a bit bad for Sae LMAO but erm yeah what an interesting kid Rin was…..The fact that they don’t have eyes sent me I saw someone post somewhere saying that Rin and Sae must be adopted because they have long lashes but their parents don’t even have eyes LMFAOOOO
PLEASE KANESHIRO GET KARASU AND YUKIMIYA IN THERE!!! Honestly I’m lowk conflicted about post nel arc on one hand I’m really excited because I wanna see everyone together again but on the other hand I’m like…how much more of bllk do we still have…..I need my content!! Dw we add the slice of life filler episode into the manifestation circle…it will happen! Wait I’m also kinda curious about how the nel offers work? I’ve seen people all over talking about how after this they’ll like split and go to their respective countries from which they selected in nel to go join clubs and whatnot and I’m like uhhh that doesn’t sound like getting the gang back together!!!!
BAROUU>> I hope more people stop with the red flag Barou trend now because this man is such green flag material….okay and um maybe we actually just have prophetic abilities I was being so unserious when I said that LMAOOOO soooo trust slice of life episode tabieitaken comeback soon!!!
-Karasu anon
HELP the way they described the letters and everything omg i was cackling…it felt like they were trying to give a serious backstory to a very unserious character which gave it a general cracky vibe 😭 and the lack of musical talent causing him to throw up was unreal like what even
HAHAHA the grind is always with me fr 😈🙏🏻 this was a while ago like circa 2021 so it’s been a bit 😫 unfortunately i do have a peanut allergy it’s like my debuff 😢
THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYINGGG bro i had written over a 100k words for that fic in like a month that’s legitimately longer than most published novels 😭 i feel like when i’m inspired i’m a very prolific writer (eg i’ve written probably close to 150k words for bllk since may??) but the downside is if i’m not into smth you’re not getting anything out of me for it
OKAY YAY i’m glad it doesn’t come off across as too similar…i do think part of it stems from me just being the one writing it so i notice even the smallest similarities even though they wouldn’t really bother a reader necessarily?? at least i hope they wouldn’t 😓 and yessss squishy cheeks baby karasu that’s exactly the vibe he’s supposed to have he’s such a cutie i want to eat him
fr i need to differentiate myself…like yes i watch anime and write fanfiction and am a LITTLE not normal abt certain characters but i still shower and have friends/hobbies and touch grass 😔
HELP omg idk what the deal w the itoshi parents being so mysterious is…like is it meant to represent how sae was the only family rin cared abt?? because that’s lowkey crazy if that’s the case 😭 freak loser rin we’ve known it from the start 😩 need the world to get on our wavelength
ooh it might be how it is irl where like players play for their respective clubs but then for the world cup they come back and represent their national teams!! so we’ll have an arc or so of them learning how to play pro football, introducing more players so that the stakes for u20 wc are higher (because there’ll be established dynamics with other international players) and then everyone gets back together to play for japan in the wc
YES FREE BAROU FROM THE RED FLAG ALLEGATIONS PRONTO HE IS TRULY THE OPPOSITE!! and FRR we are bllk oracles or smth…seeing karasu yukimiya and kunigami relevance in the future of pxg vs bm 🧿🕯️
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bilbao-song · 3 years
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heres an ask because i too am desperate to engage with people. i know u dont care about roxy music but you did say you would accept something as incoherent as a keysmash so here is an equivalent: admittedly i find the dynamics between ANY band and their fans very interesting, but roxy music in particular. there is a peculiar divide between those who are staunch bryan ferry fans (these people typically dont give half of a shit about anyone else in the band), those who are fans of the group as a whole and dont particularly care about individual members at all, and those who are most interested in phil manzanera and andy mackay and sometimes the other guys, who generally quite dislike bryan (i being the latter)- and often there is resentment between the groups. i think its so interesting that a group of people can be presented with the same exact material, love it and enjoy it for years, and yet latch onto different parts of it and make it such a part of their identity that should you confuse one with the other they become insulted, or if nothing else will tell you "no no, i like roxy music but i REALLY like bryan, i think hes the best", or "no no, i love roxy music and im a fan of andy and phil in particular but i dont care for byran much at all, dont get it twisted", etc. are there bands you're more familiar with who have this sort of divide amongst the fanbase? do tell me about them, if you like :>
first of all i absolutely love that u sent this ksdhgkshg this is like. exactly the kind of thing i wanted
sorry for taking 39485949 years to post this lmao. i wrote like FIVE entire paragraphs and then had to edit it but it was getting super late and anyway it’s still absurdly long (as in, i can say whatever i want in the below text bc no one is going to want to read it) and definitely devolved into a huge general rant about the annoying and creepy behaviors of some people within band fanbases (specifically ELO-related bc of course) as well as vagueing about my own controversial opinions but......nonetheless.
anyway!!! i find this kind of thing really interesting too!! and i know EXACTLY what you’re talking about. there are just sooo many facets to this, and i guess it’s different for every band. on the one hand i do think it’s kind of an interesting phenomenon bc if you think about it, they’re basically enjoying the same thing but taking wildly different/opposing stances on it. as a whole i would find it a lot more interesting/amusing and less frustrating if people could like...manage these kinds of differences without turning it into some kind of overly vitriolic/super hostile opposition that you would think is about politics or something and not a band we r supposed to be listening to for entertainment purposes. i mean, i 100% get that things don’t have to be Extremely Important to be worth discussing, but it just seems wild the way some people get SO intensely angry about these things, sometimes to the point of being kind of inappropriate. i have a lot of issues with the way some people within band fanbases tend to behave lol
.......anyway the Full Rant is below here (idk why i wrote this bc it’s long enough to be turned in for a grade and it’s only partially relevant. read at ur own risk):
so!! thankfully with most bands i enjoy i just kind of watch the fanbase from the sidelines and don't get too involved in or even aware of all the drama. like...i know about the band and enjoy the music but just manage to not get involved in whatever the community happens to be collectively freaking out about at any given moment. i feel like the kind of divide you mentioned is actually pretty common within band fanbases (i think there are things like this with like...styx and three dog night? among others? but i don't know all the details 👀) but like, FORTUNATELY with most of them i just would not know. that's very nice because i unfortunately do not always have that kind of luxury with the ELO fanbase...idk i have a lot of very strong ELO-related opinions that i usually don't like to discuss in great detail bc i get disproportionately frustrated but yeah basically what you described does kind of happen among ELO fans, although thankfully i'd say it's to a somewhat lesser extent? people are commonly at each other's throats about a variety of topics including (but not limited to) who they support or don't support, but there are still plenty of people who (thankfully) are not so aggressive lmao. there is sort of a divide within the fanbase but i feel like it's probably not so 50/50 as what you're talking about...maybe more like 85/15
THAT SAID, i have frequently commented on the fact that the ELO fanbase is largely a dumpster fire and there is a whole entire sector of the fanbase that is comprised of people who i absolutely cannot stand, and most of them do fight a lot lmao. this is only partially related to the subject at hand, but a good portion of the bickering is relevant to The Divide. like, i'm 100% okay with having a different opinion than someone else as long as they aren't acting like a complete freak about it, but idk, aside from the fact that most of these people are like?? needlessly aggressive?? there are certain opinions held by certain members of the Greater ELO Community that just give me that vibe of like...hmmmm this is a person i probably would not want to associate with at all, even in matters completely unrelated to this. Unsavory Person Vibes. i mean like, “opinions” that just boil down to "i am very very entitled and also incapable of seeing anyone else's perspective on literally anything ever BUT that isn't going to stop me from openly whining about this absolutely whenever possible." like!! it's one thing to have some kind of legitimate, reasonable criticism of an individual or band but some, if not most, of the things i've seen people losing their minds over within this fanbase have been so hilariously trivial that i just CANNOT understand how these people actually managed to get to be (presumably) functional adults who are probably like 50+ years old. i mean like, full-blown tantrums and calling someone all sorts of nasty things over something that shouldn't even be an issue because without exaggerating i cannot fathom how anyone could even be majorly upset about it in the first place. to give an example: someone once had a whole entire little strongly-worded, excessively presumptuous freakout because a guitar was no longer on loan to the rock and roll hall of fame. like...it was there for quite awhile and two out of four inductees loaned absolutely nothing but you're whining because one who DID loan something eventually took it back? do we not know what the word "loan" means? anyway the best part is that basically every time something like this happens, if someone tries to point out that the person is overreacting or perhaps just needs to look at a situation another way, they will then go off on that person bc god forbid we try to be level-headed about things. everything has to be Very Horrible All The Time or we’re doing something wrong or being stupid or something. idk i'm convinced that some people just want to be angry
also just...some of these people do some really shady things that i personally feel are morally questionable but there's nothing i can do about it so i try to just kind of avoid dwelling on it lmfao. like, it's not okay to violate people's privacy just because they're famous and you're overly entitled/nosy/desperate for clout/blatantly trying to profit off of them? i know in the Sane World that's a completely non-controversial idea but band fanbases apparently often aren't based on sanity skhglkshgks idk i could probably write a small novel on this and make a specific list of all the things they do that are just like...bafflingly tone deaf and kind of appalling but i digress. idk the worst part to me is the way they'll be like, saying/doing something that's just awful or like, maybe even totally factually wrong while acting like they're in the right. absolutely wild
to at least somewhat bring this back to what we were ATTEMPTING to talk about!!! personally i've reached a point where i pretty much no longer care about like 90% of anyone who has ever been in ELO (jeffrey/richard/roy/mike de albuquerque supremacy) but i'm not like, actively a Hater of the others lmao. i appreciate that they were there and enjoy the nostalgia(? i wasn’t alive) of it and i’m glad they’re out there existing but i just...don’t really care about anything they do at this point?? a good portion of it is a result of me taking issue with certain things some of them have done, which has impacted the way i feel about them, but MOST of it is really not that deep and it’s just that some of them just don't particularly interest me on that kind of level/i don't feel the need to get that invested in like 927509257 different people (fun fact: during the 1970s every third person in existence on earth was, at least briefly, a member of ELO). there's really only one ELO-adjacent person who i actually very strongly dislike and a) luckily i feel like they barely even count as a member b) the reasoning is kind of its own Thing and has very very very little to do with anything related to the band so it's kind of another subject entirely. anyway that’s as close as i’ll ever get to actually getting involved with any of the Drama sgsdgsdgfhdh. my primary beef is with the fanbase anyway because, as previously mentioned, there are too many insane people. i guess what i’m getting at here is that yeah there’s a divide and it does affect me BUT i also don’t really get why people allow this to make them act in a way that goes beyond just having a difference in opinion and is so overly hostile towards each other as well as the people they’re discussing. like...if anyone involved is a serial killer or something even remotely similar then yeah, being outraged on an extreme level and absolutely hating them even as an outsider makes sense. otherwise? calm down!!!!!
anyway. to wrap up this mostly incoherent rant that i hope no one read: i have always suspected that band fandoms kind of attract certain kinds of very distressingly weird people and i just think it's funny how there's always like, a little cluster of people within the fanbase who basically seem like they actually hate the band (those are almost always the Weird Ones bc i can’t tell you how many times i’ve witnessed a person who is like, into a band to a CREEPY extent and then one day they just flip and become a hater). at that point i'm just like, okay? so why are you still here lmfao. i guess that's the Main Idea of all of this lol. i just don't get why these people stick around when 98% of all they ever do is complain and act overly judgy? i just feel like if my so-called favorite band was making me that miserable i would try to find another band to like instead of becoming a menace to society. that’s just me tho
to bring all of this together i guess i just assume that some kind of phenomenon like this occurs within basically every band fanbase. idk it just seems pretty universal for some reason. certain kinds of people just love drama i guess and will turn any difference of opinion into some kind of shitshow
tl;dr: yes
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transsexualhamlet · 3 years
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sherlock holmes reactions part six (aka me losing my mind over the final problem)
Hi, I am once again reminding you all that I've formed a parasocial relationship with the crackhead detective 👍 This made me overly emotional for the fact that he didnt even die
But like
hhhmmmmmmmm those were certainly an interesting 14 pages
Yeah, I already made a post about how the final problem relates to yuumori's final problem and how incredibly sexy it is but yes now I'd just like to relay to you how absolutely heart brocken i am over this lol I will eventually get to reading the post hiatus stories i just. I haven't emotionally recovered from this yet
Yelling below the cut somehow this reaction feels longer than the story itself. but it's about half cracking jokes and half sobbing so be prepared
I mean, starting off strong with "well yknow since i got married my and sherlock's Very Intimate Relations had to be modified and all but we hadnt seen each other in a while so it was kind of jarring to see him crawling in my second story bedroom window clutching Wounds and closing the shutters absolutely fucking wasted losing his mind over some dude named moriarty"
We've been over this but. Oh my god why are they gay
I just like????? Imagine how fucking bizzare that would be to just see your old homie crawl into your window bleeding on your floor and asking to exit the other way in case he's followed like "hey bro can we Talk i hope you're not busy" WHAT IS HE SUPPOSED TO DO, SAY HE IS? Imagine watson just like "no dude I'm fucking busy go get killed"
But legitimately. That's certainly something. And like, I see a lot of books starting like this lmao but. Holmes's stuff usually starts off kind of easily with watson going "yeah so lately ive been Experiencing Sherlock Holmes" and spend 20 minutes on exposition with them having a Conversation but no. mans just fucking escaped a hitman and went directly to his boyfriend's house having apparently Never Before In His Goddamn Life mentioned his actual nemesis to this guy. How the FUCK has watson never heard of him before.
And how sherlock starts talking about it isn't any less funny he's just like "UHHH SO THERE'S THIS GUY. THIS ABSOLUTE MAN. AND HES REALLY IMPRESSIVE I MEAN HES LIKE SUPER FUCKING SMART AND HES LIKE DOING CRIMES????? SO I LIKE. I NOTICED AS I DO BUT HE NOTICED THAT I NOTICED AND I MIGHT HAVE MADE A LITTLE FUCKY WUCKY DUDE CAN YOU HELP ME LIKE. FLEE THE COUNTRY" and watson's like my dear sherlock What The Fuck
Im also loving how he calls moriarty a "mathematical celebrity" awhi;grih;oaewhhta;ioh;iaewh;ii;oewh;eh;rg mans just. ok lol hes a Math Celebrity that had to quit his math teacher job because EVERYONE JUST KNEW HE WAS A CRIME LORD LIKE THEY TOOK ONE LOOK AT HIM AND WENT MANS DEFINITELY HAS BODIES IN HIS BASEMENT I DONT WANT HIM TEACHING HERE
But yeah, it was interesting to see what the big deal about og moriarty was... especially since the deal simply did not deliver. There was not really a big deal. It's like reading the first chapter of a book and immediately skipping to the climax. Everything is so hyped up and clearly having been building for years and you just get like NO CONTEXT. I swear Moriarty wasn't goddamn mentioned any time before this. He's just suddenly the big guy and watson has just never fucking heard shit about this guy.
What's so funny about this whole situation is that I just. Cannot objectively know anything about Moriarty at all because sherlock just... does not go into what this dude's alleged crimes even were, other than. The fact that he like. Does them. He's just really involved in crimes. How? Why? For how long? In what way? For what purpose? NO FUCKING CLUE HE JUST. HE JUST DOES. And there's nothing to really suggest that Moriarty was honestly a really evil guy. They're all like trust me he was just. he was just really bad but show absolutely No examples of being such. The most evil thing we saw Moriarty do personally was call sherlock stupid for letting him get into the apartment. And even then he immediately followed it up with complimenting him lol
yeah, my impression of Moriarty was like. I expected him to be worse, honestly. I expected him to be like a cartoon villain because he was kind of made out to be one and then he's just honestly a really polite and refined guy?? Mans strolls the fuck into 221B like hi shawty and it is Not like yuumori obviously man's holding a gun but like. What the fuck they are just. They have never met before but They Clearly Have and it's. its so weird
Like honestly I don't dislike og moriarty. He's really what william tried to be (and fucking failed, but beside the point) but like. Dude's so powerful and for what. He just walks into the apartment with No Pretense like why sherlock holmes is that a revolver or are you just happy to see me oh my goodness you are a dolt why would you hold the gun that way. disgusting. disgraceful. dreadful. Oh my god. I love him I'm sorry
abngnahhghifeah;iewh and Why does sherlock describe him like that hes like "MANS A REALLY REFINED LIZARD /pos" HIEHIFEHW:HGIHOEWFEEW FOR WHAT. FOR W H A T
baaaaaaaaghhhhhh but likeeeee they went STRAIGHT to "you know what I'm here for" "you know how I'm going to respond" "well then" "yeah" "mhm" "damn well it really do be like that sometimes" "ur really smart by the way" "im fucking aware let's kill each other as we both Thought in our Minds" "yes lets" AHDHDHDHDFS WTF THIS IS INSANE
But damn uh. mutual destruction my beloved this is very different from sherliam but im not. im not. opposed to it tucks hair behind ear
I just. Holy shit they really went "if you destroy me I will ensure that we both go down hand in unlovable hand" "I wouldn't mind that"
Annnnd I just noticed that the actual lines for this part kind of. that kind of happened in chapter 31 when sherlock was like i would Gladly die to take down the lord of crime and william was like. hahahah yeahNO NO NO NO
BUT SERIOUSLY THO IM LOSING MY MIND OVER HOW SHERLOCK SAYS THIS WHOLE THING TO WATSON AND HES LIKE DAMN SHAWTY HES LIKE THE REASON FOR HALF THE CRIME IN THIS CITY BUT HES SO NICE THO??? LIKE I EXPECTED HIM TO BE TOUGH AND EVERTHING NO HES JUST SOME POLITE PROPER UNDERSTANDABLE MAN WHO JUST HAPPENS TO BE VERY DIABOLICAL shawty is having a Crisis
And then watson is like wowww that was cool you wanna spend the night and sherlock is like "UNFORTUNATELY BESTIE I AM BEING FUCKING TRACKED DOWN ID LIKE YOU TO NOT DIE WITH ME"
This bit gave me a Moment Moment because oh my god. Then watson is like "no shut up i'm coming with you i don't care" and i just had to Take A Minute because THEY SWITCHED PLACES AAH SHERLOCK IS TRYING TO KEEP WATSON SAFE NOW AND WATSON IS NOW MORE RECKLESS BC OF HIM AND. AHHHH
Completely random but. How sherlock still refers to 221B as "our rooms" to watson even though watson hasn't lived their in years........ shawty i am emotional.........
SO THEY GODDAMN FLEE THE COUNTRY TOGETHER BC WATSON SAYS THEY HAVE TO STICK TOGETHER AND SHERLOCK HAS A MOMENT WHERE HE'S LIKE YEAH NEVERMIND PLEASE GO HOME WATSON AND WATSON IS JUST LIKE. NO. AND HSERLOCK IS LIKE. DAMN OK I HAVE NEVER HEARD YOU SAY THAT BEFORE
But. Ok as funny as this is. They have this fucking Conversation on the train to switzerland where sherlock is like "I have not lived in vain" and watson is like "YOURE NOT DYING" and hes like "i have not lived in vain. like i said. this will not be a bad way to die" UHHHHHH DAMN SHAWTY
hhhhhh and it just Gets. it. it. it Gets. These fuckers get to switzerland and they stay in a hotel and then leave for reichenbach but watson gets this goddamn letter telling him that hes needed at the hotel to basically save this lady's life. And he doesn't. Like. he doesn't even want to go he's like FUCK IT SHE CAN DIE IM NOT LEAVING YOU but sherlock convinces him to go fULLY KNOWING THE LETTER WAS FUCKING FAKED BY MORIARTY JUST AS A PLOY TO GET HIM ALONE
AND THEN HE JUST. WENT ANYWAY AND WATSON HAD TO WATCH HIM JUST LIKE GODDAMN WALK OFF INTO THE SUNSET LIKE "LITTLE DID I KNOW THIS WOULD BE THE LAST TIME I WOULD SEE HIM BUT IT JUST. IT HAD THAT VIBE YKNOW"
God I just. Wow sherlock really did that huh. He really went and did that. And I went over it in the post about this compared to yuumori but it just RUINED me how watson just. Never saw what happened and there's just so little information about it that all they have is these assumptions and pieces that just suggest that these guys met up, walked up to the goddamn waterfall having a nice civil conversation about how talented and smart they both were at this and how they revealed their methods to each other and complimented them because of course they did
And they just sat up there talking to each other so long and Moriarty legit waited politely or even possibly was the one that suggested he write a letter to watson in which sherlock just went "damn lol moriarty's pretty nice actually anyway uhhhh sorry watson ily ✌" and just like. left it up there in his damn cigarette box
But just like. damn the insinuation that moriarty just sat there and watched while he wrote that entire goddamn letter, sealed it up, and then got up and went alright buddy let's go but it makes no goddamn sense if they wanted to actually kill each other and assure they themselves would survive I could name like 23 different ways they could have managed it so easily and they Didn't. they were really set on mutual destruction huh. There's no way they were even trying to do anything but Die Together at that point and that's Something huh
It absolutely baffles me how they could say that these guys had plummetted like, holding each other tho. Like. ok lol but How Do You Even Know
It was certainly a ride. But the fact that Watson had to actively try to think like Sherlock to figure out what happened in the scene was just. The cherry on top. Especially after they'd consciously started to switch roles in this i just. Damn.
In conclusion uhhhhhhhh gay people real I suppose
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Evak Fics - Cheating
** Cheating when they're in a relationship with someone else ** One of them cheats when Isak and Even are together 😞   ** Others: Cheating with a twist, or emotional cheating, or they didn't cheat but was cheated on.   ** Bonus: Lighter fics
***** CHEAT ON SOMEONE ELSE *****
We Can't Keep Doing This by neelabrenner (563 words) - Isak and Even are in their thirties. They love each other deeply, and they are married - but not to each other. Life keeps bringing them together, and they let themselves be lead.
Worth it by ForEvenAndEver (yuraxchan) (842 words) - Love is always worth it, no matter what.
bruise by evak1isak (1.5k words) - Isak is not out in high school. However, this doesn't prevent him from getting a boyfriend. A boyfriend, who, in theory, is in a relationship with a girl.
Artificial and Colored by stormboxx (1.5k words) - Even and Isak stay in the room for the whole day. Well, almost. Right after the scene 'Hjernen er alene' ('The brain is alone')
Neon Party: Redux by givemesumaurgravy (1.7k words) - what if Noora didn’t come home and interrupt our lovely babies the night of the neon party when they almost kissed in the kitchen?
We're something she can't see by suckmyboardbxtch (1.8k words) - Even and Isak have a little place where they can meet and fall in love with each other, even though Isak is Even's second.
whose world is this by withoutwords (1.8k words) - It’s the same Isak who does his own laundry, and cooks his own dinner, and calls his dad for money. But now he kisses boys.
Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow. by withoutwords (2.2k words) - The walk back to school is long. His head and his feet and his bag feel heavier, and his skin burns with the thought of people staring. Strangers and students and friends all staring, like he has it printed big and bold across his forehead. Homo. Home Wrecker. Loser.
Home by endlessandinfinite (2.8k words) - Isak tastes like happiness. Even tastes like trouble. These are the moments that matter. These are the moments they live for. And Isak is home.
never make him (love me) by eliottlallemants (14k words) - Isak is in love with Even. Even isn't in love with Isak. Or so Even thinks.
If You're Under Him [You Ain't Getting Over Him] by givemesumaurgravy (SERIES, 4 fics) (15k words) - Isak Valtersen is happy. He's finally starting his surgical rotation at the hospital where he hopes to work someday and he's happily married to his best friend. But then Isak meets Even, the intriguing new barista where he gets his daily coffee.
After Hours by rokklagio (SERIES, 5 fics) (15k words) - Even was a habit he just couldn't quit. Set ten years later.
I’ll Love You Forever by shk_1991 (16k words) - Isak and Chris are young and in love in their early 20's, they are going to get married and got their long life in front of them. But then it goes wrong and suddenly all their dreams are gone. Not only for Isak and Chris but also for Sonja and Even. Sonja and Even are in their late 30’s and live in a happy marriage with three children. Their marriage is put to the test when Even falls in love with Isak. The question is whether Even and Isak are ready to give up everything for their love.
You'll Kill Me If You Stop by photographer_of_thoughts (22k words) - Isak decides to go and see the film 'Call Me By Your Name' because he can't turn off his own feelings that have been building for a long time now. He thinks he won't see anyone he knows there because this isn't the kind of film his friends or anyone from Nissen would appreciate. But then he sits next to Even, who is also seeing the film alone.
don't you keep it all to yourself by colazitron (24k words) - AU in which Even didn't need to repeat his last year and instead started working at the coffeeshop Isak passes on his way to school every morning.
A Force of Nature by Laika_the_husband (30k words) - In this story Isak Valtersen is a cheating bastard. He will hurt his wife, his lover and himself in the process.
The Workings of Love by endlessandinfinite (36k words) - “So, you’re in love with me.” Isak nods. “And you’re in love with him.” Isak nods. Jonas laughs humorlessly again.
Legitimate Expectations by champagneleftie (57k words) - It's a good time to be Isak Valtersen. The up-and-coming Norwegian authority on matters of freedom of press, several Supreme Court wins already on his resume - and still barely thirty. He's carved out a place in the world that he never thought he'd reach, but sometimes that place just feels a little too small and rigid. Enter Even.
Only You Can Ease My Mind by martls (85k words) - Or the alternate universe where Isak meets Even at the psychiatric hospital his mom was admitted.
***** CHEAT ON EACH OTHER  😞 *****
all my tears have been used up by wolfsbanex (707 words) - He'd lost the only part of his life that made it worth living because of a couple random fucks. How ridiculous.  
When We Were Young by thoughtsafterdark (2k words) - Even and Isak broke up 10 years ago. Isak had just gotten back from New York and his friend Magnus is throwing him a welcome home party. Isak had said specifically NOT to invite Even and Magnus still did.
Liars by endlessandinfinite (3.5k words) - They’re okay. They’re beautiful and tragic and out of control. They lie and cheat - living with broken hearts. But this is it. This is their life.
I can hear your heart crying out for me by Skamtrash (6.1k words) - Isak never thought one intoxicated experience could fuck his life up so much. Isak cheats on Even.
Shatter Me by givemesumaurgravy (6.6k words) - “I’m not going to yell or any of that. I’m just going to make this really fucking awkward and uncomfortable for you.” “W-what?” Even says, sniffling. “I want you to tell me everything that happened,” Isak says.
look how fast the night changes by Skamtrash (7.3k words) - Isak cheats on Even, there's no alcohol, no intoxication. Just a seriously stupid decision.
Im So In Love I Dont Know What To Do by Skamtrash (9.5k words) - Even screwed up when he was drunk and cant hold out from telling Isak any longer.
If It Makes You Happy (Modern Boys part two) by Laika_the_husband (41k words) - Part 2 of Modern Boys series. You should totally read part 1 before this. Set in the 90s. Isak is torn between familiar but unattainable Jonas and dangerous but perfect Even.
Love is a battlefield by Minutebyminute (56k words) - Isak and Even have been drifting apart for a long time. Love conquers all. Love defeats all. Sometimes love pulls you apart. Sometimes for a period in time, sometimes forever. And sometimes love is a battlefield.
All Stories Are Echoes by sebastianL (felix_atticus) (123k words) - This is about potential--realized or not--memory, bravery, movies, accidents, and the nature of stories. Also love, because what other kind of story could it be?
***** OTHERS *****
The lie I didn’t have to tell. by verlore_poplap (orphan_account) (925 words) - Isak has an adultery kink that Even is happy to oblige.
Just This Once by writeawaydays (3.1k words) - Isak finds out his boyfriend has been cheating on him, so he invites the cute guy that's been watching him at school up to his apartment looking for rebound sex.  
The Boy Who Likes Isak's Smile by wyoheartsmusic (7.6k words) - Isak is heartbroken and there is a boy who is very determined to make him smile.
Lyrics and Life by Midlifecrisis (7.9k words) - Not sure how to describe this one. Established relationship. Cheating and not cheating? They are very much in love.
Just not right now by cuteandtwisted (8.1k words) - No cheating but maybe emotional cheating? Ish? "You can't... We can't.. It's not right." Isak settles into an unhealthy longterm relationship with his busy lawyer boyfriend and convinces himself that happiness is not for him. Enter his boyfriend's childhood friend: Even.
I Dare You to Love Me by photographer_of_thoughts (8.4k words) - Isak and Even do not meet in high school but they do meet at Isak's wedding...to someone else. But there's no cheating.  based on the movie "Imagine Me and You"
(WIP) On the Edge of the Night by Laika_the_husband - So this is a complicated one. This story will explore Isak, Jonas and Even from high school to adulthood. There will be no good people here. Nor bad people. Just people. Every protagonist is also an antagonist, and themselves are their greatest enemies.
something sweet (to mend your heart) by cuteandtwisted (22k words) - In which Isak becomes jaded after he gets cheated on and copes using sarcasm and humor. He's determined to end the school year without drama and avoids his ex and all his awful friends at all costs. Well, all of them except maybe half-decent Even Bech Næsheim, who's somehow determined to earn his friendship and fix his heart.
Self Control by nofeartina (28k words) - “I never meant to hurt you, Isak.” Without any pause Isak replies, “Well, you did.” He looks him in the eyes, and continues. “You fucked me up, Even." 10 years later Even comes back to Oslo and Isak has a boyfriend. No cheating but maybe some emotional cheating. Kinda.
Reflections by Laika_the_husband (30k words) - Isak and Even break up and Isak gets a new boyfriend. But Even is very much still in the picture.
No day without it by skambition (32k words) - His hair was a little shorter than Even was used to, and his face had gotten even more beautiful over the last 10 years. The same amazing cheek bones, the same cute little nose, the same flawless, pale skin. And his lips. Those goddamn lips. They brought back memories that Even had tried to forget about for like 10 years now, memories of laughing, smiling, kissing.
and this mist, it makes it hard to see by vesperthine (36k words) - Emotional cheating mostly. In a way, it was escapism. In others, not so much. But Even has only been there for three months when Isak shows up. And it makes a mess out of everything, while other things settle into place.
what i like about you by cammm (44k words) - Insane infatuations turns into a short lived mutual distaste. Until that mutual distaste quickly shifts into something more. Isak has a boyfriend.
Minute by Minute by Lisa94 (56k words) - Isak is angry at the world after his ex Julian cheated on him. But he can´t escape his life or his ex. He needs the help of his friends to find to himself again. (Basically Isak going through the five stages after a break-up)
(WIP) I Can Hardly Breathe by Flatfootmonster - In this universe, Even and Sonja married, so I shouldn't really need to tag infidelity as it is implied (but who is being unfaithful? *dramatic drum roll*)
The Weight Of Us by verlore_poplap (orphan_account) (81k words) - I believe this is a complicated one. It's been a long time since I read it. Isak gets engaged to Emma. Even is married to Sonja. And then a bunch of things happen. Even's sister has cancer
Twice by intothewind (101k words) - Kinda with a twist but also not (shrug emoji). “I told them we were dating, so they’d let me in their band.” Jonas states, shrugging his shoulders like it’s the most nonchalant thing in the world.
***** BONUS *****
FIFA madness by Bellakitse (1.4k words) - Even and Isak are playing FIFA, when Even questions Isak's awesomeness at playing the game. Isak is going to prove him wrong, or he would if Even could keep his hands to himself.
That was cheating by yourfriendlyneighbourhoodme (1.4k words) - As part of Kose group's team building, Isak finds himself dragged on a Laser Tag trip which turns out to be more exciting than he hoped, thanks but no thanks to a certain Even Bech Næsheim.
this is what it's like to be lovers by moonlightphan (4.1k words) - where Isak and Even have a conversation about micro-cheating, and their boundaries.
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uhpeach · 5 years
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oof personal rant about boy and relationship shit below the cut it’s way too long sorry
finally had a talk with boy last night... it started bc they are having a stoplight theme party tn where you wear green if ur single, yellow if it’s complicated, and red if ur taken and he was like “so what color are u thinking of wearing”... and i was like “green i guess bc im single”. but i said it as a joke.... and he was like... “oh well i was thinking yellow”. and i was like “ya me too i guess”... and he was like “ya idk i think most people will either be red or green so we’ll be some of the few yellow ppl which is kinda fun”. and i was like “ok. ya whatever cool”. and he was like “but i’ll wear whatever u want like if u want me to wear red i will”. and i was like “no. no pressure. yellow makes sense.” but then i was making sad girl face i guess and he was like “nooo stop with that face. you’re thinking about something what’s wrong” and then we like went innnnnn with like a convo about “us” or whatever the fuck.
anyways like the things he’s worried about when considering making us official is that he:
1. says he is an extremely jealous and controlling boyfriend? and he does not like who he is as a boyfriend so if he isnt technically a “boyfriend” he has no reason to get that way/can stop himself from being like that. which i like.... dont see at all. and like maybe he had a reason to be like that with his ex but honestly i dont do much or like get hit on so i see it as a non-issue honestly? like im too into him to like even need to be “controlled” like i genuinely want to do whatever he wants bc i just want to see him happy ? but then he said that when he sees me happy it makes him happy and when i keep crying like i have been it makes him really sad and scared that our relationship would be built on a bad foundation. and i see it as the opposite like in spite of what he has done and how he’s hurt me we’ve gotten past it and grown to know each other better and like each other a lot and im still here spending time with him so like idk we think about these things very differently i guess. 
2. he was thinking like soooo far in the future for some reason like... when i met him he was pursuing a finance degree in the business school but he like decided music was something he was really passionate about last year and since then he’s been like learning how to use like music production software and how to play piano since then. so he was saying like he doesn’t want me to see him as like a jobless bum loser when i could be with a guy has a secure upwardly mobile job making 60-70k right out of college while he’s like.... working as a DJ and practicing like music production stuff. and i was like..... what r u talking about like i don’t need you to support me? and if ur worried about how i’ll see you like i just want to see you happy i would rather see that than someone complaining about how much they hate their job and life every day bc like.... idk when you l*ve someone all you really want is to see them happy. and then i told him how i have bragged about him to people who like wish they could change majors about how he’s actually doing something he’s interested in rather than sticking with business school which he hatesss. 
(he started crying sometime during point two into point three)
3. he was worried about not being able to give me the level of attention ur supposed to give someone ur dating. like he was saying how he practices his music stuff in his free time but like when ur dating someone ur supposed to spend like all ur free time with them but i’ll have to like share that time with his music and he like doesn’t want me to feel like he has no time for me? but i was like dude i dont need you actively paying attention when we’re together like the other night i was doing my homework in his room while he practicing and i was just so stoked to be in the room with him even though we were doing our own things. and also like the people in relationships who spend allll their time with their significant others are people i get SO ANNOYED BY i was like dude... i dont want to be like any of those couples like of course i want to spend as much time as possible with you but i have other “relationships” i need to maintain that im not just gonna drop like some of my other couple friends have. like my friendships are super important to me, probably bc i have never been in a relationship so i like really do love and put a lot of focus on my friends, so if he needs time for his music and did need some private time to focus i would just spend that time maintaining my friendships because i love and want to spend time with them too? like it’s not that deep and i’ve been alone for so long im used to it.....
i think there was more but anyway he was thinking SO FAR AHEAD and asking me like what i want to do and where i want to go after graduation and im like ????? i .. dont know ??? omg ???? what does this have to do with like dating right now like are u never gonna date anyone again until ur ready to date them until marriage im ? confused? i.. legitimately was NOT thinking this far ahead ? but then he kept bringing up how like feelings fade and he like want to make sure his college friends are lifelong friends and how a breakup would make it so that’s a more difficult thing for us to be and im like i get it ? i have brought up that point to so many people like it used to be that i cared more about having him in my life forever like at least as a friend just bc i like him so much but now it’s harder to be like that bc i like him SO SO much like... idk imagining never having been official a few years down the road and just being that girl he had a “thing” with in college. bc that’s not what i want to be to him. like if we do stop liking each other i dont want to have to meet his future girlfriend or fucking wife and be like hi im olivia.. his friend from college. like just calling what we have “friendship” hurts so bad and if i had to look at someone he like loves in the future and call myself just a friend from college that would fucking kill me. like at least if we were exes i would be like hey im his friend-ex-then friend again from college. ya haha things didnt work out but i’ll always care about this guy ur lucky to have him. ya know. there’s a difference.
and all the things i was concerned about were suchhhh immediate issues like... im only not satisfied by the relationship status of like being a “thing” bc i want to actually be taken on dates..  and have someone who would be happy to like bring me coffee if im having a rough day (and like so it wouldnt be weird if i did little things like that too) and so we could like go on a trip together or like as it stands it would be weird for me to like bring him home for a few days and be like “hello family this is my good friend :) we are going to share a bed bc we are... friends :)” like you cant tell ur family about ur “thing” bc like o ur really good friends that care a lot about each other and have sex but ur not dating... like that gives parents too much to think about it’s gross.... and it would be weird for him to bring me to like his hometown to meet his friends and what not bc we are just like ... a thing? and i WANT to do that stuff like it would mean so much to me. but like you only do that with ppl ur dating and i want to be with someone who can like share their life with me and i can share mine with them if that makes sense. also u know what i think it’s fair of me to want to be able to call someone my boyfriend like. that is a word i have never gotten to use and when i like hear it in movies and tv shows and even when friends say it i feel like im being fucking stabbed. like i have never gotten to be a girlfriend and i feel like people see me as less of a person because of that, especially being in my 20s now. idk just like societal pressures are getting to me i hate being a sociology major im like super analyzing like the roles i am “supposed” to take to live up to what it is to be a woman in our society. like i have been a daughter, a friend, a coworker, a sister but i have never been a girlfriend and that is something i feel like an innate internalized NEED to experience idk like it’s just beat into you by media and peers and parents from when ur like a kid until you actually do fulfill the prescribed gender based roles... like if i am not a wife or a mother in my life i might fucking kill myself like ik roles and labels are meaningless but i NEED THEM to like give me identity and security. anyways. uh that was a lot. if u read all this and i don’t sound insane lmk!
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bladekindeyewear · 5 years
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Boots reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 6 - Meat Page 16
==>  (Whoa, went a long while before splitting posts, there.  Dangerous, with how often I’ve lost stuff to Tumblr page reloads in the past.)
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Oh, you’ve realized Zazzerpan’s relevance as foreshadowing for the trolls or whatever, Rose?
Oh my god, PLEASE don’t put Rose inside a fucking robot.  >:|
Oh SHIT wait.  That one wizard Roxy named her cat after who wanted all the knowledge in the world, got overloaded and then crushed by the giant textbook or whatever???  That’s disturbingly Rose-similar here.  D:
Rose, puns.  Please.
Hm, you think it applies to you all now instead of the trolls?  Huh.  Do you think some of you might become villains and get Just deaths?
..Huh, wait.  Numerological significance?  Are we actually learning what 413 means?  Or learning that it was meant to be bullshit all along instead?  I’m “Hmmm”ing loudly either way...
Ow, ouch.  So a Light player wasn’t designed to properly live outside of canon significance, or??
Ooh.  She’s not sure that if she opens herself up to all the knowledge of her other selves, that it’d be “her” anymore.  A pretty legitimate fear... and one Dirk is perfectly disposed to disabuse her of.  As a Heart player, he’d understand better than most that the entire combination of one’s various states over all timelines IS you, and the unique direction your will and uniqueness embodies across whatever it touches.  Or something.
...Wait, wait a minute.  Before I keep reading........ I didn’t actually CLICK the candy button yet.  What if Candy just redirects to AO3 or something.  Like, the candy bit is all of our fanfics.  Oh jeez.
Okay reading on before that possibility drives me insane.
DIRK: I’m not sure anyone should be allowed to have that much foresight. Especially a guy like me.
...Mhmm, especially since in part that’s how we got Doc Scratch, yeah.
Reading to the end of this page, and........
Yeah, what the FUCK just happened.
So... is this Dirk BEING a villain?  Doing some sort of weird almost cherubic Eye thing to kind of supplant Rose as he becomes a Scratch-like fanfic narrator or... Let me reread these last few paragraphs a couple times...
Is he really sort of “puppeteering” Rose?  Is this like the birth of a god-tier villain or just a temporary respite he’s giving her sort of underhandedly for an actual good cause to help her out of her situation??  Or is “death” or a death of the self the actual solution he had for her mess???  I mean... the metatextual awareness bit that he’s speaking through in the last sentence is clearly something like what comes of ascending completely and going beyond the story to be able to write it like Caliborn or Doc Scratch might or... y’know what, fuck it.  I’ll understand it in later pages.  I have to keep reading if this is going to make sense to me.
This next button better not lead straight back to the fucking selection screen again.
==>
Oh shit, a giant Dirk section.  Only fitting that he might have been writing most of this all along possibly.
Undercurrent of narrative significance.  Oh shit.  Is he going to go off about Light, about the story parts not mattering?  Or that the fact that this IS a story and... from what I accidentally skimmed in sentences below before reading further, how we’re trapping them in a story by reading it or something???  Hence the idea that their existences are being “blighted” by the subtext of narrative significance, and would be better FREE of it?
Huh.  Is this really going to work?  As, like... a body slam of people who were too caught up in the forest of narrative purpose to see into the trees of the point he wanted to make with the finale?  It’s practically Andrew talking to the audience from within the story about their frustrations, heh.
Yeah, this whole rant is pretty awesome so far.  I forgot to mention it a few paragraphs ago, but when you look at the story list, the Epilogues are listed as “stories of dubious authenticity”, so is this whole thing like... how DIRK might have written the ending out?  Just to emphasize further that this whole thing is kind of pointless compared to the infinite possibility that was the reward for their escape from the confines of such story-stuff?
Cool.  Sounds like we’re seeing the “good end” that Dirk would have written for this story if he were to write one that still answers plotlike questions, or something similar to it.  That and/or he’s also engineering things in-canon -- or as “canon” as the victory planet is -- to follow all this for the end result he has in mind, and it comes across as practically Doc Scratch-y in the way it ties in metatextual awareness and stuff.  Either way, it DOES feel like Andrew might successfully be making his point.
==>
Pff.  This is going to be a bit interesting.  And, of course, unstuck-in-canon John can hear the narrator speaking.
And now John has ANOTHER story to get annoyed at the narrator of, heh.
The tooth is poisoned? Really? Did you just make that up or?
Okay, why suddenly the wallet, fanfic writer? Is he going to find touching pictures or just captchalogue the black hole?
This is all starting to feel a whole lot less serious, and I can’t help but figure that’s the intent.
==>
Pff, back to the B plot.  Yay Jade!  --Please don’t be metatextually aware like John and let’s get more actual story.
Phew, seems to be the case
...Is Karkat going to remake this post-scarcity society to be more Communist? Is that where we’re going here?
Alright, Roxy’s gonna be all voidy and Neutral and not want an impact on the election, from the sound of it?
GAAAHHH Jade is in love with all her friends and afraid of being alone.  AAAH FEELS
--Oh huh, so because Jane’s been in the distance putting on the Perfect act she thinks she has to pull, she’s gone down in her friends’ opinions even if that isn’t really her???  That’s pretty reassuring as an alternative, actually.  Leave it to Roxy to see everything crystal goddamn clear as usual.
Ooh, pronoun mishap.
Holy SHIT Roxy’s gonna go along with it.  That’s nonbinary-awesome!  And Dirk’s just fucking flabbergasted, I love it.
Pff, Dirk’s screwing it up outside too
yep, everyone ectobiologically had kids with everyone, really.
Oh, ow.  Something about the whole black hole green sun thing is fucking with her.  That, or, like...  Huh, might the whole metatextual ascension thing mean that she actually BECOMES that other Jade floating about for a hot minute, the one in the A-side plot??
==>
Ow this excellent narrative is pretty painful.  Like, empathetically inducing pain through really good description of pain and angst.  Ow.
Oh shit, alt!Calliope has a plan.  Maybe she’s able to use this black hole to re-begin Paradox Space and close the loop once everything’s absorbed or something, and needs a Jade’s help for it?
==>
Phew, some relative silliness with some of the others.  That vivid description of a Jade’s suffering was starting to give my stomach a cramp.  Actually, ANY vivid description of Jade’s suffering gives my stomach a cramp.  Or any allusion to it, even, heck even without WORDS.  I saw a Jadey song redux show up on my Youtube dashboard a few nights ago and had to turn it off after less than thirty seconds because I was about to throw up listening to the tune and staring at the image from my stomach clenching SO HARD.  I am WAY too attached to Jade in particular to tolerate her suffering without serious emotional feedback on my part.
Okay, breathe.  Breathe deeply, and keep reading...
....PFF, yes, Karkat.  Finally acknowledge it’s disgusting.  Birth is disgusting from any species really.
Yaaaay Kanaya! :)
Pfffff, Dave does record scratches with his hands mid-conversation like a fucking dab.  He would.
KANAYA: I Am Impressed That You Managed To Be Seen In Front Of That Many People Without Spontaneously Bursting Into Flames
I’m laughing
We internalize and project the quality in very different ways, however, which is why I’m going to win.
Win?!????
Win WHAT, the election???  Is that your only grand plan or... I mean fuck, way to be Doc-Scratch-like ominous!  Reading on...
...Yeah, Feferi was definitely a proto-Fascist too.  :)
Oh, huh. “Power Corrupts In Small Steps”... is this whole President thing going to be a big-ass metaphor for gaining your God powers without abusing them?? And pointing out that Jane is hella abusing her status in a way that COULD become villainous if it goes too far?  Victory is supposed to give you the ability to create a universe, but you’re not necessarily supposed to lord over it with an iron fist...
KARKAT: WHEN I HEAR ABOUT HOW HUMAN GRUBS CHEW THEIR WAY OUT OF THE FEMALE MATESPRIT’S ABDOMINAL HOLE BEFORE CONSUMING THE WOMB MEMBRANE IT MAKES ME WANT TO VOMIT.
Pffffffff
KANAYA: He Is Beloved In The Troll Kingdom For His Perky Ass DAVE: seriously? KARKAT: I TOLD YOU IT’S NOT JUST ME! KANAYA: It Has Some Terrible Arcane Power KANAYA: I Have Never Seen Anything Like It
I am laughing out loud here
pff dave’s doubtlessly imagined this at least as much as the rest of us
YESSS make fun of ship names some more, especially the ship names I’m not a fan of even though I’m such a fan of the pairing :D
KANAYA: Im Going To Call My Wife And You Are Going To Stop Talking
Why do I love that sentence so much.  Is it just because it has the word wife in it.  Probably.
At the other side of the cavern, Dave and Karkat bicker about what their combo kids would look like, in the event that they decided to stop being such laughable wusses and began fornicating like two cartoon animals of different species who have given into their lust.
Pffff.  Yeah, Dirk would put it that way.
Pffffff.  Not as adept at handling all sides of the story at the same time as you were as part of Doc, eh?
==>
Reading reading reading... Oh, adorable, he tried to slip a fish pun into Meenah’s name but couldn’t think of one.
...Oh SHIT, is he going to give Meenah the ring of life she wanted??? :D
Oh pff, that works too.  :D
==>
Okay, time for maybe at least a SLIGHT explanation of whatever the FUCK Dirk might have or might not have done to Rose or something????
...Huh.  What exactly are you trying to “fix” about Kanaya and Rose’s relationship, Dirk?  Something that didn’t fix itself with just the two of them together?
I mean...... Rose’s substance abuse never fixed itself when it was just two of them together on the first-run meteor.  And she’s been taking pills and trying to stave off her destiny out of fear while her wife hasn’t really been digging into her insecurities... I mean maybe he has a point.
SHADOWS around her??????  D:
==>
Yeah yeah, John drifting.  I just remembered what one of those “server beacons” they were mentioning actually is, too, visually.  Knowing it had an escape route helped.
What are you even gonna do with the slippers, gift them to Terezi when she comes flying in?  (Also, right, just remembered he’s a Breath player so it’s only natural that he actually finds whatever there is to find “coincidentally” around here, like that wallet.)
Ooh, you REALLY were thinking about Terezi over the past years from the sound of it.  And here she is or whatever.  :)
1 C4N ST1LL TOUCH TYP3 1N H3R L33T SP34K W1THOUT 4NY 4SS1ST4NC3 3XC3PT C4PS LOCK ON 4FT3R 4LL TH3S3 Y34RS  >:]
==>
Okay okay okay wait.  Her shadow is talking??? Is this, like... Jungian shadow stuff? Inversion shadow stuff?  What the fuck is going on.  It better not be Inversion-related.
Let me read that again.
Her shadow has faded to light behind her, assuming the shape of a Rose-like apparition. I nod to her, and she continues. When she speaks, it’s almost as if it’s the apparition that’s doing the talking.
That’s weird and I don’t entirely know what it means. I’d better just keep fucking reading.
Fun philosophical banter.  I didn’t know what “Hegelian dialectics” were until I read some big rant on someone’s Fallout New Vegas playthrough earlier last month.
ROSE: I think free will is a thing, sure. DIRK: Are you sure about that? ROSE: ... DIRK: Haven’t we spent the entire day having a feelings jam on how none of us got here by accident?
Ah, here we’re going with some Ultimate Riddle-y stuff.
Or wait, are we adding a bit on to that concept now?  Because it now seems like a large PART of the Ultimate Riddle stuff I covered (FUCK dropbox for breaking all the images) that might be revealed in this part of the damn epilogue is the whole the-only-way-to-have-true-free-will-is-to-escape-the-narrative-imposed-on-us or something along with the rest of it.
Hm, that whole “become One God” bit that Dirk ranted about in the beginning of one of the John sections... is that his ambition here?  I didn’t comment on the rantparagraph earlier because the “one” part of it threw me as possibly just some philosophical stuff he was musing about, but it’s like... I mean Dirk is the narrator right now, and it sounds like he wants to *BE* the narrator.  Like, become the one truly in control of this whole story.  With his orange Andrew-colored text or whatever.  Is that what he meant by “win”, winning control of the entire narrative, turning everyone else in the story into mere extensions of himself that he was “writing” by virtue of being the only author?
And him getting thwarted in that task, showing that it’s better if there really is NO narrator and the characters can do whatever they imagine in infinite branches and our imaginations, is the victory that proves the point of the story.  Or something.  Hmm.
Also, huh.  Like... I mean that IS a natural extension of a Prince of Heart if he were to turn to villainy.  A grand ambition to destroy everyone’s individuality until they’re nothing but Himself.  Right?
DIRK: Your Ultimate Self, that which is revealed when the mind’s partitions are stripped away, and all potentiality of who you are and what you could have been flow together. DIRK: Those are the experiences and processes that are refusing to stay bundled, that’s what your body can’t endure. The unbundling itself is your mind coming apart. DIRK: Because you’re not as strong as me. Not yet. DIRK: But you can be. DIRK: I’m working on that.
Because she’ll “BE” you?  Because you’ll be everyone?  Hm.
DIRK: But for now, I’m focused on stabilizing you with my own expanding consciousness. DIRK: It’s enveloping you now, in a way you can’t see. Keeping your thoughts solid, your identity anchored to your physical form as it strains to hold itself together. DIRK: You can’t see it, what I’m talking about. But I can help you. DIRK: I can help you see what I see, if only for a little while. DIRK: All you have to do is open your eyes. DIRK: Maybe what you see will help you through this.
Okay so maybe this all ain’t TOTALLY fucking sinister.  Just partially.  Hmm.
I’m not going to describe what she sees. First of all, that would be spoiling it. Unless you already know, in which case, I guess what’s taking place here qualifies as something closer to dramatic irony. But if you really want to see it for yourself, stop what you’re doing, flip the whole thing over, and begin again. I’ll be right here when you get back, waiting. Trust me, no one’s going anywhere.
Hahahahah.  So the candy part IS written.  I mean I was pretty sure, but it’s nice to have it acknowledged here.  Pretty awesome.  I won’t stop here to read it, I’ll get to the candy part eventually as a nice dessert.
All she needs is a nudge in the right direction.
We’re family. We belong together. And after years of micromanaging the inconsistent and confused desires of total imbeciles, wouldn’t it be a relief to have someone by my side who understood me?
Stop being so incestuous.  Dirk, you’re just getting off on the CONCEPT of incest being part of the flavor of all this, aren’t you.  That’s why you kept pushing things this way, you want it to be as uncomfortable as possible.
...wait, yeah he’s just talking about being a metatextual ascended, isn’t he.
Her body should be dead now.
I’M SORRY WHAT THE FLYING FUCK.
And Rose has... what, ascended but somehow given in to Dirk’s puppeteering of existence, or?  Ugh.
Next post, I wanna keep reading already to get through all this bullshit.  Then once I’ve figured it all out, I can rest comfortably back with the Candy side which Rose practically just promised me is potentially TOO SUGARY which is really enticing as a prospect.
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rosymiel · 5 years
Note
1-100.. bitch
oh FUCK you (im jk.. i love you..)
The meaning behind my url: i love french, and so i wanted to spice up my url and have it not be sims related from the get-go (my previous url was ughplumb). at first i wanted my url to be “cherry wine” in french because my favorite song of all time is cherry wine by hozier, however the url was already taken. i settled for rosy honey, hence rosymiel
A picture of me: honestly just look at my tag “kyla has a face”! i don’t have any new selfies of myself aside from what i’ve posted.
How many tattoos i have and what they are: i only have one, and it’s right in between my shoulder blades on my back. it’s of my family’s crest, which says “miseris succurrere disco”, which basically means to help people in need.
Last time i cried and why: last night because i was watching queer eye
Piercings i have: i used to have my ears pierced, but i hated keeping track of my earrings so i just let them close up. i wish i never let them close up, and now i also want to get my nose pierced 
Favorite band: i don’t really listen to any bands, just artists!
Biggest turn offs: burping and chewing sounds. chewing sounds legitimately anger me so much, i don’t know why
Top 5 songs: Cherry Wine (Hozier), Rain On Me (Joji), IDFC (Blackbear), I Love You (Billie Eilish), The Night We Met (Lord Huron)
Tattoos I want: OHHHHH MY GOD i want so many!!!! i just honestly want my body to be covered in flower tattoos to the point that i’m just a walking garden!! i really want to get a pair of watercolor roses or lilies right under my collarbones!!
Biggest turn ons: good cologne. i don’t know why, but cologne makes me go insane, i love it so much
Age: 18 going on 19!
Ideas of a perfect date: relaxing at home and cuddling with my boyfriend while watching our favorite show
Life goal: oh god this is super deep and i’ve sat on this question for a fat minute and all i can think about is how much i want to be content with myself, so i guess that’s my goal
Piercings i want: nose and ear piercings, babie!!!
Relationship status: happily taken!
Favorite movie: oh god, probably across the universe. i’ve loved it ever since i was a kid
A fact about my life: i’ve been in choir almost all my life
Phobia: the dark. when i was a kid i used to see faces on my walls when my room was dark
Middle name: marie
Height: 5′5.5 (basically just 5′6)
Are you a virgin?: yessirree 
What’s your shoe size?: 7
What’s your sexual orientation?: i’m pretty straight, but i think i’m heteroflexible. i’d definitely get down and nasty with a girl, but i’ve never felt any romantic attraction towards females
Do you smoke, drink, or take any drugs?: no, my parents smoked cigarettes for most of my life, and my dad regularly smokes weed. the smell of weed makes my head hurt and makes me feel nauseous, so no thanks.
Someone you miss: my boyfriend. he’s been on a family trip to cuba, and he hasn’t contacted anyone (including me) in almost 10 days. i miss him so much that it genuinely hurts.
What’s one thing you regret?: not learning to love myself sooner and finding comfort in feeling depressed because it’s something familiar
First celebrity you think of when someone says attractive: zendaya 
Favorite ice cream?: i don’t eat a whole lot of ice cream, so i guess cookies and cream
One insecurity: my teeth. my two teeth next to my front teeth are pointed, and i used to get called a vampire when i was young. i was always bullied for it, and for most of my life i would cover my mouth with my hand whenever i laughed or smiled. a recent incident that comes to mind was sophomore year in high school in my english class. i sat next to my friend mooney (i called her by her last name because we met in gym), and one day she was talking to the guy infront of her about how pretty she thought i was, and how she thought that i could’ve been a model. the guy who sat in front of me, who’s name was tristan and was also in my choir the previous year, said that i’d be pretty with me if my teeth weren’t so fucked up. 
What my last text message says: “god this fan feels so nice”
Have you ever taken a picture naked?: :)
Have you ever painted your room?: no, but i’ve tried painting the bathroom with my mom
Have you ever kissed a member of the same sex?: nope
Have you ever slept naked?: yeah?????????
Have you ever danced in front of your mirror?: i can’t dance, so absolutely not
Have you ever had a crush?: yeah??!??!?!!? ofc. i had a major crush on my current boyfriend, and he had a crush on me first before we started dating. it’s actually a really cute story
Have you ever been dumped?: yeah, twice. my last one was really brutal, but not because of how he dumped me.
Have you ever stole money from a friend?: nope
Have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met?: nope
Have you ever been in a fist fight?: nope
Have you ever snuck out of your house?: nah, i’m a goody-two-shoes
Have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?: oh HELL yeah
Have you ever been arrested?: nope, and not planning on it!
Have you ever made out with a stranger?: nope!! 
Have you ever met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere?: not in a sexual or romantic way, no
Have you ever left your house without telling your parents?: nah
Have you ever had a crush on your neighbor?: i don’t think so??
Have you ever ditched school to do something more fun?: i ditched my nesika (which was like homeroom, but only two days of the week rather than daily) to go to a coffee stand with a friend
Have you ever slept in a bed with a member of the same sex?: not in a sexual or romantic way
Have you ever seen someone die?: no, and i really don’t want to :^(
Have you ever been on a plane?: yup!! i love it
Have you ever kissed a picture?: maybe…………… :’^)
Have you ever slept in until 3?: oh my GOD no. i fall asleep relatively early and wake up early, even on my days off.
Have you ever loved someone or miss someone right now?: yeah??? lowkey this question is phrased in a weird way
Have you ever laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?: oh my god yes, it’s so relaxing
Have you ever made a snow angel?: yup!!!!
Have you ever played dress up?: oh HELL yes i have!!!
Have you ever cheated while playing a game?: okay does anyone remember doing the stock market game in freshmen year/middle school in history class? my friend and i looked up the answers online and cheated. we were rich that day in that class.
Have you ever been lonely?: i’m lonely right now
Have you ever fallen asleep at work/school?: maybe for 10 seconds, but no
Have you ever been to a club?: nope!
Have you ever felt an earthquake?: i don’t think so, no
Have you ever touched a snake?: SDKJGBSD NO!!!!!
Have you ever ran a red light?: nope!
Have you ever been suspended from school?: nope!!!!
Have you ever had detention?: i had lunch detention for saying “stfu” to a guy who was bugging me in 5th grade. i thought i was the shit for that.
Have you ever been in a car accident?: nope!
Have you ever hated the way you look?: 100%. i’ve always had huge insecurities surrounding my body or how i look.
Have you ever witnessed a crime?: bruh i literally stole a pack of gum from a store when i was 4. i COMMITTED a crime. in my defense, i stole it for my mom to make her happy. i got yelled at
Have you ever pole danced?: nope, but i would love to! it looks like a really good workout!
Have you ever been lost?: i got lost just last week
Have you ever been to the opposite side of the country?: nope!!! i don’t travel much
Have you ever felt like dying?: yes. i used to be suicidal
Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?: hell yeah babie!
Have you ever sang karaoke?: i sing karaoke on youtube almost every single day. not only that, but on the first day of practicing for my high school graduation i stopped by my choir class before it began (seniors got out earlier than everyone else), and i sang karaoke with them.
Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t?: 100%
Have you ever laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?: NO?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Have you ever slept with someone at least 5 years older or younger?: no
Have you ever kissed in the rain?: how can u kiss the rain. bruh.
Have you ever sang in the shower?: i sang in the shower earlier today
Have you ever made out in a park?: nope!
Have you ever dream that you married someone?: yep!!!!
Have you ever glued your hand to something?: i don’t think so????
Have you ever got your tongue stuck to a flag pole?: no, but i got my tongue stuck to one of those metal low monkey bar things.
Have you ever gone to school partially naked?: no?????
Have you ever been a cheerleader?: no, but my childhood friend and i wanted to be cheerleaders in high school before i moved to a different state
Have you ever sat on a roof top?: nope
Have you ever brushed your teeth?: who are you, my mom?
Have you ever been too scared to watch scary movies alone?: oh my GOD yes
Have you ever played chicken?: nope!! im a pussy
Have you ever been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?: nope!
Have you ever been told you’re hot by a complete stranger?: not that i’m hot, but i’ve gotten many compliments from strangers
Have you ever broken a bone?: nope!
Have you ever been easily amused?: i used to be one of those kids that would laugh before they could finish a joke
Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?: i’ve laughed so hard that i’ve pissed myself. so yes.
Have you ever mooned/flashed someone?: i mean????
Have you ever cheated on a test?: i cheated on a 2nd grade spelling test. who knew that i would end up actually being great at spelling shit
Have you ever forgotten someone’s name?: oh my god i have the worst memory and i’m terrible with names
Have you ever met someone who didn’t seem real?: my boyfriend :’’’’^)
Give us one thing about you that no one knows: a couple friends know, but when i’m too lazy to throw on shoes or socks to walk around the house i just pull my sweatpants legs a bit over my feet and just wrap it around my feet. it’s weird
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scaryscarecrows · 6 years
Text
Roots and Leaves, Pt. 6
DC did it first. Take your grievances to them.
Jason and Sheila e-mail back and forth for about a week before she says that she has Thursday off so if he has Thursday off does he want to meet for lunch again?
Last time wasn’t bad. Not a lot of staring or people or anything. He can…he can probably do it again. And it’s a few days away still, so he has time to psyche himself up or, worst case scenario, fake his death and move to Canada.
And it’s been a week and she hasn’t pulled out the Pity Card on him yet and maybe…maybe this’ll all work out okay. She might never be Mom, because Catherine’s always gonna be Mom, but…but she could be Mother, maybe. He can see that in the distant (or not-so-distant?) future.
But he’s not going to rush into things, that’s what got him here in the first place. Patience, grasshopper.
Thursday rolls around and he hasn’t faked his death and moved to Canada, so he has no choice but to put on jeans and a hoodie and resign himself to a couple of hours, easy, of no sunglasses and no e-book shield.
Sorry, any small children who might come out of this traumatized.
Okay. He brings his Kindle anyway, and his sunglasses for the journey, and sticks to his normal Civilian Weaponry-couple’a knives, one pair of brass knuckles tucked into a hidden pocket in his hoodie. Last thing he needs is for someone to pick up a bullet, match it to the Red Hood’s, and come knocking on his door. His luck is bad enough that’s exactly what would happen.
Besides, it’s noon on a Thursday, and even in Gotham that’s a slow hour. Bank robbers gotta eat, too.
The monorail ride there is literal Hell (three fighting couples, two crying kids and old man with no personal spaaaaace!) and he’s literally gasping for air when he stumbles out of the car. He likes people. Honest. If he legitimately hated them all, he wouldn’t risk his life to help them. But interacting with them…he could do without that, mostly.
Whatever. Whatever. It’s over, he lived, he’s had worse.
(And no, he doesn’t hear faint cackling in his head, and that’s final.)
It’s windy today, the type of wind that buffets people every which way and is determined to keep his hood off his head. He fidgets with the drawstrings until it’ll stay and buries his hands in his pockets. Wind sucks. He can feel pollen and dust and Gotham Grime being blown onto his skin.
“Jason!”
Is he there already?
Sheila…looks a lot more haggard than she did before. He tries to remember if she’d mentioned being horribly busy, doesn’t think she did, and figures that to be fair, he hasn’t mentioned the bruise that goes halfway up his back.
She smiles, her awkward driver’s license smile, and waves. Yeah, she doesn’t…it must’ve been a long week, or maybe a rough drive or something. She looks tired.
“Hi.” He’s not sure what to call her, still. Miss Haywood is too disconnected, Sheila’s too personal, and it’s way, way too soon for Mother. Names are a pain. “I’m not late, am I?” He knows he’s not. “Monorail was packed.”
“So was the subway. Can I…?”
Her arms are half-out and he figures she’s asking for a hug. He can do a hug, as long as it’s a short hug.
“Yeah. Thanks for the warning.”
Holy crap, she feels frail. But to be fair, barring Dick’s tackle-hug, everyone’s felt frail since…since. So it could just be him. Hugs are weird now.
(“HUG YOUR DADDY!”)
No. Not today. Everything’s fine.
It’s a sort-of short hug, short enough, anyway, and he wonders, abstractedly, if a day will ever come that he’s used to that sort of thing again. If it even matters whether he does or doesn’t.
It does. Of course it does. And the day will come, in time, and he’ll be better, be normal, be what people want him to be.
Little steps.
* * *
They’ve fallen into a companionable silence and for once Jason’s not jumping whenever someone walks by in a purple sweater or anything when Sheila forces her lips out from between her teeth and says, “I know you were Robin.”
Well. That’s, uh, there’s that out of the way.
“Yeah.” There’s clearly no point in denying it. She probably put it together when Batman came knocking. “For a little while, yeah. I was.” He tastes blood, wonders how long he’s been doing that, and wishes he had gum. Or a mint. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right off, I just…old habits die hard, I guess.”
“Oh God, no, no, I didn’t mean-” She takes a drink. Her hands are shaking, she’s shaking and he doesn’t know what’s wrong. “I just. I thought I should probably make it clear that I did know, so you wouldn’t…I know I was absent, but I don’t want…you shouldn’t feel like you have to hide things from me.”
Oh. That’s. He doesn’t know what to say. Bruce, God knows, has the emotional capabilities of a Himalayan Salt Lamp. Thankfully Jason hadn’t been the type to go through crushes every two weeks, or he probably would have been in Hell. He certainly wouldn’t have…it’s not like he would have shut down the conversation, but sharing and caring? That would have been awkward and best not repeated. Alfred was the go-to for that sorta thing.
All right, then. Since they’re dropping sudden bombshells ‘n all…he has to know.
“You worked for Joker.” There. It’s out. He said it.
And now he kinda regrets it-the self-loathing on her face is a pretty good match for his own, and he can’t tell himself it’s anything less than deep, deep wishing to have made better choices.
“I did.” She straightens up, begins tearing apart a piece of bread on her plate. “Briefly. I’m not proud, but he had a line to my mother, knew where she lived, knew her schedule…knew.” She swallows hard. “Knew she had to rubber-band her jam jars because she couldn’t open them otherwise. I panicked. But it was only for a couple of months-pills, he wanted pills, as much as I could get him. And then he just…went away. I don’t know what he did with them.”
Honestly, after everything, he can’t…he doesn’t have the right to say much. And honestly? There was that one guy, who accidentally cut the fucker off in traffic and couldn’t get away from him.
And look at him. The first man he killed, that wasn’t…oh, sure, he probably had it coming, at least a little, but Jason wasn’t thinking about that or considering it like he does now, he just…he wanted to kill Bruce. Because that was right and reason at the time even though he knows it’s insanity now.
No, he can’t say much.
“I’m sorry,” he says softly, and it’s suddenly easier to look at his hands. “I didn’t…that sounds awful.”
“No.” She tips his chin up and it’s an effort not to pull away and to remember that it’s fingers, warm human fingers, and not the pointy end of a crowbar against his skin. “You deserved to know. It’s only fair.”
Truth be told, it’s a relief to know that she hadn’t…yeah, technically she could’ve…maybe done something different, but she hadn’t wanted to work for him. She wasn’t like the ones he’d christened Dumb and Dumber that…they enjoyed that kinda work.
Lunch is finished in relative silence after that, though, and he’s wondering what’s going to happen now when she rifles through her purse and swears.
“Damn…I meant to grab an old photo album I wanted to show you, with some old family pictures and things.”
Pictures of Willis? Yeah, he’s good. Pictures of other people might be interesting, though.
“Next time?”
“My apartment’s a few blocks over.”
Something feels off. He’s paranoid, he knows he’s paranoid, but something…she’s been shaky and weird all afternoon and he doesn’t…
Calm the fuck down, you freak out when someone window-shops for too long!
“Is everything…is everything okay?”
Or maybe something is wrong-she pulls a napkin over and there’s suddenly a pen in her hand.
“I really do want you to see these pictures, Jason,” she says, but her hand is moving and there’s the ever-so-faint skrit-skrit of pen on paper. “I swear you got my mother’s eyes.”
The napkin slides over to him and he glances down. Her handwriting’s spikey and awful-doctor writing to the bone-but his is no better and he can read it well enough.
An old colleague has been hanging around the hospital lately.
Oh.
That explains a bit.
“Sure.”
Her shoulders drop and she crumples the napkin, nails picking it into shreds.
“I’m sorry to do this to you,” she says softly, nearly too soft for him to hear, and he’s quick to shake his head.
“No, no, I don’t mind, I’m glad you…if there’s anything I can do to…”
Shit, she looks like she’s going to start crying and that is indeed PANIC in his throat. Tears are not good.
“You’re a good boy.” Her voice is watery but there are no tears to be seen. Thank Jesus. “I promise next time we have lunch it’ll be normal.”
Oh, good, things haven’t plummeted down to fiery Hell because of all the revelations flying around.
“Everything’s gonna be fine,” he says, and whoops that’s his ‘all will be well, citizen, never fear!’ voice. But it must work, because the about-to-cry look disappears. “Um. Do you wanna…it looks like it’s gonna rain, should we get going?”
And so they do.
* * *
The wind has picked up and it smells like rain. He’s not looking forward to patrol later.
The wind’s not so bad, though, to stop Sheila from lighting up with a self-depreciating, “I know I’m a doctor and should know better, but I honestly don’t care.”
“I can’t really say anything.” He holds up his own pack and rattles it before pulling one out. It’s not as calming as it usually is and he doesn’t know why.
Eh. It’s been a long day, that’s all. He’s not used to interacting with people on a personal level anymore, which is his own fault and probably not necessarily a good thing.
The first few drops have started to fall when they arrive at her building-big, square, and simplistic. She fishes out her keys while they’re in the elevator (which smells like new car, for some reason).
The hallway is deserted. It’s a little creepy, to be honest-his own building might be crap, but there’s always activity. And then, of course, there was Arkham’s hallways, or what he could hear of them. Noisy. Always noisy. But this? Wayne Manor was silent like this. It unsettled him then and it unsettles him now. Call him a city boy, whatever, but he needs noise.
The brass knuckles and knives in his jacket are warm and comforting and he knows he’s not gonna need ‘em, but they make up for this creepy-ass silence.
Sheila opens the door and motions him inside. It’s dark inside-blackout curtains, probably-but he can hear the rain. It smells like new car in here, too, and he wonders, off-handedly, why-
-it’s not empty. He’s walked into one too many ‘empty’ buildings to be very, very attuned to the sound of somebody breathing. Okay. Be calm, back out and shut the door.
He’s about to do exactly that when the light switch clicks and bathes the whole place in stark white. White walls, white floors, white furniture.
Which only makes Harley Quinn stick out like a sore thumb in all that red and black.
“BAY-BEE!” She could never hope to match Joker’s grin, but she gives it a good go, stretching her makeup. Okay. Change of plans. Get Sheila out of here (and preferably out of the building), deal with Quinn. “It’s been a whiiiiile!”
He takes in the mallet leaning against the couch and the shotgun (are those fuzzy dice? Really?) in her hands and comes to the conclusion that great, she’s riding the crazy train.
But maybe she hasn’t seen Sheila yet. Where’s that goddamn light switch?
He moves, only a little, only to feel the unmistakable press of a gun against his lower back.
“Don’t. Move.”
And the world drops out from under him.
No. No, no, no, she said she quit, it was over, she said they’d let her go, she said-
The door shuts. He twists so he can still see Quinn in his peripheral. Sheila’s face is a blank mask-no tears, no joy, no nothing. Just quiet determination and he doesn’t understand, she said…
“Mom?” The word feels thick and wrong in his mouth, but maybe…maybe she’s brainwashed or hypnotized or something, maybe she doesn’t…isn’t…
“Sorry, kid.” The words are harsh but her tone isn’t. Quinn giggles in the background but she sounds so far away and Sheila’s still pressing a gun against him. “It was you or me, and, well…it had to be you.”
What?
“Aww, come to mama, baby!” Quinn giggles again before straightening up and scowling. “Now.”
His feet drag him forward, sneakers scuffing against the white carpet an’ Heaven’s s’posed ta be white, innit, so why does this feel like Hell and what’s going on she said she said-
For once horrible, desperate second, he wants Bruce. Bruce wouldn’t…yeah, he’d thought, at first, that he’d left him but he knows that he didn’t, he really didn’t, he just…
Bruce wouldn’t have pulled a gun on him, he wouldn’t and God, if he’d just fucking talked to him-
“I did what you wanted, Quinn.” Sheila’s voice is so, so flat and is this all she wanted from the beginning? Is it? “Now call your man.”
Quinn doesn’t even look at her. She’s looking at Jason like she always did-like she’s torn between wanting to rip his head off and wanting to wrap him in a blanket and keep him.
This is his own goddamn fault, he just thought…just once, just once-
“Quinn!” Desperation now, and the gun wobbles against his hoodie as she steps out from behind him. “I did what you said! Call your man!”
Okay. Okay.
He forces himself to take a few deep breaths that taste like that last cigarette outside and says, voice as steady as he can make it, “Let her go, Harley. Leave her alone, I’ll. I’ll do what you want, just. Just let her go.”
“Aww, look at you!” Her pigtails sway and he finds himself oddly hypnotized by the movement. “I knew ya had to be Robin for a reason.”
Yeah. Yeah, he was Robin and that’s all he’ll ever be, the one that fucked up.
“Please, Harley.”
“Nyeh…” She adjusts her grip on the gun, finger dancing near the trigger, and looks down at her knuckles. “Eeny, meanie, miny, moe, catch a Batman by the toe. If he hollers, let ‘im go, eeny…meanie…miny…moe!”
He sees it before she does it, but there’s no time-he’s moved maybe half a centimeter before the gun goes off-
-and Sheila.
Falls.
His ears are ringing. They’re ringing and everything’s so white except her, all blonde and blue and so fucking red because Harley didn’t miss and if he’d been quicker, he should have been-
“Aww, don’t be sad!” Harley’s not alone, of course she’s not. He should have known from the start stupidstupidstupid. “Doncha know what happens to people who know too much?”
Her eyes are open. They’re open and they’re looking at him like this is his fault and it is if he hadn’t…
S’like Joker said, once.
“Good boys know how to lay down and DIE.”
“Mistah J had a spot for ya, baby.” Huh? “But you up an’ left us before it was time! So since it’s his birthday-” The fucker has no birthday he just appeared one day too evil for Hell. “-I thought I’d get my puddin’ somethin’-” She winks. “Real nice.”
And they’re on him.
Harley’s goons are dumb, but they’re also big and they manage to drag him down for a minute before he gets a knife out of his sleeve and drives it into the nearest jaw.
“Andre!” Yeah, Andre ain’t comin’ back from that any time soon. “I thought we taught you manners!”
He reclaims his knife and scrambles back up and okay okay maybe he can get outta this-
WHAM!
Lights out.
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nesnecoser1987-blog · 6 years
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We want them to succeed so badly, to reach their potential. And GRRM puts us right there with them in their struggles and learning process. We can see what they want to do, what they need to do, but they got legitimate obstacles and difficulties they need to overcome, and therein lies the character growth.. I not really close with a lot of my family, but sometimes I will message back on forth on Facebook with my ultra religious aunt, usually every six months or so if something big happens in the family. Everything she say has a religious undertone to it. For example, I recently got engaged. Agreed!!! My DH and I got married in May and the baby rabies is real. Im soon to be 29 and he is soon to be 28, both feel strongly that we wanted to wait to be stable money wise before we had kids and my MIL is driving me nuts. Trips we want to take, big purchases we want 의성출장샵 to make, personal goals to meet, just anything we want. Disney did attempt to make his version The Version, which erases other cultures (ex. Cinderella) and representation from these stories that really are universal. But these stories only live as long as there is someone to tell them, and Disney made/is making sure that at least one version of these stories survives.. I done both (solo and with friends) to India and SL. All around SL was heaps more fun and a better experience than India, much much cleaner, more sanitary and picturesque. Colombo (the capital city) is insanely crowded and stifling, but once you leave the city, the country opens up like a story book. Review: I love this minty, cooling, and light. I don know what causes the cooling feeling but I love this cream. I use it in the AM and it doesn cause pilling with my physical sunscreensReview: light and gel like I layer this under a creamier moisturizerReview: holy crap do not get this into your eyes. So I went ahead and snooped around a bit and found the corresponding video to this pic, and tbh she looks the same proportion wise in the video as well. I think it really just the different expression and the ironing of almost all of her facial features that makes it look so off. It definitely doesn look photoshopped to me. What happened here is I switched off all procedural dust and stars, meaning that only the stars in the catalog would be rendered. The "dust" you see is just a region where there are no stars. Here a view directly from that region to depict what I mean.. I have a little over a year left of service, 의성출장샵 and I'm just milking the military for everything I can. I'm proud to serve, but I'm not really proud of the direction our country is going right now and I don't support it. So many Trump lovers in the military, they are mostly terrible at their jobs and I can't trust them for shit. I mean this guy is definitely being really arrogant but different people have different levels of intelligence, and it's reasonable to relate to someone more who is a similar intelligence as yourself. I'm no genius (or rocket scientist lol) but I've had the experience both ways, of talking to people where I felt like I had to kind of dumb things down, and the opposite where I've felt like the person I was talking to was on a level above me brain wise. I was still able to relate to both types of people, but it's easier to talk to someone who isn't at either extreme for me, which applies to everyone I've been close with.
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zackmartin · 3 years
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so anyway i haven’t been here in forever hi hello how are you i love you so much also it’s like 2 am and i have a 9 am class tomorrow and i’ve been binging saved by the bell for the last several hours and i have so many Thoughts i’ve got like two episodes left but im screaming crying shitting myself the maisy of it all like everything about this season is god tier but the MAISY OF IT ALL THE WAY MAC LOVES HER THE SHE SEES PAST THE EXPECTATIONS OF ME THE WAY HE JUST WANTS TO BE AROUND HER ALL THE TIME THE WHOLE THING WITH GIL GOODBYE! I’M PASSED AWAY!!! I’M DEAD LIFELESS FOUND IN A DITCH THIS IS ALL I EVER WANTED !!!!!!!! WE’VE BEEN FE D !!!!!!! also i love you so much x2 bye
OKAY OKAY OKAY, keep in mind I'm still only like, 40% coherent so bear with me, but I can't wait any longer, this season made me INSANE and I need to just ramble but okay (also, I still have to watch the last two episodes but I'm pretty certain I've seen most of what happens so I'm not worried about spoilers)
FIRST JUST, MAISY!!! M A I S Y!!! THEY MAKE ME INSANE, DUE TO PERSONAL REASONS I WILL BE PASSING AWAY, WHAT THE HELL, WHAT THE HELL?!?!!?!?!?!?!? LIKE WHAT WERE THEY TRYING TO DO TO ME?!?!?! THE FACT THAT MAC ACTUALLY LEGITIMATELY REMEMBERED HER BIRTHDAY EVEN THOUGH HE TRIED TO PLAY IT OFF AND PRETEND LIKE HE WAS LYING, HIS WHOLE "CONFESSION" ABOUT HOW SHE SEES HIS POTENTIAL TO BE A GOOD PERSON, "only for you", THE LOOKS WHEN THEY'RE DANCING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "I ONLY DATE GUYS THAT WIN THE SPIRIT COMPETITION", HELLO?!?!!?!??!!??!!??!!?!?!?!?!? THEY'RE LITERALLY ALL I THINK ABOUT, I'M LITERALLY INSANE, I'M GOING FERAL
But, this season fed me so well in so many different ways, my mind is moving too fast that idk what to talk about next!!!! Like, I know I've said this before, but I'm obsessed with how wonderfully done this show is, by poking fun of the cheesiness in the original while also making it feel like it's a love letter to it, on top of keeping the "heart" of the original by touching on serious subjects but doing so in a way that feels "real" and doesn't feel condescending, or even worse, by botching it to where it's bad/harmful. Like, name a current show that's doing it like Saved by the Bell. I'll wait.
AND ALL THE RELATIONSHIPS ON THIS SHOW ARE SO GOD TIER!! like, ofc you know how I feel about maisy, but the others are so wonderful too. I loved seeing the little core group hanging out at the Max together, it was such a small but fun thing, especially in comparison to how things were in season 1. Like, first off, Lexi and Aisha. Even though they did get kinda catty towards each other, it didn't really bother me like it normally would because it felt legit? Like, sometimes you are going to fight with your girlfriends, it's just a fact of life, and Lexi did hurt Aisha, even if she didn't really intend to, but I love love LOVE that they eventually realized they needed to talk it out, and they were able to do so in a mature way and they really listened to each other without judgment!! And then they were able to move on and strengthen their friendship to where Aisha was literally able to confide in Lexi over her crush on Chloe!!!! And the way Devante and Jamie tried to support Lexi when another school was being transphobic while also gently helping her realize that like, yeah they're there for her, but they don't share the same experience so it would be beneficial for her to find people that know firsthand what she's feeling and just. God I am so obsessed with this show.
and while I'm on the subject, Devante!!!! My son!!! The way I would step in front of a bus for him, take a bullet for him, lay down my life for him!!! He was so open and happy this season!!!! 🥺🥺🥺 Like, especially in comparison to season one when he was really reserved and stayed mostly to himself, like i loved watching him just actively participate in his friend group. And the way he knows his worth!! Like, turning down the music thing after everyone always told him his only options were basketball or music, eye- I'm so proud of my boy, I love him so much!!!!!!!! and him and Nadia are so cute!! And I loved how they touched on important issues in their relationship and worked through them, like name!! a better!!! show!!!!!
God, okay. Like, this isn't even half of my overall thoughts, but I'm getting kinda tired so I'll have to continue this later but just. I'm so obsessed with this show, and I know I already told you, but i was so so so excited to wake up and see your asks cause I kept thinking you would love it and I love screaming with you over it and I love you immensely 💕💕💕
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kingofattolia · 7 years
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a list of things about Star Wars: The Last Jedi
TLJ felt like watching two completely separate movies. .. .  one i deliriously LOVED and one i spit upon and shake its profane dust off my sandals
THE GOOD
“ive got an urgent message for General Hux” “YOUR REBELLION IS DOOMED” “yeah... im holding for General Hux”
it straight up took me a minute and a half of this scene to figure out this was actually the start of the movie. it felt like one of those pre-movie skits where it seems like a movie but then anthropomorphic M&Ms tell you to turn your cell phone off. was it just me or were there a LOT more comic moments in TLJ compared to almost every other star wars movie? anyway i loved it even tho it gave the movie a slight someone-made-this-while-high-on-LSD feel 
Leia USING THE FORCE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
R2 playing Luke the “you’re my only hope” recording of Leia, i almost died
FORCE SHENANIGANS. we saw more powerful, dramatic, and varied uses of the Force in TLJ than we have ever before seen in a live action media and i was L I V I N G
“you’ve closed yourself off from the Force”
Rey and Kylo’s foRCE BOND TALKING like this.. . . is so interesting .. .  and it wasn’t only Snoke doing it because they did it again after he’s dead...
Rey lifting 30 giant fricken boulders without even breaking a sweat after having one (1) single “training” session
Kylo remotely activating Anakins lightsaber
projecting himself........ across the entire galaxy. . ..
Yoda. in the former EU the Force ghosts had a non-negotiable expiration date a certain time after their deaths. Obi-Wan couldnt just come back and visit Luke forever, he faded away at some point. is this no longer true??? DOES THIS MEAN ANYONE CAN COME BACK IF THEY WANT??? why was yoda so physical even as a ghost that he could whack luke on the head
summoning lightning like alright this is a new Jedi power im adding to my arsenal
Leia’s mary poppins action
Luke vaulting across the cliff to stab fish
POE'S CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT he turned from a kamikaze into a leader who's able to see the big picture and walk away, im so proud
everyone..... messing with Hux...... i loved this
Snoke smacking him into the floor
Kylo smacking him into the wall
Kylo force choking him
slowly taking gun out. . . . . HES AWAKE ABORT ABORT... slowly putting gun back . . . Hux is going spend every waking moment wishing he took that shot
Finn's character arc, like what an awesome Slytherin. the contrast between him and the codebreaker 👌👌👌👌 & where he makes the choice REBEL scum 👌👌👌
LET'S GO, CHROME DOME
i cant believe Phasma died again lol. her backstory novel was SO DRAMATIC and she just dies over and over
when Kylo does that little skid out into the hallway to look for Rey
Chewy breaking down Luke's door
when Luke kisses Leia on the forehead . . . .
kylo KILLING SNOKE I AM LITERALLY SO HAPPY. I AM SO HAPPY. IM SO
this had to happen, it was so obvious but i didnt think they would actually do it, Snoke was so boring and useless, i am SO GLAD they didnt drag him out..... I AM SO HAPPY HES DEAD
it was truly awesome... i couldnt stop grinning it seeing it the 2nd time... "I CANNOT BE BETRAYED, I CANNOT BE BEATEN, I CAN SEE HIS MIND" & then he narrates the entire process of Kylo killing him i was LIVING. everyone theorized for so loooooong and so hard about what form Snoke's control over Kylo took and how it would be possible for him to break it,, , , and then he just DOES IT JUST LIKE THAT by SHEER MISDIRECTION FOLKS I AM SO ALIVE
THE TEAM UP FIGHT
i love lightsaber fights so much i would very nearly give up my critical integrity for a single awesome duel and this was,,, so awesome
when Rey drops her lightsaber to catch it again and cut that guys knees out from under him
when Snoke is cut in half and then the lightsaber rockets towards Kylo and Rey's hand SHOOTS INTO THE FRAME to catch it 👌👌👌
when Kylo takes on FOUR OF THEM AT ONCE
"THE SUPREME LEADER IS DEAD" "long live. . . the supreme leader .. "
not gonna lie, i am such a huge fan of supreme leader!Kylo. CAN HE EVEN LEAD ANYONE??? DOES HE HAVE THE CAPABILITY?? HONESTLY WHAT DOES HE WANT TO DO? WHAT WILL HIS SELF-DIRECTED MISSION BE? VADER NEVER GOT TO BE ANYTHING BUT AN ATTACK DOG, WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING TO HAPPEN
I HONESTLY HAVE NO IDEA BUT IM SO HYPE TO FIND OUT
THIS IS BRAND NEW
"finn! rose! you're not dead! where's my droid"
the little slave kids from Canto Bight. did the kid at the end use the Force to pull his broom!??!
"that library did not contain anything the girl Rey does not already possess" Yoda thinks hes so funny. REY STOLE THE LIBRARY LMAO... thanks Rey... im glad someone around here has a brain...
the Falcon swooping in to draw off the TIEs on Crait
"OH, THEY HATE THAT SHIP"
Vice Admiral Holdo's lightspeed kamikaze. . . aside from the drama of the moment & making Hux look stupid, just visually it was awesome
absolutely every single thing said by either Hux or Kylo in Kylo's command shuttle above Crait
"i want every gun we have to fire on that man"
"blow that PIECE OF JUNK oUT OF THE SKY"
when kylo's like "concentrate all fire on the speeders" and then Hux immediately shrieks "CONCENTRATE ALL FIRE ON THE SPEEDERS" and Kylo looks at him like 🤔
"do you think you got him?"
when Luke faces Kylo
WHEN LUKE FACES KYLO
this scene makes the movie for me honestly. as of now im in a state of uneasy ceasefire with TLJ and the sequel trilogy as a whole. if the scene of Luke facing Kylo did not exist, TLJ would probably be dead to me
"did you come to SAVE MY SOUL" "no."
absolutely everything about Luke was so completely epic in this scene. even though he barely said anything, even the way he stood was epic. im not sure how Hamill did this but it was everything i ever wanted
"i failed you, Ben. I'm sorry." "i'm sURE YOU ARE"
the contrast between Kylo's fighting stance and Luke's
when Luke steps out from the massive cloud and duSTS OFF HIS SHOULDER
this fills me with so much pure glee i could literally ascend
"if you strike me down in anger, i'll always be with you. like your father."
the slow, dawning horror when Kylo starts realizing Luke's not actually there
"see you around, kid"
"SEE YOU AROUND, KID"
"SEE YOU AROUND, KID"
my favorite line in the WHOLE THING i could Scream
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AHHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHH
"SEE YOU AROUND, KID"
when Rey slams the door in Kylo's face
THE BAD
Luke should have LIFTED HIS X WING OUT OF THE WATER WITH THE FORCE AT SOME POINT GOSH DARN. i knew from the moment we saw the submerged x wing that this moment was meant to happen.... but then it DIDN’T. like PLEASE. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO GOOD I NEED TO SEE THIS
the casino subplot. . .  it was awesome for Finns character development but couldn’t he have developed character over an actually materially relevant story arc.. . .
BB-8 didn’t fight Dark BB-8 like what the hell honestly
for what earthly reason does Kylo need to wear his pants up to his armpits. is he TRYING to look like a doofus
why wasn't Lando the master codebreaker. like quite frankly, give me one good reason. why. no. there are no good reasons. when is Lando going to come into it you cowards
honestly....... what the FRICK was that horrible backstory behind what caused Kylo to turn
WHAT THE FRICK
im trying to keep my cool but this is a huge, enormous, and vital problem i have with this movie and whoever came up with that should be shot
Luke, in a brief moment of insanity, ignited his lightsaber over his sleeping nephew's bed to assassinate him because of a vision
LUKE SKYWALKER the guy who wouldnt believe that DARTH VADER, ENSLAVER OF WORLDS, SLAUGHTERER OF CHILDREN, MASS MURDERER OF THOUSANDS, was a lost cause and who refused to kill him, TRIED TO KILL HIS APPRENTICE IN HIS SLEEP
like... do you see my problem?
character assassination. it is ludicrously greater-than-Anakin Skywalker levels of overreaction to a Force premonition that Luke would see a vision of darkness and instantly move to slice his sleeping, defenseless nephew in half, and even in Luke's version of the story Luke is legitimatly the bad guy. he brought about the future he was afraid of, just like Anakin
because of this background, every interpretation is blown wide open to reasonably see Kylo as the victim and Luke's actions as those of a villain. of course he had to defend himself? it's legitimately possible to construe the subsequent killing of the other students as self-defense as well. if they wake up to find Ben having "killed" Luke? anything could have happened, Kylo could honestly have done barely anything bad up to this point and have been driven to the dark side on that one night
it's going to take.... so much work.... to walk this back. obviously Kylo's a villain now, because of what he's chosen to do since then, but for Luke to come out of this not looking like trash, they would have to provide SO MUCH more backstory including the "dark" things Kylo had done to make Luke suspect him, and have him probably be actively seeking darkness while under Luke's tutelage. and then Luke still seems like a fool and a betrayor
maybe they WANT Luke to come off as a legitimately bad person? i've seen some interpretations of TLJ as tearing down "legends" by showing everyone as flawed people, teaching the lesson of not deifying people to Rey AND the audience as well. if thats true and they actually want me to believe Luke is not worth believing in, i'm sorry but i reject that
luke skywalker is not a bad person
rey said "you didnt fail Kylo, Kylo failed you" WHICH... its true that Kylo failed in all his actions after this. but if this is the unmitigated truth about what happened that day, Luke definitely failed Kylo, thats not really arguable
i spit this backstory out of my mouth and stomp on it
bye felicia
"the legacy of the jedi is failure and hypocrisy. at the height of their power they allowed darth sidious to come to power and wipe them out" ok true. "it was a jedi master who was responsible for the training and creation of darth vader" YOU TAKE THAT BACK
a related point..... Luke is a coward.
i'm not saying that the only kind of Luke i would accept is HEROIC LEGEND LUKE WHO BURSTS FORTH FROM HIS ISOLATION AND SINGLE HANDEDLY DEVASTATES THE FIRST ORDER. but at the same time, his isolation is NOT in any way comparable to Obi-Wan's. "i came here to die" ok buddy.
dying is all well and good, hiding from your failures, being broken for a while after taking a hit like that
what i am NOT able to forgive is how he abandoned Leia
???? the frick???
"so many losses, i can't take any more" "sure you can" STORY OF LEIA'S LIFE
"im from the resistance, your sister Leia sent me" boy when she says jump you better say "how high?" honestly YOU OWE IT AT LEAST TO YOUR GUILT TO DO THAT FOR HER
HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE? SHE'S ON HER OWN DEALING WITH EVERY PROBLEM IN THE WHOLE GALAXY AND HE'S DOING WHAT? YOU'RE TELLING ME LUKE WOULD HAVE ABANDONED HIS SISTER LIKE THAT??? AND WHEN SHE SPECIFICALLY ASKS FOR HIM HE SAYS "no frick u" ?!?!?
if that's Luke Skywalker then Luke Skywalker is a useless coward
that is not Luke Skywalker
honestly everything Rey said was spot on "Leia sent me here with hope. if she's wrong then she deserves to know why. we all do"
the overall thesis of the sequel trilogy seems to be "there's no point to any of this"
a powerful student turns to the dark side and destroys the Jedi Order. an authoritarian regime destroys the republic and takes over. a small band of resistance fighters rallies against great odds. a Force sensitive from a desert planet teaches herself the Force from old Jedi books after her teacher evaporates into the Force after teaching like 1 lesson. everyone Leia loves dies
guys... i'm tired
it's just exhausting. what is the point? in the sequel trilogy we've seen the republic destroyed, the resistance decimated and harried from place to place until theyre down to 12 people on the millennium falcom. there's only one movie left. they're going to come back from nothing and destroy the first order and then smile at each other in the ashes?
why?>??? what are they going to do? build a republic again? is rey going to build a new jedi order? we've seen how that worked out
there's nothing to believe in here. HOPE is such a strong theme in the sequel trilogy. "as long as there's light we've got a chance" "leia sent me here with hope" "the galaxy has lost its hope, the spark is out." "hope is like the sun, if you only believe in it when you can see it you'll never make it through the night." like good grief. constantly hammering on the need to have hope, but WHY?
what's the point of defeating the imperials, spending your life trying to build something good in the galaxy, trying to build a family, when you're only going to have to do it all again in your old age, when everyone you love is dead?
i cant see any hope if this is the ending for the OT characters, so i powerfully struggle to care about and cheer for Rey, Poe, and Finn. what's the point in anything they're doing? what's the point in the sacrifices they're making? it might turn out just exactly like it did for Luke, Leia, and Han, spending their old age in loneliness, sorrow, and violence
if this is the way history repeats itself, you probably should just make out like the stuttering codebreaker. "dont join"
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dayofeclipse · 4 years
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2/10/2020
im starting to feel really depressed every night. i can't sleep. i have too much worries, too much insecurities, too much "what ifs". i am finding it hard to live. am i too heavily reliant on people in my life to give me validation to continue living?
my mind is in a mess that i don't have the heart to study anymore. i guess it's the expectations that drives u insane.
when u did something for me, asked me to come over to your house to "study", then cooked for me, i was very happy. to be honest.
then slowly you didnt ask me to go over to ur place to study anymore. yeah ik it's kinda lame that i was hoping you'd ask, but you don't. then that got me overthinking.
& then you used to call me in the morning to wake me up. today i legitimately overslept. you didn't wake me up. not that you were obligated to do so, but stings when u said "thought u dont bother coming to class anymore, so i didn't bother calling u"
then u started calling me "bro" "brother", & im not sure whether u did it in the heat of the moment while we were playing, but still. it stings
stings alot yeah, the expectations mostly came from me i guess. and im angry at nobody else but myself. for having high hopes. & then gets disappointed and cry. i fucking hate myself for that. i say that im a pessimistic person, but deep down, i actually am a fucking optimist. i keep on hoping, and hoping, i take signs that are not that and keep on praying that it is a sign. i am so dumb.
let me admit something. yeah i really like you because you were super friendly to me. thought of u as a friend when i first know you. then i saw that u pinned my chat on your whatsapp. then i saw th text from A asking you "Are you guys dating already" but I didnt see ur reply. then i realise we were only going out 1 to 1, not sure if you do that to your other girl friends. then i started hoping.
am i too fucking lonely that i have became such a mess? making myself feel so down just because somebody didnt reply to me, somebody didnt call me, somebody didnt ask me over. it got into my head you know. and suddenly thats all i could think about.
these past few days i haven't been in a good mood. i was mentally volatile. i was struggling. i know it sounds dramatic, but i'm really just so sad.
i feel like i have lost myself.
is this why the universe has kept me so single? because if i found someone i'm interested in, im slowly destroying myself?
11.11 please. i just need an answer. answer me, whether i should keep on hoping.
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