#this is my thesis do you concur

[ironmanstan]

Could robert pattinson play pat bateman though. Discuss

[lovelyhan]

— meet cute of the century ⟢

the last thing you expected when you volunteered at your city’s local animal shelter is to meet the hottest cat person in the world. now if only he’d just adopt one of them so you’d stop ogling him every time he drops by.

★ FEATURING; wonwoo x reader

★ WORD COUNT; 25.4k words

★ TAGS; meet cute, strangers to lovers, pining, discourse abt being an idol as a career, mild angst, smut

★ NOTES; it's finally done!! and it turned out to be the longest oneshot i've written ever T T i reaaally didn't mean it to become this long but i got overly self-indulgent so here we are :3c also psa that this story features a handful of other characters from the series, so if you find them familiar that's totally on purpose HEH

this is part of the doting on you! series.

★ SMUT TAGS; unprotected sex, service top wonwoo, praise kink, voice kink, first time together, fingering, creampie, ofc they're grossly in love

★ TAGLIST; @cheolhub - @pretty-trustme - @just-here-to-read-01 - @idkmelkro - @dejavernon - @venusrae - @jeonghancvunt - @jyiiscool - @jiniesclub - @junhui-recs - @bldelaine - @fruitzcup - @hoeforhao - @candidupped - @emmmui - @billboard-singer - @caratochan - @novalpha - @dahliatopia - @0717luv - @shiveringgaze - @toruro - @mixling-blog - @coffeestay - @jkbabiey

★ SERIES TAGLIST; @ti--red - @jeonwonhi - @gyusbabydoll - @xiaoting999 - @marksluvr0 - @ohmyhuenings - @downbadreading

P.S. i reserve the right to refuse to add you to my taglist if you don't have any age indicators in your profile :^)

There are a handful of things that a college student can do with their free time. Studying, hanging out with friends, and maybe even picking up a hobby of sorts. You, on the other hand, use up all the hours you’re not spending on your undergrad thesis or sleeping the day away at an animal shelter just a few minutes away from your apartment. 

Your friends constantly wonder how you’re still able to maintain a remarkable GPA with a part-time job that’s starting to look full-time, but you just laugh their questions off for the most part—saying that other people have got it worse than you, but can still perform leagues better academically. 

You also tell them that most of your motivation comes from all the unadopted animals from the shelter. You started as a volunteer just to kill time on weekends when you’re free, but even if you knew better than to get attached to all those adorable faces, you eventually found yourself on the employee roster anyways. 

Now you’re rushing to finish your degree so you can get a neat sugar mommy job that’ll let you afford to adopt everyone that’s been stuck in the shelter for nearly a year or more.

Okay, maybe not everyone because you’re no fool with a savior complex. But just enough to give a few furry friends a new home, right?

“Don’t look now,” your coworker, Mina whispers conspiratorially while you’re in the middle of snacking in the break room, “but that cutie you’ve been crushing on just walked inside. He’s checking out the cats out in the playroom as usual.”

Right. Apart from your altruistic dream of adopting as many animals as your financial capabilities can allow, there’s another reason you’re always looking forward to your shifts at the shelter. A reason that you’re a bit too embarrassed to let your friends know about.

You nearly choke on a potato chip when Mina informs you of the news and she immediately breaks into a fit of laughter. Glaring at her, you compose yourself with a long gulp of water before saying, “I do not have a crush on him.”

“Sure,” she plays along. “If you consider making googly eyes at the guy every time he drops by as ‘not having a crush on him’, then I’ll concur.” 

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t, sweetheart. Now get out there and sweet talk him into taking one of the kittens home! Pretty sure he wants one if he’s been showing up as much as he did for the last two months.” 

While you would’ve argued that the so-called cutie you’ve been crushing on could just like seeing the cats play around in his free time, you don’t really have much energy to play mental gymnastics with Mina. You’ve had a long day of revisions and other nonsense materials you have to submit for your majors, so you’ll let this one slide.

Your workplace is as bleak as every other shelter you’ve seen a few times in your life. Gray walls, concrete floors, and steel cages stacked on top of each other. It looks more like a prison than anything, really, but it’s the staff and those kind-hearted souls who rehome animals that have long been abandoned that give the entire place some life.

While Mister Cutie That You’ve Been Quote-Unquote Crushing On doesn’t exactly fall into either of those categories, you like to think he still leaves the building just a touch more colorful once he walks out of the front door. 

Speaking of color, he’s wearing a loose, dark green shirt that falls just below his elbows. Cutie—as you’ve deigned to call him not because you think he’s cute but because you’re yet to get his name—has one palm flattened across the viewing glass of the playroom. He’s wearing his usual black face mask today, but from the way his eyes glint behind his glasses, you’re just going to assume he’s having a good time just by watching the cats frolic inside.

“You’re here pretty late,” you state nonchalantly before standing a few feet away from him. 

“Is that so strange?” he murmurs with a chuckle, surprisingly not startled with your sudden entrance before glancing your way. “I always show up here at this hour, don’t I?”

God. No matter how many times you hear his voice, you just can’t get over how deep it is. But before any of your thoughts could show on your face, you get talking.

“True. You’ve sparked a debate among the volunteers about your line of work, actually.” Not exactly. You’re not sure if any of the volunteers have even seen this guy, since they mostly work day shifts. “Anyway, are you just here to check ‘em out or am I finally going to hand you the adoption papers?”

His eyes crinkle a bit before he shifts his gaze towards the playroom again. Most of the older cats have already been put back in their respective cages. All that’s left inside are the kittens with way too much energy to spare. The director, A.K.A., your boss, believes that it’s best to tire them out first before settling them into individual enclosures for the night. Keeps the place nice and quiet for the evening shift fellows like yourself.

“Not yet, sadly,” Cutie says with a sigh before pointing at a small black kitten huddled up in a corner. “That one’s new, isn’t it? I don’t think I’ve seen him around before.” 

“Her,” you correct. “Her name’s Hani. She’s a stray that someone from the university I’m attending brought in last week. It was pretty ugly, actually. Poor thing got into an accident and was bleeding everywhere. Good thing our usual vet was paying a visit when they came here.”

“Oh? That’s a relief then. No wonder she’s got a little limp every time she walks around,” he observes with a saddened tone. “But I digress. You mentioned you were attending university?”

…Okay, why’d the topic of interest suddenly shift to you? 

But since it’s a harmless enough question, you reply with, “Yeah. The one that’s just a few blocks away. It’s kinda why the person who found Hani brought her here instead of a vet clinic. The nearest one’s like half an hour away.”

“Good call, good call.” He nods with a look of understanding. “I hope someone comes and adopts her. She deserves all the love she can get. Well, everyone here does of course.” 

You flash him a conniving smile, raising your brows a few times. “You could give that to her.”

Cutie shakes his head with another low-pitched laugh. “As much as I’d love to, my…living conditions won’t be suitable for her at all. Or any of the other animals for the matter.”

“Hm?” You stare at him curiously. “Your landlord doesn’t allow pets or something?”

“Mmm… Not exactly.”

The conversation pretty much ends there. Cutie excuses himself—saying that someone is waiting for him at home. You don’t know why your heart deflates a little at the very real possibility that he has a significant other. Then again, if you’re this whipped when you haven’t even seen his face, you could only imagine how easy it would be for him to settle down with someone who has.

Either way, it’s none of your business. And correction: you’re not whipped. Just…hyper aware of his presence every time he stops by.

Despite the fact that you’re dead-set on filing this strange fascination you have for the guy, however…

“Wait!”

Cutie turns around to face you with an inquisitive look. “Yes?”

You swallow thickly, deciding to just bite the bullet before your nerves get the best of you. “What’s your name? I can’t keep calling you Cu—I mean, Glasses Guy in my head whenever you pay us a visit.”

He blinks for a few seconds, obviously nonplussed by your forwardness but you don’t think your pride can take it anymore if you had to refer to him as—

“You can call me Woo,” he says warmly and you can almost see the smile that stretches behind that black face mask.

Shit. Did your heart just stutter?

“Mister Woo—”

“Just Woo is fine.”

“Okay, Woo,” you start, kind of liking the way that something that’s obviously a nickname rolls off the tongue, “just let me know if you ever want to take Hani home. We’re open twenty four-seven, as you already know.”

He nods. “Sure thing. Is it okay if I can get your number for that?”

Now you have to fight the urge to scowl at him after he’s been so nice to you all night—and every other night he’s dropped by. 

This guy isn’t flirting with you. He said it himself—someone’s waiting for him at home. Plus, he’s expressed consistent interest in adopting a kitten for himself a handful of times before. Maybe he just connected with Hani on a level that’s above the others. Enough to ask for your number since the possibility of him bringing one of these angels home is becoming more and more real. 

Yeah, that’s definitely the reason!

So you give it to him—hastily scrawled behind an old flier gathering dust in one of the drawers on the front desk. It’s way too big to write just yours and the shelter’s contact details on, but the other calling cards are nowhere in sight. You’ll have to ask Mina if she’s seen them once—

“Thanks. I’ll keep in touch,” Woo tells you while folding the sheet of paper into a sleek black Louis Vuitton wallet.

Wait a minute.

Before you can even seriously ponder about what job he’s got to be able to afford that, Woo is already out of the door—heading into the evening streets without once looking back. 

“Gosh, I swear that guy’s an idol in disguise or something.”

That’s the first thing that Mina tells you when you find her doing a few rounds among the sleeping dogs in the far back. You haven’t even spoken a single word about your most recent exchange. 

“What makes you think that?” 

“He just exudes idol vibes, y’know? Shows up here when the place is deserted. Always acts subtle and inconspicuous. Oh and not to mention how hot he looks even with a face mask on! He could be that one idol your little sister is crazy about.” 

You roll your eyes at her odd ways of deduction. “Mina, I’ve seen enough of Haewon’s Mingyu merch to last a lifetime and Woo definitely does not look like him.”

“Oh?” Your coworker perks up with a mischievous smile. “You finally got his name, huh?”

God. This is going to be a long shift.

The next time you see Woo is, surprisingly, not at an ungodly hour in the shelter. 

Well, it’s still at an ungodly hour, but the change in venue is a little baffling. You were up all night studying (read: cramming) for a major exam that you’ll take at eight in the morning the next day. When you were finally at your wit’s end, you decidedly hauled yourself away from your laptop and fluttered off to the only twenty four-hour coffee shop in the neighborhood. 

You don’t usually frequent this place because you’ve tasted their shitty americanos firsthand, but you’re not in the mood to grind some beans yourself and you’re much too stubborn to drink anything instant—convinced the powdered concoction would only make you sleepier.

So here you are, in line for an espresso because you’ve decided to give them the benefit of the doubt that maybe not everything on the menu tastes less than it’s worth. With how many other students are pulling all-nighters here, that should be testament enough that they tolerate the place’s drinks enough to linger. 

But, to your horror, when you’re right in front of the graveyard shift barista, he informs you that wireless payments have been temporarily disabled and that they’re only accepting cash up front. You make a show of patting down the pockets of your hoodie to check for your wallet even if you know damn well that you left it back at your apartment on purpose. Just when you’re about to resign yourself to buying shitty instant coffee at a Seven Eleven instead, the person behind you in line clears his throat. 

“Uh, I can pay for her drink.” 

You don’t think you’ve ever whipped your head around to check for a person’s identity faster than you did at that moment. It’s not that you’re particularly obsessed with the low timber of his voice or anything, but you’d recognize the way the shelter’s late night regular speaks in a goddamn heartbeat.

“Woo?” you scowl as he maneuvers himself to the front of the line, bringing out that same Louis Vuitton wallet you were ogling the last time you saw him. 

He pulls out a few banknotes and places them on top of the counter with what you think is a smile behind his mask. “Couple that with four iced americanos please.”

You purposely hold your tongue about your personal vendetta against that particular drink as the barista nods, punching in Woo’s order and asking for a name. Just when you thought he’d say the same one he’d given when you’d asked, however—

“Soonyoung. Oh, and I’ll get those drinks to go, please.” 

Your gaze is on him the entire time as the two of you shuffle to the end of the counter to wait for your drinks. Woo is doing a pretty okay job at playing it cool despite the fact that he lied about the names on his orders. Or maybe he lied when he told you his name was Woo. 

Either way, does it matter? It’s not strange for people to make up fake names for baristas to write on their coffees—Mina does it all the time. But something about the idea that the man standing in front of you doesn’t look like a Soonyoung bothers you more than it should. It makes you wonder what his actual name is and if it’s weird to ask when he already gave you one to address him with—

“Didn’t think I’d see you here,” he suddenly says and you nearly have a heart attack.

“Uh,” you start somewhat dumbly, before finally getting a hold of your brain. “I live around the area. Thought I could use a drink if I didn’t want to sleep through my lecture notes.”

He lets out a low chuckle and at that moment, you let yourself observe him a little more closely. His hair is hidden behind a black beanie which he expertly paired with an equally black parka that’s zipped up all the way. He’s wearing a different pair of glasses today—one with thick, black frames—and you’re starting to get an idea of what his favorite color might be.

“Is that why I haven’t seen you at the shelter these days?” he wonders. “Every time I dropped by last week, you weren’t on shift.”

Oh. Shit, he’s been visiting still? And he was looking for you?

“Yup, I needed to take a few days off because if I wanna graduate, I’ve got to keep myself from failing any of my majors,” you explain as briefly as you can—not wanting to go into detail about GPA requirements and your thesis. “How about you? Why’re you out and about at this hour, Soonyoung?”

It’s kind of adorable, how the tips of his ears flush pink at your words. “Soonyoung’s one of my friends. I actually went out tonight because I lost a bet and had to buy four of us coffee.”

You’re not sure how and why you feel a wave of relief wash over you, so instead, you brush the feeling aside before leaning against the counter. “Lost a bet about what, pray tell?”

Woo is quiet for a while, as if contemplating if he should unveil his losses to someone who’s virtually still a stranger before letting out a defeated sigh.

“Mario Kart.”

The snort you let out draws a few curious stares from other customers sitting near the counter and you force out an apology that’s underscored with a hiccup of laughter. Woo doesn’t seem at all offended by your reaction though. In fact, he seems even amused by it.

Not ten seconds later, the barista calls out his—rather, Soonyoung’s name and he hands you your drink while he carries a takeout package in his other hand. You try not to think too much about the way his fingers brush against yours when he gives it to you, thanking him despite the obvious redness settling across your cheeks.

“I actually meant to text you last week but I didn’t know if you were comfortable with it,” Woo admits as he opens the door to the coffee shop for you—thanking him as you step out of the air conditioned space and into the humid evening air. “I wanted to ask about the adoption requirements at the shelter.”

Part of you is a little skeptical about his explanation because… If he’s been dropping by your workplace as often as he claimed last week, then he could’ve just asked the other staff about the details. Why wait until he meets you again to bring it up? 

But of course, you’re way too polite to ask that to his face.

“I don’t mind you texting me about that or…anything, really,” you say, turning up the flap on the lid of your espresso before taking a small sip. Bearable. “It’s not like I’m too busy to respond to you. Well, I kinda am, but I can spare a few minutes.”

Woo nods with a soft laugh. “Okay. I’ll just get into detail via text later. I gotta bring these coffees back or they’ll chew me out for the rest of the night for being late. Oh, but do you need someone to walk home with you?”

The idea of having your not-work crush escorting you home flusters you more than it should and when you take another sip of your drink, it nearly goes down the wrong hole. Woo pats your back in comforting fashion when you sputter from your coffee, tears stinging your eyes as you attempt to breathe like a normal person. Fuck, you must look so fucking weird right now.

“I-I, um, sorry about that.” You cough into your fist, laughing uneasily as you grip your drink a little too tightly. “No, it’s fine. I only live a few blocks away.”

Now that you mention it, does that mean Woo is the same? If he’s out here in this specific neighborhood at this specific hour, that would only mean he lives in the area, or is at least staying for the meantime, right? But before you could get swept up by your own curiosity, you immediately sweep any and all ideas under the rug.

“Oh, that’s—that’s good to know.”

He sounds disappointed. Why does he sound disappointed?

“So I guess this is goodbye? ” you start. 

Woo nods briskly. “Yup. I’ll keep in touch.”

You chuckle. “That’s what you said last time.”

Whoa. Were you propositioning him or something? Sometimes, it baffles you how one minute, you’re choking on a cup of coffee—several shades embarrassed—and the next, you’re practically daring him to text you like he said he would.

“And I’ll make good on that as soon as time permits.” Woo shakes his head with a laugh. “It was nice seeing you again, though. Good luck with your exams.”

You can’t help the way your cheeks heat up yet again at the thought of him having remembered that you mentioned your exams. “Thanks. I think I need all the luck I can get.”

When Woo turns to look at you through those thick-rimmed glasses, you almost wish you could see the smile that’s undoubtedly spreading behind that pesky mask of his. 

“I’ll be happy to give it to you every time then.”

Today was probably the shittiest day of the week.

Not only did you spectacularly flunk the exam you took this morning whilst running on less than two hours of sleep, but your thesis adviser emailed you about several concerns regarding the latest version of your manuscript. Needless to say, you spent a good chunk of your day holed up in the university library, consulting new reference materials to back up your data since the ones you used were much too outdated for your adviser’s liking. 

It should’ve been something you’d consider a walk in the park, given the many revisions that have preceded this one, but it just so happens that you’ve got three more exams to worry about for the remainder of the week. Meaning, you had to squeeze in a few minutes of studying in between editing your newest draft and telling yourself that maybe it wouldn’t be too bad if you got held back for one semester before graduating. 

You’ve been so caught up with your piling academic responsibilities that you’ve barely looked at your phone. You only deigned to dig it out of the deepest pit of your backpack when you got a little hungry and wondered if they still let food delivery guys past the school gates. To your surprise, you’re greeted with a few text messages that you immediately feel horrible for not replying to the moment they were delivered. 

Unknown Number [10:45]: So about those adoption requirements…

Unknown Number [11:33]: Oh. Sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. It’s Woo.

Ignoring the fact that you’re obviously famished, you hastily type in a response after marking down Woo’s number with a black cat emoji right next to his name. It takes a moment because you’re so shaky, you end up suffering from a few typos here and there.

Me [13:10]: hey! sorry i was a bit busy and i just saw these…

Me [13:10]: what do you wanna know? i’m on a self-imposed lunch break rn

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [13:15]: No worries, I figured you got a long day ahead. Hope lunch is good at least.

Me [13:16]: actually, i haven’t ordered anything yet ‘cause time got away from me but Anyways

Me [13:16]: you wanted details abt the adoption process?

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [13:18]: What? You haven't eaten yet?

Me [13:18]: yeah, but it’s no big deal. i could just have some food delivered.

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [13:19]: Well, I’m out right now. I could just buy some food for you and drop it off. 

Your eyes practically bulge out of their sockets when you read each word of Woo’s text message. Is he being serious right now? The guy just paid for your coffee last night—a coffee that you forgot to pay back because of how surprising the circumstances were. Now he’s offering to buy you lunch?

Me [13:20]: you really don’t have to, i swear!! i’ve still got a few discount vouchers in baenim

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [13:22]: I insist. I’ve got my bike with me anyway.

Me [13:22]: bike? like, a bicycle?

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [13:23]: Mmm. Close. Anyway, what food do you want? 

Now what the hell does that mean?

Part of you feels like you should be freaked out with how…kind he’s being to you. The world is full of weirdos who play the nice guy just to do something despicable to you in the end. Yet another part of you—a less reasonable one, admittedly—insists that Woo is nothing like that, despite the fact that you barely know the guy. 

Then again, you’re tired, stressed out, and barely slept a wink last night. If the hot guy you’ve been quote-unquote crushing on is offering to buy you food, where’s the harm in accepting?

Me [13:25]: fine. i could use some yangnyeom chicken and tteokbokki. 

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [13:26]: Nice. I know a good place. 

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [13:27]: I’ll head out in a few, so just text me the address.

Right after sending your university’s pin location to Woo, you start to consider the chance of him being some sort of serial stalker. Could he be biding his time, trying to let your guard down and easing personal information out of you so he could do something nefarious when he gets you alone? Fuck. Maybe it’s a good idea you didn’t let him walk you home yesterday…

But despite the very real possibility of Woo being someone with bad intentions regardless of how nice he is, you see no problem in meeting him at the school gates when he arrives with your food. In fact, you don’t even feel apprehensive of him in spite of all the ideas you conjured in your head over the past hour.  

Me [14:15]: where are you?

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [14:16]: Parked by the curb in front of a bookstore. You can’t miss me.

 Me [14:16]: i don’t even know what you Look like today, genius

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [14:17]: I told you, I’ve got my bike with me. I don’t see anyone else looking the same way within a twenty meter radius. 

You have to fight the urge to roll your eyes. For someone you deemed as ‘nice’, he can get pretty mouthy if he wants to. 

You head to the general direction of the bookstore that Woo was talking about as you try to ignore your growling stomach. Given that the lunch rush is more or less over, the usual crowd of pedestrians has considerably thinned out and it makes it easier for you to scan the vicinity for any bike-wielding impromptu delivery guys. 

However, the only person that does stand out to you is some dude wearing a black leather jacket, chilling next to an expensive looking motorcycle as he taps away on his phone with a matching pair of leather gloves and everything. His face is obscured by a black helmet and you would’ve let your gaze go past him had it not been for a sudden realization that hits you right there.

Bike? Like, a bicycle?

Mmm. Close.

“Woo!” 

Of course the leather jacket-clad, expensive motorcycle-wielding man looks up at the sound of his name being called from across the street. The visor of his helmet is drawn all the way up and you could see that he isn’t wearing his glasses for good reason. He seems to perk up at the sight of you before grabbing something from the trunk of his motorcycle and jogging to meet you where you stood.

You’ve seen him sporting a spectrum of comfortable outfits during his late night visits, but this is the first time you’ve witnessed Woo looking as dapper as he is now.

“Late lunch delivery?” 

You don’t even try to hide the way you roll your eyes as you accept the paper bag he hands to you. “Thanks. How much do I owe you now? You already got me coffee and now lunch.”

He shakes his head and you find it a little ridiculous, considering he’s still wearing that huge helmet of his. “It’s on me. It’s the least I could do to repay you for being so accommodating.”

“Woo, I haven’t done shit for you ‘cause you’re yet to properly talk to me about the adoption process. What on earth are you talking about?” 

“But you will do shit for me when we do talk about it. I’m just repaying the favor in advance,” he rebuts cheekily before pulling back the sleeve of his jacket to check for the time. “Though as much as I want to do that now, I need to catch a flight in a few hours.”

That makes your expression morph into disbelief. “You need to catch a what?”

“A flight. Gotta head to Japan for a few days,” Woo tells you nonchalantly, as if heading to Japan for a few days is something people do on a regular basis. “Can you make sure no one else takes Hani home before I can settle everything on my end?”

You tell yourself that you’ve got time to mull over what this guy does for a living some other time. Clearing your throat, you manage an awkward smile. “Um, yeah, sure thing. You’re really attached to her, aren’t you?” 

“You can say that again,” he laughs softly. “She kinda reminds me of myself from a long time ago… But anyway, I’ve gotta go. Tell me what you think about the chicken when you’re done with it?”

You nod. “I’ll be as brutally honest with my review as possible.”

“Just the way I like it,” Woo replies, eyes crinkling with amusement.

When you head back to the library, the person you were sharing a table with looked after your stuff for you while you were gone. You thank her profusely before settling back into your seat, grabbing the takeout packages from the paper bag that Woo personally delivered to you. 

Before you can start wolfing down the delectable-smelling chicken he brought, however, you notice a cute sticky note plastered on the lid—a doodle of a cat with glasses and a speech bubble that says you can do it~ scribbled on the corner.

Don’t overwork yourself. It’s been ages since my last exam, but I know how hard it can be. Make sure to eat properly so you can absorb all the info you need.

When your head bangs against one of the many wooden tables in the library, the person seated at the far end stares at you with a concerned look. You can’t muster the energy to assure her that everything’s alright, though because…

That quote-unquote crush of yours? 

It’s starting to become a little too real.

You’re in the middle of throwing out old files from the back room archive when Mina peeks her head into the doorway and says, “You’ve got a visitor again.”

One glance at the old wall clock hung above the steel cabinets tells you that it’s midnight, but you know for one that this mystery visitor isn’t Woo this time around. 

You’ve been keeping in touch with him through Kakao, since you can’t exactly afford to send international text messages to Japan and your new friend(?) has been keeping you posted about his shenanigans for the past week. He hasn’t replied to your last message from over three hours ago and you’re not so delusional to think he got on a plane back to Korea and is suddenly here to surprise you.

When you see who it is, though, your heart warms just a little.

“Why haven’t you been texting me back?” Haewon, your sister who’s two years younger, gets up from the seats lined up across the walls of the lobby. “I missed you!” 

You shake your head before pulling her into a hug. “I missed you, she says. But you’re really just looking for someone to show you around the city again, aren’t you?”

“Hey, missing you and needing a chaperone aren’t mutually exclusive,” she huffs and you notice that she’s in full fangirl gear again—a lightstick hanging off a strap slung across her shoulder, a windbreaker with her favorite boyband’s logo sewn on the front pocket, and of course, a photocard of Mingyu dangling from her little handbag.

Despite the fact that she’s also in college, Haewon chose to stay in your hometown in Jeju to pursue her studies there instead. The first few months since you left were the hardest—so unused to not having your little sister go on and on and on about how much she loves SEVENTEEN. But you’ve also come to appreciate the peace and quiet that living alone in Seoul affords you. 

Besides, with how much money she’s raised for being one of the more well-known event organizers in her fandom, Haewon can pretty much come visit you in Seoul whenever she feels like it. 

“I’m guessing your thirteen boyfriends have a thing going on?” you ask before glancing over at the playroom to make sure there aren’t any kittens left inside. 

Haewon nods enthusiastically. “Yup, they’re having a mini fanmeet outside their company building in a few days—”

“In a few days?” you parrot before gesturing for her to follow you in the break room so you can get changed. “What’re you doing out here all dressed up then?”

Your little sister rolls her eyes. “Unnie, I’m not some weirdo who wears their merch on a regular night for no reason. I came from this little cupsleeve event for Wonwoo’s birthday. Things ran a little late because we had to help clean up at the café.” 

While you’re not well-versed in fandom jargon, you have learned a few terms from Haewon here and there. Plus, she already took you to a cupsleeve event for another member’s birthday once. You’re not really sure who it was because the only one you do consistently remember is Mingyu—your sister’s ultimate bias, apparently. 

“What made you stop by then?” you wonder as you exchanged your work uniform for a loose shirt. “You didn’t tell me you were coming in advance. I could’ve fetched you from the airport.”

“I did tell you in advance.” She pouts. “But you said you were busy working on your manuscript when I did, so it must’ve slipped your mind.”

Oh. Okay, now you feel bad. “Sorry. I’ll make it up to you this weekend with dinner?” 

Haewon whines. “Unnie, their fanmeet is on Saturday and I leave on Sunday.”

“So? How long is that going to be anyway?”

“Uh, all day?”

You sigh. “Fine. How about you crash in my place tonight and we can rewatch Hometown Cha Cha Cha while stuffing our faces with ramen?”

“Deal.”

After timing out for the evening, you say goodbye to Mina, who’s just waiting up for your other coworkers who’ll cover the next shift. Haewon talks your ear off about what happened in the event she attended as you both walked back to your apartment and, while only some of the things she’s saying makes sense to you, it’s nice to be in your little sister’s company again. 

“Oh, by the way, here.”

You stare at her curiously as she rummages through her bag, handing you a photocard enclosed in a dainty-looking toploader. 

“What’s this for?” you ask. 

“You told me back then that Wonwoo was your type,” Haewon explains with a grin. “So I did my best in one of the parlor games and won that extremely in-demand photocard just for you.”

You scan the piece of idol merchandise in your hands for a few minutes more—staring at Wonwoo’s face as if waiting for him to speak. You never really understood the appeal of collecting photocards. As long as it makes Haewon happy, you won’t bat an eyelash.

But now she’s giving you one to keep for yourself and the more you stare at the idol printed on the sturdy paper, the more you think that you’ve seen him somewhere.

Then again, Haewon has been talking about these boys since they debuted years ago. The familiarity must’ve stemmed from those numerous fancams and music show performances that she forced you to sit down and watch with her. 

“You better take care of him, okay?” Haewon pouts. “If I see him suddenly being sold for a high price, I’m never going to let you live it down.”

“I barely know how the market for this works, so you don’t have to worry about that,” you chuckle before carefully sliding the toploader inside your own bag. “So what ramen are we eating? Shin Ramyun or something else?”

Me [21:17]: btw, when are you coming back again? 

Me [21:20]: someone was asking about hani earlier and i feel like you’ve gotta come back here to assert your dominance.

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [02:35]: Shit, sorry. I forgot about the time.

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [02:35]: My friends and I had a birthday celebration at the izakaya near our hotel. It’s been a while since we got to unwind like this.

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [02:36]: Anyway, who’s the funny guy who thought he could have my cat?

Me [02:38]: wow. YOUR cat? 🤨🤨🤨

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [02:40]: You’re still awake?

Me [02:40]: yeah, my little sister is in seoul and we’re binging our favorite drama

Me [02:41]: how about you? why are You still awake?

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [02:45]: Taking care of drunk friends. Remember Soonyoung?

Me [02:45]: what about him?

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [02:47]: Pleading for forgiveness in the toilet while he retches his guts out.

Me [02:47]: huh. some birthday party. who’s the celebrant anyway?

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [02:47]: Me.

“Whoa. You okay?” Haewon asks when you suddenly lurch forward on the couch, choking on the ramen you were in the middle of slurping. 

You thank your sister when she offers you a glass of water and you gulp it down to soothe the burning sensation in your throat. “It’s fine. I just received a surprising text is all.”

“From a boyfriend?” she teases.

You scowl. “No. From a friend. Just a friend.”

“Boo. But you’ll tell me once you land yourself your very own Hong Dusik, right?”

The look on your face only worsens at the reference she’s made to the drama that’s still playing on screen. “I’d actually rather die than have someone like Dusik as a boyfriend. If the whole enemies to lovers thing works with Hyejin, it really won't with me.”

“True, you’ve always been a mellow lover,” Haewon agrees and you roll your eyes. “That’s why Wonwoo would be perfect for you~”

“I think me landing a Hong Dusik-esque boyfriend is more likely than me getting together with a world famous idol but okay.”

You’re momentarily distracted from your conversation when your phone vibrates in your lap again, and— Fuck. 

You forgot to reply to Woo.

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [02:55]: Fell asleep on me already?

Me [02:56]: no, no. sorry. my sister was just talking to me. 

Me [02:56]: anyway, it’s your BIRTHDAY?

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [02:57]: Hahaha, yes. It’s been a while since I could sit down and actually celebrate it with my friends. 

Me [02:58]: is that why you went all the way to japan? for a little birthday getaway?

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [02:58]: Hm… something like that 

Me [03:00]: i’ll give you hani’s adoption papers as a gift

Me [03:01]: that or you let ME treat YOU to something nice for a change

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [03:05]: Well, I’ll be back in Korea this Saturday, but won’t be free until late at night.

Me [03:05]: back to regular programming, huh?

Me [03:06]: we can celebrate later if you’re busy, you know. 

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [03:07]: It’s okay. I wanted to spend time with you anyways.

“You sure that’s just a friend you’re talking to?” Haewon asks with an unimpressed stare as you choke on your instant noodles for the second time. “The only way I’d react like that to a text is if my friend told me one of our professors is fucking his TA despite being married. If that’s the case, you gotta let me in on the juicy details.”

You make a face at her. “Isn’t that way too specific?”

“Isn’t that way too specific?” Haewon mocks. “Whatever you’ve got going on with this friend of yours, promise I’ll be the first to know once you make it official?”

“Haewon!”

For the sake of your own sanity, you only reply to Woo’s message once you’re tucked in bed and Haewon is comfortably dozing on the couch in the living room. She’s a heavy sleeper that passes out quickly after a long day, so you don’t feel particularly worried about your little sister barging into your room when you type out a response.

Me [03:43]: gotcha. just meet me at the shelter after your thing. 

Me [03:45]: happy birthday, woo.

You don’t wait for him to type out a reply anymore—eyes drooping into slumber as you let the screen of your phone fade into sleep mode. 

Unbeknownst to you, a man who just finished putting his intoxicated friends to bed an ocean away stares at your chat history with a fond smile, heart racing just a few beats faster at the prospect of what awaits him at home.

You’re just about done cleaning up the big dog kennels when Woo drops by on a bright Saturday morning. 

The sound of his deep ‘hello’ nearly made you drop all the cleaning utensils you were about to put away. When you turn around to confirm that the shelter’s nighttime regular has indeed switched things up and decided to visit during daylight hours, you’re too busy scowling at him to mind the fact that you’re all gross and sweaty from all the hard labor. 

Sure, you texted him about taking up a day shift today, but you definitely didn’t expect him to visit when he just got back to Korea a few hours ago. 

Surprisingly, Woo isn’t donned in all black this time around. He’s wearing a gray pullover with some muddled text you can’t quite read with the hood pulled all the way up, concealing the white cap resting on top of his head. Of course, his signature face mask is still in between you and his no doubt handsome countenance, but you’ll take what you can get.

“What’re you doing here?” you ask, a bit breathless before you notice that takeout bag he’s setting down on one of the empty tables. “I thought you’re not gonna be free until tonight.”

“Thought you could use another lunch fix,” he says nonchalantly. “Well that and I wanted to personally give you some cool trinkets from Japan.”

The sentiment makes your heart stir a little, but you end up voicing out a dry laugh before stuffing the shelter’s cleaning paraphernalia inside the broom closet. “Keep doing all these nice things and I’ll start thinking you’re in love with me.”

Woo laughs but does absolutely nothing to deny the allegations.

“Here.” Your brows arch a little when he fishes something from the pocket of his hoodie, handing it to you. “I wasn’t sure which one you’d like so I just got all of them.”

You’re a bit reluctant to receive his gift in your current state—dirty hands, dirty clothes, dirty everything—but Woo doesn’t seem to mind when he drops a small plastic package full of…

“Kitties!” You coo out loud at the assortment of colorful enamel pins inside before gawking at him. “Seriously, Woo, you’re way too nice to me. I’m starting to feel indebted.”

He shakes his head with an adorable laugh. “It’s nothing. I swear. They just reminded me of you when my friends and I passed this one booth at a festival.”

Shit. They reminded him of you?

“So are you finally going to sit down and talk to me about adopting Hani or are you gonna keep skirting around again, mister?” You place a hand on your hip, pointing an accusatory finger in his direction as you tuck his gift safely in the back pocket of your jeans.

“Surprise, I actually came here to do just that. I still have an hour free before I have to go to work,” Woo admits and him mentioning work taps in on your innate curiosity about what he does for a living. “But your coworker said something about rounding up the dogs and putting them back in the kennel?”

Oh. Shit. 

As if on cue, Mina—along with a few on shift volunteers—emerge down the hall, all of their hands gripping several leashes as an army of dogs fills the hallway with excited and agitated barking alike. 

“Are we good to go?” Mina yells over the noise.

Trying not to look too disappointed that your time with Woo has been cut short, you give Mina a thumbs up before striding off to meet them halfway. You take it upon yourself to take a few of the dogs off one of the volunteers’ hands and he looks at you with withering relief when you do. 

“Yep. Everything’s as fresh as a daisy now,” you inform them. “Hope these guys didn’t make too big of a mess up in the front though. That would mean Kino’s turn for cleaning duty came a little early.”

“Hey!” The volunteer in question complains. “I’ve got a date later, noona. Don’t go saying weird stuff like that.”

You’re just about to tease him a little more but you suddenly feel the force of a couple of former strays tugging you forward disappear. That’s when you notice that Woo made his way to your side, guiding the dogs silently as he helps lead the first of them to the kennel.

“Oh, you don’t have to,” you insist but your friend(?) merely shakes his head. 

“It’s no big deal,” Woo reassures.

It doesn’t help that this particular hallway is a little cramped. You’re practically standing arm to arm as you all make it to the end. You can practically smell the expensive cologne wafting from his clothes amidst the scent of dog fur that’s starting to permeate the air. When Woo lets out another soft laugh when one of the dogs he has on a leash licks his hand, you know it’s over for you.

It takes about half an hour to settle all fifteen big dogs into their respective cages and by the time it’s over, you’re convinced that you need a shower now more than ever. As Mina and the rest of the volunteers head back to the reception room, you decide to take a break and help yourself to the takeout that Woo personally delivered yet again.

“Thanks for your help. Cleaning day is really one of the toughest days of the month. Especially when we have to clean up the big dog kennels,” you sigh before plopping into an empty seat in the break room. 

“Don’t mention it,” he says and you find yourself imagining a smile behind his mask yet again. “I actually have a dog at home, too, so I would now. But she’s definitely more tame than these guys.”

That makes you pause. “Is that why you’re beating around the bush so much about adopting Hani? You think she won’t get along with your dog?”

He hums a little before stuffing his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. “That’s one of the reasons, yes.”

“Well, you won’t know unless you try,” you huff as you unseal the takeout package—the delectable scent of yangnyeom chicken pervading your senses. “Anyway, you’re going to sign the papers this time, right? Right?”

You have a feeling that you’ve finally got him cornered, but before Woo can even formulate a response, a ringtone that definitely isn’t yours starts going off inside the break room. 

Your friend(????) answers it with a wistful sigh. 

It’s so quiet that you can vaguely make out the voice at the other end of the line saying, “Hyung. Everyone’s looking for you. Where are you?”

You try not to stare at Woo as he takes the call out of pure decency—distracting yourself with your food. But you can’t help but listen in when their conversation is the only thing you can hear at the moment. 

“Yeah, I’ll be there soon. Tell everyone I’m sorry for the hold up, Mingyu.” 

The moment that name leaves Woo’s mouth, you freeze mid-chew. Did he say Mingyu? Like…the idol that Haewon is downright obsessed with? No… It was probably just someone with the same name. It is pretty common, after all.

When he ends the call, you flash him a tight-lipped smile that manages to conceal your momentary surprise. “Rain check?”

“Rain check,” Woo sighs in agreement. 

You nod. “It’s okay. The more you keep delaying Hani’s adoption, the more presents I get from you.”

“And you’re absolutely right about that,” he humors you before reaching out to ruffle your hair. You haven’t even recovered from that little gesture he just did when he asks, “Hope our plans for later are still up though?”

Woo must’ve caught the look on your face with the way he retracts the hand that was just on top of your head to snicker into his palm. “Don’t tell me you forgot. We were supposed to celebrate my birthday, remember?”

Curse you and your habit of making plans at ass o’clock in the morning. You always forget them!

“Uh, it kinda slipped my mind?” you admit sheepishly as you pick at your food. “I ended up going for a day shift ‘cause I have to see my sister off at the airport tomorrow.” 

He nods in earnest and it kind of makes you feel bad about your short term memory. “It’s alright. I’ll just drop by some other time to get the paperwork over with. I’ve disturbed you enough as it is.”

“No, it’s fine!”

Your sudden outburst makes Woo look up at you with a confused stare. “Hm?”

“I-I can still meet up with you later,” you stammer and you have to force yourself not to bury your face in your hands out of sheer embarrassment. Pull yourself together, damn. “If you’re not too tired from your plans for the day, of course.”

He mentioned something about having to go to work, and while you can’t imagine what sort of work has to be urgently done on a Saturday, you’ll still respect his time. 

Woo blinks for a few seconds, as if still digesting what you just said before his eyes disappear behind his glasses with a soft chuckle. Your brows cinch together, not getting what’s so funny. 

“Noted. I’ll come pick you up here later, still? If you’re not comfortable with sharing your address with me yet.” 

He’s so thoughtful, you might actually give him all your personal details at this point. But at the end of the day you’re actually a person with a head full of common sense, so you answer him with, “Sure thing. Thanks for going out of your way to come hang out despite how busy you are.”

“No, thank you for always putting up with me,” Woo insists with a shake of his head. “I swear I’m not hassling you with this whole adoption thing on purpose. There’s just…a lot of things to consider on my end. I hope you understand.”

You wave away his concerns with a laugh. “Just keep getting me more of this chicken and we’ll call it quits.”

“You’ve got yourself a deal.”

When Woo sees himself out of the break room, you fumble for the plastic package in the back of your jeans—taking one of the adorable black cat enamels before pinning it in the front pocket of your uniform. You can’t help the smile that creeps up your face when you see your reflection on the small mirror sitting on the table. 

How could you be this down bad for someone whose entire face you’ve never even seen before? 

Haewon 🪷 [17:20]: Are you suuure you don’t wanna come to the fan meet?

Haewon 🪷 [17:21]: I’ve still got a few extra passes :3c you’d get to see wonwoo in the flesh!

Me  [17:30]: why do you want to set me up with wonwoo so badly 

Haewon 🪷 [17:31]: Bc we’re sisters? And it’d be cool if we stanned MinWon together?

Me  [17:32]: …not even gonna ask you to elaborate on that

Haewon 🪷 [18:00]: Unnie ㅠㅠ

Me [18:00]: why? what’s wrong, hae?

Haewon 🪷[ 18:05]: Mingyu looks sooooo much better than I remember

Haewon 🪷[18:06]: The girlfriend allegations must be true

Haewon 🪷 [18:06]: Only a man in love can smile like that!

Me [18:07]: or: a man who relies on fanservice to get paid?

Haewon 🪷[ 18:08]: RUDE!!!!

Haewon 🪷 [18:08]: Here’s a pic of Wonwoo to shut you up

Haewon 🪷 [18:09]: [Sent an attachment]

Me [18:10]: idk if i should find the fact that you think some kpop guy affects me in any capacity amusing or concerning

Haewon 🪷 [18:11]: !!!! Take that back wtf?? Wonwoo isn’t just ‘some kpop guy’?????

Me [18:10]: sure he isn’t.

Haewon 🪷 [19:45]: Good news!!

Me [19:45]: you’re finally going to get off my back about the whole wonwoo thing?

Haewon 🪷 [19:46]: No ^_^ My Monday final got canceled so I can stay in Seoul for a day more!

Haewon 🪷 [19:46]: Aka you don’t have to wake up early to drag your ass to the airport w me

Me [19:47]: oh. that’s cool. what’re your plans for tomorrow then?

Haewon 🪷 [19:48]: Gonna attend the pre-recording for a music show :3

Me [19:50]: …Haewon i swear to god if you ask me to do what you’re about to ask me to do

Haewon 🪷 [19:50]: Come with me pretty pleaaaase?

Haewon 🪷 [19:51]: I’m using my adorable dongsaeng powers to get you to agree

Me [19:55]: there’s no talking my way out of this, is there?

Haewon 🪷 [19:55]: Nope <3

Me [19:56]: fine. just text me the details. i need to go out soon. 

Haewon 🪷 [19:56]: HEHE have fun !!

You weren’t lying when you texted Haewon that you had to go out soon. You agreed that you’d meet up with Woo for his post-birthday celebration at 9 P.M. Hell, you even called a local bakery to have a personalized cake made for pick-up before you head over to the rendezvous point. Everything was already set right from the start.

But then you ended up falling asleep while scrolling through Twitter and now the clock reads 10:45 P.M., and you’re rushing to pull on a ratty sweater instead of the cute outfit you planned for the night as you rush out of your apartment.

Me [10:47]: FUCK IM SORRY

Me [10:47]: i was SUPPOSED to take a five minute nap but i didn’t realize how tired i was

Me [10:48]: are you still up to hang out? i totally get it if not though.

You immediately stuff your phone in the pocket of your jeans—not even bothering to glance at Woo’s reply when it vibrates with a text notification. Your conscience is much too guild-ridden to read any sort of reassurance he’d undoubtedly give to you despite how long you’ve made him wait. 

Two hours, jeez. You’d be furious if someone was that late on you.

When you arrive at the shelter after doing a couple of quick detours, you’re panting like you just won first place in a marathon. Needless to say, it’s a pitiful sight to behold when Woo is leaning across his motorcycle—looking much too attractive in that stupid leather jacket of his. 

“Is this what the kids call fashionably late these days?” he chuckles.

If you weren’t so apologetic, you would’ve rolled your eyes so instead, you give him a crumpled paper bag with a smile that borders on overcompensating.

“Happy birthday?”

Woo looks like he was just about to say something until a quiet mewl interrupts him midway. You gaze at him with a puzzled look until he stifles a soft laugh, pulling the lapel of his jacket open to reveal—

“Hani?” You scowl.

The black kitten is tucked away snugly in the inner pocket of Woo’s jacket—nearly blending in with the leather. It’s almost as if two pairs of big yellow eyes are staring at you from a void. 

“Finally got the papers over with when you fell asleep on me,” Woo chuckles before scratching behind her ears. “So I guess it wasn’t so bad that you made me wait for two hours.” 

“Hey, I said I was sorry!”

“Yes, and I heard you,” he insists before peering inside the paper bag you gave him. “What’s this?”

“No peeking until we get to your good old thinking spot,” you scold, smacking his hand away. 

A hand that you just noticed is also clad in a leather glove. 

He shakes his head playfully before putting his arms up in surrender. “For someone who’s two hours late, you’re pretty demanding.”

“Woo!”

During his last few days in Japan, Woo told you about his favorite thinking spot that’s specifically located beneath Hannam Bridge. There’s an old watchtower that was built before the bridge even existed. I go there when I want to clear my head. 

When he said he wanted to bring you there for his belated birthday bash, the ghastly possibility of him turning out to be a serial killer luring you to your doom crossed your mind for half a second before you ended up agreeing anyway.

Now here you are, drowning in the musk of his cologne as you press your cheek against the fabric of his jacket. He’s definitely going past the speed limit with how sharply the wind sings in your ears, but instead of complaining about it, you tighten your arms around his torso—letting the warmth of his body seep into yours. 

“It’s not so scary if you don’t think about it too much,” you hear him shout from the front. “Look to your right! This is why I’ve always liked doing late night rides!”

Easy for him to say. He’s brave enough to harbor a kitten inside his jacket and a person who’s never ridden a motorcycle before at a hundred kilometers per hour! But despite how terrified you are of falling off his bike, you do as he says anyways.

When you tilt your gaze in the direction of the Han River, you’re immediately greeted by the dazzling lights that glimmer across the water. You haven’t been to the districts on the other side of the river, but you think you’re content with getting to see them from afar.

With the roar of an engine ringing in your ears. With the summer evening breeze whipping past your face.

With your arms around someone who’s slowly but surely leaving his mark in your life. 

“Are you sure this is legal?”

Your companion glances behind him as he makes his way to the aforementioned watch tower—a knapsack full of god-knows-what slung around his shoulder while he carries the paper bag with your “gift” in his free hand. “I’ve never seen a single ‘No Trespassing' sign since I’ve started going here ages ago, so probably.”

“Probably?” you parrot and Hani, who you’ve deigned to carry in your arms after that grueling motorcycle ride, meows as if she’s just as incredulous as you are. “So it’s still possible for us to get arrested?”

“Yeah, but what’s life without a little risk?” 

Unbelievable.

Yet, despite the common sense you were oh-so proud of this morning, you still follow him up the winding steps of the watchtower, which is hardly even a watchtower given that it’s a few meters beneath the widest bridge in the city. Woo wasn’t lying about his strange description of it after all.

“Well, here we are,” he announces when the two of you reach the platform on the very top. The edges are lined with metal rails that are beginning to rust with age, but seem sturdy enough to grant you some sense of security—no matter how sparse. “I’ll just set this up. You can go enjoy the view if you want.”

Woo doesn’t even let you get a word in before he unzips his bag and brings out a checkered picnic blanket. He gently lays it across the dusty concrete, smoothing out the fabric before fishing some more stuff inside his gym-bag-turned-picnic-basket. You keep yourself from making any snide comments about his choice of venue because despite the unorthodox location, you actually get why he’d find it peaceful here.

It’s far enough from the freeway that the sound of vehicles rushing through the night can barely reach your ears. If you listen closely enough, you can even hear the water flowing below much more clearly. You close your eyes to get a better feel of the place—imagining a six-foot something guy leaning across the rusty railings as he watches the city lights sparkle across the Han River.

“There we go.” 

You startle when you feel Woo’s warm, leather-clad hand on your shoulder—prompting you to turn around and see his handiwork. In the middle of the picnic blanket is something that looks suspiciously like a portable emergency light. How he got his hands on something like that, you’re not entirely sure, so you decide to focus on the other details instead. 

Like the two unopened bottles of soju right next to a take-out package of your favorite yangnyeom chicken. 

“Didn’t we agree that I was treating you to something this time around?” you grumble as you absentmindedly stroke Hani’s fur. 

“We did, but then you overslept and—”

“Okay, fine! Point taken!”

Woo snickers as he hands you the paper bag you brought for the trip. It looks even worse than it was when you ran all the way to the shelter and you can only hope the package inside isn’t completely ruined. 

You decide to let Hani down inside the gym bag that Woo left unzipped. Surprisingly, the newly adopted kitten makes a home out of it quickly—curling up into a ball as her tail swishes every now and again. Cute.

“Don’t judge, okay?” You breathe out nervously as you take the plastic container out of the bag. “I had a legit cake custom-made and everything but…yeah. Overslept.”

When Woo doesn’t respond a second too long, your gaze nervously rivets to his face to parse for a reaction. Was he disappointed? Should you have gotten a different design?

The moment you see the dazzled look in his eyes, however, you realize that isn’t the case.

He receives the little cupcake with open arms when you give it to him. It’s chocolate topped with bad fondant icing art, but you didn’t really have a choice. When you spotted it in the convenience store earlier, you grabbed the one that looked most like a kitten and dipped. It’s nice to know that he might actually like it after all.

“Oh and uh, sorry, but I couldn’t bring any candles for you to blow,” you add sheepishly. “You can just make a wish and pretend.” 

Woo’s gaze drifts to you for a moment before his eyes crinkle with laughter. “I don’t really have to do that though. My wish has already come true.”

Huh?

To your chagrin, he doesn’t elaborate. Instead, Woo invites you to sit on the picnic blanket—carefully removing his boots so he wouldn’t track dirt all over the food and you follow suit. 

You fill the silence with your goings-on for the rest of the day and how exactly you ended up dozing off and he’s kind enough to listen to every word. However, when you ask if he wants to do a toast, he shakes his head.

“I need to drive you back, remember?” 

You shoot him a dirty look. “So you took me all the way out here just so I can have two bottles of soju all to myself while you sit there and listen to me talk about my day?”

“...Yes?”

Men are so fucking infuriating sometimes, you can hardly believe it.

“Nope.” You firmly shake your head—plucking the bottle opener he set down on the blanket to pop the caps off. “You’re drinking with me. Just quit driving past the speed limit so we won’t die in a freak accident.” 

You immediately notice the stiffness in his shoulders as you shove the bottle of soju in his hands and part of you feels kind of bad for being pushy. For a moment, you allow yourself to scrutinize him for a bit longer. What could possibly be deterring him from drinking after going out of his way to do all this? 

That’s when you realize he still has his mask on.

Does he…have issues about people seeing his face?

That would definitely explain why he hasn’t once taken it off in all the times you’ve met him so far. With that in mind, you promptly decide to tell him that okay, he doesn’t have to if he really doesn’t want to, but then Woo is already reaching up to peel the blasted face mask off. 

Your chest seizes with panic, hands flying in front of you to keep him from doing something against his will. But the effort is futile because it only takes a second for him to remove and… 

Fuck.

Cue the choir of angels because goddamn does this man look like heaven.

Woo shifts somewhat uncomfortably under your stare, as if he’s waiting for you to blow up all over his face or something. But you’re much too mesmerized by too many things to form any sort of response right away. 

The sharp cut of his jaw. The gentle curve of his Cupid’s bow. The tinge of red spreading across his cheeks.

“I can’t believe you’ve been gatekeeping yourself from me all this time,” you whisper with a strained laugh—purposely peeling your gaze away for the sake of your own sanity. “I knew you were hot, but…God. I hate you.”

“You…don’t recognize me?” 

The question brings you out of your feelings for a moment, making you glance at him with a questioning stare. “Am I supposed to?”

Woo gapes at the question like he didn’t expect that to be your response before shaking his head vigorously. 

“N-No. Anyway, you said I was hot but you hate me?”

You narrow your eyes at him before taking your first swig of soju. “Don’t start getting all cocky with me, mister! I’ve got eyes and I can’t help that you’re objectively attractive. Just stating facts here.”

When Woo smiles for the first time without the figurative cockblock that is his signature black face mask and honestly? If you died right now, you’d die happily. 

The night presses on in a haze of soju, spicy chicken, and the occasional visit from Hani who uses either of your laps as her personal bed for about five minutes before switching to the other person. 

This is the longest you’ve been with Woo and you’re starting to realize that he isn’t much of a talker, which you completely understand. You can’t imagine someone who’s hell-bent on keeping what he looks like a secret for so long being a chatterbox.

“Oh, but you mentioned something to me at the shelter one time,” you pipe up before scooping a forkful of chicken into your mouth. 

“Yeah? What is it?” Woo asks softly as he pets Hani’s back. 

Feeling just a little bit tipsy from the alcohol, you try not to stare too hard at his handsome face or the way his lip curls at the edges with a tiny smile when Hani purrs from his touch.

“You said Hani reminded you of yourself from before,” you whisper as your gaze drifts to his leather-gloved hands. “Is it okay to ask what you meant by that?”

The sound of the river flowing beneath the watchtower fills your ears as you bask in the silence. It’s a pretty personal question. You’d totally get it if he decides not to answer, but you’re much too curious to keep yourself from asking. 

“Well, I wasn’t a stray or anything, but there was a time in my life that I felt so…aimless. I lost someone near and dear to me, and I didn’t know how to deal with it for a very long time.”

Hearing the earnest ring of Woo’s voice, you force yourself to snap out of your subtle inebriation—scooting a little bit closer to him on the blanket to make sure you catch every word. 

“I didn’t get into a life-threatening accident like this one did either, but…” He trails off for a moment, stroking the scar that you know runs along Hani’s sternum but has long healed with his fingers. 

“I managed to get back on track when the people around me showed me their support. They didn’t leave even if all I wanted was to be left alone. If it weren’t for them, it might’ve taken me even longer to move past what happened. Worse, I might not have moved past it at all.

“When I saw Hani that day, she looked scared of all the other cats. Like she wasn’t ready to let anyone get close to her just yet.” Woo breathes deeply before taking a small sip from his bottle. “I guess I was the same way, too. Healing isn’t linear. Sometimes, when I think I’m all better, one day, I just spiral back to where I started in the next one. That’s…kind of where you fit into the picture, actually.”

The brief pause in his story makes you blink at him, surprised. “Me?”

He nods. “You used to feed the strays in your neighborhood, right? You even had a schedule and everything.”

“That was months ago,” you mutter. “You mean you already knew me back then? Because of that?”

“I…actually live in that area, too.” He clears his throat, that familiar blush settling across his cheeks once again. “I often saw you feeding the strays because that’s usually the time I got back from the cemetery. One day, things got a bit too much and I kind of…broke down in the park instead of just doing that at home.”

He says it like he’s embarrassed and now that he mentioned it, you vaguely remember consoling a stranger during your days before volunteering at the shelter. You don’t recall much of it though—just the memory of awkwardly patting his back before sending him off feeling just a bit better because you saw him smile a little.

Other than that, you’re drawing blanks.

“How exactly did I help you, though? If you don’t mind me asking.” 

“I wouldn’t say you helped me or anything, but…” Woo pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose while slyly avoiding your eyes. “I distinctly remember you saying something like—”

Hey, it’s just a bad day. Or a bad week. Or a bad month. I don’t know. But it’s not a bad life. It’ll get better soon. I promise.

Fuck. Maybe you do remember.

“It didn’t really mean much to me at the time. Honestly, it kind of pissed me off at first,” Woo admits with a guilty chuckle before taking another sip. “But you were right. Sometimes, things got worse. Other times, it got better. But one day, I realized that I got to a point where it doesn’t hurt as much anymore.

“I’m not usually this open about my problems, but I learned overtime that talking about them makes them less taxing to deal with. Almost like I’m just talking about the weather, you know?” He smiles softly and you swear your heart melts at the sight of it. “And…I also don’t want to be closed off from others anymore. Back then, I mostly just kept everything to myself—bottling it all up until it was just unbearable.” 

“Now you’re here spilling your guts out to some random college senior,” you snicker before taking another swig of your soju. You pout when you realize the bottle’s all empty before placing it back on the picnic blanket. “That’s some character development.”

“It really is.”

The silence sets once more and your eyes wander off to the city so close yet so far away. The lights from the skyscrapers glimmer like stars across the calm waters of the Han River and you like to think it compensates for the fact that the sky is blocked out by the bridge stretched far and wide above you. 

This isn’t how you imagined your first stargazing date would be like, but it’s a good start.

Although, the moment the idea crosses your mind, you’re quick to jolt at your own thoughts. 

This isn’t a date. You’re just celebrating his birthday together. Alone. On a picnic blanket. With one of the loveliest sceneries you’ve laid your eyes on. In a place where he claims that he never once showed to anyone else. 

“Hey, is this—”

Your breath hitches in your throat when you turn to look at Woo—only to find his face mere inches from yours. 

“What?” he whispers and despite the fact that you’re wearing a sweater, you feel goosebumps rise across the skin of your shoulders. 

“Uh.” Fuck. “Is this a date?”

His mouth curves into a smile that you can’t quite get a read on. “It can be what you want it to be.”

“Okay,” you breathe out, suddenly feeling hot all over as his eyes flicker to your lips. “Just so you know, I don’t kiss on the first date.”

When Woo laughs again, it’s a deep-seated noise that makes your insides tingle with an indescribable feeling. You don’t really want to give it a name.

“Okay,” he repeats before pressing his forehead against yours. “We can have our first date next time then.”

Of course the sly fucker dives in for a kiss anyway.

“H-Hey,” you whisper in between, trying not to get too distracted with how plump his lips are as you keep holding him still by his broad shoulders. “You’re going to end up crushing Hani if you d-don’t cut it out!”

Woo sighs against your lips before pulling away regretfully. For a moment, he stares at the sleepy kitten on his lap, gazing around cluelessly after being roused from slumber. His expression softens for a moment as he scoops her up with both hands, settling her down in the comfort of his gym bag. She lets out a satisfied mewl before curling into a ball once more.

“Better?” 

You’re not sure if he’s asking you or the cat, but…

“Better,” you whisper before fisting the lapels of his jacket and crushing your lips with his.

You don’t know where you’re pulling all this pent-up frustration from. During the very brief period that you’ve gotten closer to Woo, your general opinion about him never really deviated from he’s cute and he’s hot. Nothing more, nothing less.

Yet here you are, gasping into his mouth as he flattens his tongue against yours. A strong arm hooks around your waist, pressing your bodies infinitesimally closer and your skin is slowly hitting a fever pitch beneath your clothes. Something wild and all-consuming burns in your veins and you channel it into a moan that makes his grip on you grow tighter. 

You don’t know how exactly you wound up on top of his lap—knees planted on either side of his hips as he continues devouring you with no intention of leaving anything behind. You can feel the expensive material of his leather gloves when his fingers graze along the hem of your sweater. Your skin tingles like every nerve ending has been set alight and if you weren’t already rendered dizzy by his intoxicating cologne, you’re in for a ride with each second his touch hikes further up your torso.

Woo sighs against your lips before pulling away momentarily—eyes aflame before he removes his fogged up glasses with one hand, tossing them somewhat carelessly on the picnic blanket. 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

Why was that so hot?

You’re too stunned to even draw a breath as he stares you down without the constant partition of his glasses. Has his gaze always been this sharp? Have those eyes always been transfixed on you?

“This…This wasn’t part of the plan, if you’re wondering.” Woo croons out the words huskily. Like an afterthought he only considered out of concern for you. Cute. “I swear I didn’t have any ulterior motives when—”

You giggle, before pressing a kiss on his nose. Woo’s eyes widen just a fraction.

“What made you cave then?” 

The way his Adam’s apple bobs has no right to be that alluring, but it pulls you in anyway. “You looked really cute tonight.”

“Is that all?”

“Um, I thought it was sweet that you still got me a cupcake after you overslept?”

You groan, forehead bumping into the crook of his neck. Jesus Christ, he smells so fucking good. “How long are you going to hold that over my head for?”

You feel the vibrations of his laughter humming against your connected chests and your heart swells as Woo wraps his arms around your frame—pulling you into a firm embrace as the heat that engulfed the both of you slowly simmered into the cool evening air. You can feel him tracing idle shapes along your shoulder blades and the small of your back, and it does nothing to keep you from melting into his touch.

It’s so strange how easily you gave into him. You’ve formally known Woo for about three months and became legitimate friends(?) for less than three weeks. If you told Haewon about this whirlwind romance of yours, she’d hit you upside the head and tell you you’re being way too hasty for a man. 

But if it’s a man with a black kitten taking a nap in his gym bag while he kisses you senseless underneath one of Seoul’s busiest freeways, you suppose you can make an exception.

“We should go,” Woo murmurs softly. “You’ve still got to accompany your sister to the airport right?”

“Mmm. Nope. She’s staying a day longer,” you inform him with the same quiet tone, letting your fingers trail up to his hair so you can toy with the strands in your fingertips. “But I do have some more edits to get over with in my final manuscript, so…yeah. We should go.”

Despite wanting nothing but to stay there in Woo’s little safe haven, the two of you manage to miraculously peel yourselves away from each other. Your face is hot the entire time you helped clean up his little picnic setup. When he shuts off the portable emergency light, you squint as you parse your way through the darkness. 

You kind of end up tripping on air like a complete idiot, but before you can tumble off the rails and into the river, Woo catches you by the waist—not so different from how he held you ten minutes prior.

“Careful,” he mutters as he lets you go and you can’t help but silently mourn the loss of his touch again. “I don’t want to be accused of being a murderer.”

You snicker as he gently scoops Hani out of the gym bag and back into the spacious compartment in the lapel of his leather jacket. For a sleepy kitten, she’s surprisingly compliant. “I actually thought all this time you were some sort of serial killer trying to lure me to my doom.”

“You thought that but you came with me anyway?”

“Why not? You’re hot.”

That night, you let Woo drive you back home now that he’s more or less beaten the serial killer allegations. You tell him that he doesn’t have to walk you to your apartment, but he insists—saying that he can afford to leave Hani on his bike for a few minutes. 

Of course, it ends up with another heated makeout session against your front door. This time, those stupid leather-clad fingers hike high enough on your back to toy with the clasp of your bra while his other hand remains tangled in your hair to pull you impossibly closer.

“I have to go,” he rasps before swiping his tongue along his bottom lip—giving you a sudden itch to sink your teeth into it. “But you’re making it really hard to leave.” 

He’s making it really hard to tell him to go home, too, but as much as you want to kiss the night away, you still have some of your wits about you.

You chuckle as you reluctantly extract his wandering hands away from your body. Woo sighs in surrender with a nearly inaudible laugh.

“You already bent my I don’t kiss on the first date rule, genius,” you remind him breathlessly. “Don’t push your luck just yet until we’ve had that so-called first date next time.” 

He grins. “So there’s going to be a next time?”

Deciding to keep him on his toes, you bat your eyelashes coquettishly at him. “Only if you want to.”

Woo leans in to press his lips against the corner of your mouth—trying his best to suppress the grin on his face. 

“I’ll hold you to it then.”

Despite having lived in Seoul for four years and having a hardcore fangirl for a sister, today’s the first time you’ll be attending the pre-recording session for a music show. 

Needless to say, you feel like an outsider amongst the fans armed with all sorts of idol merchandise and dressed in the prettiest outfits. Haewon managed to mooch a lightstick off one of her friends for you to use, but despite the fact that you know not a single soul would give two shits about you here, the alienating sensation remains. 

“Hey, don’t be too nervous,” your little sister chortles as the marshals usher the crowd into the studio. “All you gotta do is wave that lightstick to the beat. You’ll blend right in, I promise.”

You crack her a nervous smile. Oh, the things you do to make Haewon happy.

It’s a little bit of a blur from there. You squeeze past the throng of fans while simultaneously trying not to lose your sister in the crowd. Some of the staff are handing out photocards that you hear are exclusively given away at this specific broadcast and were worth hundreds of thousands of won. You’re not sure which member Haewon got for you, but knowing your little sister, she must’ve snagged one of Wonwoo’s.

When the two of you are settled in your seats, you take the time to admire the set. You never imagined idol music show stages being this massive in person. In fact, you never really spared an active thought about them. Most of the info you do know about these kinds of things are secondhand accounts from Haewon from all the times she’s been to several broadcasting studios across the city. 

“Did you bring the PC I got you last time?” she asks before taking out the broadcast ones out of their plastic package. 

You shake your head. “Sorry. That Wonwoo’s sitting in a different bag.”

“Well, at least you haven’t sold him,” your little sister laughs before handing you one of the cards in her hands. “I told the staff to give us Mingyu and Wonwoo, but they gave me Hoshi and Wonwoo. It’s okay though, ‘cause Hoshi’s my bias wrecker anyway.”

Ah. More fandom jargon that you’re just now hearing about.

Just as the staff is starting to do the final preparations on stage, you decide to check out the broadcast PC that Haewon just gave to you. When your eyes land on Wonwoo’s face, however, you suddenly feel your blood freeze in your veins. 

You…don’t recognize me?

One of the staff members announces that the boys will be out shortly to begin the pre-recording session but the words are all but muted in your ears. 

Because how the hell can you focus on anything else when the face of the man who drove you back home last night—the man who kissed you until you were lightheaded—is plastered on a photocard that could be exchanged for an entire fortune?

This can’t be right, you muse with a scowl—fishing your phone out of your bag as your trembling fingers make haste to open your messaging app. He can’t be the same guy. 

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [09:35]: Good morning, I hope you got enough rest!

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [09:36]: I have a schedule later this morning so I might be MIA 

Me [09:40]: it’s cool. i just woke up actually hahaha

Me [09:40]: i also don’t mind! i’m heading out with my sister in a while too

Me [09:41]: have fun at work(?)

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [09:45]: Haha I will :) Have fun with your sister!

With a deep breath, you lock your phone just as the lights start to dim and the crowd cheers their hearts out. Haewon urges you to turn on your lightstick and the part of the studio that’s filled to the brim with an audience is lit up with hundreds of dazzling lights.  

You would’ve appreciated the sight if only a certain someone didn’t play you for a fucking fool.

Just as promised, the boys that your little sister has been crazy about since their debut all fill the stage gradually. Some of them greet the fans with wide grins and silly little gestures. The others are a little more reserved with their greetings—all shy smiles and reserved movements.

Like Wonwoo, for example.

After several years of only knowing Mingyu thanks to Haewon, this is the first time you were able to pick out another one of them on stage with ease. Why wouldn’t you be able to recognize him? 

He had you pressed up against your front door only a few hours ago.

It all made sense now. The affinity for keeping a face mask on. The late night visits. The fact that he seems to make an exorbitant amount of money from a job he doesn’t want to disclose.

Woo is Wonwoo from SEVENTEEN. 

And he somehow forgot to let you know over the course of your time together. 

You try to keep down the frustration that burns in your throat, making you feel like the roof of your mouth is stuffed with cotton. It’s much easier to mask your feelings once the performers all get into position and the music starts. The loud beat blaring from the speakers coupled with the well-practiced fanchants from the audience easily overpower the sound of your hitched breathing. Even Haewon was too engrossed with the performance to notice your distress.

Still, there’s not much you can do about it now. Especially when Wonwoo’s the one who starts up the first verse of their newest song. 

He looks so…different from the gentle giant you’ve come to know over the past few weeks. There’s a dangerous look in his eyes that you know is all for show, but it makes your spine tingle at the sight of it nonetheless. The words to the song are raspily sung into the mic and if you weren’t convinced that he and Woo aren’t the same person, you most certainly are now.

After all, it’s his fucking voice that got you so down bad in the first place.

Once his part is done, Wonwoo quickly heads over to the next formation—a complete professional by heart. He belts out each dance move with such perfect precision and you wouldn’t expect any less from an idol who’s spent years honing his talents. But despite how awe-struck you are to see this side of him in person, it just wasn’t enough to completely erase the feeling that you’ve been betrayed.

It stings even more when the song ends and the studio is filled with deafening screams from the audience yet again. For once, Wonwoo’s stoic expression cracks with a handsome grin as he and the rest of his bandmates huddle together and exchange high fives. 

That person on stage is both the man you caught feelings for and a stranger at the same time. He easily smiles at the fans the same way he would smile at you, but the difference between Woo and Wonwoo is that only one of them is willing to show this part of his life to the rest of the world. 

Did he not trust you enough? Did he think you’d act like some crazy fan if he told you the truth?

You love Haewon. You love your little sister more than anything in the world, but you can’t pretend that things are okay when the man who kept you in the dark is standing right in front of you, clueless of the revelation that occurred to you just now.

“Where are you going?” Haewon calls out when you make your way out of the rows of seats—earning yourself a collection of glares from the other fans in the vicinity. “Unnie, hey!”

The last thing you want to do is ditch her for something you promised you’d see through until the end but you’re just so fucking done. You don’t want to see Wonwoo right now. Or hear him and his stupidly perfect voice through the studio’s sound system. 

Right now, you just…want to be alone.

About two weeks after you stormed out of the first and last music show pre-recording you’ll ever attend in your life, things have more or less mellowed out. Sort of.

You’ve been taking fewer and fewer shifts at the shelter as graduation draws ever-so near. But aside from wanting to focus on getting your academic backlogs over with, you also wanted to stay away from the one place that Woo—or should you say Wonwoo—can easily find you and subsequently corner you to talk. Because you don’t want to talk to someone who’s basically been lying to your face the entire time you’ve been friends.

Well, you suppose if you really don’t want to hear even a peep out of him, you should’ve blocked his number altogether. But that’s not really the case.

Your phone buzzes while you’re in the middle of signing off adoption papers to a couple who wanted to adopt one of the shelter cats. You thought it was pretty adorable of them to make that decision since having a pet together is almost as good as having a kid together after all.

Thinking it was from your adviser, you snuck a glance towards the notifications in your homescreen. But when you see a familiar emoji plastered on the sender’s nickname, you’re quick to put it face down on the wooden desk.

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [09:35]: Good morning. Are you at the shelter today? Can I speak to you?

How he has it in him to keep texting you as if you haven’t given him nothing but radio silence for the past two weeks, you’re not sure. Wonwoo must’ve sensed that something was amiss the moment you stopped replying to him altogether, but he never tried to pester you about what was wrong. Instead, he simply continued sending all those messages to check in on you despite the fact that it’s almost as if he’s talking to a wall.

Well, it’s not like you have time to entertain him now anyways. 

“Are you sure she doesn’t have a name yet?” One of your clients—the boyfriend—asks as he smooths down his newly adopted Maine Coon’s fur. 

The girlfriend rolls her eyes. “You heard the nice shelter lady, Vern. This one just wouldn’t respond to any name they tried to give her.”

You agree with a half-hearted laugh, trying your best to ignore the guilt that’s perpetually swelling in your heart the longer you ignore Wonwoo’s pleas. “Yup. Our director said she’s got a bit of an attitude, but I think she just has high standards.”

Vern the Boyfriend makes a funny face at that. “So you’re saying that she doesn’t like the names she’s been given so far?”

“Mhmm. We tried Cupcake, Winter, Princess, and Lily, but she liked none of those. Try naming her something fancy. ”

“Chairman Meow?”

“Vern.” 

“What? You gotta admit it’s funny, Sohee.”

Sohee the Girlfriend rolls her eyes. “Yes, but it’s an overused pun now! Think of something else.”

“Hmm. How about…Milana?”

“Is that because Seokmin wouldn’t shut up about his trip to Milan?”

“Ugh, yeah. Two months later and he still won’t stop talking about—”

“The gorgonzola he had for dinner the night before he flew back to Korea. I know. You won’t stop talking about it either.”

“Hey, Seokmin-hyung pays great attention to detail when it comes to food. You can’t help but want it, too.”

As you observe the friendly banter between the couple, you can’t help the smile that spreads across your face. You don’t come across two people who complement each other as well as they do, and from the curious glint in their newly adopted cat’s eyes, you think she likes being in their company as well.

“Fine, let’s test it out first,” Sohee huffs before scratching behind the Maine Coon’s ears. “We’re going to call you Milana. Does that sound good to you?”

When the cat nuzzles her hand with a pleased meow, Sohee and Vern turn to glance at each other at the same time—two matching smiles plastered on their faces.

God. You can only wish to have what they do.

Once the rest of the documents have been finalized, you and Mina—who just got back from updating the vaccination records for all the animals in the shelter—see your most recent clients off. Vern the Boyfriend, Sohee the Girlfriend, and Milana the Child are off to the streets to start the next chapter of their lives or whatever.

When the door to the front entrance clicks shut, you let out the longest, deepest sigh known to mankind. Your coworker stifles a laugh.

“Looks like someone’s jealous,” Mina comments. 

You whine. “How could I not be jealous of that? They’re so in love, it’s sickening. They even got a kid together!” 

“You know, you could easily have that too if you just stopped avoiding—”

“Oh, look at the time!” You interrupt her a little too theatrically, stomping off to the direction of the break room. “Gotta go meet my thesis adviser. Kino and the other volunteers should show up in the next hour, though!”

You don’t catch the frustrated look on Mina’s face as you make a hasty retreat, but it doesn’t make you any less guilty about trying to skirt around the topic every chance you get. Mina’s always had your back during these past two weeks. Though you never told her why you’re avoiding your not-so-quote-unquote crush like the plague, she’d always come up with excuses and alibis to throw him off your trail. 

Which, coincidentally, happens again just as you’re changing out of your uniform.

“I don’t suppose you’re looking for a sibling for Hani?” you hear Mina sigh from outside.

The person she’s talking to laughs softly. “No. I think you know why I’m here again.”

God. That fucking voice.

“Well, again, she’s not here,” your coworker bluffs. “And uh, word of advice, I get that you’re hot shit and all, but if you keep trying to bother my friend who, for some reason, doesn’t want anything to do with you, I might have to call the authorities.”

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a second.

That’s a little too different from the typical ‘oh I’m sure she’ll come around one of these days’ spiel that Mina always feeds to Wonwoo every time he visits. Sure, you’re not yet ready to face him yet after everything that’s happened, but it’s not like you want him thrown in jail—

“Uh, right. I get it,” he says awkwardly, clearing his throat in the process. “It’s just that she hasn’t spoken to me in days and I’m a little worried—”

“That’s clearly a sign for you to back off, buddy.” You can almost see Mina with her arms crossed, rolling her eyes. “I’ve been keeping myself from saying anything about it, but I’ve always found it strange how often you visit a goddamn animal shelter. And now that she’s clearly avoiding you, you’re still trying to corner her? Are you a stalker or something?”

Fuck. This isn’t how the conversation is supposed to go! 

Mina’s job is to just politely drive Wonwoo away so you can slip out of the building without having to talk to him. But your coworker must’ve misinterpreted your persistent reluctance to meet him as genuine fear and…while you’re glad you have a friend who looks out for you like that, she’s going about all of this the wrong way!

Wonwoo doesn’t speak for a long time and your heart squeezes at the notion that he’s been called all those harsh words when all he wanted to do was talk to you. You didn’t even give him any reasons as to why you suddenly decided to cut him off. But instead of marching out there to face him and clear the air yourself…

You stay hidden in the break room like a fucking coward.

“I understand why you’d assume that, but I don’t have any ill intentions—”

“That's exactly what a guy with ill intentions would say,” Mina scoffs. “Do both of us a favor and just leave, yeah? And stop trying to contact her when she obviously wants nothing to do with you anymore.”

The silence hangs thick from outside and despite being in the break room, you swear you can almost choke on it yourself. 

You’re not sure what expression Wonwoo is wearing. Actually, you don’t even know him well enough to know those kinds of things. The most you’ve seen of his face was during that quiet night you spent together two weeks ago and you’ve severed contact with him all because of something that he probably could have explained if only you gave him the chance to.

“Okay,” he whispers so softly, you almost don’t catch it. “Thanks for your time.”

Fortunately, Mina doesn’t try to add any more fuel to the fire. All you hear is the sound of retreating footsteps and the sound of the front door clicking shut. 

It’s only when your coworker pokes her head inside the break room that you realize you’ve been holding your breath.

“He’s gone now,” she murmurs with a comforting smile. “And if he doesn’t stop bothering you even after that, I’ll raise the complaint to the director himself. I’m sure he can pull some legal strings to keep that guy out of the area for good.”

You find it kind of ironic that a few minutes ago, Mina was teasing you about him and now things have escalated into restraining order territory. But you can’t really blame her for it.

Especially when you’ve done nothing to clear up the misunderstanding.

“Right. Thanks, Mina.” You manage a thin smile, fingers absentmindedly drifting to the black cat enamel you still pinned to your uniform’s chest pocket.

“I really appreciate it.”

Haewon 🪷 [10:30]: Unnie hiii

Haewon 🪷 [10:33]: Can you call me as soon as you read this? Xoxo

You get to check Haewon’s message three hours late because finally, finally you’ve managed to defend your thesis after innumerable sleepless nights and neverending changes to your manuscript draft. Your panelists and advisers had nothing but praises to sing about your work—even going as far as to promise that your paper will definitely be published in the next volume of the academic journal you’d been secretly hoping it’ll get selected for. 

It’s still surreal that the only thing you’ve got left on your university to-do list is to attend the commencement rites scheduled in three weeks’ time. Four grueling years have really just gone by in a flash. 

After enjoying one of your last lunch breaks in the quad with some old classmates who’ve also conquered the figurative beast that is their undergrad thesis, you excuse yourself for a while to give your little sister a ring. Haewon picks up on the second ring. 

“About time you called,” she huffs. “I thought you were sleeping in the day again.”

You shake your head with a laugh despite the fact that she can’t see the gesture. “No more sleeping in the day for me ‘cause I’m graduating.”

Haewon gasps—loud enough to create static across the line. “Really? Oh my god. That’s good news then! Mom and dad were actually getting worried about you, you know? You’ve been throwing yourself into that stupid thesis of yours for a month now.” 

It takes a while for you to formulate a response, something akin to guilt creeping into your heart at the prospect of worrying your parents sick. But then again, what’s done is done. You can catch up on the several hours of sleep and countless brain cells you’ve lost trying to make your final manuscript actually make sense.

“It’s all good now,” you reassure. “All you guys have to do now is fly over to Seoul for my graduation and I can pack my bags and go back to the countryside as soon as I can.” 

You half-expect Haewon to laugh off your haste to travel back to your hometown and say something about how you’re better off in the city than this old dump. 

But you’re met with silence instead.

“Um,” she starts nervously after a few moments. “I know most of the stuff that’s been stressing you out is gone now, but… Are you sure you’re okay?”

The question makes you swallow thickly. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Unnie, I’m your sister,” Haewon says a-matter-of-factly and you can almost picture her scowling at you. “We both know you’ve been acting really weird ever since the pre-recording. I couldn’t pester you about it ‘cause I had to go back home the next day. And I didn’t want to bother you while you were finishing up your thesis.

“So now that all those obstacles are out of the way, do you mind telling me what’s wrong?”

The sound of the other students milling around the quad rings in your ears as you process Haewon’s words. When you take a deep breath, the exhale is accompanied by defeated laughter.

You’re an idiot to think you could ever escape your little sister’s scrutiny.

“I know you’re going to give me shit if I say it’s nothing you should worry about—”

“You’re right,” she interjects. “I will give you shit.”

“—but it really is nothing you should worry about,” you continue anyway, toying with the hem of your sweater with a wistful sigh. “Long story short, it’s…boy problems. Boy problems that I’ve ignored long enough that they just went away all on their own.”

At the other line, Haewon makes a strangled noise as if that’s not the answer she was expecting. “Come again?”

“Yeah, Hae. Your big sister actually has boy problems,” you chortle. “Weird, right?”

“Yes and you didn’t even bother telling me about it at all?!” She crows angrily. “You have to give me the gist or I’m hanging up and booking the next flight to Seoul.” 

For a moment, you hesitate and give yourself a moment to think about what you can and can’t tell Haewon over a phone call when she’s a whole plane ride away from you. 

She absolutely cannot know that the boy in question is Wonwoo. You’ll probably spend more time trying to convince her that what you’re saying is true than avoiding a pity party. So instead, you tell her:

“Well, this boy and I had…something good going for us, I think. I like him, you know—really, really like him. But then one day, I found out that he’s been keeping this important thing about himself from me.” A sigh. “Like, I know some stuff is none of my business, but it’s so easy for him to let others know about that…that thing, yet somehow he never bothered to tell me. I couldn’t help but feel like he didn’t trust me enough.”

Surprisingly, Haewon lets out a hum of understanding. “Yeah, that’s kind of a dick move on his part. Did you confront him about it?”

You find yourself tongue-tied for a moment—a bit embarrassed to admit to your little sister that you chose the coward’s way out of this. 

“Um, that’s the thing. I kind of ghosted him when I found out,” you tell her sheepishly. “I don’t think he knows the reason why I suddenly just dipped to this day. Haven’t spoken to him in…two months.” 

“Uh-huh. So all this time, you’ve been burying your guilt in schoolwork. Is that it?”

The straightforward tone catches you off guard for a second. “That’s not—”

“Unnie,” Haewon calls out firmly, making you close your mouth. “Again, I’m your sister. I know things about you that others don’t—things that you don’t either, probably. And trust me when I say this, but you are not the confrontational type. Don’t worry though because it’s perfectly fine to avoid the things you don’t want to deal with. Especially if you’re dealing with a person that’s more trouble than they’re worth.

“But…you said that you really, really like him. Present tense.” She pauses briefly, as if letting you digest what she’s saying a little better. “If the circumstances were even slightly different, I would’ve cheered you on for ghosting someone who hasn’t been one hundred percent honest with you because, duh? Deserved. But from the way you’ve been coping with what happened, I can’t help but think that avoiding him like this isn’t what you wanted to do at all.” 

Haewon’s words flow from the speaker and lance straight through your heart, and you start to wonder when she started sounding so reliable. You’re used to looking out for her even with the distance separating you. But ironically, it’s in your last year of college that your sister effortlessly dissected the dilemma that’s been plaguing you for weeks.

“Look, I think you’ll feel much better about all this if you just talk to him,” she continues when you don’t utter a word in response. “Not that I’m siding with some semi-lying jerk, but maybe he had his reasons for hiding…whatever he was hiding from you? If he gives you a bullshit excuse, then at least the ghosting will finally be justified, right?”

Her frankness makes you snort. “I guess.”

“Good. Now hang up and call him now.”

“...What?” 

“You heard me.”

“Haewon, I can’t just call him out of nowhere after ignoring him for so long.”

“Pfft. Of course you can! If he doesn’t answer, then that still justifies the ghosting because he obviously doesn’t want you enough. Men like that don’t deserve you, unnie.”

“...Fine. Point taken.”

You end the call after Haewon makes you swear to keep her posted about the situation and your love life in general from now on. Sighing, you reluctantly scroll through your messaging app—finding a conversation that’s long been buried by more recent texts from other people after he sent his final messages to you.

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [02:35]: It’s been three weeks since you last replied. Hope you’re doing okay. 

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [02:36]: Mina told me that you wanted nothing to do with me anymore but I really don’t understand why because…aren’t we good? Didn’t we have something back there? Or was I just reading you wrong the whole time?

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [02:55]: Either way, she was right about one thing at least. I’ve probably made you uncomfortable with my texts. Kind of pathetic now that I think about it. 

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [03:01]: I’m sorry for constantly bothering you like this. It’s just that…I want to know what went wrong.

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [03:05]: It’s getting harder for me to sleep at night knowing I fucked up something that could’ve been the start of something nice. I was already planning our first date, you know?

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [03:10]: Fuck. Now it just sounds like I’m gaslighting haha.

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [03:17]: Maybe I am. Maybe I’m not. I don’t even know anymore.

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [04:25]: What I do know is that I miss you. So much.

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [10:05]: Uh. Sorry about all of that. I had a few drinks and…you know how it goes.

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [10:12]: I’ll stop texting you for real now. 

Woo 🐈‍⬛ [10:15]: I hope your studies go well. Thank you for being part of my life, no matter how short our time together was.

Fuck. 

This is going to be much more difficult than you thought.

You don’t really blame yourself when it takes you a few days to decide whether or not you should call Wonwoo. The choice has been weighing on you like a cloud above your head and you had to decline several invites to go out from your friends because you simply cannot sit still, knowing that you have to do something about…whatever’s going on with the two of you.

Part of you insists on just leaving it as it is. Wonwoo is an idol that’s almost a decade into his career and you’re much too certain that he’s met enough people in his life to deem the loss of your company specifically a big deal. He has his members, his fans, and anything else a person could ever want.

So what if some college senior he doesn’t even know that well just ghosted him out of nowhere?

But even with that logic, you still end up holding your breath before pressing the call button one Tuesday afternoon. 

There are a total of five attempts made and all five lead you straight to voicemail—each instance making your heart grow heavier and heavier once the prerecorded message comes to an end. You secretly fear that he must’ve blocked your number altogether. Why wouldn’t he after you’ve wasted his time as much as you did?

Others would’ve considered this as a sign to just give up. The universe is basically telling you that the brief time you shared together would yield nothing more. Wonwoo has his own career to worry about and as do you, now that you’re finally going to be ejected from university and into the life of an unemployed fresh grad. You’re better off not chasing after the things you’ve purposely run away from in the first place.

So why on earth are you looking up the exact address of his company building, making the long commute for the slim chance of running into him against all odds?

The security around the area might look lax but you can spot the assortment of security guards stationed both inside and outside of the company building pretty easily. Given the nature of the business they’re running, it would make sense that they’d put up all possible countermeasures against people who might try to inconvenience their artists in any way.

Not wanting to be branded as a crazed fan, you decide to keep your distance—purposely lingering outside the shopping center just across the street as you brainstorm how exactly you’re going to meet up with Wonwoo. 

But as the minutes ticked past, your sense of reason is starting to overpower your desire to clear things up with him. For one, you don’t even know what his schedule looks like. How can you be so sure that he’ll even be there today? Worse, would Wonwoo even want to speak with you after everything? Despite having kept the fact that he’s an idol a secret to you all this time, he has all the right to refuse speaking with you when you never even gave him a chance to explain himself.

The noise of the busy district fades in the background as your eyes fall to Wonwoo’s final text message. You haven’t even thought of texting him since you considered reaching out. But with the fact that your earlier phone calls didn’t go through, you don’t think you can bear seeing your apologetic messages get denied in the very real chance that he’s blacklisted your number altogether.

God. You feel so pathetic.

“Hey, it’s you!”

You immediately blanche at the feeling of someone placing a hand on your shoulder—turning around to see who it is only to be met with the sight of two familiar faces.

“Oh,” you voice out somewhat dumbly. “Miss…Sohee? And Vern?”

The couple who adopted a cat from the shelter flashes you pretty smiles, the two of them carrying grocery bags in each arm. Sohee perks up when you recognize them. “Yup! I didn’t expect to see the nice shelter lady around these parts. What brings you here?”

“Just…stuff.” The laugh you spare them is a little too forced, but if they notice, they don’t comment on it. “How about you guys? How has Milana been?”

“Feels right at home in either of our apartments,” Vern chuckles. “You were right about her having high standards. We always end up doing our grocery shopping here instead of the supermarket near my place ‘cause Lana refuses to eat any of the cheap cat food being sold there.”

Sohee sighs in agreement. “Mhmm. You wouldn’t even think she was a rescue with how high maintenance she is, but we’re idiots that dote on her all the time. It’s just a good thing we work right across the street from here.”

Feeling endeared with how much they spoil their new child aside, the latter part of Sohee’s statement catches your attention for a moment. “Sorry? You work right across the street?”

The moment the words leave your lips, the charming smiles on their faces falter before the couple before you share a look. A brief moment of telepathic communication must’ve occurred between the both of them, as if wordlessly discussing whether they should respond, but in the end Sohee relents.

“Yeah. Vern and I work at HYBE,” she chuckles. “I’m actually surprised you don’t recognize him, since he’s—”

“A very loyal employee that the nice shelter lady can’t possibly recognize,” Vern interjects with a cough into his fist and the immediate reaction makes it easier to put two and two together.

He’s an idol. One hundred percent an idol.

Deciding to play along, you offer up a nod in understanding. “I see. Guess you guys are heading back for the day?”

“Yep. We had one of the other members—uh, I mean, one of our friends look after Milana while we had our grocery run,” Vern explains not-so-smoothly.

“As much as we’d like to stay and chat for a while longer, our baby kind of needs us,” Sohee tells you with an apologetic look. “I hope things at the shelter are running smoothly! We’ve seen how dedicated you guys are to taking care of those poor animals.”

You nod. “Of course. I’ll see you guys around?”

“Anytime!”

You and the beautiful couple exchange quaint bows in farewell before the two of them start walking away. But with each footstep that they take further and further away from you, the itch to run after them and ask what you’ve been dying to when they said they both worked at HYBE grows all the more unbearable.

Cut it out, you mentally hiss at yourself. You can’t bother other people about your issues with Wonwoo. That’s just a whole new low. 

You should’ve just gone the opposite direction when the conversation ended. You should’ve just directed yourself to the nearest bus stop back to your apartment—buried all of this in the past where it belongs.

But it’s as if your body has a mind of its own. The next thing you know, you’re sprinting towards Sohee and Vern before they could cross the next intersection—surprising the couple with your sudden re-entry.

“Did you need something?” Sohee asks, accommodating and confused all at once.

Now or never.

“Yes, actually,” you dole out breathlessly, pursing your lips before adding:

“Do you guys know where Wonwoo is?”

Out of all the ways you thought this day could turn out, you never would’ve imagined being in the backseat of one of HYBE’s music producers—breezing through the city’s freeway as she interrogates you about just how exactly you know Jeon Wonwoo.

“So you’re the reason he’s being so off lately,” Sohee chuckles before switching lanes. “Wonwoo’s always been the quiet type, but sometimes you can just tell when there’s a lot on his mind. Isn’t that right, Vernon?”

Vernon, who you come to realize is part of the same group as Wonwoo, glances at you from the rearview mirror with a shake of his head. “I can vouch. Wonwoo-hyung’s been working on sharing stuff with us, but of course there’s still some things he’d like to keep to himself.”

I also don’t want to be closed off from others anymore. Back then, I mostly just kept everything to myself—bottling it all up until it was just unbearable.

Great. Now you feel twice as horrible.

“Honestly, I was kind of scared that you guys would think I’m a sasaeng,” you admit with a dry laugh before settling further into the car’s plush upholstery. 

“While we have no reason not to think that with all the weirdos popping up these days,” Sohee starts before her lips curve into a smile, “it just so happens that Soonyoung also can’t keep his mouth shut about Wonwoo’s little crush.”

That makes your face heat up a little. “Soonyoung like…Wonwoo’s friend?”

“You might know him better as Hoshi,” Vernon explains. 

Hoshi, Hoshi, Hoshi…

You snap your fingers once you figure it out. “Yeah. He’s my sister’s bias wrecker.”

“Now we learn that your sister is a fan, too? Huh. Small world.”

“Anyway,” Sohee interjects. “The reason why we believed your explanation was because Soonyoung described Wonwoo’s crush as an animal lover. He’s not so much of a blabbermouth that he gave us more details aside from that, but Vernon here told me about how Wonwoo always comes late to their unit meetings because he keeps making all these detours first.”

Vernon stifles a laugh. “I actually found out about the shelter because Coups-hyung insisted that we follow him around to figure out where he’s been going. It didn’t occur to me at the time that his animal lover crush and the nice shelter lady could be the same person.”

At this point, you can honestly get used to being called a nice shelter lady. But that aside, you can’t help but flush even further at all the things being revealed to you right now. 

It’s…a lot to unpack. 

First, Wonwoo has a crush on you? A complete nobody? Then again, from how often he’s been seeking you out before things went to shit, you could infer that he’s at least a little bit interested from how he kept going out of his way to see you. He’s even late to meetings because of his little visits. This so-called crush was quite obvious, you just don’t like how flustered hearing it out loud makes you feel.

“But then Wonwoo-hyung just started showing up on time to our meetings during our comeback promotions,” Vernon continues. “We were glad we didn’t have to keep waiting for him to start, but…we also noticed that he’s been kind of down lately. The first time it happened, I assumed it was just an off day for him, though now that we met you like this, that’s definitely not the case.”

Wonwoo’s been feeling down? Because of you?

If the roles were reversed, you can say that you’d feel the same if he just stopped talking to you when you thought you were already growing closer. It doesn’t help that the last time you were together, you shared far too many kisses that mere friends should indulge each other with. 

You sigh, leaning your head against the headrest.

You’re such an idiot. A selfish, inconsiderate—

“Well, here we are.”

When the car pulls over, you don’t even realize that Sohee already left the freeway and drove into one of the roads overlooking the Han River. You can barely keep yourself from choking on your own breath when you spot a very familiar motorcycle parked in front of the vehicle. It doesn’t help that Sohee pulled over a certain spot underneath the elevated highway that you’re very much certain you’ve already been to once before.

“Hyung doesn’t know that we know about this place. He never brings anyone else here,” Vernon informs you with a small smile. “From the look on your face, we can assume that he’s already brought you here though, right?”

You can’t even deny it at this point. “Yeah…”

Sohee moves to unlock the doors before glancing behind the driver’s seat with an encouraging look. “Well, how about you clear things upso we can start going on double dates and stuff.”

“Sohee,” her boyfriend groans.

“What? I think it’d be a great idea.” She pouts. “We can even rope Nari and Mingyu into tagging along. Then it’ll be a triple date.”

“What she means to say is,” Vernon cuts in before Sohee can get another word out. “No pressure. You go sort out the stuff you need to with Wonwoo-hyung. I’m sure the two of you can make the best decision for each other once you get to talk properly.”

The best decision, huh…

Your new friends watch you with wordless encouragement as you open the door to your left, letting out a long-winded breath so you wouldn’t be too psyched out by the circumstances. You thank them both with a subtle nod as you gather enough courage to see the person you’ve been longing to meet again for a while now.

Now or never, you repeat to yourself before finally stepping out of the car.

Wonwoo’s thinking spot looks much different in the day than it does at night.

You had a pretty hard time navigating the short terrain from the road to the old, weathered steps of the watchtower because of the lack of proper illumination. If it weren’t for Wonwoo guiding you the entire time, you would’ve face planted into the pebbled pathway on the first few steps. 

The sun is already setting when you make it to your destination—red orange rays splintering through the high rise buildings on the other side of the river bank. It’s not difficult to spot Wonwoo’s tall figure leaning across the rusty railing of the watchtower, a gentle smile gracing his handsome face as he plays with the growing kitten in his arms. 

He doesn’t notice you at the foot of the concrete steps right away, too engrossed with playing with Hani to take in the rest of his surroundings. But the longer you watch them from afar, the more your chest twists with guilt.

All this time, you never really thought about how Wonwoo must’ve been faring since you ghosted him. You merely assumed that he’d still be living his best life despite what happened between the two of you. The thought that he’ll still be better off without you in his life spurred you on to solely focus on the things you’ve got going on your end. You didn’t consider just how your actions would affect him. Not even once. 

But now, despite having such an adorable cat to keep him company, it isn’t hard to tell that he’s not in the most stellar of moods.

It’s not like you’ve seen Wonwoo smile a lot when you still knew him as Woo—no thanks to his silly little face masks. But you always liked how his eyes crinkled behind his glasses whenever you said something he finds funny or amusing. The easygoing body language he always seemed to have around you.

There’s none of that now.

“Wonwoo.”

He visibly stiffens at the sound of someone calling his name. Cautiously, Wonwoo tucks Hani closer to his chest—glancing around for anyone who could have infiltrated his safe haven.

When his eyes land on you, you can almost hear his breath hitch from where you’re standing.

Seeing no indication that he doesn’t want you here, you swallow the lump in your throat before climbing up the stairs. Each step you take is familiar yet foreign at the same time and you can hear your heart pounding in your ears the closer you get to him. The startled expression on Wonwoo’s face doesn’t falter even when you’re mere feet in front of him on top of the watchtower—like he’s having a hard time grasping your existence.

Hani, however, doesn’t seem all that fazed. The black kitten mewls in delight at the sight of you, squirming around in Wonwoo’s arms, which seems to snap her owner out of his stupor.

His throat bobs. “You know my name.”

You laugh softly. “It isn’t hard to figure it out when you’re as famous as you are.”

Silence permeates the air by the riverside as Wonwoo processes the words you just told him. He sucks in a breath through his teeth, hands absentmindedly running across Hani’s fur.

“So that’s why,” he chuckles with a shake of his head. “I should’ve known…”

You mirror the gesture somewhat vigorously, your throat closing up from all the things you want to say. He doesn’t deserve to be left hanging all because of that stupid reason alone. He doesn’t deserve those hurtful words from Mina.

Most of all, he doesn’t deserve to feel this shitty all because you were too much of a coward to communicate with him.

“I’m sorry.” 

He startles at your apology—obviously not expecting that to be the first thing you say to him after two months of radio silence. “W-Why are you sorry? I should be—”

“It was unfair of me to just ghost you like that when you haven’t explained yourself,” you murmur, tucking your hands behind your back as you stare down at your shoes in shame. “I’m sure you had your reasons for not telling me right away, but… I selfishly thought you didn’t trust me enough to let me know.”

“No,” he quickly clarifies. “It’s not like that at all. I trust you—so much.”

“I know,” you sigh. “It took me a while, but I realized that along the way. The last time we were here, you entrusted me with the story of how you coped with losing someone. You entrusted me with your thoughts, your feelings, your secrets. And I took all that for granted because you didn’t tell me you were an idol.”

Wonwoo falls silent for only a moment as if considering what words to say next. Hani seems to sense his distress, cuddling up to his chest in an attempt to soothe him. He notices what she’s doing right away and Wonwoo scratches behind her ears with a breathless chuckle.

“If it’s any consolation, I didn’t plan on hiding it forever. I knew you would find out eventually—just not as soon as you did,” he murmurs. “It was also unfair of me to take advantage of the fact that you didn’t know me as Wonwoo. But…I wanted to keep my career out of the equation first because it’s nice being treated like a normal person. You never put me on a pedestal or looked at me like I was some sort of god.

“You treated me like I was human.”

This time, you’re the one who’s at a loss for words. 

Having Haewon as a sister, you have this preconceived notion about idols where they have the world in the palm of their hands. You thought for the longest time that all they had to do was go up the stage to sing and dance and look beautiful and the rest will follow. 

Hearing Wonwoo tell you this easily subverted all those assumptions. 

You’ve never been good at telling people the things they need to hear. That’s Haewon’s area of expertise, not yours. So instead of offering up any words of comfort, you quickly close the distance that’s been keeping you apart to throw your arms around his broad shoulders.

Wonwoo freezes up when you pull him into a hug and he loathes the fact that he can’t even reciprocate it given that he has his hands full. It’s kind of adorable how careful you’re being to make sure you don’t accidentally squish Hani between your bodies. 

Suddenly, all that heaviness that’s been lingering in his heart for weeks dissipates in a flash. Wonwoo relishes in the feeling of your warmth seeping into his, resting his forehead on your shoulder as he holds back his emotions.

“Can we start over again?” you murmur. “We still haven’t had our first date, right?”

When you feel the sound of his laughter rumbling in his chest, you can’t help the goosebumps that rise across your skin. “Wow. I didn’t expect you to forgive me that fast.”

Pulling away for a moment, you shoot him a dirty look. “Jeon Wonwoo, are you saying I’m easy?”

“Not at all.” Wonwoo grins and you can barely look at him without recoiling at how good he looks. 

His hair has grown much longer than you remember and seeing the smile that oh-so easily hooked you in deeper than you already were, you already know that you can’t ever hope to put up a fight. 

Not when he’s so love-of-your-life-shaped.

“Since we’re at the point of catching up, I’m actually graduating in three weeks.”

Wonwoo sharply turns to look at you with a scowl as he puts Hani in a little cat backpack he got for her. “Three weeks? Shit… I think we’re going to have a concert at that time.”

You wave away his concern with a smile. “I didn’t mean I was expecting you to show up at the venue, doofus. Can’t have any weird rumors about you going around by attending my graduation.”

“Rumors about what?” he challenges.

“You know.”

“I actually don’t.”

“We just made up ten minutes ago, Do you really want me to bail on you again?”

“Hey, I just thought that if you ever want to spark some dating rumors, we can make it happen any time.” 

“We’re not even dating!”

“Not yet.”

“What?”

“It’s just like you said—I still owe you that first date, don’t I?”

“...Have I told you that you’re insufferable?”

“I’m actually surprised you didn’t start calling me that when I kept visiting the shelter too often to be considered normal.”

“That reminds me, why were you visiting the shelter so much?”

When Wonwoo hands you Hani’s cat backpack, you take it as an invitation to hitch a ride on his motorcycle. After all, it would be uncomfortable to have it sitting between the two of you. However, he takes you completely by surprise by answering you with:

“I like you. That’s why.”

It takes you about five whole seconds to recover from what he just said but it’s five seconds too late because Wonwoo is already chuckling to himself as if he deserves to have the last laugh.

“You’re lucky that I like you too,” you mumble as you carefully hop on his ride—sitting comfortably behind him while making sure Hani is strapped securely behind you. “If I didn’t, Mina would’ve made our boss file a restraining order against you.”

Wonwoo hands you a spare helmet before putting on his own, laughing again as he clicks the lock in place. “Dating rumors and stalking rumors? Being with you sounds like such a big hassle now.”

“Are we going on that first date or not?!”

Two months after graduating and four weeks into officially dating Jeon Wonwoo, you find out the real reason he was taking so damn long to make up his mind about adopting Hani.

The landlord doesn’t prohibit pets—he loves them, actually. 

His dog, Seol, is a little shy, but she gets along with Hani just fine.

But then his old roommate, Mingyu, dropped by to visit Wonwoo’s apartment one day, sneezing all over the place like it’s pollen season. Except the pollen in question is cat fur and it just so happens that he didn’t bring any of his allergy meds for the trip.

“As much as I want to cuddle on the couch catching up on the Marvel Cinematic Universe with you guys, I gotta go,” Mingyu explains while blowing his nose into a tissue. “I’ll die if I spend even a second longer here.”

Wonwoo throws a piece of popcorn at him. “Didn’t you say that you’re going on a date with Nari?”

“Oh. That, too.”

“If she finds out that you just remembered as an afterthought, she’s going to kill you,” you tease while shoving a handful of your movie snacks into your mouth. “At least, that’s what I’d do if Wonwoo did the same thing.”

“Oh, she will. That’s why neither of you are going to tattle on me,” the beefy idol huffs before tossing the soiled tissue in the trash bin. “Anyway, Wonwoo-hyung, you should totally keep in touch with this pet sitter that Seungcheol-hyung discovered recently. A bunch of other artists leave their pets with her whenever they have tight schedules.”

Your boyfriend merely looks at him with an unimpressed look. “Are you saying that just so I can leave Hani there when you come over to play video games with me?”

“Yes.”

Mingyu leaves shortly after receiving a phone call from his girlfriend, Nari, who sounded nothing short of furious when she asked where on earth he is and why he’s late for their date again. Wonwoo tells you that his best friend has a thing for pissing off Nari just so he has an excuse to do grand gestures for her without his girlfriend complaining about it. You tell him that he should start doing the same too.

“By the way, you’re flying back to Jeju for a while, right?” Wonwoo asks once the credits start rolling in the film playing on his TV—the loose grip he has around your waist tightening ever-so slightly.

You shift your weight on the couch to cuddle closer to him. “Yeah. I haven’t seen my parents and Haewon since I graduated. Plus, I don’t have to start working until next month, so I can afford a last-minute getaway.”

He nods. “I still think it’s funny you haven’t told your sister about me. Are you ashamed of me or something?”

“Quit saying weird stuff, Jeon Wonwoo,” you huff before hitting him in the chest. Damn those firm pecs. “I just want to see the look on her face when she finds out I’m dating the person she ships with Mingyu for fun.”

“And I still can’t believe my future sister-in-law is a Gyuldaengie.”

You try not to think about how he said Haewon is his future in-law. You really do.

Once the last of the end credits pans on-screen, the bonus scene at the end of every Marvel movie starts playing and you can’t help but snort when Eddy gets snapped back to his own universe before he can even pay off his tab to the bartender. Just when you’re about to ask Wonwoo if he wants to watch the next movie, you realize he’s had his eyes on you the entire time.

“What?” you laugh.

“Nothing,” he whispers. “I just thought you were really pretty.”

“Wonwoo, you tell me that every thirty minutes. Don’t you get tired of it?”

You yelp when he abruptly pulls you onto his lap, steadying you by the hips so you wouldn’t accidentally topple to the floor. He flashes you a lazy grin as he traces circles along the curve of your thighs and you can barely suppress a groan when you look down at him.

He might look like some otherworldly creature every time he kills it on stage, but you love this Wonwoo just the same—dressed down with his glasses sitting all crooked on the bridge of his nose, hair falling across his eyes. 

“Never,” he says simply. 

There’s something oddly sensual about the way he says it and at that moment, you catch on to the half-lidded look in his eyes. You gulp, gaze instinctively wandering around his apartment to look for Hani and Seol, who you spot dozing next to each other in the kitchen. 

Now that you’re sure none of the kids are watching, you let out a defeated sigh before lacing your arms around his neck and leaning down to kiss him.

Wonwoo is a guy you caved and kissed before the first date, so it’s pretty natural for the two of you to fall into this degree of intimacy every now and again. His effect on you is especially lethal whenever you spend several days apart because of the nature of his career. 

But even if you’re yet to cross that line with your boyfriend, the possibility of it finally coming into fruition becomes more and more real every time his hot tongue slides against yours. 

“Won…woo—” you gasp when you feel his cold fingers sneak up your shirt, hands firmly grabbing your waist to keep you in place. 

Your boyfriend chuckles and the low vibrations that come from his chest shoot straight to your core. “I know tonight was supposed to be movie night, but you’re making it really hard to keep my hands off of you.” 

“That’s what you say all the time,” you groan as he takes your bottom lip between his teeth and tugs. Fuck. “Always blaming me for your lack of self-control.”

“I can’t help it when you’re so fucking beautiful,” he murmurs against your lips before tugging you back down for another heated kiss.

You’ve fooled around with Wonwoo a handful of times and during said times, you’ve gotten an idea of how…into it he gets when pleasuring you. It’s almost as if he delights in seeing you come undone for him even if it’s just with his mouth and fingers. 

It’s during those moments that you can’t help but imagine how he would be once the two of you finally take things all the way. But for all your teasing about how he has questionable self-control, Wonwoo has done nothing but respect the boundaries you’ve clearly set when you started dating. 

“Fuck,” he rasps when he pulls away briefly, resting his head against the cushions of the sofa as he closes his eyes. “Baby, we’ve gotta stop or else I might just cave and fuck you.”

You simper. “You’re the one who started this.”

“Yeah, and that’s why I’m putting a stop to it before I end up doing something you don’t like!”

You shift around on his lap for a moment and Wonwoo is convinced that you’ll give him some reprieve and get off of him before he loses his mind. But then he realizes you’re grinding your hips against the hard-on he’s sporting in his sweats. 

Chuckling to yourself, you pull him by the front of his shirt—pressing a chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth before leaning into his ear to whisper:

“What if I want you to fuck me, Woo?”

The deep growl that resonates in his throat sounds so fucking hot, you can feel a gush of slick surge between your thighs. He doesn’t say a word—merely opting to keep his hard stare on yours as he wraps your legs around his waist. You immediately get the gist and hold on tight to him as he carries you out of the living room and into his bedroom.

“I’m giving you a chance to back out again, sweetheart,” he sighs as he kicks the door shut behind him. “Think you can handle it when I get serious about fucking you until you can’t walk?”

The mental image he conjures in your head has you mewling in his arms, prompting you to pepper his neck with sloppy kisses as he gropes your ass like it’s always belonged to him. 

“Think you can actually make good on that though?” you challenge with a soft chuckle, grazing your teeth just below his collarbone. You won’t bite—knowing that his stylists will give him hell for it if he shows up to work with hickeys. “We both know you like to talk big sometimes.”

Wonwoo breathes out a condescending chuckle before gently easing you on top of the mattress. You didn’t think it was possible, but you swear you get even wetter when he takes off his glasses and licks his lips at the sight of you.

“Oh, baby, you’re in for a fucking ride.”

That’s how you find yourself with your back pressed against Wonwoo’s insanely sculpted chest—both your mouth and pussy stuffed with his thick fingers as he works you open enough to take his cock. He slides those thick digits in and out of your wet channel, making sure you get used to the stretch all while he muffles your noises at the same time. 

Normally, he likes hearing you get whiney and desperate for him, but there’s a charm to seeing you slobber all over his fingers as you clench up around the ones buried in your pussy. 

“Fuck, baby. So goddamn tight for me,” he whispers huskily in your ear and the sound of his rough voice layered with the lewd squelch of your cunt makes your insides tingle. “Been thinking about having this pretty pussy all to myself for a while now. You gonna let me have it now, baby? Let me wreck you on my cock?”

Wonwoo easily has the hottest voice you’ve ever heard in your entire life. While you often think about how you can fall asleep happily just listening to him talk about anything under the sun, it’s an entirely different story when he’s spouting all this filth into your ear as he prepares you for an overdue dicking down. 

“Yes, please—” You sob pathetically when he takes his fingers out of your mouth, curling your arm behind you so you can blindly grab his hair and mend your lips into a messy kiss. “Wonwoo, I need you so bad.”

“Desperate little thing,” your boyfriend chuckles before withdrawing his fingers from your needy hole. The loss has you writhing in his lap, one hand shooting out to keep him where you want him but Wonwoo coos into your ear as if to pacify you. “Shhh, baby, I need you to come first before I fuck you. You’ll be good for me and let me make you come, right?” 

Shit. Who are you to refuse when he propositions you like that?

“I need an answer, sweetheart.”

“I’ll be good,” you gasp almost immediately as your boyfriend starts parting your pussy lips with the hand that was muffling your cute noises. “I’ll be so good for you, please just—”

“Just what, baby?” Wonwoo teases and you nearly cry.

“M-Make me come on your fingers…”

He hums, slick fingers gliding along your slit. “Not if you don’t say—”

“Please,” you whimper before grinding your pussy against his hand. “Wonwoo, I wanna come. Wanna come so bad. Want you to stuff me full of your cock. Want you to—” 

It’s almost like he tapped in on every single nerve ending in your body when his dexterous fingers find your clit—rubbing the puffy bud in fast, tight circles as you start twitching in his arms. Wonwoo lets out another evil laugh as he forcibly pries your legs apart. The firmness of his grip leaves you no choice but to thrash around as he builds your orgasm from the ground up, trailing wet kisses along the column of your throat as he teases an orgasm out of you with the sound of his voice coupled with his sinful ministrations.

“So wet and ready for me. Have you thought about taking me inside this sweet little pussy? Do you think you can even fit me when you’re this tight?” he breathes into your ear and you don’t even have the dignity to bite down your moans anymore. “You’re so close, sweetheart. Let yourself go and I’ll give you what you want. I’ll blow your pretty back out over and over until you’re sick of me.”

Never, you want to tell him. I’ll never get sick of you, stupid Wonwoo.

Funnily enough, that silent jab at him is quickly followed by a mind-numbing release. It washes over you like a storm surging into a calm shore—overloading every cell in your body with pleasure until the only thing that comes out of your mouth is a broken rendition of your lover’s name. 

Wonwoo talks you through your high because he knows you’ve got a thing for his voice. Knows just how much tighter you get when he whispers filthy words with a sultry sweet tone. 

And when he growls, “Good fucking girl,” into your ear, you’re convinced he just made you come again while still riding the waves of your first orgasm. 

For all his vigor, Wonwoo is surprisingly patient with you as you recover from what he just put you through. He plants brief kisses all over your neck and face until your breathing finally evens out and you stop seeing stars in the seams of your vision. Your boyfriend offers up a gentle smile when you finally come to—leaning in to kiss your nose.

“You still want more?” he whispers, exercising enough restraint to be revered despite the fact that you can feel his hard, leaking cock pressed against the small of your back. 

A soft, somewhat weak laugh makes its way past your lips as you turn around to peck his lips. Wonwoo smiles against your mouth and you can’t help but do the same.

Then, you issue another challenge.

“Do your worst.”

You’re grateful now more than ever that Wonwoo is the easiest person to talk to in the entire world. You can practically count the things that he wouldn’t want to discuss with you on one hand alone. 

In other words, you’ve already had the necessary conversations about sex, should you ever have it with him in the future (A.K.A., right now). Wonwoo knows you’ve been on birth control ever since you moved to Seoul all those years ago. He knows that you get yourself tested at least once every month if you can and assures you that he does the same.

On the other hand, you’re well aware that your boyfriend has a thing for coming inside, and now that you’ve gone this far with him, you’ll gladly let Wonwoo make his fantasies a reality. 

He only agreed to it once you promised to tell him whenever you feel like he’s going too far or if he’s doing something you don’t like. You swear you would’ve married him on the spot, if it weren’t for that tiny voice in your head that suspiciously sounds like Haewon telling you off for losing it over a man who’s doing the bare minimum.

With those measures in place, you feel safe enough to let Wonwoo press your face down onto the mattress as his free hand grips your ass—fucking into your tight cunt as he tries (and fails) to keep himself from being too rough with you. 

He really, really wanted to be gentle, considering it’s your first time to lie together like this. But your unfiltered reactions do nothing but test both his patience and self-control in more ways than one. All his plans on making love to you in good old missionary have been tossed out of the window now that you’ve given him the green light to actually fuck you until you can’t walk.

“Wonwoo,” you moan, fists curling into the sheets as he cants his hips deeper and deeper—the head of his cock hitting spots your own fingers could never hope to reach. “S-So fucking good…”

“Yeah?” he breathes raspily before leaning down to press his chest against your back, wanting to engulf you in the heat of his body until it’s all you’ll ever know. “My pretty baby loves my cock that much? You want me to fuck you all the time now?”

“Uh huh.” You nod before letting out a high pitched keen when he amps up the speed of his thrusts—slamming his hips harder against your ass.

Wonwoo thinks he could really get used to the sight of your pretty pussy sucking him in like this. You’re so greedy—clamping down on him as tightly as you do as you moan his name like it’s the only word in your vocabulary. But how could you not when each vein that runs along the underside of his perfect cock drags so deliciously across your velvet walls? When his balls—hot and heavy and full of enough cum to fill you to the brim—keep clapping against your pussy with each powerful thrust?

It’s the first time that you got to get a taste of what your boyfriend is capable of in bed and you can only imagine every instance that will follow once all’s said and done.

When he feels your walls start to spasm around his length every now and again, Wonwoo presses a sloppy kiss across the cut of your jaw—a hand sliding between your thighs so he can find that little bundle of nerves that made you fall apart only several minutes ago. Your reaction is immediate—crying and squirming below him even when you’re helpless against his massive frame pressing you down into the bed. 

“I’m so close, baby,” he groans into your ear, holding out for as long as he can just so he can feel the sensation of you coming around his cock. “You’re almost there, too, aren’t you? My good girl—taking my dick like it’s always been yours. Can you come with me? You can do that for me, right, sweetheart?”

The fondness in his voice strings you even further apart and you’re nothing but a mess of pleasure and delirium as Wonwoo continues his assault on your poor, abused clit. He knows just the right amount of pressure to use and manages to time his thrusts with each delicious pass on that oversensitive bud.  

It’s all over before you know it. 

You let out a long-winded moan that will definitely earn him a couple of noise complaints from the neighbors but Wonwoo doesn’t have it in him to fucking care at the moment. Not when your walls are clamping down so tightly around his cock—making each stroke all the more tantalizing as your pussy milks him for everything he’s got to give you. 

You mindlessly babble a string of I love yous against the sheets, a trail of drool dripping onto the mattress as Wonwoo fucks into you with heightened ferocity. He catches every single word you say and he tilts your head to the side so he can kiss you. Your boyfriend forces your tongue into a dance with his own until his hips stutter and stop—white hot emission surging into your cunt in thick spurts that he hopes would stay inside you for days if he can help himself.

You’re a mess—face painted with a fucked out expression as your pussy leaks with a mixture of yours and Wonwoo’s cum. The mere sight of it is almost enough to make him hard again, but he tells himself that he can take you up on marathon sex next time.

For now, he just wants to clean you up and tuck you back into bed.

“Woo?”

He turns to face you with a questioning look. Your boyfriend just finished with your mandatory aftercare session and is in the middle of making the bed comfortable enough for some post-sex cuddles. “Hmm?”

“You’re still free next week right?” you ask, drawing silly shapes on his chest with your finger once he finally lays down next to you.

“Yeah. I don’t have any major schedules until…” He pauses before conjuring up an imaginary calendar in his mind. “Next month. Why?”

Despite all the debauchery you’ve subjected each other to in a single night, your face still flushes as you consider what you’re about to ask him. Wonwoo smiles at that. Cute.

“How do you feel about flying to Jeju with me so I can introduce you to my family?” you ask shyly, gulping with a nervous laugh. “I totally get it if your management won’t allow it though. It’s hard to keep the media off your back when you’re so famous and—”

He doesn’t do this often, but Wonwoo shuts you up with a firm kiss.

“What are you talking about?” he murmurs, caressing your face tenderly. “Of course I want to meet them.”

When your eyes light up at his confirmation, Wonwoo swears that he couldn’t be more in love.

Me [11:23]: hae, i’ve got good news~

Haewon 🪷 [11:24]: You’re bringing Mingyu with you to Jeju so we can get married?

Me [11:26]: very funny

Me [11:26]: not to spoil your delusions or anything but i’m bringing my boyfriend

Haewon 🪷 [11:30]: Omg… 

Haewon 🪷 [11:30]: Rudeness aside, is it the same guy from before? 

Me [11:31]: yep

 Haewon 🪷 [11:32]: AAAAAAAAA

 Haewon 🪷 [11:32]: I can’t wait to meet him!

 Haewon 🪷 [11:34]: He better be treating you right or I’ll drop kick him off Jusangjeollidae

Me [11:40]: you’ve already met him though~

Haewon 🪷 [11:41]: ?

Haewon 🪷 [11:45]: Unnie, what do you mean…

Haewon 🪷 [12:32]: Hey!!!!

⟢ end notes: if you've made it til the end, congrats! this is the last of the doting on you! series (for now~) and i really hope you enjoyed reading through it as much as i enjoyed writing it!! special thanks to all the friends that read through this for me T T i wouldn't have done it without any of you ueueue and to everyone that has been patiently waiting for me to put up the last installment for the series, thank you for waiting <3 i hope you guys continue to support me with my future work as well!

this is part of the doting on you! series.

[silhouetteofacedar]

Fox Mulder, Closet Romantic Ch. 16: Quench

Previous Chapter - AO3 - MSR, rated E

“You know what amazes me,” Scully says as they walk along the waterfront. “That day we first met… I never would have guessed we’d end up like this. More than partners, more than friends.”

“I didn’t expect you to last three months with me,” Mulder admits, hands in his pockets. “Part of me wanted to drive you away, make you request reassignment.”

“And the other part of you?” she prompts, gently taking ahold of his wrist and drawing his hand out. She laces their fingers together, and their entwined hands swing between them as they walk. He likes it.

“I came to admire you,” he admits. “I read your thesis, for starters, but getting to know you personally was a transformative experience. I saw your strength, your dedication to your principles, your loyalty. I came to depend on your perspective; you were always matching me, challenging me.”

“I thought you hated that,” Scully points out.

“I definitely did on occasion,” he agrees. “But I needed it. I still do. I need your rationality and clarity and willingness to listen, even when you disagree with me. Especially when you disagree,” he amends.

“Respecting the journey,” Scully concurs.

“Exactly.” He glances down at her. “What did you think of me when we first met?”

“Hmm… I’d heard a lot about you, so that definitely colored my view in the beginning,” she says. “But walking into the basement office for the first time, I thought… well, for one, you were much more attractive than I was expecting,” she confesses. “I was actually a little awestruck; that is, until you started talking.”

“Why until I started talking?” he asks, voice amused and defensive in equal measure.

“You were really laying it on thick, playing up the ‘Spooky Mulder’ image. It seemed like you’d been alone down there for a little too long,” she says cheekily.

“I’d argue with you, Scully, but I think this time you’re actually right,” he concedes. He stops walking, gives her hand a gentle tug to guide her closer.

“Are you glad they sent me to spy on you?” she asks softly, taking his free hand into her other one.

He nods and leans down, dropping a soft kiss to her lips. “Best thing the Bureau’s ever done for me.”

“We should head back to the car,” Scully says. “My feet are starting to hurt.”

“It’s impressive, the things you manage to do in heels,” Mulder notes.

“You don’t know the half of it,” she says with a sly grin.

“Scully, please, be gentle with me,” he pleads. “It’s been a long time.”

“Hm,” Scully presses her lips together, stifling a smile. “I like when you beg.”

Jesus H Christ.

The drive back to Scully’s apartment is short, and before he knows it, he’s pulling over in front of her building, not ready to say goodnight.

Scully must sense this, because she turns to him with hopeful eyes. “Would you like to come in?” she asks. “I’ll make some tea.”

Mulder bites his lip, considering. “Are you inviting me up for a drink or are you ‘inviting me up for a drink’?” he asks.

She shrugs, smiling. “Only one way to find out,” she replies.

He has to at least walk her to her door, right? It’s the chivalrous thing to do. He might as well stay for tea…

Scully seems far more relaxed than she had at the start of the evening. She undoes the straps of her little heeled sandals and kicks them off by the door, tossing her bag and shawl onto the couch.

“What kind of tea would you like?” Scully asks, going into the kitchen and opening a cupboard.

“Uh... you have any black tea?” Mulder asks, sitting on the couch. He knows he should probably be more specific, but the majority of his tea experiences are iced and made by someone else, and he frankly doesn’t know what to ask for.

“Several, actually,” Scully answers, rearranging cartons in the cupboard. “I’m making an executive decision,” she announces, pulling out a box of Constant Comment. “Missy and I liked this one best.”

He watches her over the back of the couch as she starts the kettle, takes two mugs out of the cupboard, drops a teabag into each one. Her hair is a little mussed, and the hem of her dress is dragging on the floor without the added height of her heels. He decides that seeing her all put together at the beginning of the night is no match for watching her come undone at the end.

If only every night could be like this; them sitting on her squishy striped couch, cups of spicy tea in hand, talking about the profound and the mundane. Maybe, somehow, we can have this, he thinks. Pore over case notes on the sofa, kiss each other goodnight, wake up in each other’s arms.

He decides that Constant Comment is, in fact, a very good tea.

Cup empty, Scully sighs contentedly as she rests her head on his shoulder. “This is nice,” she says. “I wish we hadn’t waited so long to do this.”

“What, sit on your coach and drink tea?”

“Well, yes, but more than that. I meant just being together, without holding things back.”

“Maybe we weren’t ready,” Mulder muses. “We needed to grow into what we wanted and needed from each other. I know it took me a long time to figure it out, and even longer to get the courage to tell you.”

“Well, I suppose not knowing how I felt didn’t help; I was too subtle. I took what I considered a big swing in Florida,” she admits, “And when you didn’t respond I decided to back off.”

“A big swing? What are you talking about?” Mulder asks.

Scully covers her face with her hands. “It’s so embarrassing now,” she groans. “Remember when they tried to send us to that team-building conference? And I came to your room with wine and cheese?”

“Yes,” he says slowly. “Wait, was that a come-on?”

“Yes!” she exclaims. “I came in with this stupid plate of cheese and minibar wine, trying to… to telegraph that I was interested, and you just kept talking about culling techniques all the way out the door.”

“What were you hoping would happen?” Mulder asks.

“I don’t know,” Scully muses. “I was newly cancer-free, and we had just been through that whole ordeal together... I wanted to take a chance and see where it went. Maybe make out a little bit, at least? I’m not sure if... if I would have been ready for more, even if you expressed an interest. But I definitely wanted it.”

“I had no idea,” he says.

They sit silently for a moment.

“I don’t suppose... we should make up for lost time?” he suggests, looking down at her.

She licks her lips, and his eyes follow the movement of her tongue.

She tilts her chin up to him, and he places his hands on either side of her jaw. He leans in, their noses brushing as he tilts his head and presses his mouth to hers. She sighs into the kiss, bringing her hands to his shoulders.

Her lips are so soft and warm, faintly flavored with spices and orange rind from the tea, and he parts his lips reflexively. Hers follow, and the sensation of their mouths slotting together makes his head spin.

Suddenly he feels the slip of her tongue again his bottom lip and he’s in a free fall. They part with a gasp.

“Too much?” Scully asks.

“No, not at all,” Mulder says quickly. “Just surprised me. It was good,” he assures her.

“Good,” she replies, taking a deep breath. “Sorry… I feel like a clueless teenager,” she says with a huff of a laugh. “I don’t think I’ve ever cared this much. Maybe that’s why I’m feeling out of my depth all of a sudden.”

“I’ve never cared this much for anybody either,” he admits. “But like you said. We’ll go slow.”

She licks her lips. “Okay,” she whispers.

He angles himself towards her, sliding a hand around the back of her neck to draw her closer. “Try again?” he whispers, lips brushing hers.

“Yes,” she breathes.

He’s been holding back from this for years, he realizes; all those times his eyes caught on her lips, watching her mouth shape his name. Occupying his tongue with sunflower seeds to distract himself from what he really wanted. Leaning close, furtively whispering, convincing himself that he really needed to be in her personal space. It was all an elaborate buildup for this moment.

He has a hand in her hair, the other tentatively resting on her waist. Emboldened by her previous eagerness, he opens his mouth, inviting her in with a soft lick. She responds by looping her arms around his neck, one leg hitched across his kneecap as their tongues meet.

They kiss like kites dancing on air, ribbons twisting and tangling in the wind, all silk and cotton and hot breath. He’s not sure if he pulled her onto his lap, or if she slid across his knees of her own volition; but she’s there now, her compact body bundled against his chest. She cards her fingers through his hair, sucking his lower lip, grazing his tongue with her teeth.

Mulder wants this so badly it aches. He might die if they stop, but something below the belt is bound to make itself known, and he needs to regain control before his body gets ahead of his mind.

“Scully,” he pants, pulling back. Her cheeks are flushed, lips swollen, and his hunger intensifies. “Scully, if we’re not going to take this further tonight we need to stop now.”

She nods, lips parted as she catches her breath. One strap of her dress has fallen down her shoulder, and he tenderly replaces it with the slip of a finger.

“Don’t touch me like that,” she whispers. “It’s too dangerous.”

“I know,” he confesses. “But… sometimes I want dangerous.”

“So do I,” she says. “But you were right. We should stop.” She slips off of his lap, standing. “It’s getting late,” she say, glancing at the clock. “I have mass in the morning.”

“I hope I gave you a few things to confess,” he says, rising.

“I may add some to the list myself,” she murmurs, and his knees threaten to give way.

“You’re going to get me in trouble,” he warns her, picking up his jacket and walking to the door. “The more you talk, the harder it is to leave.”

“Then my lips are sealed,” she says. “Goodnight, Mulder.” She opens the door for him, rising onto her tiptoes to receive one more kiss.

It’s brief, but sweet, and Mulder impulsively pulls her into a hug after their lips part. “Goodnight, Scully,” he mumbles into her hair.

He's ascended; gotten high on her lips, floating through the cosmos.

[sevsnapeoriginalfanfix]

I Didn’t Think Anyone Would Ever Need to Know...1/4

“Severus, open up. Now!” Hermione knocked furiously on the heavy, wooden door. Silence. The loud knocking persisted. She heard a slight rustling. A groan. She fidgeted anxiously, waiting for the door to open. She waited. And she waited. After what felt like hours, the door creaked open slightly and an exhausted, infuriated set of dark eyes met hers. “I certainly hope this is a life or death situation. No, I retract my statement. No life is worth disturbing my sleep at 3am. What do you want, Miss Granger?” he snarled. Hermione was undeterred and rivaled his anger with unrelenting joy. “I figured it out. The final step to our potion.”

Hermione had been pursuing a second degree at Hogwarts, much like a Master’s degree in the Muggle world. Originally she had been under Professor McGonagall’s tutelage for her thesis, but Hermione found herself more and more drawn to the subject of potions...and subsequently the Potions master. Not that she would ever admit it, of course. Now her final project was to invent a new potion and she had spent countless hours trying millions- perhaps more- combinations to create the potion. Hermione had decided to create a potion to cure arthritis. Sure, it wasn’t the most glamorous potion, but many older wizards suffered from it due to wand use. Hermione also hoped it would help her parents who suffered from it in the Muggle world...not that they would know who helped them after she had been forced to Obliviate them. Snape studied Hermione’s face intently. He wanted sleep more than anything at this moment. On the other hand, falling back asleep at this point would be an arduous task since the arthritis he himself suffered often kept him awake. He wrestled with his thoughts a bit more and finally opened the door. Getting Hermione to go away would be a harder task than simply letting her in. “It was wormwood. Of all things! Why didn’t we think of that? Actually, I think we did, didn’t we? But it was at the beginning. It didn’t mix well with the adder’s fork. After we got rid of that, it might have worked okay. Then again, without the dandelion root...” Hermione babbled endlessly and Severus simply put up a hand signaling her to stop. “Miss Granger, at this hour I’m interested only in whether the potion works or not. I do not need to know every variation attempted.” Hermione shot him a glare of annoyance but quickly sat down the beaker with the potion on his table. Even his dour manner couldn’t upset her now. “Wait a minute,” she began with a giggle. “Do you sleep in your teaching outfit or did you get out of your pajamas just to greet me at the door?” Even at 3am, the professor couldn’t stand to be seen as an ordinary, even vulnerable, human being. Severus smirked. “I prefer to keep the mystery alive, thank you.” Hermione thought she may have even seen a slight smile start to form at the edges of his upturned lips.

“Now, the potion, if you please.” Hermione nodded and poured the proper amount into a much smaller beaker from her bag. “Drink up!” she exclaimed and watched him bring the potion to his lips. “If this kills me, you’ll be in trouble, Miss Granger,” he teased. “And what will you do about it? You’ll be dead!” she laughed. There was a definite smile on his face this time, even if it was only slight. Hermione was relieved. After the words escaped her lips, she wondered if she had taken things too far. After all, they nearly lost him to Nagini in the Battle of Hogwarts. He’d only made a full recovery a year or so ago. Hermione shuddered at the thought and watched her professor finish the potion. He winced. “It’s dreadful,” he commented dryly. “I was a little busy trying to change the world, Severus. I didn’t have time to make it taste like butterbeer,” she retorted. Hermione relished these moments. She was allowed to call him Severus, yet he couldn’t quite bring himself to call her Hermione. Perhaps it was his way of keeping people at arms length. Nonetheless, their professional relationship was mostly congenial...or as congenial as Severus Snape could be. They traded witty, sarcastic comments and though he would never say it aloud, Severus enjoyed her humor and intelligence.

“It seems you’ve disturbed my slumber for nothing. My hands are still every bit as pained as ever,” Severus said grimly.

“Patience!” Hermione warned. “It takes approximately 30 minutes to begin working.” Severus huffed and furrowed his brow. Could this not have waited until morning? “Fine,” he muttered. “Then I’m breaking out the Firewhisky.” Severus made his way over to the cabinet and pulled out a goblet and a half-full container of the cinnamon flavored liquor. He lifted up a second glass and looked quizzically at Hermione, as if offering her a glass. She chuckled, “Severus, it’s 3 in the morning.” He nodded. “Yes, I’m quite aware of that. And if I’m going to have to stay up with you, I’m going to need some liquor. Now, do you want some or not?” Hermione debated but finally nodded. If the potion didn’t work after all, she’d need it. He poured the goblets to the brim and took a seat beside her at the kitchen table.

They made small talk. Did Severus know that Ginny and Harry were engaged? Did Hermione know that Flitwick was finally retiring? Did Severus have any “insufferable know-it-all” first years like herself? Had Hermione kept in contact with Ron Weasley? Not much, Hermione had admitted. And for good reason, since the foul git had cheated on her with a sixth year student. Severus hadn’t heard that piece of gossip and shook his head. “That imbecile didn’t deserve you on his best day.” Hermione’s eyes widened and her breath hitched. Had he just...complimented her? Maybe even hit on her? Surely not, she assured herself.

Severus cursed himself. “Control, Severus. Control,” he thought. The truth was, Severus thought Hermione was the ultimate catch. He was twice her age and knew he didn’t stand a chance- even if he wanted a chance- but it didn’t stop him from admiring her as a woman. She was charming, wise, and stunningly gorgeous for a know-it-all. He meant what he said. Ron Weasley certainly was no match for the ambitious, beautiful witch before him. Severus knew that he was no match for her, either. “Greasy hair, pale skin, deep scars, a large nose, and painfully skinny body. Every girl’s dream...” he thought sarcastically.

After the comment about Weasley, Hermione and Severus sat in silence for a few moments, both lost in thought and unsure of what to say next. Eventually, Hermione broke the silence and exclaimed, “I may need another!” and poured more Firewhisky in her glass. Severus nodded and re-filled his as well. The pair made more chit-chat until Severus felt a tingling sensation in his right hand. Hermione and Severus watched as his fingers straightened themselves out from their tense, curled position. He looked up at her with bewilderment. “I...I think it’s working!” he stammered excitedly before regaining his composure and resumed speaking at his slow pace in a deep, controlled tone. “Well done, Miss Granger.” Hermione couldn’t control her excitement. She grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze. “We did it together!” she squealed. “And this doesn’t even hurt?” she gave his hand another small squeeze. He shook his head. His face was expressionless, but his eyes glinted with gratitude. She held his hand longer than she meant to. For a moment they locked eyes. Immediately, they both dropped hands, equally uncomfortable with the palpable tension between them. “Perhaps a toast to our hard work?” suggested Hermione. She was beginning to feel the effects of her beverage, but surely one more wouldn’t hurt. “I believe that would be acceptable,” he concurred. They filled their glasses. “To Hermione...for your hard work, determination, and for this damn potion working, even if you did wake me up in the dead of night,” he said with a raised glass. “To Severus...who...wait, did you call me Hermione?” He glanced down to the floor, annoyed his own slip of the tongue.“You cured my ailment, so I suppose you deserve as much,” he said without meeting her eyes. Hermione smiled warmly when he finally looked up. “To Severus, for all of your help. I couldn’t have done this without you. Behind that stern but handsome demeanor, I believe you really do have a heart of gold.” HANDSOME? This time it was Hermione who had the slip of tongue. Why had she said that? Was the it the glow of success? Was it the Firewhisky? She only hoped he wouldn’t think too much of it...

He would, in fact, think too much of it. Had she just said handsome? To him? Surely it was the Firewhisky. Or perhaps she had meant to say something else. That had to have been it.

“Handsome? I believe you have spent too long staring at books and your eyesight has been affected already. Perhaps you should see Madame Pomfrey about that,” he sneered. Hermione shook her head.

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, sir. I wouldn’t exactly describe myself as attractive, either. My hair is too bushy, my thighs are too large. My pores are too big and…well, you yourself have commented on my teeth.”

She smiled after her comment, demonstrating that she held no resentment from the past. Severus was unsure how to continue. His heart screamed, “Tell her she is the most beautiful witch you’ve ever seen, you fool!” His insecurity told him to bite his tongue. The lack of confidence he harbored won out and he shifted in uncomfortable silence. Hermione was disappointed, yet not surprised. She shrugged off the perceived rejection and continued.

“Anyhow, I suppose our time together is drawing to an end. I will graduate in a month and our project is nearly finalized. But we are two misfits in this world, both intrigued more with knowledge than people. I see no reason that we couldn’t be friends.” She glanced up at Severus, who looked as if he had just swallowed an uncomfortably large pill. Friends, of course. He should have known that she viewed him as a friend, only. He debated the proposition. He would love to correspond with Hermione after she left Hogwarts, yet he found that friends had always led to trouble and heartache. He really didn’t need friends. Severus Snape did not need anyone. Nonetheless, he stuck out his hand. Hermione guffawed.

“A handshake? Severus, have you ever had a friend before in your life?” She stood from the table, wrapped her arms around his shoulders from behind, and squeezed with her face touching the side of his cheek. He froze in place. Being touched was an unfamiliar and uncomfortable sensation. “You know, if we are going to be friends, you’re going to have to learn to hug better than that,” she said in a joking manner, although she was completely serious. He exhaled into a nervous laugh, unsure of what to do or say next. He wanted nothing more than to just whirl around and kiss her. He repeated his mantra again in his head. “Control, Severus. Control.”

Hermione was also unsure of what to do. If only he felt for her what she felt for him. He was unlike anyone she has ever known...strong, intelligent, charming in his own Snape way, mysterious, and to her, exceedingly handsome. Her thoughts were interrupted when he spoke. “It can’t surprise you that friends are few and far between for me. And we certainly don’t hug,” said Severus. Hermione furrowed her brow and looked at him long and hard. “Severus, can I ask you a personal question?” she inquired. “No,” he responded curtly, and even though his comment was followed with a smirk, he was only half joking. Hermione shook her head and laughed. She continued anyway. “Have you ever had a girlfriend? I mean, not that I think you couldn’t have one, you just seem to not get close to anyone.” His face blanched at the uncomfortable question. He thought for a moment about how to respond and answered vaguely, “I have had some...female encounters.” Encounters? What the hell did that mean? Had he dated or not? Then it hit her...Severus Snape was referring to sex. She wondered what it would be like to be with him intimately. Was he has rough as his personality or was he secretly gentle? What did he...look like? Hermione blushed at the thought. “Oh...I see...” she began, not sure how to proceed. All she knew is she envied those women. “But no relationships?” He shook his head slowly and Hermione thought she detected some slight embarrassment at the acknowledgment. “Have you ever wanted a relationship?” she asked boldly.

Severus was very disturbed by the content of this conversation. He simply didn’t share feelings. He hardly even allowed himself to feel them. Part of him wanted the conversation to end right then and there. This was FAR out of his comfort zone. Part of him felt uncharacteristically at ease talking to Hermione about such matters. She always had a way of easing his anxieties somehow. He shook his head before responding. “Whether I have wanted a relationship or not is no matter. What matters is the simple fact that I have not. But Hermione, you must remember that you are still my student. My private life and secrets belong to me. It is late at night...early in the morning, rather, and I’m going to sleep now that the potion has worked. Please see yourself out.” After the words escaped his lips, even he was shocked. Every time he nearly got close to someone, he pulled away or lashed out. It was like a train wreck he was powerless to stop. Hermione blinked angrily at him. She opened her mouth several times to speak before words came out. “Severus...you know was well as I do that at Hogwarts, second degree students are considered much more to be colleagues than pupils. I am 21 years old...I am not a child. But perhaps...” she paused a moment and looked deeply into his black eyes. “Maybe this is why you haven’t had a relationship. You push those away who truly care for you.” Instead or responding in his usual anger, Severus stared ashamedly at the floor. She was right. She was always right. Unable to speak, he simply nodded. He expected her to storm out. What he didn’t expect was for her to walk to him, place a hand on his chin, lift his face up to hers, and plant a soft, tender kiss on his lips.

[arcticdementor]

Here is the acceptance speech by Travis Corcoran for 2019 Prometheus Award for Best Novel for Causes of Separation.  (Corcoran could not attend the Dublin Worldcon but wrote this acceptance speech to be read there at the ceremony.)

I would like to thank the LFS for this year’s award, but more generally, I’d like to thank them for existence of the Prometheus award, all forty years of it. It’s good that our subculture has a long-lived award to recognize excellent science fiction, especially pro-liberty science fiction.

But the Prometheus award is not merely recognition, it’s an incentive!

In fact, I might not have written my novels without the Prometheus to aim for. But the Prometheus is not a financial incentive. The one-ounce gold coin on the plaque is nice, but neither I nor any of the other winners over 40 years would ever trade or sell it, and thus – ironically – it has no financial value.

And yet the award – a recognition by a community – is a huge incentive. There’s an interesting argument here about anti-libertarian tropes like the not-so-veiled anti-semitic and anti-capitalist propaganda of socialist Star Trek’s Ferengi, the bourgeois virtues, and the non-market human flourishing that only human liberty unleashes, but that’s a rant for some other day. Thomas Aquinas said “Homo unius libri timeo” – “beware the man of one book.” The meaning has shifted – almost reversed – from “beware the man who has studied one topic intensely” to “beware the man who has only one simple view of a thing.” I concur with this advice (in both forms!). Libertarianism is absolutely correct in its magisteria (the morality of freedom vs coercion), but we need other theories to augment it when we move our sights from individual liberty and financial incentives to other topics, like culture formation – and culture subversion.

…

Every ideology and subculture likes to tell stories about how it will naturally and obviously win. Nineteenth century Protestant missionaries knew that European Protestantism was the way of the future. 20th century Marxists knew that Marxism was. In the early 21st century Wired magazine told us that “netizens” would use technology to create a brave new world. The fact that every one of them has been wrong so far should inform our Bayesian priors. Perhaps cryptography, bitcoin, and the internet aren’t going to create a libertarian future. Perhaps the future looks a lot more like Orwell’s boot stomping on a face, forever.

Why might this be, and – if it does – how might we respond to it?

Last year I spoke about the essay “Geeks, MOPs, and sociopaths in subculture evolution” by David Chapman, which argues that new subcultures are pioneered by geeks, appreciated by members of the public, and taken over by sociopaths. His thesis is a particular example of a more general case.

There’s also Pournelle’s – yes, that Pournelle – iron law of bureaucracy” which states “In any bureaucracy, the people devoted to the benefit of the bureaucracy itself always get in control and those dedicated to the goals the bureaucracy is supposed to accomplish have less and less influence, and sometimes are eliminated entirely.”

Robert Conquest’s third law expresses something similar: “Any organization not explicitly right-wing sooner or later becomes left-wing.”

Chapman’s essay and Pournelle’s and Conquest’s laws are three observations of a single underlying phenomena: the collectivists always worm their way in and take over. We know THAT this happens, but WHY does it happen? How can we model it and understand it?

…

My theory, which unites Chapman’s “Geeks, MOPs, and sociopaths”, Pournelle’s Iron Law, and Conquest’s Third Law is this: organisms, whether they’re unicellular, multicellular, or purely information, like Dawkin’s memes, egregores, and ideologies, mutate, evolve, and are selected for. Those that are best at surviving and reproducing soon dominate the population…and one of the best ways to survive is secure energy resources by hunting, killing, and eating (or, more gently, parasitizing) organisms that do the hard work of harvesting energy and building structures.

David Hines has a great essay at the status451.com blog titled “Days of Rage” where he discusses the surge in left-wing organizing and terrorism in the US in the 1970s. One thing that Hines points out again and again is that collectivists plan, they train, and they invade. I note that their organizations also exchange members and ideas (mate) and fission (reproduce). We are looking not just at a parasite, but at a class of parasite, forged and refined in the Darwinian furnace.

Evolution is a harsh mistress.

…

Predation and parasitism are selected for in the biosphere because they are efficient. They’re selected for in the realm of human culture for the same reason. It’s easier to harvest energy from a parasitized host species than it is to grow leaves, and it’s easier to take over a subculture than it is to create one. Thus science fiction will always suffer wave after wave of entryists, trying to claim the subculture for themselves. And, like Orwell’s Big Brother, they will rewrite history to declare that they invented it. “Let me join your club. You have to change now that I’m here. You have to leave now. We all agree that I made this, decades ago.” We see that all entrusts do this (“The United States was always about social justice ; the Jewish faith was always about social justice ; this TV station and car line and toothpaste were always about social justice”) and we conclude that they do because it is the optimal strategy, tested and chosen by evolution.

So, is that it? Are we doomed to lose all battles, to be preyed upon and parasitized?

In the biosphere, only a minority of organisms are predators or parasites. How could it be otherwise? Someone still needs to do the hard work of capturing solar energy and building biological matter. So too in the world of human culture. Tax-thieving governments and culture-thieving brigands can’t kill the goose that lays the golden egg. The Lotka-Volterra equations, first developed in 1910 to describe chemical reactions, but echoing Pierre-François Verhulst’s logistic equation from almost a century earlier quantified the mechanism.

And, since biology is economics is sociology, I note that Mancur Lloyd Olson Jr.’s theory of roving bandits, which are willing to loot everything from a village, and stationary bandits, who learn to restrain themselves so as to keep the village alive, and capable of being pillaged (or “taxed”) again reaches the same conclusion: predators can never outpopulate the prey … at least not for long.

Based on Lotka, Volterra, and Olson, then, I suggest that the collectivists’ social entryism will never be total. Negative feedback loops will ensure that. When will the entryist wave peak? Perhaps it already has. The last decade saw the cultures of video games and comics under attack from entryists, but perhaps the high water mark has already been reached, as we’ve seen several horrific market failure, such as the female Ghostbusters fiasco, Mass Effect: Andromeda, or that time when Zoe Quinn of comicsgate / Five Guys fame was given a DC Comics title. As the Twitter meme says “get woke, go broke”.

But on the other hand, perhaps not. Strauss–Howe generations theory, which I tentatively give the nod to, suggests that we’re going to be deep in the suck for quite a while yet.

…

What strategies can we use to improve our odds, to make life somewhat more tolerable in a world where Darwinianism means that threats are ever present?

Look to biology.

We can evolve physical defenses, we can evolve camouflage, or we can adapt to new environments that are less conducive to predators.

What do these mean in social terms?

Physical defenses means organizations building mechanisms to keep entryists out – a topic on which I am not an expert…and Pournelle’s Law and Conquest’s Third Law suggest that perhaps no one is.

The social equivalent of camouflage is a mixture of esotericism (in dangerous times people speak in code) and foot-dragging Vichy coexistence. Scott Aaronson and Slate Star Codex wrote essays on “Kolmogorov complicity” (a good pun on Kolmogorov complexity), and I urge you to read them.

My favorite, is the third option: moving to where the predators aren’t. Which – surprise – boils down to my old favorite, exit.

Jame C Scott talks about exit extensively in his book “The Art of Not Being Governed: An Anarchist History of Upland Southeast Asia” and in his later book “Against the Grain: A Deep History of the Earliest States”. He makes the core point that when you see a populace that does not have certain social technologies, that does not mean – contra the default narrative – that they never evolved them. Sometimes populations intentionally abandon technologies because those techniques make them legibile to control and subversion by the overculture. If you want to avoid computer viruses, rip the computers out of your Battlestar. If you want to avoid land taxes, burn down the land registry, or become nomadic. If you want to avoid having your subculture taken over by collectivists … what, exactly?

[ss-squad-au-real-world-stories]

Ch. 1

The following storyline is one big roller coaster ride of emotions. It will have its ups and it will have its downs. It will have its OMG moments and cliffhangers. Lots of cliffhangers (how else do you expect me to keep ya coming back?) there will be angst, drama, action, mystery, and possible love. Not sure on that yet, we’ll see where it goes.      I will do my best to keep the language down. I’m not fond of using the F’ bomb, but words like bitch and asses may be tossed around. That’s about the most of it, but nothing too profane. I know that some of ya’s are under 18. So as to not get myself or you in too much trouble, I’ll do my best to keep the language in check.  Just know that this story is all over the place and you read at your own risk. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!

      Roman watched Logan working at his desk in his room while leaning on his door frame. He gave him a mischievous smile "Hey Microsoft Nerd, wanna a change of atmosphere?" Logan sighed, stopped typing on his laptop and looked up at Roman "What did you have in mind?"

      "Well, I thought that maybe you could grab your car keys, a bathing suit (provided you own one) and we whisk Padre and Hot Topic off to the Beach!"

      Logan mulled this proposition over in his head; he had been working on his thesis for a while, he looked up at Roman and smiled "That sounds... actually quite enjoyable. I'll text them and ask if they would like to go to the beach with us." Roman raised his hand and chuckled. "No need, they're uh, actually waiting for us downstairs." Logan stood up shaking his head in amusement "I see. So you decided on this before asking me. Very well then, I will be downstairs in about 15 minutes." Roman let out a childish giggle "Ok," and bounced out of the doorway down the hall.

      Downstairs everyone waited as Logan got ready, excitedly chatting about the day ahead of them. "Now we all have sunscreen, right? We don't need any lobsters tonight." Asked Patton.

      "Do not worry Patton; I have packed everything necessary for a good beach day." Replied Logan as he walked down the stairs, holding a large tote bag, with his beach towel wrapped around his neck. Patton smiled "Great, and I have the cooler packed with goodies to nom on." The roommates worked together to pack the car and set off for their beach adventure.

      After a while of riding in silence, Roman slid in a Disney CD into the radio, when it started up everyone groaned. Roman pouted "Well, the silence was starting to bug me."  Virgil shook his head in annoyance "That's what earbuds are for Princey. Try using them." Logan nodded his head in agreement "I hate to say it, but I must agree, I can't focus on my driving with your music blaring and bouncing around." Roman turned off the music and pulled out his phone mumbling to himself "No one appreciates good music that's all." Patton let out an amused sigh and went back to watching the scenery pass by out the window.

      They continued to drive in silence. That is until...  "YELLOW PUNCH BUGGY, NO PUNCH BACK!!" Screamed Patton and punched Roman from behind in the shoulder. Roman rubbed his shoulder in pain "OW!!"

      "Did. Did you just punch Roman, Patton?" Giggled Virgil. Patton gave him an amused smile "Well yeah! A yellow Volkswagen Beetle was driving next to us!"

      "Had I known we were playing Padre, I would have gotten you ages ago. Well, since you took the first strike, I guess the game is on. You in Virgil?" Virgil let out a small sigh, "Sure, as long as you both promise not to leave bruises like the last time." They both laughed, "Agreed." The rest of the ride was in silence as everyone was on high alert, carefully keeping watch for any more Volkswagons. Logan nudged Roman's hand at a stop light and pointed. Roman smiled and leaned over the back seat. He punched Virgil in the knee yelling like Stitch "BLUE PUNCH BUGGY!" Virgil glanced up to where Roman pointed and back at him. "Gah. Point to you." Then from behind Roman, he saw a black Volkswagon. He smiled at Roman and leaned forward, Roman's eyes went wide, and he looked in the direction Virgil was looking in and knew what was going to happen, but before Virgil could punch him "Black punch buggy, no punch back!" laughed Patton as he punched Virgil in the arm. Roman let out a sigh of relief knowing it was Virgil who got the blow and not him.

      Logan let out a laugh "And with that Patton wins, as we have arrived at the beach. Game over."   He turned into the Beach parking lot and parked near the boardwalk.

      The four piled out of Logan's car, Virgil stretched and popped his back "Finally!". Patton gave a big smile and inhaled deeply "Mmm, smell that Ocean Breeze. Roman gazed out at the waves, "Breathtaking." Logan stretched and surveyed the beach; he points off to their left "That looks like the most optimal spot would be over there. We'll be able to see the car, and we'll also be close to the restrooms and water."

      "Not to mention in good view of the lifeguards," said Roman.

      They unloaded the car and set out for Logan's spot. Once they were all set up, Patton held up a bottle of sunscreen, "Who's first for sunscreen?!"

      Virgil sat down under the umbrella "Uh, I don't plan on stepping out into the sun. So I'm good." Patton looked down at him with his (as they so fondly named it) Dad look. Virgil rolled his eyes "Ughhhh fine."

      Logan pushed his glasses up on his nose and looked at Virgil "You know Virgil, even though you're shielded from the suns rays by the umbrella, the sun off the ocean can still affect you." Virgil was about to give Logan a snide comment, but two young women approach them. Both were holding a small stack of papers in their hand. The shortest of the two walked up to Roman and handed him one.

       "Hi, my name's Nelly, and this is my teammate Kara. We're from the Orlando Swim team, and we're holding a Sand Castle Contest. Judging is at Sunset, and the first place winner will receive $20,000 and a family pass to Walt Disney World, 2nd place will receive $10,000, third place will receive $5,000, and honorable mention will receive a family pass to a restaurant of their choosing. We hope you'll join in."

      Patton looked over Roman's shoulder and smiled at the girls "You bet! Thanks for the heads up." The girls smiled and walked away. Patton snatched the flyer from Roman looking at it. "OH MY GOSH RO WE HAVE TO DO THIS!! We're gonna have so much fun!"

    "I concur, what say ye gents, shall we join in the festivities of Sand Castles?" asked Roman with his hand on Patton's shoulder. Virgil let out a sigh "Welp; there go my plans of hiding under an umbrella. Logan, you in?" Logan smiled "Well, I do have my sketch pad with so we could come up with a game plan." Patton jumped up and down with excitement "YAY!! I know we'll come up with something amazing!"

      Roman surveyed the sand in front of them "How big should we go? I was thinking about something that maybe kids could go into?"

      Logan took out his sketch pad and stood next to Roman trying to imagine what he may be seeing; he then started to draw "Hmm, That may be difficult, however, if we added some support here like this and maybe..." Virgil came up behind Logan and gently moved him back into a sitting position under the umbrella. Then Roman and Patton joined him as they leaned over watching him draw.

      "That looks like a great start Logan. I'm going to go and start making the mud." Said Patton. Logan nodded his head, "Remember one pail of water to eight pails of sand!" Patton waved his hand to show he heard him. Virgil grabbed a huge brimmed hat from his backpack "I'm gonna go help him." and he walked over to where Patton was gathering the sand.

     Roman grabbed a pail "And while your drawing and their making mud, I shall go and look for some seashells along with some driftwood. In the rules, it says that we're allowed to use the driftwood for decoration only. How long do you think you'll be drawing up the plans? So I'm back in time to help build."

     Logan looked up at Roman, then to the sand where they were going to build and back at his pad "uh, I should be done in about fifteen minutes at the most. Before you go, could you relay that to Virgil and Patton for me please." Roman gave him a two-fingered salute "Will do" and headed off in the direction of Virgil and Patton.

      While Logan drew, a Volley Ball struck him in the back of his head, knocking his glasses off into the sand. He swore in pain and then fumbled around in the sand trying to locate his glasses. He heard someone running up to him; he couldn't see who they were. "I am so soooo sorry. Are you ok?" Came a young male voice. Logan let out a frustrated grunt "It's quite alright I was more shocked than hurt, but it seems though that my glasses have flown farther than expected."

      "Oh here, let me get them." a quick moment passed, and Logan felt a hand touch him, the hand turned his hand palm up, and he felt his glasses being placed into his palm "Here ya go." Logan gripped his glasses and put them on. The owner of the voice and his surroundings came into view "Thanks. Please be more careful next time." The young man nodded his head "Will do, my name's Thomas by the way. " He held out his hand; Logan took it and shook Thomas's hand to be polite "Logan."

       Behind them, another male voice called out. "Hey Thomas!, Stop flirting and come finish this game!" Thomas let out a nervous laugh "Uh, I gotta go. Uhm, maybe later, you and your friends can come and join us for a round of Volley Ball?"

      Logan looked at Thomas's friends and then back at the empty beach, "Thanks, but no. We entered the sand castle contest and well my one friend has big plans so that we may be at it all day." Thomas shrugged his shoulders. "Well, the offer still stands if you finish early. Bye!"

      Just as Thomas met back up with his friends, Roman walked up to Logan with his hands full of driftwood. "Who was that?" as he got close.

       "His name is Thomas. He suggested a game of Volley Ball later. I told him we might not be able to join him, as we're already committed to this contest and yet he still insists that should we finish early we should play at least one round with them.  I, however, won't participate as you know I'm more of a cross-country runner and not a ballplayer, but if you and the others would like to play a game with them, that's up to you three." He sat back down under the umbrella and finished working on his sketch.

      Roman looked in the direction of the game "Uhm they're a four-person team specs. You would either have to join in or force one of their team to sit out, but I wouldn't worry about it. That won't be for a while; we can figure things out at that time. If there's still time to play. You about ready?"

      Logan held up his drawing for Roman to look at; he was amazed how each page was detailed and thought out on how they were to build the castle. He smiled down at Logan "Do you think we could move in after we build this?" Virgil walked up behind Roman and snagged the sketch pad from him "Let me see." he flipped through the pages "This looks really cool. Hey, Patton get a load of what Logan drew!"

      Patton ran up to join his friends Virgil handed him the sketch pad "OH MY GOSH!!!!! It's amazing!!" Logan stood up and took his sketch pad back from Patton. "I'm glad you all approve. Let's start by marking out the walls."

      "uh-oh" interrupted Patton. His eyes narrowed as he looked past his friends. Virgil gave him a concerned look "What's wrong Patton?" he asked. Patton raised his hand and pointed past Logan, they all looked to see what he was pointing at "It's Devleon and his band of miscreants."

      Logan rolled his eyes at the sight of them; he turned back to his friends "We are all adults here. If they try to do something, we'll just report them." He clapped his hands to get their attention "That being said, we'll just stay a bit more vigilant so that we're ready, should they try to and do something."

      Roman put his hand into the middle of their group "All for one!" the other's caught on to his reference and put their hands in "And one for all!"

      Logan smiled at his friends "Ok, let's get to work, as I was saying before we should mark out where the walls will go. We can use these four pieces of driftwood to mark out the four corners to the castle."

      Virgil pointed over his shoulder with his thumb "We have four pails of mud filled to start the walls with, maybe we could do a fire line to move it faster?" Logan nodded his head "That's an excellent idea."

      They spent the next 2 hours working tirelessly on their castle, the base of the castle was finally complete. "ROMAN HEADS UP! INCOMING!" Yelled Patton from his side of the castle. A volleyball was flying fast towards Roman's side of the castle walls.

      Before Roman could even react, Virgil quickly snagged the volleyball in midair before it could hit. "Nice catch Hot Topic. That was a close one." complimented Roman as he helped Virgil up.

      The four friends looked around for the owner of the ball to appear. Just as they figured, it was Devleon "Hey coon face, Toss the ball back over!" he yelled at Virgil.

       "After you apologize to my friends and I and promise to be more careful," exclaimed Virgil.

       Devleon Shrugs his shoulders "I'm sorry the ball got away, but I can't promise it won't happen again. I can't control where the ball flies when we hit it." He gave them a malicious grin.

           Virgil shook his head and chucked the ball back as hard as he could. Devleon caught the ball "Ya call that a throw?" he teased and turned back to his game.

           Thomas walked up to them holding a tray of drinks "Looks like you all could use a refreshment after that encounter." The four took a drink from the tray and thanked him in their own way. "If ya want, I could stand guard for ya while you work on your castle."

           Logan smiled at him "That's really kind of you Thomas. We wouldn't be keeping you from your friends would we?" Thomas shook his head "Nah, they all went to work." The four friends chatted for a few with Thomas about the castle, then got back to work.

           Thomas watched Devleon and his friends play Volley Ball, the ball did fly their way a few more times, but with each attack, Thomas caught the ball and tossed returned it. Three hours passed, Thomas walked up to Logan "It's been about a half hour, and nothing's flown this way. I think they may have given up, which is good, cause I have to split soon. I have work in a few minutes." Logan looked at him dismayed "You should have mentioned something sooner. No need being late to work, because of us."      

           Thomas laughed "No worries, my jobs right there." He pointed over to the lifeguard tower.  "Take it easy! Peace out!" He ran off giving them a peace sign as he ran towards the tower.

           "Bye Thomas!" Called out Patton and Roman. Virgil waived "Peace out to you to Thomas! Thanks!"

           "Alright, now all we have to do is decorate," said Roman, he handed each of his friends a pail with seashells and small bits of driftwood and seaweed. It only took them fifteen minutes to decorate, when they finished, they stepped back and admired their work.

           "I'll go and find the Judges!" Exclaimed Patton. "I'll come with you" Virgil offered, and the two ran off together. "While they're gone, I'll take this side, and you take the other side so we can defend the castle from Devleon. Just in the off chance him and his friends try any more tricks, now that we're down in manpower.

           Logan nodded his head in agreement "Good idea Roman." he took off to guard his side. A few moments passed, and Patton walked up to Roman.  

           "Judging will begin in two hours; the judges say that we're 6th on their list." He looked around "Where's Logan and Virgil?"

           "Logan's on the other side of the castle keeping a lookout for Devleon. As for Virgil? I thought he was with you." replied Roman.

           "He was, but since I needed to use the restroom, he said he'd head back here without me."

           "Knowing him, he probably went to get more food for us on the boardwalk. Let's give him some time before we worry."

           Patton looked back the way he had come "Ok...."

           A half hour goes by when a teen walks up to Roman. "Hey, are you Roman?" he asks.

           "Yea, who are you?"

           "Jack. Some dude in a yellow bandanna asked me to give this to you." He hands Roman a piece of paper and walks away "Deuces!"

           Roman reads the note and turns pale "We gotta go, now." he exclaims, crumpling the note into his pocket.

           "What's up?" asked Patton, looking worried.

           "They took Virgil. He's in trouble, grab Logan and catch up." He took off running. Instead of running to Logan he called out to him.

           "LOGAN! SHAKE A LEG! VIRGE NEEDS US!" Logan came running around the corner of the castle to see his friends running away. It didn't take him long to catch up.

           "What's going on?" He asked, trying to keep up.

           "Devleon has Virgil...an.. and he's going to... to throw him in the Ocean... If...if we don't surrender our castle over to him," replied Roman between gasps of air as he ran.

           "Well, he...He can just sw..swim to shore," said Patton.

           "He can't swim." Gasped Roman "He didn't want you two to know." Patton's feet gained more speed after hearing that.

           Logan reached the Jet Ski Rentals before the other two "Two Jet Ski's please."  The owner eyed him "That'll be a hundred dollar deposit." Logan pulled out his wallet. "Here hold my Credit Card. We're in a hurry. A life is at stake."

           the owner raised an eyebrow at him "What?" Roman slammed his fist on the counter "Just call the damn cops AND GIVE US THE KEYS!!" he demanded. Wide-eyed the owner handed him two sets of keys with the numbers 8 & 9 on them. They ran to the Jet Ski's and hopped on, Logan with Patton, Roman alone and headed off to find Devleon's boat.

*On Devleon's boat*

           Devleon watched the shoreline through his binoculars, with Virgil tied to his boat with a cloth bag over his head. Virgil struggled to get free as he walked up to him. Devleon removed the bag and looked Virgil in the eyes.

           "Sorry about that, my friends got carried away. You know you really shouldn't struggle next time. Just let the kidnapping happen." Virgil looked around at his surroundings; when he realized he was on a boat, he started to panic. "What the heck man?!" he exclaimed, "I thought we were chill! Take me back to shore and let me off, I.."

           Devleon cut him off. "How about... no. I gave your friends a choice. Either you or your castle, so it's their choice, not yours." he went back to looking out at the water with his binoculars.

           "They're not going to come for me; they'll just call the cops on you and have you charged with kidnapping. Now take me back to shore, and ya know what, we'll just forget the whole thing went down. Are you even listening to me?"

           Devleon smiled as he saw Virgil's friends arriving on their jet ski's. He turned around and started to untie Virgil. "Seems your wrong, coon. Look for yourself." he handed Virgil his binoculars and pointed in the direction he had seen his friends. Virgil cautiously stood up and looked through the binoculars "I can't believe it, they’re actually trying to save me?"

           "You wanted off?" Devleon giggled "Well, off you get." Virgil turned around to tell Devleon he couldn't swim, but it was too late. Devleon hit the gas pedal, and the boat engines roared, and lurched forward, the force of the boat taking off sent Virgil flying backwards off the boat hitting his head into the water.

           "VIRGIL!" screamed his three friends as they watched him go under the water.

@thatsthat24 @thejoanglebook @tallykat3 @oresawesome @immacrazyfangirl @anxietystatement @bunny222 @wooflesthatwoof @wicked-rosie @tsfanart @anxiousangelvirgil @iris-sanders-athena @randomslasher @youtuberswithalex @just-an-anxious-mess @ts-storytime @lilkrazykat

[dataanxiety]

Wikipedia summarily blocked him. Have a look at the discussion. It is depressing. Charles says this, which is correct:

In my personal experience as a Wikipedian, I can't write anything without being attacked by a cabal of editors. At the present time, a Ph.D. virologist (who has done gain of function research on human pathogens) has initiated a process to ban me. So far, he has 100% support from other editors.

Let's refer to that Ph.D. virologist of conern as "Secret Thinker". He's kind of cute, kind of creepy! Have a look see.

Charles sourced all of the following. The Wikipedia tribunal's response was "Why haven't we blocked this person yet?"

Concerning that particular User's [Secret Thinker] Ph.D. thesis: Do you understand the consequences of doing Zika Gain of Function (GoF) research in an academic lab with little physical security and having someone walk out with the virus? We are now aware that the sequence data dumped by Wuhan on our database has contaminants of Nipah virus (70% fatal) in a genetic engineering vector. Remember ELE (Extinction Level Event) from the movie? This is no movie. The virologists are totally out of control and represent an existential threat to humanity. WP is contributing to this effort by defaming people like me as pseudoscientists, conspiracy theorists, and debunked people. Unlike nuclear weapons and MAD, a single virologist is all it takes. Thank God DARPA funded Moderna early.

Yes, it was published on arXiv, a pre-print server, Nipah virus vector sequences in COVID-19 patient samples sequenced by the Wuhan Institute of Virology

Nipah is real. And deadly. The BBC concurs with Charles. How bats could cause the next pandemic: The other virus that worries Asia, January 2021:

The death rate for Nipah virus is up to 75% and it has no vaccine. While the world focuses on Covid-19, scientists are working hard to ensure it doesn't cause the next pandemic.

[lovelyhan]

— meet cute of the century (a teaser) ⟢

the last thing you expected when you volunteered at your city’s local animal shelter is to meet the hottest, clumsiest cat person in the world. now if only he’d just adopt one of them so you’d stop ogling him every time he drops by.

★ FEATURING; wonwoo x reader

★ WORD COUNT; 1.7k words

★ TAGS; meet cute, strangers to lovers, pining, some angst, smut (though this teaser is completely sfw!)

★ TAGS; mentions of accidents but it's not given much detail

★ NOTES; i'm back with my low quality wonwoo bf pics for my teaser headers hehe i am soooo excited to write the rest for this! honestly didn't think the teaser would end up this long but here we are :3c little heads up that some parts of this teaser could change in the full story, but nothing major plot-wise will be taken out. hope you like it!

this is part of the doting on you! series.

There are a handful of things that a college student can do with their free time. Studying, hanging out with friends, and maybe even picking up a hobby of sorts. You, on the other hand, use up all the hours you’re not spending on your undergrad thesis or sleeping the day away at an animal shelter just a few minutes away from your apartment. 

Your friends constantly wonder how you’re still able to maintain a remarkable GPA with a part-time job that’s starting to look full-time, but you just laugh their questions off for the most part—saying that other people have got it worse than you, but can still perform leagues better academically. 

You also tell them that most of your motivation comes from all the unadopted animals from the shelter. You started as a volunteer just to kill time on weekends when you’re free, but even if you knew better than to get attached to all those adorable faces, you eventually found yourself on the part-time employee roster anyways. 

Now you’re rushing to finish your degree so you can get a neat sugar mommy job that’ll let you afford to adopt everyone that’s been stuck in the shelter for nearly a year or more.

Okay, maybe not everyone because you’re no fool with a savior complex. But just enough to give a few furry friends a new home, right?

“Don’t look now,” your coworker, Mari whispers conspiratorially while you’re in the middle of snacking in the break room, “but that cutie you’ve been crushing on just walked inside. He’s checking out the cats out in the playroom as usual.”

Right. Apart from your altruistic dream of adopting as many animals as your financial capabilities can allow, there’s another reason you’re always looking forward to your shifts at the shelter. A reason that you’re a bit too embarrassed to let your friends know about.

You nearly choke on a potato chip when Mari breaks the news and she immediately laughs in your face. Glaring at her, you compose yourself with a long gulp of water before saying, “I do not have a crush on him.”

“Sure,” she plays along. “If you consider making googly eyes at the guy every time he drops by as ‘not having a crush on him’, then I’ll concur.” 

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t, sweetheart. Now get out there and sweet talk him into take one of the kittens home! Pretty sure he wants one if he’s been showing up as much as he did for the last two months.” 

While you would’ve argued that the so-called cutie you’ve been crushing on could just like seeing the cats play around in his free time, you don’t really have much energy to play mental gymnastics with Mari. You’ve had a long day of revisions and other nonsense materials you have to submit for your majors, so you’ll let this one slide.

Your workplace is as bleak as every other shelter you’ve seen a few times in your life. Gray walls, concrete floors, and steel cages stacked on top of each other. It looks more like a prison than anything, really, but it’s the staff and those kind-hearted souls who rehome animals that have long been abandoned that give the entire place some life.

While Mister Cutie That You’ve Been Quote-Unquote Crushing On doesn’t exactly fall into either of those categories, you like to think he still leaves the building just a touch colorful once he walks out of the front door. 

Speaking of color, he’s wearing a loose, dark green shirt that falls just below his elbows. Cutie—as you’ve deigned to call him not because you think he’s cute but because you’re yet to get his name—has one palm flattened across the viewing glass of the playroom. He’s wearing his usual black face mask today, but from the way his eyes glint behind his glasses, you’re just going to assume he’s having a good time just by watching the cats frolic inside.

“You’re here pretty late,” you state nonchalantly before standing a few feet away from him. 

“Is that so strange?” he murmurs with a chuckle, surprisingly not startled with your sudden entrance before glancing your way. “I always show up here at this hour, don’t I?”

God. No matter how many times you hear his voice, you just can’t get over how deep it is. But before any of your thoughts could show on your face, you get talking.

“True. You’ve sparked a debate among the volunteers about your line of work, actually.” Not exactly. You’re not sure if any of the volunteers have even seen this guy, since they mostly work day shifts. “Anyway, are you just here to check ‘em out or am I finally going to hand you the adoption papers?”

His eyes crinkle a bit before he shifts his gaze towards the playroom again. Most of the older cats have already been put back in their respective cages. All that’s left inside are the kittens with way too much energy to spare. The director, A.K.A., your boss, believes that it’s best to tire them out first before settling them into individual enclosures for the night. Keeps the place nice and quiet for the evening shift fellows like yourself.

“Not yet, sadly,” Cutie says with a sigh before pointing at one of the kittens huddled up in a corner. “That one’s new, isn’t it? I don’t think I’ve seen him around before.” 

“Her,” you correct. “Her name’s Hani. She’s a stray that someone from the university I’m attending brought in last week. It was pretty ugly, actually. Poor thing got into an accident and was bleeding everywhere. Good thing our usual vet was paying a visit when they came here.”

“Oh? That’s a relief then. No wonder she’s got a little limp every time she walks around,” he observes with a saddened tone. “But I digress. You mentioned you were attending university?”

…Okay, why’d the topic of interest suddenly shift to you? 

But since it’s a harmless enough question, you reply with, “Yeah. The one that’s just a few blocks away. It’s kinda why the person who found Hani brought her here instead of a vet clinic. The nearest one’s like half an hour away.”

“Good call, good call.” He nods with a look of understanding. “I hope someone comes and adopts her. She deserves all the love she can get. Well, everyone here does of course.” 

You flash him a conniving smile, raising your brows a few times. “You could give that to her.”

Cutie shakes his head with another low-pitched laugh. “As much as I’d love to, my…living conditions won’t be suitable for her at all. Or any of the other animals for the matter.”

“Hm?” You stare at him curiously. “Your landlord doesn’t allow pets or something?”

“Mmm… Not exactly.”

The conversation pretty much ends there. Cutie excuses himself—saying that someone is waiting for him at home. You don’t know why your heart deflates a little at the very real possibility that he has a significant other. Then again, if you’re this whipped when you haven’t even seen his face, you could only imagine how easy it would be for him to settle down with someone who has.

Either way, it’s none of your business. And correction: you’re not whipped. Just…hyper aware of his presence every time he stops by.

Despite the fact that you’re dead-set on filing away this strange fascination you have for the guy, however…

“Wait!”

Cutie turns around to face you with an inquisitive look. “Yes?”

You swallow thickly, deciding to just bite the bullet before your nerves get the best of you. “What’s your name? I can’t keep calling you Cu—I mean, Glasses Guy in my head whenever you pay us a visit.”

He blinks for a few seconds, obviously nonplussed by your forwardness but you don’t think your pride can take it anymore if you had to refer to him as—

“You can call me Woo,” he says warmly and you can almost see the smile that stretches behind that black face mask.

Shit. Did your heart just stutter?

“Mister Woo—”

“Just Woo is fine.”

“Okay, Woo,” you start, kind of liking the way that something that’s obviously a nickname rolls off the tongue, “just let me know if you ever want to take Hani home. We’re open twenty four-seven, as you already know.”

He nods. “Sure thing. Is it okay if I can get your number for that?”

Now you have to fight the urge to scowl at him after he’s been so nice to you all night—and every other night he’s dropped by. 

This guy isn’t flirting with you. He said it himself—someone’s waiting for him at home! Plus, he’s expressed consistent interest in adopting a kitten for himself a handful of times before. Maybe he just connected with Hani on a level that’s above the others. Enough to ask for your number since the possibility of him bringing one of these angels home is becoming more and more real. 

Yeah, that’s definitely the reason!

So you give it to him—hastily scrawled behind an old flier gathering dust in one of the drawers on the front desk. It’s way too big to write just yours and the shelter’s contact details on, but the other calling cards are nowhere in sight. You’ll have to ask Mari if she’s seen them once—

“Thanks. I’ll keep in touch,” Woo tells you while folding the sheet of paper into a sleek black Louis Vuitton wallet.

Wait a minute.

Before you can even seriously ponder about what job he’s got to be able to afford that, Woo is already out of the door—heading into the evening streets without once looking back. 

“Gosh, I swear that guy’s an idol in disguise or something.”

That’s the first thing that Mari tells you when you find her doing a few rounds among the sleeping dogs in the far back. You haven’t even spoken a single word about your most recent exchange. 

“What makes you think that?” 

“He just exudes idol vibes, y’know? Shows up here when the place is deserted. Always acts subtle and inconspicuous. Oh and not to mention how hot he looks even with a face mask on! He could be that one idol your little sister is crazy about.” 

You roll your eyes at her odd ways of deduction. “Mari, I’ve seen enough of Haewon’s Mingyu merch to last a lifetime and Woo definitely does not look like him.”

“Oh?” Your coworker perks up with a mischievous smile. “You finally got his name, huh?”

God. This is going to be a long shift.

want to be included in the taglist? send me an ask!

[khaelisfics]

shredsandpatches replied to your post:

The most fun paper I ever wrote was about DT's Richard. DT liked it, too, I have it on the very best authority. ;) The first page or so was about his hair and reactions to it!

(also, Nigel Saul's bio devotes a whole chapter to arguing that Shakespeare basically got his personality right and I concur)

Haha, that must have been so cool to write about! I wish I could, too, and I probably would if it were my thesis tutor reading that - unfortunately this paper is going to be marked by someone I don’t know and I wouldn’t dare write a whole page on DT’s hair, hehe! :)

Oh, I do use Saul a little, though this paper is mostly focussed on historical facts - and I start by saying that 16th century historiography isn’t entirely reliable anyway, so Shakespeare basically did whatever he wanted, and in doing so was actually one of the first to change the meaning of historiography by mixing poetry with History (Racken and Holderness support that argument).

But regarding Richard II’s personality in Shakespeare, it was indeed mostly right, though some elements differed a bit (especially since Shakespeare’s sources, and yes I’m looking at you Hall and Daniel, were fervent anti-Ricardian, being Tudor supporters and all).

What I like the most about DT’s performance is the shift in his personality that occurs in III-2 - which is a perfect representation of the assumption that RII was actually schizophrenic. 

But yeah, hum, don’t get me started on Shakespeare and Richard II, I could go on for hours, hehe! :) Thank you for your message! 

[essayonashorthistoryof112]

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[thefactsaboutventurecapitalistde]

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It is an honour and an opportunity to fulfill such skilled individuals. Constantly, it's a hard option to select which of the hundreds we will fund. There is an abundance of info online now about how to approach venture capital funds & venture capitalists and also what to say, there are basic guidelines, and there are ones specific to the fund you are talking to.

Many business owners seek the silver bullet. There is none. However, I will discuss some things we look for. In an early stage start-up, there is really little 'difficult' data to go on. Group. You will hear this all over. We back individuals most importantly. Market size. You need to be dealing with a big market.

What have you attained up until now, what does it tell you? Profits Design. Time to break even. Preferably, you ought to be disruptive. Product. Ingenious and defensible. Clear articulation of how you will get and keep clients. Know all your numbers. Enthusiasm. Something that can not be faked. Sincerity. Never ever lie or extend the truth.

4 Simple Techniques For Venture Capitalist London

Motivation. Why are you doing this, what have you compromised to do this and for how long can you keep opting for? Can you construct things? Can you actively 'do'. For financiers, it is as much about getting to know you and 'de-risking' you as it is about your startup. It is crucial to carefully research any VC firm prior to approaching it for funds.

VCs provide a assistance network and monetary capital for early-stage companies generally high-risk companies but with scope for comprehensive growth. Investments are frequently made in high-technology companies specialising in pure technology or life sciences. VC firms do not respond well to cold calling you will need to select advisors to function as an intermediary and make intros on your behalf and schedule you to pitch for investment.

A sleek, in-depth discussion venture capital file is vital. Getting VC financial investment is by no methods guaranteed the huge bulk of financing proposals put in the past investor are turned down. As soon as you have actually protected the opportunity to pitch your organisation to VCs, this is your time to truly shine. You might know exactly why your organisation is outstanding, however that doesn't suggest that VCs will, and there's no reason to recommend that your company won't seem very comparable to a myriad of other business unless you show what makes it exceptional.

An Unbiased View of Venture Capital Advantages

Show them that you are familiar with your competitors and reveal how you can stand out from them to show that you are major about the future of your endeavor. To get VCs excited about the potential of your service, come equipped with details of similar organisations in your market that have actually exited.

Show them that you are conscious of how they work and what business they have purchased. This will inform VCs that you have targeted them for a factor while making the effort to speak with portfolio business will likewise offer you the chance to learn how much worth the financier can truly add and what support you can anticipate moving forward.

However it's not all about facts and figures. Eventually VCs will need to think in you as a person, as they require to trust you to make good use of their cash. Prove to them that you have a wonderful service strategy, supported by key gamers in the field and a real passion for your business and you will begin to see VCs taking note.

Examine This Report about Venture Capital Jobs

If you wind up receiving venture capital financing consider it a collaboration and not merely a financial investment. These are individuals with whom you will have to work closely over a number of years, so it is important that you do your research study and develop whether you feel they will be matched to support you on your service journey.

This capability to encourage other, trustworthy people to take a risk and deal with your startup will be one of the most engaging reasons financiers will wish to back you. If you get the group right, the cash will follow, so keep in mind that the 'pitch' to brand-new board members and workers is just as important as the pitch to financiers.

They ended up concurring on a handle LDC, a venture capital firm, which invested 12 million in business in return for a 60% equity share. John Dundon, Angel Springs Managing Director, described the thinking behind the deal: "LDC offer us financial resources and strength and likewise rather a strong structure and structure to work to. For example, patterns such as "the shift to mobile" or "social media", and so on. This has to do with recognizing styles and spreading your bets throughout numerous business that will be exposed to those trends in a favorable method. Thesis driven investing is more narrowly focused, and included trying to examine where a particular sub-sector is going.

The Single Strategy To Use For Venture Capital London

Choosing the ideal start-up to work for is a hard job - often you'll have to give up a higher wage for other benefits that may come much later (if you are approved equity) or be intangible (operating at a quick rate company, more responsability, fun). Below are a couple of concerns you must think about asking the CEO of the startup before registering with your new job.

There is more money in Europe for start-up founders to tap into than ever before but that doesn't indicate it's all money that they must take. For early-stage creators in Europe (at seed and Series A) it's often hard to know where to turn and how to tell an excellent venture capital firm from a less great venture capital firm.

Advertisment (P.S We like feedback and this list will be upgraded in a few weeks. Who've we missed? Who should not be on there? Email us at [email protected] and [email protected] or comment listed below) Kindred Capital's partners: Mark Evans, Chrysanthos Chrysanthou, Leila Rastegar Zegna, Russell Buckley Established in 2015, Kindred Capital is differentiating itself from the pack by pioneering "equitable financial investment" in Europe.

Get This Report about Venture Capital Meaning

The concept is that this incentivises portfolio companies to assist one another out. Get the Sifted Newsletter Thank you for signing up for the newsletter! The key person to watch out for at Kindred is Russell Buckley, its founding partner. Buckley cofounded mobile advertisement business Admob in 2006, which later on offered to Google for $750m, and is an angel financier when he's not running Kindred.

Generalist. Mark Goldberg, Shardul Shah, Sarah Cannon, Danny Rimer and Mike Volpi in San Francisco As one of the UK's oldest venture capital funds, Index Ventures has the rare advantage of over twenty years experience. It was cofounded by Neil Rimer in Geneva in 1996, back when 'venture capital' was still a new term outside the United States.

It's invested in unicorns such as BlaBlaCar, TransferWise, Deliveroo and Revolut. As one of the heavyweights of Europe's VC scene, Index gets included in a great deal of huge, distinctive offers, however it does not shy away from seed and Series A rounds. And by many accounts, it is among the finest.

How Venture Capitalist Disadvantages can Save You Time, Stress, and Money.

They have a few big names on their team, such as Martin Mignot, Jan Hammer and Danny Rimer, but it's a high-grade team all round. Their website information who is who and what each financier specialises in. Most current fund size: $1bn (July 2018) Focus: Invests throughout the US and Europe in startups from seed to endeavor to growth.

Eileen Burbidge, partner at Enthusiasm Capital, at TechCrunch Disrupt London 2015. Photo by John Phillips for TechCrunch. Enthusiasm Capital has funded 70 early-stage tech startups, backing over 100 creators who have actually grown their groups to include over 1,000 employee. It has actually made a virtue of openness, pushing efforts like a ' Plain English Term Sheet' and making its investment terms public.

Most current fund size: 45m (2015) Focus: Early-stage tech. Suranga Chandratillake, partner at Balderton. Balderton may be one of the most significant names in European venture capital but it has Californian roots. It was founded in 2000 by Benchmark, one of Silicon Valley's top VC, under the name Standard Capital Europe, before introducing as Balderton Capital in 2007.

The Buzz on Venture Capital Company

Venture Capital Meaning Things To Know Before You Get This

It likewise has an enormous presence in the UK. By particular procedures, it is the most active fund of the lot. It just recently came very first location in Dealroom's ranking of the most active UK-based venture capital funds at Series A, having actually led 17 rounds between 2014 and 2018. Balderton is now led by Bernard Liautaud, who participated in 2008 simply after the fund ended up being totally independent from Benchmark.

Another essential name to understand is Suranga Chandratillake, who has actually been a general partner given that 2014. Prior to Balderton he was primary executive at search engine Blinkx, which was taken public in 2007, and which he founded and led for 8 years. Latest fund size: $400m ( November 2019) Focus: Invests in start-ups at Series A.

Find out more: European VC firm Balderton's heavy hitters First Minute Capital cofounders, Spencer Crawley and Brent Hoberman. First Minute Capital is one of the lots of startup-related ventures dreamt up by Brent Hoberman, one of the best-known figures in the world of UK startups. He initially became understood for cofounding lastminute.com, an online travel website that became a unicorn in the early noughties, back when unicorns were in fact uncommon.

Everything about Venture Capitalist London

In 2017 Hoberman teamed up with http://query.nytimes.com/search/sitesearch/?action=click&contentCollection&region=TopBar&WT.nav=searchWidget&module=SearchSubmit&pgtype=Homepage#/venture capital Spencer

[venturecapitalbusinessdefinition]

8 Easy Facts About Venture Capital Jobs Explained

The Greatest Guide To Venture Capital Meaning

Table of ContentsThe Greatest Guide To Venture Capital InvestmentWhat Does Venture Capital Company Do?Getting My Venture Capitalist Uk To WorkVenture Capital Jobs London - The FactsThe Only Guide to Venture Capitalist FirmsWhat Does Venture Capitalist Internship Do?Not known Details About Venture Capital What Is About Venture Capital InternshipGet This Report on Venture Capital What IsFascination About Venture Capital LondonAll about Venture Capitalist DefinitionRumored Buzz on Venture Capital Fund

Contact/Apply: All information listed on their contact page. M8 Capital is a London Based VC company that purchases Seed (SEIS), Early and Later Phase investment along with personal equity investment for the mobile market. Area: London, England Targeting: UK Investment Level: Quantity on application up to $4,000,000 Portfolio Business: Evernote, Masabi you can see the list of all companies on their site by clicking the 'next business' button on the left-hand side of the column.

You can send an E-Mail to them. VC financial investment is best fit to business owners running high possible growth services who enjoy to give up some control and accept a smaller piece of pie in the hope that the ultimate pie will be much larger than they could have achieved on their own.

Venture capitalist Jon Moulton, for example, famously declines to purchase any organisation run by somebody who has actually been separated more than as soon as, on the grounds that their complex private lives will be too much of a distraction to building a successful business. It is essential that you approach the growth of your company reasonably, as not all businesses appropriate for VC funding.

What Does Venture Capitalist Advantages Mean?

If you see there is the prospective to grow a company to be worth in excess of 100million, then VC funding is for you. But keep in mind: extremely few services have this remarkable capacity, and there is a huge variety of alternative funding paths available to fit all various types of service, consisting of crowdfunding sites and angel financial investment networks.

The Basic Principles Of Venture Capitalist Uk

Along with this fact, many VCs can bring invaluable skills and proficiency to your business and offer beneficial organisation contacts. Along with giving up equity, you will need to be prepared to lose some control over your service. While the VC investment team will not be associated with the daily running of your business, 99% of the time they will select somebody to be a member of your board and will anticipate to be involved in the tactical instructions of the company.

VC firms are usually thinking about investing between 800,000 and 5 million in a service, although some early phase funds will think about investments of 250,000 and up. Different firms adopt various investment criteria, some specialising in particular stages of growth start-up, early stage, later phase and others in different market sectors (our list listed below contains early, mid and late stage VC funds).

Examine This Report on Venture Capital Advantages

It is an honour and an opportunity to fulfill such skilled individuals. Constantly, it's a hard option to select which of the hundreds we will fund. There is an abundance of info online now about how to approach venture capital funds & venture capitalists and also what to say, there are basic guidelines, and there are ones specific to the fund you are talking to.

Many business owners seek the silver bullet. There is none. However, I will discuss some things we look for. In an early stage start-up, there is really little 'difficult' data to go on. Group. You will hear this all over. We back individuals most importantly. Market size. You need to be dealing with a big market.

What have you attained up until now, what does it tell you? Profits Design. Time to break even. Preferably, you ought to be disruptive. Product. Ingenious and defensible. Clear articulation of how you will get and keep clients. Know all your numbers. Enthusiasm. Something that can not be faked. Sincerity. Never ever lie or extend the truth.

4 Simple Techniques For Venture Capitalist London

Motivation. Why are you doing this, what have you compromised to do this and for how long can you keep opting for? Can you construct things? Can you actively 'do'. For financiers, it is as much about getting to know you and 'de-risking' you as it is about your startup. It is crucial to carefully research any VC firm prior to approaching it for funds.

VCs provide a assistance network and monetary capital for early-stage companies generally high-risk companies but with scope for comprehensive growth. Investments are frequently made in high-technology companies specialising in pure technology or life sciences. VC firms do not respond well to cold calling you will need to select advisors to function as an intermediary and make intros on your behalf and schedule you to pitch for investment.

A sleek, in-depth discussion file is vital. Getting VC financial investment is by no methods guaranteed the huge bulk of financing proposals put in the past investor are turned down. As soon as you have actually protected the opportunity to pitch your organisation to VCs, this is your time to truly shine. You might know exactly why your organisation is outstanding, however that doesn't suggest that VCs will, and there's no reason to recommend that your company won't seem very comparable to a myriad of other business unless you show what makes it exceptional.

An Unbiased View of Venture Capital Advantages

Show them that you are familiar with your competitors and reveal how you can stand out from them to show that you are major about the future of your endeavor. To get VCs excited about the potential of your service, come equipped with details of similar organisations in your market that have actually exited.

Show them that you are conscious of how they work and what business they have purchased. This will inform VCs that you have targeted them for a factor while making the effort to speak with portfolio business will likewise offer you the chance to learn how much worth the financier can truly add and what support you can anticipate moving forward.

However it's not all about facts and figures. Eventually VCs will need to think in you as a person, as they require to trust you to make good use of their cash. Prove to them that you have a wonderful service strategy, supported by key gamers in the field and a real passion for your business and you will begin to see VCs taking note.

Examine This Report about Venture Capital Jobs

If you wind up receiving venture capital financing consider it a collaboration and not merely a financial investment. These are individuals with whom you will have to work closely over a number of years, so it is important that you do your research study and develop whether you feel they will be matched to support you on your service journey.

This capability to encourage other, trustworthy people to take a risk and deal with your startup will be one of the most engaging reasons financiers will wish to back you. If you get the group right, the cash will follow, so keep in mind that the 'pitch' to brand-new board members and workers is just as important as the pitch to financiers.

They ended up concurring on a handle LDC, a venture capital firm, which invested 12 million in business in return for a 60% equity share. John Dundon, Angel Springs Managing Director, described the thinking behind the deal: "LDC offer us financial resources and strength and likewise rather a strong structure and structure to work to. For example, patterns such as "the shift to mobile" or "social media", and so on. This has to do with recognizing styles and spreading your bets throughout numerous business that will be exposed to those trends in a favorable method. Thesis driven investing is more narrowly focused, and included trying to examine where a particular sub-sector is going.

The Single Strategy To Use For Venture Capital London

Choosing the ideal start-up to work for is a hard job - venture capital often you'll have to give up a higher wage for other benefits that may come much later (if you are approved equity) or be intangible (operating at a quick rate company, more responsability, fun). Below are a couple of concerns you must think about asking the CEO of the startup before registering with your new job.

There is more money in Europe for start-up founders to tap into than ever before but that doesn't indicate it's all money that they must take. For early-stage creators in Europe (at seed and Series A) it's often hard to know where to turn and how to tell an excellent venture capital firm from a less great venture capital firm.

Advertisment (P.S We like feedback and this list will be upgraded in a few weeks. Who've we missed? Who should not be on there? Email us at [email protected] and [email protected] or comment listed below) Kindred Capital's partners: Mark Evans, Chrysanthos Chrysanthou, Leila Rastegar Zegna, Russell Buckley Established in 2015, Kindred Capital is differentiating itself from the pack by pioneering "equitable financial investment" in Europe.

Get This Report about Venture Capital Meaning

The concept is that this incentivises portfolio companies to assist one another out. Get the Sifted Newsletter Thank you for signing up for the newsletter! The key person to watch out for at Kindred is Russell Buckley, its founding partner. Buckley cofounded mobile advertisement business Admob in 2006, which later on offered to Google for $750m, and is an angel financier when he's not running Kindred.

Generalist. Mark Goldberg, Shardul Shah, Sarah Cannon, Danny Rimer and Mike Volpi in San Francisco As one of the UK's oldest venture capital funds, Index Ventures has the rare advantage of over twenty years experience. It was cofounded by Neil Rimer in Geneva in 1996, back when 'venture capital' was still a new term outside the United States.

It's invested in unicorns such as BlaBlaCar, TransferWise, Deliveroo and Revolut. As one of the heavyweights of Europe's VC scene, Index gets included in a great deal of huge, distinctive offers, however it does not shy away from seed and Series A rounds. And by many accounts, it is among the finest.

How Venture Capitalist Disadvantages can Save You Time, Stress, and Money.

They have a few big names on their team, such as Martin Mignot, Jan Hammer and Danny Rimer, but it's a high-grade team all round. Their website information who is who and what each financier specialises in. Most current fund size: $1bn (July 2018) Focus: Invests throughout the US and Europe in startups from seed to endeavor to growth.

Eileen Burbidge, partner at Enthusiasm Capital, at TechCrunch Disrupt London 2015. Photo by John Phillips for TechCrunch. Enthusiasm Capital has funded 70 early-stage tech startups, backing over 100 creators who have actually grown their groups to include over 1,000 employee. It has actually made a virtue of openness, pushing efforts like a ' Plain English Term Sheet' and making its investment terms public.

Most current fund size: 45m (2015) Focus: Early-stage tech. Suranga Chandratillake, partner at Balderton. Balderton may be one of the most significant names in European venture capital but it has Californian roots. It was founded in 2000 by Benchmark, one of Silicon Valley's top VC, under the name Standard Capital Europe, before introducing as Balderton Capital in 2007.

The Buzz on Venture Capital Company

Venture Capital Meaning Things To Know Before You Get This

It likewise has an enormous presence in the UK. By particular procedures, it is the most active fund of the lot. It just recently came very first location in Dealroom's ranking of the most active UK-based venture capital funds at Series A, having actually led 17 rounds between 2014 and 2018. Balderton is now led by Bernard Liautaud, who participated in 2008 simply after the fund ended up being totally independent from Benchmark.

Another essential name to understand is Suranga Chandratillake, who has actually been a general partner given that 2014. Prior to Balderton he was primary executive at search engine Blinkx, which was taken public in 2007, and which he founded and led for 8 years. Latest fund size: $400m ( November 2019) Focus: Invests in start-ups at Series A.

Find out more: European VC firm Balderton's heavy hitters First Minute Capital cofounders, Spencer Crawley and Brent Hoberman. First Minute Capital is one of the lots of startup-related ventures dreamt up by Brent Hoberman, one of the best-known figures in the world of UK startups. He initially became understood for cofounding lastminute.com, an online travel website that became a unicorn in the early noughties, back when unicorns were in fact uncommon.

Everything about Venture Capitalist London

In 2017 Hoberman teamed up with http://www.thefreedictionary.com/venture capital Spencer

[ebenvt]

Protein Functionality, the Bind Index and the Early History of Meat Extenders in America

Eben van Tonder 10 April 2020

Introduction

In the meat industry in most parts of the world, it is customary to use non-meat ingredients in meat products, especially in comminuted sausages and lunch loaves. I know that here in Southern Africa, the indigenous tribes have been using ground peanuts (and presumably other groundnuts) as meat extenders for millennia before any European settler arrived here.

I can only imagine that this must have been the case with primitive people around the world wherever there was a shortage of meat.

Who popularised this in the West is a question that intrigued me. Off the bat, as one can imagine, these non-meat ingredients were probably introduced in countries where food scarcity was common or in times when food shortages forced humans to “stretch” the little meat they could get their hands on, such as during times of war.  In this article we briefly introduce the functionality of meat protein and ask if we can identify such a movement with the inclusion of meat extenders or replacers to pure meat in America during one of the major wars they were involved in.  The two prime candidates must surely be the two world wars and especially the second when huge food shortages were experienced in America and around the world.

The Functionality of Meat Proteins

The first question is if meat protein on its own is not sufficient to bind comminuted meat in sausages and lunch loaves.  Can a stable emulsion be formed without the use of non-meat additives such as soya isolates and concentrates and the use of different stratches either as emulsifiers or stabilisers? This includes the use of bulking agents such as rusk, which is in reality a meat extender.  This is a level of detail that I was hoping to get into a bit later in a subsequent article, but it explains my point, namely that meat proteins on their own, they have the ability to bind meat extremely well, depending on the muscle and the animal species.

Generally speaking, you will see from what follows that beef meat protein in general provides the best bind and pork, less so due to the higher fat percentage which interferes in binding, especially in emulsions.

There is a major difference between the functionality of different muscle groups in pork and even between different animals.  The sausage producer is interested in how these different proteins bind.  We therefore present the concept of a “bind constant” (functionality coefficient) that was developed to measure this and a “least-cost formulation” (linear programming) computer program to manipulate the model and minimize cost.

The man who pioneered the large-scale use of these technologies is Robert L. Saffle, during his tenure at the University of Georgia.  He did not invent any of the techniques, but was the one man responsible for propagating its use.  He also standardized their use, documented their workability and educated and encouraged processors to use it.

He was very successful at this and largely due to his work,  meat processors throughout the world recognize the word “bind” as having the basic meaning of the capability of meat to bind the sausage together. The value is referred to as the “bind constant,” “bind value” or “bind index.”

Proximate Analysis and Functional Indices of Various Meat Materials

What follows is a compilation of all meats tested by Saffle and his co-workers, in particular John A. Carpenter at the University of Georgia.  It gives the proximate analyses and average measured bind/colour indices. I included the bind index values in the first column because I wanted to show them in descending order and I separated it for different species.

Compiled by J. Carpenter, R. Saffle, H. Ockerman, Anderson & Bell and slightly modified by myself.

When you look at pork, the highest bind value is from the shoulder muscle.   The blade is from the lower shoulder.

    Blade Bone source: https://www.turnerandgeorge.co.uk/pork-blade.html

History of Meat Binding

Labudde and Lanier (1955) put a date to the recognition of when differences in binding quality between different meat cuts were recognised when they say, “It was well recognized by the 1950s that certain kinds of meats bound the comminuted sausage more tightly together than other kinds of meats.”  I wonder what my friends in Germany would say about this statement.  I believe it was recognised probably hundreds of years before the 1950s.

They accurately report on early classification of meat binding ability. “Cuts of meat were classified into gross categories, such as good binders (bull meat, cow meat), poor binders (hearts, cheeks, fat meat) and fillers (lips, tripe, stomachs)” They are correct when they state that “sufficient lean meat of good “bind” was known to be needed to make the meat paste hold together during cooking and to develop a minimum acceptable level of firmness at the end.” (Labudde and Lanier,  1995)   This is my main thesis!  The question is how and when did this change?

Dr. Francois Mellett, who was trained in Germany (did his doctorate in German) and who trained German butchers in the Master program, tells me they don’t work with startches in sausage making in Germany. At least, not when he studied there.  Another German Master Butcher, Gero Lutge tells me that his dad, who was also a master butcher, used no extenders and that it is not very common in Germany.  It was actually these two comments that set me on this journey to unravel what is going on.  The German, and I assume, Central, North and East European traditions all concur on this point in stark contrast to the rest of the world where it became the norm to use stabilizers and emulsifiers (extenders) in sausage production.

The matter becomes wonderfully complex because it addresses matters like affordability and the quality of raw material, but what a journey!

There is a personal preference that creeps in here.  I am personally not thrilled with non-meat additives to the meat I eat.  Using meat replacers and additives is something I do as a meat producer, but I am not happy about it and I try, wherever possible, to rely on equipment and its proper handling together with a thorough understanding of meat to drive our innovations and not, in the first place, reach for the handbook of non-meat extenders and substitutes.  This is a grave mistake.

 This is another personal reason for this study.  I want to be very clear in my mind on what is the best way to use equipment to allow the meat itself to do the bulk of the work.

I am a severe asthma sufferer.  A specialist asked me one day if I religiously use the best medication to keep the condition under control to which I responded in the affirmative.  To my surprise, he was not happy with that answer.  Any chemical you put in your body, no matter how serious a condition you are trying to manage, is always a bad thing.  He encouraged me to continually try and develop an alternative, more natural way of managing the condition.  He even suggested that I try to reduce my reliance on medication.  He suggested that I should determine when I can control the symptoms without medication and when I can no longer do that and I must rely more heavily on medication.  Over the years, I have headed his advice to great benefit.

Most of the additives we are talking to in the meat are natural products themselves, which is why it is allowed, but the principle remains the same.

Before anything became “industrial”, it was first used in the home and meat and meat production is a prime example.

-> Home use of Binders

As every major industry we have today, it all started in the home.  The following Q & A appeared in an American newspaper in 1950.  Mrs GRH wrote in with a question about her meat loaf that is not sticking together.

Reference:  Courier Post (Camden, New Jersey), Thu, Aug, 17, 1950

The advice from the chef is that Mrs. Mrs GRH either did not use a binder or used too little of it. The binders they suggest she should have used are thick white sauce, bread crumbs with a liquid, cooked rice and/or mashed potatoes.  They suggested “good old fashion kneading.” Lean meat, 2 pounds, is suggested and add 4 tablespoons of flour, 1½ cups of milk and 1 cup of soft bread crumbs or mashed potatoes.  They suggest two kinds of ground meat for flavour (beef and pork).  As we have learned, beef added to the pork would also enhance the binding.  Dice and fry ¼ pound of mildly salted pork till it is crisp and light brown, and add it for flavour, as show-pieces and mouth feel. The celery, onions and other seasoning is cooked in the salt pork dropping to develop the flavour.

This “home-level-technology” of binders, how long has this been part of the human cultural and technological matrix?  One will have to survey its prevalence in cookbooks since the time of the writing of the first one. I had a look at references in the “First American Cookbook” published in 1796 by Amelia Simmons.

Several interesting things catch your eye as you work through this historical document.  For starters, there are no sausages.  Second, the use of binders is used widely, especially grated bread, butter and eggs.  In her stew pie she uses a shoulder of veal, slices of raw salted pork and half a pound of butter.  It’s not our focus here but note the common use of veal.  I find the same in German cookbooks of this time.  Her turkey stuffing calls for grated wheat loaf, butter, finely chopped salted pork and eggs.  For meatballs she uses veal, grated bread, salted pork.

-> Meat Binders for Industry (presumably for sausages)

The article below testifies to the use of binders in making hamburgers

Battle Creek Enquirer (Battle Creek, Michigan), Fri, Jan 30, 1948

I am not sure exactly what the advertisement above is saying.  Is the Ground Beef Chuck the binder?  In which case they are advertising the use of a cheaper meat cut (chuck) to use for hamburger patties, which is better than using other binders (non-meat).  Either way, it shows the “hot topic” during World War II when severe food shortages impacted the world at large, including America.  More about this later.  (I assume Binders is not the surname of the well-known meat processor of this time, R. Binder Co., because as far as I can see he always spelled his name, when used in this way, with an apostrophe “s”. It could have been a typing error when the newspaper did the typesetting 🙂 )

-> List of Newspaper References with the word “meat binder”

The Second World War was from 1939 to 1945.  Severe food shortages occurred during the war, but especially towards the end.

From 1946

Reference: Marysville Journal Tribune Mon, Aug 26, 1946.

To ease the shortage of bread, they recommended housewives to substitute bread with potatoes.  This includes potatoes as binder.

Reference:  The Record Thu, Jul 11, 1946

From 1944

Reference:  The Chillicothe Constitution Tribune, Thu, Dec 7, 1944

From 1943 (two months before the start of the War)

The term “Meat Extenders” was used synonymously with “Binder”.

Reference:  Chattanooga, Daily, Times, Fri, Jun 25, 1943

Pre-1943 references to Binders

Reference: Abbeville Progress, Sat, Feb 10, 1940

There are several pre-1943 references to meat binders, but all of them refer to butchers’ twine.  The one I give above is the least clear, but it is easy to see how the reference is not to binders as we are discussing here.

From 1974

By the 1970s, meat binders were being discussed as part of the American meat landscape.  The article below is a good case in point.

Reference:  Fort Worth Star Telegram, Thu, Aug, 22, 1974

The Crucial Year of 1943

The watershed year for the introduction of meat binders and extenders into the USA seems to have been 1943.  Here is an article from that year when a group of women belonged to the Matoy Home Demonstration Club.  These clubs (also known as homemaker clubs, home bureaus or home advisory groups) were a program of the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s Cooperative Extension Service, which had the goal of teaching farm women in rural America better methods for getting their work done.  This meeting, crucially during the war, was probably arranged to introduce ways to deal with wartime food shortages.

Reference:  Durant Weekly News (Durant, Oklahoma), Fri, Jul 23, 1943

Other clubs received training on meat substitutes and extenders during the same time.  Interesting – the fact that meat extenders and substitutes were used in the same sentence.

Reference:  Duran, Weekly News, Fri, Jul 23, 1943

They held yet another club where Miss Pearl Winterveld was doing the demonstrations during this time.

Reference:  Durant Weekly News, Fri, Jul 23, 1943

Another club where Miss Pearl was doing her magic reported on their training.

Reference:  Durant Weekly News, Fri, Jul_23, 1943

Another two clubs reported demonstrations for meat extenders and meat substitutes in the same publication.  This is remarkable!  The photo below, courtesy of the Cornell University Library – shows a meat canning demonstration at a meeting of the Akron Home Economics Club on December 19, 1916.

Meat canning demonstration at a meeting of the Akron Home Economics Club on December 19, 1916 from the Cornell University Library.

The Alexander City Outlook from Alabama reported in 1944 several demonstrations along the same line as listed above at Home Demonstration Clubs.  The Dadaville Record, also from Alabama, reported similarly on demonstrations of meat extenders and meat replacers in that same year at various club meetings.

By 1946 American soldiers started to return from Europe and clubs continued to spread the “gospel of meat extenders and meat replacers”.   In Alabama, the Wetumka Herald of 31 October 1846 reported along exactly the same as in 1943, 1944 and 1945 that demonstrations through the clubs were held at 6 locations.

What were these meat extenders and binders?

An article from 27 March 1943 gives us the detail of what was being demonstrated to the American housewife following that same year.

Reference:  The Salt Lake Tribune Sat, Mar 27, 1943

The author emphasises the fact that knowledge is required to use these meat extenders.  He mentions that meat extenders were, at the time of writing, already a household name in America.  Still, I suspect that it did not extend much further back then, the beginning of the war, and it could not have been generally true if one takes into account the enormous effort that it took to spread the gospel of meat extenders following 1943.

Anyone wondering if the meat extenders included some magical products such as was developed by Carl Lindegren with his wife Gertrude Lindegren and reported on by the same newspaper in August of the same year when he boldly claimed that through yeast cell technology, they were able to produce “synthetic meat” – if you are expecting this, you are mistaken.  The meat extenders that was introduced to America was exactly what we still use today.  The key was vegetable sources of protein which included legumes, nuts, cereals, vegetables, and wheat.  Soya was identified as having the highest protein value.  To the housewife this gave them the option to use dried beans and peas, cooked rice, macaroni and other cooked pastes, nuts and nut butters, fresh or canned peas, corn or lima beans, potatoes, wheat flours, bread and crackers.

If the housewife used extenders with incomplete proteins, it was widely suggested in several newspaper reports to add to the diet elements with essential amino acids.  They suggest that they add eggs and milk products to their diet (which are binders in their own right).

Reference:  The Morning News Wed, Feb 17, 1943

The drive for meat extenders was directly related to the food shortages as a result of the war.  Brands such as Kellog’s All Bran which is a household name to this day, were marketed as meat extenders.

Reference: Council Bluffs Nonpareil, Fri Mar 16, 1945

Summary

The evangelists of meat extenders and replacers in the USA, from 1943 onwards, were the US Department of Agriculture through their program of Home Demonstration Clubs.  It is then because of the war that meat extenders are commonplace in a large part of the world, including South Africa.  I remember a story told by a South African meat master in his own right, Roy Oliver, whose memories goes back to the 1960s, that academics from meat science institutes in the USA regularly visited South Africa and encouraged industry to use meat binders, extenders and emulsifiers on an industrial scale.  They would send him various starches and soya products to work with and call him weekly to check on his progress, particularly taking note of the inclusion of these various emulsifiers and stabilisers.  He had to test this in meat emulsions made in the bowl cutter.

This in and off itself is an important historical clue as I suspect that South Africa was easier to access for many of these academics from the USA because of our historical close relationship with one country in the region I suspect was initially responsible for using serials, grains etc. in meat emulsions, namely Russia.

This sets up the subject of our next article!

References

Foegeding, A. A.. 1988.  Gelation In Meat Batters.  Paper presented at a conference.

Labudde, R. A., Lanier, T..  1995.  Protein Functionality and Development. American Meat Science Association.

Simmons, A..  1796. The first American Cookbook. Dover Publications.  New York.

Abbeville Progress, Sat, Feb 10, 1940

Battle Creek Enquirer (Battle Creek, Michigan), Fri, Jan 30, 1948

The Chillicothe Constitution Tribune, Thu, Dec 7, 1944

Chattanooga, Daily, Times, Fri, Jun 25, 1943

Council Bluffs Nonpareil, Fri Mar 16, 1945

Courier Post (Camden, New Jersey), Thu, Aug, 17, 1950

Durant Weekly News (Durant, Oklahoma), Fri, Jul 23, 1943

Fort Worth Star Telegram, Thu, Aug, 22, 1974

Marysville Journal Tribune Mon, Aug 26, 1946.

The Morning News Wed, Feb 17, 1943

The Record Thu, Jul 11, 1946

The Salt Lake Tribune Sat, Mar 27, 1943

http://www.fao.org/3/x6556e/x6556e07.htm

Protein Functionality, the Bind Index and the Early History of Meat Extenders in America Protein Functionality, the Bind Index and the Early History of Meat Extenders in America Eben van Tonder…

[realtalk-princeton]

Does anyone know if you're allowed to apply for summer senior thesis funding through SAFE if you take a year off (for the summer before returning to Princeton)? Considering taking a year off, partially so I would be able to do a thesis that likely won't be possible this year due to travel restrictions. Unclear on the taking time off website, but wanted to see if anyone has experience before reaching out through official channels since I'm not seriously considering it yet.

Response from Sushi:

I did this, but only after taking junior spring sem off (not sure if it would change for a full year, but I personally don’t think so). If I remember correctly, I had to expedite the returning to Princeton process so that I could access Princeton resources, because your SAFE/Concur accounts will be deactivated and you have to email a bunch of people to get them reactivated. Also, I feel like it also depends where you’re getting funding from. I got funded by my two certificate programs who had already (before I left campus) promised to support me for my work, so you should make your plans clear to your funding sources before leaving and see if they’re ok with it. I got funding around 2 weeks after I submitted my initial applications, which makes me think I went through the process normally.

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11.2.3: Mastery Journal Reflection -

During my four weeks of Presentation of Design Solution I was tasked with making an online presentation of my thesis to showcase to a panel of industry professionals. I presented various projects completed in the program to explain how my research explorations and applications of principles, concepts, and frameworks contributed to the process used to implement research-driven design.

Three Main Takeaways:

Wasserman (2016), advises “go with your gut within the guidelines and techniques that you learn for your design work” (Rule of Thirds para. 4)

Malik, Sykes, & West (2012), believes “When the audience finds a story with polish and content, the response is noticeably stronger” (p.193).

Malik, Sykes, & West (2012), argue, “The great presenter considers the audience's needs first and adjusts the standard content to fit” (p.13).

The first takeaway is a concise and critical reminder that the guidelines given and techniques gained provide a framework for which to apply acquired competencies. However, as a media designer sometimes the client demands hot pink and lime green for their website, when research and an understanding of the client’s brand dictates otherwise. As a Media Designer, real-world design problems are solved with appropriate demographic research, a comprehensive understanding or color theory, etc Yet it takes guts to present working solutions that aren’t what the client initially had in mind, and it takes an intuitive understanding of design to know to go in a different direction.

The second takeaway is critical in that, as a Media Designer so often folks latch onto catchy trends that look highly stylized, and in some instances, polished. However, these trends lack depth, meaning, and critical intent to solve a design problem. As a Media Designer, knowing the difference in typeface associations for example, prevents me from cranking out generic looking websites that all use Raleway as the display headers. Understanding, the processes and research required to develop a brand allows for end results that are not only polished, but allows a brand to further effectively communicate to a demographic in a way that is meaningful to them, and that will gain responses.

The third takeaway digs deeper into the second takeaway by outlining specifically what Media Designers should do, design and write with the audience in mind. A campaign for a non-profit for instance, by developing target personas for individuals aged 30-40, a clear understanding of who the target demographic is, what they do for a living, and what matters to them allows for more effective communications that speak directly to them. Content and copy go hand in hand. The greater presenter, and the effective Media Designer showcases final works that place the intended target demographic at the forefront of both content and copy.

Week 1: Thesis Abstracts:

In week one I was tasked with writing abstracts for each of the four DLO pages of my presentation.

Connecting, Synthesizing, Transforming:

In conducting research on the various communities in Missoula, Montana, the demographics of the citizens that reside there, as well as their perceptions of the communities and districts within; the Myrtle St. area presented the biggest unmet need. Through demographic research and conducted interviews the design problem the community faced began to divulge as deeper exploration uncovered the benefits of outdoor activity and the increasing rates of suicide in Montana. The design problem of “What’s here for me?” presented the challenge to promote the area’s access to the river trail, the opportunity for wellness through outdoor exercise and activity, as well as the scenic views of the area as something valuable to the demographic. A client-ready persuasive pitch was developed to inform them of the community’s problem and the area’s need for an identity campaign.

After convincing the client of the need for the campaign a consistent brand experience for the target audience was developed. Through conducted research on design thinking, articulating design solutions, and establishing voice and tone, media was transformed to persuade the client that the brand is the right solution for the Myrtle St. community. Further development of design elements ensued with considerations of how arrows convey movement, guide direction, and can be associated with cycling and the bike paths of the area. Airey (2015), states “Begin by focusing on a design that is recognizable—so recognizable, in fact, that just its shape or outline gives it away” (p.33).

After finalizing the brand voice and tone through the creation of a brand guide, and various roll-out assets, a questionnaire was developed to gain insights into the participant’s thoughts, and feelings based on the efficacy of the project thus far. While the majority of feedback was positive and demonstrates the overall success of the project, further refinements and adjustments can be made. Best (2006), believes “Measuring performance using criteria agreed in the early stages can influence how successful others think the project has been, as the `hard’ data will substantiate what has been achieved” (p. 170).

Solving Problems:

According to the CDC, suicide rates rose to a 38% increase from 1999 to 2016 in Montana. While poor infrastructure and the stagnant job market are bigger overarching problems for Missoula as a whole to tackle, the wellness and well-being of its citizens is a community challenge. In order to determine which community held the direst unmet need, the city of Missoula was explored via Google maps to achieve a bird’s eye view and to examine the various districts within the city limits. Through photo documentation, demographic research, and conducted interviews, it was determined that Malfunction Junction as a whole was too broad. The Hip Strip is already an established brand, and some neighborhoods were too general and too something for everyone. In Design Problem Statements – What They Are and How to Frame Them, Devos (n.d.), concurs “For designers and creative problem solving, a problem is an unmet need that, if met, can satisfy the user’s purpose” (What Is section para. 5).

After divulging the design problem of the Myrtle St. area, further demographic research was conducted using a SWOT Analysis and an Empathy Map. The brand’s voice and tone were developed according to Ericka Heald’s article, 5 Steps to Find Your Brand Voice. With the brand voice & tone established, the visual elements of the brand were developed. The pros and cons of various media in terms of cost, effectiveness, and environmental impact were weighed. After developing the roll-out assets and Myrtle St.’s style guide, the need to examine the demographic’s reaction to the brand and glean insights on their thoughts and opinions still remained. A questionnaire was created to gain insights into the demographic’s reaction to the brand thus far, and to provide the client with confirmation to the brand’s efficacy. It was determined that while the brand is predominately successful, further refinements and adjustments can be made to include older audiences and to create more dynamic media that would inform the demographic of the community and all that it offers.

Innovative Thinking:

It begins with a design problem, an unmet need for a given target market. In order to understand how a brand, product, or service does or does not currently fulfill those needs demographic research utilizing American Fact Finder and in-person interviews of the target demographic to explore their hobbies, interests, and more should be conducted. By placing the collected information into a SWOT analysis and Empathy Map, distinct target audience profiles can be developed to paint a clearer picture of who they are, what they need and what matters to them. Bateman (2018), believes “People don’t just buy what you do, they buy why you do it" (How to Create the Perfect Elevator Pitch).

To determine the true design problem a brand, product, or service faces; the four W’s of: Who is affected? What is the problem? Where does it happen? Why does it matter? as outlined by Devos (n.d.) should be asked to develop a full understanding of the client’s design problem. From there, a new perspective regarding the branding and marketing direction of a client’s product or service paves the way to develop working solutions that meet both the client and target demographic’s needs.

The forefront of innovative design is content, and media created with the audience in mind. The implementation of out-of-the-box thinking synthesizes bold, and original departures from everyday standards and improves upon existing design solutions. The use of arrows in the Myrtle St. community identity takes advantage of the strong directional and graphic nature of the brand. In implementing the arrows not only as a critical design element, but also as a guide in community way-finding signage, the arrows allow the brand’s roll-out assets to transcend the static nature of those elements and to guide both new and current community members to the brand.

Acquiring Competencies:

Over the course of the last ten months I developed the research tools, skills, and methodologies necessary to stay on the cutting edge of the graphic design industry. I conducted a case study and implemented mind maps as a graphic organizer to O’Grady (2009), “correlate research with new ideas” (p. 82). This allowed me to build a foundation for ideation of logo development. I researched and explored the purpose of a logo, how to sustain a successful brand over time, and how to develop a brand toolbox. I developed target audience personas and learned to write with them in mind. I wrote headlines that inspire, and taglines that tantalize. I evaluated design options, investigated methods for text handling and layout, and translated the concepts into effective visual communications. I created dynamic media by first planning for motion through story boarding, and then communicated the voice and tone of my brand through motion. I created a range of imagery to promote my concepts and ideas through photo and video and gained critical skills through the exploration of various design options and strategies. I delved deeper into defining and articulating design solutions, further honed an understanding of brand voice & vision, and further conveyed my brand’s characteristics through dynamic media. I planned media assets that best communicate my brand to the target audience and developed various types of media for a variety of platforms to create a unified multi-media community identity campaign. I then examined metrics and marketing strategies as well as how they are implemented in the industry as I learned to refine my presentation skills.

Upon completion of this program I will be able to deliver professional quality deliverables and unified multi-media campaigns to my clients. Through critical thinking, problem-solving, research and application I strive to create innovative work that instills wonder and inspires others. Adams (2017), claims “That is where graphic design takes hold, smart ideas that communicate a clear message and do it with skill and craft” (What is Graphic Design?).

Week 2: Thumbnail Sketches:

In week two I was tasked with revising my thesis abstracts and exploring web page layouts. I received feedback from a peer that was positive and confident that each abstract was heading in the right direction for each of my arguments for mastery. The feedback received from Professor McClung proved to be enlightening and allowed me to realize that only my abstract for Acquiring Competencies was “on track”. For Innovative Thinking I had failed to make any claim to innovation what so ever. For Connecting, Synthesizing, and Transforming I had one heck of a long ways to go in delving into the finite details and small things. And for Solving Problems? I needed to start with the problem statement and define it and focus specifically on Myrtle St.

I’m not gonna lie, this is where the occasional emotional breakdown began as the full scope of what was needed and expected in a matter of weeks truly hit home with me. As I attempted to explore various layout grids and showcase images that I would apply to the pages of my presentation I realized that since I did not have a clear view of what my arguments were I could not just plaster images at random. The road block of not having written my arguments concrete prevented me from visualizing the end presentation, let alone selecting images.

2 Column Grid: Thumbnail Sketch:

After exploring Wasserman’s (2016), article A Comprehensive Introduction to Grids in Web Design, I began to sketch for consideration of 2, 3, 4, and combination grid layouts.

Week 3: First Drafts:

In week three I don’t remember the last time I consecutively slept less. I could not get work off since there’s a staffing shortage, and so I just had to shut up and get things done. My issues as an aside, I met the first draft deadline for all sections except for Connecting, Synthesizing, Transforming. Since I knew that section would be the most involved and detailed, I left it for last. Unfortunately, I did not receive any peer review or feedback this week and I believe it was my decision to place the following on the Connecting, etc page rather than explain and articulate that other sections had been worked on:

Since the Connecting section is the first section to examine, the possibility exists that my peers didn’t realize that I had worked on other sections since I failed to elaborate or articulate that I had. After all, if the first thing they click on isn’t done why would they waste their valuable time?

Week 4: Final Drafts & Portfolio Practice:

In week four, my caffeine addiction ramped up as the final draft deadline crept closer and closer. After refining, and revising each section, I realized that ultimately my Connecting section and Acquiring Competencies sections mirror each other in that for both sections I explored the finite details of the principles, concepts, and frameworks researched and applied. However, I tackled both sections differently. As appropriate, I dove into the research for the Connecting section and examined the hard and soft skills gained throughout the program in Acquiring Competencies.

For portfolio practice I was tasked with choosing a MDMFA project to breakdown and articulate on my portfolio site. Since the Myrtle St. community identity project is the most involved and the most complete, and research I chose to tackle that since I have been wanting to put it on my portfolio site for some time anyways.

I breakdown the project and the research applied from identifying a design problem to measuring design effectiveness.

Reference:

Adams, S. [Sean Adams]. (2017, May 31). What is Graphic Design? [Video file]. Retrieved from https://www.lynda.com/Graphic-Design-tutorials/What-graphic-design/614734/625796-4.html?org=fullsail.edu

Airey, D. (2015). Logo Design Love: A guide to creating iconic brand identities, second edition. United States: New Riders.

Bateman, A. (2018, July 20). How to create the perfect elevator pitch. Retrieved August 30, 2019, from: https://www.lynda.com/Business-Skills-tutorials/Company-approach-versus-personal-approach/728380/763728-4.html?org=fullsail.edu

Best, K. (2006, October 31) Design management. Available at: https://ce.safaribooksonline.com/book/design/9782940439782

Birch, N. (n.d.) Ripped in half: websites with 2-column layouts Available at: https://designmodo.com/two-column-websites/

Cao, J. (2015, September 2) Storytelling web design: some key techniques with great live examples. Available at: https://thenextweb.com/dd/2015/09/02/how-to-design-a-foolproof-website-with-storytelling/

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2018, June 7) Suicide rising across the US: More than a mental health concern. Retrieved from Vital Signs available at: https://www.cdc.gov/vitalsigns/suicide/infographic.html#graphic1

Cox, P. (2012, October 15) The unwritten rules of a great design critique. Available at: https://tympanus.net/codrops/2012/10/15/the-unwritten-rules-of-a-great-design-critique/

Devos, J. (n.d.) Design Problem Statements – What They Are and How to Frame Them. Retrieved from Toptal available at: https://www.toptal.com/designers/product-design/design-problem-statement

Hampton-Smith, S. (2018, September 26) How to create balanced page layouts. Available at:  https://www.creativebloq.com/netmag/create-balanced-page-layouts-7-pro-tips-121310009

Malik. N. A, & Sykes. M, West M.D. (2012, December 17). Stories that move mountains: storytelling and visual design for persuasive presentations. Retrieved from: https://ce.safaribooksonline.com/book/communications/presentations/9781118423

O’Grady,  V. J. & O’Grady, K. (2009). A designer’s research manual: succeed in design by knowing your clients and what they really need. Beverly, MA. Rockport Publishers, Inc. 

Wasserman, E. (2016, May 18) A comprehensive introduction to grids in web design. Available at: https://webdesign.tutsplus.com/articles/a-comprehensive-introduction-to-grids-in-web-design--cms-26521