#this is not primary school we have moved past that 🙏🙏

[amphibiangeorgerussel]

not to sound like a child but some of y’all are so mean it makes me wonder if you are okay.

[purplesurveys]

1603 - happy new year’s eve eve!

Have you done any of the same things as me? [2022 Edition] by joybucket

experienced something amazing and miraculous? 🤩 I’ve experienced amazing things like getting a new dog, seeing the sea, having profound conversations with a few Grab drivers, etc; but nothing miraculous mainly because I don’t believe in miracles.

switched to a new primary care doctor? I don’t even have a main doctor.

tried a new medication? 💊 Yes. When I sprained my ankle, the Good Samaritans who helped nurse my foot also gave me these capsules to take every 8 or so hours.

felt afraid to leave the house? Yes - that time in July when there was a shooting in Ateneo. My family was out that day and that scared me more, but I was staying at home at the time and thought under no circumstances was I going out that week. Kaye actually invited me to dinner NEAR THE DAMN PLACE and I had to tell her girl did you not know people literally got killed 8 hours ago? lol.

had a new neighbor move in? I can finally answer this question with a yes, lol. We didn’t have any nearby neighbors for at least like a decade, but in 2022 there was a family who moved in across us; the abandoned house beside ours also finally got renovated and another family is I believe currently renting the place.

met a new neighbor? I haven’t. We usually keep to ourselves but for the family who moved in across us this month I am thinking of sending them a little something.

read the entire Bible? 📖 I haven’t touched that book since high school.

had a smoothie that tasted really, really good? 🍹 I don’t like smoothies. I did try this great mocha nut latte earlier this month and discovered how fantastic chocnut works with coffee.

had some significant health issues? Other than my sprained ankle, my carpal tunnel syndrome acted up quite a bit this year.

made a lot of surveys? I’ve never made a survey.

taken a lot of surveys? Like any other year.

gave yourself a significant haircut? 💇‍♀️ I always have my hair professionally worked on, whether it’s a trim or dye job. I do not trust myself with a pair of scissors for anything haha.

discovered a new YouTube channel you really liked? Earlier this year I found Institute of Human Anatomy, who I bingewatched for a while. Bea also got me into Korean Englishman/Jolly. She’s been trying to get me on the train since 2021 actually, but it was only this year when my attention was finally caught.

discovered a new favorite book? 📖 I didn’t have any major book discoveries this year.

re-read a book you really liked? 📖 I re-discovered Midnight Sun when I found it in our storage (after thinking my mom threw it out), but I didn’t re-read it per se as I never finished it in the past.

debated reaching out to someone and asking for prayer, but didn't? 🙏 I do not ask for prayers, at least actively. People tell me they pray for me which is always appreciated as I know it must mean a lot for them to do so; but it’s not something I would take the initiative to ask for.

started taking a new birth control pill? I have never taken birth control.

experienced anaphylaxis? Nope.

...and then had to be on Prednisone for three months because of it? Nope, I don’t have regular medications.

gained weight from a medication? I didn’t.

...and then lost some of it once you were off the medication, but not all of it? I didn’t.

discovered you had steroid-induced diabetes? Nope.

daydreamed a lot? 💭 Probably, yeah.

had overdue library books? 📚 I haven’t been to a library, much less borrow a book, since pre-pandemic college, so no. I’ve always been terrible at returning books though and I always get that Look of Shock from librarians when they see the total of my overdue charges LOL so you were at least right about that.

worn a mask? 😷 Just about every time I’ve gone out! The government has lifted mask-wearing for both indoor and outdoor areas so technically we have the choice/freedom to go maskless now, but people in Manila are rather paranoid and prefer wearing a mask still – I do, too. Provinces though, I’ve observed that they are much less cautious and people hardly wear masks there anymore.

worn a mask when cleaning, because you're allergic to dust mites? 😷 I’m not allergic so I don’t wear a mask. I sneeze a lot though, lol.

went days without washing your hair? A few times, yes.

felt overjoyed one day and then depressed the next? It happens.

thought about how much you missed going to church? ⛪️ All I think about is when I can finally stop going, so no.

thought about how much you missed painting? 🖼 Yeah, a little bit! I had some paint-by-numbers stacked in my closet for a while - they were 2021 Christmas gifts that I never got around to sending out lol, and I was always getting that voice in my head asking what the fuck I wanted to do with them.

....and thought about how you'd like to start painting again? 🎨 Sure. The resolution to that ^ is that I finally pulled one of the packs out and started painting. Just this December, actually. I plan on continuing the template for the rest of the company break/shutdown.

found out that someone got hit by a car and died while crossing a street that you cross all the time? I unfortunately saw the aftermath of a very graphic motorcycle crash on Christmas Day, and that dude I saw with his face down was most likely a casualty. I don’t pass the area all the time, just whenever we head south; but it was still spooky nonetheless. More sad than spooky though, considering a family’s gonna have to find out they lost someone on Christmas Day.

enjoyed watching the snow fall? ❄️ I have never seen snow.

wished you had a car? 🚘 I already do.

talked to your mom on the phone? 📱 A few times, but they were always 15-second calls where either of us just ask the other something urgent.

talked to your mom online? 💬 Yeah, whenever she’s at work we communicate through Messenger.

realized none of your bras fit you anymore? Nope, they all still work just fine.

received a package in the mail? 📦 I mean this year was no different and I still bought stacks upon stacks of K-pop merch lol, so yes I did receive packages a handful of times.

started watching Youtube Shorts regularly? Oh I irrationally hate those. Trying so hard to be IG reels/TikTok lol when YouTube’s strong suit has always been longer videos.

practiced self-hypnosis? 😵 No, I don’t believe in hypnosis.

discovered a new food you really liked? Not food exactly but my mom got this tub of local vinegar called pinakurat that is SO good; works with any Filipino breakfast food. I ask for it all the time now. 

discovered your bike had a flat tire? 🚴 Not my bike but our car! Happened on our way back to Manila from Zambales. We were a mere hundred meters away from the expressway (where my dad would’ve gone 90-100 kph) when we heard a loud pop. The place we got stuck at (Subic) is notably a safer city than other provinces so it was such a welcome surprise seeing Good Samaritans all over the damn road momentarily stop by and offer help – even more amazing was that the vice mayor of the city happened to drive by at the time and immediately stopped where we were to give tips about what we should do, where to go, who to talk to, etc. In the end, my dad was also able to get a lift from another Good Samaritan to the nearest vulcanizing shop to get the whole thing settled. 

Touching show of humanity, but at the same time also gave me some sort of existential crisis because fuck knows what would have happened had we reached the freeway and had the tire pop there instead.

made a new playlist of songs you really liked? 🎶 My sister and I made a few Blended playlists on Spotify but that’s about it.

got rid of a ton of old clothes? 👚 Not yet at least. But I’m planning on gathering clothes I know longer use and giving them to Reena to sell, all profit hers. Poor girl got scammed 20k recently and I just want to help.

ran/walked a Christmas-themed race? 🏃‍♀️ You will never find me in a race/fun run/marathon haha.

watched your city's Christmas parade? We don’t have one.

enjoyed eating salads? 🥗 Just tuna sashimi salads.

enjoyed eating chocolate pie? I’ve never had chocolate pie.

celebrated Thanksgiving alone? I don’t celebrate Thanksgiving.

celebrated your birthday alone? I wasn’t alone. I was with my family on the day of; that same weekend my friends and I set off to Zambales for a quick beach trip.

didn't really have a good birthday? No, I had a fantastic one this year.

almost died multiple times? Apart from the time I had a bad fall in the bathroom and could have cracked my skull if not for the instinct of tucking my head, no.

enjoyed reading the Bible? 📖 I never enjoyed reading it and have no plans of touching one again.

danced around your living room? 💃 Sure, a few times.

written in cursive? ✍️ Yeah I practiced every now and then so that my penmanship doesn’t get rusty.

written in a journal? 📓 I have this account. I don’t write in journals because my mom is likely to snoop around.

written in a one-line-a-day journal? 📔 No, I don’t really do that when I have whole-ass surveys to fill out haha.

accidentally dropped a dish and broke it? Not a plate. But just this month my dad and I were unloading groceries when I dropped a tub of mayonnaise LOL. Luckily enough my dad got the one with plastic packaging that day, so the only thing that got damaged was the seal. Had we gotten the variant with glass packaging I would have gotten a mouthful.

went for a walk through the cemetery on Halloween? We went to a columbarium on All Souls’ Day (pretty close to Halloween, so I’ll count it) to visit my grandpa.

not brought your camera with you somewhere, and then wished you had? 📸 Not necessarily but I’ve had my phone die on me when I was at the beach wanting to take photos of the sunset.

discovered a new really good book? Nope.

read a book with a character named Simone in it? I did not.

had a doctor get irritated with you? Nah. I went to a couple dentists this year and they couldn’t have been nicer.

had a doctor not believe you about something? Nope.

broke out in acne all over your face? I had a few pimples show up here and there. I wouldn’t call it a breakout though.

found out one of your friends had COVID? 🦠 Yeah. People are still getting Covid all over the place but it’s no longer as bad or feared about as it used to be. “She got Covid” is just about as scary as “She has a fever” now.

wondered if you had COVID? 🦠 Every time I come home from being in an overcrowded place. Never got it though.

played Mahjong on your phone? 🀄️ I don’t even know how that works, so no.

used a lot of emojis? 🦄 🤪 💃 I use emojis frequently, but always the same ones. I have little use for the majority of them.

wore a cheetah-print mask? Nope.

worshiped God? 💃 Nooooooooooooope.

uploaded some new photos to Facebook? Yes, when Kimi passed I uploaded photos of me and him, photos of his urn, and Cooper and Agi standing beside the urn. I also always uploaded post-concert photos at the end of all of BTS’ online shows this year.

sorted through some old photos on your computer? Yeah, a few times.

wondered why your fridge was making funny noises? It didn’t.

gone for lovely and enchanting walks in the fall? 🍁 We don’t have fall.

wore the same outfit for days? Like, without washing? Eugh, hahaha. No. I do repeat outfits but I make sure it’s been like a month since I last wore a particular top-bottom pairing.

worn slipper socks? I didn’t this year.

gone out to eat with your parents? I took them out for dinner, just the two of them, earlier this year; but for the most part they prefer me to take the whole family out i.e. including my siblings, if I was going to give a treat.

enjoyed looking at your friends' baby pictures on Facebook? None of them have kids.

wondered what one of your friends was going to name her baby? We talk about it all the time.

wished someone would invite you to church, but no one did? Not applicable.

took more medication than you were supposed to when you were in severe pain? Not necessarily but I did take some desperate measures when I was dealing with wisdom tooth pain, pre-extraction. I strapped a cold compress to my face and also rubbed Katinko hoping it would feel numb.

wished autocorrect didn't make so many annoying errors? Well, not really. I just turned it off because autocorrect is an utter bitch when I’m typing in Filipino.

wished your cramps would go away? Don’t we always wish they would, when they do come?

enjoyed having a conversation with a random stranger while waiting in line for something? Not while waiting in line, but whenever I take a Grab on the way to a destination. I always make it a point to make conversation with my drivers because 1) everyone else probably wants a silent ride and I can’t imagine how lonely the drivers feel driving strangers all day, and 2) you wouldn’t believe the amazing conversations that can sometimes come out of those moments.

wished you could see your cousins more? Yeah, especially cousins on my dad’s side. 

thought about how much you used to love church? No.

had a certain traumatic incident keep coming back to haunt you? Not so much, no.

debated trying to get to know your neighbors more? Sure.

not eaten anything sweet on your birthday? This is true! I don’t really like cake, so I never planned on getting one made.

....for the first time ever, since you normally eat cake on your birthday? Nah, I’ve had a few birthdays with no cake.

eaten a lot of mango popsicles? I’ve never even had one.

[flowercrowngods]

19, 21, 28, 40

oh boy this got so out of hand i have a lot to say apparently 🤡 you did this to yourself 🙏

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

i think it started with a story about a little girl who was visited by some faeries, about four or six a4 computer-written pages that i then printed and gifted mama for her birthday or something. no, it was before that, handwritten, but i only remember mention of a cat. a chubby cat i think. i definitely started writing these little stories in primary school, but never short stories, it was always works that were way bigger than little me, abandoned after three pages because i moved on to the next. and then in 6th grade or so my friend wanted to write a crime novel with me. god, we had no idea what we were doing. it just occurs to me how deeply rooted these let’s go all out on these characters tendencies are.

why did i start? because it was fun. it was fascinating. it was something people told me i’m good at, writing alternative endings to short stories in school, writing my own fables and short stories, even essays and all that. in primary school my teacher told me i’m gonna be a writer or a teacher. and here i am, on my way to becoming a teacher, and writing some funky little stories sometimes.

writing has always been the thing i just do. in 12th grade half my year was rooting for me going nanowrimo for the first time, and they’d check in every day, and when i told them i made the 50k, they asked how much that is, and when i told them, that awe in their face, that exasperation, that shake of head and a muttered, “you’re crazy”. that’s when i knew i had found my happy place, and if i ever end up writing something of my own, i already know there will be people who have my back, who will not be surprised, who will smile and say, “knew it”. it’s a bit of a thrilling feeling, knowing this.

but still there’s no way that i’m going, i’m just walking. there’s not even a road here, just grass, some hills, it’s freedom and it’s safe and it’s dangerous and devastating and i wonder why i ever set foot on this journey only to round a corner and find out once more, with a smile. there is a version of me, lost to the past, but possibly still out there somewhere, who thinks that evoking emotions is what humans are here on this earth to do. that making people feel joy or anger or sadness or wistfulness or any of that, with the power of stories, is the most base act of humanity — and the fact that i get to do that sometimes on the internet with you people? there’s something deeply humbling about that.

but also i’m just here to fuck around and find out i guess, whatever works

21. Could you ever quit writing? Do you ever wish you could? Why or why not?

i don’t think i could, because there’s just. this itch. this need. the absolute certainty that my brain would eat itself, go into full self-destruct mode if by some external force i were made to quit writing. that’s not to say i think i’m necessarily good at it, in either language, but something about it seems to catch people, and i’m addicted to that. it’s like a drug, i think, learning to master this craft and getting the reactions for it. having people say, with certainly much exaggeration, “this is the best thing i’ve ever read”, it just. makes me understand being alive a bit more.

i frequently wish i could stop this need to write. because needing to write isn’t what will make the words sound good, and breaks are necessary, they are vital. but the brain doesn’t care for that, and i’ll be miserable on the floor without my words, knowing they’ll come back because they always do, but i wish i wouldn’t rely on them so much.

but even so, i think my wish to be able to quit writing isn’t that at all. it’s probably more a painful awareness that my self worth is tied directly to if and what i’m writing, this addiction to creation. i want to stop needing to write, i think.

28. Who is the most delightful character you’ve ever written? Why?

this might come as a surprise, but i love when my characters get to be happy. happy soft ridiculous giddy eddie as he gets in some scenes or in the tattoo shop au? that’s really fucking delightful. delighted characters will make a delighted writer, i think, so i’m gonna stick with that umbrella type answer

40. Please share a poem with me, I need it.

uh. you know i’m not a poet, but i guess i’ll try for you, dingus, even though you’re way better at this than me 🌷 it is, of course, about arson

they liken flames to tongues and i wonder how my name would taste for them. i wonder what they would say. i wonder if they would scream like me.

i wonder if they want to burn or if they’re made to like me.

i wonder what they would feel like on my skin, if warmth had any meaning then or if it were misplaced like me.

silent and still, it’s in my room, a spark waiting to become a blaze. waiting to serve a purpose. waiting to be so much more than it ought to be, yet recognised in its ability.

like me.

[toomanysurveys9]

Have you done any of the same things as me? [2022 Edition] by joybucket experienced something amazing and miraculous? 🤩 Not miraculous. But amazing, yes. Amazing times with family, like a couple family vacations. Watching my brother graduate basic and AIT. Watching Wyatt start school and learn so much. Got to see my best friend I hadn’t seen in YEARS. Just to name a few.

switched to a new primary care doctor? Nope.

tried a new medication? 💊 Maybe a new cold and flu medicine.

felt afraid to leave the house? Sometimes.

had a new neighbor move in?

Yeah.

met a new neighbor? Yeah, the ones that moved in this past year

read the entire Bible? 📖 Nope.

had a smoothie that tasted really, really good? 🍹 I don’t think so last year, but this year I did!

had some significant health issues? Nope.

made a lot of surveys? I don’t make surveys.

taken a lot of surveys? No. I hope this year I can take more. I have missed doing them and this community.

gave yourself a significant haircut? 💇‍♀️ Not this year.

discovered a new YouTube channel you really liked? I don’t think so.

discovered a new favorite book? 📖 I did not really read too many new books.

re-read a book you really liked? 📖 Yes.

debated reaching out to someone and asking for prayer, but didn’t? 🙏 I don’t believe in prayer.

started taking a new birth control pill? No. Breastfeeding has been a phenomenal birth control.

experienced anaphylaxis? No.

…and then had to be on Prednisone for three months because of it? Nope.

gained weight from a medication? Not from medication.

…and then lost some of it once you were off the medication, but not all of it? Not from medication.

discovered you had steroid-induced diabetes? Nope.

daydreamed a lot? 💭 Oh yeah.

had overdue library books? 📚 Nope.

worn a mask? 😷 I had to at work most of the year. There was a month or two when we didn’t have to at work, but it was short-lived, and I ended up wearing it even though it wasn’t required most of the time anyways because I didn’t want my kids to get sick.

worn a mask when cleaning, because you’re allergic to dust mites? 😷 No.

went days without washing your hair? So many days. With so many people living here and so much on my plate, I’m lucky if I get to actually wash my hair twice a week. But most of the people living here will be moving out soon.

felt overjoyed one day and then depressed the next? Story of my life, although I’m not sure I’d say I was usually overjoyed.

thought about how much you missed going to church? ⛪️ Nope.

thought about how much you missed painting? 🖼 Nope. I’m not artisitic.

….and thought about how you’d like to start painting again? 

Nope.

found out that someone got hit by a car and died while crossing a street that you cross all the time?

Not that I can think of. enjoyed watching the snow fall? ❄️ I was happy to have snow on Christmas day, but that is the only day I’m okay with having snow.

wished you had a car? 🚘 Nope. I wished we had a different car. But at least we have one I guess.

talked to your mom on the phone? 📱 Yeah.

talked to your mom online? 💬 Yeah.

realized none of your bras fit you anymore? Nope.

received a package in the mail? 📦 Stuff I ordered online, yeah.

started watching Youtube Shorts regularly? Nope.

practiced self-hypnosis? 😵 No. I don’t even know what that is.

discovered a new food you really liked? I’m not sure. Nothing specific comes to mind.

discovered your bike had a flat tire? 🚴 I don’t even own one.

made a new playlist of songs you really liked? 🎶 I don’t make playlists. I just use Pandora.

got rid of a ton of old clothes? 👚 Old baby/kid clothes.

ran/walked a Christmas-themed race? 🏃‍♀️ No.

watched your city’s Christmas parade? We don’t have one.

enjoyed eating salads? 🥗 Here and there.

enjoyed eating chocolate pie? I don’t really eat chocolate pie.

celebrated Thanksgiving alone? Nope. My family is too big for that. They’d never allow it.

celebrated your birthday alone? ^^^

didn’t really have a good birthday? It wasn’t bad. 

almost died multiple times? Nope.

enjoyed reading the Bible? 📖 Nope.

danced around your living room? 💃 I did that pretty often with my babies.

written in cursive? ✍️ Only when I had to sign my name... like every day for work.

written in a journal? 📓 Not as often as I wish I had.

written in a one-line-a-day journal? 📔 Nope.

accidentally dropped a dish and broke it? Not that I can remember.

went for a walk through the cemetery on Halloween? No. I take my kids trick or treating.

not brought your camera with you somewhere, and then wished you had? 📸 All the time.

discovered a new really good book? No. Again.

read a book with a character named Simone in it? No.

had a doctor get irritated with you? No.

had a doctor not believe you about something? Not that I can think of.

broke out in acne all over your face? The bottom half of my face. Damn masks.

found out one of your friends had COVID? 🦠 Probably.

wondered if you had COVID? 🦠 I did get COVID last year.

played Mahjong on your phone? 🀄️ Nope.

used a lot of emojis? 🦄 🤪 💃 Probably.

wore a cheetah-print mask? I did not.

worshiped God? 💃 I’m not a believer.

uploaded some new photos to Facebook? A lot of pictures. I’m always uploading photos. Mostly of my kids. We have family in different states that are only able to watch them grow up that way.

sorted through some old photos on your computer? Yeah, probably.

wondered why your fridge was making funny noises? Yeah. Our house is falling apart.

gone for lovely and enchanting walks in the fall? 🍁 I guess.

wore the same outfit for days? Probably.

worn slipper socks? Nope.

gone out to eat with your parents? We do that a lot.

enjoyed looking at your friends’ baby pictures on Facebook? Yeah.

wondered what one of your friends was going to name her baby? Yeah.

wished someone would invite you to church, but no one did? Nope.

took more medication than you were supposed to when you were in severe pain? Nope.

wished autocorrect didn’t make so many annoying errors? Yeah.

wished your cramps would go away? Didn’t really have cramps because I haven’t had a period since before I was pregnant with Nora. So it’s been about two years now.

enjoyed having a conversation with a random stranger while waiting in line for something? Not really.

wished you could see your cousins more? Yeah.

thought about how much you used to love church? Nope.

had a certain traumatic incident keep coming back to haunt you? Yeah.

debated trying to get to know your neighbors more? Not really.

not eaten anything sweet on your birthday? Nope.

….for the first time ever, since you normally eat cake on your birthday? Nope.

eaten a lot of mango popsicles? Nope.