#this is the save where i tried out shane and even tho i wanted to divorce him ASAP i got 2 kids with him so i could raise them with krobus

[perilegs]

ok i also have got to show off the multiplayer farm i have with a friend of mine, we're 2 mil away from the golden clock and so incredibly out of hardwood – note the unfinished fences lmao

our houses are nowhere near 1st priority as you can see

[veren-cos]

Bachelors distracting you!

Stardew Valley Bachelors x reader

You need to get work done but they want your attention, and one way or another, they will get it :3

Not proofread, and not very cohesive between characters. Tried to keep it Canon. May or may not have succeeded.

Sam

"No, babe, a new season just started I have to get going on my crops!"

• Would definitely pout and try and hold your hand to prevent you from leaving the house

• As you got out your money and some leftover seeds from last year, he would (not so sneakily) get out his guitar

• He would then start playing a brand new song for you

• Like. Has been saving it for something, and it wasn't quite done, but he just had to get you to stay!

• Then when you tried asking him about it, he would say "no, I'm sorry, I have to work on this song more!"

• Basically mocking you from earlier saying you had to work haha

• This would successfully get you for like an hour, it makes him happy.

Alex

You were bustling around town, and he wanted you to talk to him, even if just for a bit!

• As soon as he saw you enter town he started lifting weights.

• And the more he saw you enter and leave buildings he started using heavier ones, trying to get you to think he is soooooo impressive.

• Eventually when you come to his house BUT DONT TALK TO HIM (how dare you/j) he does that jock boy thing where he wipes his sweat with his shirt

• A cocky bastard (affectionate) who just wants to see you flustered and pause for a second to admire him.

• Yeah. That definitely distracts you as you leave.

(God he is such a dude bro (affectionate-))

Sebastian

You were busy doing work around the farm, and he wanted attention but didn't want to outwardly bother your day.

• Ngl he would either work on his motorcycle purely because he knows you think it's hot, or he would play his synthesizer.

• Depends on how confident he is feeling that day, but he knows both of those need to be done eventually anyways!

• He rarely practices his synth, and knows it fascinates you.

• It's just so cool he knows how to play it!!

• If he works on his motorcycle, you just watch because you are trying to figure out what he is doing

• You want to be able to actually know what he is talking about when he tells you about it later!

• Either way, he knows he grabbed your attention for a little bit, and that's enough for him

• Definitely would not be up in your face about it tho, he is very low key about like. Everything-

Harvey

• Wouldn't try to distract you from your farming or anything

• Knows how important your job is

• Would however distract you from menial activities like reading or watching TV if you haven't given him enough attention that day

• Would start cooking

• Like something he knows you really like, but also smells so it would get your attention

• Also plays music. Like some early 2000s girly pop music. He loves that stuff but doesn't play it often because he thinks it's embarrassing he likes it (it isn't I love that shit)

• But yeah that grabs your attention from whatever you were doing

Shane

• Starts bringing the chickens outside of the coup!

• Knows you think they are cute

• And he knows you think he is cute when he is taking care of the animals

• Plus it's also practical for him to do animal stuff so you can farm

• But yeah he doesn't really want a lot of attention, just wants to see you smile for a bit!

Elliott

He just wanted to see your face stick around for a little longer! Didn't want you to go, even when he knew you had work to do.

• Would play his piano!

• Works like a charm because he always has something new

• You wonder when he has the time to practice new pieces all the time

• You sit next to him for a bit, leaning on his shoulder

• After he finishes the song, he let's you go back to whatever you were doing.

• He got in enough time with you for now, but he would make sure to get all of your attention later

An* I had like no ideas for Harvey and Shane. Sorry if they are kinda clunky- This was mostly inspired by my ideas for Sam and Alex, but this was fun to write!! Also, these lowkey make no sense, and they weren't proofread, so just take the concepts loosely and run with it! :)

Rasmodius, aka The Wizard (by request)

I imagine that this would be when you stopped by to visit him but had to leave to go work. Like y'all weren't living together.

• Would use magic!

• A silent spell that makes little illusions around the room.

• He is a little shy, so like Sebastian or Harvey, he wouldn't outright say anything.

• But he makes everything so pretty you can't help but stare for a while.

• The lights danced near the ceiling, a mirage of all your favorite colors

• He gets your attention for a while, and it keeps him content until he sees you again :3

Masterlist

[badgirlcovenrep]

My thoughts on Motherland Fort Salem: Ep. 6: "My 3 Dads"

- whew... this is gonna be a long one, this episode had SO MUCH going on

- I thought cape lady was Scylla for a second ngl

- this is like... way too much spree. Like- WAY too much

- the "bleed for freedom" speech is pretty poignant tho. Like, they're not wrong and that's what makes the Spree so scary to me

- I can see why witches would give their lives to the Spree with how the world is going for them and that's why they're so powerful

- tally is seeing through Alder's lies! My cinnamon roll will bring waste upon the U.S military herself and I'm SO here for it!

- so they hate Alder in the Cession? That brought me so any questions

- If the Cession is mostly native American is there some historical beef between alder and the first nations?

- when alder gave them the cession in exchange for biddyship like eliot said was it done as peacefully as alder implied? We know she could definitely cover up smth like this

- did she do something shady to get the biddies?

- They need Charvel's blood? How long has she been dead at this point? Does she even still have blood? I'm so confused

- love abigail and adil being rebelious together tho. They're so hot. I'm a sucker for bi couples

- i also think it's nice to see adil be so cool and outspoken, he's definitely different nowadays

- abigail's dads are so cute but i do not trust them

- can they legit leave abigail alone? Like they won't stop for A SECOND to acknowledge she's still traumatized from being hunted and almost killed but they want her to honor her family by being a glorified incubator for the army? Fuck THAT

- this handfasting thing makes me so MAD, literally EWWW

- Shane killed tiffany's parents... honestly i'm glad Scylla killed that psycho

- he deserved to die and Scylla did Brianna a favor idc what anacostia says

- he was definitely gonna groom his daughter into the Camarilla she's better off away from this mess

- hopefully bonnie and her get to have a normal life now

- I also fully support Tiffany going with the Dodgers

- they're truly the only pacifists out of this whole show

- and like Scylla said, if she goes there, she has a chance to actually choose for herself what she wants to do

- if she went with the military she'd be like, instantly conscripted, and she deserves to choose if she wants that

- #justicefortiffany

- so Raelle is only going to find out Willa is alive when she sees the bitch, huh? Okay. Okay, yeah. I'm fine...

- not really I'm dying inside this meeting is gonna be SO UGLY

- like if she found out first she'd have sometime to think about it, now she's just going to have to deal with it on the spot and that is NOT going to help

- the conflicting feelings are going to be delicious though, she's going to feel happy and relieved that her mom is alive but also probably be so hurt and angry that she left them to mourn her all this time I'm so nervous for all this

- beanie!Tally has my whole entire heart

- I don't like Anacostia being back with Alder but I guess she wasn't ready for all this shit

- scylla is way more of a little shit than she predicted

- I already love Gwen. I was hoping we'd get to meet Willa's unit at some point, wonder what happened to the third one

- cool to see her use the same off-canon work as Raelle tho, still curious to know where that came from

- love adil literally not caring about Abigail's family's dumb traditions

- also I hate her dads now

- like calling witches MARES??? What is wrong with these people?? Do they not see how wrong this is? 🤢🤢

- they literally KNOW they're treating Abigail like a freaking animal to be bred

- this is so disgusting I stg and so very reminiscent of how women were treated back in the day, like baby incubators

- did- did this show jus imply Abigail was made in an orgy...

- kinda liked seeing willa be so nice to tiffany, you can definitely see she has a lot of maternal traits abt her

- it MUST eat Scylla alive a bit that Tiffany lost her parents just like she lost hers

- the Camarilla keeping kids in animal cages and feeding them dog food is literally so vile. Eliot didn't have to go THERE, but he did and it makes this all so much scarier

- it's like willa said tho, they're doing this bc they're literally so scared of witches they won't even go for grown up ones

- we saw how they ran like little bitches when the lights went off at the party

- they're all just cowards

- on another note. "Bedtime for tally" lol

- YESSS put it all together, TALLY!! My baby is gonna start a rebellion I can feel it!

- was not expecting Nicte to still be alive tho

- in my head the flashbacks were WAY older

- Petra is being such a bitch to Abigail I stg. She said she'd change in episode 1 and she's only getting worse

- was not expecting granny Minerva to side with Abigail on this but literally GO OFF, LITERAL QUEEN OF PERFECT MICROBRAIDS

- YA'LL RAELLE IS SINGING. RAELLE IS SINGING STFU THIS IS SO PERFECT.

- if we don't get Raelle serenading Scylla by the end of this show what's even the point

- AND eliot said she was thinking about Scylla aaaaaaaa

- she deserved those dad hugs, I'm so sad she still thinks her mom's dead tho

- watching tip: go back on the scene Alder is getting her throat burned and just watch the biddies roll around dramatically on the floor. You don't have to thank me. I was laughing hard at that

- I had a feeling Raelle was gonna get taken but STILL JESUS THAT SCENE

- it scared me so much and poor Tally tried to save her 😔

- ya'll get what THIS means right??

- Scylla and willa are gonna HAVE to go get her

- there's no way they won't

- I'm 100% not ready for next week but I want it sooo bad

[the-kipsabian]

i saw a post that reminded me that i was supposed to do this so heyyyyy have some asagao!mads backstory angst woo

➭ k so its not. a secret that shes a transfer student tbh. the reason she would give out about wanting to go to an expensive school across the world tho would always just be cause of their art programs, and especially the creative writing aspect of it

➭ and while this is true, well. its not the whole truth tbh. surprise surprise nobody saw that one coming

➭ tbh its an. escape for mads. to get a new start. in a place so far away theres no chance anyone will know her, the people who knew her will forget her by the time she might come back, but also most importantly an escape for her to get to a place where she doesnt know anybody. in hopes that she can start EVERYTHING all over again

➭ cause she has issues. anxiety obviously, i mean have you seen this tired sleep deprived little thing tho? she needs to get to an environment where she might be able to avoid bullying finally (tho.. we know how well that goes for the first year tbh), by starting fresh and reinventing herself as well, so nobody will have any idea what she was like in the past at all. not to mention the family problems

➭ cause in there, really, nobody believes in her? this girl in the familys eyes, will never be much of anything. everything she tries is done so much better by everyone else. she has no hope here. and her dreams of wanting to do anything creative with her life? instantly shot down ➭ so why does a family that is this determined that she isnt going to become anything sending her so far away to such an expensive school just because its going to help with her dreams that nobody believes in? cause honestly? mads puts in all the work herself. she learns japanese (in spite of esp her brother who tells her even more so than the parents that its useless and she will never learn) by herself to participate in the school, saves what little she can get from stuff like summer jobs etc., to pay for some things... she just. tries really hard to show that this is what she wants to do. just because she wants to, obviously her family isnt aware of all her other reasonings for this whole dealio

➭ and by working hard and. im kinda headcanoning that even tho she obviously isnt the greatest student, but she works probably way too hard for it just to show she can do it, she has. some kind of a scholarship or grant or something to help her eventually get there. cause lord knows her family aint putting any money into this endeavor of hers, not only cause they are relatively poor as it is, but cause this is nonsense. eventually they just. kinda have to let her go tho cause she applied to the school and got accepted and paid for all the things so yup. this girl is going to japan freaking bye

➭ the odd hair colors also play into this somewhat, as. they are a coping mechanism for her tbh. again, with the background of bullying and the ignorance at home, its just. basically a cry for help. that she wouldnt admit, again cause mads just. doesnt like talking about her issues pretty much at all with anyone (also why nobody knows about any of this. they hardly get the bullying thing out of her until she has actual visible bruises or a black eye or something to prove that something happened to her. she hasnt even told kit about her issues at home tbh, for no real reason. she just. doesnt like sharing it)

➭ also none of this goes really as planned from the get go, as as soon as she gets to the campus grounds, shane is the first person she runs into - and ofc her not speaking japanese when he overhears her for the first time and then having this ridiculously colored hair (as at the time its blue), he just. doesnt deal with it very well. and makes it very obvious to her too. so yep mads is back into dealing with asshole with shenanigans again and this is. exactly what she wanted to avoid by coming over here tbh. which is why she has hard time forming really any type of relationship with shane tho tbh

[hazyheel]

WWE Monday Night Raw 5/27/19 Review

We started with a touching tribute to soldiers on Memorial Day, and the first arena shot had a “We remember the fallen” sign, and a huge USA chant from the crowd. Really touching.

Kofi Kingston was out first, and they recapped his attack from Ziggler last week. He cut a promo about how Kevin Owens re injured Big E (he was never healed really), and then Ziggler attacked him. Kingston wasn’t finished, but he was here for Lesnar. He wanted to fight Lesnar, and asked him to cash in tonight, but was met with Seth Rollins. He said the same thing, and asked Brock to announce who he would cash in on. Brock actually came out, with a boombox? Idk, his briefcase had speakers. That might be cool if it was Kofi, but Lesnar should be intimidating. They played both of the champions music as Lesnar kinda looked at them. Seth actually walked out during that part. Heyman said that Rollins walked out on the Brock Party, which was funny. He then said that they wouldn’t announce who they would cash in on. As Lesnar left, Ziggler ran out and attacked once again. 

Grade: D+. I don’t care about this, I really don’t. Brock looked kinda dumb, and I am bummed out that they wasted the Money in the Bank briefcase as a boombox gimmick on Brock. That is clever. I don’t want him to say who he will cash in on, that ruins the fun of it. I just don’t care.

Ziggler hit a zig zag on the steel, and was gonna beat him with a chair, but Xavier Woods ran out for the save. Refs were escorting Kingston away, and Ziggler attacked Woods and they brawled on the ramp. The fought around the fans, even hitting a camera guy with a garbage can on accident. Ziggler beat Woods with a chair for quite a while, and was gonna injured the neck with a chair, but Kingston ran back out, so Ziggler retreated, and then cut a promo. He just told Kingston to celebrate for the next 11 days, because he has been a great champion, and Ziggler will take it from him, because it always should have been his. He said that he knew how good Kingston was, but it doesn’t matter, because it will finally be his time at Super Showdown. He sounded crazy, it was awesome. 

Grade: B. This was a much better opening segment. It didn’t feel filler (although that brawl was long for a reason), it didn’t feel like a normal Raw opening by being a 20 minute promo to set up a match, it was just a crazy brawl. They hyped up the WWE Championship match for Super Showdown, and the promo was really good. I like this Ziggler, and I don’t know what they will do with him after the show next Friday, but i hope he is still used. 

Backstage, The Usos were having a Memorial Day cookout. They wished Nattie a happy birthday. They said that the Revival was the only team not invited. Then they yelled a bit and continued. I wasn’t sure why they did this until I noticed that Drake Maverick had some R-Truth wanted posters. I think I see where this is headed. 

Backstage, Charly interviewed Shane McMahon about a match that he had later tonight. He didn’t really say anything about it, and walked to the ring with McIntyre, who deserves more than Shane’s heavy. 

Shane then went out, cut a promo about respect, and how Roman Reigns didn’t understand it. Cuz he beat up Vince. They did the whole “attacking the father” thing, which is so on the nose. He said that Reigns was disrespecting the Samoan wrestling family, the Anoa’i’s. I think I spelled that right. Shane said that he’d fight one of the members of that family. I guess it was Lance Anoa’i, who I’d never heard of, so I don’t know if he is really a wrestler, or related to Roman. McIntyre beat the crap out of him, and he could sell. Shane then told them to ring the bell. There was a shocking amount of back and forth in this match, but Shane won mercifully with a triangle. After the bell, they lazily continued to beat him up while Shane ran his mouth. Reigns then ran out, took McIntyre down with one superman punch, and almost had a spear for Shane, but McIntyre pulled him away, and they ran backstage.

Grade: F. Yeah, the best part of this match was a kick that Lance threw, so that should explain how bad this was. The whole “embarassing his family” thing is a clever angle, but Shane really wouldn’t shut up this entire time, and it really ruined it. This may have been more entertaining if there was more energy, and Shane just stopped cutting a promo as he beat Lance up. This was very poor execution to a mediocre idea. Good stuff to Lance though, he held his own and managed to be a likable face in an awful position. 

Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman came out again. Heyman said that Lesnar was gonna cash in right now, so Rollins came out. Rollins screamed at Lesnar for not caring about the championship and said that he was a joke. Lesnar shut up after that. Rollins tore him to the ground and called him a coward. Rollins told him to cash it in. Heyman then read the contract aloud, but Lesnar stopped him dead in his tracks when he said that Lesnar had a year to cash in. I guess lesnar didn’t know that. Lesnar told Rollins to screw himself, and left. Ugh

Grade: D-. Okay, so slightly better than the segment before, because Rollins actually had a good promo. But this makes Lesnar look stupid, and is a stupid segment. I’m glad that they didn’t announce anything, but why did Lesnar not know the stipulations of the briefcase? Rollins cashed in on him in 2015, you’d think that he may have cared a bit when he was the champion. Lesnar should definitely know. And this was the second time in one episode that they, for lack of a better term, cucked us for a cash in, and not in the fun way that it usually happens. I hate Lesnar. But again, Rollins was good. It would probably rank quite a bit higher if I didn’t hate this so much.

As this was all ending, R-Truth and Carmella came bolting through with the 24/7 championship, with like 7 guys coming at him. Cedric Alexander missed a splash and took out Eric Young and someone else. Truth also dodged a charging Karl Anderson, and he just nailed the barricade. I like this, it is just fun to have little stupid bits like this to break stuff up. 

Backstage, Charly talked to AJ Styles about why he wouldn’t be in a #1 contenders fatal 4-way elimination match for the Universal Championship. Styles said that he hurt himself at Money in the Bank. He was talking, and Baron Corbin attacked him. So this is where things were going last week.

Then we had a match between Becky Lynch and Nikki Cross against The IIconics. Cross was attacked by the heels for most of the match. At one point, Graves said that Lynch was busy, and Young asked how Graves knew her schedule, and he just said that he also worked there. Becky got the hot tag and beat everyone up. Becky had Royce locked in Disarmer while Cross attacked Cay on the outside, but Royce rolled her up for two. Lynch then hit the MANhandle slam, which was just an STO for the win. Lacey Evans then came out, and did nothing, just like the old days. But Cross had to hold Lynch back.

Grade: D+. I feel like I’m being pretty harsh now, but I don’t think this deserves more than this. The work was far below average, I have no clue why the IIconics lost, because Evans coming out at the end would have made much more sense as a distraction for Lynch, so that the IIconcis could beat up Cross. I don’t think the IIconics have won a match since the Raw after Mania. And now this random tag team has claim to a title shot, and I really think that they should win, because I have grown to hate the IIconics. Unless they are on commentary, that is fun.

Back at the barbecue, Tamina and Naomi were about to fight but then hugged. Weird face turn for Tamina. The Revival then showed up too, and they were being assholes. I guess Naomi invited them, because they need to settle their differences. What better place to do it than at the block party, she asked. In the ring, in a real feud, I thought. They acted like they would have fun, but they clearly wouldn’t, cuz of a very manly handshake that was dumb. 

Next up was Ricochet vs. Cesaro in a rematch from last week. Ricochet immediately had the advantage with a spike rana, and then a flip off Cesaro’s chest into an ensiguri (Ospreay style) and a suicide dive. Cesaro stretched out Ricochet’s back, and worked it over with throws and suplexes. Ricochet was able to fight him off, nearly hitting the 630, but Cesaro dodged and hit a huge European uppercut. At one point, Cesaro went for a powerbomb and Ricochet countered into a sunset flip. In the finish, Ricochet fell out of the ring, but was safe on his feet. Cesaro had his back to him, against the ropes, so Ricochet did a handstand on the apron and grabbed Cesaro’s head with his feet and pulled himself up for a spike Rana and the win.

Grade: B+. Finally, something good. I bumped the score up a grade because of the cool spot in the finish, but it was still a really fun match. These guys make magic together, and I hope they are given more time at some point to put on a really great match, because this is not even the best they can do. I like this mini feud. Match of the night.

The announcers said that next week, Rey Mysterio will have to relinquish his US Championship due to injury. That sucks. As they talked about it, Samoa Joe came out and cut a promo. He said that he will be waiting to take back his title.

At the block party, the announcers desperately tried to make a game of cornhole between The Usos and Revival seem intense. Maybe I had played cornhole too recently, but it is not an intense game. No one would crowd around a game of cornhole. That being said, it was funny to see everyone overacting. 

Members of the fatal 4-way elimination match said why they would win the match. Strowman’s was weird tho, cuz his music hit in the middle of his little promo, and he also threatened Bobby Lashley, then congratulated Miz on having another baby girl, and then threatened Baron Corbin, all in the same tone of voice. The heels immediately teamed up on Strowman, taking him out and then beating down the Miz. At one point, the heels double suplexed Strowman onto the stage. Lashley hit Miz with the delayed vertical suplex, but Miz kicked out. I guess that isn’t his finisher anymore. When Miz was attacking Lashley in the corner, he used running knees rather than dropkicks, which makes sense. At one point, Lashley avoided a shoulder tackle from Strowman, countering with a flying lariat. Strowman and Lashley brawled into the crowd, so Miz and Corbin brawled a bit. They beat each other up a bit, before Corbin hit the end of Days and eliminated the Miz. Now, here is the stupid part: that was the end of the match. If you are confused because there wasn’t any mention of other eliminations, thats becasue this was the first, and it ended the match. I guess Strowman and Lashley just left? What the hell?!? Why not just say that it is a normal match? Why is this so hard?

Grade: C-. There were some fun spots, but the booking was atrocious. Why were Strowman and Lashley in this match if they were already announced for Super Showdown? Couldn’t they have waited to book that match until this one was over with? Why was Miz in this match? He is a Smackdown guy, and he lost at Money in the Bank. Corbin was the only person who was even qualified to win, so he kinda had to go over here. This is just so dumb. Why does this company not care about their own product enough to look at their own rules?

More yelling about cornhole. Then R-Truth showed up, and the party devolved into lots of throwing food and rollups. No table spot, which I thought was a given in this kind of environment. Truth was able to get away. 

Grade for 24/7 stuff: C+. They almost had it right this week, with the wild stuff for the first 24/7 segment. But the block party thing didn’t have the fun little hardcore spots that I expected. Plus, all that is happening is rollups. Lets see some weapons and finishers in weird places. Someone should get hit by a car. Come ooooooooon.

And finally, the Firefly funhouse. One of the only things I look forward to about Raw. Bray said that the mask was called the fiend, and when he embraces that side of him, he can be anything he wants to be. That was in a sinister tone. Abbey the witch said that he was a psycho, and he did some wacky stuff to prove that he isn’t, and then she said “why won’t you let me rest,” which was super creepy and awesome. He said that he wouldn’t, and she said that she didn’t want to be stuck in limbo. So Wyatt did the limbo. 

Grade: B+. Creepy and awesome. I don’t think there is anything more to say.

Then we had a segment called electric chair, where Graves interviewed Sami Zayn, no holds barred style. The questions are apparently from the WWE Universe, and nothing is off limits, which is super untrue, in just about every way. Someone asked about his retirement date, so Zayn said that his parents must be brother and sister, cuz they are in Kansas. Someone else asked if he missed Becky Lynch from the Mixed Match challenge, and he just said she had a stupid question, and that her parents are bad. Someone asked how it felt when Strowman destroyed him, so he said that he wanted to kick the guys ass. The only reason that he wouldn’t beat him up, was because he would be tied up in legal troubles. He also said that that guy should be grateful for that not happening, because healthcare in america sucks. Another guy asked why he hasn’t won the Universal Championship, and he said that he could win it whenever he wanted. He insulted everyone for not asking good questions, like stuff about AEW, and the crowd popped. So thats why they did this segment, to pretend like they don’t give a damn about AEW. Of course they do, thats why they brought it up. Graves then tried to speak about the Universal Championship, but the crowd were still freaking out about AEW. Rollins came out to fight with him, and Zayn backed off. 

Grade: B-. Yeah, so the mention of AEW shows why they did this segment. But it was actually funny. Zayn is good at being an asshole to fans who can’t cut a promo like he can. It was clear that the last guy wanted to ask something better than he asked, because he cracked up and stopped. But it was during this segment that I found out why they changed the lighting during the third hour. It’s supposed to be a grittier part of the show. I guess that’s why there was a no DQ match last week, but saying AEW and having new lighting doesn’t make the show better. 

Then we had Rollins vs. Zayn. Zayn ran away for a bit, then they locked up. Rollins was in a pissy mood, and he attacked Zayn viciously. At one point, Rollins hurt his knee on a suicide dive, and that stopped him from delivering a buckle bomb to Zayn. Zayn hit a vicious DDT for a near fall. Zayn then targetted that knee. As Rollins went for a curb stomp, Zayn dodged it which hurt his leg more, and then he locked in a figure four. Seth fought out of it, and Rollins tried to hit a frog splash off of one leg, but Zayn got the knees up for a near fall. Rollins was able to get a curb stomp as Zayn entered the ring, but he couldn’t capitalize. Rollins just hit another one and won.

Grade: B. Good match, but it felt like just another Raw match. Plus, no way Zayn was winning this. 

Overall Grade: C.

Pros: Ziggler attack and promo; cesaro vs. ricochet; firefly funhouse; electric chair; main event

Cons: Lesnar being stupid 1; shane vs. lance; lesnar being stupid 2; lynch & cross vs. IIconics; #1 contendership

[twiststreet]

Black Panther (2018): this is a movie about a charismatic superhero played by a movie star with a tragic origin who tries to save the world from the forces of evil, until he’s murdered at the end by the Marvel superhero Black Panther.  

There’s a lot that’s confusing about this one-- the most confusing thing obviously being how Black Panther could look at America and be like, “We need to save Oakland first.”  Every-fucking-body who’s ever been to Detroit is looking at that and going “Prince Akeem done goofed.”  My favorite actor in the movie is whoever decorated Guy-Who-Barks-Like-DMX’s apartment because I want to fucking live there so bad, with the bones hanging from the ceiling and the fur coats and all that shit-- DMX’s interior decorator didn’t need virbanium -- he had good taste and/or a bald Grace Jones girlfriend helping him that he took all the credit away from.  (In my head canon, he also did all the art they had up in Science Girl’s labs, which I was also super-into but slightly less so than DMX’s bone foyer).  

I don’t know-- I saw this after it got anointed the biggest movie ever, so there were definitely times where I was like “Really?  Her?”  In particular, when you watch the movie go from Black Panther debating what to do about Jake Lloyd some kinda shit with the Jedi Council into the scene from the LIon King where he talks to James Earl Jones some guy who’s eye got jacked up by a Madbomb, before heading to the bar from Skyfall in order to blah blah blah car chase from every single Marvel movie... There were definitely times where I was sitting there going “Well, white people stole everything from Little Richard anyways, so you should let this shit slide.” 

There was creative stuff at the end, though, or little bits that felt like a bigger and better movie in there at the end, where I felt like “Oh okay, I get it now” even though when I’m referring to the end, I’m referring to the end of Iron Man, which this just was, again-- to a disappointing degree because they’d done such a good job setting up the villain (who was apparently Wallace from the Wire???) and giving Wallace from the Wire a way cooler look (in particular when he has the headmask on), that when they Iron-Man-ed him, that was kind of a bummer. Or I was like “oh here comes a big payoff to a set-up” when they were falling towards these doo-dads that they’d setup earlier, like they were moving towards some kinda Shane Black-y big payoff moment, and then they ... just really didn’t payoff on that shit at all, at least not in any kinda impressive or satisfying way at least.  (I couldn’t even understand the moment where the good guy beat the bad guy too good, like, geographically, but...).  But that aside, the movie really landed the 3rd act, so I can kinda make sense of why people are into it from that.  It was a little weird to me how much more invested I was in whether the bald girl and Get Out would manage to keep dating than any other thing happening in the movie whatsoever, but maybe that’s not how regular audiences reacted, I guess...

I never really got into any afrofuturism though and I think that’s the bit where thse movie shines.  Like, having a big budget afrofuturistic action adventure movie ... like, yeah, that sounds fucking rad, that sounds like a thing that should exist in the world, so the world embracing that feels good even if I got doubts about the movie.  It didn’t look as cheap as shit as the other Marvel movies-- like, it felt like they’d hired a real director for a change, on the visual side, even if the building blocks he was playing off of all felt ... very done before.  I’d never gotten around to Creed or anything so I didn’t go in with any expectations there, but compared to that hulk vs. thor movie that looked like fucking shit, it was a huge improvement (though god, that shot where a bunch of people are just standing around on an impossible to climb rock so they can watch Black Panther drink Nickelodeon slime out of a mortar really bugs me-- why wouldn’t the advanced civilization learn how build a fucking arena rather than make assholes climb up a fucking rock?  They have vibranium-- if you handed me vibranium, the last fucking thing I’m doing is bouldering???).

This was a weird one to watch after all the hooplah about it though, including the weird political people that had to weigh in to score points with the dog-whistle racists.  Especially because that’s a character I’ve never had any use for and the movie inherently can’t fix the biggest problem with it, which is it’s inherently a pro-monarchy concept.  My family/people didn’t really make out so hot with monarchies, we kinda had to take steps to get rid of that shit, so I’ve never been a big fan...?  I mean, I’m no expert on blood diamonds or whatever, but a dictatorial monarchy that took power by dominating a bunch of other tribes and thereafter assuming control over access to a precious natural resource, in Africa -- that just sounds like dicey shit to fucking be like “What if the dictator were good and gave to charity tho” about. I think that’s an issue with Black Panther that’s just not solvable, but i haven’t read most any of those comics, so maybe folks have tried and I just didn’t read that shit.  It didn’t entirely undercut the pleasure of it to me which was more... first and foremost, it was the world-building, then just seeing Wallace from the Wire completely land his performance, and ... yeah, I guess it’s pretty impossible not to at least be hopeful that these kinds of images can be used by people in positive ways, too.  I don’t know-- not really my thing, but a nice try, at least.  Nothing I minded watching.

[ajokeformur-ray]

@theoriginalgodsgirlrachel

Little things about me: I love the beach, and kinda feel connected to it. Not just the sand and ocean itself, but everything else? The little towns, the beaches in the middle of nowhere, city-side beaches, the shops and places to eat, if I fall in love with the atmosphere of a place it's most likely because it's by the sea 💕 I love peaches~ And baked apples ^_^ And bananas and chocolate (together~) And STRAWBERRIES~!! I love pastel colored bikes, and The Golden Hour, and Good Vegan Comfort Food tm, and tea (rose, or English Breakfast~) + a fire and a cozy blanket on a rainy day. (Which I also love~ ^_^ ☔️) I adore all the seasons too much to have a favorite, but my favorite transition is summer to fall 💚💛❤️ And PEONIES~!! 💖💖 And pink/blue/burgundy hydrangeas~💖💙 And pink/white/yellow/orange roses~✨ And my birth flower, Lilly of the Valley 💚) I listen to/adore far too many kinds of music to list any, but if I could list one kind that I feel like would sort of 'describe' the kind of person I am? It would 100% be In Love with A Ghost, on YouTube 💗 I'm very close to the LGBT community in general, and because of that, while I certainly still have a faith, I am absolutely not religious. I'm a total geeky nerd who loves to learn scientific theories and combine them with what my religion says happened/may have happened, purely for the fun of it~. Like how people would make theories over a new chapter of Black Butler would, lol. I am not at all close to either of my parents. Though I AM closer to my mother. But not by much. I've always been in love with ice skating. Professionals look so stunningly graceful and powerful, and I want to strive for that kind of beauty too, even if it's just as a hobby~ 💖 Art is my life. My drug addiction. The air I breathe. I am literally not good enough at anything else to do it as a job without at least sinking into daily depression. And I've always loved it for as long as I can remember~ Since I could walk, practically✨ I'm forever hooked on the process of creating something out of nothing~ (Though artists and depression both run in my dad's side of the family, and unsurprisingly I have occasional bouts of it as well. Vitamin B helps tons tho~ ^_^) I hate confrontation, so I'm a very forward person, though that doesn't mean I'm harsh unless I have to be~!! If I like you, I'll tell you💕 If I can't stand you, you'll get ignored. If you ask if I don't like you, I won't beat around the bush. And if you don't like what you heard, quite frankly, I won't care. Because you asked. It takes a lot of pushing for me to have any kind of extreme reaction over something. Unless you're someone I actually love, then it usually instantly distresses me. It hurts me to leave the people I'd take a bullet for if they're suddenly being incredibly toxic, but I'll do so if I know I have to, and I couldn't fix it.If I love you and I'm no longer shy about it bc you know/feel the same, HOLD ME BACK!!! I might be kinda shy at expressing it at first till I get used to/comfy being romantic with you, but eventually I'll just??? Love you to death??? Listen I'm polyamorous, I literally have all the love in the world to give 💖 If a partner told me they were ever feeling less loved than another, I'd set everything else to the side immediately, and smother them in love and kisses until all those doubts and feelings went away again 💕💕 I'd straight up die for you, wether to save you or be with you forever 💗💗 However, I'm also very much a "my good impression once lost is lost forever", kind of person. I take my T I M E to give you all of my heart. And if you mistreat it, or break it, you lose it. Even if it's slowly. You won't get it back. Fortunately, I know my own self worth and it's taken a long time for me to find it. And no one is an exception to that. Not my parents, not family or friends, and certainly not lovers. I AM A VERY SUPER SILLY PERSON WHEN YOU GET TO KNOW MEEEE~!! Srsly my humor consists of Shane Dawson, Tana Mongue, and Markiplier (roughly). And also Tumblr tbh. So~ If I'm being silly/loud with you in a happy way, and still have down-to-earth moments with you, you can have no doubt I like you a lot and feel like I can be myself with you 💕💕

- Sebastian would take you to the beach as often as he could get away with. It doesn’t matter if Ciel is expecting him back at the Manor soon, he’s gonna take the scenic route and take you to the beach. You’d be nestled in his arms and he’d carry you there. He’d give you a few minutes to just soak it up, drink it in, and then you’re back in his arms, being rushed with his demon speed back to the Manor. Ciel can smell the sea air on you and knows what happened but pretends that he doesn’t know. He wants that beautiful smile on your face just as much as Sebastian does.

- Sebastian would always bake you your favourite things, whch mostly includes all the fruits you love! Every now and then he’d gift you with expensive chocolates that he’d likely made himself. Chocolate covered strawberries are a favourite; he loves feeding them to you. Chocolate dipped bananas are also a favourite and he makes sure that if you have a banana split, you have plenty of chocolate sauce to keep you content. He would berate you sometimes if you eat too many sweets in one go but he loves seeing you happy and turns a blind eye when your sweet tooth is raging.

- On days when it rains and there’s not much on your schedule, he’d come to you when you’ve done what you need to, a blanket tucked under his arm, some good books and a pot of fresh tea. Then, with the rain lashing against the windows, he lights a fire and the two of you get comfortable. His fingers naturally find their way into your hair and he gently untangles any knots as he goes. He’s so careful that you don’t feel him there.

- A little section of his garden, next to Ciel’s favourites, are peonies and hydrangeas in your favourite colours. He cuts one off, every day, and puts it in your hair or on your clothes. Sometimes, you’ll even wake to one on your pillow with a small handwritten note telling you that he loves you.

- Just like I wrote in your commissioned oneshot, you can bet your ass that Sebastian makes you an ice rink during winter on the Phantomhive grounds and you can bet that he goes with you each and every time and will even fashion you your very own custom made ice-skates. No expense spared and even Ciel might have a go, though he stops when Sebastian begins picking him up and throwing him around xD Sebastian would tell you that you’re beautiful when skating even when you stumble, and when you fall he will catch you in that flawless way with a wink and a, “I promised to always catch you should you fall, did I not?” and a dipped kiss.

- He loves your artistry and your devotion to creativity and he’d buy you parchments and the like that you need in order to draw. He’d get you absolutely whatever you wanted and wwouldn’t ever let anyone or anything impose on your drawing time. He also heavily appreciates your straight-forwardness when dealing with confrontation and finds it amusing how you will straight up ignore someone who’s being rude to you or someone ou know. 

- He knows well just how much you love him and though he’s alwas busy, he gives you a few moments each and every day to smother him in hugs and kisses. Believe me, he’ll return it to you in kind. You know what you want and how to get it, and you know your own worth and where you stand. This sureness about where you fit in the world fills him with pride and I know that he would tell you every time you stand up for yourself that he’s proud of you, aware of how much effort it can sometimes take to be so strong.

- Sometimes, when you’re chilled and relaxing with a film or you’re happy and chirping at him, he’ll grin wide enough to show his fangs just to hear you gush and fawn over them. He never doubts your love for him, not even for a second, and he makes sure that anyone who even tries to put similar doubts in yor head will be mentally and physically destroyed. No one upsets you, and he makes sure that you know just how much you mean to him. Your life may be fleeting, but he’ll be damned if he lets you spend even a second feeling bad about loving him.