#this is unrelated to ep 7 i just thought of this post and had to make it

[kayotic-catgirl]

"why did you start shipping sam and celia so fast—" because alice dyer is never wrong. next question.

[astonishinglegends]

Ep 209: The Phantom Horse of Greensboro

And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.

– Revelation, Chapter 6, Verse 8, King James Version

Description:

Many of us have taken an adventurous expedition to check out some local, notorious spot to see if we could witness or sense some evidence of a past famous or infamous incident.  Most of the time, one only returns with a minor anecdote or pictures of an ordinary location bereft of anything noteworthy.  The more realistic purpose is not so much to find a ghoulish memento but to imagine what it must've been like to have been there when it happened.  But what if such an outing starts with strange coincidences and ends with the adventurers enduring a paranormal event seemingly unrelated to the original incident?  This is the sort of tale we'll hear from our good friend, graphic designer, and illustrator Tommy Beaver about the time some friends went to check out the scene of a horrific crime that happened in Summerfield, North Carolina, almost 13 miles northwest of Greensboro.  On June 3, 1985, the incident in question occurred when at the end of a murder spree and police pursuit, Fritz Klenner and his first cousin, lover, and accomplice, Susie Newsome Lynch, ended their standoff detonating a bomb in their Chevrolet Blazer.  Klenner and Lynch had blown themselves up along with Lynch's already deceased two sons who were in the vehicle rather than face arrest.  The site of this shocking finale was what the friends were hoping to explore, but their souvenir was an unsettling experience they'll never forget.  Strangely, a mysterious white horse suddenly appeared to encounter the group, except that this creature may not have been a horse at all.  Many people have claimed to see a spectral white horse, and the ancient Britons believed a sacred white horse was one's ride to the afterlife.  Yet these friends may forever wonder, as will we, what was the connection of this beast to the tragedy if there is one?  And if this wasn't a horse as we know it, what sort of monster haunts the location of one of North Carolina's most ghastly crimes?

Location:

The intersection of Strader Road & North Carolina State Road 150 in Summerfield, near where Fritz Klenner and Susie Newsom Lynch blew themselves up in their Chevy Blazer after a crime spree and police pursuit on June 3, 1985, and where Tommy’s friends saw the mysterious “horse.”

Location Video:

Reference Links:

Illustrator and Graphic Designer Tommy Beaver’s website, tommybeaverdesign.com

“Summerfield slaughter 30 years ago ended in deaths of couple, two sons” from the Greensboro News & Record

Bitter Blood: A True Story of Southern Family Pride, Madness, and Multiple Murder, a novel by Jerry Bledsoe, 1988

The púca, pooka, phouka of Irish/Celtic folklore

The kelpie of Scottish folklore

“Horses in Celtic Mythology” from Transceltic.com

“Have ghost HORSES been captured on video? Teenagers believe they spotted ethereal equine scene at one of Britain's most haunted sites” from DailyMail.co.uk

“Phantom Horses” on real-british-ghosts.com

Related Books:

Please help out our good friend Stan Gordon, by purchasing his books on Amazon and Barnes & Noble – you’re gonna love ‘em!

At Barnes & Noble:

Silent Invasion: The Pennsylvania UFO-Bigfoot Casebook

Astonishing Encounters: Pennsylvania’s Unknown Creatures, Casebook 3

Really Mysterious Pennsylvania: UFOs, Bigfoot, and Other Weird Encounters, Casebook 1

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Credits:

Episode 209: The Phantom Horse of Greensboro. Produced by Scott Philbrook & Forrest Burgess; Audio Editing by Sarah Vorhees Wendel. Sound Design by Ryan McCullough; Tess Pfeifle, Producer, and Lead Researcher; Research Support from the astonishing League of Astonishing Researchers, a.k.a. The Astonishing Research Corps, or "A.R.C." for short. Copyright 2021 Astonishing Legends Productions, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

[bettsfic]

march pinned: ending the sex project

in the march edition of my lowkey writing-related newsletter, in addition to my writing-related post roundup and upcoming consultation availability, i have personal essay recommendations and a segment on the definition of a project!

for more information on my creative coaching services, check out my carrd.

if you want to receive my lowkey writing-related newsletter directly, you can subscribe here.

full newsletter below the cut, or you can read it here.

fuck february, amiright?

i thought january was bad. but february. february was the stuff of nightmares. my cousin passed away from covid (you can read about her here; she was really an amazing person and i feel so lucky to have known her). i was finally formally diagnosed with PCOS (bittersweet, i guess). my car broke down. i took two (2) days off and it took me two and a half weeks to get caught up again. i can only hope march treats us all a little more gently.

the good news is, i finished revisions on my short story collection to send to my agent, finished workshop submissions for the semester, and now i can return to my first love, fanfiction. that i am constantly working through original fiction to return to fanfiction has been making me think a lot about the nature of a creative, capital-p Project. so, this month’s BTALA (been thinkin a lot about) is going to inspect the concept of a “project.”

new resource

last month i unveiled a folder of my favorite short stories which i’m pleased to hear several of you have perused and gotten some inspiration from. this month i’ve compiled my favorite personal essays. there are fewer essays than there are short stories because i’ve broken them into two groups: personal and craft. next month i hope to have the craft essays compiled.

i’m always looking for more things to love, so if you have recommendations for your favorite short stories and essays, i’d be happy to hear them!

writing-related posts

how to physically maneuver the revision process

the difference between M and E ratings of fic

resources for worldbuilding (check out the reblogs for more!)

a couple syntax/prose book recs

how to break a long work into chapters

march availability

unfortunately i have to cut my coaching hours down a bit, so i don’t have any openings left in march, but i have some availability in april. if you’re interested in a writing consultation, please fill out this google form!

you can learn more about my services on my carrd.

what i’m into rn

for the past year, i’ve basically been trapped in a 10x10 room, and my health is definitely reflecting that, both mentally (does anyone else feel like they’re living in groundhog day? just, every day being exactly the same except fractionally worse than the day before??) and physically (i reorganized the kitchen and could barely move for two days).

reader, i have discovered something called “walking,” in which i put on real human shoes and go outside. it feels strange, bestial. neighbors wave hello to me. a harrowing experience.

while doing this, this walking, i’ve been listening to the lolita podcast which a friend recommended to me, a ten-episode series that dives into everything lolita: the novel itself, its context, adaptations, greater cultural responses, and — as a sticker on my laptop says — vladimir “russian dreamboat” nabokov. as far as i can tell it seems well-researched and presents the many perspectives of lolita in a fair way. i’m only a few eps in, but i’m entranced so far. highly recommended if you, like me, have a complicated relationship with lolita.

i’ve also found myself mildly addicted to a mobile otome game called obey me, which. look i know it’s like the definition of cringe but it’s also mind-numbingly fun and if i want to spend my minimal free time pretending 7 demon brothers are all vying for my affection then that’s between me and god. it’s a lot of what i loved about WoW: frequent events, bright colors, a daily to do list of simple but satisfying tasks, many many rewards, and it doesn’t take itself very seriously. and if i have 4k fic written of mammon/reader that’s nobody’s business but mine and my longsuffering ao3 subscribers.

i’m telling you this because i don’t know anyone else who plays it and am desperate to trade headcanons. so if you play, or start playing, hit me up!! i will give u mad tips and daily AP.

been thinkin a lot about

the project. the project. even the word “project.” PROject (noun). proJECT (verb). what is the project? “project” comes from the latin pro and jacare which means “to throw forward,” or projectum which means “something prominent.” a projector throws forward an image. to project onto something means to throw your perspective onto something else. to embark on a project is to make something prominent in your life. the concept of “the projects” comes from public housing projects, the government throwing forward affordable housing.

what is the project? in joseph harris’ essay “coming to terms” he says that “to define the project of a writer is…to push beyond his text, to hazard a view about not only what someone has said but also what he was trying to accomplish by saying it.” harris’ perspective is that of an english teacher encouraging his students to read critically, not just to summarize a text but to find its project, its greater purpose. and while i first read this essay in a seminar on composition pedagogy, it stuck with me as a writer. it made me reconsider the greater nature of the creative project.

how many of us, if asked to describe our writing project, would begin with a plot or character premise, the nuts and bolts of a specific story? maybe even the working title? but i wonder, is breaking out the plot really the project? is the discipline of sitting down and typing really the project? and when the story is finished, is the project over? what is the project?

in 2019, i wrote 86k words of a novel. i began revising that novel last fall, and i’m finding that i’ll probably keep maybe less than 10k of that initial draft. i’m not bothered by that. the novel i wrote before that started at 125k, then i rewrote the entire thing to 200k, then i whittled it back down to 160k, and next i’ll be tasked with paring it back down to 80k. i’m not bothered by that either. in the past five years or so i’ve written about 2 million words, and i’ve only published 20k of them. only 1% of what i’ve written, i’ve published. in the words of lauren cooper (catherine tate), i’m not bothered.

i used to see publication as the birth of the project, and writing it akin to a long gestation period. then i saw publication as the death of the project, and its life was lived in its drafting. now, publication seems irrelevant to the project. the confines of a story and its many revisions are also irrelevant to the project. the beginning of a story is not the start of the project and the end of the story is not the end of the project. the project is larger than the story, its revisions, its publication, and its eventual readership.

i think it took me so long to see this because for so many years i was still in my first project, the sex project, an exploration of trauma and sexual identity, which began in 2014 with destiel fanfiction, endured through many fandom shifts, my MFA, years adrift as an adjunct, all the way through 2020 with the completion of my short story collection. i used to wonder how anyone could write about anything other than sex. to me it was the only topic worth my attention. i was certain that i would spend my entire life being a sex writer and i’d never find fulfillment writing a young adult sci fi adventure or a highly literary novel about complicated family dynamics. i was baffled by people who were interested in other things, who could write entire novels without using the word “cock” even once.

then my sex project ended. i don’t know when exactly it happened or why, but suddenly i realized i never wanted to write another artful description of an orgasm or find a tactful euphemism for a vagina ever again (personally i prefer “wet cunt” because not only is it blunt, i find it phonetically pleasing). obviously i’m still writing explicit fanfic but it doesn’t feel the same as it used to. sex feels more sidelined to me, even if it’s still the center and drive of a fic. i no longer get any personal satisfaction from writing it, although i do get satisfaction in sharing the work for readers to enjoy.

it’s like i’ve somehow solved the biggest puzzle of my life. or i guess made peace with my meanest monster, that extremely complicated double-mind of desire that some non-sex-repulsed asexuals feel: you want to feel desire you can’t actually feel so you write it into fiction, to try to understand this thing you can’t have and which society tells you you’re missing, and you don’t even know if you don’t have it, because you still feel desire for affection and intimacy, and maybe even a desire to be desired. and for those of us who are asexual and have c-ptsd, sex you don’t actually want (but don’t know you don’t want, because maybe you’re ambivalent and mildly curious and touch-starved) and an unrelenting drive toward people-pleasing can be a dangerous combination. how can you ever know what consent is if you always put other people’s desires above your own?

maybe i’m alone in this. maybe i’m not. maybe for most people, wanting sex is a light switch: yes i want it, or no i don’t. but for me, i had to write a whole lot of words to figure out things like desire, consent, intimacy, forgiveness, the shape that good love takes. the lengthy theoretical flowchart of “i might be interested in having sex if this and this and this and this and this happens in this exact order and under these exact circumstances.”

it was hard to write something into reality that i have never seen except in pieces, in subtext i clung to with no lexicon to give it shape and meaning. te lawrence in lawrence of arabia. some of tarantino’s early work. the film benny and joon. and weirdly, the star wars prequels (that one’s hard to explain; i’ll spare you). i don’t think the sex project was about coming to terms with my asexuality as much as it was trying to organize my thoughts and feelings by continuously rendering my own experiences within a greater, shinier ideal — like how you sometimes have to unravel the entire skein of yarn to find the loose end, and only then can you get started.

i guess i’m in the infancy of the power project now. i’m moving toward themes of control, infamy, greatness. the exact circumstances in which atrocity occurs. how people rise into leadership and fall from grace. the consequences of success. i don’t know why this project has come to me, or what, if anything, it has to do with me. i’m not famous and have no intention of becoming famous; i don’t have social power or influence, at least not beyond my little corner of fandom, and i’m not interested in having it. and yet, here we are, already hundreds of thousands of words in.

my fics digging for orchids (tgcf) and a standing engagement (the hunger games) deal with the detriments of fame. and even float (breaking bad) to a degree is about the aftermath of being so close to power. my novel cherry pop, loosely based on macbeth, is about an ongoing power exchange between two teenage girls. my other novel, vandal, is about a girl who believes she has magic powers and casts a spell on her neighbor to fall in love with her. and i’m in the very early stages of a novel called groundswell, a cult story i’ve been wanting to write for years. i had no idea why i couldn’t write it until i realized it wasn’t yet my project. i’m not even to the stage of developing characters, let alone a premise or plot. i’m still just building my aesthetic pile (i discuss the aesthetic pile here, as well as vandal in more detail), watching documentaries on cults, reading books, finding inspiration, marking down ideas as they come. it may be years before i’m ready to sit down and write it.

now that i know what the project is, i have more patience with myself. it doesn’t bother me to rewrite a novel from the beginning, or to scrap novels altogether, because the story isn’t the project. the project cannot be diminished by cutting words, sentences, paragraphs, entire chapters. the project does not have a product. the project cannot be published. the project is in the practice, in dragging the impossibly large into clear, acute existence, so you can see it. so you can see the very center of what you thought was an unknowable thing.

[tarhalindur]

Higurashi Sotsu Ep. 14 Thoughts

Mahou shoujo episode mk. 2: DBZ edition (or possibly Nanoha edition).    Which doesn’t mean the obvious comp doesn’t also apply, Alexa play Agmen Clientum and/or Absolute Configuration.  But the usual source of Parallels(tm) never went as flashy as this visually.

More under the cut:

- I have to retroactively lower my grades for the pacing of last week’s episode: if you’re going to resolve the gunpoint cliffhanger with Satoko just shooting Rika, then my pacing instincts say that *that* is where they should have put the episode break for maximum anticlimax factor.  (Two caveats: you’re losing some metatextual trolling depth, and I’m not sure how well that “Satoko just shot her” episode ending would have gone over after how fucked the rest of Sotsu’s pacing has been.)

- This episode... I think I’m landing on “good, but not good enough to redeem thirteen episodes of bad-to-terrible pacing”.

- The absolutely hilarious thing about this episode is just how many of the English fandom memes it managed to hit, and I can’t tell whether or not it’s intentional.  “REEE I refuse to learn”?  Check.  Chair?  Check.  Giving us a nod to how thoroughly we’ve been getting tired of the festival dance this cour by having Satoko burn it down?  Check.   And the absolute funniest one, because I have on good authority that a few weeks back somebody was either accidentally or intentionally posting DBZ (well, Dragonball Super) threads on the Wretched Hive of Scum and Villainy except the first posts had When They Cry images instead of proper DBZ images... and now the universal response to episode 14 is “we’re going full DBZ”.  Was Ryukishi07 actually that good at predicting the fandom reactions ahead of time?  (If so, Endless Eight lesson still applies.)  Did the creative team keep the episode 14 script flexible enough that they could edit it to react to the memes?  Is the Seventh Dragon Knight actually shitposting about his own franchise on the English-speaking Internet to try to guide the fanbase reaction in a desired direction or something?  Or is it just one of those mind-boggling coincidences (the kind that make me eye the *other* thing I hear about When They Cry on the Wretched Hive, namely the way that it’s apparently gotten some absolutely *massive* gets over the last year or so)?

- Speaking of which... gotta increment the counter by one.

- In unrelated news, PMMM parallels are old hat, it’s Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull reference time now.

- Which admittedly does not mean that the PMMM parallels are gone, mind.  In particular, while the rooftop scene may be straight out of Tsumihoroboshi-hen the size of the full moon is not - it was reasonably sized in DEEN’s version.  Here, not so much:

Rebellion, of course, had exactly this kind of ridiculously large moon for the first three-quarters of the movie.  My “Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni: the Rebellion Story” cursed brain noise take after episode 7 continues to age like fine wine.

(- *nervously eyes plot point for a certain fanfic that hasn’t come into play yet and that I actually hadn’t pieced together until well after I started writing it, eyes something about the context of Rebellion’s moon, then eyes the counter warily*)

(- Also: is Ryukishi07 trying to pull an “explain everything in excruciating detail” as a potshot towards the Japanese fans who hated Umineko’s VN ending *and* another Umineko VN end both at the same time?  Because I very much doubt that this episode is actually happening per se - this has metaphor written all over it.  And I was already seriously entertaining “we are being lied to, everything involving H173 is Witch bullshit and therefore did not actually happen” as it was. And that would be Ryukishi07′s style, he’s always been a very me kind of author in certain ways, though perhaps more me circa a decade ago than me now, and that kind of metatext would be a very me sort of thing to do.  The Wretched Hive has been joking about Battler showing up, but the real joke may be that you, the viewer, are now in Battler’s shoes.)

[sleepymarmot]

The Untamed liveblog, eps. 8-15

8

The rabbit scene was already in the previous episode! What is this editing? Are these episodes from different cuts of the show or something?

Why is it unmanly to hold rabbits? Also DON'T THROW SMALL ANIMALS LIKE INANIMATE OBJECTS FOR FUCK'S SAKE

Ok but I'm getting concerned for these rabbits. Did Yi feed them before? Has WWX been feeding them since then? Are they gonna be alright? This is very important!

Does the phrase that LWJ keeps really mean "How boring"? That doesn't make much sense.

Oh so that's the name of the guy who hangs out with WWX... I've been wondering for several episodes

wtf is happening in the falling petal scene

I'm getting the feeling that a full-sized adventure got condensed into two scenes. WTF does "The Yin Iron deprived the peony, the leading flower, and the true Lady Florist was held in captivity" mean???

Anyway why are you sharing this top-secret info, that even your siblings aren't allowed to know, with a buddy from your class?

Clever trick, Wen Qing!

9

Am I finally getting a back-to-back fight?..

So, if the statues steals people's "spiritual cognition" (=souls?), and the Wen guy making them into puppets was a separate thing, then why did their spiritual cognition return not when the statue was subdued, but when Wen's bird was killed?

Wait, since when does Jiang Cheng know about the Yin Iron?

10

WWX is SO offended someone wants to be more smug and insolent than him

So now they're talking openly about the Yin Iron right in front of those two strangers...

How did they start the conversation at night in one location and continue at daytime at a different location, and not the one where the characters were heading

Seriously who tf calls their castle "The Unclean Realm"

Does Xue Yang's face not get tired from non-stop smirking? Is it frozen like this? Is he this world's Joker?

omg did LWJ just smile at hearing WWX's voice

Alright, when 10 minutes ago I thought "Meng Yao, sweetie, kill that clown", this is not what I had in mind

SOMEBODY GIVE MENG YAO A HUG (after some emergency medical care) HE HAS DONE NOTHING WRONG IN HIS LIFE. Can Xichen adopt him now?

11

Wow, the Jiangs seem to have an actually healthy family relationsh-- *the mother shows up* Uh, nevermind

Why is the Lan Grand Master suddenly dying?

LWJ gave up himself and the Iron shard just to save one traitor?!

I hope everyone enjoys their time in Morrowind! (They obviously won't)

12

*insert a quarantine joke here*

Wow, LWJ switched to the protective mode very unexpectedly (Is that because he just lost his entire clan and therefore the primary subject of his loyalty? and the next in line, to everyone’s surprise, was WWX?)

this beast is the least convincing special effect I've ever seen, including 60s Doctor Who

13

"stranded together and tending to each other's wounds while trying to repress your feelings" in a TV show instead of AO3 makes me feel like I'm in a parallel dimension

for a few wild moments I thought he was going to suck infected blood out of his leg

Just! Do! It! The long fucking stare where he's Considering killed me.

"Let's trigger your crush's PTSD to make him talk about it" and other useful therapy tricks

14

I really didn't get what LWJ was doing in the fight scene. He was describing a technique of killing with strings physically, right, not with the sound they produce? Which made me think he had a spare set of strings on his person, which would have been a refreshing change from all other fictional battle musicians who never carry backup, but from the montage sequence it was pretty clear he just collected bowstrings, and also iirc he summons his guqin anyway. But also it really doesn't look like he accomplished much behind injuring his own hand.

you can have hurt/comfort in both directions, as a treat

dude, just relax and don't try to make it less awkward

a whole-ass flashback to their Meet Cute, no less!

please do not flash back to That One Scene like it was something cute and ruin the whole montage

so he knew the main group escaped, then?

What's the cave timeline? Did it take the two of them several days to prepare the attack on the monster, and after WWX passed out, he hasn't awoken until the rescue, as the editing suggests? Or was there an unseen period of time where WWX and LWJ sat together in a cave, slowly dying from hunger and having no interesting conversations to show whatsoever? The former sounds a ton more convincing, but gathering arrows and bowstrings is a job for several hours, not several days...

I have already written a post about having mixed feelings in response to female characters written in a misogynistic way; here is just another example. Lady Jiang's shrill insults make me want to curl up, cover my ears and close my eyes to hide, or to shout back to chase her away. And at the same time I hate that someone deliberately presented a woman speaking her mind and reasserting her right as a co-lead of the household in an offputting way, to show how she's ruining the family by not being docile and submissive enough. And -- I still don't have anything to like in her to spite the misogynistic writing; should I invent something out of principle, or should I play along with the misogyny game?

As someone more familiar with Japan than China (fantasy or not), it breaks my brain every time I notice people wearing shoes inside lmao

For the first time in this show, after I thought "give him a hug already", a character actually did it on screen

15

After watching 7 episodes in one day, I am finally skipping the opening sequence for the first time

even when the mother fights the bad guys, she somehow does it in a shitty classist way. the purple whip and the combat handmaidens are cool tho

the trio screaming for their father departing to certain death was the first thing in the show to make me cry

kinda wild how the show fluctuates between: 20%: a compilation of time-tested relationship tropes :) 80%: well that was nice while it lasted but back to the plot. HELLO NAUGHTY CHILDREN IT'S PARENT DEATH AND CLAN DESTRUCTION TIME

--

Unrelated to anything above, I'm still hoping for a scene (maybe near the end of the flashback for maximum dramatic irony) where WWX says jokingly to LWJ "Whose funeral have you been dressing for?", with the answer hanging in the air but remaining unsaid: "Yours, Wei Wuxian" (wouldn’t work at the point I’m at rn, for example, because he’s currently mourning his entire clan)

[paperclipninja]

Younger post-ep ramble 6x11

I may be on holiday but if you think that’s going to stop me offloading some thoughts and feelings about this week’s episode of Younger, ‘Holding Out for a SHero’, then you’d be sorely mistaken (any chance to over-think and over-analyse my fave fake reality). In saying that, this will be a briefer version of my usual post-ep ramble, what I shall refer to as Ramble Lite™. There were parts of this episode I really liked and parts I felt disappointed with, but it largely played out in a way that I expected, with the exception of that twist at the end! Hats off to Joe Murphy for that fab misdirection, I may have gasped.

This episode opened with Maggie in her tomato garden looking radiant and Liza filling her in on the decision not to see Josh anymore because it’s complicated and feelings and that undeniable thing called chemistry (or something like that). I applaud Maggie’s consistent use of Chaz (I really hope we get to hear her say it to his face at some point) and Liza stating out loud that she chooses Charles, but this scene also delivered one of the two big moments of disappointment I had in this ep. If anything was ever going to be out of character on this show it would be Liza, a writer and editor, being unable to come up with decent adjectives to describe the man she is supposedly in love with. Yet here she is describing Charles as ‘a peer’ and ‘appropriate’ as reasons for choosing to be with him. For real? I understand the effort to paint him as the sensible choice vs. the less sensible, the head vs. heart, in this triangle that’s been resurrected. This particular way of describing men has always served a clear purpose in the Youngerverse and ngl, my alarm bells went off in episode 7 when Michelle referred to Charles as ‘appropriate’. Liza uses this exact term to describe Richard, the horrendous man Michelle sets her up with in S1E2 who starts reading emails at the dinner table on their date, he’s ‘age appropriate’. She also described Jay as nice, viable, legitimate prospect, sure, but she also sobbed on his shoulder because she was so in love with Charles that her heart was aching at the thought of missing the chance to be with him.

It feels so painfully deliberate, Charles has gone from intellectually invigorating and romantic and been relegated to safe and ‘appropriate’. My disappointment comes from the fact that if this triangle must remain in play, there can be two men who are vibrant and compelling and really different, without painting one as ‘boring’ and one as ‘fun’. Knowing the way Liza talks about the important people in her life, with such admiration and affection, I feel she would at least say Charles is intelligent and romantic or kind or thoughtful or SOMETHING better than being ‘a peer’ and ‘appropriate’. I do believe that as viewers we often form our own interpretations of characters and when they don’t behave the way we imagine we are disappointed, but in this case it’s the disappointment that Liza’s entire reason for being attracted to Charles is being reduced to the idea that it’s sensible when we have been shown this is simply not the case. Phew, glad I got that off my chest (and so much for Ramble Lite™ lol).

Once in the office Liza is running Diana through the wedding planning, which frankly I cannot wait to see all come together. I love that Liza’s already secretly planned a bachelorette party and really does know Diana well enough to know she’ll want one (so many lols @ Diana’s, ‘yes that’s why I was bringing it up, because I don’t want one’ and could Liza look any more pleased with herself that she’s managed to pull the wool over her eyes? Adorbs). Charles arrives looking for Kelsey and is wanting to see how she would like to break the news that he is once again publisher, because that’s how they work now that they’re the dynamic duo and have I mentioned this week how much I LOVED seeing their dynamic last week? Kelsey proves that she has indeed kept her head and announces that Millennial secured a new investor and that Charles is once again in the boss seat and I am once again extremely impressed with Kelsey this season, as is Diana (and honestly if you have the D.Trout stamp of approval, what more do you need?).  I will also never tire of seeing Diana, Kelsey and Liza as true peers and now friends, it’s undoubtedly a highlight of season 6.

The book pitch of the week is extremely timely (as always), a manners for millennials piece that aims to counteract the generation’s greatest shortcomings, such as ghosting exes and not RSVPing to weddings. This episode really did have some stellar lines and the fact that Liza can now drop jokes in meetings, such as her ‘neither was I’ response to the author’s ‘I am not proud to be a millennial’, is the kind of goodness I am here for since the lie is no longer a thing. Naturally Liza and Diana are both very interested in finding out more about these topics and it turns out the best way to get some finality with the ex is to write a good ol’ fashioned Dear John letter (best way to get those RSVP’s -unknown). This is reinforced nicely in Charles’ office, when Liza leaps off Charles’ desk as though she and Charles were caught christening the damn thing (which would’ve been very ok by me and at this point you should know I’m not at all sorry) by Diana bearing flowers and note from Alice the author letting them know she will not be publishing her book with Millennial (so no Charles, the flowers are not for you).  All this talk of how good letters are leads to Liza penning her Dear Josh letter that night, which we only catch a tantalizing glimpse of initially, before the narration and accompanying montage when Josh actually receives it.

While it was only brief, Charles asking Liza how she feels about him being back as publisher and her answering honestly, she just wishes Kelsey hadn’t been unceremoniously stripped of the title, is yet another lovely insight into their relationship. Charles continuing with, ‘what about you, always thinking of others, how do you feel?’, excuse me while I clutch my heart at the sweetness of it all and seriously, does ANYONE ever ask Liza this? The family picture on Charles’ desk is noted and it’s great but I also can’t help but feel it’s somewhat ominous so I’m putting my gush on pause (v. open to being proven wrong on this).

Kelsey and Zane continue to be all over the place, I have so little investment in them as a pairing and I really think it’s because I have simply not seen enough of them together to know whether I care, though I have enjoyed a number of their interactions recently. It also doesn’t help that Zane has been many shades of douche this season. Since professing their love for one another, he is being caring at the start of this week’s ep, apologising and saying he feels partly responsible for Kelsey’s demotion and trying to allay Kelsey’s self-doubt. It is Kelsey who says that she doesn’t know how to do this with Zane and that one of them always loses (the old editors-who-were-peers-and-then-one-became-the-boss-but-now-they’re-peers-again curse), which returns Zane to Douchetown in time for the staff meeting.

I felt for Kelsey, it would be so hard sitting in that first meeting with Charles at the helm again, though him going through all the acquisitions and saying these are a credit to Kelsey’s impeccable instincts was great and necessary. But then Charles brings up the Arabian Seas book and the ‘we’ enters the conversation, along with a list of books that sound like they belong on the bargain shelf because yawn and yes it’s fine that Charles has his own instincts, but Zane in this meeting is awful. Kelsey calls him out, she is clearly and rightfully angry about the unfairness of her entire situation and she warns Charles to, ‘pay attention…and you too Liza. I didn’t have any boundaries at work and look what happened’. I have no idea if this is foreshadowing but I feel like it could be juicy if it was so let’s keep abreast of any future developments (yes that is a boob pun and you’re welcome).

Highlight of this whole scene of course is Liza ripping into the guy and the whole office when Kelsey walks out of the meeting and can hear that her meme has been made into a banger of a tune. We get fearsome Liza schooling the entire room on the fact that Kelsey did get the money, ‘that’s why we all have a job, she’s a goddamn hero’. YESSSSSS Liza *praise hands*. Kelsey in turn agrees to speak at the girls school event that Lauren put to her earlier (yes it IS ok to be angry and Kelsey no longer distancing herself from her social media mistake but using it as a platform to empower others and be a role model…where do I sign?).

Lauren was in ultimate PR and friend mode for Kelsey this week, trying to figure out how to spin Boobgate and trying to see the positive side of all the invitation cancellations. I always say it, I know, but Lauren’s unrelenting advocacy for her friends is absolutely one of her best qualities and her line, ‘you are an example of a woman who made a very simple mistake and the patriarchy seizing that opportunity to tear you down’, was fantastic. She also very much latched onto the SHero theme and I appreciated her use of the word at any given opportunity.

It is as Lauren and Josh are leaving to catch an Uber to Inkburg Midtown that we discover this means he is very relieved Claire doesn’t have to move to LA now. I really don’t get this. I said last week that Josh is far too woke to expect the mother of his child to bail on her career aspiration just so he doesn’t have to move to LA, especially considering he knows the struggle Liza faced in her own career journey after having Caitlin (who you may remember is her daughter…or was. Current status unknown). If we’d seen in their conversation Claire saying that she really doesn’t want to move but she can’t see another way to give Gemma the life she hopes, then ok, Josh finding a way to up his income is ace. So I do hope we find out at some point this was the case, because Josh deciding he’ll get more money so Claire and Gemma can stay for his convenience, it’s just nope.

Though I do have to say that the biggest benefit of Josh securing the Infinitely 21 partnership is getting to see more Shelly because omfg I cannot with her. The way she talks about paint colours, giving her personal number, the line I could not believe I heard, ‘but seriously, Josh, unload on me’ ( I love that this season has seemed censored af compared to previous ones – I don’t love this but you know what I mean- yet lines like this get dropped in. Too good), I am in awe of her complete and unabashed lust for him.

It is between picking paint colours that Josh finds the letter from Liza and it is heart wrenching. And beautiful. The emotion really is palpable as Josh leaves the store to find somewhere to read it once he realises what it is. The flashback montage is certainly something that hasn’t been utilized in the show and it really leaves such an impression. Coupled with the narration of the letter, it really captures the impact of Josh on Liza’s life and Liza’s genuine commitment to make her relationship with Charles work. If this show was wanting to move these characters past this old relationship it would have been a poignant and perfect way to do it. However it plays out in the long run, I thought it was really well done.

The hands down highlight of this entire episode for me was Diana’s bachelorette party. Lauren running at an unsuspecting Diana screaming, ‘get in the Hummer bitch’ is one of the funniest moments of the series, I will be laughing for eternity. Liza reminding Diana that, ‘I get you’, yes she does and I just love everything about seeing these women, all the Younger women, out together. I feel like the focus of this episode really got pulled to the other drama but this is the first time we’ve ever seen every female character of this show together in a room and I feel like THIS IS A BIG DEAL. Maggie schooling Diana on how strip clubs work and SO many brilliant lines, as Diana waves her money in the air only to tell the first stripper, ‘You’re a lot, no thank you’, then ‘Hi, little one’ as she flags another. The hilarity does not stop with Diana, Lauren’s, ‘here’s a fiver, you should smile more’ is every kind of YES (I sense a whiff of Liz Lemon in that line and I approve). As Liza and Kelsey talk about men and work and blah, Diana tries to bring them back to the purpose of the evening, ‘ladies, there are bulging crotches in your faces, can you focus?’. Listen to the Queen people. Yet another Diana wedding related event in which she ends up asking, ‘how did tonight become all about you?’ and I was thinking the same Diva. *Eyeroll*

The Hummer ends up at Inkburg because Lauren wants to help Diana fulfil her wish of doing something she’ll regret for the rest of her life (and obviously the reason they all need to be there is so Liza and Josh can have their post-letter confrontation). They are all so drunk, it’s hilarious and I would watch an entire feature film about the antics of this group while inebriated. Seriously, take my money. From Lauren’s, ‘Get out of the hummer Doana’ to Maggie’s, ‘I forgot we were in a car’, they cover the entire drunk person spectrum. On top of that we have Diana’s penis balloon hat position which just cracks me up because I am 10 but my fave is Diana saying to Josh, ‘John, just something small, tasteful and literary’ and then as she’s leaving, ‘it was nice to meet you Jake’. Obvs a wise choice not to go through with the tat but I’d love to know what Diana would have ended up with.

Josh calling Liza out on writing the letter and trying to walk away never talking to him was completely fair enough. Him reminding her that she said she would always be there for him, be Gemma’s aunt Liza, he’s not wrong and his hurt and confusion are understandable. But it is so nice to finally hear Liza making a choice and sticking to it (whether she does or not in the future). Josh saying that he gets it, she’s scared of what they were, they still are, it’s powerful and her defensiveness of Charles when he says that she’s making the safe choice is exactly the right response if she really means she has chosen him. And not because I love Charles and Liza together, but because Liza is standing up for her choice and her ‘don’t you tell me what I feel’ retort is so charged and fierce and I love it. ‘I know this is hard to accept Josh, but we were a moment in time. But the time has passed’ - this whole scene is wonderfully acted, the chemistry between these characters has always been strong and this is no exception. And obviously I agree that they need to move on. However my second big disappointment for this episode is the, ‘you forget Liza, I know you. I know when you’re lying (a couple of seasons of thinking she was 26 might contradict that but ok), especially to yourself.’

I absolutely understand the sentiment and I completely appreciate the setup for the zinger, ‘you wrote a letter to the wrong guy’ (though I do take issue with that line in general considering Liza has just said she’s made her choice. Even a simple, ‘I think’ in front of it would’ve made it less arrogant), but if this setup is leading to a Josh and Liza reunion down the track, then I would have preferred the execution be different because to me, this is not insightful or romantic, it’s Josh once again questioning Liza’s understanding of herself and her needs (I know it’s meant to be him trying to get her to ‘be real’ but it just doesn’t land like that for me). I have no doubt lots of fans are jubilant but it feels manipulative and is not a tactic that compels me to think they might have something worth revisiting. If after Liza said, ‘I love him more’ Josh had looked at her with that heartbreak in his eyes he can convey so well and said, ‘well then I hope he loves you the way you deserve’ or something and walked away, then THAT would show growth and make the possibility of him being an option again (which is clearly where this is all heading) far more compelling IMO.

So in one of the best bait and switch moments this show has delivered, Liza returns to the loft and has a good hard look at the gala photo with Charles and Michelle and Tom (and in my head she’s thinking about how good it is she and Charles promised each other they won’t go to things like that anymore) before we see another letter starting, Dear Charles. And just when all the Team Charles Stans were going to have a collective meltdown, it turns out it’s Kelsey writing her resignation letter and we all exhaled but then didn’t because Kelsey, what are you doing??? So. Much. DRAH-MAH, so little time.

Ramble Lite™, that was a good joke wasn’t it? Can’t believe we’ve reached the finale but I am also very ready because WE GET TO GO TO A WEDDING!!!! Better get my neckwear sorted…

[the-sixth-lion-blog]

Things Happen For a Reason... Unless You Write For Voltron

There are tons of continuity errors and full on missing character arcs. So many, in fact, that I wonder if they didn't know how many seasons they were cleared for or how much time they had.

Has Lance Always Been Like That?

The Lance I met was a relatable character. Erratic, rash, defensive, but also empathetic, loyal and infectiously optimistic. Still, he's... The dumb one. That's his main title, the running joke, the flatness of his character.

So where did this suave, sweater wearing, humble nerd come from? He uses words that indicate a college reading level. He is capable of expressing his thoughts and emotions with beautiful fluency. It doesn't feel right.

This is a massive change from his fairly well developed character arc of him finding a place in the team, growing as a sharp shooter, being uplifting and learning selflessness. It also completely undermines his budding brotherhood with Keith to let him go have fun with Allura. Sure, we all like a well dressed Lance who uses big words and likes... Farming?

Yeah, so nothing about Lance's love for piloting persisted past Voltron I guess. His extreme passion for being in a team, his clear ability to shoot and his love of flying and exploring must have diminished the second he touched Earth and transformed into a completely different and unrelated field of work. I understand that, I promise, but it doesn't seem like Lance, who spent years overcoming his intrinsic dumbness to be a pilot at the garrison. We see him struggle for this! He wanted it.

He loved it.

And Speaking of Love

Guess what, this isn't going where you think it is!

That's right! Friend love!

These guys are best friends. They hang out, they know each other, they spend excruciating amounts of time stuck with each other at the Garrison on ships. So why does that all nearly disintegrate come Voltron? Lance and Hunk almost never exchange memories of their time at the Garrison. Anyone who has moved knows how fast those memories of their old life flow. And Pidge completely isolates herself. If you didn't know it you would never guess the three had been a lovely little friend group.

No wonder Lance had such a crisis when Keith showed him up as a pilot. Hunk and Pidge are immediately emotionally distant, his hero Shiro thinks he's a dumbass and he has to live on a crazy space castle with the usually angry and creepy closeted emo kid (adored by Shiro, who don't forget is Lance's #1 role model) who is somehow also clearly better than him.

Their friendship has been reduced to filler episodes.

Was That Shiro Cowering in a Corner or am I Imagining Things?

Nope. There it is.

Wow. Well. If I'm not mistaken this man has a rocket arm that delivers swift and capable punches. Now, that is clearly not as important to the show as his arm wrestling capability but if the writers wanted Shiro to have true, consistent and well written PTSD I would have accepted that as an explanation for his sudden inability to fight. But seeing as Shiro's nothing but traumatizing past (torture, losing his arm, being made to fight for his life in a space Colosseum while grappling with the existence of fully developed alien life that is trying to end earth, losing Sam and Matt, being trapped in a Lion, suffering the loss of Adam) has had almost no effect on his life past serving to provide minor exposition or to give Keith a chance to do something.

To further this point, here is a list of every time Shiro (not Kuron) got into a fight before and after Keith became black paladin. Here, a fight is if Shiro was outside of Voltron and engaged in any hand to hand combat or was injured by a malevolent being that was targeting him.

Ep 3 S1

Ep 4 S1

Ep 8 S1

Ep 9 S1

Ep 12 S1

Ep 13 S1

Ep 1 S2

Ep 3 S2 (in flashbacks)

Ep 4 S2

Ep 6 S2

Ep 7 S2 (in the astral plane)

Ep 10 S2

Now let's skip ahead.... 4 seasons... Oh man

Ep 12 S7

that's it

Ah. Hm. I think the data speaks for itself, don't you?

So what in the world happened to Shiro, gladiator and protectorate who would die for his team? When the enemy infiltrates his ship and attacks his friends, he is transformed into an inexplicably incapable soldier.

Shiro Actually Married "Adam", if You're Hard of Hearing

Have you happen to have heard the video guide for the ending of the last episode?

I'm a little skeptical of the source so let me know if this is incorrect. If it's real audio then I'm just disappointed.

Full Metal Paladin, Brotherhood

Sorry for forcing the title but it's the best thing that came to mind.

Keith and Shiro are close. Since they met, Shiro has been gently guiding Keith to his best path. Their bond is undeniable.

Out of all of the paladins, Keith should understand Shiro the best. So why in the world does Keith never bother to check in with Shiro? Strange migraines, not feeling like himself, making unnatural decisions? I doubt that anyone would see this as a warning sign for "clone," but anyone who has claimed a close friendship with someone will be concerned when they begin acting erratically. When Shiro mentions how terrible he's feeling-

(here is where I used up my image allowance so just imagine what I put in brackets)

He gets no response, and even Keith ignores his joyous outburst of "I feel so much better!". There's an appropriate "friend" response to that that Shiro does not receive from anyone. Keith, above all other paladins, is likely to know just how much Adam meant to Shiro, but Keith doesn't supply a shoulder to lean on at any moment. The writers want us to know that Keith loves Shiro. In what exact way I care not to delve into, though I would personally argue in a brotherly way. So why does Keith let Shiro's heart waste away like this?

[Shiro being sad which happens a lot actually]

Me too, Shiro. Me too.

The Allura of Power is Too Great

Why did the white lion choose Allura if not because of her intrinsic incorruptible self? And what changed in her heart or the story to make her seek dark power? She got infected with S1 Lance disease I suppose, because all of a sudden she's being dangerous and thoughtless.

[Allura opening up the stupid case and letting that thing out]

In s8, the situation is pretty dire. But it was dire before. She already learned not to trust Lotor, but then you know, he shows up and looks like Lance a little bit and that's enough for her to open up her arms and give dark alchemy a great big hug.

The white lion chose her over Lotor because she was bright and accepted her fate for the future of everything she held dear. What became of her, and why did we only see this change truly take form with less than an hour of the entire series left?

[White Lion jumping around with Allura]

Thanks for Making it Through This Post

There are hundreds of other things that I could mention, and feel free to add on to this with your own opinions! I know this isn't exactly plot continuity but characterization continuity. I hope that is okay! If you want me to focus more on plot next time, let me know 😊

[the-slut-verses]

eos 10 relisten highlights and musings

Honestly the first thing that stuck out to me was how damn thirsty everyone is for Ryan. no lie i can call this post ryan dalias thirst club cuz it’s 90% abt that. as much as everyone makes fun of ryan’s forehead, they can all agree he’s a hottie

the most memorable ryan thirst moment was when he showed akmazian his threatening to explode dick and it was love at first sight for our favorite (alleged) terrorist

it's amazing how the entire overarching plot of the show all started when an alien wanted to get on Ryan and almost made his dick explode in the process

Then there was doctor osolong whom the the first thing we know about is that he's always checking Ryan out

In season 2, Levi and the interface bonded over how hot Ryan is, going into great detail about his abs and biceps and whatnot, and can you blame em

And like the interface was so weak for Ryan she (or is it they?) short-circuited when he has pretending to be dying in Jane's officer exam

In season 2 episode 3, when Ryan was sad after his dad did, Jane was totally dtf Ryan just to cheer him up. That's so weird but that's so sweet of her!

In the same episode, both Jane and Levi were totally dtf akmazian and the two headed killjoy quartermaster just to get Ryan a pet. Man they're so sweet I love them so much!

Outta all the main characters, the only one not thirsty for Ryan is doctor Urvidian which is good cuz 1) he's old and

2) he's probably Ryan's father. I can't believe I forgot that little bit, that Ryan's mom told him he was conceived on the same ship he had an affair with doctor Urvidian

tho sometimes the thirst comes from ryan and it’s not just directed at him. remember in the second christmas special when he was in that mind meld with the alien pine tree along with everyone else on the station, jane noticed that ryan thinks about dr osolong, and in those thoughts he was nude

jane notes that he’s circumcised which tells us that ryan has indeed seen dr osolong naked if he knows that. jane also notes that she was a little surprised cuz she thought jewish people stopped regularly circumcising abt a hundred years ago and dr osolong’s jewish

speaking of dr osolong, ryan mentioned in ep 7 of s2 to the interface that he had a fling on shore leave. but he doesn’t think he’ll do stuff like that again cuz he realized that he’s caught deep and genuine feelings for someone. 

if it’s any of the characters we know already, i think it’s dr osolong cuz we can infer they’ve talked and interacted p regularly offscreen. i wanna say i think it’s akmazian but i don’t think ry-ry would be so quick to admit his feels for our favorite (alleged) terrorist

unrelated but ryan sleeps naked and we only know abt this cuz dr urvidian told jane to examine him to do something about that forehead problem

Moving on from the Ryan Dalias thirst club, I remember Justin McLachlan saying someone dies in season 3 right?

In the season 2 finale, akmazian said "I'm a wanted terrorist." the weird oracle from Levi's planet told him "you will be desired no longer."

That could mean that in season 3, 1) he'll be proven innocent, or 2) he'll either die or fake his own death so he won't be wanted anymore, or 3) he'll prove his innocence by dying for a good cause. I hope to God he don't die but that thought crossed my mind

Moving on to more plot/lore stuff; in the s2 finale, both akmazian and Ryan react with disbelief when they're told about an "alliance warship" which makes me think that the alliance is like the United federation of planets cuz they both abstain from building dedicated warships, only using their fleets for science, exploration, and diplomacy

i think maybe the big conspiracy in the alliance aims to turn the loose alliance into something more centralized like say a federation. and since they’re building warships, they probably wanna conquer the galaxy or some stuff

i forgot how levi can be so damn intense and scary, how he was able to blow up a ship, how he regularly has black market dealings, how he’s probably a very very horrible prince

levi isn’t as dense and dumb as i thought i remembered cuz he stole high level alliance clearance code which let him decode some shady stuff from the big conspiracy. this makes me think that maybe he’s intentionally slowing down the paper work for his immigration stuff into the alliance cuz he wants to stay on the station. maybe he doesn’t want the alliance looking too deeply into his past

i totally forgot how comforting i found that soft humming sound of the station engine in the background, it always makes me feel at ease

[tomoawards]

The Tomo Awards 2018

Hi, welcome to The Tomo Awards 2018, baybee. Before I even get started, I just want to say that we are currently in a musical rennaissance, like an absolute golden age, and there are so many albums I wanted to put here but it was just too hard to pick because the current top 18 is just too solid and hard to pick through.

The header title of each album next to their respective number ranking on this list is a hyperlink to the album of Spotify. There will also be some links occasionally throughout the rest of this post for reference’s sake.

This is a link to the official Tomo Awards Spotify playlist of my favorite songs of 2018, in a general favorite to least favorite order. Over 10 hours of music.

Now let's talk about the albums, can we talk about the albums, please guys I've been dying to talk about the albums with you all year:

#18. Denzel Curry - TA13OO

I initially turned my eye to Denzel Curry, not because of his ties to a certain other artist who is finally dead and I won't mention by name, but because he seemed to have been another boring SoundCloud rapper from the outside. The fact of the matter however, is that that label couldn't be further from wrong. Denzel Curry's third and best album to date, TA13OO, is at its core, a commentary of SoundCloud rap culture and all of the vices it carries with it, as well as of life as a black person in America, on top of being a loose concept album, split into three acts: Light, Gray, and Dark, each of which has its own incredible and similar album cover, with the Dark cover often being used as the main one. And while the three sides of the album don't always correlate with the feel of the music itself, it does add a great way to break this already short enough album up into smaller and easier to chew pieces.

While having come up from SoundCloud himself, as well as being a XXL Freshman in 2016, Denzel's sound here is completely different than the scene he came out of, and there isn't a stuttering 808 hihat to be heard until the very last song of the Light side, Sumo, which could easily be a Lil Pump song; and that kind of juxtaposition is exactly the point - it's a caricature of SoundCloud rap, a critical analysis of it, while still finding a way to respect and understand it.

While only sitting at an easy 43 minutes, it's still a three-sided album, so I think it's only fair to give a highlight from each side. The first song and title track TABOO is easily the most essential track on the Light side of the album, while SIRENS featuring JID (who also dropped an incredible album this year) is a huge highlight of the Gray side. VENGEANCE is the biggest highlight of the Dark side, capturing the mood that the Dark concept shows on the album cover perfectly, featuring violently shouted and screamed verses from JPEGMAFIA and ZillaKami, before fading out into a soft and contrasting outro.

Finish 'em, 'Zel.

#17. Behemoth - I Loved You At Your Darkest

Very few bands have a career as enigmatic of a career as Behemoth; the closest comparison I can even think of is The Beach Boys, because it took them both over ten albums to make their magnum opus. When Behemoth released their most acclaimed work in 2014, their tenth album The Satanist, many had declared it to be one of if not the greatest black metal album ever made. The expectations for a true proper followup was almost impossible to hide, and they had even thrown around the idea that they'd never make another album again. So when they finally announced that a follow-up would be coming this year, the pressure was on.

I still don't think it will be possible for them to top The Satanist, but they closest they could do is at the very least match it, and that's just what they've done with I Loved You At Your Darkest. If anything, this album is just as solid as The Satanist was, and if this came first and The Satanist came second, I think the scores would flip, and this one would be the one with all the acclaim; it's hard to truly meet expectations and wow for a second time in a row, but Behemoth really did the absolute most they possibly could to fulfill those expectations. I Loved You At Your Darkest is truly the dark album its title suggest it would be, featuring the same minor guitar riffs that morph into complex harmonic structures with children's choirs and horn sections to back it all up at its highest peaks. This is another album for the history books.

The biggest points of interest on the standard edition of the album itself is the three-song stretch towards the beginning, starting with God=Dog into Ecclesia Diabolica Catholica, and pouring out into Bartzabel. It is, however, an unfortunate fact that the best song on the entire album, O Pentagram Ignis, was left off the full album and instead made a bonus track on the Japanese CD edition of the album.

#16. Asian Kung-Fu Generation - Hometown

Every single time Weezer drops a new album, fans complain, even if it's just by placebo. But whenever a Weezer fan complains, I'm always the first one to point out that Asian Kung-Fu Generation have been making the albums that Weezer fans want for the better part of the last 15 odd years.

Not only have Asian Kung-Fu Generation done that again with Hometown and the accompanying Can't Sleep EP that came out the same day, the album actually features co-writing credits from Rivers Cuomo himself, and it shines through as obvious as ever in songs like Circus and Dancing Girl, both of which respectively sound like the Blue Album and Pinkerton cuts.

Fuck your language barrier. Asian Kung-Fu Generation have made what people wanted The Green Album and every follow-up to be nine times already, and y'all still haven't noticed. All I know is if I hear even one of you jackasses complain when Weezer drops the Black Album early next year, I'm gonna fucking slap you in the face nine times over again with a physical vinyl pressing of every AKFG album from 2003's Kimi Tsunagi 5 M all the way up to this year's Hometown.

The biggest points of interest here are the cuts UCLA which sounds almost like a spiritual followup to the song "E" from their first album, as well as Dancing Girl, which again sounds like it would fit right into Weezer's Pinkerton save for the language difference.

#15. Wednesday Campanella - Galapagos

In the time since My Bloody Valentine, a completely unrelated band outside of this time comparison, have taken to follow-up their 2013 album MBV with even one EP that they've promised to drop the last two years in a row, Wednesday Campanella have had their entire and absolutely colossal career laid out.

Being one of the most artsy, eclectic, and just hard to pin bands in recent music from anywhere in the entire world, it's hard to even figure out what their thought processes is when defining their releases. Their two debut EPs both vary greatly in size - Norway No Mori is a mere 3 songs long, while Crawl To Sakaagari is 9 songs. Comparatively, last year's SUPERMAN, which was labeled an album, was 10 songs long. This year's Galapagos was 8, 9 if you include the cut single Gala as a bonus track like I did, but it's also still technically considered an EP. Meanwhile their 7 song "UMA" project is considered a mini-album. So fuck it, Galapagos counts as an album for this year.

On to it now, Galapagos was a hard record to stomach at first, if not solely by comparison to their previous...I don't know how many records, actually. Every record by them has always been different, sharing only one similarity - the eccentric artsiness that's so well associated with lead singer KOM_I at this point. What differentiates Galapagos the most however, is just how chill it is compared to their previous work, which is what made this a hard listen compared to last year's ball of high electric energy, SUPERMAN.

But what they delivered this year is no less worthy than any of their previous works, still utilizing the best production in the game right now, still being every bit as innovative as Yasutaka Nakata probably still wishes he could be.

The album opener, The Bamboo Princess, is the perfect starter, beginning with a slow and exotic opening melody, exploding into this huge orchestral and electronic hybrid drop. Melos is the other huge high point here, featuring a tight looping drum beat before building up with a watery, hypnotic pre-chorus, and exploding into the biggest hook on the album.

#14. Perfume - Future Pop

Before anything else, I'd like to pose this question: Yasutaka Nakata, what the fuck are you doing? It's a blessing every time we get a new Perfume album, but it's also a blessing that this album even grew on me enough to make it on my list, because it was a very rough first listen and an even rougher rollout - this is a 12 song, 42 minute album, however the amount of actual new music on here equals four songs and roughly 14 minutes. That's actually 2/3s of the album that we have already heard before it even came out. This is of course, not counting the joke of an "intro" song "Start-Up", which, as an instrumental 50 second intro, isn't really a song. But despite being Perfume’s worst album to date, Future Pop is still worth your time and adoration, as Perfume as a band still stands as one of the most incredible achievements in modern music.

So what did Future Pop do right? Well, it’s best to start with some context: the genre of future bass was born and died in 2014; nothing new has been done with it in 2018 that wasn't already done in 2014, not even what Perfume did here with Future Pop. The reason this happened is solely because the genre of future bass has found some mainstream (as far as “mainstream” goes for electronic sub-genres) success in Japan only just this year; despite not having anything new done with it, the genre that’s partially inspired by Japan, has only just found its way into the country itself. Funny how it do be like that sometimes.

But as far as future bass as a genre goes, we've heard it all before. So what makes Future Pop endearing enough to creep onto this list after such an initially awful first impression?

At it's core, it is still very much Perfume. Yasutaka Nakata, although lacking more self-awareness than ever, is still behind the wheel, and his production is still sparkly, hopeful, and clean as anything you've ever heard. Despite the genre changes, his chord choices and a good amount of his songwriting are still reminiscent of even Perfume's best material, aside from the unfortunate few songs which only have instrumental future bass choruses with ad-libs serving as the only vocal parts; what a great hook, am I right fellas?. Future Pop admittedly could fortunately have been so much worse, however. It also could have been much, much better. If anything, Future Pop has officially made JPN no longer considered the band's worst album.

Songs like Chorairin, Tenku, and Tiny Baby hark back to the heyday of classic Yasutaka Nakata production, whereas songs like Let Me Know and Everyday feel just short of being generic, and the presence of FUSION is elusive to my last two brain cells that remain after the rest of them died trying to figure out why the fuck this song even exists on the album in the first place.

Tokyo Girl and Houseki No Ame, the first single and its respective B-side, both already show their age and lack of place in the album’s main genre styling of “future pop”, sounding more like Cosmic Explorer leftovers than future bass bangers. Mugen Mirai and If You Wanna, however, happen to be the two greatest future bass songs ever recorded, with the latter feeling much too short and leaving listeners wanting more, a theme present through the album’s literal 13 minutes of new music in its 44 minute running time. Did I mention that yet? I’m sure I did, but there’s no amount of times I could repeat that to real drive home the fact that Yasutaka Nakata actually thought it was okay to release 13 minutes of new music and have the nerve to call it a “new” album.

The biggest highlights here are Mugen Mirai (無限未来) which despite the future bass goes so unbelievably hard and also Tiny Baby which happens to be one of my favorite songs in their entire catalogue now and I wish every song on this album sounded like it. The titular Future Pop being their second dive into DnB music is a pretty good one at that, with the first DnB song in their catalogue being Point from their 2013 album Level3.

At the end of the day however, this is new Perfume music, and I will always find a way to love new Perfume music no matter what.

“I feel so happy.”

#13. Rosalía - El Mal Querer

Where do I even start with this? Rosalía did something fucking magic here. Combining elements of both flamenco pop as well as a very slight trap influence, Rosalia and co-producer El Guincho are completely next level in every way. Straight out of Spain, Rosalía picked up traction last year with her debut album Los Angeles, and is already back this year following it up with the absolutely brilliant concept album El Mal Querer.

Opening with the moody #1 hit Malamente, brilliantly and minimally produced, the album's tone is set almost immediately. It's both sassy and modest, both maximalist and minimalist. If you're not familiar with the melodic work of Spanish music, the harmonic structure of this album might be jarring and almost entirely new to you. But if you know what you're going to get yourself into, this is going to be one of the most incredible musical experiences you'll hear all year.

The opening track Malamente is of course a huge highlight, but Pienso En Tu Mira is the most standout track here, combining a huge presence of modern R&B-trap in its production and melody with the flamenco stylings of Rosalía’s native Spain.

#12. SOPHIE - Oil Of Every Pearl's Uninsides

Despite losing a lot of its underground steam as well as its cult status in favor of transparency and visibility (which is in no way a bad thing), the PC Music label and associated genre have finally reached their promised potential they showed in the earl 2010s, with records like UMRU's Search Result, last year's POP 2 by Charli XCX, and SOPHIE's "proper" debut album this year. And with Hannah Diamond's debut album Reflections finally releasing early next year, it seems like PC Music's time to truly shine has finally arrived.

Oil Of Every Pearl's Uninsides, which I'll just call "Oil" from here on out, is equal parts breathtaking, uncomfortable, and mysterious. Oil features the kind of absurdist, abstract production SOPHIE came up on, but with a level of polish and palatability that she's never had before. While her original "compilation album”, PRODUCT (which I’m only just now finding out has been relabeled as a “compilation” [Edit: it’s not even officially an album on Spotify, it’s there as an official playlist of the singles that made the album up]), may have sounded like what abstract art looks like, Oil sounds like what a beautiful, colorful, absurdist painting looks like. It’s like Banksy vs. da Vinci, there’s just no comparing.

This is the kind of music that could come to life as a monster. On my first listen, I wouldn't have even flinched if I saw the cones of my stereo bulging as some kind of monster was trying to burst its way out like some kind of scene straight from Stranger Things. This music sounds like that, like something is going to physically break its way out of your speakers. This is the kind of music that I want people who don't believe in the power and capability of electronic music to hear, because it proves something important: those "lifeless" computers, synthesizers, and drum machines can create an absolute hellscape that most guitar players simply aren't capable of or creative enough to make with just a guitar.

The biggest highlights here are Ponyboy, which sounds like the music itself is trying to actually murder you by pounding you against a concrete floor at a rave, and Is It Cold In The Water, which sounds like somebody is trying to murder you by drowning you in a cave.

#11. Daughters - You Won't Get What You Want

What the fuck even is this album. I heard someone say that singer Alexis Marshall sounds like Elvis being forced to sing while being tortured. Musically, Daughters could almost be likened to Nine Inch Nails, but far more raw and more conventional. I really didn't know what to expect when I saw this pop up on Kingdom Leaks weeks before its release, but the artwork looked immediately iconic and it didn't have a pretentious genre tag, so I decided to just give it a go with no expectations.

And that's the best way to go into this. Just know that it's dark, and it might make you feel uncomfortable to the point of anxiety. I'm not even going to say anything else about it. Just go and listen to this, because it is a perfect, beautiful, dark, twisted masterpiece of an album.

Satan In The Wait is the highlight here, for me. It just captures the entire mood of the album. Go get on that.

#10. Band-Maid - WORLD DOMINATION

I'd like to start this off by wholeheartedly apologizing to Band-Maid for how much I've made fun of them and their fans in the past. I'd like to ammend this by saying I do not apologize to their Asian-fetishizing white people fanbase - you're all still creepy, cringey, disgusting little neckbeards.

This really came to me as a surprise. I have ruthlessly made fun of Band-Maid in the past. Like a lot. Despite still enjoying Maid In Japan a lot, which you will get roasted on their subreddit for even saying anything positive about even though it is their second best album next to this one, this one really caught me off guard. And while their first album has a lot of pop centric songwriting, they traded that off on the three records that followed by going super hard and edgy, almost to comedic effect as a way of trying to win over neckbeards who heard a Babymetal and think that you "have to play your own music to be good".

But World Domination does an unbelievable job at combining that hard edge with incredibly catchy pop songwriting, creating a really enjoyable heavy guitar pop experience that I haven't really heard out of Japan since the first BiSH album. Seiko Oomori tried to do similar this year but completely failed at making it stand out to an album like this in the same year, as well as her own past crowning achievements like last year's masterpiece kitixxxgaia.

Anyways, Domination is one of the best songs of the year with a chorus that makes me want to like punch of a fucking window or something, and Anemone is this super emotional pseudo-acoustic banger that will probably make you cry from its chord progression alone.

Band-Maid: I apologize. Band-Maid fans: fuck you  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#9. Kero Kero Bonito - Time n Place

Not unlike Band-Maid at all...how the fuck did Kero Kero Bonito of all bands manage to make an album this good after years of embarrassment? Now I've been into KKB for years, since the original Intro Bonito mixtape dropped. Sarah was a part of the same online weeb community I used to be a part of. Everybody pretended to like KKB because they were about the only other weeb music group besides Slime Girls that showed some potential to break through into the actual music world.

But trading in those sick beats for conventional instruments, while not something I'd ever really endorse because guitars don't automatically make music good, dad, happened to be the best thing they could have done. KKB is a real band here now, and their experimental punk, tweed-pop, noise, J-pop, whatever, songwriting on this album makes it an absolute pleasure to listen to. It also doesn't help that Sarah doesn't sing even a word in her awful native Japanese.

Jolly good show, KKB. The second and third songs Time Today and Only Acting are an immediate attention-holder for the rest of the album and absolute show-stoppers.

#8. cacophony - Harmony

Completely out of left field, and off the suggestion of a friend of mine, who I know for a fact that when he speaks highly of something, it's worth that hype. I initially put this suggestion on the backburner until he came back to tell me that this album is on the level of Ringo Sheena's masterpiece Kalk Zamen Kuri No Hana, which still stands in my opinion as one of the top five greatest albums of all time. That's when I cleared my plate and sat down with this.

Cacophony is an artist from South Korea who is still criminally unheard of, especially after an album as personal and breathtaking as this. While I don't think this will ever be the legendary masterpiece that the Ringo Sheena album is, it truly does share a very similar, dark, and personal vibe. Inspired by the unfortunate passing of her mother, Harmony (known as Hwa in Korean) is a dark introspection into Cacophony's grief, and that feeling alone is presented in its gritty but relaxed production as well as her violently powerful vocal delivery.

You don't need to know a word she's saying here; I for sure don't speak Korean or even the occasional French that these songs are in, but the emotions conveyed here transcend any language. It's a dark album, and you genuinely may walk away from this in a bad mood, but it's an album any music lover simply can't miss, so maybe bring your serotonin along with you.

The biggest highlights here are In The End, a strong track with the most emotionally vulnerable and powerful vocal performance of the entire year, and Sick Boy a violent and brooding song that almost feels like it's dragging its own coffin behind it.

#7. Lucie,Too - LUCKY

Lucie,Too shouldn't be as good as they are. By every rule of music theory, absolutely nothing about this should be as fun and investing as it is. Lucie,Too makes the kind of music that every American band like Cayetana and Soccer Mommy wishes they were making. They're making some pretty decent waves, for a relatively tiny band from a town like Utsunomiya, even in the western world.

Lucie,Too is to the point if anything else. Their songs are short and get right to the good stuff. LUCKY, their most-watched song on YouTube, sits at only a minute and a half long; but don't think this is a punk band anything. The song sits at a really easy 93 beats per minute at double-time and just breezes along at its own pace. Most of their songs follow this mellow, flowing tempo, and feature really honest and genuine production - nothing too raw, but not over-polished either. Nothing about Lucie,Too should be as good as it is, but there's just a simplicity and raw honesty to their music that I haven't really heard from much other guitar music recently.

They also dropped a new EP called "exlover" in November that features one of my top three songs of the year, Saigo No Hi, which means The Last Day.

Anyways, the biggest highlight here is probably Siesta and the title track LUCKY, but honestly, the whole thing is short enough to be one highlight in its own right.

#6. KIDS SEE GHOSTS - KIDS SEE GHOSTS

Yeah, Kanye lost his mind, but that's all over the news so you can hear about that somewhere else some other time. Right here and now though, we're here to talk about how mans Kanye still makes some of the most fire music in the game, and this is the worthy successor to every album he's made in the past that Ye just wasn't, despite the fact that I still like Ye a lot more than everyone else seems to, but let's not digress and just get right into it.

Welcome To Heartbreak is my favorite song on 808s, Gorgeous is my favorite song on Dark Fantasy, and Father Stretch My Hands Part 1 is my favorite song on Pablo. So why wasn't I one of the people who was excited for this destined Kanye x Kid Cudi collab album for years and years like everyone else? I guess I just never made the connection, because this is genuinely the exact perfect step forward that Kanye's perfect discography deserves. It's just unbelievable that at such a shaky and tender time for him, he's still capable of making something brilliant.

I admittedly didn't care for this one on my first listen at all. Then I listened a second time and it clicked immediately; this album is as colorful as the Takashi Murakami artwork on the cover, it's as haunting as the ghosts painted on it, it's as psychedelic and moody as you'd expect anything Cudi doing, and it's as brilliantly produced as you'd expect anything Kanye doing.

At only 7 songs and short of 24 minutes, this album is digestible enough to listen to in one quick sitting and easy enough to be one big highlight. But as far as individual songs here, Freeee (Ghost Town Part 2) (best paired with Ghost Town Part 1 from Kanye's 'Ye' album that came out the week prior) is phenomenal, but the biggest highlight to me is Cudi Montage, which features a guitar riff that's immediately obvious as being played by the late Kurt Cobain himself, and eventually evolves into this huge harmonizing climax that's completely unmatched to anything else in the five album Wyoming Sessions that Kanye did this year.

#5. Vince Staples - FM!

Vince Staples is the best rapper alive. There is a tie for first place, but just know he is the one tying for it and the other best rapper alive will be further down this list.

Just right down to it, FM! is hard, and it's short. Continuing along with The Year Of The Short Album, FM! stands at only 26 minutes long, 11 tracks long, 3 of which are small skits; Vince himself actually laughed at the fact that the industry even bothered to call it an album, seeing as the album is just a minute short of being as long as 2016's Prima Donna EP.

There's nothing here as innovative and forward as Big Fish Theory, but that doesn't even matter here. What's special about FM! is that Vince almost seems to be having fun here, at least on the surface. Dive a little deeper into the lyrics, and you'll see that Vince is just as nihilistic and political as ever.

Thematically, the album is presented as a sort of short radio program, featuring DJ skits between songs and previews for other artists like Tyga and Earl Sweatshirt's new music. The beats are hard and pretty standard, but capture the exact amount of discomfort Vince's debut Summertime '06 delivered.

Outside and FUN! are the bangers here to really keep your ears on.

#4. Noname - Room 25

Noname is also the best rapper alive. Y'all have been ignoring her for too long. There, I said it. There is a tie between her and Vince Staples for best rapper alive title. Following up her brilliant 2016 mixtape Telefone, Room 25 is a much darker and more nihilistic approach to the familiar Chicago sound that her and the rest of her hometown borrowed from the old Kanye.

In an industry where Nicki and Cardi B are at the top despite how problematic and lackluster they've proven themselves to be both musically and lyrically, Noname immediately addresses the game's attitude towards women summed up with the simple one liner:

"And y'all still thought a bitch couldn't rap huh?"

Tackling issues like the sexism not only faced by women in the real world, but also within the industry she is a part of, as well as the black experience in America, Noname really comes through on the honest front here delivering bars that artists like Kendrick Lamar and J. Cole probably wish their labels would let them say.

Prayer Song and Self are the real winners here. Just...please go listen.

[ALBUM COVER REDACTED because Noname said she would be having a new album cover created after sexual abuse allegations came after the artist of the original album cover.]

#3. Haru Nemuri - Haru To Shura

I have to live the rest of my life knowing that I am part of the catalyst to Haru Nemuri's western success. It was I who told Anthony Fantano about her. She is now one of the most streamed Japanese artists (IIRC, don’t quote me on that) on Spotify because of his review. If only that melonheaded fuck understood just the level of influence his platform has to give incredible foreign artists the attention they deserve. Ash, my friend and J-music plug, from Arama, shared her with me much earlier this year, and after Haru To Shura came out, I slipped that and LOONA yyxy to Fantano. But enough about melons.

Haru To Shura is a masterpiece. There's no possible way for someone to describe this album to someone who only listens to western music, and that description alone should interest you. To those who have heard music outside of the western hemisphere, this album almost sounds like what Shinsei Kamattechan would sound like if Seiko Oomori were singing instead of Noko. Which is a great comparison, because both Seiko and Noko have been known to collaborate with Haru recently.

This album is raw and abrasive, but it's also strangely beautiful and avant-garde. Haru likes to call herself a "poetry rapper", who raps, hastily monologues to herself, sings, and screams over disgusting and dreamy shoegazey punk music. I like to think of Haru Nemuri as the next in the lineage of out-of-step women in J-pop, the line of which starts with Jun Togawa and follows Ringo Sheena and Seiko Oomori all the way up to Haru.

Sekai wo Torikaeshite Okure is the song that really made me pay attention, and I'd like to hope it'll be that for you too, so go peep that one first if you're remotely interested. And if you're not - have fun living your whole life without this perfect gamechanger of an album

It’s also worth noting she dropped a fucking amazing EP this year called Kick In The World, featuring its title track, an acoustic version, with four asbolutely batshit remixes of the title song sandwiched in-between them. This song was a leftover from the album that she said would have bloated down the tracklist. Finally an artist who has the self-awareness to cut music in favor of the listening experience. Can’t say the same about Drake.

#2. YESEO - Damn Rules

I don't really know where to even start with this one. I've always considered Neon Bunny, Aseul, and YESEO to be the holy trinity of Korean indie electronic music, and while Neon Bunny's Stay Gold might still be one of my favorite albums ever made, Damn Rules proves that the Korea might have a new underground queen.

YESEO came out of nowhere only two odd years ago, and to say she hasn't had a prolific career in that short time would be insulting; in 2016 and 2017 alone she dropped two mini-albums, an EP, a ton of assorted singles, covers, a feature on I.M (of Monsta X fame)'s mixtape, songs for K-drama soundtracks, and a single with SM Entertainment. But all of that was smooth trap and EDM-infused R&B.

What sets Damn Rules apart from not just the competition, but her own past self, is that it's hard; like really fucking hard, and it's dystopian futuristic sounding. Like, this is what the Cyberpunk 2077 soundtrack should sound like, not some 2000s white people-ass Jack White-ass blues rock bullshit.

The lead single Bitches Rule still stands as one of if not my favorite song of the year. It's gritty, horny, and sounds like a deep cut from the musical landscape of 3018, and that's a theme that continues throughout every song on the album. Even the instrumental track Mess, despite its future bass-driven hook still manages to impress in a way that future bass hasn't since its peak in 2014.

The fact that Damn Rules doesn't have the streaming numbers that last year's Million Things does should honestly be an intergalactic war crime.

This is gonna be one of those albums that people are gonna look back at years from now and go "yeah, that was really something else", regardless of what she does next.

The biggest highlights here are of course the lead single Bitches Rule, the hypnotic electro-trap song Cigarette Light, and the club banger Honey Don't Kill My Vibe, which sounds nothing like the Kendrick song it gets its name from. 

#1. Travis Scott - ASTROWORLD

2019 kids will never know what it was like to bombard Travis Scott with memes that say something along the lines of "drop Astroworld right now" every time he tweeted. Let me preface all of this by saying I waited for Astroworld longer than you did. I have been listening to La Flame since the Days Before Rodeo days. I pushed Rodeo on all of my friends who liked hip-hop since the day it came out and all y'all ignored me until Astroworld. Y'all still think Birds is bad. Birds is good; it's better than Owl Pharaoh. It's better than Huncho Jack. Granted, anything is. But Astroworld is as good as Rodeo.

Astroworld is the sequel the real ragers have been waiting for. I'll admit, I was worried after Butterfly Effect, Huncho Jack, Watch, and all of his other recent features save for a few quality ones; I was worried that that generic Butterfly Effect flow would predominate Astroworld. But save for a few small hiccups which honestly don't matter in the grand scheme of things, Astroworld completely delivers on all fronts and defies the expectations he set on himself. It is not just a rollercoaster ride, it is a front to back day out at an interstellar theme park.

Sicko Mode actually sounds like you're on a rollercoaster, with the stuttering snare drops before the beat switch taking the place of a rickety chain pulling you up the hill before Drake pushes you off downhill into four loops or something. Astrothunder actually sounds like you're floating through space under a meteor shower. Coffee Bean actually sounds like you're walking back through the park at the end of the day. Thematically, Astroworld is a masterpiece. Musically, it's two levels above anybody and everybody else in the game.

Astroworld is one of the truly rare cases where something so mainstream with such a large mass appeal normally wouldn't be, and that alone makes it so worth the hype. Very rarely do you see an album so innovative and musically brilliant manage to break the top 10, let alone come out as the number one album of the year. Just like when Frank Ocean's Blonde was snubbed for its Grammy despite overwhelming success and critical acclaim, Astroworld too has been snubbed for its well-deserved Grammy over Drake's piss-poor, lukewarmly received Scorpion.

Songs like Skeletons, Astrothunder, and Can't Say shouldn't even be considered rap songs, because hip-hop is only a surface element here. A song like Sicko Mode, with three beat switch-ups, the first of which happens right as the song starts to take off before cutting itself short, with nothing resembling a hook or any traditional pop song structure, shouldn't even be the #1 radio hit that it is, but it just is. This is the rare example of something that in no way should be mainstream but is and 100% deserves to be. It's the kind of genius that can be appreciated on both the surfacelevel as a casual listener, but also for people have a finer knowledge of music to dive deeper in with.

In a world where each of the Migos, Lil Yachty, Drake, Tory Lanez, and RaeSremmurd are dropping 20+ song albums with almost all filler and little to no killer, it's a breath of fresh air to see an album as long as Astroworld filled with nothing but highlights.

[adapted-batteries]

And now for my “And the Steal of Fortune” post.

As always, feel free to message me on anything related to the Librarians, and I’ll put this ramble under a keep reading cuz it’s a long post and for spoilers.

The toaster...just...it’s such a Librarians thing...and Ezekiel being perpetually hungry. I do wanna know if Ezekiel was toying with them, or actually didn’t get what they were talking about.

As far as the whole “no socializing outside the library” thing, I don’t really hope they heed that cuz Castrella is my endgame for Cassandra for sure.

Stone’s finally content with who he is, though I didn’t think he’d be so...desperate to tell the people from his past. Though he didn’t say it explicitly, I’m gathering that Stone wants a relationship, which the lady he’s gonna meet later in the season will fulfill. Still, he could’ve went off to see Slaten alone...but he took Ezekiel with him, and then there was that whole “...........collegue” thing he did. I don’t know why he’d hesitate unless he’s thinking of Ezekiel as something more because they’re literally colleagues...Fair warning a lot of this ramble is gonna be Jake and Ezekiel oriented if you hadn’t already guessed by watching the ep and reading my fic I just wrote yesterday.

Speaking of Slaten...who is he to Stone? He’s gotta at least be a crush or something cuz Stone let him know about his talents, and they’re pretty friendly. And Stone had that stupid ass goofy smile when Slaten was showing off his horse and asked if Ezekiel had seen anything more beautiful...I bet you he was like “I think I see something more beautiful than the horse” or some shit aimed at Slaten.

Later on when the whole group goes back to the downs, Stone says that he’d be horse training if he hadn’t joined the Library...which means Slaten had to have been talking to him about it. I wonder how long he’d been discussing it, or if he’d already begun the career and was asking Stone to join him....I now low key want to write some Jake/Slaten horse trainer AU with jockey!Ezekiel or something.

So when they see the ad, Cassandra flinches, but due to timing, its a bit unclear if the flinch was from her feeling the kiss get put on her, or from the flash off the ring. I like to think she actually felt the magic since she’s one with the magic now.

So Ezekiel freaking out about losing...I mean he could’ve been affected by the kiss and hacking got rid of it, and once he did that, he couldn’t get affected later when they all looked at the add again, but I’m also so in the boat that he’s a demigod. Either way, his freaking out was fueled from his ptsd...no one else affected acted so adversely, he was manic about not losing, and Eve holding on to him grounded him a bit. He still was breathing quickly, rambling while hacking, way to relieved to get it to win, Ezekiel was way more high strung then he had been. I really hope they let someone address it finally cuz surely Eve or Stone thought that was weird.

I will say I loved getting to see Ezekiel deal with all the goons while Eve and Stone struggled with the luck drain, I like it when he gets to take charge.

The first time I saw the ep I totally missed the janitor poking his head in, seeing the fight, and promptly shutting the door.

The behind the tree hiding scene...like what even that was hilarious I love this show so much.

Sort of unrelated to the ep, but if various deities are/were definitely real, does that mean there’s a human origin myth that’s actually true and that it wasn’t a random set of genetic coincidences?

When Cassandra casually says “it only takes 7 pounds of pressure” when Stone threatens to rip the dude’s ear off, it threw me back to “And the Apple of Discord” for sure. But in all honesty, I love how they deal with him flinching away from Eve. They realize the abuse and don’t make any demeaning comment on it, they’re encouraging and helpful, this show is great.

Well, my last note is “I just want Stone to be happy” so there’s that. Honestly that last scene, I mean Slaten wants him to be happy too, and while Stone is fairly happy, I know he’s not content with being a social “celibate monk” to his friends.

Feel free to message me if you want about what I’ve said, or the show in general. I think I’m gonna do these for the rest of the eps for the season, just somewhere to get my rambles out.

[dawnowar]

Twin Peaks Ramble

I really want to ramble about Twin Peaks but i’m not finding anyone.. the right anyone.. to ramble with ... because i have a theory that seems to be good and also seems to not have been thought of yet. Its exciting for me. Just posted on the subreddit waiting for replies but theyre not coming fast enough to match my excitement.

See thing is i HATED the original which i didnt watch until probably about 5 yrs ago. I didnt make it. I quit in the stupid part of Season 2. I’d seen all the relevant stuff from the last ep so I had that idea about thats the end mostly i thought the whole thing was boring and slow.

So then my old boyfriend from 1991 who got his gf before me pregnant tells me his kid, whos grown now, is ON THE REVIVAL. I feel like a sort of unrelated aunt to this kid who’s birth father I dated while his mom was pregnant. I know thats a convoluted story but we all knew each other and we were all friends, so when the kid was reunited with his birth father, I was introduced to him too and I was happy to meet and know him just because I knew him when he was unborn. 

It’s pretty surreal he’s on Twin Peaks. 

Of course I had to watch it. I started late. They were up to Episode 7 before I got there. Because I knew what I’m like and the time sink it was gonna be. I love to get deep with shows you can get deep with and I listen to all the podcasts and think deep thoughts about them. 

I didnt think David Lynch was for me. I dont get whatever he does most of the time and i get sort of angry that he thinks hes so damn clever or whatever, but i went into this with the idea that I needed a podcast to explain it to me, so I didnt have to rewatch the original or Fire Walk with Me. and I’d get involved enough so id understand, as much as you can with David Lynch, and cheer my honorary nephew on.

What happened was I listened to the EW podcast and got two guys who get Lynch and love him explain to me why they love him and how the stuff he does that annoys me tickles them. And through them I got that same humorous attitude towards things he does once I got the hang of looking at these annoyances as funny quirks of David Lynch’s work. 

I loved everything about the end cause I get it now. I get that you’re not meant to have a neat little narrative wrapped up in a bow and thats okay too. I never thougth that was okay before. With David Lynch its not just okay its expected. I get it. and I was able to fully enjoy the end for what he did with it.

Also my friend’s kid.. who’s my friend too .. he was fantastic! I know im biased but he was the best part!! I dont know how he kept it all a secret all this time but he really made it seem like he probably just had a bit part in the background. 

and i was proud of him anyway even when I thought that was true. 

So through him I’ve learned to look at television in a different way and I had a great overall experience watching this series. 

and today i formulated a great theory and I cant wait to discuss it with other people!! I’m literally just waiting now. for someone to read it and message me and discuss.