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sommer-girl · 2 years

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Fremover, Part IV | Self Para

Date: 16 March 2023 Warnings: Just Anna being a lonely sadgirl at times :/

Anna catches up with Gerta, her once-babysitter and family's housekeeper. They revisit some memories.

Olaf, it turned out, had been right after all. Anna should not have been alone.

Not that she was in total crisis or anything. It was just lonely, laying there on her bunk bed and imagining the rest of the group out at dinner. Anna considered going to bed to simply fast-forward time to the next day, but it was only 6 PM, and Anna was wired not to even start her evening TikTok routine until at least midnight. So that was never going to work.

Still, she picked up her phone and opened the app and killed ten minutes scrolling through videos of dogs demanding The Cheeeeese Tax and BookTokers ranking their February reads and, inexplicably, not a small number of videos about niche drama in the NCIS fandom (Anna had never watched this show). She was just about to give up on this particular distraction when a notification popped up. A text.

Gerta?

Anna and Gerta didn’t text a lot. They spoke on the phone from time to time, but Gerta was quite busy, even with the girls grown up now. Her job had become much more about maintaining the mayoral estate, which was a never-ending task that kept her days very full. And she always talked about how much she missed Anna, which made Anna feel kind of guilty for not being home more often…

It was just complicated. With Dad and Elsa and… everything.

But right now, Gerta’s name lighting up Anna’s phone was hardly complicated at all. She opened the text right away. It was a little like hunger. Sometimes, you don’t realize how homesick you are until home is staring you right in the face.

Anna! I saw your photo on Instagram! I didn’t know you were in Arendelle! she had written.

Anna had that feeling that was growing all the more familiar this week, that people were reaching out and now she had to come up with an excuse to push them away. For once, though, she wasn’t sure she wanted to push Gerta away. She was starting to feel really lonely.

Yeah! Sorry I didn’t mention. We’re here on a volunteer program and I wasn’t sure how much free time we would have.

Anna hesitated, and then added: I have some free time tonight, though. If you wanted to get coffee or something.

The response was immediate: Of course! I would love nothing more!

Unfortunately, your father is away on business, otherwise I would invite him as well…

That’s totally fine. I’ll see him soon enough.

It was more than totally fine. It was a relief. Now did not seem like the time to sort out her complicated feelings toward her father. Anna just wanted to see someone who knew her. Maybe that would help her figure out who she was again.

~~~

At the sight of Gerta’s smile in the little corner of the coffee shop, Anna practically melted. She rushed into her arms, choking up with tears.

“Whoa there, Anna,” Gerta chuckled, though her expression was slightly troubled. She could see that something was up. “Here, why don’t we sit down.”

“Sorry…” Anna mumbled, wiping at her eyes with her sleeve. “I promise, I’m really fine, it’s just…”

And then, entirely pathetically, the way Anna had been avoiding doing this entire trip, Anna burst into tears. Gerta put an arm around her and rubbed her shoulder, the way she used to when Anna was little. “Hey, it’s okay,” Gerta said gently. “Do you want to tell me what’s going on?”

Anna nodded, pulling her chair out and sitting down. Gerta took the seat across from her. “I messed it all up. Everything,” she said miserably. “I.. don’t really want to talk about all of it—” She couldn’t, actually, because of the Ashleigh of it all, but Anna didn’t want to alarm her by saying she couldn’t talk about it. “But I sort of… had a falling out with a friend right before break. And it just… brought up from stuff for me. I dunno. I guess I just feel like a big fraud. Like I’ve been kidding myself. And like everyone can tell. And I can kind of see now how I messed up, like, a lot over the past year… and I was starting to feel like maybe the friends I do have left might just be… better off with other friends.”

She sniffled. “So I guess I pushed them away, and I was pretty mean about it and… yeah. I just don’t know what to do.”

Gerta’s eyebrows went up in surprise, then down in concern, and then landed somewhere sympathetic as Anna told her story. “Oh, Anna,” Gerta said finally. “That does sound sticky.”

“Yeah,” Anna sighed. “I dunno, I’m graduating soon. Maybe it’s for the best. I don’t know if I’m staying in Swynlake. I don’t know what I’m doing at all.” That was a whole different spiral. Anna tried to not to go down that particular rabbit hole.

Gerta was silent for a moment, frowning to herself. “So you think it’s for the best if you’re on your own?”

Anna shrugged. “It might be just… easier. I’m good at being on my own, anyway.”

That was true, even if it was a thought Anna dreaded. Growing up, she’d had Gerta, of course. And her parents, even if they weren’t entirely available, for different reasons. And she’d had the Internet. But she’d learned how to play pretend by herself. She’d learned how to braid her own hair, how to paint her own nails. She had a book club that she was the only member of. She could do that for two months.

The thought made her ache, though.

“Anna, I just don’t think that’s true,” Gerta said gently. “I just— do you remember when you were seven and you got yourself stuck in a tree?”

Anna laughed wetly, despite her skepticism at this random anecdote. Where was Gerta going with this? “Uhh, vaguely…”

“I left to go get a ladder and by the time I’d come back, you were ripping up your jacket to try and make it into a rope!” Gerta recounted, which made Anna laugh again. She’d forgotten about that part, but it did sound like something her younger self would do. “It was very clever.”

Anna smiled. “See, I can be on my own.”

“I think the jacket would disagree,” Gerta chuckled. “The point, Anna, is that you are a resourceful person. But there’s more than one way to get out of a tree. And a ladder is usually much more pleasant. And you won’t ruin your jacket.”

“Okay, I see what you mean now.”

“Are you proud of me, Miss Literature, with my metaphors?” Gerta joked with a cheeky smile.

“Very.”

She was quiet for a moment. Anna supposed she really knew this all along, that the way through this was holding onto the people who cared about her instead of pushing them away. It was just an intimidating thought. All the people she had to apologize to, all the opportunities for people to reject her… and in many cases, they might be justified. Anna’s behavior hadn’t been stellar.

But did she really want to spend the rest of this year alone? And the rest of… well, she’d always thought her uni friends would be her friends for life, right? Was she ready to give that up?

The answer was no. And they weren’t so easily replaced, either, by strangers she projected on or programs she wanted to apply to or hours spent alone with her books. Maybe one day those strangers would become friends or those programs would become real or those books would become her favorites, but the bottom line was that her friends deserved an apology.

“Thank you, Gerta. This helped a lot,” Anna said, taking a sip of her coffee.

“I’m happy to help. You know you can always come to me about these things, right?”

Anna nodded. Much like she had with Olaf just now, Anna had maybe assumed Gerta wouldn’t want to deal with her right now. But they were friends, Anna realized now. And that made all the difference. As long as Anna kept up her end of the bargain.

“Anyway, catch me up! What have I missed?”

And Gerta talked and talked about the estate and the new cat and the preparations for spring, which devolved into laughing and memories and nostalgia, and by the time Anna was walking home in the slowly-dimming Arendelle sunset, already growing later, she felt better than she had in a long time.

Not everything was fixed. Anna still had a long road to go. But at least, now, she had a ladder. And she had one person holding it, smiling up at her. She just had to remember to look around.

#self para #fremover

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freddieofhearts · 4 years

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Bye bye, dears (for now!)

I know there have been a lot of rumours and some posts about me leaving, so here I am to set the record straight and say a quick ‘au revoir’. This post is long, and I don’t expect everyone to read the whole thing—if you just want information on how to keep in touch, or about access to my removed fics, scroll to the bottom. ⬇️

Why are you leaving?

Firstly, of course I’m not leaving Freddie. This is just an ongoing hiatus from the social side of fandom, because while I have some incredible friends here, who have done all they can to support me and have made this experience wonderful in lots of ways—it’s also true that the social space has become more and more toxic for me.

I get a wild amount of hate. Despite never having my ask box enabled on here, people create new accounts just to message me and tell me all the problems in this fandom are my fault, that I’m faking being sick, that I should kill myself, that I’m fat, etc. I also very regularly get hateful comments on AO3.

Obviously I realise that I’m not the only one who receives these cruel attacks, but it’s become increasingly hard to handle them—especially as some people (‘real’ accounts, not faceless anons) do continue to blame me for wider problems in the fandom. It makes me feel consistently sad, anxious, and paranoid, so that I can’t focus on anything Queen-related that I enjoy.

More pressingly, it’s affected my mental health, which is—imperfect at the best of times. As I’ve occasionally alluded to in older posts on this blog, I have a history of anorexia, OCD, PTSD, and some other overlapping issues. Most people who know me in the fandom are also aware that I’m ‘clinically extremely vulnerable’ to Covid-19, significantly immunocompromised, and have been isolating at home for eleven months.

The combination of all of these things + the constant toxic messages has really been triggering me, and leading to an uptick in disordered behaviours, which my body cannot sustain. Every new instance of hate from an anon—every time there’s another indication of groups in the fandom wanting to ostracise me further—my reaction is deeply self-punitive and unhealthy. Ultimately I need to be out of this environment for, at least, a protracted period. My therapist, my partner and my close friends in the fandom support this decision.

So, what went wrong?

In 2019, I expected to be an absolutely tiny blog in the Queen Tumblr landscape. The fandom was already well-established, and I have never worked to ‘build a following’ on here—I think I’ve linked my own fic a maximum of three or four times!—in fact, more or less the opposite. As I mentioned above: ya girl is nutty as a fruitcake. As a result, I often avoid extremely niche things in daily life which cause severe anxiety for me, Relevant examples here: I never look at my timeline. I never intentionally look at my follower number. Yup, it’s strange, I fully admit it, but it’s best for me to go with these things—usually. In Queen fandom, however, this avoidance both of analytic stats and of most direct engagement led to some problems... My followers grew without me realising, and way more people were reading my blog than I was aware of. I was still in a—“Wow, this fandom is very frustrating, and rife with ableism, racism, etc., so how do we fix this???”—mindset, and I wanted to share my opinions, sure! but I also thought I was sharing them with 15-20 like-minded people.

Now, intent is not impact, and I recognise that I was brusque, didn’t phrase things particularly sensitively, and absolutely did hurt some people by criticising the fandom so freely. I still regret this—and I regret just as much the fact that some assholes have used my criticising the fandom on my own blog as implicit justification for attacking authors. I have said on here many times that I don’t condone that behaviour—but I also think there’s some truth in the presumption that these anonymous malcontents felt my critiques somehow ‘permitted’ them to engage in abuse. For the first few months, though, I genuinely had no idea there was a link at all—and so I was initially slow to condemn this abusive behaviour in public, because I was taking it for granted all authors agreed it was shitty. It took someone directly telling me (shoutout to @a-froger-epic) that people had identified a connection between my posts and the anons, before everything fell into place.

I would like to offer my apologies to the fandom at large for not being more quick on the uptake about this, because I feel that had I realised sooner that these people were taking ‘inspiration’ in some way from me, it might have been easier to put a stop to it. It does seem that there is still a lot of confusion about whether I support them and which of their views I agree with. Let’s be 100% clear on this: I do not support the anonymous commenters on AO3. At times there is some, limited overlap between parts of their views and parts of mine, but even that is less than you may think—I often see anonymous comments from so-called ‘Freddie fans’ that I substantially disagree with.

Perhaps even more importantly: I do not support anyone who sends anonymous hate on Tumblr.

What’s all this about ‘overlap’ with the anons?

Let’s do a mini-summary of the myths vs. the truth. There are views I hold which are genuinely unpopular in the fandom—but which I own up to completely, and have never tried to hide in any way. I’ve never needed to use anonymous to share my opinions because I’m completely open about them! What people who don’t know me tend to have ‘heard’ about me, though, is usually a drastic distortion of my real opinions.

What people think I think:

- Freddie should never top.

- It’s okay to send anon hate if someone writes Freddie ‘wrong’.

- It’s more important to correct ‘wrong’ portrayals than to respect other writers.

- It’s inherently wrong to be more interested in band pairings than canon pairings.

- Freddie should be overtly written as a r*pe survivor/victim (and not doing this is wrong).

- Freddie should be overtly written as having an eating disorder (and not doing this is wrong).

- Kink fics are wrong.

What I actually think:

- I believe Freddie did have a strongly defined sexual identity with marked preferences, but I don’t think Jim Hutton lied when he said that Freddie topped. I believe Freddie did top, but this isn’t the time or place to get into my thoughts on why/when/how much. I do believe that my analysis of the sources relevant to this subject is as historically accurate as one can reasonably be in matters of sex (where historical accuracy will always be particularly limited and imperfect)—but I don’t think it’s morally wrong to write Freddie as topping more than he probably did.

- I don’t believe there’s only one ‘right’ version of Freddie (all others being ‘wrong’). I do believe it is possible to be more right or less right—but I’m also conscious of the fact that this scale of value is not one by which everyone measures fanfiction. As a result, then, I don’t think that any perceptions surrounding ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ justify sending anonymous, non-constructive criticism, or outright hate.

- I do believe constructive criticism is a good thing. I welcome and appreciate it myself; I have received it on my fics in Queen fandom, and it has made them better. I have been in writing workshops which included very forceful criticisms, and the value of such feedback has been intimately and immediately part of my life as a writer for years. However: in this case, I have accepted that my opinion differs from the general community preference, and so I no longer offer any constructive criticism (outside private beta-reading). I haven’t changed my view, but I’ve changed my practice to align with community norms.

- I do not think any single, individual writer has a personal responsibility to write about Freddie Mercury in any given way. That ranges from including the more distressing topics to which I’ve devoted attention (such as trauma)—to concentrating on ‘canon’ pairings like Jimercury—to, even, focusing on Freddie at all.

“Now, that doesn’t sound like you, @freddieofhearts,” you might be thinking. And I know it doesn’t; I think something I’ve done a poor job of articulating is the difference between how I view each individual fan—namely, as free to shape their creative experience at will, even in ways that I might find distressing or offensive; even in ways that you might find distressing or offensive—and the way I view the Collective. I think people have interpreted some of my critiques of ‘Queen Fandom’ as meaning something like: “You-in-particular, a specific Queen fan, are doing it wrong and should change everything about how you do it; also you don’t really care about Freddie.”

And—that’s not it. What any given fan, as an individual, does, isn’t a problem. And that can be true alongside—concurrently with—a multivalent critique of how the fandom is lacking in representation of Freddie’s life, with all that that (wonderful, deservedly celebrated, but also profoundly traumatic) life entailed. I still hold that view; I still have myriad problems with ‘the fandom’ (structurally, collectively, historically and presently—from the 1990s to the 2020s). Some of what I want to work on (away from the social life of fandom) is expressing those critiques with greater nuance, in ways that can’t be misinterpreted as shading any particular fanfiction author or subgenre of story.

In brief: I haven’t changed my mind, but I think Tumblr is an untenable environment in which to discuss the things I want to analyse, especially as there is an ever-present danger of hurting someone.

Can we keep in touch? Where is the fic?

I will drop by this account periodically to check out posts that friends have sent me, so you can always sent me a private message to ask for my contact details on the other app that I’m using now for fandom friends. Multiple Freddie conversations and projects are going on over there, off-Tumblr, with a much ‘gentler’ environment and no bad actors—I personally love it!

All my fic has been downloaded and saved. I don’t want to deal with constant harassment on AO3, but I’m happy to share a copy with anyone who missed it and wants to read/re-read something. I also saved everyone’s lovely comments and thoughtful con-crit, so none of that has been lost or erased.

Thank you to everyone who welcomed me to the fandom, made me think, taught me, shared with me, sent me into fits of the giggles, collaborated with me creatively, and otherwise made this one hell of a ride! Love you all. ❤️

#au revoir my dears #lil gay bby

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humanmoodring-retired · 3 years

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Good Vibrations & Coffee Contemplations || Raina & Nadia

TIMING: Current PARTIES: @rainaim & @humanmoodring SUMMARY: Nadia grabs a coffee. Raina makes a friend. CONTENT: brief parental death mention

Raina leaned against the counter top, bored by the lack of customers. The morning rush had come and gone. Now, only a few coffee connoisseurs trickled in every twenty to forty minutes. Her shift wasn’t going to be over for another hour and a half, and though she knew there was plenty that she could do to pass the time, it was hard to find the encouragement, especially when the overhead speakers had died out and there was nobody with the know-how to fix them. She scrolled through her phone, only looking up at a sudden shadow against the door. A customer! Raina shot up and beamed at the woman as she entered the shop. “Hi! Welcome to Coffee Plus.” She punched in her I.D and waited for the woman to begin her order, finally glad to have something to do that wasn’t scrubbing the burnt muffin tins in the back.

Sometimes, Nadia preferred to just stay in her apartment. Most times, really, if she was being honest. And she was trying to do that more often. But she stayed inside too much, and the days were getting longer, and warmer, and generally more enjoyable. And she liked being warm, and she was thinking too much in her apartment. And… she’d run out of coffee, which meant she needed to go somewhere to get a much needed dose of caffeine. Which was how she ended up at Coffee Plus, hoping that the barista wasn’t that poor girl that she and Sammy had ended up tormenting. It wasn’t, thankfully, just a young woman who went from bored to very, very excited so fast it was like emotional whiplash. Nadia blinked. “Uh, yeah. Can I--” she acted like she was deciding what she wanted when really she already knew. “Can I get a triple shot of espresso.” She needed to not fall asleep for a few more hours, at least. “And, uh, a blueberry muffin.” She guessed that maybe she should probably eat something, too.

As the woman approached the counter, Raina looked past her to see if anybody had followed. Nope, she was alone. Disappointment fell over her for a brief movement before she reapplied the smile and gave her attention back to the woman. She had been hopeful that there’d be more customers to help-- that the remainder of her shift would be spent using up her time, not slugging through wiping down each table until her replacement came in to relieve her. Raina nodded enthusiastically as the woman finally ordered. A triple espresso? That was easy. “Sure thing. Can I get a name--” She looked around. “Never mind. Why don’t you go on and find yourself a seat and I’ll bring it over to you when it’s ready.” She kept her smile as she turned back towards the espresso machine. Raina waited for the filter to drip the espresso into the glass below, humming as she went. She quickly warmed up the muffin and put it on a small, off-white plate. Once the woman’s order was ready, she walked it slowly to the table. “Here you are, hon!” She didn’t know if the woman was older or younger than her, but it didn’t matter-- Southern charm leaked from her candy coated tongue.

There wasn’t really anyone else to focus on as Nadia felt the barista cycle through disappointment and hope and just overwhelming enthusiasm at doing her job. “Uh, yeah, thanks.” Nadia managed a tired smile and went over to a table. She checked her phone for a bit, answering a few text messages and looking over a journal article werewolves in medieval Icelandic literature, which was pretty niche reading, even for her, but some website that she’d been on a few weeks ago kept sending her emails with journal articles attached, and she… kept reading them. She didn’t know how accurate they were, and she doubted that Kaden would give her anything more about werewolves beside the fact that most of them were monsters, but it was still an interesting read, even if the words were a little blurry. She looked up when her coffee was brought to her, her smile lopsided. The younger woman was kind and sincere, and Nadia appreciated it, even if it was a lot. She couldn’t help but return the kindness. “I appreciate you bringing it to me. Really, I could have grabbed it myself.”

“Oh, it’s no problem.” Raina looked down at the table, realizing she had forgotten a napkin. She held up a finger and returned to the small table next to the door and grabbed a few before she returned to the customer. She placed them down neatly next to the plate and smiled. “Ain’t got much goin’ on anyhow, so I figured I’d up my customer service game.” She wrinkled her nose. “It’s too much, isn’t it?” She looked over her shoulder at the clock. Barely a blink had gone by. She frowned slightly. Well, the least she could do was start wiping down the tables so that her replacement didn’t have to. “I’m new here,” Raina said aloud as she grabbed a wet dish rag and disinfecting spray. She moved to a table far, but not too far from the customer. “Just moved here… a couple weeks ago?” She nodded as if in approval of herself. “You from around here?” It was small talk-- not something everyone liked, but Raina was desperate.

It was weird to be treated like it was a sit-down restaurant when it was a coffee shop, Nadia thought, but she didn’t mind. “Well, still. It’s kind of you.” She took a sip of her drink, careful not to gulp it down even though she wanted to. It was hot and bitter, and it didn’t do much to wake her up, but it was the thought of it that counted. “Oh, no, dude. Not a lot at all. It’s really nice, actually.” And it was. The other woman was well-intentioned. Nadia didn’t have to be an empath to tell that. “Yeah,” she asked. She could kind of tell the barista was new, but she didn’t want to point that out. Southern charm wasn’t exactly common in Maine, though. Not with an accent that thick, at least. “How do you like it so far?” She took another sip of her coffee, picked at her muffin. “No, no, I’m from Arizona. I moved here, like, a year and a half ago.” Had it really been that long? It didn’t feel like it had been that long. Then again, it wasn’t like she’d been present the entire time. Nadia suddenly wasn’t that hungry, but she picked at the muffin some more, anyway.

Raina began to wipe down the table and looked over at the woman as she drank her coffee. She watched her expression carefully to see if the coffee was too bitter, too hot, or too cold. It seemed just right by the looks on her face, or lack thereof. She looked back down at the table and decided she was done with her current project and moved onto the next. “It’s good. People keep to ‘emselves mostly, which I don’t mind…” She shrugged. “Everyone’s different, but I do like sayin’ goodmornin, you know?” Raina offered a small smile, “But overall s’great. I’ve got a nice roommate.” Onto the next table. “Arizona?” She hummed, “I’ve never been out West, but I imagine it’s a lot warmer than out here, or even Tennessee.” She scrubbed at a stubborn coffee ring on the table. “So how’re you likin’ it? Any tips for a newbie?” Raina asked, looking up from the now spotless table to look at the customer.

Nadia did her best not to gulp down the bitter liquid as it cooled, eager for something to start taking effect. Maybe it just wouldn’t. Maybe she’d be waiting on the caffeine to kick in for the rest of her life; she’d exhausted it’s usefulness, and now she was to be perpetually tired for forever. Whatever. It was fine. At the very least, chatting with the friendly barista wasn’t at risk of putting her to sleep. “Yeah, totally. I get the wanting a good morning and everything. I’m sure people will start talking more as you get settled. It’s a small town. You’d be surprised how much everybody just… knows everybody.” And they did. It seemed like there was never more than two degrees of separation between her and just about everyone that she met in White Crest. She laughed. “Yeah, it’s pretty fucking hot out there. Desert and all, you know? Phoenix isn’t named after a fire bird because it’s temperatures are balmy.” She kept a more lighthearted disposition, adjusting in her seat more comfortably. “You from Tennessee? Uh, I like it well enough. It’s... I like it a lot better than I thought I would.” She’d stuck around, hadn’t she? She had people here, now. And it wasn’t like she could go home. “Tips… tips… Let me think… Don’t fuck with the mimes.”

“I’ve heard lots about small towns,” Raina said as she wiped her brow with the back of her free hand. She continued to scrub at another coffee ring on a different table, this one more stubborn than the last. “Guess I’ll just have to put on my best manners ‘an show everyone that I mean well.” She knew that newcomers could scare others off. That was the last thing she wanted to do. How was she supposed to find other people like her if she ran them off instead before she could even have the discussion? “Ah, right, right.” Raina nodded. “I heard the road melts. The houses, too?” She wasn’t sure if that was true, but she thought she’d seen it on the news. It was hard to tell what was a meme and what was real nowadays. “Sure am. Born and raised in Knoxville. Big enough place that not everyone is in your business, but small enough to meet someone’s family member twice removed on a trip to the grocery store.” Not that she ever had that problem. Her family wasn’t from Knoxville. A pang of homesickness hit her and she took a deep breath before moving onto the next table. “Mimes?” She laughed. She’d seen the warnings online, but wasn’t sure what to do with them. “Tell me, they hurt people with their fake boxes and goin’ downstairs routines?”

“I believe in you,” Nadia said, and she did. The woman in front of her seemed endlessly pleasant and kind. Nadia could feel it. She laughed. She felt lighter. It was easier to eat some of the muffin, the food not sticking in her throat as bad. “Nah, the roads and the houses don’t melt. Though, I’ve cooked eggs on the sidewalk before. Knoxville sounds nice, though. Phoenix is one of the biggest cities in the country. Sometimes, I didn’t even recognize my neighbors. Of course, I kept to myself a lot.” In college, the only person she’d really talked to was her roommate, Brooke, and whoever Brooke dragged in and out of her life. And that had been nice, and the thoughts of it hurt her less, now. She could remember them with fondness without the bitterness, even if questions would always linger. “Dolly Parton from anywhere near there?” she asked, genuinely curious. She didn’t know shit about Tennessee. She raised an eyebrow, and kept her tone light. She fucking hated the mimes, but it was best not to come off too strong. “Nah, they’ll just shoot you.”

Raina was glad that the customer-- no, the woman! She was her own person, not just somebody who was feeding into the capitalistic society (or coffee culture). She raised a brow. “Oh, really? I swear I thought houses melted…” Raina shrugged, “Guess I was wrong. Interesting about the egg thing. You didn’t eat ‘em, did ya?” Even if the woman had, Raina wouldn’t judge. “I guess that’s one story to tell to people.” Raina finally knocked out the stain and moved to the next table, which was closest to where the woman sat. The table offered little resistance to her cleaning efforts. She set the rag down for a moment once the customer asked about Dolly Parton. “Oh, yes.” She let out a laugh. “Even if you ain’t a Dolly Parton fan, you’re a Dolly fan in Tennessee.” Her own mother who’d sworn off country music even listened to her. The older Raina got, the more she felt like she could appreciate the woman, too. “Are you a fan?” She asked with a smile. Raina picked the rag back up and moved onto the next table. “Shoot you, huh?” She hummed, “well I’ll keep that in mind.” She wasn’t sure if the woman was being truthful or not. Maybe she was. Raina straightened up after she had cleaned every table but the one the woman was sitting at. “You don’t mind me askin’ your name, do you? Feels weird to think of you as someone I’m servin’ coffee when we’re havin’ such a nice conversation ‘an all.”

“We’ve gotten pretty good about building our houses with materials that don’t melt,” Nadia explained. “It wouldn’t do to have melted houses everytime the thermostat hits Fahrenheit 451. Okay, not really. More like Fahrenheit 115. When it’s, like, fucking miserable out.” So hot that heat came off the ground in waves. So hot that it was impossible to go outside without shoes on. Nadia missed the heat, but, damn, it was dangerous. Still didn’t melt houses, though. Not that she’d been aware of, at least. “I mean, I put them in a pan, and it was really just to see if it could happen. My roommate at the time ate them, though. She said I should have added more pepper.” And not cooked them in the sun, but, hey. It was a fun experiment between two people that weren’t particularly scientifically inclined. She grinned, enjoying the other woman’s lightheartedness. “Makes sense. You know, I’m more of a rock kinda gal, but I think it’s a fucking sin not to be a fan of Dolly, you know?” She could feel the other woman’s skepticism, and Nadia sighed. She rolled up her sleeve, exposing the scar from when her doppleganger mime had shot her last year. “They like to shoot people, too, apparently.” She put her sleeve back down and gave a wry grin. “My name’s Nadia. And you? I’d hate to keep referring to you as the super chill barista in my head, too.”

Raina leaned against the neighboring table, wincing slightly as it began to make a small screeching noise from her weight as it moved against the floor. “Sorry ‘bout that.” She pulled it back into its original spot and stood up straight. “That sounds downright miserable. Now I know y’all have dry heat as opposed to humidity… not sure which I’d rather battle.” Maybe one day she’d be able to figure out how to pull water right out of the air. Maybe when her magic was stronger. When she was stronger. She wouldn’t be able to do that in a place like Arizona, she realized. Yeah, definitely not moving out west anytime soon-- at least, not to any deserts. “Well, I guess that brings a new meaning to the term sunny side up, don’t it?” She flashed the woman a smile before she folded the rag in on itself. “I’ll be honest, I don’t listen to much music. When I do, it’s all Top 40.” She cracked an embarrassed smile. “Mostly ‘cause I listen to a lot of what my momma and daddy did, you know?” she looked down at her feet. It’d been awhile since she’d listened to her mom sing trot, or since she’d watch her dad play out the drum solos in the air from Phil Collins’ greatest hits album. She felt a sudden wave of sadness. Raina cleared her throat, immediately eradicating the feeling. It was fleeting, but there was a heaviness in her chest. “Oh, you’re tellin me--” She was pulled from her thoughts as she was shown the scar on her arm. She blinked a few times, trying to understand why a mime could ever want to do that before she looked up to meet Nadia’s eyes. “Oh! Nadia!” She smiled at her descriptor being a super chill barista, even if she couldn’t take her eyes off of the scar. “M’name is Raina!” She looked down at her nametag, which she only now noticed was missing. “Nadia’s a pretty name,” She sounded it out again, “Sounds like you should be in some storybook, I dunno.” She cracked a smile, though the stab wound was still on her mind.

“Personally, I always preferred the dry heat. Easier to breathe, that way,” Nadia said. Though… Maine’s humidity and more temperate climate was growing on her. Maybe it had more to do with the people than the place, though. White Crest? She could take it or leave it. It was as fascinating to live in as it was dangerous, two sides to the same coin. She laughed at the joke, genuinely pleased by the pun. “Totally new meaning to sunny side up, for sure.” She took a bite of her muffin, chased it with a sip of coffee. She was enjoying this, genuinely. She needed to get out more, Nadia realized. At the very least so that she could have interactions like this, something that wasn’t all in her head. Her head wasn’t the most fun place to be, sometimes. “Nothing wrong with listening to the popular stuff. It’s popular for a reason, you know?” There was a wave of sadness that followed that, though, in the aftermath of the other woman mentioning her mother and father, and it caused Nadia to think of her own parents. Their disdain for her. The way her mother had told her to never call back or she’d tell the cops. She managed a smile, though, as they rocketed through another few waves of emotions, of confusement and happiness, and concerne. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to show off the scar, but it’d been what she’d done in the moment. Live and learn. Not everyone was as fascinated in scars as others. “Nice to meet you, Raina.” She laughed. “I don’t know about a storybook.” Maybe a horror movie. “I did study a lot of folklore and fairytales in college, though.”

Raina tried to push the scar from her mind. It was silly to focus on something like that. Yes, maybe Nadia had been attacked by an angry mime, but that didn’t mean they were all bad. Her altercation with the thing in the alleyway alongside Irene sent shivers down her spine and she decided to push the thought of mimes, or mime-esque things far from her mind. Maybe it was for the better, the witch thought-- the warnings that these individuals came in tow with. “Well,” The brunette laughed, “see! You’re already part of the way there!” Raina looked down at the chair across from Nadia and contemplated slipping into it, but decided against it at the last moment. Instead, she busied herself with scrubbing another table. Maybe she had missed something. It wasn’t polite to bother customers as long as she had been. “I went to school for art. One of our projects was to illustrate a children’s book…” She lazily dragged the rag against the tabletop, “that mighta gone mighty well with whatever you were studyin!” She grinned at her before folding the rag up again. She was having a nice time talking to Nadia. It wasn’t often that the patrons who came into Coffee Plus humored her with conversation. If they did, they were usually overtly rude. “Which one’s your favorite?” Raina asked as an afterthought, shuffling between the chairs as she went back to the counter to put the rag in the bin and wash her hands.

“Oh, yeah, sure. Studying the Tuatha De Danann practically makes me a Disney princess,” Nadia said, but there was no bite to her words, and she smiled as she said them. She looked at Raina, at the way she’d hesitated near the chair across from Nadia, contemplating something (sitting, probably), before she decided against it and started back to her work. “Art, huh? That sounds nice. What kind of children’s book did you illustrate?” She laughed. “I don’t know how well it would have gone with some of my research, though, unfortunately. Not children’s illustrations, at least. Sometimes fairytales aren’t as gentle as cartoons want you to believe.” This town was proof of that, too. “Favorite?” she murmured. “Damn, I think I was asked that recently, too… It’s hard to choose. Like picking a favorite kid or something.” She thought about it again. “There’s a story called ‘East of the Sun, West of the Moon.’ It’s Norwegian. Kind of like ‘Beauty and the Beast’ or the myth of Cupid and Psyche. There’s a prince in disguise, and trials, and a happy ending. Sometimes those are kind of rare, surprisingly. It’s good, though. A different take on the usual.” Watching as the other woman went and washed her hands, Nadia waited for her to look back up before she toed at the chair across from her, pushing it away from the table. “You know, if you wanna sit, at least until someone else comes in, I wouldn’t mind the company.” The other woman was nice to be around. Her emotions were nice, pleasant. “I don’t suppose you’re also interested in obscure fairytales?”

Raina smiled at the woman from across the way and scrubbed the soap in between her fingers. The witch wrinkled her nose as the citrus-y scent lifted to her nostrils. “It was a project of sorts. We all got a few pages, then it was compiled into this bigger book kinda thing.” She smiled fondly as she recalled said project. She had included her little family, including her aunt, as background characters. She still had a copy of the book back at her apartment-- unable to part with it prior to her move to White Crest. “Well, of ‘course not. It ain’t all butterflies, but I think that’s what makes ‘em interesting. Ain’t about bein black ‘n white, but it’s nice when they have happy endings.” She remembered playing princess of the castle with her father-- cardboard boxes made into extravagant towers, her stuffed animals being that of her subjects. Raina decided not to focus on the sadness that was eager to sweep through her at the memory. No, she’d remember those moments for what they were. “That sounds good, I’ll have to look it up.” She meant it when she said it. She tucked it away for later, deciding that once Nadia left, she’d get on her phone and do her own research. Finally, she turned the water off and dried her hands on a clean towel. When Nadia offered the chair across from her, she let her smile grow a little wider. “Wasn’t sure if you’d get all weirded out by your barista tryna kick it with you or not.” Raina crossed the distance between them and delicately placed herself into the chair, doing her best to avoid smacking limbs against either the chair or the table. “Not so much obscure as just havin’ really been into princesses and all that while growin’ up,” Raina admitted with a laugh. She folded her hands in her lap and thought for a moment, “I only really liked it when good things happened, but there were a few that are… a little more sinister that my mama would tell me.” The fond smile stayed pinned to her features as she let out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding. “I know a few Korean ones, too.”

“That sounds kinda fun, an illustration project,” Nadia said. “Gotta admit, most of the stuff I remember doing were less projects and more papers. Buncha shit on, like, meaning and theme and literary analysis. I can dissect a sentence in a poem and tell you what I think the author’s trying to convey with punctuation, but I can’t draw stick figures to save my life.” Handwriting? Sure, hers was decent when she didn’t rush it. Art just wasn’t her thing. Nadia could appreciate it, though. “You’re right, of course. I’ve been bigger into the happy endings, lately. Kinda dig them, actually.” Nadia could use a few more happy endings in her life. Monster gets vanquished, protagonist gets peace. She liked that. She kind of wanted that. “You’ll have to tell me what you think of it.” She smiled, pleased when Raina sat down in front of her. She liked being able to have a nice conversation. “Trust me, nothing weird about having good company. But, yeah, I really like princesses when I was little, too. Though, I also had an unhealthy obsession with the Brothers Grimm. Kinda dark, not really for children. I liked them, though.” She’d like a lot of things she probably shouldn’t have. Nadia’s smile echoed Raina’s. “Yeah? I read the ones my ma didn’t tell me.” And she was interested, leaning forward, eyes bright. “Really? Any you’d be interested in sharing?”

Raina had her fair share of papers, too. She never liked them much, the words always getting jumbled. She’d never been much of a reader, more of a listener. “Sounds like you had your work cut out for you,” The witch smiled. “Writin’ all those papers and whatnot.” She shook her head. “Glad I don’t ever hav’ta look at another report again-- not workin’ here, at least.” She hummed at Nadia’s admission of not being able to draw. “I know you probably get this a lot, but it just takes a bit of practice. Anythin’ is art if you really want it to be.” She should’ve made herself her one of three free drinks. She decided she’d do it later once Nadia had left. “Brothers Grimm?” She tilted her head to the side, “I sometimes forget that Disney really just walked on in and ripped the stories from their original aspects ‘an made everything flowery.” Raina twiddled her thumbs, “but I s’pose that’s what a general audience wants, y’know?” She didn’t know much about what people wanted, but she did know that Tangled was one of her favorite Disney films while the actual story of Rumpelstiltskin was terrifying. Nadia’s interest made Raina’s ears burn. What if she recalled them wrong? It’d been so long since she’d heard them, or read them. She cleared her throat. “Well, there’s one ‘bout a fox, ‘bout how a family wanted-- or, more specifically, a father wanted a daughter, even if she was a fox.” She thought for a moment, doing her best to recall the details of the story her mother had told her, “They got a girl, but in the night, their livestock would start goin’ missing… and each time a brother would go out and report her to their father.” She tapped her fingers, tracing out the words her mother had said to her on the back of her hand as she tried to pull the story from memory, “And each time, the father’d kick the boys out and say it wasn’t happenin. Finally, a few years had passed ‘an two of the brothers came back ‘round… only to find that their family was gone. All but the sister. She ended up eatin’ her brothers, claimin’ that it’d make her human.” She nodded, “I think that was all of it-- I might’ve missed a few points, seein’ as I haven’t heard it in awhile.” She let out a soft laugh. “Pretty gruesome, I think.”

“It was interesting, for sure,” Nadia said. “I always kind of liked writing papers. I like words, language, the way that sentences flow when time and care is taken to putting them together. I’m, like, a lot better at writing than I am talking.” She laughed. “I don’t know, you’ve got to write down people’s orders, right? I bet that, for some people, that’s practically a research paper in length. Four pumps of vanilla, three pumps of caramel, two packets of Splenda, whipped cream on the side, shake, not stirred. All that shit.” She’d been told plenty of times that she just had to practice to get better at drawing, but she… didn’t have the patience for it. Or maybe she didn’t and just didn’t want to apply herself. “I might just, like, stick to writing, maybe. I’m sure you’re much better at the whole visual art thing. But yeah! The Brothers Grimm kind of gathered and compiled a lot of fairytales that we know of today. Snow White, Rapunzel. Sleeping Beauty. They compiled them together in a collection of several hundred ‘household’ tales. They weren’t really for children, though.” They were warnings, a lot of them, stories to keep people in line, stories to tell how things became the way that they are. Nadia listened with interest as Raina told her tale, remembering the details and filing them away for later. “Sometimes, there doesn’t really seem to be a point to stories. If I remember correctly, there was a story about a young girl that was being chased by a witch and got turned into a lake somehow. From what I remember, the witch ended up drinking her. For the life of me, I can’t remember the moral of that one. Grim and gruesome seems to be the way a lot of folk tales go.”

Raina was grateful for storytelling. It brought people together. At least, for the most part it did. She had to look at the conversation that she and Nadia were now having because of this. It made her feel good that she had successfully gotten somebody to speak to her for longer than two minutes. She knew that her too-sweet optimism could be a lot for most people, and though for the most part Raina was actually shy, those were moments where she knew she was being looked down upon. When it came to people who actually wanted something to do with her, she flourished. “Rapunzel, I think-- I really liked that one.” She smoothed her apron down as it curved around her knees. “Not a huge fan of the original though, too... “ Her expression pinched, “much, I think.” She looked towards the door as a customer shouldered through and looked at the counter, their face screwed in confusion. “Ah, dang. Looks like we’re cuttin’ short.” She looked at Nadia with a small smile before getting out of her seat. “Stick ‘round, if you want. Or, I mean-- Only if you want, no pressure or nothin’, just been lovely talkin’ to the not-so-locals, but also locals, y’know?” She hurried toward the counter and began to take the customer’s order, feeling light on her feet. Maybe everything that had happened in White Crest so far had led her to moments with those she might be able to consider friends, or at the very least, people who’d sit down and have a chat.

#chatzy: raina im #good vibrations and coffee contemplations #parental death tw

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galactichoneybee92 · 3 years

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The Importance of Separating Authors From Their Work (AKA Nobuhiro Watsuki is Pedo Trash but Rurouni Kenshin is a Masterpiece)

So I was scrolling aimlessly through TikTok (As you do) and I came across a post from a very opinionated tiktoker about how many new anime fans are getting into Rurouni Kenshin andthey don’t blame you if you didn’t know before but that the author has been charged with quite a lot of child pornography and is essentially a pedophile. They said that if you “absolutely must” watch the show, or read the manga, you should pirate it so as not to financially support a terrible person. And I so agree with that. Pedophiles are some of the worst people on the planet and I will say it to their fucking face...BUT... you know what was not needed? The goddamn condescension.

It kind of works to exemplify some of the very black or white, all or nothing thinking that I have seen on social media these days. This person was acting like, sure, pirate it if you have to watch it. If you simply must with the implication being that they would be abstaining because the creator is vile and that they low-key, high-key thought that everyone else should too. And I agree, the creator is vile. But the series itself is old enough that you can easily find it pirated or even just purchase the books used from secondhand sellers, and it’s good enough that I actually still think you should. And here is the kicker: You’re not a bad person if you still want to read the series, and absolutely nothing bad will happen if you do.

I can think the creator is a terrible person while still really enjoying the series he created because the series doesn’t feel like an extension of him. I will admit that it’s been a while since I’ve read it, but I adore the series and I don’t remember there being any creepy undertones or hints of pedophilia in it at all. If there were, it certainly wasn’t glorified. And I will say that I don’t think that new anime/manga fans should avoid it because the series itself is excellent.

If you’re really bothered by the fact that the creator isn’t a good guy than you absolutely don’t HAVE to read it, and I don’t want to make anyone feel like they do. But I also want to stress that it is absolutely still fine if you DO want to. And it doesn’t matter if you started reading it before you learned about the author or after, and it doesn’t matter if you continued to read/watch it after knowing. It’s okay if you haven’t started it yet and still want to even after learning about how gross Nobuhiro is because authors aren’t their work.

It’s kind of like how a lot of people on social media are trying to cancel classic works of literature because they found out that the author was racist or homophobic. It just feels like performative activism because whether or not you enjoy the works of H.P Lovecraft has absolutely no bearing on who you are as a person. And you aren’t a better person for not reading Lovecraft. In that same vein, whether or not you read Rurouni Kenshin also has no bearing on who you are as a person.

The biggest difference in my analogy is that Lovecraft is no longer profiting off of his books as he is quite dead (I’m not sure where the money is going at this point, tbh) and Nobuhiro is still very much alive, but as we have discussed it’s so SO easy to get ahold of this series without putting a single dime in his pocket. I honestly don’t even know if you CAN purchase new English editions anymore (is it even still printing?)

Basically my entire point is this: You can boycott his series if you want but it is literally depriving yourself of an excellent manga for absolutely nothing. Whether or not you BUY it matters, because that actually has a quantifiable effect on the world. But whether or not you simply read it? or watch it? That has absolutely no effect at all, aside from maybe garnering some very niche social media clout for being able to flex that you didn’t do this thing.

And I’m well aware that I sound like a salty elder Millennial on here, and I would like to reiterate that there isn’t anything wrong with choosing not to read it if it is just something that doesn’t interest you, or if you’re truly not able to separate the author from his work and it really disturbs you. I feel like if anything, my tone is stemming from the condescension I felt from the creator of that Tiktok, but who knows maybe they didn’t mean to come off that way either. But I really just wanted to get my point of view on the situation out there. Frankly, I never cared who the fuck the author of the series was because when I’m reading something I’m thinking about the plot and the characters and not at all about whoever wrote it. And at this point, with these recent revelations, I now care enough not to recommend financially supporting him.

But if you like to think of it this way, pirating his work is like stealing from a pedophile. Enjoy his series for free.

#rurouni kenshin #kenshin #anime #manga #performative activism

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mirrorballls · 4 years

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* jordan connor, cis male + he/him | you know zachary chamberlin, right? they’re twenty-five, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, six months? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to aliens exist by blink-182 like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that stepping outside for long, meandering phone calls back home, messy hair and sunken eyes from another last night scrolling through wikipedia, and coffee cold and black, a shock to the system and a tether to what’s left of reality thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is january 23rd, so they’re an aquarius, which is unsurprising, all things considered.

we meet again.

somehow i ended up playing all water signs and if i didn’t immediately add an air sign as soon as possible there would have been dire consequences. will be harassing everyone for plots later (and circling back on plots for my other Three) <3

basics.

full name: zachary david chamberlin. birthday: janurary 23, 1995. big three: aquarius sun, virgo moon, scorpio rising. sexuality: gay. occupation: works concessions at zoinkies. neighborhood: lives in delphinus heights.

bio.

it’s hard to try and look at zachary’s life and think critically about why he is the way he is. because with him, he’s very much what you see is what you get. but we’re gonna try.

zachary was born to parents who are a testament to opposites attracting: a father with his head in the clouds, a mother who kept him firmly planted. his parents met more than once before they finally decided to give it a shot, and after they did, they were in it for the long haul, for better or for worse, etc.

he was the youngest of two, with an older sister that would go on to be their family’s wild child. so maybe his parents indulged him too much, his little make believe stories and before-bedtime anxieties. or maybe his quirks flew under the radar, because his sister’s hell raising needed a little more parental intervention. but zachary was free to become whatever weirdo he was going to be. and boy did he.

zachary has always known he was different. now, picking out exactly why was harder for him, but he always knew there was something setting him apart from his peers. he was never able to really connect with them because of it: he’s always been extremely close to his family, to the few that took the time to actually listen to and try to understand him, but he had a harder time cracking others. he was shy and nervous and overall a pretty lonely kid because of it all. he tried to find his people, but he never did.

but it never really got to him, because he did have his family after all, and he always found ways to entertain himself. he spent most of high school a) extremely online, be it reading conspiracy theories and creepypastas or gaming or b) hanging out by himself, never one too ashamed to spend hours in the library or going out alone, for a coffee or a movie. he lived a very solitary life, and he’s largely convinced himself it was by choice: not because his peers wouldn’t hang out with him but because he truly preferred to be that way (which like, his therapist tried to get to the bottom of more than once, but he will not budge on it).

after he graduated, he remained the same kind of isolated though. he got his Social Quota from interacting with whatever roommates he’d weasel his way into living with, or with the people he worked with at Target, but he still spent a lot of his time online, making more niche friends on the internet than he had ever been able to in real life.

but even to someone as set in monotony and solitude as zachary was, that gets redundant, toxic even. after a lengthy, drawn out for weeks talk with his parents about it, he decided to go and live with family in irving for a little bit. his aunt and uncle would let him stay with them, he’d get a change of scenery, a chance to reinvent himself and meet new people somewhere smaller than his bustling hometown. but what started as a little vacation turned into something more long term. he felt so much better suited to living in irving, where things moved slower and people were more open. on a whim, he used his lack of tethering to his hometown as an advantage, and decided to make his move to irving a little more permanent. he’s recently gotten a job working the concession stand at zoinkies and moved out of his aunt and uncle’s guestroom to an apartment in delphinus heights.

all in all, he’s the same old zachary, but more open now i suppose. he still has all his little conspiracy theories and neurosis, but as he’s gotten older, he’s decided he wants to be more open to people. he’s realized that, while he still greatly values his alone time, getting to be somewhere as fun and lively as irving and around his cousins (waves to erica and her sister) is really fulfilling, because he’s finally getting to go out and feel apart of the world at large. he’s maybe coming to terms now with the fact that his life has been lonely and that’s not what he wants anymore, so he’s making an effort.

but he’s still unapologetically himself. as established, what you see is what you get: he’s melodramatic and a little standoffish, but he’s also very earnest and loyal to those who give him a chance..... not to start describing him like a senior dog at an animal shelter....

this bio is shorter than my others and i’m sorry for that but also more time for me to jump into replies now am i right.......

connections.

okay so bsacially. he’s new in town and i don’t think he’s made too many connections because i want to just take everything fresh you know...

but that being said. if anyone lives in delphinus and wants a quirky roommate lmk... i want so badly to assemble a group of ragtag roommates for zachary to be apart of.

#irvingintro #back into the reply trenches now.... dont mine me.....#mine nice. i have a degree in english.

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icedmo · 4 years

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Oh, i finally caught up with the chihayafuru manga yesterday so i’ll be talking about it here! Keep scrolling lol i’m just talking to myself.

Tl;dr? Peak fiction. Please, please watch and read it.

More detailed thoughts?

The most striking thing about chihayafuru is the love flowing out of the pages and screen; the way you can tell how much love has been poured into this series, how much love has been put into these characters, into every page, into each sentence - dialogue or simple text. I can’t tell you how rare it is to get this feeling whilst consuming media. It’s just so clear how much love this has been crafted with. Beyond compelling, really.

It’s the way chihayafuru isn’t afraid of making it’s characters lose. It’s the way chihayafuru makes it’s characters lose right when they’ve been set up to win, when any other series would give them the win, when you’re so hyped only to be met with a loss. Again to my first point, how much love has been poured into these characters and plot. It’s bold, it’s great. It’s realistic. Chihayafuru isn’t afraid at all to make it’s main cast, specifically Chihaya, lose.

And to talk about character growth in chihayafuru... characters like Shinobu and Arata, initially presented at the top of their lot, almost god like. Untouchable. Already honed to perfection, you look at them and go ‘how is it possible for them to grow?’ They exclude the energy of ever stable characters, unmoving finish lines. That’s how you view them. But then chihayafuru excels beyond your expectations. Genuinely, it would’ve worked fine to keep these characters as those near-deities, but it doesn’t. Chiahyafuru makes characters first painted as perfection grow and its amazing how it manages this.

Seriously, it’s such a simple concept, but it’s mind boggling. The writing in chihayafuru is simply top notch and i’m here repeating myself about the love poured into all it’s characters so evident. Shinobu and Arata’s growth wouldn’t have been possible if there wasn’t so much love poured into them. Example, Arata’s strength coming from how he always visualised himself playing in his old apartment, playing karuta with Taichi and Chihaya. That strength turned into a weakness, almost. Something that actually prevented his growth. And Shinobu? I could talk about her all day. But I won’t, because it’s 4am, and if you’ve read chihayafuru i am certain you know how amazing of a character she is, LOL.

Character growth, character growth... can i mention Chihaya and Inokuma’s first match? I genuinely was blown away watching it, jaw on the ground. The way it so clearly showed how much Chihaya grown, putting all her development on full blast, on full display. It was so amazing, i can’t even explain it. I mean, during season one you saw Chihaya as some amazing player - but whilst watching her play Inokuma you can’t help but think that season one Chihaya, who you previously saw as amazing, was... so weak, so unrefined. The match was short yet was such an amazing accumulation of all her development and showcasing it to you. No - Inokuma isn’t weak, not one bit. Chihaya is just stronger, she’s amazing, she’s worked so hard and you’ve watched her get to this point.

Chihayafuru being about a sport where gender and age don’t matter does so, so much for it. It has something any other shounen or sports series could never reach thematically. Harada-sensei, Inokuma, Sakurazawa-san.... the thematic game age-wise is phenomenal. Sure, objectively you may reach your peak as a young adult. But is it really that simple? No. Once you start aging you don’t just roll over and succumb to being a worker slave, focus on your kids. Only you get to decide when you’re our of your “prime.” It’s inspiring, seriously. How it shows your life isn’t going to end when you reach 30, you can indulge in niche hobbies. It’s something so simple, but it’s just such a great and rare message.

Scrap that, the entire thematic game is amazing. Strength is being free, age doesn’t limit your passion, you have to do what you don’t want in order to do what you do want. Keeping feelings inside is detrimental, hurting is inevitable. Understand the deeper meanings to everything around you, it’ll expand your world-view. When you’re lost, build something up - humans strive on a sense of purpose.

God, and can I talk about the feel of the series in general? How flowery it is, it’s so shoujou-y, LOL, but it can be so, so gorgeous at times.

Yup? Yup. Exactly.

Chihayafuru is so unbelievably stunning. It’s use of visuals to tell a story is completely top notch, what do i say. Pitch black karuta cards? Snow? Flowers? Barren wastelands, dreamscapes? It’s a beautiful series. So striking visually. And the poems, the poems... how Chihayafuru connects them to situations is superb, a prime example being after Chihaya rejects Taichi, he leaves the club, she breaks down in front of Fukasaku-sensei in the hallway and Chihaya talks about how she was the rock breaking apart all of Taichi’s built up emotions this entire time. It was amazing. And don’t even get me started on some of Kana’s monologues.

The pacing in Chihayafuru is snappy, but it’s so well done. It doesn’t feel lacklustre, but it doesn’t stall. This is thanks to how much development happens during matches - and can i mention quickly how well it develops a multitude of characters simultaneously? Again, how much love is in every nook and cranny of this series.

I’m gonna cut it off here since i don’t know how to include an ‘under the cut’ so i had to torment all 100 of my followers who, frankly, do not care, to scrolling through this utter wall of text.

Overall, i don’t have a preference between taichihaya and chihayarata - if anything, whilst i was first watching i couldn’t help but think about how strongly they were set up as a poly relationship? (Obviously my personal view, but if you were to watch it thinking about them as an ot3 it makes so much sense.)

I gotta say.... my favourite ship is sumire x kana 🥺 i just think they could be something so soft....! Shinobu x chihaya is amazing too, like c’mon... the whole ‘i’ve been dreaming of shinobu-chan’, their blatant, blatant yearning, shinobu never being showed to have interest in anybody apart from chihaya and momo-chan (arata obviously as strictly a rival, sensei has teased or set up nothing romantically between them.) i’d like to say my favourite character is chihaya but i have formed a very? Odd attachment to Rion which came out of... nowhere? LMAO. I adore sumire too. Wow this got long and it very messy and i have so so so much more to say but i simply.... peak fiction.... that’s all...

#chihayafuru #mo’s brainmush #the parts of the story with dementia were super hard for me to watch #that’s the only negative thing ive ever felt whilst consuming this series #simply because its something personal to me!#it woulda been nice if i was just warned beforehand 😭

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jcmorrigan · 5 years

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Fanfic Writer Meme: 8, 19, 30

Aus or canon?

I like canon-compliant things when I like the canon. If I think there’s stuff in the canon that needed fixing, I like fix-fic AUs. I’m not big on “casual” AUs of epic fandoms (e.g. high school, coffee shop, florist, certain brands of soul mate), but that’s just a taste thing.

How do you feel about PWP (porn without a plot)?

Okay! So this actually was a big ol’ story! To catch up those who don’t know - I’m asexual, and pretty sex-repulsed in the traditional sense. (I do have one weird kink, I’m one of THOSE aces, but a lot of people have weird kinks. I’m only disclosing in case this comes up later and people are like “BUT I THOUGHT YOU WERE - “.) But I didn’t figure this out until literally after I graduated college because the resources on what asexuality is weren’t really available to me. I thought if you were ace, that meant you had to be aro, and I definitely wasn’t aro. I thought I was just unreasonably scared of sex and I would have to “get over it” someday (...yeah, not happy times, and probably a good thing I didn’t ever go on enough dates to warrant anyone discussing bases). ANYWAY. So I got into Internet fandom at the tender age of...18. But I acted like a 15-year-old brat. Autism ahoy! Anyway, I kind of just jumped into the deep end and what do I find? PORN. ESPECIALLY MLM PORN, AND I HAVE BEEN RAISED IN A WHITE SUBURB WHERE LGBTQ+ ISSUES JUST WEREN’T TALKED ABOUT. I had heard the “teen sex is bad” narrative enough to take it to heart, and I thought that by remaining a virgin, I was holding a moral point over others. Look at me! I’m a good girl who doesn’t have sex! No, honey...sweetie...past me...there was a very definite reason you didn’t have sex as a teen and it wasn’t moral. You’re probably wondering how this ties into PWP. Well, since I had it in my head that sex was this big bad thing that was Not Good, I found all the mlm porn, yaoi included (and, as I’ve mentioned - back in the day, no one really knew how to use the term “yaoi,” so people might call their mlm fic of fluffy hand-holding “yaoi” and then there’s me who looked up the literal definition of the term going “WHY ARE SO MANY PEOPLE WRITING IT?”). Soooooo I kind of...went on a crusade to reject all the sexual content. I was just mega grossed out. I couldn’t handle it. And I thought it was something moral, something in which I was taking a high road. The crossing of the erotic content with the queer content actually contributed to that phase where I was...kinda homophobic, not gonna lie. I shudder when I look back. Anyway, the longer I spend in fandom, the more I get whittled down bit by bit - maaaaaaybe it’s not such a bad thing for people to like to write about sex, but that doesn’t mean I have to read it because still ew. But at least I get way more comfortable with queer ships and realize their importance for representation! Fast forward waaaaay into the future, when my friend is explaining to me over dinner at a Noodles & Company what asexuality REALLY means and sex-repulsion, and IT ALL. FUCKING. CLICKS. So, okay, I now realize that PWP exists because it turns some people on, but I don’t like it because I don’t like looking at crotches, even in my mind’s eye! We’re making progress now! Actually, realizing how much of my sex-negativity was tied to my own asexuality and repulsion was a huge gateway for me becoming more sex-positive and supporting others’ decisions in that realm. You do you (and your partner/s, so long as there’s consent all around)! But NOW we’re in the phase where I’m well aware of why I don’t like PWP and still the fact remains that SO MUCH fic is PWP and I’m trying to just find something please that isn’t PWP in some of my niche fandoms. (Also I may be bitter about some old PWP fanfics that got famous in my old fandoms, not gonna name names ‘cause that’s rude, but, like, people saw me get pissy about porn and still rec’d me those fics unironically, up to and including NON-CON which is my least fave kink, and I’m still mad about that whole situation. Guys come on. I can’t be the only one out of all of you that was confused on sex repulsion.) So I’m scrolling through things going “Nope, nope, nope, porn, porn, porn, not my thing, not my thing, WHERE’S THE CONTENT I WANT?”. Which is really my fault for shipping rarepairs and getting into niche fandoms. Go me. BUT THEN. ENTER NETFLIX ASOUE. I get really into shipping Fernald/Henchperson of Indeterminate Gender, which...I’m sorry to say I don’t actually like anymore (THANKS, SEASON 3). But here’s where I’m going to start naming names because these ARE good fics (though, I warn you, these ARE E-rated and M-rated, so proceed at own risk). I wrote Amorous Accomplices ch. 1, starting on Tumblr and transplanting it to AO3. After that, I go on a search for the same ship, and there are a few fics out there (actually mostly inspired by mine now that I look back...I’m glad to have lent you the inspo!). I read through all of them...except the ONE that’s pretty much PWP. And then I’m out of fics. And I want more content. So, on a lark, I decide to read The Morose Motel by knockoutmouse. AND...IT’S ACTUALLY GREAT. It actually only gets to the sex several chapters in and builds up with relationship fluff beforehand, and that was probably the best way to intro me to it. I realized that erotica could be a GREAT place to see ships I liked in a new and incredibly intimate setting! Also, while I still don’t like seeing lewd fanart or nudes, I realized that just text-based stuff wasn’t so gross to me anymore - in my head, I had control over how much you could see, and if I did picture things explicitly, I still held the reins. So basically, knockoutmouse got me into reading smut. After that...I don’t necessarily like reading it for any old character combo, as it doesn’t have the *ahem* effect on me that it does other people. But I do really like reading it for ships I DO like to see how their dynamic works in the bedroom. I’ve read some really good ones for IsaLea and for animated!Jafar x Captain Hook Onceuponatime (TRUST ME IT’S A GOOD SHIP). So, if you make PWP of one of my ultra OTPs, I’ll be there! Otherwise, well, again, you do you and I’ll just find other things to read. Now, that was a long story and time you wasted when you could’ve been reading a PWP.

Favorite fic writers?

I’m glad you asked me this, because I answered it once before. And I stand by the two I said: @gavillain (one of my best buddies and a truly AMAZING writer) and Beastrage (one of the best names in the Kingdom Hearts fix-fic industry). But last time I was asked, I somehow FORGOT @imagitory, master of the LONG EPIC ensemble-cast fic. Hoooopefully I haven’t left anyone out this time? (Feel free to come banging on my door if you’re reading this and are one of the faves I forgot.)

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mamahanu · 4 years

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ooh director’s cut for omertà please!!

Hi there, Anon!

Omertà is so massive, I’m honestly not sure how to answer this... if you want to come back and give me a specific chapter or scene, please feel free. For this one, I’ll give the inspiration for the fic, and give a commentary on my favorite scene. :-)

What inspired this story is so weird, I’m not sure it would make sense tbh. I was scrolling through AO3, and I saw a summary of someone else’s fic. The summary said something about a letter Peter had written for May that he hoped she got as he was on his way to the Kingpin. I read that, and I immediately thought that it was a mafia!Peter fic, so I clicked in. Then I learned very quickly that it had a lot to do with the Spider-Man game that came out for PS4. I didn’t know I wanted it, but that misunderstanding made me want to find a fic where Peter was working for the Kingpin. And I searched. I searched, I tell you. Nonny, it was rough. And I eventually found out that I really, really couldn’t find it.

Seriously, if anyone knows another fic like mine, please share it with me. I’d love to read it!

At any rate, when I figured that I wouldn’t be able to find it, I decided to write it myself. It was honestly something I put together to keep me entertained. The fact that it has as many kudos and comments and bookmarks and everything it does blows me away, because it’s such a niche thing.

My favorite scene is the first one I outlined and wrote (it may be the second one I wrote... I can’t remember anymore LOL). Chapter 7 has the scene where the Kingpin beats Peter up. I remember visualizing it and I couldn’t get it out of my head, so I wrote it down. Originally, I wrote this scene with an angry, disbelieving, disenchanted Peter who had actually just sent a pedophile to lockup instead of a human trafficker. Wesley was trying to convince him that he couldn’t do things like that behind Fisk’s back, and Peter just wasn’t having it. He was hurt and giving all this attitude, and basically said, “what are you gonna do?” and Fisk did. I like the alternative much better, where he was too hurt and the knowledge that Fisk was a bad guy was not so much a slow loss of faith in his boss and more of a dawning realization. It helped me create a sequence where Peter could be beaten up by Fisk, because even though he’s strong, he’s no match for Spider-Man when he’s in top shape. A shocked, hurt, tired Peter Parker is much easier to whump on for a baddie like Fisk, and Fisk is smart enough to know when he can make that kind of move.

Hope that was satisfactory! Thanks for the ask!

#asks #fanfics #hanuko writes #omertà

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the-evisceration-station · 4 years

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I’m so exited for the next piece of for you above all, I love loveee your dead doves and angsty stuff bc you do subjects that most people won’t touch ( and you don’t even do it cringly Lmao ) but you rarely write soft and happy addybeth so I’m very excited for the next part, also I really love that series as a whole ❤️ I think you’re the only addybeth writer left standing and it’s so good to see you keep writing for them and talk about them here and even take prompts, I appreciate it so much 🥺

Hey, dude! Thank you so much! I know it’s taking me a long time to finish the for you, above all pieces, but like...the soft stuff just honestly doesn’t come to me as easy? I spend a lot more time messing with my softer pieces, scrutinizing and rearranging, and deleting shit cause it looks bad to me.

I definitely have more experience writing the nasty shit other people don’t want to touch, like damn. Most of my early fandom days were in horror fandoms, horror threads, stuff that has more gore and dark content in canon so I’ve spent a lot more time developing my dead dove craft than anything else tbh. These days I’ve been branching out for a lil bit now, and oh shit I’m rambling, what was my point? Oh, oh, it’s that I find softer/romantic pieces more challenging so it’s another reason the updates on those tend to be more spaced out.

Also because half the time in a canon part of whatever story, something bad happens. Cause something bad always happens, right?

And see, this is the part where lotta folks go, “how can I make this better?”

But it’s the part where I go, “how can I make this even worse?”

Nonetheless, I do greatly enjoy exploring the potential of Addy and Beth to have a healthy relationship!! I think that potential does exist for them in canon, but because of the events that unfold and their failure to resolve the issues between them before those events, that possibility is never realized. Their relationship is so fascinating to me because it’s so deep, so layered, so embedded into them. Addy and Beth can bring out the worst in each other and they can also bring out the best in each other. These things are not mutually exclusive. Canon plays out the way it does, I’d say Addy is almost unintentionally Beth’s ending and Beth is very intentionally what Addy believes is her beginning. It’s not happy or pleasant, but it is powerful. But I love both of these characters and no matter how canon actually is, I adore the idea of them being happy together. In another world, at another time, or under different circumstances, I think they could have that, and I like the idea of giving them that. It’s why I started that collection!

I am not the only writer left standing though! I refuse to believe it, I’m positive of it! I’ve even seen other writers talking about working on Baddy fics, or planning Baddy fics, and what have you. I think it maybe just feels like I’m the only one, because I tend to post one-shots as opposed to longer pieces. So the pieces that a different author might post might be like, like 20k or something. While the average lengths of one of my fics is probably like 4-5k. So when I’m whipping out four or five shorter fics a month, it’ll amount to another fic that someone else might be working on that’s like one longer story.

Does that make sense? It probably takes the other person more time since they like, are writing a longer thing. Wow. I could’ve just said that and been done with it. Why do I make things more complicated than they have to be? Why do I drone on and on about nothing? Well shit, that’s actually the first series I posted on the Ao3 I associate with this account. It’s some Riverdale shit, the first part is like 3k of pure torture porn and then the rest of it is just going on and on about nothing. Absolutely nothing. I wrote 30k of nothing because I was disappointed and spiteful, imagine that. Why am I telling you this?

Because it’s my patten. I am answering your ask the same way, going on and on about absolutely nothing. Is it annoying? Amusing? Somewhere in between? Neither? I have a knack for nothingness. I’m still doing it. I can’t turn it off. Or can I?

I should go up and delete all that, you didn’t ask for any of this, my dear nonny. In my defense, I’m kinda high and I’m not even really answering your ask anymore. I’m just typing out my stream of consciousness at this point but I’m about to scroll up, reread, and regroup here.

Well, just reread. And with that, I am going to thank you again! Your kind words warm my wicked little spade. I’m still accepting prompts too. I obviously take a long time to get to them, and no, I don’t write all of them. I’m honest if there’s one that I’m going to turn down, either because I feel it’s already been done or because it’s not an idea I feel equipped to write or particularly interested in. But that isn’t to say I’m not up for at least hearing out whatever, cause I totes am. I’ve written some weird shit, my dude. I’m up for hearing. Literally. Whatever.

On that note though, have you considered writing, my dear??

Because while I absolutely believe I am far from the only writer left standing in our fandom, it never hurts to have more join the pack! Maybe you should try your hand at it? Realize some obscure but beautiful vision you have for Baddy and share it with the rest of us? Headcanons for RiRi you’d like to explore more in depth since it’s very likely we’ll never have more canon info on her??

I’m not saying you have to write, buddy. I’m not trying to put any pressure on you. Not by any means. Even if I was, you don’t have to listen to me, who the fuck am I? Some internet rando who’s not wearing pants. You’ll allowed to do whatever you want to do with your own free time! I’m just throwing the idea out there, in case you might be interested. I’m always here to encourage you, if you’re feeling it but not sure how to get started, or something. A fandom can never have too many writers, especially not rather niche ones, like ours.

Well dude, sorry for rambling on so and losing track like ten times. Anyway, um, yeah. I appreciate you and I’m gonna keep chugging along here. I’m glad you’re excited, though I can’t promise when I’ll update that collection exactly. It’ll definitely be this month though, at least. My aim is to finish and post three of my Baddy fics this month. And also, rest assured, I’m sure I’m not the only one!

#anonymous #asks #answers #cringe fics #also flattered you think i don't do it cringely #tho that's kinda funny considering my username #and i def have before #albeit 21 yr old me's fanfic is probably objectively less cringe than 12 yr old me's fanfic #which was still dead dove: do not eat #bwahahaha #i was a disturbing fuckin kid wtf #nvm all kids are disturbing #when aren't kids disturbing #never they just are #the ones who seem like they aren't are the most disturbing

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buri-art · 5 years

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If you don't mind me asking, how come you're able to live and work in Japan (and China?)? Where did it al begin? I'm just really curious! Thanks!

I don’t mind, thanks for asking! Turns out I’ve been doing some advising on this topic lately. (Scroll to the bottom for specific advice!)It all began with Digimon…

I’ve always had a history of moving from one obsession to another, starting back with Barney the Dinosaur. Then when I was 11-years-old I found myself very curious about that weird Japanese show on Fox Kids, which looked so different from the Western cartoons I was so fond of. What I caught of it kept me surprised–my stereotypes about it were wrong, the characters and their situations were complicated, and plot had depth? What was this and why did it make me care so much??Well, once I decided I was hooked, I was hooked. Obsessed overnight. I needed to know everything there was to know about it, including the country it came from. Guess I better learn Japanese, I thought.

That thought didn’t go away. I generally got obsessed with anime and Japanese culture, anything I could get my weeby little hands on. Wanting to know everything about Japan led to curiosity about China too, because if you’re going to stretch far back in the origins of Japanese culture, eventually you’re going to get interested in the big collection of nations and time periods known as Ancient China. (Stuff like Fushigi Yuugi and the anime rendition of Condor Hero sure helped drive that interest.)I stayed obsessed with Japan all through my teen years (and started Japanese study in earnest when I was 16) and I chose a college where I could start studying Chinese. It seemed like the natural progression in my studies by that point, but I guess other people thought it was surprising. Or they called me a traitor. (I can tell you now that lots and lots of people wind up studying both.)

Anyway, I went in to college with a pretty wide knowledge of East Asia, but studying it from all sorts of angles, getting good advising in school from nerdy professors, and studying abroad certainly made my understanding more nuanced. Going to a small school where it was easy to stick out also helped me get a good handful of work-study experiences and special attention for my particular passions. (It helps that a couple teachers were enamored with traditional Chinese culture, another loved Heian aesthetics, another wrote a dissertation about the production of shoujo manga, and another loved to give students free food. Now those are my people.)What most people find surprising was that even though I had a heavier course load in Asian studies, my major was Economics. I was concerned about finding work with only nerdy Asian studies, and I felt like I needed to save the world by working at an NGO and sacrificing my personal happiness for the sake of the poor and underprivileged. (I still feel like that, but thankfully there are more ways to support NGOs than only by working in them.) In my research topics I usually had a special focus on developing nations in Asia, and I made sure to get a good understanding of the whole region, not just, like, Edo period gay samurai fanfiction (yeah, that was totally a thing).Well, anyway, I never worked at an NGO. I went to grad school to keep working on my Chinese while keeping up independent Japanese study (including the JLPT), then I worked for the one international company in my hometown doing stuff for their Asian side of business. It was cool if you had any interest in engineering, but I didn’t. I like culture. The weeb shit, as it’s known. All according to keikaku, I became a Coordinator for International Relations on the JET Program (it’s not all English teachers!), and had the time of my life in Matsue (my love for that place is seeeeerious). That’s when I took my wide knowledge of Japan and started getting deeper knowledge, by doing anything and everything, especially practicing naginata, tea ceremony, and competitive kimono dressing. (I like to say I broke the weeb scale a long time ago.) Even among CIRs, who all speak Japanese fairly fluently, I guess I was noteworthy for my nerdy knowledge of obscure pieces of local culture, and my enthusiasm for sharing it. That’s just me being my obsessive self, folks. But yeah, lots of JET Program participants are obsessive and eager to go out and experience things. Aaaahhh, my people. After that, I felt I needed more experience in China, so I got a teaching job (which is relatively easy to do, if you’re a native English speaker). Due to my work schedule and living in Shanghai as opposed to like, Wuyishan or even Hangzhou, I didn’t devote as much as to cultural classes as I originally planned on, but I did practice tea and martial arts throughout my time there, and I continued to work on my Mandarin and gaining obscure cultural knowledge, but especially gaining experience melding with society there. Although it was more overwhelming, I do feel much more competent with my Chinese skills now, and I still love a lot of the culture and have so much more traveling I want to do there. I can still nerd out so hard for so much there.Moving back to Japan felt like a very natural course of things. I know a lot of people who have been happy to be Japan-nerds from a distance, or do the JET Program for a while and then just go back to visit, but at least for now, I don’t see myself happy with only visiting. I have personality flaws, like being very inflexible, that make me work very well in a rigid society like Japan. I’m too used to good convenience stores to live happily without them. I enjoy speaking Japanese all the time instead of taking occasional opportunities. Also, my niche skill set is kind of useless in my part of the US. I did try to find work here, really. That being said, having niche skills means that when I’m useful, I’m super useful. Job searching from outside of Japan was a lot more challenging than applying for the JET Program (which any JET applicant can tell you is not a simple process, but once you’re in, you really appreciate how much they handle for you in matters of moving abroad). It was really, really nerve-wracking to turn down two very good corporate job offers in favor of a somewhat new hotel chain. I really wanted to enter the tourism industry because this feels like the only place (outside of academia) where I can use all my obsessive studies of mainstream and obscure but especially traditional culture, and where my gushing about how much I love stuff is actually useful. Plus, it’ll make use of all three of my languages, not just one or two at a time. I hope this will work out for at least the next few years, if not forever. I also hope that if I live in the US in the future to be closer to family*, then I’ll have enough industry experience to work in hotels here or start a tour company targeted at Asian clients. (*Family is the primary reason I still consider long-term life in America, and it’s a big one, and worrying about them is the hardest part about living abroad. Excessive humidity in a lot of Asia is another reason I might choose to live in the Western US.)But like, now my hobbies are my job. While it won’t be the bulk of it, wearing kimono and performing tea ceremonies is no longer something that makes me cool and special and unexpectedly useful, it’s going to be what I need to be professionally competent in (eeeeeeep). This is the kind of stuff that obsessive teenage Buri would have swooned to know, but also totally expected. Career-Buri is a little more level-headed about it and also very grateful to have these opportunities. So anyway, advice!!—If you think you want to do anything in China or Japan, START STUDYING THE LANGUAGES NOW. Yes, I know they’re difficult. No, there’s no perfect program. Whatever you’re going to use, just do it consistently. Fluency is not actually required for a lot of jobs, but hot damn, some language skills will help. (For reference, I passed N1 of the JLPT before starting JET, and passed HSK5 while I was in grad school. I studied for HSK6 while I was in China and would have had a 50/50 chance of passing, but chose not to because it’s not actually that useful for the price I’d pay for it.)–To get a work visa in either country, 99 times out of a 100, you’re going to need a Bachelor’s degree. Your major is not usually as important as simple proof of graduation. Many places will care about your grades, though, so try to keep them up. –Teaching is still the easiest way to get there. There’s a wealth of programs to recruit you, but I suggest trying to steer clear of places that only provide a stipend instead of a salary, or small dispatch companies with questionable reputations. The JET Program is probably the best way to teach in Japan because of the level of support you get, but I’ve known people who had good experiences on the larger dispatch companies like Altia or Interac as well. For more direct hires, there are English tutoring companies (like English First (EF) or Coco Juku) where you might have students of all ages, as well as companies that focus on very small children (where you’ll basically be a glorified preschool teacher). On that note, many kindergartens and other for-profit education companies (like what I did in China) will hire directly, but your experience can vary widely. Finally, you can also look into international schools, but your teaching credentials will be much more important. Any background in teaching, or TESOL certification, will be a boon to your application (and at some places, your paycheck). –All of these places will want to see that you are a dependable, flexible person. Getting experience abroad, being able to speak frankly about challenges you’ve dealt with, and showing a willingness to go anywhere and do whatever is needed will look really good on your interviews. I say this a JET Program interviewer; the people who displayed the most patience and maturity were the people we felt best about giving a high score to. Those are the people we like to send out into the communities. –As we like to say in the JET Program, every situation is different (ESID for short). That applies to every teaching situation you might yourself in abroad.–You don’t have to be a teacher (after all, I only did JET because of the CIR position, I loved it!!). But you’re going to have to be really competent in whatever else it is you’re doing. Headhunters, such as at Pasona Global (which has branches in many Asian countries), are really, really good to work with, but they are most likely to hook you up with corporate jobs in big cities. If that’s what you want, awesome. (I wound up finding my hotel through a Japanese job searching site specifically for tourism related work. Other industry-specific fields may have their own job hunting sites, possibly in English, possibly not.) Language competency will be a lot more important if you take this route. –If at all possible, STUDY ABROAD!!! Many people will get the experience they want doing this instead of dealing with the frustrations of working and residing abroad. It’s a good way to see how much you love it and decide if the frustrations are worth it. Plus, it really helps your job applications. –Even if you can’t work abroad due to your personal situation, PLEASE TRY TO TRAVEL THERE!!!! When you’re interested in another culture or a foreign language, it means so, sooooo much to be there, even if it’s temporary. I don’t just say this as someone who has chosen tourism as my calling (though I am more than happy to give travel advice), I say this as a passionate nerd. I feel you. I get you. You need this. –Back to studies and stuff though, if you’re going to major in some form of area studies or foreign language, it is difficult to get jobs with that alone. Consider double-majoring in something that will play into that, or which will open other career options. Money is kind of important, especially if you’re going to have to pay for flights across the Pacific.

–That being said, study what you care about too. You know how oddly useful my elective class about Non-Western Theater has been!?!? And if something in anime catches your attention, for goodness sake, you’re on THE INTERNET. If you liked Jubei-chan, go study samurai, if you like Fruits Basket, go learn to make onigiri, if you like Mob Psycho 100, then go—well—um—go work out, being physically healthy is also important!!

Well, anyway, that’s long enough. Good luck to all you nerds out there!! KEN TANAKA LOVES YOU and all that good stuff!!

#wow this got long #tl:dr #I'm a nerd and that might help you too

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affiloram51525plja-blog · 5 years

Text

affiloblueprint

What Is It?

It is a membership site devised to help you understand affiliate marketing.

Short Review

An honest site, good training, mostly legit info, and they have way more value than most internet marketing products. Plus, their basic membership does not cost anything!

However, when you begin buying their packages, it gets pretty expensive, especially when you buy everything they've to offer. When you conider that the community is not a whole lot active, and support is a very small amount in comparison with alternatives.

Before making a decision, have a look inside their affiliates area and then judge if extremely effective best bet you have for you.

==> Enroll For Your FREE Affilorama Account!

Before You Buy

The very first thing we want to know is how Affilorama is actually structured. It's passed through numerous changes lately, and above current reviews don't reflect these changes.

The website is set using these a rather confusing way, dividing features into different packages, forcing it a little obscure the one that we would like to buy to get going making money. It's possible to try to break it down for you therefore's a little easier to understand.

An everyday (free) membership Affilorama should get you access some training videos, a members forum, and also their blog. These items are updated frequently, and there's a ton of information there. I wrote my original directory for Affilorama in 2014, but as of 2017, it's still active with questions, after, as updates. They are building for your long haul!

affilorama updated post

Update 2018

There was once four packages, raise paid, recurring membership fee. Now there is just a without charge organization, plus two other items you can buy. Is without question basically the "DIY" version, that is definitely $197. This is simply not DIY since you acquire the help of the running and community, but it's not "in serious trouble you", as while using the upgraded versions which is certainly an $997.

affilorama packages available

Affilorama has updated their package offers since I wrote my original review

Affilorama Premium is $67/month and is the same thing that I consider to be the "main feature" with this company. There'may be a 7 day trial for $1. Free membership is available nowadays

Affilotheme the help that people seek a premium WordPress theme used to be intended for $97, but these days is usually to often be available through the Affiloblueprint package.

AffiloBlueprint is $197 for lifetime access that is definitely the step-by-step system for newbies.

Affilojetpack are pre-made niche websites with content included, email swipes, likewise ready-made material. It's $997.

AffiloTools is a one-stop shop to track issues like competitors, rankings, keywords, and a number of other things. It's included along with your free membership.

Pricing Updates 2018

Ok, so what I've figured out is that there is three prices of membership. You join the FREE membership, that steadily the ability to access some features, and is often free. Then there may be the PREMIUM membership, with which has a $1 trial, and it's $67/month after that.

affilorama membership levels and pricing

What I Liked

Though I exist of criticisms of this particular program which I'll discuss below, overall, I believe this can be a legit program. Mark Ling really lays everything out before you join, the fact is that sets him other than 99% for all your serious "gurus" out there. Ling has a superb reputation with the exceptional affilo-stuff has been around since 2005.

Most products in this industry don't last within a year.

The site is member focused, includes a somewhat-active forum, and is constantly changing as time goes on, instead of a static PDF or video series that can stale with time.

I keep in mind the main thing I liked about Affilorama was the way in which lots of the videos were set up, with bulleted overviews, prime quality voice overs, and scripts you may download for each video. I do know loads of they on limited internet connections and video training isn't always essentially the most convenient.

Free Membership

There's greatly present on the free membership. I joined a very long time ago and am still able to use the forum, all the work outs modules, the official blog, and a large array of other things including hour long webinar sessions.

Navigate the lessons dependant upon topic

affilorama website lesson navigation

2. Read The Title Summary of Each Lesson, Organized By Topic

affilorama lesson titles and summaries

3. Watch HD Videos & Read About Each Lesson, Including Step By Step Pictures

affilorama lessons video

Since the original writing of this review, I like the way this script has restructured. Without having the $67 per 30 days membership, you possibly can concentrate on absorbing what they have to offer for free. That gives you the right amount of time to consider upgrading on top of AffiloBlueprint or AffiloJetpack.

By granting them you value rapidly, you will see what kind of company they are! And hey, if they supply like this stuff without cost, the paid stuff have to be healthier for 🙂

Get Your Free Affilorama Membership!

Goodies Included In Premium Offers

If you commit to go together with Blueprint or Jetpack you've got 1-year webhosting for 1 website. That's worth at least $100, and maybe more towards the quality despite hosting. You furthermore may explore owing to their "AffiloTheme' Premium Theme. A premium theme could cost between $20 and $100, in order that'is actually a acceptable too!

What I Didn't Like

"Outdated" Sections of Training

Though there is a lot of wonderful trainings in the gratis group, there are plenty real bombs to watch out for. While appearing for information on how to construct an internet site, I only found a bit about using Adobe Dreamweaver and creating content using HTML. Sure, there are a selection of the way for building website, but the easiest and most popular is WordPress. My #1 recommended product (see below for link) permits you to create WordPress website in about 30 seconds.

Considering you'll be able to select from over 10,000 different WordPress themes, including premium ones with fancy features, plus the normal process to customize your company site with different plugins, I did not why you'll use such as dreamweaver. WordPress is flexible, search result friendly, and highly customizable.

Low Member Activity

Right at the top of the list of appeals of going to a membership site just like a is generating help. There definitely here are a couple of active members, and actually moderators to aid with answering questions.

But from what I possibly could see, there didn't appear to be several activity going on.

affilorama forum

There are numerous instances of posts being replied to in three or four hours, however most activity seems to be over other times, even days or weeks old. I used to be on the website one evening and saw that there were only 16 members on!

Even though this is just my personal opinion, the posts I looked at didn't appear to be too insightful or warranting a discussion. In fact, I'm comparing this to my own end result of Wealthy Affiliate, containing plentiful active members, in conjunction with a live chat scrolling 24/7 a place that you may consider and carry instant answers.

Affilorama has the suitable idea yield members forum, but it only is devoid of numerous active members to get this to a great feature.

That's A Bad Idea #1: Copied Content

An enormous fear the workout that you will see discussed on other reviews of Affilorama is the use of PLR content and backlinking strategies.

Because it feels like an "easy way" that creates an online business, many people preclude stuff of making helpful, interesting content unfortunetly copy it from multiple places. True, there are actually legit ways to repeat content, and they rarely spark a legitimate, long-term business.

Aided by the ways is PLR content. It is a symbol of Private Label Rights and permits you to take content is due to a source tagged PLR, change it of any kind for your information fit, then do it in the own.

The concerns with that is multifaceted. One, everyone permission to access the same content. Two, this product is often written in a really generalized way that is neither interesting nor okay for the reader. Three, because it's not completely unique content, it's very hard to rank.

Many people say which you can "tweak" letting it to cause it to unique and pass Copyscape. My question to the child is, when you're a reader, are you able to detect when someone is BS-ing you online? Do you like along with generalized content or highly specific and insightful content?

Not surprisingly, if you need to spend enough time to research and re-write this stuff so they are unique, interesting, and helpful, you better yet not use PLR or merely write 100% original content.

In our own way to copy content is curation. By curating, you are taking other author's work (that allow you to achieve this), and offering a linkage to the unique source. Normally, mingle an "authority" on a topic by collecting legitimate information on that topic.

However, if you copy achieve article, there may be there's no chance that you're going to get ranked in Google for that content. No rank means no traffic. In the event you copy just a good bit and write your personal commentary for this (as curation must be), you will want to write down user generated content!

The Affilorama training helps it to be sound like that is simple to do and will sustain job as a web-based marketer less difficult. That's removed from the truth. Using content in this manner adds a new level of difficultly versus just writing the damn thing yourself.

That's A Bad Idea #2: Backlinking

Internet marketers can talk before cows arrive home about backlinking strategies but after all, Google explicitly says that artificial link-building is against their TOS and it'll end up at trouble.

Gurus went on and on about the benefits of Private Blog Networks. Countless products were released, revealing the ranking revolution, and the way it was easy attending to the #1 spot with PBNs…until that they will deindexed and anyone that used them was penalized. They've since recovered in popularity, but who knows when the following Google update will kill your PBN.

google deindex backlinks

I actually have personally grown One More Cup of Coffee to five,000 visits per 24 hrs with out a single backlink, so I actually have my own proof that links are not needed to experience a traffic generating website falsified income. It only takes longer, additionally it may also lasts longer too.

And by the age of the training on backlinks in Affilorama, I wouldn't trust it for our particular own website, and may't recommend it for yours!

Extra Fees

Considering what you'll discover, the worth swapped the varied packages you in finding will not be too crazy. However, there are certain considerations!

For only one, you must pay an autoresponder fee in addition to whatever it is that you buy, who can cost $20+ per month. Then, your hosting may not free after for a year of membership. Also, there is some confusion about "Affilorama Premium" and "AffiloTools".

Premium it happens to not be available on the company website, but it surely's listed as an extra feature, specifically that you get a 1-month free trial. The first price for premium was $67, so can we expect a $67 upsell most of us join Blueprint?

Regarding AffiloTools, it clearly says hence it's free for Affilorama Members, that being said we're told that we all experience a no charge study to be a part of Blueprint. So which can be it?

affilo bonus 2

affilo bonus 1

Affilorama Free VS Premium Updated for 2018

It's been quite a while since I wrote my initial review. I wrote this making a return to 2014, togerher with its now December 2018. Affilorama remains to be alive, so they collect new members and perpetuate improving a company. Personally, I are unable to find much activity this review, so I'll just turn the job over as-can possibly be now. I've updated the pricing info, and made an effort of the costless association simply by Winter 2018.

However, if I get sufficient comments within the comment section aiming a review the newer Premium membership in Affilorama, I'll join and test it out. Contribute to the discussion and let me know if you would like me to do this!

Last Note

I in fact wasn't delightful to have email offers from Mark Ling, cross promoting services and products from folks that I would consider scam artists. I've done a lot of reviews for my website, and am aware that lots of the "gurus" hang around the other and run promotions for some another. That's fine. It's how business is done online, and You'll be able to unsubscribe very easily.

Specially me, I used to be just disappointed to find out that the finished products owner was promoting a person who I personally find terrible. This method person often charges thousand of dollars for mentorships and exclusive programs. You familiar with ones - "Join cost-free webinar", after which they try to sell you a $10,000 mentorship package.

Final Review

Affilorama has an incredible no charge registration, and appropriately priced premium offers. They've a helpful community, and a quality product that I am able to proudly recommend.

Thumbs Up

==> Sign Up For Affilorama Here

However, they aren't my #1 recommendation!

Wealthy Affiliate vs Affilorama

Features Wealthy Affiliate Affilorama

Will it be easy to get help?

Private coaching available?

Are you able to Contact the Owners?

Is in fact a live chat?

Is known to be step-by-step training?

Are free websites included?

Is hosting included?

Are you able to try for free?

Definitely is a keyword-research tool?

Exists an affiliate program?

Do I recommend this? Yes No

My Overall Rating 10/10 7/10

Comparing Wealthy Affiliate To Affilorama

I can write a whole in-depth review comparing Wealthy Affiliate to Affilorama, but I'd love to fully things below on why WA remains my #1 recommendation after all these years

They update the workout frequently to bring to attention changes in online marketing, Google, and online marketing

We have no major upsells. The membership costs $49/month. END. OF. STORY

Hosting is offered in your membership price, for the life span whatever the membership

They offer cheap domains. $15 per year (no upsells), including FREE privacy, including FREE SSL

Live chat help for instant support, plus forum support for "slow cooked" answers.

Proprietary website boosting technology

SiteSpeed means no need for installing a caching plugin to purchase one site run fast

SiteComments for starting engagement in the comment small portion your company site

Spam filter without a desire for a plugin (fewer plugins means faster website)

Free weekly webinars on lots of topics (e_mail business, AMP, star ratings, SEO, etc)

Peer Review & Feedback: Get feedback on your service so aren't within the a "newbie bubble"

There are tons more things you can examine inside ourselves full Wealthy Affiliate Review. It's really ridiculous what they offer regarding the flat membership fee, and you cannot find another service has had an opportunity to come back even close.

But what would you say? Have you been connected to both websites? How you imagine they quite a lot of or similar? What sort do you prefer?

Oh, allow's do remember that this kind of page was purported to be an overview of Affilorama, not an evaluation to Wealthy Affiliate.

What on earth of Affilorama?

Various join? Why? Or at least…Why?

Should you tried Jetpack or Blueprint, what did you think that?

I'm really curious to look at what your opinions available the comment section! affiloblueprint

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femnet · 5 years

Photo

Next year, I want to leave the Caribbean country where I am living to enroll in a university in the United Kingdom. I want to start my life as an adult, and kick off my future in the best direction. Sounds nice, doesn’t it? Except I can’t get there by just snapping my fingers.

I turned eighteen years old a couple of months ago, so I am now legally entitled to my own actions. Well, let’s make the best out of that.

As a twelfth grade student, mature and conscious that my path will be my own, I have jotted down a list of new school-year resolutions that will help me reaching my goals by next September.

1- Study, study, study!

Disclaimer: I am allergic to extremes. This is not about locking oneself in a dusty monastery and bury under a mountain of books. Balance is the key.

Yes, this is the tea. I was used to hearing people say that I should “enjoy my time as a youngster, you’ll have time for working later.” However, ladies and gents, here is the truth *drums roll* PROCRASTINATING ISN’T ENJOYING. How are you going to secure yourself a bright future if you don’t build the basis for one as early as possible?

One of my friends, who studies psychology and philosophy, surprised me by saying that you have until the age of twenty-two to create proactive habits. Later, it’s harder (but not impossible!) to develop new neural connections, so teenagers should give their best at learning.

Also, who said that scrolling down our Instagram feed is better for our health than studying? Honestly, if we make the latter become fun, we will be able to harvest much sweeter fruits.

2- Collect money

Not talking about Monopoly bills nor videogame coins: get a job! Even the little ones are worth it. Why?

First of all, we’ll have to have a job at some point. The earlier we learn about the professional world (think taxes system, work relationships, money handling), the easier it will be to grow in our niche after studies.

Secondly, what college student is happy to be broke? *Buzzer* NonE! (Hint → that’s the right answer.)

Earning cash (and not spending it on clothes or candies) before living on our own allows us to build a soft reserve that will cushion our needs later! The money I am making as a journalist and translator will go towards clothes and food when I move to the UK. It’ll be something less to worry about once I’m far from my family!

3- Eat culture: educate myself

This goes hand in hand with the first resolution, except we’re not talking about actual subject studies.

I spent this summer surrounded by only adults. What happened? Big conversations happened! The belief that teenagers have today of handling serious dialogues is true to a certain extent. We like to be very idealist, and would love to make the world a better place, but tend to be only one-sighted. Most adults who have been around for longer than we have take another approach to everyday news. Once in the grown-ups’ world, it will be crucial to keep update on the actuality and explore a palette of perspectives and knowledge. It is better to know something about everything rather than everything about something (and then be the ignorant of the group when our favorite topic is dropped).

4- Get started on the diet TODAY

Disclaimer: I am not necessarily talking of a diet to lose weight. Think healthy diet, or student diet (best quality-quantity-price relationship). Also, the diet is an example. Think about all the things that you should do today, but always find an excuse not to.

*Underlines, highlights, circles the last word of the subtitle.*

“Yes, I’ll get started on the diet tomorrow,” she said, every day, for the past two years.

Long story short, tomorrow never arrives, every day is today, so let’s get started right now and be done with the wistful sighing.

I have adopted a gluten and sugar-free nutrition since some months now. While it was hard to say no to pasta, pizza and chocolate at first (the Italian in me was tortured), I found out after a couple of weeks that I didn’t even feel the yearning for those products. It’s all about getting used to a certain habit, and keeping a strong mind about the decision in the first days.

5- Get up from that chair and move

Most students’ big problem: we stay sat for too long.

Among other ultra-valid reasons that should encourage us to move more, let’s talk about the relationship of physical activity and studying. It has been demonstrated that movement helps the blood--which carries oxygen and nutrients--reaching the brain much more easily. I made my own little experience to prove this.

Using Khan Academy, I passed two SAT exams within a week. I made sure to go to bed at the same time the day before, and to eat the same breakfast in the morning, so the conditions would be very similar. I passed the first exam exactly as if it were a real one, respecting the times of pause and not getting up from my chair between sections. Without studying any more, I passed the second exam a few days later, except I got up and walked a bit between each sections. Not only did I feel much more concentrated during the second exam than the first one, but I also improved my results by 60 points!

6- Yoga is a daily thing

Meditation, respiration, balance… Yoga combines all of these and thus joins sport and relaxation for both the body and the mind. It helps regulating the flow of hormones, the blood circulation, the digestive system, etc. I am not inventing anything.

Introducing yoga in my daily schedule has been a helpful step towards becoming more of an adult. I know that I will be able to cope with new steps and stresses because I have my own self by my side. Quite the change from the self-deprecative marathons so popular among teens.

7- Stand my ground, but accept genuine critics and advice

As a child, I used to get rebuffed a lot by my parents and brother, and I have grown up convinced that whatever I said was silly and others were always more right. I became taciturn, and repressed my own thinking a lot. Now, I have understood (thanks to some time spent with different people) that I am more than capable of saying smart stuff too! I am conscious that what I say is valid and that my opinion has to be respected, so I do not have to change my mind and adjust to others. When I don’t agree, I say it. When I want something, and feel like I deserve it, I claim it. And this is just right.

However, I make sure not to cross the border: I accept critics and advice when they are helpful. I make sure to complete the information I get, compare it with other opinions. We have to remember that some people know more than us about certain things, and this is just right too.

8- Pick up my blogs from the ashes and build a temple from the rubble

You can tell that I love drama. This point for me is about blogs, but consider hobbies in general.

Because a healthy person has an open mind, having different occupations is strongly advised--most of all if those occupations help us polishing our values and qualities.

What I mean from “picking up my blogs from the ashes” is that I need to start working on them again, counting it as one more necessary periodical activity. I am too quickly excited by ideas, and then burn the eagerness too soon. This aspect of personality is not a great asset for someone who wants to study marketing and communication during four years.

By “build a temple from the rubble,” I mean that I have to make something useful out of what I have created. Not only will blogs look nicely on my curriculum and personal statement, but they could be a way to earn some exposure and a little money. Making the most of what we have is the first step towards success.

In case you’d like to see what my blogs are about, here are the links: x x

9- Take care of my appearance

Taking care of one’s appearance isn’t only a way to demonstrate people around us that we value them and consider them worthy of seeing the best of us, it is also a self-compliment that leads to a healthy relationship with ourselves. Taking the time for facial masks or choosing clean outfits will do as much for our outside than our inside. We are our own best friend, let’s treat us accordingly.

#student #resolutions #life #real life #new life #healthy life #September 2018 #by alice 2

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