#this one in particular hurts my heart
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ransom followed by doubles takes me by the brain and smashes me against the wall repeatedly
like these lyrics for example:
what’s the point in waiting? waiting for someone to break your heart
vs
and I will wait down the line for you, and I will tell no lies I’ll stand alone waiting on for you
#miles kane#one man band#i love a good bit of juxtaposition#this one in particular hurts my heart#he seems like the type of person to love unconditionally even though he’s scared (scared of love) and insecure#regardless of the other person’s feelings#his inner conflict comes across especially in these songs#he knows what may eventually happen but he loves too hard for it to be able to convince him that he matters the most#and then he ends up heartbroken anyway#caught in a vicious spiral of heartache#and that could be why he’s ‘scared of love’ because he’s aware that he loves deeply and eventually that’s the thing that hurts him the most#🥲#ramblings
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Actually genuinely started crying when Luffy almost said he wanted Usopp off the ship and then Sanji interrupted and yelled at him. What the hell. This shit is so sad what the FUCK bro
#In TEARS rn. Esp bc they’re really driving it in hard how MUCH the entire crew cares about Usopp#Even Sanji and Zoro who aren’t overly affectionate with him#My heart is BREAKING my kokoro is brokoro!! THAT SHIT HURTED!!!!#When Luffy and Usopp started arguing that’s when the waterworks started. I was sitting there like 🥺😭 my sweet darling boys pls don’t fight#The boys are fighting 😔#Also it’s understandable why Usopp’s in denial and doesn’t want to let the Merry go but it’s also SO frustrating#Bc he’s clearly making it out to be that Luffy doesn’t care about the Merry#When in fact Luffy was probably the MOST upset at having to let her go#And he fucking AGONIZED over the decision to get a new ship#It’s a burden as the captain and he accepted everything that came with it#But Usopp just. Doesn’t get that. Bc he’s got too much of his own personal shit going on#And Luffy is upset that Usopp would even think he didn’t take the time and consideration to think over what to do with the Merry……#ZERO trust there. Usopp’s majorly disrespecting Luffy. I bet Zoro in particular is Not happy about that#God this arc is written so well. I’m so upset. I’m SO upset#Lies down#One Piece#Shima speaks
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😭 I get really stupid when I have a crush on someone!! The things I would do to get their attention
#melifails#AND ONLY FOR IT TO BACKFIRE#I helped him get with another girl after he rejected me#I put my head on another guys shoulder once and he freaked out and never sat or talked to me again#🥺 that one in particular hurt cause he was very friendly but I guess I was very off putting and I just kept to myself after that#he was also the one I’d post photos for on Snapchat 😭 I tried to be cute and pretty#he had a crush on another friend of mine too so 🫠#also I was NOT good enough for him he was out of my league#😭 with another crush I thought YES singing will win his heart!#and so I made a point of singing softly and he told me to shut up#but I was NEVER as stupid as I was for the first guy
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rewatched arrival for the hundredth time. this movie never fails to gut punch me with its approach to determinism. louise embracing her future that she knows every moment of, despite the tremendous loss and pain it contains, with open arms. she doesn't hesitate, or ruminate on how she can try and change it. she accepts it all, the good and the bad, because what she gains is worth it, so many times over for her. she steels herself against a certain future and runs forward to meet it all, to love, learn, and lose, and trusts and leans on herself to live through it all. because that's what life is; it's the joy and the suffering. to try and isolate the joy alone is madness, futility in its purest definition.
comparing her line of thinking to a palindrome (how she named her daughter, hannah), the movie kept emphasizing, "it's the same backwards as it is forwards." it doesn't matter if you can see the end; life is the same whether you live it "forwards" (without knowledge of the future) or "backwards" (with foresight). it doesn't change the significance of your life experiences; to try and avoid certain future pain just because you have the knowledge of it is a zero sum game. you think you win because you avoided pain, but you also avoided the joy that preceded it. the metamorphosis. so you still lose if you try to win, and vice-versa.
all you can do is rush forward and take it all head-on. see this whole beautiful mess as your one most precious gift; this one life, this one chance, a laughably miniature blip on the colossus that is linear time, to experience all there is to feel before you return back to an eternity without perception. it's all worth it, because only in living a full-fledged life open to everything it has to offer does the experience of living turn out to be greater than the sum of its parts; it's in trying to beat the system (avoid pain) that we actually lose.
"if you could see your whole life from start to finish, would you change things?"
"maybe i'd say what i feel more often. i...i don't know."
#arrival 2016#pleaaaaase this movie has a chokehold on me#the perfect sci-fi imo is one that blends the scientific and the emotional realms seamlessly and wow does this do that#this particular movie speaks so personally to me#because i lived so much of my life in stagnation trying to avoid pain i could see on the horizon#a couple of years ago when beginning my last relationship i could see the end as early as 3 months in#you know when you just realize early on there are cracks in the relationship foundation that are not repairable and will only get stressed#the more you build on top of it? yeah#it terrified me like you couldn't believe and i spent so much time in denial and fighting against it#fighting against this future i was intuitively certain would materialize#i watched this movie around that time and decided to just go for it#to not let my intuition rob me of joy in the present#as someone who lived so prudently and always tried to make the “right” choice this was monumental for me and so out of character#for a while i wished i'd just listened to my instincts about how this person would ultimately hurt me so i could avoid the suffering#because i really did have foresight everything i was scared would happen did happen almost to the letter#and i wondered does that make me stupid?#that i marched forward anyway? i didn't have the degree of certainty louise did so i thought i could change things#if i loved hard enough if i was patient enough if i did what i knew in my heart to be the right thing#but it changed nothing#but no i wasn't stupid and i would do it again#because it was still a beautiful experience at its best and it taught me valuable lessons at its worst#i have undoubtedly changed as a person i will never be the same again and THAT is living#not rotting away in an unchanging state. unchanged by joy or mundanity or by adversity. that is not living#undoubtedly better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. i never rly agreed with that until i saw this movie#personal#favourite movies#scifi#movies#this applies to everything not just love. take that chance! do the thing that scares you. bc that's the only way to really live#regardless out of the outcome
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btw the education system for disabled, neurodivergent and mentally ill students in england is so sub-par it makes me want to scream and cry every single day at work
#i'm trying my best but i can only be in one place at once#dear god we desperately need funding. and reforms. and more specialised schools.#i'm trying not to form attachments to students so it hurts less when the system fails them#but a particular group of girls have a place in my heart and i'm trying to protect them as best i can#and make the miserable miserable miserable experience they're having in education just a little bit brighter#it's so difficult. so so so difficult.
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Rise of the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers - The Green Ranger
The Power Rangers refuse to accept that killing her is the only way to free Tommy from Rita’s control, determined to find a way to end RIta without risking their friend.
One by one, over several battles with the Dark Green Ranger, the team are able to summon their Dino Zords, all inspired by a comment made by Billy when they first found the Power Coins. Once all five are summoned, they make a last stand, taking down Rita’s Dark Dragonzord with their newly formed Megazord, the Rangers fight on the ground, urging Tommy to fight her, don’t let her win!
Zack cries out, holding her back from the rest of the team, “Tommy! Don’t let her decide who you are! You decide that!”
Jason on her other side adds on, “You’re one of the strongest people I know! Fight her!”
Trini supports, disarming the Dragon Saber from Rita’s grip, “You have to be brave for us! For yourself!”
Billy, staff of the Power Lance pinning the Dark Green Ranger to his stronger teammates, “We’re not giving up on you! It doesn’t make sense for you too either!”
Kimberly rushes into Tommy with all her strength, wrapping her arms around her so tight that no power in the known universe could break her grip, face pressed into Tommy’s chest, “Please, you have to come back to us! You have to come back to me!”
From then on, Tommy officially joins the team as the Green Power Ranger.
#rotmmpr#mmpr#mighty morphin power rangers#power rangers#tommy oliver#green ranger#my art#me: i'm not gonna write out whole summaries with every design#also me: what if i just straight up wrote the team pleading with tommy to break rita's possession hmm-#i see EXACTLY how the scene would play out in my head and it makea me wish i could animate#and god. thinking about kim's ''come back to ME'' in particular hurt me heart i can hear the voice crack and the quiver UGH#each of the rangers lines to tommy in the scene would also have significance to either a future or past arc with her#eg zack saying she decides who she is is bc of a past interaction where he helps her with insecurities surrounding#still engaging with masculine interests as a trans girl by showing her that he still maintains some of his feminine interests#from before he transitioned and that's totally okay! no one else gets to decide what you can and can't do!#trini mentioning bravery ties to tommy helping her come out to her mom later on#stuff like that#...........i need to write out those season summaries lmao#initially i did also try having the purified dragon shield be silver so gold would stay associated with the evil empire but#that didnt look quite as good#anyway i love this design and it looks SO GOOD with the rest of the team especially
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someone talk to me abt Sazume for the love of god auughhhh
#cinematographically speaking I think the worm fully escaping midway through the movie is my fav part#the silence the choral singing the focus on the normal lives of the ppl below who have no idea the looming doom gathering above them#the cosmic horror and dread of the worm when you see its true size#the calm before the storm and etc#the way your heart clenches bc you know exactly what’s going to happen if the worm falls#how many ppl will die and get hurt and loose their loved ones#the grief and anguish in the aftermath#the crying the screaming the ppl who will never be found#and you just get… that peaceful silence combined with the ethereal choral harmony singing of destruction and death#the tension that’s being raised as the golden tethers begin to rise#the cut back to reality and the impending doom that’s about to hit#just… aughh… the sound design and soundtrack and theme and visuals and camera angles work so perfectly#to create this beautiful haunting devestating moment of helplessness#and it’s so excellent. fav moment in the movie by far but not the part that made me cry#the whole movie is so good ngl but that part in particular… mm that’s the good stuff#suzume#anime
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Thinking of Kaveh with Unhinged partners again
#//By that; I mean partners who commit the Violences and deadly Chaoses#//Furthermore; said Violences being done upon other ppl bc that person is a Fighter with a side of bloodlust & destruction#//HIs every opposite in damn near every way#☆ ┆ ( .ooc. );#//So lik#//I watched a Wu of the Wa playthrough#//And I fucken LAUGH#//Now Kav is not so dumb he would be FOOLED into thinking they are innocent#//But like#//Them deffo having an on-off thing bc they still manage to worm their way into his heart time and heckin again#//Him continuing to think 'This is the LAST fucken straw; I CANNOT be with sb like his'#//They proceed to show up wounded to his window and tell him they need a quick lil hand and will be on their merry way#//Read: it takes TWOmins of Kav is grumbling & patching them up before they kiss again & Kav thinks to himself MAYBE they can behave#//Then proceeds to get disappointed again when Cy drops news he's hunting them again for Crimes#//Person is a sweetheart to him; or maybe a mischievous lil menace that pushes his buttons to hell and back; but would Never hurt him#//But he HAS to try and draw a line#//But cannot#//Bro is weak for bad boys; and he is fucken PISSED abt it#//Anyway; imma read some k4vet4ru fics I found#//Bc that's the closest to canon I'll get to this ig dkjgbtfg#//And I don't wanna write a particular ship fic rn#//Mostly bc I am already writing one rn actually#//Bc the thought came to me and it Is a bit of a heavy one#//Bc my brain is just 'Hey; you love this blorbo? Corner him'#//Make the guy feel like a prey animal in what should be the happiest time of his life#//Yup yup#//Or as I like to call it 'Why impromptu weddings are better for K4e than proper engagements; etc'#//But thas an update; anywho#//I think a s/o who is absolutely Sc4r Wu of the Waa levels of unhinged would be funny for Kav#//It would not fix him; prolly make him worse & stressed beyond fucken relief. But it would be funny. TO ME lol
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thinking about how much love I always put out into the world even though everyone is always mean to me
#80% of the love I give to one person in particular but still the other 20% is to everyone and everything else#stop being mean to me it is hurting my heart !!!!!!!#mrow.org
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thinking about daredevil yellow again im not. going to make it Guys.
#static.soundz#crying screaming and hitting the ground. so good. it made me cry really bad#bc whenever i think about jack n matt it always makes me think of me n my dad for various reasons#when matt said i couldnt feel his heartbeat inside me anymore. no words.#i rambled about it on my main but dd is very much intwined in an interesting and special way with my own heavy grief about my dad#and matt was a very important character to me during that time of my life for the exact same reason.#it's why i take a lot of very heavy issue when things try to make it so his dad died in his childhood as opposed to college#bc a) think it takes away a lot of the important nature of their relationship and b) my own personal projection#bc all grief at any stage is highly personal and unique and particular#but it really does feel like. matt is really just starting to become an adult (depending whether he dies when matt's in under or post grad)#(bc i can never remember which) but he's not quite a mega established one. there's still that lingering of childhood#so even though he's grown. it just hurts in a very particular way. they saw you grow up. but they didnt really see you become an adult.#they did not see the person you're going to be. that you are. that you're becoming. it feels like such a bizarre unfair moment in time.#bc why now? why not when i was younger? why not when i was truly an adult adult who is expecting to lose you now?#why at this moment and no other time?#but thinking about matt going i wish i told my dad how much i loved him.#more than anything when he goes 'i love you dad. did you hear? i love you.'#it made me cry like a fucking bitch. honest to god tearing up when i type about it. it wrenches my heart it twists it and it makes me wanna#drop to my knees and just weep and weep and weep. they are everything to me.#i have intertwined a lot of matt's grief with mine in a way that makes him so so so important to me. because as stupid as it fucking sounds#that comic and him as a character are everything to me. so genuinely. they were a lifeline my freshman year#when i was so depressed all i could do was read comics. or listen to music#i could do nothing else. i did. clearly. i did work and assignments. but dd was everything to me alongside dm#im sorry i am being an actual like nutbag in my tags im sorry i just have a lot of feelings. this story is everything to me ever ok? ok.
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save me glastonbury 2013 save me
#my face is hurting from smiling so much after watching the performance#my heart is beating so fast it feel like ive ran a marathon but i feel so ALIVE#this performance is what got me into the band and started my obsession#seeing alex yelling 'LADIESSSSS' and performing 'i bet you look good on the dancefloor' rewired my brain chemistry evermore#and imo it's one of their best performances ever#their energy and the crowd and the setlist was just phenomenal#you could tell they were just having the time of their lives#all the nerves from headlining the first time went out the door and they could just soak it all in and truly enjoy themselves#alex is so goddamn smiley and happy and playful like you can see the joy exuberating from the inside out#and UGH that particular performance of 'a certain romance' brings me to tears every time#the MAGNITUDE of that moment and them playing that song at one of the most iconic festivals in the world is just extremely special to me#goddamn this band#i truly truly couldn't love them more if i tried#they make my heart fly so high#arctic monkeys#glastonbury 2013#mine
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its been literally like two years since i saw that video and i unsubscribed as soon as i saw it. it was one of the most jarring things ive seen a youtuber double down on. usually people at least PRETEND to give a shit about dv/ipv vics. like he took it to twitter and shit too like just absolutely refusing to back down on it and literally mocking people trying to explain or argue the point. like thank you for making it known that all the "wrong" victims are just as bad as their abusers, to you. glad you could at least show yourself the door
#any time i see him pop up even when its about other stuff i remember that video and am just blinded with rage#because i know i talk a LOT about sa on here because theres so much constant discussion on simulated csem here#like its a much more frequent topic#but dv is a topic thats actually incredibly incredibly close to my heart in particular because it was completely inescapable as a child#i think one day if i ever had the money or became like Relevant in any way id like to start a nfp to support survivors#its a topic i am far too familiar with and one of the few things i can actually empathize with others on.#like thats one of the few things that if i can tell youre hurting about it i might actually struggle to keep my composure#txt#dv#domestic violence#ipv#intimate partner violence
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Ok but the one thing I will say I didn't like about the finale was what happened to the Cat. That made me very sad I do not like seeing bad things happen to cats even if they are assholes
#rwby#rwby volume 9 spoilers#like neo getting even after what the cat did to her. i'm cool with that that's fair#however. i do not have the stomach for seeing bad things happen to cats it like hurts my heart in a very particular way#especially too with the further context of how in the end the cat was also a victim of the gods leaving it behind#like the blacksmith said there was no one to heal their heart.....#i am gonna hold out hope tho that the cat will return in some way#i know it got eaten by the jabberwalkers but i am going to believe i am going to have faith!!!!!#i am glad tho that that at least wasn't the last we saw of the cat and we got to see it in the backstory afterwards#that makes it a little less gutwrenching
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due to personal reasons i've decided that i will actually stop looking at any pictures of clean-shaven, shaggy perm josh from this point forward. thank you for respecting my decision in this trying time 🫶🏻
#any picture of josh hurts me because he's so pretty but there's something about that specific josh#and in particular that ONE picture of him in that era#that just breaks my heart because i love him so much#and now since that last post i'm thinking about how much josh has changed and grown from that sweet rosy boy into the man he is now#and uhhhh yeah <3333 ouch <333333#maddie.txt
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Bodies in Motion and at Rest – Thomas Lynch
[TEXT ID: I've listened while well-meaning but ill-informed clergy, nervous in-laws, neighbors and old friends sought to comfort the living by telling them the body in the box was “just a shell.” The operative word in this is just. The effort to minimize the hurt by minimizing the loss, pretending that a dead body has lost its meaning or identity, is another tune we whistle past the graveyard.]
#ONCE AGAIN#'working with cadavers makes it clear what death is. a subject becomes an object. a person becomes a body.#[...] a body is not an ordinary object — can never be an ordinary object. this particular object had once been awake.'#JUST !!! A QUOTE OF ALL TIMES !!!!!#KEEPING IT IN MY HEART AT ALL TIMES BECAUSE!!! YOURE NOT AN OBJECT ! IN LIFE AND DEATH !!! THEN REDUCING THEM DOWN EVEN IF IT'S TO MINIMIZE#THE HURT IS....#JUST !!!!!#hi my mame is ransom (yes really ransom haha i know) and one (1) thing to know about me is i will NEVER be normal about death ever#cryptcites
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ryan my love please come and let me brush your hair behind your ear as i admire your beautiful eyes and smile
#tape entry circa 1980#f/o:💖what a fool believes🎸#my hearts longing for my ryan sm#it hurts i just want to be near him rn#it makes me feel a little bad though when suddenly im longing so so deeply for ONE in particular#i dont want min to feel like im ignoring him :-c#i love him too so so deeply but my mind just wanders to ryan rn#his soft pretty features his soft messy hair his cute sparkly eyes behind those red glasses#i keep thinking of the way his turtleneck and leather jacket hug his body#the way itd feel to run my hands over the clothe the feeling his his body underneath how slim he is#feeling his hands on me and holding his hands in mine#how small and slim they are 🥺💖💖#to be able to kiss the palm of his hand and his fingertips#to hold his hand against my cheek and feeling the coolness of his skin on my face#maybe then he'll hold my face to admire me. in the same way i do him#and we can hold and melt into eachother as we finally kiss eachother for as long as we can until we need to breathe ghfdj#oh my love my ryan...mi amor...#i just need to see and feel him i need to see his bright smile#i know being able to see him smile at me would make me feel alive it would brighten my entire life just to see him smile at me...#just knowing that he loves me...#i miss him... mi principe mi bebe te amo... siempre te voy a amar
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