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notsoverymerry · 5 days

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Boyfriend (j.yh x reader)

summary: You can't believe you're dating Yunho. Others can't either.

genre/warnings: smut, unprotected sex (please use protection!), fluff, use of pet-names a/n: let me know literally anything about this :) word count ~3.6k

You were dating Jeong Yunho; you really were.

You went on dates, held hands, kissed, and said the cheesiest, most sweetest, tooth-rotting things to each other. All the time. And yet, none of the boys had caught up. By some mysterious miracle or rather an ominous curse, guys and the staff have considered you two to be just really good friends. You could've screamed love proclamations at each other from mountaintops, and nobody would take that seriously. His habit of calling you his little bro, or some variation of that, as a pet name did not help in the slightest.

At first, it was funny. Just at the beginning of your relationship, when you intended to keep your fondness away from prying eyes and wanted to enjoy exploring each other in this new, intimate side of things, having people consider you pals was great. You can recall Seonghwa making a few remarks about how cute you would look together, but it was dismissed rather quickly. The first time it happened, you totally saw Yunho's ears go red, him stammering out something about friendships and trust and members making you uncomfortable.

At the end of your third date, you were sure you wanted this man next to you for life. He took you to the aquarium. It was a cliché, but it's something you have always dreamed of. You love animals, love to learn new things, and you think you love Jeong Yunho. He looked dashing in just a pair of blue jeans and a white sweater; your heart definitely skipped a beat when he smiled, hands reaching to greet you in a short embrace. It skipped a beat again when you heard him laugh lightly at some joke you made. And again, when his hand brushed against yours as you walked to your destination. Stepping into a room with tiny fish specimens showcased in various tanks, blue lights now illuminated his frame and those round sparkling eyes. Your heart doesn't seem to work correctly.

Few hours went flying. You took pictures. Half of them when he wasn't paying attention. You told him he looks like the prettiest starfish they have and didn't miss his cheeks darkening with blush even in the dim lights. Not too long had passed before you started to point out funky ones to each other, exclaiming, 'You!' and laughing. After a particularly accurate comparison of you to a dwarf puffer ('Dwarf puffers are aggressive, sensitive, and active' the sign read), he reached and intertwined your fingers, not a single hint of trying to hurt you with that juxtaposition, his eyes full of adoration, a huge smile on his face. You could have just kissed him.

He insisted on ice cream later in the evening. You were just heading out the shop when you bumped into Mingi. Faces red but happy, Yunho's arm hugging you to his side, a small bag of sweet treats in his hand. It took a second for Song Mingi to take the sight in. And another second for him to smile and greet you, to ask how's it going and where you're going to go.

''Oh, my girlfriend and I are just going to relax somewhere in the park nearby.''

You couldn't help the giggle that escaped your lips. Girlfriend. You can definitely get used to being called his girlfriend. And then it happened. Cue Mingi's cluelessness, or the fact that he's just tired from their hectic schedules.

''Man, it's great that you can be so close with each other and aren't afraid someone will mistake you for a couple. If you could act a bit better, maybe you'd even get a discount sometime!'' With that, he was gone.

There was a little tradition your small company liked to keep. Board games.

Every once in a while, when everyone wasn't busy, you'd spend an evening playing, talking, lightly drinking, and overall just relaxing. Adult life could take a really boring turn, the one that only had 'road work ahead, and so should you' sign. Bills, taxes, colleagues being stressed and mean, and yada-yada. Idol life was probably even worse.

There was some catching up due, and this Saturday night seemed just the perfect opportunity. The lot of you chose a game, lo-fi music was put on for background, and the living room area was cleaned so up to ten people could comfortably sit in a circle. Drinks were cold and ready to be handed out.

You took a seat in between your beloved Yuyu and Yeosang, a dear friend of yours who got you in the group. You'd expect him to know your heart of all people. Although when you told him about your new boyfriend, all he did was laugh and say that was a good one.

Bewilderment washed over you in a tidal wave. It showed up on your face, swimming behind your eyes and overflowing in a strangled sound from your lips. And you, Yeosang? With your confused and hurt whimper, the topic was brought to everyone's attention.

''Did you guys know y/n likes Yunho?'' Maybe it was the alcohol, but you heard more laughter.

''Oh? But y/n likes all of us, don't you?''

''Well, yes, but—'' you were not going to finish that sentence. He heard what he wanted.

''See?'' Wooyoung looked so smug; if your brain wasn't so busy being confused, you'd be infuriated. Right now you looked like there was a loading circle turning in your head. Hopefully you won't bluescreen.

''Are you guys pulling my leg?''

''Are you? Seriously, you and Yunho.'' There came a playful nudge to your side.

You wanted to protest, to ask your boyfriend to back you up, but turning to him, you saw his eyes creased by a smile. He shook his head slightly, as if trying to say that it's fine and they will catch up to it eventually. He knew it was going to take them a while. And with his hand lightly caressing your back, your anger dissipated, replaced by a warm feeling inside your chest. Was it always so hot in here?

''Just relax, little pal. I got you.''

A while has passed before you decided to be openly affectionate, at least around those closest to you.

It was a day off for the both of you. You planned on going out, but upon seeing your boyfriend's tired eyes, you opted to offer a quiet night in. Weather seemed to agree with that, given that it started raining against the broadcast's best predictions.

You were met with Hongjoong, who opened the door and let you in. When you entered their living room, you saw Yunho, still in sweatpants and a big shirt, holding a steaming mug.

''Hey.'' He said, ''Isn't it my favorite little dude!''

''Hello, honey.''

The warmth in your voices could melt the arctic icebergs. You took a few moments just to look at each other, gentle smiles tugging at the corners of your mouths.

''Oh, hey, bro! I'm also in the room, where's my sweet greeting?''

It was San, a pout already present on his sleepy face.

''You'd get it when you have a girlfriend.''

The day was spent in the comfort of their couch, with soft cushions and comforters draped around. None of you cared for the cancelled plans, not really, when all you ever wanted was to be in each other's presence. That was enough. Several movies were watched, hot tea keeping the cozy atmosphere company. You were cuddled with Yunho, feeling warm and giddy. That's when Seonghwa made another comment about how cute the two of you were.

''But I don't want to make you uncomfortable, y/n. Don't take this close to heart. We know there's nothing romantic going on.''

It was as though they were doing it on purpose.

''It's okay, Seonghwa; we are together. Like, I love him and all that.''

Your voice was steady, your face was serious, and yet…

''Of course you are,'' San almost scoffed. ''But that behavior is exactly why you can't get a date these days. People see Yunho and don't dare approach you.''

A light chuckle could be heard from the room; Yunho also couldn't contain his. The more blunt you were at stating your relationship status, the more oblivious band members became.

''Little broski is saying she doesn't need a date. She has me. Right, darling?''

Yunho was being honest. You nod at him, darting your eyes back at your friends in hopes of seeing the realization there. Yet, his playful tone and charming smile did nothing to convince the others. It's not like you've been actively trying to make them believe you were an item. Though now it seemed to irritate you a bit. Was it really that hard to imagine you and Jeong Yunho together? Were you not good enough in their eyes? Or was it his habit of calling you bro? You never knew.

''Why is it so hard for you to believe we're dating, though?''

You voiced your thoughts, needing to know the answer now.

''Y/n, love… You'd date a reputable scam artist before Yunho; we know that much. You'd probably even date Hongjoong first if-''

''I can hear that!''

That was the captain's answer from the kitchen.

''A reputable scam artist?''

That was your confused reply. What does that even mean?

''And what is so wrong with dating me? I'm handsome, I'm charming, and so, so funny! A real treat. I could also be a scam artist if I really wanted to.''

A strangled sound tore from your chest.

''See? That's a laugh.''

There was another. He was not at all interested in proving them wrong.

You couldn't believe your luck when you showed up at the dorms a week later and no one was there.

Yunho had called you, asking you to come in, some mischevous spark laced in his tone. It turns out, the boys had work, and those who didn't decided on spending the day outside. There was undoubtedly a need for shopping for essential items, as well as just a bit of fresh air and relaxation for those workaholics. Well deserved. Yunho needed it too. So when he asked if you could just cuddle him a bit and maybe cook something easy later, you couldn't find it in yourself to deny this request.

His bed? Soft. His body? Warm. Hands? Big and strong and held you against him perfectly. You were happy. You basked in the feeling of his chest pressed against your back, like puzzle pieces, you thought. You traced the veins on his arms, switching to play with his fingers from time to time. This feels nice. This feels so right. How could his members not see this? You were practically made for each other. You decided to bring it up.

''Why do you think our friends don't take us seriously?''

He let out an amused hum, his breath fanning over your neck.

''I dunno. Maybe they all want you, just can't take the fact I already hogged you for myself.''

He hugged you tighter. In all honesty, that was distracting. How could you think about other guys, about anything else, really, when your big and strong boyfriend held you so tenderly against himself? The thought of him wanting you and caring for you as much as you did for him should melt your heart. Instead, with the way his fingers played with your shirt, caressing your skin where it had rode up, it sent hot waves someplace else. Were you cruel enough to ruin this perfect cuddle session with your dirty thoughts?

''You're here, love?'' His hand went up to cradle your face.

Turning to him, you couldn't avoid looking at his lips. So pink and soft. You know just how nice they feel against yours. Your eyes had darkened already, the feelings you had for this man had your head all dizzy. Without much thinking, you moved forward, connecting your lips in a sweet kiss. You felt his breath hitch. A tiny sound tried to escape his throat, but your mouth didn't let it. His hands moved to your waist again, holding you even closer.

You put your hands in his hair. You just couldn't resist massaging his scalp and tugging gently, soft locks slipping through your fingers. And god were you rewarded with another sound from him, right into your lips, chest reverberating against yours. He stopped kissing you; for a moment he just needed to look at your face. Rose hue on your cheeks and blown eyes — no doubt he looked the same.

''I see,'' he chucled. Hands roaming your body, skimming your sides. ''You're so amazing. I can't get enough of you, my little bro.''

There it was again. The way he said it was ethereal. His voice so soft and perfectly low, his eyes dark and full of adoration. But it was the bro part that got your mind out of the gutter. Only for a moment, though.

''I want to make love to you so badly,'' you started. He sucked in a breath. His eyes fixated on your face, jumping over to your lips for a second. ''But please, stop with the bro thing. You can put that mouth to better use.''

''I'll be good,'' is his promise.

With that, he leaned in to kiss you again. This time pressing into you harder, needier. You couldn't control yourself any longer, too. With a soft moan, he moved even closer, almost getting on top of you, his weight pressing you into the mattress. And it feels, oh, so good. You bite on his lower lip carefully, anything to hear his beautiful sounds again. You let him take the lead, tongue gliding over yours. He moans at the taste.

Tongue keeps rooling over yours; he lets his hands slide under your shirt. He kneads your breasts, then moves his hands over to grab at your hips and thighs, and back under your shirt again. You feel on fire. You want him to touch you everywhere at once; you want to touch him even more. You're the first to give in, reaching to help him take his t-shirt off.

He's gorgeous. Hair a bit messy, lips glossy and red from the kiss. He pants a little, and you reach to glide your hand over his abs and chest, circling over his nipple. You can hear a tiny pleased sound leaving him, but it's not enough. He reattaches himself to you right away, mouth finding your neck. He kisses, bites, and licks at your most sensitive spots. You take him back gladly, hugging him close and moving your hips to meet his. He seems eager to do the same, another perfect sound leaves his lips. It's a groan, and it's right into your ear, and it makes your head spin.

''God, you feel amazing.'' He breathes out, and you can't take it anymore. You want him, you need him with you, on you, in you. Your clothes get swiftly discarded, that eagerness earning you a quiet snicker. You don't care; your brain is in a fog, Yunho is the only thing on your mind.

''Please, touch me.'' you ask, settled in his sheets and looking up in his eyes, dark pools filled with lust to the brim.

He obliges, positioning himself at your side. ''How do you want it, baby?'' He asks, but his hands are already on you. He groups your breasts once more, bringing his mouth to suck at your neck, moving down until he can lick your nipple. He plays with you as he pleases, kneading your skin and ghosting over the area where you want him the most. ''Please,'' you whine.

''What? Isn't it good when I touch you here? Or maybe here?''

He moves his hand to massage your thighs so close to your hot core, playing with your inner thighs, pinching slightly. You start to buck your hips involuntarily. Oh, but then he moves it over your belly to your nipples again. You tug at his hands and whine again. With more and more whimpering coming from you, he surrenders.

Long fingers find your sticky folds to roll through them. The sound you let out makes his dick twitch in his underwear. When he finally pays attention to your clit, you feel exstatic. You look at him, at his concentrated face as he plays with you. You're lost in this feeling, lost in him. His fingers enter you suddenly, and you try to say something, but no real words come out. All you can think of is how good he feels inside of you. Your fingers can never do what his long ones can. They strech you a bit, just enough to feel this sweet pressure and leave you wanting more. Just enough to reach that gummy spot there that makes you see stars behind your eyelids.

''You look so good like this, fuck.'' He praises. His voice brings you back to reality. ''So fucked out already, and I barely even done anything.''

You want to protest, to say that you are not fucked out yet, but the way your walls clench around his fingers is a dead giveaway. You are losing your mind a little. Can he really blame you, though, when he's the one pressing on that spot inside of you, so, so well. You can't really say anything, the only sounds escaping are your moans. Yunho thinks your voice sounds like honey, so sweet and thick with arousal. He bucks his hips against you, breathing deeply.

You reach for his cock, still trapped in his sweats and boxers. Suddenly, the fabric is just so frustrating. He lets out an airy laugh at your feeble attempt at touching him, taking his fingers out. You mewl at sudden loss pathetically.

''What's wrong, love? Do you miss me already?''

He leaves your side not even for a minute, but it feels like forever. With a teasing grin, he discards the rest of his clothing and finally climbs back to bed, now on top of you. It's great. He's big and pinning you down and pressing to you just right.

You want him inside, so you try to shift a little, make it more comfortable for him to finally fuck you, but he doesn't budge. The look you're giving his way is comical. You're flushed and needy, and there's that throbber almost visible on your forehead again. Your boyfriend doesn't give you time to ask, diving into another heated kiss with you. Your moan is bordering on a sob when he opts to fuck your mouth with his tongue instead of fucking you like you desperately need him to.

When at last he's lining his cock up with your slit, you think you're actually going to cry. He's so hard and so big, the stretch feels euphoric. Pleasure overtakes and your eyes flutter shut as he slowly bottoms out.

''Keep your eyes open. Look at me, baby.''

His words come out in a mix of a moan and a growl. You swear you could come just listening to him, hand-free and all that. You open your eyes, and the sight is breathtaking. He moves inside of you, your walls feel hot and tight and like the most expensive velvet. You can see all of that in his eyes. He feels so good, and you're the one making him hiss and groan in pleasure, his mouth forming the perfect O's and stuttering muddled praises. God, you love him.

You can't keep thinking about it for much longer. The pace he's set becomes a bit faster and sloppier, and he reaches his hand in between your bodies to put pressure on your clit. With it comes his strangled warning, '' 'm close, honey.'' And you can feel it, too. His dick hits that spot in you just right, and with your clit stimulated, the familiar feeling is building in your stomach faster and faster. ''Me too,'' your eyes close without you realizing it, and with a cry of his name, you come all over his cock. A string of curses follows, and you feel him twitch, hips stilling, and warm liquid fills you up.

You take a minute to come down to earth again, and so does he. Leaving a chaste kiss on your cheek, he rolls over beside you, still panting a little.

''Fuck. My baby, you did so well.''

You're not sure how it is possible to feel so giddy and syrupy after being so unbelievably horny just a second ago. Guess he has that effect on you.

''It was amazing, Yuyu. I love you, so much.''

''I love you too.''

He drapes his blanket over the both of you, snuggling closer, stroking your hair with your head on his chest. You want to say more cheesy things to him. Just as you open your mouth, though, there's a knock on the door, and Mingi's figure pops in, hand covering his eyes.

''Are you guys done? Please tell me you're decent; I do not want to see y/n's boobs or worse!''

You yelp, tugging the covers to your chin. Both Yunho and you decide to speak.

''We're decent.''

''When did you come back?!''

''Just in time to hear the closing credits.''

Mingi is now taking in the scene. Clothes scattered on the floor, Yunho's disheveled look, you trying to hide in the blanket. Lovely.

''I am traumatized, by the way.''

''What's that supposed to mean?''

''We brought beef, by the way. Wanna join us in the kitchen?''

You're lost. You don't know if you should feel embarrassed or offended. Mingi doesn't bat an eye at your barely covered form. At least that's what it feels like.

''Let us maybe get dressed first?'' Yunho chimes in, hugging you to him to try and cover himself a bit too.

Mingi leaves, and you let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding. You start to shift a bit when the door gets burst open once again, followed by, ''Wait, so you are actually dating?!''

#ateez fanfic #ateez x reader #ateez smut #ateez yunho #jeong yunho #yunho x reader #yunho smut #fanfic #smut #x reader #fluff #kpop fanfic #kpop smut

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moonstruckme · 2 months

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poly!wolfstar x reader or whimsical!reader would be absolutely wholesome Maee!! Love and hugs 💖 have a lovely day 💫

(to clarify I'm not the anon who mentioned wolfstar previously. I'm just a lovesick of these two lol. hope the request is ok! Sending good vibes your way✨)

Awh I love them so much! Thanks for requesting sweetheart, hope you have a lovely day too <3

cw: squished snail :(

poly!wolfstar x whimsical!reader ♡ 900 words

Remus comes home, juggling his umbrella with three drinks from the coffee shop down the street, to find you and Sirius kneeling outside your front door. You seem to be placing dead leaves in a circle around a wet-looking smudge on the ground.

“Um.” He steps under the overhang of your roof, adjusting his hold on the drinks to set down his umbrella. “What’s going on?”

“We’re surrounding the snail with dead plants so it can be nourished in the next life,” Sirius says easily. Like this is something he does often. “Watch your step, handsome.”

Remus heeds the warning, stepping carefully around the circle and behind the two of you. That’s when he notices your clothes.

For Sirius, wearing black isn’t so unusual. He knows it sets off his tattoos and comparatively milky complexion, and he loves nothing more than a dramatic juxtaposition. But you, Remus didn’t even know you owned clothes this colorless. Your dress is loose and flowy, an inky black that’s more of a contrast against your generally lighthearted disposition than it’s ever been against Sirius’ coloring. You look lovely as always, but like a dulled version of your usual self.

“Are we having a funeral?” Remus asks carefully.

Your posture is slumped, droopy as a weeping willow. “Yeah,” you reply glumly. “I went to take out the trash, and I couldn’t see in front of me. I crushed them.” Your voice seems to quiet further at the end, some mixture of shame and mourning clogging your throat.

“Them?”

“The snail,” Sirius clarifies. He rubs between your shoulder blades. “It was an accident, sweetheart.”

You nod, taking in a bolstering breath. “A funeral feels like the least I can do to try to honor them after cutting their life short.”

“Oh, that’s very thoughtful of you.” Remus kneels on your other side, ignoring Sirius’ sharp look when he can’t help a little grunt at the ache in his joints. He sets your drinks where they won’t get knocked over. “Maybe this was a very old snail, and you found it at the end of its life.”

“I just hope they didn’t leave a family behind,” you fret.

“I’m sure even if they did,” he says, reaching for his most reassuring tone, “their family would appreciate what a nice resting place you’ve made for them.” He pets the back of your head. “And that you’ve dressed up so nicely to say goodbye.”

You turn your face towards the ground, and Remus notices a soft pout to your bottom lip. Sirius seems to spot it at the same time. The other boy lifts your chin to kiss at it sweetly.

“Do you want to say a few words, lovely?”

Remus smiles over the top of your head at his softhearted boyfriend. Were it anyone else, Sirius would be making endless fun of them for creating such a fuss over a snail’s death, but because it’s you he’s in all the way. (Evidently, he’s learned his lesson after the time he squashed a mosquito in cold blood. You would hardly look at him for days until he apologized.)

You nod, clearing your throat. “I hope you’re going somewhere with tall grass,” you say, “and lots of soft, wet dirt. And I hope this food gives you sustenance for the journey.”

You mean the dead leaves, Remus supposes. He presses a kiss to the side of your head. “I’m sure it appreciates that, darling.”

“And if you want to reincarnate as an elephant to step on me, I completely understand.”

“Oh.” Sirius coughs. “Don’t we think that’s a bit far?”

“Yeah,” Remus agrees. “You’ve put yourself through enough already, that’s probably not necessary.”

You look between your boyfriends, bemused. “I’m only trying to make things fair. I killed them first.”

“I just think we ought to have a bit more faith in this snail,” says Sirius. “I doubt they’re out for revenge; they strike me as the forgiving sort. No need to relinquish yourself to an untimely squishing.”

You frown. “I suppose you’re right. Snails don’t have very long memories anyway, so as a group they might not be very inclined to hold grudges…”

“Exactly.” He gives your shoulder a loving pat. “Now, it looks like Remus has brought us something. Haven't you, handsome?”

Remus gives you both a small smile, reaching for your drinks. “Here’s a coffee, and a tea for you, dove. Let’s get out of the cold and drink them inside, yeah?”

“Okay.” You give the snail one last, speaking look before starting to stand.

Sirius hurries to Remus’ side, forcing him to use the other boy for support as he straightens up, knees protesting.

“Your hair’s all wet,” he murmurs.

“I know,” Sirius gripes under his breath, but Remus can hear the fondness hidden beneath his grousing. “I figured you’d be upset if I let her go out in the rain to find her ceremonial leaves alone.”

Remus chuckles and kisses his part. “I’ll make some soup before you both catch cold.”

“She’ll only think it’s karmic if we do.”

“No, not really.” Sirius hasn’t kept his voice quiet enough to avoid your hearing, and now you’re looking at him with an earnest bemusement. “It would be karmic if I got sick, but you haven’t done anything wrong, Sirius.”

Remus tsks. “I think you’ve repented enough already, dove,” he says. “Let’s get you both dried off.”

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swordsandholly · 5 months

Text

Across The Way

Ch. 2: And So It Begins

Retired!Ghoap x fem!plus size!Reader

MDNI

Ao3 | Previous - Next

Word Count: 2.6k

Summary: You go to Scotland with high hopes for your future. After all, you have the bakery you always dreamed of and a whole new life to live. Plus, the men who own the butcher’s shop across the street seem nice.

A/N: I got this out a lot faster than I thought I would. Hopefully my work doesn’t get too insane and I can get the next out in a timely manner - it’s going to be a bigger one!

“You were right.” Simon carefully cuts through the loaf with a serrated knife. He’s never lost his skill with them, despite their uses becoming increasingly more domestic over the years. It’s charming, in a way - the juxtaposition of where they started and where they are now.

“Right about whit?” Johnny asks.

“She is a pretty little thing.”

“Donnae tell me I need tae be worried about ye sneakin’ off at work.” He jokes. Simon would never, of course, but it’s fun to see the way his cheeks heat up at the implication. Without his mask he wears every expression with reckless abandon.

Simon settles his large frame into the seat across from Johnny at the dining table. It’s small, they don’t need much. The chairs always creak under Simon’s weight in an almost threatening fashion. He pushes a plate with two pieces of the bread and some eggs over to Johnny. There’s an odd tug in his chest when he picks up the slice - an urge to be gentle as he spreads butter over it. Gentility is not a compulsion he feels often.

“S’good.” Simon mutters around his bite.

Johnny nods along after taking one himself. There’s love in it - he can tell. A piece carefully crafted with only absolute perfection in mind. How strange that food can carry such a feeling.

“Was a wee bit worried we’d be stuck across from the nicest, worst baker in the world.” He mutters.

Simon huffs out a half laugh.

~~~

Your first week goes by in a blur. For a small town they sure do manage to keep you busy. It’s good, you remind yourself. Better than none. If you keep it up at this rate you’ll be able to hire help by the end of the summer quarter.

By Monday, the first day of your “weekend”, you’re overdone. Head dizzy and body exhausted, you spend the day in bed. It’s a gratifying exhaustion, one you hope to build more of a tolerance for. As of now, though, you elect to remain deeply buried under the covers.

When you wake for a second time the sun is already near setting again. The entirety of Monday slunk by with you in bed. You grumble to yourself angrily like an old man. You wanted to unpack today - to at least get your clothes and kitchen items put away.

“Stupid.” You grouse. At least you still have time to shower, you suppose.

As you stand the world blacks out for a moment, your body swaying in place. You allow yourself to fall back on the bed, sitting while your vision slowly comes back into focus. Blinking away black dots and off squiggles that dance across your eyes. On attempt number two you manage it, making your way to the bathroom.

The work is worth it. The pain is worth it.

This is what you always wanted, after all.

You are happy. You can feel it in your bones. They’re lighter than they used to be - your whole body thrums with excited energy even as you have to lower yourself with the upmost care into the shower seat. Even as you have to scrape one of the cheap fold out chairs you managed to get over to the stove while you cook a late night dinner. Thank god for low counters.

When you were arranging your schedule it took a while to get it perfected. To compensate for your body you have to have time to rest and be able to do a lot of baking preparation before the work week starts. Monday and Tuesday are for rest. Wednesdays are for prep. The shop is closed but you’re in the back working your ass off mixing and kneading and shaping doughs. As well as practicing new recipes you want to add to the store’s line up eventually. Your goal is to sell American biscuits, preferably in batches of six, but those take a lot of work and don’t keep as long. They’ll have to wait until you have hired help.

It’s all chance and whatever you can manage to make happen. You learned to be okay with that, though.

You’ve got plenty of spoons, you tell yourself. Just need to use them wisely.

When you finally close the fridge, now fully stocked with dough ready to proof and bake, you check the clock. It’s still the early afternoon. You finished sooner than you assumed you might. The thought makes you giddy - makes you feel accomplished.

It makes you feel normal.

As you exit into the warm spring sun you take a moment. Ever since you arrived you haven’t been able to just stop. To just take everything in - let the foreign air fill your lungs and the aura of the town sink into your bones.

It’s a lovely little main street that you’re located on. The building to your left is a large family owned pharmacy (very convenient for you) and to your right is an empty brick building. It looks like a former post office, but from what you know the current post office is a few blocks down beside the grocers. It’s quaint, the lot of it.

Your eyes settle on the shop across from yours housed in a simple brick building painted white. The upstairs is an apartment much like yours, you think, but from what you know it currently remains empty. The sign above the door reads A Cut Above the Rest. You wonder if that was Simon or Johnny’s doing.

Would it be weird to go in? You suppose not, after all they came to yours. It’s only fair you give them some patronage as well. Plus you need to ask how the bread was. Hopefully they liked it - you realized halfway through the night that you didn’t even ask if they like sourdough before shoving it into their hands.

That thought kept you up later than you’d like to admit.

You look both ways down the street. This particular spot doesn’t have a crosswalk but the road is so dead even when the downtown is busy you figure it’s worth risking. The lack of danger doesn’t stop you from fast-walking across, though.

The shop’s old-fashioned door bell chimes prettily as you push it open. For a butcher it smells extremely clean - almost clinical. It’s small, with an L shaped display counter and a register at the end nearest the door. Packages of sausage links and the like hang on displays across the back wall. Beside the wooden saloon doors that lead behind the counter is a little dog bed with a very well crafted name plate reading Riley hanging right above it.

So cute.

“Afternoon.” Simon appears from the back, wiping his hands on a rag. You jump a little, so lost in taking in your surroundings you forgot what you came here for.

“H-hi!” You smile. You forgot how intimidating Simon is. His gaze levels you - pins you underneath him like a fly under a swatter. Maybe that’s a bit dramatic. “I thought I’d come check your shop out and ask how the bread was?”

“It was good.” He replies bluntly. Totally monotone. The corners of his eyes crinkle ever so slightly. You decide that’s it’s a smile - whether that’s the reality of his expression or not.

“It’s really nice in here.” You look around. There isn’t much for decoration. The walls are too covered in menus and diagrams of cuts to leave room for anything extra. There’s a shelf of odds and ends opposite the main counter full of high end mustards and condiments. Little things to go with whatever you could think to make out of the varieties of meat they offer.

“Thanks.” Simon nods. “One moment.”

You watch with curiosity and a slight frown as he makes his way into the back. He almost has to duck under the doorway. Old buildings with low ceilings and all that. The place definitely wasn’t made with a six foot plus behemoth in mind. You continue to look around, rocking back and forth on your heels. They have a perfect score on their inspectors plaque. You might not know Simon well, but he seems the type to be absolutely precise about everything. The score doesn’t surprise you.

Yours is almost perfect - some rules are different here than in the US. Next time, you swear you’ll get it top notch! You look across the street at your shop. You wonder if you made the wrong choice with The Honey Bun. It’s bit much now that you see it from afar but it still makes you smile. That’s what matters, you guess.

Simon comes back out with a small, nicely wrapped package. “You don’t ‘ave any dietary restrictions d’you?”

You shake your head and he pushes the package toward you. Your eyes widen - it’s a great cut of high end beef. Like, really good beef as far as you know. Something you’d never be able to afford even if your business wasn’t brand new. You stare between Simon and the little pack in your hands. “Th-this is so nice but I-“

“It’s only fair.” He cuts you off. “Neighbors, yeah?”

You can’t help the grin that splits your face, eyes misting up despite yourself. Kindness has not been a constant in your life - more of a rarity. Something you had to claw and fight to earn. Being given it so freely but such a taciturn man has you reeling just a bit.

“Thank you… I’ve got to head back but, uh, thank you. Really.” You press the small package to your chest. “Tell Johnny I said hi?”

“Course.” He nods.

“Thanks again!” You grin, giving a little two finger salute before practically skipping all the way back into your dingy little apartment. Happily, you pack away the meat to use later. It’s too nice to just make any dish out of - best to save it for a special occasion. Your first gift in your new life. Best to savor it.

~~~

“Afternoon, bonnie.” Johnny appears in your doorway while you sweep up from the Saturday rush, bell chiming upon his entrance. “Hope I’m not a bother.”

“Not at all.” You smile, resting the broom on the counter. “Hello to you as well, Miss Riley.”

She huffs out a quiet bark in reply, sitting dutifully at Johnny’s feet. You don’t have much experience with service dogs - other than the well known rule not to pet them while they’re working. They were always too expensive for you to get and your condition wasn’t labeled serious enough to warrant financial aid. (Despite the fact that you can, and have, passed out and hit your head on something hard.)

“Can I get you something?” You ask.

“Och, I’m a’right. Just wanted tae stop by an’ say hello before headin’ home.” He gives you that dashing, bright grin. “Simon always kicks me out of the shop at close.”

“He doesn’t need help?” You ask. Surely cleaning up a butchers shop is a huge task. You have your work cut out for you with all the flower - you can’t imagine cleaning that amount of blood and mess.

Johnny shrugs. “The cleaning chemicals trigger my migraines.”

You hum. “Well, you’re always welcome to stop by. Actually,” you turn on your heel, “I’ve got somethin’ I’d like you to try, if you want.”

“Never one to say no to food. Especially from a pretty girl.” Johnny says as he follows. He tells Riley to stay in front and she listens - the perfect little lady that she is. You nearly trip at his comment, keeping your back turned so that he hopefully doesn’t see the heat spreading from your face and down your neck.

“I-it’s, uh, you ever had American biscuits?” You ask, praying he doesn’t notice the shake in your voice. You have to get on your tip toes to reach the small basket you made the day prior - carefully lowering it and pulling back the gingham cloth you wrapped them in.

An image of home.

“Aye, had them once on a layover at some chain diner.” He nods. “Donnae think they were fresh, though.”

“Well these are proper biscuits.” You carefully cut one in half with ease. “Sometime I’ll have to make you some gravy to go with.”

“Yer gonnae make us fat, hen.” Johnny chuckles.

“There are worse things to be.” The words come out more defensive than you would have liked. An automatic mechanism - a harshness you've honed over the years.

You hate how easily you wield it, sometimes.

Johnny leans forward over the table, a furrow in his brow. “I dinnae mean-“

“Here.” You cut him off and hold out the biscuit on a napkin, smothered with butter in the middle.

Johnny lets your interruption go. Probably happy for an out. He takes the fluffy baked good slowly, cupping it in his large hand with care. You wonder if he always does that, touches things with such gentle love. Is it learned? Is it just natural to him? Does he touch Simon like that? Gentle caresses?

What’s that like?

Johnny takes a massive, enthusiastic bite. Somehow his blue eyes manage to sparkle even more, grinning as he chews. “Sh’gew!”

You laugh at his attempt to talk around the food. “Glad you like it.”

He swallows roughly. A full body gulp. “Why’d ye start bakin’ anyway?”

“My grandparents raised me.” You fold the biscuits back up in their little basket. “My grandma taught me how. She was the best in town - won the pie contest almost every year.”

“Tha’s lovely.” The smile he gives you is so genuine it makes your chest constrict.

“Mean old bat but she could beat anyone in the kitchen.” You laugh. “We swore she had some kinda magic. Like a green thumb but for cooking.”

“My mum’s like tha’. Can make anythin’ out of nothin’.” He nods along.

You fall into an easy back and forth - never breaching anything deeper than the most surface level of content as he eats. It’s manageable. Johnny doesn’t push and neither do you.

Riley barks from the front of the shop.

“Och, tha’s my queue.” Johnny brushes off his hands and checks the front of his shirt for crumbs. “Take care, aye?”

You smile. “You too.”

~~~

Johnny’s words keep ringing in your ears. You don’t know why. It’s nothing special. There’s no reason to attach to them. You raise a hand to wipe off the fog and stare in the small mirror hung above your bathroom sink.

Pretty girl.

You scoff. You’re not a pretty girl. You’ve never been a pretty girl. Fat girl. Stupid girl. Sick girl. Tired girl. Sad girl.

That last one you’ve heard more than anything else. Out of all the descriptors of you it stands out as the most used. By everyone from teachers to your own family. Always just a sad, sad girl.

You got it from your mom, they’d say. It’s not like you would ever know.

You rip your eyes away from the mirror and try to let the thoughts melt away as you sink into the comfort of your blankets. Those thoughts live back on the other side of the Atlantic. They don’t get to follow you here.

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bucknastysbabe · 3 months

Note

OMG CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MILESTONE!!!!!

Okay I have this request for your celebration that is basically about Aegon being super superrrr obsessive with reader who is a bit older than him and he’s been keeping an eye on her in uni for a long time! BASED ON FOR YOUR LOVE BY MANESKIN

I wanna be the first man you look at tonight/I wanna be stuck in your head and make you go wild/I wanna drive you 'til the morning light and/I wanna leave you alone in the middle of the night/I wanna be a good man and see you smile

And I wanna swim between your thighs/I wanna fuck you 'til you scream and cry/I wanna hold you in my arms tonight/For your love, I'll do whatever you want

RUE RUE I FINALLY GOT YOU BABES- I hope you enjoy some dark bitches❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

Rating: Explicit

Tags: Obsessive behavior, college au, hinted stalking, girly might be crazy too, oral sex (f!receiving), dirty talk, playing rough, overstim, pnv!sex, songfic

For Your Love - Måneskin - Aegon II

Aegon can’t get you out of his head. Ever. What began was a passing thought of how gorgeous that junior girl at the party is. He was idly chatting with you and another, nothing serious, waved bye. The thought turned into a sore in the front of his mind by the end of the night.

He’d fed that sore, let it fester, and rot further until he couldn’t do anything but plan his day around you. A friendly face on campus. You had the sweetest smile. You laughed at his foul jokes. Aegon wanted to almost keep you in his room so he could keep an eye. No other men. Just him.

His plans would come to fruition at his frat, the next party. Aegon was almost positive he had you under his thumb now. He’d make fucking sure of it.

I wanna be the first man you look at tonight

He waited for you, eyes darting across the dark house, lights and grime, and too many people. There. You stepped through the door, dressed so slutty and gorgeous, dark eyes flicking immediately to his pale orbs. Aegon smirked, walking forward to grab you.

You were already tipsy, hugging him, cooing, “Aegggg, there you are, my favorite sophomore.” He gave you a bright smile, but his mind fumed about him not being your favorite in general. He held your waist tightly, eyes boring into yours as you held the look, lips curling upwards.

I wanna be stuck in your head and make you go wild.

He broke the gaze, you following after him. Aegon murmured, “Who’d you get all dressed for, huh? Your tits aren’t usually out.” The blonde couldn’t keep the jealous anger out of his voice— a strange juxtaposition against his toothy white grin.

Why couldn’t you just…be his already? Aegon bid his time. He even fucked other girls, pretending it was you gagging for it. Yet the object of Aegon’s desire wasn’t stuck with the septic rot in the brain, consuming his heart. You looked up at him, waving your hand to catch his attention.

“Huh?”

“I said I dressed up for you.”

Aegon panicked a bit as you held his eyes, coming closer to hold his waist. The blonde swallowed “You mean it?” You nodded, sliding your hands up his chest, smiling. His arms wrapped up around you, hands roughly grabbing your ass. Aegon murmured in your ear, “Careful what you wish for baby, been waiting on that one for a while.”

I wanna drive you 'til the morning light and I wanna leave you alone in the middle of the night

Aegon had you panting under him now, clothes off as he desperately sucked on your tits. It was a mad dash upstairs, kissing and groping like idiot freshman on five-dollar malt liquor. His heart felt ready to explode at your moans.

“Fuck,” he cursed, “I can’t let you go after this.”

You nodded, getting on your elbows to take his lips, somewhat unaware of how much Aegon truly felt for you. The blonde's heart pumped fast as he lapped at your plush lips, sliding a tongue inside as he pushed you into the bed. He felt like his brain was going to combust, swirling with thoughts.

His fucked up mind thought of dumping you somewhere so he’d be done with the obsession. But you were so perfect, he wanted to see the sun shining on your face in the daylight. He kept kissing you, biting down so your bloody lip would sate that strange urge.

I wanna be a good man and see you smile and I wanna swim between your thighs

You pulled back from the intense, iron-tinged kiss, grabbing at Aegon’s hair, panting, “Aegon, I want you. A lot, more than just this.” The blonde grinned again, pressing his forehead against your own, hands tightening on your waist. He moaned, “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted you to say that baby.”

Aegon grew possessive again at your shared grin, he wanted to see it all the damn time. But he had other ideas. His thick fingers grabbed your throat gently, pushing you prone. He kissed down your jaw, the valley of your tits, your tummy, nipping at your waist, eyes blown dark.

“Fuck, Aegon, please,” you whimpered.

He jerked off your skimpy thong, ripping the thing in half. Your head hit the pillows as he dove between your thighs, big hands cradling your hips and ass as his tongue lapped up the length of your soaked slit before swirling around your clit.

You cried out as he smiled, lapping and groaning, praising your ‘sweet pussy’. All you could do was whine and shake pathetically, making eye contact and almost crying. It was as if he knew your best spots, what you liked.

I wanna fuck you 'til you scream and cry, I wanna hold you in my arms tonight.

Aegon didn't care about a condom when he was taking you on the bed. He had already made you cum all over his face with a squeal, quickly shoving his cock inside. You whined, shrill from overstimulation. Yet you didn't fight it when he got on his haunches, pulling you across his thick thighs to drill into your obscenely wet pussy.

He panted and groaned while you screamed, his cock stuffing you perfectly right after that intense orgasm. Aegon jerked his hips upward, grabbing your face to growl, “Say you're mine. Scream it. Scream it for me.”

You whined, babbled, called his name. Aegon’s eyes narrowed as he leaned over you, hand tightening. He repeated himself, an icy edge to his smile. You whimpered and clenched around him, leaking more as the fear turned you on.

Aegon’s eyes rolled as he realized you were as cracked in the head as him, cock twitching.

You cried out, heaving between sobs “I’m yours! I belong to Aegon Targaryen! A-Aegon!” He slapped your ass excitedly, moaning, “That's my sweet girl, all mine.” His plush lips followed your tears, lapping them up before he swallowed your screams.

Aegon held on tight in the aftermath, spooning you, nuzzling into your neck. He breathed slowly, softly now. You rested, sore yet sated. There were some…strange things said and done. You didn't mind much, it was almost comforting.

For your love, I'II do whatever you want

Aegon rasped, “Was it too much?”

“No, I don't think so.”

He sighed in relief, kissing your hair. You twisted to face him, Aegon’s wide eyes were soft and almost fearful. Nothing like that fire and rage from earlier. You cupped his cheek and mumbled, “I like how dedicated you've been. I almost didn't know at first, but I'm charmed.”

Aegon raised his brows at first. Did you know? Something in your eyes told him not to worry. He settled into your palm, swearing, “As long as you're mine, I'll do anything, I swear” You kissed Aegon again, seemingly sealing the deal.

#asks answered #hotd fanfic #hotd blurb #hotd smut #aegon ii targaryen x reader #aegon ii x reader #aegon targaryen x reader #modern au #luv u rue

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ethanoic-acid-boy · 1 month

Text

My thoughts on whitepine:

There was a big focus on ivory staring out of the windows, and one particular shot which made the slats on the window look like bars on a cage. I think there's something she left behind, something she wishes she could go back to

Serapter is such a cute friend I love it

She's obedient almost to an unnatural degree. That's definitely something that's been drilled into her. She sounded so scared when they were in the room they weren't supposed to be in, and the way she hesitated at the piano just. Idk. Like it's obviously trauma but also it feels like it could be something more than that with the way that shes acting. And the way she was struggling to talk? I'm not sure where I'm going with this but it's going somewhere.

Clown was pretending to be all high and might but also he clearly cares about this poor traumatised girl with no self-esteem or independence. He was so concerned about her it was adorable

Pyro's illness. Which he was trying to hide. Which mysticat was asking him questions about, asking if he had bad dreams. But also he seems so nice.

The playing of the piano! Such a juxtaposition to what the scene was building up to I love it! Maybe it's supposed to show something about her feelings inside opposed to her demeanor outside? Idk I'm no good at interpreting things.

I love the "ivy" running joke. Great bit.

Beautiful music and amazing camera work. She really outdid herself on this.

#whitepine #ivorycello #ivorytv #mcyt #whitepine spoilers

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getitoutofmymindwrites · 7 months

Text

Petrichor. | joel miller x f!reader, 4.1k

Summary: You underestimate yourself but Joel doesn't like what's his to be degrated. Unless, he's the one doing it. He makes sure you know your place.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI, allusion to suicidal thoughts BUT it's a misunderstanding, low self esteem!reader, established relationship, unspecified age gap (make it you own😏), dom!Joel, sub!reader, dd/lg vibes, pet names(darlin', baby, sweetheart, little girl, good girl), degradation kink, praise kink, size kink, daddy kink, oral m!receiving, masturbation f!receiving, dacryphilia, pussy slapping (quite a few), deepthroating, facial, cum eating, aftercare, as always let me know if I missed anything!

A/N: First of all, thank you for your love on my little drabble Take me, I didn't expect it at all and I'm so glad you liked it, it really means the world! 🙈 Now, for this fella here, I swear to god it was supposed to be a drabble, I even named its draft as such, because I'm so decisive and steady.😂 I don’t know what happened, it started as a pwp but of course I had to go and pepper it with some feelings.🙄 And then @iamasaddie had a smut fic prompt including “Baby, you know, Daddy only hurts you because you look so pretty when you cry.” line and it fitted so damn well, like Joel's cock fits in reader's pussy, so there's that. 🥵🥵

P.S.: I hate summaries, I hate them, I wish someone else would write them for me. Ok, I love you all, let me know what you think!

Song on repeat: The kooks - Sway

Divider by @saradika-graphics

Maybe this is your favorite sound in the world, you think as you hear the rain drops hit the -floor to ceiling- windows of your loft.

Your mind wanders to your childhood memories searching for confirmation. And you think that, yes, this is it. So, it makes perfect sense that your favorite scent is that of the soaked soil after raining. Petrichor. You smile softly to yourself.

He seems to notice that. But then, he always does.

He’s on his side facing you, all 5’11” of his magnificent naked body laying on your bed, his head resting on the pillow. One hand under your neck, as you lay flat on your back, the other reaching for your jawline, turning you to face him instead of the window.

You turn to him, gladly, because this, this is your favorite sight in the world. Him. The soft glow from the lights outside is the only source of illumination and he couldn’t be more beautiful than right now. He makes your heart ache instantly. His calm and safe presence in your life is such a juxtaposition to the shadows of your past, it brings a lump in your throat. You swallow it down.

“Why the smile, baby?” he speaks carefully, like he feels the antithesis of the emotions inside you right now. And there it is, at last. This is the answer you’re looking for. This, this is your favorite sound in the world. His voice.

Your palm lands on the hand petting your cheek. “No reason,” you smile to him, “just feeling content.”

“Are you, though?” he insists after a minute, “feeling content?”

“I-, yeah, of course I do, you know that.”

“Do I?”

“I hope you do. You know what you mean to me, what your presence in my life means to me, right?” your voice is lightly wavering, the lump in your throat lurking still. “And- and I’m so happy with my job and my new place and everyth-”

“Why did you choose this place?”

“You don’t like it?”

“I didn’t say that. From all the places we’ve seen, why this? I saw in your eyes it did something to you.” And if you ever entertained the idea that maybe some things get past him, you do not anymore. You can’t hide from him. And you find that, oddly, liberating.

“Because it’s everything I'm not; I wanted to challenge myself.”

He’s curious now. After all these bits and pieces over these past few months you’re giving him something more. He knows there’s more. “How so?”

“It’s just-”, you roll your eyes in frustration, trying to compare a space to a person, “so open, so bare, no hiding spaces, you know, open floor and everything, I remember when I first walked in it made me feel uneasy, insecure, intimidated. So I rented it.”, you shrug like it was the most natural thing in the world.

“Why would you feel all that?”

He raises his head supporting it on his palm as he studies your profile from his side, seeing your struggle, the waterline of your eyes glassing over, the vein on your forehead bulging. There’s so much you want to tell him, confide in him, confess to him, but you don’t know where to begin. How to sum all this shit up.

“I just- I have lived my life without actually living. I just- existed. I compromised, backed down, let myself be led by people who were supposed to be my family and now-” your lips are trembling and you bite your bottom lip to stop it, your throat is closing, you feel this ache, this burning sensation inside of it, like acid through your veins, making you unable to breathe, let alone speak. Your face turns pinkish, the tears threatening to spill now, the sob ready to explode deep from your chest.

“-I just hate myself-” you mouth through an inaudible cry, still deprived of air in your lungs that they feel like they’re gonna collapse.

His legs straddle yours in a moment of panic, his eyes wide, his pupils blown, his body stiff, ready to engage in some kind of fight. He’s leaning above you, his long torso shadows over you, his huge hand cupping the back of your neck and pulls you in a sitting position underneath him. Your hands grab his forearms in confusion. It -he- makes you feel so tiny, which you are compare to him, but even more so, now that his knees are pressing down on the sides of your hips, holding his weight above your lap so he won’t completely crush you, making your body sink deeper into the mattress and suddenly you’re so small, so insignificant, so unnoticed to the rest of the room, of the apartment, of the world. Except from him. His eyes, raging fires, burning yours as they search for meaning, answers, reassurance. His fist is closing and tugging harshly at the hairs on the back of your neck, demanding all of your attention. The tears run freely down your cheeks now on their own volition, years of restrain and pain unleashed in a blink of an eye.

“Tell me I don’t need to fuckin’ worry about you.” he demands in a harsh tone, his expression painted with anger, desperation, agony.

You open your mouth to respond, but you are at loss for words, your thoughts hazy and confused.

“Tell me!” his voice high and urgent, now mirroring his expression, almost breaking.

And you get it now, you really do. The smell of fear, the fear of loss, the loss of existence.

Your eyes widen, your lips trembling again, “No, no!”, you shake your head violently, his grip on your scalp tightening more, in warning. His expression is torn, like the two faces of Janus, his jaw clenched in disbelief, but his eyes pained, begging, pleading for trust.

Your hands fly around his middle, squeezing him, your fingernails nearly tearing his flesh, “I swear Joel, no, that was not what I meant!” you’re desperate now, how could he think that, doesn’t he know what he means to you?

He doesn’t budge, he doesn’t move a muscle, his eyes keep scanning, keep searching. You try to rest your forehead to his stomach now, how massive he is above you and he allows it. His fist unclench from your hair, cupping your neck again tenderly, his mouth kissing the top of your head. Your arms hug him tighter now, pressing your face to his sweaty skin, inhaling his scent, grounding you, your fingers caressing his broad back up and down. “I swear, I swear.” you keep muttering on his skin, your nose deeply pressed against his firm chest now, barely breathing.

He moves both his hands to the sides of your neck, simply holding you and tilting your head up to look at him. He bends forward to touch your lips with his in a soft kiss, just flesh touching flesh. His forehead resting on yours, he sighs deeply, letting all the weight of the world go through his nostrils. “Don’t you ever-”

“I’m sorry Joel, I’m so sorry, that’s not what I meant, I promise.” you apologize, pressing your chin to his skin, looking up at him. But his eyes are still searching, not letting this one go.

“I’m just pissed it took me so long to wake up. I’m scared I fucked my life up. I’m scared I missed my chance. I’m scared-” you shake your head slowly in disappointment as you try to explain and Joel keeps his eyes on you, waiting. He nods, he’s listening, he’s here. He’s got you. “I’m scared I’m so broken; there’s nothing left of me to be loved.” you hide your face back to his chest again.

He holds you tight, whispering at the crown of your head, “There’s so much left my darlin’, so much left. And I’m here to pick each and every piece of you up and mend it back together.” And you know he is. You just don’t know if you’re worth the trouble.

Suddently your senses are so overloaded, you just need something to ground you. Hard. His natural musk mixed with sweat and sex from earlier that night hits your nostrils, his soft now cock practically under your nose, on your lap. And there is another answer for you. This, this is your favorite scent in the world. His scent.

You inhale deeply, your forehead pressing on his skin, feeling the sparse hair of his chest and the steady beating of his heart. “I need you Joel.”

He tugs your hair gently to raise your head and looks at you. Really looks at you.

“What do you need, sweetheart?”, he moves his hands cupping your cheeks softly.

“I need you to punish me.” you plead with your eyes closed, embarrassment creeping in.

His breath is hitching in his throat, his eyes darken immediately, “Yeah?”

“Yeah..”

“Use your manners then and ask for it, properly.”

“Please sir, I need you to take control, put me in my place.” you feel your skin shiver, your core warming up again.

He just stares at you, making your heart flutter.

You can feel him hardening, his heavy cock brushing against your stomach. You go to palm him, stroke him to his full potential but he grabs your hand and swats it away.

“You're asking for two different things sweetheart and that tells me you're in a delicate headspace. So, I am taking control from you and I am not going to punish you.” he settles.

“But I wa-”

He raises his brows “Are you sure you want to finish that sentence, little girl?” and that effectively shuts you up and turns you on. He doesn’t speak again, he doesn’t say anything else, he just puts his hand on your throat, resting it there for a second, observing you and then he’s guiding you down on your back.

He straddles you higher, on your chest, now hard in all his glory. He’s a sight to behold. Naturally imposing, no pretenses, it’s just who he is. From his gaze to the sound of his voice and from the broadness of his shoulders to the thickness of his thighs, he’s all man.

You must look awestruck because he smirks softly. You open your mouth to -actually you don’t know what you want to ask, he just caught you off guard, but he beats you to it, explaining the situation clearly.

“When you disrespect yourself, you disrespect me and I will not have that. I will not, under any circumstances tolerate that kind of behavior. Do you understand that?”

You just lay there, mouth agape, eyes confused.

He slaps your cheek not hard enough to leave a mark but enough to sting a bit, to snap you out of your trance.

“Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good girl. So..” he brushes his thumb over your lips, pushing it in slowly, pressing down your tongue, “I’m gonna fuck some manners into that mouth, baby.” Oh, shit. “From now on, when you’re chocking on your tears, it’s gonna be because of me ramming my cock down your throat like it deserves.”

Your breath hitches at his vulgarity, your pupils are blown wide and your slick is running down your ass cheeks now. You suck around his thumb, your thighs pressing together in need of some friction.

“You like that, you little whore?”, he removes his thumb allowing you to respond.

You don't know where you find the nerve but, “I thought you said no disrespect.” you blurt out, you can’t help it, you want to rile him up.

“Oh, she speaks now!”, he raises his eyebrows in amusement. Or in a challenge, you’re not totally sure if you want to find out.

He breaths a laugh, shaking his head in a mockingly condencending way, “I don’t think you understand your place here little girl, so let me break it to you.”

His eyes are glazed over, some sort of wickedness mirroring in them. “Only I get to call you names. No one else. No one. Do you know why that is?” He leans in and looks above your head, a sign that he’s expecting an answer.

“Nnn- no.”

“Manners.”, he shakes your head, your jaw grabbed between his fingers.

“No, sir.”

He’s nodding his head slowly. “That’s because only daddy knows what you need.” You know there's more coming, so you stay silent.

“So, when I say you’re a whore, what do you say?”

“Yes, sir.”

“And when I say you’re my good girl, what do you say?”

“Yes, sir.”

“And when I say you’re gonna take whatever the fuck I give you, what do you say?”

“Thank you, daddy.”

“Damn right.”, his cock twitches in front of you.

“Please, daddy.” You start whining and squirming underneath him, all needy and wet.

Yes, this is right. He is right. This is how you need it. This is how it should be. If your throat’s gonna hurt and burn and swell it’s gonna be from the invasion of Joel’s cock and not from the insecurities caused from your past.

“Please..” you keep whining.

“Manners, ‘mnot gonna ask again.”, he demands sternly. “And quit your whining, it won't get you anywhere good; got it?”

“Please, sir, let me touch you, pretty please.” you try with a steadier voice.

“Now, now, that’s a good girl right there, hm?” that seems to satisfy him. “Ok, baby, go on.”

Your trembling hands roam slowly all over his chest, then his stomach and the swell of his belly, moving all the way down to his thighs and finally up to the v of where they meet with his pelvis, massaging, caressing and squeezing him softly, circling your fingers around the base of his thick cock.

You're threading them through his pubic hair, your thumbs caressing lightly under him, on his scrotum. He inhales sharply, shivers raising the hairs on his forearms. You press his waist down on you more, resting his weight on you, his warm balls touching your sternum, his hands flat on his thighs.

Joel's eyes are trained on your face, studying you, recognizing the same want, the same desire and thirst that he feels, as you worship him. You raise your head trapping his cockhead under your chin, giving hot, open mouthed kisses to his base and his veiny shaft like you would make out with his mouth. You let him slide to the side of your face, his precum painting your cheek as you bring his cock above you, kissing and licking his underside, lightly sucking his protruding vein.

His eyes darken, enough of your teasin’. He fists his cock, stroking it slowly once, twice, his thumb pressing it down to guide it into your salivating mouth. He swipes his tip across your lips, smearing his precum all over them.

“What do you do if you want me to stop?”, he checks with you.

“Joel..” you drag the vowels of his name on your tongue.

“Show. Me.”, he demands, so you move your hand to his thigh and you tap three times.

“Good. Now, open.”

You just want to consume him, suck his soul out of his perfect slit. So, you obey, sticking your tongue out. He taps his wide head on your wet muscle one, two, three times and then he invades you, moving his hips forward.

There’s something so undeniably erotic about the movement of his pelvis, like a statement, I choose to give and you accept to take, a balancing of the dynamic between you; you could watch him thrust into you forever.

You take him in as far as you can manage without chocking. The feel of every vein and ridge filling your mouth, dragging on your tongue, is driving you crazy.

You hollow your cheeks and start bobbing your head back and forth in rhythm with his thrusts, while your tongue swirls over his delicious pink head, so soft and velvet, your cunt clenches at the memory of it stretching your tight cunt.

You exhale loudly through your nose, and you’re in a frenzy now, you can’t keep a pace or build him slowly up as you’d normally do. You need him now, all of him, as fast and hard as you can, or you’re gonna die, you think. Your eyes roll back and you’re moaning so loud, Joel feels the vibrations from tip to base.

“F-fuck”, he’s taken aback from your fervor, his jaw slack and his brows pinched together from the intensity of your pace.

“Mnot gonnghhhh-”, he groans deeply, every thought of dominance long gone when you’re giving him head like this. Normally, he’d punish you for attempting to take more than he offers, but your neediness is overwhelming. His breathing is faster, louder, in an effort to level himself. His hands fly to your head, like he would hold to your hips if he was fucking you from behind. He’s taking control now for both of your sake.

His fists tighten on your head, keeping you steady and compliant, his little rug-doll, like you’d go anywhere anyway. He’s all the way in now, your nose brushing his pubic hair, his scent driving you wild. He’s fucking himself into your tight throat harder and harder, the noises from your choking on his massive length and the drooling around your mouth might embarrassed you in another life, but not in this one, not now, not with him.

You take everything because he’s everything. Nothing else exists beyond him. He blinks; you see, he moves; you shift, he laughs; you bloom, he breathes; you live.

You don’t even think of your pleasure until he palms your cunt with one hand and your juices cover his fingers. He slows his pace, thrusting into your mouth almost sensually.

“Sucking daddy’s cock made you this wet, sweetheart?”

He starts to rub your swollen clit up and down, knowing how much more intense the sensation is for you this way. You’re already so close, you can feel your lower belly tense with a familiar warmth. You moan around his cock while you begin to grind your hips against his deftly fingers. You should know better.

He slaps your pussy, the wet sound of his palm on your soaked folds making you feral. “Mmmmm” you groan, arching your back unsuccessfully under that mountain of a man above you, rolling your eyes back, your hips never stoping their movement. You're so far gone, it should be embarrassing.

He slaps you again, harder this time and then a third time in quick succession. The impact with your clit sends waves of arousal all over your body, your cunt gushing your slick all over the sheets now.

Your body tenses, your hands squeeze his ass so hard, little moon-shaped indentations mark his skin and your legs are trembling. Tears start running from your eyes to your temples from the intensity of the act.

“You’re a wild little thing, aren't you?”, still slow-fucking your face, his middle and ring finger tapping quickly on your swollen bundle of nerves. “Playing coy and innocent until my cock’s in your mouth, only to come on my palm, hm?” And then he slaps your mound again.

“Mmmmm” you moan desperately, your face contorted in pleasure, tears pooling in your ears, your whole body covered in a thin sheen of sweat. You feel him twitching in your mouth while you swallow around him. He’s hard and hot inside you and that makes you drool even more as you suck him off with everything you got. Your neck hurts, your jaw hurts, your lips are stretched to their limit, but you’re not stopping for a second.

You start to whimper and his hand leaves your hair to thumb your tears, bringing it to his mouth. You watch him trapping his digit between his plush lips and sucking on it, tasting your saltiness and everything feels so intimate, sobs start shaking your chest, making it almost impossible to breathe.

You try to push him away to breathe but Joel keeps fucking your mouth. “You know what to do if you want me to stop.”

You keep struggling to breathe but you are not going to tap his thigh.

Joel doesn’t stop, either. “You either tap, or you fuckin’ take it.”, he warns, but you shake your head in denial. “Then I guess you can take it, little girl.”, he concludes while he watches you still struggling and sobbing.

“Baby, you know, Daddy only hurts you because you look so pretty when you cry.” he says softly and you squeeze your eyes shut in an effort to calm yourself, more tears spilling out, nodding at the best of your ability.

“That’s how you gonna come for me”. You didn’t expect that.

You’re not sure you can do it and your body stiffens. It hurts good, what he's doing, leaving you panting and wanting, but you fear it's not enough to make you come. He can read that on you and he feels your hesitation.

He moves his thumb to your cheekbone, caressing it gently. Then he moves it lower, to the corner of your outstretched mouth, feeling himself sliding in and out of you. “Fuck, baby, you take me so good. You’re doin’ so good for me,” he’s panting and you know he’s holding himself back, “your mouth was made for daddy’s cock. Just let go baby, don't fight it, ok? I got you, you’re gonna be ok.”

He starts fucking your mouth roughly now, his heavy balls slapping on your wet chin, the sounds echoing in the room nearly pornographic. His hand resumes rubbing your clit in tight circles now, building you up, then tapping it a few times to bring you close and then slapping it once to bring you back from the edge, before he starts all over again.

Circling. Tapping. Slapping.

The bastard is fucking edging you.

He did exactly what you asked of him. He took control, left no room for thoughts, for decisions, for questioning. You just lay there and you take it.

“Daddy needs you to come, right fuckin’ now darlin’; be my good girl and give me what’s mine.” he commands and you obey, because there is no other way.

Your orgasm is explosive, your cunt spasming violently, your eyes rolling into your head, Joel’s pulling back his cock from your open mouth to let you breathe properly but you’re holding your breath in. “Theeere she is, there she fuckin' is..”he smirks in satisfaction, his fingers keep circling your overstimulated clit to prolong your high while he jerks himself fast above your lips.

You exhale loudly when you remember you need to breathe, the air is coming out of your lungs forcefully, hitting Joel’s tip and he comes instantly, thick ropes of milky cum painting your cheeks, nose and lips, running down to your jaw and neck. There’s so much of it, its warmth on your sweaty skin making your pussy keep clenching.

All because of that gorgeous man above you. Because it’s a part of him and he’s gifting it to you.

Joel brings his hand from between your legs to the side of your head, steadying himself, leaning above you, his head resting low between his shoulders, his breathing erratic and loud. His eyes are closed shut, his face wrecked, his muscles still convulsing from his intense orgasm.

Please, open them, let me look at you and he does open them, making you realize you said it out loud. His gaze is one of adoration and something else you don’t dare acknowledge. The edges of his mouth are curled up in a soft smirk.

His fingers caress your face, gathering his seed from your skin and feeding it to your starved mouth. You suck around his thick fingers, your tongue swiping everything clean. He places a soft kiss on your lips tasting himself on you, before he stands to fetch a warm washcloth from the bathroom to clean you up.

You close your eyes and just lay there, still, utterly content and satisfied, lighter than ever. In peace. You feel the mattress dip under his weight again and him gently cleaning your face and neck, then between your legs, discarding the cloth on the hardwood floor when he’s done and laying on top of you, peppering soft kisses all over your face.

“Good?” he whispers against your lips.

“Yes, thank you daddy”. You bring your hands on the sides of his head, kissing the space between his earlobe and jaw, then his jawline, his bottom lip, the edge of his mouth, the apple of his cheek as he smiles, the tip of his nose.

It’s how you know to say thank you, I care about you, too; I love you.

For now.

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the-monkeies-girl · 4 months

Text

Head First. ( Noa x Human! Reader.) Part Four.

man i may as well write a whole book lmao

Title: Head First. Fandom: ( Kingdom of the ) Planet of the Apes. Rating: T. ( Tiny bits of fleeting injury mention, some mating innuendos. The same as the rest of the series lol. ) Words: 7.3K ( Holy SMOKES- ) Pairing: Heavily Implied Noa x Human!Reader ( HEY WE MOVED UP A BIT ) Summary: You could grovel. You could beg forgiveness for being offended... Or you could just wait in silence for Noa to speak. They all seemed like such good ideas. READ THE SERIES HERE.

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Silence fell over the two of you, a consequence of the circumstances you supposed. Not supposed, you knew better, but that’s just how you put it to keep the guilt at bay, to keep it from eating you from the inside out. Fingers finding a new home in the rocky sand underneath your body, you contemplated and tried so desperately to reason with the part of yourself that was telling you to gravitate closer to him, pull yourself nearer, let him know with just your body that you were sorry, that you couldn’t bear to be without him.

Scoffing quietly at that, your more rational side came back with its own rebuttal. Just talk to him. It’s the least he deserved after the cold encounters you’ve had since your hunting trip. The stares of conflict from across the communal dinners, the times when you were with Soona, having to stand down and excuse yourself if you saw Noa approaching, the intense scrutiny Noa found himself in when you had turned your attention towards him. Scrutiny not just from you anymore. He could feel it coming from Anaya now who had a true lack of understanding. That’s how Noa urged himself to feel better after the argument earlier in the day. No, no… He shook his head and shut his eyes for a moment. The disagreement earlier in the day. That was better.

The sun setting was nice, you thought numbly to yourself in some subtle attempt at not letting your eyes dig into Noa. The way that the sun dipped in shades from bright oranges near the horizon, all the way to the fluffy and pink nature of the clouds that were hovering so delicately over the landscape, maybe ready to turn for the worst as it was the time of year for those storms to brush the area during the early evenings and into the late nights. If only you were in a different juxtaposition… You would look at that setting sun and beg to think that it was a romantic setting if you weren’t so aware of the choked tension floating between one mind all the way to another.

Pulling your hands upwards, you wrapped them around yourself and traced the lovely nature of those clouds with your gaze, clasping your elbows and smearing dirt to your skin as a result of your hands previously being buried in the Earth. It appeared like you were a small child, looking at Noa, how tightly sprung together he was, and decided to take the same position yourself. Your ribs pressed against your knees as you pulled in on yourself. In no way was it comfortable but there was a calming sensation that rolled over you at the idea of squeezing yourself out of existence. There was nothing tying your eyes to the sky and they fell like a hardened raindrop to the Chimp in front of you.

The way that his shoulders were dominoing in, the way that his breathing was slow, pensive and full of thought. Fur was a bit on edge, raised around his shoulder blades and on his neck. He had acknowledged that you were there when you first stumbled upon him. He hadn’t heard you move away so the safe assumption was that you were both sitting in deafening silence out of pride. Which one was more stubborn, Ape or Echo?

Deep down, you hoped it was your resolve that was going to persevere.

You had to be judging him, he figured and out of mild self-deprecation, he’d in turn think that he was deserving of that… Deserving of you scolding him with the heat of your gaze, deserving to never be in your presence again… How he just wanted to be near you again, even if it was in dull conversations that served no consequences from either one of you. It should have stayed that way, Noa beckoned to himself, a bemused chortle hitting the back of his throat at the idea. Flicking the water with his fingers, he watched as a ripple effect took hold and scattered like the wind along its surface. It should have stayed simple… Should not have ever happened, he spent so much time now convincing himself that the feral pull he had towards you meant nothing, and that he just wanted to go on with his life. You didn't want to be with him. He didn't want to be with you. Apart, separated by years upon years of misunderstanding and battling cultures.

Despite trying to convince himself otherwise, his feelings were the polar opposite. It made him ache, pulling at a part of him that he didn't even know existed. A part that would disappear the day you decided to leave the Eagle Clan to go back and live a decent life of normalcy, maybe even finding another group of Echo nomads.

Twitching his right shoulder at that, he tried to shake it off. The thought… of you leaving… Noa never seeing you again, Noa never being able to hear your voice in his head, holding out on some immature thought that maybe you’d come back to him. Noa knew that if that’s what you chose, he’d have to stand down and let you do it. There was ultimately nothing he could do to get you to stay, in fact, he wondered at times why you did. You held no bonds here, maybe Soona and Anaya as they were becoming your friends, but other than that? Noa shook his head and huff, chest heaving out hard and then collapsing back in. no reason, no reason at all…

Alas, sitting behind him with that all familiar glow of heated glances laying waste to his shoulders, you were only wondering what was going on inside of his head. You found the fist of judgment coming down harder on yourself than on anything Noa could, or potentially could, ever do to you. If you were to talk to him, what were you going to say? An apology made sense in most scenarios you ran your way through but… You also felt entitled to an apology yourself and you wondered for a split second if Noa was in the same throes of contemplation, essentially playing a game of Chicken to see who would falter first.

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There was no solace in dreams. You tried to push that small disappointment from your thoughts. You doubted you’d be able to have any semblance of a good dream given the absolute nightmare you just had. Alone in a room with three strange Apes… Chimpanzees, your mind corrected itself, prideful that it was able to remember such a detail. You drew a deep breath in, trying desperately to ignore the burning feeling of your throat. It was screaming for water. Your mouth felt dry too, parched to the point were you felt the beginning of cracks at the edge of your lips. The mild aching in your head returned, most likely now due to a mixture of your injuries and dehydration. All this aside, you didn't want to open your eyes in some hope that maybe you could beckon a dream your way. A good one. Something to distract from your previous nightmare.

Moving quickly, you were sitting straight up with a gasp falling from you body once you felt the pestering pounding on your temple. Grasping your head for a moment, you tried to get your bearings back. It was just a nightmare, you told yourself over and over again. Squinting, your eyes came into focus; slowly but surely you were able to make out mild details in the room. Feeling like you were about to lose whatever sense of pride you had left, you gazed at a form in the corner. It seemed human, at least in the low firelight, and it was moving. At least, shoulders were. You peered at them, tilting your head in hazy confusion. Your body felt like it was crunching with the movement, you knew that to be from dehydration for sure. You just had to think to yourself again; how long had you been passed out?

Shoulders were moving, right right… Shoulders… moving… Hands were doing something, you could tell, seeing a minor sheen coming from whatever they were holding and fixated on. You shook off the grimy feeling of your hair, actually your entire body, and felt your breath catch in your throat when you finally deduced the form to not be that of a human. Oh… Oh! You groaned audibly, grasping at your head again with both hands as it thrusted. It almost felt like your brain was rattling around your skull like it was in a cage it was trying to escape from.

Within a split second, you were face to face with… A Chimpanzee. You wanted nothing more than to move, get away from their stare as they were curious of the nature of your previous sound. It felt overwhelming to move, especially when your head was whirling. When your muscles felt tense, when your back felt sore… You thought about your ankle and the lack of pain radiating from that. Had… Had that Ape… You were having a difficult time remembering their name, had they done something to help your pain there? You remembered the rooty paste splatting on your skin, you remembered there being three of them before where there was only one now. Double vision hit you as you looked down. They were holding something for you. A crudely sculpted bowl of sorts. It was made of clay from the valley, you noticed the deep red color.

What was in it… You squinted again, seeing a ripple of sorts as they finally held it out between your two bodies. There was… Was no way… Your mouth parted and without hesitation, you grabbed it roughly and consumed what was in it. Briefly, their hand lingered in the air before falling back to watch you. Water dripped from your face, drawing themselves into the cracks that reside on the corners, down your chin to drip onto your lap. You wanted nothing more than to place your entire body into water, but the water from the bowl did well enough. Lifting a hand, you wiped the remaining traces from your face and placed the bowl down next to you. Your head was still beating, but as you came to incredible and appreciated lucidity, it slowly tapered to an ignorable throb from your temple.

Noa. That was the name of the Ape here, you recognized him from the details of his face from his pure proximity the first time you woke up. Soona and Anaya were the other two. Two males, one female. You were impressed with your ability to remember despite passing out shortly after processing the fact that you had been saved by them. You stopped moving at that, staring at him in front of you as he placed his body down to sit. They had… Saved you. They could have very well left you there to die, they very well could have taken it upon themselves to take your life, it would have been incredibly easy because you were already on the doorstep of death.

But, they made the choice not to and went through what you imagined to be a rather difficult transverse, to bring you back to their Clan and heal you. Well, to an extent. How much about injury did they know? Obviously, enough to get the spear head out of your leg. Enough to get the bleeding to stop with a paste, that you deduced must have had natural numbing abilities for the bottom half of your calf was of lesser feelings as opposed to its thigh or foot counterparts.

Swallowing, you finally felt good enough to talk. Felt good enough did not equate to actually talking as you still held a frantic force of hesitation; rightfully so you thought to yourself as you saw Noa move, this time being able to actually process how he moved, how he was quick to grab the bowl from you, how he traced back to the corner of the room, hand free but his other appendages were what was keeping him in his hunched position. You could hear him filling the bowl back up, returning just a second later. He handed it to you, flinching back at the mere ferocity you had grabbing it and consuming again. Water fell down your face again, this time getting caught on its way down along your neck. The water shone and reflected against the firelight. Noa noticed you didn't take any time to wipe the water off this time, his attention being drawn back to your eyes that had not left his body once.

“Many days asleep. Three nights… two days. Night now.” Noa looked over at a window that led to the outside. If you focused, you could hear a bit of a bustle. Hoo’s, hoots, hums… So many types of sounds and they were surrounding you. There were more Apes. Obviously, you mentally slapped your forehead. Obviously there were more!

You processed his words, trying to get past the gruff nature of his voice. He was obviously well versed to speak verbally, but from the awkward placement of his tone, it sounded like he wasn’t used to speaking for prolonged periods, or at the very least, used to talking in full sentences or enough to give you insight. At least, that’s what you assumed. He was telling you how long you were out. You figured that his analysis included the few minutes you woke up in a panic before subsequently falling to oblivion again. “W…” You started and felt your throat almost collapse in on itself out of fear of appearing vulnerable. But, out of your own mental sanity, you needed just one more answer from him, “What happened…?”

Noa hesitated. He could answer one of two ways. Honestly or less honestly. Honesty; it would be the truth. Soona, Anaya finding you half dead from being hunted, Noa then proceeding to tell them that the Eagle Clan did not kill, even mercy kill. Taking you back to the Clan, forcing his friends to transfix with him as he pulled the spearhead from your leg and urged them to help him keep an eye on you. Urged them to help him help you. Less honesty; it would be the same as the truth, maybe taking away the meager details of Noa forcing his friends to help. He contemplated and figured that in your Echo nature, you would always assume the worst and think that his force towards his friends meant that they didn't want to help you and you could potentially take that as a way towards assuming they were ultimately going to kill you once Noa wasn’t there.

So, he went with the less honest truth.

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‘I do not understand.’ Those four signed words left you reeling, almost chomping at the bit just to get the confirmation that he was actively not ignoring you and that your speculation was correct. He was deep in thought, waiting for the moment when it was all tied together neatly. When he could talk without another fumble, or at least, hope that another mistake, another mis-interpretation, was far off in the distance. He had fumbled with you once. He had fumbled with Anaya and tried to keep that out of his mind, pinning that he would find a way to solve it once he got his issues solved with you.

It had taken some time, the sun now dropped behind the curve of the Earth, the only light now being that of lingerance, beams sinking into the cold blue sky that had shifted to that color in the blink of an eye and replaced the previously enjoyed oranges and pinks with its first tease of glowing lights that speckled the heavens on a nightly basis. You felt cold, goosebumps rising themselves along your bare arms as the mild chill of the dead night began to set in despite it still being light evening. Baited in anticipation, you weren’t sure if your goosebumps were from the brisk air or from the excitement it gave you that Noa was finally talking, albeit, using sign language.

‘Do not understand,’ He repeated and rolled his shoulders once more. His moniker when nerves were running rampant and he had no other outlet available, often choosing to subside and tinker with things than talk them through, “Echo.” Oh, if you could jump with joy without reserve at the sound of a voice, you’d have done just that as you reveled in the sound of it encapsulating your eardrums. You wanted to pull it in closer, closer… Whisper just to me, your senses screamed at Noa, you’re just for me…

Drawing your bottom lip in at the statement he had made, a blend of delicious verbalization with signing, you understood the notion. He was now looking over his shoulder, right at you a few feet behind him. The dark that was setting in now made it difficult to see his expression against the backdrop of his dark fur and with that, he turned back forward and you were stuck looking at his back. Again.

You needed to muster yourself to say something. The bold accusation you had about Noa, thinking that it was all his fault, thinking that you were the one who deserved an apology was quickly thrown out to the wind and carried off. “I’m sorry…” You whispered again. “I-I don’t know why… I got so mad. Offended…”

“Echo is confused of Echo.” Noa observed.

You huffed out a sarcastic laugh but his observation wasn’t too off the mark. You have felt confused now for weeks. Confused since you first talked about romantic love. Confused at the feeling spurred deep inside of you listening to Noa talk about rabbit mating, confused by the entitlement that you felt, wanting him to only look at you when his attention was elsewhere contradicting the absolute befuddlement you got when he looked at you… You picked your body up from the ground, shaking a few small pebbles and sand off your backside as you trailed towards the Chimp, quite on your feet but you knew he was aware of your body and its placement. If he could be the first to talk, you could be the first to move. Compromise, right?

Noa acknowledged you, tilting his head briefly towards you as you bent down before his focus drifted back towards the water, this time, making small traces along the waterline with his gaze. You were confused when he looked in you. He was intense with his watching, bordering on absolute obsession. It felt like it left burn marks on your own irises when you made eye contact. He was grabbing your throat metaphorically, hot in his hand, small in his hand, and forcing you to drown with him and you never stopped it. You… You didn't want it to stop.

You wanted nothing more than to grab his chin and force him to look at you in this moment, but you feared the repercussions. Noa snapping himself out of your touch, Noa refusing eye contact, mimicking you when he asked you something you didn't know how to answer, refusing to… to… Your hands had balled into small fists as you crouched down next to him. Not sitting, you were teetering on balancing yourself on the balls of your feet.

“It is… my fault.” Noa was quick to draw the blame solely on himself. It was habitual behavior, you noticed he’d rather apologize himself and get it out of the way rather than point the finger at someone else. You wondered if that was a quality his Mother had as opposed to his Father, the late Leader of the Eagle Clan, who from Noa’s words, was courageous and did what he could to save his people.

“Push… Pushed too far with Echo, Anaya was right. Should have known better, Noa should have known, should have never---” He came to an abrupt stop, not willing to give either of you the satisfaction of his next words but they still teased at his tongue in a bid to just admit. It pulled him in for a second with the promise that it would feel better if he just told you how he felt, what was going on but on the other hand? Absolute chaos could ensue. You could reject him, you could choose to find another, either Echo or Ape. What would Noa do then? He felt uneasy in the pit of his stomach like he was in freefall.

He’d suffer, he’d never find another mate, he wouldn’t want to. You weren’t even his mate now and he’d vow to never find another unless he won the chance with you if you gave him the option. Hm… Noa didn't sit with that word now… If.

Pessimism went a long way, much further than optimism.

He was unraveling faster than he was able to cope with and it left you to back track and replay what he told you a few times. Details were spilling you had no idea about. When did he talk to Anaya about all of this? What did he tell him? What did Anaya tell Noa? Swallowing hard at the prospect that Anaya now despised you, you shook it off and looked down at your hands. Noa was careful, you were sure he selected his words with Anaya and you weren’t going to lose a friendship… or two.. You glanced at Noa. Whatever kind of friendship this was. Were you even friends? Or just a naive Ape and a scared Echo who had mutually understanding that it would be beneficial to tag the notion as friendship, just to supersede and stroke both their egos? You didn't want to think about that; about the idea that Noa was just using you for the human knowledge you had and it was nothing more than surface level. Maybe, he was pitching a fit because if you didn't talk to him, he didn't get information.

You felt a burning sensation at the back of your throat as you tried to stifle down any attempts at crying. Noa hadn’t ever seen you do that. He had seen you melancholy, sad at times but never actively crying. Did Apes cry? Did they know what it meant? What would Noa’s response be? The emotional release was seducing you, one tear at a time as they began falling from your eyes, rolling down your cheeks in utter silence before catching a ride down and collapsing against your hands below. Quickly, your hand shot up upon feeling wet and you were wiping your eyes and telling yourself to stop… Stop, stop, stop. Noa would just feel worse if he knew you were crying, if he saw you crying in front of him.

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Eyes stared longingly at the window as sunlight drew its beautiful face into the room. Finally, after what felt like eternity, you could see the room for what it was. A small wooden structure, walls slanted in to a point at the very top but with enough space left to vent, letting smoke of the fire escape without smothering the occupants. A very simple but a very sophisticated design. There was a pile of items in the corner, none of which were instantly recognizable other than the jar that held the paste that so deliciously kept the wound on your leg from bleeding and from general feelings of pain. It was incredible and you wanted to ask what it was but felt it stepped over whatever cordial boundary was set by Noa, by his Clan.

The last three days were incredibly… Boring. You hadn’t been permitted to leave the space you had become so accustomed to save for the occasional guarded times you were let outside to relieve yourself. You didn't get much for your bearings from doing that, the times you have, it was either too dark out and you found it difficult to really assess the village, or Noa purposefully kept his entire body in your line of vision. You had to bark at him the first time, explaining that it was private when he didn't turn away, your hands freezing as they made work to unbutton your pants. He didn't question and turned around quietly and paced forward a bit, perplexed at the severity of your demand.

Privacy, he noted, was a virtue it seemed, at least for Echo’s. Who was he to deny when he had no alternative motive? You hadn’t been allowed to bathe, only eating when Noa supplied you with sustenance, three times a day, on a schedule it seemed. You were lucky to have your backpack with you and were silently grateful to Noa and his friends for not discarding it. It held your clothes and a few small personal effects. If you couldn’t bathe, at least you could have a change of clothes. One dirty pair to another slightly less dirty pair.

He was never late for your meals, showing up at sunrise as the sun peaked itself onto your eyelids, spurring you out of your sleep, at mid-day when the sun tickled your shoulders and right about now, when the sun was flirting on the horizon and threatened to disappear. And he never stayed longer than he had to. He’d watch you eat, never taking in the pleasure of eating with you as it would give cause for Anaya or Soona to presume that Noa was bonding.

Your meals were usually a few pieces of roasted fish, some berries, and nuts in the morning and evenings, your mid-day meal being a bit more light on the fish with a flashy assortment of roots of varying colors. Some brown, some purple, some red. Potatoes, maybe? Whatever it was was good enough to eat. Simple again, and it kept you energized enough to heal your body.

Luckily, the banging from your head subsided yesterday and only hurt if you were too fast to quirk your neck in movement. The bruise on your shoulder blade was nothing more than a light pink, the burns around your wrist from rope was healing tenderly into a small line of pink. They might completely disappear if they chose not to scar you. Your leg was doing its best with what was given. You were just thankful that it didn't have any adverse signs of infection.

As if at your beck and call, Noa propped the door open with his free hand, sauntering rather gracefully as he stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. Made from simple thickets of wood bound together by some twine, it looked lighter than it actually was, the weight behind evident in the small grunt that Noa made handling it with one hand. Feeling your stomach churn from excitement, you were quick to take the bowl once he offered it to you in his usual silence, not anticipating much back in return. You didn't converse outside of him asking how your calf felt, asking if you felt better. He was surprised to hear the utterance of a tiny ‘thank you’ under your breath and it left him feeling bewildered.

You went for the nuts first; always the easiest as they came to you already deshelled. Eagerly placing them in your mouth, you almost groaned out of satisfaction as your teeth came crunching down on them, the noise reverberating in your ears. Licking your lips, you peered over at Noa who was back to his usual spot. The corner, he must have had a good view to watch over you from there. Able to see if you’re gravitating towards the door, able to see if you’d even consider crawling out the window.

Huh, you hadn’t thought of that but now that it was in your mind, it wasn't terrible--- You stayed quietly still, watching with confusion as he placed a bowl in front of himself, hunching his rather broad body down and picking at the contents. Was he… You tilted your head and felt your fingers brush over some berries. One smooth, one a bit fuzzier. Blueberries and raspberries, you figured. There was no way he was eating with you, right?

Drawing your pointer finger to your lips, you licked it and made eye contact with Noa, who in his fit of confidence that shifted him to eat with you, watched the movement with a vague sense of perplexity, green eyes narrowing as your tongue sapped the juices of a berry off your fingertip before you dropped your hand back down, now slightly encased with saliva. Noa watched it glimmer as it caught the light of the sun rays before you picked at the berries, searching for another red one.

Echo’s were weird, he kept telling himself and tucked into a piece of fish. He’d be absolutely foolish to not notice your eyes on him. The way they seemed to glare as he took a bite, canines more evident than ever as he tore apart the skin of the fish to get to the tasty meat inside. He made it look so easy, you felt a pang of jealousy at how slow you were to dismantle the fish. You avoided it; picking now at the berries and nuts, not sure if your lack of hunger was from actual lack or the fact that Noa was sharing a meal with you.

“Do you…” You perked up at the sound of his words, mustering a tiny reverb off the walls of wood around you. “Not like?”

Ah… You slid yourself to sit cross legged and looked at your bowl. He must have noticed you taking less interest in the fish. Noa knew it wasn’t like you to skimp. In fact, he was pretty adamant about getting you to eat, knowing that it would somehow aid in your body’s ability to heal. The faster you heal, the faster you can be released, was always the feeling you got for him, no personal attachment to the situation outside of not wanting you to die. You didn't answer him right away, staring contently at the food he so graciously gave you day in and day out.

“I um…” Drawing your bottom lip in, you chewed at it roughly. Enough to leave indentations of your teeth against the sensitive skin, but you reminded yourself not to go too hard otherwise you were going to end up with a mouth full of blood from breaking the skin. Noa took note of that action. Nerves, he had figured out. You did that when nervous, put on the spot. “I-it’s good.”

How were you supposed to make small talk with an Ape? What were the common grounds you could find? Obviously food, Noa brought it up first. The weather? Oh! Your hobbies, of course. He must have wanted to know all about those, you murmured sarcastically in your head. You had no idea the social etiquettes of Apes and it was evident with how he held himself that Noa thought the same about Echo's.

“Can show you,” He manifested right next to you, causing your heart to jump into your throat. You tightened your shoulders and looked at him, mouth open in surprise as you simply didn't see him abandon his spot to come sit next to you. Were you really that deep in thought? "How to take fish apart."

You blinked once, looking down at his hands as he was now holding an entire fish in his grasp. You blinked twice, bringing your eyes back up to captivate his gaze with fleshed out fear but simmered curiosity sat behind that. He had to have seen it sitting so close to you, the proximity leaving very little threshold. It was apparent that personal space was not a concept to him, but you took mild interest in the way his breathing collapsed against your shoulder with each out-stretched exhale. Wordlessly, you nodded and he began a very intricate breakdown of how to work around the skin, work around the bones… You watched him, flickering between both his hands and his face, like a child being taught something new. You retained nothing from the lesson, more perturbed as before. He was so… remarkably human.

A part of you shifted with uneasy thought.

Maybe… He was more like you than you cared to admit.

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Luckily, you were able to stave off crying audibly but now you dealt with the consequences of your eyes burning from the tears still lingering behind them. You fell back from the balls of your feet harder than you anticipated, bringing your body in to sit next to Noa. You weren’t going to move for a long time, you decided, maybe even pulling yourself into a tightly sprung ball and just sleeping by the creek rather than making the trek back to your make-shifted nest for what you would assume to be a rather fitful night of sleep. Laughing to yourself, you thought you’d sleep better on the cold hard ground rather than in your securely knitted bed.

What you so desperately wanted was for the Ape next to you, your shoulders brushing once with loose connections, to take you into his arms and pull you into his nest for the night. You’d let him, you’d let him hover above you in devotion, crashing down on you like waves of the ocean, you’d let him sleep next to you in comfort to drift to a place full of dreams… Your knuckles were flushed with white as you had tightly curled your hands into fists, a violence shaking through you at the unsatisfaction that you were more than likely never going to experience those things with him. A reality that was set in motion the moment you met. The day he chose to save you instead of letting you die like you were supposed to.

“Noa does not understand Echo…” That was a clear moment of self-admittance and it stung a bit to think about. You shared the same sentiment but had the impression that Noa already knew that and was focusing on his own turmoil in hopes that maybe it would solve yours as well. You had given him so much but so little at the same time. So much about your humanness, but not enough about your own self; shutting him down completely the moments when conversations turned too personal. All personal items he knew about you came from picked apart conversations between the two of you, conversations he pretended to not be invested in when you talked to Soona, Anaya and even his own Mother. He was always listening, always holding himself out to get more, more…

He wanted it with such fever, such carnal intent that he’d consider begging for it but never did out of self-reservation and some sickening idea that he was too important to do that; his mind would yell at him. He was the leader, he was the Eagle Clan. He should only make others beg, he should only make his Eagles follow his commands, Noa wasn’t built to take them from others. But, if you asked him to? If you commanded Noa to beg? Oh, Noa would grovel on his knees just for a speckle of your attention, just for an insight to you, not just as a figment in his imagination anymore, but as a real possibility, an avenue for him to take.

Your fingers twitched in desperation to touch him. Just a sparing graze of your fingers along the bridge of his brow, a fluttering sensation of your hand against his bicep. There was that incentive to comfort but he was giving you nothing to work with. He was still rigid next to you, his breathing paced and steady. If he were putting effort into making it so, he was covering it up very well. Swallowing back a lump that had formed in your throat, you scooted closer to him and let your shoulder make brief contact with his own. Thick fur tickled at you, primal feelings resting in your spine to just lean fully against him, knowing he’d let the weight of your body collapse against him and he’d hold you in place. That’s what you thought would happen in your mind; nothing from Noa gave you intent to think otherwise. He’d probably let you fall if you did that, not understanding the pure intimacy of the gesture.

“I…am sorry. Should never have asked… about mating… ” That tore you out of a mild daydream. Noa’s voice came out softly as opposed to the usual awkward placement he found himself in trying to form words.

Acknowledging the apology for what it was, you sighed a small bit and nodded in acceptance. Noa saw it out of the corner of his eye. So… That was that. You both apologized, you both looked out at the creek in front of you, watching as the water lapped its way across the landscape. The sun was gone, the sky was turning from that lovely blue-ish purple to a deeper setting midnight navy. Soon, there was going to be no illuminance to see the features of his face next to you, to trace his furline on his brow, to sweep yourself in the intensity of his eyes… Sighing gently, you shuffled next to him once more, shoulder bumping rather than grazing.

“I never have.” You said to him with a flash of a smile more at yourself than at him. You were trying to keep yourself calm and grounded, trying to convince yourself that you were doing the right thing by opening up. By admitting something to him that no one else knew about. “Mated… You uh…” Drawing your bottom lip in, Noa sunk happily into that. Some sort of normalcy back in this whirlwind of two weeks that took almost all his willpower to overcome. “Asked me about… that the first time we really talked. I never answered you and I--- I should have…”

Quietly, Noa turned his attention to you, green reminiscent of leaves with dew on them burrowing holes into your own. Whatever it was that you were doing, groveling, bargaining… He didn't want it to stop as the sound of your voice drew him back to some realm of peace and when you turned his face to continue speaking, he could feel your breath against his cheeks, against his eyes and he shut them for a moment to relish in the sensation. “I had nothing to hide with my answer… You… Were just asking me a perfectly acceptable question.” You laughed, “I mean, I’d want to know if you were mated in case they came for you.” Pausing at how stupid that must have sounded, you gave him one bit more, taking the entire concept of the last few conversations into your own hands, “ I’ve never even been kissed. Wh-When I told you all about that.. I don’t even know how it feels.” You laughed a bit at that. The concept of embarrassment hitting you like waves. Now he knew. Now you knew he knew and that was okay. What Noa chose to do with the information was now the question in the air.

“Thank you…(Name).” He was soft beside you, the nature of your name coming out of him sounding more enticing the more it replayed in your mind, starting the moment it hit your ears. This was the first time he called you that, and not their rudimentary ‘Echo’. With widened eyes, you looked at the side of his face, trying hard to find what he was thinking, how it must have felt to say your name… Was it good? Did… did he like the sound of it? Your mouth fell into a state of awe, almost slack jawed. You wanted him to say it again. Your hands grasping at his fur in your head. And again. His hot fur against your body. And again. Him making you his.

You nodded at his gratitude, unable to verbally say anything in fear that you were going to absolutely come crumbling down. Slowly, as the way he said your name beat its way around your skull, you began convincing yourself to get up and go back to the village for the night. All these thoughts despite the gravity pulling you to Noa. It wasn’t meant to be this evening, Noa must have figured the same and stood beside you. He was fast with his actions, holding a hand out before you even garnered enough energy to get your legs moving. You looked at it right in front of your face, admiring the longevity of his fingers for a split second too long.

With a surge of unfamiliarity resting in your stomach, you granted permission and a few seconds later you were holding onto his grasp and he was hoisting you up with ease like you weighed nothing more than a little leaf. Staggering once your feet planted on the ground, you were oblivious to your hand adjusting itself away from Noa to grasp at his forearm to garner you some balance. You were closer than you had been in quite some time, nearly chest to chest as he could have very easily poured himself right over you. But, as soon as brisk contact was made, it was lost and you felt your hands momentarily reaching to bring it back as he had been the one to move, now a few paces ahead of you, leading the way back. You followed obediently, not even beckoned.

‘Talk tomorrow?’ Noa signed at you once in visible light from the many spires of fire around the village. You traced his hands with your eyes and nodded wordlessly, feeling a sense of vibration hit your senses. You were either really tired or really wired. You had a feeling it was the latter, only accelerated by the way that Noa was staring at you. Deep in thought it looked like his green and golden orbs were hiding behind the dilation of his pupils. Your confirmation made him swell a bit, his chest broadening at the idea of seeing you in just a few hours time. There was a silence that fell around the two of you. There was no one else around, well… Noa tilted his head and peered into your nest for a split second before quizzically looking around. There was no one at the creek, but now the idea hit him. You could invite him in, you could ask him to stay, you could…. How he’d love to fall inside with you. He opened his mouth to speak, “I---.”

“Do you want to come inside?” You asked gently to him, your voice wrapping him in chaos. You… Wanted him to come in? Maybe, you were just being polite. He knew that from time to time you did things that made you uncomfortable for the comfort of others, Noa recognized it well because he was the same way. Or was it… having read the look on his face and recognizing he must have processed your words from earlier, he now had questions he wanted answers and wouldn’t sleep well unless getting instant gratification?

He hoped he wasn’t that easy for you to read otherwise the conversation pieces in the future he wanted to delve into were going to give away a lot of his inner thoughts. Admittedly though, you were on the same boat and wanted to give him his answers which spurred you to invite him to join you. In your personal space. Alone. With… Just… Noa… The back of your head zinged. Your ears felt prickly, your feet felt heavy, your breathing picked up but oddly enough, your lungs felt like they were full of water.

You couldn’t stop now though- Your eyes watched as he shifted himself onto all fours and he settled himself inside of the small hut you had made your home. Wordless, but just as graceful with his body as he always had been.

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