phantomxlady

[helioooss]

music girlfriend

synopsis: you’re the weirdest loser karina has ever met in her life, but you’re cute. and different. and she might just like you. (loser girlfriend x mean girlfriend core)

w/c: 5k+

warnings: swearing, lots of it; mentions of bullying. like always, read at your own risk :)

a/n: a concept like this was my first ever fic…except that it was way more toxic and horrifying. i’ve rewritten it. but just reading something i wrote over 10 years ago makes me CRINGE

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

yu jimin is a force of nature on campus; the kind of girl people talk about in hushed tones, partly out of awe and partly out of fear. she’s got a reputation that precedes her: mean, cold and walls higher than the burj khalifa itself.

she doesn’t mince words, and her insults almost always land with surgical precision. you don’t cross her unless you’re looking to get burned, and even then, it’s not guaranteed she’ll care enough to react.

people say she’s a heartbreaker, and the rumors aren’t exactly subtle. she’s the type who’s been through a messy breakup or two, you’d never know it by looking at her though.

karina, as everyone liked to call her, doesn’t mess around with vulnerability: she does leather jackets, sharp eyeliner, and a smile that’s more threatening than warm.

most of her relationships don’t last long; people get too close, then quickly realize that they’re only scratching the surface of someone who’s built walls too high to climb.

and, then, there’s you. you’re not even remotely on karina’s radar, like at all. unless you count that one time she stared you down just for coughing in her presence. you remember it vividly: it was a wednesday morning, and you were hurrying to class when you caught a coughing fit through the hall after attempting to chug a tropical juice box in two minutes.

unfortunately, karina was passing by at the exact moment you let out a loud, ragged cough, and she stopped dead in her tracks; fixing you with a death glare that never left until you were out of sight.

“are you fucking kidding me?” she yells out as you practically run away. “loser!”

that stare was enough to make you want to crawl into a hole and disappear, and it cemented your fear of her. you’ve avoided her ever since, not that it’s been difficult — she’s too wrapped up in her own world to notice someone like you anyway.

yet, despite the fear and the certainty that she’d tear you to shreds if given the chance, you never miss an aespa gig.

every friday night, you make your way to the dingy dive bar outside of campus where they perform, staking out your usual spot in the far corner with a ginger beer in hand because you couldn’t stand the taste of anything else, but you only ever manage to drink half before losing interest. it’s not about the drink; it’s about watching her own the stage.

you sit there, trying not to make eye contact, trying to be as invisible as possible while simultaneously wishing she would look your way, just once….in a way that isn’t terrifying.

of course she doesn’t notice you. or at least, she pretends not to. she’s too busy flirting with half the room, her eyes sharp and her voice carrying over the crowd like a spell.

your only real friend on campus is yunjin, your roommate, who’s the complete opposite of you —confident, outgoing and friends with pretty much everyone.

she talks about the girls in aespa often, but you never really pay attention because, well, you’re usually too busy trying to complete a lego set or desperately attempting to finish either a boss in wu-kong, or a quest in dead island 2. in desperate times, you turn to call of duty though.

one saturday evening, as you’re halfway through building a lego roller coaster on the kitchen table, zero human interaction, yunjin drops a bombshell.

“hey, by the way, aespa’s coming over tonight,” she announces casually, as if she’s talking about ordering pizza, fingers twirling her hair and all.

you don’t even look up from your seat. “uh-huh, cool.”

“no, like, they’re actually coming here. to our dorm,” she repeats, clearly trying to make sure it sinks in.

you snap a lego piece into place and nod absentmindedly. “yeah, i hear ya.”

yunjin sighs, clearly defeated. “you’re really not listening, are you?”

“nope,” you admit, focusing intently on the roller coaster track.

“can you please get a girlfriend?” she leaves you to yourself and retreats back into the couch, shaking her head at how hopeless you are. “god, this place needs another woman.”

and then, maybe fifteen minutes later, it finally registers. aespa. karina. here. in your dorm. you’re in your toy story pyjamas with fresh spaghetti stains on it.

you freeze mid-piece placement, your eyes going wide as panic washes over you. “wait, did you say aespa is coming here?”

yunjin looks up from her phone, a grin spreading across her face. “finally paying attention, huh? yeah, they’ll be here any minute.”

“jennifer, are you serious?!” you practically yell, scrambling to your feet, knocking over half your lego set in the process.

“very serious,” she says, clearly enjoying your reaction.

you don’t waste any more time. there’s only one thing to do: that’s to get the hell out of there. before yunjin can say another word, you’re darting down the hall, your feet barely touching the floor. you burst into your room and start throwing things into your bag, moving with a speed you didn’t know you had.

“are you really running away?” yunjin calls after you, chuckling.

“yes!” you shout back, shoving random clothes into your bag. “i can’t deal with this!”

“you’re such a wimp!” she teases, but there’s affection in her voice. “you’ll be fine, i promise —“

“absolutely not,” you cut her off as you slam your door shut. you grab your keys, yank open your window and climb out onto the fire escape, your heart pounding.

as you make your escape, you look down and realise you’ve left a trail of legos behind you, tiny colourful pieces marking your pathetic retreat.

meanwhile, aespa finally arrives. winter, the band’s chaotic drummer, is sprawled on your couch, balancing a bottle of cheap beer on her forehead. ningning, the bassist, is rummaging through your snack drawer like she’s on a mission from god. giselle, the lead guitarist, is inspecting your lego collection with an expression that’s equal parts curiosity and confusion. and then there’s karina — leaning against the counter, looking bored and vaguely annoyed, like she’s too cool for this entire dorm (which she probably is).

“so, where’s this lego nerd?” ningning asks, looking around the living room.

“oh, y/n? she…left,” yunjin says with a shrug, trying not to laugh. “like ran away when i said you guys were coming over.”

“scared of us?” winter asks, looking offended. “we’re not that bad.”

“no,” yunjin adds, shaking her head. “she just really sucks at socialising but once you get to a point, she will yap your ears off.”

“it’s karina,” giselle says knowingly, nudging the singer with a grin. “she’s the scary one.”

karina just rolls her eyes, unfazed. “whatever. if she’s that much of a coward, she’s not worth worrying about.”

as she glances around the room, her eyes land on the half-finished lego set on the kitchen table. she moves closer, her gaze shifting from indifferent to slightly intrigued. she picks up a piece, examining it for a moment.

“what’s this supposed to be?” she asks, holding up the stray lego.

“a roller coaster,” yunjin replies, still smiling. “she’s been working on it all day.”

karina raises an eyebrow, setting the piece back down. “interesting.”

“what, the legos or the girl?” giselle teases.

“both,” karina admits, her voice low and thoughtful. and for a moment, just a moment, her usual cold demeanor softens. “she’s kind of weird, isn’t she? fucking coughed on me once and it just set me off.”

“so you know of her?” giselle raises an eyebrow, a playful smirk on her face.

karina frowns. “what the hell is your deal?”

“definitely,” yunjin cuts them off before they get started. “she’s into video games and all that nerdy shit. has never had a girlfriend in her life, but she’s gorgeous and funny in her own way.”

karina hums, her gaze lingering on the legos. “i’ll be the judge of that.”

meanwhile, you’ve been hiding out at the park not too far from your dorm for a while now, perched awkwardly on a bench — staring blankly at a nearby pigeon that’s scavenging for crumbs. it was the first place you could think of in your panic, but now that the adrenaline is wearing off, your stomach is making very loud complaints.

“great,” you mutter to yourself, pressing a hand to your rumbling belly. you didn’t plan this escape well. you don’t have money on you…just your keys and the few legos you hastily shoved in your pockets.

with a sigh, you finally accept defeat. “screw it,” you mutter, pushing yourself off the bench. “i’ll just sneak in, grab some food, and sneak back out.”

you start making your way back to the dorm, trying to convince yourself that you can avoid those girls altogether. if you’re lucky, they’ll be too busy talking to yunjin or trying to figure out the roller coaster you abandoned on the kitchen table.

approaching your dorm cautiously on your tippy toes, you open door as quietly as possible, sets of laughter audible from the living room — familiar voices that make you both excited and anxious.

you manage to sneak inside unnoticed, keeping your head down as you head straight for the kitchen.

the fridge is glowing right in front of you, immediately grabbing the nearest thing you see: a pack of cheese sticks and a pineapple juice box. you’re so focused on grabbing food and getting out of there that you don’t notice the figure leaning casually against the kitchen counter.

“back so soon, coward?”

you freeze, and slowly turn to find no one else but karina standing there. she’s holding a half-finished lego roller coaster piece, looking at you with a mix of amusement and something else you can’t quite read.

“oh,” you croak out, feeling your face heat up. “i was just…hungry.”

she raises an eyebrow, her expression somewhere between disbelief and mockery. “hungry enough to risk coming back into enemy territory?”

“it’s not enemy territory,” you mutter, peeling the wrapper off the cheese stick awkwardly. “i just panicked.”

karina’s smirk widens. “because of me?”

“maybe,” you admit reluctantly, taking a bite of the cheese stick. “you’re kind of scary, you know.”

“good,” she replies smoothly, stepping closer. “keeps people on their toes.”

“it definitely kept me out the door,” you mumble, trying not to flinch as she moves even closer. you notice she’s still holding the lego piece, twirling it between her fingers like she’s trying to figure it out.

“so,” she says, her voice dropping a notch, “what’s with the legos? seriously. i mean, a roller coaster?”

you glance at the half-built model on the table, feeling both embarrassed and defensive. “what’s wrong with a roller coaster?”

“nothing,” she replies, surprisingly sincere. “it’s just unexpected considering you’re over twenty.”

“what the hell is that supposed to mean?” you ask, narrowing your eyes.

she shrugs, her gaze shifting between you and the legos. “i’ve never met anyone who builds a roller coaster in the middle of a saturday night. alone.”

“what kind of person do i seem like, then?” you challenge, more curious than offended.

“the kind that runs away when someone like me shows up,” karina shoots back, but there’s no malice in her tone; just that familiar teasing edge.

you feel your face heat up again, but you manage to hold her gaze. “well, maybe i just don’t know how to deal with someone like you.”

“and what’s someone like me?” she asks, taking a step closer.

“mean,” you say bluntly, surprising even yourself.

karina blinks, caught off guard. “you coughed on me.”

“you remember that?”

“i felt a splash on my face you sore loser,” she whines, remembering the day so clearly. she watches you for a moment, then she gestures to the roller coaster. “so, are you gonna finish this or what?”

“i was planning to,” you say defensively. “it’s not my fault i got interrupted.”

“by yourself?” she raises an eyebrow at you.

“by you,” you correct, feeling a strange mix of frustration and attraction.

her eyes narrow playfully. “well, i’m here now. so, let’s finish it.”

“you want to help me?” you ask, genuinely surprised.

“why not?” she says, picking up another lego piece. “i’ve got nothing better to do, but come meet everyone first.”

you eventually shuffle into the living room, feeling like you’re walking into a lion’s den. the place is chaos: winter is trying to balance on one leg while shouting about something unintelligible, ningning is tearing into a bag of doritos with alarming enthusiasm, and giselle is inspecting your lego city sets like she’s discovered a hidden temple.

“look who it is!” ningning calls, grinning at you with chip dust on her fingers. “finally decided to join us, huh?”

“i was busy,” you say awkwardly.

“busy hiding,” karina corrects, plopping down next to you on the couch with a casualness that makes your heart rate spike.

“it’s not hiding,” you mutter. “it’s called strategic retreat.”

she shrugs. “sure, whatever helps you sleep at night.”

“she’s literally just a girl,” yunjin chuckles, taking the first sip off her beer before grimacing. “what is this shit?”

winter suddenly flops onto the floor in front of you, looking up with wide eyes. “so, do you build like castles and stuff? or just boring things like a roller coaster?”

you frown defensively. “it’s interesting!”

“wow,” winter says, clearly unimpressed. “that’s so nerdy, i think i just lost 10 cool girl points talking to you.”

you roll your eyes. “i didn’t think you had 10 cool girl points to begin with,” the room erupts in laughter, and you can’t help but feel a small sense of triumph.

“ohhh, she got heat!” giselle hollers, slapping her knee dramatically.

karina leans closer, her voice low enough that only you can hear. “you’re funny.”

you blink, caught off-guard by her close proximity. “uh, thanks?”

“don’t get too excited,” she adds, a bored look on her face. “i still think you’re weird.”

“i know,” you reply simply. “but that’s kind of my thing.”

somehow, yunjin turns the tv on and you end up in an impromptu mario kart tournament, with winter yelling instructions at everyone like an overly aggressive coach.

“take the shortcut, take the fucking shortcut!” she screams, despite the fact that she’s not even playing.

you manage to hold your own, despite ningning’s attempts to distract you by waving doritos in your face and giselle’s shameless attempts to use every dirty trick in the book. you’re neck and neck with karina, who’s surprisingly good and also surprisingly ruthless.

“you play dirty,” you accuse as she sends a blue shell your way, knocking you out of first place.

“you say that like it’s a bad thing,” karina retorts with a frown.

“it is a bad thing,” you insist. “only jerks use the blue shell.”

“guess i’m a jerk, then,” she adds, not looking the least bit sorry.

“you’re the worst,” you say, but there’s no heat behind it. in fact, you’re kind of having fun.

“i’ll take that as a compliment,” she says, flashing you a victorious smile as she crosses the finish line.

“you shouldn’t,” you mutter, trying to sound annoyed but failing miserably because karina just smiled at you for the first time in your life.

as the night goes on, the group slowly starts to mellow out. winter has passed out on the floor, snoring softly with an empty can of beer in her hand. ningning and yunjin are sprawled across the couch, humming some random tune and giselle is poking at your lego millennium falcon with a mix of fascination and confusion.

karina is still sitting next to you, her elbow resting on the back of the couch. “so,” she says, breaking the comfortable silence, “you really like legos, huh?”

you nod. “yeah. it’s kind of my thing.”

“i can see that,” she says, glancing around at your impressive collection. “it’s such a loser vibe.”

you raise an eyebrow. “hey, you’re not the first to say that.”

“i’ll make sure i’ll be the last.”

you laugh, feeling a strange warmth in your chest. “well, thanks, i guess. you’re not as scary as i thought you’d be.”

“i can be scary,” she insists, narrowing her eyes for effect. “maybe one day i can build one with you, deal?”

“woah, okay,” you say, grinning back. “a deal it is then.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

since that unexpected night at your dorm, things between you and karina have taken an unexpected turn. it’s not exactly friendship —karina’s still mean, still cold in that familiar way, but there’s a new rhythm to it, a pattern of teasing that you’re surprisingly getting used to.

whenever you pass each other in the hallways, she makes it a point to throw some kind of insult your way, usually with a smirk that’s equal parts mocking and playful.

“hey, loser,” karina calls as you’re trying to balance a stack of books in your arms.

“hi,” you shoot back with a smile, doing your best to sound unfazed.

“nice outfit,” she adds, eyeing your oversized hoodie and faded jeans. “did you rob a fucking thrift store for that look?”

“maybe,” you reply with a grin. “at least i’m consistent!”

she laughs (surprising everyone around her), her eyes flashing with that familiar mix of amusement and something else — something warmer. “still a loser, though.”

“and what about it?” you retort, shaking your head as she walks away, still chuckling.

it becomes a routine over the next few days. each time you cross paths, karina manages to find some new way to tease you. whether it’s about your outfit, your habit of carrying too many books, or your eternal obsession with legos, her comments are always mean-spirited, but in a way that somehow makes you smile because you know she doesn’t mean any of it.

“what, still working on legos?” she asks one morning, catching sight of a lego manual sticking out of your bag.

“yep,” you say brightly. “gotta build something, right?”

“how pathetic,” she drawls, but there’s a spark in her eyes that betrays the insult.

“at least i’m consistent,” you say, giving her a mock salute as you pass by.

not everyone understands the strange dynamic between you and karina. a group of boys in the football team who’ve been eyeing the whole thing decides to get in on the fun — or at least what they think is fun.

one afternoon, as you’re making your way across campus, you hear someone call out, “hey, loser! still building legos? what are you, five?”

you turn, your stomach sinking as you realize it’s not karina, but felix who is doing a poor imitation of her usual teasing. his tone lacks the playful edge, replaced with something harsher, meaner.

“seriously, you’re still into that kid stuff?” jake sneers, towering over you. “what, got nothing better to do with your life?”

you try to laugh it off, shaking your head. “just having fun, guys.”

“yeah, real fun,” taehyun mutters. “no wonder karina only talks to you to make fun of you.”

you flinch at that, the words cutting deeper than you expected. before you can think of a response, someone else steps in.

“hey! back off,” yunjin shouts, marching over with fire in her eyes. “what’s your problem?”

they all look momentarily startled, but jake just shrugs. “we were just joking around, yunjin. it’s not a big deal.”

“well, it’s not fucking funny to me,” yunjin snaps, her voice loud enough to draw attention. “and if i see you messing with her again, you’ll have to deal with me. got it?”

they mumble a few half-hearted apologies before retreating, clearly not expecting to get yelled at in public.

yunjin turns to you, her expression softening. “are you okay?”

“yeah,” you say, trying to sound nonchalant. “i’m fine.”

your roommate isn’t convinced, knowing you better than anyone else. she pulls you aside and demands to know if this has been happening often. you try to brush it off, insisting it’s just dumb teasing, but she’s not having it.

“i’m telling karina,” she says, her voice firm.

“don’t,” you plead, but she’s already walking off, determined to set things right. “it literally just started today!”

when yunjin finds karina, she doesn’t hold back. “your stupid jock friends have been picking on y/n,” she says bluntly. “all thanks to your teasing.”

karina’s eyes narrow instantly. “what? who?”

“those idiots on the football team,” yunjin explains, crossing her arms. “they think it’s funny to imitate you.”

karina’s expression darkens, a mixture of anger and something else — something protective. “where is she?”

“probably at lunch by now,” yunjin replies. “but karina, don’t just—”

“i’m going,” karina interrupts, her voice leaving no room for argument. she stalks off toward the cafeteria, her jaw set and her steps quick.

you’re sitting alone in the cafeteria, picking at your food and trying not to let the earlier incident get to you, but before you can get too lost in your thoughts, you hear a familiar voice.

“hey assholes,” karina calls sharply, her voice loud enough to turn heads. “got something to say to y/n here?”

you look up, startled, as she strides over to your table with the same jocks from before trailing behind her. they look a lot less cocky now, their heads bowed in a mix of embarrassment and fear.

“uh, we’re sorry,” felix mumbles first, barely making eye contact. “we were just messing around.”

yunjin’s eyes flash dangerously. “yeah? well, don’t. she’s off-limits.”

“seriously,” karina deadpans, her arms crossed - voice cold and mean. “if i see you pricks messing around with her again, you can say goodbye to your scholarships.”

you sit there, stunned and unsure of how to react. you weren’t expecting this; definitely not karina marching in like a one-woman army to defend you.

the boys mumble a few more apologies before scurrying off, leaving you alone with karina and yunjin.

karina lets out a slow breath, her expression still serious. “you okay?”

“i’m fine,” you say, still processing everything. “you didn’t have to do that.”

“yes, i did,” karina replies, her voice softer now. “and…i’m sorry.”

you blink, caught off guard by the sudden apology. “for what?”

“for making it seem like it’s okay to be mean to you,” she says, her tone unusually sincere. “i didn’t mean for it to go that far.”

you shrug, trying to play it off. “it’s fine. i know you were just messing around.”

“still,” she insists, her eyes meeting yours with an intensity that makes your heart skip a beat. “i don’t want you to feel like that. not because of me.”

you manage a small smile, the warmth in her voice easing the lingering hurt. “thanks.”

karina looks almost relieved, her smile returning in full force. “so, we’re good?”

“we’re good,” you confirm, feeling a strange mix of gratitude.

and as karina sits down next to you, the rest of the girls start joining in.

you’re sitting in the crowded lunch hall, trying to enjoy your chips while listening to giselle talk about some wild party they’re planning. as usual, karina is scrolling through her phone like she’s half-bored, half-amused by everything around her.

you pop another chip into your mouth and crunch loudly, completely unaware of how it sounds in the echoing hall.

“jesus, y/n,” karina suddenly blurts out, her voice louder than necessary and back to her usual self. “could you chew any louder? i’m pretty sure they can hear you in the next building.”

you pause mid-chew, feeling a blush creeping up your neck. “sorry,” you mumble, covering your mouth with your hand. “i didn’t realize it was that bad.”

she rolls her eyes, but there’s a hint of a grin tugging at her lips. “you sound like a woodchipper. it’s a miracle i’m still sitting next to you.”

“you could always move,” you say, trying to sound unfazed.

“nah,” she replies, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms. “someone’s gotta keep an eye on you, make sure you don’t choke on those chips.”

you catch the faintest smirk on her face, and despite her words, you can’t help but smile. “you’re all heart, karina.”

she shrugs, pretending not to care. “you’re lucky i like charity cases.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

one day, karina manages to pull you out of your room and invites you over at the campus skate park. she’s doing tricks on her board like it’s the most natural thing in the world. you, on the other hand, are struggling just to stand on the board without wobbling like a newborn deer.

“come on, y/n,” she taunts, skating over to you with a smirk. “it’s not that hard. just balance, push off, and roll. even a baby can handle that.”

“easy for you to say,” you mutter, trying not to fall over.

she rolls her eyes but skates closer, reaching out to steady you. “here, let me show you. put one foot here, and the other here,” she instructs, positioning your feet.

you follow her instructions, but as soon as you try to push off, you lose your balance and crash to the ground with a loud thud.

her teasing expression instantly shifts to one of panic, her eyes wide as she crouches down next to you. “oh my god, are you okay? did you break anything?”

“just my dignity,” you groan, rubbing your sore butt.

“idiot,” she mutters, but there’s no heat in her voice. she offers you a hand, pulling you back up with surprising gentleness. “you scared me, you know.”

“didn’t think you cared,” you tease, but there’s a warmth in your chest at her reaction.

“well, someone’s gotta keep you from killing yourself,” she says, her tone gruff but her grip lingering on your arm a bit longer than necessary. “just…try not to die, okay? i’m not ready to be a witness to your embarrassing end.”

“don’t worry,” you reply with a grin. “i’ll keep falling just to see that worried look on your face.”

she scoffs, but there’s no hiding the small smile that creeps across her lips. “you’re impossible.”

“and you’re mean,” you say, but there’s no real bite behind it.

“yeah, well,” she says, stepping back onto her board. “i only pick on the ones i like, loser.”

you watch as she skates away, your heart doing an odd little flip.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

it’s a rare moment of downtime in aespa’s usual whirlwind of rehearsals and chaos. the four of them are lounging in the practice room, sipping on energy drinks and half-heartedly tuning their instruments. giselle’s strumming random chords on her guitar, winter’s scrolling through her phone, and ningning’s lounging on the floor, doing absolutely nothing.

karina’s leaning against the wall, her eyes distant and her expression unusually serious. she’s been quieter than usual lately, and it hasn’t gone unnoticed by the others.

“yo karina,” giselle suddenly says, breaking the silence. “what’s up your ass? you’re freaking me out.”

“nothing,” karina replies quickly, a little too quickly.

“oh, please,” winter scoffs, looking up from her phone. “this is about y/n, isn’t it?”

karina’s face stiffens, and she tries to play it off with an eye roll. “why would it be about her?”

“uh, maybe because you’ve been obsessed with her for weeks?” ningning chimes in, smirking. “seriously, the way you look at her, it’s like you’re trying to set her on fire with your eyes.”

karina’s cheeks flush slightly, but she keeps her expression neutral. “i just think she’s funny, that’s all.”

“sure,” giselle says, drawing out the word like she’s speaking to a child. “and i think jacob elordi is funny too.”

she glares at her, but it’s half-hearted. “you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“oh, come on,” ningning continues, sitting up and crossing her legs. “it’s obvious you like her. the teasing, the constant calling her a loser, that thing where you get all weirdly protective of her? classic crush behavior.”

karina scowls, hating how transparent she apparently is. “she’s interesting.”

“interesting, huh?” winter teases, raising an eyebrow. “interesting enough to make you lose your cool every time she’s around.”

“whatever,” she mutters, turning away slightly. but her attempt at indifference only makes the others laugh harder.

“you know, y/n’s actually not bad-looking,” ningning comments casually. “she’s kind of cute in that nerdy way.”

“if she cut her hair a little and maybe wore something that wasn’t a hoodie three sizes too big,” giselle adds, grinning, “she’d probably have all the girls swooning.”

karina’s jaw tightens at that, her mood shifting from defensive to something closer to possessive. “she doesn’t need to change anything,” she says flatly.

“ohhh,” winter coos, catching the change in her tone. “you know, i actually heard a couple of girls in my class talking about how cute y/n is. one of them even said she’d ask her out if she got the chance.”

“what?” karina snaps, her eyes narrowing. “who said that?”

winter grins, delighted by karina’s reaction. “oh, i don’t know. just some girls, but they sounded pretty serious.”

karina stands up abruptly, her whole body tense. “which class is this?”

“whoa, chill,” giselle laughs, her eyes wide with amusement. “you’re not actually jealous, are you?”

her expression is a mix of annoyance and something deeper. “i just don’t like the idea of people trying to mess with her, that’s all.”

“sure,” ningning says, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “and i’m sure this sudden urge to go find her has nothing to do with jealousy.”

“whatever,” karina mutters again, already heading for the door. “i’ll be back.”

“where are you going?” winter calls after her, though she’s pretty sure she knows the answer.

“to make sure y/n’s okay,” karina replies over her shoulder, her voice leaving no room for argument.

the other members burst into laughter as she disappears down the hall, clearly unable to resist the pull she feels toward you.

she makes her way to the building where she knows your class is held. she doesn’t exactly know which room you’re in, but that doesn’t stop her from pacing the hallway, her eyes darting to every door like she’s on a mission.

she leans against the wall, trying to play it cool, but her mind is racing. the thought of someone else being interested in you makes her blood boil in a way she doesn’t fully understand. it’s not like she’s made her own intentions clear, but the idea of you with someone else, it just doesn’t sit right.

she waits outside the classroom building for what feels like an eternity, her patience wearing thin. students start filtering out, and karina’s eyes scan each face, looking for you. she feels a strange mix of anticipation and anxiety, and she hates it.

finally, she spots you. you’re walking out with your head down, clutching a book to your chest. when you look up and see karina, your eyes widen in surprise.

“karina?” you ask, stopping in your tracks. “what are you doing here?”

she shrugs, trying to act casual despite the fact that she’s clearly been waiting for you. “just passing by.”

“really?” you ask, raising an eyebrow. “you’re ‘just passing by’ outside my class?”

karina scratches the back of her neck, looking uncharacteristically awkward. “maybe i wanted to make sure you weren’t gonna trip over on the way to your next class.”

“are you serious?”

her expression shifts slightly, her usual confidence faltering. “maybe.”

you can’t help but smile, a mixture of disbelief and amusement on your face. “you’re unbelievable, you know that?”

“i know, i’ll walk you to your class anyways.

and for the first time, there’s no teasing, no sarcasm, just a moment of comfortable silence between the two of you.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

it’s a lazy afternoon, and you and karina are sitting on the floor of your dorm, legs stretched out as you dive into a bag of cheetos.

yunjin left the room to run errands, leaving you and karina in rare company. she came over to drop something off to yunjin, band stuff they said, even though your roommate could not be in one for the life of her.

“these are so good,” you mumble, licking the orange dust off your fingers as you looked at the screen in front of you.

karina watches you with an expression that’s equal parts disgusted and fascinated. “you’re a mess,” she comments, her tone as dry as ever.

“thanks,” you reply cheerfully, taking another handful of cheetos. but as you reach for your drink, you accidentally brush karina’s arm with your cheetos-stained fingers.

she flinches dramatically, her eyes wide. “oh my god, you did not just touch me with those filthy fingers.”

you stare at her, half-amused, half-embarrassed. “oh, come on. it’s not like it’s toxic waste.”

“might as well be,” she snaps, though there’s a glint of amusement in her eyes. “look at what you did!” she adds, pointing at the faint cheeto dust now smeared on her porcelain skin.

“sorry,” you laugh, grabbing a tissue and trying to wipe it off, only for karina to pull back like you’re trying to brand her.

“don’t touch me!”

“you’re such a drama queen,” you say, still laughing.

she scowls, but there’s no real anger behind it. “one of these days, you’re going to have to find someone else to hang out with.”

“and one of these days, you’re gonna admit you like hanging out with me, cheetos fingers and all,” you retort.

“don’t push your lock, loser,” her eyes narrow, but she can’t hide the small smile tugging at her lips. “come to our gig this weekend, please?”

you shook your head - unfortunately, you had plans. “i can’t, i promised mina i’d join her party tonight.”

and within a second, karina inches closer towards you — burning holes through your face. “mina? party? what?”

“oh, not that kind of party,” you don’t pick up on the way her tone changes. “it’s a chat party, we’re gonna play games all night and —“

“who is this mina?”

“she’s from japan, really cool and she sings too, sometimes she sends me legos from japan.”

“no, you’re coming to our gig,” she shakes her head, not wanting to hear another girl’s name coming out of your mouth. “and that’s final, yes?”

“yes, okay,” the directness catches you off guard but it doesn’t take long to convince you, specially if karina and her dirty stares are involved. plus, you could always join mina’s party later on.

a strange mix of emotions start brewing in your stomach — guilt, excitement and something you can’t quite name. you’ve never been good at reading people, and with karina, everything feels even more complicated. you’ve never liked anyone before, not like this, and the whole thing is so new, so raw. you don’t know if her insistence is just about wanting you in the crowd, or if it means something more.

you’re still trying to process it when karina stands up, stretching lazily. “i should probably get going,” she says, grabbing her jacket from the back of the couch. “ningning’s angry spamming me, i’m late to practice.”

“yeah,” you reply, watching her as she heads for the door. “have fun.”

“can i come over again later?”

you smile, feeling a heap of butterflies down your stomach. “anytime.”

she gives you one last, lingering look before she leaves, and you’re left alone in the suddenly too-quiet space, your mind racing with questions you don’t know how to answer as you head back to your room and turn your console on.

yunjin returns a while later, looking a bit worn out but still cheerful. “hey, i’m back,” she calls, tossing her keys on the table before popping her head in your room. “did i miss anything?”

you hesitate for a moment, then decide to just spill it. “karina invited me to their gig this weekend.”

her eyebrows shoot up. “and? are you going?”

“yeah,” you admit, feeling a mix of excitement and confusion. “she was really keen about it.”

she studies you for a moment, then sits down next to you, her expression serious. “what’s going on, y/n?”

“i just don’t get her,” you confess, your voice barely above a whisper. “one minute she’s mean, the next she’s nice. and now she’s acting all weird about me going to her gig. and she comes here to hang out with me but i know she’s a heartbreaker and i don’t want —“

“she likes you,” yunjin cuts you off bluntly, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“but what does that even mean?” you ask, feeling a surge of frustration. “i’ve never…don’t know how to deal with this. why?”

“it means she wants you there because she cares about you,” she explains patiently. “you know you’re a catch right? she even gets jealous when other girls are around you.”

“jealous?” you repeat, the word feeling foreign in this context.

“yes, jealous,” yunjin confirms, nodding. “karina’s not used to feeling like she’s not the center of someone’s attention, especially yours.”

you let out a sigh, your shoulders slumping. “this is all so confusing. i’ve never liked anyone before. i don’t know what to do.”

“you don’t have to do anything,” yunjin reassures you, her voice gentle. “just be honest with yourself. if you like her, let yourself like her. don’t overthink it.”

“easier said than done,” you mutter.

“i know,” yunjin agrees, her expression sympathetic. “but maybe this is one of those things you have to figure out as you go.”

you nod slowly, feeling a small sense of comfort in her words. “yeah, maybe.”

and as you sit there, replaying the conversation with karina in your mind, you realise that yunjin might be right. maybe this is something you have to navigate one step at a time, no matter how uncertain it feels. because despite everything, one thing is clear: you want to be there, even if you’re not entirely sure what it means.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

the weekend arrives faster than you expect, and soon enough, you’re standing outside the venue for aespa’s gig. the usual nerves are there, made worse by the fact that this time, karina explicitly asked you to be here. yunjin’s with you, chatting excitedly about the show as you both head inside. your mind is elsewhere, tangled up in all the uncertainty that karina’s invitation has stirred up.

“you okay?” yunjin asks, nudging your shoulder as you both make your way to the backstage area.

“yeah,” you lie, forcing a smile. “nervous, i guess.”

“don’t worry,” she reassures you. “it’s gonna be fun, at least you’re finally with me instead of that musty corner.”

you try to take her words to heart, but as you step backstage, a new wave of anxiety hits. the chaotic energy of the crew prepping for the show is overwhelming, and you can’t seem to spot karina anywhere.

“she’s probably getting ready,” yunjin suggests, noticing your fidgeting.

“maybe,” you mutter, but something feels off.

you’ve been backstage before, but never like this. tonight, it’s different because you know karina specifically wants you here, which only makes her absence feel sharper.

after a few more minutes pass and there’s still no sign of karina, you make a decision. “i’m gonna go look for her,” you tell the girls.

“want me to come with?” winter asks.

you shake your head. “no, it’s fine. i’ll be quick.”

you wander through the backstage area, dodging equipment and crew members as you make your way toward the quieter sections.

that’s when you spot them: karina, standing in a dark corner with another girl, their heads close together.

a sinking feeling forma in your chest. something about the way they’re standing feels too intimate, like you’re intruding on a private moment. you can’t make out their conversation, but then you hear your name.

“y/n? really?” the girl scoffs, her voice dripping with disdain. “you’re actually interested in that loser?”

you recognise the voice now — it’s soyeon, karina’s ex. the one you’d seen flirting with karina before, she was the ex.

karina’s voice is low, almost defensive. “she’s not a loser.”

“could’ve fooled me,” soyeon replies, her tone harsh. “come on, karina, you know she’s just a rebound.”

you feel your face flush, a mix of anger and humiliation burning in your chest. part of you wants to step forward, to confront them both, but your feet feel like they’re stuck to the ground.

then, suddenly, soyeon closes the gap between them, her lips crashing against karina’s. for a moment, karina doesn’t pull away. instead, she seems to hesitate, caught between resisting and giving in.

that’s all it takes for you to turn and leave, your heart pounding in your chest. you push your way through the backstage crowd, barely registering yunjin calling after you. everything feels like a blur, like the world has tilted sideways and you’re the only one struggling to stay upright.

you’re back at your dorm before you even know how you got there. you slump onto your bed, trying to make sense of what you just saw. your emotions are a confusing mess of hurt, anger, and a crushing sense of betrayal.

all the uncertainty you’d been feeling, all the questions you’d tried to answer, now feel pointless.

you’re not sure how much time passes, mina and some of your friends are on the other end of the screen, but then there’s a loud knock at the door.

“y/n! open up!”

it’s karina’s voice, and she sounds angry.

“damn y/n,” mina chuckles. “who did you piss off?”

you hesitate for a moment, but then you get up and open the door. “i’ll be back guys, won’t be long,” you hear a bunch of ‘ooooh’s’ from them before pause.

your expression is blank when you open the door — karina storms in, her face flushed and her eyes filled with anger.

“why did you not show up?” she demands, her voice sharp. “i told you i wanted you there!”

“yeah, well,” you say, your voice colder than you intended. “i had a good reason.”

she frowns, clearly confused. “what are you talking about?”

“i saw you,” you snap, the words tumbling out before you can stop them. “back there, with soyeon. i heard what she said, and then you kissed her.”

her eyes widen, and for a moment, she looks genuinely shocked. “wait, you were there?”

“obviously,” you say bitterly, crossing your arms. “or do you just make out with your ex in front of your toys at every gig?”

karina’s face hardens, her anger replaced by a mix of guilt and frustration. “it wasn’t like that.”

“oh, really?” you challenge. “because it sure looked like that from where i was standing.”

“she came onto me,” karina insists, her voice desperate now. “i didn’t want it, y/n. you have to believe me, you mean so much more to me than you think.”

“i don’t have to do anything,” you say, feeling a surge of hurt rise up again. “you asked me to come, and then you turned around and kissed her. how am i supposed to believe anything you say?”

she runs a hand through her hair, her frustration evident. “it was a mistake, okay? i was just caught off guard.”

“well, congratulations,” you say, your voice breaking slightly. “you definitely caught me off guard too.”

“please, y/n, you have to understand. i didn’t mean for any of this to happen,” she takes a step closer, her expression pleading.

“it’s my fault for believing something.”

“what are you saying?” she asks, her voice almost panicked. “i do like you, way much more than i’d like to admit.”

“i don’t know if i can do this,” you admit, your chest tightening with the words. “i don’t know how to deal with all of this — specially not when you’re like this.”

karina’s face crumples slightly, but she tries to hold it together. “y/n, i’m sorry. i really am. i don’t know why i did it. maybe it’s because i’m a mess, but i don’t want to lose you.”

“you might have already,” you say, feeling tears prickling at the corners of your eyes, but refusing to let them fall.

“don’t say that,” she whispers, her voice filled with a kind of desperation you’ve never heard before.

you take a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. “i need time, karina. i need to figure out what this means for me.”

her expression softens, and she nods slowly. “okay. i’ll give you time. just don’t shut me out completely, please.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

the days after the argument are rough, to say the least. you do everything you can to avoid karina —ducking into classrooms when you spot her in the hallway, sitting at different lunch tables, even changing your usual route to class.

the hurt and confusion from that night still linger, like a bruise that refuses to heal. you thought seeing her with soyeon would make things clearer, that it’d help you move on, but instead it’s just left you feeling hollow.

karina tries to reach out, of course. you get texts, missed calls, and the occasional knock on your dorm door that you pointedly ignore. the messages range from desperate pleas to frustrated demands, but you’re too tired to engage, too confused to even know where to begin.

“you can’t avoid her forever, you know,” yunjin says one evening as she flops down next to you on the couch.

“i’m doing a pretty good job of it so far,” you mumble, keeping your eyes fixed on your phone screen, pretending to be engrossed in bitlife.

“seriously, y/n,” she continues, her tone more concerned now. “you need to talk to her. she’s been a wreck.”

“oh, so now i’m supposed to feel bad for her?” you snap, the words more bitter than you intended.

she sighs, rubbing her temples. “no, but shutting her out completely isn’t going to fix anything. i know you’re hurt, and you have every right to be, but maybe there’s more to this than you realise.”

“more?” you ask incredulously. “like what? she kissed her ex. right after telling me she wanted me at the gig.”

“i get it, but people make mistakes. and from what the others told me, karina really does care about you and she’s really trying to show it.”

“well, she’s doing a great job of showing the opposite,” you snap, leaning back into the couch.

“you need to hear her out,” she insists. “even if it’s just to get closure.”

“yeah, maybe.”

the next day, you’re in the middle of a study session in the library when giselle, winter and ningning appear, sliding into the chairs across from you. you glance up, already dreading what’s coming.

“we need to talk,” ningning says, her voice gentle but firm.

you sigh, closing your textbook. “if this is about karina, i don’t want to hear it.”

“too bad,” giselle replies, folding her arms. “because we’re not here for your approval. we’re here to make you face reality.”

you glare at her, but there’s no real anger behind it, just exhaustion. “and what’s reality, exactly?”

“reality is that karina’s a mess without you,” winter speaks, her eyes sincere. “she’s been snapping at everyone, barely talking to us. it’s like she doesn’t know how to function.”

“and you think that’s my problem?” you ask, trying to sound indifferent.

“yes,” giselle answers bluntly. “because whether you want to admit it or not, you care about her.”

“i don’t know if i do anymore,” you confess, your voice small.

“you do,” winter says softly. “and she knows she messed up. she’s trying to fix it, but she can’t if you won’t even talk to her.”

you feel a pang of guilt at their words, but the hurt from seeing karina and soyeon still lingers, like a wound that hasn’t scabbed over yet. “i don’t know if i can forgive her.”

“no one’s saying you have to forgive her right away,” ningnint replies, her tone surprisingly gentle. “talk to her. let her explain.”

later that night, you’re alone in your room, staring at your phone. karina’s last text is still on the screen: “please, y/n. just talk to me. i miss you.”

you close your eyes, trying to fight the urge to respond. everything about this situation feels messy and complicated, and you hate it. you’ve never felt this way about anyone before, and you don’t know how to navigate it. the push and pull of your emotions is exhausting, and you’re torn between wanting to hear her out and wanting to protect yourself from more hurt.

as you sit there, you hear yunjin’s words echoing in your head: “you need to hear her out, even if it’s just to get closure.”

you let out a frustrated sigh, tossing your phone onto the bed. you know she’s right, and deep down, you know that ignoring karina isn’t going to make the pain go away.

the next morning, you wake up with a sense of determination you haven’t felt in days. you’re not sure if you’re ready to forgive karina, but you know you can’t keep running from her either.

you spend most of the day debating when and where you’ll finally confront karina. your nerves are on edge, your thoughts a jumbled mess of everything you want to say, but also everything you’re afraid to admit.

after your last class, you find yourself making your way toward the music building. it’s the only place you’re sure karina will be — probably rehearsing with the others, maybe alone. the whole walk there, your heart hammers in your chest, and you can’t stop fidgeting with the strap of your bag.

you’ve rehearsed a thousand things to say in your head, but as you approach the familiar practice room, your mind goes blank. for a brief moment, you consider turning around and leaving. but before you can talk yourself out of it, the door swings open.

karina stands there, her eyes widening in surprise. for a second, neither of you speaks.

“y/n,” she breathes, her voice barely above a whisper.

you swallow, trying to keep your voice steady. “can we talk?”

“yeah,” she says immediately, stepping aside to let you in. the room is empty, dimly lit, and filled with the lingering sound of guitar chords from earlier practice.

you both take a seat on the edge of the small stage, the air heavy with tension. karina’s gaze is cautious, like she’s afraid of making the wrong move.

“i know i don’t have the right to ask anything from you,” she starts, her voice low and raw. “but i really need you to hear me out.”

you nod slowly, bracing yourself for whatever she’s about to say.

“that night,” she continues, her eyes filled with regret, “i messed up. i let soyeon get too close, and i didn’t stop her soon enough. but i swear, y/n, it didn’t mean anything. it was a stupid moment of weakness.”

you feel a twinge of hurt, but you try to stay composed. “then why didn’t you pull away sooner?”

she looks down, as if the weight of your question is too much to bear. “i don’t know,” she admits, her voice breaking slightly. “maybe it’s because i was scared of how real things were getting with you. or maybe it’s because i’ve always been too good at sabotaging anything good in my life.”

“so, what am i supposed to do?” you ask, feeling a mix of frustration and vulnerability. “just pretend it never happened?”

“no,” karina says quickly, shaking her head. “i don’t expect that. i want you to know that you’re not just another person to me. you’re not a rebound, and you’re not a distraction.”

you take a deep breath, trying to process her words. “then what am i, karina? because honestly, i have no idea where i stand with you.”

her eyes soften, voice quieter than before. “you’re the first person who’s made me want to try. really try. and that scares the hell out of me, but i don’t want to lose you.”

you sit there for a moment, the words hanging heavy in the air. this whole situation is still new, still confusing, but her sincerity feels more genuine than anything you’ve felt from her before.

“i’m scared too,” you finally admit, your voice barely audible. “i don’t know how to do this, karina. i’ve never liked anyone before. not like this.”

her expression softens further, and she reaches out hesitantly, her hand stopping just short of yours. “we don’t have to figure it all out right now. i just want to be honest with you. and if you’re willing to give me another chance, i promise i’ll do better.”

“okay,” you say quietly, finally meeting her gaze. “one chance, karina. that’s all you get.”

her eyes light up with a mix of relief and something else, something that looks a lot like hope. “i won’t mess it up. i swear.”

you manage a small smile, feeling a tiny weight lift from your chest. “we’ll see.”

the days that follow are tentative, filled with awkward moments and intimate conversations. karina is different now — not softer, exactly, but more attentive. she tries to be less mean in her teasing, though the familiar edge still slips out sometimes.

“nice shoes,” she says one morning as you’re both walking to class. “you finally decide to wear something that doesn’t look like it came from a dumpster?”

you roll your eyes, but there’s no real bite in her words anymore. “you’re still terrible at compliments.”

“working on it,” she admits with a smile.

the rest of the girls notice the shift too, specially yunjin, who seems pleased with the progress.

“told you it’d work out,” she says one evening as you both sit in your dorm, watching another episode of the witcher.

“we’re not exactly there yet,” you warn, but there’s a small smile on your lips.

“well, you’re getting there,” yunjin replies confidently. “and that’s enough for now.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

then comes another gig, this time with less anxiety and more anticipation. you’re backstage again, but this time, karina finds you before the show starts.

“you came,” she says, a genuine smile breaking across her face.

“of course i did,” you reply, feeling a warmth spread through your chest. “i said i’d give you a chance, didn’t i?”

her eyes soften, and she reaches out, brushing a strand of hair from your face. “and i’m not wasting it.” as she heads for the stage, she throws a glance over her shoulder. “stay close this time.”

when the music starts, you find yourself smiling, the weight of the past few weeks finally beginning to lift. you don’t have all the answers yet, but for now, just being here feels like enough.

the end.

[xiaq]

Did you ever work in customer service? You give off been-in-the-trenches-and-are-better-for-it vibes.

Hi, this is slightly unhinged, but thank you!!

Now you're going to get the story of how I was offered a job on the spot for the first ever position I ever interviewed for (which was, indeed, customer service).

Okay, so, I'm 15, my birthday is in two days, and HEB (Texas grocery store) is hiring baggers for $7 an hour and cashiers for a whole whopping $10 an hour. Cashiers have to have prior experience OR have to work as a bagger for a year first. But I am full of teenage verve and I want that cashier position. I want it now.

I show up on my motorcycle, so I'm in my "professional" outfit but carrying my helmet when I enter the hiring manager's office, which really sets the tone for how things proceed.

The interviewer is like, "how old are you?" and babyface mcgee me, five foot tall and all of 90lbs says, "Fifteen. But I'm sixteen in two days."

And he's like, "...we can't hire you if you're fifteen."

And I'm like, "bet, but you can get the paperwork started now, yeah?"

And he says, "wait, how did you drive a motorcycle here if you're 15?"

So the first 5 minutes of the interview turn into me showing him my license, explaining DMV rules re 15-yr-olds and permitted engine size for motorcycles and pointing out my bike in the parking lot.

"Okay," he says, clearly trying to rally. "So you have a method of transportation, that's great, but we can't consider you for the cashier job if you don't have experience. We can only consider you as a bagger."

I'm prepared for this. I lay out my most recent report card, as well as copies of the sports and academic awards I've achieved in the last year. I give my "I'm a fast learner, I'm a hard worker, and you'll benefit more from me working as a cashier, interacting with customers, than a bagger" speech. I've been buying groceries at this store my whole life, so I know that cashiers are ranked by how many 'Item of the Week' they manage to hawk at checkout (typically batteries or soda or chips). "I'll be top of the ranking for Item of the week, just you wait."

I think he is reluctantly charmed by my bull-headedness. "Okay,” he says, reaching for the can of coke on his desk. "Fine. Sell this to me, then. Right now."

This man is mid-forties. He has bad handmade artwork hung up on his office wall.

"Do you have kids?" I ask, already knowing the answer.

"Two," he says. "Boy and a girl. The girl is just a year younger than you, actually."

"Ah," I say, "is it getting harder and harder to connect with her? Monosyllabic answers? Spends all her time in her room."

"...yes," he says.

“I was the same,” I say somberly. “Until, one afternoon, my dad came into my room and handed me a Coke.”

I tap my fingers on the Coke in front of me.

“He told me to come share a drink with him while he grilled on the back porch and that once I’d finished my Coke I could crawl, hissing, back to my room, but he wanted company until then. And see, I did, actually, want to spend time with my dad. I just didn’t know how to initiate it, and my teenage hormones made it difficult for me to express that. So I took the Coke and stomped my way outside but once I was there, I drank it slowly. And I answered his questions about school and cheerleading and asked him about work and we planned a weekend father-daughter motorcycle trip into the hill country. And ever since then, every few days, he’ll come to my room and offer me a Coke, and I’ll spend half an hour drinking it in his company.”

I slide the coke across the desk to him. “Might be an approach to try with your daughter, what do you think?”

He catches the Coke automatically. He sighs.

"Yeah, alright," he says. "Cashier job is yours. Come back in two days when you're actually sixteen and we'll get your paperwork sorted out." I worked there for the rest of high school and I was, typically, top of the rankings for selling Items of the Week the entire duration.

Entirely unrelated, I hate coke. I don’t drink soda, and the only beverage my dad has ever shared with me on the back porch is a margarita. But he didn’t need to know that.

[hotshotsxyz]

“You know me better than anyone. You always have.” for the prompts if it sparks!

(buddie) (788 words) i still have so many of these prompts left lmao, hope you like this one!

“I’m fine,” Buck says, and to his genuine surprise, he really means it.

Eddie raises an eyebrow. Rude, but fair. “You’re fine,” he echoes, flat and disbelieving.

Buck shrugs. “Yeah, man, I don’t know what to tell you.”

Eddie blinks a few times. “Is this what denial looks like? I think this might be what denial looks like.”

“Denial is a river in Egypt,” Buck replies cheerfully.

Eddie snorts. “I don’t think that’s how that saying goes.”

“Maybe not,” Buck allows. “Still fine, though.”

“Uh-huh,” Eddie says.

“I am!” Buck protests. “I’ll prove it. Ask me what happened.”

Eddie heaves a sigh and stands. “I’m getting a beer. Do you want a beer?”

“I mean, yeah, but not if it's a pity beer,” Buck calls after him.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Eddie tosses over his shoulder.

He comes back with a bottle of Buck’s favorite sour, which is ridiculous because the only place that sells it is a full thirty minutes farther than the closest grocery store. It’s absolutely a pity beer.

“Eddie!” Buck exclaims.

He feigns innocence. “I already had it!”

Buck narrows his eyes and takes the bottle from Eddie. “I’m choosing to believe you, but only because I really don’t want one of your godawful IPAs.”

Eddie rolls his eyes and settles back on the couch beside him. “If that’s what it takes,” he says.

“You’re supposed to be nice to me,” Buck says accusingly.

“I am nice to you,” Eddie says. He leans his head against the back of the couch and rolls it lazily to the side to look at Buck directly. “I’ll be nicer if you can find an adjective other that ‘fine’ to describe your current state of being.”

Buck blows a soft breath out through his nose. “I’m good, Eds, I promise.”

“I just—you were more broken up about Natalia,” Eddie says softly. “Why are you so okay with this?”

And that—that is the sixty-four thousand dollar question, isn’t it? Because Buck is fine. He’s not emotionless, but nothing he’s feeling is particularly painful or consuming. Being with Tommy was good and fun and nice, but breaking up with him didn’t feel like some terrible ending. It felt like finishing a chapter in a book that you can’t put down and staying up late because you just can’t wait to start the next one. He’s never really felt like that before.

“Honestly? I don’t know. I just am. You know me better than anyone. You always have. Why don’t you tell me?”

Eddie huffs a soft laugh. “Contrary to the beliefs of our friends and coworkers, I can’t actually read your mind, Buck.”

“I don’t know,” Buck teases, “I think you probably could if you tried.”

“Sure,” Eddie says. “Think of a number between one and ten.”

Eleven, Buck thinks, just to be an asshole. He grins at Eddie, who stares at him in mock concentration.

Eddie narrows his eyes. “Stop cheating,” he says.

Buck bursts out laughing. “See? Knew you were a little bit psychic.”

“More like fluent in Buck,” Eddie snarks back.

He feels soft and loose, and it hits him that this is what he’d never quite had with Tommy. They were never as in sync as he is with Eddie. He’s never felt so comfortable, so known as he does when he’s here. It’s an impossibly high bar to hold a partner to, but—

Buck’s jaw drops.

Eddie’s expression shifts to vaguely concerned confusion. “What?”

“Nothing,” Buck says quickly.

Eddie fixes him with an unimpressed look.

“I just, uh—” Buck stalls, frantically searching for words that haven’t quite coalesced yet in his mind. “Um. I think I—”

Eddie sits up a little straighter. “Buck,” he says, soft and worried. “It’s just me.”

It’s just Eddie. Eddie who knows him. Eddie who sees him. Eddie who makes fun of him and trusts him and treasures the little pieces of him he’s handed over throughout the years. It’s just Eddie.

It’s Eddie, and all at once Buck is realizing that it’s never going to be anyone else.

“I, uh—” Buck tries again. “I have to—I forgot to feed my neighbor’s cat,” he lies, standing so quickly that he bumps the coffee table and nearly knocks over Eddie’s mostly full beer.

Eddie’s brow creases. “Okay,” he says quietly, and Buck doesn’t think for a second he believes him.

“I’m just gonna—I’ll see you tomorrow?” Buck asks desperately.

“Course,” Eddie says.

“Thanks for the—bye!” Buck squeaks.

He hightails it out the door and throws himself behind the wheel of his Jeep. Of course he isn’t upset about Tommy. How could he be?

He’s been in love with Eddie the whole fucking time.

[anemhoez]

Otherworldly…

Boothill/AFAB Reader

tags: @bokukenmakuroo

WARNINGS: unprotected sex I GUESS?? he doesn’t ejaculate and its made of fine grade silicone sooo????

A/N: in where Boothill gets a check-up 🤭 ok ok so the recent quest let us know more about him and this has been in the drafts for a while so there will be inaccuracies hehe and alot left to my imagination, yes im a robot fucker HEHE! also please imagine my man with the prettiest most perfect robot dick you’ve ever seen, lord i just know its big…oh also im not a robotics or programming expert but they’re in space and stuff im sure tech like this exists in their world SOMEHOW loll

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

“Hold still, it should only take a few seconds.” you said to Boothill as he fidgeted under your touch. “I’m ticklish doc,” he said with a sharp toothed smile as you replaced one of the many sensory devices on the metal skin at his shoulder.

“The famous interstellar galaxy ranger being subdued by a bit of tickling? Don’t let your enemies find out.” Once finished, you reattached the cover and made sure it was flush with the other metal parts of his body. He truly was a technological marvel, sleek and efficient with not one line of code or piece of hardware going to waste. You considered yourself lucky to be his technician, a job offer you were pleasantly surprised by.

“You think I’ve got enemies?” he asked with sincerity, not believing that there were people out there who actually didn’t like him, or even targeted him. “I’ve seen the reports Boot.” you quickly pulled up a program on the screen in front of you to begin configuring the new sensor.

“Thats all…alternative facts, darlin.” you simply rolled your eyes and input some commands, ignoring his silly statement. “You say your synesthesia beacon was hacked?” you asked for reassurance, not once looking away from the screen and you heard as he sucked his teeth behind you.

“It sure forkin’ was, you think you can fix it?” You knew you were a great technician, fantastic even. But taking down an IPC virus? That was something you’d need a few days to crack. “I can try,” you cocked your head to the side, your statement causing him to jump up off the examination table in excitement.

“But aside from that and the sensor malfunction, is there anything else you need looking at?” you asked as you typed quickly. “You might as well get everything looked at before you head back out.” He stayed quiet though, not answering your question but instead turning away from you.

“Boothill?” you asked turning to him, realizing he was awfully quiet for someone who just jumped up for joy. He rubbed the back of his neck, “We have, doctor and patient confidentiality right?” he asked in a low gravely voice, as if someone would be able to hear him outside of your workshop.

“Dammit boothill! I’m a mechanic not a doctor!” you exclaimed absolutely sick of him calling you by a title you didn’t have credentials for. “So no we don’t but,” you stood up and walked over to him, turning his body around in a circle looking him over to see if it was something visible on him you could fix right away. “I’m not going to go around and talk about it if that’s what you mean.”

You placed a hand on your hip, “I may not look it cause I’m usually covered in grease and keep my workshop a mess, but I do consider myself a professional you know.” he sighed and looked at you, “Of course you are! You’re one of the best machinists I’ve ever had, it’s just. Aw fudge how do I even say this?!”

He resigned himself to feeling foolish for the worries he had. “I’m uh, having trouble with…intimacy.” he finally said, meeting your eyes. “Well, I’m also not a match maker so…” you looked at him with an eyebrow raised. He sighed and held his head in his hands, “Finding a partner isn’t the issue, it’s when I’m with someone. I can’t really feel it, you understand?”

You tried to picture it in your mind. Could cyborgs even achieve an orgasm? And even if they could, could they ejaculate? The scholar in you was fascinated, but the friend and professional in you was ready to help in any way you could.

You grabbed a tool from your bench quickly and headed back towards him. “Drop ‘em.” you said matter of factly pointing to his pants and he clutched his groin in reaction to you. “You fudgin’ joking? Wait, come on now-“ he stuttered through his words as a blush formed on his face. “Boot, do you want me to help you or not?” you crossed your arms, “It’s nothing I haven’t seen before, you can trust me.”

He had never had someone besides the technician who affixed his broken body to metal even look down there. He hesitated but given just how important this was to him, he sighed and dropped his trousers after undoing his belt. His cock was…to say the least…impressive. It even bobbed and twitched in a way similar to that of a person made of flesh and bone. Upon seeing it through the eyes of a machinist however, you started to notice just how intricately crafted it was.

“Aeons, just what exactly were they thinking with detail like this?” you asked with a small giggle before taking his appendage in your hand and detaching it from his body. “I’m not a love machine, if that’s what you’re insinuating sweetheart.” He explained almost immediately, as if it’s something that needed defending. He shuffled back into his pants, “This iron body of mine was made for combat, and revenge.” You shrugged playfully and raised an eyebrow, “So you didn’t ask them for this cock then?” you joked, holding it in your hand and testing its weight. “Alright, alright just…see what you can do?” He huffed and pulled his hat down over his eyes in embarrassment.

You began disassembling the object, looking for any visible damage. “You keeping it clean and oiled?” you ask and he just sighs, “This is so embarrassing but yes. I perform regular maintenance on myself weekly.”

“Only weekly?” you teased and he rolled his eyes, “Okay okay, I’ll stop.” you reassembled everything and took the device over to your computer, plugging a wire into the hidden port you found

“Let’s see what…oh wow!” you yelped as you examined the device’s programming. “What an interesting piece of tech!” you said with a smile. Now you were the one blushing. “What?” he said and came over to examine the code with you, only seeing an unfamiliar mess of text. “Is it broken?!”

You input a commend into the terminal and the appendage began thrusting on its own. “Quite the opposite actually, did you know it had this many modes?” You typed away and the device now vibrated so violently it rolled off of the desk and onto the floor. “I should’ve guessed what extreme vibration meant.” you picked it up and held it with both hands.

For some reason, seeing you holding it like you were about to jerk it off made him stare. “No I didn’t, but that’s not the issue I’m having. I’m having trouble really feeling, if you catch my drift?” he said and looked away again while coughing awkwardly.

“You mean having an orgasm?” You placed the metallic phallus on the desk with a loud thud. “I can check if you have any software updates, and maybe come up with something of my own.” you turned to him, “If you don’t mind leaving it here with me to tinker with it.” you said with a playful smirk. That was all he needed to hear as he turned to head out, “I’ve never been without it for long so, just be gentle okay?” he said as he headed out. You immediately turned towards him, “Hey! Just what do you think I’m gonna do with it?!”

************

You had stayed up late the past couple of nights, modding the mechanical cock. If your professor had told you all those years ago in university that you’d be working on an interstellar cowboy’s robotic dick, you probably would’ve screamed. But here you were, losing sleep to help a client yet again. You had reviewed so many lines of code that you were even seeing it whenever you closed your eyes.

“Warming mode?” you whispered to yourself and looked over at the cock half expecting it to shoot off into the ceiling, but nothing happened. You reached out and grabbed it, feeling a light warmth to it. “Oh!” you said out loud as you held it with both hands, the warm appendage oddly soothing in your grip. You rubbed the smooth artificial skin, gunmetal gray in color and detailed with thick veins. The smoothness of it was thanks to the layer of silicone skin that felt so much like the real thing it almost scared you. Not to heavy, but not too light either, almost the perfect weight and girth. A devious fleeting thought flashed in your mind, of how it could possibly feel inside of you.

You shook the thoughts from your head immediately and put it down, finally turning off your computer and heading to bed to get the rest you so desperately needed.

************

Boothill arrived a few days later in much better spirits. “Well? How’s my pecker?” he said loudly with his arms out as he walked over to you. You shook your head and grabbed a tool to reattach it to him. “This thing’s a monster.” you said tiredly and helped him with his pants once the device was back on his body. You observed how he adjusted himself in his pants, he was no different from someone with an actual dick in that regard either. Another one of those debaucherous thoughts came to your mind as you looked him up an down. Thats when you realized just how fucking attractive he was.

“Anyway, I adjusted some things so you don’t accidentally kill anyone.” You explained the various functions and modes, telling him the restrictions you put on certain settings so no one would get seriously hurt while fucking him. “Yeah I’d hate to burn someone’s uh, insides.”

“I also wanna see if I can get your beacon working again.” You handed him a wire and he connected it to a port on his neck. You started the download and waited for the hack to work. You looked at the cowboy who was currently smiling at you.

“I can’t thank you enough doc- uh Y/n.,” You smiled back and waved him off, “It was nothing, I’m happy to help.” you started re-organizing your tools as his software updated. “Bet you’re just dying to see if it worked, I don’t mind testing it out right now.” he suggested and took his hat off, placing it on your desk gently. Of course you’d want to know if your tinkering actually worked, but you knew the only way to test it was for him to…well…pleasure himself.

“Sure, you can use the bathroom and test it out. Let me know how it felt, in detail.” you said as a slight heat crept up your body. He looked in the direction of the bathroom, a smile spreading on his lips. “Actually, I was hoping you’d want to test it out, with me?”

His words shot straight to your core, your stomach jumping with sudden anticipation. Your cheeks went flush and you hoped you didn’t look as flustered as you felt. “Are you sure? Wouldn’t that be a little uh, inappropriate?” you put down your tools and turned to look at him. You inched closer and closer, knowing you weren’t about to pass up the offer. After all, it was your duty as a scientist wasn’t it?

He chuckled and started moving closer as well, “What’s so inappropriate about making sure your hard work pays off?” He was but a breath away and reached out to grab your hand and you let him intertwine his fingers with yours, his robotic hand surprisingly gentle. “In all honesty, I thought about it while I was working on…it.” He moaned out loudly, “That’s so fucking hot.” he said, stopping when he realized he finally cursed properly.

“Looks like your beacon is fixed,” you pulled the wire from his neck gently, “Don’t go getting hacked again.” you teased and his hands came to rest on your waist. “You’ll fix me though? Won’t ya?” he leaned in, closing the small gap between you two. You moved to wrap your arms around his neck and mumbled a soft “Yes.” into the kiss as he lifted you up.

He walked the both of you to the workbench that was high enough so that you were perfectly fitted in his embrace. His strong yet gentle hands trailed up your back and under your shirt, his mouth hot on yours as the two of you shared an intense kiss.

You allowed him to pull your shirt off of you, briefly interrupting the kiss. “You’ve got such great control of your mobility module.” you said in praise and he moved in to kiss at the exposed flesh now available to him. His tongue licked a trail along your collar bones to your neck, “Can you, taste? “ He chuckled against your skin as he sucked, parting your legs before pulling away. “Sure can.” he whispered gruffly in your ear before bending down and slotting between your legs.

You hesitated a bit when you saw his sharp teeth, worried about your sensitive skin down there. But as soon as he buried himself into your cunt you threw your head back, letting the pleasure take over and the worries fade.

He moaned, the highly sensitive sensors on his tongue allowing him to fully enjoy your taste. You tugged at his hair, moving it out of his face to get a better look at him. He met your gaze and pulled away, his elongated tongue shrinking down to its regular size impressively.

“And you say you’re not a love machine,” you teased and wrapped your legs around his neck. You wiped at the corner of his mouth and he opened it to suck on your thumb, “Mmh, I can be your love machine,” he said before moving back to work his tongue along your folds. You watched it extend in real time as he dove in deeper inside of you, spreading your legs widers to get his artificial tongue as deep as he could. You felt him so deep inside, an unfamiliar but delicious feeling, making you let out a loud whimper at the intensity of it all.

He snaked his arms around your thighs, pulling you even closer while he pulled up on the skin above your pussy. “Ahh!,” you moaned out and dug your nails into his scalp desperately. The cowboy groaned deeply, lapping up what poured out of you and soon introducing his fingers to fuck you while his mouth sucked hard at your clit.

You could feel yourself coming undone as his nimble fingers curved to find your spot, fingering you hard. You soon cried out as you climaxed, writhing under his touch and clenching down on his fingers as he stood to face you.

You immediately pulled him into a kiss, pulling your bra down to finally expose your breasts to him. His hands came to squeeze the soft flesh and he pulled away, staring at them lovingly as he chuckled. “What’s so funny?” you asked looking at him while you held onto the backs of his mechanical hands as he squeezed. “I’ve just…been wanting to do this for a very, very long time.”

He pulled himself from his pants and began sliding his thick metallic shaft against your wet folds. “Fuck, I can feel how wet you are? I can’t believe it.” You patted yourself on the back mentally for your ingenuity. You moved to take him by the back of his head for another feverish kiss. He held you close, his metal abs and chest surprisingly warm against your skin. The two of you pulled away from each other with a huff after making out for a few minutes.

“You’re a fucking genius.” he praised and held your face in his hands, your face heating up at the compliment. “Thank you,” you breathed deeply and looked down at his cock that was still teasing you, desperately wanting him inside of you. “I’d love to see what else I’ve improved upon,” you said as you laid back down, opening your legs wide for him. Your hands went to your folds where you collected your slick and moved to tease your bud, “And if you’re any better than something I can manufacture on my own.”

You saw a glint in his eyes as he smiled wickedly. He took your hand from your cunt and along with your other hand, he pinned them over your head. He grunted as he finally entered you, his long hair cascading down on either side of his face as he moved in closer to kiss you.

Those thick eight inches of his robotic cock finally plunged into you, deep. You whined, the sensation feeling so familiar to the “real” thing but so much better. He growled and nipped at your bottom lip, all the while pushing in and out of you slowly.

“You curious about the modes? Or do you just want me at default?” he asked as he let go of your hands. “Surprise me.” You pulled him back to your lips and he kissed you roughly before leaning back up and pulling you towards the edge of the bench.

You watched as he lolled his head back, his body fully reacting to being inside of you. “This what I’ve been missing?” he asked rhetorically, as you propped yourself up on your elbows. “How is it?” you asked, wanting to know if your improvements worked. “Amazing, It’s so warm and tight darlin’.” he hissed as he moved his hands to grab your ankles.

“I mean- ahh!” you were cut off by a particularly hard thrust, “What are you feeling?” you asked and kissed him briefly before letting him speak again. “It feels like every one of my sensors is activating at once, an overall good feeling? I don’t really know how to-” You cut him off to kiss him again, running your tongue over his sharp teeth before pulling away. “That’s okay, it seems like the program is working, fuck!” you exclaimed as his dick brushed over that oh so sweet and toe curling spot inside of you. You looked at him with pleading eyes, “You’re fucking me so good Boothill.”

Lost in the moment and moaning against his lips, you suddenly felt his cock getting warmer inside of you. The sensation filling you with new feelings of pleasure you’d never felt before. “Risky but, fuck that feels so good.” Your words caught in your throat as he thrust into you harder. “Got somethin else for ya.” He practically growled as his cock started to vibrate inside of you.

“Oh fuck!” his pistoning inside of you sped up as you came hard, clenching down on him and causing him to moan out loudly. The cry that fell from his lips was desperate, “Fuck how did you-?!” he couldn’t stop himself as he fucked into you faster and harder, “Get tighter?!” the vibrations along with the almost brutal pounding he was giving you brought you over the edge again and this time your juices squirted all over him.

He slowed down and pulled out of you, your essence slick on his shaft and spilling out of you onto the bench. You whimpered as he pumped his fingers into you, your cunt still extremely sensitive. “And you think what I’ve got between my legs is dangerous.” He said with a smile before bringing you to stand on your wobbly legs, re-entering you from behind and meeting your lips as you turned to look back at him.

Boothill gained that sane speed from before within seconds, his cock at default as he chased whatever high he could find. “You doin ok doll?” His voice seemed so sweet and gentle against the lewd and messy sounds of his harsh backshots into you. He then pulled you further onto him by grabbing a fistful of your hair. “Yessshmmmmmuhh, its- hmmssofuckiggood.” You babbled gibberish as your response to him, just scratching at the the cold slab below you. He fucked into you faster and faster, your pussy clenching down on him as you lost yourself in the full body euphoria that overtook you.

Boothill chuckled darkly and pumped into you harder, moaning as his peak neared with every thrust. He let out an almost howl, feeling your tightness around him bringing him over into a sweet, delicious bliss that he could really feel for the first time. “Fuuuck!” he sighed and stuttered against you, leaning over and biting down your neck gently as he “came”.

“Your hard work payed off gorgeous, that was incredible.” He praised as he slowly leaned back and pulled out of you. You turned to him seeing his very satisfied and flushed face, “Incredible is an understatement,” you sighed and reached down to grab your pants, “That was, fucking otherworldly.”

You were about to put your pants back on but he stopped you. “What the hell you doin’ darlin? I’ve only fucked one hole so far,” he looked at you with intense eyes as he moved in closer. “For fuck’s sake Boothill, you’re gonna ruin me for other people!” He smiled that signature pointy smile of his and gave you a kiss on the cheek.“Thats the point.” His voice was alot lower than it usually was, a sultry and sensual tone laced within it.

“Now, on your knees.” You obliged quickly, finally taking off your bra so that you were completely bare before him. You took his cock in your mouth eagerly, looking up at him through your lashes as you took him in fully. You were proud of your work, there was truly no technician out more brilliant and luckier than you in this moment.

Now, if only you could manufacture and program a way to have him ejaculate inside of you…

A/N: i think i blacked out writing this………hes sooooooo…..i will never be normal about him thank you so much hoyo for this rootin tootin hottie 🥴 GODDDDD SAVE A HORSEEEEE!!! 🤧 i also think itd be cute to have other scenarios with him like….him learning how to love someone again and- 😭 idk i just want some angssst and like, a life with him?!?!

[golbrocklovely]

crave // sam and colby

A/N: sorry for posting this so late. had to finish up a few things on it, and i'm super tired so it kinda took me a while. this fic was a lot of fun to write, and if you squint it's sort of a sequel to "our girlfriend" (but not actually). lmk what you think and happy haunting :)

prompt: snc are vamps, but they need to keep their secret under wraps. they ask you, their long time best friend, to come out with them on tour to be their blood donor. what could go wrong? || AU!vampire!sam and colby x fem!reader

trigger warning: SMUT, but no actual sex, just a lot of dirty talk/description, snc are vampires, mentions of blood, biting, blood drinking (from both parties), their blood makes you horny, cursing, petnames mentioned: baby girl, sweetheart, darling, good girl, ours, deception, possibly some dubcon so just be weary of that if that's not your thing, but don't worry… it's all a dream…. or is it???

word count: 5428

~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was odd having vampires for friends while being a human. Odd, but interesting.

Sam and Colby had been my friends since they moved out to LA, and it felt like we knew each other longer than that. We grew close almost instantly, telling each other some of our deepest secrets within the first few days of knowing one another. Then one day, they told me they were vampires. Of course I didn’t take them seriously; I mean who would? Vampires aren’t real.

I soon learned very quickly that they were when I caught one of the boys drinking from a girl at a party.

Eventually I came around to the idea. I mean, vampires are pretty cool, so knowing my best friends were ones was kind of awesome. Especially since that lead to so many other questions of what else is out there.

Sam and Colby weren’t much help in that department. They only knew that they were changed right before moving to LA. They didn’t know by who or why, but they learned to accept it and embrace it quickly. Everything new that they learned about themselves and their kind, they told me.

They were scared, however, that one day their secret would come out. A very small number of people knew about their... abilities. Vampires weren’t known to the broader world yet, and they definitely didn’t want to be the first to come out.

It was getting harder to hide their secret as they grew more and more successful. More eyes were on them. And then they told me about how they planned to go on a tour, meeting as many fans as possible across the US. I was excited for them, but was a little nervous. They deserved all the love that they were getting from their fans, but hiding their true identity wasn't going to be easy on tour.

But then, they asked me something I would have never expected.

“Would you go on tour with us as our... blood donor?” Colby asked, unable to keep eye contact with me.

I raised an eyebrow at him and Sam, “...What?”

“Okay, so... usually when we go out of the country or whatever, we’re able to secure a donor, or even blood bags from local hospitals. But because we are going to every state, sometimes twice, it’s hard to do that without people growing suspicious. And while we could go feed on people, we might get caught. So we were wondering if maybe you would want to go on tour with us and... we would drink from you instead.” Sam explained, fidgeting slightly in his chair.

Colby chimed in, “Of course you can say no. But if you do it, we would 100% compensate you, however you want. We know you’re busy with your career as well, but we promise to pay you well. And of course get you your own hotel rooms and food.”

“Everything would be paid for. And you would really be doing us a solid.” Sam added.

“What would my position be for those that ask?” I questioned, crossing my arms.

“You’d be our second assistant, since we already have one. Plus, we would just let anyone know that you’re our friend joining us to meet fans.” Sam answered.

“Hmm..." I asked, lowering my voice, "Does it hurt? Being... fed on?”

“The initial bite can feel like being pricked with a needle. But afterwards, it shouldn’t be bad.” Sam remarked.

Colby commented, "Plus we would give you our blo-"

Sam smacked him in the arm, glaring, "Dude, how about we ease into that conversation?"

"You would give me your blood? To what?" I queried.

They both paused, "...Drink."

I narrowed my eyes, "Humans can drink vampire blood?"

"Yes. And apparently they like it. A lot." Colby laughed.

Sam smirked, "He dated a girl once that got really into his blood. So much so she stalked him for it."

"Jesus," I mumbled. "Wait, was that-?"

"Ashley, yeah." Colby nodded.

I gasped, "Oh my god, I thought she was just crazy."

"Well, she was. Off of vampire blood." Sam chuckled.

"Our blood can give a euphoric feeling to the person that drinks it. So sometimes people react to it like it’s a drug." Colby mentioned.

Sam continued, "But it heals you, which is why we give it in the first place. If we drink from you, you drink ours."

"So... will you do it? Be our blood donor?" Colby asked, a nervous smile on his lips.

I took a minute, weighing the pros and cons in my mind. I exhaled, nodding, "Sure."

Both of them grinned excitedly. "Thank you, Y/N. You have no idea how much this helps us."

~~\ /~~\ /~~

The tour began a couple days later, all of us meeting at the airport and flying to our first stop, New York City. The meet and greet, sponsored by Zumiez, was being held in a large theater. It was gorgeous and very spacious. The nice thing was that I got my own little dressing room, filled with snacks and anything else I had requested. I was surprised at how weirdly relaxing my day had been, having just sat around and worked on a few things for my actual job.

Sam and Colby hadn't fed on me yet, and I was getting worried. How often do they need to drink? Are they both going to do it at once? Is it actually going to hurt? What-?

A soft knock at my door brought me out of my thoughts. I walked over to the door, opening it slowly. Sam stood, leaning against the door frame. "Can I come in?"

I nodded, opening the door more for him. "What's up?"

"Would you be okay with me drinking from you now? I know it's kind of last minute, but I promise next time I'll give you more of a heads up. Or maybe we could make a schedule or something." He laughed awkwardly.

"Can I ask some questions before we do it?" I requested, sitting down on the couch.

He agreed, leaning against the vanity across from me. "Of course. Whatever you want to know."

"How often do you guys need to drink?" I questioned.

"Once a day is usually our go to. More sometimes if we're really hungry or if we skipped a day." He admitted plainly.

"Do you both have to drink from me simultaneously?" I continued.

Sam shook his head, "No. If anything, it's better that we do it separately, especially since this is the first time you're having someone feed off of you."

"So Colby is gonna feed off of me later?" I asked, relaxing back against my seat.

"Maybe. He might skip today and feed tomorrow. That's what he was thinking of doing. He's a bit stronger than me when it comes to..." Sam cleared his throat, "urges."

"Oh... Have you guys ever... you know?" I mimed slicing my throat, killing someone.

He gaped at me, "My God no. We know how to stop before it ever gets to that point. The last thing we want to do is kill someone. So you don't need to worry. Plus, too much human blood makes us high."

"Really?" I snorted.

"Yeah. We only learned that from a random vampire we met in Vegas, so it might be a lie. We haven't exactly tested that theory." He commented.

"Okay..." I exhaled, "I think I'm ready."

He walked towards me, smiling politely. "Alright. Come here."

I slowly stood up, stepping towards him. He placed his hands on my waist, holding me in place.

He locked eyes with me, "If it hurts, you tell me and I'll stop, okay?"

"Yes sir." I saluted teasingly.

His face dropped, "I'm serious, Y/N. I don't want to hurt you. Neither of us do."

"I know. I appreciate the concern." I sighed, "Just drink."

He nodded, cupping one side of my face gently. He turned my head so my neck was more exposed. He lowered his head into my throat, breathing me in for a moment. My heart skipped a beat, confused and overwhelmed. I hadn't realized how intimate this was going to be.

Suddenly, he opened his mouth, sinking his fangs in. I winced, grabbing his forearms to steady myself. He took a gulp of my blood, a very quiet moan falling from his lips. I could feel my blood leave my body, my life draining gradually. My legs began to go limp, unable to hold up my body weight. Sam caught me, pressing me closer into his warm embrace. He grunted, pulling his mouth away, licking up the excess blood that spilt from the bite.

"Are you okay, Y/N? Talk to me." He held my face, making me focus on him.

I slurred my words a bit, "I feel... okayyyy."

"Here, let's sit you down and give you some of my blood." Sam walked me to the couch, placing me down. He sat behind me, leaning me against him. He bit into his wrist, blood gushing from it. "Drink, Y/N."

He pressed his wrist to my mouth, forcing my lips to open. I tasted his blood, grimacing at the taste. But suddenly, it tasted amazing. Like everything sweet I had ever had rolled into one. I wrapped my lips over his bite, drinking from him quickly. I had never been this thirsty for something before in my life. It was like being on the brink of dehydration and finding a whole bottle of water. I placed my hands on the back of his arm, needing him more in my mouth.

"There you go, baby girl. Drink up." Sam cooed, rubbing my hair softly.

I moaned against him, my body buzzing. My one hand dropped down onto his thigh, gripping it. Erotic thoughts crowded my thoughts, another groan leaving my mouth.

He pulled his arm away, sitting me up instantly. "That's enough, Y/N. Don't want to get you high."

I felt a whine fall from my lips, embarrassment heating up my cheeks as I realized what I did. "Oh, um, shit. My bad, Sam. Sorry."

"No, you're okay," he assured me, standing up. "I've heard it's hard for humans to stop once they've started, so we kinda have to yank you away from us."

I could suddenly feel my damp underwear press against me, my face burning up more. "I-I get it. Thanks for doing that. It felt like I couldn't stop. A-Are you okay?"

"Yeah, already healed." He showed his wrist, the bite gone. "Make sure to drink plenty of water and eat something. You'll probably actually feel hungry soon."

I pursed my lips. "Thanks. I'll make sure to do that."

Sam took a few steps towards the door, stopping abruptly. He spun back, his eyes wide. "Oh my God, Y/N, I'm so sorry. I forgot to tell you something!"

I blinked, "What?

"Having our blood in your system... it might make you dream about us." He stated.

I chuckled, "Wait really? That's weird."

"Yeah. But um... the dreams might be a bit on the... sexual side?" He grimaced.

My face dropped, "What."

"That's what some people, girls, have said to us in the past," he mentioned. "I don't know if it's true, but it can happen. So I just want you to be aware."

I mumbled, "Would have been nice to know about this beforehand..."

Sam replied, his expression softened. "I apologize, really. It just slipped my mind. I haven't drank from someone directly in a while so I totally forgot."

"Hey, it's alright. It's just a dream." I added, "It might not even happen."

He grinned, "Exactly."

~~\ /~~\ /~~

It happened.

It very much happened.

The dream itself was odd, all over the place, and I barely remembered any of it. All I knew was that I woke up hot, sweating, and aching to be fucked. By specifically Sam. That, tied with literally soaking my underwear as he drank from me.... I was not excited to keep this job up.

Even if the pay was phenomenal.

But maybe things would get easier. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad after we got into a routine.

The next day they told me that they would make sure to have one of them only feeding on me once a day, that was I wasn't 'overworked'. Sam would go on even days, Colby on odds. And today was odd.

It was midday, the boys already a couple hours into their meet and greet. I waited backstage in a small hallway, scrolling through Instagram. Colby hadn't drank from me, and I wondered if he even planned to.

I heard footsteps coming towards me, heavy on the heel. I looked up and spotted Colby. He gave me a light smile, growing closer to me.

"Hey, are you okay? Shouldn't you be out on stage meeting fans?" I questioned, squinting at him.

"We are. We're taking a ten minute break." He responded, pressing his back against the wall by me.

"Oh, that's good. You guys have been at it for..." I checked my watch, "Four hours, wow."

Colby interrupted, "I know this is last minute to ask you, but can I... get a drink?"

"Right here? Now?" I pointed to the hallway.

"Yeah. No one is coming down this hallway. Security is making sure of that." He stated firmly.

I lowered my voice, "Do they know?"

"Of course." He bit his lip, "I'm sorry to do this right now, but I'm worried if I wait until after, I might... snap, on someone."

My eyes widened, "Oh... We wouldn't want that."

"No, we would not." He laughed nervously.

"Um, yeah. Go ahead." I stood up, taking a deep breath as I looked at him.

"Here, put your hands on my shoulders. I don't want you to fall over." He directed.

"Okay." I giggled, doing what he said. He lightly placed his hands on my hips, pushing closer to me. I did my best not to shudder, his closeness making my heart erratic. I turned my neck towards the wall, feeling his breath fan across my skin. I inhaled, and felt his teeth sink in quickly. I gasped, the pain lasting for a moment. I cupped his shoulders hard as he drank from me, slowly draining my blood into himself. He hummed, his hands slipping up my back and pulling me in deeper. I sighed, pleasure taking over my senses.

It felt good to have Colby this close, to feel him drink from me. That thought alone made my heart skip.

Colby pulled away, looking at me hesitantly, "Are you okay? I heard your heart stop for a second."

"Wha? Yeah, I'm fine." I could feel my hands tremble, "I think I forgot to breathe."

"Well, take some of my blood." He bit his wrist, pushing it towards me.

"I don't know, I think I'm okay." I argued half-heartedly.

"Drink, Y/N. Don't be stubborn." Colby smirked playfully at me.

I glared back sassily, leaning towards his bite. I placed my mouth on it as he pressed it further into my mouth. His hand rested softly on my side as my body turned into him, my back pressing against his front. As I spun, his hand drifted lower, touching the top of my thigh.

I sucked his blood down, the sweetness driving me crazy immediately. It was different from Sam's, but just as addictive. He chuckled deeply at my eagerness, allowing me to wrap my hands around his arm to keep him close.

"It's okay darling. Drink up. I'm not going anywhere." He whispered low.

My blood raced at his words, a whimper falling from my lips. I could feel it again, the ache between my legs. But this time I didn't care. All I could think about was his blood, or his cock. And both were making me wet.

He pulled back suddenly, a 'pop' noise echoing off the fluorescent lighted walls from my mouth. "Y/N, while I would allow you to drink from me for forever, I gotta get back."

"I-I-I," I took a deep breath, getting my bearings again, "Yeah. That's, um, probably for the best."

"Are you okay? Do you need me to stay with you?" He questioned, looking me over.

"No. Go ahead. I'll be alright." I confirmed.

He pressed his forehead against mine sweetly, "Hey, I'm sorry we didn't tell you sooner about the whole dream thing. How was it last night? Did you dream of Sam?"

I stepped back, blushing. "N-No. No, I didn't. I honestly can't remember my dream."

He beamed, "Well that's good. Maybe it will be the same tonight."

I nodded. "Hopefully."

~~\ /~~\ /~~

We were over a week into this arrangement and I felt like I was losing my mind.

Every day one of them was feeding on me, and every night I had a dirty dream about them. It didn't matter if I only had a sip of their blood or a lot. If their blood was in my system, I was dreaming about them fucking me senseless. And that's all I wanted. I couldn't even look at them without feeling like I wanted to rip their clothes off and beg them to fuck me.

It was embarrassing, tormenting, and made me feel insane. And also incredibly hot.

Luckily tonight was our first night off of the tour. We decided to all go out to eat and drink once it got late. Sam and Colby told me that they planned to find someone else to feed on, or possibly hit up a local blood bank, so I could rest easy tonight knowing they weren't going to feed on me.

God knows I needed the break...

Even though Sam and Colby's blood had been out of my system for a day, I still felt this overwhelming urge to fuck them. I couldn't deny that feeling this way left me confused beyond belief. Sure, they were good looking guys, and at times I had thought about kissing them or what it would be like to date them, but I never gave it more than a passing thought. But now all I could think about was them inside of me, taking me and doing what they wan-

No. No. No. Not tonight. Tonight I would relax, unwind, and drink.

And I did just that. I drank, and drank, and drank. The world felt a little off balance, a bit too spinny for my liking. I leaned against the wall of the bar, staring at the dance floor lights.

Sam sauntered over to me, "Heyyy, Y/N. You okay?"

"I'm Gucci, my dude," I snickered. I pointed at his drink, "Wait, vampires can get drunk?"

"Oh yeah. Especially since we didn't drink tonight." He admitted, then laughed. “Did you think we were acting all those times you saw us at parties plastered?”

"What really? I thought you guys planned to get some from..." I waved my hand around, "somewhere."

"We were, but it was a bust. Or our connection fell through." He shrugged it off, "But don't worry, we'll figure it out."

"I mean... you could always drink from me." I responded, ignoring the dull ache in my stomach.

He shook his head, "No, no. This is your night off. You deserve it. Don't worry about us."

I raised an eyebrow at him, "Are you sure?"

"Of course, Y/N." He confirmed.

Colby stumbled over to us, saying something in Sam's ear. "Hey, we're gonna head back to the hotel. You ready to leave?"

"Actually... yeah. I think I've drank enough tonight." I giggled, walking through the crowd to the exit with Sam and Colby.

"Well, if you need to sober up a bit, our blood could help." Colby stated.

I huffed, "It's my night off."

"...From being drank from," Colby chuckled. "But if you want our blood, you can have some. Take your pick."

I glanced at the both of them, sighing. "How about we wait until we're back at the hotel, yeah? Then I'll figure that out."

The ride home was tense, or at least it was for me. I felt like both boys were looking at me, waiting for me to make my choice. My skin grew hot under their stare, the ache coming back again.

C'mon. This was supposed to be my one night off.

Entering the hotel, the boys locked arms with me gently, helping me to the elevator.

I smiled lazily, "You don't need to help me. I'm not that drunk."

"Really? You sure about that?" Sam smirked.

"Trust me." I mumbled, "I sobered up in the car."

“Well that's good. But you should still have some of our blood.” Colby persisted.

The elevator 'dinged' softly, the doors opening slowly. I walked down the hallway towards my room, the boys following right behind me. I pulled out my key card, swiping it and yanking open my door.

I whined, trying to pull my shoes off to no avail. "Remind me to never get drunk in heels again. It sucks." I flopped down on the bed, groaning into the cover.

"So, do you want us to leave? We can always do this in the morning." Sam asked.

I picked my head up, "No, it's okay. I'll be honest, I still haven't made a decision about who to drink from."

"Well take a second if you want to." Colby spoke.

"There's no need." I sat up, turning to them. "I don't want to do it out of order so... drink from me first."

He frowned. "What? No, it's your day off."

"It's fine, Colby. I know it is, but you guys didn't eat... drink, today." I assured him.

Colby looked over at Sam accusingly, and he shrugged. "I accidentally let it slip."

"You usually are a blabbermouth when you're drunk." I teased.

Colby shook his head, "We'll be fine."

"I mean... maybe we should drink, if she's okay with it." Sam argued lightly.

"I am okay with it. Plus, you'll just give me your blood anyway. So then we'll be even." I remarked.

Colby's expression softened, Sam's face matching his. "Are you sure? I don't want you to do this if you don't want to."

"I totally don't mind, guys. Really." I insisted.

Colby paused for a minute, then nodded. "Okay, but we're only taking a little from you."

"That's fine by me." I stood up, swaying back and forth as my lightheadedness faded. The boys placed hands on my back, keeping me from falling.

Sam snorted, "Yeah, we're definitely only taking a little."

They gave each other a glance, Sam sliding towards me first. I gazed at him, snaking my eyes across his face, then tilted my head back.

His voice came out in a husky whisper, "Aren't you eager..."

I rolled my eyes, "Just do it before I change my-"

My breath hitched, Sam's fangs sinking deep into my skin. I grabbed his arms, bracing myself as he drank from me. He grunted lowly, his body firmly against mine.

I peered out of the corner of my eye, watching Colby watch us. He studied my face, taking in my expression. My eyes fluttered as Sam pulled away, stopping much sooner than he usually would.

"Fuck... I needed that." He wiped his mouth, making sure to lick the excess blood off his hand. My core throbbed at his actions. I bit my lip to keep from moaning. "Your turn, Colby."

He locked eyes with me, "You good?"

I stammered, "S-Sure. Go ahead."

"Let me know if it's too much, okay?" He uttered.

I nodded, moving my head to the other side and allowing him access. He lowered his mouth onto my neck, biting softly. I exhaled, my hands holding onto his arms. He took a few sips from me, then pulled back. "Wait, let me get a better angle."

I squinted at him, confused. He circled around, stopping behind me. His hands slithered to my hips, tugging me closer.

"Much better." He grunted, then sank his teeth into me hastily. I gasped, surprised by the force.

I looked up at Sam, his eyes gazing at us with a devilish glint. He cocked his head to the side, slinking over to us inch by inch. "I think you should take some of my blood now, Y/N. Before you get too light headed."

He bit into his wrist, placing it in front of me. "Drink up."

I leaned forward some, taking his blood into my mouth. I sighed, euphoria hitting me instantly. I had never had one of them drink from me while the other gave me blood. My mind was race, my heart pounding loudly against my chest. My body in flames from pleasure and pain. And I couldn't tell which one I liked more.

Sam's fangs dazzled in the light as he spoke, "Oh, Colby. We forgot to tell her something again."

Colby released his mouth from my neck, swallowing, "And what could that be Sam?"

Sam's eyes landed on mine, almost empty of feeling, "When you exchange blood like this with us... it makes you ours."

I furrowed my brow at him, keeping my mouth on his wound. My voice came out muffled, "Ours?"

"Yeah. Ours. See, we might have deceived you a little bit." Sam shrugged.

"Our bad." Colby snickered.

"He and I have been into you for a while, Y/N. But we knew you only ever saw us as a friend. Plus, we didn't want to have to fight over you so we thought the best course of action would be to just... make you both of ours." Sam grinned evilly, "And God, you made it so easy. Just following along without question."

Colby pressed his lips against my ear, keeping his voice deep and low. "With our blood running through your system, you will always be ours. You will be just as obsessed with us as we are with you."

My mind and body barely took their words in, the only thing I wanted was more of Sam's blood. My cunt pulsed as his blood invaded my system, my mind only thinking of him and all of the things I wanted him to do to me.

Sam yanked his wrist away, a desperate mewl escaping my mouth.

My mind was foggy, my head catching up to what I just heard. "W-W-What? Are you guys-?"

Colby spun me, pushing me back into Sam. He wrapped his arm around me tight, biting into my neck. Colby did the same to his wrist, placing my mouth on it. I grunted against him, glaring at him for a moment before all of my anger melted into pure bliss.

Colby's blood mixed with Sam's... and suddenly I wanted nothing more than for both of them to take me. God I could almost feel them inside of me, touching me in all the right spots.

"There you go, baby. Such a good girl for us." Colby smirked.

Sam pulled his mouth away, just to place it against the hollow of my ear, "Our good girl."

I could feel some of my mind come back to me for a split second. I hissed against Colby's wrist, "Fuck you."

He scoffed, "Sweetheart, you can say that all you want, but I know deep down you don't mean it. Well, you don't mean it in that way."

"Don't lie to us, baby girl." Sam sang angrily, latching his mouth back onto my bite.

"You know how we know that? I've heard you every night of this tour moan our names in your sleep. I've heard the way you whimper and cry and beg for us to fuck you when you touch yourself," Colby growled, his eyes intense as they bore into mine. "Don't deny it, Y/N.

Sam yanked back his mouth as Colby pulled his wrist away. I panted, keeping my distance from them and pressing myself against the desk. They stared me down, taking me in like prey.

My legs were shaking, my body tingling everywhere. I felt like I was on fire from the inside out. I had never been so wet in my entire life. I wanted to scream at them, to hate them, to tell them to leave. But everything in my head and body were begging them to stay; to touch me.

Sam stepped towards me, closing the gap between us, "You're ours, Y/N. Doesn't that sound amazing? To be shared by us?"

I couldn't help but nod my head. I wanted to deny it, but it wasn't true.

"No one else can have you like this. Only us." Sam whispered into my ear, turning my head gently to look at him. He leaned in and kissed me deeply, taking my breath away with the feverish kiss. My hand dug into his shirt, holding on it as his tongue tasted mine.

I was ripped away from his kiss as Colby pushed himself against me. He cupped my face, rolling my head towards him. "Only us," he stated. He pressed his lips to mine, his mouth and tongue tender against my own. I whined as I felt Sam begin to kiss my neck, nibbling and sucking on the skin. I could hear him murmur 'ours' over and over again.

Colby removed his mouth from mine, following Sam's lead in kissing and nipping at my neck and body. I was overwhelmed, my chest rising and falling rapidly. I squeezed my eyes shut, still feeling Sam and Colby snake up and down my body with their hands and mouths. A breathy groan escaped my lips, my mind unable to slow down. If they touched the right spot, I would completely come undone.

I needed them. I wanted them. I would do anything for them.

The sound of silence fell over the room. Then, a low ringing took over my hearing. Soon it grew louder and louder and louder. I popped my eyes open, gasping.

I was in my hotel room, and it was bright outside. The ringing was my alarm on my phone going off - 9:30 A.M.

I sat up, my head weighing a thousand pounds. I was in my clothes from the night before, but tucked comfortably into bed.

How the fuck did I get here? Where the hell were Sam and Colby?

It suddenly dawned on me - Oh my God, that was a dream?

There's no way. That felt too real. That can't be right.

I changed quickly, knowing that Sam and Colby would be waiting for me in the lobby so we could travel to the next venue. I never unpacked, so I threw my dirty clothes in my suitcase, and trudged out the door with everything I had brought.

I stumbled down to the lobby, finding Sam and Colby waiting off to the side for me with their luggage. Their assistant was talking to them, along with someone from Zumiez's team, about the upcoming meet and greet.

Colby beamed when he saw me, "Hey, we were wondering if you were gonna make it."

"What happened last night?" I glared.

Sam turned at the sound of my voice, "Do you not remember...?"

"Just tell me what happened. Please." I answered, short.

Colby inhaled, "Well, we planned to... continue drinking in your room. But once we got there, you flopped on your bed and passed out."

"We figured you were too tired after all the traveling and drinking that we just decided to call it a night." Sam added.

Colby commented, "I took your shoes off before tucking you in. I know you hate falling asleep with heels on."

"Oh." I vaguely remembered falling onto my bed. And my shoes were off when I woke up… "I could have sworn something else happened."

Colby gasped lowly, "Did you have a dream about us?"

I immediately blushed, "Um, you could say that."

"What was it about? Tell me." He pleaded.

"I don't think you want to know, to be honest. I squirmed under their gaze, doing my best to ignore the parts of the dream my body couldn't forget. "It was kind of all over the place. And you guys were a bit... mean, to say the least."

"Oh, shit. Well, sorry that my dream self was an asshole to you." Colby apologized.

Sam agreed, "Ditto."

I half smiled, exhaling. "Thanks. I appreciate it."

"Of course, Y/N. You're our..." Sam smiled, "best friend. We would never be mean to you."

"Unless you want us to be, of course." Colby taunted, a mischievous look in his eye.

[gretavanmoon]

A Perfect Ten - Part 3

Josh x Female reader

13.5k words

+ After befriending your coworker Josh at your new workplace, the both of you realize you need each other in more ways than one. Things might get a little cloudy as an ongoing judge of actions takes place, leaving the both of you wrapped up in a back and forth neither of you saw coming

Warnings: Mention of Drinking, Cursing, Mention of Breakups and Heartbreak, Sadness, Lying, Fluff. Smut: Kissing, Touching, Dirty Talk, Praise, Flirting, Oral F!receiving, Fingering, Unprotected Penetrative Sex.

A/N: Thanks for sticking it out to the end! I appreciate everyone's interest in this, and all of your kind messages of encouragement! This was such a fun little story to explore, and I hope you love the conclusion :)

Five weeks. 

It’d been over five long, hard, confusing, delicious weeks of Josh wrapping himself up in you, and you in him, the both of you using the other for paramount physical satisfaction that wasn’t comparable to any other partner either of you had ever had. Not every night had been spent together, but more often than not, you found yourself waking up to him bringing you a mug of coffee in bed before he scurried off to the shower to get ready for the day. 

Since neither of you ever had to be at work until around 11AM, you never overstayed your welcome, making your way out of his bed and out the door before you could finish off the last few drops. You never hung around, but then again, he never asked you to. 

That promise he made you on his porch that night as his fingers were buried deep inside you was yet to be fulfilled, though… each of you switching off coming up with some excuse to not go all the way. You’d been burdened with a plethora of intertwined and overlapping thoughts, most of them so intense that you would daze out during the day, tuning out your customers’ orders as they ran them off to you. Your mind felt as if it was a mess of tangled wires, each one connected to something different or not connected to anything at all as you tried your damndest to sort through them, unwinding a few at a time only for them to tangle and jumble up again. 

You liked Josh. Actually, you really liked him. 

But though the two of you have ravished each other’s bodies in nearly every single way but the one that you yearned for most, you still can’t bring yourself to ask him why. Why he won’t show his feelings toward you in what you consider the most important way there is. 

“We’re friends, Y/N, nothing more…”

His words still rang in the back of your head, and you’d been fighting off your mental demons of pure desperation since he said them. Though, you repeat the same ones back to him all the time. It was only weeks ago that Josh told you that he was having a harder and harder time telling you no, and you wondered if you outright asked him to love you in the way that you wanted, maybe he would. 

But, you didn’t want to do anything that he didn’t want to do, and you didn’t want to give yourself to him in a way in which he wouldn’t want you. It hurt, it truly did, but you’d used the excuse of if he wanted to, he would to make yourself feel better for far too long, now. 

Honestly, you were starting to get kind of pissed. The sexual frustration had begun to weigh on your needs. Neither of you had ever really discussed being exclusive, even if it was just a friends with benefits type situation, but then again you never saw or heard any evidence of him hooking up with anyone else. So, you played the cards as they lied.  

Some nights, after one too many after-work drinks at the bar, you’d muster up the courage to ask him, but you always fell short, bargaining that any attention from him was better than none… So you’d cut your losses and let him walk you back to his place, dancing in the kitchen with one another until, inevitably, your clothes were tumbling to the floor yet again, and the escapades would ensue. 

You still craved his attention, that part of the deal never left. An overwhelming need to feed his ego, be the only one his sights were set on, at all times. It was toxic, and you knew that… Every little bit of attention he gave to someone else made your blood burn and your face redden with an envy you had yet to experience with anyone else. If you couldn’t give Josh everything that he needed, why could someone else? You knew exactly what he liked…

…Then the voices in your head would return, scolding you for acting and thinking in such a manner toward a man that claims no part of you, other than making you unravel for him night after night as your legs spread wide for his tongue to explore. 

So, you sucked it up, working your fingers to the bone every night slinging pizzas, refilling beers, and not-so-subtly flirting with Josh in the interim. No other men caught and held your attention anymore. None of any substance, at least. You wondered if the reason for that was because of the fake wall you’d built up to stop anyone else from trying to ruin your chance with Josh.  

On one particularly slow night, you and your coworker Jamie were rolling piles upon piles of silverware, doing anything you could to fill the time and keep your hands busy until the next table were to roll in. Jamie was newer and very sweet, and you noticed that she had begun to get a little more personable with you as she became comfortable in her position. 

“So, I heard that Josh turned down that assistant manager's position again, why would he do that? He would be so absolutely perfect for the job…” she pestered, curious as to why someone like him would deny himself a promotion. 

You took a breath. “I know, I agree. I tried to get him to take it but, his argument is that he’s comfortable doing what he’s doing. Making the money that he does without the extra headache and responsibility.”

She clicked her tongue. “Guess I can’t blame him. Managerial positions aren’t for everyone. Hey, maybe they’ll offer it to you!” Her perkiness and over the top energy sometimes made your teeth hurt with sweetness, but you knew she meant well… so you thought, so far. 

“Aha, no,” you laughed. “I haven’t been here long enough yet.” You stood from the barstool you were sitting on and grabbed up the basket of silverware, heading off to the kitchen to do a swap for freshly washed ones. 

“Where is he, anyway? I haven’t seen him in a couple days,” Jamie said as you popped back through the swinging doors. “Not that I noticed or anything, I know you guys hang out a lot…”

Her tone made your stomach turn over, but you tried to ignore it. “He uh, he left town for a few days, visiting some family up North while we have a slow month.” 

You lied. You lied right through your teeth. 

The smile on Jamie’s face was wide. “Oh! That’s nice. I just noticed it’s really quiet around here without him always cracking jokes and stuff, ya know? Without him picking on me and purposefully trying to teach me the wrong things all the time,” her high pitched giggles made you want to throw this stack of napkins right at her face. 

“The wrong things?” you questioned, your eyes heavy on her.  

“Yeah, last week he tried to tell me the Peppadew pizza didn’t have any peppers on it, and that caramelized onions have actual caramel on them… I know better, but it was sweet he’s trying to trip me up, ya know? Like he’s testing me. Keeping me on my toes. And then when he offered to do my side work when I had to leave early for an appointment…just a really great guy, ya know?”

You swore to god, if she said ‘ya know?’ one more fucking time…

“Yeah, he’s a really great guy…” you mumbled, roughly twisting the silvers tightly into the napkin. You felt as though there was smoke coming from your ears, and your head was about to blow at any second. Had he been flirting with her? In the exact same ways that he flirted with you when you first started?

“Oh, and…this is kind of embarrassing but…I cried last Saturday night in the walk-in after my shift. I’d had a rough night, got stiffed by a table and spilled a beer in my shoes, Heather yelled at me and I just…anyway, Josh let me cry on him in there, dried my stupid tears. Really made me feel better, ya know? Told me everyone has those nights and I was a really great server. He even invited me out to the bar after closing. He made me feel so much better about it all.”

He…fucking…what?

The one night you decided to let someone switch you shifts…

“Did you go?” you blurted out a little too quickly. 

“Oh, where, to the bar?”

“Yes Jamie, to the bar. Did you go with him?” you growled.

Her nonchalance was really making you sick. “Oh, I started to, but then I decided against it. Josh walked me to my car and I went home and had a self care night. Those really are the best, ya know?”

“He walked you to your car?” you asked, your words spewing like wildfire now as you felt your blood boiling. 

“Yeah he uh, said he wanted to make sure I was safe… Y/N, you guys aren’t like, together are you? I mean I know you guys are close friends but if you’re anything more, I can back off…”

“No,” you cut her off. “No, we’re not together.” You grit your teeth as your fingers continued to roll, your ears nearly deaf with rage. 

“Are you sure?” she meekly asked. 

“Positive!” you smiled a fake smile. “We’re…really close friends. Nothing more…” The words burned coming from your mouth, the same sentence you’d reiterated to yourself time and time again the past few weeks now being spoken into the air, and feeling more real than ever. Nothing more. Nothing ever more. 

“Oh good! So then… I guess you won’t care if I take him up on his invitation to go to the bar, if he ever asks again? He’s just so sweet and I…kind of wouldn’t mind hanging out outside of wor—“

“No Jamie, I don’t mind. Actually, I don’t mind at all. I’m sure he’d love your company at the bar. He does this with every new hire, I’m sure he’s just breaking you in.” You knew it was wrong, but you somehow couldn’t stop yourself…

“Breaking me in?” she cowered. 

“Oh yeah,” you emphasized your words, making them sound as petty and condescending as possible. “Hot new chick comes to work here, he catches them up in a hot and heavy situationship, leads them along until he gets what he wants, then he disappears from their lives, dropping them like little stray kittens when new fresh meat comes along. Dick move, really. Happens all the time, he’s known for it. Didn’t…didn’t anyone tell you that?” you ask. Fuck, this was so wrong. You’ve lied to her twice now. 

“Oh, shit, no…no one has said anything about that. Does…does he really do that with every new person that comes along?”

“Yep! I’ve seen it a few times myself. He’ll break your heart faster than you can learn the secret menu, babe. Sorry to burst your bubble.” Her face fell as she blushed, definitely surprised at your fake story and taking it all for truth. “But I mean, if you’re into that kind of thing, then by all means…go to the bar with him.”

You could tell that Jamie wasn’t the type to be out looking for a hookup. She was the long term relationship type, you could tell that much just from her demeanor and a quick scroll of her instagram feed. You knew this fabricated story would turn her completely away from Josh, or at least, this new light you’d painted him in. 

You watched as she slipped her hair behind her ear, trying to swallow back the news you’d just bombed her with. “Ah, I’ll see. Maybe sometime I will,” she smiled, quickly turning her charm back on as you both heard the ding of the front door opening, signaling new customers. “My turn!” Her smile was as fake as the story you’d just made up, but you thought it was more out of necessity than kindness. And you suddenly felt fucking awful. 

Every single thing she’d just told you Josh did for her, was something that any gentleman would do, any nice person would do to make a new hire feel at home and welcomed. Of course he flirted with her, he’s a natural-born. Of course he walked her to her car late at night, and of course he invited her out to the bar so she wouldn’t feel left out when the group left together. And you just painted him in a light so horrible that even you wouldn’t want to hang out with him. 

Not to mention the lie you told before this one, that he was up North visiting family for the next few days. Truth be told, Josh called you one morning you were both off work and told you he would be back in a few days, that he had something he needed to take care of and he wouldn’t have cell service. He didn’t give any details, but you didn’t feel it was your place to really ask any, either. 

You’d made sure everything was alright, and asked if he needed you for anything while he was gone, but when he assured you everything was okay and hung up the phone more quickly than you could even give him a proper goodbye, you knew something was up. But what it was, you were completely unsure of. 

Of course you and Josh weren’t the type to text all day, day in and day out…you each gave each other space to live your own lives and do what the other pleased as far as daily activities, but you were confident in the fact that you knew where he was at any given time of day, and he you. It wasn’t ever expected, it’s just how it always was. Especially since you both worked nearly the same schedule. 

But something about that phone call felt wrong. It felt like he was withholding something, cutting your sentences off and not giving you much of anything, at all. Your senses told you that something was most definitely up. 

An intense retrospective dissociation that night after your conversation with Jamie had you replaying the few days leading up to Josh leaving town, thinking back on every little detail and wondering if you had overstepped your agreement with Josh. Made him feel uncomfortable or upset for any reason, but you really couldn’t think of a thing. You knew your thoughts about your relationship felt toxic in your mind, but that’s where they stayed, locked away tight. You never really voiced your concerns with him, trying to keep things as light as possible while you all but suffered internally. 

You fell asleep that night cold and alone, hugging a pillow between your arms while you wished it was Josh hugging you back. 

•••

Just when you thought things couldn’t get worse, the rainstorm that had begun falling on you a few days ago had now turned into a full on downpour. 

You’d come into your shift that Friday morning, finding Josh had made it in well before you even parked your car. It was strange of him, as he always clocked in at the exact turn of the hour, no matter what. You tried to keep positive as you made the trek inside, thinking that maybe he’d gotten busy with unpacking when he’d arrived back home and forgot to call you, or maybe he’d re-thought his decision on the assistant manager position and had come to talk to Heather about it. Either way, you were excited to see his face again. 

“Morning, sunshine!” you sang into his ear when you found him on the patio, filling up the Parmesan cheese shakers. “You’re here awfully early, you go off and have a meeting with a life coach, or something?” Maybe playful teasing will break through the ice he had in his voice on that dreadful phone call the other day. 

“Morning,” he said, his voice fallen and a bit defeated. You paused, waiting for him to add some snide remark in his defense to make you laugh, but he didn’t. He just continued on with his task. 

You walked up beside him, grabbing a few stray menus from the cabinet and straightening them up. “You uh, have a good trip?”

“Yeah, was fine,” he replied, his voice chipper, but his eyes still looking at anything but you. Completely out of character. 

You leaned down on your elbows to look up at him from below, hoping that you’d catch his eyes. “Missed you, wasn’t the same without you here…” you cooed, earning nothing more than a tight-lipped grin from him as he tightened the lid on the last shaker. 

“Yeah, ditto,” he said, grabbing the tray of shakers up and backing his way back into the restaurant. 

What the fuck? Shit, had Jamie gotten to him and told him what you’d said? That had to be it, there was no other explanation for his odd behavior. How the fuck were you going to fix this?

You held back from him for the rest of the shift, giving him a little room and meeting the same energy he’d been giving you all day. You tried talking to him a handful of times, with each encounter feeling more and more forced than the last. You’d speak, and he’d respond, but his attitude toward you was nothing like the real him, and more than anything, it began to worry you that something else was up, and your gut wasn’t lying to you at all. 

The shift came and went in a flurry, time passing by in the blink of an eye before shift change hit you in the face. Jamie was replacing you in your section, and you hated to leave it full and not collect your tips, but you really felt as though you needed to get out of this place as soon as possible, and a little good karma wouldn’t be a bad thing to strive for, right now. 

So you transferred every single table to her, much to her overjoyed surprise, and you got to work counting your checks and tips before you could clock out and have an evening free to get away from the awkwardness that had become Angelo’s Pizza. 

You could hardly even face Josh by the end of the day, things felt so tense that you could cut the air with a knife, and you didn’t like it one fucking bit. 

“I’m going to the bar tonight, with Josh and everyone,” Jamie whispered in your ear as she came up behind you as you finished your sidework.. 

“Oh, you are?” you asked, surprised that Josh hadn’t asked you to go, and that he was going at all, given he worked a lunch shift. 

“Mhm, I asked if he was going out tonight, and he said he’d see me there. I just wanted to say thanks, for the warning about him, but I think I’m gonna give it a go, see what happens,” she said, excitement filling her voice as she bit into a staff pizza slice. 

“Ah well, good luck to you, I hope it works in your favor, babe.” You throw on a genuine smile, wanting more to shove her into the dish pit than encourage her any further. 

Much to your surprise, you met Josh inadvertently at the lockers as you were leaving, taking his order pad and pens out of his apron before dispensing it in the dirty hamper to be washed. You cleared your throat as you put your combination into your lock, accepting the fact that he just…didn’t want to talk to you. 

It was silent for a few seconds as the two of you did your own things before you slammed your door shut, making him startle where he stood. 

“Can I uh, walk you to your car, Y/N?” he asked quietly, his gaze still trying its best to avoid you without being rude. 

“It’s 4:30 in the afternoon, Josh. It’s not even dark yet,” you replied, regretting your tone as soon as the words left you. You watched his face fall even more. “I—sure, yes. I’m sorry, I’d love for you to walk me,” you agreed, feeling anxious and uneasy already. Things felt so out of place. 

The two of you waltzed out the back door and into the light of the evening, walking fairly quickly to your car parked on the side lot. “Things busy while I was gone?” he broke through the silence. 

“No,” you breathed, pulling your keys from your purse. “Really slow, actually. Made maybe $275 the whole time you were gone.”

“Yikes, picked a good time to leave, then,” he joked, pulling his arm behind his head. The two of you stood in silence again, what normally would be flirtatious hugs and teasing kisses had been replaced by uneasy stares and forced small talk, and you felt as though you could crumble at the loss of the feeling of him. His once warm and inviting persona has suddenly been replaced with an ice cold stare and a stoic stance.

“Are you sure everything is okay, Josh?” you pressed again, scared stiff to hear his reply as he couldn’t walk away from you, now. 

His honey brown eyes glistened in the sunlight as you watched him bite his lips in, pondering on his words before he said them. “Yeah, everything’s fine, Y/N. Swear.”

“You promise?” you asked as you poked his shoulder, hoping teasing him a little would jog the awkwardness away. 

“Promise.”

“Okay…then, you wanna come over this evening? Have a beer? I have a frozen calzone I'm gonna throw in the oven…” you tried again. 

His eyes darted sideways as he bit his lip in again, his hand uncomfortable as it rubbed the back of his neck. “I um, think I’m gonna stay in tonight, pretty tired from driving. Gonna catch up on some z’s,” he said, his tone completely unconvincing. What the hell…he just lied to you. He’s going to the bar…

You try your best to cover up your surely shocked expression. “Sure yeah, I should uh, probably do that too…” you said as you began backing away from him, aggravated tears threatening your eyes. “I’ll see you later, thanks for walking me.” 

You unlocked your car and hopped into the driver’s seat, quickly finding the ignition as you held your breath and stopped every single emotion from making its way to your face. He couldn’t see you cry… 

You didn’t even bother looking back at him as you pulled out of your spot, knowing that a simple glance at him would have you losing it right there in the parking lot. You could feel his eyes on you, though, watching as you threw it in drive and made your exit quick. 

The road home from Angelo’s was packed with traffic, cars filling nearly every street spot as families and locals alike started to fill the town for the weekend. Your hands gripped hard at the top of the steering wheel as you were carefully watching for pedestrians, the same burning tears fighting their way through the closer to home you became. Your chest was tight and your palms were sweaty, what in the world is happening? Where has your sweet Josh gone?

Maybe the false story you’d made up and told Jamie was actually closer to the truth than you realized, maybe you were just another pawn in Josh’s game until someone new came along. Maybe he really does do this to everyone, and you just hadn’t had anyone to warn you..

You couldn’t hold the tears back any longer, letting them finally fall freely as you neared your driveway. You choked out powerful sobs, your eyes throbbing and your throat tight as you let yourself mourn what felt to be the loss of not only an amazing lover, but one of your very best friends. You whipped your car into the parking spot and shut it off, giving yourself a second to wipe your tears before one of your neighbors caught you in this fucking fit of tears and sobs. 

You felt idiotic, thrashing yourself down into your bed after kicking your shoes off to fall to the floor, letting yourself be overcome with sorrow. And more so, a lingering guilt that you’d done something so wrong that he went from being the one you spoke to the most in this world, to turning you away completely. It was so sudden that you felt like you had whiplash. 

After an hour long cry, you dragged yourself up out of your bed and to the bathroom, stripping away the clothes that held pizza dust and beer to hop into the shower. Hot showers always bring about wisdom, so you made sure to turn the knob to nearly scalding. 

As you let the water flow over your hair and onto your face, the picture on the backs of your eyelids was nothing but Josh… His curls, his chocolate eyes, his perfect smile and the way it gave you butterflies… You aren’t incorrect in confidently saying that your crush on him is more than just that, that your feelings have developed into something a bit more serious. More than what you would call just friends. 

Maybe you should just call him. Force it out of him… Maybe you should show up to the bar tonight, and act like nothing in the world is wrong. Or maybe you should just get back under the covers and have that whole calzone to yourself. All the options sound feasible, but then your mind suggests that you turn the tables. What would Josh do if the roles were reversed?

He’d probably call you up, and when you didn’t answer the first time, he’d call again, letting the tone ring until you either sent him to voicemail or picked up. Then he’d tell you he was bringing snacks and wine over, and you were going to sit with him and explain what’s going on, just like any good friend would do. No questions asked. Josh was a private man, but that still didn’t stop him from loving those who surrounded him unconditionally. And, as far as you were concerned, you were one of those people. And you deserved to know what the hell is going on with him, especially if you had any intention of helping him fix it. 

So, as you stepped out of the shower and wrapped yourself in your towels, you decided on doing just that. You grabbed up your phone and opened your text thread with Josh, seeing that the multiple memes and funny videos you’d sent him over the last few days had gone unreplied to, sitting there on read in your texts as if he hadn’t even seen them at all. You ignore it, instead typing up a rather happy message that laid a few things out, seeing if it will bait him to finally respond. 

You: Starting Friends over from season 1, going to see if I’m still Team Joey after this go around. This calzone and wine won’t taste the same without you, but I hope you’re catching up on that sleep you missed out on. Would love to hear about your trip, if you want. The invitation to join me still stands💘

You watched as the message turned to delivered, and you tossed the phone back onto the counter as you awaited hearing the buzz of a reply. You got dressed and dried your hair, realizing that the bar simply wasn’t in the cards tonight, there was no way you’d get the swelling to go down around your eyes from all the crying, anyway. 

If there was anything you’d learned in the past few days, was that your feelings for Josh weren’t unwarranted, and they most definitely were real. Fuck, you cried over the guy. You haven’t cried over someone in years, let alone let yourself mope just because he wasn’t giving you the attention they normally did. It felt childish, and it felt a little silly, but the overflow of emotions set in stone that you really did care for him.

But now, a couple of hours after the text sent through and your calzone sat half-eaten on the stove, you realize that maybe he isn’t going to take you up on the offer to talk, and you’re going to have to finish your bottle of wine by yourself. 

•••

You woke up the next morning on the couch, tangled in a blanket with Friends still playing on your TV. You glance at the time seeing it is only 9:00, and you have all day to hang around before your shift at 4. Your notifications were plentiful, so you wiped the sleep from your eyes and let them adjust to the bright screen. 

A few emails and Facebook nonsense, but there at the bottom is a text from Jamie, and a notification from Josh. 

Jamie: Hey girl, things are going great at the bar, just wanted to say thanks for being real with me. 💋 I’ll let you know how the night ends…

All Josh had done was reacted to your text with a heart. Of course. 

Ya know what…

You shot up off the couch, dizzy from getting up too fast, but more than anything, rightly pissed the hell off. You were over it, over trying, over trying to be gentle with approaching the situation in a way that you thought might push Josh away even more. Fuck it, he didn’t want to talk to you, you didn’t want to talk to him. He wanted to lie to you and go to the bar with someone else, fine. All you ever wanted was his time and attention, and apparently all he ever wanted from you was a piece of ass. And hell, he never even got that. 

Whatever. You’re over it. You’re going to get a coffee, throw on the perfume that Josh used to love, and walk into your shift with him with a newfound charisma. You didn’t need this shit. All it was doing was giving you wrinkles and a reason to drink. 

•••

A week passed, the shifts with Jamie and Josh being anything but friendly since you had decided that there was nothing there with him anymore, nothing that should hold your interest enough to put you through that much emotional turmoil day in and day out. So you found other things and other people to occupy your time at work, making closer friends with the kitchen staff and a few of the other servers and hanging out with them on your nightly trips to the bar. 

It still hurt, and you knew that fake wall you had built was still entirely intact, a protective barrier to save yourself from impending heartbreak even worse than you’d already had because of Josh. But you knew you’d built it out of sticks and mud instead of brick, and you were worried that it would come tumbling down at the first instance of Josh showing you any interest again. He had become addictive like that, but you were strong, realizing your self-worth after you’d given yourself a few days to marinate in your sadness.

Josh’s cold shoulder stayed cold for the first few days after your epiphany, but eased up just a little the day that he asked you if you were going to the bar after a really busy night shift. 

“Probably. Why?” you responded coldly. 

He shrugged as the two of you stood at the expo window. “Just wondering. You don’t really ever fill the barstool beside me anymore.” 

You shot your head sideways to look at him head on, eyebrows cocked with a completely flabbergasted expression. 

“You’re joking, right?” you exclaimed as two pepperonis were set in the window. “That’s because you have Little Miss taking her spot in it most nights now, Josh. Don’t put that weird blame shit on me.” 

“Blame shit? You have just as much right to sit there as she does,” he replied, throwing you for a loop again. He hadn’t spoken to you this much in what felt like weeks. 

You turned to him fully, coming into his space as you realized you were not backing down. “You haven’t spoken to me in days, Josh. Literally ignored me at every turn, ignored my texts and my invitations to talk, you give me the cold shoulder every day…and I still have no fucking clue as to why. I thought our friendship meant more to you than that. So no, I don’t have a right to that barstool anymore, for all I know as soon as I sat down you’d get up and leave, anyway.” You gripped both the hot pizzas in your hands after stabbing the check, racing off as you left him in the dust.

Fuck that. He wants to talk now? After all this time? No. And not like this. 

If he wanted to talk, he could come to you when you both were off the clock. Lord knows you were ready to hear his side of things. 

•••

You didn’t go to the bar that night. In fact, you went straight home, contemplating taking up TJ’s offer to go out for a drive and smoke. TJ was cool, and really good company, even being the professional stoner that he was. He never made you feel like he wanted anything more than just to cruise around and listen to music, always tossing you a few prerolleds before he dropped you back off at your place.

But just as you were about to respond to his text with an “OK, be ready in ten”, you heard a car pull up in your driveway. “Damnit TJ, I’m not nearly ready to leave, yet,” you whispered to yourself as you peeked through your living room curtain. You were still in nothing but your sports bra and panties.

But it wasn’t TJ. It was Josh. 

And his car door was slamming, and he was barrelling toward your front door. What the fuck?

Within seconds, he was banging a fist on the door, yelling your name as if his life depended on it. “Y/N! Hey, answer the door!”

You thought that something may be wrong, so you quickly wrapped your robe around you and darted for the door, unlocking the deadbolt quickly as you began to panic. You thrust the door open quickly, revealing a very pissed off Josh. 

“Hey, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” you asked as he pushed past you and into the room. 

He was pacing around, his hands unknowing of where to land as they ran through his hair, and sat on his hips before rising again to run over his face. “No, I’m not really okay, Y/N… Do you wanna tell me what you’ve been telling people at work about me? Hm? The absolute fucking lies you’re spreading?”

Fuck. You swallowed hard, walking closer to him as you placed your hands gently on his arm. 

“Josh, sit down, I think we can talk abo–”

“No, I don’t want to sit down, Y/N! Why are you making things up about me? Telling people I’m a serial douchebag? That I go after every new hire and dangle them around until someone new comes along? I’m not–I don’t do that, Y/N! That’s not me at all!” he yells, and you know that you’d fucked up. You could feel the rage that you had begun to suppress rising back up in your chest now that he had brought everything to the surface again. 

You stepped back, crossing your arms defensively across your chest. You decided to speak slowly and calmly, hoping that it would bring him down a few notches so that you really could talk civilly. 

“Josh, honey, I know that I may have said some bad things, some untrue things. And I shouldn’t have done that, I shouldn’t have made up those lies, and I especially shouldn’t have told them to someone as impressionable as Jamie. And I’m so, so sorry about that. But… honestly Josh, I think I might be starting to believe my own lie, it feels more and more like reality as the days go on… don’t you think?”

He shook his head side to side, his cheeks red. “No, what do you even mean? Reality?”

“Josh, you can’t tell me you’re oblivious to what happened to us, come on now. We went from spending nearly every free second together, becoming involved in each other’s lives, and then you go on some mystery trip and come back a whole different person. You ignore me, ice me out, you don’t reply to me anymore or even treat me the same way when you do talk, so yeah, maybe I was just one of those new hires that you dangled along until something shinier and new came along! I’m not stupid, Josh, I’ve begged you to talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong. But you never did, I guess I didn’t mean as much to you as you meant to me. And honestly, it’s fucked up. I deserve better than that.” Your words were spewing, but you meant each and every last one. You got your point across, and said everything you wanted to say. Now the ball was in his court. 

Josh stayed silent as you watched his jaw tighten over and over again, the redness in his cheeks paling to a soft pink as he eventually sat down, laying his head in his hands with defeat. 

“You’ve got it all wrong, Y/N,” you could barely hear him through his ragged breathing. “All wrong.”

You rushed over to sit beside him on the couch, still feeling that same draw to him no matter how upset and angry you really were. “I’m wrong? Then tell me what the truth is, Josh. I’m right here, I’ve always been ready to listen…”

He paused for a few more seconds before finally sitting up, his eyes watery and puffed as he took a deep breath through his mouth. “I went… I went back home. To my hometown. On my trip, that’s where I was…” he trailed off, pursing his lips. “My ex, he uhm. He’d gotten ahold of me, told me he regretted everything that had happened with us, wanted to meet up and talk it out, see if there was any part of our relationship that could be mended.” He swallowed hard, you knew this was probably hard for him to say out loud. So you placed a comforting hand on his arm again, patting it a few times to let him know you were still listening. 

“So we did, we went back home and started where we had left off, talking things out and hearing each other’s side of things for the first time since he left. We were long distance, remember? So things weren’t easy even then, when I thought we were happy. We spent a few days together, very cordially. I spent the nights at my parents’, so he and I usually met for breakfast and then spent the day hiking or… whatever. Giving ourselves ample time to converse. And we did. Uh, we worked through a lot of issues that the both of us had, hang-ups that the other didn’t even know existed at the time.” 

Josh turned to finally make eye contact with you, choking back a few stray tears. “And it was good, I thought we got to a really good place. But. The time came for us to have to leave, and… it uh. Really didn’t go as planned, our goodbye. It felt like a real, actual goodbye. Like we’d spent the time together to air our grievances, but all it did was solidify our decision to keep things the way they had ended up. Completely separated.”

Ah. Well, fuck. 

“Josh honey, I’m so sorry… that must have been really hard,” you say, feeling so sorrowful for him. 

“It wasn’t fun, but I also didn’t go there thinking that one little trip would magically make things good again. I didn’t even really want them to be good again, I just hated leaving things the way we had, hanging by a thread and unsealed like that. Didn’t feel healthy,” he admitted. “I still had things to say.”

He bit his lips in again. “But I realized something the minute I disconnected from him, Y/N…I realized that I’d left you in the exact same predicament that he had left me in. Here, alone, with no explanation of where I had gone. And that hurt me more than anything.” You were surprised, extremely blindsided by this…what? He felt bad for leaving you?

“Josh, I’m confused though, you’ve been back home for days, why have you been icing me out if you felt bad for leaving me like that?” you asked. 

“Because, Y/N,” he stood up, “I’ve never had anyone throw me into a mix so horrifyingly perfect as the one you throw me into every single day. Never.”

You placed your hands on the couch beside you. “What? What do you—“

“You scare the ever loving hell out of me, Y/N. You’re—you’re fucking perfect, in every single sense of the word. You’re beautiful, caring, hilarious… You make me feel more seen than any other human I’ve ever met,” he said, standing before you, now. “I’m terrified of you, Y/N.”

Your chest suddenly felt hollow, and your limbs felt heavier than weights. Nothing was making sense…nothing was adding up. 

“Then why haven’t you talked to me, Josh? Until right now? If I’m all those things for you, why didn’t you know that you could come to me and explain instead of making me feel so stupid the past few weeks?” you defend yourself. “I missed you, I told you that.”

“Because, Y/N, because… I’m a dumb fucking guy, I guess. I thought if I ignored you, maybe things would go away. Maybe I could lie to myself and say that I was making it all up in my head. I wasn’t ready to move on, Y/N. I wasn’t ready to dive back in again and settle down. You know I hate fucking change. I thought that meeting up with him would distract me from you, I guess. Give me something else to focus on. But it didn’t. It didn’t work at all. It only made me realize how much better you are than he ever was to me. So I needed to push you away, see if I could escape from your fucking chokehold on me instead of just letting myself swim into it. But, I swear to god, these last few days I realized my stupid plan wasn’t working. And I can’t get you out of my head. No matter how hard I fucking try.”

Another bombshell. They just kept fucking falling. 

“So then, at the bar tonight, I was trying one last ditch attempt at it. Seeing if I could go one whole night without typing up a reply to you, only to catch myself and erase it again. I needed to see if I could do it. But then, Jamie got too drunk and told me what you said about me, how I tried to swoop in on new hires and take them home, then do nothing but break their hearts. She told me you said I was a real dick, Y/N. Told the rest of the guys about it, too. Had them all starting to believe it. So it pissed me off. I told them that wasn’t true, I’d never treat anyone that way. Told them they could believe what they wanted, but my intentions and my character would never reflect that. Then I left, and here I am. Realizing that I had done that exact thing to you, Y/N. Only with a lot more twists and turns than they were aware of.”

“Josh, I never meant for that rumor to take hold, or spread…I—I was so upset, so jealous that she was going after you, and you were giving her the attention. I was stupid, and I regret it. I promise tomorrow I will make it all right. I’ll tell everyone I made it up,” you tell him, your words holding truth. You did feel shitty about it. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” Josh finally muttered after a few seconds of silence. “I have no excuses as to why I treated you that way, other than saying that I made a really dumb decision. You deserved better than that, but I also deserve to not have lies made up about me and my integrity.”

You nodded, tears starting to fall from your eyes, too. “I know, Josh. I’ll fix it. I’ll fix it.”

You feel his hand come up to catch the tear before it falls, the gentle contact feeling like a hundred lives of love. “I’ll fix it too, Y/N. I promise, I will. I missed you, I missed you so bad,” he said, finally wrapping his arms all the way around your neck, pulling you into him in the warmest embrace you’d felt in ages, finally breaking through the ice and back into his swirling mix of happy and sweet. 

“I missed you too, Josh. Please believe me…I hated this separation from you, it didn’t feel right.”

“I know, it didn’t feel right to me either. Do you know how hard it was to stay away from you like that?” he said, his voice choking into your shoulder as you held each other. 

“No one forced you to do that, Josh,” you said, pulling away to look at him. “You’re right, you made a dumb fucking guy decision, you know that you could have talked to me about it, you know that if you wanted our relationship to move into something else, I would have been ready to do so however you wanted. I never would have guilted you or pulled you into something that we both didn’t think was right.”

“I know. I know I know. I can see that, now. Now that you held a mirror up in front of my face,” he laughed a little.

A silence fell between the two of you as you both sat in your guilt, realizing your faults on all ends of the spectrum. Neither of you had made good, conscious decisions, but at least neither of you were too proud to admit to it and finally take the responsibility. 

Finally, you gathered the courage to ask… the real root of what could have been giving you a hint to this all along. 

“Is that why you won’t sleep with me?” you asked, your voice small and quiet.

The emotion that came over his features nearly broke you in two, his eyes falling and his mouth puckering up into the most pitiful pout. He took a quick breath, and your hands in his, his shoulders slumping forward as he gathered his own courage to answer. 

“I think so…” He trailed off, his expression suddenly looking like his mind was racing with recognition of his innermost thoughts. “I actually… Probably so. I don’t think I have ever consciously decided that…” his eyes were scanning and darting around as if his mouth couldn’t keep up with his mind. “I want you, Y/N, I hope to god that you know that. I have wanted that with you for a long, long time. That shared experience. I guess I… had some type of wall built up, some kind of false narrative in my head that once we crossed that threshold, there wouldn’t be any looking back. Our fate would be sealed.”

You grinned, “Josh, baby, that’s ridiculous.”

“Ugh, I know,” he huffed. “But is it really, though? Sex can be just as mental for men as it is for women, trust me,” he explained.

“I’m sure, I’m sure,” you nodded. 

“I guess I thought that if… If I had you like that, then my feelings would somehow be locked in, and I just…”

“You weren’t ready for that,” you replied. 

He shook his head slowly, side to side as he eyed you again with pity. “Guess I really wasn’t. But, spending that time back home with him felt so… I dunno, bleak? Like we were both faking it to appease the other. I don’t hate him, and I think that’s mutual…we just needed to realize that maybe we aren’t what each other needed anymore so that we could both move forward in our lives. On to better things.”

“That makes sense,” you nodded in return. “I totally get that.”

Another silence fell on the both of you as you relaxed back onto your couch, re-covering yourself with the robe you’d thrown on. Josh mimicked your action, the back of his neck hitting the plush cushions of your couch as he fell back with a huff. “So, what now?”

You shrugged, not having much of a clue seeing as how the two of you hadn’t spoken this much in weeks. Your heart was still torn to shreds, feeling beaten down and kicked around after enduring so much time of tension. But for Josh, you knew you would find the patience somewhere. You just hoped he would do the same for you.

“Can we just sit?” he asked, leaning down to untie his shoelaces. 

“You’re not gonna go back to the bar?” you asked, thrown off yet again. Even after the conversation, it still felt like he was distant. 

He scrunched up his face in distaste as he tossed his shoes into the corner, pulling the blanket down off the back of your couch. “No, was kinda lame there tonight. Plus I really like Jamie, but if she said the phrase ‘ya know’ to me one more time…”

You grunted a laugh, knowing exactly what he was talking about. “Ah come on Josh, she’s sweet,” you said cheekily as he pulled the blanket over to cover your legs.

“Never said she wasn’t sweet. She just… thinks our work friendship is going to turn into something else, and it’s just not. I was just trying to be the nice guy, ya know?”

You playfully slapped him across the arm as the two of you leaned back into the cushions, fully facing one another now as you scooted yourself closer to him. His warmth. His hand habitually gripping both of your bent knees onto his lap. 

“You are the nice guy, Josh. That’s what I love about you. You made me feel comfortable there before anyone else did. And you were just doing the same for Jamie,” you explained, all the while knowing that from the outside looking in, it truly really might’ve looked like Josh was a serial douche bag. “I’m just glad you really aren’t what I made you out to be.”

“No, m’not,” he breathed, looking across the room blindly. “I swear, I never expected to fall for you so hard, Y/N. I really missed our times, I’m sorry I wasn’t here to keep them going. Keep you happy.”

You let your hand fall to the crown of his head, ringing his curls around your fingers mindlessly as your mind rushed with how you normally used to spend these nights, wrapped up in each other so explicitly that you sometimes wondered if you’d ever tire of one another. Now you know that you wouldn’t have. Your pull to him was powerful and so intense that when the cable was cut you were positive you’d gone blind, wandering around without your muse to keep your mind at ease. His hand was drifting up and down your barren leg, now, sending a shiver through you that you hoped he didn’t catch on to.

“S’okay, Josh. I’m sorry, too. It’s been lonely without you.” You leaned your forehead down toward him, finally breathing him in again for the first time in so long. His scent felt like home.

He exhaled, relaxing his own forehead against yours as his hands hugged you in a little tighter. Just being near him again had you completely forgetting about all the bad things, all the ill feelings that have plagued you these past couple of weeks. Your body was already reacting to his touch, the magnetism toward him gaining strength with each passing second. 

“Will you let me come home, Y/N?”

Your heart fell off it’s high horse, tumbling down into the pit of your stomach as you replayed his words in your mind, letting them soak in like peeks of sunshine through the trees. He thought of you as home, too. 

“Yeah baby, you can come home,” you breathed, the elation filling you so fully that you couldn’t stop your lips from crashing onto his, your hand curling in his hair and pulling him in close. His deep inhale at the surprise of your actions let you know that he had been wanting this maybe even more than you had, his hand moving from your knees to harshly trailing up your thigh. You pulled away after the quick connection, wanting nothing more than to see the expression on his face after you had made the surprise move.

He grit his teeth as you realized his eyes had gone dark, his lips wet and puffed just from the short, forceful kiss. “Thank god,” he breathed with a rattle, reaching both his hands down to your waist to pick you up with ease, bringing you to straddle your knees across his lap. 

“Jo–” you could barely get his name out before he was crashing onto you again, his hands already squeezing tightly at your thighs as you rested your hands on his shoulders. He craned forward, bringing the kiss into something more serious as his tongue began dancing with yours, still burning and sweet with whatever drink he had chosen at the bar before Jamie’s barstool confessional sent him raging mad toward your house.

God, you had fucking missed him so badly. More than you had even noticed, you guessed, as you finally felt the familiar burning touch of his fingertips working their way up your legs to your hips and around to your back as you allowed your robe to fall open. Everything finally felt right again. 

Breaking away from his kiss seemed like a sin so wretched that you didn’t dare commit it as the honeyed taste of him ravished your body for the first time in so long. The scene quickly became much more wanting than it was just seconds ago, a mess of flailing hands and arms reaching and grabbing and making up for lost time. 

You felt your lungs begin to want to gasp for air, and just as you couldn’t take the lack of oxygen any longer, Josh broke away, his mouth immediately reconnecting to your throat. Your head tilted back on its own as the wetness of his mouth peppered kisses down the length of it, finally landing between your breasts. His hooded eyes peered at you through his thick lashes, the smirk on his face asking you permission to go a little further, so of course you nodded. Is hands gripped the cups of your sports bra, freeing your tits of their confines as he pressed his face lovingly between them, his tongue drifting across one and to the other as he lightly teased your nipples. 

You giggled at the touch, feeling giddy and tickled as he switched between light nips and harsh kisses, praising one of his favorite parts of your body that he had so missed. His hands didn’t forget their places on your hips, jerking you forward to press against him as you straddled. Your legs spread a bit wider as pleasure began overtaking your mindset instead of it reeling itself to death. Excitement was soon overtaken by something much more sinister. You could feel him hard beneath you, as you so often did, and you wondered if things were leading toward something else tonight. 

You wouldn’t hold it against him if not, knowing that things are still touchy and probably a bit filtered for him. And for you. But also, if you started to see things going in that direction, you most definitely wouldn’t say no. 

Your body rolled into him, instantly pushing your core down onto him in search of furthering it’s own pleasure. He moaned at the feeling, jerking his hips up as you began to grind a little. You wouldn’t know that he was falling in love with not only the visual of you on top of him…with only the barrier of his jeans and your underwear making the disconnect that he had so desperately wanted to fulfill, but he was also falling in love with the feeling of the essence of you. Your absence from one another had forced him into a rut he didn’t even know he was in, looking for distractions and diversions to take his mind elsewhere… anything to get the vision of your face from his mind while he figured himself out. 

But at least he made the admission. It had lifted a weight off of him that he hadn’t realized was forcing him down into the ground like heavy gravity, the guilt of leaving you in the dust because of his own disposition making him feel like shit. So he decided to seize it, not letting one more second pass that didn’t include you, his one and only stimulation in life. In only the span of a couple of weeks, he’d learned what life felt like without you in it, and he’d be damned if he went any further without living each and every second enraptured in your goodness. 

“Fuck, I missed you…” Josh mumbled as he pulled you to him, whispering in your ear as he trailed kisses down the column of your neck. “I’m so sorry baby, this is where I belong, I swear to god it is…”

With his words, you grinded down harder onto him, your hands tangled in his hair and massaging on his shoulders as you pressed yourself harder. “Mmm,” you agreed, the tiniest whimper falling from your lips as he bit down a little on your right nipple. “I missed you more… Missed this the most…” you admitted through already clouded visions of what was to come next. 

Within seconds Josh was pulling the shoulders of your robe down, watching as the front tie finally loosened and the fabric pooled around your waist. Josh hissed a harsh growl through his teeth as he pulled back, meeting your eyes with a devilish glare. His jaw tightened hard as his the fingertips of his right hand trailed down your chest and stomach, a barely-there touch that had your body shuddering. Then his fingers landed right on your heat, his middle finger pressing against your clit and making tiny circles over your underwear. You let out a quiet shriek at his touch, laughing through a breath as he ripped your panties to the side, hooking them in his grasp while his thumb finally made contact in the exact place you wanted him. 

Your voice was shrill as the pad of his thumb went to work, the pressure and the movement so perfect it was like you hadn’t spent any time apart, at all. Your wrist lazily rested on his shoulder as you closed your eyes, leaning back to give him better access. You felt your neck roll a little as your hips began to swirl on his hand, your wetness already pooling and falling into your panties. “Fuck, Josh…” you moaned, slightly embarrassed by hearing yourself fall apart already. 

“Mmmhm… fuck, you don’t know how good it sounds to hear my name like that…” he said, jutting his hips up onto you. He pulled your panties even tighter, letting his middle finger play at your entrance while the rushing of his thumb never stopped. “God you’re already there for me, aren’t you baby? You look so good right here…”

Your sounds quickly turn into desperation as his middle finger presses further inside, the slight stretch making your hand grip onto his shoulder while the other one rests on his knee behind you for stability. Luckily, with the lack of actual sex with Josh, the two of you had become extremely well-versed in the other forms of the act, becoming professionals with pleasing the other in all ways but one. His finger began to pump slowly, working itself inside you as he hooked it and perfectly brushed the most sensitive spot deep inside you. Your mind fuzzed with static as you realized you were near the peak already; how quickly he knew exactly how to get you there. 

You wanted more, you wanted all of him, you always had. But you knew better now that to push the issue like you used to. If it was going to happen, it was going to be his decision. You’d bargain that he knew exactly where you stood on the matter. 

You felt your teeth digging into your bottom lip as your hips swirled, the pleasure already blinding as you’d gone so long without the touch of his hands. His free hand was still gripping your waist and guiding your movements, pulling you even more harshly against his still-clothed length. 

Like he had read your mind, he suddenly stopped, gently pulling himself from you and pushing you backward a little to stand up. The loss of his touch made you want to scream as the delicious buildup was beginning to be too much, anyway. So you stood, willing to go along with whatever it was he wanted, tonight. He stood up as well and undid his belt, letting his pants fall from his waist and onto the floor.

You helped him by jerking at the bottom hem of his shirt, ripping it up over his head and dispensing it on the floor. You’d forgotten just how beautiful he was underneath his clothes, his torso chiseled and arms strong and inviting. His chest was heaving at the sight of you and the mess of the situation, and if you didn’t know any better you’d think that he was unaware the night would end up here, just the same as you were. 

Just from the light in his eyes though, you could tell that he didn’t have any regrets. You made the move to push him back down onto the couch, wasting no time in placing your open palm against his length while connecting your mouth with his again. It was like his sweetness had a new air of addiction to it, now that all of your feelings for one another had begun to come uncovered. You hadn’t brushed by the fact that he had admitted his feelings for you were stronger than he’d even noticed, and you were yet to tell him that you had felt the same, all this time. 

As he fell back into his seat, letting you take charge this time, you snaked your legs across him again and landed on your knees, craning high above him as your hand never left his length. You kneaded and squeezed, feeling him grow harder and harder as you pleased him, kissing him hard again. He whimpered quietly into your mouth and it nearly sent you back into that same frame of mind again, but you wanted to stay clear-headed. 

“You drive me fuckin’ crazy, Josh. You know that?” you smiled onto him, making his eyelashes flutter as he suckled at your bottom lip. “Everything about you.”

“Is that a good thing? Or,” he grinned, his hands finding their place on your hips again.

“It is now,” you crooned. “I was crazy mad before… Crazy sad that you’d iced me out… But before all that I was just crazy into you. Wanted you around all the time, wanted your full attention, wanted you to be able to call me yours and no one else’s.” You weren’t sure where you were going with the admission, but you had to meet him on his level after he’d bared a bit of his soul to you. You leaned down to avoid his eyes just in case he was nervous, and you began lightly digging your teeth into his shoulder as you continued sneaking your hand into his boxer briefs.

“Fuck, Y/N,” he shuddered at your touch, his body crunching in on itself from the contact. “Yes…”

Your hand gripped his shaft and worked its way up his length, and you found that your hand had missed the feeling of him, too. You lightly massaged his tip, making his whole body rush and writhe beneath you. “Feel good, baby? Always wanna make you feel good, missed hearing your sounds…” you said, taking back a little bit of that control to urge him on. 

You stayed this way for another minute or so, working him up just as he had done for you. He was already impossibly hard in your hand, and you could tell he was nearing that point, his teeth biting into your shoulder and his hand pulling you down to brush against him at every pause in your movement. The both of you had reached points of ferality, your hunger for each other coming back full force. 

His hand reached behind you and gripped your ass hard, pulling at the muscle with such tension it almost hurt. But that’s how you knew that he was having a hard time keeping it together. Your heart raced in your chest as you felt his breathing stagger, the closeness and intimacy both teetering on the edge of becoming something more than either of you had bargained for tonight. 

“Let’s go… into your bedroom. Let’s go,” he demanded, making moves to lift you from your straddle. 

He stood tall with you in his arms, your legs wrapped tightly around him so you didn’t fall. 

“Are–Are you sure, Josh?” you asked, halfway knowing that this might be the moment you’ve been waiting for, but also one hundred percent ready to keep taking things slow, no matter how bad your body craved him. 

“Positive. I’m tired of this… I want… No, I need you, Y/N,” he explained, making his way toward your bedroom door. 

He kicked it closed behind him before dispersing you on the mattress, bouncing a few times as he flicked the light off to darken the room almost completely. All you could see was his perfect silhouette from the ambient light from the window, kicking his boxers all the way off before shifting them to the side. You removed your own bra and tossed it aside as you felt the familiar feeling of him reaching under you to pull you back to the edge of your bed. He ripped your panties off and tossed them away, too, before rubbing his hands along the insides of your thighs, making them fall apart. 

“One more taste of you, though,” he growled before connecting his tongue to your soaked core. 

“Oh my god, Josh… fuck…” you cried rather loudly as your hands found his locks. You pulled at them without a lick of shyness, wanting him buried between your legs like you had imagined for nights on end during the time spent without him. His tongue jumped into action as he licked up all your wetness, sending himself deeper and deeper inside you, his actions pointed and messy all at the same time. 

“Mmm,” he crowed, and you knew then that he truly did miss this just as much as you did. There was nothing like it. Nothing like him. No one had ever given you the same amount of pleasure and adoration as he had. And you hoped to god that he was here to stay, this time. 

Your lower belly began tightening with waves of pleasure, but you suspected that it was more due to the excitement that you were finally going to experience him for all that he was, as raw and delicious and perfect as you had always imagined. You fought back the euphoria that he was already quickly getting you to, knowing that you wanted to savor this feeling for all that it was worth. 

He could tell you were close as you began actively trying to calm your breathing, stifling away any impending concentration on trying not to orgasm. 

He took that as his cue to push you further back on the bed, crawling his way up your body as the two of you finally met, completely unclothed and baring your souls to one another. Finally. 

“Josh, please don’t feel like you have to do this, I completely understand,” you reasoned as he guided his tip up through your soaked folds. Just that sensation alone had your eyes rolling back in your head. God that was so fucking… 

“I want to, god damnit, I need you,” he said, his voice chopped with desire. “Been waiting too long for this, for you…”

Your legs spread wider for him as he teased you, collecting up your wetness and savoring the feeling of the two of you finally connecting. Your body was burning with want, and you were terrified that you would be close to the edge again as soon as he entered you, but you held out hope. 

“I’m fucking over the just friends shit, Y/N. I’m done with it. I can’t keep lying to you, lying to myself…” he raised up on his elbow to get a better look at your face as he pulled a few stray hairs clear. “Tell me you feel the same…”

“Are you fucking kidding me, Josh? I’ve wanted you since the second I met you, since the day you talked me off the edge in the walk-in…” you hummed. “Something different about you, and I knew it. Been craving you ever since…”

“Craving me, huh?” he huffed with a heavy air of confidence. “Awfully powerful emotion.”

You pursed your lips as you shook your head, your hips rutting into his touch. “More than a craving. You make me think about shit, make me want a future. No one else has ever understood me like you do, baby. And we’ve got so much more to learn about each other…”

He knew you were right. Things had been this good for a while now, and if it weren’t for this latest hiccup, the two of you would have been on the road to oblivion together, sharing more than just work secrets and pleasure-filled evenings after too many drinks at the bar. 

“I’m serious, Y/N. I wanna be more with you,” he admitted with a harsh swallow. He pressed himself inside you just a little, giving you a sliver of a taste of what else he had to offer. 

“Then let’s do it, let’s be more,” you agreed, positive of the fact that you could see right through your current lust for him and into what you believe will be a healthy, steady relationship. 

“Yeah?” he asked, and you could tell he was smiling. “You sure?”

“Never been more positive,” you relayed as he pressed a little further, making your skin crawl with the delicious satisfaction of getting exactly what you wanted, after all this time. 

Josh sweetly pressed his lips to yours, and pressed himself inside you, inch by delicious inch until he was fully seated. 

Finally, finally.

There wasn’t any way to describe how it felt, only whispers of sounds and attempted strings of letters meant to be words falling from both of your lips as you let yourselves relish in the thrill. Cloud nine didn’t even begin to explain it, and euphoria was way behind in the string of feelings that your mind, body, and soul were experiencing. 

It was as if he completed you in ways that you didn’t know needed completing, filling in all your empty spaces and wholly baring his entirety to you in a way that only he could.  

“Fuckkkkkk…” was all you could mutter, and a sharp inhale was all he could breathe, his jaw hanging agape as he took you in. 

He began moving inside you, pulling out ever so slowly and then pushing back in again with light force. Electric shocks filled your system and deep rolls of pleasure threatened your psyche, making you positively dizzy with overwhelming satisfaction. Your hand jolted up to your own hair, pulling it back from your face as you fought with desperation. There was no way he felt this good…

“Good baby?” he asked quietly in your ear, beginning to pick up a little bit of a pace. 

“Fucking…unreal, Josh,” you mumbled, having trouble formulating anything coherent. 

“You’re fucking perfect Y/N, I swear to god…” he breathed as he raised up on both hands, steadying himself above you as he twisted his hips to a new angle. He propped up on his knee as he began rolling his hips, each thrust bottoming out and hitting you impossibly deeper each time. He reached behind him and pulled your leg up to rest around his waist, the new angle making you cry out in a sweet pain for just a second until he worked you through it. 

The sounds bouncing off the walls were borderline embarrassing, but neither of you cared. You were locked in, completely out of control and in it at the same time as your bodies ravished one another beyond any point of authority. It was intense, and it was uncontrolled, but damn if it wasn’t beyond every single thing you had ever imagined. He leaned down on his elbows to put his face close to yours, bringing you into a deep and sweet kiss. Nothing could have prepared you for this. You always knew you had chemistry, but this…

He picked up speed for a minute or so as you cried out, his own sounds beginning to creep through his chest and into the hot air of the room. Half of you wanted to push him to his back and let you take over, but you’d wager that he wanted this. Wanted to continue to prove to himself that this was the right decision, tonight. And hopefully, for a long time to come. 

He suddenly slowed, just as you felt the knot in your stomach tightening to a point of no return, and began to slowly and steadily pump in and out of you. The crude sounds suddenly ceased, and you were left with him swaying his hips in a motion not unlike the waves crashing onto the sand, lazy and slow and with tempo. 

“Josh, I feel…” you couldn’t even get the words out as your throat had gone dry, aching itself as you gasped for air. You shook the thought and met his eyes, full of so much adoration you felt like you could cry. 

“Me too, baby, me too…” he agreed as he continued on with gently and deeply kissing you, letting his tongue keep in rhythm with his hips. There was nothing you could think of that could top this feeling, except the notion that maybe you could do this again and again and again, letting your love for Josh grow like a watered seed in early spring. There was nothing you wanted more than to watch him grow into your counterpart, and you a person he could positively call his. “Just let me know what you want, it’s yours…”

“Just want you, just want this…all the time…” you begged, feeling your insides begin to twist. He nodded hard, agreeing with you as he let out a sweet ‘mhmm’.

“You feel so good baby, so perfect…” he sang after a few seconds, his voice hanging on for dear life as he sat back on his heels, giving him a full view of you. His hand drifted down to your core again, tracing harsh circles over your clit as he continued his thrusts. The added stimulation made your head want to explode. He pulled your ankles up to rest on his shoulders, leaning in to you and allowing for a much deeper, much more challenging position. “So fuckin’ tight,” he grit, his teeth grinding against one another as he began to lose the composure of his patterned thrusts. 

“Josh, fuck…” you cried pitifully, your hands digging hard into the muscles of his shoulders. “Keep going keep going…”

“It’s yours, baby, let me have it…” he commanded, and you knew right then you’d give him anything he’d ever ask for. His eyes were sparkling and dark in the dim light of the room, and the thin sheen of sweat on his forehead made you dizzy with a new attraction to him. He’d never know how beautiful he really is. 

You felt your abdomen tighten again as you fluttered around him, letting him know that you were close. He began picking up speed again as his hips pounded into the backs of your legs, and you could feel him twitching deep inside you. You began humming through the impending pleasure, your nails digging hard into his back as you let the buildup overtake you. 

His chest grunted in pleasure as you both raced for the finish line, knowing that the other was right there alongside. It overtook you in more ways than one, your body tightening in on his as you let yourself feel it wrapping around your bones, around your entire being. He felt better than anything you could have ever imagined. Anything anyone else could have ever promised. You paid close attention to how his body reacted to his own release, shaking and crying out in the most beautiful song you’d ever heard. 

And it was all because of you. 

When all was said and done and the both of you returned to a place of coherency, you could do nothing but smile ear to ear as his glazed-over eyes took you in, placing tiny sweet kisses all over your face as he stayed buried inside you, not wanting to part. 

You both lazed for what felt like an hour, nestling in under the covers after a quick cleanup in the bathroom. Josh’s voice never raised above a whisper for the rest of the night, his sweet nothings making your heart swell with gratitude for him. Finally, the one thing you’d been wanting all along, and what Josh had unknowingly been too afraid to to jump to, finally happening in such a beautiful way the both of you had no idea why you waited so long.

“Hope I made your decision worthwhile,” you bit, a bit shy to be laying the situation back out on the table. 

“Psssh… you surpassed any caution that I might have held, babe. Perfect…in every way.” His hand laid across your cheek as his thumb brushed across the soft skin, basking in the afterglow that he now wished he would have never held back on. “M’sorry we didn’t do that sooner, I guess… I guess you were right. I was too scared of my own shadow. Should have been showing you how I felt all along.”

“You were worth every single second of the wait, Josh. Maybe it wasn’t meant to happen til now,” you suggested, realizing that maybe the both of you needed that bit of separation to let yourselves feel that the lack of closeness wasn’t rational, at all. 

He took you up in his arms, pulling you in close to his chest. You breathed him in, letting yourself relax into his scent and his comfort. “You gonna let me call you mine, now?” he asked, his voice so quiet you barely heard him. 

But his words made your chest blossom with admiration. The one thing that’s made the most sense in your new life, finally coming to fruition. 

“I’ve always been yours, Josh. Since my first day at Angelo’s,” you giggled across the pillow as you lifted your leg to lazily drop over his hip. 

He laughed out loud, rolling to his back a little as his hand lovingly fell to caress your thigh. His elbow fell across his face as he yawned, the effects of the night finally taking hold over him. 

“Ten,” he said matter of factly. 

“What?” you asked through your own yawn. 

“I give you a ten. Nothing more, nothing less,” he uncovered his eyes and rolled to kiss your forehead, and then your nose, and then your lips. Everything about the gesture made you warm with love for him, grateful for the man that finally let himself feel. 

“My girl, the perfect ten.”

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[shixcherie]

Mutal Midnight Madness | Choi San, Jung Wooyoung, Kang Yeosang ☆

~ ~ call me chérie ☆

Navigation | Kinktober List

☆Day 23 : Phone Sex

↬ [ Synopsis ] : After a hectic day at work, you decide to hop on a video call with your boyfriends, Yeosang, Wooyoung, and San. A special gift from San becomes your source of joy, while the boys keep you entertained all night.

☆Word Count : 2.9k ☆Genre : Smut, Idol-Au, Crack. ☆Pairing : Idol! Wooyoung x Idol! San x Idol! Yeosang x Stylist! F.Reader

☆☆☆WARNINGS : mdni!, pure Smut (18+), y/n was a stylist for the boys, menace WooSanSang, flirty texts on crack (ss inside for u my loves! 😉 ), use of sex toys (vibrator), phone sex, boys are busy with their “It’s You” mv while y/n is in Italy for her fashion show, lots of riling up, hella suggestive, edging, praise, petnames (cutie, kitten, baby, babygirl )

NOTE : Day 23 with my boys WooSanSang for you all. I am grinding hard to catch up because I was busy with exams so now I am working hard to finish this kinktober on time.

Hope y’all enjoy this piece, I loved writing it so much. I loved writing those flirty msgs on crack so have fun (ss are there waiting for you). Hope you enjoy and show some love to this ma cheries , I have tried something different.

“Y/n, how is the collection coming together ?” your collection director Amanda, asked as you diligently worked on your first clothing collection, set to be presented at Milan Fashion Week. After working as a stylist for four years, you were finally getting the chance to release your own collection.

“Yeah, it’s coming together really well.” you replied to Amanda, just as your phone pinged with a notification. You quickly turned it off.

“I’m already halfway done with the collection, Amanda. Just a few more pieces and some accessories I have planned. Once those are designed, I’ll be completely finished,” you continued, a satisfied smile spreading across Amanda’s face as she admired your work.

She noted the intricate details you’d incorporated, impressed by how you’d pulled inspiration from fantasy elements while still keeping the pieces wearable—a challenge you had tackled successfully.

“Really amazing work, Y/n. The collection truly feels like one cohesive piece, with different moving parts that all contribute to the main message, pulling it together beautifully.” she complimented you as your phone pinged again. You let out a nervous chuckle, quickly turning it off once more.

“Thank you so much, Amanda. I really hope this collection makes an impact on the Milan runway,” you replied, hoping it would be your big break into the glamorous world of fashion. Another ping.

“I’m sure it will. This might be the star collection of the season, given how diverse it is. It will definitely appeal to a wide audience.” she said. Your phone pinged yet again. “Y/n… that sounds like an important message. Why don’t you check it?” she urged.

“Oh, no, it’s nothing, Amanda. Just a few friends from Korea. You remember when I worked as a stylist there? It’s just them,” you replied, carefully hiding the fact that these friends were actually members of a famous boyband called Ateez.

“Ahh… I do remember. Anyway, I won’t take up more of your time. Good luck hun,” Amanda said before leaving the room. You took a deep breath, only to be startled by another ping on your phone.

A year ago, you had worked as a stylist for KQ Entertainment. Specifically, you were responsible for styling Wooyoung and San. With your social personality, you quickly became close friends with them—they enjoyed your company and admired the outfits you put together for them. Yeosang also became your responsibility to style when his stylist suddenly quit, and that’s where this beautiful, messy journey began: feelings, sneaky one-night stands, and a secret relationship that followed you to Milan. You quit your job as a stylist after a few months when an incredible opportunity arose to work on your own collection under Amanda. Leaving Korea, you moved to Italy but kept in touch with the boys, bound by the fun evenings and party-filled nights you had shared with them.

Finally, you opened the message that had your phone buzzing nonstop. Your eyes lit up at the notifications from your favorite group chat with the boys: Sinners Squad (you all thought the name was kind of silly, but it definitely fit whatever the four of you had going on, so you decided to keep it).

After a hectic evening, you finally returned home, eager for your video call with the boys. You missed them so much, and knowing they were busy shooting the “It’s You” music video only made you crave their presence more. The fact that they still made time for you, despite their hectic schedules, sent a rush of warmth through you.

What started as a no-strings-attached arrangement quickly spiraled into something thrilling. Playful flirting and heated exchanges deepened your bond, and memories of sneaky one-night stands ignited delicious tension between you. Their teasing words dripped with double meanings, leaving you breathless and craving more.

You all respected each other's craft, but the undeniable chemistry kept you longing for those stolen moments together. Their virtual support was laced with flirtation, and you often found yourself blushing at their suggestive comments, knowing this connection was anything but ordinary.

Now, their support came through sultry phone calls and steamy video chats, with each word of affirmation only intensifying the longing you felt for them. The group chat buzzed with playful banter, flirty remarks, and a few cheeky emojis that left you blushing, reminding you of the passionate yet playful connection you all shared.

Finishing your dinner, you freshened up, changing into your night clothes just as your phone lit up. A video call from the boys. Smiling, you picked up the call to find Yeosang’s beautiful, makeup-free face greeting you with a huge smile. In the background, you could hear Wooyoung yelling at Yeosang to stop showing him while he struggled to pull on his pants.

What the heck are you doing, Woo ?

Wooyoung finally managed to pull on his pants, his mischievous grin returning. "Okay okay…I’m decent now. But can you blame me ? This is a very important video call."

You raised an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at your lips. "Important, huh ? What are you guys planning ? " as you wiggled your eyebrows at them.

Laughing at your antics, Yeosang leaned closer to the camera, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "Yeah, Wooyoung, spill it! Are you going to suggest something scandalous ?"

Just then, San entered the frame, balancing a tray piled high with midnight snacks. “I brought snacks! I figured you guys could use some fuel for whatever trouble Woo was planning.”

“Perfect timing, San!” Wooyoung exclaimed, leaning back in his chair. “We were just about to decide how to spice up this call.”

“Oh really ?” you teased, leaning closer to your camera. “And what did you have in mind?”

Wooyoung’s grin widened. “How about a little game ? I dare you to tell us your wildest fashion story, and we’ll share ours too. Loser has to do a forfeit. Maybe a little strip tease for the camera ?” His challenge was way exciting to say no to do. Nodding you head, you wondered what you could share that will excite them.

You laughed, feeling your cheeks heat up as a few stories swirled in your mind. “You really think I’d lose to you guys?” You shot back at them as Yeosang’s grin widened at you confidence.

San set the snacks down, a playful glint in his eye. “If you think you can handle the competition, then bring it on kitten!” He paused to wink at you before a mischievous smile dawned his face, “But just so you know, I’m pretty good at this.”

Yeosang chimed in, teasingly, “Just remember, Y/n, we have experience in the wild department. Are you ready to lose cutie ?” You chuckled but did not back down from the fun as a long night of spicy and fun conversations awaited you.

“Game on, boys.” you said, feeling the adrenaline rush as you prepared to share your wildest story. “But just so you know, I’m not going down without a fight.”

Wooyoung chuckled, leaning forward,eyes shining with mischief. “I like a girl who’s confident. This is going to be fun, baby.”

Everyone chuckled at his excitement while you set the phone on the bed in a way that they could get a full body view of you while they adjusted their phone to make it a hands free experience.

Wooyoung finally managed to pull on his pants, his mischievous grin returning. "Okay, okay... I’m decent now. But can you blame me? This is a very important video call."

You raised an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at your lips. "Important, huh? What are you guys planning?" You wiggled your eyebrows at them.

Laughing at your antics, Yeosang leaned closer to the camera, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "Yeah, Wooyoung, spill it! Are you going to suggest something scandalous?"

Just then, San entered the frame, balancing a tray piled high with midnight snacks. “I brought snacks! Figured you guys could use some fuel for whatever trouble Woo was planning.”

“Perfect timing, San!” Wooyoung exclaimed, leaning back in his chair. “We were just about to decide how to spice up this call.”

“Oh really?” you teased, leaning closer to your camera. “And what did you have in mind?”

Wooyoung’s grin widened. “How about a little game? I dare you to tell us your wildest fashion story, and we’ll share ours too. Loser has to do a forfeit. Maybe a little strip tease for the camera?” His challenge was way too exciting to say no to. Nodding your head, you wondered what story you could share that would excite them.

You laughed, feeling your cheeks heat up as a few stories swirled in your mind. “You really think I’d lose to you guys ?” you shot back as Yeosang’s grin widened at your confidence.

San set the snacks down, a playful glint in his eye. “If you think you can handle the competition, then bring it on, kitten!” He paused to wink at you before a mischievous smile crossed his face. “But just so you know, I’m pretty good at this.”

Yeosang chimed in, teasingly, “Just remember, Y/n, we have experience in the wild department. Are you ready to lose, cutie?” You chuckled but didn’t back down from the fun, as a long night of spicy and entertaining conversation awaited.

“Game on, boys,” you said, feeling the adrenaline rush as you prepared to share your wildest story. “But just so you know, I’m not going down without a fight.”

Wooyoung chuckled, leaning forward, his eyes shining with mischief. “I like a girl who’s confident. This is going to be fun, baby.”

Everyone laughed at his excitement while you set the phone on the bed, angling it to give them a full view of you, as they adjusted their phones to make it a hands-free experience.

“Alright, let’s get this game started!” Wooyoung declared, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “Y/n, you’re up first. Share your wildest fashion story, and remember, it better be juicy.”

You took a deep breath, feeling heat flood your cheeks. “Okay, okay. So, there was this one time at a fashion show—”

Before you could finish, San interrupted, a playful smirk dancing on his face. “Wait, Y/n. If we’re going to share stories, let’s do it properly. You know, since we’re all friends here…” He leaned closer to the camera, his voice dropping to a sultry whisper. “I brought something special for tonight.”

Curiosity sparked within you. “Oh ? Okay, San… what have you planned for me?”

He leaned back, a teasing glint in his eyes. “I may have sent you that toy you mentioned wanting to try out. Thought it could help you with your story, kitten.”

Yeosang’s eyes widened in playful delight. “You did what? Now I’m curious! You have to show us, Y/n!”

Wooyoung chuckled, “I knew I liked San for a reason. This just got a whole lot more interesting.” He leaned closer, his voice teasingly low. “Now, how about you give us a little demonstration while you share your story?”

You felt a rush of excitement course through you. “Alright, but you boys better be ready to share something too.” You had already opened the toy that San had sent earlier and were wondering when you’d get a chance to use it.

Guess the perfect opportunity just struck.

As you reached for the toy, Wooyoung licked his lips in anticipation. “Oh, we’re ready. Just make sure you keep your voice down so the hotel staff doesn’t come knocking.”

You smiled coyly, bringing the toy into view. “Just guide me through this, and I promise I’ll keep it interesting.”

“Okay, here’s the plan,” San said, his tone playful yet filled with a hint of seduction as he rubbed his hands. “While you pleasure yourself, we’ll each take turns describing what we’d do to you if we were there.”

“Sounds like a fair deal,” Yeosang added, leaning forward, his voice dripping with flirtation. “I can’t wait to hear what you think about my ideas.”

This whole setup was perfect, given how much you missed them. They could almost feel like they were right beside you. Wow! Why have we never tried this before, you thought as Wooyoung’s voice pulled you back to reality.

Wooyoung spoke, his tone low and inviting, beginning the chain of wild imaginations. “I’d love to start. Just imagine, Y/n. If I was there, I’d slowly push your legs apart, whispering in your ear how beautiful you look, how good you’d feel with my hands exploring every inch of you as you touch yourself.”

San’s eyes glinted with mischief as he joined in. “But don’t forget, Woo. I’d be right there, teasing you about how good you look in those cute pajamas while I watched you pleasure yourself. I’d want to hear every little sound you make as you feel that toy inside you.”

A soft gasp escaped your lips as you turned on the toy, the vibrations sending shivers of delight through your body. You could feel the warmth radiating from the three boys on the screen, their eyes filled with hunger as they watched you.

Yeosang smirked, leaning back slightly, his voice sultry and low. “Just think, Y/n. If we were all together, I’d take my time, tracing my fingers down your thighs while you touched yourself. I’d make you squirm, teasing you until you begged for more.”

Wooyoung leaned closer, his voice a seductive whisper. “That’s right, Y/n. Let us guide you through every part while we pleasure ourselves, too. Just picture us, all together, lost in this moment, completely focused on you.”

You could feel your pulse quickening, the toy’s vibrations mixing with their seductive words, stirring a delicious heat in your core. “I can definitely get used to this.” you said, a sultry smile dancing on your lips.

“Good, because we’re not done yet,” San teased, a wicked grin spreading across his face. “Keep going, Y/n. We want to hear every sound, see every expression.”

With every twist of the toy and every word that escaped your lips, you felt the tension building within you. “Oh, you’re going to have to do better than that.” you challenged, your voice dripping with playful defiance.

Wooyoung laughed, his gaze intense. “Alright, Y/n, I’m just getting warmed up. Picture this: I’m right there, kissing up your body, my lips trailing along your neck while you get lost in your pleasure. I want to hear how much you crave it.”

San added, his voice a mix of urgency and teasing, “And I’d make sure you’re completely filled with pleasure, using that toy just like I would with my fingers plunged inside your dripping cunt, pushing you closer to the edge with a relentless pace until you can’t take it anymore.”

You moaned softly, the vibrations from the toy syncing perfectly with their words, urging you closer to ecstasy. “You guys are killing me.” you breathed, biting your lip.

Yeosang’s voice was low and coaxing, “Let go, Y/n. Come for us, baby. Just let the pleasure wash over you. We’re here, we’re watching, and we want you to enjoy every second.”

With a shaky breath, you continued, their voices guiding you deeper into your pleasure. “I can feel it building, guys… I’m so close.” Your hand gripped the sheets as the toy’s vibrations drew soft, pleasurable moans from you. The boys on the other side of the screen, watching your delicious movements with intense gazes, was the cherry on top.

“Amazing,” Wooyoung said, his voice thick with desire. “Now picture all three of us surrounding you, our lips worshipping your neck, your juicy breasts, and silky smooth thighs, our fingers taking turns entering and leaving your sweet cunt, making you feel so good you can’t help but scream our names.”

San chimed in, his words a seductive whisper. “We want to hear you fall apart, kitten. Don’t hold back. Let us feel how much you want us.”

The heat coiling in your belly reached its peak, and you felt yourself just on the edge. “I… I can’t hold on much longer!” you gasped.

“Then don’t.” Yeosang encouraged, his tone coaxing and smooth. “Let it all go, Y/n. We’re right here with you.”

With their voices urging you on, you let the waves of pleasure crash over you, your body responding to every command they gave. “Oh my god!” you cried out, surrendering to the ecstasy that consumed you, the toy helping you ride the high as you came all over your white sheets.

As you rode the wave of your climax, the boys cheered you on, their laughter and encouragement filling the room with warmth and joy.

Finally, as you came down from the high, your breaths came in shaky gasps, your heart racing as you basked in the afterglow of the experience. You looked at the screen, finding them all grinning, eyes bright with mischief and admiration.

“That was something else. Do you want us to send more of those toys, babygirl ?” Wooyoung asked, his expression a mix of satisfaction and playful intrigue, curious about your preferences now after trying the toy for the first time.

“I’d rather have you guys here instead of the toy, but wow, that was an amazing experience.” you replied, not quite ready to replace them with the toy just yet.

San nodded, smirking. “Just wait until we’re all together again, kitten.”

Yeosang added, his eyes sparkling. “Let’s just say, this mutual midnight madness is only the beginning.”

“Yeah! But I’m not against the idea of trying more toys if you want to watch me. So, keep them coming,” you teased before heading to the washroom to clean up, as the boys also hung up to clean themselves as Wooyoung had clearly made a mess of himself watching you pleasure yourself.

After this ecstatic call, your body craved more and more of these midnight moments as you got ready to sleep, bracing for a hectic workday tomorrow.

~ ~ Chérie ☆ signin’ off

Disclaimer : This is totally fictional and not a real depiction of the ATEEZ members. It's all just for fun only so please don’t take anything seriously and keep the mood light around here.

© ShixCherie.

Tag List : @star-my | @pixie0627 | @astuteataraxy

[gyratingpresley]

You're mine.

Summary

Austin had been away filming Bikeriders for longer than you had liked. When everything was finished he finally got a break, and on the 14th of August a party Tom Hardy had invited you to was booming. The party is full of life, many men are staring at the woman glued to the king "Austin Butler." You. Austin's beloved wife, but there was one guy in particular that couldn't keep his eyes off you and it was unfortunately Austin's co-star Tom. Finally Austin had enough, dragging you away and eventually you went your separate ways for the night.

Sitting at the bar all by your lonesome and man shows up, Walt, he is gay, and suffering from husbanditis. You end up on the dance floor, and before you know it Austin is dragging you to the car, as soon as you get home, you don't know what will happen...

Warnings: Austin being aggressive, and protective, heavy smut (and I mean HEAVY) Young people get outta here, Asshole Austin/a little corrupt, AustinButlerxreader.

I AM TAKING REQUESTS!! (My first story, so expect mistakes!) Anyways, have a good read, Angels x

Austin had been away filming his new movie Bikeriders, and now that it was finished, he was getting a break from everything. You had been at home lonely, waiting for him to come back, and when he did, you had no idea how much he actually changed. It was now August the 14th, two days before his birthday, you had bought him a new pair of dress shoes for the party Tom had invited you to. "Austin?" You walked over to the bathroom he stood in, fixing his tie. "What's wrong, Honey?" Austin continued fiddling around with his tie as he spoke to you; "Nothings wrong, I just wanted to give you an early birthday present!" His eyes lit up at your words. He reached for the box, undoing the silk ribbon, and placing the top on the bathroom sink. The shoes were black, with some pink on the sides. "Y/n you didn't have to, baby. This is too much!" Austin put the box down and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you close, "They match your black blazer and pink shirt." You smiled and kissed him passionately. He deepened the kiss, licking your lower lip, demanding access, which you, of course, obeyed, opening your mouth just so his tongue could explore it all. Austin groaned against your mouth when you began to pull away. "Come on, Austin, we really gotta go baby, if we don't leave now, we might not get to the party." He smirked, giving you a peck on the lips, "We'll finish this later then.." he teased. The dress you wore was a black dress with some pink lace. Yes, to match Austin, he had given you his black blazer to wear over the top of your shoulders in case you got cold.

Austin had an arm around your waist, and as the two of you walked up to the casino, Tom had cleared out for the party. "I wonder if Tom Hardy is as cute as he was in legend," you giggled, teasing him the slightest bit. Austin slapped your ass, making you yelp. "Continue to talk like that, and I might just have to take you home now and teach you a lesson." You looked at him in shock, knowing he wouldn't forget about what he said, you knew full damn well you would be taught a lesson whether you liked it or not, and to be honest you felt butterflies in your stomach. The two of you walked in, trying to squeeze through the hordes of people. Finally, you found Tom, he was at a bar with a lady. "Tom!" Austin screamed, his voice barely a scream over the loud jazz and conversation. Tom turned to you both, a smile creeping across his face. "Austin! Welcome!" Tom gave him a very manly hug and turned to you, "Hello, you must be..." You smiled and took his hand that was extended out to you. "Y/n! Y/n Butler", Tom nods, "Your his sister?" Austin chokes on the coke he was handed, "Wife, not sister, wife." He corrects him. You laughed. As you began to talk to him about the movies he had been in, you couldn't help but notice his eyes. The way they would skim your body, often lingering at your chest, and you weren't the only one who noticed this, Austin had as well, he curled his fists into balls, trying to calm himself down, so that he doesn't go off, at his co star. "Hey Tom, uh, we're gonna mingle with some people." Tom nodded and pat Austin on the shoulder, sending you a wink and finally heading back to his lady. Austin hadn't had a problem with you being around men. Well, that was before he got the role as Benny, and now he always seems to get angry at any man who even looks at you. You even noticed during the filming of Elvis that he was changing. You looked up at Austin as he walked the two of you over to a group of people, "Austin, that was really rude!" He stopped in his tracks, his gaze turning to you. "What are you on about! He was the one staring at your tits! And really! Quite frankly, I don't like anyone staring at MY woman's- my WIFES breasts." You crossed your arms and bit the inside of your cheek. "Look baby, I, I don't mean... I don't mean to be rude or anything. It's just that I knew you were uncomfortable!" He tried his best to convince you. Yes, Tom did make you a little uncomfortable, but you could handle it just by closing the top button of Austin's blazer. Austin pinched the bridge of his nose, now looking up at the ceiling, his Adam's apple more visible than ever. You scoff "I need a drink, you go mingle with people Austin, I'll find you later." He watched you walk over to another bar, finally raising his hands up in defeat and letting you have your moment, Okay! Yes! It did make you feel weird, and you kind of didn't like it, but it was rude of Austin to just sweep you away like that... wasn't it?

You sat on a bar stool, swirling a glass of champagne in your hand. Austin was on the other side of the casino, talking with some friends. Taking this time to look around the place, you saw people laughing, having fun gambling. God, you needed something to liven up this party. "Lonely?" A man question, raising his voice a little so you could actually hear him, looking to your side you chuckled. The man that stood beside you was stunning. He had brown curly hair, hazel eyes, and a beauty mark above his lip. "Yeah, I am definitely lonely," you responded, taking a swig from your glass. He smiled. "I'm Walter, you can call me Walt," Walter, hm, what a nice name you thought. "So, Walt, why are you alone tonight?" He blew air out of his mouth, almost sounding exhausted, "My husband, he has gone to talk with people... now, just hold on a minute? What is your name?" You giggled, "y/n! And I'm lonely because my husband has also gone to Mingle." Walter chuckles, rubbing your arm, "Well you're not lonely anymore!" Its been a long long time, played in the background, making it harder for you to hear him. You stand up, straighting out your dress, "Dance?" He seemed to perk up at your words.

A little dancing later and next thing Austin has your wrist in a vice grip, dragging you away from Walt and off the dance floor. "Austin! What the hell! I was dancing." You hissed at him, his feet walking quicker than you could keep up with. He was practically dragging you to the car. "Get in." He demanded, swinging the car door open. Before you could hop in Austin gripped your neck claiming your lips, "You're mine baby girl, all mine." He growled against them, giving you one last rough peck before heading over to the drivers seat.

A little over 20 minutes later you arrived at the penthouse, it was the longest 20 minutes of your life, the antagonizing wait for what will happen when you walk through those doors. Finally you heard the door lock. The hallway was silent, nothing but the faint sound of Austin breathing, he took slow steps towards you, one hand dragging up your back to grasp your neck, the other slowly snaked around your waist turning you around. His breath hot on your neck, "I don't like being played with."

"Austin, I wasn't playing with yo-"

"Don't fucking lie to me."

"He was gay!"

Austin went silent, his blood was boiling, what does it matter if he's gay?

"What does that fucking matter? Hmm?"

He rips the skimpy lace of your dress down, your breasts spilling out. He roughly grasps one, taking the pink bud between his ring adorned fingers, you squeal. "Who owns these? Hm?" Austin kisses them quickly. Your mouth opened to speak, but the words died at your lips.

"Who fucking owns them!"

"You do! You own them!

Austin lets out a throaty groan, "That's right, my breasts - He places a kiss to them - and my throbbing cunt - He slaps your wet core, making you yelp - to toy with." You do the mistake of letting out a scoff, his eyes darken to a shade you didn't know existed. As soon as he threw you over your shoulder you knew you were fucked. Austin smacked your ass as you squealed, "My fucking woman. Mine." He began to walk up the stairs towards your shared bedroom, you felt his cold hands pull up the bottom of your dress to press kisses to your thigh, you gasped as he bit down on the supple skin of your butt. "Austin!" you groaned banging your hands against his back. Reaching your bed he throws you down onto the plush mattress, Austin watched as you tried to scramble away, grabbing your ankles and yanking you back.

"Fuck! Austin!"

He tutted, "Language."

Austin slid his hand under you, flipping you onto your stomach. His hand met your ass with a loud clap, you jolted. His hand curled around your neck, bringing you up to him. "Who do you belong to? hm?" He growled, his breath hot on your neck. "You, Austin. You!" He chuckled darkly at your words. Austin smacked your clothed ass over and over again, the pain turning to pleasure as you choked out a moan. He stops. "Oh? You like this, little girl?" His voice rough, you gasp, he hasn't called you that since he was filming Elvis, of course you would normally call him "daddy", but this was no role play. The sound of Austin fumbling with his belt echoed in the room, it finally landing on the ground with a clink, "You want me to fuck you, little girl?" Your face was shoved into the soft pillows, it muffled your moans, Austin pulled the rest of your dress off, leaving you in your panties, his finger fiddled with the band of them, eventually sliding them down revealing your wet pussy. "So wet." He growled out. He drew circles on your swollen clit, your walls were throbbing, you needed him inside you. Austin flipped you around again, picking you up and wrapping your weak legs around his waist. Without thought he pushed his hard cock inside of you to the hilt. He groaned, collecting your moans with a kiss. "So fuckin' tight." His deep southern accent coming out to play, you had been so entrapped in his new look and sound for Benny, that you forgot how much Elvis, Austin, turned you on. "Yes baby!" You squealed as he thrusted into you relentlessly, "Oh god, keep going!" You moaned.

The room smelt of pure sex, that musty, sultry smell, it fed the coil beginning to form in your belly, Austin's hips snapped into yours, driving his cock deeper into you. The coil tightened as he bit your bottom lip, Austin's thrusts gained pace as he began to chase out his first orgasm, you cupped his face kissing him, both of you capturing each others moans. "Cum with me baby, cum with me." His words tipped you over the edge, both of you riding out the pleasure together, you felt the warm feeling of his painting your walls white. Austin's thrusts came to a shuddering halt. He grunted as the last of his seed spilled into you.

He wasted no time pulling out of you, you whined, feeling empty. You stood on your feet, knees almost giving out. Austin cupped your face pressing a passionate kiss to your lips. He backed you up back towards the bed, when your thighs hit the edge he pushed you down. "What are you doing?" You said, looking at him through lidded eyes, he hummed, kneeling down, "I'm hungry." those words slid off his tongue like honey, he spread your legs, one arm holding your pelvis down, the other toying with your slick folds, his cum was still leaking out of you, you gasped as he shoved his fingers into you, pushing his seed back in, "Better make me a daddy, hm little one?". Off came his shirt before he dived into your cunt like a starved man. "Austin! I can't, too sore! Too sensitiv-" He cut you off, nipping your clit, you squealed, "Yes you can. This is my pussy, I say when it can't take any more." He licked a strip up your folds, thrusting his tongue in. You moaned, biting the white sheets that covered the bed. Austin sent you into your next orgasm, rubbing your sensitive clit to help. Your legs fell limp onto the mattress, he stood up from the floor, smiling at you, so helpless. He left the room, grabbing a warm wet towel. "Here, baby." You moaned as the warm fabric brushed against your abused pussy. Austin pressed a kiss to your clit, standing again to walk into the closet, he pulled out a pair or pretty pink panties, a bow adorned the middle, he knew you hated sleeping without underwear. You hummed, sitting up, "Thank you." he slipped the panties over your legs, releasing them with a snap. He pulled you down into the bed, pressing a kiss to the back of your neck.

"He was gay." You whispered.

Austin growled against your neck, "And your mine."

Let me know if you want a part 2...

Tagged:

Comment if you want to be tagged in my next story.

[lovemyromance]

After I finished reading the books and the bonus chapter I thought there was a 50% chance that the next book could be about elriel and 50% it could be about gwynriel, especially when I saw how popular gwynriel was. I didn’t pick up on any of the lightsinger hints. I feel like most people don’t pick up on them the first time they read the books. Without the lightsinger theory, the bonus chapter seems to introduce gwyn as a possible love interest for az.

With everything we learn in hofas and what Sarah said in the today interview, I think she’s more likely to write elriel. But that doesn’t mean that elucien or gwynriel can’t happen, after all she said she writes based on vibes and she’s prone to change love interests.

*I don't even care if this is a troll ask I already had a draft along these lines saved so thanks for letting me use it*

Walk with me, 🚶🏽‍♀️

I mean, I agree. If I had ONLY read the bonus chapter and none of the other books, then yeah I'd say he starts the BC with Elain and ends with Gwyn. So he could go either way.

But that would be ignoring the rest of the books outside the singular, 5page bonus chapter 🤷🏻‍♀️

Though you're right, truly, SJM can take it any which way she wants. You see it as 50/50 chance between Elriel and Gwynriel, I see it as 99/1, SJM herself could be 75/25 who knows! She could do 0/0 and make Azriel end up with Eris too!

And yet - when you read that last sentence - where I claimed SJM could write Azris endgame just as likely as she could write Gwynriel or Elriel - I'm sure a part of you disagreed, didn't it?

"There's no way Azris is as likely as Gwynriel!"

You're right. It's not. You know that. I know that. And you know why we both believe it's unlikely that SJM will throw away both Elriel and Gwynriel in favor of Azris?

It's because SJM doesn't just "switch love interests" without buildup.

We all knows she can do whatever she wants - she's the author. But I think it's kind of an inaccurate statement to say "she's prone to switching love interests", point blank. She NEVER has done that without proper buildup.

SJM has two ways she "changes" a love interest:

1. A main character has a minor relationship that is summarized in a passing sentence or paragraph long thought about their ex/current lover. They might not have even been in an actual relationship just had romantic feelings at one point. Either way, it's never a focus of the story.

Ex: Hunt & Shahar, Feyre & Isaac Hale, Elain & Greyson, Mor & Azriel (and cassian ig), Bryce & Connor, Hypaxia & Ruhn

2. A main character has a full blown relationship with another main character and they fully explore all stages of falling in love, lust, breaking up, and then moving on to another character.

Ex: Tamlin/Feyre/Rhys; Dorian/Aelin/Chaol/Rowan

She does it both ways. Here's the difference though:

The first method is minor stakes. It's typically just the beginning of a relationship, or a retrospective point of view. There is very rarely any physical intimacy. It is also typically only the female's point of view.

In my opinion, it shouldn't really even count as a love interest switch up. It is so small in the scale of things and it never pans out or is given any importance in the main story. It fizzles out after the first 10 pages (not literally guys chill), basically.

Then we get to the second method of her "love interest switch". She doesnt do this one often, and it takes MULTIPLE books to cover. It is about a MAIN FEMALE character. The Feyre & Aelins, if you will.

Both of those situations were not something that was just sprung on us without adequate build up.

Feyre fell in love with Tamlin. Met Rhys. Slowly fell OUT of love with Tamlin. Then fell in love with Rhys. It took her 3 books.

They did not have a romance in ACOTAR while she was still falling for Tamlin. That would've been like if she went to Calanmai, saw Rhys, and then decided she didn't want Tamlin and only wanted Rhys from then.

Aelin & Dorian and Aelin & Chaol were two relationships that were FULLY fleshed out. She did not abruptly leave Chaol and immediately fall for Rowan. These aren't instances where anything happened abruptly in a bonus chapter or even in ONE book- these "switch ups" happened over multiple books.

Now let's look at Elain and Azriel.

In the context of the series, let's evaluate where these two stand in the two ways SJM does a love interest switch up:

1. Minor character romance switch up

- Are Azriel & Elain minor characters? ❌ no

- Did they share only one sentence or paragraph thinking about each other? ❌ no, they had multiple major scenes together

- Was it from a female POV? ❌ no

- do they only briefly show physical intimacy? Yes ✅

So clearly, Azriel and Elain don't fit into the first type of "switch up" she does. The only criteria they fit is that they have had one scene of minor physical intimacy.

2. Major character love interest switch

- Are Azriel & Elain main characters at this point? Yes ✅

- Did Azriel & Elain get a chance to fully explore their relationship and fall in love? No ❌

- Did Azriel & Elain get multiple books to cover this changing of feelings? No ❌

So clearly, Azriel and Elain don't fit into the second type of "switch up" she does either. The only criteria they fit is that they are both major characters right now.

Now what did we conclude as a result of this long ass post, if yall are still with me on this 10k hike?

Azriel & Elain have had buildup together that cannot be ignored.

They have been the main focus (Azriel's Hybern camp rescue of Elain was VERY similar to Nesta saving/willing to die for Cassain)

They have had clear romantic feelings for each other as evidenced by the bonus chapter

They have obstacles in place now (thanks Rhys).

There's foreshadowing in droves scattered throughout the bonus chapters and books.

The natural flow of the story supports Elriel

The POV before Elain's book is Azriel's not Lucien's

SJM is on the Today show talking about rejected mates

SJM has made Azriel step into the role Lucien should have been playing for Elain

If you're willing to ignore this and say "Gwynriel could have a 50/50 percent chance of happening bc of the singular bonus chapter" ... then go ahead. But don't act surprised when you get the next book in your hands and it's indeed Elriel 🤷🏻‍♀️

There is always a slight chance the author could do anything. That's like if I said "yeah - in every soccer game there's a chance the goalie could stop blocking shots and let the other team win."

Like yes. Quite literally they could do that. It's up to them.

But is it likely? No.

Will it go against everything they've set up and trained for? Yes.

SJM could write Gwynriel. She could write Azris then too, as that has equal buildup. She could write Nezris or Azquin. She could write anything. But that minuscule possibly of "anything could happen" doesn't affect typical calculations when it comes to statistics, so I don't know why it's playing a part here. SJM's plot does not defy the normal laws of physics and chance🙄

So at the end of this long walk, if you're still with me, I just want yall to know that yes SJM could do anything she wants she's the author - but Elriel is the most likely conclusion by far.

[sp0o0kylights]

Part one here:: link

"oh i dunno if Im going to finish this" I say, right before the plot ate me. anyway this was too big to post in full to tumblr. If you want the full, completed fic (with bonus Fun Fic Facts tm) it is finished and up on A03 here:: link

TW vomiting, drug use

Eddie is good.

Eddie is kind.

Eddie does not run over Henderson’s bike, laying haphazardly in Harrington’s pristine driveway, even if it would make him feel better. 

He does slam his van into park with enough force to make the brakes squeal, which he decides is an excellent way to announce his appearance to the entire neighborhood. 

It’s a move he’s pulled countless times. Charging in and making a scene meant people forgot that he couldn’t actually fight for shit, and equally, took their attention off whatever their original target was.

Which in this case, was Eddie’s too fucking nice freshman. 

The rage pulsing through him is white hot and all encompassing, and it’ll get him through a lot--but the switchblade he carries ensures everyone’s safety in these little matters. 

It makes him brave.

Braver than he should be really, but Eddie spent the entire drive over here chain smoking out the window while prepping for this little confrontation and the more he’d thought it all over, the madder he got.

That a washed up jock thought he could still take advantage of actual children. 

Nevermind Hellfire, or Henderson ditching, or Sinclaire’s ranting. 

This was about their relationship with Harrington. 

A picture has been building in Eddie’s head. One that’s only gotten clearer after today, and one he will be putting an end to, because he doesn’t believe for a second Harrington has a headache. 

Henderson might always be the smartest person in the room, but he’s dumb as hell socially. Too honest, too blunt, and frankly, too goodhearted. 

That makes him easy to take advantage of. 

Sinclair was worse--the guy was too easy to guilt trip. 

It was a noted issue with his ranger, and apparently, himself, and Eddie could easily see how Harrington could have twisted the idea of some ridiculous life-debt to keep Lucas in his clutches.  

Even Mayfield, Billy Hargrove’s former stepsister, was wrapped up in Harrington enough to have a go at her own friends over him! 

She wasn’t even one of his flock, but Eddie was her neighbor. Saw how her mom was barely home. How she was practically raising herself, head down, doing her best not to ever let people see her cry. 

Yeah.

Wouldn’t exactly be difficult for a guy like Steve Harrington to swoop in and take advantage there. 

Wheeler clearly wasn’t a fan and Eddie can only come up with reason after reason as to why--King Jackass had the poor kid’s entire friend group under some kind of--of sick spell.

Well. 

Eddie was here to break it. 

Even if it meant storming into the King’s castle by himself and calling him out on his shit. 

Nobody fucked with his people. Especially not douchebag, washed up jocks. 

He’s up to Harringotn’s ridiculous double doors in a flash, banging hard on the wood with a closed fist, positively fuming and uncaring of who sees. 

Surprise, surprise, it’s Henderson who opens it.

“Eddie?” He says, blinking up at him like he’s not sure of what he’s seeing.  “What are you--hey!” 

Hey, because Eddie’s pushed past him, storming into the house. 

“This has gone on long enough.” He announces, loud as he ever has been. “Where the hell’s Harrington?”

Henderson, frustratingly, does not weep or throw his hands up in celebration of Eddie’s incoming rescue. 

Which is fine--Eddie hasn’t broken the spell yet.

Unfortunately he is bitching, in that infamously annoying tone of his.

“Dude, shut up, Steve’s pills really only work for like, an hour--” 

“Fantastic, he’ll be clear headed for our little talk.” Eddie tells him, head sweeping left and  right as he looks for his target. He’s been in Casa de Harrington a few times before to deal, but it was always at night.

He can now say with perfect honesty that the place looks worse in the bright light of the day. 

“Was that Eddie?” Sinclair calls, and Eddie orients towards him instantly, storming down the hall. 

It doesn’t take long to find the kid. 

 Lucas is standing in a kitchen larger than Eddie’s entire trailer, a too-large pink apron drowning his frame. 

He turns, revealing the front of the thing has  ‘Whisk Taker’ written on it in syrupy white font. 

(Baking puns. Disgusting.) 

“Are you cooking?” Eddie accuses with a sneer, though his disgust isn’t aimed at the freshmen. 

This is exactly what he was afraid of finding. 

Lucas just stares at him. “Uh--yeah?” 

“What did I say about too many people, Munson?” Mayfrield spits angrily. It takes a second to locate her--the kitchen is enormous and far too white--but eventually Eddie realizes she’s perched up on a counter next to the largest sink he’s ever seen. 

For a second, Eddie thinks that’s just where she’s chosen to sit. Then she moves, and he realizes she’s washing and drying a series of water bottles. 

He never in his life thought he’d witness Maxine Mayfield willingly do someone else's dishes. 

“Someone get me Harrington.” He’s not trying for anything dramatic, but his voice must sound dangerous because all three freshmen stop dead, eyes wide as if he's just spoken in tongues.

He zeroes in on Dustin with a glare. “Now.”

Who huffs, throwing his hands up in the air like Eddie’s the one being unreasonable here. 

“Absolutely not--we just got Steve to sit down. He’s been following me around the house insisting I’m causing more problems than I’m fixing!”

“Because you are.” Steve says, voice dripping with calm condescension as he appears like a wraith in the doorway. “And I know you’re all into the whole dungeon game, Munson, but this is a little dramatic, even for you.”

Eddie whirls to face him, already vibrating with fury. “Oh, that’s rich, coming from the guy who’s treating them like his personal minions. What’s next, Harrington? Gonna make them re-shingle the roof? Paint your house? Wax your car?”

Steve gives him a flat, almost disbelieving stare. “Do you seriously think I had Henderson miss your game just so I could lounge around while he’s doing chores?”

Eddie doesn’t bite, too busy unloading. “Oh we can both see it’s more than that.”

He doesn’t notice the way Steve’s jaw tenses, or how his hand creeps up to the side of his head, rubbing at his temple. 

“Anything else you want done, Harrington? Maybe make ‘em mow the lawn?” Eddie sneers. “Or teach ‘em to plump your pillows just the way you like—”

Steve finally snaps, pushing himself upright. “You know what Munson, you're right,” he says, voice tight with barely-contained frustration. “I’m clearly a terrible person they need to be rescued from so--”  

He cuts himself off with a hiss,  eyes squeezing shut as his hand goes to the side of his head, and spits out his next words like they hurt. 

“You can play the good guy and take them all home.” 

Dustin, with an exasperated sigh, steps between them. “No,” he tells Steve sternly, as if managing an unruly child, before spinning on his heel to say the exact same thing, in the exact same tone--to Eddie. 

(Jackass freshman can’t even appreciate when they’re being actively rescued!) 

“Eddie, I promise that this isn’t what it looks like.” 

For anyone else it would sound like a plea, but Henderosn somehow makes it condescending.

“We can explain, alright?” Dustin says, raising his hands as though coaxing a skittish animal. “Will you let us explain? Please?”

Eddie glowers. 

“You clearly do not, in fact, know what this looks like. Because if you did,” 

Eddie can make himself menacing and he does so now, pulling on every single year of drama and theatrics and lying to cops he’s had, pushing his shoulders back and making his body tall.

“You would know that it looks like a guy who peaked in high school is forcing a bunch of fourteen year olds to do his bidding.” 

He takes an aggressive step towards Steve, boots thunking hard on the floor. “And that isn’t happening on my watch.” 

“Aren’t you like an extra super senior?” Mayfield says, arms crossed over her chest. 

“Irrelevant!” Eddie swats the air in her direction, as if to physically bat away her words. “I’m still in high school and I’m not emotionally blackmailing a bunch of kids into waiting on me hand and foot while I fake a headache!” 

“Oh ew.” Max’s nose scrunches in disgust, a mixture of disbelief and fury warring on her face. “That is not what’s happening here.” 

“Were you even listening earlier?!” Lucas says, like he can’t quite believe Eddie is this dumb. 

(His character will be the next to die, so Eddie swears.) 

“I did.” Eddie points a finger at him, triumphant. “I heard all about how he’s tricked you into thinking you owe him a life-debt!”

“A what?” Harrington’s squinting, like he’s struggling to follow along what is happening. It’s a halfway decent sick act, Eddie will give it to him, but he knows the facade will drop in a moment. 

As soon as the asshole loses his temper and decides to try and throw Eddie out, he’ll switch from the Poor Me act into the usual pompous, rich dick on a rampage persona. 

“How he’s saved you all, convinced you and Henderson that you’re in debt to him.” 

“Could we just---please stop yelling?” Steve says in the background, heel pressing hard against his eyes. 

Then winces like his own voice hurts his head.

“What the hell, Eddie?!” Dustin’s cut across the room, stepping in between the two older teens. “Where did this even come from!?” 

“Guys.” 

“The mouths of babes, Henderson. Which you would know if you witnessed Sinclair’s rant instead of missing out because King Dickhead demanded your presence at his castle!” 

“Guys.” Steve’s voice abruptly takes on a weird tone, and it’s only Mayfield’s eyes popping wide that has Eddie realizing something is wrong--right before Harrington shoots past him, noisily hurling in the sink.

“Gross!” Max shrieks, throwing herself off the counter. 

Harrington aims a shaky middle finger in her direction. 

“I just washed those bottles Steve, I'm not washing them again!” Mayfield rants, but she’s not fooling anyone. Not with the way she’s already edging back towards him, like she’s afraid he might fall over. 

(Worse, like she might try to catch him, as if Harrington’s broad, barbarian-like shoulders wouldn’t flatten her instantly.) 

“Al-’right.” Harrington slurs a moment later, still panting over the sink. “Everyone--out. Now.” 

“Steve--” 

“Nope. Making it worse. Out.” 

He manages to stand and turn, leaning hard against the counter and for the first time since this all started, Eddie looks at him. 

Properly, and not through the lens of righteous fury. 

Harrington’s pale.

The shirt he’s wearing is stained with sweat marks, his sweatpants clearly old and worn for comfort rather than style. 

His hair…

Eddie has never seen Harrington without his infamously perfect hairdo, and the messy, slick waves plastered to his forehead is more of a shock then him vomiting in the sink. 

He’s got his hands pressed hard against his eyes again, and there’s a slight tremble in his fingers that belay he’s likely in a lot more pain than he’s letting on.

In short, Harrington looks like absolute shit, and Eddie, maybe, possibly, the tiniest bit believes he actually has a migraine. 

Well, it was that or he was really committed to the bit… 

The tense silence that has befallen them all is ruined when Harrington makes a ‘hurk.’ noise.

“I’m going to throw up again.” He decides after a moment of contemplation, before whipping back around to the sink and doing just that. 

“Steve’s right.” Mayfield decides suddenly, over all the nasty noises. “We should leave.” 

“I’m almost done cooking!” Sinclair protests, as if Harrington isn’t presently throwing up the contents of his stomach. 

“You’re almost done burning things, you mean.” Max mutters, but her words can’t hide the blatant concern written all over his face. “I don’t think he’s going to keep anything down.” 

“He needs us to finish what we started.” Dustin argues passionately. “You know how bad he gets, he’s not gonna be able to get up in an hour!” 

(A clear exaggeration, because Harrington looks like he’s not gonna make it across the kitchen unassisted.) 

“What I need is for everyone to stop talking so fucking loud.” Harrington moans, before appearing to give up on life entirely. 

He sort of sags against the counter, resting his head against his arms while bent double, as if that would help things. 

It was at this point that Eddie had the most unfortunate realization that he might be the asshole here. 

Because Harrington looks rough--and if he actually does in fact, have a migraine, then Eddie has done nothing but make it worse.

(Very likely the freshmen have as well, given Dustin is incapable of talking in anything other than a loud yell, and the smell of Lucas’s burnt food has permeated the air.

Mayfield seemed to have accomplished a small amount of actual work, at least.

…If Harrington managed to miss throwing up on the water bottles.) 

“Look,” Harrington interrupts with an audible, thick swallow.“You guys did great, and I appreciate the uh, help. I’m fine, I promise, you can all go home. Munson,” 

He doesn’t turn, but his voice does change into something that’s half pleading, half demanding.

“Can we please fight about this tomorrow? Or next week?” 

“No fighting!” Dustin shrieks, which has the effect of making Harrington cringe into the counter--and that is what finally kicks Eddie over.

Bows to the instincts that now want to wrap up Harrington in a blanket over the ones that want to strangle him, (though both are very much at odds in his head with each other.)

“We can put a pin in it.” He says, all the venom dropping out of his voice,  already knowing what’s going to happen next and hating himself for it. 

Even at his absolute worst, Eddie has never been able to resist trying to fix a problem he’s been presented with--or turn down someone who needs help.

Harrington, clearly, needs help. 

“You heard him.” He tells his freshman, then immediately holds up a hand when all three try to protest at once. 

“Ah-ah, inside voices.” He himself uses a harsh whisper, and then has to fight not to laugh aloud when all three abruptly eye him like he’s lost his head.

He probably has.

(Fucking King Steve.

No one who is that much of a douchebag should ever look that pathetic without deserving it, it’s against the Munson doctrine.) 

“Henderson, have you done anything actually useful while you’ve been here? Like, say, getting a warm washcloth?” 

“I--oh.” Dustin’s on the defense instantly, but for once actually listens before he finishes his sentence. “Uh. No.”

“Go do that then.” Eddie instructs, making sure to keep his voice quiet and even. 

“Sinclair, toss out the eggs, then take the garbage out so it’ll stop stinking up the place. Mayfield, see if these windows open. Harrington…” 

He pauses, watching as Harrington tries to gather himself, moving slowly and deliberately like even breathing hurts. His entire appearance is grating Eddie’s nerves—not because he doesn’t care, but because he does, and that’s infuriating. 

“Go lay down, man.” He finishes lamely. 

He expects the freshmen to listen to him. Knows they will, in his heart of hearts, even if they bitch back, because that’s just how things are when he decides to take charge. So few people truly want to, that others are often relieved when he does. 

Steve Harrington is not most people.

If he argues, he could very well tip things out of control again, which means Eddie is likely going to have to force the trio of fourteen year olds out of the house. 

Henderson and Sinclair he can manage but Mayfield…

Thankfully, Steve pushes off the counter with a groan, muttering something under his breath, but slowly making his way toward the couch without any other protest. 

The freshmen exchange glances, all of them looking just as unsure as Eddie feels. Like they’re waiting for instructions now that their default leader is down for the count.

He clears his throat pointedly. 

“Hello? Did I not give you marching orders?” He bats his hands at them. “Go march!” 

Mayfield mutters something that sounds an awful lot like “hypocrite” but thankfully, does as asked. 

“Are you gonna give us a ride home?” Henderson asks as he finally starts moving around--hopefully to get a damn washcloth. 

“You got yourself here, you can get yourself home.” Eddie scoffs back, taking stock of Harrington’s kitchen. 

He eyes the line of pain pills laid out on the counter, quickly noting not one of them is anything that would help with a sneeze let alone a migraine. 

Typical. 

“Why not?” Dustin disappeared down a hallway, but the fact Eddie can still hear him plain as day speaks to his ability to keep quiet. “You have your van, don’t you?” 

“Because I’m not leaving when you three are leaving.” 

It’s an absentminded comment, given his mind is elsewhere. 

Weed may be his bread and butter but he does have a handful of more serious things on offer. 

Of those things, one or two have some fun little unexpected side effects, and if Eddie recalls Rick’s yapping right, one of said things was stopping headaches. 

Said magic little mushrooms might even be in a pocket or two, here, if he remembers right… 

“Wait, you're staying here?” Lucas protests, far too loudly. 

"Ssszzhh!" Eddie hisses, drawing out the sound dramatically, mostly for the sake of cutting off whatever protests were coming his way. 

“No arguing. Your beloved King clearly needs a nap, and that means you’re all off duty. Unless," he adds with a raised eyebrow, "you intend to watch him sleep?"

Dustin looks torn, but mutters a quiet, "No," his eyes shifting sideways like he's weighing the logic.

"Good. Then if you’re all finished…?”

He waits for the nods he knows are coming. 

“Excellent. Now leave." Eddie says, pointing towards the door. 

They hesitate for a second, but then finally begin to shuffle out, the door clicking quietly behind them. 

And just like that, Eddie’s left standing there, watching Steve breathe shallowly on the couch--with a washrag over his eyes.

(At least Dustin managed that.) 

He could leave now. 

Should leave, really. Giving out drugs for free is not exactly a good business move and Steve will no doubt sleep the headache off without it. But Eddie’s feet don't seem to agree with him, rooted in place as his gaze lingers on the sharp line of Steve's jaw, the slight twitch of his brow every time a muscle aches.

Feels the pull, deep in his gut, to provide the relief he knows he can give. 

Before he knows what’s happening, he’s moving, crossing the room toward him.

“Munson?” Harrington squints up at him as he registers his presence, washcloth nudged upwards by shaky fingers. “Why’r you still ‘ere?” 

“Because I’m stupid.” Eddie mutters, right before realizing he actually said that outloud. 

“What?” 

Thank God for Harrington’s headache. 

“You look terrible, man.”  Eddie says slightly louder. “That hair of yours is so flat I think your crown’s gonna fall right off.” 

He’d meant it as a joke--spoke it like one, but it seems to snap Harrington out of his pity party. 

The sigh that blasts out of him is a whole body affair, and gets his feelings across better than his words do. “I get it. You thought this was something else and it wasn’t. Not the first time that’s happened.” 

He turns, cheek scraping against the fabric of his shirt, red rimmed eyes squinting against the light to look at Eddie. 

“You got your laugh in, so you can go.” 

There’s defeat in his voice. Like he’s accepted this might as well have happened. 

(Like he’s just as beaten down as anyone Eddie has ever saved.) 

“I didn’t stick around to laugh.” Eddie keeps his voice soft, and that somehow, makes the next part easier to say.  

“I honestly thought you were messing around with Henderson and Sinclair, and I uh, I’m used to being the only person who gives a shit. When that kind of thing happens.” 

Harrington grimaces. 

“It’s okay.” he mutters, eyes sliding closed once more. “Most people still think I’m an asshole.”

His tone has gone odd again, wrecked and rasping, migraine clearly trumping whatever strong feelings he had on the matter. 

And the stupid thing was, Harrington himself was never really an asshole. 

Sure he went along with the assholes, and he definitely egged them on if not outright participated in some of the lower tier shitty activities, but he wasn’t the guy slamming people into lockers. 

(Eddie, in fact, has a hazy memory of Steve telling off Hagan for doing said locker slamming.) 

It didn’t make him a good guy--he’d had slung too many insults around to get that label--but in the rankings of assholery, his was of the average variety. 

Which means that Eddie cannot logic himself out of his own stupid desire to help.

Even if he really, really wants to.

“Yeah well, even assholes need assistance sometimes, and since I kicked your help out, it’s on to make up for it.” 

“No offense,” Steve slurs tiredly, “but I don’t think you’re any quieter than Dustin.” 

A smile ghosts over Eddie’s face. 

“I live in a tiny ass trailer, Harrington. Trust me,  I know how to be quiet. I simply choose not to be.” He moves, slow and careful, until he’s seated next to the fallen King on his stupidly huge (and very uncomfortable) couch. 

Steve’s eye follows him over, staring up as he white knuckles his sweatpants, washrag sitting crooked on his forehead. 

“I’m not sure I’m not gonna throw up again.” He admits after a moment. 

“And that right there is one of the things I can help with. Provided,” Eddie waggles his eyebrows, “that you don’t mind taking a more recreational route for your recovery?” 

“....are you offering me drugs?” 

“I am indeed.” Eddie confirms with a real smile, plucking the offending baggie out of a pocket. 

“You ever done shrooms, your majesty?” 

Steve huffs a quiet noise that might have been a snort, had he put any effort behind it. 

“How is that going to help?” 

“Be-cauuuuuse,” Eddie draws the words out, still a showman even if he is doing his level best to talk as quietly as possible, “shrooms are what we call a psychedelic, and those are pretty well known among certain circles as the headache healer.” 

Provided one took the medicinal amount and not the down-the-rabbit-hole amount. 

Harrington’s eyes are back open, only this time they’re looking at Eddie’s fingers the same way a dog looks at a nail trimmer: concerned and not entirely unsure it wasn’t going to bite him. 

“I’m not…” He cuts himself off, frowning. 

“You’ve bought plenty of my weed, Harrington. Trust me this isn’t any different.” Eddie tells him. 

Isn’t offended in the slightest--this reaction is pretty typical for people who have only smoked the ganja. 

Even the ones who asked to try for something with a little more ‘umph.’ 

“S’not that.”Steve admits quietly. “I uh. Had a bad trip. While back.” 

“Ah, gunshy.” Eddie says it without a lick of judgment, because Eddie’s been there.

Or rather in the shower, at two am because he accidentally spilled LSD on his hand and promptly tripped balls for 48 hours after.  

 “I’ll hang around a bit, if you like.” He offers casually. “Make sure things don’t go sideways.”

He gets another huff-snort as Harrington’s watery eyes return their attention to him. 

“And what are you going to do if they do go sideways?”

“Put you back together again.”  

Eddie knows his grin is crooked, but can’t help it. He’s thinking about Humpty Dumpty and the King’s Men.  

Somehow he doesn’t see Steve Harrington cracking that easily—at least, not without putting up a good fight—but drugs did worse things to better people. 

“It really helps?” Steve asks, voice quiet. Doubtful.

Eddie presses his hands to his chest. “Scouts honor.”

“You were not a boy scout.” Steve tells him, but he’s struggling to sit up anyway, looking game. 

“Alright, so how do I do this?” He asks, though he’s already halfway down again, propped up on his elbows.

“First, you lay back down, and I’ll brew it into tea,” Eddie explains. 

“Tea?”

“Well, you could eat them straight, but I don’t think they’d taste too great. Not that I wouldn’t mind watching you try.”

Steve scowls. “Sadist.”

“Guilty,” Eddie replies, biting back the urge to sing-song it, keeping his voice down and steady. “Just a heads-up: they kick in fast, but I’ll go light on you—nothing like the ‘fun’ dose for the usual crowd.”

Which is how he ends up back in the kitchen, this time making tea and humming to himself, before offering the final brewed concoction to Harrington.

Who downs it like a shot, because he’s a fucking frat-bro at heart. 

“I didn’t find a teacup for you to do that.” 

Between a full-body shudder and a dramatic grimace, Steve chokes out “Not gonna lie I didn’t think we owned a teacup.” 

“What, do you think I just have them in my van?”

“Honestly? Yeah.” 

Which is kind of hysterical, and something Eddie may be doing--not that he’s telling Harrington that. 

“And now we wait!” He announces instead of rambling about teacups, nearly clapping his hands together before he remembers the migraine Steve is soldiering through with surprising grit. 

Eddie himself would have turned into a whiny mess, so he can’t help but admire the guy’s restraint.

“Waiting to see if I hurl again, you mean?” Steve mutters, flopping backward onto the couch. “That tasted like battery acid.”

“Think it’s coming back up?”

“No clue.”

They sit in silence for a second, then Eddie pokes, “Maybe it’s best if you crash in your room, man. You look like death warmed over, and this couch sucks.” 

An understatement, if there ever was one. The fucking thing didn’t seem to be made for people to actually sit on. 

Reluctantly, Steve pulls himself up, heading toward his room. Eddie tags along, snarky grin covering the way he holds his hands out in case the jock ahead of him slips on the stairs and takes them both out. 

(Unlike Mayfield, Eddie does not pretend Steve doesn’t outclass him weight wise. The man was built like a brickhouse, and he has to fight to keep his eyes up toward Steve’s hair instead of on his ass.) 

Thankfully, he’s saved from all R-rated thoughts by the sheer horror of Harrington’s bedroom. 

“Harrington, I’ve found the source of all your migraines.” Eddie tells him, tone as serious as he’s ever been.

“Ha-ha.” Steve deadpans, stepping into his plaid fucking room. 

“I’m not kidding, I’m getting a headache and I’ve been here less than five seconds.” 

The whole place truly is a nightmare--like someone took one of those plaid hunting jackets and themed an entire room around it. 

Fucking rich people. 

“Trust me, it’s not the wallpaper.” 

“Given how you’re weaving on your feet, I think it’s safe to say I don’t trust you at all.” Eddie tells him, half helping half dragging Steve towards the bed. 

It’s a comfy looking thing and Harrington falls into it gratefully, immediately crawling under the covers. 

“You know where to find me?” Eddie asks him, refusing to think Harrington snuggling up in his bed is something cute. 

“Yeah?”

“Good. Hit me up next time your head gets bad. I’ll make sure to keep some of this,” He shakes the little baggie, “on hand.” 

Steve’s pulled the covers all the way up past his chin, but he moves it down a little to properly cock an eye at Eddie. 

“Dare I ask what you're gonna charge for that?”

“Let’s call it a fair trade for all those times you’ve driven the freshman home from Hellfire.” 

If Steve even recalls this conversation, that is. Eddie hadn’t exactly given him the “fun” kind of dose, but then, he himself has never tested out what dose is needed to cure headaches rather than simply having  fun destroying one's own ego. 

He supposes that’s something he and Harrington both will have to test, between them--because Eddie meant it when he offered the drugs for free.

No one deserves to suffer from the kind of migraine Harrington clearly had. 

“Think you’re good to drop off.” Eddie tells him, after making sure Steve is happily content in his bed. 

Checks his watch to make sure enough time has passed to safely call it, before beginning to attempt his way out of Steve’s god-awful bedroom. 

Which of course, is when Harrington reaches out, looping his fingers around Eddie’s wrist. 

It freezes him in place. 

In a moment that is so utterly selfish and stupid that Eddie will loudly insist it was a hallucination should Harrington ever dare ask about it, he turns his palm and moves so that he’s clasping Steve’s fingers with his own. 

“Thanks. For all this.” Steve whispers, as they hold hands for a moment. 

Eddie squeezes his fingers against the younger man’s before he moves to make his retreat, flashing a peace sign over his shoulder as he goes.  

“Anytime, big boy.” 

Anytime. 

xxx

The thing no one tells you about creating a doctrine, is that at some point or another, someone’s going to hold you to it. 

In Eddie’s case it’s four very pissed off teenagers.

He has a gold medal in mental gymnastics and a silver in denial. Left on his own devices he could easily excuse everything that happened yesterday. 

Reclassify the fallen King as pathetic, and the kids' weird loyalty to him as a holdover from his babysitting days. 

Blame their nosy-ness on them being involved in Harrington’s life, and happily go back to mocking their relationship with renewed vigor because now he’s not going to handwave their behavior as being afraid of Harrington. 

Nope, they clearly and willingly, have attached themselves to the King, which means Eddie gets to make fun of them for life. 

Pity they don’t leave Eddie to his own devices. 

In fact, the little shits hit him up first thing in the morning, early enough that he's’ a little suspicious that the boys slept over at Max’s trailer. 

“We’re not done talking about Steve.” Mayfield tells him and given the determined (Henderson) angry (Sinclair) and put out (Wheeler Jr.) faces glaring at him from over her shoulder, Eddie figures his chances for getting out of this conversation are slim to none.

“Good morning to you too.” He snarks, voice gravel-deep with sleep. “What do you little shits want?”

“I literally just said.” Max rolls her eyes so hard he thinks about commenting that they may stick back there, only to decide that makes him sound too much like a teacher for his liking. 

(Besides if they get stuck, he’ll have an excuse to whack her on the back of her head without getting murdered for it.

…well. 

An attempt at an excuse, anyway.) 

“And who says I have anything I want to talk about?” He fires back, leaning a shoulder against the old metal doorframe. 

Just because he understood what they wanted didn’t mean he was going to make it easy. 

“Would you just let us in?” 

“No.” 

“Eddie.” Dustin whines, and Eddie redirects his frown his way. “Come on.” 

“Well I suppose if you say it that way,” Eddie hums thoughtfully. “No.” 

“Steve’s sick, you asswipe.” Max snaps angrily. 

“I know,” He volleys back, brightly sarcastic. “I saw him yesterday.”

Because it’s Mayfield, she matches him tit for tat, a mimicry of his sarcastic drawl entering her voice. “Good! You get to see him today too.”

And just like that their little ambush makes sense.

(He’s got to find a new way to get the damn kids to fear him, clearly his usual menacingness  just isn’t cutting it anymore.) 

“And why would I do that?” 

He’s done his good deed. He helped Harrington out, and even offered free drugs to help him get his migraines under control. 

Checking up on the guy was overkill.  

“We were gonna do it, but someone let it slip that Steve was sick.” A cutting glance is given to Henderson, who makes a face but otherwise holds his ground. 

“And his mom called everyone else's parents with instructions that we leave him alone until he feels better.”  

“So now if we go over there,” Sinclair finishes for his girlfriend, “we get grounded.” 

Which neatly answers every question that just popped into Eddie’s head. 

The threat makes sense for the boys--Eddie’s met Claudia Henderson and though she has that bubbly, easy to confuse nature of suburbanites everywhere, there was an undercurrent in her eyes of someone who knew more than she was letting on. 

Or perhaps, someone who simply knew what they wanted, and was happy to settle and wait for it. 

 Likewise the Sinclair and Wheeler parental units seem to want to keep in her--and Steve’s, no doubt, given he carts their kids around--good graces. 

Given Mayfield’s mom wasn’t even home last night, her participation in this farce does not make sense and Eddie narrows his eyes at her in warning. 

“I fail to see how this is my problem.” He says instead of directly calling her out.

She knows he knows, and he’s smart enough to figure out how to relay that without saying it directly. 

(An action taken out of respect for surviving a bad home life, and absolutely not because he’s terrified she’ll crawl through his window to enact revenge in the middle of the night.) 

“It’s your problem because you owe him one.” she tells him firmly. “And us.”

Oh no he does not. 

“How so?” He challenges with a snorted laugh. 

“You did kind of storm into his house and yell a lot.” Sinclair points out. He’s doing better at speaking up, Eddie realizes with a twisted sense of pride and dread. 

Not quite so easy to steamroll after his outburst yesterday. 

A part of him hopes that sticks around--Sinclair needs a spine, and not just because Mayfield will keep running circles around him until he grows one. 

The rest of Eddie is pissed off that he decided to get one now, when it directly impacted Eddie’s Saturday morning sleeping plans.  

Leave it to these dickheads to use a good deed against him.

“Look--we can’t make sure he’s okay. You can.” Mayfield steps up to jam a painted fingernail in Eddie’s chest. “He won’t let us do anything that will actually help him. You, he can't stop.” 

He does not take a step backward and thus lose all the cool points he has left in the eyes of the younger Hellfire members, but only because he’s already leaned up against the doorframe. 

He bares his teeth at her in a silent snarl instead. 

“We made it worse.” She admits, voice sharp. “And I don’t know how to make it better, but you seem to be able to, so congrats Munson--you get to go again!” 

Which gets Eddie’s back right up. 

He pushes off the doorframe, ready to tell Mayfield--and all his little dipshits--right off, except this is when Wheeler Jr., of all people, decides to add in his two cents. 

“If you don’t go, no one else will.” He looks off to the side while he says it, arms crossed tight across his chest and spitting the words out like he's admitting to a crime. “Robin’s not coming back until Monday and Nancy's got some stupid thing, so you’re literally the only person who can go.” 

Well just stab him in the heart, why don’t you. 

“What are the chances of you fucking back off to whatever hole you crawled out of if I refuse?” He asks, already knowing that he’s done for.

Accepted his fate, because he knows what it’s like not to have someone to rely on, when you need them the most. 

“Zero.” Sinclair and Henderson chant as one. 

“Well then.” He tells them with the biggest, most put upon sigh he can manage. “Guess you got me in a box here.” 

Mayfield grins at him.

It reminds him vaguely of a shark. 

A bloodthirsty, slightly demonic, mean shark. 

“Good. Go get dressed.”

“Oh I’m doing this right now, am I?” He complains, but he’s already moving to go back into his trailer. 

“We’re not leaving until you do!” Mayfield yells at him.

Eddie slams the door in her face. 

(He’s never adopting freshmen again, as long as he fucking lives.)

[freakyblud]

My Aphrodite shrine <33

AGHGSA don't mind the mess around it I'm in the process of cleaning my room...

I took a picture earlier of it before I finished painting the rose, added a cover and some paint to the khernips and added a pearl necklace to it

Some more advanced Hellenists might ask (im quite new), why am I keeping the khernips? Well, I did my first ever rituals yesterday and I'm keeping it as a symbolism for when I initiated myself. I've been into Greek mythology for a small while now- a few months, to be a teensy more pecise- and I love everything about it. I'm planning on getting the Song of Achilles and the Odyssey as actual books to be able to highlight and put notes in them. I've been, for multiple reasons, really closed off from any religion. I had a whole phase where I almost antagonized it- I couldn't get how someone could put their faith in something that didn't exist. I despised most christians for pushing their beliefs down and hating on people who didn't follow strict standards they imposed on themselves and others because of some book written thousands of years ago.

I know now it's way more than that and I honestly adore Hellenism and being a part of it is refreshing <3 I was in a dark place, especially since 2020, and my discovery of Greek mythology helped even in the slightest. On another note, I have a project in my art class that are masks and I'm hesitating between a Hermes mask and an Aphrodite mask. I have designs for both and that's why I'm hesitating. I would add my Aphrodite mask to the shrine.

The Hermes mask would look like the EPIC version, except the surface would look like coins of multiple kinds and there'd be two snakes coming down both sides of the mask and crossing with a wing on each sides. Meanwhile, the Aphrodite one would have the form and texture of a seashell with pearls on the bottom and around the eyes, with shiny transparent rocks climbing up in the middle of it. I'd be hyped for either but I still need help choosing :')

[jessaerys]

or you're a dog and i'm your man

[deoidesign]

My comic is so pretty...

The hiatus is letting me take a little extra time on these episodes, and I'm definitely putting it to good use!!!

[reminiscentrainclouds]

Daily yttd art day 10! They are NOT appropriately dressed for the beach.

[marshmallowgoop]

I combined footage from my Detektiv Conan Blu-ray with audio from my Case Closed FUNimation DVD and made an HD English dub clip compilation for Episodes 57-58, "The Holmes Freak Murder Case."

[can-of-slorgs]

The other researchers are also here! (magical edition!)