#this sounds pathetic I know it does okay. it just that I was reminded today that I never received a love letter

[pretentiouswreckingball]

……sometimes I do resent the fact that i never got the chance to have a teenage romance :/

[verstappentime]

divorce verse for your wednesday <3 this is from after max & dan break up. (the rest of this verse is here) (the scene previous to this will get finished but this is what i have today <3) The first night Daniel’s gone, Max walks into a fucking wall trying to go to the bathroom.

It’s happened before, because his depth perception is awful and worse in the dark and worse sometimes than others, but usually he hits knee-first or something. Nope, just a wall right to the orbital bone. 

It’s not something Daniel could have saved him from, but it still doesn’t make it any easier. Daniel’s not there to be woken up by his cursing a blue streak and ask if he’s alright, to sit him down and put ice on it and make him feel less pathetic.

His head is throbbing, in a normal person kind of way. He’s going to have a massive goose egg. He finally gets to the light switch, very, very carefully, and tempts himself to go down the hall with the promise of crying about it afterward.

It’s easier, with the bedroom light illuminating the way. He makes it there and back okay. 

He needs to not call Daniel, but he’s groggy and worked up and he gets confused at night and– he’s just going to lose it if he can’t talk to someone. 

Daniel picks up on the first ring. He must still have Max excluded from do not disturb. Must be sleeping with the ringer on.

“I walked into the wall,” he says, before Daniel can get anything out. 

“What?” He can hear Daniel sitting up, sheets rustling. He should be scolding Max for calling in the middle of the night. He doesn’t. “Are you hurt?” 

“I hit my head. Or, like, my face. Both.” Max touches where the bruise is forming on his head. He kind of forgot what hurt that’s not coming from the inside feels like. He pokes it again. He’s lucky he hit on bone, probably, and that it wasn’t a corner and he’s not bleeding. “I don’t know,” he says, voice cracking. 

“Okay.” Daniel’s all calm. This kind of stuff never bothers him. Max wants him to be here. “You sound alright. You weren’t, like, running, right? Do you have a headache?”  “No. I think– I think I am okay.” He pinches the bridge of his nose, just to see how bad it hurts. “This is shit, Daniel.”

“We need to get you some of those lights you can turn on with your voice, yeah? I’ll look in the morning.” We. He’s going to have to stop that. Not right now.

“I can– I’ll do it.” 

“I’ll remind you, then. What do you want to do right now?” 

“I don’t know,” Max says again. “I don’t want to get up again.” He presses his knuckles to his teeth, something awful in his chest. “I feel shit that I called you already.” 

“I don’t care. It’s good you did. I was scared that you wouldn’t. Makes me feel better.” Daniel pauses. “Not that I’m like, glad you walked into a wall.” 

“It sounds very stupid when you say it out loud.” He knows it’s his fault, but he can’t help it: “What am I going to do? Just call you always?” 

“You can, baby.” Daniel never tells him no. Daniel let him leave because he never tells him no. “You have other people, though. They’ll be happy to answer. You can call your mum or Victoria or Charles. But also me, if you want to.” 

Max wants Daniel to tell him that’s unfair. But the idea of being cut off from the only person that really knows what it’s like for him makes him want to throw up. Charles would laugh at him for this one, even though he wouldn’t mean to. Max says, “I think I want to go back to sleep.” 

“Good idea. You want me to stay on?” 

“No. That will be very boring for you.” Max lays down, turning over on his side, his back to where Daniel should be. “Are you sleeping too?” 

“Yeah, Maxy, I’m going to.” 

“Okay. Then we will both go to sleep.” 

“Yeah,” Daniel says, all gentle. “I’m going to text you tomorrow, okay? It’s okay if you don’t want to talk to me after that. But I’ll remind you about the lights and ask about your face.” 

“That’s fine.” He can’t know if he’ll remember, and he really does not want this to happen again, and– and now he knows for sure he’ll hear from Daniel tomorrow. 

There’s a beat where neither of them know what to say, but Daniel’s the bravest and he says, “I love you. Goodnight.” 

“I– Me too, Daniel.” He can’t lie. Not about that.

[haesunflower]

don’t let the ice melt | park gunwook

genre: fluff, comfort

pairing: reader (afab) x park gunwook

about/tags: in which reader is mad at gunwook, and gunwook does his very best to apologize

reader is an procrastinating grumpy student, established relationship, gunwook is just trying to be nice, gunwook best boy, reader is weak for gunwook, reader has pride lol, gyuvin is mentioned, gunwook is younger by a year but that’s not a major plot point

My god you were so annoyed today. 

You overslept after Gunwook forgot to wake you up from your “15 minute nap”. Gyuvin called early this morning to ask where you were, as class was about to start. Seeing as to how you didn’t finish any of the essays you were supposed to work on the night before – you ultimately skipped all your morning classes.

To make matters worse, Gunwook didn’t look the least bit apologetic. Well, at least not until you kicked him out of the room so you could focus. 

But that’s the thing, you couldn’t focus. You were overwhelmed, annoyed that you were overwhelmed, then angry. You weren’t even capable of finishing a complete thought, let alone an entire essay. The more you hit the backspace on your keyboard, the more frustrated you got. You were mad at yourself. If you hadn’t procrastinated, you wouldn’t be in this situation.

In defeat, you brought your hands to your head. You dug your nails into your scalp to relieve pressure, only to be disrupted by the sound of a door knob being opened. You saw Gunwook ever so lightly shuffling towards you, making sure to close the door gently behind him. You turned back around to your notes splayed across the table, fingernails no longer digging into your skin. Rather, busying itself with tapping against the surface of the wooden desk almost manically.

Personal frustration aside, the thing that actually irked you the most right now is that goddamned cute face of Park Gunwook. 

“I made your favorite” he says.

Your eyes travelled to the Spanish Latte he so carefully placed on your desk using two hands. As if he was scared to even set it down in the first place. His fingers trembled as he brought out the tissues from the cup holder, placing it ever so lightly under the burning cup.  

Because you didn’t acknowledge him, Gunwook took two steps away from where you were seated on your swivel chair. You couldn’t see it, but Gunwook had to wipe his sweaty palms against his jeans. Followed by a series of antsy movements, in which he ended up nervously massaging his right wrist with his left hand. He continued to fiddle with this hands like that as if he was mustering up the courage to say something.

“Noona, how long are you going to keep ignoring me?”, Gunwook asked in a low voice. 

You were imagining that he had his head down, eyes trailed to the floor. You knew he felt terrible, you could hear it in his voice. Just the image of Gunwook looking defeated and apologetic almost cracked away at the coldhearted act you were so set on continuing. 

You’re still mad at him,you try to remind yourself. Which is why you tried not to show any reaction. You didn’t want your ice-out to melt. You had too much pride. Which is exactly why you decided that you cannot, at any moment in time, dare look him in the eye. This was when you realized how weak you truly were, especially for a younger boy named Gunwook. 

You felt pathetic, how easily you could forget your anger just by looking at his face. In this situation, hearing his voice. And you couldn’t let him know that. 

“I don’t want to talk to you right now, Gunwook”, you mustered up the most frustrated sigh to express your disdain. 

He’s about to protest, but responds with an “oh..o-okay” 

Gunwook shoved his fists into the pockets of his black hoodie, turning away to the opposite direction. Disappointed, he dragged his feet back toward the door. 

You’re about to pick up the coffee, but you’re halted halfway when you get to read the words written on the cup. Gunwook must have seen you glance at it, because with false confidence he strides back to you. Your back still turned, he bends down to your left ear and whispers,

“I’ll just be outside okay?”

He places his lips against your cheeks, which instantly beams a bright red. You hope he didn’t feel the heat rush to your face. His small peck lingers as he walks away from you with his hands in his pockets, this time feeling satisfied. 

You only take a look at the coffee cup again after you hear the door shut. The words “I’m sorry, you just looked so sleepy last night. You needed the rest.” was written in black marker. He also included a little drawing of the two of you, with his caricature hugging your sleeping figure. 

Picking it up for further examination, you turned it around to see another message, only this time written in your native language: “When you’re done drinking this, place the cup outside the door. Then I’ll come in and hug you.”

Damn you, Park Gunwook. This is exactly why I can never stay mad at you. 

You drink from the coffee, never mind that it’s still kinda hot. You look back down at your laptop, and continued typing away – productivity at an all time high now that you were in a better mood.

Outside, Gunwook cleans up the mess he made. The coffee machine he left plugged in, the drafted cups splayed across the floor, all with differed drawing drafts of the message he left you, and the laptop he left open with Google Translate at bay. 

When he’s all done, he smirks when he hears the bedroom door open ever so slightly. He sees you put the cup outside, even if it is still half full. Gunwook smiles to himself before making his way back to you.   ---

A/N: first written work on my blog! hope you guys like it feel free to leave feedback ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა

[kaiso-woo]

Cookie Dough

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺

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-> Masterlist

BONUS #4 - Connections to ‘Stay Series’! This occurs on Christmas Day - right after the Skz Family has finally left your house in PART 14 - Merry Chris-mas (Felix Never Bad)

WC: 1.1k

Synopsis: So does anyone remember this from PART 14?

“You think we aren’t married?” You ask, sliding the bowl away from Chris for the umpteenth time, “Christopher get your paws out of Felix’s baking.” “He doesn’t mind.” “I mind,” you finish, turning away for a second to turn the oven on, only to have to lunge back for the bowl because Chris has nicked it again.

“Okay, here’s the deal baby, you either let me eat some of this or I eat you out later,” Chris wolfishly demands…

Notes: SMUT, PussyDrunk!Chan, Overstimulation, Oral (F Receiving), Traffic Light System (Used), Fluff?, Second Person Narration, Skz Fluent in English, Swearing, Idol!Chan, Fem!Reader

Here for a reading marathon? Head right back to the start!

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BONUS #4

!!Casual reminder this is entirely fictitious - Chris/Christopher in my work does not represent the actual Bang Chan - this is purely my imagination and nothing more - this goes for all other SKZ-Members too!!

--

You were on your phone. You were on your phone, lying on your bed on your god damn stomach, completely at ease with the world.

"Yeobo~" You had just showered, literally just showered, changed into pyjamas and were ready for bed. "Can I have my dessert please, honey?" You frown and roll over just enough so you can stare at Chris, standing at the bottom of the bed, his arms crossed over his chest. "There's ice cream in the fridge... and Felix's cookies that we made today... why're you asking me for dessert?"

Chris tilts his head slightly, his eyes scanning you from head to toe mischievously, "Not what I meant..." he whispers.

--

How hungry for dessert was he, exactly? Because Jesus Chri-

“Please…” he whines, grabbing your hips and dragging you back down to him, “Please baby. I need more.”

You groan and try to wriggle out of his grip, thrashing against his strength.

“Baby- baby c’mon. Please. I need more. You taste so fucking- god- so fucking good,” he breathes, the warmth against your heat making you shudder. Before you can argue with him, he hoists your legs over his shoulders again, tongue immediately lapping at the slick of your folds.

You release a drawn out whine and shovel your fist into your mouth, struggling to cope with the relentless pace of his tongue. In no time you’re quivering underneath him, his expert tongue swiping the places he knows will make you lose all sense of reality.

“Chris-” you moan, hand flying to lock into his curly hair and tug desperately, writhing, “Too sensitive- s’too much fuck Chris- Christopher-” He hums and sucks particularly hard at your clit, sending rockets of pleasure and pain shooting up your spine.

“Honey I know you can handle this. I know you can. You can do this for me, yeah? Please baby?” He begs, eyes drilling into your teary own, as two of his fingers sneakily slip into your aching hole. He groans at the sound of you whimpering, his other hand tightening on your thigh.

“Oh baby that’s it, moan for me. Let me hear you. I need more baby. I want more,” he continues, mouth falling open in loud pants as he pumps, his third finger sliding in with ease. You squirm and buck against him, trying desperately to muffle your moans instinctively, the precise opposite of what he’s asked.

He notices your attempts to silence yourself and growls, bringing his face down to suck in annoyance at your clit, “I said moan for me sweetheart," he demands against your heat and a pathetic groan escapes you. “There we go. 'Atta girl~”

The combination of his fingers and his tongue is splitting every last remaining brain cell you possess into eighths, his praise and sounds of pure desire at your own pleasure making your heartbeat intensify, your legs shake intensely, incomprehensible words falling out of your mouth.

Eventually, he removes his face from your core so he can watch your expression again, his eyes wide with rapt attention, his mouth parted in awe. If even possible, his fingers speed up, and he licks the juices around his mouth attentively.

“I could listen to you moan like this all day darling. 24/7. Fuck you with my fingers all the time. Yeah? You like the sound of that, don’t you?”

This is not good. His dirty talk. This is not good for you.

“You’re so tight and it’s just my fingers baby. How many times have you cum already, hm?” You’re struggling to think, let alone answer him, and when you don’t, his eyes darken. In a slow, taunting gesture, he leans down to lick an excruciatingly teasing line up the folds of your pussy.

“How many?” “Three three threehee-” you slur out, repeating the words over and over, in a daze.

“And why’s that?” “Ughh- fuck- fuck Chris- fuck it’s cause you- you feel so good- s'good- so good-” your voice dies in your throat pathetically as he curls his fingers and pumps harder, leaning over slightly for a better angle.

“Hm? What was that?” He asks innocently, juxtaposed against his devilish grin. “Your fucckahh fingers. Chris- I can’t- wait, please- sensitive-”

He ignores your last comments and places a gentle kiss to the inside of your thigh, “I’ll spell it out for you love, since you can't seem to function like a normal human being."

If he wasn't currently digging you into your own grave, you might have found the willpower to glare at him for his snarky attitude. Unfortunately he seems to love exploring what he's long since discovered, and you could do nothing but squirm.

"You’ve cum twice because of my fingers. And you’ve cum on my tongue because you taste so fucking delicious. I can’t get enough of you, isn’t that right? This meal? It’s mine. All for me. Whenever I'm fucking hungry.”

Your breath intensifying and your walls clenching around his fingers in a spasm lets Chris know you’re about to snap - so what does he do? Pulls his fingers out, briefly edging you. (A/N: I wanna throttle this man - non-sexually - for real sometimes, and I wrote him :|

You whine in desperation and open your mouth to complain when his fingers are replaced with his tongue flicking rapidly at your hole, diving in as deep as he could reach, hitting that soft spot straight away.

“Fuck Chris! Chris- oh shit-” you scream, that white-hot pressure picking up right where it was left off, washing over you with such force that you swear you dip into darkness for a second. When it dies down and the world slams into you heavily, you realise Chris is still lapping at your juices, eagerly sucking and licking, slurping away at the liquid between your legs.

He’s like a vampire. For your cum. His groans are sinful, pleased at having made you cum for the 4th time using only his mouth and fingers. But the overstimulation is too much. You can already feel that pressure building in your lower abdomen, and you’re worried that you’re seriously going to break something if you let him continue.

So amidst your whining and gasps, you manage to stutter out, “Red- red- Chris- red.”

You didn’t have to repeat the word at all. As soon as it fell from your lips the first time Chris stops his actions, breathing heavily. He wipes the excess from his chin and crawls to lay on top of you, placing a tender kiss to your lips - and you can taste yourself slightly.

He snuggles into your neck, trying to control his breathing and simultaneously stroking the side of your face, taking the time to brush any stray strands of hair away and tuck it behind your ear.

“Thank you love. You did so well for me. I'm so proud of you, thank you. Are you okay?” He mumbles, placing adoring kiss after adoring kiss on your neck, “Does it hurt too much? I’ll go get you a drink, yeah? Pineapple juice? Water?”

He makes to roll off you and leave, but you grab his shirt and pull him back, “It’s fine Chris. I’m okay… just… just stay with me please?” “I’m sorry,” he sighs, wrapping himself securely around you again, “I kind of lost myself there, you know what I'm like...” “You don’t say…” you laugh, stroking the curls at the back of his head affectionately.

“Not my fault you taste better than that cookie dough,” he grumbles, and you sigh in defeat. “You’re a man of your word, aren’t you?” “I gave you the option. Let me eat the cookie dough or-” “Okay okay- shush. Point taken.”

Point taken, indeed...

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-> Masterlist

And you've reached the complete end of 'Stay Series'! I hope it's been enjoyable :D

Until we meet again! - Kaisowoo

[auncyen]

act 5 au

today's writing progress which. may very well require changes lol

-

"I still have some questions," Odile says, and you bite back a sigh because of course she does. "You've been looping in time. What was this afternoon about? Why not just tell us then? What was the point of showing me the familytale today? You could have shown me when the loop was over."

"Because it makes you happy, and then you learn a useful skill." You hate the answer as soon as it leaves your mouth. You don't want to lie, but maybe that's too honest. Just tell them you're manipulative, why don't you?

Well, you are. That's why you showed her the familytale.

"Oh, huh." Isabeau sounds pensive. "Yeah, I've heard emotional clarity is good for figuring out new techniques. …You were trying to teach Bonnie something, too, weren't you? Though, putting yourself in danger really isn't a good way to do it, Sif. That was, uh, about the worst thing you could have done with them."

You roll your eye. "It always worked before. I wasn't in any real danger." The worst case scenario was that you'd need to loop, and it'd be really pathetic if such a weak Sadness caused that.

"Thaaaat's not how it sounded." Isabeau leans against the sink, folding his arms. "…You were trying to do that with all of us, weren't you? We were supposed to go stargazing? And, uh…" He looks over at Mirabelle, who huffs, seeming to have calmed down from her tears enough to manage indignation.

"I don't know how I would get any kind of 'emotional clarity' from that--"

"I said it wrong! I meant--"

"No, no! I want to figure it out myself," Mirabelle insists, puffing her cheeks out at you, so--fine. She doesn't need to know that skill anyway, her regular shield will do just fine--

You still haven't reminded her about the CARROT method. Stars. "Okay, but you do need to learn how to make a shield. So, remember the CARROT method, and figure it out."

Everyone looks baffled by various degrees, but that's fine. Mirabelle always looks confused when you hint it to her at the start of a loop anyway. "You know about the CARROT method?" Isabeau asks.

"No, I just know that she knows the CARROT method, and it helps her figure out how to make shields."

"What happens if I don't figure it out?" Mirabelle asks.

"King kills us."

…Oh, that was definitely a too-honest answer. Mirabelle's eyes go round as saucers as one hand flies to her mouth, and even Odile looks alarmed next to her. "…Sif," Isabeau says slowly. "The way you said that…have we actually died?"

You look aside. "He finishes me off first and then I loop back, so, I don't think so?" Not as long as there's only one timeline getting reset, which you have to believe. You can't stomach the situations you've left the others in if they stayed after you were gone. "But it doesn't look good."

"You've died." Isabeau doesn't seem to take any relief from the clarification.

"And then I loop back, and I'm fine!" You sweep your hand in front of yourself, from the brim of your hat to just below your hips, and smile at him. "See?"

His eyebrows stay hovering far above where they normally would rest. You keep smiling at him, fighting not to bare your teeth.

"Sif--"

"Stars, Isa, am I bleeding?" you snap. Why can't he just believe you? "Do you see some gaping wound I've missed? Looping resets everything! I'm not hurt! I'm fine!" You turn to Odile. "Why would I tell everyone I'm looping through time when people are going to get hung up on stupid things like this?"

Odile looks so disappointed with you. "Do you really think you're fine, Siffrin?"

[lunaasolstice]

Master of Puppets | 3

Summary: You meet someone who caught your attention the first time, and he was all you desired.

But what happens when that desire is taken for granted?

Pairings: Chishiya x Fem!Reader

Genre: Slowburn, Angst

A/N: This chapter 3 of the MoP series! Chapter 3 is shorter than I expected so I apologize. Hope you guys still enjoy :)

****

Embarrassment was far more than you could describe what happened that night. Grabbing the pillow next to you, you let out a loud scream while kicking your legs. It wasn’t until today where you actually laid down in your bed and carefully thought about everything that happened in those moments with Chishiya. And the more you thought about it, the more you realized how right he actually was. Chishiya did have an affect on you, and it was making you go crazy.

You have absolutely no idea why or how it happened but he’s someone that you just didn’t want to get enough of. He’s on your mind consistently, whether you liked to admit it or not. Even when you would hang out with Kuina, sometimes you couldn’t help but ask about Chishiya to see if he was doing okay and just making sure that he was still alive. Kuina has asked you if you wanted to go with her to be with Chishiya and you turned her down. You just couldn’t face him. Not right now. Although Kuina was skeptical about it, she never pushed you on. She figured you would tell her once you feel comfortable and reminded you again that she will always be there for you. My guardian angel. 

But it’s hard, having to isolate yourself because you feared the truth. And what scared you about Chishiya is that he knows the truth. And it begs the question:

Does Chishiya know you better than yourself? 

The thought of it makes your mind and heart go around in circles like a roundabout. If he knew the truth it’s just best to be honest about it right? What was his stance on the matter? Does it bother him that you are going to be appear more often now that you are close with Kuina? You know you can’t hide from him forever and vice versa, so will he just continue to ignore you? Or will he take an initiative?

But why would he bother taking an initiative if he told you that he didn’t want to be friends with someone as pathetic as you are? Again you screamed in the pillow. Even if he doesn’t want to, you know that being close to him is something that you felt you need to do. 

Rather than just running away, you knew you just had to accept the truth. The whole truth and nothing but the truth. That truth being that you wanted Chishiya more than anything. 

Quickly jumping off the bed you put on your shoes and start heading out the door. You weren’t exactly sure where you could find him right now but you had a few ideas where he could be. You just hope that he hasn’t left for a game so soon.

-

Looking for this man was giving you an absolute headache because he was nowhere to be found. You checked the obvious places and people but found no sign of him. It was getting ridiculous how much you were running around the Beach trying to find him, and the weird looks people were giving you wasn’t helping either.  You figured you would just call it a night and head back to your room and try again the next day.

Walking along the corridors of your floor you spot him coming from the opposite direction. Your heart starts to accelerate.

Just stay calm.

Slowly walking up to him you can feel the anxiety coming straight at you like a hurricane. This is probably the worst idea ever but there is no turning back now. Now face to face with him, he pulls out the earphones that he had on and gives you a raised eyebrow. 

“Chishiya! Hi- sorry um..” giving yourself a deep breath you continued, “sorry I just wanted to let you know that you are absolutely right. You do have an affect on me and I can’t explain why, but all I know is that I really like you. I like you so much and I know that sounds crazy because you barely know me and I don’t really know much about you either but I just… I feel like I’ve always had these feelings for you since I first saw you and they won’t go away. I think it’s the best if you knew the truth.” You look at him straight in the eyes, your heart palpitating with your palms already sweating.

Breaking the eye contact you look down at your hands and start playing with them, as if they were the most interesting thing in the world. Why isn’t he saying anything? Taking another deep breath you look back at him, his eyes were still on you. The smirk grew wider before he speaks,

“The question is how long did it take you to know the truth?

“Oh? Well I guess I didn’t realize until… that night” you gulped. You watch as he slowly started to inch toward you, just like he did on the rooftop. Your legs were frozen in place, not moving an inch from where you stood. He was at your eye level, but this time he was slowly getting closer to you. Your faces were now inches away from each other, lips centimeters away. “Was it when I came close to you like this?”

You gasped and he chuckles, quickly backing off before continuing, “I think it’s cute, however you serve no purpose for me at the moment.”  Giving you one last smirk he starts walking away, leaving you once again in delirium. 

 ***

The thick black smoke circled around while you were laying on the cold concrete floor underneath as you sleep. The smoke becomes thicker and your throat and lungs were getting severely irritated. You start to cough aggressively, hoping to remove the impurities that were in your respiratory system. Getting up, you tried to breathe to get any clean air into your system. The feeling only made you feel worse. The black smoke forbid you to see your surroundings, but you knew you had to get out of here. Coughing and running you try to find any signs of an exit. The place was like a labyrinth; so many twists and turns and it was as if you made an entire circle. Your body was screaming in desperation to get out, and you looked for another route to make it out of this crazy labyrinth. 

Running south this time, a bit of the black smoke clears up and you see a figure standing several meters away from you. Getting closer you see the man with his signature white hoodie. He was surrounded by water – lots of water, like the entire Sea of Japan was behind him. And he was just standing there watching you. You try to run towards him, calling out his name. HIs figure stood there with no response. The black smoke that you thought you escaped from was chasing after you, and the fire began to spread further as you continued running. Looking back, you see the raging hells were geting larger. You forced your legs to quicken their pace, hoping to reach the man that oh so desperately had what you needed. 

Just a few feet away and as you jumped into the water, you quickly swam over. His body was now right in front of you, giving you that sly smirk. Admiring his features, your fingers couldn’t resist but to touch the delicate soft skin against his cheek. Did he always have a small mole underneath his left eye? He doesn’t move an inch, and your eyes move towards his lips. Your thumb gently rubs against the bottom of his lip before you lean in and touch his lips with yours. The fire that was once coming after you has completely engulfed inside your body. The kiss lasted for several seconds and you did not want to stop. When you let go and open your eyes, his beautiful presence was not there. Looking around you see that he has completely disappeared, and it was just you alone in the darkness with the cold water surrounding you. 

You called out his name repeatedly, even screaming his name at the top of your lungs but to no avail. Tears were coming out of your eyes as you sobbed. You dive in looking to see if he was in the deep waters with only the darkness staring back at you. It was no use searching for him. Wailing now, the sobs continued, and the tears blurring your vision forbid you from seeing the tidal waves completely consuming you. 

[kyaroscuro]

6:09pm

Once in a while you feel blue, gloomy, woeful or every synonyms of the word. And even if you feel like the world is against you, Juyeon will always stand by your side.

pairing : juyeon x reader genre : angst, established relationship, fluff warnings : anxiety, self-deprecation, sadness, hurt/comfort notes : sometimes you just need someone to remind you you're worth it and loved <3 words count : 1094

You stayed home all day, not because you were forced to, but because you wanted to. It was supposed to be a cool day, chilling at home, watching a movie, cooking yourself a nice meal and maybe doing some chores and working. But the day went by without you doing anything. Oh, you did something. Wrapped in one of Juyeon’s warm sweaters on the couch you were mulling over your sadness. Why did no one check up on you ? And if they did, which was rare, why didn’t they try to cheer you up ? I don’t know by distracting you or by saying sweet things and reaching out to you. Why were you not good for anything ? Neither in studies nor in friendship. You were literally failing at everything and everybody. Yep. Spiralling. Your head has been hurting for, oh god knows how long, but you don’t bother to take anything to make yourself feel better. As if you want to punish yourself even more. The only thing keeping you from crying is Juyeon’s scent. On the sweater you were wearing, on the couch cushions and even in the air. You were not really sad, you felt broken.

The sound of the keys turning in the lock brought you back to reality, and with what little energy you had left, you turned your head towards the door to see a smiling Juyeon holding a bag of what appeared to be food. Probably your favourite. Ah, your boyfriend is the sweetest, there’s no denying that. You know he gets worried when his eyes land on you and you hate that. If there’s one person you know will always be there for you, it’s him. Any close friend may leave, but he’s here to stay. Juyeon will never leave you, right ?

“Baby I’m home, how was your-,” he starts before seeing you curled up in a ball. “Oh, what’s wrong love, i’m here, tell me everything, let it out”

His whole focus is on you now, you smile weakly in an attempt to let him know it’s okay, you’ll get over it and it’s just a day like this. But he makes his way to the couch to hold you, he’s here, with you. Maybe then you can let it out ?

“I feel like shit,” you choke out, feeling the tears escape from your eyes. Ah, you’ll cry if you go on. “I feel like I’m the worst person in the world and I don’t deserve anything.”

He strokes your hair and wants to retort but you don’t let him speak. He just pulls you closer, you can almost feel his heartbeat. It’s reassuring. It’s a bit erratic because he cares about you and you’re obviously hurt and sad and he doesn’t know what to do except be with you and plant kisses on your hair.

“I just don’t know what do to Ju. I’ve been thinking about it all day and I hate myself, I hate that I’m so sad and I hate that I have to make you deal with my pathetic behaviour,” you cry even harder soaking his shirt.

But he stays here. And you know he wants to talk to you about it, but he also knows you need to calm down first or you won’t be able to hear anything. So he does what he does best : he takes you on his lap, wraps his strong arms around you and rocks you back and forth until you giggle and tell him to stop. You’re not a baby ! But you’re his baby. Sometimes, when you feel really down, like today, he hums and even sings to you. It’s no surprise when his raspy voice echoes around the living room, but you still gasp for air. And the crying stops immediately.

Your eyes meet and you see the love and concern in his eyes. But he continues to sing, because actions speak louder than words. When you start humming along with him, a smile slowly spreads across his face, and because his smile has always been so contagious, the corners of your mouth start to widen.

“You are amazing love,” he whispers first. “No, no, no, to me you’re the most amazing person ever, and you know I’m not just saying that to make you feel better. You’re amazing in every way and it’s even hotter because you give yourself every chance to succeed. Do you know how you motivate me to be a better person ? For myself and for you. And I am beyond happy to be yours. To be able to call you mine. Because at the end of the day, you’re the one who keeps me sane. You’re beautiful, even with salty beads rolling down your face. You inspire me. Even now, you are the canvas and I am the painter. I wish you could see yourself as I see you, strong, flawless, independent and so lovable. I want you whole, I told you when we started dating that you’d be stuck with me. I don’t want to leave such a beautiful soul behind me, no, I want to grow old with you and learn from you. I want to cherish you. For the rest of my life. And if that means cuddling you to sleep when you’re exhausted or singing to you when you’re feeling down, then I’ll be here. I want you to know that you are my greatest pride,” he began to kiss away your tears, and you laughed because he couldn’t get rid of them as they continued with his words.

“It comes from both my heart and soul, I love you” he seals your lips with a soft kiss and you feel warm.

You open up, but he steals your words with another kiss. And then another. Until you’re a giggling mess and you force him to stop.

“Juyeon let me return your feelings !” you laugh as he kisses your nose.

“I don’t need anything but you ! Except maybe your kisses”

So you take him in your arms and give him a big kiss. He’s a little surprised by the sudden strength, but his energy matches yours perfectly. And he knows you’re going to shower him with love, not because you owe him anything, but because you want to. Today you’ve been sad and lonely but sadness and loneliness mean nothing when he’s with you. Because he will always be there for you. And you’ll always be there for him.

[rosenbergamot]

“What is he doing here.” 

“Huh?” Jimmy turns to stare at him with those big brown eyes. His face splits into a grin. He’s got a little cocktail in his hands, his wings fluttering excitedly as he sees him. “Grian! It’s lovely to see you!”

“What are you doing here.” He reiterates. 

Jimmy leans over the table to spear a piece of cheese onto his toothpick, pops it into his mouth, and then shrugs, still perusing the snack table as if he hasn’t a care in the world. “Uh, I dunno, man… Tango just invited me here, so now I’m here.”

“Uh-huh.” He won’t say he’s not happy to see him here, but they’ve got this thing going, and Grian would rather be thrown out a fucking window than be the one to break a bit. “And now you’re just here? All comfy with your fruity little cocktail?”

He laughs, hearty and full. Not the least bit offended. “Well, yeah, mate? Tango’s at the bar right now, so I got whatever the heck he made me-- tastes wonderful, though, I’ll tell you that! The man’s a great bartender--”

“Tim,” he cuts him off. “I don’t care.”

Another piece of cheese is deposited into his mouth. As he chews, he says, “alright, man. Jeez…” 

And maybe it’s because he’s drunk, but Timmy is looking extra pathetic today. And he’s feeling extra emotional. And maybe-- just maybe-- he’s got a soft spot for the guy. So he sighs, shakes out his wings, and then slowly, so slowly, begins to wrap his arms around Jimmy. The guy drops his next piece of cheese.

“Grian?!” He shouts. “What the heck are you doing?”

“I’m. Hugging. You. Tim.” He squeezes him tight to will out any protests. It doesn’t work. 

“What the heck?” He laughs, then wraps his arms around Grian in return. “You must be drunk, my friend, because you never do this. Actually, am I even alive right now? Somebody pinch me!”

He flicks him on the forehead. Jimmy flicks him right back, as if on instinct, then goes right back to hugging him. 

“I’m alive, I’m awake, but I’m worried for your mental health, mate.” 

“I. Can be nice. Sometimes.” It is actually physically painful. Why is he subjecting himself to this. This is hell. This is torture. 

Jimmy nuzzles his face into his hair. “Awww, man! You’re sweet when you’re drunk! Might just hafta start hugging’ you everytime I see you now!” 

He squeezes him so tightly he knocks the air out of him. Nails against his back, he says, “don’t ever say that again.”

“Okay-- okay!” Jimmy wheezes out, pounding at his back. “Let me go! I can’t breathe!”

He releases him, and Jimmy immediately scurries out of arm’s reach, panting. “Y-You’re a menace, you know that, right?”

“Aw, Tim, you flatter me.”

Another laugh, one which sounds like he just smoked a pack of cigarettes. He’s doubled over, hands on his knees, catching his breath. His cocktail is very slowly spilling out of his glass. Grian watches it and doesn’t care to tell him. It’s kind of funny. 

“Yeah. Alright. Remind me to never get that close to you again.”

“Oh, don’t worry. It’s never happening again.”

He slaps his knee, bending down further, and the drink pours out at a faster rate. The pink concoction is making a puddle on the ground. Miraculously, Jimmy still does not notice. “Well, I guess I’m happy it happened once! Even if you tried to flippin’ kill me with it…”

“I’m a fickle man, Tim.” The glass is now empty. “Anyways, we’re doing a tequila shot later if you’re interested.” 

He brightens up immediately, eyes twinkling. “Oh! Oh my goodness! And you’re inviting me?” 

His face sours. “I don’t have a choice, mate. You’re here whether I like it or not.” 

The smile that Tim gives him is radiant. Back to normal, then. 

It’s… nice? God, nevermind, that makes him want to throw up. It’s bad and he hates it because Jimmy is annoying. That’s enough niceties for one day. 

“I’d love to, Grian! I’d love to!”

And that’s about all the Jimmy he can handle right now. He turns around and slips back into the crowd. As he’s weaving his way through Hermits, he hears an ear piercing shriek from behind him.

“MY DRINK IS GONE!”

[sevi007]

So I’ve been working my new job – an IT-support hotline, well, okay, a very limited category of IT-support, only for the products our company offers – for three months now and just realized I never rambled about it on here, so.

Have some funny outtakes from hours and hours of phone calls (and one kind of sad one):

   Customer: “Fair warning, miss – I’m an old man, so explaining all this computer stuff to me will take a while!”

Me: “Alright then, fair warning back – I’ve only been working this job for three months now, so might be that we have to figure out some stuff as we go.”

Customer: “HAH, what a pair we make!”

   Waiting to see if the problem is now fixed

Customer: “We should do a prayer circle or something. You got any candles?”

Me: “A prayer circle with only two people is kind of pathetic, no?”

Customer: “Well, yeah, with that attitude for sure!”

Me: “So sorry to ruin the moment!”

 Same Customer, half an hour later, problem fixed: “Thank GOD – is there some kind of feedback chart I can fill out for you? You’re getting gold stars all over.”

Me: “Even though I didn’t do a prayer circle with you?”

Customer: “I will let it slide this once. Gold stars all around.”

   Customer: “Welp, since we gotta wait until that software does its job – might have to flirt with each other to pass the time.”

Me, as ace as they freaking come: “Wrong address for that, sir. I can ask a colleague to take over for me though?”

   Customer: “Has anybody ever told you that you have such a nice, calming voice? I mean. I feel like I’m drinking a sleeping draught, here.”

Me: “That makes me sound like I’m boring you to sleep.”

Customer: “If I start snoring, don’t be offended, that’s a compliment.”

   Customer: “I’ve been kicked out of the call for no reason for the fourth time today!”

Me: “Oh. Want to see how far we get in trouble shooting before it kicks you again?”

Customer starts laughing so loudly I have to take the phone away from my ear. “Miss, I like the attitude!”

(He did get kicked out three more times, but we fixed his problem)

   Angry Customer, as soon as I pick up the phone: “Oh, no, no!”

Me: “Sir? What is the-…”

Customer: “No, I want a man on the phone. Get me one of your colleagues on the phone!”

At that point I had already been warned that computers and stuff are still considered a “man’s job” for some people, so sometimes, there’s the rare customer who does not a woman helping him. I had been advised to just hand the call over. Me, perplexed dork that I am, just blurt out: “Would it help you if I talked with a deeper voice, or…?”

Let’s say HE was not happy, but my colleague nearby burst out laughing so hard he had to skip the next phone call.

   Customer: “… and so I told your colleague he has to pass me over to you, Miss Sevi, because you already know I’m a hopeless case!”

Me: “Mister Smith, we talked about this – no badmouthing my favourite customer, please.”

Customer: “I’m literally calling you every two days with another problem.”

Me: “Yea, and it makes my day. So hush. Let’s fix your problem now.”

   Customer, super nice elderly lady: “I like talking to you, you know. You’re so kind and patient.”

Me: “Aw, thank you. You’re also a very nice customer.”

Customer: “You know. You remind me a lot of my granddaughter.... I miss her every day.”

Me, after an “aw fudge” moment: “Ma’am? Do you maybe want to call again?”

Customer: “Can I? Not too often, I know you’re busy of course-…”

Me: “I will find the time. Just ask for me, okay?”

(We have been talking once a week now. Like, ten minutes, just talking about her day, or some funny moments I had in the office, but she seems to love it. I haven’t told my boss, so shhhh)

[symmage]

"There you two are!" Yasmine laughed. I thought the two of you would be out by the swings, and here you are in here instead."

"This is my son Jacoby and daughter Briyana."

Briyana seemed more interested in the doorbell than turning to speak while Jacoby nonchalantly stared at Kayna.

"Boy, what is wrong with you today?" Yasmine questioned. "This is day two of you moping around."

"Nothing, momma. I'm okay." Jacoby answered dryly while shuffling his foot on the floor. His big brown eyes stared pathetically up at Kayna.

Yasmine shook her head. "Jacoby, this is our new neighbor, Kayna. She's also the new live-in landlord."

"Nice to meet you, ma'am." he finally said with a smile.

"Ok! Much better," Yasmine chuckled. "Briyana, please turn around to greet our new neighbor."

Briyana playfully spun her petite frame around. "Hi, Ms. Neighbor! It's nice to meet you!" Her voice was small and bubbly, with a hint of mischievousness.

"So you're staying in Nana Corelle's house?!" she remarked. "Tell her I said Hi whenever you see her, please. I miss her."

Kayna was taken aback. "What...what do you mean when I see her?"

Briyana giggled. "I've heard Nana Corelle in her house humming songs she used to sing to us. I've even talked to her a few times. But I can't see her."

Kayna felt uncomfortable with this revelation. "How can you talk to her? Your Mom said she passed away some time ago..."

"Yes!" Briyana replied. "But, I think her ghost is still here; I know it is! How else would I be able to hear her?"

Kayna was not keen on hearing about a potential ghost roaming around her unit. She hoped Briyana just missed the old woman and made up the ghost story to cope with the loss. Either way, Kayna's face didn't hide her discomfort.

"Now, Briyana, why are you trying to scare Ms. Kayna?" Yasmine asked in a scolding tone. "I've told you about making up these stories. There is no ghost in this unit. Now, apologize for this mischief."

Briyana solemnly raised her small face up to Kayna. "I'm sorry, Ms. Kayna, I won't mention Nana Corelle's ghost to you again."

"Thank you, love. Now come here," Yasmine warmly sang as she pulled Briyana in for a big hug.

"I didn't mean to scare anyone, Momma, but I miss Nana Corelle so much."

"I know, baby. We all miss her, but it's not nice to tell fibs, especially ghost stories. Please be mindful of that, okay?"

"Ok."

Kayna was left staring down at the quiet Jacoby, still standing uncomfortably in front of her. He was such an awkward little guy. She couldn't help but notice how much he reminded her of how she was when she was his age. Cowering at the thought of meeting new people, the struggle of growing into herself as a preteen, and just figuring out who she was socially. It was an emotional rollercoaster, something she still struggles with.

"I see you're as introverted as I am, Jacoby."

Jacoby only looked on silently. Unable to find the next set of words to come out of his mouth.

"I won't force you to speak to me, but I see you, you see me. A wave is just as good as a conversation for me whenever we cross paths, ok?" Kayna politely smiled.

Jacoby sighed, his mouth still locked shut. He acknowledged what she said and appreciated it, but he wasn't sure what to say next.

"Momma, would we be able to come visit Ms. Kayna like how we did Nana Corelle?"

Yasmine chuckled. "Bri! Give her time to warm up to you first, lil' lady. She's not Nana Corelle's replacement."

"That was silly of me to ask huh, Momma?"

"It was indeed, but at least you asked. I would be very upset if Ms. Kayna called me to complain that you two had been stopping by her unit unannounced! Be mindful of boundaries, love, understand?"

"Yes, ma'am." Briyana smiled.

"It's true! I wouldn't be as open to unexpected visits," Kayna admitted, "but...since I am the acting landlord onsite...maybe we can do fun things together like…movie nights and small get-togethers. How does that sound?"

Yasmine gasped, "Oh, that sounds wonderful, Kayna! We haven't had anything like that since Nana Corelle's passing. It would be nice to bring this family back together."

The very thought of organizing social gatherings made Kayna shudder, but when she accepted the position of landlord, she accepted the responsibilities, which included taking care of the tenants to ensure they were living comfortably and happily.

"I'll jot down ideas! You are welcome to suggest activities. Let's make this a team effort to make this place a thriving little triplex community!"

"YEA! " Jacoby cheered with happiness, shocking everyone in the room.

Briyana tried to hold in her laughter at Jacoby's sudden outburst. It was a rarity but a delight to see.

"Well, you certainly got his attention, Kayna!" Yasmine teased.

"Yeah! Jacoby is usually super mopey about everything!" Briyana giggled. "He must like you, Ms. Kayna."

They all laughed in unison except for Jacoby, who simply cringed at himself.

Yasmine pulled out her phone and noticed the time: it was after 5 p.m. Time had really flown by; it felt like mere minutes had passed since she ran into Kayna and hung out with the kids in the lobby, but it was time to

"While it was fun hanging out with you, Kayna, it's close to dinner time, and I have nothing prepared. Have to make sure my babies get a good bath and meal before bed!"

"I understand. Don't let me keep you away from your duties, Momma." Kayna laughed. "Thanks for making me feel welcome."

"Oh, absolutely. We treat our neighbors like family here, so welcome aboard, dear." Yasmine smiled. "Come on you two, let's get you washed up and fed."

"Bye, Ms. Kayna!" Briyana chirped as she hopped out of her seat and followed closely behind her mother, walking through the lobby door. Jacoby still lingered around, returning to his usual sulky presence, a drastic change from his earlier burst of energy.

"Better get going, Jacoby! I don't want you getting in trouble," Kayna said with a chuckle. "Good night."

Jacoby watched Kayna walk into her unit and shut the door behind her, leaving him alone in the front lobby.

"I'm such a-! " Jacoby lamented as he felt his heart feel heavy from the embarrassment of his shyness.

"Why...why can't I just be...normal...?!" He lamented outloud.

<-Back Next->

[zumpietoo]

Okay, Again Debated....

Again am weeaaakkkk.....

Trollz iz pressed....(and illiterate)

From what I'M reading you didn't bother read 2/3rds of what I wrote. Soooo....nope. Also, can y'all explain why you're cool with PP scabbing and NOT supporting anything?

Cuz I've already fully detailed, multiple times.....not bothering to do so again.

(oh and, actually? Yes, it was posted about before he detailed it----also, who knew pointing out having ones free speech criminalized was a bad thing/self righteous? Gee, Silly/janASS, you really ARE a MAGAt, huh?)

Siiiighhhh.....that would be you. Also, I see you've failed to actually address or support your position, just lots of "you're so dumb" and finger pointing, then? Got it.

Ummm.....you mean two fully completed movies, PRIOR to filming Plaiderdale's final season and while Peepster was off doing nothing? And, by your express argument, isn't that precisely what she's doing now? Except for free and for something she claimed she'd never do again, but now is?

Oh, alsoooo?

Ooopsiesss!

Wow....I didn't know you could be "trash" and "privileged" simultaneously? Also....who knew having a bad parent made one trash by extension? How klasseee you are!

But it does piss you off knowing PP is, in fact, rust belt trash and her narrative has previously very much been that, huh? As is your cracker ass, deep white trash, Silly....

It's sad cuz it's painfully pathetic, desperate and living fully in the past? And, actually, I'd say they legit did just that....so, guess we watch a different show then? Got it.

Also, if you want to exist in delusion, just don't read what I post...and, again, dude, pathetic. Also, really "hope", you ARE aware it's a teevee show and it's done, right?

He didn't, you illiterate dullard, he called the love the fans have for ships that. I am truly sorry you're this fucking stupid.

OML.....if they really DO??? That's fucking hilarious and weirdly flattering....imagine devoting that much energy to a total stranger (you know, like you've done by sending me all this hate today), just for their attention, however negative it might be?

And here they keep saying how I don't matter, etc! It's as if I'm apparently godlike to them.....thank you for this, Silly/janASS, today really IS going fabulously!!!

Meanwhile, dude.....again, just no. I get this is a weird bedtime story that brings you comfort, but no, every day I'm reminded of how much better off Cole is without that loony harpie....

To your last part....

A) yes, Peepster does

B) sounds like you're verrryyyyy jelly Ari's with Cole now and not you PP. Which, OFC, remains why you're so pressed about everything....

And now I need a ciggie (and I don't even smoke). Thanks for the further ego boost, mah loooovveee

[un-love]

drunk voicemails – 1

tw: implications of death in joshua's

reblogs are appreciated :D

seungcheol: honey, i'm on my way back from work and i saw this new flower shop around the corner. something good will happen to you today. that's what the sign in the window said. naturally, i thought of you. you'rw the good in my life. SO i stopped to get you something and that's when i realized i don't know what your pick is. is it lilies? did you know there's something called blue orchids? they also had that. how do i not know your favourite flowers? if i had to pick flowers that remind me of you, i would pick sunflowers. they're yellow and warm and welcoming. everything that you are. i think that's what prompted me to buy y— shit. the bus is here. i'll see you tomorrow. tell me what your favourite flowers are

jeonghan: i wasn't expecting this to go to voicemail, what should i do? i'm a little drunk, baby. but i would've wanted to call even if i weren't. i want to ask you to come over, i want to run my hands through your hair, kiss the dimple beneath your eyes. are you sleeping okay? i'd give anything to see you fall asleep in my shirt again. haven't touched it since you threw it on my bedroom floor. your skin peeking out from in between the hem of my shirt and the blanket you refused to sleep without. do you still sleep with the air conditioner on? are you still listening? i'm sorry there's so much i didn't say.

joshua: do you remember promising to take me to your hometown? i couldn't sleep and ended up thinking about that. the bucketlist i made for us is still tucked away in my bottom drawer. i wanted to tuck us away too. t-u-c-k. protect you from everything, you see. now i catch myself thinking, 'was that too ambitious of me? would something have changed if i hadn't insisted on leaving game night early that friday?' all the moments of you i would've held. infinitely mine. i dream about it, sometimes. how you would've laughed showing me the love letters you received back in high school. if you would've taken me to your favourite waffle shop back home. i heard they're taking it down soon, i can't decide if i should go alone. maybe i will. i have to go now. this is my last message to you before they discontinue your cell service...yeah. i had to call. i love you.

jun: i knew you wouldn't pick up but hearing the beep hurt more than i thought. what do i do? i thought we were okay. that we finally made it through the mess. i almost saw a faint white light at the end of our tunnel. guess i was wrong, huh? i don't know if we'll ever forgive each other for what we've caused. never knew disasters could feel mind numbing and still look beautiful from afar. are you happy? i will never forgive myself for bending over backwards to let you walk over me again, and again, and again, and again, while you bled me dry. i keep replaying the night in my head, the final minutes before my whole world collapsed in on itself. i swear i felt time move backwards. but it's all the same to you, isn't it? i don't know why i called–

soonyoung: hey, it's .. uh, it's me. i saw that you called. i'm painfully aware of the probability of it being an accident, but here i am, hoping that it wasn't. want to be more than an accidental call to you. what does that make me? no, it's pathetic, i know. i just wanted to hear your voice anyway. maybe you'd have been surprised to see my caller id and said my name out loud, you know? did you delete my number? that would be a bummer. i was hoping to catch you brfore passing out, always liked how my name sounded on your tongue. anyway, this went straight to voicemail. it's alright. i'm alright—[beep]

wonwoo: are you okay? i never really knew with you. brought you flowers and left them at your doorstep when i know you needed me, but i couldn't give them to you myself. i should have come in. i should've held your heart in my hands and counted stars with you till we both fell asleep on the fading blue mattress in your balcony. did it rain that night? i remember wondering about the flowers, if you left them there or if they sat safely upon the table top, in that glass vase you bought at the local market. i think i left my heart at the doorstep next to those flowers–[beep]

woozi: hey, you. um, so..i finally got it down. 영원한 사랑이 있다면, 그건 당신이겠죠*. the post chorus was seeming too empty and now i've got it. took a bottle, or two, but hey, we're here. i don't know how i'll feel about this in the morning but i think i'm done with the songs now. i couldn't wait to show you ... hear what you think of them, that's why i'm calling. it's funny, thinking of the time when i hesitated to display even my finished works. haven't i come a long way? i know i always had help along the way but something's changed recently. they haven't listened to this one yet, and..i still have a feeling they will like it. i think it's you who did this to me. no wait, that sounds menacing. i've yet to come up with a title. i promise i will let you listen to this one before it comes out.

i wrote it to you.

*(if there's an eternal love, then you're that person)

[outerbankspov]

okok i needed to share this (sorry that its a lot lmao i got carried away 🤡)

just sitting here imagining how drew would comfort you if you’re angry.

i feel like he’d ask whats up first. if he doesn’t get an answer after asking a couple times, he automatically knows something’s wrong. he would just sit with you, patiently waiting for you to speak. he would also notice if you’ve shut down completely or just seeing red. if he can tell you’re too far gone, he’ll gingerly touch your hand or back & gently rub your skin with his thumb in an attempt to anchor & ground you. & if your exterior breaks or falters, he’ll ask if you’re ready to talk about it, bc he knows you’re not fine & doesn’t want to be asked. he would just sit with you until you were fully anchored & fully aware of his presence. then he’d take you to bed, get you all comfy, & see if you’re ready to talk. if you are, he listens to every word & hangs onto every syllable until you’re a crying, blubbering mess wrapped up in his arms. if you’re not ready, he places a soft kiss on your forehead, reminds you not to bottle it all up, & lets you cuddle him until the only sound is the your soft snoring.

Drew Starkey

AN/ this is honestly so cute and was literally so comforting to write ❤️ I love it.! It’s short but so cute!

- warning. pure fluff omg 🫶🏻

-

You’ll be sitting on the couch just staring at the tv play in total silence. Drew noticed how off you where, how quiet you was. You where not your usual self, the happy smiley and active girl. No you where the opposite.

“Baby? What’s wrong?” He asked his girlfriend. She said nothing, just sat there.

“Hey lovey you okay?” He asked again after a few minutes but still no answer. He had to realize after that she was not in the mood and was not okay at all. He’d take off his shoes and sits right beside her and wait patiently for her to Speak.. he didn’t care if it took an hour of just sitting there in silence and waiting for his girlfriend to be okay or even to speak. It often happened but drew mange to learn more as it went on. His girlfriend would become silent and sit down in the same spot for hours just thinking in her head. If she had to use the bathroom she would silently get up and go without a word to her boyfriend.

-

She got home from work one day on Drew’s day off and immediately started cleaning.. she does this often when she’s furious about something or completely sees red and all she does is clean. Drew picked that up pretty fast in the 6 years of dating. Finally you would sit down beside him and stay quiet. He would put his hands on hers and rubs his thump over the top, waiting for when she’s ready. After 20 minutes she would choke on a cry and she would finally look at her boyfriend.

“You ready to talk?” He’d usually ask her, knowing that she was far gone from being fine. She would crawl into his lap and straddle him and hug him really right. He’d then rub his hands up her back because he knows she loves that. He didn’t mine the silence. After 20 minutes he would take her to bed. He would take off your clothes even if you protested he still did it. He loved to undress you. he’d admires her body so much and always always tells her how beautiful she is while doing it. He’d grab a makeup wipe and take off all her makeup and brush out her hair and kisses her before making her comfortable in bed and tugging her in. He was so loved whipped it was almost “pathetic” his friends would say, but he doesn’t care he loved his girl with all his life and would do anything in his power to keep her safe and loved. Drew would get into bed and lay beside her and just admire her beauty. Finally she would tell him about her shitty day and how fucked up her boss was to her today and how bad she wanted to quit but realized she didn’t because she didn’t want to put to much work on Drew with being the only working person at home. He would listen so careful and listen to everything she was telling him. She would start crying over being so overwhelmed and he would hold her into his big arms and let her cry and wet his T shirt. She’d look at him and finally smile and he would kiss every where on her face and tell her how amazing she was and that her boss is an ass and doesn’t deserve you and that you have nothing to worry about if you decide to quit, and how not to bottle up all of her emotions because it’s a bad thing to do and that she should Always be free to speak on it. All between kisses on her face. He would wait until he hears her her faint soft snores and would finally fall asleep with her in his arms. They truly loved each other.

[waka-chan-out]

Okay so I heard you were looking for requests for short stuff so do you have any headcanons for getting just. Absolutely railed by Haikyuu team captains, please and thank you. (I really love your stuff and I hope you take this!)

Rough Captain Headcanons

sub captains edition here.

you heard correctly!! (though this did not end up being very short lmaoo) i am a whore for the haikyuu captains so you’ve come to the right place. and thank you so much! i’ll take any opportunity to talk about my boys.

i included literally every single captain i could think of, including the karasuno captains after daichi and our timeskip kings. have fun.

post-timeskip, obviously.

content warnings: mostly gn! reader (but occasional fem!), lots of pet names, lots of teasing and degradation, hair pulling, spanking, three (3) creampies god i hate that word, hickies, handcuffs, etc. all of these are established relationship.

so i don’t know how to describe what exactly these headcanons are? i don’t think all of the captains are the “railing” type. however, these are basically just headcanons for when they go their hardest and either accidentally or purposefully get carried away.

Sawamura Daichi

likes to cage you under him and just lose it. will loop an arm around your waist and lift you up into him, so your back arches and he can hit the perfect angle.

will. not. let you look away. grabs your chin. pulls your hair. will move you however he needs to so he can look you in the eyes while he’s pounding into you.

“Shy now, princess?” Daichi said, tipping your chin to look at him. “Don’t hide. You look so pretty like this.” A sharp breath left your lips as he pressed his hips farther forward, grinding into you and sending a shock of pleasure through your body. “That’s it, sweetheart. Taking it so well. Let me give you what you deserve.”

Ennoshita Chikara

he’s a hair puller. like he doesn’t think much about it but he really likes pulling you by your hair back against his chest so he can whisper dirty shit in your ear. sometimes he gets a little too aggressive with it, so if you’re into that kind of thing, he’s your man.

possessive as all hell. you’re going out for drinks with coworkers? he’s leaving a hickie right at the collar of your top so everyone can see that you’re taken. coming out to dinner with his old teammates? he’s going to have an arm on you all night. loves to pull you in and remind you of things you did the night before to get you flustered.

very particular about how you’re positioned. will pin your arms above your head and readjust his grip several times. pushes your legs out of the way. grabs your jaw and moves your face where he wants you. somehow he doesn’t realize how hot that is until you tell him to his face. he’s still confused about it but has learned to love that you love it.

Chikara ran a hand up your side and let it rest in your hair for a moment before tugging hard. You gasped as he pulled it back and to the side, exposing your neck so he could leave marks as he pushed deeper inside you. You let out a whimper and tried to loop an arm around his neck but he grabbed your wrist and pinned it down.

“Patience, love. I want everyone to be able to tell I fucked you senseless.”

Yamaguchi Tadashi

he tries to dirty talk, but it always turns into praise and repeating how much he loves you.

aggressive and whiny, begging for more even though he’s the one giving it to you.

prefers when you ride him, but will do anything you ask of him. loves being told what to do. thinks you directing him to go faster or slower or a little to the left is the sexiest thing on the planet. he will fuck the life out of you if you just ask nicely.

“Harder, Tadashi,” you gasped. He grunted and snapped his hips as fast and as hard as it seems his body would let him.

“God, you’re gonna make me come. How do you feel so fucking good?” You smiled at the praise and pulled him in for a kiss. His breath hissed against your face as he continued pushing into you. You wrapped your legs tight around him and he let out a whine, pressing his face against yours. “I’m so fucking glad you’re mine.”

Oikawa Tooru

he’s a biter

likes to be lazy and dirty talks while you ride him usually, but every so often he shifts and will fuck you until tears are running out of your eyes.

will lay on top of you while you’re on your stomach, an arm looped around your neck, and just fuck you into the bedsheets. he’s wrapped up in his own little world, choking on high pitched moans and gasping for breath. like i said, he’s a biter, so you end up with marks all over your neck and shoulders. he’s just a fucking baby. the sounds he makes are so whiny and breathy it sounds like he’s the one getting destroyed instead of you.

“Ngh, fuck,” Tooru gasped. His breath was hot in your ear as you panted into the mattress. “Feel so good around me. You’re just begging for my cum, aren’t you?” You wanted to laugh and tell him you weren’t the one begging, but you couldn’t. Your breath was being torn from your lungs with every thrust. Tooru sunk his teeth into your shoulder as he pounded into you harder, letting out a soft whimper against your skin. His voice raised in pitch until he was practically whining. “Hah—gonna come soon. You feel so good.” His voice trailed off as it reached a whimper and he buried his face back against your neck, body shaking in anticipation.

Kuroo Tetsuro

spanking spanking spanking

seriously, hits it from the back and is not nice about it.

kuroo likes pulling you closer by your hips or ankles, turning you over whenever he feels like it, whatever. he just likes being able to toss you around and position you so he hits you just right every time.

“What? Trying to get away? That’s not how you take it, is it?” Kuroo grabbed your hips and yanked you flush against him. You cried out and buried your face against the bed. “There we go.” He laid a slap on your ass and laughed at the small sound you let out. “I’m not done with you yet. You’re not going anywhere.”

Bokuto Koutarou

he fucks himself dumb. accidentally goes so hard he’s whining and can barely hear you if you ask him to speed up or slow down.

likes missionary because he likes being as close to you as humanly possible and it gives him the best leverage to just.....lose it. gasping against your face and babbling about how good you feel. going off of that, he has a very hard time pulling out. lord have mercy. use a condom or get on a reliable birth control because as much as he tries, he’s never going to have any self-control in the moment.

he forgets just how strong he is sometimes, which results in bruises and weak limbs and occasionally trouble walking. he always apologizes profusely and offers many kisses to make up for it even after you insist that you’re fine.

“Baby, please let me come inside you. Please. Oh my god,” Koutarou whined, tightening his grip on your thigh and snapping his hips harder.

“Yes, Kou. Please.” You brought him down into a kiss. You were both panting and Koutarou was moaning, practically vibrating against you as he got closer. He began moving erratically, pounding harder into you and making you cry out.

“M’sorry. Fuck. I’m gonna come.” His chest heaved as he thrust into you hard once, twice, and let out a long groan. You could feel him twitching inside you, hands clutching your skin so hard it was almost painful. He mumbled praise and curses and nonsense against your lips, slowing his movement until he collapsed on top of you. He pressed a sloppy kiss to your forehead and tucked his face into your neck. “Thank you. I love you. Oh my god.”

Futakuchi Kenji

likes holding your legs and moving them around to see what gets the biggest reaction from you. doesn’t care what position you’re in but loves when your legs are closed and lifted so you’re extra tight around him.

his goal is to see you as desperate as possible. he’ll do whatever it takes to get your eyes rolling back, your hands clutching at anything they can grab, mindless pleading, all of it. he just wants to watch you fall apart because of him, and i gotta say, he’s good at getting his way.

“Oh, that’s it. Look at you,” Kenji cooed. He gently wiped a tear from your face as he readjusted your legs with his other hand, holding them tightly to his chest. “Coming apart already. I’m just getting started. Are you going to be good for me?”

Daishou Suguru

finger sucking finger sucking finger sucking. loves watching you gag so he’ll shove two fingers deep into your mouth and strokes them over your tongue. he also just does it to shut you up whenever he feels like it.

likes edging and teasing a little too much. will hold off from fucking you until you’re genuinely angry at him, so wet that he can push in with no resistance. then he makes it up to you by fucking you until you’re sobbing or your eyes are rolling back in your head. you’ve never had an orgasm with him that didn’t feel like you might not live to see the end of it.

“You like that, don’t you?” Suguru said, thumbing over your bottom lip as his cock slid between your legs, not pushing in like you desperately wanted him to. “Like when I use you like this? Should I just come like this? I don’t even have to fuck you to get myself off.” You let out a pathetic noise in protest and he laughed. “Maybe another time. Today I’ll be nice and give you my cock.” He dragged between your legs again and stopped at your entrance, slowly sinking in and pulling a relieved sigh from your throat. “There we go. That’s my fuckin’ girl.” He slid two long fingers between your lips, pressing on the back of your tongue and nearly making you gag. “Now stay quiet while I use you.”

Terushima Yuuji

i.......i gotta mention the tongue piercing. i’m sorry. i know he gives the most enthusiastic, sloppiest head and FOR SURE owns a vibrating tongue ring. what a whore. i love him.

i feel like he’s messy. like he’s into spitting and really sloppy kissing and cum play and everything. will come in your mouth and tell you to hold it there while he fucks you stupid. sometimes kisses it out of your mouth. he’s a freak and i like it.

“Yuuji, fuck.” You could practically hear your body vibrating, past orgasms still lingering under your skin.

“Yeah? Tell me where you want me to come,” he said. You groaned as he abused the perfect angle inside of you and smirked down at your strained expression. “Not gonna talk to me?” You stayed silent as your head tipped back against your pillow. He chuckled and grabbed your face. “Open.” You blinked up at him and did as you were told, sticking out your tongue. He leaned forward and spat into your mouth. “I’m gonna come inside of you. Yeah? That what you want?” You nodded and swallowed, eyes pinched shut and voice frozen in your throat. He laughed and snapped his hips harder. “That’s right. Anything for you, princess.”

Ushijima Wakatoshi

so we’ve all agreed: horse cock ushijima, however, he usually uses those powers for good. very gentle, very eager to please, exactly what you’d want in a man.

he’s not a hard dom, but sometimes he gets so overwhelmed with how much he loves you that he forgets how strong he is. pounding into you with his whole heart and whispering in your ear how much he adores you between groans. very vocal. a little too rough. definitely feels very guilty when you’re sore the next day but if you kiss him and tell him you liked it....he may be willing to throw caution to the wind again sometime.

Wakatoshi didn’t speak much, but the room was far from silent. He made the prettiest sounds when he was lost in you, grunts turning to long moans, made even sweeter when they were hummed against your lips. The groan of the bed mixed with the strike of skin against skin, white noise behind your already muddled thoughts. Wakatoshi pushed your legs farther toward your chest and leaned down, laying his face right against your ear.

“You’re so beautiful.” His voice seemed to rumble through your entire body. “You’re so good to me, darling. I love you.”

Kita Shinsuke

very soft. y’all are never gonna catch me writing hard dom kita shinsuke. HOWEVER. he is so eager that sometimes it’s a little too much for either of you. like he doesn’t realize how aggressive he’s been until you’re both literally unable to catch your breath and have to just lay in silence for a while. will ask you very nicely if you’re okay and get you water and anything else you need, but he will have this little grin on his face the whole time because he’s so happy to be able to put you both in that state.

Kita’s face scrunched up into a tight wince as he came, as his hips slowing into hard, deep thrusts that made your vision go white. Your grip in his hair was so tight you were sure it hurt, but you couldn’t help it when he was scrambling your brain with every touch. He stopped moving and you realized just how hard both of you were breathing. It felt like you couldn’t fill your lungs, body so spent that it couldn’t even do what it needed to do to survive. His braced arms on either side of your head were shaking, and his eyes were still shut tight.

“Shin,” you said, as steadily as you could through your gasping breaths. He didn’t answer. “Shin, baby, you okay?”

He exhaled hard and smiled, then let himself fall on top of you.

“Perfect. I’m—you’re perfect. I love you.” You laughed and combed your fingers through his hair, then pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“I love you too.”

Meian Shūgo

what to say about this man......

i feel like my opinions about what he likes and doesn’t like are kind of hot takes, because most of the stuff i see with him is hard dom. but. i raise you: overly excited switch meian shūgo.

captain meian shūgo likes to be teased and edged within an inch of his sanity. he likes when you talk shit and order him around and he’s DEFINITELY into handcuffs. however, he always pays you back for it. even if he’s still cuffed up and a little pink in the face from embarrassment, he will absolutely use you. very loud. loves when you leave scratch marks. loves leaving hickies everywhere.

You were almost shocked by the high moan that left Shūgo’s throat as he finally sunk into you. His face screwed up in pleasure and concentration as he withdrew his hips and drove them back against you.

“Fuck, I’ve been waiting for this. You tease me all that time but you can’t wait for me to fuck you like this, can you?”

“That’s some tough talk for someone whose wrists are still bound,” you said through a smile. He let out a breathy laugh and braced his hands on your stomach, still connected by leather and a short chain.

“Doesn’t keep me away from you.” He raised an eyebrow and pushed deeper inside you. “I can still use your body when I’m all tied up.”

Hirugami Fukurō

pulling a headcanon from his brother’s list and saying he likes getting his hair pulled, which means he loooooves going down on you.

will leave your legs feeling like jelly because he makes you come at least three times, and each one is hard. like, you forget where you are and can’t breathe for a few minutes afterward.

will cock warm you until you’re begging him to please, please move. proceeds to fuck you slowly, but so hard and so deep you’re feeling him between your legs the entire next day.

“Done already? That’s no fun,” Fukuro teased. You were still shaking from the last time he had pushed you over and he wasn’t helping the situation, thumb still circling your clit after already abusing it with his tongue.

“Come on. You know how to take me.” He continued easing his cock into you, dragging out all of the breath remaining in your body.

“Please,” you whispered. He smiled and leaned closer.

“Please what, love? Do you want me to stop? Use your words.”

“No.”

“Then tell me what you want.”

“Want you to—“ You gasped. “—fuck me. Please.” Fukuro grinned and positioned himself so he had more leverage over you.

“Good girl.”

[mostlybarnes]

It’s My Party, You’re Not Invited (Part Two)

Summary: The morning after Bucky threw a party, you confront him but it doesn’t go according to plan.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Warnings: more angst, arguing, Bucky is an asshole, language, not proof read, mistakes are my own!

Words: 1,567

Author’s Notes: Wow. I absolutely can not believe the support on part one! I’m so happy you guys liked it, and of course I’m always happy to give people what they want and since so many of you asked for part two, here it is! Really hope you won’t be disappointed, please let me know what you think. And don’t worry, there WILL be a part three. This isn’t the end!!

As you had predicted, you got no sleep. Your night consisted of you tossing and turning and occasionally groaning loudly into your pillow.

Your pillow was your closest friend, it captured your falling tears, and provided you with comfort when you couldn’t rest. The morning sun was pouring through your parted drapes, a new day was beginning and you knew you definitely wouldn’t be getting any sleep now.

Lazily, you threw the blankets off of you and sat on the edge of your bed, your palms on either side of you, digging into the mattress. Bucky not inviting you to his party shouldn’t have bothered you, but for some reason, it did. It was the reason you got no sleep, and you were annoyed by how Nat and your friends treated you last night. They were laughing and you couldn’t help but feel like they were laughing at you, even if they weren’t. Today would be the day you would confront Bucky, no matter what. But first, you needed a hot shower to try and wash away the tension that was rolling off your shoulders.

The shower itself would have taken a good ten minutes on a good day, but you spent almost an hour on the shower floor with your knees tucked under your chin and fresh tears disappearing under the shower head. Pathetic, you told yourself. Crying over something that wasn’t even your fault. How dare he treat you this way and make you feel broken. Speak of the devil, through the sounds of your cries and the water cascading down around you, your thoughts snapped back to reality when you heard his laugh from the hallway again.

Enough was enough with his games, you needed to know why you didn’t get an invite, it was just a simple little question.

Standing up off the shower floor with shaky legs, you turned off the shower and stepped out to grab the towel off the rail and pat yourself dry. In your haste to get dressed, your clothes were mismatched and your sweater was turned inside out. You didn’t care about that though, you needed to speak with Bucky. You needed answers.

You left your room and followed the sounds of the chatter coming from the common room. Your feet quickly carried you there, stopping in the doorway and noticing the room was completely trashed from last night’s shenanigans.

Broken glass was scattered over the marble floors, there were literally hundreds of solo cups all over the tables, there was even a broken window.

What the hell happened here? You wondered, stepping into the room, being careful not to tread on glass.

“Watch your feet!” Bucky warned, holding his hands up to halt your footsteps. “There’s glass everywhere.”

“No shit.” You scoffed, folding your arms across your chest and rolling your eyes. You heard him click his tongue as he worked on sweeping up the glass. “I heard you had a party?”

“Uh yeah, just some close friends and stuff.” He shrugged, and ouch if that didn’t fucking hurt.

“Really? I didn’t know you were– were close friends with people from…. statistics?” Anger was rushing through your veins, his nonchalant attitude wasn’t making this any easier and neither was the lack of sleep. You wondered what had happened to the sweet guy you knew. The shy Bucky who couldn’t even make himself a sandwich because he was afraid of being mocked by the other avengers. Or the Bucky that loved to sip herbal tea at 3 in the morning. Where did that Bucky go? Who is this Bucky? It was like a switch flipped and he changed overnight.

“What is this about, Y/N? You walk in here with some kind of an attitude problem and I’m tired, it’s early and I’m not in the mood.” He snapped and that was it for you. If he was tired, you were something else.

You stepped into the room regardless of the broken glass still all over the floor, not caring if any shards cut your feet as you stand toe to toe with Bucky. You shove him, but not surprised when he doesn’t budge.

“Where was my invite? What did I do to you to make you forget about me? It shouldn’t even be a big deal but–”

“Then stop making it a big deal! Is that what this is really about huh? It was my party and I invited the people I wanted to be there!”

“Wha– but you invited everyone but me!” You cried, your voice breaking at the end.

“Then maybe that tells you something.” He offers no sympathy to your state of distress. At least not to your face, it’s when you turn your back and he hears you cry harder does his own heart break. He didn’t mean for this to happen and the Black Widow’s footsteps behind him is about to remind him of his mistakes.

“You’ve really messed this up Barnes. I’m not sure Y/N will ever forgive you.” Bucky turns to look at Nat. Guilt and anger written all over his face.

“You don’t think I know that?! I did it to protect Y/N!”

“Well, what are you gonna do about it?”

“I don’t know.”

////

The day away from the compound was exactly what you needed. The air was refreshing and cold, biting against your skin. It helped to clear your thoughts that were running in circles since you talked to Bucky. You still didn’t have a clear answer as to why he chose not to invite you, and that bothered you more than anything, but what he did say replayed in your mind. You suppose he had a point, it was his party and up to him who he chose to invite but it confused you because you thought you were on good terms with Bucky. Did you get it wrong? Where did it all go wrong?

Your fingers wrapped around the mug as you sat in the corner of the quiet coffee shop with a friend as they watched you watch the world go by.

“Okay, what’s going on?” They asked, blowing into the hot liquid before taking a quick sip.

A deep sigh fell from between your lips. Your body and mind felt exhausted, it was hard to concentrate.

“I don’t even know. I feel like I’m overreacting.” You shrugged, licking your lips and looking into your coffee as if seeking the answers to your unanswered questions.

“Overreacting? Did something happen on the mission you just got back from?”

“No, no. Something that happened after that. You know Bucky, right?”

“Bucky Barnes?” They asked with a raised eyebrow. You nodded and swallowed the lump in your throat. “What about him?”

“I just– I– would you be honest with me and tell me if I’m overreacting?” You bit your lip nervously and your friend nodded.

“Of course! Tell me everything.”

True to their word, your friend sat and listened to every single word without interruptions or sassy remarks. They didn’t stop to ask you questions, and they didn’t make you feel pathetic like you felt. Talking about it out loud made you feel stupid, maybe it was stupid to get angry over something so small. That maybe deep down Bucky had a good reason not to invite you. Maybe you just weren’t close to him after all.

“I’m so stupid, aren’t I?” You shrugged, the wooden table becoming more of an interest.

“You’re not stupid. He’s stupid but I think he likes you.” Your head snapped up and so did your eyebrows.

“You’re insane! Didn’t you hear what I just said?”

“Of course I did!” They defended with a smirk, “and here’s what we’re gonna try.”

///

Your friend’s idea was so stupid and this dress was far too tight for your liking. You felt like your your body was spilling out at the seams, a complete opposite to what you were used to wearing: comfortable clothing or pajamas.

Walking in heels was another problem for you. Any second now, you were sure you were gonna have to call Dr Cho because you had somehow broken your neck. However, after a few laps around your room, you felt confident enough to walk a few blocks in them. Grabbing a purse and a jacket from your closet, you staggered out of your room and into Bucky’s chest.

“Whoa there, you alright?” He asked, pushing you away from him. He eyed you up and down, making you feel naked under his gaze.

“Why wouldn’t I be? And what are you doing here? Outside my door?” You folded your arms across your chest, big mistake as it pushed your cleavage together and with the height difference, Bucky had a pretty good view. He was a gentleman though and kept (or tried) to keep his eyes glued to your face.

“I came to apologize. Where are you going dressed like that?”

“It’s a bit late for an apology. I got your message loud and clear from this morning.” You scoffed. “And I’m going out with my real friends, not that it’s any of your damn business.”

“A party?” He wondered, his jaw clenching at the thought of you dancing with other people that weren’t him.

“Yes, and you’re not invited.” You smirked, turning on your heels and walking towards the waiting elevator, ignoring his calls of your name.

Bucky watched as the metal doors closed, his hands tugged his hair so hard he was afraid he would rip it out. He’s fucked up, Natasha was right. There was no way of fixing this.

“Fuck!” He yelled, kicking a hole in the wall next to your door.

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[erodasfishtacos]

can you write something about cheating harry and yn acting like a proper couple in front of anna, like harry with his arm around her and kissing her head and stuff, and anna is just standing there fuming and maybe tries to get physical with yn

Love Your Broken Pieces

-

warnings: cheating; mentions of trauma and domestic abuse

if you enjoy please consider donating $3 to my ko fi.

(any donations over $15 get a guaranteed blurb written of their choosing!)

reblog, like, comment, & come chat!

-

YN really really didn’t want to go out.

She wasn’t going to tell Harry that because it was a celebratory dinner for him because he’d just won Entrperur of the yearand she wasn’t going to ruin it.

It’s not that she didn’t want to celebrate his achievement.

She was so so proud of him but her therapy session had got moved up a day because the therapist had to go out of town.

YN didn’t want to bother him so she had went herself without telling him.

It was trauma-focused therapy which meant it was intensive, draining, and overall triggering at time.

Today had sparked a new memory that she had suppressed and she was really struggling to get through the day without his support.

She shouldn’t need him for everything. It wasn’t fair to him.

So she’d sat on her bed for thirty minutes before she managed to pull on a nice dress before curling her hair - zoning out and accidentally burning herself lightly.

Harry had to pick up Anna, offered to pick up YN.

“Hey pup, y’want me t’pick you up on the way?” Harry had called while she was swiping on mascara.

“No, I’ll just Uber,” YN try to keep her tone light but couldn’t stomach sitting in the car with that disgusting woman right now.

“No, let me come get you,” He insists, always preferring to drive her around over some stranger.

“I really don’t want to be in the car with Anna, okay? Just drop it,” YN replies a bit too tersely.

There’s a pregnant pause.

“What’s wrong, puppy?” Harry knows her much to well.

She couldn’t help but bristle, “Nothing. I just have to get ready. Okay? I’ll see you there.”

YN shouldn’t have hung up like that but her hands were shaking and it was taking all of her might to pull herself together to go.

“It’s all your fuckin’ fault your mum hates me,” Her dad had spat at her, right in the kitchen after dinner.

“Fuck,” She mumbles to herself as she drops her lipstick and it rolls under the dresser.

—

She canceled two Ubers before she found a driver who didn’t seem intimidating.

It made her fashionably late, everyone already seated, and it doesn’t make it any better when Anna greets her.

“About time. Can’t even make it at a respectable time for your supposed best friend’s dinner.”

Anna and Gemma both make a grimacing face at the rude comment but Harry interrupts before they interject, “S’okay, Uber’s can be a pain in the arse.”

“Er, yeah. The Uber…” YN mumbles lowly, there was an empty seat across from Harry that had been saved for her.

She could feel Harry’s eyes following her, studying her as she kept her head down and looked on the verge of tears.

“You look too much like your goddamn mother.”

“What d’you want to drink?” Harry asks softly, tapping her foot under the table.

“God Harry, she’s not a child,” Anna rolls her eyes as she glances over her menu.

Harry glares over at her with a strict warning glance that she needs to change her attitude or there is gonna be an issue.

“Just water,” YN replies, swallowing hard.

He knows somethings wrong when she doesn’t bite back at her, instead looking down at the menu like it’s the most interesting thing ever.

Harry had already known by the phone call.

There were quite a few people at the dinner, constantly engaging him in conversation as YN kept to herself.

It’s after the appetizer’s arrive that he can’t stand her fake smiles and attempts to seem like she’s enjoying herself.

“Outside, now,” Harry says firmly, not a question but a statement.

“Harry, don’t,” Anna huffs, not liking the private attention her enemy is about to get.

“I don’t remember askin’ you,” He hisses under his breath before following YN’s retreating figure to the main entrance.

They end up in the small alleyway, “Tell me what’s going on.”

YN’s eyes are moody, putting back on a nonchalant expression that would work for anyone but him, “I’m fine, I don’t know why you’re making a big deal. Let’s go enjoy your dinner.”

Harry backs her up against the brick wall, hand over her shoulder, “We’re not goin’ anywhere until you tel me. M’not stupid.”

It triggers something because she starts sniffling, whispers, “You’re going to be mad at me.”

His hard facial features relax, pressing his forehead to hers, “Please pup, y’know I love you no matter what.”

“My therapist moved our session to today. I went and uh…” YN begins to full on cry, burying her face in her hands.

“C’mon, tell me,” He encourages softly.

“It triggered a repressed memory. I…I didn’t want to ruin tonight for you. I fuck up everything for you already,” She chokes out, letting him pry her hands away.

“Puppy,” He murmurs with a laugh of disbelief, “I fuckin’ wake up everyday because of you. You make my life worth livin’. I’m not happy unless y’are.”

“I just…didn’t want tonight to go like this,” YN sighs quietly, “One night without my trauma.”

“Hey, hey. We’re workin’ through it together, yeah? It takes time. Y’made the effort to come and that means more to me than anything else,” He says truthfully, tilting her chin up.

Harry melts a bit when she leans up to give him a lightening fast peck, “I am so proud of all your accomplishments.”

“Wouldn’t have done any of it without you, sweet girl,” He rubs a thumb under her eye to wipe off a streak of makeup.

They stand outside for a minute longer in a tight hug.

-

When they walk back into the restaurant, Harry quietly asks Gemma to switch YN seats which she graciously agrees without a fuss.

Anna is shooting daggers at YN while the change happens and Harry pushes in her seat for her.

The whole dinner consists of Anna fuming and hanging on every single movement between the two despite her hand on Harry’s thigh.

When he scoops up a bit of his mashed potatoes and feeds them to YN, laughs when she makes a face at the amount of chives mixed in.

It’s like he doesn’t even noticed the casual arm he occasionally throws around the back of YN’s seat as they chat.

“Harry,” YN scolds with a small smile when he steals a shrimp from her plate when she’s not looking.

Anna had shrimp too and he didn’t look once to do that to her.

“S’good, here, have a bite of m’steak. Know Y’don’t like it rare but s’good. I promise,” He encourages, cutting her a thick piece.

How the fuck did Harry know how YN liked her steak?

He didn’t even remember Anna’s favorite color.

“Y’gettin’ sleepy?” Harry whispers to YN towards the end of the meal, his lips are nearly brushing her ear and Anna pinches his thigh hard.

“Fuck,” Harry replies, flinching away from the pain as he turns to his girlfriend, “Wha’ did you do that for?”

“Can you pay at least a little bit of attention to me? I’m your girlfriend despite how much YN wants to pretend she is,” Anna says haughtily, loud enough for her to hear.

Harry is about to snap on her but instead YN speaks up first, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know jealously was on the menu. Eat up, Anna.”

Anna begins to sneer but Harry says, “Why don’t you go take a second in the bathroom? Then we can talk, okay?”

With a little stubbornness, she does - stomping away from the table without looking back at YN who had rolled her eyes.

“Y’on my menu tonight? A bath and cuddle sounds nice,” He offers to his love, thumbing her upper thigh.

“So nice,” YN agrees, “Can we use that sugar cookie bath bomb?”

“Of course, anythin’ you want, m’pup,” Harry hums sweetly, kissing the top of her head.

Anna is walking back when she sees it.

He’s cheating on me.

It flashes through her mind but she pushes it away because she reminds herself that YN is a pathetic little clingy girl who Harry wouldn’t ever like that way.

—

Later that night, Harry holds YN as she recount her memory.

Praises her for being so strong.

Kisses her because he loves her so much it hurts most days.

Assures her that he’ll love her even if she’s never ‘fixed’.

Promises that he’ll never let anyone hurt her again.

—

I’d love feedback 🥺

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