#this started out a little silly then quickly turned mopey oops

[gintrinsic-writing]

Twilight was a no-good filthy traitor. Legend hoped a bird shit on his head, or that he had to walk with wet socks, or that all of his hair burned off during the next monster fight. It would only serve him right.

“He looks like he’s plottin’ my demise,” Twilight muttered in an aside to Hyrule.

“Because I am,” Legend bit out, only keeping his voice down so the others didn’t wake. If there was any mercy to be found, it was that Twilight hadn’t told anyone else yet. Goddess knows that would only make things worse.

Hyrule took a slow, deep breath—bracing himself, or maybe out of patience. Legend didn’t know him well enough to say, yet. For a healer, he was surprisingly prickly at times. “We’re only concerned, Legend. Let us help you.”

“And I’m telling you, there’s nothing to help.”

“Twilight said he’s seen you wearing those rings every night.” Hyrule glanced at Legend’s fingers pointedly. “We recognize them. You once mentioned they’re for healing.”

“So what?” Legend snarked.

“So quit being a stubborn bastard and tell us where you’re hurt,” Twilight grumbled, voice just shy of too loud. “You wouldn’t wear ‘em without reason. You’ve said yourself you don’t like wastin’ magic.”

“They’re passive,” Legend sighed, then held up his hands when they both scoffed and opened their mouths to argue. “Why can’t you simply trust me to handle my own shit?”

“Because you’re not on your own now,” Hyrule argued. “We’re a team, and if you’re hurting when one of us can help—”

“Good Three, are you deaf?” Legend snapped in a whisper. “I already said you can’t!”

Hyrule’s ears flattened, and he lowered his gaze. Legend instantly felt like shit.

“Prove it, then,” Twilight said. “Let him do a quick scan, and if there’s truly nothing, we’ll apologize and leave you alone.”

Legend wanted to throw something. He half-considered shoving Twilight just to have an outlet for some of his frustration, but the farm boy was built like a brick shithouse. Probably wouldn’t do Legend the courtesy of budging. “You know what? Fine. Since you’re incapable of respecting my privacy, fine.”

They both looked chastised, but not enough to stop them from taking advantage of Legend’s reluctant acquiescence. Hyrule stepped forward—and wasn’t that its own sharp discomfort, allowing someone into his space without bristling—and placed glowing hands near Legend’s head and chest. For a moment, the only sound was the crackle of the camp fire. Then Hyrule made an unhappy sound in the back of his throat.

“Your right knee…”

As if on cue, an ache shot up through Legend’s leg. “Old ACL tear.”

“It didn’t heal well.”

“No.”

Seconds passed, Hyrule chewing on his lower lip. “What about your back?”

“Nerve damage after a fall.”

Twilight winced. “How high?”

Legend bitterly recalled the unforgiving rocky slopes of Tal Tal Heights. “High,” he answered curtly.

Hyrule shifted his hands. “Your hip—was it dislocated?”

“Mhm. Lynel clipped me.”

“It’s not… Your socket must’ve been damaged as well. It’s not a great fit.”

“I’m aware.”

“And your left ankle?” Hyrule asked quietly. “A fracture?”

“I didn’t have time to set it properly. Had to chug a potion and run.” He figured it went without saying that the alternative would’ve been much worse.

Hyrule frowned. “There’s some scarring in your lungs. Does it hurt to breathe?”

A small raft, a large storm. Choking on salt water as waves crashed overhead. Waking up on Koholint, convinced he must’ve drowned— “Not enough to matter.”

“I see…” Hyrule suddenly took Legend’s left hand in both of his. He was so, so gentle. It made Legend want to hide under a rock. “Can you feel anything in your palm?”

“Besides pins and needles?” Legend shrugged. “Hardly. Burn went too deep.”

Twilight shifted uncomfortably where he stood. “Hyrule, can you heal any of this?”

Hyrule hesitated, then took a step back, letting go of Legend’s hand. “I can try but…” He shook his head sadly. “There’s so much more. So many little traumas that healed wrong, or weren’t addressed in time. Some of your joints are relying on scar tissue for support to function. The arthritis alone, it—I can’t even imagine. Oh, Legend, I’m so sor—”

“I know,” Legend hissed, feeling his face burn with embarrassment. “I fucking know, but you both insisted, and—and there’s nothing to be done, is there? Nothing to do but deal with it, like I always have.” He scoffed, fidgeting with one of his rings. “Only now, you know how broken I am. Congratulations, I guess. I’m proof of what it means to be the goddesses’ favorite.”

Twilight reached out, probably intending to offer comfort, but Legend flinched away. He wasn’t sure why he’d said that last bit. He wished he could take it back. “Just… please,” he started, too tired and ashamed to keep up his anger. “Give me some privacy, and don’t tell the others. Can you at least do that for me?”

Twilight finally looked appropriately regretful. Too bad it didn’t make Legend feel any better. “Of course, Ledge,” he murmured. “And I’m—truly, I’m sorry for pryin’.”

“It’s fine,” Legend said, which wasn’t true, but it was better than “whatever” or “you should be.” He thinks they understood anyway.

[littlemisskookie]

The Story of Us

The Story of Us Ship: Hoseok | Reader Description: The story of your relationship with Jung Hoseok. Warning: Fluff, Angst, Slight Mentions of Fluff, Cracky Humor Word Count: 6,231

Day 1

I met a boy today.

Yesterday, to be more precise. Exactly 5 hours and 48 minutes from ago, from the moment that I'm writing down these words.

I've never really started a journal before- well, more accurately, I've never finished one. I've attempted and started various times, but I'd eventually lose interest or be too busy and never get back to it. Therefore, one of my many New Year Revolutions that no one actually intends to keep, was to start a diary again- and to finish.

Saying diary sounds so girly and feminine- makes me want to cringe. But what's wrong with feminine things? I like feminine things occasionally. Maybe the social justice warrior in me simply believes that this world's gotten to toxic on its synonymous meanings behind masculinity and strength.

I know it seems as though I'm rambling, but this exact topic is what brought me to the boy I've met.

His name is Jung Hoseok.

The name looks so pretty as I write it down. It's also so pretty, the way it rolls off my tongue. Sort of like those movie stars or singers with names that just sound like they were destined to be famous.

Believe it or not, Hoseok's face is even prettier than his name. I was half-wasted at someone's New Year's Eve party- I can't even remember who's it was already, can you believe that?- feeling mopey at the thought of having to down another shot instead of having a New Year's kiss like the fellow drunks around me. I just didn't want to randomly sexually assault some guy, grabbing him by the collar and smashing his face against mine out of self-pity. No, men deserve the same respect we should expect. Therefore I'm not going to shove my tongue down someone's throat like a sleazy frat douche.

So continuing along, I've got warm beer on the collar of my shirt due to my utter lack of coordination, and I turn and bump into a man. If he were across the room, I wouldn't have noticed him, probably because my vision's very hazy with this much booze, and he'd look similar to the pad of my thumb. Up close though... Writing can't do him justice.

But that smile. God, I think I melted. I don't believe in love at first sight, mind you- just infatuation and/or lust. I'll clarify, however, that my legs went to utter mush when I saw him. He seemed as radiant as the sun, warming the room despite it being a freezing winter day.

And I was the idiot who literally fell for him. See what I did there? Not figuratively of course- God, it's too soon for that. I'm not going to start naming our kids or some bullshit like that. (Astrid if it's a girl, Lucas if it's a boy.)

I'm sure he was just thinking, "Wow, look at this hot mess. I pity whoever's floor she's passing out on."

Or maybe that's just what he wanted to say.

Instead, like the true gentleman, I'm sure he was pretending to be, he rights me up and holds me firmly to make sure I don't make another klutzy accident. "Woah, are you alright? It seems like you've had too much to drink."

Let me tell you, his hands were so firm, with veins along the top, and his jawline was so sharp, and his cologne- oh dear God, he smelt nothing like the sixth grade boys who poured an entire bottle over their head in the locker room- he knew how to actually put on cologne! I wanted nothing more than to fall again and have another 'accident' by slipping right on his penis.

Of course, I didn't actually say that- he'd probably think I was psycho. Instead, I said, "Oops," and blushed profusely. "I suppose you're right."

As soon as he was sure I could stand on my own he looked deeply into my eyes and said- "Wow, your pupils are super dilated. I should get you some water to help you sober up."

Romantic right? Like the polite way of saying, "Holy crap, you look like a hot piling piece of shit right now! What a mess, I'm going to take pity on you so that you don't end up getting kidnapped while wandering through the streets." That would be a way to start off the year.

I simply nodded along dumbly as he told me to wait right where I was, and true enough, within a few seconds he's back with a bottle of water- unopened- and hands it to me. I thank him for it, and as I unscrew the cap- a very tight cap, mind you, that's how I know it's unopened. I'm terrible at opening unopened caps- someone bumps into me.

I should probably mention at this moment that I had decided to wear a white turtleneck to this New Year's Eve party. While I'd normally dress like a proud 50-year-old mom reliving her bimbo days as she's drunk at some retirement home party, where she works part-time, I instead chose to go the more practical route and dress warmly. Otherwise, my nipples would get so hard they'd burst from my shirt and say, "Hello, world!"

Of course, I'm sure you know that white clothing + water is never a good thing. Especially if you're wearing a black bra underneath said clothing. Therefore Hoseok quickly froze up, ushered me outside onto the balcony so we could be away from the crowd- and somehow, I'm too drunk to remember- got this big ass parka and draped it over me. Of course, being partially soaked and in the freezing cold in winter, isn't exactly the best case scenario. However, I didn't want to be that asshole who was like, "Thanks for the help, but you really made things worse." That, and I was looking to get wet somewhere else because of this guy if you catch my drift.

"Thank you," I say, bundling up. I know the parka is his because it smells like his cologne. I want to bury myself in it like the obsessive hermit I am.

Hoseok just smiles at me and shrugs, as if it's no big deal, which it totally isn't. "No problem, glad to help. You kind of seemed out of it."

"What's your name?"  I questioned, unaware that I was about to be more blessed than the Holy Trinity itself once he dropped it.

"Hoseok. Jung Hoseok. And you?"

"Y/N."

His cheeks were so rosy from the cold outside- and probably because I also took his fucking parka- but I'm going to fantasize it was because of me instead. "Y/N," he said. "I like it."

It's a brief moment, and silence hangs between us. You know when you meet someone for the first time, and you don't know what to talk about, because you don't know anything you have in common yet? It was like that. I was just itching to find something to say, but when you're buzzed, it's sort of hard to figure out the right words or questions. I'm usually much better at these sort of things- just ask the middle school friends I used to have- I was a fucking wiz at truth or dare.

We hear shouting from inside, and the moment is over. 10!...9!...8!...7!...6!...

Hoseok looks to me for a second, and I'm pretty sure he was actually blushing this time. I feel my heart begin to pound a bit faster at the thought that he's going to kiss me, and I feel gleeful! Like a school girl instead of someone who's going to work hungover tomorrow.

"Can I kiss you?"

Yes yes yes!

"Sure." I say it in a way that sounds as though I would've followed it with 'whatever'. I'm surprised I kept my chill, seeing that in my head I was bouncing on the balls of my feet.

5!...4!...3!...

He leans in, and I can smell the cologne much stronger now, as though he applied it just below his ears, where his jawline curved upward.

2!...

Was this it? Was I going to get a New Year's kiss? I should've asked if he had herpes first.

1!...

He gives me a peck on the cheek. it's warm, and it makes me feel warm despite the bitter air stinging my cheeks, but it's warm nonetheless. Honestly, I prefer the fact he kissed my cheek instead of kissing me on the lips. Sure, I was slightly disappointed at the time, but now that I write this before heading to work, with a mild migraine and a sober mind, I'll tell you why the cheek was better.

He knew I was drunk, and if he were to kiss me or do anything further, it would've been taking advantage of my state. Secondly, a kiss to the cheek is harmless. It's cute, it's innocent, it's... sweet. I feel somewhat guilty for wanting to jump his bones at that moment, but it was the sweetest thing! Adorable, truly.

The moment is ingrained in my head, but the minute the clock struck twelve, everything else seemed to speed up. Before I knew it, I was writing in way-too-big-handwriting along his forearm, in sharpie, my number. He called me an Uber, and then I wake up in bed with a pounding headache and a message in my phone of a 'Hey' and a smiley face, with a little ramble about how he met me at the party and who he was. As if I could forget! (Scratch that, I could totally forget, drunk me is stupid enough.)

I've got to get to work, but something about this guy makes me feel elated.

Day 7

Mr. Jung Hoseok and I just went on a date.

A. Date.

Let me clarify if you didn't get that right.

A.

Date.

Got it? Good.

We've been texting for a week and such, and he's so much sweeter and funnier through texts. He likes my sense of humor- despite how raunchy and weird I am, though it wasn't what he initially expected- and he's a lot more outgoing than I expected. He's louder than I thought- even through the phone when we called. My friends think I'm going fast since I called him, but I think it's silly. We haven't even kissed yet, who cares?

Oh, yes, the date! I should explain that.

So we decide to meet at this ice rink at the zoo. Every year they open one up right next to the ostriches- y'know, those big weird birds that vaguely resemble feet and look like they want to kill you? Those. Hoseok totally agreed on my sentiment about that- he said he was scared of ostriches when he was a kid. I said me too! (Total lie, I grabbed a pigeon once, not a good day for 6-year-old me.)

I wait for him in the middle of the ice rink, on my skates, and I see him slowly skating towards me. I look like the living embodiment of the marshmallow man- is that what he's called? That big giant statue thing with the donut that comes to life in Ghostbusters? Whatever, then the tire man they use for those tire commercials, you know the one. He looks like he could model for Abercrombie and Fitch. I was slightly scared that my drunken state had overglorified his in-person glory, but low and behold, he does not look remotely like a thumb! He looks like a fucking god!

And he asked me on a date!

So naturally, my first thought is, "Wow, what an idiot. Someone call Ursala because we've got a poor unfortunate soul over here."

My second thought is, "Wow, where did he get those earmuffs? I want some of those." (His grandma knitted them.)

My third thought was, "Holy shit, I'm falling!"

Sure enough, my butt landed so hard on the ice that I was sure it was going to crack, and all the little kids skating around us would be sunk into the depths of the ice rink. That or my ass would get frostbite. Instead, Hoseok laughed his ass off and reluctantly helped me up whilst wiping the tears off of his face so they wouldn't freeze like icicles.

Other than that blunder, which I can laugh about now, it went great. Our hands made us feel like we were both toddlers with thick fingers that resemble those cartoony ones, plump and fat with the mittens or gloves we wore, clasped around the other's as we skated along. Well, I was attempting to more or less- I'm not the best skater. He was mediocre, but every time he fell I made sure to jeer a good amount as payback before helping him. up. I enjoyed his company and he even laughed at my crude humor. Picture that, a decent guy actually liking me! I thought I was just a magnet for assholes, but here we are!

I went home with a smile on my face and possible frostbite on my ass, and a guarantee for a second date next weekend.

Day 29

Jung Hoseok finally kissed me.

I had kicked my roommate out so that I could watch a movie with him at my place. We were watching We're the Millers, an American classic in my opinion, with my humor down to the T. Hoseok laughed at it too, and it wasn't even the fake laugh you'd expect when you're forced to watch a movie you don't even enjoy. He snorted. Do you know how hard it is to fake a snort? A genuine snort? Like the one where you sound like a pig? God, he was an adorable pig.

It was the part where the kid made out with both his mother and sister I got to thinking- Hey, why hasn't Hoseok kissed me yet? We weren't official or anything, and there was no rush- hell, we were adults, not horny teenagers. But I figured it would've happened by now.

Maybe he could sense I was getting a little confused when I started breathing on my wrist to see if my breath smelled bad. (I had made sure to chew minty gum before the date, just in case.)

The entire night went by before anything happened, and I admit, I felt a little disappointed that he hadn't kissed me yet. I was walking him out of the building (because I didn't want him to be attacked by rapists or anything) and waving goodbye to him as he walked to his car when suddenly he froze in his tracks. My first thought was that he saw a rapist, but instead, he turns around and marches to me, a determined look in his eye, and he kisses me. He kisses me, and he kisses me, and he kisses me. His hands are on either side of my face as he pulls me in, and I didn't care at that moment that my nipples were probably poking through my shirt, or that my hands were so cold they were numb, I just kissed him right back, with my minty breath and everything.

Needless to say, I'm ecstatic to do it again.

Day 40

I'm officially Jung Hoseok's girlfriend.

We were both laying on the couch, my legs sprawled over his as we watch a movie he likes, a Japanese film named Let Me Eat Your Pancreas. (Stupid title, but I swear it's good.)

Suddenly the question pops up.

"Why haven't you asked about our relationship title?"

Strangely enough, it's not overthinking me who asks this question- it's him. Hoseok who simply goes with whatever I suggest despite my antics.

I simply shrug. "I guess we never got around to discussing it. I mean... I really like you. Do you like me?"

Hoseok laughs hard at that. "Are you kidding? I've liked you since I met you- heads over heels, in fact. I thought I was being obvious."

God, you should've seen the stupid grin plastered over my face. I looked like I had just committed a felony and gotten away with it. The same look my aunt would always wear at family reunions.

"Well, if we both like each other, why don't we date exclusively. Like boyfriend and girlfriend?" I question. "With me playing the part of the boyfriend, of course."

Hoseok snorts at that- that pig laugh again- of course.

"Then it's settled," I grinned.

"So you're officially asking me to be your boyfriend?"

"More like proclaiming, but whatever you want to call it," I shrug.

Hoseok laughs at that, shaking his head as he turns his attention back to the film. "Proclaiming," he murmurs.

Day 65

I can officially say that I've sat, sucked, and held Jung Hoseok's penis.

And by God, is it a blessing. I'm pretty sure his balls are even more symmetrical than most- and I've touched a lot of balls.

That sounded weird.

Alright, let me just get into what happened. We had been waiting a little while for it to come up- not that we had a schedule, but it wasn't the heated spontaneous moment they show in movies. We were in a heated makeout session, like usual, groping and grinding and all of that good stuff. I was grinding as though he were coffee beans.

Well, the gist of it was that he suddenly pulled back and raised his brows, giving me a questioning look. "Do you want to?" he asked quietly.

We had been dating a bit less than a month if you only count when we were official. But it didn't feel as though it were too soon in my opinion. So I simply kissed him again and asked what he was waiting for. Being the good roommate I was, I didn't let jizz get all over the couch, since it can be a bitch to clean up on that sort of material, and instead lead him to my bedroom.

Maybe I should keep it vague and pull a Donna by placing dot dot dot. But seeing how blatant I have been in this journal about my desire to jump his bones since I met him, I think I won't.

He gave good head. Good everything really. I think he liked the part where I slurped his dick like it was a melting popsicle in July the most. He didn't partake in pillow talk after the deed was done, though. The devil's tango, if you will. The horizontal hula dance- sorry, I'm getting off topic. He fell asleep. Maybe he nutted so hard it sent his consciousness to another dimension. So instead I smiled, kissed his nose, went to pee and snuggled beside him.

Day 117

Hoseok loves me.

I love him too, no doubt. We've been dating for months at this point.

The way it happened was kind of funny, really. I think our entire relationship is, in a sense. We were on the phone and he's away on some business trip. It was probably 3 AM or something, but I was up doing work and he's the type who doesn't feel like hanging up, willing to simply bathe in someone's presence, even if it's only through a screen. He's extroverted like that- he can't stand not having human interaction.

It was when I was yawning, finally wrapping up my work, and Hoseok, though two hours behind me, was getting tired, too. Both of us agreed to hang up, and as he was saying goodbye he accidentally blurted, "Good night, I love you." As soon as he realized what he had admitted, his eyes were the size of golf balls, and he kept murmuring, 'shit shit shit'. In his flustering movements and embarrassment, he dropped the phone, and whilst picking it back up he accidentally hung up.

I, meanwhile, was boisterously laughing the entire time. After the tears dried off my face I squealed to myself, smiling despite everything as I decided first thing when he came back I'd tell him that I felt the same. I had been wondering how to properly address it, but, then again, our relationship isn't exactly the smoothest.

God, I love that fucking dork.

Day 120

I told Hoseok I loved him.

I did it in a really cute way, being the very extra person I am. As I was picking him up from the airport, I decided to make a sign, the same way rich people make their butlers to hold up signs with their last names without anything better to do. On the sign, I put glitter and hearts and pink- trying to make it seem as corny as possible. It said 'Jung, I love you 2'. To top it all off, I had a heart-shaped balloon tied to my left wrist.

Hoseok laughed the moment he saw it, knowing it was just like me to go outrageously above and beyond with this gesture. He dropped his bags and came up to me, hoisting me in the air as though we were in some sort of romcom, and kissed me like it was the first time in years, and in between each kiss he mumbled, "I love you, I love you, I love you."

Some people were glaring at the PDA, and the fact I was spreading the glitter from the sign everywhere, but I didn't care. I just cared about the fact that he was back, and he was home, and he was in my arms.

Day 352

Hoseok and I live together now. It's finally been settled. The last box from my now ex-roommate's apartment has been removed, and my toothbrush now sits in the same little cup as Hoseok's does. We spend so much time at each other's places, it was bound to happen. We already act like an old married couple, so I simply asked, "Hey, what would you think if we moved in together?"

He was surprisingly all in for it. He helped me pack and move my things, and here we both are, unpacking my clothes and dividing the drawers so I can cram clothes I no longer wear and lacy underwear I've never worn in the wedges and cracks. Hoseok doesn't complain though- instead of calling me out saying, "You wear the same bra and sweatpants every day, why do you need all of these shorts with writings on the ass?" To which I'd reply, "Fuck off, it was the 2000's." No, he simply says, "You can get the drawers on the left, and I'll get the ones on the right."

I think we work well together so far- but lord knows that living with Hoseok will change things.

The guy puts the toilet paper under instead of over. I'm living with a sociopath- might as well be Jake Paul!

Day 405

Today is my one year anniversary with Hoseok.

My boss forced me to stay late at work, and because of the shitty cellular reception, I was unable to call Hoseok to explain the situation. One of the employees I was supposed to manage severely fucked up, therefore I was the one who was forced to clean up their mess. The boss kept their hawk eyes on me the entire time, as though they blamed me for what had happened, and was scared I'd screw up again. I didn't even have time to whip out my phone to tell Hoseok I was going to be late. It was a pity, too, seeing as he was so excited about whatever surprise he had prepared for me.

By the time I got home, it was far later than usual, and there was dripping wax from the candlelit setup, and the pancakes- my favorite- were cold. Hoseok had fallen asleep at the table, wearing a cute apron and still clutching his phone in his hand.

I felt so guilty for missing our anniversary. Once I woke him up, I apologized profusely, trying to explain the situation. He was groggy, barely understanding what I was saying. I could feel how neglected he felt so, how betrayed and sad. Even when I showed him the tickets to the game he wanted to see- damn good tickets, too- he seemed depressed and sulky. He won't talk to me now, instead giving me a kiss and saying he'd go to bed.

I feel terrible.

Day 456

Hoseok and I got into a fight today.

It was over nothing, really. I forgot what it was over in the first place, but it escalated pretty quickly.

Somehow the conversation deterred to how his parents disapprove of me and how I don't seem to truly love him some days- that I don't take our relationship seriously.

I was sobbing by the end of it, my voice hoarse as I asked him to name examples. I couldn't deny what he said though- but he made it seem as though I put work over him. Not just the anniversary blunder, but the canceling of plans and making him feel neglected or unloved. The best I could fire back with was how his mother always glared at me and made me feel uncomfortable when we went to visit her, and I felt like some whore she thought was taking advantage of her son.

We're both going to bed angry to cool off- but I think it's for the best. I still feel the adrenaline surging throughout me in anger at his words. I hope we can fix this by tomorrow.

Day 623

Apparently Hoseok is cheating on me.

Ridiculous, right? I don't even believe it myself.

A girl friend of mine called me over to come hang out- said it was urgent. I just thought that if she was getting engaged she might as well tell me over the phone.

I think anyone gets a sense of dread when someone says the words, "I have to tell you something," or "I need to talk to you." It just rises panic.

But I wasn't prepared for this.

She says she saw Hoseok with another girl yesterday.

That's ridiculous. I laughed and told her she probably saw someone else and left it at that. Still, curiosity and dread clawed at me. Hoseok and I have been getting in more arguments lately- but surely he wouldn't cheat, right?

I went to confront him- no, no, ask is more correct- about my friend's suspicions. But he was so tired, I just sent him to bed. No doubt he had a long day at work. Besides, I trust Hoseok. There's no way he'd do something like that. The boy who was too afraid to kiss me on the lips he gave me a peck on the cheek? A cheater? Ha! I even laugh as I write this, it's so preposterous.

I'm sure everything's fine.

I hope.

Day 645

I believe Hoseok is cheating on me.

I can't even say it out loud and I'm writing it down.

We've gotten into a lot of fights lately, sure. How I'm too insensitive and don't take anything seriously, to how he focuses too much on work and doesn't acknowledge the hard work I'm putting in. It starts with the small stuff, like what Netflix show to watch, and it slowly escalates. It's been like this for a few months, but goddammit, I love him. I've been with him for so long.

I don't know what to do.

He's been late from work a lot more than usual these past few weeks. I didn't care- more time for me to be away- but then I got suspicious.

Today I found a pair of underpants that aren't mine. This red, skimpy thong. I haven't touched any of my lingerie since I moved in, I never felt the need to impress him after we began letting go. Lord knows he has. So I know it's not mine- and I'll be damned if he's wearing sexier thongs than I am.

No, I don't feel in the mood to be funny. I can't. I can't crack a joke and pretend everything's some comedy skit on SNL. My boyfriend of over a year is sleeping with another woman and it fucking hurts.

I think I'm going to go to bed.

Day 679

"Leave him," they say. "He's a cheating bastard."

I can't deny that bit. I know it- he knows it- we're just still pretending like we're happy. Of course, it's difficult with his dick lodged in some other girl's pussy.

We got in a fight last night and I was brought to tears. He went on about how I couldn't be serious for five minutes since I never seemed to be able to take things into account. I wanted to point out that he wasn't taking our relationship seriously- I almost did, too. I almost blurted out those words, called him exactly what he was, but I couldn't. I can't confront him. I just choke on my own words, as though I'm scared to admit it to myself.

So instead I leave, slamming the door behind me and going out drinking with the girls, downing my thoughts away as they repeat the same old words about how all men are trash.

I'm in the bathroom sobbing by the toilet as I write this. I still love him. How could he do this to me? I can't change who I am. What he once loved about me he seems to despise. He's sleeping right now- went to bed without waiting for me after we had a fight like he used to.

Life fucking sucks.

Day 700

He's leaving.

I heard him on the phone. He calls her 'baby'. I can barely recall the last time he called me that. He says the word promise a lot. She seems angry. I'm writing this as I listen through the landline. The idiot didn't even use his cell phone. He says it'll be in about a week before he breaks things off with me. Why hasn't he done it before if he truly loves this girl? He clearly doesn't love me anymore. Why does he stay? Why do I stay?

She doesn't believe that he's leaving but he keeps saying, "I promise, baby, I promise." I want to shout through the line that he hasn't kept a single promise he's made me, but of course, I can't do that. What mistress would care, anyway?

I wonder at times what she looks like. Sometimes I see a smear of her lipstick on our bedspread or a hair on our couch, and I find myself piecing together an image. She's pretty- prettier than me. That's for sure. She has to be if he's leaving me for her. I don't think I want to know, though. It'll make me feel more insecure about myself.

Maybe it was for the best. Both he and I were too stubborn to leave a toxic relationship on its own- so add a third party into the mix to act as a catalyst. Great fucking idea.

He's hanging up now. He told her he loves her.

It took him 117 days to admit he loved me. I wonder how long it took him to fall for her. To fall out of love with me. I wonder how many days it'll take for me to fall out of love with him. It feels like it'll be forever. I still flip my pages to the beginning of this little book, the beginning of it all as I recorded my- no, our journey together.

I guess it's appropriate this is where it ends.

I hope you're proud of yourself.

Day 707

The smoke from the back of the car makes you grimace as you stand stiff and cross-armed by the taxi, Hoseok lugging his suitcases and stuff into the trunk. He would get a friend to stop by tomorrow to pick up the rest of his stuff- assuming you don't burn it by then.

You had caught him packing last night when you finally confronted him, an explosive fight breaking out between the two of you as you both burst into tears. You at the fact he was cheating and leaving you, and him because of what had become of the two of you, how bitter and hateful you had become to one another. And then you both became hollow, cold shells to each other as he packed the rest of his things, getting up bright and early that morning to go to her place, to live there.

Your hands are shaking as you put your hand on his shoulder, and he slowly turns to you.

"Please don't try to convince me to stay, Y/N." His voice is hard and cold, and it makes you feel like an unwanted stranger. Perhaps you were. You barely knew the man before you. He was nothing like the man you had first met on New Year's Eve.

"I won't," you say softly. "I just wanted to give you... a goodbye present."

Hoseok pauses at that and turns around to face you completely, a small book in your hands. "What's this?" he questions.

You suck in a deep breath. "I can't bear to look at it- but it'd be a shame to burn it. You'd have better use of it than me, I think. It's my recordings of... the story of us, I suppose. What it was."

Hoseok's silent for a moment, staring down at the book. "I'm sorry things had to end this way," he murmured quietly, and for a second you're afraid he's going to cry again. Lord knows Hoseok was always a sensitive person.

You find a lump forming in your own throat. "I know you are," you simply say.

Hoseok opens the book to the first page, and you see him sniffle, a tear rolling down his face. Despite all of your friends screaming in your head to spit in his face and scream your head off at him, you see a sliver of the Hoseok you once knew, and you can't bear to show resentment at this moment.

"Day 1," he speaks, his voice cracking. "I met a boy today."

"Yesterday, to be more precise. Exactly 5 hours and 48 minutes from ago, from the moment that I'm writing down these words," you reminisce, quoting it word for word. "You don't know how many times I looked back at that first page, to the memory of when I first met you."

"I wish we could've started over," he said, voice a whisper as his fingers brush over the strokes of your words. "When did things change?"

"Keep reading and find out," you joke, hot tears rolling down your cheeks in fat drops. You feel angry. Angry at yourself for letting the relationship come to this- angry at him for cheating on you- angry, angry, angry. You brush them quickly, stepping back before he could even attempt to reach out to you. "It's a good story, through and through. It'll make for a good read in the car- since you don't get car sick, and all that." God, you remember how jealous you were when you found out that little fact.

There's a pregnant pause between you two.

"I'm still so, so sorry," Hoseok whispered.

For a moment, once again, he reminds you of Day 1 Hoseok, with those soft eyes and sweet expressions.

"Well, being sorry doesn't exactly fix anything, does it?" you spit bitterly, the anger rising once again. Hoseok didn't deserve a bittersweet ending. "It doesn't unfuck a girl, it doesn't erase months of lies, and it doesn't fix our relationship- more accurately what was left of it."

Hoseok doesn't say anything, letting you vent as you continued to berate him.

"I know I fucked up by putting work over you, but that doesn't give you an excuse to cheat. You said it last night- you should've ended things earlier if you really wanted to be with her. You just dragged me along- and despite what you think, I truly loved- no, still love, you. Otherwise, I wouldn't hurt so much. Otherwise, I wouldn't have stayed, cried, and fought for you. The fact I can't even mark that stupid little book shows that and more- and if you truly still don't believe my feelings, that book will prove it to you. Hundreds of days of you and I written there because I thought- I don't even know what I thought anymore. You're not the Jung Hoseok I fell for, and I guess I'm not the Y/N you fell in love with."

"Anything else you want to say?" Hoseok breathed solemnly, not even putting up a fight to defend himself. It angered you more that he wasn't fighting back, like your usual duals. He simply took it and stood there, not caring anymore. He couldn't even fight anymore. People only fought for things they cared about- and clearly, he didn't care about you anymore.

Yes, you want to scream. You fucked up. Badly. You're the antagonist in this situation, not me. You're the bad guy. We could've had a fresh start and worked things out- but you're the one who fucking fucked things up like the fucker you are. This is your fault!

"Nothing you don't already know."

Hoseok was tight-lipped, mumbling a goodbye as he left in the taxi, letting the story come to a close.