#this was longer but i wanna do more research on the last ones so im saving them

[moontrinemars]

Quick Asteroid Synastry Notes

Recorded these for me and published them for you. Remember that with asteroids, you should only consider them to be significant if there are supporting planetary aspects. Disclaimer in bio.

Code: 4950,1585,1589,9305,24899,

🏠 House [4950] can indicate settling down, and the planets and objects dealing in desire and ambition aspecting it can signify how the two feel about moving in together.

🏠 I know someone with House conjunct her partner's Pluto and they're mutually obsessed with the idea of living together, but she is always coming up with reasons not to. Also, usually she's the one who goes to his house when they have sex lmao.

🏠 Her House, meanwhile, is trine his Jupiter and Venus, and sextile his Moon, and it seems like he, in contrast, is so charmed by the idea of living with her that her fears seem to him like excuses, which causes some tensions.

💍 Union [1585] often can signify marriage, or marriage prospects, but it may also signify teamwork, cooperation, or, in extreme cases, a feeling of being bound by fate. The asteroid person may feel as though the object or angle of B is an extension of themself.

💍 A's Union conjunct B's Ketu/South Node creates a spiritual bond. A will feel connected to B's very soul, and B will feel most comfortable when in A's company. The two are very in sync.

💍 Actually, pay special attention to Union conjunct Vesta. Vesta's symbolism most correlates to loyalty - though there's some debate whether it's born of trust, duty, or passion. My favorite words for it are devotion and dedication.

💍 It follows that this aspect makes for a very true and devout bond, when unafflicted. The Vesta person's principles and passions will inspire a feeling of solidarity in the Union native, and the Vesta person in turn will treat any partnership between the two with the utmost gravity.

💍 Union conjunct Medium Coeli will give both members the feeling that joining forces is a work of destiny. This is likely to signify a business relationship, or one more in the public eye.

💫 Fanatica [1589] can indicate obsession, excitement, and mania, both feeling and inspiring it. In synastry, aspects with it represent how you make each other act irrationally, and lose all reason.

💫 A's Fanatica conjunct B's Sun creates all-and-out obsession with each other. Lucrezia and Cesare had this aspect.

💫 You're likely to find some very strong Fanatica aspects between you and your favorite celebrities, artists, and performers, from either side, asteroid or object.

⚠️ Aspects to Hazard [9305] can indicate a real danger or drastic impact on the other. It is not necessarily extensively harmful, but it does tend to make others close to the object individual concerned.

⚠️ For example, a relationship where A's Hazard is conjunct B's Medium Coeli will cause those close to B to worry that A will cost B their professional or public future.

⚠️ A's Hazard opposite B's Moon implies that B is fully aware of the emotional danger that A puts them in, and may even resent it, but will continue to involve themselves regardless.

⚠️ A's Hazard opposite B's Vesta puts B in a situation where they have to choose between loyalties - perhaps between family and love, or between ambition and friendship, etc.

🏰 Dominiona [24899] signifies what you consider yours, and what you feel the need to be in control of. Thus if A's Dominiona tightly aspects any of B's objects or angles, it indicates A is possessive of and protective of that part of B.

🏰 It may not be entitlement for its own sake. With tight Dominiona conjunctions, the asteroid native feels a responsibility to help B and contribute to their growth in the area ruled by the object. As a result, any threat to them, or claim staked on them, feels like a personal attack to A.

🏰 For example, if A's Dominiona is conjunct B's Medium Coeli, they eagerly take them under their wing in the professional world, or the public world. This is an aspect correlated to a relationship similar to employer and employee, or manager and star. If this isn't the case, A feels compelled to promote B regardless.

🏰 It follows that they would be protective of B's reputation, but they may also be jealous if B gets attention from another source. In this case, A would be viscerally affected by any slander or praise B receives, possibly even causing a scene.

🏰 The Medium Coeli also correlates to expectations. Thus, A feels entitled to dictate what expectations B is held to - though whether they are lax, or strict, impossible or far too easy depends on the sign and other aspects - but A may be very uncomfortable or even offended when others expect something different of B.

🏰 The other side of this is that Dominiona is opposite the Imum Coeli - which means that the private self and the past of person B forever feel distant to person A, and the existence of B's personal life at all may feel like either a threat or tantalizingly out of reach.

🏰 Another example would be B's Moon conjunct A's Dominiona. In this case, A may feel as though B's interior world belongs to them, likely because A tries to help B deal with their emotions, past, and home life.

🏰 B in turn is emotionally affected by A's exertion of control. On the one hand, it's comforting to have their help managing their mind and heart, but on the other hand, it can be stifling as hell.

🏰 Or look at Queen Elizabeth I and Robert Dudley, for how other aspects with this asteroid can manifest. Elizabeth's Dominiona was square his Moon-Neptune conjunction. She was reportedly very threatened by the idea of him remarrying, and was very jealous of any woman who garnered his affection.

🏰 Her Dominiona was also conjunct his Antivertex. The Antivertex is the inverse of the Vertex, thus it represents the karmic effects of our standalone existence, and Robert's character drastically impacted the way Elizabeth's reign unfolded.

Thanks for reading, hope it was helpful ♡

[grimreaperschild]

this is my first fic ever and it’s kinda short but any advice + if you wanna see more let me know

warnings: some wednesday level threat maybe ooc wednesday not sure but stalker/infactuated wednesday

not proof read bc im dyslexic and it hurts my brain but i hope you enjoy ❤️

Wednesday trudged into the quad at the start of the semester, she would never admit it but with the new year looming over her she’s slightly exited for what new things she can uncover, there’s chatter of a new student and she hasn’t given it a second thought, even though nevermores resident artist xavier had gifted her a phone she still refused to succumb to such trivial things as gossip, that was of course until she saw you, walking into the quad with slumped shoulders and a shy smile next to the new principle, her eyes lingered on you for far longer than she seemed acceptable cursing herself when you met her eyes confusion evident in your expression though behind it she could see some form of hope, pulling her eyes away from you she tuned into the conversation enid and yoko were having about you vaguely annoyed that her interest was peaked.

y/n pov:

the car ride with my dad to nevermore was silent, as was the goodbye the principle greats me kindly enough and i think maybe this was a mistake, this was supposed to be an adventure but i was proven wrong as we stepped into the quad, the amount of eyes on me making me slightly nervous, zoning out to avoid the lecture on the old space i feel the hair on the back of my neck stand on end

snapping my head up i meet the eyes of a girl dressed in black with pigtails, the curiosity of why she has a different uniform out ways the thoughts of how captivating she is, turning and cutting off mr harrow i jester with my head “who’s that, the goth girl” he tilts his head with obvious disdain “y/n it’s not a good idea to get involved with the wrong crowd, that’s wednesday addams and by the looks of it you’ve caught her attention, i feel my condolences are in offer, let’s continue the tour” i nod once taking in the new information stealing one last glance she seems occupied with her group of friends fighting down the disappointment that flashes through me i turn on my heel and follow along the rest of my tour black uniform painted in my mind.

moving in was easy enough and within a few hours my room is looking more mine, being tired i decide to nap knowing i have a long day tomorrow.

wednesdays pov:

i let my feet carry me, overcome with the strange need to know where the new student that i now know is called y/n is dorming, to my utter dismay her dorm is only a few doors down, this is all panning out to be too easy convincing herself that’s the only reason she has interest in you, it’s easy and something to do, heading back to her dorm to fill thing in and have him keep tabs on you came more naturally than expected.

over the next couple of days she manages to secure seats that have a clear view of you in classes, if you notice her impassive stare you don’t let on, she learns that you can control fire from thing, her own research brings up noting but happy pictures of you and your family from years ago on social media, she stands in the shower for half an hour contemplating why instagram doesn’t seem that bad anymore, research online is so much easier than trialing behind you, as fascinated as she is with you, your not that important not yet anyway.

y/n pov:

the past few weeks settling in have been good, i’ve made friends with enid and her boyfriend ajax, the group is a little quirky but it works all the same, joining them for lunch in the quad has become a regular occurrence, so has my seat next to wednesday i’ve embarrassingly tried a few times to engage in conversation with her only to be meet with a steely glance or a roll of her eyes.

enid let’s out a groan as her head hits the table “we’ve only been here for a few weeks and im already struggling with classes, how is that even possible” i let out a low chuckle “comon it’s not that bad plus im sure nes here can help you, right” as i turn to her she’s already glaring at me the use of nickname obviously peaking her intrest “call me that again and i’ll cut your tongue out” turning back to the book she was reading, i give enid a thumbs up “nes is definitely down to tutor you” the sudden movement of wednesday getting up and stomping away makes me jump slightly ignoring the way disappointment rolls off me in waves. “we are going to the lake you should come with” i already know she’s giving me the puppy eyes and i sigh as i look up and my suspicions are confirmed “let me go to my dorm and grab my swim stuff” enid squeals as she jumps clapping in excitement

wednesdays pov:

i watch as she stands in the mirror nose scrunched as she tries on another bikini, eventually picking a dark red set, my eyes scan over her body gulping it in, as she closes her dorm room behind her i turn back to the bathroom im in taking note of what different shampoo she has, finally giving into the mental struggle i turn on my heel determined to get atleast one more glimpse of the colour red

[itsybitsypeterparker]

hi guys. little update to stuff. ill try to condense it all into one big paragraph but warning that below im talking about personal medical stuff ! if you dont wanna read it i totally get it you can keep scrolling and hopefully this little hiatus wont last longer than this week! im still available through discord. username is bunnie_rabbot ! but lets get this going

ive had a (planned) IUD placement today that hopefully will help with my painful and incredibly heavy periods that make my iron levels plummet and have had me having iron infusions monthly for the last few months. if this didnt work we thought that for the rest of my life at least i guess before meonpause i'd need iron tranfusions because i just loose too much blood. luckily we made this appointment and i was super nervous but we went, they gave me some meds to calm me down, and they inserted it. not gonna lie. it was super painful and the last few hours have been painful too. i did some basic research and it seems like some people who get this are fine within 24 hours and others just get reouccring cramps for the following week since insertion.

so im super tired, super in pain, got no sleep the night before, and i still have two othr doctors appointments this week as well as having to do some uni coursework somewhere inbetween it all. thats why ive been pretty silent. im hoping by next week things will lighten up and i can do some writing to ease my brain a little. but until then, unfortunately, i do not think ill be around the rest of the week. i adore you all and am excited to write pete again when i can , just need a little more time!

[lilyliveredlittlerichboy]

6

A different skull: The 8th. Doesn't have to do with the Eighth house necessarily. Ianthe is the "Eigth" to be taken into the Emperor's service as Lyctor, right?

Could mean more Ianthe. Or could mean some actual people from the 8th house. I forgot what the 8th in GtN were called - the nephew and uncle pair. They both died, though.

This is a second person chapter, so post-them dying, presumably.

you were seated in some kind of chair being wheeled down an Erebos corridor, and that someone had pinched a high cervical nerve right into your spinal cord—not deforming the bone at all, but manipulating the flesh only—in such a way that you were locked out of your body from the neck down.

you fucking WHAT??????

They can do that??????

Hey, Tamsyn Muir, that's terrifying.

(Anatomy brain in me is going: Oh she can breathe, so C5 at the earliest, MAYBE C4. She should still have SOME movement in the neck, as Trapezius and Sternocleidomastoid are innervated by a cranial nerve- I'll suspend my disbelief for a second and believe that it would not be enough to fully raise her head.)

(Direct anatomy questions to me, please. I love anatomy. I have a full degree in it. I don't get to nerd out about anatomy nearly as often as I would like to. It's a special interest <3)

a thick, fatty webbing joined the hilt to your forearm, a webbing that you had no memory of creating but was nonetheless your lacework. Perhaps you had woken up at an earlier point to stash the letters down your shift and fix the blade to your arm; you did not recall, but that was not unusual. Sometimes your conscious days were dreamlike ordinances of movement, functions, sounds.

Another insight into her mind: she often has memory lapses like this. I mean, we kinda knew that from the letters, though that may have been exceptional circumstances. Apparently, it wasn't.

You concentrated hard on whatever had been done to the back of your neck—visualized your known friend, the odontoid peg that protruded from your other known friend, the cervical vertebra—the bracelets that surrounded the vertebral arteries, the tangle of physeal joints. If it had simply been bonework, you would have been able to identify the mischief immediately, and unfuck accordingly.

This is why you need to learn flesh magic, Harrow. (Do different types of flesh magic differentiate between muscle, nerve, organ, vasculature magic? I kinda really wanna be a necromancer rn.)

Though, interestingly, the odontoid process is only found on C2, and that's decidedly too high for someone to fuck with her spinal nerves and her still being able to breathe. To me, this looks like Tamsyn Muir has definitely done her research - maybe even has a background in medicine/adjacent science; but can still get things wrong.

DAMNIT! Why did I have to get the Anatomy Chapter full of possible anatomical analysis to be had, when i was actually kinda getting ready to go to bed soon? Lol.

Okay well looks like voices are happening, so probably less focus on the anatomy for now. Let's hear some plot shit.

... okay, no, I can't get over the anatomy details. She should still be able to speak. Is she? (If not, I'm going to find Tamsyn Muir and subject her to a lengthy lecture on cranial nerves.)

(If any of you reading this are interested in a lecture on cranial nerves, well. It would go far beyond the scope of this liveblog. I'm only digging into this so much because I'm SUCH an anatomy nerd. I can expand on it if you ask nicely. hah)

Am I no longer Lyctor of the Great Resurrection, the second saint to serve the King Undying? Have I lost my rank among the Four—or, now, as I so horribly find, the Three? Am I not the last sister serving in a charnel house of dead sisters,

Ohhhh one of the old Lyctors. I've been dying to meet them, aside from Cytherea. I'm not sure who the other person is, (the other "voice" rather.)

Oh, just some guy. Now they're on the floor. The Lyctor - according to the Dramatis Personae, this is Mercymorn, most likely - has some impressive skills. I want to see more of her.

You were busy flexing the ragged end of your dorsal root—you had assumed it must have been severed, which would have been the simplest thing to do, but you realised all at once that it had been tied into a knot. It had been bowed out, twisted, and looped.

Lucky she's a Lyctor, with a Lyctor - otherwise, this sort of damage might not be easy to repair.

... Yeah okay I've focused a lot more on the anatomy than anything else. The chapter's barely gotten started. They just made it to an elevator.

Gonna leave it here for now though. I'm very tired.

[brucespringsteen]

Hi, do you have any beginner tips for lifting/getting into the gym? I no longer want to be a scrawny waifish butch and instead wanna be able to pick up my gf and look like mid 80s Bruce… If you’re comfortable talking about it I’d love to hear if you have any tips… I’ve been researching and have learned that diet is a huge part in building muscle but as far as the gym goes I’m lost… I’m honestly mostly just nervous because I have no clue where to start and don’t want some dude to help me (nothing wrong honest help I’m just shy and get embarrassed)… Thank you!!!

hi king 🤝🏻

im so happy 2 talk about this cos im in my musclebound era again

disclaimer what i know is a mix of what i learned from my dad and reddit threads LOL and my own trial and error. weightlifting really is the gayass journey of all time 💪🏼😋

first gonna keep it real with u ive lost a lot of muscle mass from stupid life events n being sad lol but im actually getting back into a routine for the first time in over a year. so i haven't properly lifted anything heavier than the 15lbs dumbells i got at home 😂 when i was once able to press more than my weight ✊🏼😔 BUT form is so much more important than lifting heavy. u will get better results lifting at a weight that you can control and build up lifting heavier over time 👍🏼 which i can go more in depth about how to do that. good form is so sexy and makes u feel and look so badass

u might find more eloquent lifters out there who talk about the mind and muscle connection and visualization. it's really cool stuff that connects practicing mindfulness as u workout which is what makes weightlifting so meditative to me. this will also help u maintain good form and i think nourishes a healthy mindset toward working out/yourself in general

n you are definitely right about diet playing a huge part. don't worry about bulking/cutting when ur first starting out, most important thing is making sure you're getting enough protein. if u are iron deficient i would look into taking a supplement! dont know all the science but iron keeps ur oxygen flowing better, so your stamina can be down if ur iron count is low. my mindset about diet is the simpler the better and u should never be miserable lol. i will never give up beer & pizza & a good time 🫡

second most important thing is sleep. make sure u get enough.

1. back/shoulders and biceps

going to the gym can be a little scary, but that's where having a routine helps so much 🧑‍💻doing one of those dynamic workout routines u find on an instagram reel every now and then can be fun and i recommend it. BUT doing a random workout Everytime u workout will make it difficult to see results. doing the same workouts is how u can see ur progression better and focus on good form. im talking about learning the basics of benching, squatting, and deadlifting. 😜✌🏼

if u can, i would aim a routine of 3-4 times a week. I kept it like this:

2. leg day and abs

3. chest and triceps

what helped in staying consistent w going to the gym was having a set time where i would go. ritualistic

4th extra day: fun cardio like interval training or boxing. OR if i was feeling like i just needed a chill day a slow incline walk on treadmill/outside😊 then do some really intense stretching/foam rolling

here is an example of a chest/tris day

The 3 "T's" stand for tiers starting with the most difficult exercises, so I could use most of the energy I have on it.

To elaborate further on how to see progress: say this week you're able to bench press 60lbs. Next week you try 70lbs on your last rep and it's kinda hard. The third week, you bench 60lbs again, and it feels a little easier now. The fourth week, you're benching 70lbs on your last two sets. By the fifth week, you find you're able to do your entire workout with 70! Etc repeat etc

when i first started i kept one of those tiny composition books w different workouts and id also keep track of how much i was lifting when i reached a new pr/mile time/etc. u can also just keep this in ur notes app. but i found having the paper in front of me was more efficient than continuously looking at my phone and fighting the urge to check apps in between sets lol. also if i was getting texts id have No Idea which just helped me reinforce the gym was Me Time

before u buy into a gym membership tho, take advantage if they have a free trial. u can find what time is least busy/if the vibe fits for u.

another tip. put a photo 1985 bruce on ur wall trust me this will help.

I can go more indepth about specific workouts or if u got other questions, lmk!

U got this!

[katronautt]

KAT'S 2022 YEAR REVIEW & THANK YOU NOTE

well hello there everyone. i'm not sure if this is still a thing this year because i haven't seen anyone doing this (or i just wasn't tagged in one at all sdjfkfkf) but that won't stop me from writing another year review and saying thank you to my wonderful internet friends!

at the end of last year i finally moved out of my parents house so i've been officially living alone for a whole year now and i'm proud to announce that i still live haha its not easy sometimes and it's hella expensive but i enjoy it nonetheless. i continued decorating and furnishing my apartment and it slowly but surely became my comfy little corner on this earth and im very proud of it :3

i know i said last year sucked and i was hoping for a better one in 2022 but boy oh boy was i wrong lmao

this year was shite. like utter shite. i didn't get a job that i enjoy doing or pays well BUT at least i still have a job lol the job sucks and sometimes i wanna jump out from the 3rd floor window but i managed to make wonderful friends among my colleagues so i'm definitely thankful for that. i only work there for 7 months but i already feel like we've known each for years and they definitely make working there bareable.

this year i also finally get to meet my bff (braincell for life), Ariana (@queenofthefaceless) in person and i am very much grateful for that. i'm sad no more meeting could happen in the rest of the year but maybe in the next one 😉❤

towards the end of the year i started working out again because i gained a little bit of weight and altough i became much more confident this year, it started to bother me so i'm proud of myself for not letting it slide and now i'm mostly focusing on getting my strength back i used to have instead of being the couch potato i was all year lol and one of my new years revolution for 2023 is to eat healthier and work out even more.

and yes i am still not over the fact that you guys putting out those wonderful fics for us for free. you still rock !! 💜💜

next year i will continue to hope for a better job, one that i enjoy and pays better (or at least one of these lol) and to be even more confident and open to new things ( and finding a rich husband 🙏)

ALRIGHTY NOW ONTO THE THANK YOU NOTES:

⭐@queenofthefaceless i still love you bro sm. you rock & i can't wait for another year with you (and your amazing fics)💜

⭐my dearest cee @fuckyeahdindjarin. you started writing for the pedro fandom earlier this year and you decided to start it all with a bang haha. i was hooked on consent after the 2nd chapter and was never let go. your writing is brilliant, my favorite thing is how you can amazingly combine comedy, angst and smut in one chapter in such a kickass way i found myself rereading sentences and conversations just so a chapter would last longer. i loved that series and i cant wat to see what you will bringing into 2023! 💜

⭐ i am so honored to call you my friend kc @avennger. and i'm now so glad that i had the courage of sliding into your dm's and start incoheretnly screaming at you (YOU KNOW AFTER WHICH CHAPTER).. because that started our conversation and i love love love chatting with you and bonding over our disaster saurondriel couple haha. you are one of the most talented writer i've met and you have such great potential i'm honestly in awe. the research and work you put ito your works is absolutely mind-blowing and i hope i'll get to read many many amazing works from you in the future! ily 💜

⭐ @foli-vora foli, you continue to amaze me with your amazing fics and your wonderful and friendly personality. please never change and here's to another year filled with insane horniness towards middle aged man 🥂💜

⭐ i think we can all agree that cristina @pedropascalsx is the nicest and most supportive person on this hellsite right? you always surprise me with the insane amount of goodness you have for the people you care about and you showed nothing but supportiveness and kindness towards me too and for that i am so so grateful. you are a wonderful and talented person and i hope you'll have just as wonderful year in 2023 🥰

⭐ @sirtadcooper ruth, even tho you spent a good amount of 2022 taking a break from tumblr (which i completely understand, believe me) like i said before, i was so happy seeing you back on my dash, you were always so supportive and i hope you won't stop making those amazing edits of yours 😘

⭐@mandosmistress mari, you wonderful, wonderful friend.. i was honored to be your best reader of 2022 very early in the year and here i am hoping to achieve the best reader of 2023 next year just as quckily while we continue our horny brainstorming in the dms because i love doing that with you 🤭💜

⭐@ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa i love and miss our late night (& horny) conversations so much. you are such an amazing and nice person katryn and i hope we get to chat again in the new year! ily 💜

and here's tagging the rest of y'all who i owe my life to because once again your amazing fics give me absolute joy and i know i will never be able to pay it back to you beside the support i'm always trying to give back in reblogs and reviews and promotions and such. here's to you all!! 🥂❤ (i am forever sorry if i missed someone):

@absurdthirst, @the-darklings, @softpedropascal, @write-and-buried, @oonajaeadira, @honestly-shite, @outercrasis, @qveenbvtch, @javier-pena, @toomanystoriessolittletime, @storiesofthefandomlovers, @lellowberry, @frannyzooey, @charnelhouse, @krissology, @juletheghoul, @dincrypt, @f0rever15elf, @the-ginger-hedge-witch, @astroboots, @brandyllyn, @littlemisspascal, @radiowallet, @just-here-for-the-moment, @letterfromvienna, @amywritesthings, @the-scandalorian, @whataperfectwasteoftime, @orcas86, @saintmurd0ck, @demonscantgothere

HERE'S TO 2023!!! 🥂💜

[seelestia]

YEEE NPNP!! college was nervewracking ngl (still is), at least when i started last year august iirc? but yeah! do you know what major you want? alas i cannot chill as much as i used to smh

heheh fr tho >:3 i think the fontaine arc was really well written and went into more depth (get it? depth? waters? ok i'll stop now) and because of how much lore we were given since it seems to be more complex ngl. as for myself, i'm sticking albedo and lyney under the microscope so i can understand them both better

especially albedo. i'd very much like to pick his brain the same way i wanna pick my boyfriend's- coughs

HEJSJD THE WAY I STARTED SMILING AFTER READING THE HCS,,needed that ngl cuz i've been stressed a lot. but i think bedo would be the kind of person who'd do that and create an artificial flower and then name it after me hehehe

but hey, who's to say wanderer wouldn't leave you a flower someplace where you can find it? just a small and sweet gesture and will very most likely deny it (and fails) when you tease him for it mwehehhe i can be devious too ya know or maybe even ayato leaves you a little present like a bracelet or hair accessory after a long day of work

AND NOO ITS OK I LOVE LISTENING TO UR RAMBLES TOO /gen /pos

actually yea i do have some new vibedo trivia! we've officially become engaged and he was the one who proposed first <3 that and he has a tendency to call me "sweet violet" since its an actual flower as well hehe. and tysm!! i'm honestly just doing my best to stay happy since my irl bedo is like very complementary to my personality if that makes sense? like he tends to wear darker clothing, i tend to wear a lot of pastels kinda thing. and so far, we're doing rlly good! sure there are some challenges we're dealing with now but im doing my best to stay positive ^^

also me being 20 ew. somehow i'm still being referred as old sheesh

ok im done rambling now im passing the mic to u hehe /lh

ah, truly. the price of education = freedom to chill !!! 😔 but alas, life is a ongoing journey with hurdles (and i happen to not be an athlete /j). currently, i have my eyes on a social science major atm! so i can hopefully pursue psychology :3 but my second choice is english bcs i cannot stray from the path of linguistics and literature no matter how much i tried /pos. ALSOSOSO if you don't mind, can you tell me more abt what you do in your course? i did my research on google but i think it cannot compare to someone with the actual experience™ ++ i'm just a curious cat and want to enable your rambles hehe <3 /lh

THE PUN, HELP. i agree, the fontaine quest deffo made some waves when it ended. OH I SEE!!! at first glance, i thought i could find a similarity between albedo and lyney (finding vi's type: a reality show jkjk we all already know it's albedo /hj) but the longer i looked, the more i questioned myself 😭 i do think that both of them are deeper than what people credit them for tho! albedo with his knowledge of khemia.... and lyney with his burdens as the next 'father'..... ooOOooO. some emphasis for now on lyney bcs of the 4.6 trailer that just dropped! DID YOU SEE IT YET VI 👁️ (but dw, i understand if you had no time / busy with college!) { the comment abt picking your bf's brain LMAO would he let you?? oh, truly, love is blind 🤭 /lh }

always happy to provide you with hcs!!! my brain buzzes with possibilities all the time && one of the things i love most abt selfships is analyzing how different personalities come together to form habits / idiosyncrasies / love languages of their own. like how albedo conjures up an artificial flower bcs he is simply reminded of his sweet violet — that is special and unique to you in a way. it's vv beautiful, i think!!

AND HSHDHWHSH. THE HCS??? vi, i cannot convey how much i appreciate you. i haven't indulged in my selfships for some time since i didn't have time to be active - so this made me SOSOSO happy aaaaaa!!! but wanderer definitely has left some flowers for me before bcs who else? i suggested the possibility of another suitor and he knocked me on the head (softly) YOWCHHH but hey, at least he admitted it was him! :3c and 'yato.... aghhhhh this man. he leaves a hairpin out in the open but tells me “not to touch it until he gets home” just so he can put it on me himself. he derives joy from seeing me hold back from snatching that thing up myself. meanie /j

AWWW THAT'S SO CUTE!! you two are the apt presentation of “opposites attract”. and i'm glad! i only have average experience with relationships but i think everyone agrees that a relationship isn't sunshine and rainbows all the time. that's as natural as our having good days and bad days in a week. i think what matters is how you both deal with them - and i believe in you & your bf! you're a good egg and ik your bf is too, so do what you both know is best <3 (forgive me if i sound like a grandma here /j BUT hooray to vi and irl albedo! my new fav couple yesyesyes)

[youn9racha]

Tomorrow Never Came

pairing: husband/(?)!changbin x researcher astronaut!reader (afab)

genre: sci-fi au, angst, fluff, comfort (?)

synopsis: you were unhappy that you were forced to leave behind your loving family in order to embark on an unethical mission. while you may be leaving, you and changbin are sure that you two will not be forgotten, no matter how far you are.

warning: sad departure, child mention (y/n and bin has a kid), reference of love making/sex but nothing too detailed, chan is also an astronaut but he’s mainly a background character, y/n’s referred to as “mrs. seo” but pronouns are not mentioned, arguments, just emotional sad shit really.

words: 2.0k

a/n: so this is new, never made a strictly angst fic that has no smut, especially since i write nsfw stuff. although there is no porn (at least at this part), i still wouldn’t want minors to interact with me, so please if you’re under 18, don’t interact. anyhow, i might turn this into a mini series, but still im seeing how this story goes, so if it’s possible, i’ll post a part two if i can. but either way, i hope y’all enjoy this 👹🙏 grab the tissues !!!

extra notes: c/n means the son's name.

This is no way representative of the way Stray Kids act. They’re nothing but references of character, and in no shape or form is this how they act. And I am in no way romanticizing or glamorizing any toxic behavior exhibited, they’re just stories that is meant to be read. Readers discretion is advised.

Here we are, to our destination.

You have no idea what time it was or what day it is, losing the concept of time the longer this trip took from one planet to another. You thought you were a mere astronomy researcher working at the famous big space company, an observer, expected to work on your computer and look up the telescope to see the outside life as you would simply put it. You didn’t expect to take part in this crazy space mission; leaving Earth to find a planet with civilization for humans to colonize. You knew that the time being on this Earth is numbered, especially with how neglectful humans have been, but you didn’t expect yourself to be leaving Earth, leaving all your friends and family at the last minute. You weren’t as experienced or been around as your peers, making you one of the youngest in this mission, along with one other member who was your co-worker named Christopher Bang. They told you the reason you were going is that you were the best fit at keeping records and organized when it comes to gathering information.

It was all overwhelming to you. Your tears gathered up as you had no choice but to follow through with the request as it is your last resort. The dreadful actions of breaking the news to your loved ones left you even worse, with your husband’s, Changbin’s, reaction being the worse.

“What do you mean you’re leaving?! You’re leaving me and our son behind here?!” Hearing the usually soft-spoken man yelling left your heart shattering each time he speaks, “Why didn’t you speak up, huh?! Why didn’t you tell them ‘hey, by the way, I have a husband and a five-year-old kid, and I can’t leave them behind,’ was that fucking hard, (y/n)?!”

“I didn’t have a choice, Changbin!” You retorted back, tears threatening to spill, “you think I wanna leave?! If I had the choice, I would’ve chosen to stay here with you guys, but my hands are tied!”

Changbin could only scoff, looking away from you so you wouldn’t see his teary-eyed. Despite showcasing his anger, he’s more upset than angry, upset that his fear is coming true; you are leaving for a mission. He knew it was going to happen at some point, especially seeing how hard-working you were, but he didn’t expect it to happen so soon, so he didn’t mentally prepare for this to happen.

“When will you be going?” Changbin’s voice cracked as he gulped the lump in his throat, still not looking at you. You sighed as you looked down, dreading to speak.

“Next week…”

Changbin licked his quivering lips as he fights to not sob in front of you, but his sniffling and grimacing came in stronger as he shakes his head and got down on his knees to hold your head so your tear-filled eyes would contact his.

“Please, don’t leave, I don’t want you to go,” Changbin pleaded as he gave in and sobbed with his head leaning into yours. You followed along by wrapping your arms around his shoulders and you two solemnly sobbed into each other’s arms, not wanting to leave each other and hoping the day you leave doesn’t come by. You prefer to wither into his arms as the planet slowly dies than leave your family behind for a mission that you find unethical. You wanted to grow old with Changbin as you see your son go through life milestones like graduating, having a significant other, getting married, etc. You didn’t want to come back with Changbin and your son getting older, and you remain the same.

 So, you two promised that you would communicate whenever possible and not forget about each other no matter how long you’ll take. The ring that binds and signifies your relationship should never be removed no matter what. You’ve told your son that you’ll be gone for a bit, leaving out the details on why or when will you coming back, but you promised him that you’ll come back.

Changbin took the week off and made your little one skip a week of school, just for the three of you to get together and bond before you leave. You three spent time together truly like the world’s ending tomorrow, laughing and playing with no worries, smiles painted on the three of you, relishing the beautiful moment you are having. You truly wished to stay longer, especially after seeing your husband and son playing around the garden, playing with a water gun, and squirting water at each other. While you didn’t want to leave, you were at least glad that Changbin was a good father and your little bundle of joy is going to be in good hands.

It was the night before your departure, and after putting your son to sleep, you and Changbin rolled up into bed, holding each other in your arms, just enjoying the closeness you two are having especially since it’ll take a while until you two would have this moment again.

Changbin squeezed as he kissed the top of your head, inhaling the scent of your hair, “I’ll miss this… I’ll miss being so close to you.”

You lifted your head, as you give your husband a sad smile, “believe me, Bin, I’ll miss this as well.”

You got up and kissed Changbin’s lips which were filled with adoration and passion. Changbin held your waist as he licked your lips to open yours so he could taste your mouth. He groaned as he sense a salty taste, opening his eyes slightly to see your tears spilling out of your closed eyes. He pulled away, making you shake your head, going on with a plea.

“Please, Changbin, don’t forget about me,”

“Sweetheart, I won’t.”

“Promise you that you’ll love me no matter what, and make sure you’ll remind (c/n) that I love him?”

Changbin smiled, “Of course, (y/n), you matter to me more than what you could imagine.”

That’s all you wanted to hear before you began going on his lips and taking in all the love you had for each other. Changbin filled you over, making you lay your head and him on top of you. He pulled away from you so he could take off his shirt, making you smile up to him in excitement, before he got closer to you.

“I’ll love you so hard, I’ll make sure you’ll never forget about me…”

“(Y/n)! (Y/n)!”

Your head shook as you brought yourself back to your current state, realizing that Changbin wasn’t actually next to you, that was a mere past unfortunately to you. You looked at the source and you saw Chris lightly nudging your arm, and then pointing ahead signaling you to look at what he’s seeing. You looked ahead at the head captain, who turned to you with a half-smile, “we’re almost there, buckle up and get your notepads ready!” he announced, before turning back at the control panel. You see ahead a blue and green ball that is awfully like Earth, your eyes marveled at the sight, muttering a “woah,” to yourself.

“We have reached our destinations, boys, it’s time for landing.”

As the captain spoke through the radio, he pressed down a bunch of buttons that allowed the rocket to land. The closer the shuttle got into the atmosphere, the more rattling the ship created. As you felt yourself shaking in place thanks to the ship, you breathed heavily as you held onto the arms of the chair, and panic sinks in even further into your system. The worst way to be stranded—or worse, die—is to be on an unknown planet, where help is nowhere near. You began praying, praying at whoever can answer it, hoping not only you can land safely, but hoping that Changbin and your son are okay, whether you can see them again or not, you just hope they’d be okay back home.

The last time you saw them was before take off, the space station allowed the families of the crew to come in and say their farewells. When you saw your husband and child one last time, you couldn’t help yourself and started crying in their arms, never wanting to let go of them, hoping just at this last minute the mission would get canceled and you get back with your family.

But that wasn’t gonna happen and you knew it.

When you pulled away, tears spilled from your husband’s eyes once again, his hand held onto yours, not wanting to let go of it. You sadly smiled at him as you kissed him a sweet kiss one last time before pulling away, “I love you, Changbin.”

Changbin just looked at you with quivered lips while you kneeled to your son, who was smiling at you. His smile was like Changbin’s, especially with how it brightened up just like his dad except with missing front teeth. “I’ll miss you, darling…”

He wrapped his little arms around your shoulders, placing his chubby cheek on your shoulder blade, “I’ll miss you, mommy.”

Your eyes open suddenly, gasping for air, and getting up from your slumber. You blinked and you see yourself in an unfamiliar setting, the last thing you remembered before blacking out was you were in the space shuttle with Christopher sitting next to you. Instead, you were in a brightly square room, almost like a cell, but instead of bars, you see a bright orange hallway through the glass wall in front of you. You looked around the room and, for a cell, it was eerily comfortable, basic accommodation was met with water, a closet, a coffee table, a couch, and a tv. It felt like a hotel rather than confinement, but it still left you uneasy as you didn’t know where you or your crewmates were.

You hurriedly got up, and as soon as you got up, you saw that you were out of your space suit and instead in the comfortable clothing you brought along, almost as if someone dressed it for you. You rummaged through the room to find your stuff, but nothing stuck out to you, neither were your things found. You then went up to the glass and began banging on it and calling out for whoever can help you.

“Hello! Anyone there?! Christopher?! Captain?! Anyone?!”  

Nothing.

You assume the glass was soundproof, so you slammed your head in it as you sighed in disappointment before turning and sliding down against it. You shook your head as regret begin coursing through your whole body, and slapped yourself in the head.

“God! (y/n), you’re so dumb, you couldn’t have fought harder? Changbin’s right, you should’ve fought harder, otherwise, you wouldn’t be in this fucking mess!” You angrily muttered to yourself. You began voicing out your frustration as you walked around your room before laying back in your bed and covering your face as you sigh through your hand.

“Can this nightmare just end?” Your voice slightly shakes, sadness and frustration expelled out of your mouth with your tone. While venting to yourself with your hand covered, you didn’t notice that the glass door opened, and in came someone.

“Mrs. Seo?”

You froze in place, still, your hand covering your face, as you heard a very familiar voice, it was masculine and slightly deep and raspy. You uncovered your face as you got up with a shocked expression as you looked at the man standing in front of you.

“I see you have awakened, Mrs. Seo,” The man standing in front of you smiled at you hospitably. Your head couldn’t wrap itself, even when the man talked to you, you can’t wrap your head that it’s the man you’ve only had in your head. The black, curly-haired, who is muscular in build, tiger-eyed with a sharp chin, it has to be him, and you were convinced the closer you got to the man standing. Though he maintained a confused expression, he found himself static as you went up to him and held his face, especially seeing your broken facial expression with eyes telling saddening stories.

“Changbin? Is that you?”

[bloodsbane]

ive been thinking about my ~resolutions~ wrt my art for 2023, and i think the main thing is i want to re-learn how to let myself sink into a picture and do stuff just for fun

mainly, i want to develop the patience it takes to put a lot of work into something that i know won't be perfect, because being too scared to start holds me back. in particular i want to make more detailed pictures. not in terms of realism, but like... STUFF. draw more objects, more small details, flavor, personality. i want to try drawing more interior settings, get used to furniture and walls and ceilings and everyday objects. learn to fill in spaces in ways that convey a lot of personality and/or story

i also wanna make more comics!! but newspaper myself when it comes to longer-form projects. excluding MOIRA, which i hope to pick back up again this year, i am going to try limiting myself to short story comics that are only a handful of pages. my problem is that i like slow development of concepts and dialogue-heavy stuff. i want to train myself to be better at just having fun with a simple concept that i can play around with in like, 2-3 pages max. it's going to be tough, but im hoping this will help make me even more proficient in drawing comics and sand down some of the rough edges i feel grating on me still

i also want to make more merch! ever since getting a book specifically for the stickers i collect, i've gotten even more into stickers and want to make more of them. i hope to re-open my etsy store this year, though i may also try to FINALLY do what it takes to set up my own website. i think that would be a good Main Goal for this year - a site to make a porfolio out of, even if i'm not personally interested in securing, like, Professional Art Jobs... I did do some work as a colorist for someone else's comic and I think I'd love the chance to do something like that again? maybe!

a site would also be good for setting up a way to buy merch from me more directly, though there are some perks that come with doing things through etsy... no pay cuts would be pretty sexy though, especially because something as small as stickers or A5 prints are really easy to package on my own. i'll have to look into it and see.

OH AND THE LAST THING IS THAT I WANNA MAKE ZINES! little ones that I can send to friends, and then less-little ones that I can put for sale digitally and physically, maybe for limited runs. gotta research that a bit but i've already got a couple of fun ideas and I'm super excited to find the time to work on stuff like that.

so... here's to hoping, i guess, for a productive year. im hoping my move and major restructure of my life/schedule, and not living with family anymore, is going to give me the space to be more myself irl in ways that will benefit my energy levels and creativity... so here's to hoping i guess!

[horce-divorce]

wisdom tooth update! its fine im just having Moment about the surgical healing process so ill put this under a readmore

tl;dr im healing fine, and also, it bears repeating that I CANNOT BELIEVE how people go walking around like wisdom tooth surgery is No Big Deal So Normal And Minor You'll Be Fine Right Away. we are now at week 2 and I'm just finally starting to get my mojo back but my face is still very sore and I am still having thrice daily body horror moments every time i have to irrigate the (still massive) wound in my face

posting bc it reassures me and also on the offchance this isnt actually normal and someone else can spot that lmao

proceed w caution if you don't like graphic descriptions or pictures of mouths/minor surgical wounds. no blood/gore, just TMI

frantically doing research about what healing wisdom tooth sockets are supposed to look like bc nobody tells you JUST HOW MUCH OF YOUR FACE they have to carve up to get those suckers out???? i have like an indoor chelsea grin situation going on????? but apparently this is all normal, I think??! MOST of the images I see of healing sockets look a lot less dramatic/have MUCH, MUCH smaller incisions. but i have found a few comparable ones to mine. and it doesn't look infected or anything so yeah ig this is just. normal????

i mean i would really expect my incision to be uhh h smaller by week 2. but idk like i said. its otherwise healing fine?

like. im kidding about the chelsea grin thing obviously but also kinda not really. like my actual jaw, like the joint, like the BACK of my mouth, WAY ABOVE the gums, is still split open. like way way more than you'd think would have been necessary. like an additional half inch above my socket. it's basically 2 sockets. that are attached like 1 big socket that goes from my gums into my cheek.

i even took a picture if you wanna see!!

you dont!

but im cursed to look at this 3x a day whether i like it or not!

BEHOLD

look at that! that's 2 weeks post surgery to the day.

its not my gums. that is fully a half inch up past my gums. tbf that sucker was sideways so they probably had to break it out hamburger style instead of hotdog style or w/e, but also, it's been 2 weeks? i expect it to take longer for bone and tissue to fill in the socket, but an incision should be closing up after 2 weeks, shouldnt it????

idk cus like, this is the only "complication" i've had btw, my face/cheek muscles being an issue... nurse suspected I overworked them on days 3-4 in an attempt to get pain relief; I was stretching/massaging/trying to chew too soon. I was only afterwards told how deep the injections go and that they can cause inflammation for weeks afterwards. oops. (i still dont think i'd have been able to talk properly or chew until about day 5 anyway, but i def made it worse. part of me wonders if the incision was even this big to begin with, or if I did that by overworking it.......... 💀)

anyway, my cheek/jaw muscles, right on the incision, hurt way more than my socket. they just keep getting tighter. and tighter. you know that feeling when a tendon/muscle is out of place and then it goes TWONG back into place and you're like "UGHK" ? it's like that inside my jaw, under my tongue and under the socket, except it never twangs back. my face just gets tighter and tighter like a rubber band that won't break, the more i eat/talk/smile the worse it gets. heat helps but it's inflamed as well so im trying to alternate heat/ice.

that said it's gradually getting better every day. vast improvement even from last Friday. but man. that + realizing how far up into my face that incision actually goes has me in a serious recurring body horror moment. i have hated absolutely every single second of this whole process :) this is my personal hell :)

licherally can not BELIEVE the amount of NT people who go walking around like wisdom tooth surgery is NO Big Fuckin Deal Back To Work on Day 3. it's WEEK 2 for me and I am just now getting back to normal, I can eat pretty much anything now (still avoiding crunchy and spicy), but i have to be so careful about how much I use my jaw.

maybe I am just more attached to my teeth and bones than the average guy (i.e. have sensory processing issues) or maybe it's just that ive never had any other surgeries. maybe i hate all surgery this much idk. but what the fuck lol. i do NOT feel I was adequately prepared for this. no way. everyone was like "oh it's fine you'll be in and out in 10 mins, I didnt even take my vicodin bc i didnt even need it, I was back to work on day 3, everybody gets it, they do so many of these all the time." ok but, do you have a fucking adamantium skeleton. you are the creature that god forgot. who are you people. like yeah they cut into my jaw and broke my bones right out of my face, but it's totally fine and im instantly normal again!! couldnt be me!!! what the fuck!!!!

[avo-kat]

i’m non-binary.

i realized this last year, when i was 30.

i knew about the term before and even though i am queer, very tolerant and very leftist, i always, silently, thought to myself “ok thats something the kids are doing. i dont get it but good for them.”

i remember struggling with my gender identity a lot in my teens. i thought it was a natural consequence of being born female in our current world.

i was wrong.

what changed?

people started talking about it more and more. it wasnt just “the kids” being non-binary and using those “silly” neo-pronouns, it was people of all ages and all classes talking about being non-binary.

my story is a bit silly, honestly. i discovered a new song and listened to it for hours on end, like many of us do. except, i could not look away from the singer. i kept staring at him. i was feeling something i never felt before.

the man is attractive, but that was not it. i was not attracted to him, not at all.

but there was... longing.

it was a sudden and fierce kind of longing. my soul was screaming and i cried, not knowing whether from joy or pain.

i printed out his pictures and kept staring and staring and staring and not understanding. what was it about him? what was going on with me?

so i braved the stormy waters and researched what it meant to be trans. for if this was not attraction, then it must be linked with gender.

and i searched. and i questioned. i was so very, very afraid. was i trans? did i want to be a man?

just a few months ago i went from bisexual to lesbian, this could not happen! i could not put down my queer love for woman! this could not be happening!

i did not want to be trans. that would be a very scary thing indeed, but i did not stop, i did not turn back. i had to know.

i read stone butch blues by leslie feinberg and i understood.

at the end of the day:

it should not matter.

it does, unfortunately. it matters a whole fucking lot.

i still have to put on a gender that my workplace understands, i still have to present a gender that strangers can accept, i have to wear a gender to protect myself and to live without a great amount of work.

its not easy and it sucks and i do doubt myself. but this is my doubt. not anybody elses. its private, it belongs to me. it sucks that other people look at me and see a cis woman, it sucks that this needs to be thing at all, that we made rules in such a way that most of us have to be one or the other, even though its completely pointless.

my cis ex didnt see me as non-binary, and while i understand, it really sucked.

im tired and a bit sad and i do doubt myself, but im also very much sure and nobody is allowed to doubt me. its mine. not anybody elses.

im non-binary. or maybe im nothing, maybe im both, maybe im ten genders, maybe im one thing one day, maybe another thing the next day. does it matter? it shouldnt.

i just wanna exist in peace. i wanna wear eyeliner and present my hairy legs and not worry about rejection or worse.

i dont want to doubt myself any longer, i wish things would be different, i wish any of this would not be necessary and we all could be who we are, no questions, no doubts, just being ourselves.

[sandlessdesert]

mxy recovery in yiling au

resident mo xuanyu liker here to give yall more mxy and his found family in yiling.

please check out the other parts first!

PART 1 | PART 2 | ADD. INFO (you are here!)

im not super concrete on the timeline/how things play out, as this is more just driven by the whims of me wanting to see mo xuanyu happy :D. i’d love to hear your ideas on how this comes to be.

as previously stated, wei wuxian and the wens manage to live in relative peace in the burial mounds.

five years after wwx dies in canonverse, a sixteen year old mo xuanyu is removed from the lanling jin sect, and escapes mo manor a few months after his mothers death.

wei wuxian begins teaching mxy safe practices for demonic cultivation given the few times hes tried to demonstrate it for him gave wwx a heart attack and nearly sent both of them to wen qing.

wwx would have preferred to NOT teach him demonic cultivation, but mxy at this point isn’t really used to relationships where he isn’t explicitly being used for something and therefore is trying to be “useful” so he doesn’t get discarded. wwx would prefer to let him have a choice over what that use is than force him to do something.

over time mxy realizes what wwx is doing and that he really just wanted for him to have a means to protect himself. this takes a long time though.

shortly after, a 9 year old wen yuan is a bit jealous that mxy is stealing his xian-gege’s time and being allowed into the demon slaughtering cave when no one else is really allowed to. wwx explains mxy is allowed in because he’s his disciple. a-yuan declares himself wwx’s new disciple on the spot!

 wwx, unable to say no to his a-yuan, wwx takes him in as a “student” aka just letting him run small errands that are safe. (although eventually, wwx does begin teaching him basics of cultivation when he’s old enough)

two years later, (i’m a bit unclear on the canon timeline here so correct me if this doesn’t make sense) xue yang defects from the jin sect through boredom or inconvenience, before he actually kills anyone, eventually seeking out the infamous yiling patriarch. his ability for demonic cultivation is much lower than the canonverse given that no one has been able to raid and sieze wwx’s research post-mortem because he isn’t... well, dead.

some character relationship things under the cut! this got longer than i thought it would fhsdjhf.

as wwx has three students and TECHNICALLY xue yang joined last, actual child wen yuan calls adult xue yang “mei-xiao shidi” and xue yang nearly threw hands with the kid in response. wwx and mxy bribe xy with candy or something to call him “yuan-shixiong” he is 100% doing this to be a little shit because he’s being raised by wwx, not lwj here.

similarly, mxy is “da shixiong” but more often just “yu-ge/yu-gege” according to wen yuan.

the three disciples have been trying to get wwx and lwj together after watching them somehow not get together for literal years and its EXHAUSTING. 

everyone thought maybe a-yuan’s innocent teases of calling lwj nd wwx father and mother would have done something?? to hint at it? but it doesnt work? 

xue yang tries being direct with wwx but wwx clearly doesnt take it to heart. obviously he’s just being rude or playing a prank or something.

mxy is in pain seeing someone as pretty as lwj throw himself at wwx where wwx doesnt even notice meanwhile his own love life is absolutely awful, not really being able to shake the reputation of his past life in the jin sect or his current life where he lives in the burial mounds with the wen remnants.

mxy and wwx work together to create spiritual devices and sell/distribute the safer and more practical inventions to the locals of yiling to make money.

xy and mxy are fiercely loyal to wwx, but do not hesitate to chew him out to wen qing. xue yang will also physically fight him if he’s spouting bullshit and mxy isn’t in the vicinity (both for mxy’s sake and because he would try stopping xy.)

i wanna be clear, while this is a recovery au, wwx and everyone else in the burial mounds are not perfect nor are they therapists. all of them are dealing with their own trauma, wwx in particular can be unstable and explosive from time to time. being in the burial mounds is HARD and they will occasionally unfairly lash out at each other or do the wrong thing. they can never “fix” mxy or his trauma or erase his past abuse. but the point of this au is that despite their issues, despite them sometimes unintentionally hurting their loved ones they are found family and they care about each other deeply. through mutual love and respect and patience he didn’t get before, mxy does get to recover :)

random other things (mostly just wen yuan stuff because he’s my favourite character)

wen yuan is learning the basics of normal cultivation as well as demonic cultivation and is developing a golden core. wei wuxian gifted him suibian since it’s sort of useless to him.

lan wangji visits from time to time to check in and play cleansing for them all. one day he teaches wen yuan how to play it on the xiao when he’s not around (lmao you think they have the ability to maintain a guqin given the circumstance?). everyone in the burial mounds loves when lwj comes around to play since it usually ends up with a small concert of three echoing out of the cave.

[tigerdrop]

in lieu of doing more strenuous hand-based activities heres the Dogboy Gordon In Heat Megamix ive been talking about. i wrote this over the course of a couple months in an effort to feel okay about writing horny shit again and i only just realized there are nearly 6 thousand words here. and they only really fuck for like 10% of that

ta-dah

ive thought a lot about gordon being stuck back at gordonhouse after getting kicked out of barneyhouse. i think its ripe for a lot of pining. (and yes, he is pining over the guy hes actively banging. hes being a big mopey idiot over the fact that he doesnt get to have his fuckbuddy around 24/7.) absence makes the heart grow fonder or whatever and gordons already at a baseline of "wheres benrey. wheres benrey"......and now i am about to turn it up to 11

so lets say......gordons starting to feel weirdly under the weather. sweaty and irritable and tired. hes holing himself up in his room a lot, wrapping himself up in blankets to fight off a chill and a sniffliness that wont go away. and hes gettin awfully moody, too. real fuckin testy. starting shit with freemind for no reason and snapping at og gordon like hes a teenager. and......hes nesting, almost, or at least, gathering up a whole bunch of blankets and pillows and anything that smells vaguely like benrey. (hes not really aware hes doing this last thing.)

basically, long story short, feetman is fucked up. hes pathetic. hes being a huge bitch. at least og gordon feels vaguely sorry for him, and expresses this by way of observing him and trying to treat it. for science. its better than freemind, who just loudly complains about him being a huge bitch and reeking up the place. theres something weird coming from vr gordons corner of the house.....a musky, heady, hormonal kind of thing that makes freemind act simultaneously territorial and irritable and more lascivious than normal. and that also piques og gordons attention, because having both of them be wound up little freaks at the same time is enough to make even the most resilient person pull their hair out

now gordon primes got his suspicions as to whats going on, but hes not gonna tell vr gordon that he suspects hes going into heat. that would compromise the experiment, and all that. so poor gordons just going thru all this shit not knowing what in the fuck is wrong with him and getting more worked up and irritable about it by the day. hes convinced that hes just got the flu, or something......except, uh, haha, jesus christ he is horny all the FUCKING TIME

he doesnt get it! he feels like shit all the time, so why is he constantly fighting off boners and having weird wet dreams and thinking about-- well. his fucking boyfriend, he guesses. (are they boyfriends?? he doesnt know. he gets a weird, sharp pang when he thinks about them not being boyfriends, at this point, but its not like theyve ever talked about it!) gordons half-convinced that hes just losing his mind from being stuck inside all the time and he really just wants to see benrey again. its, like, all he thinks about. (see? hes losing it. theres the proof.)

the sucks thing for everybody else is that gordon is also Extremely Vocal about how shitty he feels and how much he wishes he didnt feel shitty so he could go see benrey and how much he cant stand benrey for not being able to read his mind and come over when he feels bad. eventually freemind gets so sick of his shit that he decides to cut out the middleman and get benrey involved directly. "come take care of your fucking dog before i call the aspca! animal neglect is a crime, asshole!"

(if pressed, freemind would adamantly reject the idea that hes being nice to gordon. but on some level, hes kinda sympathetic. the guys clearly miserable, and he just keeps asking for the same fucking thing. might as well humor him to shut him up.)

vr gordon is completely unaware of these machinations, however. hes just holed up in his room trying to work out what makes him feel better because, uhh, powerade isnt helping

jacking off doesnt do a whole lot for him anymore. like, it feels good, but its not very satisfying. gordon just ends up feeling more restless than anything afterward. and hes always stupid horny. more blankets. a box fan. less blankets. sleeping with one of benreys shirts pressed up to his face. grinding into his pillow when he wakes up hard from yet another weird dream. theyre all a little helpful, and he feels like hes working towards the right thing, somehow, but its never really enough to take the edge off

and then.....he tries......jerking off more. especially when he realizes that its bizarrely soothing to do so while he can smell benrey up close and personal on that stupid shirt of his. better still when he rolls onto his side.....and then his stomach.......rocking his hips into the mattress until he gets the idea to lift his hips a little. and......oh. cool. something kind of......clicks. in his head. as he raises his hips higher while he keeps his arms wrapped around a pillow and benreys shirt jammed against his nose. hes got that lil moment of realization that this is good, actually. this feels like a good move. and its making some of that discomfort melt away

and gordon thinks about.....how it felt. earlier. when they were with barmey. and benrey had him just like this, ass up, face down, and was spreading him apart and licking him open and making him submit and he groans so fucking hard that embarassment just rips through him like lightning. but his tail starting to wag a little faster.....electricity shooting through his belly......and he cant help but wonder. what if benrey had kept going? pulled back and-- maybe, replaced his tongue with his fingers, one at a time, curling them inside him and telling him how well hes behaving and-- and his dick throbs, hard, and gordon realizes he wants fingers inside of himself right fucking now, thank you, hes not fully certain how to accomplish it be he is going to fucking try

(sigh) so my guy figures out about the old fingers in the ass trick. and i need you to understand that i am fully convinced that this is one of those guys who has an uproarious reaction to getting fingers in his ass. mr repressed and uptight over here doesnt really get what the big deal is until he gets braver and pushes a little deeper and hes rock hard in an instant, goodbye, just like everybodys favorite creative writing exercise

and this is what he decides to do for a solid day or two without leaving his room, because, honestly, this is awesome. and the longer he spends jerking off the less time he spends stressing about the fact that his imaginations getting really vivid, here. sure, like, hes no stranger to weird dreams even before this, but this is the first time hes really letting his mind run wild and this dude is nonstop thinking about being bred and gordon still has no fucking idea that hes in heat. doesnt even occur to him

unfortunately this also does not solve his problems but at least it feels baller and it keeps him occupied. also, unfortunately, the increased rate of jerking off is causing a serious uptick in Dog Smells, the effect of which is turning freemind into a nightmare. its just not good vibes in this house. enter: benrey

now i need you to understand that when these two meet up again i want gordon to get Emotional. think about how genuinely excited he gets to see some of his pals in canon. the like......excitement and disbelief when benrey shows up outside his window throwing rocks at it before noclipping in. he forgets to even act pissed off at first. i think it would be super fucking cute for him to drop the game for a moment just out of shock, basically. his tails waggin, his ears are perked up, and hed probably tackle benrey to the ground if he wasnt also a sweaty, trembling mess whos been holed up in his room for days.

and benrey has No Fucking Idea what he has walked in on here. as far as benrey knows, freemind just demanded he get over there and take care of his dog.

(INTERLUDE: here is the part where i gin up a freemind POV of this exact scene. b/c i am out of my fucking mind

so. i had the thought of a freemind POV chapter where hes spying on gordon and benrey.....because. gordons in heat. ive talked about that scenario before too (literally so many FUCKING times okay i just need this dude to have the uncontrollable urge to be bred like a little bitch! and for benrey to take pity on him and make him feel better by nutting in him literally as many times as is physically possible!!!)

but i wanna manifest it in this specific way: from an outside perspective. voyeurism is great and also i have a one track mind and basically the only time i traffic in Other Guys in this fandom anymore is as a participant in gordon and benreys horse shit. Im not apologizing for this

lets say.....vr gordons behavior has been getting worse and worse for "unknown reasons" and freeman prime just sees it as a key observational opportunity for his research. while freeminds getting really irritated at how much its cutting into his normal way of life. for one thing, vr gordons room reeks, and he cant even escape it in his own room! and its turning him into a feisty, aggressive, and loud son of a bitch. but he cant even resolve it in his usual fashion at this point (baiting vr gordon into another competition/fuckfest) b/c gordons being a little sadsack holed up in his room and doesnt wanna play

but also.....he kinda just feels bad for the guy at a certain point. hes clearly really miserable and looks downright ill and all hes asking for is to see his boytoy again. (gordons convinced that hes dying, and feels the need to dramatically speak to benrey one last time before he croaks.) so freemind decides, in all his benevolence, to go over gordon primes head and drag the guy over there anyway. (with machinations, not his literal bare hands. what is he, a caveman?) he reasons that itll be a good opportunity to twist gordons arm into groveling at his feet later

and he spies on the two of them in gordons room.....why? idk. possibly something to do with investigating this relationship between a gordon and a barney that he had yet to fully analyze. tl;dr he gets trapped in their closet for a remix of that one barmey voyeurism chapter b/c why the fuck not

i just.....i dont know.....i think theres something really charming about a 3rd party not being able to fully make out what theyre saying or doing but piecing things together anyway.....like benreys weirdly soft tone of voice when hes talking to a super agitated gordon. as far as any of them know, hes not really like that. he either sounds bored or smug, but either way, its usually straight-up antagonistic

it would make freemind bristle to hear it b/c its almost a mocking tone, but.....it makes gordons shoulders drop and gets him to let go of some of that tension and thats probably fascinating to watch. literally soothing him like a stressed out dog, huh. smoothing back his hair and murmuring things in a low, even tone that freeminds enhanced hearing still isnt good enough to make out. (the guy mumbles, okay? he needs a fucking toastmasters meetup.)

it would equal parts horrify and fascinate freemind, in my onion. watching a version of himself fall that hard into the loyal pet role.....its pathetic! for all that gordon goes on about not being a slave to his instinct or whatever, he sure is doing a bad job of acting like it! its like watching himself, but worse.

and benreys having to soothe him like a startled animal b/c he doesnt even know whats wrong with himself, but theres something thick enough on the air that even benrey can smell it, and hes taking some stabs at the dark. especially with how charged some of the shit gordons saying is......"i cant fucking take it anymore", "you smell so good", "i dont know whats wrong with me, man, my dick hasnt gone down for days and im pretty sure i need a doctor-- no, a real one, not the other gor-- NOT a vet, JESUS"

and the whole time.....freeminds peeking from behind a closet door. watching them devolve from outright hostility into "gordon climbing into benreys lap and shoving one of benreys hands up his shirt and demanding that he fucking touch him already"

normally i dont think freemind would be averse to a little bit of voyeurism, here. if it was anybody else, hed probably at least engage in a little heavy petting. but this is getting weird, man. he cant shake the uncanny feeling that this is something too intimate for him to be watching. for one thing, gordons whimpering like a goddamn dog just from a little necking, and for two, hes never really been the kind of guy to watch people make out for 15 minutes before they get to the good stuff

its just kind of unsettling how much these two clearly really, really like each other at this point. its not like watching gordon prime give vr gordon a handjob as part of a "test". freemind expected more of a hatefuck kind of deal out of these two, what with how often gordons normally going on about how much he hates the guy, what a pain in the ass benrey is, how he just wishes benrey would stop jerking him around.....etc. freemind could shit himself right now. that lying bitch!

i imagine its also kind of painful, on a personal level, for him to watch this borderline-sappy shit. he cant even fathom being on the receiving end of that behavior, let alone from......well. theyve all got their barneys, right? and gordon primes basically doomed himself to incel status b/c he wont nut up and do anything about it. freemind just assumed they were all in the same boat: cursed to casual sex with their roommates/clones, forever, and unable to achieve any kind of intimacy b/c all 3 gordons are fucked up in the exact same way. since theyre all just diff flavors of the same fucking guy, right?

well, theres the evidence that hes wrong. and that vr gordons better than him, somehow. thats gotta suck, bro

anyway then he watches vr gordon get railed in the ass a bunch and jerks off anyway b/c its still hot. see ya)

“take care of your dog”. huh. hes got no clue what that means but, yknow, he does kinda miss his dog. hasnt seen gordon in awhile. and he immediately comments "wow. you look fucked up" in as blunt and unsympathetic a way as possible. but gordons so far gone that he cant even work up a good anger about it. he is pretty fucked up, man. and benrey sits on the bed and slaps his forehead with a palm to take his temperature (and that gets gordon to bitch at him, finally, that thats not how you do it, asshole) and judges that, uh, he is hot. in his expert opinion

and thats when gordon kinda grabs his sleeve and tugs it and starts tryin to say something. hes really bad at it, because he is having to perform the mortifying task of Owning Up To It, but eventually he manages to grind out that he needs benrey to touch him, please. just pet him. something. he feels really bad and he just needs benrey to scratch his fucking ears. this is the most gordon can cop to in one go, and it is such a sad struggle to watch, but benreys caught off guard by it and he feels weirdly bad for gordon upon hearing it so  hes just like "whoa, okay" when gordon tugs his hand to his head

gordon groans the moment his fingernails start scratching behind the ears and digging into his scalp. even just that much feels really fucking good. its comforting, for one thing, and its benrey, for another, and the physical touch feels so fucking good right now that goosebumps are crawling down his neck. gordon cant help but lean against benrey and bury his head in the crook of his shoulder. he wants to hide his face from scrutiny and he wants to get closer but he doesnt know how to say what his fucking problem is

and benreys weirdly quiet. just kinda mumbling and shushing him intermittently, awkward and not sure what to do b/c this is a level of intimacy he was not expecting but gordons sure is responding nicely to a second hand in his hair

so having both of benreys hands scratching at his scalp is really getting to gordon. hes scritchin behind the ears and gordons tails wagging at a mile a minute. the feelings making goosebumps race down his neck and arms. he starts kind of mumbling something into benreys shoulder, how hes been feeling so fucked up lately, and he squirms a little closer. hes not really aiming for anywhere in particular but every neuron thats firing in him right now is telling him to get closer. make contact. he missed the fucking guy, what can he say.

and one of benreys hands......slips down to gordons face. his jaw. a thumb pushing into that soft little divot between his jaw and neck, like hes trying to push up into gordons fucking teeth. its weird and bizarrely intrusive, but benreys hand is broad and warm and gordon leans into it anyway, groaning with relief. its not like its not doing anything for him. kind of the opposite, actually. then he palms at gordons neck, and gordon starts breathing harder. he can feel his heartbeat rabbit-fast, pushing against benreys skin (and theres no way benrey isnt feeling that, too).

benrey eyes are lidded and his breaths starting to get heavier, too. naturally, yknow, since gordons practically draped over him right now, melting all the more the longer benrey keeps petting him. oxytocin is crazy, man, especially when a guys in the full throes of some kind of chemical meltdown of the glands. gordons eyes are screwed shut, tail thumping furiously against the bed, and hes panting at benreys neck like hes a fucking dog.  he just doesnt know how to articulate what the fuck his problem is

benrey smells insanely good to him right now, and gordon just blurts that out. benrey gives him some shit for it, but when gordon only makes a weird noise in response and fists his hands in benreys hoodie, it makes him shut up real quick. hes squeezing out words about feeling like he needs something, but its clearly a fucking effort. its almost pitiful

so. gordons crawled right into benreys lap, too impatient after days and days of feeling like this (you know, being in heat, in so many words). hes been pounding off like crazy, that brand new collar of his strapped to his neck nearly every time b/c hes that desperate to feel… well. *benrey*. he cant fucking jerk off to thoughts of anything else - porn doesnt do it for him, and his fantasies slip right back to the same thing every single time. its frustrating! hes bisexual, for gods sake! its not like hes normally immune to the wiles of the Phat Ass White Girl, but lately he just keeps ending up on his hands and knees and whining benreys name into his pillow and he couldnt focus on a girls rack if he tried

point being. hes being awfully fucking demanding. (and also, hes wearing the collar *right fucking now)*. he shoves benreys hand up his shirt and shivers the moment he makes contact with gordons burning-hot flesh. and hes demanding that benrey touch him already, jesus, hes losing his mind! and benreys just crooning at him, “bossy, huh,” but hes scritching gordons ears and palming at his side and nosing at gordons neck and gordon starts to feel like hes melting into it. his protests at being talked down to are perfunctory at best

benrey licks a stripe up gordons neck and starts muttering his stupid horseshit right in gordons ear and it makes gordon clutch his shoulders so tight, claws digging into the meat of him. benreys kind of into it, though, and it just makes him laugh, low and harsh and right in gordons ear. that just makes gordons problem worse. he lets out quiet, nasal whines on every exhale, like a literal fucking dog.

he starts teasing, like, “haha, you’re *gagging* for it, bro,” but gordon doesnt respond with the defensiveness he expects. instead, its like opening a floodgate - he is, hes fucking *desperate*, okay, his dick hasnt gone down in days and he wants benrey so bad he cant see straight and he cant stop thinking about him and all of this comes tumbling out of him at once. gordons trying to press himself as close to benrey as he can physically get, legs straddling benreys lap and arms clutched tight around his back. and when benrey prods a little more, tells gordon to say what hes been thinkin about, gordon starts to pant, squeezing his eyes shut. but he cant bring himself to do anything more than choke and stutter on the words

hes half-hard in his underwear already (and, lets be be clear, he was only in boxer briefs and a tank top to begin with. hes sweating buckets and its the least amount of clothing he could get away with wearing around the house) and his tails thumping a mile a minute and hes so far gone, just from benrey talking down to him and kissing his neck and scratching his ears. but hes not budging yet, so benrey slides that hand on his ears over to his ponytail and *yanks*. tells him, “speak.” gordons dick twitches rapidly, and he lets out a sharp sound, and he finally says it: he needs benrey to *fuck* him, jesus

benrey lets out a harsh breath at that. “yeah? thats what puppy wants?” and the nickname should blister him, make him feel to embarrassed to continue, but gordons too desperate to care. he just starts spewing a litany of “god yes”s and “please”s. hes getting harder and harder, pressed up against benreys belly, and benrey can *feel* it. “good boy,” he mutters, and those claws dig harder, that panting gets louder and harsher

he slips a hand around to gordons back, rubbing slowly for a moment as if to soothe him, and then slides it under the back of gordons boxers. and lower still. starts rubbing at gordons hole. that gets a quiet “oh god” out of gordon.

gordon cant help himself - he rocks forward against benrey, just a little, rubbing his bulge against what he realizes is benreys *extremely* hard dick in his sweatpants. hes not the only one whos got it bad. but he *is* the only one whispering, “fuck, fuck, fuck,” as benrey pushes a little further, makes as if hes about to breach gordon dry. the poor guys so needy that he probably wouldnt even argue!

but benrey just stares at him, wide eyed and flushed, mouth hanging open a little. gordons so hot for this that it surprises the both of them.

anyway after some boring position finagling benrey coaxes gordon onto his hands and knees, running a broad hand down gordons shaking back. and he pulls back gordons tail, exposing him. its so fucking humiliating - gordons got his face buried in a pillow, and his ass in the air, and hes never felt so *vulnerable* before. he wants to argue, he wants to lift his head and look back to make sure that everythings, like, okay back there - benreys staring at his entire asshole, okay, and he wasnt exactly anticipating benrey making a house call to fuck him in the ass - but every time he lifts his head, or starts to say something neurotic about it, benrey chides him about it. clicks his tongue. tells him, “hey. dogs dont talk” or “i said *bow*, bro”.

for all his insisting that hes a real guy, that hes not just a dog, gordons feeling less and less like a human and more like something in thrall to his instincts. the condescension rankles like it always does, but doing what benrey tells him to feels good. feels natural. presenting himself like this feels like what hes *supposed* to do. it doesnt stop him from running his mouth entirely, but it helps to mitigate some of the embarrassment.

and then… benrey *licks*. gordon tenses and gasps. he doesnt know how benrey can stand it, its gotta be, like, unhygienic! but that didnt scare him off the last time they tried this, and its not like gordon hasnt thought about it since. hes thought about it a lot, actually. but hes been too neurotic to ask for it. benreys not stupid, though. hes a good dog owner (at least, so he thinks) and hes gonna take care of his dog. so he licks again, and again, pressing a little harder against gordons hole on each pass with the broad side of his tongue until he dares to breach it with the tip.

gordons rock hard again in an instant. his dick hangs between his legs and drips onto the sheets. he digs his fingers into the pillow now, tearing holes in its surface with those sharp nails of his, and he makes embarrassingly high noises that he muffles into into the pillow, too. hes tense, hes so fucking tense, he should be clamping down and making benreys task really fucking hard, but theres bright pink sweet voice dripping from his hole and benreys rubbing the side of his thigh in an effort to soothe him and both of these things work in tandem to get him to relax. and benrey works his tongue in further, further than a human ought to.

the tip was one thing, but it gets wider as benrey pushes it in, and its just as good as it was before - better, even, because now its just the two of them, just a master and his dog, and benreys the only one he wants to see him like this. bent over and whimpering. he cant— he cant stomach the thought of anybody else doing this to him. hell, there was a point once where the idea of stomaching *benrey* doing this to him would have made him laugh. but here he is. benreys fucking him open with his tongue and pressing against something thats making him see stars and gordon just wants *more*. he says it so sweet, too, voice growing hoarse and raw as he begs benrey to just fucking do it already, he doesnt wanna come like this!

gordon gets so worked up and emotional about it that benrey takes the time to scratch behind his ears again, shushing him and telling him to chill. benreys got him. hes been a good dog, and good dogs get treats. hearing the words “good dog” makes gordons entire body flush. thats all he wants, really. he wants to be a good dog. he wants to be *told*. he blurts out, “oh my god— say it again,” and benreys like, “huh? say what? youre gonna have to be more specific,” clicking the last syllable. it makes all the hairs on gordons head rise and prickle with shame. the best he can do is mumble it into his pillow.

benrey hears it, though, and tugs at gordons collar from behind, just enough to raise his head. “whassat? you want me to call you a good boy?” gordon cant bring himself to answer that directly, but his stupid body betrays him by making him whine. jesus christ, yes, thats all he WANTS! he needs benrey to be good and nice to him for once in his fucking life and give him what he wants instead of taking, taking, taking! but benrey just tells him that hes gonna have to earn it. gonna have to be *real* good for him. gordon could fucking snarl at that, but benreys pulling back to rub his dick between gordons cheeks and against his hole and that shuts him up pretty fast because hes *so close* to getting what he wants and hes not about to fuck it up now by running his big dumb mouth

and then… he starts to push in. that sweet voice has loosened gordon up enough to take even benrey, who, uh, is definitely the bigger of the two, in that regard. he goes slow, uncharacteristically so, and gordons chest heaves with the force of how hard hes breathing. a quiet string of “oh god”s spills out of him as he tries to crane his neck back to watch. the head breaches him with a strange popping sensation, and benrey groans, loud, as the rest of him slides in with little resistance in comparison. “good,” he pants in turn, “youre takin it so good,” and—

and gordon comes, in weak, aborted spurts. it snuck up on him. he clenches so fucking tightly that it winds benrey a little. he breathes out, “whoa. did you—” but gordon just begs him to shut up, keep going, hes not— hes not done yet, its always like this, its not *enough*. his dick barely even flags afterward, it just hangs there, achingly hard and dripping with cum. benrey cant even find it in himself to make fun of him. he wants it so fucking bad, doesnt he? and he feels so good, so fucking tight and slick around benrey that the only thought running through his head is “gotta take care of my dog gotta fuck my best friend gotta nut in him and make him howl”. so he pushes himself alllll the way in until theyre pressed together, skin to skin.

then he starts to move. slow, careful thrusts, more for benreys benefit than gordons. if hes not careful, hes gonna blow his load, right then and there, and hes trying to make it good for gordon, too, okay? unlike *some* of them, hes not gonna bust in two minutes and then spend the next half hour crying and trauma-dumping to the guy hes still got his dick inside of.

once he thinks hes got a grip, though, benrey starts fucking him in earnest, and that changes gordons vocalizations from weak little whimpers into something louder. less restrained. hes given up any pretense of being quiet so that his other selves dont hear that hes snuck his boytoy into his room. just loud, wordless moans on each thrust, initially muffled into the pillow but soon spilling into the wider room when he turns his head to catch his breath. the only words hes managing are “oh god” and “please” and “benrey, benrey, *benrey*”, and benrey just responds to him like, “yeah? thats good? fuuuck, bro, so good for me,” all short of breath and barely able to speak himself

he wants to see gordons face. he *needs* to see gordons face. needs to see what hes doing to him, needs to see that cute fuckin blush of his. so he tugs on gordons collar again, bringing him to his hands and knees properly instead of that bowing position. and then further still - pulls him back so that benreys on his knees, and gordons on his knees in turn, on his lap, cock still buried inside of him and fucking him in short, hurried thrusts. “paws up,” benrey tells him, and gordon does it. instantly. no resistance. just folds them at his chest like a real dog would.

“whos a good boy?” benrey croons, right in his ear again. gordon gasps, “i-i am!”

“yeah? youre a good boy?” nod, wail. “whose— whose good boy are you?”

and gordon chokes on his response. he cant say it, he *cant*, he doesnt want to be benreys but he does, he *does*. he doesnt want to be benreys because its not fucking fair! he cares so fucking much! so much more than benrey does, it feels like, obsessing over the guy like hes wrapped thorny vines all around gordons heart and he cant so much as shift in his seat without feeling the tug and the ache and thinking of benrey again. and benrey doesnt care, he never fucking cares, except—

except he showed up at gordons house, in his room. without even being asked. like he knew something was wrong. and he— hes always talking to gordon, shooting him stupid texts just to make him laugh. scheduling *date nights* for them. date nights where, yeah, maybe they couldnt see each other in person, and maybe they always end in some kind of depraved sexual act, but its not like gordons not into it. hes frighteningly into it, actually. and hes *so* into hearing benreys voice, low and crooning, right in his ear, and seeing him lean on an elbow and smile at him afterward. its— its practically genuine. and benreys always making excuses to talk with him, do things with him, watch stupid fucking movies that only gordon cares about and stream with him on twitch to help boost his subscriber count and—

and—

oh god. maybe he *does* care. that might be more terrifying than the alternative.

then benrey yanks the collar again. presses the whole of gordons back against his front in one hot, unbroken line. and asks, “i said, whose good boy are you, bro? *speak.*”

“benrey,” he blurts out, a ragged moan, “d-dont make me sa-AY it, oh god—”

“no?” benrey stills suddenly. his hands keep gordon stuck in place, unable to move or bounce or feel benrey shift inside of him. “thats, uh… thats too bad, friend. this trains for good boys only. good dogs go to heaven 2. no bad dogs allowed. gonna have to, uhh, escort you off—”

“im not a bad dog!”

“i dunno, gordo. bein’ kind of, uh… disobedient.”

(sorry. thats all i got . byeeee)

[bnhaclaimedmysoul]

request: Hi im crying right now because of my period im just really emotional but your writing literally brightens my mood alot i was wondering if i could request a hcs for bakugo/todoroki/kirishima when they try make you feel better by rubbing your stomach but its not working and your moods are really aggressive so you dont really want to talk to anyone but have your hot pack and try to sleep or not you dont have to.Others that i read just say he rubbed your stomach until you slept but that doesnt help

a/n: okie, here’s my (rather horrible) attempt at period comfort fluff. a longer answer is provided in the actual ask <3

bakugou

-he really doesn’t know what to do

-just tries to ward off whenever he is 6 feet within your radius because he doesn’t want to irritate you

-cuz you already have your own set of irritations you need to deal with

-he doesn’t wanna add more to it

-will do his fair share of research on the net

-but doesn’t really believe it since the internet is the wild wild west with zero filter

-eventually gathers his courage and asks mina for advice

-will even observe his mom if he needs to

-will whack that coffee off your hand and screams

-”dRINK WATER NOT THIS DEHYDRATING SHIT”

-monitors yours condition and forces you to drink water

-will try to have painkillers on him at all times, for emergency usage

-drags you out of bed for some exercise to help alleviate the pain

-lets you be moody around him and just occasionally clicks his tongue

-but will silently put up with it since he really does love you

-distraction is a great way to reduce pains

-will pointlessly scream at other extras so that you redirect your attention to his relentless shouting and not your pain

-for extreme cases

-kisses your lips out of nowhere 

-and just holds you in his embrace

-will restock your sanitary supplies without you even asking for it

-it’s just one of the sweet but discreet things he does to show you that he truly does love you and takes care of you

todoroki

-really stressed out by your pains

-probably more than you are

-he just freezes, feels super helpless

-thankfully the trusty women of his family have got his back

-and they impart all the knowledge they have collected over time to him

-he sure does make notes and everything

-will research what temperatures are beneficial for you

-and refuses to move his left hand from your abdomen even if it falls asleep

-please touch it and he’ll just give you the most strained and the cutest expression in his entire life

-will work with you on patrol

-has a bunch of painkillers with him in his hero costume 

-so depending on the severity, he’ll administer the apt one

-tries to avoid it as much as you can 

-but sometimes he can’t see your pained expression 

-and he feels the need to relieve you from the pain

-will cuddle you if you want

-will put up with your antics

-doesn’t flinch an inch when your raging hormones unleash hell on the poor boi

-will bring all the toasty blankets and the warm milk since he read that warm milk helps induce sleep

-hauls a hoard of movies and let’s you watch toy story 4 for thr 32nd time with him

-if it’s gonna help you feel better, he’s gonna do anything he can

-if you ask for kisses

-watch him drop everything he is doing at the moment to race his way to your dorm room and kiss the hell out of you

-since your serotonin>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>than anything else in the world

kirishima 

-will do everything he can

-since a real man will do anything to relieve the pain of his lady

-will set up really warm baths in the evening, when you come back from training

-gives you his favorite bath bombs, essential oils, face masks to deal with hormonal breakout and tiredness

-the whole bath experience since he learns that heat helps relax pains

-gives the nicest lower back massages 

-kinda feels embarrassed when he walks into the ladies section of the pharmacy

-and all the cashiers are chuckling at his confusion

-eventually asks your preferred brand, snacks and what not

-becomes a pro at it

-all other girlfriends are just jealous of him

-where can they get such a sweetheart of a bf who fearlessly buys sanitary products

-they can’t lolol

-hourly pops in with a glass of water for you to drink since he wants to prevent dehydration

-tries to control your diet

-but gives into your babie face and treats you to whatever you want

-cuddles you up real nice

-gets real hurt when you unleash you anger

-and mops around for a while

-is just really down

-but clears his head once he sees you struggling with your pains

-and realizes his feelings of painfulness are nothing compared to yours

-offers kisses which last for eons, which make you forget about your pain

-and when you ask him to do it again since you forgot about your pain

-he just breaks into a wide smile, excited to do it all over again

[saintobio]

i always love the way you write, it really shows how much effort you put in your writing. and to add i also like the way you base it on reality and research about it. the way your fiction shows so much emotions that it also effects the reader, truly means that your work is outstanding. and the longer it takes you to upload a new fiction to your blog shows how much effort you put into it. i hope you rest well because you deserve it! ٩(˃̶͈̀௰˂̶͈́)و - 🦭

Anonymous said

heyyy, how you're doing?! I'm new here and I need to tell you that I'm OBSSESSED with your work — your histories are SOOOO ADDICTIVE, you've got an amazing way with the words, like, really, I'm complettely astounished by the way you just put everything together with such tell those amazing stories, making me feel every single thing, it's just— I'm literally out of words. I'm so thankfuk that I found your work, it brings me literal JOY to read everything you write,,,,,,, although I end up crying..... several times...... (but I love it, somehow, don't worry). Sooo, I wanted to ask you something, and I don't know if you've ever recieved an question like this before: how would things go if Gojo wasn't in a relationship with Sera? He'd fall for Y/N? Would things workout?

(Also, sorry if ponctuation and grammar feel kinda off, english is not my first language and, sometimes, it's still a struggle for me!!! :D)

Love your work BYEEEE

Anonymous said

please, your writings are sooo out of this world 😭

I remember preparing my heart and sanity to read "wastelands" after a few months before binge reading it (that time the series was still ongoing), I'm already in pain just by looking at the summary and I'm in absolute pain

Currently reading "underground fight club" hoho, your series are *chef's kiss*

Now, I'm preparing myself again to binge read the "sincerely not" series :') THANK YOU FOR the pain YOUR SERVICE! You're such a great writer!

@atsumusoup said

Hiiiii I just wanna say I love sincerely not so much it broke my heart but in a good yet unsettling yet amazing way 😭 thanks so much for all your hard work and although I don’t interact as much anymore watching your blog grow from remember forever to now it’s insane! I binge read the last four chapters of after my midterms and cried so harddddd

Your work literally sends me on rollercoasters and I get so excited to read them 🤩 can’t wait to see what u have I store next! Take care b! 💜

Anonymous said

Saint can I just tell you how much i love your series n the small details that you have put in? Because of you i realized that i have a birkins bag (it was given to me by my mother's boss 😫) and even so your story gave me motivation to learn more abt the business industry? Even the fashion industry also because that's how impactful your story is to me 😂 its funny because when you read sn you're not only reading you're learning too! so i admire your efforts in learning more abt this assigned field or topic even though you have had a hard time in this fic because everything came out well in the end and your dedication for this fic is unlike any others you're an author i aspire to be thank you very much love!! ❤❤

@captainchrisstan said

Saint, great chapter! Im so happy that i was in this adventure with you! What a rollercoaster! ❤️😭😭😭 cant wait 🥰

Anonymous said

me already crying b4 reading:

Saint, thank you for being such a genious and writing this masterpiece.

When I stumbled upon this fanfiction, I was crying and feeling like shit, thinking abt su*cide. I started to read thinking it would be one of those stories that s/n would be like those fragile FL, but I was wrong. Your main character was so original, never expected such a complex personality and how it's similar to reality, where people are like shades of grade, never only white or black.

I was so interested in this story that it became my motivation to continue living because it was one of the only things that would make my day. Your fanfiction saved me.

Thank you,

- ♤

i love love looove every single one of u !! thank you for loving sn and for looking forward to sy <33 all the happiness and pain we’ve shared bc of this series made me feel so connected with u guys aaaaa 🥺 i’m genuinely so grateful for the support and have been reading these messages for the past few weeks. i’m sorry it took me awhile to get back to all of u !!

[deputybodecker]

I’m smart enough to have done my research after I met ya that night. You have a record so it wasn’t hard to figure out where ya were livin’. After that I could pull records on your whole family. At least the ones that had been through Knockemstiff. One’a the ladies down at the diner even had a mouth big enough to tell me about your family. Or what might’a been left of ‘em. You were takin’ care of a sick uncle or somethin’, Dolores had the good heart to tell me how sweet you were, even if you did like to get mixed up in a little trouble now and again. Told me how she would bring some extra food ‘round your place now and again just to make sure the both of ya were eatin’ alright. I listened intently to her, of course, any information I could get about ya would be invaluable to the plans I had set.

No sooner did the last piece of what I needed fall in place than the catalyst set everything in motion.

The funeral of your uncle was a somber affair, he was a veteran so we gave ‘im the proper sendoff. I made sure that the flowers I bought looked pretty, white lilies and red roses and a separate bouquet just for you. Just to make sure you had an opportunity to see how sorry I was that all’a this was happenin’ to ya. I hate that you’re all alone right now, but I know that it won’t be that way for much longer. I been keepin’ your files in my desk; every mention of ya in print locked away in a box that only I have access to. I was just waitin’ on that sick old fucker to die, and now that he’s restin’ peacefully six feet under, I’m ready to take what’s mine.

There’s a chill that’s runnin’ through the town as we close in on late fall and it’s got me tuckin’ my leather jacket up under my chin. I kill the headlights when I pull up to your house, careful not to shut the cruiser door too loud for fear’a wakin’ ya up so late in the night. I had Dolores deliver a bottle’a wine to ya, feignin’ some bullshit about me bein’ sweet on ya but too shy to deliver it right away. Told her I just wanted to see if it was somethin’ you’d like if I did bring it to ya, so that she would get you to have a glass without revealin’ the source. As I work the lock on your front door open and swing the door wide, I’m pleased to find that my plan went off without a hitch. Delores is slumped in an armchair next to the furnace and you’re sleepin’ peacefully on the couch next to her, soft snores reverberatin’ throughout the room, a sound I look forward to fallin’ asleep next to.

I scoop ya up into my arms, keepin’ the blanket under ya while carry ya back out to the cruiser, settlin’ you gently along the bench seat in the back, wired partition between us in case you woke up and got rowdy. Though with the amount of sedative I’d laced in the wine you drank, I imagine it’s gonna take another few hours before they even begin to wear off, more time than I need, but I know you need the rest, sweet angel. You ain’t gotta do anything by yourself ever again. I put everything back the way I found it in the house before I climb back into the cruiser and head back to my conservative two-bedroom home. It’s not the home I wanna settle in, but it’ll be nice as a little starter for us.

I carry you. bridal style, through the front door, everything prepared for your arrival. No one ever comes out to my house, I made sure of it. No one is gonna see the bars on the windows, or the locks on the outside of the doors. I lay you in your new bed, plush with feather pillows and a thick down comforter. I take a moment to just drink you in. Soft and pliant, I could take ya right now if I wanted to, but I resolve to wait. I want ya awake and responsive when I drive the thickness of myself inta your tight, weeping cunt. Want ya to cry and beg. I cover ya up, tuck ya in nice and tight so you don’t catch a cold, and press a kiss to your temple, smellin’ the soft lavender of your hair as I do. Breakin’ you is gonna be the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done, I can feel it in my chest, and I’m eager to watch ya fall apart so I can put ya back together just how I want.

@viridescent-steph