#this was super late because I started too late and I hate doing 3D props

[chat-perlipopette]

❤️(Delayed) Valentines 3D render collection with the AI gals!❤️

Inspired by GBF's Valentines CG artworks Has a certain spoiler character from AINI under the cut!

[kirishwima]

I don't know if your requests are open (If they are not, you can ignore and delete this ask), but could please write RFA + Saeran and V reacting to MC neglecting them for work? Like she's super busy inviting party guests and isn't giving them enough attention, so they are all pouty about it? Thank you!! I love your writing ♥️

heyo! this is rly cute and honestly...given MC’s responsibilities it’s absoloutely normal she’d neglect them a bit for the party heheh

since you specified pronouns I’ll be using she/her for MC!

Let’s assume this is the second party the RFA is hosting ever since MC joined-so it’d be the first time the RFA can see her work up close, and since it’ll be a bigger event than the first party, the pressure is even higher!

YOOSUNG:

* He thinks MC is so cool and professional! Seiing her ducked over her laptop conducting e-mails and correspondance, frequently talking with caters and other necessary personel for the party to accommodate guests-he’s so happy his girlfriend is so efficient and smart!

* He does his best to help MC-bringing her snacks whilst she works, tries to be quieter as she works-no more yelling into his microphone whilst playing LOLOL lol, he’s just a supportive boyfriend all in all

* But as the day of the party approaches, MC is distant, the stress overtaking her as she focuses on her tasks.

* Yoosung tries to be understanding but-but then at night he waited for hours for MC to come to bed so he can cuddle her and sleep but she stayed up so late! And this is coming from Yoosung of all people!

* He couldn’t help it-the next morning he was Mr. Pouty McFrown.

* We’re talking full  blown exaggerated frown, with puffed cheeks and all. It was impossible for MC not to notice, even as she’d ducked her head onto her phone since early morning, replying yet to another e-mail of a guest asking for impossible tasks and questions.

* “What-what’s wrong?” she asked with a giggle as Yoosung leaned down in front of her, squishing his cheeks between his palms. She ruffled his hair, which only made him groan in disappointment.

* MC had to prod him a lot to answer, eventually switching from her teasing “Whaaat? Yoosungie, tell me what’s wrong~” to poking at his sides, earning little huffs of laughter as he tried to keep himself from laughing at the tickling sensation.

* She took advantage of that, tickling his sides until he couldn’t hold his frown any longer, laughing to the point of tears-neither of them realised when they ended up on the kitchen floor, MC on top of Yoosung as he pushed her hands away from his sides.

* They took a moment, looking to each other with fond smiles before Yoosung sighed in defeat. 

* “MC-you love me right?” he asked, his cheeks red.

* “Wha-of course I do! Why would you even ask me that?” MC felt almost offended at the question, prodding Yoosung with her gaze to talk.

* “Just-you’ve been so distant! I waited up for you to come to bed yesterday and you never did! I can’t-I don’t sleep that well if we don’t cuddle” he admitted with a pout. 

* MC had no retort to that. She simply leaned down, kissing him as she promised to pay more attention to him.

* And she’s never missed another night time cuddle session ever, ever again.

ZEN:

* You’d think he’d be really understanding, that he’d be sure to give MC the space and time she needs to work.

* But oh, you’d be very, very wrong-for Zen, the kinght, is in fact the biggest attention ho in the whole entire world.

* He will count the SECONDS between each hug and kiss from MC. And if it exceeds what he deems okay, he WILL come and demand those kisses for himself, work be damned.

* Is MC sitting on the couch with her phone, answering e-mails? Zen will plop himself onto the couch, shuffle beneath her hands and prop his chin on her chest beneath her phone with a pout.

* “Baby~ Where’s my afternoon kisses? Are you more interested in your phone than in me?” he’d teasingly ask, and well, it’s impossible to not lean down and kiss his ridiculous pout in moments like this.

* Jokes aside he’d be as helpful as he could, reminding MC to take frequent breaks and go to bed on time. He’d never admit he can’t sleep without holding her close but well-that’d be the truth.

* The days leading up to the party, MC would take her laptop with her even to bed, working on last-minute details that took all of her concentration-even Zen posing beside her, waggling his eyebrows did nothing to break her concentration

* Kudos to you MC because none of us could never-

* He’d have to take drastic measures-tackling her to give her cheeks, her nose, all of her face really peppered with little kisses, blowing a rasberry on her neck for good measure until she’s laughing and paying attention to him at long last so he can sneakily take the laptop away from her to properly lean over her and kiss her.

* Zen WILL get his cuddles and kisses. 

*Technology: 0, Zen: 1

JAEHEE:

* She’s a fellow workaholic so she completely understands MC’s need to focus-she’s the most supportive girlfriend, bringing MC coffee as she works, rubbing her shoulders if she’s been hunched over her computer for too long.

* Granted, once being an avid office worker herself, Jaehee knows when enough is enough, having MC take frequent breaks and eat proper meals. No neglecting self-care when Baehee’s around, nuh-uh!

* That being said, she’ll never really pout because MC isn’t giving her attention-even if she’s dying for a hug she’d never admit it, too embarassed to say so out loud.

* Until one night that is, 2 days before the party where MC is so focused on the flurry of last-minute e-mails the guests have sent, that she’s completely zoned in to her work, not noticing when the clock went well past-midnight.

* At first Jaehee quietly sat besides MC, working on some spreadsheets for the coffee shop, when she noticed the time-and how MC didn’t even look up even once, not even when Jaehee called out to her.

* “MC-” she started, “MC it’s late. Let’s go to bed.”

* MC simply shook her head, not even looking up. “You can go to bed first baby, I’ll join you later.”

* “MC-let’s both go to bed.”

* “Jaehee-”

* “I-” Jaehee started, looking away from MC who’d finally looked up from her work. “I can’t sleep-I can’t sleep without you. I suppose I’m too used to you beside me and...”

* She needn’t continue. MC was up in an instant, tugging Jaehee to their bedroom.

* This is as close to endearing as Jaehee will allow herself to be, and MC is NOT about to let this cuteness go to waste! Work can wait until the morning. 

JUMIN:

* He too is a known work-a-holic, and is actually great help when it comes to the party-he knows how to help MC maneuver around fussy guests and little mishaps, helping her plan it all to perfect detail.

* He’s not too upset at first when MC neglects him, focused more on the party than on him-in fact he’s very happy she’s so diligent, proud to call her his wife.

* As time went on however, Jumin felt more and more antsy-not even petting Elizabeth the 3d was enough, he still felt this odd, MC-shaped emptiness. 

* One evening he sat on the couch with MC beside him, her chin tucked onto her knees as she looked to her phone with an intense ferocity, typing away at yet another email.

* “Hm” Jumin hummed, “I find this rather odd.”

* “Hm? What’s odd?” MC asked, not looking up from her phone.

* Jumin sat there, looking to his glass of wine. “It’s been 13 hours and 45 minutes since the last time you’ve kissed me. This is odd-no, moreso, this is inexcusable. We must fix this immediatly.”

* MC grinned, putting down her phone as she shifted closer to Jumin.

* “And how do you propose we fix this?” she asked, her smirk a menace as she leaned closer to Jumin.

* “I can think of a few ways-shall I propose them to you?”

* MC was a breath away from his lips.

* “Please do.”

SEVEN/LUCIEL/SAEYOUNG:

* Sure he’s a goof, but he loves how diligent MC is, and respects her hard work so much-he’d hate to be the one to break her focus!

* So instead he quietly works away as MC sits besides him, typing with a flurry on her laptop, enough so that Saeyoung can’t help but wince sometimes as she pushes the keyboard buttons so hard it feels like she has a personal vendetta against them.

* He honestly never noticed how the hours flew by-and feeling her warmth next to him even in silence helped him get more work done than he ever managed to complete in one sitting without the presence of madam Vanderwood behind him lol

* But when he noticed that MC hasn’t even shifted her eyes away from her laptop for even a moment he knew he had to make her take a break. He’d hate if she ended up like him-what if her eyesight worsened? Or her neck got stiff because she’s hunched over that laptop?

* “Baby~ my honey bunny~ luz de mi vida~ moje med~ habibi~” he’d called out to her in every language he knew (only not really-he still has a couple more he’s saving for special occasions lol), only to be met with a frown and a raised brow from MC as she shifter her attention to him.

* “I love you!” he beamed, and ok, it’s impossible to stay mad at that cute smile-so MC simply rolled her eyes with a small grin. 

*“Mm, love you too-now let me get back to work Sae” she asked, but before she could shift her attention back to her computer, Saeyoung moved from his chair in a flush, dashing onto the couch she’d been sitting at, exchanging the laptop on her lap with-well, with himself.

* Sitting pretty on MC’s lap he wrapped his arms around her like a koala, nuzzling his face into her neck.

* “You’ve been neglecting your hero too much don’t you think? You’ve worked hard enough for today, now take your 707 to bed!”

* “Saeyoung-” MC started with a sigh “You’re heavy. I can’t lift you.”

* That made Saeyoung’s eye twinkle with mischief, a look MC was far too used to; before she could even utter ‘oh no’, Saeyoung got up, and with one smooth move, he had MC in his arms, holding her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

* “You can’t lift me, but I can lift you! And trust me I’ll be using that to it’s full~ advantage!” he grinned as he walked to the stairs with MC in tow. “Now off to bed we go!”

* Through his antics MC learnt to read between the lines; ‘im worried’, ‘you need rest’. How could she resist him when he’d been looking out for her in his own special way?

* So she let him take care of her, let him hold her by the waist as he slept with his face smooshed onto her back-and well, the guests could wait a few hours more before she answered to their pleas, now couldn’t they?

V/JIHYUN:

* Yes, it’s V, yes he’s super sweet, yes he’d be supportive of MC and her work-but let’s not forget that V is the leader of the RFA. He recognises how important MC’s role is, because he’s the one that gave her that role in the first place.

* He holds responsibility over her actions, so he’s the last person who’d try and distract her from her work. No, instead he’s twice as helpful, checking through every necessary thing with her, helping her answer demands from fussy guests, sharing some of the burden of calling and planning flower arrangements, catering and so forth. He’s the leader, and he’ll act like it, especially now that he can focus his undivided attention to the RFA.

* Sure, he misses lounging around with MC, being able to simply hold her close whilst watching old black and white movies, but that could wait.

* They’d transformed the living room into a make-shift office, papers scattered around the glass coffee table, MC sitting in front of the couch on the wooden floor with her laptop on the table-’it helps me stay focused’ she explained, and Jihyun didn’t argue it, merely brought some chair cushions to place on the floor so she could sit more comfortably.

* They’re the kind of silly couple that’d overwork themselves until they hear their stomachs growl, a reminder that they hadn’t eaten since morning and it’s now dark outside.

* With an awkward look to each other they’d laugh and take a break to cook something, still discussing the party even as they ate.

* Still, Jihyun would do his best to take care of MC’s health through it all, reminding her to drink water and eat well, even as he forgot to do so himself-but luckily MC did the same for him, and slowly they managed to fall into an easy rhythm of working and taking care of one another.

* At night as they lay in bed, MC is still typing away at her phone in the dark, checking her calendar and writing down any remidners needed for tomorrow’s work.

* In that moment, that’s when loneliness struck Jihyun. Laying besides her on his back, tilting his head to see her sitting cross legged on the bed, he pouted, stretching out his arm to poke MC on the thigh. 

* She simply responded with a grunt, her hair covering her face as she leaned over her phone. His frown deepening, Jihyun poked her again, and again until she turned to him with a questioning look.

* Jihyun didn’t say anything-merely extended his arms towards her making grabby fingers and exaggerating his pout until MC yielded with a laugh, putting her phone on the night stand to turn and huddle close onto Jihyun’s chest, hearing his relaxed sigh as she fit into his embrace.

* “Mm, that’s better” he whispered, trailing his fingers over her back, “I’d never want to distract you from your work-I’m thankful you’re putting in so much effort for the RFA but...I missed you” he admitted, earnign courage from the darkness of the room, the quietness saved from the hustle of the city outside.

* “I’ve been next to you the whole day baby” MC laughed, but Jihyun shook his head.

* He tugged her up to his face, kissed the tip of her nose, her lips. “Like this” he whispered, “I missed you like this.”

* He’s not a very vocal man when it comes to his emotions-so for him to reach the point of saying such a thing...well, MC has to make it up to him sOMEHOW. *wink wonk*

* And she did. *wink wonk intensifies*

SAERAN/RAY/UNKNOWN:

* It’s his first party as an official member of the RFA too, and he’s...honestly he just might be more stressed than MC lol.

* He’ll try his best not to show it, instead constantly asking MC if she needs any help, to the point that she had to shush him once as she made yet another typo in an email because of the distraction.

* So Saeran simply let her work on the couch as he sat beside her, fiddling with his own phone. He even opened up the RFA messenger a couple times, asking if anyone else needed any help-he knew that something deep in him was just trying to make up for all the things he’s done to hurt the RFA, a guilt that manifested itslef into over-willingness to help, but he couldn’t help it, needing to do something to prove himself.

* He rationally knew there’s no need to feel this guilt-after all in the end he’s the one that managed to help the RFA, finding his brother and saving the guests from Mint Eye’s plan in the party last year, but well, this and that are two different things.

* Either way, he felt furstrated, and looking at MC’s concentrated face didn’t help.

* So instead he decided to help in his own little ways; hiding away in the kitchen for a couple hours only to return with a fresh batch of chocolate chip cookies and warm tea, a fresh cut rose from the garden in one hand to leave like a little offering in front of MC; but she didn’t so much as look up from her laptop, too focused on her work.

* Saeran frowned, but didn’t try to distract her-instead he quietly put the cookies, tea and rose on the table, moving away before MC could so much as turn to look at him-though he doubted she would, too zoned in to even hear the clatter happening besides her.

* She only noticed a couple hours later, after the tea went cold, as she realised dusk had set, pink hues overtaking the sky-had she been working for so long? And Saeran, where is he-oh.

* On the arm chair next to the couch lay Saeran, his head tucked on his chin, resting on one side of the armchair with his eyes shut-only then did she turn and notice the cookies, the tea-the rose carefully placed behind her laptop...did he do all this for her?

* Gingerly MC got up, tiptoed around Saeran to pull out a blanket to cover him-the action must’ve roused him though, as his eyes fluttered open, catching MC as she unfolded the blanket.

* She smiled apologetically at him. “Sorry-I didn’t mean to wake you.”

* “And I didn’t mean to fall asleep” he said with a shake of his head, slowly moving to stretch as he extended his arms. 

* He noticed the pink sky, nodding to the balcony door. “Wanna take in some fresh air?”

* MC nodded, quietly following Saeran out to the balcony, grabbing a cookie from the plate first.

* She stood beside him as he leaned onto the railings, taking in the beauty of their little home-grown garden below, the chirping of birds in trees as they settled for the night to come. 

* MC cut the cookie in half, offering one part to him as she took a bite out of the other half.

* “I-I’m sorry, I never even noticed you made these. They’re delicious Saeran, thank you” she smiled.

* Saeran returned her smile with his own, brighter than the setting sun behind him. He clasped his hands around MC’s extended one, pushing it back to her chest. “I made them for you-I know you missed lunch so at least eating a snack could help you keep your energy levels up-um, I didn’t want to distract you but I wanted to help so...”

* MC shook her head, leaning up to place a kiss to the corner of Saeran’s lips, relishing in the pink blush on his cheeks, his nose.

* “You’re helping just by being besides me, thank you. I promise you this will be the best RFA party yet-I want you to enjoy it.”

* Seran’s smile grew wide. He looked to the woman he loved, the half cookie held near her chest, his heart fluttering.

* “I will. So long as you’re there with me, I will.”

* Anyway the moral of this story is IF YOUR BOYFRIEND MAKES YOU COOKIES DON’T IGNORE HIM. GIVE HIM A SMOOCH!!!! A SMOOCH MC!!!!!

-send me mystic messenger headcanons for character reactions-

-masterpost-

[tigerlover16-uk]

You and all the other people that enjoy anything about dragon ball super disgust me. You fake fans are enabling the ruination of Dragon Ball and you should all hate yourselves for DARING to think that garbage is as good as DBZ. Pathetic shill. You and all the other worthless, spoilt, brain dead scum need to get off the internet and stop worshipping garbage.

(Insert gif of Frieza sipping his wine)

I’ve left this and the other angry ask insulting me for liking Goku sitting around in my ask box for a while now, because I honestly didn’t have the energy or patience to deal with this nonsense at the time you left it here, and after that I just didn’t think an obvious troll was worth giving the time of day. But you know, whatever, I’m up for it right now.

First off, way to be ableist with the brain dead scum comment, that and all the comments about how us fans who like Super should hate ourselves make you sound VERY reasonable and intellectually superior. Bravo, good chap.

Second… explain how I’m a shill who “Worships” Super? True, I’m more positive about it than some people on this site, but that’s because I don’t really care to complain about the flaws in things I enjoy when I could instead be having fun with them. If it’s something I hate, like GT or the DCEU movies before Wonder Woman, then oh boy I’ll be harsh if I have to talk about them, but I do prefer to avoid talking about them lately unless I’m directly asked.

I’m not a person that cares for discourse. The times I do get involved I often end up saying stupid things and don’t handle it well, so I prefer to maintain a “look on the bright side attitude” where I can involving the things I like. And that includes Super. I think there’s honestly more than enough negativity directed at it by the vocal minority of fans who dislike the series already, so I don’t think I need to bother chiming in complaints when there are others who could do that, and I can instead be having fun and gushing about the things it does right (And yes, I believe it does plenty more right than bad).

But that doesn’t mean I think it’s perfect. I’ve been honest about the fact that the show is flawed plenty of times and I’m not afraid to comment on them where I have to. The animation in the second half of the Resurrection F arc was HORRIBLE. Majin Buu, even if I loved the fight with Basil and the fit Buu thing, has been shafted way too many times and it’s getting really annoying. Gohan’s character arc is progressing really well this saga, but it’s been annoyingly stretched out and inconsistent before that. And the ending to the Future Trunks saga, while I don’t find it irredeemably awful like some, was still nonsense.

I acknowledge that the show has flaws. It’s just that for the most part, I actually think the show is really fun to watch and does a lot of good things, and many of it’s issues have been ironed out over time especially with the current saga, and I think it still has a ton of potential going forward. So I just prefer to wait and see what comes next and enjoy myself now.

So I don’t let the flaws ruin Super for me, any more than I let the flaws with Z or the original Dragon Ball take away my love for those shows. Heck, if I did I would have cut my rewatch of og Dragon Ball last year short the minute I got to the horrific homophobia that was General Blue, the misogynistic gay pedophile drawn to look like a Nazi (Still the worst thing the franchise has ever done, by the way).

I think Dragon Ball Super is a good show, that does a lot of good worldbuilding, tells some fun stories, gives some interesting development to several of it’s characters like Krillin and Gohan, is usually very funny, has tons of adorable and touching moments, and while it’s action’s not as good as Z’s, it does have some great memorable fights here and there.

It’s not as good as Z, but I never expected it to be. Dragon Ball and Dragon Ball Z were a masterpiece, the kind of on the job miracle that only happens once in a lifetime, you can never fully recreate everything that made it so magical. And you don’t need to as long as you make something else that’s enjoyable in it’s own right with the property. I’m just glad I finally get to see more of these wonderful characters and this universe I love so much. And for now I’m pretty satisfied with that.

So no, pal, I’m not an entitled shill. That would require I put the show on a pedestal and declare it God’s gift to Dragon Ball while beating down any criticisms I find with unintelligible whinging. And clearly I don’t. I don’t agree with all the criticisms the show gets, but while I’ve occasionally said something stupid but then immediately apologized (Something I don’t expect from you at this point if you bother to read this anon), I don’t have an issue with people personally not enjoying it. Heck, I’m a guy who thinks Batman is an uninteresting character and the Dark Knight Movies were boring and awful, while liking the Star Wars Prequels more than the original trilogy, which I find just okay. We all have different tastes and opinions, who am I to judge.

You know what would make me a spoilt, entitled scumbag? Telling the people I disagree with that they’re worthless, disgusting fake fans and they should hate themselves for having the AUDACITY to like a fictional show! And trying to chase those people off the internet with petty ramblings in their personal space just so you don’t have to hear opinions you don’t like (Man, I’d hate to see how you react to political debates).

Also, how is Super “Ruining” Dragon Ball? Here’s the thing pal… Dragon Ball had a complete story. The manga is the only definitive canon in this franchise, and it ended two decades ago. The actual, classic story of Dragon Ball is complete, any other works based on it, whether people choose to view them as canon or not, are supplementary at best. It’s not actually possible to truly “Ruin” the franchise.

If anything, Super has helped in keeping the franchise from falling into relative obscurity, considering how in the latter half of the last decade Dragon Ball in general outside of it’s fandom (And in some cases, IN it’s own fandom) had become a bit of a laughing stock among much of the anime fandom and the internet. It’s been down to Kai, the Xenoverse games and other spin offs, the two Toriyama penned movies and yeah, even Super that the franchise has started getting more recognition again and more support. They’ve brought in new fans, and brought back many lapsed and casual fans.

And yes, that’s come with it’s own share of problems, particularly on the fandom side of things. But TFS is FAR more responsible for creating the toxic atmosphere of much of the modern Dragon Ball fandom, the toxic underbelly of which had been growing larger for years before Super debuted, so I don’t think it’s fair to blame Super specifically for the fandoms current state when at worst it’s responsible for bringing back a flood of casuals who absentmindedly buy into fandom stereotypes a little too heavily. The current atmosphere of the fandom would have been largely as bad whatever the quality or kind of new show we got.

So no, I don’t think Super has “Ruined” the franchise any more than GT did years ago. Anyone who wants to argue that Super ruined Dragon Ball for them as a whole is either being melodramatic, taking it too seriously, or maybe even never cared about Dragon Ball beyond being a casual fan in the first place.

I mean, I still love Spider-man even despite the abomination that is One More Day, and I’m still watching Boruto despite hating the majority of Naruto Shippuden with a burning passion. And I didn’t let GT lessen my love for the Dragon Ball franchise in the slightest, if anything it just made me appreciate the stuff I love about it instead a lot more.

If anything is ruining the Dragon Ball franchise for people, it’s jerks like you who feel the need to attack and insult people for liking stuff about it that you don’t. You’re no better than the scummy anons who harass the Gochi fans on here, or the people who constantly lie about, demonize and demean Goku’s character to prop up and shill other characters like Vegeta and Piccolo, when it’s completely unnecessary and stupid to try and undermine other characters to prop up others who are already great on their own.

It’s okay if you don’t like the show. I’m sorry if you feel it’s somehow ruining Dragon ball for YOU specifically, and I encourage you to go back and watch the previous series to remember WHY you like Dragon Ball so much. But buddy… NOTHING gives you the right to act like a ravenous jerka## to the people who DO enjoy it. Screw off with that elitist, childish nonsense and grow the (Bleep) up, child!!

This goes to EVERYONE who’s feeling even the slightest bit resentful to the people who are having fun with Super, or any other base breaking series connected to a franchise a lot of people like (Did I mention I prefer the 3D era Sonic games to the genesis classics? Oh boy, do I not get along with the Sonic fandom). You not liking it doesn’t make you superior to other people, nor does it make you objectively right while everyone else is just a moronic fake fan. to heck with that line of thinking.

I could go on, but it’s late and I’m tired and you’re not worth any more effort than I’ve already spent here, anon. Don’t bother coming back into my inbox with this nonsense unless you want to do the mature, adult thing (Assuming you’re an adult, and not a kid) and apologize. Good night.

[lastgeeksdying]

On the twelve Friday the 13th films

I recently rewatched or watched for the first time all of the F13 movies.  Here's what I thought. On Part 1: The ending is a cool twist on expectations, even today.  Most folks go into this film still expecting Jason Vorhees and instead are shocked.  If they get that far.  Because this movie is super garbage otherwise.   Poorly written, poorly edited, it looks like it's from the early 70's but instead is from the 80's.  The movie goes out of it's way to make you hate most of the characters.   On Part 2: A remix of the first film, trying to make a sequel to a really strange final moment.  Lumberjack/Baghead/KKK Jason here is the where his personality seems maluable, but you can see the seeds of him starting to become the Silly theatrical maniac that would come on display as we go.   On Part 3: If the first film is laughable bad for it's low budget, this is laughable for how big it's budget is and how much time is wasted on shitty 3D effects.  But Jason with a Harpoon gun is choice.   On Part 4: Solid. Because it felt like it was going to be the last Jason movie, it did a good job creating the world of Crystal Lake and bringing it to a close. It also cautiously set up sequels.  Corey Feldman did a good job for a child actor.   On Part 5: Interesting ideas with Characters as developed as the first few films so...actually underrated. I think this film gets a lot of hate because SPOILERS the killer isn't Jason.  Much Like Halloween III, Every character that isn't Tommy, is laughably bad.  I think a really good reboot could do Tommy's arc justice.  If a writer was careful.  This also feels like the point where the series is taking itself less seriously.  This may be because it's become a cash grab annual franchise, but I think it gives the franchise a soul.  It's not a dark a gritty series anymore.  It's not Low Rent Halloween, but it's not the campy gore-fest of Nightmare on Elm Street. It's exactly where I want it to be.   On Part six: Great. If my favorite Jason movie didn't exist, this would be it.  It takes every trope established in the franchise up to this point and nails them.  It has Tommy come back and not pay off the ending of Part 5 since audiences hated that, and instead has been have a break down and create the thing he hates.  It's when the series moves from silly, but maybe real to Supernatural Killer.  I feel like every idea non-fans have of the character of Jason comes from this movie.  My only complaint is that his costume isn't as cool as the one in 7.   On Part Seven: The last act is cool.  Otherwise this movie just trots along at a slow pace.  Nothing super exciting happens, even with a telekinetic main character.  This was originially conceived as a Carrie vs Jason movie, but they couldn't get the rights.  Which is likely for the best considering how they handled Tina's backstory here.  But it'd be funny to use this movie as a launch pad for continuing Carries rain of destruction.  But the last 20-30 minutes are worth the wait.  Once Tina starts cutting loose with her powers, suddenly Jason has a real adversary that he can go toe to toe with.     On Takes Manhattan: Half good, half a joke So the funny story about this movie, go watch the trailer.  It's all this is a movie set in new york. You know this is new york.  And here's shots of Jason on a street!  Here's Jason on a Subway.   For anyone whose seen the movie, they laugh at the trailer.  Because it's actually set on a "cruise" ship that passes by Crystal Lake on it's way to New York.  It's 2/3rds of the film before they reach New York.  Then it's about 2/3rds of the time remaining on the docks and the warehouses there.  Including a really gross and needless mugging, drugging, and attempted rape scene.  The last third spends most of it's time getting from the docks, to downtown New York, onto a Subway, and then into the Sewers.  The last 10ish minutes are in the Sewers and Jason dies in the stupidiest, most non-sensical way.   Now, this is the part where I say something that sounds silly.  The stuff on the boat?   Actually feels like Jason and the Friday the Thirteenth movies.  The stuff in New York?  So bad, and such a joke...which leads us to...   On Jason Goes to Hell: Hated it.  Don't do it. This is the worst film in the franchise.  This is a film that is trying way way too hard to take itself seriously and make Jason scary again.  It loses all of the fun of the previous movies and it just falls apart.   It's way too late to try to go back. It's plot is nonsensical.  Long Story Short:  Jason gets tricked by the FBI who blow his body up.  Then via MAGIC(???) or something it's discovered in the dumbest way possible that Jason isn't just Supernatural, but a demon.  And it's the dumbest fucking thing.  The coroner examining Jason's body is maybe compelled by the heart, maybe he's just crazy, to eat Jason's heart.  This transfers Jason from his exploded body into the coroner's body.  Now he can run around and kill people, and as his new body is dying he has to change into a new person. Yeah, it's a body swaping movie that feels like they just reshot a huge chunk of the movie to take a generic horror movie and make it about Jason.  And surprise, it was heavily reshot and edited and changed by the producer/franchise creator because the lead actress walked off set and the director had to be let go with days of filming still to go.  And then later they went back and filmed more.  So about 60 percent of the movie was done after the principle filming.   This gets worse when you get to the fact that there was a secret Vorhees sister who had a daughter who had a daughter.  The Sister is killed and now Jason is hunting the Daughter and her daughter.  But it's not a Michael Myers situation.  It's because of a shitty prophecy that Jason can reborn his original body by using a blood relatives body.   At the end of the film, Jason breaks out of his body as a demon creature, and it looks really bad.  Eventually he uses the body the dead sister (He didn't use the sister earlier because the writers had thought of that plot line yet.  There were three writers, can you tell?).  Jason is reborn, there is another prophecy about only a Vorhees can kill a Vorhees so Jason's niece stabs Jason witha  magic knife and he gets pulled into hell.  Then big suprise ending moment.   The surprise ending moment is that Freddy Krugars claw comes out of the ground and Freddy Laughs.  At this point, they were trying hard to get a Freddy Vs Jason movie, but hadn't nailed the rights yet.  This will lead to them making Jason X.   The one redeeming moment is that they used a prop from another movie as just a creepy book in the Vorhees house.  But for fans it is the Necronomicon from Evil Dead.  Which lead to a comic of Freddy Vs Jason Vs Ash.   On Jason X: Loved it.  Jason X is my favorite film in the franchise.  If Jason goes to Hell takes itself too seriously, Jason X understands how campy it needs to be and what a scifi movie needs to be.  There are characters I genuinely like and am saddened when they die.  There are surprises for someone who hadn't watched it in years.  You can tell that these were fans of Alien and Aliens and wanted to Mash them together with the previous core Jason concepts.  And by doing so it creates magic.   It also has a cool premise about the idea that Jason in the future isn't unstoppable, but he is tough.  They stop him, and then in the fifth act twist, space science accidentally gives him an upgrade and he becomes Uber Jason, who crashes on Earth 2.  I don't want to ruin anything else about the movie, but this is the movie with the best line.   "Hey guys, it's fine!  He just wanted his machete back!"  And not only is it a great line, it actually works in context and creates a hilarious but terrifying moment.   On Freddy Vs Jason: It's so bad.  And it's a shame because there is bare concept that's good.   The idea that Freddy has been forgotten.  That the town banded together to try and stop him from existing by blocking thoughts and dreams of him and redacting everything possible, that's neat.   The film is missing elements that are key to making it work.  The first thing is the teens. They are all shitlords and totally not worth your time.  The "Good" Characters are both flimsy at best, but also not really likable.   Characters don't make dumb choices, the writers drop bad ideas into their heads because they want certain scenes or plot.  The entire plot involving dream suppressing drugs feels like it is going to be important, but by the midpoint, the film has tossed it out.   Freddy has always been a pretty garbage and had traded entirely on gore and Robert Englund's performance.  Here he makes dumb decision after dumb decision.  And it's just...you know, I don't even care.   What really pushed this movie into almost Goes to Hell bad is it's portrayal of Jason.   This Jason has no personality.  He's a big killy monster who wants to kill. He doesn't have any of the theatrics that make Jason interesting to watch.  He doesn't have the weird teleports or the brutal kills.  He's boring here.  And then they gave him a weakness.  They handed him a water phobia.  Which doesn't fit the character or the continuity.  He Looks like a Jason Cosplayer and has the scripting of one.  It's bad, and mostly unforgivable.   The redeeming element of this movie is that there are ideas here that are interesting, but so much of it is mishandled by bad direction and bad writing that it just becomes a shame.   On the Remake: I appreciate that the used the film to try and pay homage to what little plot exists in the first three films.  Let's show the mom is a killer.   Let's show him do some kills with the bag on his head.  Let's have him find the mask after his bag is damaged.  And that's the first 40 minutes.  It is almost like they knew they a modern audience could take just one of those films plots and they really wanted to speed it up.   It even feels like they want to create a Tommy Jarvis like anti-Jason in the form of the very tall Jared Padelecki.   It's important to remember this is a new Jason, and a new world.  And I am okay with that.  But the writing feels too on the nose.  It gives character traits to people that are going to die, and character missions for characters who will survive.   I don't hate this new Jason.  I want to know why he grows weed and doesn't want to let anyone near it.  That's really weird.  But overall the film does some brutal kills.  It has nudity for nudity sake.  It has drug use.  It has virginal characters.  It has the killer.  It has the teens (Who are campers instead of counselors which annoys me but whatever).  And even has a smidge of heart.  I just feel like the film could have been tighter.  The flashback about Pamela should have been saved as a Camp Fire story flashback.  And the first group of Campers should have been killed off much faster.  The film spends a solid fifteen minutes with them, when it should have been five.   The biggest missed opportunity here is that it is trying to be serious again, and it needed to embrace the camp.  There is a part where a character walks off and starts singing with his ipod to Sister Christian.  This should have lead into a montage where Jason kills those five to that song.   Ultimately, there were only a few I will ever go back to.  And only one I'd tell people is worth the time to watch if you like comedy/horror(Jason X rules!) Don't worry guys, he just wanted his Machete back!

[ostermahaus]

It’s Morphin’ Time!  Eventually... Power Rangers Review

Saban’s Power Rangers opens darkly.  You see a blasted torn up landscape of prehistoric Earth with the Red Ranger dragging himself across it, obviously injured.  He crawls to the Yellow Ranger, also lying prone who morphs into an alien and hands her coin to him, telling him to hide it before dying in his arms.  Yikes.  He morphs into Zordon (Bryan Cranston) and puts his coin with the others he’s carrying, instructing Alpha via communicator to fire a meteorite at his current location.  He turns to find himself face to face with a female Green Ranger named Rita (Elizabeth Banks) who he accuses of being a traitor and killing his team.  She boasts that she’s won when Zordon informs her it’s too late and a meteor comes crashing down on them sending her to the bottom of the sea.  Also wiping out the dinosaurs, I presume.  I guess nuking from orbit was the only way to be sure. Smash cut to a bunch of jocks leading a bull into a locker room as a prank and we meet Jason Scott (Dacre Montgomery) who informs us that he calmed the cow down by milking it.  Womp womp.  Your protagonist can’t tell an udder from a dong, not a great start.  The cops show up and after the most nausea inducing go-pro car chase I’ve ever encountered (Seriously, I saw Gravity on the UltraScreen in 3D and this almost made me vomit) he gets in a horrific wreck and we have a title screen. Go go Power Rangers?  If you never watched the show this may seem exciting.  If you did, well here’s why it might not be what you were expecting.

 Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers hit children in 1993 with a blast of popularity that overpowered the Ninja Turtles and kept kids riveted until Pokemon came along at the end of the decade!  A Japanese import, it was cheesy, silly, campy and formulaic and pre-teens ate it up!  As well as some teens.  I was just hitting the age where I felt like I was outgrowing Saturday morning/after school shows (Thank God that phase didn’t last) so I was never a die hard fan, but I knew enough people that were that I kept abreast of the original shows run.  I watched a fair number of episodes with my friends more due to our love of riffing it a la Mystery Science Theater 3000 than anything else…  Although I will admit that Kimberly (Amy Jo Johnson)  kept me on board a bit as well.  The premise was simple.  Five teenagers from Angel Grove are given magic coins that allow them to morph into Power Rangers.  Spandex clad ninjas with full coverage helmets who can summon robot dinosaurs called Zords and merge them Voltron style into a giant Mega Zord to win the day.  They answer to Zordon, a giant holographic head, and fight the monsters that Rita Repulsa repeatedly sends down from the moon.  Ninjas, dinosaurs and giant robots.  It was famous for the obvious cut between the American actors doing their day to day thing and the original Japanese footage being used once they were in costume.  Ever wonder why Kimberly was the only Ranger wearing a skirt?  Because the Yellow Ranger in that Japanese footage is a dude.  (The more you know!)  That’s all you needed and it’s still on the air in some iteration to this day!  Why mess with a good thing?  If it’s not broke, right?

 Unfortunately Hollywood is following a current and overused trend of trying to make things dark and gritty when they reboot them right now.  That’s not to say it can’t work, but it really feels like a forced excutive decision by the movie companies some times.  This new Power Rangers update has a lot of things that work really well for it as they try to make a serious and less campy approach to one of the most popular cheese fests ever.  They also make some big missteps.  I know that Zordon famously asked for “teenagers with attitude” in the original and wound up with the nicest kids in town, but this version makes an over correction by having three of them meet in detention and one of them just not go to school at all.  Turns out Jason has to wear an ankle bracelet now and report to detention for the rest of the year and lost all sorts of football scholarships.  As soon as he walks in he sees Billy (RJ Cyler) being bullied for OCD behavior arranging things on his desk.  Jason puts a stop to it and Billy immediately declares him his new best friend for sticking up for him!  I really liked Billy in this movie, but they make a very clear point early on to have him state that he’s on the autism spectrum and they play it pretty well until he becomes a Ranger.  Then it just seems to disappear and he’s merely giddy all the time.  He’s adorkable, sure, and probably the most likeable character but it would have been nice to see them stick to his spectrum tendencies.  Jason is fairly dismissive until he offers to use his skills to hack Jason’s ankle bracelet in order for them to hang out.  How all true friendships begin!

 Next we meet Kimberly Heart (Naomi Scott) who was set up by her cheerleader ‘friends’ for an incriminating picture that’s been circulating around school and they show up to inform her that she no longer gets to be a plastic.  It makes her so angry that she gives herself a kicky new haircut in the bathroom that Jason is immediately smitten by when she returns from the restroom!  After Billy hacks the ankle device, he and Jason go into a restricted area of the gold mine outside Angel Grove because apparently Billy likes to blast there.  Even though it’s an active mine with security.  Shrug  While Billy is setting his charges, Jason goes off to hike around and spies Kimberly cliff diving while We get Zack (Ludi Lin) and Trini (Becky G.) dropped in as just random kids who are also hanging out in an active work zone after dark.  Her to practice her Karate Kid poses and him to watch her through binoculars.  Like you do.  Anyway, Billy’s blast draws them all and they discover 5 glowing coins embedded in the rock.  After cutting them out, they each grab one and then alarms go off, summoning security and another slightly less vomit inducing chase that AGAIN ends in a horrific crash, this time with a train.  The next morning they all wake up at home with no injuries and no knowledge of how they survived the wreck, plus sick abs and super strength!  Wanna know how they managed that without being seen?  Or what Billy’s mom’s reaction is to the destruction of HER van?  (You see the wreck later on being pulled off the tracks)  You’re out of luck!  Anyway, they get together and decide to go back to try to find answers about the coins and discover a buried spaceship manned by Alpha 5 (Bill Hader) and Zordon’s memory in the ship’s computer.  He informs them that they’re the Power Rangers and they need to learn to defend the universe once they can learn to morph!  Eventually…

 I don’t know if it came with the casting of Bryan Cranston but the biggest drawback of this film is that at 2 hours almost every minute of the Rangers suited up has been shown in the trailers because it only happens in the films final action scene, similar to my beef with Godzilla not having enough Godzilla.  There are training montages aplenty and I really did appreciate the effort it made to give the core cast some substance behind there characters that wasn’t there before, but it’s pace could best be described as deliberate.  The film seems to work the best when it’s trying to have some fun and not brooding so much, which is all too often.  The scene of all the nerd kids idolizing Billy after he knocks out a bully without trying and then being in awe when he gets pulled from the table by Kimberly?  Great!  Fun little scene, use more moments like that as opposed to repeated instances of people mispronouncing Trini as DeeDee.  ???  I assume it’s a joke but I just don’t get it and boy do they keep pushing it.  I wish they had done more with Zack as he had a lot of potential in his backstory.  He doesn’t attend school any more because you find out he’s caring for his terminally ill mother but aside from that reveal he just gets all the “I’m gonna shout quips!” style lines.  Don’t try taking a drink every time he calls Trini “Crazy Girl”, it won’t end well.  Jason is fine in his role as the leader, but as is the curse of the leader role (Cyclops, Leonardo), is pretty bland.  Kimberly and Trini are both solid female role models although I wish they would have come right out with Trini’s sexuality/crush on Kimberly rather than just heavily alluding to it.  Although I was disappointed by him dropping the autism traits halfway through, I thought Billy in the second half was the most relatable character.  He’s just so giddy every time they bring up the fact they get to be Rangers!

 I was not a fan of the design choices for Alpha and the Zords.  Alpha was thankfully less obnoxious than the original, but his super long arms on the tiny body just looked weird and creepy.  Props to Hader for making me not hate him!  The Zords…  I couldn’t tell what I was looking at.  I’ll be honest, aside from the T-Rex and the Pterodactyl they could have been anything.  I had to go online after the movie because I couldn’t remember if the Triceratops was Blue or Black because I couldn’t tell them apart.  Turns out it’s Blue.  For as many montages as we were dealt and given the movies run time, I’d have preferred to see them learning their suits and Zords right off the bat as opposed to trying and failing to Morph a half dozen times and then finally getting it right just in time for the final battle where they go in operating things they’ve never used before.  I know I’m overthinking it, but I hate when people just innately know how to use things like that.

 Lastly we come to the villains.  I’ve got really mixed feelings on this part.  I appreciate they wanted to take it more seriously, and I like what they did with Rita but DAMN.  They may have made her a bit too intense for the audience that’s generally associated with Power Rangers!  Banks is great and and she is wonderfully creepy and terrifying but there is a scene where she’s killed some police officers and you see that she’s ripped the teeth out of one and has dismembered/is CANNIBALIZING the other.  This is while she’s still in her slightly mummified state after a fishing boat pulls up her body and it’s horror movie levels of creepy as she gets her power back to create Goldar.  Because he’s made of gold, see?  I don’t quite get her power set because at first she’s brutally murdering people for their gold, then eating it (WTF?) then just pointing at it and drawing it to her in liquid form.  At least she gets to say “Make my monster grow.”

 Overall, it’s not bad.  It’s not as action packed as you’d expect, but what references do show up are all well placed and fun.  You get some cameos and throwback lines.  Ay-yi-yi and what not.  My favorite reference was when two boys were arguing who got to be the Red Ranger while they’re playing and Trini tells them, “Why not Yellow?”  “That’s a girl!”  “How do you know?”  lol  Love the message and the nod to the original Yellow I mentioned earlier, but unfortunately undercut by the obvious sculpted boob armor on Pink and Yellow…  Best moment, bar none, was when they played the original theme.  Unfortunately it’s just one refrain then back to generic orchestration, but the theater I was in was electrified when it came on!  I’m not made of stone, that riff is freaking amazing.  You could tell everyone was a bit bummed when it didn’t continue throughout the fight.  As usual anymore, stay through the credits.  There’s a mid credit scene that I’m pretty sure you’ll be able to call before it happens but it’s there.  LOL at the guys behind me talking loudly throughout the film complaining about the very thing the scene was about and leaving before it happened.  That’s what you get for being terrible movie attendants!  If you were a fan of the show as a kid, I think you’ll have a great time!  If you’re bringing your kids because of how much YOU loved it…  Just be aware it gets really dark and creepy in places and might move a bit slow if they have to wait over 90 minutes to see any Morphin’ Time.