#thus why i've noticed this question in quizzes

[mai-komagata]

last reblog about the autistic kid

one thing i never check in "are you autistic" quizzes is "do you like routine" b/c i don't like routine. I find it boring. I like traveling and doing random things today and not doing all the boring repetitive chores. But! i do like knowing what will happen when. I like 30 min warnings for things. I want to see the hiking trail map before we go. I like being able to rehearse scripts and interactions in my head ahead of time. I want to know the order things will happen and when. I don't want boring same every time sex but i want to know what we are doing beforehand (maybe this is why bdsm appeals). We can do a last minute thing, just let me context switch appropriately. Anyway, the story had the parents being like "this kid cannot do anything without a routine" and the babysitter is like "i just needed to let them know things were happening with some warning". And like, yeah, if people refuse to give you warnings you resort to routines b/c its better than being surprised. Like maybe "autistics desire routine" is more like "autistics desire being able to emotionally prepare for the day, and routine is a convenient way to do that, vs actually giving them agency or communicating."

[firstginger]

Boy howdy, I'd love a reading!! Love the way you think/write you quizzes, so it would be a treat!

goodness sorry this took so long, i actually accidentally deleted it (thanks tumblr) and just had a moment of downtime again!

the palace ○ the zenith ○ the figure by the fire

in a kingdom far off, there rested a palace surrounded by the high peaks of the mountain range — an insurmountable task to either come or go, and thus the palace's people had long forgotten any wonder of the world beyond. not until the era of the young noblewoman, a patrician of most quiet strength, who often looked to the stars and noticed lines of smoke that webbed them after the sun had set. what could they be, she wondered, and for some they told her clouds and for others they said bird wings and for others they declared they did not see it at all. but the smoke and its maker would not let her rest, and thus the woman set her in heart that she would be the one to climb the mountains again.

all of her station gathered to see her go, for they thought assuredly it would be the last they would see of her. there was nothing on the other side, and if there was, it was nothing but lonely cruelty and an empty land. as she climbed the summit, the noblewoman knew they were wrong, and that all the gold of her inheritance could not rival the knowledge of things unknown. the rocks wore her boots thin and the fine clothes she wore became ripped; her lips chapped until they bled and her nose stung itself rosy. but at last she reached the peak and, for the first time, she could see the horizon in a beautiful ring around her, beyond where her eyes could reach. as the sun set behind the palace that once was her home, she saw the smoke dance into the sky, no longer so far away. she looked to the world beyond the mountains and saw neither clouds nor birds but the glow of embers in the foothills beyond the summit's slopes.

the noblewoman was elated, and with all of her strength she set down the other side. she walked and walked until she could smell the smoke for once, a scent both familiar and foreign, and it set her mind to wonder what sort of man might live in this land beyond. was he massive, or sharp-toothed? perhaps he could graze like wild horses and never become hungry, or perhaps even he had grown wings like the birds that came across the mountains to nest in the palace steeples. the hills' trees parted as she came closer and closer, questions pounding in her temples. and at last! the breath of fire was before her. despite her tired feet and aching nose she ran, legs moving in a dream towards the silhouettes and shadows that played against the shrubbery, towards where a hunched figure sat by the fireside.

in the flame's light, the noblewoman could see his face. his face was bright red from the wind and his hair untended; his clothes were made of cotton and torn. he regarded her for a moment and then gestured to the log beside him to sit as would a friend. do you not know how far i've come to see you? the woman nearly shouted. do you not know the things i have left behind? would you not ask who i am? but as she thought this, she lifted a hand with dirty nails to her broken lips, and she realized that neither of them had any reason to wonder.

so the noblewoman sat and in the silence she stoked the fire, and the rising smoke made constellations among stars that were never fated to meet.

the palace actually came out while i was shuffling, a sign that this is the quintessential origin of your journey. the palace card is the ego, dealing with balancing the desires of the self with the external world. for this reason, it can symbolize both luxurious pleasure or strong authority.

the zenith is the apex card, the culmination and coming full circle — hence why it's interesting that it appears in the middle of your story. from its peak it can look down upon both the palace and the figure by the fire, suggesting perhaps reflection or a crossroads.

the figure by the fire, in contrast to the palace, rests alone and is the card of well-needed isolation. this card invites you to become more in touch with your own strength or desires. it is time to take things slow, to contemplate and enjoy your quiet solitude.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

I don't think there's any tw except for the medical process of diagnosis and math, I need advice.

I've talked to you before, and in case I do again, I'll be signing off as Rosie.

I've been experiencing a lot of issues around math. Symbols will be floating around in my mind, unable to be grasped. They'll get flipped and switched around, and I often have trouble understanding basic rules of charts (specifically increasing/decreasing lines and exponential functions). I think I may have dyscalculia but I haven't always experienced this and I used to be in a gifted program in part due to my excelling in math exams (I've always been horrible at homework and quizzes, state assessments were always carrying my grade).

The thing is, I'm currently in the long process of diagnosis for autism, I recently brought up my PTSD symptoms with my doctor, and I was just put on some meds for my hallucinations (they're working well thus far!). I'm worried that with this on top of everything else, my parents won't believe me.

I'm tempted to wait until I can't take being unable to grasp simple symbols I've known since I was 5 and I have a breakdown big enough that my parents notice and can get me into the doctor without me asking first and to have immediate belief in my issues, but I also don't want to degrade my mental health to the point of severe breakdown just to get some supports.

I also go to an alternative school that doesn't have a math class, we use an online system that is very inflexible especially when it comes to learning disorders. I have a friend who has a math disability and has a 504 plan saying that she needs to have only multiple choice questions, and yet almost every question she has to answer isn't multiple choice because of the system and the math she's doing. I don't know, even if I got an official diagnosis of what's going wrong, that I would be provided the needed supports.

Thank you for answering this ask when you can, I hope you have a lovely day.

- Rosie (they/it)

Hey Rosie,

I'm sorry this ask has been in our inbox for a while. You deserve to be believed, heard, and helped.

My opinion is that you should try to seek accommodations. Try to be assertive and don't let them dismiss you. You could make a doctor's appointment yourself as well.

Try to stay calm when talking about it and ask them why they think you're lying. Having everything out in the open leaves less room for manipulation.

Things like PTSD can influence concentration, memory, and other mental faculties.

Do followers have more input?

- Misa