#tik tok learn to read between the line

[smorkulon]

I tried to compact my thoughts about Yukio into a sentence but there's so much to say that I can barely get my point across with such little space 😩

Old and new fans alike keep overlooking Yukio because "He tried to kill Rin!!" And sure, the way he acts is bad but... He's just depressed and has no one to rely on. Lashing out is pretty normal in this case, it's the only way he knows how to act, considering that he's been raised in a violent environment (he was taught to KILL at fucking seven, c'mon) he only knows how to be agressive, not look for help.

It's honestly amazinf how long he held out his urge to just go insane. He's been expected to be calm, collected and protect his brother since he was a child, plus he's been seen — more like he's always seen himself — as weaker than Rin despite the fact that he's the one with 9+ years of experience.

Also, I'm like 99% that Yukio knew that no matter what he does, he can't kill Rin so even if he shot him, it wouldn't do anything.

[angry-teacher-says-fuck]

A foul-mouthed teacher's take on Gen Alpha

Can we stop saying that gen alpha is DOOMED?! They just fucking got here!

fucksake, they just hit sixth grade. We are registering the warning signs right now; the lack of respect or empathy, the inability to read , the need for instant gratification OR ELSE, and don't get me started on this Sephora bullshit. Yeah, it's looking pretty bad.

The fact is though, we are their skibidi gyatdamn parents! This is our wakeup call to do better. So here's a list of a few things that might improve the situation.

If you've got a younger child, please do not get them on an i-pad until they are at least 4. Even as an educational tool, they are no replacement for the hands-on and interpersonal learning that their developing brain needs. Talk to them, give them blocks and balls and plenty of things that they can safely place in their mouths. These things help them build a deeper understanding of the world that later social skills and academic stuff can anchor to. At pre-school a little supervised and directed exposure to educational programs can be a good supplement, but do not leave them to use screens feely. As they get into middle school, you should still be aware. There are a lot of dangers on there that tweens don't have the experience yet to recognize and it's a lot wierder than you think.

2. On that note, If you must put them in front of the TV (no shame, it has to happen from time to time in this late-stage capitalist hellscape) for the love of fuck, please pay attention to what they are watching! I cannot begin to tell you, as a teacher, what a difference this can make. Don't trust that everything on Nick jr or Disney is your friend no matter how colorful or silly it looks. Watch a couple episodes either on your own or with them to determine if it has substance or if its values are ones you are ready to expose your children to (I was shocked when I sat down to watch the original Thomas the Tank Engine).

I'll do another post on shows I recommend sometime but as a teacher, PLEASE let most of their TV time be PBS Kids. I shit you not, I can tell the difference between the kids that primarily watched Paw Patrol and the kids that watched Dinosaur Train.

For younger kids, violence is a no, for sure; their brains are still developing and no matter how smart they are, a toddler is not prepared to process whatever nuance you as an adult may have the context for. You don't want to normalize it.

The same goes for adult humor. I have had to send too many kids to the office because of a racial slur or sexist comment that they pulled straight from Southpark or Family Guy. That shit should not be happening!

3. From obscure, seemingly cutesie philosophies that turn out to be cults, to the fucking manosphere and any number of hate-groups that have perfected the art of planting-the-seed with kids, you need to keep them off social media, including Tik-tok and Youtube. There are parenting aps that can block these and limit screen time, but even they cannot be used as a "set it and forget it" solution.

4. Failing all of this, the most important thing you can do for your kids may be to actually converse with them. Sit and watch some shows with them, listen to their interests, let them talk your ear off about their favorite game. Normalize them sharing with you and do this as early as possible. The benefits are numerouse

A. It opens up the lines of communication. You can identify trouble a lot faster and support their goals a lot easier when you have this going for you.

B. It establishes early that you are a safe person to share things with. This is invaluable as they get older, and for keeping them safe at any age.

C. It gives them a chance to utilize RECALL PRACTICE. this is an often overlooked brain booster, but recalling information so they can share it with you, actively helps gear their developing brain for future learning by making it easier for them to call on and access information at will.

D. It builds confidence When you take time to listen to them, you are showing them that their input is valuable; that the things that interest them are worth sharing. There may be times when it is not appropriate, and you can guide them on that, but giving them the respect of listening when you can will help them recognize their worth when future "friends", colleagues, and partners consistently dismiss them or shame them for it.

E. It builds socio/emotional intelligence and models respectful dialogue.

5. Read to them and with them. Even if you aren't a reader, listen to audio-books. Give them a chance to practice their reading skills and comprehension. Normalize the idea that reading is enjoyable.

5. Finally, understand this: you are not being an authoritarian when you set rules and enforce them. They are going to test boundaries, not because they are bad, not because they crave a lack of restriction, but because they need to know that they are there in order to feel secure. There are as many new fads for parenting as there are diets, but whatever parenting style you choose, be firm and consistent with your core rules and principles. your kids, and the people who have to interact with them, will be better off for it.

And cut yourself a bit of slack too. Parenting is tricky, and there are new challenges we are having to learn quickly as we go. It doesn't help that our generation caught so much shit, but we cannot simultaneously be parents AND continue to be victims. Seek out support, and give it whenever you can. We have to recognize our worth and our importance to this generation and take a stand now for their well being.

You are their parent and you play a very needed, active role in their lives.

[1centillion]

Reading internet fights doesnt have to be an internet activity that rots you (ie doom scrolling, falling into the tiktok algorithm hole, etc). Reading internet fights can light up your brain in a similar way to reading a newspaper article or playing a computer game from when you were 8.

The key is to read the good ones where people are arguing really niche topics but both sides (no matter how well or mis informed) take the time to explain the proofs of their conclusions. Like they write out the math of what theyre arguing. Because when someones wrong, this style of argument lets someone else cut them down by pointing out faulty premises or pointing out non sequiturs. When you can read the thinking processes of each side it feels better taking a side because you just saw all the work theyre doing to get to there. Reading good internet arguments can be different from falling in a tik tok hole because the serotonin feels likes its sourced from developing my thinking skills (vs receiving it from being shown something new every 8.7 seconds).

Internet arguments are bad and make me feel like im j watching a car wreck (engages you but not for a good reason) when they give me undeserved credit. Such fights include but sre not limited to (from most to least readable) people debating a proper ranking of priorities or thingd, (and this is one full tier below Ranking Arguments, usually) logical fallacies, introducing tangentially related but ultimately off topic arguments, generalized blanket statements, making statements that are j truly objectively wrong observations about material reality

Cherry on top is when a the Cool Arguer hits all the thoughts you were thinking when reading an Uncool Persons comment AND adds something you didnt think of (learning!) The cherry on top of that cherry is seeing Uncool Arguer get ratioed.

Its important to remember that even tho internet fights dont always have to be soul sucking, even the best of them are only the equivalent to drinking orange juice from Ralphs (idk if this is the most equivalent comparison but im too lazy to think of the right one). Its not soda, it probably wont do too much harm if you have some for brekkie every so often. Definitely shouldnt be drinking it everyday when theres water and teas and seltzer water around. You wont be the microbiome or kind person you want to be on OJ and internet fights.

And this is because 1) you do not want to be a person who has a habit of deriving entertainment from the conflict between others and 2) especially so when theyre arguing over a cause important to you. Example: if theyre arguing about transmisogyny, at the end of the day we want to get rid of transmisogny because 'transmisogyny is an issue you care about because you love trans women *not* because you want transmisogynists to be wrong' (thats j the fun perk). But internet fights abt transmisogmy can only exist if transmisogny exists! So letting those internet arguments become fodder for your attention or a source of receiving joy from the internet is not productive to the true end goal and cause you care for. *And* you dont want to revel in the by products of transmisogyny bc its just gross! Best relationship to good internet fights is 'phew! Comforting to know theres other people who reason things out in the same steps i do! no man is an island!'

not sure if this line of reasoning can be applied to good internet fights on topics i dont care about. I think if an argument is silly and in good nature then its all fun (and actually those types of arguments are good reading, more like water than the good internet arguments on issues i care for, because theres no stakes its just people having fun and connecting with each other thru the medium of the internet) and if people are having a good internet argument over something i dont know about (ie best cars engines from the 80s a la mona lisa from my cousin vinny) well then its also more like water than OJ bc its low stakes with less repercussions and reading it will teach me something. But all these are still a lil bit OJ bc ..babe cut down ur screentime

newaze, internet fights are fun when they exercise your brain!

[snapshots-of-the-young-egotist]

4th of Julyer..

"If only you could understand how much material there is here.. and yet- here you are before me. Hanging by a thread.."

Some very big decisions are coming up. I must honor how I feel. I don't even think that's the scariest part of this whole ordeal. I think, the thing I am most afraid of is the response. What is to be said. . Will it even matter? These are things one must mull over before completely turning their life around. Whoever doesn't believe in energy I dare you to tell someone in your life who expects you to be or stay a certain way forever that you just simply can't. Or that you most certainly could- but absolutely,

will not.

we are surely not going to be around forever. So we must make the best of what's around. We must honor our hearts and our best thoughts because God put those things there for a reason.

I started making a master list. I make a master list and pretend I am gone. I write things on this list that sort out reality for me. In order of importance, things become categorized. What are the highest achievements I can think of accomplishing? These will range from the professional sphere to the home sphere.. (eventually I think) Even hobbies make the list. They have to.. because otherwise, what is it all for?

What actions and inactions were supportive of my ego during times when my ego needed to be supported? Which actions were not so supportive of my highest self? What was the duration of time spent living for others or the fear of what others would think or say to me if I chose another path? How giving was I when I had plenty? How giving was I when I had less? When I've withdrawn, was I spending time fostering good habits? If I think of myself as delicate, when am I strongest? How does one differentiate an observation from a judgment?

Instead of leaving Stella home, I took her to see rhe fireworks from the Target rooftop. I warned her about seeing people and not barking at them because the Target rooftop was not her home.. but she quickly forgot that as soon as we rounded the corner :) we were there for a while before I realized this was Stella's very first 4th of July! On the way back home she was just smiling so big. Bigger than the time in line at chik-fil-a when she spotted her first crush! (A pretty lab who may or may not have also been a girl..) she was so much more comfortable on the drive home than she normally is. At one point I was thinking about how many little things I felt like I had to do for her on the way out the door. On the rooftop I was pushing things around in my bag looking for a specific toy and it made me picture like a mom who has a kid and is looking for a snack or something? Idk. . . A dog is a lot of work but a kid is like a lifetime of work. On the way back home, I got the sense from Stella that she very grateful that she got to come out. It's like she knew it was between a dreadful car ride in the dark.. or stay home alone.. I actually got like really happy seeing her smiling the whole way home. I felt connected to her and it's a very lovely feeling.

this all ties into the reason for posting. I saw a tik tok of a dog reading that gave me a newfound understanding of my situations invoking decision making. Basically the dog was randomly peeing in the house. No rhyme or reason the owner said. . The dog communicates that the reason for this is because the humans were fighting - and actually it was domestic violence but the dogs explanation was this: peeing in the house while the owners are fighting is the dogs way of demonstrating self love. Taking care of his own needs first. By peeing in the house, the dog was doing for himself what his owner could not. The dog was trying to demonstrate to his owner the importance of taking care of your own needs first. That's actually one of the most difficult lessons for the Soul to learn.

Something nice to remember when we are trying to let go of people places and things- our work is very important and at the same time- it's not THAT important! Stand in your truth and the hearts you may to have to break in the meantime will be healed. If there is a heart unhealed and it seems to come from a decision you had to make, let yourself feel peace with your decision. If you question whether you made the wrong choice about something, and your choice directly affects someone else, ask yourself this. Is this person going to be unhealed for the rest of their lives because I made a choice I feel is right for me? If the answer is yes- pat yourself on the back. You made the right decision. Even if it was very difficult and took a lot of tears to get through. You see, even in this made up scenario, it's easy to forget how powerful emotions can be! Even if you recognize yourself to be "over"certain emotions in certain areas of life- it's the People - that will truly make you doubt yourself. It's never wise to follow people who are not strong enough to stand on their own without making one feel guilty about their truth. This is why the betrayal of the self is the highest betrayal. We will betray ourselves and forever wonder "what if" just because we feel pressure to "go with the flow." Rather than "against the current."

Water is so cohesive, its natural inclination is to take up aa little surface area ans possible. Water molds itself to take the same form of whatever's around it. It's strong enough to hold a ship.

So this week. My efforts are going to be totally inspired by this dog.. and water. Wooosah~

[athletickat]

Top Reads 2020 Fanfiction

I started reading Harry Potter fanfiction this year (thanks to Tik Tok) and these stories I’ve read keep me up at night because I cannot stop thinking about them. 

#1- Manacled by @senlinyu

This is story is a MASTERPIECE. I cannot express how many times I’ve read and thought about this story. The way Hermione loves Draco and Draco loves Hermione is unbeatable. Hermione is a literal boss bitch in this story and my favorite Hermione in everything I’ve read. The build up, the tension, the CHEMISTRY; it is the best thing I have ever read. I could write a whole damn brook report on this story and be proud of it. This story is just... ugh *ultimate chefs kiss*.

#2- Rights and Wrongs series by @lovesbitca8 

The Right Thing To Do, All the Wrong Things, and The Auction are my absolute favorite pieces of writing ever. Draco Malfoy in this series is my horny king, and the best Draco in everything I’ve read. The Auction has a special place in my heart because of hard Hermione works to stay alive and keep the Malfoys alive, as well. All the characters in each story are so well written, especially the Malfoys, and I cannot express how in love I am with each little plot detail and connection between the stories.   

#3- Remain Nameless by @heyjude19-writing

I recently read this story and I cannot get enough of it. This is first fic I’ve read with a wedding scene (two scenes!!) and I cannot put it in words of how perfect it is. This story is all about the love Draco and Hermione have for each other, and it has set such unrealistic expectations for me...ugh. Every chapter had me smiling like an idiot and I could not put it down. 

#4- Cruel and Beautiful World by Lena Phoria 

I am so happy that Lena Phoria turned this fanfiction into a book, but nothing beats the original characters in this story. The way I fell in love with all the characters (except Voldemort, gross) is immaculate. This story deals with a lot of trauma and heavy topics, but the plot and the characters are just too good. Draco is a sweetheart and absolutely whipped for Hermione, but they need each other. I have never laughed so hard while reading a dark AU fic, and this story made my abs hurt. Definitely one to read.

#5- All You Want by @senlinyu

Holy shit. This story has the best smut I have ever read. The way senlinyu describes what's happening to Alpha Draco and Omega Hermione during sex makes me laugh out loud. It is so so good and so so sexy. It is such a fun story to read, and that’s why I love it so much. 

#6- Breath mints / Battle Scars by @onyx-and-elm

This story is the definition of toxicity, but honestly, it’s still so good. Both Hermione and Draco are changed after the war, and they fall in love by rage, sex, and protection of one another. Hermione does not give a single damn about what people may say about her, and Draco just wants her to be happy (although it does take a while for him to see what that really means). Plot and characters are amazing, and the ending is *chefs kiss*.

#7- Isolation by Bex-chan 

The first Dramione fanfiction I’ve ever read, and it has a very special place in my heart. I didn’t think I would like reading Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger fanfiction, but this story changed my mind and led to my spiral of reading such amazing stories. Such an amazing read, and I love seeing Draco grow into a man that Hermione deserves and loves. This story is iconic.

#8- Hunted by Bex-chan

Another superb story by Bex-chan. A Romance/Mystery story after the war and Draco and Hermione fall in love... hard. They are great together and the plot is amazing. This story is another iconic one for me.

#9- Love and Other Misfortunes by @senlinyu

Another great piece of work from the Queen herself, senlinyu. Draco is so stubborn it hurts, but it’s okay because Hermione is there to save the day (duh). Love these two and the romance between them in this story. Also, Veela Draco with wings and fangs is too much for me. Not that it’s important or anything, but the smut level is through the roof. Love it.

#10- Bring Him to His Knees by @willhavetheirtrinkets

Auror Draco and Auror Harry are an iconic duo. I love how intricate Draco is in this story, and how his past still very much affects his present, but Hermione helps him a lot, and it shows just how much they care for each other. Hermione and Draco dance around each other until they realize *wait* they have feelings for each other! It is not complete yet, but I do check every week or so for updates because it has a good murder mystery plot and a fabulous Dramione. 

#11- The Risk-Reward Ratio by MissiAmphetamine

War fic, and honestly one of my favorite ones. Draco sucks up his pride and goes to the Order for help, and Hermione is the only one who truly excepts him. Draco is a stubborn bastard in this story, but he makes up for it. The scenes are so real, and neither character is perfect, but you’ll see how far they are willing to go for each other. 

#12- The Just World Fallacy by MissiAmphetamine

Sequel to The Risk-Reward Ratio, and this one is tough. Still so good, but deals with torture, PTSD, rape, and more heavy topics. The love that still stands between Draco and Hermione even after all that they have been through together is beautiful. I love this story, and I love seeing how each character grows into their own person while during a war.

#13- Broken by @inadaze22

I have never cried so much while reading a story. This story made ME feel broken because Hermione is quite literally shattered, but so is Draco. It’s a story that makes you feel so many things at once and it is beautiful. Super slow-burn, but in the end, Hermione and Draco are meant to be together. 

#14- This World or Any Other series by @olivieblake

Clean and Marked are incredible stories with a rollercoaster twist. I love each character in this series, and the love that Hermione has for Draco, and vice versa, is the most powerful thing in this universe. The relationship starts with a potion assignment and just extends through there. I love their characters so much alongside the secondary characters and it makes the story so interesting. 6th year Hogwarts and continues with the war, but Draco and Hermione are always there for each other no matter what. 

#15- The Eagles Nest by HeartOfApsen

Ravenclaw Draco and Hermione, 8th year, and Alchemy. This story is so complex, and I couldn’t stop reading it. I love both Draco and Hermione and how they work to settle a problem together. Also seeing all the secret rooms in Hogwarts was another compelling aspect of the story that I loved. They know they need each other, and them being nerds and all, school is what brings them together in the end.

#16- Almost Perfect, Almost Yours by BelleOfSummer

I could not put down this story. No matter how much it angered me, and no matter how much I wanted to throw my laptop at the wall, I couldn’t stop reading. The plot is so interesting where Hermione is raised by a Pureblood family, but she was adopted from muggles, so she is Muggleborn. All the while her and Draco fall in love through their teen years and go through a war together. Hermione is a bad bitch and Draco is whipped (maybe not in a good way). They experience so much together, and in the end, you learn to love them for who they are.

#17- The Green Girl by @colubrina

Hermione is sorted into Slytherin and makes all new friends that do not include Harry Potter or Ronald Weasley. I freaking love this story because Hermione is a literal Queen, and the story itself is so well written. I don’t usually read T-rated works, but I could not put this one down because it has such an interesting plot.

#18- Erised Effect by @adaprix

Smut, smut, and more smut with such a cute plot. I love little Hermione as a bad bitch and big dick Draco as a little softy. I was hooked from the first chapter and it was so crazy. The sex scenes in this are just... *fans self*. This story is a rollercoaster of smut, but Draco and Hermione are my all time favs in this.

#19- Every Day, a Little Death by @lovesbitca8

Draco tries everything to satisfy Hermione, and when I say everything, I mean everything. Such a cute story with such a cute relationship. Hermione doesn’t mean to fall in love, but alas, Draco is a sex God and it was inevitable. I love this story!

#20- Crimson with a Silver Lining by Lady Cailan

A dark AU where Draco is mesmerized by Hermione and her will to stay alive. Their love is so strong, but alas, Draco is a stubborn bastard. This story is an emotional rollercoaster and another story where I could not put it down. Also *spoiler* some family drama going on throughout the story. 

#21- Bond by MrBenzedrine89

*fans self* again because this story is incredible. Love the smut, love the club, love the love between Draco and Hermione. Super interesting details in this story with Draco, Hermione, and the infamous Bond club. Loved reading this story.

I fell down a rabbit whole of Dramione stories this year, and it made me ignore everything I had to in my life just to read them. I can’t wait to see more stories this year and procrastinate my life by reading these stories!

[shorkbrian]

💖💘my heart’s dizzy and I my dose of serotonin whenever I read your prose🤟🏽😩 was wondering if you could do reader with an erratic future-vision!quirk so when they first meet yandere!Hawks they’re suddenly plagued by erotic, sensual, 365days-level of disturbing visions of them, so reader actively avoids them (it’s like those Tik Tok future-seeing videos playing to “Play Date”)

Prelude - Hawks isn’t a famous pro-hero in this, but he still has his quirk. It’s not really mentioned a bunch tho lol.  This is rlly long, but I decided not to put it into two parts because the smut is so slight lol. Hope this meets your expectations anon, thank you for reading!

Pairing -  Keigo Takami X Reader

Warnings - NSFW mentions, dubcon, noncon. No out-and-out explicit smut, just a really long story. Hawks is manipulative and gets what he wants

Music - https://open.spotify.com/track/5ukAQcKEIJuzIbP55xp07x?si=iz6I-RoDSdCNYhT2Du8etg

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He was a friend of a friend, someone you had only met once or twice.

Your friend kept bringing him to hangouts, he kept showing up on her instagram feed,  getting mentioned in her twitterbio, and eventually it came out that they had started dating. It didn’t catch anyone by surprise.

What did catch you by surprise, was how infatuated with him your friend was.

“He’s just sooooo hot, isn’t he?” She squealed, shoving her phone in your face to show off a shirtless pic he had just sent her.

You nodded in agreement, quickly appraising the pic before turning your head. Yeah, her boyfriend was attractive, but you weren’t one to ruin relationships. Plus, you and Keigo had never really talked past the brief “Hey” and “Wassup?” said in greeting when introduced the first time.

“Can he come to the mall with us on Friday? I promise there will be no third wheeling.” Your friend begged, clasping her hands together. You thought about it for a second - this had been a fun shopping trip the two of you had planned a few weeks ago, meant as a girls date on a day the mall wouldn’t be crowded. But would it really hurt anything if her boyfriend came along? Probably not.

“Yeah, I don’t mind.” You shrugged, watching your friends face erupt into a wide grin. “But don’t ditch me to go makeout in a bathroom or something, got it?”

“Sir yes sir!” Your friend faux saluted, before patting you on the shoulder. “Thanks girlie!”

You jerked back, head suddenly swarming with visions, your quirk activating. Your quirk was helpful in some ways, but you mainly tried not to use it - headaches resulted, and you hated getting glimpses of the future. Sometimes they’d be good, but they were often bad - you had gotten a screenshot glimpse of your brothers death, his face marred and bleeding out onto the pavement.

It still made you sick to think about it.

Touch wasn’t something you could always avoid, but you tried, seeing as how it activated your quirk, giving you visions of your future with whomever you touched, or whoever touched you.

You saw your friends face, eyes puffy with tears, shouting something. Then another scene flashed, your friend on TV, talking to a reporter.

Thankfully, the visions ended, this episode relatively quick due to how short of a time she touched you.

“Oh shit, I forgot, I’m so sorry.” She rushed to apologize, holding her hands up and backing away from you.

“It’s-it’s fine.” You wheezed, waving your hand in the air to signal that it wasn’t a big deal. The vision just probably meant the two of you would get into a fight soon, which wasn’t uncommon.  It was fine, you were fine.

——

The mall wasn’t too crowded, which made the day pleasant. Your friend was talking to her boyfriend, hand tangled with his as the three of you walked in.

“So (Y/N), what do you think about that new Victoria’s Secret launch?” Your friend bumped you with her hip, drawing your attention as she pulled you into the conversation between her and her boyfriend.

“Oh, um… what?” To be fair, you had zoned out when the couple started being gross and mushy, which was like, the second your friend met Keigo at the door.

The blonde man laughed. “Victoria’s Secret just launched a new line of lingerie, have any thoughts about it?”

Turning red, you smiled sheepishly. “Ah, well…. From what I’ve seen of their stuff it’s… nice? So I’m sure it’s good.”

Your friend mock-gasped, almost slapping you on the arm before quickly remembering your quirk, drawing her hand back. You gave a quick nod of thanks.

“(Y/N)! Don’t tell me you didn’t even know about it?! I practically live, eat, and sleep Victoria’s Secret, it’s impossible to miss their product drops when you’re one of my friends.”

Unsure how to respond, you floundered, opening and closing your mouth like a lost fish.

“Babe, leave her be, she’s probably just shy.” Keigo stepped in, giving his girlfriend a chuckle as he steered you both towards a shop.

“Fineeee.” Your friend whined, turning to focus on the task ahead. “They have a VS shop here though, you’re not getting out of here without going in with me!”

----

The VS store was huge, smelling sweetly of flowers, bright colors assaulting your vision, soft pop music filling your ears.

It was hard not to cringe at all the fancy lingerie, you were honestly a bit embarrassed to be strolling through the store with your friend, let alone her boyfriend by her side.

“Does-does Keigo mind?” You quietly asked your friend, out of earshot of her boyfriend, who was looking at perfumes, last time you checked.

“Not at all birdie, I’m used to clothes, any form, any shape.”

You whirled around, squeaking in surprise at Keigo, who had apparently finished with browsing the perfume. He was flashing you a 1000 watt grin, continuing with what he was saying. “I’m a model, practically every girl I’ve ever met I’ve seen in less than full underwear, it’s no big deal.”

“Oh…. Cool.” You offered, cheeks turning red again. You felt like such a blushing schoolgirl, turning red when faced with looking at bras and panties, flushing when a man got too close.

It was the nature of the store, you told yourself, that was making you so embarrassed.

“Oo! What do you think of this one?” Your friend was holding up a babydoll, pink, with light fabric and zero coverage.

Keigo wolf whistled. “Man, that’d be a good look for you. Lets buy it.” The couple moved on, pointing at different clothes, your friend occasionally picking one from the rack to hold up against her body, looking for Keigo’s opinion.

They were cute together, laughing over the cheesy names on the tags of the lingerie, holding hands as the browsed, your friend occasionally stopping to plant a kiss on her boyfriend’s cheek.

“I think that’s everything that I like…. (Y/N), your turn!” Pulled out of your casual observance, you back pedaled. “Me? No, I’m not really the type to wear this kind of stuff - I don’t even think most of it would fit, I have weird proportions.“

“Nonsense!” Keigo looked around for a moment, going to the nearest rack to quickly sift through bras, before pulling one out. “This one would make all the boys drool over you honey.”

He held it out towards you, shaking it slightly when you hesitated to take it. Was your friend okay with him talking to you like that, pushing underwear at you to buy? A quick glance sideways showed she was more than okay with it, clasping her hands excitedly as she watched you.

The bra was sheer, soft lavender fabric forming the cups, an intricate embroidered detail of flowers dotted haphazardly over the bra. It was pretty, but you weren’t exactly partial to it. When would you wear it? Who would you wear it for? You weren’t sure it was your style. Plus, it probably wasn’t even your size.

“My arm’s gettin’ real tired.” Keigo joked, before you finally took the garment from him. Checking the size, you paused for a second, blinking towards the man.

“How did you-?”

“You spend enough time in the fashion industry, you learn to tell a girl’s size just by looking at her.”  He seemed to puff up, as if he was proud of his bra-sizing skills.

“Let me help her pick out some things too!” Your friend cried, rushing past you to head over to the next rack, ushering you to follow with a wave of her hand.

You ended up with an armful of lingerie - bras, panties,  an odd bustier or two, and some other flowy items, like a sheer robe and a lacy chemise. The choices weren’t exactly made by you, more so made by a combination of your friend and Keigo together. They had alternated holding up items towards your body, comparing color and garment cuts, lost in their own mushy-gushy world, and it was almost like you didn’t exist for a few moments, nothing more than a barbie doll to dress up.

But now the three of you stood in line to checkout, and you felt included again, your friend cracking jokes that were making you snort, Keigo watching the two of you interact.

Until your friend accidentally brushed against your arm as she shifted forward in line.

Again, you saw her tearful face, heard her sobbing, before the other scene flashed, of her on TV, talking to the reporter. She still looked upset, eyes rimmed red, nose running, hair a mess.

With a gasp, your vision returned to the present, and you were wobbling on your feet, almost falling.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry (Y/N), I’m so so sorry. Here, let me take that, go sit down by the entrance.” She fussed over you, face concerned as she carefully took the stack of clothes from your arms, making sure to not make contact.

“Oh fuck, is she alright?” You heard Keigo ask, your friend stepping in front of you as he moved forward to check on you.

“Yeah, she’s just feeling a little dizzy. Can you make sure she doesn’t fall and crack her head open? Just wait by the entrance please.”

“Okay. Oh, here-“ You were a bit dazed, but you saw Keigo fish his wallet out of his pocket, thrusting the entire thing into his girlfriends hands before patting her on the shoulder “Whichever card is fine.”

And then you were stumbling towards the entrance, towards the bench right outside.

You hated seeing the future. Why was your friend crying? What had happened to elicit such a reaction? The unknowns killed you, kept you up at night as you tried to puzzle out the events that could lead up to the scenes from your visions.

Not looking where you were going, you tripped on air, unable to catch yourself as you plummeted towards the ground.

But then you were seeing Keigo.

He was above you, face flushed and sweaty, hair tousled, his chest bare. The room was dark, barely lit, and he was so close. The man leaned down to kiss you, then the scene changed.

You were bent over a table, only able to see the solid wood your face was smushed against. There was a heat in your belly, a tingling between your thighs, and pressure. Someone was talking - Keigo, muttering behind you angrily. You head was pulled up, a hand fisted in your hair, and then one of your knees was pushed up onto the table, and the pressure inside exploded into pure pleasure.

You felt yourself screaming, bucking your hips as you suffered through whatever the feeling was.

The scene changed again.

Hands tied above your head, you were pressed against a wall, sitting on some kind of…. Saddle? Your legs couldn’t touch the ground, and you squirmed, before gasping loudly.

There was a nub in the seat, ribbed and textured, slick with some kind of liquid… From you? Then you saw Keigo, standing in front of you, smirking at you with hardened eyes.

He had something in his hand, arms crossed over his chest while he fiddled with the object, muscles flexing. He was shirtless again, and-and his cock was hanging out of his sweatpants, pressed against his belly, smearing precum over his skin.

You tried to say something, anything - the visions never lasted this long, it was too intense, there was so much sensation. But your mouth wouldn’t move, choked up.

Keigo’s hand was on his length, rubbing slowly, saying something that didn’t reach your ears.

The scene changed.

Something was shoved down your throat, warm and twitching. You were sobbing, choking, clawing at whatever was in front of you. A dark laugh filled your ears, and you opened your eyes, met with the clenching abs of a strong stomach.

Keigo was brushing your tears, no, smudging them over your face. Were you wearing makeup? His cock was sitting in your throat, his hips moving in tiny jerks, stabbing your esophagus, making you gag.

Then you were back in the present.

A hand was holding your arm, keeping you from falling and making contact with the hard floor.

“-N)? (Y/N)? Are you okay? Talk to me birdie”

You made a panicked noise, pulling yourself out of Keigo’s grip so fast that you fell flat on the floor, scrambling backwards away from the man.

He almost looked scared, confused as he followed after you, holding out his hands. “(Y/N), you gotta calm down, you’re gonna make yourself sick.”

The man reached for your arm again and you pressed yourself against the floor, screeching out a loud “No!!” before he could touch you. Keigo paused, looking at his hand, then at you. “Hey, hey, I’m not gonna touch you. It’s okay little birdie, you’re alright.” He cooed, sinking to his knees in front of you.

You were hyperventilating, wide eyes trained on Keigo. Your thoughts were swirling in your head, you couldn’t focus, the sensations of the future still echoing through your body.

Keigo crouched there while you steadied your breathing, talking to you the entire time, trying to help you relax and calm down. You weren’t sure what he was saying, something about the weather? Or a dog? But you could feel your breathing evening out, head clearing.

“Hey, she fall?” You friend was carrying two bags, crouching down beside Keigo, cocking her head at you.

Her boyfriend nodded, turning to her and taking one of the bags. “I caught her, but then she freaked out and fell for real.”

Your friend nodded. “I should’ve told you earlier, she has a touch-based quirk. Every time someone touches her, she sees snippets of her future with that person.”

Keigo cocked his own head, gazing at you curiously. “I guess her future with me isn’t too positive then?”

Your friend shrugged. “Eh, she just hates seeing parts of the future. She doesn’t want to know what’s going to happen, makes her worry or something like that. Don’t take it too personally, she’s like that with everyone.”

“It-it-“ you rasped out, causing both sets of eyes to swivel towards you. “-I hate it... because-‘cause I can’t ever cha-change it.” You shivered.

Keigo nodded in understanding, before rising to his feet. “Think you can walk to my car? I’ll drive you two home, I think you’d benefit from some rest.”

He dropped you off at your apartment, and you wearily waved at the couple as they drove off, before heading inside.

----

A week passed, then two.

The visions you had concerning Keigo were plaguing your mind, filling your body with anxiety. There had been a distinctive feel of fear during each one, and despite all the other various sensations felt, the most overwhelming had been distress.

Whatever was going to happen, you weren’t going to like it.

You were holing up in your apartment, ignoring your roommates when they knocked on your door, only leaving your room to eat or grab water. You couldn’t sleep, too scared you’d have dreams, or more accurately, nightmares of what you had seen.

Curse your quirk.

Trying to pass time, desperate to keep your mind off of the future, you threw yourself into any activity you could find.

First you tried coloring - it was supposed to be relaxing, but it gave you too much time to think.

Then you tried gaming, spending hours in front of your computer mashing the keys. That worked for a bit, but your eyes and head soon protested.

You listened to music at full volume, tried several workout videos, even resorted to cleaning your space with fervent energy.

None of it took your mind off the inevitable.

“(Y/N), someone’s at the door asking for you.” You jerked awake, slumped over uncomfortably on the floor, the half finished card tower in front of you promptly knocked over at your erratic movements.

“(Y/N)?” Your roommate called again.

“Yeah! Coming, sorry.” You mumbled, scrubbing sleep from your eyes. You guess your body would give out sometime and force you to fall asleep, but as you moved to stand, you sorely wished your body had chosen a more comfortable place to pass out.

Opening the front door, you immediately took a cautious step back, sleepy demeanor vanishing.

Keigo smiled at you, one hand in the pocket of his jeans, the other holding a bouquet of flowers.

Flowers?

“Hey birdie, mind if I come in?”

You stared at him for a second, immediately on guard. Why did he have flowers? Why did he want to come in? Wasn’t he dating your friend? She didn’t live here, what was he doing here?

The man cleared his throat, raising an eyebrow at you. You moved to the side, holding open the door for Keigo to come inside.

Your roommates were home. If anything happened, they would be within earshot.

Keigo shot you a smile and a thanks, before immediately moving into the small living room, taking a seat on the couch. When he saw you still hovering by the open door, he patted the cushion beside him.

“Come sit, I promise I don’t bite.” He thought for a moment, before grinning. “Well, not unless you want me to.”

Hesitantly, you shut the front door, going to sit in a ratty armchair further away from the winged man. If this bothered him, the man didn’t let it show other than a short pause before he spoke.

“So, I know it probably seems like, super weird for me to show up at your apartment, but hear me out.”

Flowers were shoved in your lap, Keigo taking great care to avoid touching you.  “I felt bad about the other day, and my girl and I decided that we should get you some flowers. She picked ‘em out, it even says so on the note.”  The man laughed, running a hand through his hair.

“She’s so uptight about this kinda stuff. Anyways, just wanted to say that I’m sorry for grabbing you like that. If I had known, I would’ve let you fall flat on your ass. But I know now, so I’ll be better, cool with you?”

Finishing his little speech, Keigo held out his hands, wings stretching behind him to mimic the gesture.

Looking at the flowers in your lap, you felt your hands shaking. Picking up the little note attached to the bouquet, you found that your friend had indeed picked out the flowers, which made sense. They were your favorites, and in a nice color too.  Keigo had left a messy, scrawled “Sorry!” in one corner, before signing by his girlfriends name.

“Um, thank you Keigo, you didn’t have to apologize.” You murmured, rubbing one of the flower petals between your fingers. You were so glad your quirk extended solely to humans - if you were shown glimpses of the future of everything you touched, you would most likely go mad.

“Nah, I wanted to. Also wanted to swing by, check how you’re doing. You been taking care of yourself?” He relaxed on the couch, legs spread, arms resting behind his head. This wasn’t his home, yet you totally could believe that it was by the ease with which he owned the space with his presence.

“Oh, well… I’m still here, so…” You shrugged.

Keigo frowned. “That’s not a fun answer. How much sleep you been gettin’ each night? Eight hours?”

You shook your head, huffing out a breath in place of a laugh.

Keigo clicked his tongue. “No sleep? That’s bad for you y’know. Have you at least been drinking water? Eatin’?”

You nodded quickly, looking up to meet the man’s gaze. “I’m not a kid. I appreciate your concern, but it’s not necessary.”

At this point, you think the best thing for your health would be for the man to leave.

The blonde man stared at you for a moment, before sighing. “Alright, I get it. But I don’t want to hear that you’ve passed out or something, got it? Your friend would kill me.”

He rose to his feet, and so did you, walking him to the door. “Thanks Keigo, and thank you again for the flowers. That was very sweet of you both.”

Keigo beamed, giving a two fingered salute. “You deserve it birdie. Well, have a good rest of your day, yeah? Eat something.”

You smiled, at Keigo as he turned away, beginning to whistle as he strolled down the hall.

Once the door was shut, you found a vase for the flowers, filling it with water and setting it on the table. Your roommates would think it was pretty, and it was, a nice little centerpiece.

That really was nice of your friend and Keigo to offer you flowers.

——

“Welcome to Gold Nile Jewelers, how can I-“ You blinked at the man entering the shop. “-Keigo.”

“Birdie? You work here?” He looked just as confused as you felt, cocking his head to the side as he approached the counter.

You looked around the small display room, nodding your head. “Yep… You looking for anything specific today?”

“Ah, right!” He clasped his hands together, bending over to lean on the display counter as he looked up at you. “So professional (Y/N), it’s just me.” The man chuckled.

“Actually, I thought I’d get my girl a cute little bracelet or something like that, you think she’d like that?”

Knowing your friend, she’d be ecstactic. “Oh, absolutely. Any particular occasion, or just an “I love you gift”?” You asked, already running through the list of bracelets in stock.

“It’s our two month anniversary in another week, thought I’d get her a little sumn’ sumn’, y’know?”

Gold Nile Jewelers was an expensive store. You patted yourself on the back for not dropping your jaw when he said “two month anniversary”. People came here for wedding rings and special occasion jewelry, not monthly anniversaries like some high schoolers.

Well, unless they were rich.

You showed Keigo the selection of bracelets currently available, the man listening quietly to your product descriptions and recommendations, asking questions about the fit and feel, and if you think your friend would like a particular one.

“Honestly Keigo, I could choose one I think she’d like, but it’d be more special if you chose for her.” You finally told him.  He wasn’t annoying you, but you felt frustrated with his apparent lack of knowledge about his girlfriend. How did he not know what her favorite color was? “I’d suggest coming back in a few days. Go home, see what kind of jewelry she wears, pay attention to the colors she gravitates towards, if she’s allergic to any metals.”

Keigo tapped his chin. “Hmm, you have a good point. I guess I should pay more attention to those kinds of things.”

You nodded as you began to pack the expensive bracelets back into their display cases. “Gifts for a significant other can be hard. Honestly, it means a lot if they pick it out themselves and surprise you with it. Makes it special.”

“Oh, you have a partner?” Keigo asked, bright eyes watching your hands work.

A frown almost crossed your features, but you stopped it before it could show. “Ah, sorry, that’s not really a work-appropriate question.”

“Awh, c’mon! It’s just me, we’re friends, can’t you tell me?” Keigo pouted, batting his eyelashes at you in an exaggerated, dramatic fashion. The display made you laugh, so you indulged him. After all, he was a friend. No harm in telling him something he was bond to know sooner or later.

“I’m actually single right now. But as a jeweler sale associate, I know how much it means to a person when their partner picks out a gift for them, especially if it’s a surprise.”

Keigo nodded his head solemnly.  “That makes sense. I better follow your advice then eh? Find out what she likes-“ he mused “-I can do that.”

“Good luck Keigo!” You called after him as he strolled through the door, waving when he smiled at you, giving that same, goofy two fingered salute that he always did when saying goodbye.

The man unnerved you, the visions you had experienced concerning him making you worry. But as long as he was dating your friend, you felt that you’d be fine.

-----

Keigo showed up again two days later.

“Back so soon?”

“You know me-“ He shook out his umbrella, placing it in the drip-bin by the door, wiping his shoes on the mat. “I always try to be speedy with my work.”

It was grey outside, drizzling slightly. You loved these kinds of days, where you could sit near a window and watch it rain while sipping tea. It was so peaceful and calm, and always soothed your stress.

“Find out anything useful?” Whatever he could tell you would make it easier to refine the jewelry selection for his particular needs.

“So, she doesn’t have any bracelets, and I asked her about why and she said they annoy her. She likes necklaces.” He clarified,. You could tell by the way he puffed up that he felt proud of his detective skills. “I even made a note of the lengths - she likes ones that dip low, which-“ He wolf whistled, and your stomach turned. But it was fine, just awkward.

“Alright, I think we have quite a few like that. Let me collect them for you and lay them out.”

Keigo strolled around the display room while you bustled about, looking in each case at the shiny metals and stones  

You laid out the necklaces, calling Keigo over. The man smiled brightly at you as you showed him the selection, noticing he was gravitating towards the more simply, elegant choices.

“I’m sure she would be thrilled with any of these.” You offered, Keigo silent as he tried to decide between two necklaces.

Still, the man shook his head, quirking his lips. “I just…. I need to see them on, y’know?” Then he brightened, as if he had just thought of something. “Hey, can you try them on? Model one for me? Just to see what it’d look like.”

You laughed nervously. “Sorry Keigo, but I’m not allowed to do that, it’s against company policy. Only customers get to try on the jewelry, and that’s if they’re supervised.”

“Awh, c’mon! No one else is here, and I won’t tell.” The man leaned forward, shooting you a quick wink before he snatched up one of the necklaces, holding it out towards you. “Please? I just need to see it. I promise I’ll buy it.”

He was so insistent, and no matter how loud the alarm bells were wringing in your head, you felt cowed by his confidence.

“Um, still… I don’t think it’s allowed-“

“Fuck what’s allowed-“ He cut you off, snorting. “-I want to see what it looks like. It’s just me (Y/N), I’m not gonna snitch.”

A heavy sigh, and you finally agreed, taking the necklace from his nimble fingers.  You slung it around your neck, not fastening the back as you held it in place. Hopefully that would be enough to sate Keigo’s curiosity.

His eyes immediately followed the curve of the necklace, how it dipped low towards your cleavage (curse you for wearing a lower-cut shirt today). You tried to ignore the leering.

“Here, let me help you fasten it, doesn’t look right otherwise.”

Before you could protest, he was sliding behind you, deft hands reaching for the necklace your had in your grasp.

“Keigo no-!”

But it was too late.

You were pressed up against a wall, face-first, your hands gathered into the small of your back and held there with a vice-like grip. There was pressure between your legs, something hammering into you, in and out, in and out, in and out.

Keigo was talking to you, you could tell it was the man by his voice. What was he saying? You were too overwhelmed with the sensation between your legs to focus on the words falling from his lips.

Sweat dripped from your temples, Keigo’s chest pressed up against your back was slick with perspiration, his nipples hard and pressing into your skin. It was an uncomfortable situation-

And then it changed.

You were tied up now, tight enough that you couldn’t move no matter how you thrashed. Knees bound in such a way so your ass was up in the air, arms stretched out in front of you, anchored to the headboard of the bed.

Keigo was behind you again - nothing to indicate that the tongue running through your core was his, but somehow, you knew.

You were begging and pleading, withing in your restraints against his tongue, but he wouldn’t let up, he wouldn’t let you crest the mountain that had built up inside. He kept chuckling, the vibrations running through you and making you buck your hips. You felt disgusting.

Then the bed was gone, and Keigo was in front of you. He was sitting in an office chair, your legs straddling his lap. Hands on your hips were dragging you back and forth, grinding you on the hard member protruding from Keigo’s lap. He was flushed, letting out little moans as he kept eye contact with you, smiling and praising you.

Then you were back.

Gasping, you shot away from Keigo, the expensive necklace clattering to the ground as it fell from your hands.

The man froze, confusion etched across his features as he watched you bend over, trying to catch your breath, to calm down, to ignore the lingering sensations from the futuristic visions.

“(Y/N)…”

“I think-I think you should leave.” You heaved, tears building. That had been awful, everything had felt good but you hadn’t. You felt uncomfortable and disrespected and stupid. That couldn’t be your future with Keigo, you wouldn’t be able to handle that. He was your friend’s boyfriend, for goodness sake!

Keigo opened his mouth to say something, but you snapped at him “Leave.”, making the man click his jaw shut.

He walked out the door, shooting you concerned glances the entire way.

You felt better as soon as he was gone, the door clicking shut after him. Thankfully, you were the only employee out front at the moment, and no other customers were present, so no one but you and Keigo had experienced your outburst.

Bending down to pick up the necklace, you inspected it carefully, horrified that you had dropped such an expensive item. It was alright though, so you brought it back to the others, shakily beginning to gather them up to put away.

You didn’t want to see Keigo again.

——-

“I just don’t understand!”

Your friend sobbed, surrounded by tissues on your bed, eyes red and blotchy.  You wished you could rub her back, our give her a hug, but you knew what would happen. So you stayed on the floor, passing up tissues and offering wordless sympathy.

“Why would he break up with me? Why?”

You shrugged, looking for words. “I don’t know… I’m sorry that this happened, but if he can’t see how awesome you are, then he’s an idiot.”

She sniffed, blowing her nose. You could tell she wasn’t convinced, but she didn’t say anything further, instead choosing to wipe her eyes.

She had called an hour or so ago, tearful, asking if she could come over. Refused to tell you what was wrong, but the second you let her in, she had burst into tears, explaining everything.

Keigo had broken up with her via text, that asshole.

“I just…. I thought we were good. Did I do something wrong? I just don’t get it.”

“Neither do I. You said he just texted you out of the blue?”

She nodded her head, going to blow her nose again. “We were supposed to go out for dinner tomorrow, it’s our two month anniversary.”

You cringed. Did your encounter with Keigo in the jewelry store have something to do with this? Had you driven your friend’s boyfriend away? Had you weirded him out? Oh god, what if this was all your fault?

Your friend broke down into a sob again, slumping onto your bed. You passed her another tissue. “It’ll be okay. I think he’s a stupid fucker that just wanted to play with your heart.  He isn’t worth shit. You deserve so much better than him.”

She nodded, blotchy eyes seeking out your own. In the back of your mind, you cringed, seeing the exact same scene from your vision. Well, at least the two of you hadn’t gotten in a fight.

——-

A few weeks later, Keigo was at your door.

“You need to leave. Now.”

“Aw, c’mon (Y/N), at least hear me out?”

You huffed, crossing your arms. Maybe he had a dumb explanation for why he had dumped your friend. You were wary of him accidentally touching you again though. “Fine, but make it quick.”

“No promises.” He grinned, breezing past you and into your apartment. He beelined for the chair you had sat in last time he was here, leaving you to take a seat on the couch.

“Alright-“ He settled in, fixing you with a gleeful eye. “How do you feel about your quirk?”

Caught off guard, you blinked. Wasn’t he going to explain why he had broken your friend’s heart? “Um, what?”

“Your quirk, y’know, the one that makes you see the future?” He leaned forward, rubbing his hands together with a smile. He seemed far too pleased, and it made you nervous.

“I hate it. If I could get rid of it, I would.” You stated, ready to move onto a different topic. But just as you were about to ask him about your friend, he rose to his feet, fishing in his pockets.

He drew out a bracelet, black and red, thin. “Well then, lookie what I have.” The man walked over, sitting down quickly on the couch next to you, causing you to immediately scoot to the end. You didn’t want him touching you.

“Oh, sorry.” He apologized upon noticing your unease. Instead of scooting closer, he simply tossed the bracelet onto your lap, leaning back as he watched you look at it curiously. “Put it on, see how it fits.”

“I don’t need jewelry Keigo, and I think we should be spending our time discussing why you bro-“

“Just put it on (Y/N), please? I promise you won’t regret it.”

Huffing, you did as he asked, clasping the bracelet around your wrist. It fit snug, almost too tight, but it hugged your wrist comfortingly. It was pretty, but you didn’t see what this had to do with your quirk, or with your friend, or anything that held any relevancy.

Bracelet now on, you fixed Keigo with a blank stare. “Happy?”

“I don’t know.” Keigo grinned. “Are you?” And then he was hugging you, arms wrapped around your shoulders, face buried in your neck.

You shrieked, already panicking as you tried to ready yourself for the onslaught of  visions that accompanied physical touch.

They never came.

Choking back a surprised gasp, you drew back from his hug to find Keigo’s eyes, the man smiling down at you as he watched your reaction.

“Kei-Keigo…” You stuttered, shocked, surprised, euphoric, confused - so many emotions, all at once. You couldn’t even think to brush off the hands still around your shoulders, thumbs brushing at the tops of your exposed collarbones by the neck of your shirt.

You weren’t able to think rationally, couldn’t focus on anything but the awe you felt at being touched without being slammed with visions of the future.

You forgot about the terrifying visions you had gotten when Keigo touched you.

You forgot about how he had hurt your friend, broke her heart with no explanation.

You forgot about his hands refusing to leave your body.

“Keigo, this is…. Amazing” You breathed, wide eyes snapping up, catching his smiling face, eyes crinkly and twinkly.

“I had my team modify some quirk-cancelling cuffs! You seemed so upset whenever someone touched you, I couldn’t leave you with such a burden.”

Nodding, you returned your gaze to the bracelet, turning your wrist this way and that to look at the bracelet from different angles.

“I mean, I know how much I like being touched, and touching. I think I’d totally die if I couldn’t.” Keigo chuckled, but you weren’t listening.

The rest of his time sitting next to you on the couch was spent explaining the colors he had spent so long picking (“They’re my personal favorite, aren’t they nice?”) and why he had decided on a bracelet (“It could’ve been a necklace, but I think it looks better in it’s original cuff design, looks cooler that way.”).

By the time he had to leave, you were completely sidetracked, so distracted with your shiny new jewelry that you didn’t even remember to ask what his deal was with being a jerk to your friend, his now ex-girlfriend.

-----

“-and then he gave me the bracelet. I wasn’t thinking much after that, I just… I can hug you, isn’t that incredible?”

You gave your friend another squeeze, feeling a smile dance across your face. But then you sobered, pulling back from her with your hands on her shoulders, quickly becoming serious.

“But he’s really starting to kind of weird me out. Why won’t he explain why he broke up with you? He’s being a little bitch. I tried asking him a couple times, but he kept cutting me off, and I feel like the bracelet was a distraction to stop me from busting his chops about his behavior towards you.”

Your friend looked sad for a second, before shrugging. “I dunno, he just said things weren’t working out, and that while he liked me, he’s not ready for a relationship right now ‘cause of where he’s at in his life.”

“Psh-“ You scoffed, going in for another comforting squeeze for your friend. “-that’s code for “I’m a fuckboy and want to sleep around”.”

“I know….. But it still hurts.” You friend sighed, wrapping her arms around your neck. “But at least he gave you that quirk thing. I’ve never seen you so happy.”

“I just wish he was a mildly decent person.” You grumbled, detaching from the hug to sit back, glaring at the ceiling. “He gives me the fucking creeps.”

“How so?” You friend locked her head to the side, throwing her arm over the back of the couch. You had called her over the second Keigo had left, finally gathering your wits about you.

“I dunno…” You shrugged, not quite ready to tell her about the disturbing visions containing him. Did that have something to do with their breakup? Was it your fault? What was going to happen with Keigo? It honestly scared you, the residual feelings and sensations you could remember from the visions.

Your friend nodded understandingly. “Some people just give off those vibes. Well, at least we don’t ever have to see him again. Good riddance I say.”

You agreed.

——-

Knocking on the door, you shuffled your feet as you took in the house.

It was one of those rich places - nice neighborhood, fancy street filled with lavish houses, expensive cars. You felt slightly out of place, shifting from foot to foot in your clearance-rack clothes.

The door swung open, revealing a sleepy Keigo, shirtless, clad in nothing but sweatpants.

“Oh, um-“ You quickly turned, averting your eyes, trying to give the man privacy in case he hadn’t realized he was shirtless. It looked like he had just woken up from a nap, eyes blinking owlishly, hair mussed.

“Hey (Y/N), come on in.”

Still keeping your eyes turned away, you stepped inside the opulent house, trying not to gape too much at the decor inside. You didn’t want to look like a complete peasant in front of Keigo, but he’d already been to your house, so you could imagine that he knew of your poor-ness.

“Something wrong? You can look at me y’know, I’m not gonna turn you to stone or something.” Keigo joked, voice entirely too close for comfort.

Head whipping around, you found that he was too close, practically almost touching you as he stood beside you, head cocked as he watched you.

“No… nothings wrong, you’re just…” You gestured to his torso, and Keigo looked down in confusion, before looking back at you, a grin on his face.

“Ah, just woke up.” He shrugged, before reaching out to touch your arm. “Bracelet still keeping that quirk at bay?”

You nodding, following the blonde as he turned and walked further into his house, towards the kitchen.

“Glad to hear! I just wanted to look at it a bit, make sure nothing’s worn or torn, y’know? Hate for you to have to deal with the no-touching thing again.” He said over his shoulder, gesturing for you to sit down at the island, on one of the barstools.

You did so, watching the man open his fridge, take out a carton of milk, uncap it. “Is it too tight?”

“Nope.”

He drank right out of the bottle, and you watched some dribble out of the corner of his mouth, down his chin. The man finished gulping down the milk, taking the bottle away from his lips to swipe at the white trail of liquid rolling down his chin.

Eyes dark, he made contact with your own eyes as he cleaned his chin with a finger, stuffing it in his mouth to suck it clean.

That was gross.

The next second, he was back to normal, cheerfully putting the milk back into the fridge. “Good, good. Now, mind if I take a look at it? You should keep it on though.”

You nodded, and Keigo straightened, walking around the island to sit next to you, shuffling his stool closer.

He grabbed your wrist, laying it out on the island, before beginning to poke at the bracelet, running his fingers over it, fiddling with it, squeezing the tendons in your hand, smoothing his hand up your arm.

It felt a bit intrusive.

“So the visions are all blocked?”

“Yep.”

“And you can touch and be touched?”

“Yeah.”

“How’s your appetite? Sometimes complete quirk suppression can make you lose your appetite.”

“It’s been normal, I guess I’m a little hungrier than normal, but I’ve been getting out more too, not as afraid of crowds.”

“Nice! And how about your libido?”

You spluttered, choking on your own spit, snatching your hand away from Keigo’s wandering touches.

“Excuse me? That’s a bit personal, thanks.”

Keigo shrugged, bright eyes hooded and lazy. “It’s just a question.”

“Are you done making sure it’s all good? No broken parts?” You changed the subject, narrowing your eyes. You can’t believe your friend had ever dated him, that you had ever thought he was anything but a playboy.

You wouldn’t even be here, in his house, but he had come into the jewelers a while back (both you and your friend had blocked his number), spouting something about your bracelet needing constant checks and maintenance in order to keep suppressing your quirk. (“Wouldn’t want it to stop working, right? Just stop by sometimes, here’s my address.”).

So here you were.

Keigo leaned back a little, raising an eyebrow at your irritated tone of voice. “Woah there, don’t get snippy. I’m doing you a favor, right? I’m not trying to hurt you or something.”

Technically, you guess he was right. But he had played your friend, had fucked with her feelings. He was a fuckboy, liked messing with each and every girl he could find, and you didn’t care to be one of them.

“And I appreciate that Keigo. But I like to keep my private life private.”

Keigo was silent, simply holding out a hand for you to place your arm in, so he could fiddle more with the bracelet.

Several moments of awkward silence passed before he spoke again. “You’re being awfully ungrateful. It makes me think you don’t even want this little gift. If I were you, I’d be doing everything I could to show the person kind enough to do such a thing for me how thankful I was.”

Lost for words, you stared at the man. Was he expecting some sort of award? Some sort of prize? It’s not like you had anything to give him.

“I don’t have anything to give you in thanks. Just my words, which I’ve said plenty of. I didn’t ask you to make this for me.” You pointed out.

“Sure, but you use it, don’t you? You wouldn’t like it if I took it away, right? Think about how miserable your life was before I gave you this.”

Your life had been miserable. Afraid to go out in crowds, afraid to leave the house, Nervous about grocery shopping, about paying and having the cashier touch your hand as they handed over the change.

Scared of public transportation, of coffeeshops and bookstores, of public parks, even your own home. What if one of your roommates forgot and touched you? Or accidentally bumped into you?

Plus, you could hug now, and shake hands, and slap your friends back when she told a horrible joke, or tap her when you wanted her attention.

You didn’t want to go back to before. “I’m sorry Keigo… I really do think it’s lovely, and I can never thank you enough for doing this for me.”

Keigo let go of your arm, and it swung back to your side. You could feel the man looking at you.

“You know what would let me know that you mean it?”

God, it better not be something sexual.

“You could buy me coffee. Or maybe a cookie from that bakery on 1st Avenue, you know the one? With the little bunny pastries?”

That surprised you.

“You go there? That’s my favorite place.” You mused, looking at Keigo in surprise. He didn’t seem the kind of guy who’d like a place like that. But appearances could be deceiving.

“Of course! I really like their stuff.”

“Alright,” You conceded, rising to your feet. “I’ll get you some stuff from there. Want it today?”

Keigo rose to his feet as well, crossing his arms over his bare chest. “Yeah! Let me get dressed real quick, and then I’ll go with you. Don’t go anywhere birdie.” He shot you a wink, before sauntering past you, out of the kitchen.  You raised a brow, surprised. He meant to go with you?

“Make yourself at home while you wait, don’t be afraid to kick up your feet!”  

——-

The bakery smelled as lovely as usual.

A warm atmosphere, good food, friendly employees. It was your favorite place for a reason.

“Alright, what do you want?” You asked Keigo, the two of you staring up at the menu.

“Hmm, I don’t know. What are you going to get?”

“Probably a muffin, those are my favorite.”

“What!?! That’s my favorite too! How crazy.” Keigo smiled at you, dimples showing. You got the feeling that he was brown-nosing you, but you kept the thought to yourself, striding up to the counter to order.

Muffins purchased, you approached Keigo, who was lounging by one of the display cases, admiring the delicate, mouthwatering masterpieces held within.

“All good to go?” His smile was so charming, so friendly, you almost caught yourself wanting to see it more. Huffing in irritation at yourself, you pushed past him, shoving the bag with his muffin into his chest.

“Here’s your stuff. I’m going home now, see you around.”

“Wait!” Keigo turned, jogging a little to catch up as you exited the bakery. “We gotta eat these before they get cold - hey, birdie, are you listening to me?“

You weren’t, stoically keeping your head turned forward, walking with determination. There was only so much of Keigo that you could tolerate, and you had reached your limit. He was starting to really annoy you, didn’t he get that you wanted to go home? You’ll just eat your muffin on the subway, it’s not that hard.

“(Y/N)-“ His sudden growl was punctuated by an arm on your shoulder, spinning you around and pulling you towards the man.

“Hey-!” The sudden collision of your face with his chest knocked your breath away, almost causing you to drop your own muffin in the process.

When you managed to gather yourself, you shot a glare up at Keigo’s face, only to find the blonde smirking down at you, a fierce glint in his eyes.

“I expect you to listen when I’m talking, got it? I don’t like being ignored.”

That’s evident.

You tried to back away, but he still had a hand on your shoulder, squeezing you tight to him. “Keigo! Let me go, you stupid idiot-“

“Stop it, I’m not doing anything to you, ya big baby.” He cooed down at you, before taking his hand away, letting you stumble backwards.

He was just messing with you, teasing you. It was obvious, yet still you allowed him to be around you.

“Alright, I’m sorry, I know all the touching’s gotta be new still. Wanna go eat these in the park? I’ll buy you some ice cream if you want.”

“I don’t want ice cream, I want to go home.”

Keigo frowned, walking after you when you turned on your heel, heading for the subway. “Why do you dislike me so much? I’ve done so much to help you, and yet you spit in my face. Your parents ever teach you how to be grateful? Or even respectful?”

You gasped at his accusation, stopping in your tracks to whirl around, only to find the man far closer than what you had expected. Still, you tried to hide your surprise at his proximity, jabbing a finger in his direction.

“You are a playboy, you broke my friend’s heart, and you want to sleep with every single person you come across just to mess with their feelings. I don’t want to be around you. I won’t get dragged into that.”

The man watched you, face solemn and contemplative. “Is that really how you see me?”

“Why would I say any of that unless it was true?”

He ran a hand through his hair, looking up and around, as if gathering his bearings, before back down at you.

“Have you ever considered that I’m the one getting my heart broken?”

“Yeah right-“ You scoffed, only for Keigo to cut you off.

“People want to sleep with me because they think it’ll get them something that they want. Fifteen second fame, a piece in a tabloid about my “new lover”…. Think it’ll help them further their career, or that I’ll give them money. I can’t find anyone real.

“And my friend wasn’t real enough for you?” You spat, not believing him for a second.

“Nope.  You think she liked me for who I am?”

“Uh, yeah? She gushed to me all the damn time about how good you were, how she felt about you. That girl held nothing but love and affection for you.”

The man snorted, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, sure, love for my wallet.”

“She’s not like that.” You argued, brows furrowing.

“Really? Cause she was sucking me dry, and not even in a sexy way.”

You crinkled your nose at what he was implying. Your friend wasn’t like that, she truly had felt for Keigo, had liked him as her boyfriend. She wasn’t just a leech.

“I’m done talking about my failed love life.” Keigo said lowly, nudging your shoulder. “I just thought two friends could hangout, but it seems like you think all I do is try and fuck people.”

“No, Kiego…. That’s not what I meant.” Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t, but right now…. You almost felt a twinge of sympathy for him.

Some of what he was saying made sense, how people would try and use him for various reasons. But that still didn’t explain his sudden and harsh breakup with your friend. And over text no less, a complete douche move!

But you felt bad about his words, about how he seemed to actually want to hangout, and yet you were accusing him of trying to sleep with you. But what about those visions you had had? Was that even how they went? Or were you remembering falsely based on your bias towards the man?

And what about his suggestive touches, his leering gaze? Was that maybe just how he always was, and it wasn’t exclusive to you? Were you inflating your place in his life, thinking that he wanted you?

It was confusing, and you didn’t want to think about it, try and untangle the lies from the truth. Right now, you just wanted to eat your muffin.

“If you really didn’t mean it, then can we go eat these in the park? I just want to chill with someone that isn’t trying to gain something from me. I want to spend time with someone that’s real.”

With a half-irritated sigh, you nodded, hoping you wouldn’t regret hanging out with the obnoxious man.

-----

He kept calling you, texting you. You’d had to unblock his number at some point, in order for him to text you about the bracelet and when he needed to look at it.

“Come overrrrr, I’m bored!”

“Birdie, are you hungry? The delivery place gave me extra Torikatsu and I don’t want it to go bad. Can I come drop it off?”

He’d swing by the jewelers, leaning over the counter to talk to you about a recent shoot he’d booked, or something he saw recently.

Keigo seemed to slowly insert himself into every facet of your live, against your will, ignoring every subtle, irritated attempt of yours to turn him away. Every single time you saw him, your mind would inevitably think of the visions, but you felt like you couldn’t trust yourself with those anymore.

The man assured you at every step, he had no romantic feelings for you, he just wanted a friend, someone to put him in his place, be honest with him.

You definitely were honest.

Snapping at him when he showed up at your apartment uninvited, coming up behind you on the street and grabbing your sides, laughing when you shrieked and tried to hit your attacker, only to realize it was Keigo.

Tearing into him when he tried to talk badly about your friend - she had been having less and less contact with you, and you couldn’t figure out why. Now your relationship with her was reduced to curt text messages. Maybe she was just going through a hard time, and wanted alone time? Still, you let her know you were there for her, whenever she needed.

You were honest when Keigo asked your opinion on food, TV shows, clothes, movies. It was almost satisfying saying something sucked, just to see Keigo’s face fall slightly, before he shook his head, whining.

“Then help me pick something out! I can’t do it without you-“

He totally could, he was just being a baby.

The more he inserted himself into your life, the more you realized that he was akin to a petulant child, just with muscles and a penchant for inappropriate touching.

Whenever he saw you, he’d try to draw you into a hug, letting his hands drop far down your back, way too low for you to feel comfortable. You’d slap them away, and Keigo would laugh, before ruffling your hair.

He’d have you come over so he could check your quirk suppressor, except he was in the middle of a show, and it was getting to the best part. (“Sit down, shhh, it’s just getting good!”) You’d have to sit through the entire thing, enduring Kiego’s hand lazily drawing shapes over your pants on your thigh, simply putting it back whenever you shoved it off.

He was insufferable, irritating to no end, but you could tell he was a lonely man, bitter about his love life and with his friendships.

So you tolerated his presence.

After all, he wasn’t trying to hurt you. That’s something he reiterated every single time you shied away from his touch. He made you feel like a fool for thinking the man was hitting on you, when he made it so clear that he wasn’t, only interested in friendship.

Until you fell asleep at his house.

Another one of those days were he needed to look at your quirk suppressor (which you were 99% sure was fine, it seemed like he just enjoyed seeing it on your wrist). He had been rummaging around in his room before he had to run and open the front door for you, talking as he walked back to return to his previous task.

Apparently he was trying to find a good shirt, seeing as how he had pants on, but his chest was bare. Keigo instructed you to sit on the bed for a second while he retreated into his massive closet, trying to find a good shirt  to go with the rest of his outfit.

His bedroom was pretty large, a full California King taking up the majority of the space, neatly made. The sheets and blankets felt soft beneath your fingers as you sat on it’s edge, prepared to wait for Keigo for a bit.

The man always took his fashion very seriously - one time he’d even spent two hours trying on clothes until he’d decided on an appropriate outfit to go to the park.

So you followed your tired eyes, exhausted from work and dealing with Keigo, worrying about your friend, daily life stressors and the like.  Keigo wouldn’t mind if you laid back, right? Your feet wouldn’t be on the bed, so it’d be fine.

And it was fine, pleasant, the room the perfect temperature.

You were roughly jerked out of sleep by pressure. Pressure on your hips, pressure on your lips.

Eyes jolting open, you tried to inhale, only to find yourself unsuccessful.

Keigo was on top of you.

Panicking, your hands came to push at him, a muffled sound of protest being squeaked out from where his lips pressed against yours.

Noticing you were awake, Keigo pulled back, smiling the whole while.

“I’m not willing to wait anymore, I just gotta have you.”

His eyes were glinting, hair tousled, still shirtless. You felt goosebumps arise as you remembered the vision you had so long ago, of this exact moment.

“Wai-mmph!” His lips were on yours again, passionate and warm, moving eagerly. A wet tongue pressed at the seam of your mouth, surprising you and making you blanch, which allowed the man access.

Kiego’s tongue explored the inside of your mouth, playfully tapping your own wet muscle, encouraging you to lift it and wrestle with him.

This was too weird, this wasn’t happening, you couldn’t do this-

Biting down hard, you snapped your teeth shut on his tongue, and Keigo yelped, drawing back immediately.

“Ouch, what the fuck!?! Chill out (Y/N), geez.” His hand was dabbing at his mouth, wincing when it came in contact with his bleeding tongue. You had bitten him deep, but you weren’t focused on that right now.

“What are-what are you doing?” Your voice was breathless, disoriented. The room felt…. Dark, and suffocating, as if it was closing in on the two of you, trapping you.

Keigo looked down at you, and it was only then that you realized you had been moved to lie on the bed fully, shoes off, legs splayed. The man rested on his stomach between them, his weight pressed against your body, keeping you still.

“I told you, I can’t wait anymore. I’ve been as nice as I can, but it’s time you started paying me back for everything I’ve done for you.”

What? Paying him back-was he talking about the quirk suppressor he had gifted you? Had he been lying about his true intentions this whole time?

“That’s not right, it was a gift, you-you don’t have to pay back a gift.” You spluttered, feeling as if your chest was collapsing.

Keigo shook his head, swooping down to leave a bloody kiss on your forehead, which you cringed at, before pulling back to speak.

“Nah, it wasn’t a gift. You know how expensive it was? You were always gonna have to compensate me. Now shush, I wanna feel you-“

One of his hands grabbed your jaw, keeping your face turned towards his, pressing down until tears formed in your eyes. His lips were bloody from the bite on his tongue, tasting unmistakably like iron.

You didn’t want this.

Trying to bite him again left you with a slap to your thigh, making you cry out. Keigo huffed out a laugh against your mouth.

He detached from your lips, just to start nibbling at your jawline, elating streaks of red where his lips touched.

“God, you are so sexy. I was trying to chill, but then I came out and you were sleepin’ all cute, and I couldn’t fucking stop myself from touching.”

“Stop doing this, I can pay you with something different. I don’t wanna do this Keigo.” You whispered, on the verge of crying.

“No, I get to decide what you’ll be doing for me, it’s my bracelet-“

“It’s not, you gave it to me, please stop-“

“Shut up.” He growled sinking his teeth into the side of your neck, nipping at the skin hard enough to have you screaming. “You’re so ungrateful, where’s my thanks? I’ve done so much for you.”

“Thank you, thank you Keigo, I appreciate it all-“ You hurried out, hoping it was what he wanted to hear “But I can’t do this, please don’t make me. I wanna go home.”

“There we go, I like the sound of you thanking me. You’re going to thank me for each and every time you cum tonight, got it?”

“No, no, we can’t do this, I can’t! Get off of me, please-“

“You’ll do it, or else I’ll whip you until your flesh hangs off of you in strings.” He hissed, squeezing your jaw cruelly.

The tears in your eyes overflowed as you fell silent.

“Aw, birdie, don’t cry. I’m not gonna hurt you, I never have, right?” He waited for a second, watching your face before he pressed harder, eyes hardening “Right?“

You nodded jerkily, and Keigo came to kiss your tears away, savoring their salty taste as they rolled down your cheeks.

“Keigo, this isn’t right though, please get off me. I don’t want this-“

“You want me to take this away?” A hand caught your shaking wrist, the one that had the quirk suppressor fastened snugly around it, wrenching it up so both of you could see it. “Huh? Put you back where you were in your miserable little life? Running away from everyone, holing up in your apartment, not willing to touch or be touched…”

The very thought made your insides churn, and a fresh round of tears rolled down your face as you shook your head no, lips wobbling as you whined. You felt so pathetic, so small and dumb underneath Keigo.

“That’s what I thought. You’re going to relax now, right? No more begging unless it’s for more.”

He didn’t wait for an answer, beginning to shuffle around until he could slide his hands under your shirt, pressing against your tummy as you flinched away.

“Don’t worry birdie, you’re gonna like every single thing we’re gonna do. You’ve had sex now, yeah? Since I gave you the bracelet?”

You shook your head “no”, it’s not like you were eager for sex before you got it, and all the touching-without-terrifying-visions thing was still new to you, the dating world was being eased into. Somehow though, every single date seemed to be crashed by the man on top of you.

Keigo lit up like a Christmas tree, licking his lips gleefully. “Okay, okay, I can-whew, that’s hot-I can be gentle.” It sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than he was trying to convince you, his hands skirting up your ribs, shucking up your shirt as the traveled higher and higher.

“Keigo please-“

“Don’t you dare say stop, I’m not gonna. You’re the first person that doesn’t want anything from me, you’re real, and I’m not stopping.”

His admission made you cringe, recoiling from his touch. He followed you, palms finally smoothing over your breasts, over your bra.

“You’re going to do what I say, or else this-“ Your wrist was wrenched into view, red-and-black bracelet glittering. “-gets removed. And I’ll still do whatever the fuck I want, but you’ll be off in your mind having visions of who-knows-what while I have my way. Got it?”

Your blood chilled, body suddenly feeling ice cold. His tone was dead serious, spitting out the words with a sense of finality.

“So, just lay there and take it birdie, I’ll be good to you.”

[lovearne]

Chime of the clock - Live with Chip and Jake

All of my fics and my whole page is 18+ only, if you are a child leave. I deserve a safe space to express myself, all blogs under 18 or no age will be blocked. Let me enjoy my experience safely on the internet, thank you.

Word count: 980

Warnings: fluffy Jake, a tad of tiktok trolls, cute friendship alert, Jake is the ultimate himbo

Tiktok has quickly become a regular day activity for the two of you. Jake was more than ready for it too. He also kept pressing the fact that he'd love to do some shirtless ones as well. You agreed, the fans would love a thirst trap from him, you said that he should think of doing one with his race suit on, and he agreed very excitedly. Unfortunately the race units are at the shop, where you can't go. So with that idea floating away with the lock down blues, the two of you just decided that day would be a fun day.

You had wanted to make a video of you teaching Jake how to bake some sweets, but as it turned out, your supplies and food were low. So a grocery shop was highly needed. With the lockdown currently in full effect the two of you sat and started a live video on your shared tik tok page. The page had a cutesy name, Jakey and chip. Chippy had been a nickname you had earned from Jake when he learned most people called you chipmunk, a nickname that carried over from childhood. Jake had recently gotten a free phone upgrade from the people over at Apple, wanting as many famous people to advocate for their new products as possible, so there was an extra phone in which you used to make the Jake and Chip tiktoks, and was currently live streaming.

It didn't take long for people to start pouring in. They came slowly at first but quickly you were over 7k viewers and climbing. You'd never even thought of so many people knowing what your face looked like.

"Morning guys!!" Your cheery voice rang out. "We woke up this morning and were looking forward to baking live with you guys!" You paused to read some of the comments, seeing multiple on how bad you looked this morning.

"It's too bad we don't have the stuff to make the stuff." Jake's disappointed voice pulled you out of your shock at strangers' ability to dampen your mood. "Chippy is amazing at teaching me things. Like the other day they taught me the difference between a bunny and a hare!" You giggle at Jake's cluelessness, admiring the man's ability to always bring the best out in you.

"So we figured we'd sit with you guys and make a grocery list, maybe chat a bit. I know I've been going stir crazy, and I'm sure everyone else is suffering from covid blues as well." You had decided to ignore the comments that kept flooding in about how rough you sound. Instead focusing on Jake and what he's doing. "Anyways, Jake. We need things, let's start up our list."

About halfway done the list Jake notices the comments.

"Oh my god!" He exclaims, startling you as you were writing 'Dino nuggies' ending up with a line straight through your paper. "There are comments! You guys are talking to us!" Jake grabs the phone from its tripod on the table.

" 'have you tried ordering groceries?' Huh, babe did you know you could order groceries?" You scoff.

"Yeah, makes it easier if you have a clear execution map when you get to the store." You say non commitaly and continue to m erase half of the line.

"What?" Your head snaps up, panic flooding your face.

"What?" You repeat the man in front of you. "Wait, what did you mean?" You brush your baby hairs off your face.

"Like online." Jake says.

"Oh, that's been around a while, have you been living under a rock, old man?" Jake gasps out loud as you call him a name you'd never had before.

"I'm not old! I'm only 32." You giggle at his reaction.

"Well I'm almost 20, so you're like 12 years older than me, old man." You giggle as Jake pins you to the couch, softly taking the grocery list and pen from your hands.

"If I'm old, then how come I have no gray hair?" He says in a matter of fact tone.

"OK, ok, get off me, and let's get this list made 'Kay sonic?" You move your hands to grip at his shoulders, but almost as if it were reflex, Jake pinned your hands above your head with one hand around your wrist. "Oh shit, you think you scare me? I mean you surprised me but you don't scare me."

"I KNOW WHAT THIRST TRAP WE SHOULD FILM TODAY!" Jake's sudden poud voice shakes you and your primal response to him pinning you is changed for a confused look.

"OK babes, can we just get the groceries in order first? So we can have them in our possession?" Jake nods, but he doesn't move from where he was currently laying on top of you, only relasing your hands. "OK, I'm gonna make an order for Walmart." Jake nods, laying his head on your chest his face toward the camera he pulling the phone to his face, he reads through some comments, deciding that he was going to answer some questions when you place your order. You were minding your own as you placed the order, watching as the cart icon filled up.

"Some of you are very mean and should be appologising right now." That one caught your attention, running your free hand through Jake's hair you try and soothe him.

"What's wrong babes?"

"Nothing don't worry about it." From that alone you can tell that it was a comment about you.

"OK hun, I've placed the order, should be ready around 6pm." You glance at the clock, showing g that it's 11am and sigh. "I dunno what we're gonna do all day though." Jake smiles, he grabs your hand and leaves a small gentle kiss on the back of it. He was too sweet to you, but you weren't complaining.

Freddie stroma taglist:

@nptnewr @likedovesinthewnd @aprilfire18

Divider credits:

@delishlydelightfuldividers

[luxurybrownbarbie]

Yeah so many young bloggers on here get very popular off of TERRIBLE advice. I can think of three off the top of my head that are between 19 and 22 years old who get 500+ notes per post within hours, and if it’s not pedantic repetitive drivel, it’s something so bizarrely WRONG in every moral sense of the word that I know 95% of people over the age of 25 must scratch their heads in confusion reading it. One particular blog I see people reblogging EVERYWHERE lowkey made an argument based off a cursed tik tok in favor of using MODEL AND BALLERINA DIETS (notable for the prevalence of ED, unhealthiness, and overexertion) to appeal to men by whatever means necessary. Shit got 1500 notes in hours. I was baffled. Another straight up told an anon to give up on her dreams of making six figures and marrying up (not even a millionaire, just a well off man who was comfortable) because she went to a state university and not an Ivy League. Young bloggers are the actual worst.

And this isn’t to say all young bloggers are terrible, I just wish they were more in a receptive energy of learning and expanding their world view than presenting themselves as an authority on life matters. I lived through A LOT by the time I was 21, but I would never have dreamed of telling adults about things I’d never experienced by then. There are literally some things that young people cannot be an authority on because they haven’t lived through it. A 19 year old should not be giving advice on how to navigate your 30s, period. It’s going to be bad.

~~~~~

I… don’t really have anything to add. That’s very worrying. (I have noticed disordered eating is a pattern around these parts).

I am full of pride, but I’ll never tell someone how they should handle their 30s, I’m just excited for mine. 😭

Centering yourself will always be the best way to get what you want out of life. I leverage my looks, I don’t depend on them. I know that at the end of the day, my ambition and belief in myself will always take me over the finish line. I think it takes a minute to recognize that.

[meanautisticenbian]

Fuck it, I'm gonna dissect all the bullshit in that one Lilith post bit by bit

TW// Lilith hate, victim blaming, abuse, cult mention, ableism towards Autistic people, sexualization of minors (briefly mentioned)

I'll be putting my text in bold just in case it's hard to distinguish between the pictures and my commentary

Here's the post I'm referring to in case you're curious

Moving on and starting with this bit

People pay attention to Eda all the damn time, she's literally one of the main characters. Funny how you only mention tik tok and nothing else. Is that the only other social media you have? Because fans on different social media platforms act much differently; on IG and Reddit stuff like the sexualization of minors and fucking ODALIA AND ALADOR STANS are normalized, where everywhere else it's pretty much universally agreed that that stuff is bad. I don't know a lot about what toh Tik Tok is like just because I don't usually go on tik tok, but even if it is like this, it's not the same for the rest of the fandom. A lot of the fandom still hates Lilith and blames her for her abuse and not being able to leave

You say that like she's a bad person, she's really not. The curse she placed on Eda wasn't intended to be permanent and probably wasn't even supposed to take the effects that it did. She was most likely scammed. I mean look at how she reacts when Eda transforms for the first time. She also feels guilty enough about it to throw herself into an abusive situation and spend almost her whole life trying to make up for it. Lastly, yes she hurt Luz, but let's not forget that Belos threatened her life upon Eda's capture and Lilith was running out of time and had no other option. Obviously what she did was wrong but she's not the real monster here.

"I do like Lilith" this entire essay says otherwise.

Literally none of us ignore any of the bad shit she's done, stop lying about us.

Yes, Lilith did mock her for her curse, which was messed up, but we don't actually know for sure if the curse is basically canonically a disability in that world, so if that's the case then for now it's technically not ableism until we get confirmation otherwise.

"it was an accident and I forgive Lilith" no you fucking don't. First of all this entire essay is you talking about how evil you think she is and secondly, if it really was as bad as you view it, you wouldn't be that forgiving.

Ah yes the victim blaming, the one thing that almost everyone does to Lilith and barely anyone talks about.

There is literally not a single Lilith stan out there who blames Eda for getting cursed. You're just mad that your victim blaming towards Lilith got called out so you silence us by lying about how we do the same thing to Eda.

No one is making Eda out to be the villain either, the only example I can find of this is a few fanfics where she treats Lilith a lot more harshly than she should, and even then, scenes like that are written in a positive light as if you're supposed to be on Eda's side, so with that in mind, the writers of these fics are clearly not even Lilith stans. In terms of how actual stans treat Eda, the worst they do is make her slightly ignorant of Lilith's trauma, kinda like the fandom, minus the "slightly", until she grows as a character and learns to see the red flags. If that's the problem you're talking about, then breaking news: Eda's not perfect either. She has flaws too just like literally everyone else in the show and people are allowed to write about them

Tell me the truth: are people making playlists for Lilith that include a lot of sad and angry songs because she's not a happy person anyway so there wouldn't be a point in having any happy songs, or are they making "trauma" playlists? There's a difference

I'm sorry, are you trying to tell me that people recognizing Lilith's trauma is victim blaming Eda? That's not how it works sweetycakes

There is far more Eda angst out there than there is for Lilith, where are you finding so much Lilith angst? LILITH is the one who's traumas are being ignored while Eda's gets all the attention. You're acting like one of those white cis gays on twitter who see black people talking about the anti blackness they experience daily and accuse them of being homophobic because "there is so much homophobia in the world and they still manage to make it all about race".

No one is saying that Lilith has worse trauma, we're only saying that her's is also severe and that it definitely exists. Also funny how you're allowed to be mad at us for comparing Lilith and Eda's trauma (once again lying about us), then you go on to do the exact same thing and say that EDA'S trauma is worse. Even if, hypothetically speaking, Eda did have it worse, that doesn't mean Lilith doesn't have the right to be traumatized. Both of them have trauma, both should be recognized. Also, Lilith had far more going on in her life than just the guilt of her actions, she was was implied to have been psychologically and maybe physically abused, and was probably even tortured. Stop ignoring all the red flags and condemn the actual abuser (Belos) before you criticize anything the abused (Lilith) has done.

We're not making everything about Lilith, like shut up.

Please don't say that autistic people "have autism", it implies that it's something that can be removed from us. For example: you don't say "a person with blackness" when referring to black people or "a woman with homosexuality" when referring to Lesbians.

Oh yeah I'm also autistic so here are MY thoughts

Amity and Lilith are not antagonists anymore, hcing them as Autistic is not villainizing autism.

The autistic Lilith headcanon was made by autistic fans, allistics only latched onto it because they either wanted to be supportive or they saw that she actually had a lot of autistic traits

You're not the only autistic person alive, just because you're not like Lilith or Amity doesn't mean none of us are or they're not autistic. I mean, I know I am

You're not fun or funny

"not all Autistic people are like this" remember that line, dear readers

Actually, I prefer the autistic villain trope MUCH more than the grown ass autistic adult that acts like a five year old trope. At least we'd have less stereotypes associated with us.

Autism is not supposed to be portrayed in only fun and happy characters, that is literally the epitome of stereotyping and infantilizing. You literally just said that not all autistic people are the same, doesn't this count as being all the same? Does this mean I don't exist anymore? Am I just not autistic? Are you even aware that a flat affect or monotone voice is literally a very common autistic trait? You can't just say that we're stereotyping autistics and then just go on to stereotype us, like what the fuck are you even on? Is it only ok when you do it?

Amity is not edgy for fuck's sake

Literally no one is headcanoning Lilith or Amity as autistic because they're mean, we headcanon them as autistic because they actually show traits of it

Oh, our harmless headcanons are making you feel uncomfortable because they don't fit into the stereotypes you made up about us? Good to know our plan is working I guess

Last thing I wanna say regarding this post as a whole: why are you acting like liking Lilith and feeling sympathy for her is a bad thing? If you find this then don't say "I don't think that's a bad thing", answer HONESTLY

Well that's all I have for now, thank you for reading, I need to go to bed soon

[literateleah]

the paradox of emily prentiss’ audience perception and character design

some of y’all about to be real mad at me, but it must be said:

emily prentiss’ character design makes no sense: my personal opinion + an objective analysis

i think it can be challenging to separate the versions of characters we have in our little brains from actual canon content, but doing so is important for understanding what those characters are truly like, especially within the context of their environment and in contrast to others around them. plus developing a deeper understanding of the media we consume is super fun and interesting! with that being said: emily prentiss should not work for the fbi and here’s why (in three parts regarding who’s responsible: cbs, paget, and fans) (sit down and grab a snack i promise this is over 3k words)

quick disclaimer: i don’t dislike emily at all! that’s my girl, i just looked closer and realized some funky things the writers did and felt the need to analyze her of course: so let’s get into it

part one: what cbs did

cbs set the stage for emily’s introduction on the heels of the departure of lola glaudini as elle greenaway! lola has clarified that she decided to leave the show because filming in los angeles was not the best environment for her personally, and after one successful season on a major network (but not much established long term plot or drama beyond elle’s departure as a character) a consistent ensemble cast was required- particularly because the bau had been criticized for being predominantly male in the first few episodes of the show and not much development was given to penelope or jj yet. enter emily prentiss.

for the duration of seasons 2-3ish, emily was framed as a chip off the block that was elle greenaway, just slightly…richer? in her first few episodes emily was hesitantly polite but ambitious, clean cut, intellectually concise and held her own within the team. she seemed equal parts intimidated and frustrated by her male superiors (gideon, hotch) but certainly proves herself among other profilers. her childhood was explored only within reference to her strained relationship with her mother (which was only ever referenced once more after the fact) and we received a short overview of her educational and career history in her first few episodes. emily fit right into the hole elle had left, and didn’t have many major storylines yet.

seasons 4-6 brought a bit more development and depth to emily’s character! she begins dropping more snarky remarks, one liners, and socially deepening her relationships with the other team members. this seems more within the lines of elle’s design, but emily arguably took more time to grow into her place within the team. during the foyet arc she was vulnerable and supportive, and the doyle arc gave her some independence and agency she didn’t have previously. this era also solidified her appearance and persona as more edgy, which falls in line with general fanon perception of her character (especially when compared to jj or penelope). i can’t address this era or season 7 without mentioning that cbs was actively trying to remove paget from the cast, similar to how they did to aj cook as well. paget has spoken about this instance before, and i believe it slightly affected her portrayal of her character, and “lauren” was somewhat of a goodbye for both paget and emily (thus why she wished for mgg to direct since they were best friends).

season 7: in my opinion, one of the best seasons for emily. she was wisened and deeply wounded by her experiences with doyle, which was understandable of course. she returned to the team she loved and learned to appreciate life in a different way, remaining mature during this time period as well! though her departure was a bit less than graceful and sudden at the end of this season, it made sense compared to some other exits the team had seen.

now *sigh* all the rest.

paget as emily appears in two separate guest appearances (once in s9 and once in s11, and she is referenced offscreen as well) before permanently reprising her role as unit chief of the bau. these appearances were most likely to boost ratings and get the team back together (i.e. 200) or just to pepper in international cases (tribute). emily’s personality remains pretty consistent here, just more mature and comfortable in leadership positions (seeing as she is running an entire branch of an international law enforcement organization). then season 12 hit.

upon the departure of thomas gibson as hotch, cbs reached out to paget to see if she would be interested in fulfilling her role as emily within a longer term unit chief position. i’ll get into why this is wack in a few paragraphs, but the remainder of her time on the show is spent on a mature portrayal that seems very distant from her previous versions. emily is more authoritative, gives orders with ease, and has no qualms about leading a team of agents or even receiving promotion offers as director of the entire bureau.

thus concludes a general summary of the canon content cbs gave us as viewers. now let's talk about what they didn’t give us, regrettably

the primary aspect of emily’s design that comes to mind for many is her queer coding. though not much was to be expected from cbs, a prime time cable tv network, each of her relationships on the show (all with men) seemed oddly forced, and without much chemistry as compared to the SOs of other main characters. rumors of scrapped plotlines have floated around about what may have been, but the ultimate lack of acknowledgement of any queer characters in the main ensemble still leaves a feeling of disappointment to audiences, and leaves more to be desired as for how emily navigates social bonds.

part two (sidebar): what paget did

i think it could be agreed within audiences that paget brewster’s portrayal of emily made the role what it was! her dry witty delivery and emotional prowess combined with sitcom acting experience made her performance a mainstay for years. i think she did the best she could with a confusing and at times flat characterization, and brought the role to life.

paget also heavily contributes to fanon indirectly with her comments outside of the show (press, cameos, twitter etc). her general continued interest and fondness for the role post production affects fan perception, particularly in what she chooses to elevate and comment on. she and aj have both spoken about viewing jemily content, and paget and thomas have both also commented on hotchniss. most cast members feel free to comment on their characters in the appropriate timing, and seem open to discussing fanon ships and theories outside of canon!

part three: what fanon did

as we can tell from this fan space as well as the presence on insta, tik tok and twitter, fans LATCHED onto emily super quickly. she’s remained a favorite over the years, and this fan persistence is what brought her back so many times after leaving (so many times). in my opinion, queer coding and a bolder female trope (in contrast to her female counterparts) are the main pulls because they resonated with so many fans- new and old. with that being said, newer fans of the show in the past year in particular have been heavily influential in fanon, solely because of the large influx of fan content and popularity of it.

fan content began to take coding and bite size moments and snippets from the show as canon, and cemented it into much of the content and discourse they created. these small pieces of emily’s character are significant, but have become magnified by how easily they are to share and edit. for example, a collection of catchy one liners from emily over the seasons makes for a great video edit intro, or gifset! there’s absolutely no problem with this content, it just all combines to create a certain fanon perception no character escapes (this isn’t a phenomenon limited to emily or the cm fandom!)

these droves of content also solidified emily’s personality as much more defined, but at the same time, simplified it in a way that’s slightly harder to explain.

fanon: more emo/goth than canon basis

fanon: more introverted/anti social than canon basis

fanon: more violent/chaotic when canon emily is relatively well mannered and doesn’t start many conflicts (particularly in the workspace)

fanon: much less maternal when canon emily displays desire on multiple occasions (even crossing professional borders) for children, particularly teenage girls (possibly projection)

(again, nothing wrong with this interpretation at all and it still varies! This is just a generalization based on most of the popular content i have seen)

part 4: why it doesn’t work

let me start with this: emily prentiss does not like her job.

we don’t receive much in depth information about emily’s internal feelings and thoughts towards her mother beyond resentment. this stems from wanting to make it on her own, as a professional and as an individual (cough cough college deposits). this makes emily’s insistence on proving herself to authority figures in her earlier seasons is interesting to watch in different circumstances. she cites her experience and denies help from her mother when justifying her placement in the bau to hotch, she is extra vigilant about being helpful on her first case with gideon, etc. nevertheless, emily forges her own path outside of diplomacy and becomes a successful profiler and agent, with the help of her privilege, wealth and name whether she likes it or not. but if we read between the lines and fill in the blanks cbs neglected, these ambitions may subconsciously be oriented towards pleasing her mother.

example one: emily’s authority issues go further than just “rebellion” or “anarchy”, she frequently questions the ethics and sustainability of the work that the bau does. every team member does this, but emily much more so than anybody else.

in “amplification”, emily almost breaks federal protocol to inform civilians of anthrax threats. she butts heads with both hotch and rossi on this front, and ends the episode with having a conversation with rossi about the ethics of lying in their line of work. emily resigns to a solemn “it be like that” and moves along, accepting this reality.

on multiple different occasions emily laments to derek about the darkness she sees on the job, and it’s shown that this gets to her quickly on particularly bad cases. this is another contradiction of the design that she can supposedly “compartmentalize” better than others on the team, when she cannot unless the lives of others are at risk (doyle arc, s7 finale).

emily also responds in this way to many cases involving children, a similarity to jj many don’t notice upon first watching the series. “seven seconds” and “children of the dark” come to mind, during the latter in which emily is prepared to cross multiple professional lines to adopt a teenage girl left orphaned by the case, until hotch stops her and establishes that her emotions can’t rule her judgement on the job. regardless of hotch’s thoughts about her attempted caretaking abilities, these actions and impulses deeply contradict the typical bureaucratic pathways of the work the bau does.

the looming reputation of her mother’s diplomatic history hangs over emily, and after going to law school and working for the cia, she most likely did want to forge her own path as far away from being a socialite: being a spy. her inner nature doesn’t always reflect this profession, and leads me to believe that with her knowledge of psychology, law procedure and care for children: emily prentiss might be more inclined to working in social work, placing suffering children and teenagers in homes they deserve.

and finally, the hill i will die on: emily prentiss was an bad unit chief

this wonderful post touches on my general sentiment, but there were many reasons as to why emily prentiss’ career arc makes little to no sense (plot holes included).

first: her background. emily attended chesapeake bay university as well as yale and achieved a ba in criminal justice. keep in mind that though timelines evidently don’t exist in the cm universe, emily prentiss is ONE YEAR older than aaron hotchner (for context). in her first episode, she professes that she has worked for the bureau for a little under ten years in midwestern offices- something the audience laters knows to not be true. emily worked with the cia and interpol as a part of a profiling team and undercover agent up until roughly TWO YEARS before her canon introduction. plot holes and time gaps aside, this makes me wonder, why didn’t she just say the cia was a backstop without revealing the highly confidential nature of her work with doyle (similar to jj’s state department backstop and cover story)? penelope or hotch could have easily accessed her file and seen that she did not in fact have experience with the bureau in midwestern offices recently, and given the fact that erin strauss set up her bau placement, i’m presuming these formalities or references were overlooked.

second: her experience within the team. emily worked as a part of the bau with the bureau for roughly 6 or 7 years. after this, she is invited to run the entire london branch of interpol, one of the most renowned international law enforcement organizations. i’m surely not the most knowledgeable on requirements or standard timelines for such matters, but with the fact that emily had never led a team in her life (not in the bau or interpol previously) and had roughly 10 years of field experience, i don’t believe she would have ever realistically been considered eligible to run the whole london department.

third: her return to the bureau. fanon depiction of their relationship aside, if you believe aaron hotchner’s last wish before going into witsec was to entrust his team to emily prentiss, you’re dead mistaken. bringing emily back was clearly a pull for ratings after the loss of two main characters (hotch and derek), but logistically a bad decision. let’s suppose emily has had 4 or 5 years of experience in london now, this established authority position would be unlikely to change at the drop of a hat, even for old teammates or friends. also considering how close they were after a decade of working closely in bureaucratic and field contexts, i firmly believe hotch would have referred jj for the job of unit chief but that’s another discussion for another time.

emily’s reign as unit chief is odd, because of the many chaotic storylines crammed into it. but amidst bad writing and viewings plummeting, emily’s character is completely flattened. completely. emily is unrecognizable, both in appearance (that god awful wig) and personality. at times she acts as a complete wise authority, giving orders and delegating local authorities as hotch did. but at other times she makes multiple illegal, emotional, and incorrect judgement calls based on personal circumstances that lead to further chaos (deleting the recording of her and reid’s mexico conversation and reprimanding luke in “luke” for the exact same thing she did in season 6 even though she enabled her to do so come to mind).

i’m not sure if this is due to paget trying to find her footing in the role again, or the writer’s bad decisions towards the end of the show wrecking any previous design for their ensemble. then, there’s the infamous “wheels up” scene in s13e1. notoriously cringey, this seems like a vague caricature of something rossi would say many years in the past (the same goes for her pep talk in “red light” in the hunt for diana reid). these moments are meant to mature emily in the audience’s eye, but instead completely removed her from who we understood her to be, and made her an unreliable leader.

part five: and why it does

in theory, emily was a bolder foil to jj, similar to elle who she arguably replaced at first. she came into her own, and stands as a more uniquely developed character than almost any other in the main ensemble. she isn’t as maternal or domestically inspiring as canon jj, less bright and sunny than penelope, not quite as stoic or intimidating as derek or hotch. And yet at the same time, she’s a fairly blank slate. stripping fanon content away entirely, canon emily has few defining traits (all of which are constantly changing), and that may be the key to why we love her so much.

[a-shakespearean-in-paris]

Why Cullen?

Today I bring you a post I’ve been in the process of mentally drafting for a while, a post that essentially analyzes the age old question in the Dragon Age fandom: Why is there always something with Cullen?

To do this, I am going to go through different “phases” of Cullen discourse. My thesis and answering the titular question: It’s complicated, and I don’t think I can answer “Why Cullen,” but “there’s sometimes recycled discourses made about his character through the years, maybe there’s a pattern.” When it comes to Cullen’s detractors, I understand the fact that it might be frustrating to see much content for someone so “boring” when there’s more “interesting” and “well done” characters (though interest is of course relevant) so it leads to a lot of vitriol from both new and old fans who think the man had too much screen time already. Furthermore, he is highly complicated man dressed as a Disney prince, and the “Disney-esque” feel of his romance creates a dissonance between coming to terms with his problematic past and reveling in the romanticism. We can have a happy medium everyone,  but because of what I can only describe as “tik tok thought” it’s become looked down upon to have problematic favorites, which leads to guilt in liking something problematic, or outright revisionism.

But liking things with problematic elements doesn’t make you a bad person.

Alright, let’s begin: 

The first phase truly began of course with DAO with Cullen’s crush on the female Circle Mage Warden. Some were endeared, others not so much. I cannot speak to this phase too much as I was around 15-16 and pretty preoccupied with my high school drama instead of fandom, though I played both DAO and DA2 upon it’s release and followed updates for DA2 before it came out. Despite not being an active fandom member I was what they would call, a lurker. I knew some people liked Cullen and thought he was cute, wishing for more screen time after the game and hoping he’d be in DAI through IMDB message boards (remember those?) and YoutTube comments. When news broke he’d be an advisor in DAI and a romance option, I remember seeing a lot of people in those same spaces rejoice. I’m sure there were also people who weren’t so pleased, but from what I saw, people were happy. When Inquisition did release, I actually did quite a bit more lurking on tumblr despite the fact I didn’t have a blog, because I played the romance route, really gravitated toward it, and wanted to see fanart and such. People liked the romance, liked his arc and how Bioware handled his struggles with lyrium; and found it realistic. Even in my lurking days I did see some blowback on Cullen from detractors, those who didn’t think he should have been the military advisor (which canonically it makes total sense to me why he’s where he’s at, but I won’t get into it here however.) But likely because I wasn’t fully “in fandom,” my surface level understanding of how tumblr felt about Cullen was relatively positive and there was only standard fare discourse.

Phase 2: I can speak about this phase better because I established this blog in 2017. Two years after DAI was released, you still had a lot of fans who loved his romance and character, but you also saw a lot of those fans really dive into his flaws, insisting even that just focusing on the Disney Prince aspects of him reduced his character. There were also more internal debates. Would realistically Cullen be a good father was one. One thing however was for sure, there was a strange them and us line between detractors and fans, and to many fans, myself included, oftentimes the Cullen blowback would extend beyond the valid, “hey I don’t think his characterization was handled well” or “his redemption arc isn’t that great” to outright vitriolic hate that blatantly ignored his PTSD and lyrium addiction, and even sometimes “you just like Cullen because he’s white.” As a POC fan it was a fantastic thing to be accused of. I used to be more involved with discord during this period and I remember a few discussions about this as well. Even those indifferent to Cullen didn’t get it.

Overall, I have to say the air was one where people in Cullen fandom enjoyed all aspects of him, from delving into this troubled past to indulging in the Disney prince aspects of him. It was a happy medium I think, even if occasionally I would see a Cullen fan feel bad for liking him, and feel like they needed to justify it. Heck I even did and still do feel that way sometimes, like I need to justify what I like. But we all come into fandom for different reasons. I come into fandom some days for different things. Sometimes I want smut with my favorite character, other times I want more intense thought pieces and challenging fics. Great thing about fandom is that it’s a bakery that has cherry tarts, cinnamon rolls, or all kinds of pie depending on your mood. Craving a different sweet treat, you can make your own. Or you can commission an artist or writer for something you fancy.

*(sexual assault mentions here late in the paragraph****)And now I’ve been warped back into Cullen/DA fandom through what I am calling phase three, where the general air on Cullen reads as….very different. After having one foot outside DA fandom for a while coming back and reading the air has been different. There was the bizarre nuggetgate and other things with Cullen. Now, instead of accepting his flaws and exploring him there seems to be a lot of revisionism going on, as if his past never happened or we’re supposed to ignore he was a templar. A sexually active Cullen is looked down upon but in a different way from before. Instead of smut works with him “reducing his complicated character.” it’s distasteful to write smut with him where he’s sexually dominant or even just a lot of smut because he was sexually assaulted. (***Now, it is implied that he was, if you are a female Circle mage in DAO, with “sifting through my thoughts, tempting me with the one thing I always wanted but could never have” but this is an implication. I will be honest, it is what I have implied. However, it’s not there if you’re not a female Mage. He was however canonically sexually harassed in the Winter Palace, something I will always argue, even if canon treats it like a joke, even if Leliana tells him to “just look pretty.” Just because he is a man doesn’t make it funny that someone grabbed his bottom, and if you take Cole he flat out says “Cullen is afraid.”***)

So here I am, wondering what changed and what’s going on. Here’s what I believe: Cullen is a complicated character and his flaws and his past make him interesting to me, and they are interesting to explore. However there is nothing wrong with wanting to just explore a romantic, sexual Cullen. He’s a character with many facets. He’s romantic, determined, nostalgic, stubborn, unrelenting, loyal, driven, all things that made him seem so real. Here we get to my theory: in today’s media “criticisms” I see people—particularly younger people—beat themselves up for liking something problematic. It’s like every time you engage with media that’s potentially problematic you have to write essays to yourself why it is so and hold yourself accountable. I see this on tik-tok a lot and why I refer to it as “tik tok thought.” Look at the way some young Hamilton fans talk about the musical, or heck even here, and you may see what I mean. It’s like if you don’t acknowledge the problematic aspects of the historical figures behind their fictional portrayals in the show you’re a bad person. Same thing with nostalgic Disney fans my age in younger, if you don’t clown on Ariel for “choosing a man over anything” (SHE LIKED THE SURFACE WORLD BEFORE SHE MET ERIC) you don’t get your brownie points.

I want to make it clear: being critical of media is good. I am glad I see young people and people my age think about the messages we are given in media, but somehow this is turned into ANALYZE EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME. Ya’ll I’m a grad student. I’m critical most of the time, when I come to my tumblr blog’s lawn I’m here mostly to have some fun, and hey sometimes my fun is being critical. But sometimes it isn’t. You do not have to always be critical. You do not have to beat yourself up for liking something that’s problematic or write an essay about why it is as if that’s your due diligence in stanning a fictional character. I’m going to be honest I used to kind of think I had to justify my likes once, especially because of the Cullen vitriol on tumblr. I worked overtime in my early fanfic efforts to try to prove to the world I knew Cullen was problematic for fear I’d be perceived as just an idiot horny fangirl. Well, let me tell you: I largely don’t think that way anymore. If I want to just enjoy writing some smut or reading some smut with him, I am. But I think there is a second part of this in Cullen fandom currently, a revisionism of his problematic elements. Now, if you have to do mental gymnastics with a character in an effort to ignore problematic elements, perhaps you don’t like the character that much. That’s totally okay. DA has many awesome characters to write about and stan.

So, why Cullen? For so many reasons a bit of a shit show has always followed this character. There’s a divide between fans and his detractors and sometimes there’s a divide within the Cullen fandom. What I can extrapolate for now is the need to keep him squeaky clean and safe and away from anything “problematic” because his of past, his templar roots, or the fact that he’s white when there are POC characters with less content. It reads as a guilt associated with liking him. But please, do not be guilty. He’s not real. Templars aren’t real, mages aren’t real, Cullen isn’t real. Here’s my advice, something I learned while in my directing class in college. What my teacher always said was direct what turns you on, direct a story that gets you thinking, gets you excited. What gets you thinking and excited in a fictional world may be tons of conflict and dramatics, or it may be peace and love. Sometimes it can be both or more. Don’t shame others for coming to a bakery and wanting blueberry when you want cherry, and the baker has both, especially if the baker labels each pie, especially if the recipe for the pie has some salt in it and people like the salt. We can have it all and enjoy it all. What we want in our fiction doesn’t always align with something we may want real life. Lots of people write Modern girl in Thedas stories. Ya’ll if that actually happened to one of us it would probably suck. I’d probably get killed and not even get to meet Cullen and pose around the desk to get things going, so I’d rather it not happen. However, it is fun to read about.

Again, don’t be guilty for liking Cullen, please. But if you have to do a lot of mental gymnastics to like Cullen, maybe you don’t like him at all. To that I say, there are many other amazing characters, or perhaps you could write your own.

[uwua3]

if it's ok 😳👉👈 i really love your writing and i've had this idea in my head for awhile but i can't get myself to write it on my own 🤔 i wanted to see how your spin would be on it- so can i request a prompt where reader gets jealous of tenma's co-actress in a romance and tries to mimic what she does to him in a show they're in?? ty!!! 💕💕💕 i look forward to your interpretation

thank you so much for requesting~ ♡ i love you sososo much; i hope this lives up to everything you’ve dreamed of! ♡ ～('▽^人) i LOVE YOU!!! <333

summary: when tenma lands a role in your favorite drama, he had one goal: to become your favorite actor

warnings: envy/jealousy, food mentions, rivalry (all covered briefly!)

author’s note: after learning everything there is to know about the k-drama, true beauty, on tik tok, i’ve decided to write this! for context, the only thing i recommend watching before reading this is watching the “roar” scene!

this is also the first time i’ve introduced made-up characters with names! please enjoy jun, the first character who isn’t canon to the a3!verse :D

word count: 3,768

music: like a movie – b1a4

pretty u!

🌻☀️ sumeragi tenma

what the heck was love, and why did he have to be in it?

sumeragi tenma, future “world’s best actor”, was suddenly... seeing why he hadn’t won that award yet. with a script in his hand and confusion in another, tenma read the title of the next drama he landed the role for

“PRETTY U...” it was japan’s next major love story, advertised on every social media platform possible with the all-star cast in the spotlight already. although it had already been out for a season, tenma was entering as the up-and-coming newest character of the series

tenma was boyish, young, and much too confident for his age—perfect for the role of a second-lead bad boy who was going to steal the heart and test the protagonist’s commitment

except... he didn’t actually want to take up a new project so soon. he only did because—

“what?! you’re going to be chan on PRETTY U?!” he proudly nodded and watched as you began ranting about how much you loved this show. there was only one reason he came to the audition: tenma wanted to star in your favorite television series

you always went on and on about how great everything about PRETTY U was. after hearing so much and pretending not to listen (even if he could practically explain the entire plotline now without watching it), tenma let himself become a fan, too

after all, how could he not be a fan when you loved PRETTY U so much?

tenma didn’t respond to his manager’s pleas until one day, you revealed another reason why PRETTY U was your favorite production: the main lead

“he’s so handsome~ i love him so much!” “do you know him? could you get me his number?” “look at him... he’s the most perfect actor in the business right now—ah, sorry ten!”

tenma scoffed every time, claiming he could most certainly do better than that hotshot. although the boys typically didn’t do the same type of television, he had become tenma’s #1 rival without even knowing it

besides... what did that guy have that tenma didn’t? he was just nice! sure, he held open the door for the lead, bent down to tie her shoes, bended over backwards just to be the perfect boy-next-door. yeah... even he couldn’t pretend anymore

tenma pouted at the thought, skimming over his next pilot episode for rehearsal tomorrow. he was too good to be real, after all, he was meant to end up with the lead girl anyways (spoiler alert!)

but, it didn’t matter how perfect that actor was! because tenma had gotten the role of “chan”, the leather-jacket wearing mystery with an actual heart of gold, and he was going to make the entire audience swoon

(though, tenma just wanted to make your heart skip a beat when he ended up on the big screen)

tenma would never admit how fast he checked his phone when he felt it buzz in his pocket. sure, it was unprofessional during rehearsal but he knew it was you. however, his smile dropped the moment he read what you sent

you: remember to tell him how much i love him!

tenma: hah... no good luck for your new bad boy?

you: you know i’ll always root for you, ten!

tenma: but, i’m better than that actor, right?

tenma watched his message get delivered and was about to keep bothering you until someone called his name like they were friends. speak of the devil...

that actor’s straight, white toothy smile made tenma stand a little straighter (damn it, tenma was shorter), eyes wide as the actor gracefully introduced himself as his co-star for the next month or so (how did his voice sound even better in person?!)

“good morning, tenma! my name is jun, i’m so honored to meet a fellow actor on set! let’s work together well!” were they... really the same age? tenma barely registered the fact he was suddenly shaking jun’s (right, that’s his name) hand. why did he have such a manly grip?

tenma quickly (to his dismay) found out that him & jun had entered the industry around the same time but often had different projects, so they were never featured in the same production before. apparently, that was creating quite a buzz in the media that two childhood stars were competing against one another

a competition that tenma couldn’t lose. he was going to be your favorite actor, not his rival!

jun, like the perfect gentleman everyone described him to be, showed tenma around the PRETTY U set. jun had nothing but good things to say about the crew and vise versa. that only reinforced how tenma was oddly much more quiet than he usually was. luckily, one of the talents of being an actor was improvising, so jun was doing just fine

when they had reached the dressing rooms, jun shot a bright smile at tenma and gestured to the rather large room

“we’ll be sharing a dressing room together, tenma! we’ll be spending a lot of time together!”

tenma suddenly regretted his decision to become chan of PRETTY U. you couldn’t have had a different favorite show?! anything but... this

there were now three main characters for PRETTY U: hoshi, yuri, and chan, creating a love triangle for millions of viewers to watch every week

nakamura jun, leading role, played “hoshi”, the boy-next-door. this is the popular boy at school with the best grades and an even greater reputation amongst everyone. next, uedo ren, one of japan’s rising female actresses of this generation. she is adored as “yuri”, the perfect girl. she is the typical nerd who suddenly transformed into the prettiest girl at school from learning make-up

last (but definitely not least!) is sumeragi tenma, playing “chan”, the bad boy. it was nothing like tenma’s done before, since the character was much less expressive than he was used to. chan is a traditional rebel who is revealed to have a soft side for yuri. but, chan (ironically enough) has a secret history with hoshi, causing tension in this already confusing love triangle

(embarrassingly enough, jun had to explain to tenma the complications and ties between each character. tenma, unfortunately, found it to be extremely helpful)

even with this newfound knowledge of the characters in season 2, tenma couldn’t help but absolutely ruin the first day of rehearsals. even with a decade or so of acting as his experience, one thing kept him from being chan: his lack of chemistry with “yuri”

“cut!” the director called out again for the nth time, sighing as their eyes landed on tenma, who was not enjoying being the center of attention this time, surprisingly

“take 5, kid. once you come back, i expect you to actually go through this scene without messing up your lines.” tenma nodded and exited quickly, feeling flustered from the looks of sympathy directed his way. usually, it was one-and-done. it didn’t take a hundred tries just to do another romantic and cliché scene

tenma exhaled loudly once he felt the fresh air upon his face. without the fear of cameras in his face anymore, tenma ran his hand through his hair with a frustrated kick at the concrete. come on! he was renown child actor sumeragi tenma, why was he so in his head now?

tenma was about to yell into the sky before he heard someone close the door, standing beside him with their usual silence. tenma didn’t even have to look to know it was jun (probably with the most pitiful look ever)

“tenma? are you okay?” jun waited as tenma tried to not say anything he’d regret, shifting his weight on his foot back and forth before relenting, shrugging as if it couldn’t be helped

“i don’t know... i just, i can’t see yuri that way. how am i supposed to flirt with someone i don’t even like?”

jun pondered the thought for a moment, before tilting his head, a boyish smile overtaking his features. tenma unwillingly relaxed; jun finally looked his age

“who do you like then?”

tenma froze, a blush even foundation couldn’t hide blossoming on his cheeks. jun let out a teasing “oooh!” as he nudged tenma with his shoulder, who pushed back with an eye-roll

“i-it’s not like that! don’t be so—ugh!” tenma cut himself off, rubbing the back of his neck and avoiding jun’s knowing eyes. damn it, they barely knew each other. why was he getting so comfortable with his enemy?!

“well, whoever you thought of, imagine yuri as them.”

“is that what you do?”

jun shrugged, not giving a clear answer for once. before tenma could ask for more information, their break was over

when tenma returned to the scene, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes. when he opened them again, he watched as yuri transformed into the one person he’s been trying to impress this entire time: you

when “you” smiled, tenma couldn’t help but follow along. his first-take after break made the cut for the final product

“you must really like them, tenma~” — “stop!!!”

filiming afterwards became easy, especially when he imagined all his romantic words were directed towards you. he could feel the clamminess of his hands, the rapid beat of his heart, the intense blush across his face, all at the thought of you

(the only time he had to start over was when he accidentally said your name instead of yuri’s)

tenma was sure he’d become your favorite actor now! after all, you were his favorite person

“will you watch the first episode of PRETTY U’s season 2 with me?”

you had never said yes so fast in your entire life. when tenma learned there’d be a cast-viewing of episode 1 after finishing the season, he knew his +1 invite could only go to the biggest fan of the show

throughout filming, you were always the person who got him in trouble when the text tone wasn’t put on silent. you liked spamming tenma with a bunch of supportive and encouraging messages when you were available, meaning tenma always had something to look forward to after each scene

in return, tenma would send a selfie of him with his castmates or the set (or, what he was allowed to show under his contract). yet, despite your constant pleas, there was one co-star he’d never take a photograph with: jun

(“tenma! we’ve worked together for months~ shouldn’t i be called your friend now?” “no—” “huh?! don’t pretend you don’t like me!” “who said i was pretending?” “tenma!”)

at first, tenma was apprehensive about inviting you to an event where jun’s picture-perfect face would be on display everywhere. but, whenever he saw you, the weight of the tickets suddenly felt much heavier in his pocket. he couldn’t deprieve you of such an exclusive event just because of his jealousy (even if he was this close to doing so)

when tenma impulsively asked three days before, it felt worth it when you threw your arms around him (he hugged you back and pretended this meant something to you)

“i love you, ten!”

tenma felt like he was on set again, with yuri’s arms tightly holding onto his heart

“i love you, too.”

even after saying it so many times, tenma meant it even if he didn’t say it to your face every time

you looked like the star of the show

tenma fixed his tie as his blazer suddenly felt too tight. you appeared in your most formal attire, looking like a million bucks as you two sat across each other in the limo

“ten, look at all of this!” you pointed out every little thing of preparing for a professional event. the little glasses of champagne neither of you two could drink sat to the side as the leather seats molded to fit your posture. as the night lights of tokyo blurred by, tenma couldn’t help but think you sparkled more than this diamond of a city

“i can’t wait to go see the first episode! thank you for inviting me.” you bowed your head, as if suddenly overcome with gratefulness. tenma lightly kicked your shoe with his, fondly rolling his eyes as he tried not to smile (mission failed)

“don’t worry about it, who else would i bring? you’re my favorite pe—friend. friend, yeah...” tenma trailed off, suddenly finding something very interesting outside of the window. you only nodded, seemingly more interested in the fact there was enough room to walk around

when tenma caught sight of the infamous red carpet laid out in front of the theatre, he cleared his throat and put on his best face for the cameras. after stepping out of the car with his bodyguards nearby, tenma turned and gave you a genuine smile. not his typical arrogant smirk the news source ate up, but a type of smile only reserved for you

when he held out his hand, the flashing lights behind him seemed like a real celebrity, something you had never considered him to be before. it was like seeing tenma in a new light (both literally and figuratively)

“shall we?” you took his hand and wondered if you could ever have your own j-drama. perhaps, tenma could even be the main lead...

before you could step off to the side, tenma already had his arm wrapped around your waist with his unchanging expression (however, underneath it all, he was internally freaking out. what was he going to do now?!)

“you’re my date, right? walk the red carpet with me.” tenma winked (you swore it sparkled) as he gestured towards the carpet ahead. suddenly, the line seemed much longer

“t-ten... you’ve never brought a date before...” you mumbled, acutely aware of how soon it was to walk down together. tenma’s arm stiffened, but nothing else exposed the revelation as he looked down at you

“you’re my first, then.” and my last, tenma thought to himself. before you could change your mind, it was showtime. tenma put on his movie star face and introduced you to familiar interviewers, smiling away as if you two weren’t panicking on the inside

while you were focusing on the fact you were going to be going viral as tenma’s first “date” to the event, tenma was trying not to blush from how close you were. you felt... right besides him

tenma was a natural in front of an audience waiting for him to make a mistake. he flawlessly answered every question with swaggering confidence, his stride easy and poses photogenic

you did your best to follow his lead but it all ended when tenma took you into the theatre, staring down at you with a bright smile

“we did it! see, told you we’d be just fine.” tenma let out an exhale of relief, glowing with joy from the adrenaline of everything that came with being a superstar. as you looked up into his excited eyes, you saw him lean down before—

“your arm is still around me.”

silence, then a hurried separation as tenma put too many feet between you two. it was suddenly as if you two were strangers. you regretted the words the moment they left your mouth; you didn’t mind at all... why did you say something?!

“um... so, food?” tenma spoke up after an eternity of making excuses. you two quickly moved to the line of movie snacks, using candy and popcorn to substitue the suddenly awkward silence

when tenma ordered all your favorites without even asking, he turned around with the selection only to close his eyes and internalize every single thing he was feeling because there he was, his worst enemy

jun entered from a side door, most likely finishing up helping the crew with set-up (and 30 minutes early as usual) before catching tenma’s iconic bright orange hair, a grin lighting up his face

“tenma! it’s me, jun!” he said, as if they weren’t the two main leads of japan’s most famous drama so far. immediately, your smile matched jun’s as you watched as your favorite actor of all time make his way towards you two

“jun... of course you’d be here.” tenma said through gritted teeth, forcing a pleasant smile even with an armful of junk

“ah, still keeping the bad boy attitude? we’re off set now, you can stop method acting now.” jun joked, bringing his attention to you with a dazzling smile that would absolutely make any fansite’s career

“oh? who is this, a friend of yours?” tenma tried not to sigh so loud when you couldn’t help yourself and burst into a long rant about how amazing jun was. tenma waited until you reached your midpoint and stopped you with a quick nudge, trying not to scream (could jun stop being so... perfect? could you stop being so cute?!)

when tenma introduced you, he stood a little closer as he tried to maintain his jealousy. “they’re my date, by the way.” no one had asked, but tenma was clearly telling anyone who was around you two had gone together

jun’s eyes lit up in recognition as he let out a noise of surprise. “ah~ so this is who you—”

tenma didn’t regret losing his giant popcorn so fast to a co-star who could only be silenced with food. his wallet could afford another one, anyways. his pride on the other hand? could not let you know his acting secret already

“what was jun going to say?” you asked after you two departed for the viewing room. tenma nonchalantly pretended like everything was okay as he guided you to front row

“probably something about the fact you’re the one who always interrupts our scenes.”

“hey! my texts make your day, don’t lie!”

“go sit down and eat already, jeez.”

when it began, your eyes couldn’t leave the screen. it was better than you could have imagined. everything was perfect, it exceeded the standards of even the toughest fans out there. you loved every second of it... except...

tenma was too good at being chan. even with his bright hair, the dark clothes he wore made him appear intimidating, with his sharp eyes and even sharper smirk. chan’s appearance was tough, rough, and mean, everything tenma wasn’t

yet, you still couldn’t help but feel your heart sink when chan was clearly in love with yuri. yuri was one of your favorite characters by far, but she ended up bothering you for the entireity of the episode

especially every time she shared a scene (which were many times) with chan. chan was revealed to be a bad boy with a heart of gold, all with a special soft side for yuri

what was this feeling? were you... no, you couldn’t be! after all, you had never seen tenma that way before, right? yet, every time chan made an exception for yuri, you felt sick to your stomach

was it possible that tenma liked the actress who played yuri? you snuck a glance at tenma, only to see he was looking at you already (he’d never admit it, but he was watching your reactions to see if he made you proud. yet, every time you saw him, you subconsciously frowned)

were you not proud of him? did you not like his performance as chan?

before tenma could ask you, the scene changed into one of chan’s. he was standing outside in the school uniform, his head ducked as he swiped through yuri’s social media. before he could look up, yuri jumped in front of him with a teasing smile

“roar!” she called out, referring to their inside joke earlier in the episode. yuri cutely bounced back with another roar, holding her hands up like paws. chan watched, his typical rock-hard expression breaking to reveal his developing feelings for yuri

later on, chan stopped yuri in the hallway, other students watching as the school’s bad boy and goddess interact

“do that again.” chan demanded to which yuri innocently tilted her head, confused like a little puppy. “do what?” “that... that thing.” when chan roared, tenma sunk into his seat with an embarrassed defense and explanation ready. but, when he looked, you finally cracked a laugh at his little roar

your smile only fell when yuri roared again as a joke, but chan smiled for once. tenma wondered why... he thought you would be so happy to be here with him. maybe, he’d never be better than jun...

when the episode ended, it took a moment before you stood up and clapped. tenma followed along, but all he could think about was how he let you down. not only as chan, but as your boy, too

when you two left the room, you two hung back to watch as everyone congratulated one another on the success of the production. in the midst of the cheer and celebration, tenma felt small as he watched your blank expression

what did he do wrong? he put his best efforts into every scene; he might even say it was his best work yet. before he could apologize, you did the unthinkable: you roared

you jumped up into his face, holding your hands up like yuri did. when yuri did it, tenma didn’t feel a thing. but, when you did, tenma felt it. the butterflies fluttered in his stomach as he stared at you, frozen in place

“this is the part where you ask me to do it again.” you shyly trailed off, about to put your hands down before tenma weakly put his hands up, knowing he was about to regret his next move (if the embarrassment didn’t kill him, he didn’t know what would)

“roar!”

that was too loud, wasn’t it? the room suddenly went a lot more quiet as they turned their attention towards a teen actor roaring at his date

“yah! why didn’t you ask me the next line?”

“b-because... i know i like you even without you doing, that, again.”

you paused, taken back by his honesty. as tenma contemplated just falling onto the floor right then and there, you suddenly hardened your expression, standing up straighter with your arms crossed

“do that again.”

“do what?”

“that thing.”

when tenma roared again, much quieter this time, you nodded as you finally smiled genuinely for the first time ever since that episode started

“good, i know how chan feels now. i like you, too.”

“does that mean i’m your favorite actor now?”

(when jun released a video of tenma roaring online, he captioned it with “ROAR = ILY!!!” tenma realized maybe he wasn’t all that bad, but still)

[belovedbangtan]

Simple Things | jjk

🅁🄴🅀🅄🄴🅂🅃🄴🄳

||| Masterlist |||

𝙿𝙰𝙸𝚁𝙸𝙽𝙶: Boyfriend!Jungkook x Reader

𝚆𝙾𝚁𝙳 𝙲𝙾𝚄𝙽𝚃: 3.5k

𝚂𝚄𝙼𝙼𝙰𝚁𝚈: Based on the song Simple Things by Miguel! Highly recommend listening to the song before reading! (song fic request are my FAV, give me more please!?)

𝚆𝙰𝚁𝙽𝙸𝙽𝙶𝚂: Weed Smoking, Language, Sexual Content: grinding, teasing, nipple play, choking, unprotected sex (be safe!), Dom!jk, Sub!Reader if you squint, After care?  Its also really fucking cute and fluffy. 

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A cloud of smoke hung in the air, as you press the joint to your lips. Inhaling deeply, feeling the familiar burn in your throat. Some new r&b track playing softly in the background. Jungkook’s long legs resting comfortably over your lap, you pass him the joint. He sets his phone to the side to sit up and take it from you. As mundane as it sounds, this had become somewhat comfortable for the two of you. He blows the smoke out, passing it back for you to finish. Placing the remainder in the ashtray as Jungkook starts laughing hysterically, his infamous cackle bouncing off the walls; easily one of your favorite sounds.

“This video was from last year, watch this…” He sits up bringing the phone close to your face. You watch an extremely drunk Jimin dancing chaotically in the middle of a crowded club. The phone pans to the VIP section, and Taehyung hyping him up. You don’t miss the obnoxiously attractive women that crowd the same area. Your eyes widen and you start to laugh too. It reminded you of when you and Jungkook had first started dating. For the first few months, every weekend was spent with your friends in overcrowded clubs. Fun times, no doubt, but you were happy with your new normal.

Jungkook dismisses himself to the kitchen, mumbling something about having the munchies. You giggle at your predictable boyfriend, extending your legs into the spot where he was laying. Pulling up Snap Chat on your phone, not surprised to see Jimin and Taehyung’s stories. Almost as if they were trying to replicate the memory Jungkook just showed you from a year ago. Drunk as hell, beautiful women, VIP section, it was something to envy from the outside looking in.

You laugh to yourself, thinking back on your own memories. At the start of your relationship, seven months ago, it was much different. Frequently bar hopping with friends whenever we were able to. Once we discovered that we preferred just being in each other’s company, the partying slowly came to an end. You were happy with that though. You loved smoking and hanging out with your best friend, who also happened to be your boyfriend. You find yourself replaying Jimin and Taehyungs story, until you click on Jungkook’s; nothing. Peaking behind you to see him finishing off an apple, you start to think.

You were comfortable with spending your nights like this. Having moved in with each other a month ago, you loved being able to spend your free nights together. Watching a movie, cuddled up on the couch, listening to music, experimenting with food. Whatever you did, it made you happy. This was the first time you wondered if maybe he felt different than you. What if he wants to go out but doesn’t say anything because he knows how much you love staying home?

You get up from your spot on the couch, a stolen pair of Jungkook’s sweatpants hanging around your hips, while his t-shirt hides all your curves. He’s singing to the soft sounds coming from the speaker, and he looks so ethereal. His long bouncy waves, floating back and forth over his eyes; always made you want to brush his hair back. His outfit matching yours since you were wearing his clothes. The grey sweatpants looking sexier on him than on you, although he would argue that statement.

You hop onto the countertop letting your legs hang over, “Do you want to go out?” you blurt out, attempting to sound nonchalant.

He pauses, quickly turning to look at you. His face screwing up with confusion, “What? Like… tonight?”

You press your lips into a hard line nodding at him, which only makes him look more confused.

“Right now? You want to go out?” He asks you again to confirm as he slots himself in between your legs. He wraps his arms around your waist, letting his thumbs slide against the inside of your waist band.

“I mean, if you want to. I’m good with whatever,” You murmur, still attempting to be nonchalant.

“Well… if you don’t want to go out… why would I?” He giggles softly before pressing his lips to your nose.

“I thought maybe you’d want to party with Jimin and Tae, it’s been awhile since we’ve been out,” you try explaining simply.

He tilts his head to the side, seeing straight through your bullshit.

“Actually, I do wanna go somewhere,” He starts, pulling back and walking over to where our shoes are laying, “walk to the grocery store with me, we have like no food.”

You roll your eyes but you follow his lead slipping your shoes on. The grocery store was in walking distance, which was quite dangerous when you both had the munchies.

The wind is harsh but overall, the night is beautiful. The street is on the quieter side since its late into the night. Jungkook pulls your hand out of your hoodie and laces his fingers with yours before putting both into his hoodie. You look up to see him already smiling down at you.

“Baby, why did you ask me to go out tonight, honestly?” his voice is soft and laced with curiosity.

You sigh. You try not to feel insecure, but it was hard with him. He was perfect in your eyes, and you were… well, you weren’t perfect by any means. You constantly wondered if he would want something more, something that you couldn’t offer him. What if he needed more adventure or someone that was in his league? The bottom line was, you knew there was someone out there that could give him that; and it intimidated you.

“I don’t know, it’s just been awhile since we’ve gone out.” You tell him, although its true you know you’re lying to him.

“But you didn’t want to go out, so what would you have done if I had said yes?” He chuckles raising his brows to you.

“I would have gone, I just want to make you happy,” You look up to him and smile.

“I am happy. Right here, with you,” He leans down and kisses your cheek, ”You know that right?”

You force a smile and nod, and he seems to pick up on your hesitation, but he lets it go for now.

Your cloudy eyes scan over the chip section, while Jungkook goes to a different isle to pick out ice cream. Decision making wasn’t your strong suit, so he found you in the same isle 5 minutes later still debating.

“Okay, like spicy or cheesy? You know I hate making decisions!” You pout holding up the two bags.

He chuckles coming closer to see what the options are, “For you, my lady,” He says taking both bags from your hands and putting them in the cart. You start to giggle, reaching out to hug him.

You walk through a few more isles deciding you want to get some noodles for an actual meal. You’re debating on what kind to get, when he freezes in the middle of the conversation. Instantly you stop talking wondering what the hell has your boyfriend’s attention.

Within a few seconds you know, “Oh, if that’s what it takes to learn that sweet heart of yours,” Jungkook starts singing to you in the middle of the isle. His newfound love for the song 10,000 hours was intense, he was constantly singing it to you. Your eyes widen and you start to giggle, taking his hand when he holds it out to you. He spins you into him still singing incredibly loud for a grocery store. His pulls you in and you sway to the music, still unable to control your laughing. You back away from him and you start doing ‘tik-tok’ dance moves to the pop song, Jungkook’s voice cracks as he starts to laugh at you. Within seconds he’s right there with you mimicking your dance moves, you’re both dying from laughter.

You jump when you turn around to see an old couple watching you and giggling.

“Oh my gosh, we’re so sorry!” You start laughing moving the cart out of the way while Jungkook quickly picks up the noodles and throws them into the cart.

“Please don’t apologize, you remind us of when we were younger,” The old man starts, looking at this wife adoringly, “It’s something special, to be in love with your best friend!”

You and Jungkook’s cheeks are burning red, as you hear the sweet compliment.

“It really is,” Jungkook agrees softly before looking at you, eyes filled with the same adoration as the old man.

You finally check out and begin your trek home, Jungkook insisting on carrying all the bags if you feed him some gummy bears. His left arm hangs around your shoulder while you alternate giving him a gummy bear, then yourself.

“Those were some pretty sweet moves back there,” he giggles

You start to laugh again shrugging your shoulders, “Yeah… yours were alright,” you mock. Jungkook gasps sarcastically.

“If I didn’t have this bag of food, I would dance battle you right here!”

“You mean… you would lose a dance battle right here?” You say confidently, before your start to giggle. You slowly look up at him only to see him glaring down at you jokingly, you reach up pressing a red gummy to his lips. You can’t help the belly laugh when he quickly nips the gummy out of your fingers nearly biting you.

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Finally, back home, he made the noodles as soon as you stepped into the house. Both of you singing loud to the music that plays in the background. You switch back and forth between both bags of chips, doing a happy dance when the flavors hit your tongue. His giggle pulls you from your food daze.

“Why are you laughing at me!” You push your lips out pouting as you crunch.

“Your little food dance, it’s one of my favorite things you do,” He imitates you with your little butt wiggle you do while he brings his noodles to his mouth.

“That’s not it,” you giggle showing him what you actually do, “you have to move your shoulders too!” You demonstrate taking a bite of your own noodles.

“Why are you so cute?” He giggles. You shrug cutely before poking your cheeks with your fingers. When you finish eating, he takes your bowls to the sink, and you decide to make your way over to his side of the counter. He turns around after washing the two dishes. You lean into his chest and he wraps his arms around your shoulders, leaning forward to take in the clean smell of your hair before kissing the top of your head multiple times.

He tugs at your chin so you’re looking up at him. He brushes his thumb over your cheekbone, lightly pushing your hair behind your ear, “You seem more like yourself now,” He presses his lips to yours lightly.

“What do you mean?” You ask, pushing yourself up so you can steal another kiss.

“Earlier, you asking to go out. I’m still confused about that…” He grazes his thumb over your bottom lip before looking into your eyes. You could tell that a part of him was worried. You sigh, knowing that it was out of character for you.

“So… maybe I thought that you wanted to be out partying,“ you try to pull back but his arms are around you tight, “Like Tae and Jimin are, with all of those beautiful women.”

His brows nit together as he processes your words, “Why did you think that?”

You take a deep breath deciding to tell him about your frequent insecurities. All of your fears and doubts about your perfect relationship, you told him all of them. He listened closely with his arms secure around you the whole time, his grip never faltering.

“Just… you know, I want to make sure you’re happy with me, so you don’t want to find someone who can make you happier,” you mumble, his face melts with the last sentence.

“Baby,” Its all he says, shaking his head slightly, “You make me, so happy. So happy sometimes that I wonder if this is real.”

“You’re so perfect for me. You know, a free-spirit, with a wild heart,” He sighs deeply cupping your cheeks in his hands, “I just want someone real, someone true.” He murmurs pressing his lips to yours again. He pulls back slightly before leaning in to hover just above your ear, “I need you to smoke with me baby.”

You smile, letting him pull you to the couch. He sits in the corner of the couch pulling you close to him, while he lights the joint that sits on his lips. Inhaling deeply before passing it to you. You both finish it off, and before you know it you’re laughing about who knows what. He pulls you onto his lap, you set your legs on both sides of his. Your body feels warm, maybe it’s because of high, or maybe its because of how much you love him.

His eyes are heavy as he stares up at you his fingers finding their way beneath the loose t-shirt on your body, “Are you happy with me?” He asks out of nowhere, “is there anything I could do to make you happier?”

You take a deep breath, the THC making it hard for you to think too deeply about the answer. You didn’t need to think hard because it was simple, you were happy.

“I just want the simple things,” You say quietly leaning forward to capture his lips in yours, “Someone to smoke with me, laugh with me, lay with me,” You kiss him between each phrase, you pull back to make sure he has your attention, “I just want you.”

He smiles big, taking his hand and wrapping it around the back of your neck to pull you close to him. You brace yourself against his chest, noticing the way his heart feels like it might beat out of his chest. His lips attach to yours but this time it’s needy. He presses into them letting his tongue dance along your lower lip. You feel him start to harden beneath you, and you can’t stop yourself from grinding down onto him. The moan that finds its way from his mouth to yours makes your body weak.

He pulls you closer to him, bringing himself forward on the couch. You wrap your legs around his waist, as he gently pulls his t-shirt from your body. Palming at your tits as soon as his eyes hit them. You throw your head back and he leans forward to leave love bites on the column of your throat. You reach forward to wrap your arms around his shoulders, running your fingers through his hair; tugging softly. He pulls you impossibly closer, your clothed heat pressed against his hard on. You moan into his mouth when he starts to kiss you again. Bucking your hips into him, he pulls back and brings his lips to your sensitive nipples. Massaging your left while his tongue teases the right, then switching. His hand slides up to your throat and your eyes finally meet his blown-out pupils, full of lust and love. His fingers tighten around your throat while he holds you close to his body with his other arm. He turns you both, leaning you back until your laying flat on the couch. His hand still firm around your throat, he leans forward to kiss you again; pressing his hard on into your groin making you whine.

He smiles before nipping at your neck, still pressing himself into where you need him the most. The friction is making you crazy and he knows it, “Baby…” you whimper and he lets out a quiet laugh into your skin. He moves down your body slowly, leaving hickeys in his path, “What baby? What do you need?” He coos, instantly snapping his hips into yours. You throw your head back whining again, “Come on princess, use your words,” He laughs again before sucking the skin of your thigh into his mouth. The purple mark is fresh compared to the dull ones from the nights previous. It’s like it’s his own private masterpiece, he runs his thumb over it before sitting up between your legs. He looks down at you and cocks his head, your bottom lip comfortably in-between your teeth. His fingers slide under the band of your sweatpants and he starts to pull them from your legs antagonizing slow. You wiggle your legs trying to speed up the process, only making him slow down even more.

“Mm no panties?” He licks his lips as notices how wet you are, ”Tell me what you want baby,” He says again, pulling the sweatpants from his own legs.

“I want you to fuck me, Kookie.” You lean forward reaching out for his hard cock, but he wraps his hands around your wrist. Pushing them into the couch, as he hovers over your body. He looks down at you, as the tip of his cock teases your clit. Your eyes are drawn to the way the veins in his biceps are popping out, then to the way his abs flex each time he thrust forward, “Please.” You beg finally meeting his eyes, and they seem to soften at your magic word.

Reaching down he lines himself up then slides inside of you torturously slow. Both of you inhaling deeply when he bottoms out and stops. Something you both loved the feeling of in general, but when you were high it was comparable to euphoria.

“You feel so fucking tight for me princess,” He moans pulling back, dragging his cock against your walls. You want to respond but the words hang on your lips, all you can formulate is whimper. Leaning forward on his forearms on each side of your head, he nudges your face to the side. Letting his teeth graze the shell of your ear. The sound of his moans and whimpers was enough to through you over the edge. He feels it when you start to tighten around him, his teeth finding the juncture of your shoulder and neck. Pressing his lips delicately before he starts to suck hard.

“I-Im so close, please,” You start to beg, you don’t know what you’re begging for exactly, but you have a feeling that he does. He quickens his pace, leaning up and pressing your thighs further apart. He takes his thumb to his mouth, collecting his spit before rubbing it into your clit with the perfect amount of pressure. Your hips start to buck up into his thrust, having a mind of their own. He takes it upon himself to pull your hips up to his, the new position making your body react instantly.

“Right there! Oh fuck, right there Kookie!” You yell out, warmth spreading through your body from your toes to your fingertips. The familiar tight feeling in your abdomen tells you that your close.

“Fuck princess, cum with me!” he moans and just like that your body starts to shake. An orgasm hitting you like a semi, the warmth that was running through your veins turns into something new. He holds your legs still, spilling himself inside of you. The feeling alone makes you feel like you could cum again. He thrust inside you a few more times, each time your body spasming.

He pulls out admiring the way his cum drips from you, taking his fingers and pushing it back inside of you. You spasm at the action, making him giggle, “You came so hard, didn’t you princess?” He asks you, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips before he starts to get up to find something to clean you with. You nod, grabbing his hand quickly before he gets too far. He looks down at you, “Lay with me, baby.”

He pauses and smiles down at you before squeezing himself onto the couch next to you, “You’re still messy,” he says.

“I don’t care, I need you close right now,” You explain before burying your head into his chest. You feel his chest rock as he laughs at how fucked out you are. It didn’t happen every time but, sometimes he fucked you so good that you felt emotional afterwards. You felt like the luckiest girl in the world, and you just wanted him to hold you. He wraps his arms around you, massaging your scalp with his fingertips.

“I love you so much, baby.” He says softly.

You hum into his chest, “Love you too.”

After about an hour of naked cuddling, you ask him if he wants to take a shower. He instantly perks up, wrapping you in his arms carrying you to the shower.

“If you think I would ever choose a night out over a night like this, you’re insane.”

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𝙰/𝙽: 𝙻𝚎𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔! 𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕 𝚏𝚛𝚎𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚜 𝚋𝚊𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚗 𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚜, 𝚒 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚎𝚎𝚎𝚎 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚜𝚎!

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[tsukishumai]

Date Night w/ Atsumu, Osamu, Suna

Warnings: Drinking, Smoking (weed)

A/N: repost bc I checked and my posts weren’t showing up in the tags 😭 sorry if you’ve seen it already.

Pls enjoy (ㆁᴗㆁ✿)

Atsumu

“Where are we going?” “It’s a surprise!”

Whenever Atsumu said those words, it meant one of two things: he’s put a lot of thought and effort into this and you’re about to have the best night of your life... or he’s done nothing, is winging it and kinda hoping for the best.

It’s been about a 50/50 success rate so you really don’t know why you’re gonna get.

“Tsumu, I swear to god, if this is like that one time by the beach...” “shut yer trap! We’re almost there!”

He opened the door to a small, studio like space, waving his hand and motioning for you to enter. You rolled your eyes at his theatrics but let out a tiny gasp once you were able to take in your surroundings.

Canvases perched up on easel stands lined the room, chairs set up in front with a little table next to the easel topped with paint supplies and wine glasses.

You turned to him excitedly. “Paint and wine night!?”

“Paint and wine!” Atsumu exclaimed, “Ya been complaining bout how ya miss doing art, so I thought we could do it together. I would’ve liked a private class, but they only did group sessions.”

“This is perfect,” you said, taking a seat and inspecting the supplies. Atsumu couldn’t help but puff out his chest in pride.

The room soon filled out with the other guests, the instructor coming in a few minutes after everyone’s arrived.

Atsumu chose a red wine, you chose a white. You were only supposed to be served by the glass but he insisted on a bottle each, and you weren’t the only one that has a hard time saying no to him.

“Babe,” he slurred halfway through the night, “is mine supposed to look like that?”

“Tsumu, we’re supposed to be painting an ocean... where did you get that red paint?” “I dunno, I just found it.”

The instructor tried to ignore the both of you giggling like idiots, but they had to step in when Atsumu started flinging paint at you with his brush.

“Miya-san, please stop chugging the wine.”

You chuckled at Atsumu grumbling next to you, trying to steady your hand while adding in your final details.

“Aaaand done!” Atsumu beat you to it. You take a second to glance at his canvas.

“Atsumu... what the hell is th-“ “it’s called abstract art, okay?! Ya normies wouldn’t get it!”

Where the hell did he learn ‘normies’ from?

You laughed at his canvas the entire way home, much to Atsumu’s chagrin.

Still, you hung it up on the wall by your bed, just so it could be the last thing you saw every night before you drifted off to sleep.

Osamu

“Where’d you hear about this?” Osamu asked reluctantly.

“I saw a post about in on Insta! My friends went last weekend, and they said it was amazing!” “I didn’t know you had friends?” “You know what, Samu...”

When you arrived at your destination, you couldn’t help but smile at the wide-eyed expression on your boyfriends face.

Hyogo was hosting a food festival, encouraging up and coming chefs to rent out booths and test out any and all unique recipes they could think off.

Booths on either side lined the road, crowds of people holding plates of food that Osamu didn’t even know existed.

“Which one should we try first?” You asked, but Osamu was already walking up to stand claiming to sell “Sushi Burritos”

“We have to do this strategically,” Osamu said, looking at the paper pamphlet he received from one of the information stands, “We should only get one thing from each stand so we have room for dessert. It looks like all the dessert stands are on this end, so we’ll just do one big circle.”

You nodded and gave him a salute, happy to be dragged around by the hand.

You’d never seen Osamu so animated, eyes darting from one booth to the next, ears practically steaming.

Your favorite was watching him take his first bite out of whatever creation you bought from the stall in front of you, his eyes would flutter close and the satisfied hum slipping from his mouth always brings your lips up to a smile.

“Let’s try this one next,” he said, leading you up to an onigiri stand.

The worker handed you a plate with three perfectly formed onigiri, your mouth watering at the scent wafting into your nostrils.

You took a bite... and another one... but your brows knitted together together after each chew

“Something wrong?” Osamu asked

You shook your head. “No, nothings wrong... it’s just, ever since I’ve had your onigiri, nothing else can really compare”

Osamu desperately hide the blush that was quickly spreading across his cheeks. “Oh really?”

“Yeah! You know, Samu, if you opened up an Onigiri shop, I bet it would be the best one in the country.”

Osamu laughed, slinging an arm around your shoulder as he lead you to the next destination.

“You think so?” “I KNOW so.”

Osamu shook his head. “I couldn’t pull something off like that.”

You stopped in your tracks, tugging on his hand and forcing him to face you. “Osamu, I think you could do absolutely anything you set your mind to,” your tone was serious for a second before shooting him a wide grin, “and you would do it better than anyone!”

Osamu smiled, watching you run off to the next booth, thinking that if he had you by his side, then he could probably rule the world.

Suna

Suna has never ever striked you as the “hiking” type

So when he said he wanted to take you to a spot he used to frequent in high school, you were surprised, but oddly excited.

“How’d you find this place?” “You know... exploring.”

He took you to a park that was a 20 minute train ride from his apartment. The park was situated at the base of a mountain, and further back behind a canopy of trees was the beginning of a trail that you wouldn’t see if you didn’t know it was there.

Suna walked ahead, extending his hand behind him for you to take. He laced your fingers together, trudging along the path side by side.

The trail wasn’t really much of a hike as it is a walk. The terrain was relatively flat most of the way, green leaves bordering each side of the path.

Suddenly, Suna stopped, pulling you over to the side and moving aside branches and leaves.

“Rin? What are you doing?” You asked curiously, but he just said, “Trust me.”

Past the foliage was another trail, one that looks like it wasn’t meant to exist in the first place, formed only by repeating footprints that climbed up the slope.

Suna held out his hand for you to take, looking like he had every intention of climbing up the side of this muddy hill.

“Uhhhh, Rin, I don’t think we’re supposed to -“ “I said trust me, didn’t I?”

You grumbled at him, throwing snide remarks and thanking god that you wore an old pair of sneakers today.

It took about 10 minutes of climbing until you reached the top, walking past a couple of trees to reach a clearing.

In the middle of the clearing was a tree stump, different logs of various sizes encircling the stump. You rolled your eyes, knowing exactly what it was you were looking at.

“You brought me to your old high school smoking spot?” “Hell yeah, I did.”

Suna walked ahead of you, sitting down on one of the logs and digging through the backpack he was wearing.

He stood up, and laid down a small blanket on the log, sitting back down and patting the spot next to him. You chuckled, taking a seat next to him.

“If you wanted to get high, we could have just done it at the apartment?” You said, but Suna just shrugged. “It’s nice to have a change of scenery once in a while.”

He dug out his bag, zipping it open and setting his grinder, blunt wraps, and weed on the tree stump.

You’ve always liked watching Suna prepare your blunts. He’s let you try doing it once or twice, but you could never get it to roll as tightly as he does.

You hear the telltale click of a lighter, Suna dragging the flame across the seam of the wrap before bringing one end to his lips, and lighting the other.

Once it was lit, he took a few deep drags before passing it over to you. You brought the blunt to your lips, taking in a deep breath, holding it until you felt your lungs burn, and letting out a big puff of smoke.

“Whoa there,” Suna commented, and you laughed in between fits of coughing.

“It’s been a tough week.” “Yeah? Tell me about it.”

The two of you sat there, you weren’t sure how long, exchanging stories about your week, making each other laugh with corny jokes you read online, showing each other tik toks and just enjoying each other’s company.

The blunt was finished long ago, and you notice Suna’s shoulders were much less tense, his facial features finally easing into a calm expression.

“Practice has been tough, huh?” You asked, and he let out a big sigh.

“Yeah... but it’s alright. S’long as we still get to do stuff like this, I’ll survive.”

You tilted your head as he stood up. “Where you going?”

“Let’s go, it’s getting cold and I got the munchies.”

“I am way too high to climb down that slope right now.”

And that’s how you got Suna Rintarou to give you a piggy back ride down the side of a muddy hill.

A/N: also sorry for the shittt format I’m on mobile :(

[thesaltyoncologist]

WTF do oncology fellows do?

WAKE UP: 0630 - 0755

My alarm is set for 0630-0700 most mornings. I rarely, if ever, get up at that time. I usually hit the snooze alarm for at least 30 mins if not nearly an entire hour, depending on the day. I’m actively trying to get better at dealing with mornings but I honestly just suck at it. Today I hit snooze for exactly 55 minutes before rolling over in bed, grabbing my phone, and jumping on my morning conference call at 0800.

MORNING SIGN-IN: 0800 - 0830

I have a research clinic once per week, and Monday is my research group’s day. This is the one day of the week where our patients who are on clinical trials are seen in clinic. We start the morning with kind of a virtual roll call of who will be physically seen in clinic, who is going to the infusion room for treatment, and if there are any people being seen for acute problems. It’s usually pretty quick, consisting something along the lines of: “Mr. X is here for C4D1 treatment with X for his prostate cancer” for each patient. After we run the list, my drag my ass from bed and get dressed. 

RESEARCH CLINIC: 0900 - 1400

What I do during each Monday research clinic varies. Today I had to physically go into the hospital because one of our patients was admitted and was scheduled to start treatment today. I met my boss up on the wards and we headed over to her room to give her and her husband an update on how the day would go. Nothing exciting, just a few hours of infusions. Provided she’s not one of the unlucky sort who have an infusion reaction, it should be a pretty dull day for her. The side effects hit later, especially after the number of cycles accumulates. She looks better today than during our last few visits. Definitely more relaxed and less emotionally wrecked. I’m sure the feelings are all still there, just controlled for the time being. She’s only 50 years old.

After seeing our patient, I head over to clinic where I work with one of our APPs who is working through a stack of papers for a second opinion later this week. It’s painfully slow work, made worse by the fact that no one seems to believe in writing an oncology treatment summary anymore. After a couple of hours we piece together a halfway decent treatment timeline. She’s another young patient who has burned through double digits worth of treatment regimens. Her local oncologist is better than his half-assed progress notes indicate, and he has her on an appropriate treatment. Unfortunately she doesn’t qualify for any of our ongoing trials. She’s only 45 years old.

We end the clinic in a similar fashion to how it begins, with a quick sign out of who was seen and the highlights of what happened. 

1400-1500: ANKI

I head over to the fellow’s office and my cubicle to knock out some flashcards. Oncology boards are looming in November. Anki has always been my go-to during medical school and residency, and it continued in fellowship. All of medicine has a base of memorization. It’s unavoidable. Anki is the best way of helping me pound staging and treatment algorithms into my head. Patients rarely fit into these standard scenarios, but again, having that base knowledge is key. Somewhere in between flipping through my cards, I remember the peanut butter sandwich I stowed away in my bag for lunch. Sandwich gone. Cards reviewed. I pack up and head home.

1500 - 1600: WALK THE DOGGO

It’s a mild but sunny day outside so me and the doggo hit the sidewalks. The actual mileage we cover is pretty minimal. His legs are short, and he has yet to meet a smell that didn’t intrigue him. That’s okay by me. The fresh air helps me clear my head.

1600 - 1800: DATA CRUNCHING

Back to the house where I try to knock out some more work. Today, I’m working through some clinical trial data. Clinical trials take so long to complete that it’s hard for a fellow to work on a singular trial, from start to finish. Most of the time we just work on different parts of different trials. This is a trial that was wrapping up right around the time I joined my research group. I saw the last few patients go on trial (and progress on trial, unfortunately). So now I’m working on compiling the data that will eventually be a new manuscript. Like the majority of research trials, this more than likely a negative phase I/II trial. It’s still a good way for me to learn the mechanics of compiling data and manuscript preparation. It’s been a while since I’ve written manuscripts. I’m rusty.

1800 - 1930: DINNER

My roommate cooks and I clean. It’s a pretty sweet deal. We usually have the news on while we eat, and tonight is no different. Probably the only thing I like about this part of the country has been the politics.

2000 - 2100: 

Time for a quick lifting session followed by a hot shower.

2100-2200: 

Watch an episode of TV with the roommate. Tonight, he’s playing some weird show on Hulu. I spend most of the show scrolling through tik toks. Once we get finished, my phone gets plugged in and retired for the night.

2200 - 2300: WIND DOWN

Normally, I avoid all screens after around 8-9pm. Tonight is a little different since I decided to through my daily routine into a post. Normally, my wind down routine consists of reading my well loved and worn copy of ASCO-SEP... which is basically the Oncology equivalent of First Aid. Then bed. Rinse and repeat.

[foryoumyheroes]

Stan Twitter

[Midoriya + Todoroki + Bakugou + Kaminari] and their secret stan accounts.

A/N:  Gender neutral reader and [H/N] stands for [Hero Name].  Aged-up AU and everyone is already a Pro-Hero. Kinda SMAU? 

Disclaimer: I recently became aware that the word “simp” has been appropriated from AAVE. As someone who is not from the black community, I genuinely apologize and I don’t have an excuse for my ignorance. I am removing it from these hcs! I consider myself an ally (but I clearly have a lot of work to do) and it is my own fault for not educating myself, which I hope to do more of in the future.

I also have to give credit where credit’s due I love @myherowritings​ ‘s SMAUs and was inspired to write this from their works so please check them out if you’re reading this!  

Izuku Midoriya: 

Goes the whole mile. Has a [Name] stan account with 10k followers. Interacts with other [H/N] stans regularly. Retweets edits and compilations. Makes his own fancams and edits. 

Vote [H/N] for the top ten  @[H/N]might345  I am so lucky to be able to get the entire @official[Hero Name] x @Super_Groupies collaboration collection!! It sold out within minutes! 💨💨 It was kinda stressful haha. 😅 Thanks again to everyone who supported our favorite Hero! http://bit.ly/G4peUrTd36A

Vote [H/N] for the top ten @[H/N]might345 Thank you to tik tok user @rainbowinureye for giving me permission to post their playdate edit of [H/N]! It’s so well done and the cuts and the scenes line up perfectly 😊 http://m.tiktok.com/WrqKOXWpYbU  

Vote [H/N] for the top ten  @[H/N]might345 I made another [H/N] edit to the song “This is Love” by Illene Woods slowed and pitched version 😊💕💕 Please tell me what you think and how I can improve! http://bit.ly/dK9-c7QOcWg 

Of course it’s edited perfectly with all of the clips synced up perfectly?? It’s a byproduct from his All Might days. He’s still sure to respond to every person who gives him constructive criticism on how to improve his edits. 

Unintentionally becomes a meme?? Becomes known as the fanboy to end all fanboys. Like this guy is EVERYWHERE. He’s in the comments of every [H/N] funny moments and [H/N] battles but every fight is poorly edited to the sound of vines and every official interview posted by official YT channels. 

Stream Fine Line  @randomaccount360 The wildest thing about Twitter is that one [H/N] stan account that comes running whenever you mention their name. 

Vote [H/N] for the top ten @[H/N]might345 replying to @randomaccount360  hahaha! I am here! 😁

High-key people think that he’s one of those stalkerish fans?? Like he’ll post pictures of you eating at super close angles that no other news site has and it isn’t like a pic a fan has asked for either... it’s like a candid photo of you shoveling back food 

But you guys are legitimately dating?? He lives with you?? It’s just so embarrassing to know that he runs this popular stan account of you that you rarely bring it up asdfg ;; You ;; politely look away.  

Vote [H/N] for the top ten @[H/N]might345 Isn’t @official[Hero Name] the cutest? Here’s them eating the souffle pancakes at Flipper's! It was super good! http://bit.ly/fQE__7riZko

Mashomallow @mashomallowfood  replying to @[H/N]might345 OP how do you know what the pancakes taste like 

Pinky step on me @Minastannn replying to @mashomallowfood  OP pls respond it’s a legit question 

thehighground @ayeyeye  replying to @[H/N]might345  @official[Hero Name] if you are in danger please wink twice  

OHH if you get hate?? He will respectfully put that person in their place in the most eloquent way possible. Five pages, doubled-spaced, MLA format, works cited page. 

[H/N] > Deku >:(  @[H/N]might345  It has recently come to my attention that people online have been saying that Deku is a better hero than [H/N] and I am here to say that is not the case. Not only is pitting two heroes against each other extremely toxic but [H/N] has shown time and time again that they are the more successful Hero. [1/24] 

Show this thread 

He exposes himself by being tagged in those “Get to know them better” trends and it wasn’t like he was ever hiding the fact that he ran the stan account so he has no problem doing it. He’s so casual with posting a selfie of himself and saying his name and likes and dislikes but the people who tagged him just thought that he was just a regular fan?? Not Pro-Hero Deku?? 

#WTFDeku is trending for a whole day in Japan. 

It answers a lot of questions but opens up more. 

Everyone legit thought that @[H/N]might345 was just a rich kid with a lot of free time this whole time. But no?? It was Number One Hero Deku?? Does he make the edits when he’s fighting villains or something asdfg 

It makes him so happy though!! You guys would be chilling and his phone dings from notifications and he’s turning to you so happily like, “Look, [Name]! Another popular fan account retweeted my compilation of you! I can’t believe they noticed me!” Asdf i love this boy. 

Shoto Todoroki: 

LOOK even before you two debuted as Pro-Heroes he was your number one stan buying all the merch, watching all of the interviews. 

Interacts with other fans occasionally. 5K followers. Verified by Twitter for some reason. Has a generic name like @[Name]snumberone and thinks that it’s polite to always end his posts with a simple :) 

He’s told you about his side account before, but you know that he has one dedicated to Endeavor hate, so you always think that he’s referring to that one. 

Horny on main for some reason?? People think that he’s socially inept and doesn’t really understand a lot of jargon or slang, but thanks to Kaminari and all of the other stans he’s studied up because he thinks that’s how you’re supposed to talk on the internet. 

Like someone will post a pic of you holding something between your thighs like a water bottle or your phone or wallet while you tie your hair up or sign something for a fan and he’ll be like “goD i wish that was me.” 

it’s photosynthesUS @queenking[H/N]  Can you believe that there are people out there that don’t think about [H/N]’s thighs at least once a day?? coughcough anyWAY on an unrelated topic here’s several pictures of those beautiful legs http://bit.ly/pH6KeOjpKeI

[H/N]’s biggest fan @[Name]snumberone replying to @queenking[H/N]  I can die happy if those legs suffocated me 

[H/n]’s biggest fan  @[Name]snumberone  Another fan messaged me saying that they liked my account :) thank you. I love [H/N] more than anything. 

[H/N]’s biggest fan  @[Name]snumberone Someone messaged me this from a site called Archive of Our Own? They said since I like [H/N] so much I would like this. It’s pretty enjoyable :) although kind of OOC? (is that right?) 

[H/N]’s biggest fan @[Name]snumberone I thought I would try my own hand at [H/N] fanfiction since it was so fun to read I binged the entire tag last night :) But please be warned that it’s not for underage readers. 

Would try to fight the haters in the most passive-aggressive and aggressive-aggressive way possible. He had no problem with trying to square up against the chief of police and he’s incredibly stubborn. He immediately responds to their post and tries to shut it down as quick as possible and sometimes it’s ;; kinda hurtful 

One time a hater account was spreading negative things about you and after Shoto came on the scene they quickly ended their thread with a “Of course [H/N]’s white knight came to save the day again 🙄🙄”

Within the next hour he changed his bio to “[H/N]’s white knight” 

Doesn’t get that trend where after someone posts something thirsty about someone else another user will reply by thanking them for something random? 

[H/N]’s biggest fan @[Name]snumberone Has anyone seen [H/N]’s arms after their most recent fight with a villain? They can break my back like a glowstick :) and stick their tongue down my throat ig 

Stradandelous @pikadeegeek  replying to @[Name]snumberone  Thank you for paying for my anger management classes :))))

[H/N]’s biggest fan @[Name]snumberone replying to @pikadeegeek  Oh, do you have me confused for someone else? I know that @realbakusatsuou needs anger management lessons 

He gets exposed after someone posts a picture of you and him smiling at each other cutely and someone responds with “🥺🥺 get someone who looks at you the way Shoto looks at [Name] and soba. It must be nice to kiss one of the cutest Heroes of the century” 

[H/N]’s biggest fan @[Name]snumberone  replying to @bossbiccc Thank you but soba will always be number two to [Name] :) and it was nice. 

Everyone then collectively LoSeS their minds and connects the dots like hUH?? You included!! You aren’t spared from this shit!! You spend your whole day with your jaw dropped to the goddamned grOUND as you scroll through his side account. Did he try all of that before or AFTER writing his fanfiction?? 

Endeavor gets news of it and learns just how horny his youngest son is and nearly goes into cardiac arrest. 

He just slurps his soba when everyone under the sun confronts him about it and he’s just like “what about it?” 

Katsuki Bakugou: 

About 600 followers. Doesn’t interact with anyone other than retweeting posts and liking them. Rarely comments. Never answers DM’s. Only follows one person and that’s @official[Hero Name].

You don’t know about it. No one knows about it. If he had it his way, no one will ever know about it.  

Occasionally he posts, but it’s mostly him flaunting the fact that he got limited edition or super expensive [H/N] merch that gets sold out in seconds and he’s super fucking smug. 

my hero [Name] @[H/N][Name] check out my limited edition [H/N] figurine. their costume is covered in real strakowski crystals. they did a good job with the face too.

Whatcanisayyyy his parents are designers. He has a taste for the finer things in life. 

He’s not much of a texter in general? So he doesn’t go off on lengthy arguments with people who post hate like the other two. Surprisingly mature when he does this. He reports or blocks them, but he’s always proud to know that these lowlife people can’t bring up a good argument because he always finds holes in their points. (They also don’t have the whole story. Which is? He loves you.) 

NEVER retweets or likes content that involves you and another Hero being shipped together. Purely Ground Zero x [Hero Name] only. Who gives a damn that Creati x [Hero Name] got the most votes from the Official [H/N] Fan Club?? Bakugou ,,, does not see it. 

Kinda boring really ;; he only has that many followers because he only retweets the BEST [Name] content and he’s fucking proud of it. 

He gets exposed when you and he get dragged to a club with Bakusquad one day. You’re on the dance floor with Mina and Sero and he’s just reclining in the booth retweeting paparazzi pictures of you that night and Kaminari manages to sneak up behind him and takes a picture of him without him noticing. People ofc zoom into his phone screen and find out that hE FUCKING HAS A WHOLE STAN ACCOUNT DEDICATED TO YOU?? When y’all are dating?! He’s retweeting photos of you in your outfit that night when he was right there?? He sometimes uncharacteristically comments 🥺 or 😍 or “my love”??? 

The goddamned UWUs that are passed around that night!!

The unsuppressed anger 😨😨

Pikachu’s long lost son @NOTjammingway @realbakusatsuou YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE!! IT WAS SAID THAT YOU WOULD DESTROY THEM NOT JOIN THEM!! 

Red Riot @theofficialredriot replying to @NOTjammingway The PLOT TWIST OF THE CENTURY! NOT EVEN THE SHARINGAN COULD’VE PREDICTED THIS

Cellophane @Serophanetape  replying to @theofficialredriot  No wonder he’s changed since our school days... 😔😔 as his bros we should’ve seen it... the good in him...the c o n f l i c t 

Pro Hero Ground Zero @realbakusatsuou  replying to @NOTjammingway  Shut. The fuck. UP!!! 

Pikachu’s long lost son @NOTjammingway  ASDFGHJKLHELPMEEEEE http://bit.ly/DVtNve4qySA

Show this thread 

woah pass that  @hellofolksclapclap Transcription of @NOTjammingway’s post that was taken from his IG live for anyone that needs it 😊

[Chargebolt]: [to Red Riot] and anyway, I there I was barbecue sauce— [two knocks appear on his door]. Huh?  [Red Riot]: [walking to the door] were you expecting anyone?  [Chargebolt]: No—? [Door slams open loudly. It falls to the ground off its hinges.] [AHHHHASDGHSPE?] [T/N: how did he manage to keysmash in real life?] Bakugouuuu! [Screams impressively high pitched.]  [Ground Zero]: I’m going to fucking kill you!  [Red Riot]: Bakugou, no! Stop! What would [Name] think?! [Ground Zero]: [Name] can’t fucking look at me without laughing anymore!  [A whole bunch of voices interlap and more screaming ensues.] [A faint ‘wheee’ is heard.]  [END.] 

Eventually he just fucking owns it and is like yEAH!! I HAVE A [NAME] STAN ACCOUNT WHAT OF IT?? 

hero for all  @official[Hero Name] Love you too, @[H/N][Name] <3 <3

Pro Hero Ground Zero @realbakusatsuou  replying to @official[Hero Name] ...You’re lucky I didn’t deactivate the whole fucking account. 

He still retweets things to this day, but now he’s getting more bold. 

Denki Kaminari: 

Unlike the others his official twitter IS his [Name] stan page. 

He’s going back and forth from posting about his battles, his promotional content, and then splits them all with retweets that are like “I’ve NEVER wanted to hold a hand so bad before in my life. I SWEAR!” 

IMAGINE if he did have a stan account though. He would be going back and forth between his official and stan account and like fake beefing with each other. 

Pikachu’s long lost son @NOTjammingway  [Name] just defeated 28 villains today!!! FUCK👏ING👏TWENTY EIGHT👏 The talent in this household... the sexiness... 😳😳

i sent you my love pls respond @[H/N]steponme replying to @NOTjammingway Dude I’m going to steal your lover 

Pikachu’s long lost son @NOTjammingway  replying to @[H/N]steponme  You wouldn’t dare 😤 😤😡

i sent you my love pls respond @[H/N]steponme replying to @NOTjammingway   If that’s your lover why are they buying MY animal crossing turnips? 

Pikachu’s long lost son @NOTjammingway replying to @[H/N]steponme @official[Hero Name]... say it isn’t so... 

hero for all @official[Hero Name]  replying to @NOTjammingway  What the FUCK is going on 

Pikachu’s long lost son @NOTjammingway  Replying to @[H/N]steponme They’re in your acnh island but they’re replying to MY tweets we are not the same 

Since he’s a Pro-Hero and therefore a public figure, sometimes he gets flagged by karens on the internet for saying stuff like “pls sit on my face [Name]” on his official twitter and he always replies to comments that are like “Think about the children!” with “This AINT about them!!”  

If his S/O is getting hate he’ll reply to them such as

dog mom coffee lover @lilyjargon920 I’m sorry I can’t help it, [H/N] is so ugly ESPECIALLY after a fight 

Pikachu’s long lost son @NOTjammingway replying to @lilyjargon920 That’s a strange way to say that you’ve never gotten anyone hot and bothered 

Flip-flops between being super horny and “Can i hold your hand ;;; PLEASE” 

Whenever he takes mirror selfies in his bedroom his bed is like ;; half [H/N] plushies 

Because he’s not hiding anything he’s able to interact with your page freely and most of the time his retweets get more likes than your tweet because he’s just randomly thirsty without it having anything to do with your og tweet. 

He tries tik tok trends on you and reposts it on his twitter as well. He tried the “getting naked in front of partner” challenge while you were in the middle of working at your desk at home and you just looked at him like “Put some clothes on HOE” while laughing and getting back to work. 

He posts Boyfriend ASMR POVs but most of them are like self-indulgent fanfiction and he’s talking to “[Name]” instead of making it open to everyone. 

Everyone in Class 1-A clowns him so hard for this. 

Present Mic plays one of them during his radio one day as a request from a listener and he had to leave the room but since he’s so loud his laughter was basically the only thing people hear.