#time to change my pfp again 🥹❤️ | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

captainaikus · 2 years

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okay i think i figured out the issue as to why my last ask from our convo didn’t sent (not from this morning). cause i had sent one a while ago and you never responded so i thought it was a glitch or you just didn’t get it or you’d finally gotten sick of me. i had a picture attached (my screensaver) so that’s probably why it didn’t sent. i just let out a huge sigh of relief cause i thought you’d finally gotten sick of me 😭😭. but thankfully that is not the case 🥹🥹 *gestures to the ask from this morning*. okay so i’ll just send it again if that’s alright. *ahem*

also. i think im finally ready to come off anon. surprise?? i was thinking about it for a while cause we’ve talked a lot by now (2 months almost i think?) and i consider you one of my online friends (im okay even if it’s not reciprocated). and it just felt right. you can still call me starry if you want (i love the nickname it’s so cute 😭❤️).

okay so here’s the actual ask

BELLE!!!! I’m honored (abt your screensaver) 😌😭🤧. I spontaneously change it to different TR panels and choosing one for the ending was so hard but I ended up choosing a classic.

Heads ups this is gonna be a long one I’m sorry .

Ohhh what kind of sensitive topics if you don’t mind me asking? I personally feel like topics are talk about raw things are some of the best pieces of writing. Another reason why hurt/comfort is one of my favorite tropes. Just exploring the angst and hurt and hard to deal with feelings into understanding and comfort and closure really hits for me.

And same here. Every time I get on Pinterest it’s just. Hot shirtless fictional character. Hot shirtless fictional character. Hot shirtless fictional character. Angst fanart. Hot shirtless fictional character. And then I end up going down the rabbit hole of trying to save all of them while simultaneously finding more and it becomes an endless cycle 💀💀💀.

Pshhhh the Izana fanart had me wheezing. Just the absolute judgmental look in Izanas face. I just know Kakucho was ready to pounce on Izana to hold him back from hunting down Shion adhkbffjjgg. And ofc it was Shion because who else 😭💀. I’m complementing if I should change my screensaver to one of the hundreds of Izana pictures I have saved (rip my storage 🥲) but I think I’m gonna keep the Takemikey one a bit longer mostly because if I change it that means I’m finally slowly starting to come to terms with the fact that the manga is over AND IM NOT READY FOR THAT YET DANGIT. OH!! And I can’t believe I forgot to mention that I finally changed my pfp on tumblr. I ended up picking Takemitchy because the end of TR was fast approaching. And I also changed my theme from orange-flowers-in-the-sunset to purple-clouds-during-the-early-morning. I’m quite proud of it if I do say so myself 😌.

If you do decide to start writing TR content then you have my full support. But even if you don’t then that’s totally okay too. I don’t wanna accidentally pressure you into it with my constant rambling about it. But if you do pls let me know so I can celebrate the fact that one of my favorite writers is gonna start writing/doing TR content 👀🥳. Rindo is a great place to start. He needs more content I hardly see any for him as compared to Mikey, Izana, Chifuyu, Mitsuya, and etc. My baby needs some love too.

Dude Reo had me when he did the super hot eyebrow thing LIKE SIR NO REASON TO DO THIS TO ME. NOT TO MENTION HIS DID IT TWICE?!?!? And the freaking HEADPATS he was giving Nagi???? Nagi no offense but can we pls share your bf?

And ofc take your time with your fics. Amazing things aren’t produced in a day. They need to be edited and fleshed out and rewritten. All a hundred times over. So take your time and don’t let anyone pressure you into doing more than you want to because at the end of the day this is YOUR blog and YOUR writing. Personally, I’m just happy with the interaction 😊❤️. NOT THAT YOUR WRITING ISNT AMAZING IT IS but a lot of authors just don’t interact and I wanna get to know the amazing person behind the beautiful writing too you know? Makes all if it more real I think. But that’s just me.

Ohhhh man I’ve heard quite a few things about Kaiser and I’m still undecided abt him cause new characters can be hot as they wanna be but if they hurt one of my babies (unjustly) then it’s on sight 😤😤.

“Dommed his way through it” agjfshbcfhjhg. Basically 😭💀. I read someones post saying how much they love him yet he’s got the personality of an apple and I was like yes but no but yes but no while laughing. Baby boys been through so much I think he deserves a break 😭.

Yes expose the flawed systems of this world 😤😤. Seriously though, I’ve heard so many stories about how models are treated and it makes me so sad because they really are some of the sweetest people out there (you’re a perfect example) and yet they go through so much. For me, I come up with stories and characters that often go through or have a personality trait of mine so that I can sort of analyze and work through it in my writing (that is if I don’t decide to go the angst route ofc). And its almost always done unconsciously . So it’s therapeutic for me.

I’m glad you’re doing well!! I’m on break rn and having no work to do is so weird because I’m so used to being productive and working all the time. So that that when I don’t have work I’m just like. Suspicious that I’m gonna miss a deadline or something and everything feels off balance . Trying to break that habit and just learn how to relax again.

Well he’s obviously wrong because your shirt looked amazing 🙄 (even tho I wasn’t there). Men. I swear if fictional men were real, real men would be sweating so much harder than they aufesst are because women are realizing that we deserve better than the bare minimum. They’d also very much be scared for their lives cause if our fictional men found out how we were being treated just due existing it would be all over for them. Sorry abt that bit. the state of the world makes me feel a lot of intense emotions sometimes.

Stuff abt me huh? Hmmmm well I like to write, eat, and sleep. I need more hobbies 💀. I like to learn new things whether it be about animals, politics, wars, or art. I love reading and books. One day I want to have a whole room set aside as a library in my house with two floors and a walking ledge and those rolling ladders and stairs. The whole Beauty and the Beast library but small enough to fit in a small house. I like meeting new people. The things you can learn from a single conversation astound me. I like researching any topic that catches my eyes and analyzing it so much that it unknowingly becomes a hyperfixation. Idk it just scratches an itch in my brain. I want to travel the world one day. And learn and speak and write fluent Spanish, Arabic, and French. I also like leather jackets and comfy clothes and eye makeup. Oh and I like listening to music a lot. Especially walking outside with my earbuds in while it’s cold in the late afternoon when it’s dark but there’s still light and laying in the grass on a hill.

Shows: EXTRAORDINARY ATTORNEY WOO!!! I love that show. It’s been a minute since I’ve watched it tho. Gotta start binging again. But I usually don’t watch shows unless they really catch my eye. OH!!! But I’m short excited for the Percy Jackson tv show coming soon!! Reliving my childhood in 24 minutes every week is gonna be a real treat.

Anime: I’m not watching anything new atm. I binged one piece over the summer though and got to the Sabody arc (early 400s). I’m rewatching TR for the 3rd time this month tho. I cant make myself reread the manga yet it’s gonna be too much for me to handle too soon 🥹🥹🥹. WAIT I TAKE IT BACK. I’m currently watching Blue Lock and Chainsaw Man. I cant believe I forgot 💀💀. Oh and I’m also rewatching the Ranking of Kings and Banana Fish (I don’t know what made me decide rewatching this angst fest was a good idea especially with TR ending but I’m here now so 🥲🥲🥲).

SNACK: Tbh honest I’ll eat anything. Either I’m a vacuum or I’m incapable of eating so my body lovesssss me 💀. Im honestly more of a meal person. I love spicy and savory food tho. My mom never gave me a bunch as a kid so when I eat them now it’s very rare and even then I’m very picky abt which ones I like. I do like caramel, milk chocolate, or whole chocolate flavored sweets tho.

Manga/Books: I’m currently rereading the wrath and the dawn, reading belladonna, and reading HP Lovecrafts stories. On the manga side, I’m reading Chainsaw man (cause I wanna stay ahead of the anime) and I’m finally starting Moriarty the patriot.

I’ve been meaning to read more nonfiction books cause I can gain a broader perspective but i don’t know where to start or find an hood ones or find ones that aren’t mainstream but secretly awful. Do you have any recs?

The Bachira b-day suit panel is very much appreciated 👀😂. ALSO I would love to chat but for some reason my tumblr messaging is broken? I even tried on my laptop and it didn’t work. So I sadly excepted my fate of asks only communication a while ago 😞🤧. Also also some people really need to learn what boundaries are. Like just in general. AND NOOOO THAT FIC IS ONE MY FAVORITES ITS ADORABLE. And ofc that doesn’t erase the fact that your writing has improved by a lot (it has wonderfully btw) but you should also be proud of some of your early works no matter how cringe they seem to be.

How was your day? I hope uni has been going well? As always, I hope you have a good day!!! *sends many virtual hugs*

- ✨ anon

Tags for this ask : sensitive topics; mentions of depression, SH and just me talking about my writing, opinions and life

I- this is first time I’m experiencing an ask based tumblr glitch. I’ve only heard of it from other writers, but experiencing it? This was first for me and I’m sorry that happened to you. I promise I haven’t gotten sick of you and I still look very much forward to your texts . I was wondering where you were after I sent that response out - cause I thought you got tired of me instead 🥹

And omg when I saw you come off anon! 🥹 I was so excited!! Hi!! And ofc you’re one of my online friends as well! One of the first actually 👉🏻👈🏻 like- yeah I used to speak to writers here- but the relationship wasn’t a very consistent one. Like if I’m being point blank about my opinion, It’s not very often that I speak to authors and writers here as idk why but I get the feeling that they see me as a person using them for the sake of reblogging my works and liking them (a few writers being exceptions ofc) - which isn’t the case cause I can get by fine without their help; and I can tell when I’m not wanted even if I can’t see you. So you’re right, a lot of authors don’t interact and they mostly stick to their own circles (again, some of them being exceptions ofc) and me being me, I’ve never done well with crowds; and I’m a loner here - I closed in on myself and didn’t interact with any blog - it kinda helped cause I didn’t have majority opinion of how and what a character should be like or how I should write them shoved in my face. And I focused on interacting with my followers and people who took interest in my work - cause at the end of the day I’m creating content for you guys - who follow me and for myself cause I consider it therapy.

but yay! I finally saw you! ପ(๑•ᴗ•๑)ଓ and ofc I’ll still call you starry!

I’m sorry for closing my chat box; but there was the need to put boundaries for some people ૮ ◞ ﻌ ◟ ა(the amount of spam I got from dating websites and meetups and suggestive messages is crazy and then the ask to sequels came in when I opened it so I had to close it again, and I’m sorry you couldn’t reach me :/ I’m creating a new account so that I can follow some of you back and have fun - a first time thing for me so I’m kinda nervous ૮₍˶Ó﹏Ò ⑅₎ა )

I changed my screensaver again

Sorry I had to do it. It was Rindou and he looked very pretty - and maybe I’ll put gojo back idk- I don’t like indecisiveness but atp it’s just me when I go to get food with friends and screensavers (and pfps)

I’m glad to see someone agree with me abt writing hurt/comfort topics. When I mentioned about sensitive topics what I was talking about stresses on mental health - ranging from mild to severe issues; topics such as depression, and SH thoughts, eating disorders and stuff like that as well how people think about their body image and just very overwhelming emotions in general. Cause these are real issues and speaking from experience, people don’t talk about it cause it’s the case where they have to think twice before saying something to someone or afraid that they would judge them if they opened about it. I’m not a professional but since I’ve experienced this before (and at times still do) I wanted to write about it and since breaking mirrors was so well received - I made a decision to write something deeper and more intense which covers these topics. And what I really like you saying is that these are raw forms of writing which is very true cause the feedback I got for breaking mirrors just proved that people liked my fic and provided them comfort in some way - which means that it was relatable. And that’s what I am aiming for since this is an ‘x reader’ insert.

My Pinterest looks very weird. I’m omw to posting a shirtless man’s pics on my pinned post who idek for the sake of making my blog look good (literally on the cusp of doing it and maybe I will- Sam smith dropped unholy and it’s hoe hoe hoe season too + the fact that we’re gonna slut shame men on this blog) I spend a lot of time on Pinterest cause of pretty people tbh -

I really like your pfp! You got me thinking of changing mine honestly- but Aiku *heartclench* my love - I’m actually in the middle of making one - (*≧ω≦) and I did check out your blog! It’s so chaotic and cute! And I really love the color as well - it’s very soothing (˶‾᷄ ⁻̫ ‾᷅˵)

Gonna tell you now- I had an emperor! Izana that I started months ago, kisaki and Rindou now. Cause I thought of something and it made me go ‘holy hell. That’s- I have to write that down’ and Sanzu’s as well cause I have a lot of art of him saved - his hair is so pretty pink 🥺 but I need time to work on it and I can’t promise it soon cause I have 30+ something wips pending (*T.T)

Everyone’s thirsting for Reo, (me praying at my Oliver shrine hoping that he comes out good and his va is what I imagined so I’m excited for it-) he does give off mature vibes and I’m like 100% sure he’s gonna be a sugar daddy on the market. *wheezing* Nagi share your bf 😭

Istg Izana’s expression - public execution. Time for them to be canceled on Twitter. I love seeing small fanarts like this. And I even found one Mikey art that had me thinking abt changing the theme of my blog

I said what i said. Rin doms his way out of problems- personality of an apple 💀 but they like him. It makes sense

And yeah we should expose issues. So for modeling, honestly it’s not about the body cause I’m pretty average looking like seriously - breaking mirrors was based on my experience; but it’s about the poise, confidence and manners you have as well. (although I have seen some of them be bitches for no reason? Being nice doesn’t cost you anything - being mean is just gonna make karma bite you in the ass) but I think people everywhere are beautiful - body standards shouldn’t determine anyone’s self worth. And I know models look pretty, it’s all about owning the image. Like I have peach fuzz. I don’t shave it instead I ended up cutting my hair short - which exposed it more. Instead of feeling upset about it, I just decided to own the look and be more confident cause this is the way I am and it changed a lot of things for me. In short, Willy Wonka was right about confidence being key -

As for my writing, I’m good at reading people tbh; and the same goes for characters as well - so I draw my own conclusions after dwelling on the thought - and yeah writing is therapeutic. Oh god ik that feeling on when you’re on a break and the feeling of having a jumpscare comes over you (>﹏<) can’t even have good time in peace

Ik it’s a good shirt - hmph. I’m not gonna take an opinion from someone who wears sweatpants and a loose tee. *wheezing* - real men would be sweating if they saw Aiku, Rindou and *proceeds to name 160 husbandos* at my door.

I love the idea for beauty and the beast library 🥺 how I wish I had that - *sigh* and yes! You can learn a lot of things from one convo with a person and if you think about it you literally have a lifetime to know everything about them - cause that one convo is never enough. I totally get the whole thing with a hyperfixation - researched a lot about Egypt when I was younger; and got fixated to a point my mom had to drag me away from the computer- fun fact; Arabic has words similar to Indonesian and Hindi! Leather jackets are so cool and comfy clothes are literally the best thing to sleep in - my ears get cold during the winter or when it sets in- so I wear headphones and walk around places.

Woo young woo is so precious and I love the way they introduce themselves - woo to the young to the woo - 🐋

For anime, I’m contemplating if I should re-watch Vinland saga - the way I cried in the last episode. I. Bawled my eyes out and I still get teary when I think about it 😭; latest updates on snacks, so I bought a lot of sour candy (yea I eat a lot of sour candy)- and my roommates thought it was really sweet. Ended up with headaches over how sour it was and accompanied me to the store, ended up buying sweet things and finished most of the candy and left me the mints ಠ_ಠ

So I mostly read books on history, politics and psychology. To get started I’d recommend going for some autobiography or biography; like geisha of Gion or historical fiction like memoirs of a Geisha - that’s what got me started. I’m glad you liked my comfort fic - a creation that makes me embarrassed cause when I read it the nicknames there are different and these are more solid and I use them for every fic atp. But yeah my fics have come a long way and no matter how cringe they seem, everyone has a starting point in their hobbies and this was one ‘em.

Speaking of Uni, when I had the Mikey and haitani brothers screensaver; remember that guy who made a comment about my weight that I told you about, calling him Danny btw- he said that there was a naked man on my screen.

Okay… and? Do you want the same screensaver I have? Will that make you feel better? So yeah there’s that and Uni had me by the neck cause of this one prof (T.T*) but life’s been going well otherwise! I hope you’re doing well (working on that side account so that I chat with you!) and sorry for the late response (ㅅ´ ˘ `)♡

*sending koala hugs back*

#Belle.☏#.lost sheep : ✨ anon

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