#time to make fun of conservatives

[tauforged]

posting every single one of the hex emojis/stickers that i've made thus far all in one place!!!!! had wayyyyy too much fun with these... and took the opportunity to flesh out some headcanons while i was at it :P some alternate crops/textless versions under the cut alsoo if anyone else wants to use them for evil in their discord servers

[samsno1]

the boys "sigma male" fans are so fucking funny cause wdym that Deep getting a blowjob from an octopus (and quite literally being in a relationship with it 😭) and a human centipide of australian kisses of clones is normal but frenchie being into men is suddenly SOOOO out of pocket

like, cmon yall, bffr.

[anetherealpoetess]

empathising with the women who feel forbidden from expressing desire over villains by some imaginary morality clause. villains are so, so sexy. villains transgress all manner of societal norms which is especially appealing to women as we have been confined and restricted all of our lives.

[kind of personally thought woman loving villains who want to burn it all down should make far more sense to everyone than woman identifying with heroes who want to keep everything intact? heroes uphold the status quo. the status quo in our world is patriarchal. there is no catharsis for women in seeing the current state of a world upheld, even if that world is in a galaxy far, far away. but seeing a character played by a handsome actor want to carve up the status quo? yeah. that's sexy. obviously.]

we aren't attracted to villains because we don't understand that they're bad; we like them because they are bad. because in their otherness we find symbolic representation. because in their defiance of societal norms we find catharsis.

[rileys-battlecats]

im at my friend’s wedding and. how do people dance for hours on end im dying

[fluentisonus]

part of the problem is that a lot of hugo's politics are really well thought out & considered & good but then some of them are like. entirely vibes-based to the point of feeling muddled & inconsistent & even straight up Bad sometimes. which is annoying

[the-emeralds-incorrect]

Dark Arts rant, apperently?

I don’t know how this happened but here we go:

Dark Arts classification makes no fucking sense. It’s technically legal according to wiki?? But throughout the whole series we have the “good” characters be viciously against them. Knockturn Alley is a thing but people are scared to go there. Ministry can just raid Malfoy’s house and fine them for having Dark objects in there so it’s not really legal??

One of the most obvious examples of stigma: in the fifth book they just throw away every dark object they don’t like from Grimmauld. But they have to have an actual use because why the fuck would the Black family just store useless trash at their home. The house that they fucking lived in. This shit could be so fucking useful if they just took the time to learn how to use it. Guys you’re going into a war why are u throwing away potentially very lethal useful weapons

They’re classified as magic that can cause harm but Light spells cause harm all the same and are still taught at school. There’s also an entire subject called Defense Against the Dark Arts. The wiki says they’re divided into jinxes, hexes and curses so at Hogwarts they learn at least one Dark spell (the Knockback Jinx) if we’re going by that logic (tho I can be misunderstanding something)?? We know about the unforgivables, but tbh at least for Avada you could find a way to use it ethically, for example in hospitals. It’s painless death. There could be a consent form you can sign that if for example you’re in a vegetative state, or idk a coma for a set amount of time, or just in fucking misery waiting to die, you can do it painlessly. Idk about you but if I was in horrible pain with no chance of recovery I would prefer that

Also the whole “Dark Arts damage the soul/the only defense against them is love” thing Dumbledore is on is just. So much fucking propaganda. I’m not even getting into it

Now we’re going more into speculation territory, but imo Dark Arts are obviously an important part of wizarding culture, seeing how many old families practice it. They have to be at least stigmatized, and partially illegal, at least in terms of dark objects (would that include books?). We all know how dark creatures are treated, ie werewolves/Remus.

but also, like, I genuinely can not believe all dark arts is designed to harm people. why would generations upon generations of those same families devote their entire lives to that. again and again. Don’t they have better things to do?

The Ministry is against dark arts. Hogwarts is against dark arts. Old timey families value it and hold it to a pedestal.

I suspect there’s some form of government regulations. Like, let’s say you’re making a new spell. I don’t think spellcrafting is a job so you’re just a scholar. You create it, it works, you’re happy. How do you share it with people? Maybe you would like it to be taught at Hogwarts, because you think people would generally benefit from knowing it. But to add it to a school curriculum, you need to get it approved. The Ministry handles it. So you go and register the spell. There’s now a list of approved (light) magic tm

And that’s where I think the distinction comes from. If the Ministry approves it, it’s Light. If they don’t, because they consider it harmful, it’s dark and illegal. And it’s put on a list of illegal things, idk. You can be prosecuted if someone catches you casting it

So Dark Arts are the things, spells, potions, etc, which the Ministry disallows the use of. But it’s also all the things that didn’t even try to register themselves. All the magical innovations that went under the radar.

Of course, you still want to share your inventions with people (or you don’t so you keep it hidden and nobody ever knows about it but we’re not talking about these types of cases here). You publish a book, a paper, something. In secret, of course, because it’s illegal, since it’s not on the LightTM list.

And that’s how the old families learn this shit. It’s a secret book club except the books are self published by the members.

So of course, some of it is harmful. Magic tends to be. But some of it is just not approved, and you don’t question why. You just use it.

(Also, Ollivander has a secret deal with all of these families, that for additional galleons, he removes the trace from the kids’ wands. It’s been like that ever since the distinction between Light and Dark magic came to be. They have to keep the business afloat, am I right?)

[tevatron]

i'm so glad i won't be working with my pi after this month. i think i've reached my limit. i just can't deal with her anymore

[bigmeansweatydyke]

the long-ago aforementioned cool bi girl turned wannabe cathtradwife friend is currently getting flamed on facebook by friend and acquaintances. karma's a bitch ya shoulda known betta

[bleuberrygliscor]

im out of the "information/ fact checking" game, but im begging yall to look into not just the sources of the articles you like and reblog, but the people who wrote them too.

[borntolurk]

I'm seeing a bunch of takes here about how in S2 Aziraphale is too warm and cuddly and really he's supposed to be a bastard and Crowley is the cinnamon roll or whatever- and people turn to the book or S1 for proof. I do want to point out though that in the book, it's Crowley who literally HITS ANATHEMA WITH HIS CAR and Aziraphale who heals her broken bones, insists against Crowley's protestations on giving her a ride home, and doesn't just fix her bike but adds extra features.

Does Aziraphale then go on to, well, not quite steal but illicitly retain her well loved family heirloom after she leaves it in the car? Well, yes. And Crowley does feel guilty that he didn't have any lights on. But the point is that both of them are complex.

[that-was-anticlimactic]

just got in an argument with my mom and sister because they said that comedians making offensive jokes are funny because “they’re not talking about a specific person, you just don’t have to take it personally” like HELLO??? i used an example with ts since, you know, i have ts and they were like “i’d laugh at a ts joke because they’d be joking about the stereotype” like yOU DO SEE HOW THAT’S EXACTLY THE ISSUE, RIGHT??? and i said that there’s a difference between Me making ts jokes and someone who Doesn’t have ts making ts jokes because 1. mine are actually funny aND TRUE 2. coping 3. I’M NOT MOCKING TS like God

comedians aren’t funny and if you need to insult other people to Be funny then you were never funny to begin with UGH

[toytulini]

I saw Barbie last night, I dont think i have a long film review of it for yall but idk I'll put some thoughts under a readmore I guess?

-Right off the bat, I enjoyed it, it was fun. It was a fun pink poppy romp. Thats about what I expected of it, and thats pretty much what I got

-Its not particularly radical in its gender/feminism takes, its very basic, which, I saw a number of ppl mention that before I saw it so I wasnt expecting anything radical. It couldve done better. it was. fine. im shrug about it i guess.

-My mom enjoyed it and was apparently not expecting any sort of emotional depth or story at all so it caught her off guard. I heard her crying. she cries easy at movies. I'm glad my mom liked it. Maybe she'll absorb some of the very basic feminism it drops idk.

-I knew the Kens adopted patriarchy and introduced it to Barbieland but it felt lile that happened very fast, idk.

-The ending....I. is her going to a gynecologist supposed to be like. shes gotten a vagina by deciding to be human?? or is she trying to schedule a surgery or something? that felt pretty weird to me if im honest, i thought it was gonna be a job interview or smth... Especially with how everyone was like "Barbie is ace (heheeh i agree) cos she has no genitals! (sorry what. excuse me. wanna run that by me again?)" like okay that makes that headcanon reasoning even more dewply uncomfortable that it already was?

-I enjoyed weird Barbie. i wish theyd cast someone else cos iirc ka/te mckin/non was a transmisogynist? unless she apologized or said she changed her mind on the topic since like 2017?? but i havent seen anything? idk. just. annoying to keep platforming these ppl. i guess theres probably other actors involved that have shit views of trans ppl. whatever i guess.

-I did dress up a little. i feel like my outfit had Weird Barbie Vibes. maybe ill post a pic.

-I did enjoy it and it had a number of shots and or transitions i liked, i think the one with the disco ball to the moon or whatever was enjoyable.

-god we really are so weird about barbie

-it just feels factually incorrect that all dolls pre barbie were baby dolls? idk. im sure it was the most common kind. but idk. not to be weird about The History Of Dolls but like. the porcelain dolls from the Victorian era. idk if those count as baby dolls. iirc those were to help young girls practice prepping dead bodies of loved ones for funerals or smth??? but i guess porcelain dolls have a sort of babyish look about them. and are fragile so you cant play rough with them.

-Like i Know its a 2hr long toy commercial for mattel but also god that cant be right. even if they werent filling the same niche as barbie as idk basically a fashion doll? there had to be other dolls right?

-I know the flat foot thing is Supposed to be over the top and silly for them all to get upset about but also tbh. as a bitch with falling arches the way some of yall make jokes about flat feet still is uh. well. rude. but also lmao man. the day my arches started hurting for no reason while i was barefoot did sorta feel emotionally like her feet falling to the ground lol.

-i want to introduce barbie to margot robbie's harley quinn owo. i think that would be Fun :3

-i want Ken's job. how do i do Beach as an occupation.

-I actually liked how they handled Ken and Barbie's rship til the end. i feel weird about that ending overall and also it feels weak wrt her dynamic as Ken. they make him grapple w her not reciprocating his feelings the same way but then she just leaves barbieland anyway?? and ig they dont get to explore a friendship or qpr dynamic. ok. its fine i guess.

-her saying she has no genitalia felt so transgender in a way im not sure it was intended to. ken saying he has all of the genitalia felt even more transgender. headcanoning them both as extremely transgender in fun weird new ways and no one can stop me.

-Allan is my favorite character i think. bro me too

-bibbleless movie. add bibble.

[gibbearish]

saw the barbie movie

[redrockbutch]

The sheer number of conservative mini conspiracies that focus around forcing them to do something they wouldn't choose to do that is nonetheless harmless is fucking wild like they really think the govt has spent billions and billions of dollars on "3D printed meat" and snuck it into grocery stores just to cuck them personally

[banannabethchase]

Ah yes the two genders. Dinosaur and unicorn.

[selamat-linting]

by the way when i say i like political references in music i dont mean vague jabs at current events i mean guys who sang about some us war crime from the 90s that never got news coverage or guys who put annotations of fucking wikipedia articles in their lyrics. i mean people who sing about politics with earnest, not in this semi-ironic detached jabs or a stupid twitter gotcha or worse, treating the subject matter of the song as something that's gone out of hand and they cant do anything about it but laugh or shrug. political music's only good when its passionate and the singer sung as if they could change the world by speaking their truth in art. i'd choose cheesy over smug apathy.