#tiny malex at the end

[pastelwitchling]

Alex visits Michael at work.

***

              Michael used to hate Mondays.

He hated having to work at the junkyard instead of tinkering down at the bunker, studying his constellations and glancing at his phone every night to see if Alex’s workday had been bad enough that he’d deign to call and tell Michael about it. It rarely happened, of course, as he’d realized one night when he’d gone to the Pony and found Alex at a table with Kyle that his airman had other people he was starting to turn to.

Now things were different. Now, Alex missed Michael too much in the middle of a workday. Now, before Michael even had the chance to check his phone during breaks, Alex was driving over into the junkyard to share a to-go meal with him. Now, Alex picked up every time Michael called and sighed with relief at the cowboy’s voice. Now, Alex pushed Michael against the hood of whatever car he was working on and kissed him and kissed him and kissed him that when he pulled away, Michael’s head was spinning and he couldn’t stop smiling.

“Missed me?” he murmured, brushing Alex’s nose with his own.

Alex heaved a deep sigh, probably his first all day, as he pressed their foreheads together. “So much.”

Michael bit his lower lip to keep his grin from widening as he wrapped his arms around Alex’s waist. Alex didn’t even seem to care that Michael was covered in sweat. “I missed you too,” he said and kissed the corner of Alex’s lips, his cheek, his jaw before he hugged him tight, burying his face in the crook of Alex’s neck. “Don’t go back.”

“I have to,” Alex said, sounding equally miserable. “My lunchbreak ends in, like, ten minutes.”

“Call in sick.”

“It’s not that kind of job, Michael!” he laughed, and Michael smiled against his neck at the sound.

“I love your laugh,” he murmured. Then – “Stay here.”

“No,” Alex laughed, trying to step out of Michael’s hold only for Michael to cling tighter to him. “Let me go!”

“Never,” Michael sighed contently into Alex’s shoulder. “You’re mine.”

“I know I am!” he cackled. “But I have work!” Again he squirmed and struggled, and Michael held him tight enough that he had no hope of being released. “Guerin!”

Michael pressed some kisses to Alex’s neck until Alex’s body was melting against him instead.

Realizing that Michael was, in fact, not joking and really wasn’t planning on letting him go, Alex groaned, resigned and fond. “Bastard.”

Michael smiled and bit his shoulder, reveling in the tiny jolt of Alex’s body. “Stay here,” he repeated softly.

Alex slid a hand into his hair and tugged at the roots, and Michael’s eyes fluttered shut. “Four more hours,” Alex said. “Can’t you wait just four more hours?”

Michael grabbed fistfuls of his jacket. “I can’t be away from you for four more minutes. Stay here. Just today. I need you today.”

Alex was still running his other hand between Michael’s shoulder blades, soothing him. Finally, he sighed, and Michael smiled, knowing he’d won.

“Just for you,” Alex murmured, kissing the shell of Michael’s ear and hugging him back just as tightly, “Just for you, I don’t mind losing.”

***

Happy malex Monday ❤️

[andrea-lyn]

Okay, if you still have room for prompts, anything you'd like to write (maybe a couple of years in the future) for Maribel in Dr. Isobel Evans and the Fountain of Youth universe?

Every year on Maria’s birthday, Isobel gives her twopresents.Isobel’s finishing up the first present (with her tongue working very hard tomake sure it’s the best birthday present ever) when Maria tugs on her hair andbrings Isobel up towards her lips for a messy kiss. “I know what I want thisyear,” Maria says, a sparkle in her eyes, “for my special birthday present.”Every year after Isobel devotes hours to worshiping her girlfriend’s body, sheoffers one adventure into an old myth or artifact – Maria’s choice – which theygo chasing down after. Isobel’s had to put some restrictions on it because sheneeds to be able to actually find it, which is why she’s taken to giving Mariaher book of half-finished cases for Maria to slide through and pick.“Oh?” Isobel murmurs against the kiss, straddling her girlfriend so she canteasingly slide her fingers over her abdomen, toying and gently advancingtowards her breasts. “And what adventure are you dragging me on this year?”“Medusa,” Maria says, tugging Isobel down for another kiss.

Isobel drags herself away from the kiss reluctantly, but she needs to make sureMaria’s serious about this one. “You’re sure?”It’s not that she can’t deliver (she actually thinks she’s very close on thisone, to the point that she knows the exact location of where they need to go,even though when they get there is where the adventure truly starts). It’s thepart where it’s a dangerous case if the legends are to be believed. If Mariaand Isobel have learned anything over the years, it’s that most of the legendsthat they hear about are simply real things that got twisted into myths.Isobel has to wonder if there aren’t a few tall tales about her out there.(Privately, she hopes there are)“I’m so sure,” Maria promises, her breath hitching as Isobel’s long hands splayover her rib cage and those deep breaths send Isobel’s palms rising and falling.“Scorned woman who gets revenge on men?” She gives Isobel a confident littlegrin. “Sounds right up our alley.”She’s right about that.“Then we’re on the case,” Isobel makes her promise. “I’ll call in and give theschool my notice, book the tickets tonight. Hand me my phone?” “Really? You want your phone right now?” Maria tips her head to the side andflips them so that Isobel’s the one on her back. Maria begins to slowly inchher way gracefully lower, pressing slow kisses over Isobel’s skin as she goes.“There’s nothing I can do to convince you to hold that thought for tomorrowmorning?”Isobel’s back arches as Maria pushes her thighs apart and her curls tickle thesensitive skin there as she begins to be very distracting. Letting out ayelp and a pleading cry, Isobel tangles her hands in Maria’s hair, breathingraggedly as she decides that sure, tomorrow sounds like the perfect time to dothe work.“Fuck, Maria,” she gets out, her voice low and thick with need.“That’s next,” is Maria’s guarantee, but Isobel wants less talking and moreattention paid to her, so she uses her fingers to dig into Maria’s hair andguide her back to what she wants. It might be Maria’s birthday, but that’s no excuse for Isobel to go completelywithout pleasure tonight.And tomorrow, she’ll start planning a trip to go and search for the mythicalMedusa. *A week later, Isobel’s got their bags packed and is in her summer best – alinen white pantsuit and a large-brimmed hat. She hands Maria the planetickets, taking smug delight in seeing Maria’s face light up. “Greece?”“Sometimes, the myth’s not completely wrong,” Isobel says, wrapping herarm around Maria’s waist to guide her to the hired car that’s waiting. “I haveher tracked down to a small village in Greece. There are stories right up untila few months ago about lifelike statues of certain objects, including men,” shesays. “Whatever Medusa might have been once upon a time is still happening now.From my research, I think they’re aliens who pass their powers down to the nextgeneration,” Isobel shares as she helps Maria into the car.“So she’s real? Medusa is real?” Maria asks dubiously. “You’re the one who picked this case!”“I thought maybe it would be some kind of artifact that might touch you tostone. Maybe, I don’t know, a vase or a hairbrush.” Maria’s eyes are growingwider and Isobel recognizes that look. They’re not leaving Greece until theyfind this woman, so Isobel has to hope this isn’t a dead end.  “It’s a woman, a poor woman.” Her gaze growssteely and she turns on her seat to look at Isobel. “We’re going to rescueher.”“Yes, we are,” Isobel guarantees.The rewarding kiss that Isobel gets for her staunch determination is a niceincentive, even though it’s one she wouldn’t have needed. Maria has a habit ofpicking the most amazing cases for them to look into, and now that they’vedeveloped a routine, Isobel feels safe bringing Maria into the field with her. It's an easy trip to Greece, seeing as Isobel’s booked them in first class thewhole way there, which means that when they arrive, she’s feeling refreshed andready to go. She settles her satchel over her shoulder, sable fedora on her head, and linksarms with Maria as she brings them to the small coastal town where the trailhad gone cold. It’s a beautiful seaside town with mountains nearby, a placethat Isobel thinks could have been a romantic getaway even without theadventuring side-trip aspect.Isobel will focus on the beautiful sights around them later. Right now, she’s ready to go, eager, and they have a trail to pick up. “What doyou say we go talk to some locals?” Isobel suggests, once they’ve unpacked intheir hotel penthouse suite (because Isobel only travels in style and she lovessplurging on Maria). “I was thinking ouzo at the bar,” Maria agrees, with a flirty little smileIsobel’s way. She adjusts her wide-brimmed sun hat, leading the way in a shortlittle sundress that’s definitely going to get Isobel plenty thirsty soon. They’ve got work to do before they get to their celebrations. “Sounds like a plan.”It's a plan that gets them exactly where they need to be, as it turns out.Because the moment they enter the tavern, Isobel hears it. It’s a mournful wailing that can’t be ignored, something that only other alienswould be able to do. Isobel feels completely vindicated and despite theheadache she’s going to have, she’s smiling smugly. “What?” Maria asks, knowing her girlfriend well.“I hear her,” Isobel says, doubling back on the tavern to search for where thatcry is coming from. When she turns towards the mountains, it seems to amplify.“There,” she says, and tugs on Maria’s hand to get them moving that way. The ouzo is going to have to wait. Isobel follows the distressed psychic call in her mind, knowing with immenseclarity that Medusa isn’t just a real woman, but she’s an alien. She tugs onMaria’s hand to bring her along, towards the cavernous mountain complex. Asthey move, it begins to get louder, more like a scream than a piercingalarm, and she stops near a large mansion that sits on the mountainside.“Iz,” Maria murmurs, when Isobel stops in her tracks. “What is it? Is it here?”Isobel tries to sort through the screaming in her head, because it’s not comingfrom the house. She looks to the side, where there’s a grotto-like entrancenearby in the garden. Wordlessly, she begins to pull Maria with her, knowingthat the hairs on the back of her neck are standing on end and she should becautious, but she knows that this is the right way to go. Whatever is waiting for them is inside that cave structure. “Isobel,” Maria hisses, more worried now. “No, it’s okay,” Isobel promises, because the screaming is gone. She’s closedher eyes to send out a peaceful signal, that they’re here to rescue the woman,that they’re friends, and it’s going to be okay. “I promise, it’s okay,” sheguarantees, and advances towards the cave. It’s a deep structure, with limestone and labyrinthine twists and turns, but agentle slope downwards. Isobel creeps further into the cave, passing a manfrozen in time in stone form. She can hear breathing a little further and whenshe glances up, she sees a beautiful woman behind bars. There are no snakes inher hair, but it’s clearly matted. Not for one moment does Isobel fear avertingher gaze.Whatever happened to this man had been done purposefully, and Isobel trusts thesame won’t happen to them.“Oh, thank the heavens,” the woman sobs. “It’s been four days since I got soangry and turned him to stone and the last of my food ran out this morning. Ithought I was doomed, I thought I was done for.”That psychic resonance from earlier makes sense now. It had been a last-ditchattempt – a desperate wail to try and get another alien’s attention.Cautiously, she steps aside to gesture for Maria to come into the cave, stillwary, but trusting that they’re not going to be turned to stone.“I’m Isobel Evans and this is my girlfriend, Maria. We’re not here to hurtyou,” she says bluntly, wanting to make sure they’re all on the same page whenit comes to that.“I’m Marianna Méduse,” she introduces herself, but her smile turns wry andbrittle. “I think you already know what it is my family can do.”“How long have you been here?” Maria asks, her brow furrowed and her tonedripping with sympathy. Isobel almost tells her to roll it back, because pityisn’t something that a prisoner is probably after. Marianna doesn’t seem to mind, but she likely has other things that she’sworried about. “Only a few weeks,” she says, exhaling with dismay. “I’m normally so good atkeeping my powers contained. When I get so angry that they activate, it’s onlyanimals that I turned or inanimate objects. Then, a month ago in the local bar,some man grabbed by arm too tightly. I turned on him and it was instantaneous,like I didn’t even think about it. They locked me up here in this torture caveafter.”“Men,” Isobel says derisively, with all the proper hatred in her voice. Shefocuses on the lock, using powers that Michael’s been teaching her to unlockit, watching the door swing open. “The good news is that we’re here to rescueyou,” she says brightly. “And you can do whatever you want.”“You’re like me? An alien?” Marianna says, staring at Isobel.“I heard you,” Isobel says, which should give her the answer she’s looking for.“I’m like you, and if you want to come with us, we’d like to take you away fromhere, give you some security.” Isobel can only imagine that the town is nolonger a home for her. She can only imagine the spectacle of what must havehappened in the bar and the witch hunt that had followed to get Marianna lockedup like this.She lets her gaze slide between the two of them, clearly still nervous aboutthem, and unsteady about whatever decision she’s about to make.“Isobel means what she says,” Maria adds, stepping forward to hold out bothhands to her. It’s an invitation and an opening, showing that they’re allowingthemselves to be vulnerable to her. “We’ll take care of you, we promise. Thereare others like you back where we live. People like you, and you can beyourself.”Marianna glances to Isobel, like she’s waiting for her advice.“It’s your choice,” she says. “But I think Maria’s right. There’s a whole otherworld waiting for you and I’d like to show you that you can be an alien in thisworld and not be afraid.”Marianna steps forward, takes Maria’s hands, and sags forward with a relievedsob. Well, at least bringing a woman back home with them is going to be much easierto clear through customs than a cursed vase or statue. The logistics of whatthey’re going to do once she gets there is a little trickier, but Isobeldoesn’t care at the moment. They’ve rescued an imprisoned woman and are givingan alien a new chance at life.She’ll call that a successful mission any day.*“I still can’t believe you did that,” Michael mutters as he drinks his secondof the night, care of Mimi’s soft spot for him. Maria would never give him twoin a row so quickly (or for free), but Mimi’s been out of the hospital for afew days now and every time Michael smiles sweetly at her and reminds her thatAlex married him, she melts and pours him a new one.One day, that’s going to stop working.And one day, Isobel will stop being jealous that she doesn’t get the same eventhough she’s dating Mimi’s daughter (though maybe if she got off her ass andproposed, she’d get all the free drinks she wants).Isobel pries her gaze away from the booth at the back of the bar, even if it’snearly impossible to take her eyes off Maria when she’s wearing that gorgeous bluedress. “What?”Michael rolls his eyes. “Earth to Isobel,” he quips, snapping his fingers infront of her face. He gestures heatedly to the booth. “That!”Isobel looks back to try and understand why Michael’s so annoyed. Maria andAlex have got Marianna there with them, getting her acclimatized to life backin society. They’re starting with Roswell instead of a bigger city because theywant to make sure that she’s comfortable before she goes back out into theworld fully.Kyle’s also there, because Maria and Isobel had conspired to introduce Mariannato a few decent men.Oh.Well, that explains Michael’s annoyance. “He’s not the same asshole he used tobe, you know. Maria and I thought it’d be nice if Marianna met a decent guy.”Michael opens his mouth and Isobel rolls her eyes. “Alex is married and doesn’tcount,” she cuts him off, already knowing exactly what he was going to say.“I still think there are better men out there,” Michael grumbles, picking upthe beers so they can head back to that table. “You married the one you think is best,” Isobel counters. “Of course you do.”“Speaking of marriage…”Isobel’s on her feet, because she doesn’t need this grief from Michael, either.“Maria!” she says brightly, walking fast enough to get in front of Michael sohe can’t push a topic that she’s planning (she just needs more time).“How’s everything over here?” she asks, settling back into Maria’s arms. “Marianna and Kyle were just talking about how they both want to go on a roadtrip and how she’s always wanted to see California.” Isobel recognizes thatsmug note in Maria’s voice. She loves the thrill of the hunt, but she alsoenjoys meddling in the love lives of their friends (which is partially why sheand Michael get along, because neither of them can stop pestering the otherabout their relationships). “I was giving them some tips.”Michael puts the beer in front of Alex before he slides in beside him. “And if he turns out to snore in his sleep,” he jokes, “then none of us wouldmind a stone Valenti.”“It would immortalize his abs,” Alex says absently, sipping at his beer. “Giveus a chance to touch them more.”Kyle flushes furiously red, Michael lets out a jealous cry, and Isobel can’thelp laughing until she cries, loving how badly that’s backfired on him. Shecan tell Marianna is still slightly out of her depth here, but Maria’s betterthan all of them, because she’s the one who leans over and murmurs, “Take theroad trip,” in an encouraging tone, “and definitely get to see the abs.”“They’re an attraction of their own,” Isobel agrees, getting comfortable atMaria’s side as all hell breaks loose. She doesn’t care in the slightest. It’s been another amazing adventure andanother great year with her girlfriend. Better than that, Isobel’s alreadyconcocting a plan to make Maria’s birthday next year the best yet, because whatcould be better than a proposal and a honeymoon adventure?Nothing in the world, as far as Isobel’s concerned.

[lovecolibri]

My 5 favorite fics that I’ve written (for fic writer appreciation day)

Tagged by the lovely @ravens-words, thank you! 😊

I'm not actually much of a writer and I only have 5 fics in total so I'm getting to brag about all of them!

Heart of Courage A.K.A my 2x06 spite fic that is actually mostly Malex talking and some delicious hurt/comfort. The first fic I ever posted and one I am so, so proud of.

After getting so wrapped up in each other that they forget about Maria entirely, Alex decides he is going to fight for Michael and confronts Maria about her treatment of Michael, and him, and what happened. Then, Alex and Michael take care of each other after a harrowing day and take the chance to talk, sharing secrets, fears, and apologies. This is soft, soft Malex, bringing ALL of the comfort after the hurt they have endured.

Caging Each Other In is just a sweet little Malex drabble about them being happy and in love

A nebulous, well adjusted future Malex getting handsy on a night out

Be Here To Love Me is a little fic based on some speculation around a BTS photo of what looked to be Alex and Michael on a hospital set. A tiny bit of angst but a lot of Michael taking care of Alex.

Alex slips and falls. Michael feels bad. Kyle dredges up the past. Malex share a *moment* and Michael takes Alex home to care for him.

Dancing In The Dark was supposed to be a quick little scene about Alex helping Michael shave but I needed a reason for that to happen so I invented a fancy event and it got way out of hand after that! But I stand by all the mushy, fluffy feels here AND Sanders gets a nice evening too which he deserves. Also, if you want a hint of Malex wedding feels, I've got those here too!

Michael has an accident shaving before a big event. Alex steps in to help and flirt, while Michael continues to be obtuse. There is a little dancing and a "sweet" ending.

If Time Is Money, I'll Spend It All For You is probably my favorite thing I've ever done and while it's the last fic I posted, it's the first one I started. It is domestic Malex at their absolute most cheesy and adorable and while it got wildly out of hand, I stand by every word. If you would like what basically amounts to a tour of a kids science museum, as well as Michael getting to be spoiled and overcome with childlike wonder, this is the fic for you.

Alex wants to plan the perfect birthday for Michael and doesn't quite know what to do until Kyle offers him a suggestion to recapture some of their childhood that is just too good to pass up. Alex and Michael spend a whole day recapturing their youth, and a whole weekend relaxing and in love.

[facelessfrey]

Roswell New Mexico - Season 4 Episode 2

So uhh....Alex just got sucked underground by alien related nonsense. I suppose I should at least be glad that if he’s having less screen time this season, it’s at least part of the main plot and not just because he’s supposedly at Deep Sky working even though everyone will think he’s just out on a work trip. But uhhh...also I don’t like it and I don’t want him to be MIA forever with this being the last season. We better get a damn good reunion scene. 

That said, the Malex goodbye scene was lovely right down to the his and his alien best friends forever soulmate necklaces. Also, for god’s sake just say “I love you”. If they don’t get to say it before the end of the season/series, I will be mad. I mean I know they’ve said it in a million other ways but the actual words would be nice. Still, it’s nice that Michael was going to trust Alex with the console in the end. 

The tiny Sanders scene was also amazing. I like that we got a little bit with him and he always give Michael good advice about Alex so it’s great to see more of that. In the same vein, I like that we’ve gotten a bit more Arturo so far this season too. I like getting the parent/parental figures involved where we can. I still would like Arturo to be in the know on aliens though. I think it’s wild that he’s not. I suppose in the original show, Liz’s dad didn’t know until the very end through Liz’s journals but I want Arturo to know. He deserves to. 

Last thing about Alex, I was so excited that he got to be in a scene with other people in this episode in that little meeting with Max and Dallas. I’m sad that this may be all we’re going to get for a good while. Sigh. 

Speaking of Dallas, last week I was all ooh maybe him and Maria and now Maria was MIA and now I’m all like “yes Cameron and Dallas”. I just want him to have someone in the end. I’m also just again glad to see him integrating with the group and getting to help out with the investigation and such. 

Max was kind of frustrating this week with being dismissive to Dallas and then kind of awful to Anatsa. I mean I get that he doesn’t want her looking into the case and she’s kind of a problem but still...chill out man. Don’t be such a dick. 

I like the idea of Liz trying to find a good balance between getting obsessive about the science and having a life. I don’t think that was as well articulated last week when she turned Max down or talked to Arturo so I’m glad it was elaborated on this week. And I liked the wife whose name I have forgotten. She gave good advice...and alien related gifts. 

I still miss Rosa. Her name was in the credits this week (I don’t remember if it was last week) but it got me all excited and then...no Rosa. Sigh. 

Kyle was stuck at the hospital again but at least he was somewhat involved in things with Anatsa and Isobel. Also, the ONLY reason I will tolerate Steph 2.0 as @bisexualalienblast referred to her is to make Isobel realize her feelings, which might have been starting to happen there at the end when she saw them on their date. I’m here for that because I know Isobel and Anatsa isn’t going to last obviously. Although I think they’re obviously doing miles better than Alex and Forrest and better than Michael and Maria in a lot of ways too. The conflict feels believable that Isobel doesn’t know how to tell her about the alien stuff which sits at odds with Anatsa’s reporter nature trying to dig up the truth. In some ways Kyle is the easier option because he already know, but they have so much trust between them that it seems is harder for Isobel to find with Anatsa. I don’t know, we’ll see how it goes. 

Plot wise, I feel like I’m always less annoyed at the start of a season because they haven’t had a chance to just completely drop a plot and switch gears. That usually happens half way through but this whole Jones contingency plan triad seems like it maybe actually has legs for the whole season the way that Jones did but right now they don’t really seem to have a secondary distracting thing per say so maybe this will finally be the season that they make things simpler on that front and don’t bite off more than they can chew. Time will tell. 

But right now it feels mildly less stressful to watch than usual, which feels encouraging. I feel like Tesca is the most interesting of the three but maybe that’s also because she’s more mysterious and we haven’t seen as much from her. But she’s also clearly the leader of the bunch. I’m still not quite sure what their goal is. Are they trying to recreate Oasis on Earth? It half sounded like that and half not. 

I am kind of glad they’ve dragged Graham Greene back into things again. I always felt like he was a missed opportunity when it came to the show. He or his twin always get dragged in a little but they never real commit to him properly being part of the story. So we’ll see if that happens at all this time or if he’s just never seen again after this. 

Also interesting, was hearing Ophiuchus again. They really are bringing us back full circle to season one. With that, with the Alighting, even with Michael’s console. I do like that because all of these things were weird hanging threads that often annoyed me in seasons 2 and 3 so I’m glad we’re getting back to them before the end. Remains to be seen what they do with all that but it’s at least promising that they remembered. 

Honestly, it feels strange not to be yelling in all caps about the absurdity of this show. Has it improved? I feel like it has to some degree. I guess we have to see how it goes. They still have a problem with characters who are not in episodes just not being mentioned at all. I wonder how much Alex will be remembered while he’s off screen. (Also do we know how many episodes he missed? Sigh)

[jule1122]

Malex NYE Ficlet

Tiny little fic written in response to a discussion on the literal skeletons discord server about Alex and Michael having their first New Year’s Eve together.

Isobel moves her New Year's Eve party to the Wild Pony because Maria can't afford to be short staffed on one of her busiest nights of the year. Alex and Michael leave at 11 despite Liz's protest. They enjoy celebrating with their family, but they set aside part of the night for just two of them. 

Midnight finds them kissing on the couch, drinks forgotten on the coffee table. Alex's hands are tangled in Michael's hair, and Michael absent mindedly stokes Alex's neck as they kiss. 

When the fireworks and gunshots go off, Michael pulls back. He gives Alex one more quick kiss in response to his pout before asking, "Any resolutions?" 

Alex thinks a moment before answering, "To keep talking to you, to tell you the things I think you need protected from or I'm afraid will make you turn away from me because secrets only make things worse." 

Michael squeezes his hand, "Is that all?"

 "To let myself be happy without wondering if I deserve it or worrying about when it will end."

 "I like seeing you happy," Michael says quietly, leaning in for another soft kiss. 

"What about you?" Alex asks. 

"To ask questions and listen to the answers instead of assuming I know how you feel or what you are thinking. To enjoy being with you without waiting for something to take you away again, to trust that you are here to stay."

 Alex blinks back tears, "I like seeing you happy," he repeats because he can't find better words right now. He takes a breath and adds just a little more, " I want to be there to see you happy, to help make you happy." 

"Damn, I love you," Michael laughs through the tightness in his throat. 

"I love you, too," Alex starts to pull Michael in for another kiss, but Michael holds up his hand. 

"One more," he says.

 Alex raises one eyebrow and waits for Michael to continue.

 "I'm going to convince you to get a dog." 

"Only if you move in with me," Alex counters with a smile. 

"What are you doing tomorrow?" Michael says before pushing Alex down onto the couch.

[justlightlysedated]

For the kisses prompts - #27 for Malex please 😘😘

27. desperate kisses

Michael is too busy feeling pure and unadulterated relief as he stares at Liz and Max and Isobel and even Kyle, all in a massive group hug, celebrating their success at finally getting rid of Jones, to notice that Alex is staring at him intently.

Michael tries to push all the happiness he feels at this moment at the forefront of his mind, trying to forget the price that he still hasn't paid, but the moment his eyes flicker over to Alex, to see that Alex is looking at him intently, he knows he's fucked.

Alex inhales sharply, eyes going wide at whatever look flashes across Michael's face before he looks away.

"What did you do, Guerin?" Alex's voice cuts through the happy chatter and demands attention and Michael is helpless against it.

He looks from Alex to everyone who seem to realize collectively there is something that they're missing.

"Alex-" he starts taking a step towards him, wanting to steer this conversation outside and away from prying eyes.

"No," Alex says, and he's still staring at Michael like he can divine the answer to his question if he looks hard enough. "You're going to tell me what you did so that I can fix it."

"There's nothing to fix," Michael says, moving closer, and feeling a stab of despair when Alex takes a matching step backwards. "I did what I had to do."

It's almost as though a wall falls over Alex's face, and Michael's despair gets even more potent.

Jones-his father- had promised him a week to say goodbye, and he'd been thinking about how to break the news to everyone gently, especially to Alex.

They were in such a good place right now. It felt amazing. Michael doesn't think that he's ever been happier. He doesn't think that he'll ever be as happy.

And he'd wanted to hold on to it for as long as he could.

"Look," he says, and moves fast enough that Alex doesn't have time to move back, placing a hand on Alex's shoulder. "Jones is gone. He's never going to bother us again. So can't we just celebrate that and then worry about the rest tomorrow?"

Alex blinks several times, eyes darting all over Michael's face.

"Why can't you just tell me what you did?" Alex asks, eyes growing bright. "The way that you're acting tells me it's bad Michael. I just want to help you."

"You can't," Michael says on an exhale, letting his hand fall from Alex's shoulder, knowing that he's going to have to tell Alex the truth, right now.

"What did you do?" Alex asks again, voice shaking like he knows exactly what Michael is going to say.

Michael exhales roughly, and pushes down the pain and hurt he can feel stuck right in his throat.

"Jones is leaving the planet, and he needs an engineer."

It doesn't take long for Alex to understand. He inhales sharply and shakes his head in denial.

"No," he says and his voice cracks and reeks of heartbreak.

"Alex," Michael says, moving forward.

"No," Alex says again, in exactly the same way, and then he's leaving, walking out of the bar as fast as he can.

Michael looks at the door as it closes behind him, and jumps when Isobel's voice rings in his head, in tandem with Liz's voice in his ears.

"Go after him," they both say, making Michael jump.

In his haste to soothe Alex, he'd forgotten that they weren't alone.

Michael looks back at the others and he sees some knowing faces and some still confused faces, but he still has a week to deal with that, and the further that Alex gets, the more likely Michael won't see him again.

He runs out the door, letting it swing shut behind himself.

He looks around and doesn't have to look far to spot Alex, who is leaning against the back of Michael's truck, face in his hands, shoulders shaking.

Michael makes it to him in record time, but before he can touch him, Alex is moving.

"Don't touch me," he says, backing away from Michael, and his face is red, and his eyes are bloodshot and there tears dripping down from his chin.

Michael's heart shatters into millions of pieces that makes it difficult to breathe, to think.

"I'm sorry," he says, hands clenched to his sides, wanting to move closer, but knowing that Alex won't accept the comfort right now. "Alex, I am so sorry. But I had to save him."

"I know," he responds. "I know how important Max is to you Michael. I've been doing everything that I can to help. We all have. You're not fighting alone."

"I know," Michael says, taking a step closer and trying not to drown in relief when Alex doesn't move away. "I just-"

"Needed to be a self sacrificing idiot," Alex says, and his voice would be mocking if it wasn't for the fact that he was still crying.

Michael just looks away from him, wanting to find the right words to say, but Alex talks again.

"Why can't you just let yourself be happy?" He demands.

"Alex," Michael tries to speak, but Alex talks over him.

"You are happy with me, aren't you?"

"Of course I am," Michael says, taking several more steps closer.

"And our relationship is good, isn't it?"

"It's better than good," Michael assures him, stopping when he's within arm's length of Alex. 

Alex doesn't move but he tracks his movements like a predator.

"Then why are you giving it up?" He asks, sounding desolate, the words hitting Michael right in the stomach. "Why are you tearing us apart?"

Michael shakes his head, reaching for Alex, but Alex blocks his hands, not moving backwards but not ready for Michael to touch him.

"I-" Michael starts but he can't finish.

There is no explanation that he could give that would satisfy him. Michael had been given the choice and he'd jumped on it because nothing else was working and more and more people were dying, and he could save Max and protect everyone else.

It had been an easy choice, until he'd seen Alex and realized exactly what it meant.

"I love you," Alex says, the words coming out of his mouth in a sharp painful gasp. "Does that even matter to you at all?"

Michael feels horror, sweeping through him and leaving him cold. And he acts as the words stay stuck in his mouth unwilling to come out.

He digs his fingers into Alex's shoulders and tugs him forward. Alex collapses into his arms, wrapping his fingers in Michael's jacket and pushing his face into Michael's neck, a sob falling out of his mouth.

Michael wraps his arms around him tightly, almost too tight he's sure, but Alex is shaking like he's about to fall into tiny pieces right in Michael's hands and the only thing holding him together is Michael's touch.

Michael presses his face to the side of Alex's face, and presses a kiss high up on his cheek, breathing out shakily and struggling not to cry.

Alex jolts at the touch like it hurts, and before Michael can ask what's wrong, Alex is moving, but instead of getting out of Michael's arms, he moves in closer.

He presses his hands to Michael's face, fingers shaky and damp, and then he kisses him, a shuddering touch, too hard, and then another, and another, and another, each one brief and shaky.

Michael slides his hands to either side of Alex's neck, and he tilts his head and kisses him back.

Alex surges into the touch, desperate and wild, almost like a live wire in Michael's hands, digging his fingers harder against Michael's face and biting against his lips hard enough to draw blood.

Michael hisses at the pain, but Alex just pushes closer, kissing him harder and deeper, like he's chasing the metallic taste of the blood into Michael's mouth.

Michael eases away from the kiss after a few long moments, and Alex makes a sound like Michael is killing him.

Michael drops his forehead to Alex's, and just breathes.

"Don't go," Alex says in a hoarse whisper that Michael hears like a gunshot going off in his ears.

"We still have a week," he says, and Alex pulls away from him, blinking like he's confused.

"We still have a week, and you won't let me help you fix it?" 

"If I renege on my word, he said he'll come after you," Michael admits in a low voice.

"I don't care," Alex says immediately. "If I can find a way to get you out of this, I will do it."

"No," Michael says, shaking his head. "Not at the expense of your life."

"I don't care," Alex says again. "He can have my life if he wants it. If you're not going to be here, I'd rather be dead."

"Don't say things like that," Michael bites out, pushing in close again and looking Alex directly in the eyes.

"I can't live without you," Alex says, eyes shining bright but resolute. "I'm going to try and fix this, and if I die trying then at least I won't have to go on without you."

"Stop talking like that," Michael demands. "Stop talking as though your death wouldn't be the end of me too."

"Then stay with me, and we won't have any problems."

Michael closes his eyes, "Alex."

"It's one thing if you don't want me, Guerin. If you don't love me. If you leave because you're not happy. If you think our relationship was another mistake and we should've never tried again.

"But don't for one moment believe that I will let you go willingly if it's not what you really want."

And Michael, Michael can't. He can't.

He knew from the moment he made the deal that the hardest person to say goodbye to was going to be Alex. Because he knew that Alex wasn't going to let him go without a fight.

Michael sways forward, and Alex catches him easily, pressing their foreheads together as he breathes in shuddering breaths.

"Okay," he says in a low, low voice. "Help me fix this."

Alex wraps his arms around Michael's waist and holds him tight, "Always."

[gra-sonas]

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: Was the year time jump because of the pandemic? To sidestep making that too central to the plot, or was that always the plan?

JEANINE MASON: That was always our intention and it was just sort of a saving grace in that way. We also don't acknowledge the pandemic in real-time on our show. There are no masks and that was just so wonderful just to get work in that way and have that time where it was a little more normal. Also, that's just our show — we want you to come to us the way you always do, which is for nineties nostalgia, sexy Cowboys, brilliant scientists, you know? CHRIS HOLLIER: So we wanted to drop our characters in a year later, let them stew in their individual decisions that were made last season. We want everyone to root for our poster couple but we want to honor what happens in real life, which is sometimes you step away from that person, even if you are entwined with them in a very particular way. So we wanted it to be a real enough time and distance so that they could live a little life on their own.

With showrunner Carina Adly MacKenzie departing at the end of season 2, has much changed? Or are you still working with ideas she had in place?'

HOLLIER: It's a little bit of both. There are things that Carina and I built that live all the way through and then once the story got up on its feet, discoveries were made with our new crop of people that we were like, "Oh, we're going to bend it this other way."

Jeanine, how is Liz doing in her new life in L.A. when we pick up this season?

MASON: Well, it's been a year and at this point, her life is actually pretty great. She just hasn't taken a second to acknowledge that. She's doing what she does best, which is just full head in her work and trying to figure out what she could use of her discoveries and her brilliance to save Maria. She has a great job, a really nice place, and an awesome partner at work who is a good time and a real match for her in terms of intellect and ambition. He begins to ask her to recognize that and to maybe give something a chance that she's been reluctant to because of how drawn she is to Roswell and to Max. It's a fun first episode. It's sexy. It's fun to find opportunities for her. She's our hero so she's got a lot on her shoulders and anytime where we can find levity for her is always a real treat for the writers and for me.

And no Crashdown waitress uniform must be nice?

MASON: Honestly, I miss it quite a lot right now. I have a note in my notes with Chris, I'm like, "I gotta tell him we gotta find him more opportunities for it."

Should Liz and Max shippers be worried about them finding their way back to one another after he destroyed her work and didn't follow her to L.A.? Should we resign ourselves to a season apart?

MASON: This season really is about these characters having themselves mirrored to each other. Max and Liz need some growing and ultimately they can't do anything but be orbiting each other. We found so many opportunities to have such a beautiful language around the cosmic element of their connection. They're asking, "Is this our decision, or are we just acting off of a decision that the cosmos made for us?" It was so fun to navigate that. I always have such a good time with Chris Hollier and with Nathan Dean, just finding the little tiny notches, a tiny bit of movement towards where they're going next. I really loved following them. It's my favorite Max and Liz season to date.

HOLLIER: It's not a season apart. I'll tease that they, in an unexpected way, end up in front of each other relatively soon. But it's really about when am I ready? And what does it mean to talk to my ex? When someone makes such a big influence in your life, when do you know it's over and when do you know you should fight again? We tried to give them real grown-up lives.

Steven Krueger (The Originals) also joined the cast as Heath this season. What can you tease about his character?

HOLLIER: He's just an awesome human being. I know him from The Originals and we were like, "If we're going to have to be stuck with people in the desert, who do we want?" You want to be stuck with a handsome and lovely and charming Steven Krueger. So really this was looking at, "Well, what did Liz want and what does it look like when you start to give Liz versions of what she wants?" Heath is somebody that is beyond being just a lovely person, he is smart and wants to advance science and that's appealing to Liz. It becomes, "What does it look like when the man that I hang around with all day is also into the same things that I am?" MASON: I love him. Heath is just such a fun, whip-smart, fantastic character. His humor was so fun. We've been having a good time with kicking the humor up really through season two and in season three, we just took it up another notch. There are some moments that are like, "Is this a drama or is it a sitcom?" Looking back on it, he was such a fun partner to spar with. They're both such intellectual characters and I love that there's a real meeting of the minds. It makes it competitive and sexy. I know a lot of fans are so excited because they know him from The Originals and he's going to be a great addition.

Technically, Mr. Jones is a new character too. Can you tell us anything at all about him?

HOLLIER: I'd say he's a new character — and a fully-fleshed interesting new character. Mr. Jones has an awesome beard. At some point, he might lose that beard. A lot of people are asking me, "Is Jones good or bad?" And what I would argue is that's a perspective based upon who you are in the conversation that you're having with him. He knows a lot about our heroes' story and he knows a lot about home. He'll be able to answer questions for them. This season our heroes will get to learn why they ended up here on earth. One of the things I think that people will love is that they're going to get to see that home planet this year. We asked ourselves a lot about this whole season, "What have we set up for the past two?" We look at these first three seasons almost like a trilogy so a lot of things are going to be paid off.

Has Nathan enjoyed pulling double duty this season? Or is he just exhausted?

MASON: He's exhausted, but he's such a champ. That really is the beginning of this mirroring thing that starts with Max and Jones with him actually getting to look at himself to a degree and those questions that come up. The self-analysis that it provokes in him is really the beginning of what is happening to all of our characters this year; everybody's being confronted with themselves. I loved that the Max/Jones of it was also a real sci-fi element.

Did he really grow that beard or was that not possible if he had to go between the two characters?

MASON: That was a prosthetic beard and our makeup team killed it. He was not accustomed to early mornings, which, of course, all of us babes are. It was a lot of extra time in the chair for him.

Can Jones dupe Liz into thinking he's actually Max since she doesn't know he exists?

MASON: You're totally on to something. It's a real and pressing threat. I mean, she's totally in the dark and he looks like her cosmic lover!

HOLLIER: What I will say is that, Liz — beyond her being number one on the call sheet — is integral to this story in a way that she and none of our characters are going to perceive when they start episode one. We're bringing [the characters] to a new crossroads moment in their lives and they're getting, through Jones, a mirror into their own lives to decide what they're going to become next.

How's Rosa (Amber Midthunder) doing this season?

MASON: By the end of season two, Rosa really makes the decision to start taking care of herself. She really becomes an incredible asset to the Scooby-Doo gang. It's something that Liz is in constant adjustment to. As much as she's the younger sister, she feels very protective of her sister and Liz has had to make adjustments in her trust and faith in Rosa. I loved it because it just felt like a real personal, authentic thing that sisters would go through, but also that Hispanic sisters would go through. I think we sometimes, culturally, have a tendency to baby our women — maybe that's the wrong word — but just to underestimate their physical ability and what they might take on, and sort of 'queen' our women in a way where we treat them tenderly. I hate that. I'm a tough bitch and so is Rosa. So Liz has to confront that and go, "I'm an idiot to underestimate you. You've done nothing but prove me wrong."

What about Maria and her visions?

HOLLIER: This year I think Maria has the most complete arc of any season, as she recognizes things about herself that cause more questions about who she is, who her family is, how she's linked to this story. We dive into it in the present-day and we dive deliciously back in time too.

In the exclusive clip above we see her have a vision of a funeral, can you tease anything about who potentially might be about to die?

HOLLIER: Maria is front and center in driving the first half of the mystery for us. She's burdened with trying to figure out whose death she is seeing. It takes a few episodes to unravel and we use it to ask, is this linked to our supernatural stories or real-world stories that are going on politically? Is it bad luck? Is it herself? There's a whole gambit at play. We joke that we solved a past murder, now we're going to try to stop one.

Can Malex (Michael and Alex) shippers have hope that this might finally be their time?

HOLLIER: What I would say is that I think that Malex fans are really going to dig this journey. We, as writers, put them at the same level of importance as Max and Liz. So we wanted to really honor the next step in what they may or may not be. How did they grow up and how did they have those hard conversations just like Liz and Max are going to have?

Is Isobel going to continue to date women this season?

HOLLIER: Isobel is going to go on a more personal journey. You got to love yourself before you can love someone else. We lean into those possibilities by the end of who she might love. It's not something that is dropped all season — it is something that you'll see. We play some romantic comedy stuff with her character this year and with Maria that I think fans are gonna dig. There's a lot going on in the world and wanted to pump some humor and hope into it.

Will see more of Liz fighting to challenge the perception of the Latinx community?

MASON: I think that just by nature of it being one of such few shows that are led by a Latin woman, it's always going to be, to an extent, a protest or an assertion of the space that I get to fill and that Liz Ortecho gets to fill on network TV. I was really excited to just have Chris as a collaborator. Over our hiatus, before the season started, I was doing a lot of reading. I chronicled the books that play into Liz every season on my Instagram. I was reading some Sonia Sotomayor. Her book is just incredible. I was texting him screenshots of pages of the book with things underlined. Ten episodes deep into season 3, he's like, "Remember that page you sent me?" He's a real dream collaborator. I loved him for that. A pressing struggle for people of color is going through the ranks in these big corporations and then sometimes coming to find out that those corporations are purporting to support marginalized groups but actually aren't following through. So how do you, as someone who's having your success, your dreams become reality, navigate supporting the company and giving so much of your intelligence and your work — that they often legally own, especially with science — to a company that isn't going to be for your people?

Roswell, New Mexico returns Monday at 8 p.m. on The CW.

[echo-bleu]

RNM 4x01 felt... fake.

I’m just thinking about the fact that two years ago I would have been overjoyed at the Malex of it or the .002 second clip of Alex’s prosthetic (guess he didn’t regrow his leg in s3 after all).

I got a tiny bit back into Malex long enough to finish our hands and I reread most of my fics recently, so I’ll see if I keep watching or not. I hope it ends well for those who still enjoy it.

(fun fact: I had to type this twice because my laptop decided to reboot on its own as I was pushing ‘post’. Then rebooted with no pointer. Is Max trying to tell me something?)

[malexfan10]

Spot on as always!

"But it seems almost easier for Michael to shrink in on himself and think the worst than fight back.

All the self-loathing leads us to our first Malex moment of the season, which ends up being…intense.

Again, considering it’s only been 72 hours since Alex got back into town, there’s still a ton these guys need to talk about before they’re back on any kind of romantic wavelength. But their interaction here was vintage Malex.

Michael was succumbing to negativity, and Alex wasn’t having any of it. This idea that Michael is his father is ridiculous, same as the idea that Alex is anything like Jess Manes.

Alex’s delivery is a little harsh, but that’s Alex. He knows Michael better than anyone, and when he gives in to his anger, coddling him will not do anyone any good. There are no kid gloves when it comes to these two, and that’s a good thing because they often need to hear what the other is saying even if they don’t want to admit it.

While their interaction was brief, it was easily one of the most emotional moments of the episode.

When these two can finally have an open, honest conversation about what they’re going through and what they’re feeling and find that common ground that’s always eluded them, they’ll be an unstoppable force. And hopefully, this conversation was a step closer to that day because, just like Echo, the love will always be there.

The Malex chemistry is palpable as always, and if hearing Alex say he would burn the whole world if something happened to Michael doesn’t get your Malex heart a fluttering after all this time, I don’t know what will." ❤

BONUS "Okay, but the face Michael Vlamis makes when Alex looks away to start his car is just sad perfection. All the pain, longing, and hope displayed in that tiny chin quiver." MY HEART ❤

"Can whoever is styling Alex Manes this season also style me?" YES 😍

*

I'm loving all the characters this season, all the storylines. Alien story? Amazing. Echo? So emotional. Kyle? MVP. Maria? Enjoying her storyline finally. Gregory Manes? More please.

And MALEX? Just kill me with the feels! 😍

[mayatawi]

(whoops this got loooong I have OPINIONS. If you wanna skip the leadup, my main point is in the paragraph after the tiny text.)

So I honestly thought the biggest make-or-break issue for whether or not I’d watch rnm s3 would be whether Michael and Alex get together or at least seem to be working toward that, and also the character dynamics in general. I am a character-focused consumer of media. Plot is generally secondary for me; mostly I care about the people.

But as it turns out, the plotting and overall narrative structure of s3 are offending me on, like, a deep spiritual level.

Other people have done a better job than I could pointing out the pacing issues, but in general it comes off like someone writing a WIP without any kind of plan and getting brand new plot ideas every chapter and running with them without bothering to revise anything that came before. I don’t know enough BTS stuff to say whether that’s likely due to time pressures or to Hollier being new to show running (has he done it before?) or to something else entirely, but SO MUCH about this season makes NO SENSE.

What the hell was the sequence of events during Kyle’s kidnapping, and why do none of the accounts given line up? Was anything actually changing in the vision? Was it even about Kyle, and if so, was that the case all along? Why is the audience just left to wonder whether that’s been resolved, or even whether the characters think it’s been resolved?

How the fuck did Liz drive from California to Roswell and then back and then back again in what, three days? And still have time to do literally anything else?

And on a thematic level! Why set up a “Kyle is underappreciated” thread at the beginning and then show nobody worrying about him being missing? What was even the point of the Wyatt storyline, and is that just done now, or is it coming back at some point in the 4 episodes remaining? Why bother bringing Greg back if they were going to retcon his previous characterization and only let him talk to Alex once so far? Why set up a throughline of “characters being called out for their flaws/mistakes” and then exclude Maria from that while inexplicably centering her in the whole season so far?

(And side note, speaking of Maria and flaws, I was trying to think last night—does she even have flaws that the show is willing to acknowledge? Like Liz has her science ethics issues, Max can be heavy-handed and self-righteous, Isobel has her alpha bitch tendencies, Michael is an emotional fucking disaster, Alex is closed off and controlling, Rosa has her addiction issues (and, you know, that whole impulsive teenager thing), Kyle… is a goddamn delight but i think still struggles with his high school self, and also is too easily led by Liz at times. What’s Maria’s flaw? The closest I can think of is being too singleminded about the vision thing early in the season, to the point of risking her own health and Max’s life, but was she ever even shown to be wrong about that? I can’t tell how the show expects us to feel about it! And then that was dropped along with the rest of that storyline, and now she’s the one telling Isobel that she’s too singleminded, which could have been some nice character development if that particular flaw of hers was addressed instead of just completely ignored. Like, I am checking myself, I don’t particularly like her character and I am examining whether it’s a race thing or a “but muh ship!” thing or what, and the thing I keep coming back to is that she is never allowed to be wrong according to the narrative, even when her actions as shown might raise some eyebrows. And flawless characters are boring, but flawed characters who are uncritically presented as flawless are infuriating. And making such a character so prominent in the season’s overall storyline is… A Choice. (Am I forgetting something? Can someone tell me what her narratively acknowledged flaw is supposed to be? And I mean an actual flaw, not a job interview “cares too much”/“works too hard” kind of flaw.))

And that’s not even my main point, just a tangent. My biggest issue with s3 is a corollary to the “characters are written characters, not real people” post I’ve seen going around—the narrative is a written narrative, not real events that happen and a camera just happens to be around to capture some of them. But they’re doing this thing where important events and character moments keep happening offscreen and the audience is just supposed to assume they happened. Why wasn’t Kyle or Max waking up shown onscreen? Why didn’t Rosa even mention her brother when he was missing? Why haven’t Michael and Alex even mentioned Forrest, if only to clear up that Alex isn’t still dating him? What did Michael even do between finding the Deep Sky building at the end of 3x06 and whatever he did the next episode? Did Alex ever tell the others where Kyle was, and that’s why nobody seemed worried? And I’m sure there are other things I’m not thinking of because, again, I’m not actually watching s3, just spoiling the shit out of myself. But from everything I’ve read, this season just has zero sense of narrative and thematic structure. Even malex FINALLY getting together falls somewhat flat in the overall context of the season, because it just… happens. I mean I’m glad it happens, and maybe it’s realistic for these two characters to just say “fuck it, we’ve wasted too much time, let’s do it,” but then we’re back with the issue that these aren’t real people or real events, they’re written characters in a written narrative. And from a storytelling perspective, you don’t spend two and a half seasons setting up an emotional arc just to resolve it with “fuck it.”

And… okay, let’s be real, all of the above is probably still not going to keep me from watching (though I will wait for the season finale at least). But it offends me. They have this amazingly diverse and (mostly) well-developed cast of characters, they have a surprisingly compelling overall storyline, they do such a good job establishing a distinct sense of place, but the one thread that’s supposed to tie everything together—the narrative structure—is a goddamn mess.

I love this crack show. But it could be SO MUCH BETTER.

(edit: in retrospect the tiny text should probably be its own post [hence the tiny text] but fuck it, I’m running with it. Not entirely unlike the s3 writers hey-o!)

[ravens-words]

I’m gonna focus on positivity that’s in me…they ended this season together, they know they love each other even if they won’t say it, they went on a date, we got way more kisses than I was hoping and we got Alex taking off his bandana…

I’m stuck with these cosmic idiots for life…

Please don't mistaken my tiny moments of grouchiness for hate or dislike. I like what we got, I just think with a little better time management, we could have gotten way better. Not just for Malex, but for all the characters.

I loved that we got kisses, and serious conversations and a metaphorical fuck you to Jesse Manes, but there are many things we could have gotten but didn't too, so feeling s are all over the place lol

And everyone ending on a happy note (except poor Kyle, but that can be fixed)is A HUGE deal and I am SO happy about that.

[eg515]

HEY BESTIE💖 Guess what i'm here for?? Yes, exactly!

Malex: 1 - 2 - 3 - 9 - 22

Now, to bring more fandoms into this:

Willex: 1, 14, 26

+ Bonus one for me to find out more about these dudes: Buddie ? (These are the gay not gay firefighters right?): 7

otp ask game

hiii bestie 💖 I was expecting you 😌 I can almost hear the collective sigh from my followers upon seeing that we are back on our bullshit again 😌

malex - Roswell New Mexico

1. Who rocks the Ferris Wheel seat and who flips out and begs them to stop? I'd say they are both either too busy making out, or too busy giving some big romantic speech about the stars and shit to do this. I mean. Michael quitly quotes "boys becoming men under the desert sky". and they either talk about the becoming men part or the desert sky part. either way, it's fun.

2. Who is always horny and will have sex at any time, at any place and at any time? both.

3. Who is more into taking showers/baths together? Who tries to make it relaxing and who tries to make it sexy time? Alex is more into it and tries to relax. Michael would try to take advantage of the lack of clothes.

9. Who wakes the other up in the middle of the night to tell them a cool dream they had? Who has the most nightmares, and who sings them back to sleep after? Michael would definitely wake Alex just to tell him about a dream and Alex would love him for it. they both have their unfair share of nightmares, but it's Michael who sings Alex to sleep. (this last one is a headcanon now. you can pry it from my cold dead hands.)

22. Who is super bad at sexting? and who sends them encouraging messages throughout the day? why am I not surprised you chose all the horny questions?? 😂 Alex is worse at it, but when he does it right, Michael is unusable all day 😌 and Isobel would endlessly tease him for it. now get your head out of the gutter, girl.

willex - Julie and the Phantoms

1. Who rocks the Ferris Wheel seat and who flips out and begs them to stop? Willie rocks the seat, Alex freaks out

14. Who starts the hand holding? Who grabs the others butt? Who slides their arm around their waist? Who likes to put their fingers in the belt loops? handholding: Willie starts the first time, then Alex all the other times. butt grabbing: idk, I'm gonna pass this one. I know the actors are old enough, but the characters are not. arm around waist: Willie. and Alex takes advantage of the chance to snuggle. finger in the belt loop: I'm gonna go with Willie on this one too. I just think he'd be more open with showing off his bf in public. I think Alex would still carry some of the mentality from '95 and would be more introverted.

26. Who kissed first? like, who initiated it? Alex. Willie would make it obvious he's in, but he would also let Alex take that first step, when he's ready.

buddie - 911 (yes, they are the not gay firefighters 😌)

7. Who said “I love you” first? and who ends their arguments in a fight with “Because I love you”? oooh daamn. you chose a hard one. I think Buck would say I love you first, simply because he's a tiny bit more open with his emotions, but it would probably be Eddie to end a fight with "because I love you". maybe I just read too many fanfics, but considering Buck's abandonement issues, I think (hope) that even when fighting, Eddie would make sure Buck knows that he's here to stay.

I think I mostly kept it short?? or at least shorter than usually. for some of these I could write pages now that I started to think about them.

thank you, bestie 💖 it was an honour to answer your ask, as always 💕

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here friend and I don't know if you're ready dive back into RNM yet or want to wait till 911 is over but the first trailer for S4 has come out and I figured I'd give you a quick guide before you decide to open that particular salt mine. Pros: oh hey, they let us know the major plot of the season; Arturo!!! Cons: Echo heavy, no Malex; in fact no Alex, Kyle, or Rosa; yet somehow still could spare a few seconds for the guest cast; Nathan did not deserve to have THAT done to his hair.

SaL anon here friend and we finally have some RNM promo pics. Stupidly Optimistic Me Who Never Learns: "At last!! S4 is giving us the Kylex brotp content we've been begging for since S1!!" Painfully Realistic Me: "Great, M*ria's dying again and we're going to be forced to watch everyone be concerned because her uselessness means they have no other plotline for her." Also why are they forcing poor Kyle to support her again??!! Hasn't that man suffered enough?

Hi bestie! I combined these asks so I could knock them both out and I spent my time recovering from my Covid booster shot (my arm STILL hurts, WTF is that about? It’s been 3 days??) by catching up a tiny bit on RNM stuff since I have looked at nothing since shortly after season 3 ended. I won’t be able to watch live though I’m planning on watching next day but that might be for the best.

So the trailer! Pros: yaaaaaas Arturo my beloved! Also saw Cameron which was a nice surprise! I’m mildly intrigued by the other aliens so that could be neat?

Cons: While I did love Echo at the start of the show and they have had some sweet moments throught, the fact that the show is constantly waffling on who Max is has been frustrating. Having him go from soft, stary-eyed writer who thinks Liz hung the moon, to going behind her back, and lashing out at everyone in anger because he’s a leading man, and a cop, and has to be Strong and Violent and Can’t Know How To Express Emotions Besides Anger (even though he’s a fiction writer and eloquently expressing emotions is like, the whole of what he does) is tiresome. Max is always at his best when he is being supportive and kind and soft and we unfortunately don’t get to see a lot of that so it makes me less excited to see what is going on with Echo. Also it’s 2022, the whole “will they, won’t they, let’s see soulmate happily date other people, then invent drama to keep them apart” thing is TIRED. Just let soulmates have each other’s backs and take on the things trying to tear them apart together. That’s LITERALLY the whole point of soulmates! They are on the same page, they work better together because they bring out the best in each other. Let them do that! (This also applies to Malex, of course.)

The fact that we didn’t see Alex, Kyle, or Rosa is a crime actually, especially considering they are the glue that holds everything together. I also saw some stuff from Tyler about fans not being too happy at the start sooooo we have that to look forward to! 🙃🙃🙃 And considering the amount of m*ria in the promo and the non-existence of Alex, Kyle, and Rosa, I’m sure this season is going to be a repeat of season 3 on that front. Yay 🙄

Nathan absolutely did NOT deserve to have that done to his hair. It’s not the worst, but his hair was sooo good last season! This is a definite downgrade.

The stills! Kylex brotp my absolute beloved!! I’m so excited to see them in the same room and it looks like Eduardo is there too? So MAYBE we get to focus some on what Alex is doing? Not holding my breath though. Also a lot of Dallas and Michael just chilling together which I love! 

That Team Liz shirt is very cute and I want the whole gang to have one and wear all the time to support her, it’s what she deserves. I’m also loving whenever they let her lean into the “geeky scientist” wear that you know people who are too busy being tied up in their brain and work put on instead of trying to make me believe Practical Liz would wear fancy heeled boots on an investigation she knows is to a cabin in the woods. Women can be fancy and well-dressed people but also wear practical clothes when it makes sense, I promise it’s okay.

I kinda saw the stills of m*ria and Kyle as her scans looking better or at least like she’s not getting worse? So I don’t think she’s dying again, but I wouldn’t be shocked if she was because of course she would be. Hopefully Kyle gets more to do this season that carry everyone’s burdens on his back while they all forget all about him when he gets kidnapped because they’re too busy fawning over m*ria. Fingers crossed we get some good content for him.

Anyway, sorry not sorry to anyone who followed me for 911 content for the salt gremlin I’m about to become over this show. This show always deserved better than the CW, though it’s a shame the CW is Like That because it’s network TV meaning it’s free and it’s one of the few channels that’s NOT cable or streaming that you have to pay for that really leans into genre shows. Soooo much of network TV is centered on cop shows that basically spend every episode brutally murdering people (very often women) and then investigating it with the occasional “live victim” thrown in for funsies. This is why 911 feels so different (and why going back to trying to watch other shows is HARD) because it’s SO hopeful and most of the time the people live! What a novel concept! Then you have the CW which plays a lot with mystical/sci-fi stuff, often centered on romance which is a nice change of pace! But it’s run by people who, it feels like, HATE or at the very least have a great contempt for and look down on teens, genre shows, and romance. And RNM was supposed to be adults! It was supposed to lean into the sci-fi stuff and the alien soulmate thing from an adult perspective. But since it was the CW they leaned into the teen soapy drama, which, spoiler alert, is not ever what people wanted out of their “teen” genre shows to begin with! I think things got confused since there wasn’t easy, free access to genre shows when CW first started cranking them out, and they decided to apply their idea of what “Teen Girl Logic” was (all the different hot people making out with each other is all anyone wants!) to shows about soulmates and science fiction, and superheroes etc. without taking into account that isn’t actually true, AND more than just “teen girls” like genre shows, but a lot of the “adult” ones are dark and brutal and hopeless. So watching media geared towards “younger” audiences can often be an easer, more wholesome watching experience. (Like Julie and the Phantoms! I watched it multiple times, and even my grandma who is in her 80s watched it more than once. It’s bright and happy and wholesome AND has ghosts! And music!). *me frantically trying to find the thread here* Point is, this show COULD have been the sci-fi show focused on adults (and soulmates) healing after a decade of being apart and a lifetime of hiding things, while still having fun shenanigans, and bright colors that a lot of people want, but instead we got....this. 

Whooo boy this got away from me and my head is fuzzy again so I’m going to just going to leave this word vomit here, sorry. Anyway, see you all on Tuesday when I get around to watching the premier! Lets all hope for some good things and brace for whatever it is we will be getting instead.

[facelessfrey]

I’m thinking about Roswell and Motherland Fort Salem again....haha

I just feel like Motherland works in so many ways that I wish Roswell did, that it has/had the potential to but wasted it. 

Like obviously I’ve been talking about how I feel like Motherland handled Raelle missing for half the season compared to Roswell and Alex. And now that we have Raelle back and her and Scylla are engaged, I know what I want to happen from this eventual Malex reunion. But just...all along, it was so much better with everyone knowing that Raelle was missing. I mean, granted Raelle is the lead of the show really and Alex is clearly not that according to Roswell writers, but you know, he’s not. But still, having everyone know Raelle was missing and even though they had a lot else going on, there was always some sense of urgency to get Rae back, especially from Scylla. We’re getting it a bit from Michael now but imagine if we’d had that all season long. Imagine if he had gone undercover with Bonnie and Clyde to try and find clues to where Alex was. I just feel like it would have made a lot more sense and felt less like stalling. If they actually built Alex’s disappearance into the mystery of what Bonnie, Clyde and Tesca were up to, that would have maintained his presence in the narrative and kept some sense of urgency, even if it took a while to unravel all the clues. I don’t know, they better have one hell of a reunion when we get to it. 

But aside from that aspect, I just feel like Motherland excels in other ways too. A big frustration of mine with Roswell has always been the lack of threat against them, the lack of real stakes, the pacing. While I liked Jones, I think the biggest threat they ever had was Noah just because they knew so much less and the violation of body/mind control felt the scariest. But they had Jesse Manes and did next to nothing with him. Sure he supposedly had a bomb to kill aliens at the end of season two but there was so little real story leading up to that. No one was worried about such a thing until the last two episodes. It was such a weak story in a mess of a season. But he could have been such a great villain rather than just a despicable man. Project Shepherd could have been a real ongoing threat instead of just Jesse in his bunker or his severely understaffed prison with just Flint for a lackey. There’s never been a real threat to the aliens being found out by the government etc. And then you have the supposed Dark Triad where two out of the three are...not a threat and the third is just...dull? 

With Motherland, the Spree in the first season were genuinely frightening with their suicide balloons and infiltration and face changing. And while we knew they were fighting against conscription of Witches there were so many more layers to unpack there and then they were getting confused with the Camarilla, who are genuinely terrifying witch hunters. 

The Camarilla who are a very real threat and have infiltrated the government, putting the lives of our main characters and all witches in danger. And Hearst with his vocal chord stealing and using against them and Silver becoming President, the stakes are super high, especially going into the final two episodes with our main unit turning themselves in. 

I just...I feel no such stakes from Roswell and never really have aside from maybe a few points with Noah and a tiny bit with Jones. But Project Shepherd or fucking Deep Sky could have been real genuine government threats the way the Special Unit was in the original show and they just...weren’t. And it’s a shame. I’ve never once felt like our aliens were in real danger of being exposed aside from maybe in the teen flashback when Rosa died. And that feels like it should be integral to the story, especially since they do bring it up a lot for it never actually being a real problem in the narrative. 

And then there’s the relationships. Raelle and Scylla are the main ship of course in Motherland so they get all the good angst and focus, but they, like Malex, have been apart a lot but they’ve never tried to bring in third parties for extra unnecessary drama. And they’ve always let them have these great reunions that feel so earned even if they’ve spent entire seasons technically apart. And then Abigail and Adil are technically a more secondary ship but they’ve had plenty of focus as well and so much growth both individually and as a couple, even including Khalida feeling like family to Abigail at this point. It’s all really well done. And aside from the romantic relationships, the unit are so close and their friendship and sense of found family is so strong in a way that Roswell just fails on so much, and characters like Adil and Scylla and Anacostia and even Alder etc just slot into that so well. 

Maybe it’s because there’s more of a sense of character hierarchy that makes it work because all of the Roswell characters are kind of fighting each other for screen time instead of naturally slotting into their rightful places. But even when all of the Roswell characters, particularly this season and last are working together, they still all feel so separate and their are so many individual friendships that are lacking. 

Liz and Maria should be best friends, they should constantly be checking in with each other and they have maybe like one or two crumbs of scenes together a season. Liz and Alex are supposed to be friends and they’ve had like five scenes together in four seasons. Maria and Alex are supposed to be best friends, which they did okay with in the first part of season one and then made it weird and then never really repaired that friendship in any meaningful way on screen. It took till literally this season for people to actually acknowledge that Michael and Alex are a serious thing. Max and Alex literally didn’t have a scene together until last season. Kyle and Alex’s friendship was done so well in season one and then has just disappeared entirely since. Maria rarely interacts with Max. Maria rarely interacts with Kyle. They made such a big thing of Rosa being Kyle’s secret sister and then they’ve had like maybe four scenes together. Rosa and Michael are great but they rarely get to interact. I don’t think Rosa and Alex have ever had a scene together. Even like Maria and Isobel and Rosa had such a great thing going last season but basically nothing this season. There’s just such a lack of consistency, it’s infuriating. It makes any kind of relationship arc really hard to track or invest in. 

Whereas on Motherland, there are such distinct journeys for all of the relationships. The romantic ones obviously, but also Raelle and Abigail, the Bellweather unit as a whole, Tally with Alder, Abigail with Alder, Petra with Alder, Abigail and Scylla, Tally and Scylla, Khalida and Abigail, Anacostia and Scylla, Anacostia and Alder, Anacostia and the unit etc etc. And it feels like all of that is coming together in the final season. Anacostia is using Scylla’s work, Tally and Abigail are trusting Alder, Abigail and Tally are letting Scylla in and boding with her etc. 

The characters on Roswell are so good and the relationship are there to work with and yet....I’m constantly shocked when Liz actually talks to people other than Max...

Sigh...I feel like there’s about four people who might actually crossover with both shows and understand all of this but I just...have feelings. And I don’t want either show to be ending but I’m grateful to Motherland for being as good as it has been with what it’s had to work with. 

(also...the mythology and world building on Motherland...so much better and less messy than Roswell. At least they bothered to create a witch language rather than name people Jones and Bonnie and Clyde and call an alien planet the Oasis)

(also, Motherland only has ten episodes to work with instead of 13 and they usually do better to tell a much tighter story that doesn’t feel like they just drop things half way or rush other things)

Okay...I’m done with my rant now. 

[haloud]

things we could burn in one go (eminence) - chapter 9

also on ao3

Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Isabel Evans & Max Evans & Michael Guerin, Michael Guerin/Alex Manes, Forrest Long/Alex Manes Additional Tags: post-s2, Canon Compliant, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Hurt/Comfort, Starts Forlex Ends Malex, Other Characters May Appear, Tags Subject to Update, Mutual Pining, Breaking Up, Getting Together

Chapter Summary: Michael and Isobel reckon with the fallout from Michael’s choices; Maria and Max catch up with him post-recovery.

Excerpt:

Maria sat on the steps, an old CD radio of Rosa’s beside her playing a classic Rosa mixtape, a Third Eye Blind track Michael only half-remembered flowing around her, her humming running under it, glittering minerals in a riverbed. She was surrounded by papers, pinned under painted rocks to keep them from being snatched away, her hair tied back by a rainbow scarf, and she bent over to write in a binder propped on her knees.

Michael rapped on the pillar behind him to get her attention, and when she looked up she smiled and set the binder aside.

“Guerin! You’re up! What brings you here with the sun in the sky?”

“Where else am I gonna go to get my sea legs back?”

“Well, come pull your ass into port and sit with me.”

She patted the low stair beside her and Michael did as he was told, swiping his hat off his head as he approached her. For her it was wordplay, but Michael cradled to his chest something more true than maybe she’d intended—Maria was a safe harbor, a port in a storm. No matter how bad things got, her warm heart and practical mind were a reminder to never give up. Just sitting beside her was enough to make him smile, even though he sat with a good six inches buffer between them, still unsure what boundaries were appropriate, still navigating the uncertain waters of being friends with an ex who meant something.

��(Wednesday, 11:00 am)

  Michael flipped Alex’s key over and over in his fingers, running it along his knuckles, pressing his thumb into the teeth until they left a locking-imprint on his skin, then doing it all over again. At some point, maybe it would start to feel real, if he reminded himself of the thing often enough.

The repetition and stimulation of the rough teeth, the cool, smooth metal, soothed him as he waited on Isobel’s porch. She’d called him here in the first place, so eventually she’d open the door. Until then, he waited. And as he waited, he thought of Alex, because what else was there to think about these days?

(A thousand things, like Jones and Project Shepherd, Max and Liz, and all the work piling up at Sanders’s, but Alex had a way of blotting everything else out, and, no matter how much his brain tried to get him to feel stupid or naïve or childish for hoping yet again, he was going to let himself bask in that shade for once in his life.)

He hadn’t left Alex’s house, still, except to go to work and get things from his own place. At Alex’s, he was still sleeping in the guest room, the both of them afraid that they’d fall back into their old patterns too fast if they fell right into bed. But during the day they shared that space, a kitchen, a den, existing alongside each other as they read or cooked or composed, and the routine wasn’t so different from the tense and quiet days right after Michael’s injury, but at the same time they were nothing alike, not when each tiny glance could mean so much, not when fingers on the soft rasp of turning pages were fingers he could touch, that could touch him.

Everything was different. It was terrifying, and exhilarating, brand new and nostalgic. It had only been a day; it had only been half their lifetimes.

“Ew, you’re glowing.”

Isobel’s voice started Michael out of his thoughts, and he jumped, shoving Alex’s key into his pocket. She was glaring at him, but still he relaxed, because Isobel’s snark was a form of love and her turning scorn in his direction was a sign things were getting back to normal between them.

“It’s all natural,” he drawled as she stepped aside to let him inside.

“Right. Did something happen, or is this just some lesser known side effect of being brought back from the brink of death.”

“Uh…”

In a way, sort of, if only because Michael’s own stupidity had driven him and Alex closer together, but that wasn’t exactly a direct correlation or anything admirable.

“Nope,” he said, popping the ‘p.’ “Just…”

He fell silent. How was he supposed to talk about being in love? He’d never done it before, and this was a first he hadn’t anticipated facing.

“Alex and I…” he tried again, but found himself only able to smile, still without words, and he raised his arms in a helpless shrug.

Isobel’s eyebrows raised. “Oh my god.”

“Yep.”

“I’m still pissed at you, but if Manes is making you his side chick after everything, I’m going to rip his spine out through his—”

“Isobel, no! It’s not like that,” Michael laughed, shaking his head.

“Well what’s it like, then? I cannot handle him breaking your heart again when we’re already dealing with Max.”

He replied, “My heart is fully intact,” as he headed in and dropped down on her couch, throwing a hand over his heart for dramatic effect. “No, uh, Alex and Forrest had a fight, which sucked, but it led to us getting a chance to talk more about, y’know, us, and what we wanted, and each other, so…”

“So this is rebound,” Isobel snipped.

“Can you stop?” Michael said, half-laughing. Even her pessimism on the subject of love couldn’t pop the bubble around his heart right now. He patted the couch beside him, and she hesitated for a few seconds with her arms crossed, before capitulating and joining him.

“Oh, fine,” she groused, leaning against the arm of the couch farthest away from where he was sitting. “Your funeral.”

The words landed like a lead balloon, and Michael winced as her face grew stormier.

“I’m—”

“Don’t,” Isobel held up a hand in his face. “Don’t you dare say you’re sorry. I don’t want to hear it.”

“Well, what do you want to hear?”

“An explanation, Michael! What the hell were you thinking? Why would you do that? What if he’d just straight up killed you, did you want us to find your body in a cave somewhere or, or never, blown to smithereens by a man who literally breathes fire! You’re so stupid, and selfish, and—” She cut herself off, furious tears welling in her eyes even as the rest of her face didn’t change.

“I know! I know, you’re right, it was stupid. I wasn’t thinking, or, well, I was thinking, but my head was all messed up.” He rested his forehead in his hands and running his fingers through his hair. “I don’t think any explanation is going to make any sense now, out of the moment, but I just…everything was going to shit, and I couldn’t do anything for Max, and I thought Jones might have answers, or could help me unlock new powers like you’ve done on your own. So I could protect everyone.”

Isobel threw her arms up and got to her feet, pacing around the couch; Michael tracked her, anxiety dipping and spiking every time she circled him. Her anger pulsing when she passed behind him made his skin crawl, and he shifted in his seat.

“I don’t even know what to say to that,” she finally spoke, stopping in front of him.

He kept his head bent forward, staring at his knees.

She continued, “I really don’t. I’ve been trying for twenty-one years, but I still don’t know how to get through to you. How to convince you that you’re not alone, that people want to protect you. To help you. But I’m not Max. I’ve never pushed or pried or fought to cling onto you when you shook us off. I just hung around because I knew you’d always come back.” She took a deep breath. Her voice stayed steady and deliberate. “But Michael, this has gone on for too long, and you went too far this time. You have to let us help you. Otherwise—I don’t know. I just don’t. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do anymore.”

Drops of water speckled the tops of Michael’s knees, and he sniffed, swallowed, mouth dry, throat tight and aching. His sister’s gentle hands threaded through his hair, cradling both temples, right hand over Max’s lingering handprint, but no matter how careful that touch was, he flinched.

Isobel tipped his head up so he had to look her in the eye and said, “You’re my brother, Michael. I love you so much. And I would do anything for you, just like you would—and have—do anything for me. But you need to let me! From here on out, I need you to fucking work with me. We’ll figure this out, okay?”

Tears trickling down his face and dripping from his chin, Michael nodded, not trusting his voice, and Isobel fell forward, his arms opening up to catch her, and they stayed like that for a long time, Michael rocking her back and forth, her clinging desperately to his shirt.

“I’m sorry,” he finally croaked, wiping his eyes with the heel of his hand. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. Or Max. I just, I can’t stop myself, sometimes, I know it’s not an excuse, I know it was stupid, I know—”

“I know,” she interrupted his stream of self-loathing, sitting back to look him seriously in the face. “I was in your head, remember?”

She’d found him beneath a vaulted ceiling, stained glass in shifting, alive, alien colors, walled in with his demons. Defining himself inside the devouring maelstrom by the battles he understood. His whole life, he’d sewed himself back whole, and his work wasn’t pretty, but the patterns made sense, and they kept him sane even when the odds demanded otherwise. The image flashed behind his eyes, but that’s all it was, an image. He shook his head.

“Not really.”

“Well. I didn’t really go snooping, no matter how tempting it was,” she said with a self-deprecating roll of her eyes. “But let’s just say…you don’t owe me any explanations you aren’t willing or ready to give. Those belong to you. I know I haven’t always understood that in the past. We both have things to work on, okay?”

“Okay,” Michael rasped, squeezing her tight again. “I…want to work on them with you.”

“Then it sounds like we’re going to be okay,” she softly replied.

(3:00 pm)

Isobel didn’t let him leave the house until both their eyes stopped being red and puffy from crying; It took multiple episodes of some Food Network show he’d never heard of before she agreed to let him out of her sight, and, in deeply un-Isobel-like fashion, she followed him to the door and pulled him into another hug for the road before she let him leave.

The drive from Isobel’s to the Wild Pony wasn’t really long enough to fully ruminate on how bad he must have scared Isobel to warrant this level of reaction. Logically, he’d known, but emotionally it was just beginning to sink in.

Over the past year, he’d been faced with losing Isobel and with losing Max multiple times—had lost Max, in fact. He knew how it felt. Why should the loss of himself be any different to them? In low moments, sure, thoughts shifted beneath the murk of his mind, lurking demons from childhood, that they didn’t need him, they had each other, a more special bond, he was the odd one out, outside, out in the cold. But on the day to day, he didn’t devalue himself like that, not in so many words, did he? But—

To be surprised? That Isobel was afraid, that Max was afraid, that the both of them stood on the precipice of grieving him and had to process the horror of that fall after snatching themselves back at the last minute? It was a slap in the face, a rude awakening. A lesson that for all these years he’d resisted learning.

The first step to protecting those who loved him was to protect himself. He couldn’t keep shelving it as the lowest priority. They were one and the same.

It sounded fake to his own ears, but he’d just have to say it until the lesson sunk in.

With the windows rolled down, the idle breeze tugged Michael’s hair across his face and cooled the late-summer stickiness from his skin. It was just after lunchtime, a little early for Max to be at work, but since he wasn’t at Isobel’s house, it was faster to check for him here than to drive all the way out to his own place.

If there was one positive to his near-death, it was the way Max was invigorated by a purpose. The healing drained him, of course it did; it could have killed him, and that weighed on Michael’s conscience, but afterward, after it worked and he’d pulled Michael back from death, he smiled. He slept. He bustled around Alex’s house babysitting Michael while Alex was at work, and now, with a little distance from fragile death, that didn’t chafe as badly.

Max deserved a better thanks than Michael had thus far been able to render, and with Isobel’s words still ringing in his ears, there was no better time than now.

He pulled up to the Pony, the fairy lights strung across the patio dancing in the wind, the wood of the old building all pale and real in the sunlight. The old, familiar sign above the door was off as long as the bar was closed, but Michael still took a moment to glance at it nice and long, remembering the feel of fixing it under his hands so the whole place felt less liminal, less like a mirror vision of the beating heart that was the Wild Pony glowing under the night sky, lit from within rather than from the sun.

Faint music played as Michael parked and left his truck, so he rounded the corner of the building to suss it out and smiled at what he saw, leaning against one of the trellis supports.

Maria sat on the steps, an old CD radio of Rosa’s beside her playing a classic Rosa mixtape, a Third Eye Blind track Michael only half-remembered flowing around her, her humming running under it, glittering minerals in a riverbed. She was surrounded by papers, pinned under painted rocks to keep them from being snatched away, her hair tied back by a rainbow scarf, and she bent over to write in a binder propped on her knees.

Michael rapped on the pillar behind him to get her attention, and when she looked up she smiled and set the binder aside.

“Guerin! You’re up! What brings you here with the sun in the sky?”

“Where else am I gonna go to get my sea legs back?”

“Well, come pull your ass into port and sit with me.”

She patted the low stair beside her and Michael did as he was told, swiping his hat off his head as he approached her. For her it was wordplay, but Michael cradled to his chest something more true than maybe she’d intended—Maria was a safe harbor, a port in a storm. No matter how bad things got, her warm heart and practical mind were a reminder to never give up. Just sitting beside her was enough to make him smile, even though he sat with a good six inches buffer between them, still unsure what boundaries were appropriate, still navigating the uncertain waters of being friends with an ex who meant something.

“What are you working on?” he asked.

“Oh, you know me.” She gestured vaguely to the arrangement of papers and tucked her feet up beside her, leaning toward Michael, cutting the space between them in half like it wasn’t worth noticing. Some of the tension in Michael’s chest unwound at her ease around him.

“Hustling?” he prompted.

“Yep. I’m just organizing the events I have planned for the upcoming season and making sure I have space set out for scheduling, details, budgeting, the works. High school me would die with envy; my system was never this good when I was trying to study.”

“I’m definitely impressed. Let me know if there’s anything I can help with, anything you need built, or an extra set of ‘hands’ for decorating.”

“How is that going?” she asked, brows furrowing.

“I’m still getting my strength back. Just gotta keep pushing through and hope whatever Jones did didn’t mess me up for good.”

“I’m sure he didn’t.”

Her hand extended but stopped before touching him, until he turned his hand palm-up, asking her to take it. She did, squeezing him.

“You’ll figure it out,” she said. “And the TK aside, have any of the other powers cropped up? The light, the teleporting? Those were the ones Alex told me about.”

“That’s all I remember, really. And no. I haven’t even tried, honestly.” He looked at their joined hands, her wrist bare of the pollen bracelet he’d promised her and wasted, thrown away like trash in a corner of Jones’s cave. This is blasphemy…

“Do you think you will? Try?” Maria asked, head tilted.

“I…hadn’t thought about it. Been focused on getting back to square one with the TK, but…”

Was doing more with his powers still an option? Was he willing to try, and fail, and fail again, without folding and submitting to all the voices in his head that told him every failure was proof positive of the erstwhile adage that he was worthless?

“Well, you have time,” Maria said, squeezing his hand again.

“What about you?” Michael asked. “Any visions?”

Her face shut down. She let go of his hand to smooth both hers down her knees then fold her arms around herself, turning her head away. “No. Still nothing. A few dreams, but it isn’t always easy to tell what’s a normal dream and what’s a vision, and with you out of the woods, the most dire ones are already Jossed.”

“What about Mimi?”

“Huh.” Maria pursed her lips for a second, then said, “I haven’t noticed any change in her? But I’ll have to ask and see what she says. I’m not even completely sure our powers work identically, with the things she’s said about being unstuck in time…I don’t always get that same feeling.”

“We’ll figure it out,” Michael promised her. “Even if it means having to go back to Jones and ask what he knows—”

“No!”

She wheeled on him and smacked his arm lightly.

“Absolutely not! Michael!”

“Not alone, obviously!” He defended.

“Not at all. Jesus Christ. I’ll tell Isobel you said that—I’ll tell Alex—”

“Maria, c’mon,” Michael whined, taking her hand again in an attempt to connect them and calm them both down. “I just don’t want to rule out that he’s meddling in more ways than we know. I still think he’s fucking with Max. You deserve answers, if that’s what’s going on.”

“Not at the cost of your life. Not ever. It could be a hundred other things, too. Stay away from him, Michael, I’m serious.”

“I will. I promise.”

“Good,” she said firmly, wrapping her arm around his again and leaning into him. He let out a long, slow breath as she relaxed.

“You know, in Jones’s cave…”

“Mm?”

Michael carefully encircled her wrist with his fingers. “I lost the bracelet I made for you. The backup one I promised.”

“Are you feeling guilty about that? Because please, don’t,” she replied, covering the hand on her wrist with her other. “That is the last thing on my mind.”

“But I—”

“Hush. I’m glad you had it with you, whatever happened to it. It’s good that you opted to protect yourself, even if it didn’t work.”

“I thought your powers were offline.”

“The visions, maybe. But I don’t need to see the future to read you, Guerin.”

“You are something else, DeLuca.”

“Oh, I’m aware.”

“Hey, Maria—oh! Michael!”

The two of them turned toward the backdoor at the sound of Max’s voice.

“Hey, Max,” Maria said. “Is the inventory finished?”

“Yeah, I was just coming to report back.”

“No need to be so formal,” she teased, standing up and brushing dust from the seat of her pants, looking at the papers around her with her hands on her hips. “I was hoping to get your opinion on some plans, Number One, but someone interrupted, so they’re not quite ready yet.”

“Guilty as charged,” Michael drawled.

Max reached out a hand, and Michael took it to humor him, letting him haul him to his feet.

“I’ll let you off the hook this time,” Maria said as she led the way back into the bar, cool and dim in the daylight. “You can sweep up to say you’re sorry.”

“My pleasure,” Michael said, reaching out a hand, hoping he could summon the broom as nonchalantly as he once could. It sat unresponsive until a spike of formless frustration zipped through him, at which point it flew to his hand fast and hard enough to sting his palm when he caught it. Great. Just what he needed right now—puberty flashbacks.

“I need to run,” Maria said, stowing her binder behind the bar. “Late lunch with Rosa. I’ll see you later, Max—Michael, it was so good to see you. Say hi to Alex for me, okay? I know you’re gonna see him before I do.”

She left with a wink while Michael was still pink and stammering. Maybe Alex had told her already—or maybe that was just Maria, putting him so at ease it was easy to forget how much she saw. His chest glowed so warm he couldn’t stop blushing at that casual acknowledgement, that easy validation, that he and Alex—that Alex and he were what they were to each other, now, again.

“Wait, is she talking about you staying over there, or does she mean—dude!” Max grinned ear to ear and bounded out from behind the bar to pull Michael into a back-slapping hug. “Congratulations!”

Old, brotherly habit had Michael squirming out of Max’s affections, but it didn’t dent his exuberance; he retaliated with a swipe through Michael’s hair, making him duck further out of range, huffing and laughing all at once as he tried to fix it again.

“Yeah, um, Forrest and Alex broke up, and then one thing led to another, so.”

“I’m really happy for you, man.”

“I—thanks. I’m…I’m really happy, too.”

The sudden urge to comfort Max gripped him, a strange survivor’s guilt that things would be working out for him and Alex and Max and Liz would still be so far apart. But it wasn’t his place to throw that in Max’s face now, so he bit his tongue and basked in Max’s honest happiness for him.

“Could you feel, uh, any of my emotions through the handprint?” Michael asked. He ran his hand through his hair over the spot on his temple where Jones had held him, erased by Max’s healing hands, then dropped it back to his side abruptly, flexing away the phantom stiffness that still plagued him, that probably always would. He gave it a shake as if to chase away nervous tingling.

“Nah. But it’s not like I’m looking; I respect your privacy, man.”

“’preciate that,” Michael snarked, and Max just shrugged.

“Any particular reason you ask? I don’t need to know what you and Alex are up to,” Max joked.

Michael considered his answer for a little bit as he made his way between the tables. After all, it wasn’t as if this was the first handprint Max had ever given him. The ones on his neck and hand cut off by his death aside, dozens of times over dozens of years, Max had practiced healing on him and they’d explored that connection. Michael was always the guinea pig; he never wanted for injuries to work on, after all.

But there’d been a lot of handprinting over the past year and change. Max felt something from Liz; Liz felt something from Noah; Rosa and Max had a connection strong enough to tether Max to the world of the living. And then there was Michael, with Jones’s voice in his ear, dripping condescending words about his lack of psychic ability being phenomenal, considering.

At various times in his life, Michael had looked up at the stars and wondered in the silence what it was in him that was irreparably broken.

“Just curious. It’s been a while, and all juiced up like I was, I was wondering if anything felt different.”

“Nothing different. Just you.”

Max smiled like that was a good thing, a comforting thing. And you know what? In between the adrenaline of change, good and bad, in between the rock of Project Shepherd and the hard place of Jones, on an afternoon in a closed bar, a home to both of them, alone with his brother, Michael let it be.

He cleared his throat. “Good. So there’s no…interference or anything? Nothing weird lurking around up there?”

“Not that I can tell; Isobel would probably know better than I would. Whatever he did to you was bizarre, man. It wasn’t like the way, uh, the way I’ve killed people before. Or the way Noah killed.”

“I don’t think he was just trying to kill me.”

Michael made his way over to a booth and beckoned Max over; he lingered over his work for a glance at the clock and then came and joined him.

He continued, “He kept going on about teaching and knowledge and this being the wrong way but the most efficient. He knew it would hurt me, but maybe it would have worked better if he did it to someone more, uh, receptive than me.”

“What are you talking about?” Max leaned over the table, brow furrowed. This close up, the dark circles below his eyes were more noticeable. “Michael, what he did to you wasn’t in any way your fault—”

“I know, I know, that’s not what I mean. Just…look, I saw the security footage from Caulfield, from the day of the Valenti incident. The way that alien approached Jim Valenti and put his hands on him was identical to what Jones did to me, and I think maybe that guy was just trying to communicate but it fucked up a human in a way he either couldn’t expect or was too out of it to realize. And, well,” Michael gestured to his own head. “I’m the most human of the three of us up here.”

“I…huh.” Max sat back and drummed his fingers on the tabletop as he processed that. “Well, whatever the case, it proved you and Isobel were right about him. He can’t be trusted. Nobody should have any more contact with him. We’ll start doing our monthly drop offs contactless until we all figure out what should be done with him.”

His voice was firm, businesslike. Traffic Stop Max was Michael’s least favorite version of his brother and he’d hoped that his turn to the civilian would’ve put that guy to rest, but he had a tendency to rear his head in a crisis.

But in this case, he saw through him, and that façade was hiding something.

“How do you feel about that?” Michael asked, leaning back and slouching, reflecting Max’s rigid body language the way he had for a decade, cops and robbers style.

“It doesn’t matter how I feel about it. He almost killed you; we’ll do what has to be done.”

“Uh, it definitely does matter. You’re the closest thing to a next of kin he’s got, as far as we know. If anyone gets to decide what happens to him, it’s you.”

“That’s what I’m doing.”

“Is it? ‘Cause, look, I know I fucked up a lot of stuff running off to Jones half-cocked like I did. I don’t want to set off a chain reaction of more bad mistakes that rips us apart again when we’re just startin’ to…” Michael trailed off with a self-conscious shrug. It was realer than he’d intended to get, but it was the root of the issue, wasn’t it?

Max’s face softened, and Michael slumped lower in the booth.

“You’re not. You won’t.”

“You’re just saying that—”

“Michael.”

That tone was always a coin flip if it’d get right under Michael’s skin or if it’d shut him up. It landed on the second one this time, to Michael’s relief.

Max said, “No chain reactions. What we were doing before wasn’t working, okay? I knew I wanted something from Jones, but I couldn’t bring myself to reach out and take it. All you did was force us to make a choice when I would’ve dug my heels in and not been able to for a long time otherwise.”

“The answers you’re looking for, though, you deserve to look for them if it’s what you need,” Michael forged on, battling his clumsy tongue. “I should’ve said that before. You deserve to know who you are and to learn who that is in whatever way you can. Everybody deserves that.”

“Thank you. I mean that. But I was getting so desperate—the things I was thinking of doing—I scared myself, okay? I didn’t think—I don’t think I am that person. And being this person I am right now and who I want to be right now is more important than any answers about the past, if that’s what it means to find them.”

Michael sat with that, looking Max up and down, sitting with his own feelings as much as Max’s words. Parsing his own reactions to Max was something he took steadier, more carefully than most other things in his life. It was a set of muscles he needed to practice with as much as he needed to get power back to his telekinesis.

“Okay, man. I respect that,” he said finally, leaning over the table to punch Max in the shoulder. Max made a face and rubbed that spot.

“Ow, man, thanks, I guess.”

“Damn, did I get you in your writing arm?”

“Try my drink-mixing arm. If I’m off tonight, I’m ratting you out to Maria.”

Michael let out a scandalized noise and slipped out of the booth.

“Where are you going?” Max laughed, dark eyes shining with life in a way Jones’s never could. For all they were identical, Michael barely saw the resemblance.

“To lay low, what do you think? You’re makin’ me a fugitive.”

“Uh huh. Good luck; you know she’s just going to ask Alex.”

“Damn it. The things I do for love.”

A smile on his own face as soon as he turned his back, Michael was almost at the door when Max called his name and he turned to face him again.

“Michael? Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Asking. Listening.”

Those two words held a lifetime of desperate loneliness between them, and Michael would be sitting with that, too, as long as he was holding it in his head, making it a conscious decision, to do right by his brother.

“You don’t have to thank me,” he said.

“I wanted to,” Max replied simply.

“Well in that case…I guess you’re welcome.”

Michael’s phone buzzed in his pocket, not the single pulse of a text but the longer jangling of a phone call. He fished it out, smiling when he saw the name, and he didn’t even wait to get privacy from Max before answering.

“Alex—”

“Thank God. Where are you, Michael? Are you okay?”

“Alex? I’m fine, I’m at the Pony, what’s wrong—”

Max hurried to Michael’s side.

Alex repeated, “Thank god. Don’t come home, do you hear me? Do not come back to the house until I give you the all clear. Stay with Max and Maria.”

“What? No!”

But the line cut off midway through his protest, leaving him with nothing but the dial tone.

[lambourngb]

For the first line meme: It's later than he thought when the knock on the door interrupts another night of staring at the computer screen.

the heart is a muscle - post season 2, mentions of forlex , getting back together malex fic for you dear @jule1122, and @haloud, and @christchex.

It's later than he thought when the knock on the door interrupted another night of staring at the computer screen.

Mr. Jones and his last words to Michael, before he was forced back into stasis, still haunted him. “You really think there was just one ship? We were in formation, kid. What you should ask yourself is, where did everyone else go? Did they just keep zippin’ on their way to the colony? Or did they stop and take a gander at this planet and what they did to the survivors?” 

The tiny bit of hope that this Max-lookalike psychopath didn’t represent the last of his species, had Michael diving back into his research behind the crash of 1947. The online conversations about Roswell had moved on to other topics since Michael had abandoned the message boards in the wake of Caulfield, but with some effort, he had found new threads detailing neighborhood folklore regarding newcomers with eerie talents, like the ability to grow food in droughts. Stories that peppered all over the world. Stories that might mean an alien colonist on Earth.

The thirst for knowledge about his planet and his people would never leave him, even if the actual urge to go had quieted down into just a soft whisper. Life was finally good in Roswell. After the mind games of Mr. Jones, Michael could admit now that he did have a family here, even if they weren’t related by blood. Sanders, Arturo, Mimi, Michelle Valenti had all stepped in at various times to offer a guiding hand to him, or just a quiet nod of reassurance that he was valued. Max and Isobel would always be his siblings, but now he could count Liz, Rosa, Kyle, and even awkwardly in their new friendship, Maria, as extended his family now.  

It didn’t escape Michael that not even in his thoughts could he attribute his feelings for Alex as brotherly. There was still a vacant place at the head of Michael’s overflowing table of family for a partner, a spouse. That somehow, the seat even as other people came and went, only seemed to fit Alex. 

Except they were still just friends.

Another knock, more impatient this time, rattled the Airstream’s door. Michael sat up, placing his ancient laptop on the counter and rolled off his bed to get to his feet. His life was had changed so much in the last couple of years that he had enough people in it, friends, who dropped by his trailer at all hours of the day, not just Isobel, that he couldn’t even guess the identity of the visitor. 

Backlit from the auto yard’s security lights, stood Alex Manes holding a cardboard drink holder from ‘Bean Me Up’.

“Alex,” Michael greeted, a smile already at his lips. He glanced at the coffee and back to Alex, “Couldn’t wait until tomorrow I take it?” This was part of the new normal for Michael, meeting Alex for coffee, three or four mornings a week. It was something that had grown out of a happy coincidence, Alex’s gym was near the Boys and Girls Club that Michael volunteered at, serving breakfast in the mornings and tutoring kids in math in the afternoon.

Same place at the same time, once, then twice, became a standard thing. Not a date. Just, taking advantage of the mutual collision to talk. And at first, it was awkward to share news with each other, like Alex’s dating experiences with Forrest or Michael’s attempts to recover his memories of his planet, but later things had softened into a routine. Order coffee, find a small table, and then spend the next hour playfully fending off Alex’s attempts to foist food on Michael’s side of the table while also stealing sips of his caramel lattes. 

Perhaps one day Alex would realize that Michael had only ordered the ridiculously sweet coffee drinks because he knew that was what Alex preferred to drink. It was still a damn toxic hold over from Jesse Manes that Alex still persisted in ordering black coffee with no sugar. Dating Forrest might have helped Alex be open with his sexuality, there were still lessons for Alex to learn in being gentle with himself, Michael observed. The act of indulging in pleasures, instead of engaging in deprivation, it was something he struggled with as well.

In the meantime, Michael could at least help Alex in this small way, letting him ‘steal’ his lattes.

“Alex?” Something about Michael had robbed Alex of all speech as he just stared up at Michael in response, still holding the drinks dumbly in his hands. “Are you okay? What’s wrong-”

The switch from teasing to urgent concern finally snapped Alex out of his apparent stupor. “Right, nothing, um, just- since when do you wear glasses?”

Michael’s hand went to his face automatically, realizing belatedly that he was still wearing his reading glasses. He started to pull them off, blushing in embarrassment, when Alex blurted out, “They look good! On you. The glasses. Um great even.” 

“Oh.” Now that. Michael did not know what to do with that. 

In the yellow-wash of light, Alex was clearly the same man from yesterday’s coffee visit physically. His soft mouth was there, but it came with his standard closed expression that he must have picked up abroad, wearing it now as Michael’s least favorite souvenir. His posture was the same too, forever changed from losing his leg, straight-backed and rigid but just then, he was someone Michael hadn’t seen in a long time. That awkward stuttering response was Alex Manes, the seventeen-year-old boy who had whipped off his visor nervously in the museum, the same boy who touched with soft gliding palms newly revealed skin before snatching his hands away at the first sign that it was unwelcome. 

Aware that it was his turn to stare at Alex, Michael forced himself to smile naturally, “I guess not even my alien physiology can beat back the glare of a computer screen. I forgot I had them on.”

“Did I interrupt something? I can go if you want,” Alex stopped, probably hearing the past echo between them but not in the benign way of before. “Or I can stay and help, even if it’s with surprise coffee?” This time he lifted the tray up between them, an offer or a barricade of politeness, Michael wasn’t sure.

“I’m looking for other survivors,” Michael admitted, before looking down to avoid Alex’s sharpened gaze of interest. “On the internet, obviously, since I don’t think I can trust that I could sense them with my mind.”

It was clear that Alex hadn’t forgotten any of the various tactics Jones had employed against them, but Michael in particular. A frequent repeated taunt was about how damaged their psychic abilities were for adults, to the point no one had sensed Caulfield, but that from his pod prison Jones could hear Nora calling for help nightly right until the end. The twisted knife of how Michael had grown up waiting for someone to save him. Alex pursed his lips to object, “Michael-”

“Jones was full of shit about a lot,” Michael assured him quickly, “but I think he was right about the ships, that it wasn’t just one that crashed. I’m just combing through stories, basically internet mythology, looking for clues about strangers who might have some sort of power. It’s a lot of ‘world’s biggest cucumber’ stories right now, but hey, come in, you’re the computer genius and I could use your help and your coffee.” He placed his hands on the coffee holder, carrying it for Alex and backed away from the steps to let Alex have as much room as possible to navigate the cumbersome metal steps into the Airstream.

The seating area of the Airstream had been folded away and stored in order to make room for the drying rack of his clothes from laundry day, leaving only his narrow bed for seating. Michael had half-a-minute’s pause in reconsideration. They could relocate outside to his fire pit with the cheap camp chairs, and sit pressed together elbow-to-elbow around the dim screen of the laptop between them. Or. Or they could squeeze together on his bed, a place where that sort of contact between them had always led to sex. What was the safer option for their friendship? 

His heart always strayed too far from the safety of his bones when it came to Alex. 

Ignoring his pounding pulse, he grabbed the coffee cup marked “Alex” and pulled it to his lips to drink and made a gesture to the bed. At least he had made the bed up earlier with clean linens, the spread was neatly tucked into the corners, almost military sharp. That made it feel slightly less risqué to him than inviting Alex into warm mussed sheets that reeked of Michael’s skin. That rain and bourbon scent that Alex had pointed out.

“Um, your coffee was the other one.” Alex picked up the abandoned cup marked with a ‘M’ and followed him over to the bed. 

“No, I’m drinking the coffee I always end up with. Your black tar juice.” 

Alex smiled slightly, caught out by the observation before gingerly sitting next to Michael as Michael scooted over toward the wall of the Airstream. “Yeah, I guess I do end up stealing yours.” He brought his left leg up easily on the mattress and then passed his coffee cup over to Michael’s waiting hands as he brought his prosthetic up with both hands for balance. The smile faded, as Alex reclaimed the ‘M’ cup to sip from deep in thought as he seemed to review the history of their morning encounters. “I’m sorry-”

“Alex, come on,” he teased leaning his shoulder against Alex’s. “You haven’t caught on by now? I only order that sugar monstrosity because I know you won’t let yourself do it. I don’t even like caramel that much.”

“What? Come on, that’s what you ordered that first time-”

“I ordered that for the director at the community center.” Michael placed his coffee on the window of the Airstream and concentrated on bringing the laptop back up to rest on his knees between them not daring to look at Alex. He would never be able to confess the next bit and see Alex’s too-expressive gaze at the same time. But. As he had reminded himself earlier, he needed to work on indulging in pleasures as well, not just holding on to the pylon weight of depriving himself, of never believing he was worthy of good things. And being Alex’s friend was that. A pleasure. A good thing. The best thing.

“Once I saw you though, I kinda forgot the errand I was on in the first place. Then, I might have gone back at the same time the next day. And the day after that. For reasons.” He glanced to the side, meeting Alex’s wide eyes briefly before turning back to the laptop. “So I guess it's my turn to apologize? I might have had an agenda.”

It was quiet between them, as Michael clicked through a few different forums. He wasn’t paying any attention to where his cursor landed, he just kept scrolling through window after window as a distraction because the urge to pull back, to crack a joke, to do anything but let Alex process in silence was hard to suppress but needed. That was a part of becoming friends, learning that Alex needed extra time to formulate a response, something that came from needing to shut all emotional responses off during a drone operation at work.

“Me too,” Alex replied softly. “About the agenda. I mean, I don’t even have a membership at that gym.”

Michael frowned, the words not making any sense to him.

“That first time was dumb luck, I mean, I stopped in that morning because I had stayed the night at Forrest’s for the first time and I found out he doesn’t drink coffee. Doesn’t even own a coffee maker.” Alex scoffed quietly, before leaning against Michael affectionately, “I should have known that it was doomed from the start, just on coffee alone but what really put the nail in the coffin was the fact I pretended to go to that gym for two months because I had a bag of clothes with me when you saw me.”

“That was your clothes from staying over with him,” Michael said slowly, almost to himself, before he frowned even deeper as the connections fell into place. He didn’t know whether he wanted to laugh or not, but this was a new level of avoidance of an awkward subject for Alex.  It did make sense considering the timing, and maybe that was why he was confessing now to Michael because not that Michael allowed himself to show it, the early days of Alex’s relationship with the historian were difficult for him. He didn’t begrudge Alex being happy or being with someone else, but there was still an old, gnarled bit of Michael’s heart that pinched painfully at seeing the romance play out for everyone in Roswell to see. “Alex, I know you guys are dating, you didn’t have to lie about that and pretend you had gone to that gym.” 

“Were dating,” Alex patiently corrected. “Pay attention, Michael. I just said it was doomed from the start.”

“Because he didn’t drink coffee?”

“Because I was engaging in a deep cover operation that involved a fake gym membership, rescheduling my appointments to the afternoon and blocking out time in my mornings all, so I could see you.” The gears were still turning too slowly for Alex’s liking as he rolled his eyes at Michael and continued, “I ended it with Forrest about a month ago. Or well, he ended it with me because I was always too busy in the morning for breakfast and I never wanted to stay over at his.”

Michael blinked, then looked down at his laptop. The ancient fan and processor were making a soft whine of effort, much like his own brain at the moment. Alex was single. Alex has been single for over a month. A month where he didn’t mention it once during their get-togethers. 

Alex exhaled slowly, draining the latte before placing the cup out of range. “I’m really trying to use my words here, but you have exactly one minute to understand what I’m saying before I have to get creative-”

“Are you saying that you-”

“Yes-”

“Still want me?”

“I never stopped,” Alex reached for Michael’s hand, stilling the rapid clicking. “I came here because I wanted to be honest with you. It occurred to me that somewhere along the line, those meetups for coffee had basically become the most important part of my day. I … I was turning them into dates in my head. With you.” He licked his lips, his eyes drifting down to Michael’s mouth, causing Michael to bite his own lip in response. The anticipation between them thickened, until Alex groaned softly, his head briefly ducking toward Michael’s. “In the past, I’ve been guilty of thinking we were on the same page, and we weren’t, so I’m- Michael, I will still be your friend no matter what, but I want-”

This time, Michael didn’t let him finish and closed the scant distance between them on the bed to kiss Alex. The laptop fell to the side of their legs as Alex surged into it, pushing Michael down flat on the mattress in his eagerness. Michael opened for Alex, letting him have whatever he wanted and buried his fingers in the soft, black hair as they traded kisses.

Suddenly, a bubble of laughter burst from Michael’s chest, the lightness of the situation that felt almost too good to be real spread through his veins. “Oh my god, you brought me coffee to tell me that getting coffee together wasn’t just getting coffee for you, Alex-”

“Shut up!”

“You need a new job, nothing in intel, sweetheart-”

“I am, I did, that is.” Alex lifted his eyebrow at Michael’s too-still pause before he sweetly brushed the long stubborn curl out of Michael’s face, “Done with the Air Force as of next month.”

“Fuck me.”

“I can do that too.”