#tips on lesbian sex and banjos

[vanilluhbeaux]

Not Another Au!

vanilluhbeaux (distinque)

Chapter 5

: he gave them the heebie-jeebies

“You know, yesterday wasn’t that bad,” Kirishima said, walking into class behind Bakugou and Ochako, the latter of which shot him a confused glance.

“Eijiro,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper, “one of our classmates died yesterday.” They followed along into their seats next to each other, almost completing the nearly full classroom. The natural chatter of teenagers already filled the room with as much life as it possibly could, the colors coming from off of the students shining without fail. Kirishima looked back at her and shot a sheepish glance, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Well, yeah, but it still wasn’t a bad day. It could've been a classmate we liked,” he answered, sliding further into his seat.

“I guess yesterday was alright,” Bakugou added, pulling a notebook out of his backpack. “Shit could’ve gone all the way left.”

“I think shit did go left,” Ochako said, rolling her eyes, “The curse actually started. Mineta actually died. Why am I the only one taking this seriously?” She wrapped her arms around herself, pouting slightly.

“Because, like, fuck Mineta?” Bakugou said, shrugging. “Nobody really gave half a shit about him except for Denki, and that's probably because he's a fucking idiot.” The blonde loooked around for a pen out of his backpack, rolling his eyes when he didn't find one. He huffed, looking towards his girlfriend, who sighed before giving him the one she held in her hand. "I think Denki was the one who said fuck him yesterday, Cheeks," Bakugou tacked on, shrugging.

"I said 'Death to the bitch'. Don't put words in my mouth," Denki said, walking in the classroom and taking his headphones out of his ears.

"Is your broke ass talking to me?" Bakugou said, raising an eyebrow.

"The only broke person in the room is your girlfriend," Denki said, rolling his eyes and popping his headphones back into his ears.

"You could've left me out of it," Ochako said, turning around in her seat to look at Denki.

"And your boyfriend could have kept my name out of his mouth. I guess we all have things we could've done. Shoulda, woulda, coulda," Denki finished, sliding into his seat with an expression that screamed 'You Tried It'. In her mind, Ochako thought she was going to try him again, just so that she could get the last word in, but when she paid attention to his face, Ochako's own softened. His eyes seemed darker than normal, and she noticed thin, fine lines forming through purple bags that sat just under his eyelids. She fixed her mouth to ask about him, but she found herself unable to speak after staring at him for a moment more.

"I don't think I've ever seen him this upset," she whispered to Kirishima and Bakugou, the former of which only shook his head in response. She gave a last glance at him before continuing, "It's unnatural seeing him so down."

Kirishima nodded, saying, "Yeah, I've been knowing him forever and he's never been this sad. It's super weird." The classroom door creaked open and Shinsuo slid in, his footsteps quiet against the tile floor. Still, as quiet as he was, he couldn't help but attract the attention of everyone else in the classroom.

"It's almost like he's a main character too," Izuku said, giving a knowing look at Todoroki, who made a confused face.

"Fuck are you talking about?" he asked back, shrugging.

"You know what I'm talking about," he insisted, rolling his eyes.

"Denki's just in a sour mood," Shinshuo explain, taking the attention away from the two in the back and directing it towards himself. "Min—what happened yesterday really hit him hard and he hasn't been right since."

"Acting bitchy isn't a healthy way to deal with it," Kirishima said, throwing an understanding look towards his oldest friend, "And you know that. You can talk to me about it if it's bothering you. Or not; there's a million ways to cope."

Denki looked up at him, his dark eyes only flickering for a second. With a soft sigh, he said, "I guess I never learned how."

"You've never felt like this?" Ochako interjected, "You've never lost someone?"

"No," Denki breathed, "I've never learned to cope with an actual death."

Kirishima opened his mouth to speak, but the bell inturrupted him before he could let a single word loose. Instead, he reached a hand out and grabbed Denki's shoulder, giving him a tight squeeze. "I know we're not as close as we used to be...but you can always talk to me. Man to man. I know what it's like to lose someone close to you and I'm here for you. Always." He gave one last reassuring look towards the blonde, who nodded his head in a numb, vague gesture. Heaving a soft sigh, the redhead went back to his seat and gathered his materials for class, watching the door for their teacher to burst in. She was late most days, but he thought the death one of one of her students—though he had no reason to assume this anyway. Instead, the next person to walk through the door was none other than Momo, her hair smoothed back into a glossy ponytail and eyes rearing heavy bags.

"Your eyes are dark enough to see through the bottomless pit that is my soul," Tokoyami said, lifting his own dark eyes to look at her.

"What the fuck does that even mean?" Todoroki said, furrowing his eyes together.

"Sometimes he just says a bunch of shit to sound fake deep," Izuku replied, rolling his eyes. "You get used to it."

"It means," Tokoyami huffed, slightly irritated, "you look like you haven't slept at all last night."

"I didn't," she confirmed, gliding into her seat in the front of the classroom, "I was having a really bad night 'cause of Mineta, so Jirou came over with the strap."

"Why would she try to rob you?" Mina asked, her pink eyebrow lifted, "I thought she loved you."

"And I thought you were a dumbass," Momo said, flipping her ponytail, "I guess we're both right."

"My dad was always strapped up," Izuku added thoughtfully.

"That's why you don't have a dad," Bakugou said with a snarky snicker.

"If it makes you feel any better, I don't have a dad either," Todoroki said, slinging his arm around Izuku, "he used to beat me with the strap."

"You just keep oversharing, Shouto," Izuku said, propping an eyebrow up. "I think it's a personality defect or something. You autistic or something?"

"I'm not a Gary Stu," Todoroki replied.

"And none of you know what a strap is, either," Miss Midnight said, strolling into the classroom with Iida on her hip, disappointment heavy in her throat. "It's slang for a dildo."

"What's a dildo?" Denki asked, raising his hand—not bothering to wait to be called on. "It sounds like a type of bean."

"That's pinto, stupid," Mina said, giving him a strong glare. "A dildo is a kind of instrument with strings. Like a guitar."

"That's a banjo, dumbass," Sero said, laughing, "It's a kind of rodent with a really hard shell."

"That's a fucking armadillo," Bakugou said. "All of you guys are fucking stupid. A dido is a sex toy."

"I'm sorry we're late, class!" Iida said, bowing his head before everyone and effectively changing the subject, "my brother insisted that we ride to school with him today because Mineta's passing yesterday. It can be very dangerous and he doesn't want anything to happen to us when he's not around to protect and serve." Painting a smile on his face, he confidentally strolled to the middle of class and took his seat, quickly getting out his materials and scribbling down the date. Miss Midnight followed suit, grabbing a marker and writing down the date on the white board, along with her intended lesson plans for the day—Sex Education and the History of Lesbianism. She figured if her class didn't know what a dildo was—let alone a bean, banjo, or armadillo—they needed her help.

The classroom door creaking open grabbed the class's attention and Todoroki found himself staring at the principal, who entered the classroom as quietly as he could. Nezu's footsteps barely made a sound as he tipped in, almost silently stepping on the tile and creeping to the center of the room, carrying a deep blue briefcase by his side. When all eyes were on him, he began solemnly, "I have some really terrible news, class."

"Is it about Mineta? Because we all know what happened to Mineta," Todoroki said from his spot in the back of the classroom.

"It is. And I understand that everyone knows what happened to him—some of you guys were even there to see what happened. And I'm sorry you guys had to witness that. It's something nobody should ever have to witness—"

"—I've seen worse," Todoroki replied, shrugging his shoulders.

"You shouldn't have," he said, "The job of a principal is to make my school safe. I'm supposed to make my students safe. And under my watch, a student died. This curse has killed so many people, and I know it hurts—"

"—Not really," Sero said, "The only one really sad about this is Denki, nobody else really cares."

"I don't want anyone to think that this was their fault—"

"We don't," Ochako said, "we don't blame ourselves for anything that happened to him. We didn't tell him to tag along with us, we didn't tell him to run off by himself, and we didn't tell him to get himself killed. He did all that by himself."

"And likewise, I don't want anyone to view death as something to blame others for. Think of them as acts of nature." He bent down and reached into his briefcase, pulling a knife out. With a simple flick of his wrist, he dragged it across his throat, slitting it and spilling blood across the classroom. Momo found herself especially drenched in it, spewing from his life-emptying corpse. A scream ripped from her throat as the blood seeped through her clothes, touching her and sticking to her skin.

"Are we supposed to take notes on this, Miss Midnight?" Iida asked, wiping the blood off of his glasses with his shirt. "Because this is a really big moment in history and I'd like to be prepared if it shows up on a test."

"Don't you get it?" Momo screamed, "Our principal just killed himself!"

"And it'll be for nothing if I fail this class!" Iida screamed back.

"Is no one going to call for help?" Ochako screamed.

"What is there to help?" Izuku replied, thankful for his spot at the back of the classroom and away from the corpse steadily leaking blood. "Nezu's super dead. Ain't no help for him. We might as well get an early dismissal and go home. Try this shit again tomorrow."

"Nobody's going anywhere," Miss Midnight said, standing by the door. "Tsuyu," she said, pointing to a girl with large eyes and green, blood-stained, hair, "call the police."

"No can do," the girl replied, her eyes glued to her phone, "it'll ruin my Snapchat. I gotta get the whole thing or people are going to try and say Deku, Mina, or Tokoyami killed him."

"Why is it always us?" Mina asked, bunching her brows together.

"Because you're black," Tsuyu said, "And every time something happens, the police are going to try and blame the black guys."

"Miss Midnight?" Shinsuo said, raising his hand, "I called the police when Deku started talking."

"My name is Izuku but whatever," he said, huffing and lifting his legs to lay on the seat next to him, partially to avoid the blood making it's way to the back of the classroom. "Y'all are starting to get on my nerves with this Deku shit."

"Our principal is dead!" Momo screamed, her hands balling into fist.

"So is Mineta!" Denki yelled back, crossing his arms. "People die every fucking day in this class! It can be any one of us next! Or our families! Do we honestly give a shit anymore?"

"Yeah," Mina said, under her breath, "A bitch really doesn't want to die right now."

"That's too damn bad!" Denki said, rolling his eyes. "We're all going to die. One of us is already dead. Does it really matter who?"

"Uh, yeah?" Bakugou said, "It matters a lot. I'd die for Ochako and Kirishima, so it they better not be the dead one."

"Bro, you'd die for me?" Kirishima asked, a soft expression taking over his face.

"Yeah—Don't let it go to your head."

"I'd die for you first, bro," Kirishima said, a warm smile crossing his face. "You too, Ochako."

"Please don't," she said, lifting her own feet up off of the floor. "I appreciate the thought, though."

"I appreciate you," Kirishima said. "I think I'd die for everyone in this class—except for Aoyoma. You're a little weird, fam. And Shouji. And Sato. Basically everyone that isn't an important addition to the class. Everyone else, you're all really cool and I wouldn't mind taking a bullet for you." He turned his red eyes to the unusually quiet Momo, rocking herself shakily in her chair. "You too, Momo. Even if you're a bitch sometimes."

"Then perish," Todoroki said, though he couldn't help the warm feeling bubbling in his chest. It encompassed his entire body, filling him up starting from his heart and moving outward. He let out a little shake, though it did nothing to calm his nerves and steady himself. He felt his hetrochromatic eyes wander the room, and as he looked at his classmates, the warm feeling heated itself into something greater—almost boiling over. Oh shit, he thought, letting out a shaky breath. Does he...he couldn't possibly...

like

his classmates?

His eyes fixed themselves onto Izuku, who's own green eyes were fixed onto his phone, seemingly enjoying Tsuyu's live Snapchat show. He noticed the way his phone was reflected in those bright green eyes, sparkling and highlighting the freckles that dotted his cheeks. The small smile dancing on his lips replayed over in his mind, and he swore he heard his voice over the growing sounds of sirens.

shit.