#tmi i know but

[hexonthepeach]

thanks for 200

i know im a small blog with niche content and i shot myself in the foot early on in my tumblr posting by hiding this one from searches/tag lists but i think that only makes me more appreciative for the people following me and the kindness everyone has shown me reading and responding to my fic.

extreme tmi but i lost someone very close to me a little under 2 years ago and used writing (and maybe a little extreme disassociation/hyperfixation and maladaptive daydreaming) to cope. that time hasn't always been kind but there have been bright spots in the grace of other people. it's proven to me personally how much community to share interests and experiences with is meaningful, especially in the wake of isolation/grief. while i try not to be a downer or too emotional on this platform know if you've engaged with me or my work in the past few years you have been a helpful if perhaps unwitting participant in getting me out of a very dark place (and an inspiration to keep trudging out).

i appreciate it more than you can possibly know. onwards and upwards, as they say. if someone is reading, even if it's just one person, i'll keep writing.

[marleysfinest]

didn’t realise how good the choso nation would be eating 2day!!! and on the first day of my period too it’s written in the stars!!!!!

[rosekasa]

i think what i adore about ladynoir beyond high school age (18 and over) is the opportunity it leaves for some of the most DELICIOUS best friends to lovers scenarios. because, like, two people who've been fighting side by side for years? who've known each other long enough to make jokes about it, haha remember when we were fourteen and you-- we AGREED to never speak of it!!!! who've spent so long learning each other inside out, even, in chat noir's case, getting over feelings, that the idea of anything romantic between them is so far off the radar that they don't feel the need for certain boundaries, because why would it matter if they made jokes about how attractive they find each other, about getting married, about how they could totally mess with the rest of the miracle team by pretending they're hooking up because it's so far out of the realm of possibility.

but then there would be that imperceptible shift. the moment where one of them makes a joke and it feels just a bit more loaded than it should. gazes lingering where they never lingered and playful smiles turning curious. the sudden awareness that, while maybe they were cuddling on a rooftop with their best friend, they were also wrapped up in the arms of someone they trust with their lives, and is extremely attractive, and, wait, if the only reason it was platonic before was because there were no feelings, what does THIS mean?

THE TENSION. THE PINING. THE INHERENT MESS OF BEING IN YOUR TWENTIES. PLEASEEEE

[lazylittledragon]

ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:

i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???

[aleclightofmylifewoodbane]

i truly hate the show bc YOU GUYS DONT KNOW WHAT YOURE MISSING WHEN YOU WATCH THE SHOW BEFORE READING THE BOOKS

you dont know that magnus’ magic is the same striking blue as alec’s eyes

you dont know alec’s eyes are the same color as the ancestors of a family so intertwined with his

you don’t know that magnus sees ghosts in the blue of alec’s eyes

you don’t know magnus is two inches taller than alec

you dont know that alec loves that magnus is taller than him

you don’t know that they dated in secret for months

you dont know alec’s wardrobe is absolutely hopeless and he only wears years old worn out sweaters with holes in the cuffs and magnus loves it

you dont know that sometimes magnus wears his worn out sweaters

you dont know that they didnt get married for years until alec became consul and they could get married in warlock blue and shadowhunter gold under his new law

you dont know they have two kids, before they ever married

you dont know their first son is named after alec’s brother max, who actually died during the war

you dont know that max’s skin is blue, and his eyes are just a shade darker than alec’s

you dont know that alec loved one man so much he changed the world for him

[booksandmore]

one thing i never liked abt shadowhunters (the show) is how they did the institue. like why are there so many people??? why is there technology???? is this a police station?????

[ladsofsorrow24]

i joke a lot about wanting to talk to fujimoto one on one but in all seriousness i think that'll be a recipe for disaster

[yumethefrostypanda]

I wonder if Simon’s hands are heavy?... It happens that someone puts their hand on your head and you immediately realize that “fuck, the hand is as heavy as a brick, now your skull will crack.” Oh, do you remember his hands in the bar? Perfect nails, long fingers, and the skin on his hands looks glossy. You just want to bury your face in these hands like a cat.

You said it best, Anon. I find his hands so lean and strong *-* His hands aree heavy!* May i add;

HUGE

and Soft :3

gentle pats all around

[witchlingcirce]

I so desperately need the fight scene between Janus and Thule!Simon. Thule Simon NEEDS to be the one who kills him, it would be so poetic.

I’m actually so curious about Thule Simon, I wanna know how he feels about Clary dying, about Isabelle dying! I wanna know why he hasn’t helped. HE NEEDS TO BE IN TWPPPPP PLEASEEEEE.

[hexonthepeach]

hello, i hope you’re doing well and taking care of yourself!!! i’ve been following you for a while after i found your writing on ao3 and I’ve been meaning to send you something for so long but I’ve been having a hard time figuring out what to say but finally have plucked up the courage!! you are hands down one of my absolute favorite writers!! i was having just a really hard time personally and found dark & stormy on ao3 one day and was immediately drawn to the Jaehyun and Johnny tag and what kept me was your absolutely beautiful writing, your amazing world building, and wonderful consideration of all your characters that had me rooting for everyone and were just so spot on!! it was wonderful and since I found you, every update every new story makes me so so happy and I don’t know how to thank you because your writing has really gotten me through some hard times!!

you know that feeling you get when you find a fic that you love so much and then you find that it’s a writer who writes long fics and it’s just everything you want and that’s how I feel when I found you!! thank you so so much for sharing your writing!! you’ve made me laugh and cry and kick my feet and i appreciate you so much and all the hard work and research you put in!! thank you again and im gonna start sharing more of my comments on your fics soon!! 💗💗

hello and so lovely to meet you--i'm so glad you found the courage to message me because i opened this up and immediately burst into tears at how special it is. to hear you found and appreciated my work and were willing to share that with me is the best gift i could ask for.

i am so sorry to hear you went through rough times. i am grateful my writing was able to give you some comfort. not to overshare but perhaps to be too painfully honest i started writing fic again in late 2021 as a silly little project after reading a lot of good works during quarantine and struggling with unemployment and isolation. then, a few months later i had the worst experience of my life. without going into detail, the grief and loss i went through, and still go through regularly, make me feel sometimes like i'm living on surface of the moon.

i didn't write again for a long time, and when i did it was for myself. i made the decision to share it half a year later as sort of an attempt to connect with other people who might enjoy the same weird hyperfixative space i'd lost myself in and hopefully give them a little joy. it feels weird to write out all this confessionally about longform erotica based in the stage personas of foreign idols but i think it's important to note that i wouldn't be here if i hadn't been at my lowest and needed an avenue to connect with the world of the living.

so all that to say: thank you, from the bottom of my heart. i look forward to reading (and responding to!) your comments. every single one is more meaningful to me than i can relay in words.

[courting-trouble]

i’m looking through my copy of sobh and this art is getting to me oh my god

like alec is truly living a life 18 year old him could not have imagined. we get to see him go from being a scared angry boy who struggles to truly open up to anyone and lashes out to cope with it all in city of bones to being a confident, outwardly loving man with a husband and kids he adores, surrounded by his close friends and family and working to make the world a better place for his loved ones in the most powerful position in shadowhunter society. he gets to enjoy a beach vacation with the love of his life and his two wonderful children and just be happy.

[kitty-gray]

It says a lot about the TSC fandom that the second we hear Cassie say "it would be a spoiler" we immediately think someone will die.

[dulcewrites]

Hmm well now that Disney went and showed their asses (again), I feel like I can say this without putting bad juju out/jinxing anything. I honestly think the writing was on the wall when amandla, who was arguably the most excited pre the show coming out, essentially went radio silent. Then my gut feeling was only compounded by them (Disney - Lucasfilms - whoever) clearly pushing Qimir/Manny as the lead… which is just not how the show works??

There are possible reasons for that. As for pushing Qimir, it’s clear he (and maybe Sol as well) ended up being breakout characters from the show. I can’t begrudge that - Qimir is interesting as hell. But we see him through the eyes of our leads - he wants an acolyte. There is no acolyte without Osha and Mae. Also why isn’t Manny being pushed in tandem with the actually lead of the show. As for Amandla not being invited to things like d23 or swcj (like Manny), I’ve seen people be like “well, they could just be taking a break considering all of the racist stuff that’s been hurled at them”. And like yeah maybe, but you’d think the people that employed them, would ya know say something about it. Especially considering that Amandla has been burdened with dealing with racist since like the age of 12.

But this is Disney and Star Wars and Lucasfilms where everyone outside of the main story gets treated like shit.

Now for the thing that I didn’t want to put out there before actual news of s2 - I’m sorry but I can’t help but feel like this is them pushing the black nonbinary lead out so they pluck parts of the acolyte for something else. Because while I don’t cruelty pass them (releasing this news on Manny’s birthday is vile), something about them dragging Manny out in particular to several events knowing they were canceling the show just doesn’t make sense? Nothing is set in stone obviously but now I’m seeing people talk about them highlighting Qimir and Darth Plagueis (literally who gives af about that hag) but gutting the story of anything else.

I hope no one takes this as me saying Manny hasn’t dealt with his fair share of shit. He’s been outspoken about how hard it is being a Filipino man in Hollywood. But at the end of the day, Qimir (and by extension Manny) being a mysterious double lightsaber wilding MALE sith gives him an element of protection Osha and Mae (and by virtue Amandla) don’t have as characters. Because notice how much of the ire with the shows casting is about the lead character(s) being black women.

Anyway this is just me rambling about something that’s been on my mind. Tbh I actually have hope that it won’t happen simply because I don’t see the creator/writers of the show being down with that. Also Manny has been vocal about supporting Amandla and not being able do this without them

[helenofblackthorns]

thinking about how Jace is Cordelia's descendant always throws my head into a loop like. what do you mean he's related to Mina through both Tessa and Jem 😭 his great great great grandma and first cousin four times removed married each other and had a kid and also adopted his 7th cousin...

[wikitpowers]

THEY’RE SUCH DORKS I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

[frummpets]

there isnt enough mbj and sy interaction and i think that theyd make quite the comedic duo actually

reverse transmigration au except mbj was brought to modern china and sy's working on getting him home.

idea from @Ci_lock on Twitter

✦ TWITTER VERSION