#to be fair it lives in my memory

[wowa-bublord]

In your au has Zack tried to get to Aerith at all and if not is there a reason?

I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED. If you asked Zack why he hasn't contacted Aerith, you would get a whole lot of excuses

And when Zack asks himself, he tends to make excuses too. It's been too long, it's not the right time, it's too dangerous to see her when he's unsure whether Shinra is still looking for him or not.

but I think, while Zack does genuinely think these things, these are reasons why he's hesitant to see her, the main reason is that he doesn't know if he's the same Zack she used to be with. Being on the run required him to hurt other people, other troopers, who- while they were after him, and it was self-defense- were soldiers just like he was. Possibly even young soldiers or child soldiers, judging by the how young the characters we know were when they joined. He feels as if he can't be the Zack he was when he knew her. That somewhere along the way, the person she loved died and he stole their place in life. Would the old Zack have killed so many people, while knowing that they were in the same situation he was?

Would Aerith still love him, knowing that he did?

he doesn't necessary love fighting. But he doesn't necessarily feel bad doing it, either.

[skitskatdacat63]

"To dream the impossible dream, that is my quest." - Prince Fernando of Asturias

+ Seb not getting what he ordered

+ the usual

Hello yes, look! It's baby Renault Fernando, isn't he so cute??? Who wouldn't want to force him into an arranged marriage, like cmon man be real. Here is the progress as usual, as well as his suit without the design, cause I'm pretty proud of it just blank even!

Okay so this is pure Fernando, innocent Fernando, before he had his apirations ripped way from him. Well not fully ripped away tbf, because that's the crux of his character: is it more humiliating to never succeed or to only succeed because someone handed it to you with concessions? I guess that's up for him to decide though ;;;

The thing I love about this drawing and young Fernando in general is how much easier it is to see his and Seb's similarities. Look how similar they look! Seb is just a bit more evil.

I think that's a big part as to why his feelings about Seb are so complicated. He both loves and hates how similar they are. From an egotistical point, he can appreciate and respect the familiar traits in Seb, the hunger, the exuberance, the pride, the ego. But also we hate seeing our own traits in other people, it's almost like turning a mirror on your worst traits and suddenly being able to see yourself from a new perspective. The biggest point here though is that Fernando turns that resentment onto Seb, as a way to clamp down on self hatred.

He becomes more bitter and resentful as he grows older, and loses a lot of his whimsy and joy. So it hurts him to see Seb, who in addition to getting everything he's ever wanted, also retain his whimsy. He, wrongly, just sees it as something that had to happen in order for him to grow up fully. It's more of a survival tactic, it started becoming unbefitting for him to have that level of unfounded confidence. That's the main reason he sees Seb as childish, immature and undeserving. He hasn't fully grown out of his capacity for whimsy and joy, and thus is below Fernando.

Well that was depressing oops! As the chibi art represents, this is probably a painting Seb got sent in the early days of planning their marriage. This is the Fernando who is still prideful, the Fernando who is still confident, the Fernando Seb vaguely remembers meeting his youth. Seeing this definitely pushes him even further towards the marriage(though tbf it's not like he even has a choice either.) Though when the time to actually start courting comes around, Fernando looks very uh different. This is both a joke about how different Fernando was in his first renault stint vs his second. But also I think he does show up very moody and disheveled, as a sort of last chance way to try and turn everyone on Seb's side, including Seb, off from the marriage. However, it's pretty much a done deal by that point.

Seb is uh, definitely confused, but I think he would be drawn to Fernando regardless. Actually, this might make Fernando even more appealing. Seb gets to push him all the time, try to break down his walls and get a glimpse at the real Fernando, if even just for a moment. Seb wishes he had more that just a blurry, vague recollection of Fernando at his peak confidence. Fernando definitely grows into something resembling his past self, after recovering from all the hurt, but there's just something about youthful exuberance that can't really be fully replicated.

Okay so about the quote. I went with Don Quixote this time instead of the typical Napoleon, because I thought it'd be funny. Fernando picks up the book at some point during his youth, and it inspires him a lot. He doesn't really see the satire in it, and comes to really admire Don Quixote's mentality, he's like "wow he never gives up! That's so admirable!" It definitely helps him through dark times to aspire to never give up no matter what. Though later Seb definitely rags on him for not knowing it was satire, and Fernando is like "wh-what do you mean satire?" But he's mentally strong enough atp for it to not cause his whole worldview collapse. About the quote specifically, there's definitely some part of him, even when young, that knows his aspirations are borderline impossible. I wonder if that part of him feels weirdly safe and comforted about the marriage. Yes, it's not ideal, but it's safe and secure. He gets what he wants, and there's no chance of anyone taking it away from him, no matter what.

I think his title would be Prince of Asturias? It was either that or duke, and I think prince fits him bettee(Machiavelli reference?) That title is currently the title for the heir to the Spanish throne. In this time period, it's also commonly used for the heir, but for Fernando it's a bit unsure. Like in real life, he's not directly the offspring, but he's still the most obvious choice for heir. But there's still enough room for Seb and his house to try to vie for the throne themselves, so it makes it all complicated.

[boyfridged]

see, the thing is that (up until countdown at least) there’s no symmetry in jay and bruce's respective ways of grieving.

jay is perpetually trapped in the bargaining stage of grief, trying to reach out to bruce from beyond death.

bruce is way past this. he has settled into a quiet, passive type of mourning, devoid of hope for a reunion. and to stay in this state, he had to necessarily disregard jay’s true image – an image of an earnest, bright child, his son. the memory of jay has been reconstructed in his mind a thousand times and sealed in a folder labeled as “soldier” (or even just a personal failure). it's ugly. it's unfair. it's a coping mechanism.

so to me, the issue isn't that bruce wants his dead, sweet little boy back – the issue is that he barely remembers him. if he did, maybe he would be willing to take a leap of faith and search for that person in jason who came back. but he's not even trying to reconcile the image of 15yo jay with red hood – or rather, maybe the image of a volatile kid that he created in his grief fits with the red hood a bit too accurately. maybe it's a bit too convenient. it works perfectly well for his own self-preservation and sanity, to think that jason has been doomed from the beginning.

jason, on the other hand, is cursed with remembering. one of the very sparse concepts that i found interesting in rhato was when in #3 (2011) jason chose to give up on his happiest memory – skipping patrol to watch a movie with bruce. maybe it's because recalling these tender, sweet moments is what gives him hope, and motivates him to keep bargaining and trying to reconcile with bruce. and bargaining with reality is exhausting. the readers and jay know that it's a lost cause – both because neither bruce nor jay are the same people anymore, but also because, ironically, batman, the symbol of hope, doesn't have any left when it comes to getting his son back. bruce, in his grief, essentially closed the door. jay, in his grief, is banging on them.

[yshtal]

when I was little I used to play clue with my sister and when I won by being like “okay YOU don’t have the candlestick and I don’t have the candlestick and there are no more cards, so it’s gotta be the candlestick” she would get really mad and tell me I was cheating because I wasn’t supposed to be making assumptions like that and she didn’t understand where I was getting the info from, so I was ruining the game for her

anyways I don’t rly get why people on twt are THAT mad about veilguard spoilers because they do not seem that deep

[kazumahashimoto]

NOW I CAN BREATHE, TURN MY INSIDES OUT, AND SMOTHER ME

WARM AND ALIVE, I'M ALL OVER YOU, WOULD YOU SMOTHER ME?

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

i love my family so much. @actuallylukedanes had plans to go with their spouse to the state fair yesterday, and i planned to use my alone time to work on projects. but when i idly mentioned that i wished i could go to the fair too, because smaller local fairs were an essential and literally-every-year part of my life growing up, my best friend said there was no reason i couldn't--and their spouse's reaction to the idea was to be enthusiastically in support.

these two people, my own chosen family, not only gave me a ride so i could enjoy the day, but spent as much of it with me as possible just because we could all have fun together. and they never once made it seem like i was crashing their couple time, and when i chose to try and walk the grounds rather than using a mobility device (like i do during zoo visits that make leander happy) they never once treated me like i couldn't handle it and enforce my own limits or like i was dragging everything down by needing breaks.

so this is just an appreciation post for my people, who were happy to invite me at the last minute for a day of sun and strangers and entertainment and curly fries and testing my limits. it was nice to be reminded that i'm capable of more than my everyday routine, and also to be reminded of the way i used to live, that i miss. spontaneous plans, and trading spoons for experiences without regretting it, and not assuming that i need to stay home while everyone else does things (or assuming that i should avoid being around two people who don't get a lot of time together, cuz i don't want to bother them).

yesterday was a really good day.

[sysig]

I am not immune to any cutes - including Rick and Morty cutes, unfortunately (Patreon)

[lonely--seeker]

I think I'm going insane. Lately my dreams have been so mundane, it wouldn't be weird if I wasn't just a person that has nightmares 80% of the time, so I now my dreams are so hard to distinguish from reality.

I wouldn't be able tell what was real from what not if it wasn't because last night I went to my doctor's appointment and I was handed new glasses by Harvey just to go back home and find out Laois was cooking something in my backyard.

[lovepotionnumber5]

had myself an ugly time rereading some good ol' 80s comics, which feature imho some of the most devastating pages in dc comics history. tl;dr, its after '85 crisis, meaning kara has died (dick giorlando you live up to your name) and has also been pretty much wiped from existence in very comics fashion. she doesn't appear in continuity from '85 crisis until 2001, i dont think--with one exception. christmas with the super-heros #2 (1989). my babygirl.

its not super complicated--each hero gets their own little story on how they spend their holiday, helping others (superman), feeling sad about robin (batman), let some rich guy pretend to be santa (hal and barry), and deadman possess a repo man to make him give money to the people he's hurt. he also sends some wine and presents to his old friends.

and he's lonely. no one can see him. what's the point? is misery the reward for his acts of good?

and if they were going to do crisis.......

why the FUCK didnt they at least give us something like this.

[lesbianchemicalplant]

cool thing learned from my father is that it actually is possible to mourn someone in a Wrong Way

[blitzgamev]

hi hey hello here are some of my fav spies are forever london bits in a random order :) i am going insane about this :)

Never done a read more! Surely this'll work first try!

- The Deadliest Man Alive stinger. Him coming back on stage just to say it again for the stinger was top tier and the fact Everyone looked into the audience when it played!!

- The fact they had enough cast now to have DMA stand there visibly not enjoy his time at the ball except when people talked about pulling toenails off??

- HOLY SHIT TORTURE TANGO HELLO

- No seriously doing an extra Owen there when Curt said it and not just having him to the lil pose but also walk across stage, look around, notice what's going on AND DOING THE GUN SHOOT WITH DMA HELLO CAN ANYONE HEAR ME

- The wolf whistle during That part of the stairway scene? Whoever did that is my hero that was hilarious

- Managed to get past the booking agent for the banana yippee

- Speaking of the emoting between Curt and Owen during the slow motion fall was top tier love these actors

- The DMA into Owen reveal was so funny because Owen walked on before The Line to stand behind DMA so you couldn't even hear it over people cheering and laughing

- The slow turn while Joey narrated and the little low walk for the trap door?? Top tier

- Vanger visibly cringing every time someone said something negative about the prince was hilarious but also the implication they aren't even trying to keep it down...

- Facial expressions! Some very very good ones between Curt and Tatiana in not so bad

- DMA being like "yeah I did that look how cool I am cheer for me" at Some Point I Don't Remember like I love how the actor played him

- The deafening cheering whenever Mama Mega showed up was the most based we ever got as an audience let's go Mama Mega

- This did lead to the cheering being so much that we didn't stop when Joey came on to do the scene transition and him having to go calm down guys just doing the next scene lol

- That was definitely not helped by the insanely funny Vanger bit to start act 2 like the cyber bullying in the 60s?? Every cosplayer (pog shoutouts btw) being him??

- The little acting choices Tatiana made in general?? The suspender bit in particular

- Speaking of acting choices. The Whole of Owen's appearance at the end felt like a performance for the audience to me and I need to know if that was A Choice or if I imagined it

- Seperate but related point but spies are forever reprise being on the programme... All I've ever needed now add it to the album smile

- Argh the staircase scene... To see that in person is to be alive I think. The shaking on the gun arm on That Bit. How close Owen looked and sounded to crying during the reprise. MOVING ON OKE KING

- Barb

- Did the informant just not die here??? Good for him maybe don't get into the song next time yeah?

- Curt hesitating to take the first shot is also gonna haunt me that's always been the one issue I had with one more shot

- All the little extra flourishes in the songs were very fun love actors making it their own

- The henchmen!! They lived! I don't know that tickles me no quick changes needed so they get to Vibe and giggle

- BARON'S DEATH SCENE "ouch my back *turns around* ouch my front ouch my self *dies" <- he bows after this btw

- Joey shouting out people who were at the matinee but not the evening show was not a planned bit I bet but it Was funny

- The band!!! Hearing overture In Real Life rewired my brain

- Also a shout out to the stage hand we cheered on before the show and act 2 started

- Everyone's faces but especially Tatiana when Sergio was doing the plead reprise were top tier "what are you DOING get away"

- YOU GOTTA y-you GOTTA :) the whole song was really good loved this Cynthia

- The one handed moves for eyes ii was necessary but also just fun

- Also DMA making curt move the whole chair over and him refusing for a while for realism

- HOW COULD I EVEN FOR A MOMENT FORGET DOING THIS TOP TIER SONG TOP TIER ACTING

- The way Curt kept sputtering and touching his lips way after Tatiana got over it and also agreed it was shit way more

- Prisoner of my past is haunting In Real Life holy shit

- One step ahead :) that one moment they kept getting closer to eachother until they did the hand thing again and it looked like Owen was leaning in completely to the hug. Hey you can't do that. I wish I remembered who pushed the other away to mirror the opening betrayal line

- The final pose was so so good to see I adore spy dance and getting to stand up and clap for it was an out of body moment (I hurt my ear cheering)

This turned into a non chronological recap of the show but whatever I wrote all the energy and memory out that I had so good night tri state area . tri london area

[abyssembraced]

Where did Ghost really go before returning to Hallownest ?

Frankly, the question that was asked of them was one that Ghost wouldn't mind knowing the answer to themself.

Their memories... Even their early ones from when they first returned to Hallownest were hazy and fragmented. The more challenging fights they'd faced in the Crossroads and their first encounters with the bugs they'd come to call their friends still existed in their mind, yet lay scattered and untethered from each other with unknowable gaps in between, with no certainties as to even the order in which any of the events occurred.

Before that? They knew hardly anything of their past.

What did they do in the vast, endless wasteland outside Hallownest? What caused them to return to the fallen kingdom? Why did they even leave it in the first place?

They didn't know.

They typically didn't care to think on those questions much, either—it made more sense to focus on the present, and the things they knew now, rather than dwell on an unrecoverable past. Yet, here they were, being asked to recount those lost memories.

They... Could at least make an attempt?

Grasping at those memories was hard. Though they knew for a fact that they had spent much of their life outside the kingdom's bounds, it was as though the memories of that time had never existed in the first place.

But... They could fight. Even before coming back to Hallownest, they already knew how to wield a nail. So, then... They must have met someone out there. Travellers, perhaps. Someone who taught them how to fight—or at least the basics of it, anyway. Perhaps they were even the one to gift them the nail that had since carried them through many battles, or maybe that was a different Someone.

But who? Ghost couldn't picture them. They didn't even know for sure that such a person had even existed, but it only made sense, right?

...

There was only one time that they had ever managed to recover a long thought lost memory, and that was with the Dream Nail. If they were to enter their own dream once more, unlock the hidden secrets within their own mind... Would that give them answers? Would it do anything at all?

Although... Did it even matter? The stranger's curiosities aside, they... Didn't particularly care about discovering their past. It wasn't as though whatever it was that had happened back then could be changed. Nor did they think that learning anything new about it would affect their present life. They were happy where they were right now, with their family and friends in the recovering Hallownest.

Yes.

They didn't remember what they did before their return to Hallownest, but that was okay.

[victorluvsalice]

-->And fortunately, when I did boot up the game and hit the old “Resume” button once the worst of the storm was over, everything was where I’d left it! :D I thus sent the trio over to the speaker in the pub to have a nice dance and chat together (with Smiler raving about non-exclusive relationships to Victor and showing off some sweet moves), before ending on some kisses (after Alice briefly ran off to the bar to get another wrench XD). I then sent Alice and Smiler out to look at the competition entries (Smiler praising Victor’s pie) while Victor finally got HIS drink from Sara the publican (only fair!). Once they’d gotten an eyeful, I had Alice go dig up a dirt pile I’d spotted looking around the area (turned out to be a mustache fossil – pretty sure they’ve got that already), while Smiler made friends with the mayor and (after a bit of combing through the menus – the Finchwick sidequests are under “Friendly” under “Activities,” everyone) offered to help with her errands. She offered them the choice between the “welcome to Henford-On-Bagley tour” (which, they’ve been living here for both in-game AND real-world years, I think they’re good XD) and “going around asking people if they’re the recipient of this package I put together and then forgot who it was supposed to be mailed to.” XD Smiler took the second and started meeting and greeting around the fair to see who the package belonged to. The mayor’s adopted son, grocery deliverer Rahul? Nope. Kim of the grocery stand? Nope, though they did learn that she’s a Foodie. Fellow fair competitor Thomas Watson? Nope. Sara behind the bar? Nope. Huh. Seems like tracking down the owner of this package is going to be a little tougher than Smiler or I thought! O.o

-->Anyway – while Smiler was making the rounds, I had Alice entertain herself by window-shopping at the various shops in the town square (shame that they don’t actually SELL anything without the help of mods), then play a few games on her phone after throwing away the rotten meat in her inventory (whoops – sorry Alice!). All while Victor had his drink, then (to stop him constantly going back for MORE drinks – I’m starting to think my trio has a juice problem) napped on a bench. He woke up in time for the end of the Fair though, and stood on the green while it all faded away around him, awaiting the results. A few moments later, he learned that he’d gotten a participation ribbon for the pie contest (aw) –

And first prize in the Oversized Crops contest! :D I mean, the mushroom was up against an equally-small lettuce, so it wasn’t MUCH of a victory, but I will take that ribbon! And the extra treats he got from winning – another pumpkin and chocolatey treat, and a spicy treat to boot. :D Nice. Now I just gotta remember to USE them…

[astro-b-o-y-d]

I clearly need to talk about it more, because it's one of my favorite game franchises of all time

[mejomonster]

Okay so 1 I love how intense shen wei is. He's like "I have followed you and learned everything about you and I KNOW I shouldn't be near you but I want to caress your beautiful face it will warm my ice cold flesh" (how vampire of you babe) "and despite the lies I desperate yearn to just tell you you're the reason" oh shen weiiiii

Meanwhile Zhao yunlan, really, should have SOME clue of his reincarnations I swear to fuck. Why? Cause if he went to pretty much any psychic, medium, tarot reader, or even a therapist... they'd point out fairly quickly "um sir? Why do you have like an absolutely irrationally large hatred for cycles? Every time someone mentions a circle you start raving about how endless cycles are fucking awful messed uo things. I asked if you'd like to live a different life And you just went OFF about how when we die we forget who we are and everything is LOST and what the fuck is the POINT if it's all gone... so I guess upside you're probably not a suicide risk since you're so anti dying but like? Why do you even believe in reincarnation, sir, if it makes you THIS pissed off?"

Zhao yunlan: "because it's fucked up! It's absolutely fucked okay?! You croak, and fuck everything you love and care about cause you don't even have your memories, and shit out of luck for them because they're remembering a bitch who you are NOT anymore and can never even be again like. What the FUCK. What the fuckkkkkkk. Its stupid. Absolutely beyond stupid. I mean figures right, ghosts hurting people is stupid and fucking annoying too, but that's the world right. So go figure the whole life death process is all stupid too."

"Um sir. Did you just say ghosts exist? Wanna.. talk about that?"

Zhao yunlan: "-.- not particularly" (currently seeing like 5 potential ghosts he wasn't sure if they were just other customers/patients, since he's seen dumb dead people his whole life. At least those fuckinf ghosts still maybe REMEMBER something and are still A LITTLE BIT THEMSELVES)

"Um sir. You said that aloud? The thing about ghosts remembering...??"

Zhao yunlan, shit eating smile: "no. I didn't. I didn't say anything." (Gaslight gatekeep girlboss) "oh LOOK at the time, i gotta go, I'm a workaholic you know! Bye~~"

"Wait! Uh. Sir... oh I hope he calls back for another visit mm..."

Zhao yunlans brain the second he remembers his WATCH is ROUND and life and death are CYCLES so anyway reincarnation is killing its a fucking piece of shit I'm going off on the next fucking government supervisor about my reincarnation Thoughts when they bother me. Win win, I vent, they don't get a word in edgewise to critique me.

Anyway my point is just. You'd think ANYONE he'd talk to who believes in past lives would be like "hey? Zhao yunlan? Have you considered maybe in your past life you REALLY wanted to remember or hold onto something and lost it and you were SO angry about it you manage to still be that angry now?"

And he'd completely miss the point made. He'd just jump right over it and be like "who cares who I WAS. This is me NOW, Zhao yunlan! And fuck any thing in the universe that thinks I'm letting THIS ME go. Fuck that. When I die, a long time from now (better be), I'm not forgetting SHIT mark my fucking words." (I'm gonna be a fucking lingering ghost with that attitude huh... oh no da qings gonna Claw me again -.- bastard)

[elegyofthemoon]

not hsr hi3 but im so excited for the day that hua shows up as an exp in hsr i hope we get to meet her instead of just READING about her just because there's so much potential about how hua may manage mara. i dont know enough about general hua but seeing the way that fu hua also manages her memories too and how she knows that despite the suffering, these memories are also what drives her forward and what allows her to understand her own identity, i also feel like there's some nice potential too about hua's management of mara. i guess it's something that jingyuan also faces too - given that he's lived for so long and faced so much loss yet has not been marastruck - but ;; w ;; huaaaa pleeaaaaaase

but also the way nuwa and fuxi both hope that fu hua will be able to let go of these memories and move forward - to forget ever being just a tool for dr mei and to live an ordinary life makes me so sad because losing nuwa and fuxi inevitably plays into how fu hua is now and just 😭😭😭