#to get away but now they're coming too
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please ignore this rant I'm just angry lol
#hi hello how have y'all been ive been Bad#got covid that made me feel like shit for two weeks#them got better but still feeling bad#I'm supposed to be having funnnn not laying in bed being sad#i want to get out of here so bad#my parents are planning on moving to a knew place#which is what i was planning on doing#to get away but now they're coming too#if it even happens. of course#ughh can't have shit in [redacted]#at least I'll leave behind so many things i want to escape from#I'll deal with my parents later ig#speaking of. we had a fight lol can you tell#just me pointing out something unfair they did and they taking it as an attack#they just ignore me and say some bullshit like 'we are trying to teach you life's not fair :('#yeah i fucking know nothing's been fair in my whole life#anywaysss#i have so much to day but not the words#i wanted to post art every friday but i can't bring myself to do anything unless im being forced to do it#so that'll have to wait#i hope things get better and I'm just feeling upset after a fight#tumblr let me edit tags challenge#there are so many typos here kdhfksfb#val's nonsense
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Btw if you come on holidays and stay at an AirBnb instead of an actual registered hotel I hate you personally. Not "I hate the gentrification and touristic massification and the way we can't live in our homes and are forced to move away because of tourism" in an abstract way- No, not just that. I hate you.
#I'm from a seaside town that has become popular with tourists who come for the beach and the mediterranean climate#and the typical whitewashed walls of mediterranean coastal towns#in just a few years the average rent has gone up so much that now the average rent id#*is over 1000€ per month#one thousand!#that's a whole salary!#in the past 2 years they've been building a new neighbourhood. they've destroyed the vinyeards to make a new neighbourhood that will make#the town 1/3 bigger than it is. that's a lot. but all those houses are luxury houses with private swimming pools for rich foreigners (we#already have 2 private British schools high schools and college(in the british sense)/baccalaureate where their kids go and never have to#interact with locals. I teach some of those kids and they're very prejudiced against locals and very bigoted against the catalan language#(which ofc they never bother to learn)#there's a law in catalonia that says that for every certain amount of houses you build you are obligated to build a certain percentage of#affordable housing. so in this new neighborhood they built the bare minumum affordable housing which is still too expensive for us#and since there's so few of them everyone is competing to get them. the city hall and the bank have had to make an official competition for#them but you only classify if the renr would not be more than 1/3rd of your salary which is impossible. my cousins who are in their mid 30s#and have been working a good qualified job for 15 years (and their partners too) are considered too poor to be considered for the#affordable housing#everyone is having to move out to other cities away from their friends and family and current jobs. the only jobs left here soon will be#mostly directed at tourists#and the only way to continue living here if you're a normal person and not rich is if you're an only child who one day might inherit the#parents' house#but we look around at what's happening in nearby cities and we see the next step which will be airbnb taking the houses that are left#in many places (I've posted about thia before) there aren't any flats for rent or sell anymore that isn't an airbnb#I'm still lucky in my town when compared to other places like Barcelona which are already full of the airbnb plague#actualitat#airbnb#tourism#touristic massification#gentrification
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Inktober 2022 Doodles (Batch 1/3)
(Notes at the end!)
1 - Scurry 🌙 Moon in full gremlin mode scurrying towards you using his hands would be no less than terrifying.
2 - Bat 🦇 Two bat friends from @oobbbear’s Bloody flora AU admiring something shiny.
3 - Bouquet 🌻 Sun and Moon tending to the shop from @daunsun’s flowershop AU.
4 - Dress-up 🎃🧙♂️ (Prompt from ronithesnail’s DCA Inktober list) Wizard sun loosely based from one of my aggie drawings back in June and well reaper Moon is always cool!
5 - Playtime/Domestic 🥓 Quick doodle of Sun making you a playful breakfast!
2022 Inktober batches: Batch 1 (You’re here!) - Batch 2 - Batch 3
- Notes -
Here’s the first batch of Inktober (Inkvember?) doodles! Some might be a little blurry (since I’ve took phone cam pics of these and bumped up the contrast) but hopefully they look fine.
As a heads up my Inktobers this year wouldn’t be strictly following the prompt lists, but when they are it’s a mix between the main prompts and the DCA prompt list from @ronithesnail. I’m also doing these casually meaning they’ll be way less than 31 but I should have enough for another batch or two!
Reminder - No reposting/colour reposting allowed!
#aquadoodles#inktober 2022#inktober#inky doodles#traditional doodles#fnaf#fnaf sb#daycare attendant#fnaf au#fanart#fnaf moon#fnaf sun#Inktober aka how many times can I sneak Sun and Moon into prompts#also a good opportunity to draw some neat au's I haven't had the time to make fanart for yet#they're not all going to be dca related but it's likely most of them are going to be lmao#Started these in October but now it's November so would this be Inkvember too?#more to come but I'll get these out while I'm chipping away at the next batch
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my cancelled-able trait from the queer community would be that i really apparently love messy endings. i love u happy endings and i also love u such sad, messy, ambiguous endings . . . i love u endings where u have this weird pit in the bottom of your stomach because you know that there's love here but u have no idea what to do with it and u just have to deal with the fact that someone is profoundly affecting your life and you're not gonna get closure from it anytime soon . . . i love u queer love stories where it's really just "u don't always get to see the sunshine and rainbows at the end of it . . . sometimes all that's left is just one big question mark and the quiet hope that they get their shit together" . . .
#caroline talks#don't get me wrong. i love u happy endings. esp when it comes to queer love stories#but i also just. love endings where it's just like. well. u DON'T know for certain whether the characters#are truly going to ride off into the sunset together.#the only thing u know for certain is that they love each other and that they're going to have to grapple with that forever.#maybe it's also just bc like. idk. i took too many film classes and so my head's forever stuck#on this one essay about how some really happy endings feel lifeless.#like how in some ending shots. the characters look like they've had their happy ending. but there's also some weird unease and confusion#and it's like. well yeah. because for every happy moment u get in life. u are still already thinking 'well what's next. what now.'#which is fascinating to me. but also me @ me: god maybe u can just be happy and it's not that deep.#but also. i do love the wonderful ambiguity of just. 'there is so much more to live. so much more to do.'#and i guess it's not just for queer love stories. i think a lot about the ending of my mister.#with lee ji an and park dong hoon walking away from each other but they're happy. u have no idea how their relationship will pan out but u#do know that they love each other.#or like. columbus. with jin and casey. they hug each other and thank each other for being in the other's lives.#and jin says goodbye to casey and casey says goodbye to jin and u have no idea if they'll see each other again. but u know they love each#other so very much. even if they'd only known each other for a second.#or like. beginners. anna and oliver love each other so much and u get this sense that. they're still a little bit uneasy/nervous about how#the rest of their lives are going to go. but they'll try.#or. god. the swearing jar.#the last shot. i think about it a lot.#there is love!!! but u don't always know how the rest of it is going to pan out!!! u just know that it'll pan out somehow!
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I feel like SV girlies haven't seriously considered "codependent mutually obsessive JuliNemo" yet and that's a shame, really. I've seen a lot of wholesome ChampionRank (really cute but a rehash of every wholesome yuri I've ever seen, not much original content here and that's okay) and one-sided obsessive yandere!Nemona ChampionRank (REALLY do not like the villainization of Nemona's neurodivergence but eh, you can do whatever you want forever) but not as much "these two get on like a house on fire. and boy, it's dry season" ChampionRank.
Where is "battle-hungry socially starved trainwrecks who have no one but each other" JuliNemo. Where is "oh god these two exacerbate each others issues into the stratosphere and this can only end in disaster but I can't look away" JuliNemo. Where is "bringing out the worst in each other and scaring the hoes" JuliNemo. Where is "you two are perfect for each other. Never change, just never involve anyone else in any of this" JuliNemo. There's so much potential here. Toxic codependent yuri save me
#pokémon#pokemon sv#championrankshipping#julinemo#babbles#my juliana is such a mess#she does not make friends easily and can't keep relationships for long at all#whenever someone enters her life she aants to make the best impression so she lovebombs them incessantly#and that either comes across as too much too fast or causes people to get too attached.#but she's young. she is very young. and the people who bothered to match her energy had ulterior motives#so now she's too afraid of getting too close to someone#she'll act the part but never show her true self#and at the slightest hint of genuine connection she'll RUN.#this of course clashes horribly with Nemona's own overbearing personality and loneliness#you know how she wants you to be her ideal rival. and you end up becoming exactly that.#yeah to my Juliana this was kind of a nightmare because. as much as this toed her boundaries#she isn't so inept as to not recognize a bit of herself in Nemona. so she decided to ride this out and appease her#and UH OH! she got attached. fear and need for control and validation from feeling wanted mixed in her head#and she started matching Nemona's energy and the two jumped into dating too fast and oops. they're codependent now#they literally can't handle being away from each other for more than two days or they start going feral#i wish i had the energy to write this one because i'm fascinated by this horrible dynamic. i want to study them in a rat maze#edit: i feel like i should clarify that this interpretation relies on Florian existing and being the one to help Penny and Arven#Florian isn't without his issues. he's a huge people pleaser too. but he's more of a doormat who can't say no
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everyone prioritizes their family and that means even extended chacha ke chacha fufa ke tau etc and i can't even prioritize my sagi one i hate myself
#and its not that they're bad or anything#but im such a people pleaser i feel validation from strangers is more important than family#its because maybe ive watched them too closely and nothing about them fascinates me anymore i know the pattern#and my fun is meeting new people cracking the code#but still#i hate that people will cut your calls leave your message unread kyunki aaj poora din bua mausi aaye the#wish i was that focused on my relatives#ill literally text call anyone even in a middle of a fucking apocalypse#idk yall should tell me if im doing something wrong do yall keep your phones away and forget to text your friends#but i can't focus one thing for too long i cannot physically see messages decking up and not reply#i hate this#do people simply not check. there phone as often or am i an addict#or have i still not learnt to be in the moment#and tomorrow night i leave for home and my friends have planned a meet up#now frn 1 comes to home for one month in her holidays so giving one day or even two days to friends doesn't matter#frn 2 lives in hometown so there's no problem but mind you if she comes she has to leave in 2 minutes because her mom calls every five#minutes just to get her back to home for nothing#frn 3 comes home same as me aka 4-5 days so giving 1 day to friends is parents saying tumhe hamse matlab nahi hai tyohaar mei bhi har baar#milne jaana hota hai#etc#but im home past 4 days ivd literally done nothing papa bhai se utni hi baat hui jitni phone par ho jaati hai#haan for mummy i spent time with her#but most of the time i was on tumblr or scrolling insta to kya hi matlab hua mere ghar aane ka#that means unhe bas meri physical presence chahiye#na ghar par bua aayi na mama na koi#lekin ab kal mujhe jaana hai to kal mama aa jaayenge#why are things this way
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i can never take nickel and balloon's conflict fully seriously even if they make up and apologize to each other etc because the whole time im just imagining that comic of baseball and suitcase going back to hotel oj after season 2 and seeing that nickel and balloon are #besties now meanwhile suitcase had a psychotic break over their bullshit 😭😭
#regardless of what nickel did to balloon they NEED to apologize to suitcase for putting her through the Literal actual horrors#she's gonna come back to hotel oj see that they're friends now and start beating nickel's ass and i dont blame her even a little bit tbh!#i love nickel as a character but bro fucked up w/ suitcase#and bcuz she's stuck in season 2 purgatory there's no way for that arc to get closure right now so im just like#well we're all forgeting to apologizr to SOMEBODY arent we!!!#baseball too i wish i knew how to fix this. baseball you cant fix this it doesnt just go away but you're here you're listening so thanks :)#i mean im sure they've got their own bullshit going on in s2 right now not a doubt in my mind. nickel is not suitcase's most important issue#atm they're about to get killed by robots built for actual literal genocide FJDMDMDKSJS#txt#inanimate insanity
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- Marten & Nohren -
#digital art#illustration#art#cowboys#original characters#my art#thought I might as well slap some colour on this now since i'll be away this week#i've got so many ideas floating around my head for story stuff I want to draw for these two#i've been writing them for almost a year now and i have a bunch of different AUs i'm excited to make designs for#the outlaws AU is one of my favourites though#excited to see how their designs change as i get more confident with drawing people#i'm not gonna info dump about them too much i think. I'll probably just let the story unfold trough the illustrations etc#cause idk if anyone's interested in the story stuff. i'm happy to answer if anyone asks stuff though#but the short version is that they grew up in the same town but didn't really get to know each other until later#Marten has a bad accident that leaves him bedridden for over a year while his father hides his condition out of shame#so Nohren takes a job as a hand at their ranch and figures out which room they're keeping Marten locked in#they become good friends and Nohren visits him in secret for almost two years while helping Marten regain some mobility#they take up the outlaw life after Nohren is seen with another man in town and decides he's better off getting out of dodge#Marten is torn about leaving the ranch behind but he comes along eventually#that's the very basic gist of it#they good kiddos#Marten#Nohren#Outlaws AU
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You've heard of [person/character/show/story/media/art] living rent free in your head right?
Now get ready for: that, but each is a little bird in the nest of you mind, some birds are there for a long time and some just a little while, as they come and go and theres some you feed more than others
And it's not until you realize that suddenly "theres less birds here" "where'd the other babies go?" That the bird you started to feed a couple days ago is Cuckoo bird
#(Metaphor for when you have a new special interest that suddenly takes over your brain-#that you cant even focus on other things that used to live rent free in you brain because it's all [CUCKOO] now)#Sometimes theres multiple birds that get along okay (I can focus on each without distracting from the others)#with maybe a favorite of the bunch#but I switch between them fine#And often there will be a new bird that visits for a bit before flying away#And other times a new bird just comes in all of a sudden and takes over#But most of the time. I think it's just a new bird to visit for a little while#and then suddenly it's the only one in the nest#Where my other babies go? Whyd you push them out?? Yet I dont stop feeding the cuckoo. I cant. I have to feed the baby#Anyway. Tmnt is a cuckoo but there is now another cuckoo in the nest and they're fighting#We'll see if the new one manages to push tmnt out or if tmnt will regain the upper hand#The 'new' cuckoo has actually been here before. But it had been well over 4 years since it was the leader of the nest#And almost a year and half since it visited . (So it's been building strength since and came back with a vengeance lol)#I'm taking the metaphor too far#I'll shut up now#Midnight rambling#It is 2:30 am#living rent free in my head
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lwaxodo but yuri
#lwaxodo but an AU where my None Gender Left Girl odo headcanon is real and lwaxana may not be able to read his mind or anything#but still picks up on it because uhh i'm making it part of this AU now that deanna is trans. so lwaxana sees some familiar Signs#and she helps odo realize it#i mean she was like the first person to really love and understand and accept odo for who he is#i think she understands a little bit more than he's able to y'know. even without the use of telepathy#anyway imagine if they had more than 3 episodes together and lwaxana comes back with a gift for odo#as thanks for helping her get out of her last marriage and keep her baby. which he says is unnecessary but she insists#and it's this beautiful shimmering gold dress. she knows he doesn't need clothes because he can just shapeshift them#but she says it made her think of him. the real him. gold and sparkling and beautiful#and he's so touched by it. he's never thought of himself as beautiful in any form but he has no doubt that she sincerely means it#ough. anyway. i got carried away with these tags#they're cute. i love their friendship and i wish we got to see more of it#they're so cute as a couple too tho i know lwaxana accepted that odo doesn't feel that way about her#they're still very important to each other. like it may not be romance but it's deeper than friendship. i love them. we deserved more
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You know how they says babies have to look away from people so they don't get overwhelmed by emotion? Lately some books are making me feel like that. It could be happy or sad or some other mix of emotions, and it doesn't even have to be anything profound. It's just that for whatever reason this arrangement of ideas and images sparks too many emotions at once and I have to look away for a while so I don't explode. Anyway, Elizabeth Goudge is becoming a top offender.
#the dean's watch#it took me a bit to get into it but now i'm hooked#but i can only read short pieces at a time#i had to go away and nap during the latest scene because it was making me too crazy#the dean fears his watch because of his father! just like isaac fears the church because of *his* father!#but the dean loves the church and isaac loves the watch and so they're coming together and each one's love could help cast out that fear!!!#and that all came from the one line mentioning the dean's father's use of the watch#so you can imagine the kind of strain i am under#books#elizabeth goudge#random thought of the day
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I'm so tired of dealing with my in-laws. They are making Christmas hell for like the third year running and I could deal with it when it was just me and my husband, but with a grandchild in the mix, I MIGHT just snap.
#erin vents#planning anything with them is impossibly difficult#there's ONE thing my kid asked to do this christmas (zoo lights)#and they were supposed to come with us but now they've come up with excuses not to go#and we're not even going to see them christmas eve or christmas day because again....they're making it too difficult#growing up christmas was always about time spent with family and getting any time with them is like pulling teeth#we've done more stuff with my mom and she lives a five hour plane ride away#i just want my child to have memories with them that are more than just presents uggghhhh
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bisexual bobby. i'm right.
#ok so let me paint the scene: it's bobby's college years. he's been roommates with this guy idk lets call him derek for a few months now.#they INSTANTLY clicked yk? and bobby's been feeling weird around derek but he jots in down to the thrill of having a new friend (he#experienced this before w his middle school bsf but never figured out why) and anyway when derek comes out to him he's like 'woah why am i#literally about to float out of my skin with happiness???' and he ponders about that for a bit and THEN we get the classic#practice kissing trope where they're like 'hahab wouldn't be fun to see hahaba' and anyway so they do that and bobby's like 'OH' so he#kinda distances himself away from derek cause he's like 'if he liked me he would've said smth' while derek OBVIOUSLY likes him and he's#hurt and confused about bobby not talking to him so he's like 'listen i really didn't mean to make u uncomfortable and i think it's best#that i move out' and bobby is like too shocked to say anything so derek takes that as his cue to leave and then they see each other in#hallways and basically yearn for each other for the rest of college#damn bro wrote a whole lore and everything#sorry im really passionate about this for no reason at all u dont have to read all that#bobby nash#911 fox#911 show#911 headcanons#bisexual
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One of those days
#I feel like every time I go anywhere everyone around stares at me like they hate me or they're scared of me#between that and the wwgg debacle I feel like I'm actually going to go insane#everyone in the world wants nothing to do with me#I want to just stay inside and rot#and my birthday is coming up in a few days amd that's just a huge reminder that I pissed my life away#and now I probably will never get to move on from this place#cuz my folks are both in poor health and have no support network to speak of#plus that weird shit that happened with my eye last year has been going on for a few days#it feels like there's something serious wrong with my brain#cuz there's other concerning stuff too#but again I'm kind of in limbo with insurance so#idk#I'm just gonna sleep it off
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anyway. can't wait for puen and talay to find each other again and for talay to keep his word and greet puen with an 'ai'dang' and for puen to realize talay is finally back and look at him with a love so deep and encompassing it strikes you almost like a physical blow to the gut <3
#vice versa is so good with parallels i know they're gonna come through with it#also is it obvious that im trying so very hard not to think about them being separated?#the worst part is that im pretty sure we're gonna have to wait for episode 12 to see them together again#which is probably going to cause me irreparable damages#also i wonder if 1) tun is gonna tell talay puen's name since he has no reason to keep it from him#2) if tess is gonna be kind of an asshole to puen and drive him away#as in.. puen would probably want to be around tess to wait for talay to come back and i don't think tess is gonna be too happy about it#so i wonder if he's gonna throw back in puen's face the fact that talay not being back clearly means they're not each other's portkeys#hence not meant to be together#so when talay gets back it's still gonna take a while for them to reunite#anyway.. gonna disappear for a while now goodbye#vice versa#vice versa the series#puentalay#m: txt
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Hey y'all!!
.
#how to never stop being sad#Time has proven that fooling yourself into believing a lie is the most effective way to deal with things you have no control over#keep listening to the mixtapes they made you#overanalyze every single word you hear#Was this a sign that things were going wrong no no you were the one that cared too hard not them#Stay up every single night staring at your phone either attempting to gather up the courage to turn these demons#these constant reminders of your loneliness into nothing more than a bad dream#Or praying just for one second you could feel the warmth of equally returned love#Go out for coffee four times a week by yourself always bring your notebook#never stop writing#Leave little comics and thank you notes with your tip watch them smile as you get in your car#Talk down on yourself whenever possible#my life is shit because I deserve it#right? You must have done something real bad its nearly impossible for you to cry now#Avoid your friends for weeks even though they're the only sense of consistency you have left in your life#if they really wantedTo see you they'd come#but they won't#Allow yourself to lose interest in the things you love#watch as you begin to take a backseat to the world around you#don't fight it become a secondary character in your own motion picture#But most importantly drown every single one of your feelings in old stolen rum learn to love the taste of it dripping down your throat#find comfort in the warmth coming from your stomach#You're drinking bottled love now you don't need other people to drive away your loneliness you just needed to find a way to talk to it
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