#to me Speak Now is THE album and is rewinding my brain exactly like it did 13 years ago

[orikeel]

Listening to Mean (Taylor’s version) and realizing that it’s indeed been 13 years but really I’m now living in a big ol’ city and all they’ve ever been is mean

[deuce-duce]

Am I...?? (Inwardly GASPS)!! Which Part...??

Today is March 2nd 2021 and I got my puter back and went to look at what I had last written on December 16th 2020. When I opened the file, it had been changed… dates had been obscured and certain things had been reworded… So… I have decided to go back through all of my previous posts to ensure the integrity of what I am writing stays that way! During this process I will be putting together a collection of my favorite quotes and post fragments. Which I will dub Rock and Roll’s Greatest Hits, if you live near me go buy airhorns Ill tell you why, When the greatest hits album comes out. What your about to read is primarily from Dec. 16th with a few changes or should I say… restorations?? Probably a little of both to be honest. Everything is still as it happened, I just add better descriptive words and fine tune the analogies so that they are easier to digest… My English teacher always told me that was what I was good at! Along with many others… who have said the same… not only do I understand it… I’m able to explain it in a way that others understand as well. ENJOY

On the seventh of December I woke up not too sure if something had occurred that night or not… as I have mentioned before they use a numbing agent that basically masks the pain until it wears off approximately 12 hours later… When I a woke on this day I was having moments of clarity and for some reason just couldn’t keep them to myself. talking to one of the staff members of the homeless shelter I expressed my destiny that I actually had one, that was going to bring me to greatness… then out of nowhere I just blurted out there is going to be a power shift!!!! And at that very moment I couldn’t believe what it was that had just come out of my mouth. I didn’t even believe it at first because the guy at the desk was like IDK… about… that… but when I went back into my room, the look on my roommate’s face said it all!! It seems as though those who pull strings and orchestrate a lot of this… put all of their eggs into one basket. I don’t know exactly what the terms of thee bet were but I’m assuming it had/has something to do with me not being able to control my compulsivity associated with my dissociation. Unfortunately for them I made a deal with God. It was while I was on quarantine and even though I was in a basement all by myself people kept F$%^&*!> with me. This is when I prayed stating that I would not falter, for my body his temple his craft and his glory. that I need to take care of myself and my destiny, for it is in his hands and I won’t let my selfishness or imperfections stop him from fulfilling his plan. Over and over again I have cried and cried about how fundamental and powerful this is all going to be. EFFIN CRAZY!! And now that I know without anyone telling me and it literally being given to me somehow is what is freaking everybody out. How do I know or how the hell did I figure it out!! I really couldn’t tell you and the only thing that is possible is that our Creator endowed me with such responsibility. Crazy!! (this was before I considered the probability of God being a woman, A mother, A Lover)

Low and behold one of my favorite artists Mr. Kid, Maniac, Rager, Wizard, Pursuer of Happiness Cudi dropped a new album entitled Man on the MOON Three. Ill have to say it’s a wonderfully made album! The album delves deep into who Scott is… I know the Fans are going to love it.

Rewind a little bit sorry for my hiatus just needed to stay focused and well as your aware have been led here not by accident and had some things that I needed to take care of before I started writing again. Not to mention I have been dealing with a lot only to know that I am who I am for a reason Rockstar Knights off MOTM3 has a lot to say concerning who I am and what I have realized as a result to my struggle. The Song is a collab with Trippie Redd and really encapsulates so much, that its hard to describe in words.

I had a very interesting conversation with my mother the other day and came to a pretty profound thought. 1st I was telling her how I was being told that I am too….!!! Smart!! Like WTF!! REALLY!! Is that even a thing?? But I didn’t let it get to me too much as it probably is the reason I face so much adversity, No matter the community I enter into. This is how I have explained it to her and a couple other people in the community as well as the Rasta Man in the PNW. The best analogy I could present is if a plant with a fire burning so big and so hot on one side of the plant, a fire so big and hot that it probably would kill most other plants, but not this plant. This plant had sooooo much drive and will to live that instead of giving up it grew in the opposite direction of the blaze. While the roots could withstand the blazing inferno becoming one with the heat and pain Upon the journey away from the fire (society) the plant developed different characteristics colors and attributes that no other plant had. Essentially that journey completely changed that plants physiology Psychology and possible its genetic makeup altogether. Now that the plant has grown so far from the fire (Society) that its all alone. Now theres a different kind of fire where he once thought was safe. But as he grows back towards the fire to escape the new blaze (tyranny) he realizes he will never be able to be the same as the fire he grew so far away from. Now the only option the plant has with death being imminent is to grow as big and bright as quickly as possible before it is engulfed on all sides.

All this taken into account along with factoring in the two major belief structures in the world one Being Creation or Evolution (The Big BANG) this plant which has defied all odds still shines brightly displaying its colors and unique characteristics no matter how dark the room may be it still continues to bloom! Is this a Divine will and plan or are we experiencing the next step of Evolution??? My honest opinion is its both! For the mere ability to adapt and change and prevail in situations others couldn’t dream of or even have nightmares about is truly remarkable and in my eyes is an act of GOD! Just as any evolutionary step would be. The crazier part is… he has no handle!! Nothing to grab on to leaving no way for anyone to grab hold and control! AYE….

I thought this all might just be me being stubborn or simply an idiot until for some reason I opened up my meme App. Something I never open or even look at and the first thing that popped up was a picture and quote saying that many told Marilyn Monroe that she was only beautiful because of the clothes and dresses she wore. It then concluded Marilyn Monroe did a photoshoot in nothing but a burlap potato sack. The photos and the message she sent were completely opposite of that which was being said by spectators. Now!! As scrolled to the second meme I was expecting something funny!! That wasn’t the case what I saw next was the upcoming alignment of the two largest planets in the solar system Jupiter and Saturn. Not only does their alignment happen only every 20 years but the proximity of this occurrence to the earth as well as the proximity to each other hasn’t been the same for close to 800 years… What does it all mean… IDK but The Christmas Star is what their calling the alignment and if your familiar with the bible is the star that the kings, from other lands followed  to bring gifts to baby JESUS! Who knows what this alignment could usher in.?

So profound thought comes to me on a daily basis now it’s so strange the way that it comes it will just be momentary thoughts that will pass through my conscience and as they go by I latch on to it delve a little deeper and experience an overwhelming amount of… IDK what to call it but it feels very powerful so much so that it brings me to tears… I don’t know exactly what the future holds but I think that is what makes this so great! I just keep my mind open Like apple IOS Systems letting everything come and go as it pleases when something goes by that strikes me, I latch on and don’t let go. Its weird how it all happens.

Steve Jobs once said that if he had never had an acid trip that he would have never of come up with the operating system for Apple and after explaining to you what I do as a spiritual and destiny seeking process I believe was his thought process as well. This in of itself is what I think they mean when they say to keep an open mind. Just so you know I didn’t come up with that little bit about the late Mr. Jobs by plan it just came to me when thinking about how to have, use and keep an open mind.

The reason I explained this to you was because this is how I Pray! After I pray I sit still with an open mind allowing multiple ideas thoughts and perspectives to pass through my brain… until like an IOS operating system, something speaks to me… when I latch on to it, focus on what it means and what it will mean… “I Get Those Goosebumps Everytime” (Goosebumps, Travis Scott, feat. Kendrick Lamar, Birds in the Trap Sing Mcknight, 2016). This is how you know! A little extra for ya, when I went to look up the info for my first Hip Hop citation it was 11:11 lol there they go again… its really a cool feeling!

Can someone tell me if that APA or MLA…?? Ya know what!! Eff IT!! None of my writing is orthodox, besides I kinda like the way I did it haha

Kid Cudi’s new video just dropped and I couldn’t be more amazed with all of the hidden messages that are in there. He is officially the man on the moon. Passion pain and demon slaying like a maniac on the pursuit of happiness. Love that DUDE!!

That’s all I got for 12-16-2020 Five More Days…

LOVE & PEACE

Songs

Heaven On Earth – Kid Cudi

Goosebumps – Travis Scott, feat. Kendrick Lamar

Dirty Heads – Sound Of Change

 Just so you know the only thing I added this time other the cleaning up what I had already written was the praying part. Although I originally remember that being the purpose as to why I wrote what I did looking at it today March 2nd 2021 it wasn’t there… have a great day everyone. Ill post this on 3/3/2021

I've added parts to the story on my business cards and will leave then random places, what you do with them is up to you but I think It would be cool for those who want to stop me to have to work extra hard just like they make me!!  

LOVE

[loversoon]

once in a lifetime.

hi! welcome to my first fic, i hope you enjoy this one. <3

word count: 1,208 of pure sadness and angst.

-

Perhaps he could've done better. If someone invented a rewind machine right now, he knows he'd be the first to use it. The look on her face once the unintended words came out was enough to haunt him in his dreams. Not enough apologies could fix the sorrow and the hurt kept in the gaze he'd grown to love so much.

Now he lays lifelessly, the gentle whirring of the ceiling fan above him being the only sound inside the lifeless flat that used to exude love and joy. Rain softly pattering outside, the plants that adorned his windowsill dead. Eyelashes fluttering as he kept his gaze solely on the side of the bed where his lover used to lay. His brain flashing memories of when times used to be simpler, of when times used to be happier.

"I just don't know how you can keep up with me... I mean... I can't even support myself, love," Roger frowns, Y/N takes both of his hands, soft and small ones easily gliding into his as if hers were specifically made for his. "Nothing's ever gonna stop me from loving you, Rog," she smiles reassuringly, "No one can, and no one ever will stop me from loving you."

That was back when all they had was each other, back when all they needed was each other. Time changed, and with enough love and support Y/N has nourished him with, enough reassurance and 'you'll make it's, he found himself winning. He'd become a part of a band that he knew would make him the musician he's always dreamed of being. Enough copies of their first album were sold to get the bills paid and at least a few bags of groceries to fill their refrigerator.

He remembers the joy that filled her eyes when he'd told her the success he was finally receiving, the look of immense pride that they held. "I always knew you'd make it, my love."

But now he found himself wishing he could take everything back, wishing he could go back to the days when his stomach rumbled because he hasn't eaten something over the course of eight hours, back to the days when he swam in student debt, and back when worries of eviction filled his mind because he just couldn't see how this month's paycheck would be enough to pay everything that needed to be paid. Because at least he had her. At least she was still there to be a shoulder to cry on when he found himself stressed to the point where no words came out of his mouth, but tears strung down his eyes instead, there to tell him that she knows somewhere deep down inside her, that he'll make it.

Cause once in a lifetime, everything was okay. Everything felt right.

"One day I'm gonna buy you a house, I'm gonna buy you a nice car," Roger smiled down at her as she caught her breath, rolling to his side of the bed, she laid herself on his sweaty chest as the sound of his heartbeat thumping filled her ears. Roger threw an arm around her shoulder, holding her tight and snug against him. "Is that so?" Y/N giggled, the sound causing a large amount of love and adoration to course through his veins. Roger found himself smiling as his thumb caressed her shoulder, "I'll buy you all of England if you want me to." he joked. Y/N looked up at him with wide eyes and a dopey smile, "I don't need all of England, I just need you."

But along with the leaves of autumn, she left. He remembers the argument that happened months prior so vividly. The moment forever engraved in his mind.

It all started with a mini argument in the car over a silly misunderstood situation. It could've been easily sorted out with a few words of reassurance but somehow, either of the young lovers seemed to be bothered enough to lower their pride and let the argument drift away. Words which were not meant and shouldn't be coming out of a lover's mouth were thrown around recklessly, the young couple seemed to be too deep into the argument to even settle things and move on.

It was dangerous really, driving around with a temper that was too hot wasn't exactly a smart choice. But as more accusatory words came out of Y/N's mouth, Roger found himself to be too infuriated to even think straight.

They were at a party. A big one in fact, and the nature of parties weren't really in Y/N's favor. Don't get her wrong, she does enjoy her fair share of parties here and there, but she wasn't a fan of big ones hosted on work nights.

"Roger, I saw you with her! With my own two eyes! I don't see why you're still trying to defend yourself," she huffed, brows furrowed and arms crossed across her chest. "I figured after years of being together you'd trust me!" He raises his voice, "I do trust you, Roger, I don't trust people around you however!" She retorts, "Why? Because you know you'll never be good enough?" He screams, pulling to the side of the road. "You know that's not what I meant, Roger, I don't even know how you got to that!"

"Maybe you're right! Maybe I did kiss her," Y/N's eyes widened as she looked at him with pure disbelief and betrayal written all across her face. "You know what? Get out of my car." He growled angrily, "But, we're in the middle of nowhere Roger! I don't even know where the hell we are!" Y/N speaks in a rushed tone, "I don't care Y/N, just get the hell out of my car right this damn second." He glares at her, Y/N looked at him with the eyes that he fell in love with, the love all washed out and replaced with sorrow and anger. Y/N huffs as she proceeds to take her seat belt off and clicking the door open, "Go to hell, Roger," she spoke harshly before she kicked his car door shut. Y/N watched as the classic black Porsche drive into the distance.

Little did Roger know, that would be their last conversation, and with last words spoken out of spite, Roger found himself pondering how he could've handled the situation better. Maybe he could've been laying with her now, and maybe what happened that night would've been just a nightmare, where he'd wake up and find the love of his life snuggled into his chest. He'll never know how the night ended for her, but all he does know is he's forever lost his person just because of an impulse decision made in the heat of the moment.

Maybe it was the sparkle in her eyes, or the wondrous sound that spills from her cherry lips, maybe it was the the soft voice that he'd often wake up to, or even how touchable her fingertips felt, he doesn't know, all he knows is he just wants it all back. He eyes the telephone hanging off the bedside table, weighing his decisions, he knows he’ll never get a response back. Chances come once in a lifetime, and he'd just lost his.

-

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[angsty-nerd]

Okay, so I wanna talk about Mumford & Sons.

I just drove 2 hours from Sacramento to the Bay Area and I listened to their first 2 albums back to back for most of the drive. I haven't done that in a really long time.  It was like revisiting an old friend. And it gave me a lot to think about, so I thought I'd write about it.

You see, Mumford is probably my favorite band of the last decade or so. There's something about them that just speaks to me and I don't know if I can fully explain it.  But they make me feel the feels, as I like to say.  But they do it, like, a LOT for me.

I'm going to see them in concert tonight for the 6th time.  It took me a lot of mental rewinding and replaying of my past decade to try to figure that number out.  The positive? I’ve never seen them at the same venue twice. The negative? All 5 times prior to today were with the ex-best friend. Probably one of the reasons I haven’t listened to them much lately. Because ever since she dropped me like a hot potato on my little brother's birthday in 2016, I’ve associated them with that friendship and it’s been kinda rough.

But here we go... beneath the cut is my concert history, followed by pretty much my RNM/Echo obsessed brain filter listening to these albums for the first time in ages...

April 2011 - Middle Harbor Shoreline Park, Oakland CA.  This may have been their first big US tour...the Railroad Revival Tour. They did the entire tour by historic train (I sort of remember an Airstream engine?) and all venues were adjacent to railroad tracks.  I’ve never heard of another show happening at this park, which is a crying shame, because it was a BEAUTIFUL venue for an outdoor show - directly across the Bay from San Francisco with the sun setting behind the City skyline throughout the show.

August 2012 - Monterey County Fairgrounds, Monterey CA.  This was the first Gentlemen of the Road tour...a huge festival and fair with rides and everything. It was a hell of a spectacle...in a historic venue. When I think of this show I remember all of the bands flipping out about the burn mark on the stage from when Jimi Hendrix burned his guitar there.

November 2012 - The Hollywood Bowl, Los Angeles, CA. Unless you’ve spent significant time in L.A., I’m gonna guess you’ve never been to the Hollywood Bowl.  It sorta just seems like any other huge venue at first, but when the music starts, I dunno...there’s something different about it. The sound quality is amazing, bands are friggin thrilled to be there...it’s just magical this was my 2nd time going to a show there, and I have posters from both of them to remember them by because they were just that incredible of shows to remember.  Easily my best Mumford experience.

May 2013 - The Greek Theater, Berkeley CA.  This was my favorite band at my favorite outdoor venue, about half the capacity of anywhere else I’ve ever seen them.  Which made it feel almost intimate. I liked that.

August 2015 - The Forum, Inglewood CA (aka, L.A. again).  This was the first and only time (before today) that I saw them indoors. I remember swearing that they need open air and to never do that again. Except that I am today. This show kinda broke my heart though. It was when things were getting weird with my friend, and after the show she told me she was done seeing them in concert.  But the next day she hopped on a plane home and I went to San Diego for a few days by myself and had an absolute blast there, so boo on her.

Tonight I am going to see them at Chase Center in San Francisco — the Warriors new arena. Steph Curry has yet to even play a game there! It’s been 4 years, 1 month, and 1 day since the last time I saw them. I had the hardest time trying to find someone to go with me, which gave me some feels, but in the end I’m taking a high school friend that I’ve reconnected with.  I barely know their new album, sadly. I hope I take some love away from the show tonight for it.

The last thought of these rambles? I don’t think of them as particularly shippy, or easy to associate with any fandom type stuff, because their style is so specific...literary and history and all sorts of old timey imagery.  But driving to the Bay today? I kept hearing little bits of Echo all throughout this stuff.  Maybe not whole songs, but bits and pieces…

Love that will not betray you, dismay or enslave you

It will set you free

Be more like the man you were made to be

-sigh no more

It seems that all my bridges have been burned

But you say ‘That’s exactly how this grace thing works’

It’s not the long walk home that will change this heart

But the welcome I receive with every start

Darkness is a harsh term don’t you think

Yet it dominates the things I see

Stars hide your fires

For these here are my desires

I won’t give them up to you this time around

And so I’ll be found

With my stake stuck in the ground

Marking the territory of this newly impassioned soul

-Roll Away Your Stone.

Tell me now where was my fault

In loving you with my whole heart

Lead me to the truth and I

Will follow you with my whole life

-white blank page

Rip the earth in two with your mind

Seal the urge which ensues with brass wires

I never meant you any harm

But your tears feel warm as they fall on my forearms

But close my eyes for a while

Force from the world a patient smile

-I gave you all

How fickle my heart and how woozy my eyes

I struggle to find any truth in your lies

And now my heart stumbles on things I don’t know

My weakness I feel I must finally show

-awake my soul

Press my nose up to the glass around your heart

I should have known I was weaker from the start

You’ll build your walls and I will play my bloody part

To tear, tear them down

-Babel

I will wait for you.*shrugs* enough said?

There is no drink or drug I’ve tried

To rid the curse of these lover’s eyes

I feel numb beneath her tongue

Her strength just makes me feel less strong

But do not ask the price I pay

I must live with my quiet rage

Tame the ghosts in my head

That run wild and wish me dead…

Let me die where I lie

Beneath the curse of my lover’s eyes

-Lover’s Eyes

I won’t hear you cry when I’m gone

I won’t know if I’m doing you wrong

I never know if I’m doing you wrong

Constant reminder of where I can find her

A light that might give up the way

Is all that I’m asking for without her I’m lost

Oh my love don’t fade away

-reminder

Hopeless Wanderer?

And this is where I got out of my car, but I guarantee that there's more.

The moral of this story? Max Evans is definitely a Mumford & Sons fan. *nods*

[kissme-hs]

Not okay- 2

So here it is. Sorry for making you guys wait. I really appreciated the feedbacks :). Have fun reading and ask me questions. Hope you guys like it. P.S Harry in that blue velvet suit has got me fucked up.

You ears were thumping with his words. You heart sank deeper and deeper with the passing seconds. And the air you breathed on seemed like ending any moment now. 

Being a strong and independent woman, you didn’t expect your heart to break that easily. But it still did. Maybe because of how much love it carried for a person. The same person who made you feel humiliated. It wasn’t easy. How it could be? The ache made you feel ashamed of yourself, for loving someone with such passion and having your heart broken by them within a few mere minutes.

Even the sun shines after a few days of heavy thunder but it was different with you. You wanted to feel the pain more so that you have the bruise on yourself for loving someone so dearly. 

Sometimes things don’t work out, or a person doesn’t turns out to be like how you imagined they will. Harry seemed just a sweetheart with you. You thought that you both are such good friends that he will always try to keep the bonding up with you. But oh boy, you were wrong. He didn’t feel the same. To him you were just another songwriter that he wanted to use to gain more profit. 

He had no idea how much he hurt you. 

And there, you decided to keep contract with him. But not being the same y/n. You wanted him to feel the pain he gave you. You wanted to take away his friend from him. OR you thought was. But the pain still was pulsing inside your veins. A friend of you was gone. The friend who you thought was gonna be there for you always but no. And you hated him for that.

To quit the job wasn’t a solution. You had loans to pay and for you sake you needed to work on.

The soft pattering of rain woke you up from the deep slumber of sleep. As soon as you opened your eyes, you head was stuck with a deep ache with nausea filling it up. The night before you fell asleep crying. You drove fast as you could from Mitch’s house and ended up crying the night away.

The harsh words of Harry welled your eyes up again. You closed your sensitive eyes trying to soak away the salty water. To some extinct you can stop your cries, but what about the pain? The hurt? The pieces in which your heart was? Pain can’t be soaked, hurt can be rewind and the pieces, they can’t be fixed.

You took a deep breath and got up to get ready for the day. Today you had to go to the studio to help Harry start writing for next album. This wasn’t going to be easy, but you were strong.

Leaning down to tie your shoes, a shiny key ring caught your eyes, it was a gift from Harry. He gave it to you one random night. God knows why.

You shook your head trying to get rid of the haunting memories and drove to the studio.

–At the studio–

As you stepped inside the studio the strong aroma of coffee crawled up your nostrils. You walked inside and was suddenly pulled in a hug by the same talk, lanky man who broke your heart the night before.

Nothing seemed to change. The man was same. The feelings were same. The only difference was, the perspective of seeing that person wasn’t like it used to be.

The words ‘annoying’ ‘she’s not like you’ ‘till then I’ve you kendall’ and all other shit roamed around your brain like it’s all that you have.

You pulled away as soon as you felt yourself dwelling in his arms.

“ where were yeh last nigh’?!” Harry asked, ‘wow like you don’t know’ you thought so self and shrugged.

“I came. Had some work so went back home” you said simply and walked past him. For the first time you didn’t had a long talk with him on the porch like the other days where you guys used to exclaim things and other stuff while standing on the porch.

“Oh cmon y/n. Wha’ kind a friend yeh are. Don’ have time for her bestie?!” Harry said walking behind you. His words again made you weak at knees. Friend? Bullshit!

You decided not to reply and work on what you were there for. You picked the notebook up and started to pen down your thoughts. Fortunately Mitch wasn’t there or else you would’ve been sitting with sweat beads covering your forehead.

“You alrigh’?” Harry asked sitting beside you. He placed his hand upon yours, rubbing the soft flesh of your hand softly. Your hands did fit in his perfectly. Like a puzzle. The sweet gesture reminded you of all the times you guys had your hands interlinked. The memories and flashbacks, weren’t good.

You pulled your hand out from his and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear looking down in your notebook. You didn’t think he was worth the reply so you just nodded your head.

The whole day you spent avoiding him. Giving him little one word answer, avoiding his gaze, preventing any touch from him. Whenever he tried to hold your hand or peck your cheek, you’d move away, paying more attention to your work.

And the day ended. You were packing your stuff when Harry came up from behind and spoke.

“Yeh wanna hang around a bit?” Harry asked hopefully clearly annoyed with the fact that you didn’t payed any kind of attention to him.

You picked your purse up and held the file in your hand.

“No. I’ve some work.” you said. And before he opens his mouth, you left.

Harry deserved that treatment. He made you realise that loving someone more than the should can be harmful and now to lessen the pain, you were doing Vise-versa. You were being in your limits, working how you should.

The next few months you remained the same. Worked till time without any wasted talks. You told Mitch everything that happened and he understood every bit of it. It wasn’t easy for you. Seeing Harry’s face everyday kept reminding of how worthless he made you feel. No doubt he felt annoyed. Annoyed with your sudden behaviour and there came a time where he too took it professionally and cut it out entirely. Everyone in the team was taken back with the sudden nature of you both but no one dared to speak.

And the last day came. You just got paid and was walking back from the management’s room when Harry stood in front of you.

He had his stare on your face and you were struggling to avoid it. His hand made there way up your arms to hold them firmly.

“look a’ meh” Harry said. More like demanded. You peeked up at his face a little and man he looked dead serious. His eyebrow was raised and he did looked not in the mood of joking.

You gathered all the courage you had in yourself and looked at him with the same expression.

It was happening. After months of holding it back, you’re gonna explode.

“What??” You said trying to sound serious.

“Wha’ is it?” Harry asked with the same tone

“what do you mean?”

you asked.

“yeh know wha’ exactly I mean! Who do yeh think yeh are? Huh? How can yeh jus’ back up?!” Harry yelled at you. Everyone in the studio now had their eyes on you. They all knew this was gonna happen.

The blood in your veins boiled up as you pulled him inside the spare room harshly

“ how dare you talk to me like that?!!” You shouted.

“Don’ you fuckin’ dare to shou’ at meh!” Harry said. His breath was heavy and face was red. Seeing him like that made you more angry.

“What the hell do you want?!!” You said running your hands through your hair in frustration. You already had enough and didn’t wanted to have a fight.

“How could yeh?! How can yeh jus’ block me ou’ of yeh life?! How can yeh jus’ walk inside the studio and act like a complete stranger?! And now yeh are jus’ leaving me like tha’?! Didn’t even signed a new contract!!” Harry kinda yelled. He was annoyed so badly. Why’s he so.

This all made you tear up. The flashback of the day of him bitching about you flashed on the back of your eyelids as you tried to control yourself. You never wanted to turn out like this but circumstances made you to transform yourself to the person you are today.

“I’m jut doing my work” your said controlling your emotions trying to sound as calm as you could.

“Don’ you put that shit on meh!” Harry said warning you but who the hell he was to do that.

“So you wanna know the truth huh?! So listen! You talking about my back, bitching how much annoying I am made ma change! You talking how irritation I am made me change! You ditching me, calling yourself my friend then saying you faked it just because you wanted me to believe and stay in my bubble made me Change! And falling for you then having my heart broken made me change!” A shaky cry left your mouth as the words left your mouth. You still couldn’t believe that Harry said something like that. Your eyes were red and the sobs kept escaping your lips.

“I-I didn’ know you heard meh” Harry stuttered. His eyes turned red as a tear left his eye.

“Y-you have no right to cry! Stop! Stop the fuck being fake! I hate you! I hate you forever!” You spat harshly wiping your tears and walked to open the door when his hand held yours.

“Let me go you dick!” You said crying. But he didn’t. He had his grip on yours.

“I dint mean it. Bloody hell I never could! It was jus’ Kendall was there and I was scared t'open up to her. Yeh know how much of a bitch she turns if she sees meh with someone else. And I knew if I agreed with her, then she’d try to get you away from meh and I didn’t wanted tha’. ” Harry said. It was hard to believe. You turned to look at him and the look on his face made it prominent. He was crying. And this was the first time you saw him crying.

“D'yeh really think I’ll mean all tha’ after all the fun we had together? I never, ever faked a smile when I was with yeh. I always loved you.” Harry said and let go of your hand.

This is all seemed so unreal. And for the first time in months, you felt you could breath.

“why didn’t tell me this before? Why when the contract in ended and I’m ready to leave?!” You asked him annoyed.

“Because now yeh are no’ a songwriter t'meh. But the girl whom I fell for. Now I’m no’ talking t'yeh as a co-worker of mine but as a friend whom I lost months ago. An’ here I beg you t'return the lost friend of mine.” Harry cried and his eyes pleaded. Pleaded to have his friend back. It made harder for you to hold back anymore so without any ado you ran and wrapped your arms around his neck holding onto him for your dead life. Harry had his face hidden in your neck as you both cried.

“Oh jeez I-I missed yeh. So much. God I love yeh so much.” Harry said squeezing you. You pulled away so that you could have a better view of his gorgeous face. You unwrapped your arm from his neck to wipe his tears and push his hair back like you used to.

“Don’t you cry round butt. I love you too.”

you said making him giggle. And Harry brought his lips to yours. He kissed you like there was no tomorrow, like he was afraid you’d leave again. Will become cold again but you weren’t this time. You kissed him back with these me love and passion. The love dripped from the kiss.

The old days were back with a slight difference. You weren’t friends any more. But we’re lovers who were more like buddies.