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ironhusband · 5 years ago

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Five times Rhodey cried

Rhodey doesn’t cry much. Nearly never, in fact. It’s not like he’s emotionally stunned or anything like that, he just doesn’t show happiness or sadness or anger through crying. It’s not like he doesn’t feel or shows all those emotions. It’s just that he’s an Air-Force man, and he’s been building towards that his entire life. He’s professional and obedient, and he’s seen and been through worse. He couldn’t cry when he’s on tour, so why cry when Bambi dies? His family and Tony tell him he’s weird, but his fellow soldiers get it.

When he does cry, it’s only during big, life changing moments, when he knows his life will never be the same and he’s glad for it or mournful for it or both.

~~~

The first time Rhodey cried (”that he remembers,” Jeanette likes to tease him) was when he got his ROTC acceptance letter. His mama was the one to bring it to him, grinning from ear to ear while she handed him the letter.

When Rhodey touched the envelope, he was nervous. “It’s a small envelope,” he hesitated.

“So?” Jeanette encouraged him, “you’re the top of your class. The Air-Force will be stupid to reject you.”

“Maybe they just went for someone else,” Rhodey tried to excuse, “probably a lot of people applied and MIT is hard to get into, so-”

Jeanette grabbed the envelope right from his fingers, and Rhodey scrambled to get it back, “Jean, give it back!”

“You’re being ridiculous! You’re mourning something before you even know the answer! If you stopped struggling, and let me open the letter, you could mourn for real!”

“Kids,” their dad said, exasperated, “Jeanette, give Rhodey his letter back.”

Jeanette sighed, “only if he opens it.”

“I’m going to open it,” he tugged at the letter.

Jeanette handed it back. Rhodey sat down, grabbed the letter opener, and prayed under his breath-

“I got in,” he muttered, shocked, though suddenly he didn’t understand why, and then he was crying, “I got in!”

His family whooped and cheered and gave him a group hug and Rhodey could only laugh and cry, happy that the thing he’d been building towards his entire life was going to happen.

~~~

If you asked the public which of them cried during their first time, they’d probably say neither. Tony’s friends would probably not hesitate before knowingly saying “Tony.” Rhodey’s family and Jarvis will say “both” being painfully aware of the pining on both ends, and Rhodey’s army buddies will playfully rib him about crying during sex, but only Rhodey and Tony know the answer is just Rhodey, and Tony will never let him live it down.

In Rhodey’s defence, it’s before the sex, not during, and he tired was of the repression DADT forced him into and he it wasn’t his fault that his family and Tony’s affectionate touches made him unprepared for no one even hugging him for a month, and he became a little tocuhstarved when he got his first leave.

His first stop after he got his leave was Tony, because he was closer, and because Rhodey knew his family could likely survive without him for a few more days, but Tony was probably already dead.

It was more quiet than he expected it to be. The Air-Force changed Rhodey, and they both knew it. It took awhile before they found a topic which didn’t land them in awkward silence. They talked about Tony’s inventions, Tony’s trips across the globe, Rhodey’s new friends, the letters he got from Tony and his family. It was nice when he could see how excited Tony became as he rambled and it was nice that Tony laughed at the same jokes Rhodey’s friends made Rhodey laugh at. But it wasn’t easy, and it wasn’t carefree, and there was this tension between them, until Rhodey let it slip, “I missed you.”

Tony seemed surprised by this, hadn’t expected the admission. They both were more men of actions rather than words. But then Tony’s gaze turned soft, and he was getting closer to Rhodey. Rhodey noticed how Tony grew a few inches while Rhodey was gone, and it makes him sad that he didn’t get to see it. Tony got closer, and Rhodey was suddenly thinking of something else because Tony was really really close, and Rhodey truly did miss him.

“I missed you too,” Tony admitted, fingers softly touching Rhodey’s chin just a bit to angle him up, just a bit to drive Rhodey insane, just a bit so that their lips touched.

Kissing Tony differs from any other kiss Rhodey had. It’s slow and gentle, but still somehow... all consuming. Life changing. Purely amazing. Maybe Rhodey would look back at the kiss one day and realize that technique-wise, it was terrible, but in that moment, kissing Tony was everything.

He’d been pining for Tony ever since he first told him he was brilliant, and after enlisting, he found out that the saying about absence making the heart grow fonder was true, because he’d spent most of his time missing Tony. It felt so overwhelming, Tony’s fingers grazing his nape, his breath against Rhodey’s lips, Tony’s hip bone biting into his hip. It’s everything he missed, and everything he wanted, and it was so overwhelming, but so good.

When Tony pulled back, Rhodey was breathless and had tears in his eyes, and it wasn’t because the kiss was breathtaking or tear-bringing. Tony was.

Tony ruined the moment, of course.

“Aw, honeybear, are you crying?” Tony teased, “didn’t know I had that effect on you.”

Tony was still chuckling when Rhodey shoved him down, when Rhodey muttered, “yeah, yeah,” and kissed Tony again.

~~~

If Rhodey made a list of all the things most important to him, his family, his job and Tony would tie for first place. Well, sometimes depending on the week, if Rhodey was frustrated at Tony or DADT, those last two would be knocked down a few grades, but his family was always first place, no matter how annoying his baby sister was sometimes.

So of course he cried when he got a new addition to his family.

He was pacing in the waiting room, concerned and nervous, but mostly excited. He was happy, and he couldn’t sit still for it, no matter how many times Tony pulled him down to sit next to him.

When Lila’s wife finally called for him, he basically ran to the delivery room.

He found Jeanette there, seeming exhausted, but happy with the new-born baby girl in her arms. When she noticed him, she grinned, mentioning for Rhodey to come closer. “Jim, meet Lila,” she said, tilting the baby so Rhodey could look at her beautiful face.

“Can I...?” he asked and Jeanette nodded, handing Lila over to Rhodey carefully.

The weight in his arms and the way the baby’s face was squished against his face, felt right, felt nice. He already knew this would be one of his favorite things to do whenever he would babysit for his sister. “Hey, baby girl. I’m your uncle. I’m going to spoil you rotten.” Lila yawned and grabbed his finger, and suddenly tears overwhelmed his eyes, and he felt a sob coming.

“She’s a fast learner,” Tony pointed out (since when was he beside him?), and then he looked at Rhodey’s face, smiling fondly when he told Jeanette, “Rhodey’s about to cry his eyes out.”

Jeanette laughed, “oh my god.”

Then the dam broke, and suddenly Rhodey was weeping, sobs making his entire body shake.

“Maybe I should take Lila away,” Tony suggested, and Rhodey could only tearfully nod. To Jeanette’s surprise, once Lila’s was in Tony’s arms, Rhodey, instead of running out of the room to cry in private, hugged her tightly, whispering, “I’m gonna be the best babysitter, you’ll see, me and Tony, anytime you ask, I love Lila so much already, Jean, she’s gonna be such a smart, beautiful, amazing girl. I love her. I love you.”

Jeanette didn’t question it, only hugged him back, and whispered back, “love you too, big brother.”

~~~

Rhodey didn’t cry during the three months Tony was gone. Tony wasn’t dead, so there was no reason to, right? Right. He’d get him back home and everything’d be okay again. No reason to cry. He wasn’t going to cry. There were a lot of times he really wanted to cry.

It was only when Rhodey got Tony back home safely and Tony showed him the arc-reactor that suddenly Rhodey felt it all. Something about the scars around Tony’s chest, and the thought of an engineering marvel inside Tony’s chest, the idea that something so scary, so untrustworthy was keeping his love alive... Rhodey just felt it all. The exhaustion from looking for Tony, the weight of the rumors that could end his career, the frustration at the endless sea of lifeless sand, and that-

“I could have lost you,” he said, surprising both of them, and then he gathered Tony in his arms and let out a tiny sob, “I was so close to losing you.”

Tony hugged back, “shh, Rhodey, it’s okay. You didn’t lose me. I’m right here.”

“I almost lost you,” Rhodey said again, “I nearly believed I lost you. I could have lost you.” Rhodey sounded like a broken record at that point, but he didn’t care.

“Shhh, everything’s okay. You didn’t lose me. I’m right here. And from now on, we’re only riding together. You’ll never lose me again. Right?”

Rhodey only weakly nodded against Tony’s shoulder, trying not to think of Tony’s corpse on a operating table after a surgery gone wrong, but focusing on him being alive, and with him, right now.

~~~

It’s not something Rhodey advertises, but before Rhodey settled on the more realistic career of being in the Air-Force, Rhodey wanted to be a superhero. He admired Batman and Superman and Captain America and told his parents that when he was big he’d be rich like Batman and have a flying suit that had super strength like Superman and Captain America’s superpowers. The only evidence of that dream was in the Rhodes family picture album and Tony’s screen saver of him in a Captain America costume (no matter how much Rhodey begged Tony to change it).

So, it wasn’t an exaggeration to say that War Machine was a dream come true.

It first happened several weeks after Tony healed from Palladium poisoning. Rhodey took a break from his job and War Machine to just be with Tony, hold him a little too tight to remind him that Tony almost died but he isn’t gone, and make up for their fight. Then duty called, and Rhodey didn’t hesitate when he got in the War Machine armor.

“You look so good in it,” Tony sighed and leaned up to give him a kiss, “proud of you, honey. Go kick some ass.”

Rhodey smiled and almost shrieked in delight when he was flying again, almost having forgotten how good it felt (granted, the last time wasn’t so great, but now he had free will so it was better than ever).

When he got back, Tony was already dragging him to the living room, excitedly talking about the news, and how it was nice to keep track of Rhodey and then Rhodeyy saw the headline of the news. “Superhero War Machine resurfaces” it read.

“You’re famous now,” Tony teased, but then he took a double take at Rhodey’s face and asked, concerned, “Rhodeybear, are you alright? Does this trigger the fight for you, or something?”

Rhodey, mostly not hearing him, could only say, “I’m a superhero.”

Tony smiled, “course you are, babe. I was only joking about the sidekick thing.”

Rhodey’s grin grew, “I’m a superhero!”

“Yeah, I kno-” but then Rhodey was throwing Tony in the air and laughing happily and Tony was too stunned to finish his quip.

“I’m a superhero!” he felt like shouting that from rooftops.

“Hon, I thought you knew,” Tony shook his head, still winded even after Rhodey put him down, “why is this such a big deal?”

“It’s a huge deal, Tony!” he said, cupping Tony’s face, his eyes brimming with tears ready to be shed, blurry vision on his husband, “I’ve got everything I ever wanted.”

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