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lmanburs · 2 years

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every time i think about how dirty black canary was done in arrow i get so mad

#i think the addition of sara as the first black canary was fine and i really liked her in s2 #but they really just shouldve kept her dead after s3 and kept that as the catalyst for laurel's training into becoming the second canary #sara's resurrection just overcomplicated things especially since they killed laurel the literal next season so what was the point at all #and then they introduced dinah the season afterwards after realizing how awful of a decision it was and while bringing in earth 2 laurel #and by the time e2 laurel got redeemed now we've got 2 black canaries in the same show??#arrow writers had such a straightforward path they could've gone and it would've been completely fine and yet...#the main reason i liked s8 of arrow so much is because it felt we finally got laurel as black canary at her full capacity #too bad that didnt last for very long.#laurel.txt

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spaghett-onaplate · 4 months

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depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed

#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself #and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change #it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly #so there was somewhat of a gradual progression #but still #also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time #i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i #had been socially involved #anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change #and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find #the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever #and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha #(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls 😭)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically #it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni #ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that #but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped #and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr #i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years #and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it #and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing #kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao #i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school #and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build #--ing towards #which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now

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carcarrot · 6 days

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well the poll hasnt ended yet but im sorry once again to those of you that wanted me to be more responsible. im seeing those bitches again as close as i possibly can

#old man musicians are forever...... remember this #in all honesty its like. i would feel bad if i didnt go. now did i have to be That Close? apparently so #i am very much hoping (unfortunately this may involve an inquiring phone call) that this resale ticket does include the vip stuff. please #and like i was recently reminded again how like when genesis had that last go round reunion tour thing and i conceivably could have gone #but i didnt. to be fair id i think like just started my new job and like all that and i hadnt started making new job money #so its not like i had the best opportunity but you get it. i felt bad i didnt see those guys especially considering how much genesis meant #and still means to me. and its the same w ade and 80s crimson #like at the show hearing certain songs i was reminded of how i like took or changed lines and put em into poetry i wrote at the time #and adrians songwriting meant so much to me then and still does now. but anyway to make a long story short (too late!)#time and money are fleeting and old man musicians are forever and more importantly fun life experiences n memories are what its all about!#oh also does anyone want the other ticket lmao. do you know anyone who does #if youd like to go to the nyc show. Hit Me Up . please lol id like to get Something for this ticket

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sipsteainanxiety · 2 months

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mha nation how yall doin

#in light of recent leaks… ahem. im gna keep my damn mouth shut and take pro hero bkg to his therapy #anyways… heyyyyyy #so. one year later.. yes i am alive. some updates on my life:#fell out of mha fandom and into one or two others #graduated uni and am now in my gap year aiming to start a md program next spring/fall #made a twitch account not too long ago to be silly and play video games. i only got 18 followers LMFAO #if any1 wants the user u can dm me or send me an ask or smth. might drop a link on the blog later down the line. moots im staring at u #recently went over some bkg wips and i miss him so bad #will i finish my bkg wips? someday yes. dragon bkg is my baby and i WILL finish it #but at the moment i am rotting <3 #i see all ur asks and while i will not reply to all (so that i dont clog dash) i appreciate those of u who reached out! i rly do!!#i havent really been in the mood to write recently for some reason #tho i have been writing for um. redacted fandom over the last year #‘but shay whats redacted’#well if u really want to know check out ‘lunarmoves’ on tumblr/ao3 #and dont judge me until u’ve read some of the stuff ive written/art ive rbed #and if u r curious as to how i ended up in that fandom……….. i read a fic on ao3. it was so good it rerouted my entire brain #the rest is history #anywayz sorry for disappearing!#it will happen again /hj #im more active on that other blog at the moment #go to sleep shay it's late o'clock #might answer some asks tn idk #feeling whimsical tn i guess LOL #i wouldve dropped my alt blog sooner but i truly thought it would be a short phase #it was not #1 year later im still there. partially.#it is a very nice fandom c: i didnt want to leave LOL #also i didnt want to mix that blog with this anime one #you;ll know why if u peep at my alt blog. it is two very VERY different fandoms

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munamania · 9 months

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i dont wanna be a dick and act like i have no responsibility in this but after a point dont u think if all you ever say to ur friend is Omg you never make it out why dont you ever come out with us you bail all the time youre such a flake etc. dont u think that person (me) is like. not gonna feel so inclined to. be there

#like. yeah i was bad last semester i get it. and probably i shouldve tried at least once or twice to push thru #but i was so exhausted. and every time they would bring up hanging out it was on my longest days #and when i casually brought this up they were just like Well we have long days too. Okay!#and i love and miss these friends and i know for the most part. or at least think. theyre just teasing #i hate being seen as the flake like any time i do have to be like Oh i cant make that or Shit im sorry i have to bail #i try to offer an alternative???? and they never compromise on that. how is that fair like im not just outright rejecting u all the time #not to mention most of the time last semester it was always gonna be somewhere super easy for them to get home and far from me #im not like constantly holding this against them btw but i feel like they're holding it against me and i dont have any more apologies in me #anyway. that said. if theyre somewhere really expensive and far from me tn and i get out of work early #i. probably will not make it. lol! if theyd be willing to come a little closer to my place to one of the dives or some shit thatd be great #and like im not doing much today until class and work so really like. i WILL try. but i think they could sometimes not go for the most #expensive and inconvenient option as well. and these r all things ill say if it becomes like a problem problem or smth #but rn im not gonna be a dickhead and shit on their plans #but also! ok whatever im not gonna keep going on i just feel shitty im not 100% better from being sick and im just frustrated #about having to fuckign grovel over and over and over. i meant it the first few times now im just like #u could try not to be an asshole to me for five seconds too. like. i am very clearly not someone trying to secretly stop being friends #w yall. things happen #abby talks #and maybe this is an esp sore spot bc like ive certainly had some of you bail on me or be flaky or whatever before. and i didnt throw #a fucking fit to your face about it. probably bc it actually did feel more mean spirited sometimes #OK im sorry im not trying to make my friends sound evil and its mostly just the one and like im working on forgiving her for it cause it #was years ago but also like christ!

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enjolrasofficial · 30 days

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#when you feel yourself falling headfirst into a depressive episode bc of all the bad stuff that's been happening in the last months and all #you wanna do is talk to your best friend about it but you can't bc your best friend cut you out of their life bc their new partner told them #that you're a crazy person who's bad for her and convinced them to stop being your friend and your just miss her #and you miss her and you miss her and you miss her and knowing you could be dead right now or could be dead in a month or a year or in 40 or #or 80 years without her even knowing or caring hurts it hurts like someone cut of a part of your limb and when you talk to people you #sometimes still make your inside jokes and no one will understand them and it will hurt again like the first moment she betrayed you and #told you all the bad stuff she know believes of you and then you'll remember this has all happened before and you were a fool for trusting #them again after what had happened the first time but you did and the hurt never stops bc she was your best friend for so long and you two #thought you were soulmates once and you apparently were not and now it hurts still and every time something good or bad or very bad happens #you wanna talk to her and tell her and you wonder how they are doing but he cut you out and told you horrible things and accused you of #terrible stuff that you didn't even understood where it came from and you know you can never be friends again bc you know there's no way #you will ever be able to trust her again but you wonder #you wonder how his life has been going and she's happy and if they're health and whether they think about you too sometimes #and sometimes you're scared for her bc all has been scratchy and you know nothing about what even happend and you suspect he's in an abusive #situation but you don't know bc they blocked you everywhere even duolingo and goodreads and she deleted her tumblr which she didnt last time #and when you were at the hospital every second of every minute of every day your fingers itched to text her about your terrible roommate and #when you were there again they itched to call her bc you were so scared but that will never happen again and now that all the bad stuff has #happened you kno lw you can deal on your own and you're strong enough to do it but it still hurts and will it ever stop?

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tamagotchikgs · 5 months

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i try my best not to think of it and i havent in years but the fact the only people who were ever supposed to be my friends irl would always dump their love on me and then to leave me & say they dont like me over and over and over again only so they could watch my reaction n make fun of me together maybe did affect me huh

#i am normal i am not affected ii do not see ◡_◡#[distant sounds of me crying & screaming && gasping for air &&& ripping myself to shreds like a bear]#i was always an autistic lil freak who didnt speak so i guess i shouldnt be surprised #but like. i always just wanted them to like me #i always just wanted the chance to like them back and let be allowed. always just wanted someone to be pals with. someone i could trust to #have my back for once vs everything else #i remember such a specific moment right #and we were going on a roadtrip w her and one i already had #and they ended up talking before we left #the worst part is i had to keep seeing them. i had to just keep reliving the humiliation over n over again n it got so deep in me #& the og one had a plan that we would sit together in the back n n we had like. tons of stuff brought we could do n snacks n all this #n then at the very last second literally as i had just sat down she was like . actually. i dont want you back here. i want her she's way be #better #and i remember so specifically she was like. LOL look at ur face..........#and so i had to sit up front alone w nothing to do the entire ride but listen to them make fun of me for it #i feel like it would be better if they had left it at that but then they always came back n treated me so sweetly so i was like . ok i have #a chance #maybe they do like me #like the same girl went on to share cookies she had bought w me and we sat on the lawn for hours hanging out n eating them #and then she did it again #and again #but i was so alone in the world otherwise that i stayed #for years n years #my therapist always talks about how because of how long ive had anxiety means itll take either equally as long or longer to recover #and all i can think ab is how i lived with everything horrible at home #always just wanting to escape #to living through bad things outside of it too #just piling on top #from 6-16 #and i kept going back

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orcelito · 6 months

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I've been following that AITA blog for a bit now and it has me thinking about my own life situations with conflict and drama. A passive "do I have anything I could submit to that blog?" But upon thinking about it, it's like... I really find no value in asking strangers whether I'm "the asshole" in situations. There are situations where I'm clearly not at fault, situations where I was a little shit but it was justified, and at least one situation where I have a definite "Oh yeah, I was definitely the asshole there". All in the past, so it's not like I'd even need advice or anything. I already know, so what's the point?

Maybe it stems from me being a generally self-aware and self-confident kind of person. I know what's going on with myself, know when I've wronged people, & I have a mentality of "well, I'll try to not do that in the future." Even if I feel a little guilty thinking back, what's the point of asking after something when I know I'm at fault? Or situations where things were complicated and both people had fault in things, but I know I wasn't being shitty on purpose & that's what matters to me. Ultimately, it results in a bunch of strangers drawing conclusions about things I really don't care about outside input on.

Still love reading the blog tho. There's something about reading up on random people's life drama that satisfies that gossipmonger soul in me So well.

#speculation nation #i think the most blatantly YTA thing id get is when i ghosted that guy i was seeing back when i was 20 or so #wasnt ever actually dating but i made it sound like i would. very much led him on.#then realized i just wasnt into cishet guys At All and dropped him out of nowhere bc i was 20 and didnt know how to deal with feelings #objectively it was a pretty awful thing for me to do. and i feel bad that i did it.#have i ever tried to reach out and apologize tho? no lmao #it happened so long ago now i feel like itd bring more animosity than relief anyways.#id like to think ive learned from it tho. Dont Date People Just For The Hell Of It.#god it rly is my romantic history where im the biggest asshole. my prior girlfriend too #i do feel bad about that. i never meant to hurt her but that sure is what i did.#it was better to break it off when i did. wouldve been better had i did it earlier but oh well.#then as a teenager and my whole fucked up romance life then...#but NO LONGER!!!!!!!! hopefully lol. im rly into my current girlfriend and after my last one ive been dedicated to. not do that again.#cant date people just because im bored. that's never ended well for me.#i learned my lesson this time for SURE!!!!!#anyways yea id say more constently id be The Asshole in these situations. but im only human man it happens.#other situations it's usually just fucked up situations with me being a toxic little shit in response bc it's all i knew.#idk. community voting doesnt matter to me. learning from my prior mistakes and shortcomings is what matters to me.#it's interesting to see the blog tho. people are insecure about some of the most trivial things sometimes...

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taylovelinus · 10 months

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ugh I had a friend today, who is famous for going scorched earth, decide to go scorched earth with me. shocking i know, but still, hate to see it

#okay SO. our friend group wanted to go to a party last night but this friend she said she wasn't sure if she wanted to go #she works REALLY long hours and goes to bed very early and the party didnt start until late #and on top of that someone she has beef with was going to be there. AND that person asked me to not bring my friend #I'm good friends with both of them and didn't want to pick a side and i've been stuck in the middle for months #so it all added up and we figured she honestly wouldn't want to go anyway with all things considered: too late + has beef + 40 min drive #but no. she saw the posts on people's stories and she was livid. and I for whatever reason and bearing the brunt of the rage #despite going w 2 other friends who are also in our gc. and i'm not even like the one that's closest to her but okay #and dont get me wrong if i were in her shoes I'd feel left out too. like yes I feel bad yes I fucked up #but idk she's vague posting about me (us?) on her instagram and its like. we do literally everything with her and we adore her #is it worth going scorched earth over? idk #but she has her own insecurities and issues and so I understand why she acts the way she acts. but it still sucks

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nomairuins · 11 hours

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read asoue to weeman as a bedtime story he liked it YAYYYY

#i set up a oneblock mc workd 4 him bc hes been obsessed w them #took me a while bc im an idiot FJFBFNN but i got it. nd he was having fun but itsba school night #but he was in my room playing so eventually i convinced him to turn off mc (meryl my computer came in with an assist (battery low warning so #i could say I think meryl is getting tired....)) so then he helped me turn it off but was still so sad #so i offered for him to stay cozy in my room 4 awhile and we sat together and then i said we could read a story together #so he read his favorite book 2 me (not a box if anybody is curious) and then i relized my copies of asoue r in storage at current moment #Which was the bummer. but i checked out the ebook from my library in wa YAYY I LOVE LIBRARIES #so i was reading that to him :] and he was super into it asking me abt words i didnt know he even asked me Why is his last name snicket...#as if the name lemony isnt weirder NRNTJFNhes funny #but ya. and he was asking me questions abt the story (How did that fire start.... Maybe they left the oven on too long 😥😥😥) but he was #rly into it... i was a bit worried itd be a bit too sad 4 him But i underestimated him . he was very sad when their parents died but very #invested. we got abt midway through chapter 4 (klaus had just said the thing abt olaf only giving them one bed) and then he started #fake snoring. so i carried him to his room and then unfortunately he noticed that his phone was charged so he decided to play on that a bit #before bed . sigh . I did my best #nd then i told my mom and she had the gall to be like Sigh when i said he grabbed his ohone and its like. Well thatis bc you gave him a #phone to play on and whenever you dont feel like listening to him when he wants to tell you things you distract him with any screen in reach #like. yk. itis entirely your alls fault. and i feel bad #hes such a sweet kid and yes he does have a tendency to talk a lot bc hes . an autistic 6 year old who loves a lot of things and is excited #to share. yk. but most everyone just ignores him and i feel bad...#i try my best to listen sometimes i have trouble following but like. yk.#and a lot of the stuff is abt whatever youtubers hes watching which. sigh. but whtevr #idk. i worry abt him having a phone with internet access like. hes only got kids youtube and stuff but. well i dont love kids having access #to the internet so young <- guy who was doing erp with strangers online at age 7.#but. waghhhhhhfhfhrbfufbfjr. wtvr #anyways. im glad he liked the story at least im hoping i can get him into reading more #he likes reading but im gonna ask my mom if i can get all my books out of storage #theyre like. hes still quite young for most of them but ive got some old junie b jones #and i think tag would like a lot of them as well ... neither of them read a lot it makes me sad but its. understandable. my parents didnt #teach tag to read like at all and they still struggle with it #so i cannot blame them. but i think the books i liked at their age r things theyd like so ! yk.

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playingonedchess · 20 days

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weird how this year like basically every fiction thing ive been into has been mystery crime sort of stuff

#there was yuumorri riverrs of london ace atorneh and crime i punishment #which isnt very many things for a whole half a year #theres been a few other things ive watched and read as well i suppose #but ive been getting into new stuff way less than i used to #useless loser reading too much bloody fanfiction i didnt used to do that #i know its not tumblr cause i did used to do that #though also like since i started uni i suppose thats not really a reason but the second part of last calender year was similar #though now im just confused what was when its not that confusing is it #anyway im not sure im really more busy now im at uni #i mean i spend so much time doing nothing just on my phone or whatever #and a lot less hours objectively #not even sure ive got that much more going on probably less #like i do remember being at least a bit busy with a levels at school even though i didnt have a life then either #ive had the habbit of obsessing over things to cope with not having a life and not wanting to have to think about doing stuff i have to #ive been doing that for ages but as time goes on i do think ive become more dispassionate or something #not that thats really got anything to do with it #but i can at least say that a year living alone with like responsibilities or something like whatever not like i really did much #i seem just to be becoming lazier and lazier if i cant even be bothered to read or watch tv much what the fuck #like i genuinly dont think theres been that much pressure than school #like there was lots academically back then and also i didnt know what i was going to do after #i do think not talking to people has a bad overall effect in the long term in a lot of aspects but i dont know how exactly that relates #to whatever im talking about or how to explain it to prove it

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toastsnaffler · 2 months

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trying to watch all of us strangers and it's just making me cry really hard this is why I don't do romance movies WAH

#not even at actual sad bits i just lose my mind watching ppl w chemistry act romantically on screen #when its well done and it feels intimate..... taking poison damage ouuuuurggh. -1hp -1hp -1hp ow... -1hp #god i fucking miss kissing ppl i miss physical intimacy its hard to breathe watching this. in a good way but also oww. ouch!!!!#i am so normal and well adjusted i promise. come here #i wish i didnt react the way i do sometimes to physical contact theres no reason i dont understand why it happens #like i wish it was easy for me and came naturally bc i always want it so so badly. but the fucking flinch where does that come from #and it makes everyone treat me like glass and avoid me bc they think i dont like it or just tolerate it i promise im not lying come back #its so so so frustrating and i find it so hard to watch other ppl being affectionate its like looking directly at thr sun #and i know im so obvious around other ppl when i get upset bc theyll touch and avoid me and then i get upset if they do touch me bc they #only do it when they feel bad for leaving me out ppl only ever hug me when they feel sorry for me do u know how shit that makes me feel #i just want ppl to want me around and in their space bc thats what i want but is it too much.to ask 🥹🥹🥹🥹#its easier when i warm up to ppl but it just takes so long and its so rare for anyone to believe me by that point the boundaries are set #im like a little feral kitten i need to be physically socialised before i get adopted #this isnt even making sense anymore im so tired my mind is all over the placr. sloshing on the floor. anyway ummmm #i cant keep being like this forever man #not even talking abt sex but thats a whole other thing. wouldnt it be nice to fuck without fitting the stone top role. i wouldnt know #all respect to ppl who are stone and all the ace ppl i know but im NOT i do want it i very much do experience the attraction!!!!#but for some reason my body wont let other ppl touch me it drives me fucking insane. i dont even have trauma like whatever man #didnt even use to be this bad i was such an affectionate kid n teen i wish i could go back man. man!!!#what a fucking decade of mental illness and repression does to a mf. forget all the other ways its affected me this is the worst by far #just the isolated n alienation innit. well it is what it is. maybe someday ill get it back #anyway sigh..... back to the movie.. i do like it so far its very pretty just different to my usual sort of film innit #considering i watched cure last weekend ajskdnf. the tonal difference #cure was a weird one but thr more i think abt it the more it sticks with me.... so good i need to watch more kurosawa #ANYWAY #.diaries #sorry for getting so personal on a saturday night.. im home alone for 24 hours and this is what happens

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sereniv · 3 months

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apologies are hard and can be embarassing

but life is too short to let your grandma go to bed sad

#it wasnt a big bad deal #but i didnt listen and projected my guilt #i wanted to be angry and annoyed #but whats the point #is it really that important to feel right when youre actually wrong #to feel mighty bc youre less emotional than another person #its hard to swallow that pride and to admit you were wrong #but you never know if this moment is the last with that person #and putting in that perspective it makes it easy to say youre sorry #i sometimes forget this #something i learned very young after fighting with my mom and upon reflection realized i was wrong the whole time #ive always had this ability since then to swallow my pride almost immediately and jump straight to fixing what i did wrong #but then long story short i lost that ability when i learned the word 'no' for myself #i stopped paying attention and focused on only me #and sometimes i forget that this is not who i want to be. i forget to work on myself #im glad that i made myself apologize and im glad that i made sure i didnt apologize weakly #none of that 'im sorry you feel that way'#but id like to work on avoiding this all together. and thats hard for me. because it requires me to be aware like i used to #which for me is PTSD related. but i dont want to be on my deathbed recalling all the pointless times i doubled down #taking up time that could have been happy #people say its easy to be kind and it is but sometimes when youre guilty it feels good to give into your frustrations and get defensive #again nothing bad happened. i just told her i wanted to do the dishes. she was currently washing some and because of guilt #of my perception of what shes able to do i doubled down on me doing them instead of her even though she assured me she was able #i thought she was lying to me and she got upset. no yelling just not allowing her to do what little shes able #and not trusting her at her word. to be fair she does lie and will admit that she has- when doing things when i feel sick #even when i tell her that id rather choose what im able to do instead of her assuming. which is exactly what i did #me being a hypocrit. so yeah. not a great feeling on multiple levels of this scenario #but truly i need to remember to focus on what matters and that is just taking someones word for it while making sure they know they can #freely tell their feelings. meaning if shes doing the dishes and she says shes fine. let it be. and make sure she absolutely knows that when #i say im fine that i too am telling the truth

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the-acid-pear · 3 months

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Why did my cooking dream get hijacked by my brain making a William Afton oc and au what was that about.

#luly talks #my dreams #I'll peace like i can recollect it was weird #bc it literally was ME BUYING GROCERIES W MY DAD but then the line between when we ended and Michael and William started blurred #i remember the grocery store very well also bc it was very similar to the one i go always to but smaller and more sepia #it was dark for a grocery store like it was just letting sunlight in #pears were half off like some black friday offer so all the products were suuuper cheap #i saw one bottle of milky pear juice for like 1k. and the same w these 4 stacks of frozen waffles who were like 1070.#or this bottle of pear pancake mixture that had 2 or 4 lts #it was kind of when i went away that thr lines started blurring so let me tell you what i remember about this Afton:#he didnt seem. murderous. he was grocery shopping w his kid for fuck's sake 😭 i think he was even sitting somewhere while i ran back and #forth taken aback by these offers? like kinda dismissive at best #uh. Henry was brought up believe it or not. it was like... they broke up or something? like he was kinda upset about the mention but like #in a i dont want to explain why im not with him rn sort of way #very insecure he seemed. like he run into this woman who might've been someone but idk who was whom asked sbout henry and bro was SWEATING #you'd say dream william was a fucking loser he just got locked in thinking like what do i say and HOW do i say it #to make it sound casual but also not weird.#bc on top of all he also seemed to have some weird gender things going on bc he first instinct when trying to explain himself to the woman #(who i cannot stress enough was super friendly like a fucking neighbor or something just going hey hi! hows da family? ^_^)#was to refer to them both as girls as this jokey comradery Let's Ignore The Topic thing before going No That's Bad I Can't Say That #this whole internal monologue in my dream happened in a sort of comic panel thing btw where shit went from these warm browns and greens and #shit from the grocery store to jarring black and whites and reds as William tried to have a straight thought #looks wise unfortunately not a lot going on.though considering this was literally my dream getting turned over can we say my Afton is argie #something something my turn stealing from them etc etc or whatever #uh. brown hair. but not too dark. it was greying and that was making it lighter. also very angular face as you'd expect #high cheekbones pretty eyebrows no facial hair. hair was a bit longuish tho? like a messy ear length maybe?#he had a button up w buttons lose bc it's so hot and humid rn also sunglasses which i know 100% was influenced bc the last design i rbed #a little.before napping #also he had age makes too though his age was most visible in his scrawny long exposed neck #me/mike change was minimal bc we're both pale and brunette hit tag limit so hope y'all like my brain's oc i guess 😭

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gibbearish · 9 months

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Congrats on sending that application!

THANK UUUUUU

#it was to a dominos and my partner is a gm in training at a different branch and i have over a year delivery driving experience #already and know Exactly How Low Their Standards Are so im not worried about getting it‚ mostly just that my brain will still be too mushy #to handle a job again #but i mean since it is just dominos and im only aiming for part time it hopefully shouldn't be too bad #and i do not care if they don't like me bc my resumes already pretty good as is i don't need a glowing review from dominos #esp bc i could just put my bf down as a dominos reference and theyd probably just Assume i worked for him and call him #instead of the store i actually worked at KWNDLABFKSBFJD #which is v good bc having seen a lot of what goes on behind the scenes on the manager side via my bf. i already know i am #going to cause problems LMAO #i have the Transgender Working In Very Liberal Area Right Next To Very Conservative Area Protection Aura #wherein the bosses here are So Very Scared of getting in trouble for bigotry and want to look sososososo woke. that i can get away #with being way more blunt abt when shit sucks lol #bosses don't really know what to do when The One Openly Transgender One directly calls out unfair expectations to their face #and to be clear i do mean liberal as in Liberal we're still very much in the North Idaho Splash Zone so like #open bigotry doesnt happen and the public will be on your side if it does. but boy do they know actually nothing about it #you know the type i mean kwbfksbfkd #like the best example i can think of is a couple ppl at my last job still she/her'd me long after i started passing as male #and me Being A Transgender™ had made the news rounds #and my other coworkers wouldnt correct them and would just he/him and they/them me back #which im fine w bc thats how my pronouns work is just. idk whatever you think‚ if you wanna she me you can just look dumb LMAO #but crucially 99% of my coworkers Didnt know thats how that worked‚ they just knew im A Transgender and look like a man #and that everyone else didn't use she/her for me anymore‚ so like an actually left place would rightly assume #they were doing it deliberately to be shitty and correct them‚ whereas here theyre just like. ah im sure they just havent noticed #since you went by she/her when you started here #and its like no i dont think the beard i grew halfway through working there went unnoticed actually #given that Thats When The Universal He Himming Started #im rambling again sorry for this word avalanche irt a simple congrats i got distracted JEBFKABFKSBFKDBFMD #anyways. tyvm it was stressful and i still dont want to do it but its out of my hands now so i have to follow through and at least give it #a try and i appreciate the encouragement‚ it rlly did make me feel a lot better just seeing the ask #gibberasks

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orcelito · 1 year

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as someone with insomnia whose brain runs a mile a minute at all hours of the day every day always it's often hard for me to remember that i need sleep like everyone else does. like i see mentions of people sleeping and im like "lol couldnt be me" then i remember that i too must go unconscious every night, ideally for at least 8 hours a night, every single day, ad infinitum,

literally what is the point. i'd rather use my time for other things thanks

#speculation nation #and so i do. not that my body is very happy about this fact lol #well u shouldve thought about that BEFORE u made me a light as hell sleeper & made it impossible to fall asleep #would i LIKE to get more than 6 hours of sleep a night? sure! will that happen while ur like this? Probably Not!#and also the extreme hyperfixating. the all encompassing focus that makes all other things irrelevant #that's an autism thing probably. and as glorious as it feels it is frankly not very conducive to a good living situation #it'd be less bad if i didnt live alone and someone could strongarm me into doing my assignments and the dishes etc etc #or going to bed at a reasonable time. god i dont know how to do that right lmfao #agh fuck it's bedtime right Now for waking up for work. let alone if i still wanted to try going to class #that aint happening. im not gonna doom myself to like 4 hours of sleep. rip #fuck dude ive been working too much too. i probably worked over 30 hours last week. i dont even fuckign know anymore #i just wake up go to work go home repeat. my days off are filled with bad choices and too little self care #im dreading doing the dishes. it's been too long. ugh.

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