it really is incredible, seeing how playing one song will spark the exact hybrid emotions that i feel like its meant to generate. pete prefaces by asking the 8-ball, should we play a song from ten years ago? and the 8-ball says my reply is no. so he asks, should we play a song about ten years ago? and so they do. and from the second that beat kicks in, the crowd loses it. they know what song this is, right away. patrick starts singing and the crowd sings back at him. they know every word to this song from an album released this year. theyre not just here for hits from a decade plus ago.
its a hard song to sing. maybe for patrick he has the benefit of distance - but technically speaking, its a hard song. its at an unrelentingly high register and hes singing this in the sweltering houston heat. he nails it nonetheless. there is an incredible elation in hearing this song live in a stadium of thousands, filled to the brim with people who sing along. there is an incredible depth of sadness in hearing the chorus over and over: i spent ten years in a bit of chemical haze, and i miss the way that i felt nothing.
patrick sings these high clear words and doesnt falter. andy and pete are the rhythm section and they keep the tempo, they hold the foundations, they are unshakable and if it is a difficult song for pete to hear live he doesnt show it. hes all smiles for the crowd. and joe...oh god, joe, who listed the kintsugi kid as his favorite off of so much (for) stardust, he plays this song live for the first time alongside his band, he plays the same melody on guitar that patrick sings during the choruses and in that way they are both singing alongside each other. when the song drops into the instrumental its just joe for a minute. just the rising tones of the guitar in this painfully vulnerable song, played to a stadium of thousands.
god, but my heart. im envious of those of you who got to hear this one for the first time, but im also indescribably happy that they played this one at all. its a special song. it deserved to be heard live.
inspired by this post which was in turn inspired by this post, shout out to @stultaloquy for this meme which i will now be using every night <3 get fucking scared <3
wishes bounce me weightless the infrared scope on pointlessness the bulls are sedated and this fight’s fixed don’t feel bad for the suicidal cats gotta kill themselves nine times before they get it right the p.a. system keeps my heart, heart beating tonight, yeah, oh hell yes, i’m a nervous wreck, oh hell yes, the drugs just make me reset, knock once for the father, twice for the son, three times for the holy ghost. come on in, the water’s warm, come on, like a sugar cube, but with a kick in the head, like putting wings on lead, and your eyes are blocking my starlight—im the last of my kind and that’s all that should matter ttto you. follow the disorganized religion of my head, and we’ll never get through customs, let’s just take off again instead, got my degree in the gutter, my heart broken in the dorms of the ivy league. oh hell yes, i’m a nervous wreck, oh hell yes, the drugs just make me reset, knock once for the father, twice for the son, three times for the holy ghost. knock once for the father, twice for the son, three times for the holy ghost—i’m a nervous wreck i’m a nervous wreck i’m a nervous wreck huh i’m a nnnervous wreck, i’m a nervous wreck, i’m a nervous wreck (oh hell yes) the drugs just make me reset (the drugs just make me reset). knock once for the father, twice for the son, three times for the holy ghost (three times) three times for the holy ghost (three times) three times for the holy ghost
THIS IS SOOOOOOO FUCKED UP PATRICK ENRICHMENT TIME PATRICK PIANO TIME HE PLAYED SPOTLIGHT THIS IS SICK THIS IS FUCKED FOLIE AND SOUL PUNK LIVE AGAIN PATRICK IS IN HIS HEALING AND GROWING AND EMBRACING AND THRIVING ERA
Last night, when they debuted "Bob Dylan" and everyone was talking about it on the dash, I started reflecting on my relationship to that song, how overcome with emotion I felt when it came out in 2019, how I sat and talked about it with my homeroom teacher (I was a queer junior in high school who less than a year ago stopped visiting her dad on the weekends and he was an English teacher with a very big heart, you know how it goes) because I so desperately wanted to wrap my head around what that song felt like, what it was making me feel.
"It feels like a love song, but not," was essentially my argument.
And he said, very very gently, "I think this is a break up song."
Now, we can debate all night about what the song is actually about, but that's not why I'm sharing this.
I'm sharing this because I remembered last night that by that year I had already become an avid journaler, and I looked up the release date for "Bob Dylan" and sure enough, when I flipped to that day in my notebook from that year, there was two page entry. One question my teacher I asked about the song stands out to me now.
Do I need to leave for you to love me like you love them?
Because the answer is a resounding no. Fall Out Boy does not need to leave to be loved, and everything they've done this year is a testament to that. They are here, they are here, they are here, and they are not going anywhere, and they love each other, and we love them, so, so much.
I don't know if this makes any sense, but in the quiet now that they've played their last US show, when we're all metaphysically shuffling our feet in the noisy crowded parking lot and basking in the cool night air and pointing up at the moon together, I wanted to share that.