#tragedy exploitation

[writingwithcolor]

A Careful Balance: Portraying a Black Character's Relationship with their Hair

@writingraccoon said:

My character is black in a dungeons and dragons-like fantasy world. His name is Kazuki Haile (pronounced hay-lee), and his mother is this world's equivalent of Japanese, which is where his first name is from, while his father is this world's equivalent of Ethiopian, which is where his last name is from. He looks much more like his father, and has hair type 4a. I plan to make his character very finnicky about his hair, both enjoying styling it, but also often being unsure how to style it (not in that he doesn't know how to, but has so many options for how to style it, he has trouble choosing). However, I know that there are some very harmful ways to write black hair, especially in regards to how the black character themselves feels about it. Kazuki does not hate his hair, in fact he takes joy in it, and I'm researching black hair and hair styles to be as accurate as possible. But I'm unsure if portraying a black character as occasionally overwhelmed by or vain about his hair is negative. How would you suggest either changing this or making it work? Does it need to be changed in the first place?

Black Character Overwhelmed by Curly Afro Hair

Your Black character wanting his hair to look its best and at times feeling overwhelmed seems reasonable and natural to me. It appears their challenge comes with how to style it. Not so much with struggling how it looks or how hard it is to manage. That is good, as this further helps avoid placing a strong negative focus on Black hair. 

Him caring a lot about how it is style should not be deemed vain or frivolous, either. In any case, hair care is self care. There’s nothing wrong with having pride with your hair, especially hair that mainstream society, historically and present, might say is not beautiful. This still matters, even in a fantasy world, since your readers still exist in this reality. It’s empowering and a welcome change to see someone who loves their afro hair, actually.

There are unique factors someone with coily afro hair would experience vs. straight, wavy, or looser curls, but people struggling with their hair (too frizzy, too flat, too limp, too thin, too thick!) is universal. 

There is a delicate balance to achieve.

Avoid Writing a Black Hair Journey Experience 

An overall negative Afro hair journey might be the reality for many, especially when society deems Afro hair as unacceptable and slaps so many uninvited opinions, laws and policies over its existence and on certain styles (again, historically and very much at present), but that’s the kind of story that is best handled by someone with the background. Someone willing to commit to the research might also be able to pull it off, although it’s truly not the kind of thing an escapism novel needs in my opinion. If the story is not meant to delve into “A Black /Black Hair Experience” then I'd avoid going that route. That is moving a bit towards a struggle narrative, depending on how much it defines your character’s story.

Add positive and neutral hair language and interactions

For your writing, I’d avoid using unchallenged negative language about his hair. Being overwhelmed at times and frustrated is one thing and expected. If his hair is constantly brought up, and is associated with uncontrollable, ugly, or too [insert struggle here], then rethink the direction you’re going. 

Add some positive or neutral terms, reactions, and interactions in the narrative towards afro hair, such as describing color and texture.

“His fine coils bounced in the wind.” 

“Hair black and shiny” 

“She wore her hair in two large, fluffy buns.”

“He admired his fresh, neat braids in the mirror, smiling at his reflection, before turning to leave.”

Another tip: It may have been for research purposes, but leave out any hair number categorizing in the story and rely on description. I’d say this goes for any story, as reading the number would feel off. 

“He had coily 4a hair.” Nahh! :P 

Also, I would suggest sending all passages that focus on his hair to a Black sensitivity reader for review.

More reading:

~Mod Colette

[chaoticdesertdweller]

[treasureplcnet]

also quite obsessed with karl being as detached from the story as he is. there's nothing that makes him have to be the detective that has to be involved, but he unknowingly dooms himself by agreeing to work with the KYAL cult. every other detective basically deals with elias head on except weissman, who only meets him right before he kills him. like he's right when he says "by my choices" because everything that leads him to being mixed up with the mannix cult is himself. it's the gambling debts and the choice to do the dirty work for an organisation he knows nothing about. he's the only one that doesn't encounter that body doing police work and it's specifically because he's told to cover it up. he gets himself into the mess and eventually fixes it but the fact that esther always dies in the doomed timelines and he's always too late even if he starts wanting to change things ("till this child. esther.") it just makes me very ill

[aroanthy]

kiryuu sibling stasis post-32 is so interesting to me. nanami tries to leave and is (temporarily but also, crucially, violently) prevented from doing so by touga and akio. after this experience she puts distance between herself and them: she leaves touga’s phone in the car, she resigns from the student council (though she dons her old uniform still), she repeatedly dismisses and undermines the authority of the rose code, of end of the world, of akio, of touga. but she’s still in ohtori, isn’t she? uncomfortable with the idea of leaving, uncertain if it’s really possible. she tried before, and it hurt her. deeply. it’s so interesting to me, nanami’s agency and how she limits her exertion of it after 32, when she realises it for what it is. contrast that with touga, who accepts this weird stalemate between them, who is, really, uninterested in having any relationship of any kind with nanami if he can’t gain something from her. he’s very passive with her after 32, compared to the passivity he’d always feigned towards her before in order to stoke reactions from her and then exploit them. i was thinking about how touga has always been able to sever his relationship with nanami, but chosen not to; first out of a sense of obligation (‘we should live to help each other’) then a realisation of how that could be exploited. i was thinking about how nanami has never realised her ability to leave, in part because it is limited by touga and the harm he does her. i was thinking about the desperation and confusion akio calls out to anthy with as she leaves. i was thinking about how different that is to the kiryuus’ strange semi-breakdown; touga doesn’t want or need nanami, and nanami might love her brother but she cannot trust him or feel safe around him, doesn’t want to see him anymore; she’s itching to leave, and just a little scared (you know, because last time she tried that her brother assaulted her), and he’s not doing anything because ignoring her means he doesn’t have to deal with the emotions of her leaving or staying. something something gendered power dynamics something something tragic siblings

[tu-es-gegg]

I need to know,

Was I the only person who was thinking during the last episode of generation loss thinking, " This isn't the end, also long as we are watching the show will go on. "

Or am I just a tab bit insane?

NO YOURE RIGHT I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING BECAUSE LIKE;

Generation Loss (Gen 1), to me at least, was about the effect of an audience, what sort of things happen when suddenly a mass of eyes flock towards a person so suddenly, its so prevalent throughout.

It's a commentary on the media industry and how its focus seems to be ONLY the audience, not its creators. They don't have any problems torturing their subjects, forcing filters and inhibitions to act on a democratic whim, just so they can have an audience. But the audience is not exempt from being used by the industry either. The audience is a part of the social experiment, we are just as much the lab rats as the streamers are.

The ending of the 3rd episode brought that home for me because literally the audience is a perpetrator and witness to a poor guy's death. It's what the audience chose to do when they cant look away. It's what the audience will ruminate on as the credits roll with his dead body being zoomed away from. They can't stop seeing the corpse, the camera won't let them all the way until the end.

All the glitches into the "reality" were intentional otherwise the cameras would've panned away, cut to a technical diffulties break. But no, they showed the blood in Charlie's gut for a split second, they showed the characters freezing on hold as Sneeg is being reset.

The audience can't help but watch a comedy and a tragedy. So the show goes on with that in mind. They want the audience to laugh at the bits and jokes, they want us to cry and plead when our favourite character is threatened. The audience gives Showfall Media power when they react, when they give their eyes where they shouldn't be.

The only way it ends is when people look away, but Showfall Media won't let that happen.

[apeachtree]

banging my fists on a table bawling my eyes out collapsing to the floor god PLEASE send me someone who understands Gale Hawthornes character PLEASE

[coochiequeens]

"Like many people who go through surrogacy, Cathy said it was not a choice; it was their only option." While I feel bad for what Cathy went through surrogacy was NOT her only option. Adoption is also possible.

By Kate McDonald

As a bill that seeks to regulate aspects of surrogacy goes before cabinet, Prime Time spoke to families who have used international surrogates.

"My house was silent. When you have a stillborn baby, your house is silent." Cathy Wheatley was seven months pregnant when she had a spontaneous uterine rupture. Her daughter, who she named Helen, died at birth and Cathy found out she could not carry any more pregnancies. "I lost my little girl," Cathy said. Despite their devastating loss, Cathy and her husband Keith Wheatley, from Co Wicklow, were determined to have their family.

Like many people who go through surrogacy, Cathy said it was not a choice; it was their only option."When a doctor mentions surrogacy, your first reaction is, people like me don't do that. You know what I mean? Like, we're just ordinary, everyday people on a farm in Wicklow. "But when they looked into it, they found that there were Irish couples doing it.

"You have to be very careful to make sure that you do all your research so that you know that you're doing the best that you possibly can for your babies, but also for your surrogate, because without your surrogate, you wouldn't have your babies," Cathy said.

The Wheatleys decided to go to a clinic in Ukraine, where they met Ivanna, who would eventually carry and give birth to their twins Ted and Elsie.

"It's the biggest thing in the world to give your babies to somebody to carry and to mind until they can give them back to you," Cathy said.

"I love those kids but I don't love them as my own; those are different feelings. Like it’s my nephew or cousins, not like my son or my daughter," Ivanna said.

Ivanna told Prime Time she became a surrogate mother after the birth of her second son.

"That is something I wanted to do because I love helping people, I love the feeling of being pregnant and I thought why, why don’t I help?" Ivanna said.

Cathy and Keith Wheatley remortgaged their house to front the cost. They paid just under €40,000 to their clinic in Ukraine, of which €14,000 was compensation for their surrogate Ivanna.

"I’m pregnant for nine months. I don’t work. But I have two kids. And my kids have basic needs" Ivanna said.

"They needed food, they needed education, they need dresses – everything that a normal kid needs. If I am surrogate, I am pregnant, I can’t work. It’s not like you are getting a lot of money with that - not like you decide 'I need money’ so I’ll go and get a baby for somebody. [It’s] not like many people think it is."

With legal fees, flights and accommodation, their total spend was €70,000.

"They don’t pay you for being pregnant in Ukraine, they compensate for your time," Ivanna said.

The Wheatleys and Ivanna developed a deep relationship and kept in touch after the twins’ birth.

When Russia invaded Ukraine two years ago, the Wheatleys brought Ivanna and her children to live with them in Ireland.

"If we talk about what happened in my country now, they came and they saved my life and they saved the life of my kids because four years ago I gave life to their kids," Ivanna said.

Brian and Kathy Egan had always planned to have four children. But after having her first son, Harry, Kathy had six miscarriages and she said she knew a larger family wasn't to be.

"It obviously gets harder every time to pick yourself up after it and try again. But we still felt very strongly that we'd be able to do this."

Kathy had no issue getting pregnant but couldn’t sustain the pregnancies. After another two miscarriages, the Egans began to consider surrogacy.

"Because it's new to you, you're second-guessing everything, you really want to make sure you have the right information. It's going to be the right clinic, the right surrogate, and everything is right in every way," Brian said.

Kathy and Brian Egan

The cost of surrogacy in the US and Canada ruled that region out for them, so they began looking elsewhere. They decided to go with a clinic in Lviv, Ukraine.

"Within a month, we were matched with a surrogate who matched my blood type, and we went ahead. But unfortunately, at the 20-week scan, we discovered there was a fatal fetal abnormality within the heart."

That first surrogate pregnancy ended in miscarriage, but the Egans then found a second surrogate.

"We did Zoom or Skype calls with Mariana, our surrogate. Her first response after every checkup was, 'now, can we tell Kathy & Brian?'"

"She's a very strong lady and quite business-like too. She was in no doubt that this was helping us both," Brian said.

Baby Luke arrived in May 2019 while Brian, Kathy and big brother Harry were at home in Kilkenny. They travelled through the night to get to Lviv.

"You cannot get there quick enough. You'd swim there," Kathy said.

"He was tiny. He was four weeks early, but he looked like Harry looked when he was born. So, I knew straight away which one to walk over to."

"You feel like, you know, you've been talking to him for months and praying and hoping to meet him, but it's like no other feeling," Kathy said.

The entire process cost the Egans about €100,000, they said.

Two years later, in June 2021, the family were stunned when Brian was diagnosed with an aggressive form of prostate cancer.

"I didn't know what to say, really. That ‘cancer’ word anyway, you're all over the place," Brian said.

Eleven days after he was diagnosed, Brian’s prostate was removed. The surgery was a success, but his next blood test indicated the cancer had spread.

"At that stage I genuinely felt I didn't have long left. I was looking at Luke, he was two, didn't know if he was going, I was going to see him being three."

Brian received radiotherapy treatment and is still getting hormone treatment, which he says is going well.

However, due to the lack of regulation around the legal status for parents of children born through surrogacy, the Egans were left in a precarious situation.

Current Irish legislation does not cover legal issues that arise in surrogacy. The legal status and rights of all people involved are covered by the laws dealing with non-surrogate births.

This means the surrogate mother, who gives birth to the child, is the child's legal mother under Irish law. In the Egan’s case, Kathy is not Luke’s legal parent, although genetically he is her son as he was born using Kathy’s egg and Brian’s sperm.

"We just realised, if I pass away prematurely, Luke is effectively an orphan of the state." said Brian. "Kathy is just his legal guardian. He would not have a parent, he has different rights to Harry."

Brian and Kathy decided to take a case to the High Court, saying the State had failed to recognise Kathy as Luke’s mother.

The Egans were in court in April but have recently paused their action after hearing assurances that long-promised surrogacy legislation will be brought before the Oireachtas soon.

Under proposed terms of the Health (Assisted Human Reproduction) Bill 2022, parents of children born through surrogacy will be recognised as legal parents, if they meet certain criteria in the jurisdiction in which the surrogacy is intended to take place, and also the criteria to be specified in the Irish legislation.

Senator Mary Seery Kearney and her husband Dave tried to have a baby via IVF.

"We did 13 rounds.... I was pregnant on five occasions...unfortunately, they all resulted in a miscarriage," she said.

"We're a very close couple, but it's a very, very stressful experience. All my life... I wanted to be a mother. I wanted my own child," she said.

Mary initially thought that surrogacy was for well-off people: "My view was Elton John did surrogacy, really rich people did surrogacy. We were ordinary people, already indebted from all of the IVFs we had done."

When she began researching, she initially relied on Google. She said the most impressive website she found was for a clinic in Kyiv.

"We flew over, we gave them €12,000 upfront, and nothing came of that," she said.

Senator Mary Seery Kearney

After that experience in Ukraine, Senator Seery Kearney and her husband found a clinic in India and a surrogate who would carry their child.

"We were so grateful to this woman, and I also felt a huge responsibility for her," Mary said.

They said they sent gifts every couple of weeks and engaged with the surrogate mother all the way through. When the pregnancy reached the 20-week mark, they allowed themselves to hope it would be a success.

"I have to say, right up until the moment we stood outside the theatre, I didn't really believe. I believed that something was going to go wrong. Because you, you carry that trauma into the experience," she said.

But when they were called inside they knew it was real.

"I literally ran, I screamed and ran, 'this is my little girl,' handed into my arms," she said.

Now advocating in the Oireachtas for changes to made to Irish surrogacy legislation, Mary thinks 'goodwill' payments should be made to the surrogate to cover their costs during the pregnancy, but does not agree with commercial surrogacy: in which an agency takes a fee and passes on a portion of it to the surrogate.

"Throughout the process you have doctors paid, clinicians paid, you have the travel agent's paid, you have the lawyers paid.

"The only person that isn't entitled to any goodwill gesture at all is the person who's giving birth, who's carrying the pregnancy and giving birth. And that there is no reason why a goodwill payment could not be made to that surrogate," she says.

[deemacs]

in light of recent events i really keep my fingers crossed for elon musk and his mars expeditions <3

[writingwithcolor]

Am I handling the black woman character’s murder well?

@selfdxd2 asked:

Hello! My current project is a crime fiction set in KY, USA in which the instigating action is the death of a young black woman (W), with the first half being another young woman (L) investigating her disappearance and how it correlates with the disappearance of her close friend. That friend (P) is later found alive after having been kidnapped because he witnessed the crime, and is the POV character of the second half. He is also a white man, and him being white is relevant to other aspects of the story. My intention is for the "credit" for solving W's death to go almost entirely to L (who is also a woman of color, specifically Romani), and for the tragedy to be centered around the unfair loss of life and the pain of her parents and others who knew W rather than how bad P feels about it. My main cast also has two other prominent black women with arcs that extend outside this tragedy. All of this is intended to lend to one of the story's major themes of social invisibility vs visibility. So does this exploration of that stray into harmful territory from the outset? I know successfully keeping away from any white manpain traps will take active caution while actually writing the story and I intend to get sensitivity readers as I work on it, but I wanted to get some feedback on my starting point before going too far down that road. Thanks so much for all you do!

It is important for us to know why this young Black woman was murdered to give specific advice. 

Was it racially motivated, gender motivated, or both? 

Wrong place, wrong time? 

Did someone take revenge?

Was she involved in something insidious? 

Was it truly an accident?

Depending on the reason, you should explore and acknowledge this violence and the existing societal problem behind it. For help, see the crime stats on violence against Black women.

…and for the tragedy to be centered around the unfair loss of life and the pain of her parents and others who knew W rather than how bad P feels about it.

Yes, give a voice to the people most affected by her death. Other Black women, people, and Women of Color. This will help further not make it about the feelings of a white man. He is absolutely a victim of the crime too, being kidnapped, so his trauma does matter and should be tended to. But ultimately, he gets to live.

On that note, his life being worth kidnapping vs. ending begs the question; why wasn’t he murdered while the Black woman’s life had to end? And for representation purposes, why couldn’t it be the other way around (Where the Black woman lives and witnesses the crime, and the white man dies)?

This is why knowing your reasoning for her death is so important. 

Otherwise, if she was thoughtlessly murdered, it does feel like her life was incredibly devalued in your story due to her being a Black woman. It’s a serious and true problem, so I'm not saying not to write this. This just needs careful exploring. If you’re choosing to bring this real life problem into your story, it deserves full and respectful acknowledgement. 

Please check out our resources on writing tragic material, Black suffering and abuse and avoiding exploitation. 

More reading: tragedy exploitation tag

~Mod Colette

[startingfires]

ah yes, it did not take long for people to start saying racist and xenophobic things. keep it up guys :D

[wardrobemoments]

Can a smart person tell me why Jane was into Kristina after the shit she pulled on him with the whole "your daughter never woke up" thing? Like, they clearly have vastly different principles/perspectives; what could have drawn him to her of all people?

I mean, Kristina kind of baffles me as a character to begin with. She comes across as completely sincere in her belief in the supernatural/afterlife/her own psychic abilities or whatever, and I'm not sure if that's the show writers trying to nod at the possibility of their existence or if it's just Kristina being deluded. And if she's not actually sincere, and she's scamming everyone all along, then why the hell would Jane want to be involved with her, given his own past?

Is there some third option I'm ignoring?

I've read some excellent posts analyzing Kristina's presence as a foil to Jane but I'm still confused as to why she would be set up as a love interest (even a failed one) for him.

Any thoughts?

[whileyoureinschoolidothisallday]

if you call yourself a leftist and you're using the senseless murder of Palestinians to be antisemitic, then you always were and were just waiting for an excuse.

you disgust me.

[colorisbyshe]

I just know in my heart Nope is gonna be too slow an too thoughtful for Marvel-brained people but I actually really appreciate that it just... let moments linger. And how it kind of shouted it themes out loud a couple times (QUITE loudly) and then was like “Okay, now I’m gonna subtly weave those into the entire text.” So, like, everyone, even the Marvel brained people, can at least be clued in as to the general motifs and topics at hand while still having a loooot of room to dig in.

Like Us, there are some logistical rabbit holes that are best not jumping down, but that’s all tangible “How does this world” work stuff while the meat of the story (the erasure and exploitation of black people in hollywood, in ranching and with ACTUAL cowboys and in westerns which have whitewashed that history to hell, as well as the exploitation of animals and human suffering in general for profit and entertainment, tied together neatly with a commentary on the NEED to document all of human life without actual REGARD for human life) remains honestly unparalleled in most other modern film, ESPECIALLY genre content which has been taken over my brainless CGI-fests that most of the time either say nothing besides “support the US military” or “the police state is good.”

Whether the film is leaving bread crumbs or entire loafs of heavyhanded for the audience to follow, it’s clear it ALWAYS has somewhere to go and something to say. It takes it’s time with it and breaks up any monotony with genuine suspenseful sequences or beautiful shots of canyons and sprawling landscapes. The visual focus on nature contrasted with the grotesque sights of regurgitated, bloody manmade goods and buildings also really padded onto the thematic lens of the film--showing the shortcomings of a modern world obsessed with the digital, the electronic, the flashy while shunning and abusing our land, animals, and our people. We may have to turn our eyes from the sprawling monster above us but that doesn’t mean we have to turn our backs on each other or those below us.

I pity anyone who doesn’t get this film. And I say this as someone who is still processing it.

BRB gonna some articles and reviews to see what I missed. Cause I feel like I’m only 3 layers in to  5 layer cake, y’unno?

[dragonsandducks]

nothing ever has made me or will make me as mad as that fucking "most beautiful suicide" photo. a photo taken of a dead woman whose suicide note read, and i quote, "I don't want anyone in or out of my family to see any part of me. could you destroy my body by cremation?" and then SOME MAN comes along and takes a picture of her body and spreads it everywhere.

it still exists. the photo outlives her, it probably even outlives her family members. and it makes me so angry that this woman was not only denied her one final wish, but ogled by generations of people who ignore the fact that she was a depressed, mentally ill woman who fucking killed herself.

why is there no respect for the dead?

[swordrobe]

ive been getting really into deep sea exploration lately. which is insane and difficult to tell anyone given the circumstances. I'm reading a lot about all of the challenger deep missions and looking at ocean floor images. can i can't say anythign about it without being like "yeah i wanted to know more about the circumstances and engineering that lead to those guys getting playdoh spaghetti machined so now i'm reading about SUCCESSFUL submersibles. did you know there's large passenger submarines in the bahamas that are actually regulated and maintained properly that dive to 200 feet and they take tourists to the reefs and shallower shipwrecks? did you know the hmhs britannica is only 200 or so feet down and its almost identical to the titanic and fully intact because there's no iron eating bacteria in the aegean sea, and also isn't a mass grave to 1500 people? how cool is that?"